The Scathing Atheist - ScathingAtheist 124: Putting the Gay in Galatians Edition

Episode Date: July 2, 2015

In this week's episode, despite promises from the pulpit, Christianity continues to exist post-marriage equality; Clarence Thomas assures us that American slavery was dignified and humane; and Lucinda joins us to regret thinking that the epistles couldn't get more boring after Corinthians.

Warning, if you don't want to hear explicit language, it's not too late to turn this motherfucker off. Okay, well, now it is. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the new Self-Immolation Center for Christians, Hotstone Crematory Personal Brimstone Retailers. Promise to martyr yourself in a blaze of righteous glory if the gays were allowed to steal your word right before they stole your word? Have you since realized it's harder than you thought to just burst into flames? Are the lines way too long at your local gas stations? Don't worry, we've got you covered in a wide variety of flammable liquids. Hot stone crematory, because fire suicide

probably gets you into heaven and now the skating atheist from wild wyoming where it's okay to carry guns in schools where we drive to colorado to get our weed we're cowboys say excuse me ma'am before they rape you here's the crew from the waiting for wrath podcast trying to record a farnsworth quote we don't know what to say oh it's my turn filthy monkey man and women yay vaginas the Farnsworth quote. We don't know what to say. Oh, it's my turn? Filthy monkey men. And women. Yay! Vaginas.

Hey, if that didn't get them listening, nothing will. And we want to let everybody know that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men. And women. It's Thursday. It's July 2nd. And Hope Solo can domestically assault me as much as she wants.

And I'll be Alex Morgan's Janae. But until then, I'm no illusions. I'm Heath Enright. And from Yippee-ki-yay sister fucker Valdosta, Georgia, this is The Skating Atheist. On this week's episode, despite promises from the pulpit, Christianity continues to exist post-marriage equality. Clarence Thomas assures us that American slavery was both dignified and humane. And Lucinda joins us to regret thinking the epistles couldn't possibly get more boring after Corinthians.

But first, the diatribe. I have always wanted to start a diatribe like this. All right, here we go. Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today. That and watching Klingenschmitt and P-Robes completely lose their shit. It has been a fun weekend, hasn't it? I have a Facebook profile under my real name, but I almost never go over it.

There's just too damn many religious bigots in my family, and it's all but impossible to scroll by some of this shit without formally disowning them. But this weekend, you can bet your ass I checked it out, and I reveled in their fever pitch of collective terror. The Gazers coming for them, yo! Already done took their bigot flag and now they coming for their wedding vows.

A hundred of my relatives angrily pounding at their keyboards while breathing into paper bags, tossing out predictions that would embarrass Chicken Little, frantically clutching their Bibles while lamenting the final nail in the coffin of civilization. Completely, utterly, and absolutely freaking

the fuck out. And I was happy to see that, but that is not why I was celebrating last weekend. Hell, before the weekend even officially started, I got invited to my first gay wedding. The couple that Lucinda was rooming with when I actually met her are the only friends that we have that have been in a relationship longer than we have. They called us Friday happier than I have ever seen them in the 20 years I've, well, we did a lot of ecstasy together back in the day. So let's just say happiest I've heard them in a long time. So anyway, we got invited. I volunteered for maid of honor duties. My wife's pretty much a shoe in for best man. So it could be a lot of fun, but to be perfectly honest,

that's not really why I was celebrating this weekend either. You know, probably should be, but it isn't. I'm going to have plenty of time to celebrate with them when they actually tie the knot. No, this weekend, I was just celebrating the fact that we've wrestled yet another piece of our culture back out of the hands of a church that only had it because they stole it in the first place. We have liberated marriage despite their centuries long effort to bolt it to the floor of their church. And right now, sure, they're still out there impotently waving their Bibles and screaming about the wrath of God and the impending brimstone the Supreme Court has condemned us to, but pretty soon, they're just going to be back home licking their wounds

and gearing up for the next inevitable step towards egalitarianism that they can ineffectually oppose. Because, look, I mean, ultimately, this is a fairly small step. You know, I know it would seem a hell of a lot bigger to me if I'd been waiting for decades to walk down the aisle with the person I love, but one way or the other, we certainly didn't win the war on Friday. You know, the couple that invited us to their wedding, for example, they were ecstatic, but they were still weighing their decision to get married

against the problems that could arise from making their gayness a matter of public record. You know, because in the state of Georgia, it's still legal to fire somebody for being gay. It's legal to discriminate against gays in all kinds of ways here. And while we're on the subject, it seems like the L, the G, and the B are outpacing the T a bit of late, and all these derogatory bathroom bounty laws and shit have yet to be adjudicated. So yeah, there's a lot to celebrate, but we're still in embarrassing ways from equality. And it's downright shameful how slowly we're moving.

We should kind of do this all at once, shouldn't we? But look look for those of us that are going to be basically unaffected by the legality of gay marriage this is still a damn significant symbolic step because look what really happened here you know christianity basically gave this one everything they had they passed laws they passed amendments to state constitutions they poured money into ballot initiatives they bought politicians they bought bureaucrats. They bought judges. They spoke with a damn near unified voice. They made threats. They filed lawsuits. They screamed from every microphone and pulpit that they had, and they lost. They employed every scrap of social influence at their disposal, and they could not

move the needle. They drew their line in the sand. We crossed it, and they had no choice but to retreat. Think about it. The last time they dug in their heels this deep, we had to fight a war that cost more than half a million American lives. This time, we just pushed them over. You know, we've seen this shift coming for years, of course, but we've always had to temper the demographics by reminding ourselves that the nuns aren't atheists. You know, when we see these radical increases in the non-religious, we say, yeah, but those spiritual but non-religious fuckers, they're not on the right track exactly. They're still really annoying.

But for religion to lose its power, we don't need a huge number of atheists necessarily. People who believe in some ill-defined, semi-tangible, pseudo-pantheistic, Akashic connection nonsense, they can't be rallied from the pulpit. You know, sure, they'll fuck up laws about the regulation of herbal supplements or something, but the anti-abortion, anti-contraception, anti-gay, anti-progress platform of the church is fatally ill, and the gay marriage decision last week was the x-ray that revealed the tumor. And it isn't just me that sees it that way, by the way. The Christians see that too, and that's what they're freaking out about. Look, as many others have pointed out before me, if this was really about the biblical definition of marriage, they'd be way more pissed off about divorce and people marrying foreigners. So clearly this isn't motivated by their devotion to the literal word of the Bible.

All of their efforts against marriage equality have been entirely motivated by bigotry, but their lamentations now are about a lot more. You know, yes, they are saddened by the fact that those damn Sodermites get to eat cakes like normal people and stuff, but they've got a lot more to bemoan than that. Without their ability to affect social change, the church is nothing. Without their ability to author social norms, they're basically a book club for Alzheimer's patients. They're the fucking Rotary Club. They're a bunch of bitter old men yelling about how much better the marriage was back in their day. And I will drink to that. They're talking about your Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight is well-rested and well-bageled Heath Enright.

Heath, are you ready to settle back into the unsweet toasted bread donuts here in Georgia? Good enough while you were there. It was nice to order a bagel without getting responses like, I've seen a Jew bread once. Checking back. No, no, we don't have that at all. Of course not. In our lead story tonight, Rick Scarborough hasn't set himself on fire.

Huh. Now, in defense of Rick Scarborough, and if you bought those five words in the things least likely to ever be uttered by Noah, pull you lose, by the way. But to be fair to the only borough less impressive than Staten Island, despite numerous headlines to the contrary, the Texas pastor never actually said he would self-immolate if the Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage. It's pretty close to what he said. Turns out, though, that you have to exercise the same kind of caution when you consume raw story as you do when you consume raw meat. What he actually said was that he would be willing to burn to death

in his opposition to gay marriage. The words that he chose, as we pointed out last week, because there's absolutely no chance in fucking hell that that would ever be a possibility of a thing that would happen. Well, I think the situation's a little more realistic than he thinks. I bet there's millions of gay Americans that would happily cancel their upcoming wedding if Rick Scarborough lights himself on fire instead. Happily.

Every day he spends not engulfed in flames. That's another day of gay enabling. That's on you, Rick Scarborough. I like it. Balls in your court. I like it. I will contact the gays and see what we can do. Of course, the fact that the misinterpretations of those words were so widely disseminated meant that Scarborough spent the majority of his weekend fielding emails and calls from reporters wondering if and when he planned to set himself alight.

Let us know if there's going to be a press conference. Yeah, right. We'll have HD there and everything. YouTube will show up. Now, in my mind, that's at least the second best result of gay marriage and will likely remain so until Steve Anderson gets so angry that he literally rips his own face off during a sermon. Can't be far off. Skirber repeatedly shrugged off the comments about his willingness to burn in opposition to gay marriage with the excuse, apparently, that he was paraphrasing a hymnal about an apocryphal book in the Old Testament. You know, like, you know.

It's like a white person dropping a bunch of hard ends during a rap song exactly yeah yeah i didn't literally mean that i quote never hesitate to put an n-word on his back that's great in real life i hesitate of course of course i just got carried away with the hymnal that's all i was i was really into the hymnal. That must have been it. Now, Scarborough's failure to turn into a flamer isn't the only dire prediction that failed to come true in the wake of the Supreme Court decision, of course, despite numerous claims to the contrary. No pastors

have yet been arrested for a failure to buttfuck. No asteroids have wiped out multicellular life on Earth. Nobody has successfully married a goat and or a grandfather clock. No Christians have yet been fed to lions. And most disappointingly, none of the bigots have refugee their asses to Costa Rica yet. So apparently they're waiting for us to abort a few more fetuses or something.

So we got to be close because we've been working on that. Right. And from the SCOTUS wedding response file tonight, as crazy and voluminous as homophobic meltdowns were this week, two people in particular managed to stand out above the rest. And considering the insane level of competition during which they managed to do that, I think they deserve specific mention right here today. So congratulations to right-wing watch perennial muse Brian Fisher of the Focal Point radio show and also to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of the log building where he entertains nieces and nephews, I would imagine, based on his dissenting opinion. Whose

response would you like to hear first? Alright, so look, if you'd asked me beforehand to pick the two people that would make the most indefensibly stupid statements about gay marriage in the aftermath of this decision, Brian Fisher would have been top of my list. Or he would have been right up there with P-Robes and Dr. Chaps. So yeah, of course he said something batshit crazy or a lot of things batshit crazy as it turns out. as it turns out, but a Supreme Court justice has managed to edge out P-Robes, Chaps, Pastor Manning, Rick Scarborough, Dickie Sands, Glenn Beck, Tony Perkins, The Hucks, Rush, Sandy Rios, and Steve Anderson to make it to the top of this fucking list. Easily, too.

Definitely let that one percolate for a second. Give me beefish. All right. Good choice to start. So get ready for the elusive quadruple meaningless hyperbolic comparison that does not, does not invoke the Holocaust. It's a very rare

maneuver. According to B Fish, quote, 626 is the new 9-11. Because it was on this day that five justices of the United States Supreme Court became moral jihadists. Moral supreme court became moral jihadists moral jihadists we are now serfs on a plantation that's being run by cultural elites who wear black robes and use

the gavels like the slaveholders of old used to use their whips. What? End quote. At which point, he still wasn't sure if he'd made his point firmly enough yet with, you know, just the 9-11 and slavery stuff. So he added a reference to Sodom and Gomorrah

and, of course, the obvious parallel between gay marriage and the attack on Pearl Harbor. Clearly. Nothing about the main... The point was made after that.

No, okay, wait. Let's go back to this whip gavel. Okay, so is he saying that Anthony Kennedy beat a black man with his gavel? Or is he saying that plantation owners mostly use their whips to symbolically close judicial proceedings? Either way. I get all the other stuff. All right.

The other stuff makes sense to me. The Twin Towers went down on 9-11. A lot of happy gay people went down on 6-26. Okay, so I get where he's going there. Sodom and Gomorrah were flamers. During Pearl Harbor, the Japanese snuck in through the back door. So I get all of that stuff. I just don't understand

where he's going with the gavel reference. I think it's a matter of where you grip it. Weight ratios, that sort of thing. Anyway, moving on to Justice Thomas. First quick background information for you. Clarence Thomas is an African-American person. Now normally that wouldn't be relevant, right?

But considering the direction he ends up taking with his dissenting argument might be worth keeping in mind. Clarence Thomas is an African-American person. With that knowledge, Thomas thinks the new ruling granted dignity to gay people. So far, so good. But that's problematic to him, the dignity for the gay people, because dignity is none of society's business. God gave everyone dignity back when he wrote the Declaration of Independence, and that included gays and slaves. So all this equality stuff that's been happening ever since, that's government overreach. According to the only black person on the nation's highest court, quote, slaves did

not lose their dignity any more than they lost their humanity because the government allowed them to be enslaved, end quote. Wait, what? And that weird noise you heard, that was Thurgood Marshall throwing up in his mouth a little bit. Right? Okay, okay, okay. If the Supreme Court can't take away a person's dignity, then Clarence Thomas would still

have dignity after he said that. Wouldn't he? Yeah. So, kind of disproves his own argument just by being able to formulate the fucking sentence. And then I'm surprised they haven't taken the Homa out of their name yet news tonight. The Oklahoma Supreme Court figured since all the Christians in their state were hiding in their gay marriage emergency bunkers, this would be an ideal time to unveil a decision

to remove the much maligned Ten Commandments monument from the Capitol grounds. This long overdue decision should bring a close to the protracted debate about whether the Establishment Clause still counts if you're a Baptist, though it does create some new questions, most notably, what the Satanic Temple is now going to do with that kick-ass goat man on a throne statue. Great question. Got a big front yard here. I'm just saying, if you need somewhere to store it. And if you don't send it to us, looks like South Carolina's government buildings might be adding a few front lawn adornments at some point, whether they like it or not. To look at, of course, the fact that this is a constitutional no-brainer didn't dissuade local Christians from losing their fucking shit over it,

nor did the fact that even a judicial body as overwhelmingly conservative as the Oklahoma Supreme Court decided this one by a 7-2 margin. Half a dozen state lawmakers went so far as to call for judicial reform and the impeachment of those seven justices that made up this majority. Yes, just leave the other two. Now, mimicking a line he'd already memorized for the gay marriage thing, State Representative Kevin Calvey described the justices as quote, nothing more than politicians in black robes masquerading as objective jurists, end quote. Well, I'm pretty sure Oklahoma already tried having dudes with white robes holding power.

And the results were historically, I'd say, suboptimal. We'll call it suboptimal. At least. With the white robe guys. Now, setting aside the thing that he was disparagingly comparing the Supreme Court justices to as the thing that he is, the politician Calvi does get credit for coming to the table with some solutions here. So in an effort to ameliorate this problem, he and his cohorts are recommending making a Supreme Court justice an elected position rather than an appointed one so that they can stop being politicians. That'll solve that problem. And in Saved by the Bellum news tonight,

white Christian conservatives in South Carolina cannot catch a break this week. Can't buy a bucket. It's not working out for them. First, they find out the lower middle class is allowed to continue their attempt to get medical coverage. Awful. Those bastards. Awful. And a bunch of people with similar crotch areas get marriage rights. Terrible again.

And as if that wasn't enough, they host one little church massacre perpetrated by a white supremacist. And now all these uppity survivors are trying to take away everybody's God-given right to have Confederate flags prominently displayed on public land. So, it's a good thing the apocalypse is finally happening and nothing matters, because they'd be really mad about all this stuff. There's a silver lining for you guys. I gotta say, any, it's kind of off-subject, but any Christian zealot who refers to the rapture as a tribulation is under the mistaken belief that there's an amount of demons and flesh burning that would be worse than having you guys around.

So even if we ignore for a moment that the Confederate flag is a symbol of an attempted slavery-based Christian theocracy, let's ignore that for a second. They lost the war about that, right? Right. Why would we display the Confederate flag on union government property? What does the losing team get their flags flown by the winning team? It'd be like England flying swastika flags at Buckingham Palace reminding everybody how the Nazis got the silver medal in World War II. Cultural heritage.

Yeah, 1984 means 1384 news tonight. Software developers Mosch Greenspan and Thorlist decided that pastors and priests weren't intrusive and creepy enough, so they set out to fix that problem with a new application that will allow church leaders to forego the cumbersome task of actually recognizing or paying attention to their parishioners. They have achieved this breakthrough with facial recognition technology that will allow churches to digitally track who is and isn't showing up for service on Sunday, which marks the first time that somebody actually will be watching churchgoers from above, so at least there's that.

Well, this is great that they're doing it voluntarily, I've got to say. Putting the secret ones in every American mosque, that was like a whole big thing. This is so much. It's going to save us a bunch of time when we round up all the religious people for the internment camps. And we were just about to do this. This actually works out perfectly. It's a lot of fucking money. Don't tell anybody, but we'll do that in a second.

out perfectly. That's a lot of fucking money. Don't tell anybody, but we'll do that in a second. The software is called Churchix, I guess, because apparently a name that sounds like something between a medieval bleach brand and the kind of vaginal fungus you get from fucking on dingy pews is good for marketing. It should be useful. Imagine if some sort of alarm go off, somebody tries to smuggle in a Jew or an atheist and steal a cookie or bring in John Travolta without his Nick Cage skin mask or whatever

techniques you have to get around it. I don't know. Ed from the Anal P-Robes file tonight. Host of the 700 Club and guy who looks like Colonel Sanders after a month of aggressive leukemia treatment, Pat Robertson, offered his advice on how to deal with witches and warlocks on an episode of his show last week. We're never going to run out of funny ways to describe what that guy looks like. It's never going to happen. Got a little bit of Colonel Sanders.

Looks like Melty. So when a Christian mother called in to ask about how to handle her Wiccan neighbors, his advice went something like this. Best plan is to ostracize the evil family completely and instruct your children to organize similar bigoted behavior at school to shun their Satan spawn kids.

That way, they'll be less likely to destroy your family using demons, which, by the way, is what they do if you're friendly. So that solves the whole thing. You better piss him off. And I love where he goes at first because he catches himself just short of recommending genocide because when he says this short of recommending genocide, because when he says this, he's going, well, if you look at what the Old Testament says about those people, which

by the way, is the least promising way for a sentence to start. Of all the ways a sentence can fucking start. But anyway, so he says that, and then he pauses, because he probably remembers, oh shit, the Old Testament says to indiscriminately murder those people, and my lawyers keep telling me not to say the murder stuff,

so I've got to come up with something else. So he putters for a second, and then he talks about not letting their sons marry your daughters or whatever. Good save. Yeah, right? So Marion Gordon, a.k.a. Pat, that's his name, by the way, Marion Gordon Robertson, starts out with a warning about the white witches being just as evil as the black ones.

What planet does this fucking guy live on? I have no idea. Point being, I guess, you know, you don't want to get fooled by healing spells and soprano-registered duets that help the protagonist. That's just a ruse. They're all evil. They're all evil.

They added the following. Quote, It's all demonic, and you don't want your children involved in that stuff i mean they have power don't think it's not real it is real but it's real wrong sick they may seem to be very pleasant people and all that but they'll destroy your children. Will they really? So, honestly, I gotta say, I was a little disappointed with the battle plan from P-Robes on this one. I figured he'd have this woman, like, taking out proton packs, crossing streams, going nuts.

Right. P-Robes going a little soft. Yeah, no shit, dude. Back in the 1400s, when he was still kind of old, he'd have gone all Malleus Maleficorum on him, and now he's settling for a late scorning? So depressing to watch your heroes decline. So as we lament the fact that P. Robes' edge is as long gone as his collagen and his telomeres, we'll hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda.

A man wrote the Bible? A whore is what she was. If it's a legitimate race. You're a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey! I'm proud of a man! This Week in Misogyny. I've got to say, it's almost like the Supreme Court is trying to tempt Texas into seceding.

And if that's the plan, I'm behind it all the way. I mean, obviously the marriage equality thing has them up in arms. But then you have the Confederate flagship, the Ten Commandments monument, the Obamacare decision, the Pope going green, and all of a sudden I can see this Jade Helm thing turning into an actual military operation, regardless of what they had in mind to begin with. And then add to all of that a much less lauded decision that trickled out of this on Monday while many of us were still busy rainbowing our avatars. A two paragraph order from the nation's highest court stayed the execution of Texas abortion clinics by temporarily

halting an order that essentially demanded every clinic that performed the relatively simple task of terminating a pregnancy carry all the necessary equipment to perform trans species brain transplants and dinosaur cloning. This is a temporary injunction rather than a decision,

but it doesn't bode well for the people hanging their 10-gallon hats on this anti-abortion tactic. But for a model of how to get it done, Texas might want to look to Ohio. Now there's a state doing a spectacular job of impeding on their citizens' constitutionally protected bodily autonomy without getting the SCOTUS involved. The first trick is to do everything in slow enough steps that no one move seems all that radical. And the second trick is to hide it all so deep in budget bills that it's almost impossible to summarize what's going on within the restrictive limits of average American attention span. And finally tonight, an unnamed person who may or may not be a pregnant woman

is offering to halt her scheduled abortion for the sum of one million dollars her challenge is laid out on the website pro-life anti-woman.com and what she calls an effort to show that anti-abortion activists are far more concerned with oppressing women than saving fetuses she's calling on the 127 million anti-abortion americans to donate about four-fifths of a cent each to save her dead zygote walking. And I don't know that this really proves anything, except the anti-abortion people can very easily be worked into a Twitter fit. I particularly like the bitch that said, she is holding a gun to her dear baby's head.

And it's ridiculous bullshit, sure, but it got me thinking. head. And it's ridiculous bullshit, sure, but it got me thinking. See, if you could develop a morning after gun instead of a pill, at least some number of conservative Christians would have a Second Amendment based existential meltdown. And that would be fun.

Alright, that's all the abortion talk for now, but once again this week I'd like to close with a little advice for effectively complaining about this segment of the show. If the best argument you have to offer is such-and-such can't be sexist because I do it, expect my opinion of such-and-such to remain unmoved. And with that, I'll hand things back over to Noah and Heath. Thank you, Lucinda.

And in Wicca, where do we go, George News tonight, the handmade useless shit-shopping site Etsy unveiled a new policy last month that has the metaphysical community outraged. As of July 2015, the site will no longer allow the sales of imaginary bullshit like magic spells and enchanted amulets. And, depressingly enough, that decision was not made because conning people out of money for imaginary shit that doesn't exist is illegal. Because it's not, for some fucking reason.

The Supreme Court's slowly chipping away, but no, religion is not illegal yet. The fraud as a whole is not illegal. I've heard different this week. But I do like where Etsy's going with it. The Bible should definitely require at least a novelty purposes only sticker at this point or something.

At the very least. You're going to sell that much bullshit, serious consequences. So, neopagans, wiccans, and other religions with tits in them complain that this policy is prejudiced against their form of faith, though officials with the site are quick to point out

that selling really potent prayers or indulgences would also be banned by the move. It's also worth noting that Etsy's policy already forbade the sale of a service that doesn't result in a tangible item. In other words, the massage has to have a happy ending, and then they have to give it to you in a cup or something.

So to circumvent this policy, I think that's what it means. A number of the online charlatans that would cast spells and shit, what they would do to get around this is that they would take a photograph of themselves casting a spell so that technically a tangible item was changing hands. So all that's really happened is they've closed that loophole. Although I'm guessing a bunch of the affected sellers are already working on new product offerings. It's going to mess with it. Yeah, right. We're going to be seeing magical derivative instruments, hex default swabs, collateralized prayer obligations, a bunch of bullshit like that, I'm sure.

So the market should stabilize just fine. I wouldn't worry about it. I think you're overestimating the intelligence of the neo-pagan community. Anyway, an online petition from people who think that magic is real and organic soap is happier seeks to reverse Etsy's decision and already has more than 40,000 signatures because apparently the fact that the people who are making these decisions haven't been turned into nudes yet doesn't settle the issue for anybody. Now, Etsy said in a press release that they value the metaphysical community's contribution to their website,

but they prefer to offer their customers useful products like designer cutting boards, faux wooden mouse cozies, and personalized toy boxes for dogs. That's the first three fucking things I saw. Their fucking trending items looks like the wall at Chili's. Site is ridiculous. And in American history, X-axis news tonight. Pope Franti Semite gave an interesting version of a World War II history lesson last week while speaking before a crowd of people in Turin, Italy.

Dan Carlin, he ain't. Quick pressure. Italy was one of the bad guys in that war. Yes, and decidedly so, yes. So was Vatican City, very clearly. Especially after they realized that using church powers to help smuggle Nazis to South America after the war was definitely the right thing to do. Did a bunch of that.

Well, Pope decided to ignore all that stuff and instead focused his remarks on blaming the Allied powers for not preventing the Holocaust by acting sooner, which is actually kind of a valid complaint. Sure, yeah. Probably not meant to come from the new leader of one of the bad guys, though. There's a reason you don't hear this from Angela Merkel, either. She's not broaching the subject. Look, it would have been worse if Benedict had done it, sure. You know, this guy wasn't part of the Hitler Youth,

but he's still the guy representing the international cabal that was decidedly pro-Hitler and hails from the country where they stashed all their used Nazis after the war. Probably best to just avoid this topic until somebody else brings it up at the very least. Why bring it up? So again, the appeasement of Nazi Germany by the rest of the world, certainly terrible, and all the other genocides that have ever happened, terrible as well, absolutely. Terrible. And all the other genocides that have ever happened. Terrible as well, absolutely. But regardless, the guy from Poquito, Berlin, Argentina, who now runs Vatican City, doesn't get to complain about the good guys from World War II being too slow until he does a whole bunch of official apologizing first.

Yes. And also pays a bunch of reparations using the Scrooge McDuck vault of Nazi gold I'm sure he has in his basement. Yes. Oh, shit. A little of that's got to get broken out. And speaking of which, in Beliving It Up news tonight, according to a Bolivian cultural minister in the know, Pope Frank Costello has requested

some coca leaves to chew on when he visits that nation's capital this month. Drugs. What's the point of having a big vault of gold if you don't also develop a coke habit, I guess? Obviously. Now, I guess the leaves are commonly chewed by visitors who are either trying to counteract the effects of La Paz's extreme altitude

or simply amazed that they can do cocaine orally without getting arrested. And while the government offered Pope Framfetamine a coke of tea, he said he'd much rather do his shit raw like a gangsta goat. I love that he's calling ahead to the government as if he doesn't clearly have a cocaine guy in Bolivia already. Yeah, right. Come on. Now, there are plenty of areas where the Pope and I are in disagreement. You know, birth control, LGBT equality, demonic possession, fashion, the whole Jesus thing that he does.

But I'd still do a line with the dude. You know, I'm not prejudiced. Of course, I feel like the fact that the first Latin American Pope is planning on doing coke while he's in office is probably reinforcing a negative stereotype. But that would all be worth it for a chance to watch a 78-year-old dude in a dress that thinks he's magical geeking out and ordering the Swiss guard to check the roof of the next door building for ninjas or whatever. Who was it? It's just the Secret Service. They're fucking some coke whores over there. Don't worry.

No, we invited them. Yeah, right, right. Do they have a son? And also, as much as the NSA's overreach pisses me off, I would probably be willing to forgive them for the whole domestic spying shit if they would just release this recording of this particular conversation between the Pope and the Bolivian minister

where this happens. I'm just picturing the Pope and he's like, I sure would like to, you know, go skiing while I'm there. Some of that white powdery snow you guys have on those Bolivian mountainsides, you know? If you know what I mean. Hint, hint. Wink, wink. Sniff, sniff. Say no more. Andy's mountains drugs. Yeah. And finally today.

Subtle. Well done. From the Freudian slip service file. In a surprise format change, CNN devoted an entire segment of news coverage to a large flag with images of dildos and butt plugs last weekend. Really happened. Weird format change. After it was mistaken for an ISIS flag by network reporter Lucy Paul as she walked past a gay pride parade in London. Fucking Paul. Paul as she walked past a gay pride parade in London. Fucking Paul.

Apparently, she notified the event organizers when she saw this and the police, but everyone was a little too polite to explain to her that she was looking at a bunch of dicks before she called her boss at CNN with the breaking story that they ran. The only defense I can come up with for her is that the ISIS flag should be a bunch of dildos and butt plugs, but yeah, fucking hilarious. So, as far as I could tell, Ms. Paul managed to confuse the penis shapes with Arabic writing. But then, despite looking more closely

and realizing it was neither Arabic nor even writing, she decided this was still useful news somehow, and they kept running with the story anyway. According to the reporter from a major news network, allegedly, quote, if you look at the flag closely, it's clearly not Arabic. In fact, it looks like it could be gobbledygook, but it's very distinctively the ISIS flag, end quote. So in summary, from the journalist,

might be gobbledygook, definitely is an ISIS flag, definitely not, definitely not a phallus collage on CNN for seven minutes in the middle of

the Saturday afternoon. Fucking hilarious. Definitely not that. Hilarious. Must have been the longest continuous dildo exposure on CNN since they canceled

Piers Morgan live. Awesome. Favorite moments in news ever right there. So unfortunately for CNN, nobody on their crew noticed that the ISIS flag was ribbed for her pleasure either, and it went to air. And of course, that means we're going to need 30 seconds on the clock. News headlines about confusing a penis with something else. Oh, I like it. All right. went to air. And of course, that means we're going to need 30 seconds on the clock. News headlines about confusing a penis with something else. Oh, I like it. All right. Prosecutors drop indecent exposure charges against James Carville upon realizing that was his head.

Raging Cajun. Well done. Thank you. He does look like a penis. What about the idiot CNN reporter in the UK last weekend? Spotted. Dicks on parade in London go viral. Oh, nice. Nice. It's all about the pause. Yes. CNN proves once again that white women think Arabic penises all look the same.

Again, all about the pause. right now i have one i dug this one up this is historical goes back to 1839 i believe local mother's group to edward bower lighten nobody needs to know what your penis is mightier than had to look that one up speaking of speaking of s words than the penis mightier, what about Sword Fight Club? Journalist exposes underground cockfighting ring with twist ending. This wasn't what I was expecting. I am Jack's raging seminal duct. All right, I have a classic correction here from 2008.

It was from the New York Post. Bulge in Plexico Burris' pants that fired off prematurely way funnier than previously reported. Well done. Thank you, sir. Excellent. All right. We're on the NFL. I'm going

area woman to Brett Favre. That's not what selfie stick means. Thank you. No more texts. We never have to update our NFL dick jokes. We can just run with those two for the rest of time. How about Kim Jong-un swears it's not a ballistic dildo?

About South America, 2010. Visiting porn star reacts to merciless beating by local laborers outside of a bar in Copiapo, Chile. I was just talking about Long Dark Shaft. Oh, wow. I was wondering where you were going, and I was like, this is going to be awful. I don't know where he's going, but it's definitely going to be awful. Okay, so Brooklyn, 2011.

Parents of one-handed baby sue nearsighted moil. Excellent. See, you did something awful. I just went with baby mutilation. Oh, yeah. So I went safe. About Washington, D.C., 2003. Bush on Cheney.

Preemptive thing never happened to me before. But just made sense coming from Dick. So I put it in his hands. How about... Wait, I got one last one. Dateline Smurf Village.

Gargamel in critical condition after drunken, hefty Smurf mistakenly thought he was home. I'm going to let that sink in for a second. And then on our long overdue first Smurf in a dick joke, we're going to close out the headlines for the night. Tonight, Heath thanks, as always... Drew Bungie! Smurf! Shit! Smurf B Shit. Smurf Bonji.

Lucinda will join us in edging a tiny bit closer to not reading the Bible anymore. Like all good things, the vindication and pride we all felt when we saw couples around the country breaking the bonds of discrimination, and the wonderful, wonderful schadenfreude that we basked in as we watched the Christians freak the fuck out about it, will fade with time. So you can either savor it for a few more blissful days before it's drowned back out by the relentless march of bigotry, before it's drowned back out by the relentless march of bigotry. Or you can relive it forever with the scathing atheist collection of the best Christian Obergefell vs. Hodges related meltdowns. Now that's what I call butthurt. It's tragic.

Judicial tyranny. I'm saddened for our country. Our pastors will be a target. Misguided, immoral, unlawful, and unconstitutional. Everybody I've talked to as far as Christians are horrified they've stolen America from us. God is not pleased. That's right, Noah. This amazing collection will allow you to revisit their asinine ramblings for years to come.

You'll get dire predictions. There will be persecution of Christians. All hell is going to break loose. All dissent will be silent. That sets up tyranny. They're coming for your faith, your family, your freedom, your guns. You'll get ridiculous

hyperbole. The obliteration of religious liberty. 626 is now our 9-11. And this nation will suffocate. And if necessary, we will burn. Just like the brown shirts in the 1930s. You'll get impotent denialism. i will not acquiesce

to an imperial court those who follow scripture will not yield on that nothing has changed in regard to god's law we're gonna get out of here whether it's costa rica whether it's the philippines we'll even include vague ominous biblical crap there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. An abomination in the eyes of a holy and just God. Our glory shall be turned into shame. I don't know what it's going to look like, but it's coming. We will soon reap the whirlwind of several generations of rebellion. I'm predicting that we're going to see some kind of calamity and judgment is going to occur. And don't forget the open calls for armed insurrection.

A revolt, a revolution. I mean, if they talk about a civil war, we could have another one over this. Persecution and or revolution. Religious war. Well, revolution is at hand. And so much more. Divorces will now triple. We are now serfs on a plantation that's being run by cultural elites.

For people who are white, cisgender Christians, they're coming for you. You must prepare for martyrdom. Satan is out to destroy everything that God has created. It's unsafe in a city where the homosexual agenda has control. Then they're going to say, well, I want to marry my parents. I want to have multiple marriages. Science proves living a homosexual lifestyle is devastating, medically and psychologically. Now, am I saying that the Supreme Court sent people to hell?

I have no love. No love! And if you act right now as a special bonus, we'll include historically condemning statements from virtually every contender in the GOP presidential field. For three easy payments of $9.99 and two difficult ones of $300, now that's what I call butthurt to be yours. Act now so that you'll have it handy in 50 years when the Christians start pretending they were the ones pushing for gay rights the whole fucking time. Butthurt Christians are standing by at 785-273-0325. That non-Turkey safety hotline number, once again, is 785-273-0325,

not Turkey safety hotline, 785-273-0325. They are shaking their finger at an almighty God. 752730325. They are shaking their finger at an almighty God. Must be 18 or older to order. Offer void in Mississippi, Delaware, and all the other states. Notice that we didn't say anything about a money-back guarantee. Please allow three to six decades for shipping. If the collection causes

an erection in the last more than four hours, contact a physician immediately. Now, that's what I call butthurt. It's not a real thing that can actually be ordered, but you can still give us money if you like. Fuck everybody whose voice was featured on the segment except for Heath and me, especially Steve Anderson. Why anyone would choose to violate the definition of Scripture. The battle for traditional marriage is over and the battle for religious

freedom has begun. The Holy Bible. God damn it are there a lot of epistles. We're going to knock out a couple more tonight, but I feel obligated to apologize in advance to you for Paul being such a boring, repetitive fuck. I mean, sure, the New Testament is tamer, but I am dying for somebody to chop up a fucking concubine or something.

Instead, we get Galatians. The story of Paul hearing that the Christians in Galatia were talking shit about him and setting him straight and talking even more about what Christians do and don't have to do with their dicks, pretty much. It's awful. It's absolutely... Imagine, like, the Pope sent a mass email to all the dudes in Turkey

asking for a penis-related favor. That's the approximate tone of what's happening. That's the premise for a book. Pretty much. And of course, it just wouldn't be the babble without the help of the lovely Lucinda Lusion. So Lucinda, what did you think of Galatians? The only things that's better than his Ephesians and rape.

Pretty much. Unfortunately, something tells me you're going to have to adjust that statement the further into these epistles we get. So why don't you start us off here? All right. So the book starts off with a quick reminder that Paul is Rick James, bitch. He gets the perfunctory

yay, glory, be to God stuff and then jumps right into how full of shit the Galatians are. Yeah, and it got to the anti-Semitic stuff a lot faster than you'd expect. Right. Hey, Galatians, it's Paul. So, you guys all remember real God, creator of the universe

To whom be glory and forever and ever Amen, yeah I definitely told you about this Anyway, I talked to him And he wanted to let you know he's all about Sending you some grace and peace But then I heard you're doing Jewish stuff again, what was the one thing I mean so clear

No more Judaism And he stumbles right out of the gate, too. He's just like, how dare you embrace another gospel? I mean, not that there is another gospel, but, you know, if there was, how dare you? Because there's only, you know, the one, and it's the one that I had. So there isn't another one. You've been tricked into thinking that there is another one, that there isn't. And for that, fuck all of you guys.

And then he reminds everybody that the stuff he says doesn't come from humans. It was revealed by Jesus. And in fact, it was so revealed by Jesus that even if Jesus shows up to reveal something different, this revelation trumps it. Yes, exactly. He preemptively said that Jesus is full of shit if he says anything else later. And then we get yet another account of all of Paul's travels,

and he's basically just talking shit with it. He's going, yeah, you know, while you guys were pissing around in your shitty little province in Asia Minor, I've been rolling around the whole ancient fucking world, chilling with celebrities, chatting with apostles, you know. So clearly you guys don't know shit. This is where he starts making shit up about his trip to Jerusalem to use as proof that the Jewish rules don't count anymore for Gentiles. He says, listen, when I went to Jerusalem with Titus,

he's the Greek dude with his entire penis, yeah, the Jewish elders didn't even try to cut his foreskin off when we were there. And now, I know what you're all thinking. You're about to ask, why did he have his dick out in front of the church elders in Jerusalem? Funny story, funny story. Some heathen dick spies infiltrated our camp and got a look at it. I don't know what happened. It was crazy.

It was crazy. So I'm not making that up. That's really what it says in Galatians 2.4. It's about heathenist dick spies, foreskins, and the enslavement of Christians. But the church down the street from us in real life, seriously, they think that passage says, God bless America. That's what it says on the sign down the street. Gal they think that passage says, God bless America. That's what it says on the side, God bless America. Not even a stick spies, foreskins, nothing about slavery.

Gotta love Georgia. But it is encouraging to see that even in the earliest days of the church, at least some people were recognizing the critical problem with their theology, that being, you know, it wasn't Paul, by the way, his opposition to common sense is as full-throated as a Nigerian prostitute, but the Galatians were clearly calling bullshit on the concept that being a good person is irrelevant as long as you believe in Jesus. Yeah, it seems strange to modernize, to see somebody arguing so passionately against being a good person,

but damn it if Paul isn't going to try. Right. This is where Paul explains, listen, idiots, living a life of morality as a Jewish person is a giant pain in the ass compared to the faith in Christ shortcut we just set up. That's the whole reason we rigged it like that. Just take the shortcut. I'm talking about it.

Stop complaining. Right. Also, tiny little thing here, but it's really worth pointing out. Chapter 3, verse 13, Paul makes a reference about how Jesus is cursed by God because of Deuteronomy 21-23, which is very specifically a reference to people being hung on trees. Not crucified, and definitely not crucified on crosses. He also says in the opening of chapter 3 that Jesus was publicly exhibited as crucified in Galatia, about 600 miles from Jerusalem. Right, yeah.

And it's not that his corpse kept him. The guy resurrected. No. He's just the Savior, and that's how he died. Yeah. So the footnotes in my Bible, by the way, try to reconcile all of this without admitting that clearly the crucifixion mythos hadn't really crystallized at this point. They say that Paul was probably referring to his own speeches about Christ's death as the public exhibition. That's the public exhibition of Jesus being crucified.

I guess the bit about hanging on the tree, by the way, they also said that that was probably a result of Galatians misreading the Deuteronomical Law. They fucked it up, not us. Of course, except that it was Paul writing this fucking letter, not the Galatians. Yes, exactly. They clearly, they ignored that part. Also, I'm pretty sure this chapter,

did I read this correctly? Did it contain a legal document that clearly gives Christians a piece of that big land grant from God to Abraham? So that Jewish title deed from Genesis that they were talking about, it actually came back up. But the Christians have a lien.

It's a really smart move. Also, next time you see a Christian talking about marriage being between one man and one woman, cite Galatians 3.28. There is no longer Jew or Greek. There is no longer slave or free. There is no longer male or female, for all of you are one in Jesus Christ. So, like it or not, guys, according to your book, all marriages are gay marriages

and you've been doing it forever. I like the opening of chapter 4, too. He says, okay, so we can all agree that the children are no better than slaves, right? That's his premise. That's the precept. He's going to build his point on the fact that children are property that than slaves, right? That's his premise. That's the precept he's going to build his point on, the fact that children are property that should be beaten with sticks.

And the argument is just as cogent and convincing as we've come to expect from Paul. Are we not like children? Are you not like the children? Am I not the child who bears the child who is the children? Boom, motherfuckers! QED! I think they lost a page at the printer or something.

Chapter 4 starts with Paul clearly mid-sentence. It's about halfway through what sounded like a drunken argument about slave rape ethics with, like, Kevin Smith characters. No, what I'm saying, what I'm telling you is that as long as the kid's not 18 yet, it doesn't matter if the mom is a slave whore or the white lady. We're getting off track, though. The point is the Jews are slave spawn, and we're the good guys. That's what the story of Ishmael and Isaac was about.

Yeah, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. And after four chapters of rambling and caterwauling, we get to the point, which is, of course, their points. Apparently, the Galatians are telling people they still have to get circumcised if they want to be proper Christians, and Paul is saying, guys, if we keep telling the Gentiles they have to mutilate their dicks, we're

not going to get any Gentiles. Right. It's a complex point, because he also can't just come out and say thousands of years of penis mutilation was pointless Well pointless would be the right word Right So he has to do a delicate dick dance By telling everybody

Look, you can do the dick cutty thing if you want But then you'll have to follow all those crazy Jew laws Right And sure, lopping off your foreskin is all fun and games But not being able to push the elevator buttons on Saturday Is way more of a pain in the ass than you think it'll be. Think about this, guys. Not that it requires a lot of finesse, but Paul makes a pretty good case for not getting your penis peeled. That he does, yes.

It felt kind of like one of those late-night infomercials for Christianity. Judaism is the obsolete competition product clumsy rabbi in black and white awkwardly fumbling the enormous torah and like a machete bending over camping a banana peel sound effects glass breaking for no reason you've tried biting it off slicing it off with a katana you've had a bearded jewish man blow you nothing Tried biting it off. Tried slicing it off with a katana. You've had a bearded Jewish man blow you. Nothing else.

We also get to see a bit more of Paul's temper than we've seen up to this point. He says, I'm not sure who keeps telling you to cut your foreskin off, but I wish they'd just cut your whole fucking dick off. Get over with. He does say that. He does say that. Basically, he's like, I wish they would just castrate themselves. He also appeals to their sense of prudery. He says, hey, we can't just all go around doing stuff that feels good,

like getting drunk, fornicating, and chopping skin folds off of our genitals, guys. That feels great. And then he wraps it all up by telling everybody to leave their cocks alone, reminding them that he kicks way more ass than all the other non-Jesus people, and reminds everybody not to bite each other. Right. A quick wrap-up for everyone, just in case I wasn't clear. We're offering better superpowers, no rules, keep your whole penis.

There's no downside here. You guys heard what I was offering, right? Yeah, so nothing new in the whole fucking thing, but if you thought galatians was boring and pointless let me tell you about ephesians oh hold up my my script says skip to revelation are we not i'm pretty sure i like where your head is but no unfortunately so i guess because the older manuscript doesn't actually address the city of ephesus scholars of the past assume that this book was something of like a Pauline form letter that was sent to a number of different churches,

like a dear resident type of thing. But today, biblical scholars admit it definitely wasn't written by Paul, and was probably all but copied from Colossians, which, incidentally, also probably wasn't actually written by Paul. So we've got like some dude copying off of some other dude that cheated, pretty much. So, apostle ghostwriter propagandists are bad at starting letters. 100% of the time. This time the intro was an entire chapter, and it starts out kind of like this. So Ephesus, can't help but notice you guys keep existing.

Well, I've been praying for you about exactly that to Christ Jesus, and obviously it's been working. So I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't know me, but you're welcome. You're very welcome. And now that we're acquainted, I'd like to continue with a condescending letter for six more chapters. This whole book is basically biblical lorem ipsum. It's just a bunch of rambling about Jesus and dig mutilations with no references to any specific issues or places or problems. Yeah, you read on TV. No, no.

Nothing happens in Ephesians. I think there was only a total of like three periods in the first two chapters. Right. I hate that. The RSV does you the favor of adding punctuation, but I guess in the King James the whole fucking fucking book is one sentence long, pretty much. So, you can tell they had a target audience

that included Jewish people at this point, but it seems like the writers definitely weren't very happy about it. You know, like, one of the bosses had just clearly told them they had to throw in another compliment here in chapter two, so they went with something like the Jews murdered our Savior to bring us all together in a state of unity through Jesus and the Jews murdering our Savior.

So thanks to the Jews for knowing their role. Who, by the way, for a limited time only, can convert to good people for no money now. We'll pay your first three months. These have to go. As you read it, it's really hard to believe it took so long for biblical scholars to knock this one down as fortunate. I mean, it's like, it's as if it was like the blatantly different writing style isn't enough of a clue. The third chapter opens up by telling us that this is definitely Paul writing this, and we should have no doubt of that since I'm definitely me.

Who says that? Right. And considering you're still reading this awful letter, you must be aware that I, Paul, was given the new rules by God through divine revelation. Well, it's not going to be easy, but we're all going to need to take up the white man's burden with all the bloody savages in this town. What I'm saying is, we're going to solve the brown people's crisis. Not gay sex. It's truly amazing how little is said in this one, though.

I mean, this is junk mail. It was damn hard to get letters around back in those days, so you wouldn't expect it. But this is the epistolic equivalent of you may already be a winner. Junk mail. This is ridiculous. I have a Nigerian prince cousin. Yeah, there's some vague, like, you know, thieves should probably stop stealing shit stuff in Chapter 4. But other than that, I can't even tell you what the hell this one was about.

Even when it tries to drill down and offer some advice, it's stuff like, this is chapter 5, verse 11. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. Oh, well. Genius. Yeah, yeah. Same chapter, verse 15. Be careful, then, how you live, not as unwise people, but as wise. Oh.

Wise or unwise? Wise? You said it was wise. It was wise. Not unwise. Wise. Thanks for that rock-hard, actionable specificity there, you fake Paul. What the hell?

Well, there is some specific misogyny in there about how wives should shut the fuck up and do what they're told, but that's almost background noise at this point. Well, to Ephesians' credit, it does mildly suggest you shouldn't beat your wife, which is about as progressive as you're going to get in this motherfucker. Apparently, yeah.

I'm sure all the wives appreciate that mildly suggested guideline, but it's easy for it to get lost in the middle of the discussion about how your husband is allowed to rape you just like Jesus is allowed to rape the whole church. They really used that analogy, by the way. I didn't make that up. That's in the Bible.

Husband can rape you, same as Jesus raping everybody. Exactly, exactly. What's the difference? Savior rapes everybody. We get this great advice for slaves about how you should shut the fuck up and do what you're told since God decided that you should be slaves and all. Which, by the way, is the cornerstone of Clarence Thomas libertarianism. Yes, that's what we learned earlier in the headlines.

Ephesians 6. Well, and then it flips that one. Like it's going to tell slave owners to be kind to their slaves in the next clause or something, but it doesn't really. All it says is to stop threatening them. It doesn't say anything about not hitting them with a stick So I guess If you just whack them without warning Jesus is cool with it

But if you give them any warning, God forbid And on that great advice It mercifully ends And yet another stupid fucking epistle begins And there is still a lot of these motherfuckers I don't even want to say the number It's that depressing 16 I didn't even want to say the number. It's that depressing. 16.

I didn't want you to say that number either. Ah, fuck. My letter format is great. I wish all books were like that. My letter format. Underused. All right. Canon.

Gentle homage. Booyah. Before we climb back into our coffins tonight, I wanted to let everybody know that I have it on good authority. The stars are set to align correctly for another episode of Incredulous in the very near future, and I have it on the same good authority that our good friend Eli will be a guest on that episode should be a lot of fun keep an eye on our facebook and twitter for a link as soon as it's available and speaking of eli barring natural disaster or severe injury he's going to be joining us next week for an emergency

movie review on ray comfort's new anti-gay propaganda flick audacity probably gonna have to learn some new cuss words between now and then should be fun anyway that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. But if you can't wait that long, I did do a guest spot with Jake Farr Wharton on Imaginary Friends show. It was a strange shift for me because he said I had to play it clean, which I did, sort of. You'll probably notice an edit or two if you listen. That's all I'm going to say.

I believe episodes 266 and 267, which you'll find linked on the show notes as well. Need to thank Heath for everything he does. A series of words that takes on all new meaning when I don't have him around for a week. Couldn't do it without you, bro. Especially not for more than a week. Also need to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lusions for the loveliness and the talent, among other things. And a huge thanks to the Waiting for Wrath podcast for this week's Farnsworth quote.

I haven't actually heard their show before, but that snippet definitely piqued my curiosity and the same shan't be true the next time I talk to you. If you'd like to give them a listen as well, you'll find a link to their show on the show notes as well, and that's numeral for Waiting for Wrath. But most of all, of course, I need to thank this week's most beloved blasphemers, James, Brian, Soren, Nocturnal Emissions, Chad, Mike, the Irreverent Skeptics Podcast, Theo, and Paul. James, Brian, and Soren, whose genitals are so impressive they've been appraised by Lloyds of London, Nocturnal Emissions, Chad and Mike, whose urethras are the first post-Pluto flyby for the New Horizons mission, Thank you. wisdom, benevolence, and bold sense of personal style that it takes to give us money. But if you think you're up for the challenge, you can contribute to the production of this show

at patreon.com slash scathingatheist. There you can make a recurring per-episode donation and earn bonus content and whatnot. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the Donate button on the right side of our homepage. And if you'd like to help, but you keep getting suckered out of that $3.50

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immortality. We don't know. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com. All the music used in this episode was written and performed by yours truly, and yes, I did have my permission. Flammable liquids are funny. Yes. You douse the right person in them.

Exactly. It all depends on who you douse them.