The Scathing Atheist - 606: Eli's Birthday Edition

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

On this week’s episode: A blasphemy suspect in Pakistan gets a taste of American policing ... A Christian newspaper tries its hand at skepticism and physically injures itself ... And Cecil helps reenact the bible again because of ongoing blackmail. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines: Christian posts tries to debunk negative claims about Trump and bunks them instead: https://www.christianpost.com/news/5-debunked-hoaxes-related-to-donald-trump.html As Taliban starts restricting men, too, some regret not speaking up sooner: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2024/09/22/afghanistan-taliban-restrictions-men-beards/ In an Unprecedented Move, Ohio Is Funding the Construction of Private Religious Schools: https://www.propublica.org/article/ohio-taxpayer-money-funding-private-religious-schools North Sumatra unveils world's tallest Christ statue: https://www.thestar.com.my/aseanplus/aseanplus-news/2024/09/22/north-sumatra-unveils-world039s-tallest-christ-statue Mark Robinson, NC GOP nominee for governor, called himself a ‘black NAZI’ and supported slavery in past comments made on porn forum: https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/19/politics/kfile-mark-robinson-black-nazi-pro-slavery-porn-forum/index.html Pakistan police shoot dead blasphemy suspect: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cz9pg8d4245o

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This podcast is as nice to religion as religion is to us. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by BetterHelp, HelloFresh, and by the new orange-colored breakfast drink for Republicans, the Trumpkin Spice Latte, made with extra tang and frothy regret. And now, the scathing atheist. I'm JD Vance, and I assure you that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men who know how donuts work. ["The Last Supper"]

It's Thursday. It's September 26th. And guess whose birthday it is? Serena Williams. Oh, I love Serena Williams. Happy birthday, Serena. I hate you guys. I'm Eli Bosnik.

I'm Cecil something Italian. I'm Heathen Wright. And from Jared Kushner's, New Jersey, Arbor, Michigan, and Chicago, Illinois, this is The Skating Atheist. On this week's episode, a blasphemy suspect in Pakistan gets a taste of American policing. Christian newspaper tries its hand at skepticism and physically injures itself. And I helped reenact the Bible again because of ongoing blackmail. But first, the Eliotron.

So a buddy reached out to me this week because, as a part of her master's degree, lucky her, she got to read some William Lane Craig, a fantastic argument against higher education, if ever I've heard one. And look, if you haven't read any of William Lane Craig's books, they're pretty unbearably dishonest and obtuse. But she hit me up because all that stuff aside, there's one part that she had to admit was kind of bumming her out. Right? Over and over throughout his books, William Lane Craig makes the claim that without God, life is meaningless. Right? He admits that it can still be joyful, it can be fulfilling and praiseworthy,

but without the grand existential meaning ascribed to it by the existence of the divine, life in and of itself does not have a meaning. And look, whatever else you want to say about his arguments, that's true. And also kind of a bummer. And look, I think that we as atheists tend not to face this kind of thing as head on as often as we should, right? Partly because I think we're loathe to cede any ground to Christian arguments, let alone William Lane Craig's arguments, but partly because for a lot of us, the existential fear

about meaning and our grander place in the universe is what kept us in religion in the first place. And most of us just kind of got over that emotionally, right? The not godiness of the world became so overwhelming that we kind of just had to move on to a lack of belief, whether or not we squared with it in our hearts. But with your permission, I'd like to take a shot, or at least a shot at William Lane Craig. And the first thing I want to point out is that, despite what Willy Vanilla might tell you, these are questions that the secular world has spent a lot of time meaningfully addressing, right?

Logotherapy is a whole field of psychology and its conclusions have been applied to practices like CBT or ACT. I mean, we've done a ton of work as a species on being okay with their not being a capital M meaning to life. But what I want to point out for us, like as atheists philosophically, is that what William Lane Craig has is worse than a life without meaning. He has a life with a meaning that is wrong. The meaning of life, according to William Lane Craig, is to be Christian and make other people Christian.

And while I'm not going to pretend to know what the meaning of life is, I know for damn sure it's not fucking that. And that wrongness matters, right? No amount of financial planning is ever going to make me feel as good as the belief that I have a bucket of leprechaun gold in my garage. No well-performing 401k is ever going to make me feel as happy or as secure as the untold riches my legitimate picture of Bigfoot is going to bring me. But the not realness of those things renders the pleasure that we get from the belief in them moot.

Right? It doesn't matter how good a meaningful religious life feels. It's not real. And look, I wish I had a happy ending for you when it comes to the meaning of life from our end. I mean, spoilers, it is what you make it. And that's admittedly pretty lame. But at least we can be comforted that we're not as wrong as William Lane Craig. They're talking about your Jesus. We're able to wrap this broadcast and bring you a special news, Wilmington. Joining me for headlines tonight are the father and son to my Holy Ghost, Cecil Something

Italian and Eli Bosnik.. Are you ready to? merge onto this Three-way, I mean I was gonna try and turn this into a three-way but way less suddenly than I merge Ethan right so Hey, those aren't my turn signals. Those are hazards. Okay. Yeah All right. Well, we're gonna work on our our signaling system. That's important and we're gonna take a quick break for a word from our sponsor Better help I'm doing the eye pointy. Mm-hmm eyes It's a good start This podcast is sponsored by better help

Okay, what if I send you pictures of my feet first so, you know, I'm honest, right? Like I'm that's like the opposite of what I want man. You send so many mixed messages. Can I say that guys? What's with all the shouting? Eli is the third act of a stalker movie. Just let me love you. That's all I'm saying. Eli, it sounds like you might be dealing with a lack of clarity in your relationships. Yeah, I guess I am. He tattooed my cat on his chest, man. To help you with loving me, Cecil? What have you done for this friendship?

That's my question. Okay, well, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. But Heath, what if I can't afford therapy? I spent a lot of my money bribing that tech at 23andMe to fake the results of me and Cecil to say that we were brothers.

Well, with BetterHelp, financial aid is available so therapy can be accessible for everyone. You can even use FSA and HSA dollars. Amazing, where do I sign up? Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash scathing today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash scathing.

All right, Keith. Thanks. What say we all get matching tattoos to celebrate? Nope. Not doing that. Absolutely not. But I already got a third of the Triforce. So triangle? Yep, triangle. It's actually a quarter if you think about it. And now, back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, we have a very important story

about being good skeptics who don't repeat misinformation and hoaxes on the internet. And we learned about the truth thanks to the tireless efforts of the journalism team at The Christian Post. That's right, I'm still on their email list because hearing stuff from people who are always wrong is actually a pretty good resource if you use it correctly. The article I got the message about is entitled, Five Debunked Hoaxes Related to Donald Trump. And the article is, accidentally, a list of five very real things about Donald Trump. And the article is accidentally a list of five

very real things about Donald Trump that are stupid and evil. They tried to do some debunking and they bunked it just super hard. Yeah, the Christian Post at this point is kinda like that time the Super Friends found Superman by asking Bizarro where he wouldn't go. That's what we're working with at this point.

It works. So the article starts just mid-yell. There's an argument already happening and they're already mad and sad about it. They're already killing. It's copy and pasted from a Facebook fight someone was losing. Absolutely. And Christian author John

Brown is making excuses for Trump losing the debate with Kamala Harris. Mid-yell. Brown claims that Harris brought up several of these hoaxes, but the ABC moderators were clearly Democratic operatives, so those moderators never pushed back. That's despite the five different times they did a fact check on Donald Trump. Did Trump get stuff wrong in those moments? Can you murder a baby after it's born?

Not clear. Mr. Brown has already moved on. Alleged hoax number one. No further questions. No further questions. Hands down please. Hands down please. I'm going to hold up my phone that is clearly not onto my ear as I walk away.

Absolutely. So he's already moved on to alleged hoax number one, the very fine people comment from Trump after the homicidal neo-Nazi rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, that was protesting the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue. So I'm reading this and I was like, okay, the title of the alleged hoax contains the exact words of a quote that definitely happened.

Please proceed, Governor, and let's see where they go with this. And here's the argument from Mr. Brown. In response to a question about the protest at the time, Trump claimed there were very fine people on both sides of the statue debate. And he bunked it. There it was. Go on, Mr. Brown. you're doing great so far. I'm dusting off my hands, we're done, okay. From there, he argued that Trump later clarified

that he wasn't saying that neo-Nazis were good people, he just meant that the other people involved in the very same protest as the neo-Nazis, those were the good people. The moderate white nationalists who demand to keep statues of Confederate generals. Those are the good people on that side he was talking about. Very fine people. Yeah.

Got it. Therefore, mentioning the exact quote from Trump that he definitely sent is a hoax. Hoax number one, bunked, debunked, whatever. Look, in order to give credit to this debunking, Trump would need to say something like, of course, I'm not talking about the Nazis when I say that, but he didn't, right? This guy's just pretending to know what he meant

like it's a new version of the fucking Bible. How do we have Bible apologetics for Trump already? He's still fucking alive. He's alive. The guy did close the paragraph with, also while I'm on the subject, not all men too. Okay. Not all men. That was helpful. So moving on to alleged hoax number two, bleach as a cure for COVID. So according to Brown, Joe Biden during during the debate in June, claimed that Donald Trump suggested injecting or ingesting bleach to combat COVID. And then Brown explained how Trump suggested injecting or ingesting bleach to combat COVID. But first, we're told about how Trump was considering photons and the idea of somehow

bringing UV light inside the body to kill the virus, which is also a real thing that Trump said. Then Brown once again gives us the exact words from Trump that he's trying to debunk. During a press conference in April of 2020, Trump said, quote, supposing you brought the light inside the body. Eli, will you give us a Trump? Will you give us Trump for the quote? Oh yeah.

Let me let me handle this. Supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. What other like ears? Butthole? What are you talking about? He's open to other holes apparently. Yeah. So Trump continued his quote. And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Yeah, that's the end of the quote. And apparently Trump saying disinfectant instead of bleach makes the whole thing honks. And also a useful thing to remind us all about

so that we vote for Trump? Right, okay, so just to be clear, so far both debunkings have been he didn't mean what his words mean. Like, is Mr. Brown willing to like stand at the side as an ASL translator moving forward when Trump speaks? You see, Your Honor, what I said was, give me all your money. But what I meant was, I would like all your money willingly,

and I am not taking it by threat. Am I free to go? Right. That's insane. All right, next up, we have alleged hoax number three. Trump saying, if I don't get elected, it's going to be a bloodbath.

And I'm guessing you're noticing the pattern here. The article gives the quote where he said that and then explains that it doesn't count. So it's a hoax. Trump was speaking at a rally in Ohio and he was talking about putting a 100% tariff on all the cars made in Mexico if he gets elected again. And then he said quote, if I don't get elected, it's gonna be a bloodbath for the whole. Bunked! Bunked! I bunked it! He says for the whole and then pauses to think about his terrorism that he just started doing and then he was like, Yep, gonna keep going with it. Gonna keep going with my terrorist quote.

That's gonna be the least of it. It's gonna be a bloodbath for the country. End exact quote. Oh, for the country? For the country. Yeah, no, it's cool. It's a metaphor about bloodbath. Egg on my face.

Yeah, the country's gonna die. That's not even what he meant. That's not what they're gonna go for with the argument here. The reason it doesn't count as invoking violence is because he was talking about an economic bloodbath. The people at the Christian Post checked with Merriam-Webster and there's a meaning for the word bloodbath that relates to the economy. It means a major economic disaster. So Trump obviously meant the economic disaster of not having 100% tariffs on Mexican-made cars. You know, just like the disaster we had for his entire administration last time and ever

since. So technically saying bloodbath doesn't count as the way Trump obviously meant it and everybody obviously heard it. That's not how words work. Yeah, but the thing is he later did a bunch more inciting to terrorism, right? It's not like that one phrase was the gotcha we were clinging to, right? He also was like, overthrow the government, I'm Donald Trump. Right. Like, if your dog regularly rips people's faces off like the late great Hannibal Lecter,

people are going to get a little nervous when it nips at him, you know? That's fair. But also, like, don't focus on the time he almost got the mailman, right? Like, that's not why people are upset. Alright, that brings us to Alleged Hoax are upset. All right. That brings us to alleged hoax number four. Is your dog wearing the face? That's crazy. This is the only one that was even close to accurate. And it's about the tear gas that happened right before Trump gave that speech holding the Bible in front of St. John's church

near the White House in 2020. The article pointed out that, contrary to the initial reports, Trump did not order teargas to clear the protesters nearby in order to make room for his photo op, which was actually found to be true as far as we know by the investigation they did. And they pointed out he did not hold the Bible upside down like some people were saying at the time, but None of that matters because what he did do what Trump did do is give a speech that started with a giant pause for Zero applause. He wanted the applause so bad. He got absolutely nothing He waited for so long and then he starts talking and he says thank you. Thank you

And the other thing he did that we got reminded about by the Christian Post is Hold up a Bible like he was a fucking alien from a different dimension that doesn't have rectangles And they showed that photo in the article to remind us And they showed that photo in the article to remind us. Yeah, honestly, you could not make no illusions posed with a Bible more awkwardly or resentfully as Donald Trump is. It looks like it's hurting him. It does. It's like he's doing an ass out hug with a Bible.

It's so hard. My co-host for the other podcast, Eddie Lafayette Assembly pointed out to me that the church sign behind him at the time when he's holding hisle Assembly, pointed out to me that the church sign behind him at the time when he's holding his Bible up, it says on the back of him, in all caps, it says all are welcome. Yeah, that's not ideal. Choose your backgrounds better, Donald.

And that church was definitely not happy about being associated with Trump. And finally, we have alleged hoax number five. Trump saying he's gonna be dictator on day one. And once again, the article started there debunking with Trump definitely saying exactly that. He was doing a town hall with Sean Hannity and just that's already evil. Whatever happens next doesn't matter. That's just already terrible. Hannity asked Trump if Trump would promise to never abuse presidential power in order to get revenge on his enemies if he gets elected again. And again already evil if somebody needs to ask

you that what the fuck is happening you're definitely evil just for being asked that. Trump responded by saying he won't abuse power, quote, except for day one. On day one, Trump said he's gonna close the border and drill all the oil, whatever the fuck that means for day one. And then he added, after that, I'm not a dictator, okay? And according to the Christian Post, this one is a hoax

because Trump said it with a jokey tone of voice. Yeah, well, you know, as long as Christians have never overreacted to a joke that a Democratic president has made and used it to accuse them of being a dictator, I think we can agree that's what's awash, right? This one's all in good fun. I'm going to carefully unwrap and keep the packaging on my absolute power so I can easily return it the next day.

That's the plan. Got the receipt. So, yeah, big thanks to John Brown and the Christian Post for reminding everyone about a list of stupid things Donald Trump definitely did and said. You're doing God's work over there. Just not how you think. And in, if only we could have seen this coming news, the Taliban, the fundamentalist Islamic cult that runs Afghanistan, has shifted its focus from completely subjugating women to other sites.

Dudes. Men? Come on. That is ridiculous. I am not renewing my subscription. That's ridiculous. Canceling that shit right away. That's right. The crazy religious fundamentalists that have forbidden women from going to school or studying, from working, from leaving the house without a male chaperone, from uncovering tiny bits of skin in public,

and from even public speaking, have decided that guys have a little too much freedom too. So now they require guys to have a fist-long beard, ban wearing clothes that look too much like a non-Muslim, and they are also now prohibited from looking at women other than their wives or relatives. Okay, I guess Eli's safe based on all that stuff. But that sets up a fun game for women who want to do pranks there. Just making dudes like Bird Box around town with blindfolds. Right? Sets up an action movie shootout where nobody's looking. I mean, the movie rights itself, people.

The movie rights itself. In a very Leopards ate my face moment, the men who are the privilege class are now wondering if they should have spoken up sooner when the Taliban enacted massive restrictions on the female population. Quote, if men had raised their voices, we might be in a different situation now. Said a male resident of the capital, Kabul, who like others interviewed for this story, spoke on the condition of anonymity or that only their first name be used due to fears of drawing unwanted scrutiny from the regime

Continuing the quote now everyone is growing a beard because we don't want to be questioned Humiliated he said insert shocked Pikachu face Frustrating now for men here and now I have this weird patchy early beard. It's really it Understand the plight of women now. Okay, that said, I am hoping they go like full Catholic school with this, right? There's a pervy female teacher like groping boys' beards, sending them home if they're too short, making them wear a big beard with the school mascot around on it all day, you know. We'll use the measuring device for the skirts.

It's cool. Yeah, a lot of ideas. Exactly. You have to wear. We'll use the measuring device for the skirts. It's cool. Yeah, a lot of ideas, exactly. You have to wear the loner beard for the rest of the day. Exactly, yeah. Okay, so this is to all the people with privilege out there. I'm listening. You two fellas that live under the Taliban, this is for you as well.

People with privilege need to use their power to protect anyone, and I mean anyone that is the target of oppression. Those people already had their power stripped away. And guess who's next? That's right. The smallest group left until they get to you. Sure, there's more noble reasons to help people.

But as you can see with this case and with so many others, self-interest is a factor too. Right. And since, you know, so that other people aren't made second class citizens isn't working, self-interest seems to be worth a shot. I feel like self-interest is what I got to aim at here. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For terrible people to be a little bit better once in a while. Martin Luther King Jr. said, injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. So all you conservative atheists, men who don't really care about abortion rights or people who shrug when they come after trans rights because you don't know a lot of trans

people. When they get smaller, less privileged people out of the way, they're going to come after you. And they're never content to stop at one group. You are only part of the in group transitionally. Remember that. Great reminder. And in why-o-why-o-why-o news. It's a no-no Nanette reference.

Topical. Appreciate everyone out there who got that. Thank you, yeah? Yeah, thank you. The lavish Broadway musical. Thank you, yes, obviously. Hit of the 1940s. Something like that. Doesn't matter.

What is happening right now? They may not be eating cats and dogs in Ohio, but they are definitely screwing the pooch. As ProPublica and a bunch of other news outlets reported this week that for the first time, the state of Ohio is funding the construction of private religious schools. Yeah, for the first time ever, as long as you don't count that one time that we never make churches pay property taxes forever. Sure. This time it's directly funding their school of lying, which is even worse, but it's all a big pile of money and we've been subsidizing the lies the whole time in every state.

Exactly. Yeah. So first up, big thanks to Nick and a bunch of other folks who sent us this story to scathingnewsatgmail.com. If you send us atheist news to scathingnewsatgmail.com, we'll reply with the GPS of the tag we put on Noah's ear for his vacation. Like they do with seals and whales. But the trail is a cloud of wheat smoke. And you're not going to stay on that trail very long inside that cloud unless you are a bro. Really, Lucinda is the only person who can do it. It's hard. How do you hotbox a whole trail? That's amazing.

That's global warming. People don't know this. We don't like to get it out there because it might reflect that. But hotboxes actually just know what caused global warming. Also Eli, do you think the tags that they put on like whales have a physical trail that they follow visually? That's how the scientists do it? Yeah, with a magnifying glass. I would not. I'm like... Describe what you think that family

It's a little bit of ink and it comes out of the tank one at a time And then they follow the dots like a family circle. Okay, neither here nor there. Okay, neither here nor there Here's the story you were saying story. Thank you interrupting Jewish-american over the past couple of years more and more states have created so-called school voucher programs which give parents taxpayer money to spend on private school tuition for their kids. And look, voucher programs are in theory great ideas. Strong disagree.

Strong! Strong disagree. Okay, let me explain. Sometimes. Sometimes in some cases. Look, so folks with special needs kids often require expensive private educations to get their kids the help they need, and offsetting that cost makes that possible for some families. But, as Heath points out, that's not how they're being used, right?

They're being used at religious schools, which often provide a significantly worse education, directly support theocracy and bigotry, and more importantly, don't have to follow any of the fucking laws. Okay, if I got a voucher check from the state for not having kids and therefore not using public schools, and then I lit that check on fire, it's a better outcome.

That's true. Also explains why vouchers as a general concept are ridiculous. Like, should I get a voucher because I want to use like the private fire department that I invented myself? Like, you know, you have to just you're using roads or you're not. We're all paying for roads. You don't get vouchers.

Monthly check for all the wheelchairs you don't. We live in a society. Literally, we live in a society. Yeah, it's like they're afraid someone will exploit the system. So, you know, if we decide to help a special needs kid with that money, we're Yeah, it's like they're afraid someone will exploit the system. So you know, if we decide to help a special needs kid with that money, we're going to actually instead what we're going to do is we're going to split that money up amongst all students and then churches can then exploit the whole system.

That is America. Damn it. USA TM. Yeah, exactly. So as we have just pointed out, the problem is that now so many people have abused this system that the issue within those religious schools is capacity, which has forced Ohio to fucking cut out the middleman and just plain pay for those religious schools to build new buildings, bigger playgrounds, etc.

Crazy. All of which they repay by, as Heath pointed out earlier, not paying any taxes and giving out whatever fucking education they feel like. Yeah, and incubating fucking sticky little Republicans as they grow. I hate it. I can't order donuts. Absolutely. Yeah.

Pay me more money so I can have less standards is actually what Melania has tattooed on her lower back right there. Sure. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. So read it every time. It's hard not to sound bitter about this story since we've been talking about how slippery

this slope at the bottom was since, you know, Trinity Lutheran when the Supreme Court decided that it was legal to fund private educational institutions like this. Since the beginning of Christianity also in the world. Exactly right. When they were running around Greece making a mess of things. But look, if you're in Ohio, it's important to note your tax dollars are going to religious indoctrination and the systems we had in place to fix it have been broken on purpose for a long, we had in place to fix it have been broken on purpose for a long, long time. And I don't know about you, but I feel like some comfort food. So let's toss things over to our next sponsor this week.

Hello Fresh. Now, this is one of my favorite easy recipes. Aha. Eli, what are you doing in my apartment? Air vents. But that doesn't matter because I can cook now, too. You can. Mm hmm. I sure can't matter because I can cook now too. You can? Mm-hmm. I sure can. Thanks to HelloFresh. What's HelloFresh? Keith, what are you doing here? Oh, Cecil invited me. Oh, because you tricked him? What? No. Oh, you took the identity of someone he actually invited. No, no, I just invited him over. Okay, we'll talk about it later. That

doesn't make any sense. Anyway, with HelloF HelloFresh you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable That's why it's America's number one meal kit Okay, but how does it teach you how to cook because every recipe comes with step-by-step photo instructions HelloFresh helps you learn new cooking techniques while building your recipe book for years to come. Oh, and you actually keep the recipes? I sure do.

Their vegan mushroom pasta with coconut milk is still one of my favorite things to cook. And I, Eli Bosnik, personally make a quadruple batch like what? Once a month? That's why I endorse HelloFresh. I don't know Eli. I hear those meal kits get kind of samey why I endorse HelloFresh. I don't know Eli I hear those meal kits get kind of samey. Not with HelloFresh there's always new flavors to explore with an ever-changing menu of 50 recipes to choose from every single week just pick your meals and your delivery date it's that simple. Okay

sounds pretty good but is there a special offer something like that? How about free breakfast for life? Free breakfast that? How about Free Breakfast for Life? Free Breakfast for Life, you say? Yep! For free breakfast for life, go to HelloFresh.com slash free scathing. One free breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life just by going to HelloFresh.com slash free scathing. Alright.

Eli, that sounds good. So now that I can cook, can I hang out with you guys? No, man. You're covered in dust. Yeah. And apparently your own blood? Yeah, the vents got tight in places. Tight vents. Caliente. And we're back. Next up at Headlines in Headdead Redemption News.

Next up in headlines in Headdead Redemption News, we have a story about the tallest statue of Jesus Christ of Nazareth ever created. And they made the head way too fucking big. So big. It's crazy. I love this thing so much. After years of construction in North Sumatra, the statue made its official debut last week. It's located on top of a hill overlooking Lake Toba, and it is absurd.

It looks like a giant Funko pop. It's so funny. Podcast listener Keith has dropped a picture of this thing in our notes, and Christ looks like he's gearing up to be the savior of Wienerville. It's insane. It looks like Megamind trying to sneak into a Grateful Dead show.

A hundred percent. Yes, absolutely. And a big thanks to Stormy D for sending the link to skatingnews at gmail.com. Stormy D holds the official title for best sender of stories, especially considering the excellent wordplay about each story in the subject line. A prospector. But this time in the subject line, it just said, head too big for body, head is too big. Which was also excellent, just not technically a wordplay.

Also based on the paywall that I encountered when I clicked on that link, Stormy is apparently working with an active subscription to the Jakarta Post. Yeah, huh. Dedication. I believe it. I believe it.

They are a scholar. Pay for your news, that's important. Some of it. Some of it, yeah. So, the new statue stands at 61 meters tall. That's like 200 feet and that is not a coincidence. 183 feet. No, it's like 200 almost exactly, isn't it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's almost exactly 200 feet and 61 meters by the way. Don't interrupt please. Irish American. I said it so confidently that Heath was like,

What's a meter? It's inside my head! As I was saying, Can I do a pull-up? I cannot do a pull-up. I had to do the flexed arm hang, you remember? When you had to do the physical fitness test. Of course, absolutely.

Yeah, I was one of the kids who had to just hang there. I was never going to meet that presidential standard. You have to start at the top, Use your chin and kind of choke yourself. I get one if I jump real high. The only thing I was good at was the flexibility challenge and they were like, oh cool, the weird kid can suck his own dick. This is great. I was pretty good at that one too. I think it's because I have longer arms than you know average for height. Yeah, I suck my own dick so often. What? I, yeah. Compared to my legs and what you said, maybe. Length of arms.

It's all arm length. What were you saying, Heath? You were doing a very important story for our podcast. 61 meters. Speaking of 61 meters tall is the height of the statue, which is like 200 feet. 183 feet. And that amount, that number 61, is not a coincidence for two different reasons. First of all, they clearly wanted the record for tallest Jesus.

So they very intentionally made it bigger than Romania's Heart of Jesus statue and also bigger than Brazil's Christ the Redeemer and Christ the Protector. It's very much a spite Christ just to be the tallest. But also, the 61 meters represent the well-known fact that God created the universe in six days and then rested for one day. So, 61, nailed it. Yeah, and the next guys are going to be like, well, there are seven days in a week and he made zero other days. Let's spin the wheel of random numerical significance everyone! Yeah, that's true. It's weird when they made things after Christ the Redeemer, right?

Because like, whatever else you think about Christ the Redeemer, and there's a lot to say about it, like it is a beautiful piece of statuary, right? It's a cool thing. So the fact that someone was like, ours is bigger, like I feel like Christians should have probably done a huddle and been like, hey, guys, not the thing. Right? Not the thing. Everybody's just like, fuck you. It's like the person who bids one dollar.

It's the opposite. They went even taller. And can I say, Romania is the one dollar price is right. It's the price of the Western world. And you know what? I'm not afraid to say it. Brave. Also, looking at this thing, it seriously looks like someone copied off someone else's work really badly. You know, like looking over their shoulder. Yes, it's AI not stealing Christ the Redeemer. Yeah. Made out of like 61 meters of soap or something.

It's just all right. It's weird looking. And the head's too big. And if you're wondering what Christian leaders are doing with their donation money, it's shit like this. The statue cost five billion rupiah, or about $330,000. I also looked that up, Eli. And before you even ask, no, no, this wasn't part of a money laundering scheme. That's what we heard from Pastor Moses, one of the organizers. He responded to absolutely nobody by telling local journalists this wasn't a money laundering scheme. And then one of those journalists, I'm assuming said something like, okay, well, well now we feel like it's a money

laundering scheme. Why would you just say that? So, Pastor Moses. Unprompted. He explained how they used an extremely reputable auditing team with a ton of expertise in finding dirty money. The auditing team is from the Vatican and they did not find any corruption in the budget for the statue.

Exactly, baby skeletons in the septic tank. Yes. Corruption? Jesus Christ. No, absolutely not. We actually did have this gigantic fat envelope left over just labeled Vatican City Waste Management. Did anybody want to claim that or? No, this is good. Can't believe they cited the Vatican as their source of like, no, no, no, no dirty money. We know it's a Vatican check. cited the Vatican as their source of like, no, no, no, no dirty money. We, we try it.

And speaking of the Vatican, the Bible Christ got a visit from the Pope during his trip to Indonesia earlier this month, and he gave it an official blessing, but the statue wasn't quite ready yet. Whatever the fuck that means, you have to be ready to be blessed. So they had Pope Frankie bless a miniature replica. Did have a big head too. And then last week they placed the mini at the base of the real one for the unveiling ceremony, along with a plaque containing the Pope's favorite sculpture prayer and his signature. So yeah, that's what Christianity has been working on lately.

Their Indonesian chapter made a giant Christ monument to spite Romania and Brazil. And it looks like fucking Cher's kid from that movie, Mass. Jesus Christ. And in, you're gonna need a lot more than compressed air to fix this keyboard news. Last week, CNN released a story on Mark Mark Robinson, the conservative candidate for governor in North Carolina. You might remember Mark Robinson from such hits as yelling that some people need killing as he stood on a church stage or when after the Pulse nightclub shooting he said, quote,

homosexuality is still an abominable sin and I will not join in in celebrating gay pride." End quote. Okay, I mean, some people need killing is sounding better and better as you read quotes from this guy. As I kill. There's one more too. He says, there's another piece too, because when he also wanted to arrest trans people for not using a restroom that is identified with their birth sex.

There's actually too much here to list, so I'm gonna stop there, but he's a real piece of work and a horrible human being. Sure is. Right, and look, regular listeners to all of our shows might say, wait, wait, wait, you mentioned this a little bit over on Skeptocrat this week, but first of all, not with Cecil something Italian we did, and also, so much more crazy stuff has happened

since this weekend, people. We gotta keep up people we gotta keep up We gotta keep up people are lining up to support this fucking guy I know the New York Times New York Times an article about the church that still likes him and it basically starts with a guy getting at the pulpit and going Okay Thank you, thank you, but that CNN article is just delicious. See, Mark used his real name and email address to sign up for a porn forum. That forum, Nude Africa...

Get a different email. They're free. You can get Yahoo, whatever. You can get anyone you want. Get a burner email, dude. Come on. Also look, I understand Mark Robinson isn't a great signifier. There's a lot of Mark Robinson's out there. But seriously, don't associate with the exact same email address. Yeah, I have like, I have like, I've like, porn one through 19. Like, it's so easy. The forum, Nude Africa, has a bunch of Mark's post-nut clarity comments, and they are exactly what you would expect from an anti-trans, super

religious conservative bigot in his own words He's a perv okay. That's like the best thing about him is him saying. I'm a perv like that His most positive one one star right self-effacing perv you recall How he wanted to arrest people who needed to go to the bathroom? But don't ally with his rigid gender norms well in one story story on Nude Africa, left by an older cum covered Mark Robinson, it has a younger Mark Robinson sneaking into a place where he could peep on women showering. There's another comment about how he loves trans people. He loves him so much, he uses a slur that I will not be using here.

Yeah, honestly, at this point, knowing what we know now, his anti-trans stance feels like he's trying to, you know, up the value of his very specific tape collection. Mark happens to be a black guy, but he also has complicated thoughts on his own identity. In one post he says, quote, I am a black Nazi, end quote. And in another he says, quote, slavery is not bad. Some people need to be slaves. It's not bad. It's mad to be slaves No, which they had it's nice. They would bring it back He's talking about slavery and I would certainly buy a few and quote yikes

Okay, but that implies that mark thinks we ended slavery because we thought nobody wanted anymore Yeah, just to review he's a pro slavery Libertarian those are the words next to each other Using using a porn site as a blog. What the fuck is happening? Yeah. Yeah, it's called the invisible hand that blog The Republican Party has not distanced themselves from this guy yet I mean a few staffers quit but he wasn't removed from the ballot. And Donald Trump, you know, is wishy washy. They're saying he might, he might not.

It's not sure as of today whether or not he's going to pull his endorsement. Now I only point this stuff out because he's a gigantic hypocrite. The peeping stuff is gross and so is the racism. Posting on a porn forum isn't really big news for anyone. Okay, I'm still baffled by that. Who the fuck is posting their political hot takes while they're at a porn site? That's insane. And even worse, who the fuck is reading somebody else's political hot takes while they're at

a porn site? What is happening? I don't know, CNN interns. I don't know what you do with your post-nut clarity, Heath, but I want to know what my fellow enjoyers of pornography think about, you know, the situations in Dubai. Everybody's erect or recently erect and halfway down. It's just a weird vibe. You're waiting for that last sbloop to come out and you're like, how does everyone feel?

You got to squeeze from the bottom. Exactly. But while I'm waiting, I'd like to know how everyone feels about the war in Lebanon. I feel like how-to stuff at the end might be fine, but the war in Lebanon feels like a little much. Well, you probably don't come to the war in Lebanon. Okay. Mark here. One of the only places where you can talk about it.

Thank you! Porn sites and telegram. I'm afraid to... Notoriously great free speech places to do that. Absolutely. I'll add you to talk about it. Thank you. Porn sites and telegram. Notoriously great free speech places to do that. Absolutely. I'll add you to my signal group. Mark here is a hypocrite because with every single breath he is vociferously fighting against trans people and he keeps calling literally anything to do with the human body pornography. Mark is a giant fucking liar. He lies to everyone even himself.

And like so many of these outspoken religious conservatives, he wants to bitch constantly about something while at the same time he fucking gorges himself on it. These guys want a world that outlaws everything they want to indulge in. If they can't control themselves, they will reshape our laws so that they can. Never let them lie to you about small government. They want a nanny state and they want to get spanged. Yeah. And if you haven't read the article in the New York Times about the church that's still defending this guy. Yeah. Some of them would definitely like to do it blindfolded. Yeah, big time. And finally tonight in Blast for Me, Blast for You news. What musical is that from? That's from? Also known as? Fiddler on the Roof.

Fiddler. Oh, it's from Fiddler. Yeah. I don't remember that part. Go ahead. Anyways, as you look around the American theocratic landscape, it could be easy to feel hopeless Direct funding of religious schools the overturn of Roe versus Wade It can make you feel helpless and make you wonder what you're fighting for and then You read news from places like Pakistan You remember just how bad it has the potential to get and we were reminded of that again this week when less than a week after being accused of blasphemy for his social media posts, a doctor in Pakistan was accidentally shot by the police in a random shootout.

Random? Did you like spin a wheel and then shoot a guy? What is happening? That sounds a lot like a random TSA screening. It actually sounds like the worst version of Slugbug ever. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So first off, big thanks to Lawrence for sending us this story to scathingnewsatgmail.com.

We can be a little Ameri-centric on this show. And folks like Lawrence who keep our mindset worldwide, thank you. And we hope you're enjoying the Oso Intercontinental Toblerone as reward. Wait, wait, wait. We're doing Toblerones now. Yeah. You guys give out way better gifts than we do at the glory hole. Let me tell you. They're so good. So good. I hurt. I hurt my mouth. Hurt a lot. I ate them too hard and fast because they're so good.

They could make them bar shape, but they don't because you got to earn it. They got to relax it out. No. Put a Toblerone through the wall. And the glory hole. Exactly. All right. So to the story, Dr. Sean was Kabar had gone into hiding on Tuesday after being accused of insulting Islam's Prophet Muhammad and sharing blasphemous content on social media. As a result, Islamists in nearby Umar coat staged a protest demanding his arrest and burned down his clinic. And according to a police report,

just by coincidence, less than a week later, officers in the city of Mipur Kass had tried to stop two men riding on a motorcycle in order to search their vehicle and instead of complying, one of the men opened fire. A gun battle ensued in which Dr. Khunbar was accidentally killed and the cops only learned afterwards that that was the guy they shot. But they can't even keep that lie straight because a different officer from that incident told BBC Urdu that one of the guys from the motorcycle is who had shot Dr. Khunbar. Yeah, I don't fucking know. Lone Road, grassy known. People get shot. Whatever. Something happened.

And this story is actually worse than it sounds because this is the second time this has happened in two weeks. Last week, an officer opened fire inside a police station in the southwestern city of Quetta, fatally wounding another suspect who was being held on accusations of blasphemy. So you know, the big days till we kill the guy we think might have insulted Godcounter didn't quite make it back into double digits this time. Hold on. Are we supposed to count up or down?

I've been counting down. I feel like America solved this problem by adding more guns. What's their hold up? Exactly. You know? Just arm everybody. Now look, these deaths have drawn strong condemnation from the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, or the HRCP, and an independent investigation has been ordered, but there is very little

evidence that anything meaningful will come from this, right? Mob killings over blasphemy accusations are incredibly common in Pakistan and have been for years with very little done about it. Cops joining in the fun is just the next logical step. Either way, this is obviously awful, but it serves as an important warning that things can always get worse. And if you joined us for our reading of the intro to Project 2025 at our fundraiser this past Saturday, you know exactly that's what Republicans plan to do if they win this November. Hey Kevin, are we putting the death penalty for blasphemy in here?

Are we just going to let that materialize on its own? Exactly, yes, correct. Hey, how much did we help raise for the other side when we wrote this stupid piece of shit thing and people made fun of it? How much did we help them? I think it was like $86,000 they raised. $86,000? God, we suck.

I hate us. All right, well on that eventually positive note, we're gonna close it out. Cecil, you wanna do the Jumanji? Okay, sure. Jumanji. Oh, it's a good one. Nice. I like how giddy it was.

It's so fun, Jumanji. And when we come back, we'll be exploring the Bible with the voice of fantasy and adventure, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and also Don Ford. Jumanji. Okay, what about this? Is this my birthday present? No, man. That's your wallet.

So should I open it? It's your wallet. I'm not asking you, Don. I'm asking Cecil if I should open it? It's your Wallet, I'm not asking you Don. I'm asking Cecil if I should open it Why would your wallet be your birthday present? I don't know Why would it buddy? Hey guys is Eli still asking if everything he touches is a birthday present. Yes Oh, hey Don, when'd you get here? Oh, Noah asked me to guard his stash while he's on vacation. Huh. He was worried we were going to steal his drugs? I think he just wanted to see how long I'd keep the balloon of them up my butt.

You know he's gone for like a week, right Don? I did not. No. Anyway, you guys ready for Bible Peace Theater? You mean the part of the show where we act out the Bible so our listeners don't have to read it? I sure not. No. Anyway, you guys ready for Bible Peace Theater? You mean the part of the show where we act out the Bible so our listeners don't have to read it? I sure am. Where were we?

We were on Matthew. Still? Yeah. I mean, the rest of the New Testament is that story four more times. Enjoy it while you can. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. So what's next?

The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus with trick questions? Right the original trap if you will you know What well come on you guys didn't see trap you talking about the M night Shyamalan movie man Yeah, yeah trap you guys didn't see trap stop saying trap. I'm just saying I liked it trap Really, I want to see how it felt. It's good, right? It really is. Oh yeah.

Trap. Trap. Trap. Trap. Trap. Trap. Trap. Trap.

Noah's gonna kill you guys when he gets back. He really is. Trap. Hey Jesus. What's up? So, you know how Moses said we gotta marry our sister-in-law if our brother died? Trap. Hey, Jesus. What's up? So, you know how Moses said we gotta marry our sister-in-law if our brother dies and raise his kids? Oh, like, yeah, totally.

So, what happens if a bunch of brothers die, like one after the other? Which one is their husband in heaven? Oh, silly, there is no marriage in heaven. Nice! Eli, get out of Bible. You're making it weird. Just saying me and Jesus. No, we don't. You're making it weird. Open marriage in heaven, baby.

Clapping cheeks. Not what I said. It's kind of what you said. Okay. Hey, um, Jesus, what's the greatest commandment? Oh my me. Didn't you guys already ask me this question? That was different Pharisees in a different time. Different.

Say we all look the same. Don't get me started. The greatest commandment is thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind. And to be clear that that's that's you. I mean it's anyone who's God but you know second second is love your neighbor as yourself. Huh? So that one's good, right? Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty good. But taking second place to loving you kind of ruins it. I mean, would it help if I told you most apologists say the first part is just there. So you listen to me. I would be not listen to you without the first part? Well, because I didn't tell you that listening to me is the most important thing.

Sorry. The apologetic for Jesus putting himself before loving thy neighbor is so that we'll follow his instructions like a bad fantasy rule. Yeah. Not great. Not great. so that will follow his instructions like a bad fantasy rule. Yeah, not great. Not great. And okay. Yeah, not great.

So now Jesus has a few questions for the Pharisees. Okay, Pharisees, who is Christ's dad? It's David. Who is Christ's dad? It's David! Nay, for he called him Lord. If David called him Lord, how is he his son? Sorry, Keith, what the fuck is Jesus talking about? Yeah, I thought Jesus' dad was Joseph.

Right, yeah. So when Jesus says Christ, he's not talking about himself? I mean, well, he is, but he's using it to mean Messiah there. That's right, because he's Jesus the Christ. Yeah, Jesus the Christ. Exactly. So the better translation is who is the Messiah's dad? But then but then why do they say David? Right. Yeah. So this is the argument the author of Matthew is trying to resolve

among post Jesus Jewish people. Some scholars think that the big Jewish holdouts at the time against Jesus being the Christ were because the Old Testament prophecies said a son of David sits by the right hand of God. And Matthew does what with that? Well, Matthew solves that in two ways. First, we have the genealogy at the beginning proving that Jesus is a son of David via his birthline. And we also have this part where he quibbles with what David means by the Lord said to my Lord.

Got it. So it's like early Christianity's call forward, if you will. More like a beep. Beep is us? Beep is podcast characters, well, unless it beeps twice and then it's us. Then it's us up here. Yeah.

You guys used to write jokes about the pope, right? Yeah, yeah, we used to. So let's see. Jesus yells about how stupid the Pharisees and scribes are for a chapter and says that God is gonna fuck them all up. Oh, and this is where he says all these things shall come upon this generation. And it didn't. So what do Christians do about that? Honestly, nothing.

Okay, what about dishonestly? Yeah, good question. Not much. I guess the most popular apologetic for this part is that he's referring to a future generation. Like you guys are awful and you killed all your prophets, so one day God is going to come and kill you all. And when he does, he'll do it in a generation. So he's offering like a timeline.

I mean, they're lying. So no, but that's what they say. Lame. Yeah, super lame. So now he's going to rhapsodize to his disciples about the end of the world. Hey, Jesus, what's the matter? Oh, nothing, guys. You see all those temples?

Sure, Jesus. Well, they're going to fall someday. What's the matter? Oh, nothing guys. You see all those temples? Sure, Jesus. Well, they're going to fall someday. There are going to be wars and famine and false prophets. It's going to be like, you know, super lame or whatever. Oh, that sucks. Can you, um, like, not do that? Feels like you'd be in control.

No, but look, this is important. There are going to be so many false Christs. Oh, wow. Like so many. I mean, if they tell you he's on a mountain, don't go to the mountain. If they say he's in the desert, do not go to the desert. I'm a little green eggs and hammy right now.

Yeah. But then just as lightning comes from the West and goes to the East, does it? Is that the son of man shall come at last. You will know because wherever there's a dead body, eagles will gather. Sorry. Did you say eagles will gather. Sorry. Did you say eagles? Eagles.

Like the birds? Eagles. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. Just the first sign of your return will be all the bodies will have eagles. Yeah, a fuck ton of eagles.

That's right. Okay. Okay. Are they going to be at the graveyards or are they like underground? You guys gotta let this go. I'm just starting. Okay. Right. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. Continue. Just break down eagles then. That is weird. Okay. The sun will darken. The moon will stop giving light and the stars will fall from the heavens. It feels like that prediction might get more metaphorical the better we get at science.

Then, then my sign shall appear in the sky. Like the bat signal? Yes, like the bat signal. And then I shall come down from heaven preceded by angels. I shall gather all of my favorite little people from the four winds. Again, I want to be super clear. This generation shall not pass till all these things be fulfilled. Kind of fucking up piece apologetic from the last beep there. It's not mine. It's not. I was just explaining and and they're going to be podcasters.

I'm sorry. Podcasters. Yeah, they're going to like point out that I haven't been there for like 2000 years or whatever. Make little cool sketches of my super cool book, but then I'm gonna show up and cut him in half like a snake. And they will wail and they will gnash their teeth. Boop. Wait, did Jesus really predict podcasters? I mean, he said he'd be universally mocked, so.

Yeah, no, I get it, that's close enough. Hey, where's the rapture? Oh yeah. Oh, the rapture is not in the Bible. What are you talking about? Of course it's in the Bible. No, it's not. People don't start talking about the rapture as we know it until like 1830. I'm sorry, Cecil.

1830? Yeah. I mean, people like to pretend these passages where Jesus gathers all his faithful servants is the rapture, but there's no indication anyone is gonna get rapture. It's just like a gathering of the righteous. So no like leaving clothes behind? No, sadly no leaving clothes behind. But they've made so many movies about this.

Yeah, the movies are lying. Well, I get, I mean, yes. Fuck, 1830. So, Jesus, um, what's it going to be like in heaven? Imagine a bridegroom and seven brides. Oh, girls, I can't wait to be married. Oh me as well. Oh of course.

Did you girls bring your lamps so your husband can come get you if you know what I mean? We five did. Indeed we did, but here comes one of the five who forgot her oil. Hey girls, what's shaking? Oh shit, here she is. Hey, hey, um, you know, just doing... Fried stuff. Fried stuff she is. Hey, hey, you know, just doing fried stuff. Fried stuff, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sounds fucking great.

Look, I forgot my oil. I was worried I'd have to go buy some, and I'm gonna miss the little engine that choked. So can I fucking borrow some of your fucking oil? No, we actually need it for our lamps, you see. Fuck you! Give me some of your fucking oil! I'm pregnant! You're not pregnant.

We are virgins in the story. I said I'm pregnant! Give me some oil! No, no, you can't have any of my oil. Fine! Fuck all you guys! I'm gonna break into Boston Market and see if there's any fucking oil there! Does Boston Market have oil?

I mean, for their sake, I hope they do. So, that night when the brides without the oil come to the house, they knocked on the door. Honey, open the door. It's us five of your other brides. You better wash that thing before I bounce it. I don't want to taste anybody else's vajoo, if you know what I mean. Actually, I'm fine with the five brides in here. So yeah, you can just you just take off

You sure you sure cuz I'm like a catcher's mitt filled with banana pudding down deeply deeply certain of what I said You can take off knock it! uh Jesus how is that like heaven? okay do you guys need another doodly-doo because i'll do it right now i mean i mean you could just explain the thing we just okay fine yeah fine another doodly-doo there we go doodly-doo Servants, I am leaving for a long time. First servant, I give you five gold. Servant two, you get two gold. And my third, I give you just one piece of gold.

See ya! Okay, do you have like further instructions about what you want us to do? Oh, Eddie, walk it away! Okay. Servants, I have returned. What did you do with my gold? Well, Master, I turned your gold from five into ten pieces. Excellent, you've done great things. You shall be in charge of many things from now on.

Wow, that's great. Master, I turned your two gold into four gold. Excellent. You did some stuff. You'll be in charge of some things. What? I doubled my money. I did exactly as well as he did. No, he made five gold. Because you gave him five gold. Yeah. Neither here no there.

You only got two gold. Like I said, you did. Okay. What about you over there? Okay. Well, you didn't give me any instructions. So I just buried the gold, but I kept it safe. Here you go.

What you lost my gold. You should have invested this in the stock market. Wait, what? Yes. And for not wisely investing your gold, I shall throw you out into the darkness. And they're going to be wailing and gnashing of teeth? Gnashing of teeth.

This guy gets it. Sorry, Jesus, how is that like, Kevin? You know, you reap what you sow or something based on what you start out with no just right just just everyone goes with heaven but then why did the servants start with different amounts what's that metaphor yeah and why did one guy get punished for not making money okay look you guys do you want to sell these cutco knives or not? I mean, what's the alternative? Christianity.

Yeah, yeah, I'll sell some cutco knives. I'll do the scissors. Can you teach me to do the corkscrew thing with the penny, though? I feel like people have corkscrews, man. It's a sales tactic. And on that literal note, we'll close things out, but we'll be back next month with even more Bible Peace Theater. And that's all the blasts for me we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,022

minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Monday, an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend God of Movies, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Big thanks to Cecil, big thanks to Don Ford, voice of fantasy and adventure, big thanks to Eli, and of course to all the Patreon donors, new and old. The new ones will be applauded, all, next time around. If you're feeling

financially benevolent like those fine people, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com scathing atheist. That'll get you early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also make a one time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. If you don't have the money for giving away money, we get it. You can also help a ton by leaving us a five star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us. And our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music used in this episode,

which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com. Okay, in my head, it's a snivel. It's like a... Yeah, it's Cecil's Ted Cruz. Yes. But it's a little deeper. It's a snivel. It's like a, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's Cecil's Ted Cruz. Yes. But it's a little deeper. It's a little deeper. You want to do a JD Vance? Cecil, you want to bring us some JD Vance?

Bring us the JD Vance. Sure. All right. Farnsworth quote from Cecil as JD Vance. And finally tonight in Blast for Me, Blast for You News. What musical is that from? That is from... Also known as... Fiddler on the Roof. Fiddler. Oh, it's from Fiddler.

I don't remember that part. Go ahead. So, Anti-Sammites... Is the theme of this Headlights segment, if you don't cut it. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and the Thunderstorm LLC copyright Don't make a bet. Just invest with confidence in your SEDIS. It's a smart and simplified location. Address more at globalx.ca. Globalx.

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