The Scathing Atheist - ScathingAtheist 192: We're in England Edition

Episode Date: October 20, 2016

In this week’s episode, QED was awesome, you should have come, and we all talked about you behind your back; we develop a large series of inside jokes from the trip that won't make sense to you at all; and Eli will use them, even though we’ve explained why that doesn’t make any sense. To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies Guest Links: You can find Falcon’s Podcast, “The Secularist Sanctuary”, Here: https://secularistsanctuary.com/podcasts/ Headlines: Three Americans arrested for plot to bomb Muslim refugee: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2016/10/christian-terrorists-arrested-in-plot-to-bomb-muslims/ Mormon Church urges members to vote against recreational marijuana: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2016/10/mormon-church-tells-members-to-vote-against-recreational-marijuana/ Creationist gets six figure settlement after being fired by his university: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/10/06/creationist-wins-six-figure-settlement-after-getting-fired-from-a-california-university/ Myanmar tourist faces three months for accidentally unplugging amp during religious service: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/10/06/myanmar-tourist-sentenced-to-3-months-in-prison-after-inadvertently-unplugging-amp-during-sermon/ Canadian Atheist files complaint after being forced to attend AA: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/10/06/canadian-atheist-files-human-rights-complaint-after-being-forced-to-attend-alcoholics-anonymous/ Survey: 41% of Trump supporters in NC think Hillary is the devil: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2016/10/41-of-nc-trump-supporters-believe-clinton-is-the-devil/ The white house needs to be exorcised of bisexual native american demons (30 seconds?) http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/10/13/the-white-house-must-be-exorcised-of-bisexual-native-american-demons-says-christian-writer/

Before we even start the show, I want to make a couple of apologies. I'll admit at the outset that this is not the highest quality episode we've ever put together. Our original plan was to pre-record this week's show before we left for the UK, but the response to Vulgarity for Charity caught us off guard. We ended up doing way more work on that than we expected, so there just wasn't enough time to knock it out before the trip. So the following episode was written, recorded, and edited in the midst of hitting four cities in six days, recording two live shows, doing two Skeptics in the Pub events, and edited in the midst of hitting four cities in six days, recording two live shows,

doing two Skeptics in the Pub events, and traveling 836 miles by rail. As a result, the sound quality is quite a bit lower than normal, our voices are quite a bit hoarser than normal, and some of us were a little more inebriated than normal. And, of course, as I record this preamble, I'm going on about 20 hours of sleep

over the last five days. So, thanks for bearing with us, and we promise to be back in the studio next week. And now, on with the show. Warning, the language in the following podcast is so naughty you should spank it. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the new brand of recreational marijuana from the Church of Latter-day Saints. D. Kafgani Kush. Need to take the edge off after a long day of bothering people at home? Did standing outside a Starbucks give you the jitters?

D. Kafgani Kush. The Leone strain we guarantee will knock you out of your magic underwear. And now, the Scathing Atheist. This is Falcon from the Secularist Sanctuary Podcast, here to tell you that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men. Also, 2 plus 2 is 4, and circles are round. It's Thursday. It's October 20th.

And the show sounds this way because we recorded you an episode in a hotel room in fucking Scotland. And these goddamn British plugs blew up my mixer's fucking converter. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Ethan Wright. And from Scootlanger, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode. QED was awesome.

You should have come, and we all talked about you behind your back. We developed a large series of inside jokes from the trip that won't make sense to you at all. And Eli will use them, even though we've explained why that doesn't make any goddamn sense. But first, the diatribe. You know, I'm sorry I've got to be the one to break this to you, but I think we might just suck at countrying, y'all. I mean, seriously, I've been in the UK for almost a week now, and I can't go anywhere without learning a new lesson in what we're doing wrong in the States. I walk by a homeless guy outside my hotel, and I think to myself, well, that guy's got better health care than me. Every third vehicle that passes me seems to be public transit,

and most of the rest of the cars are just, like, you know, car-sized at least. All the plugs, all the plugs have little switches on them, so you don't have to waste electricity sending power to unused outlets. The units of measure match up to the ones the entire rest of the world agrees on. Everybody puts little filters on their joints. It's as easy to recycle as it is to throw something away. Hell, I'm at the bar the last night of QED. I look up at the TV and there's a math-based game show on.

A math-based game show. I'm coming from a country where the Sudoku books have no math required emblazoned across their covers because Americans see numbers and get scared. And here these motherfuckers are doing math for fun. Hell, even their walk don't walk guy has better posture than ours. I mean, don't get me wrong. England definitely has some self-inflicted fuck tartary wounds to deal with at the moment. And it was nice to be able to just say Brexit every time somebody asked me how the fuck we let Trump become a legitimate presidential candidate, but based on a completely insufficient and unscientific glance around their country, they seem to be way better at this shit than we are.

Now, I should caveat all of this by pointing out my gross ignorance. Until last weekend, I was one of the 64% of Americans that had never left my home country. I mean, technically that's not true because I went to Canada a couple of times when I was a kid and I've made a few trips to Mexico as an adult. My wife and I vacationed on Grand Cayman once, but that's about as toe-in-the-water as you can get in terms of international travel. Of course, in America's defense, our country has sunny beaches year-round and good skiing in the winter, so it's not like you've got to go to another country to find a slightly different climate like you do here.

On top of that, there's only two countries we can get to quickly. One of them is freezing cold 11 and a half months a year. And the other one's chief export is drug related homicide. So it's not quite as egregious as the British seem to think it is. But regardless of the reason, it has to have an acute effect on our culture, right? I mean, we're profoundly America-centric, so much so that I've gotten three minutes into this diatribe using the collective pronoun to denote Americans,

despite the fact that I know I'm talking to an audience that's only 70% American. And it's a shame, really, because America could sure use a bit of England and a bit of Scotland, particularly, of course, in terms of religiosity. But I don't want to suck the UK's dick too much here, right? Because there are a few things that America still does

better, even in terms of religion. You know, I knew long before I got here that the UK was one of the least religious countries in the world. And whenever I talk to listeners from here, they always start the conversation by saying something like, oh, don't get me wrong, we don't have a problem with religion like you do in America. And technically, that's true. Their problem with religion is totally different. But if they think wrong, we don't have a problem with religion like you do in America. And technically that's true. Their problem with religion is totally different. But if they think that the UK doesn't have a problem with religion, they're dead fucking wrong. I mean, sure, they don't have evolution deniers at the highest levels of government. They're not teaching creationism in their schools.

They don't have the Westboro Baptist Church. But they do have some shit here that you couldn't even imagine seeing in the US. For example, about one-third of the publicly funded schools in England are religious schools, faith schools. They draw the line at teaching creationism and denying evolution, but still, if you're a resident of England, your tax dollars are funding religious schools. When we met up with the Glasgow Skeptics, we couldn't find a single person who wasn't forced to sing hymns at school. In fact, if I'm following this correctly, every school board in Scotland, or whatever it is

that they call the school boards over there, every one of them is required to reserve three seats for religious appointments. Unelected officials appointed by churches wielding enormous and undemocratic sway over education. What's more, from what I was hearing in Edinburgh, all the best public schools around there are the religious ones. Now, those schools apparently can't discriminate against kids based on their religion, so a Protestant kid can go to a Catholic church or whatever, but they'll be taking religious education classes while they're there. And those same schools can discriminate against non-Catholic teachers and administrators. So there's a de facto segregation there that makes it a hell of a lot harder for an atheist educator to get a job. Plus, there's a lot of incentive for both the students

and the teachers to lie to pretend that they belong to the majority religion. I mean, sure, these violations seem pretty minor compared to some of the shit we're dealing with in the States, but this shit is happening in the sixth least religious country in the world. You know, there are some atheist groups trying to do something about it, of course, but apparently it's pretty hard to get people excised about this shit because they're under the mistaken impression that religion isn't really an issue here. You know, they look around, they don't see a giant tax-subsidized ark there to convince school kids that the story about the magic boat was real, and they say, ah, what the hell, I sung hymns in school too, and I didn't turn out to be a zealot. And this, of course, brings me back around to my America-centrism, because there's something we can all learn from this, right? I mean, our demographics are rapidly shifting in the direction of the UK, and if I've noticed, believe me, so have the religious institutions. They know their numbers are dwindling, and they don't want their power to dwindle along with it, so they look to the UK for ideas of where to go next. After all, the British churches already saw their flocks move on, but

they still wield an inordinate amount of power and what a british churches have entrenched fucking power right i mean that's the problem here just imagine scotland had america's school system up until today right and they had for the last hundred years then along comes a referendum asking people if they should reserve three school board positions for church appointees and sing hymns in classes all the time you know i'm not trying to pretend to be an expert on scottish politics all sudden, but based on the demographics, I'm guessing that vote would fail overwhelmingly. But voting no is a lot different than trying to overturn the existing policies. In other words, the churches here are insulated by a combination of tradition and complacency. And those are two things America's really fucking good at. Now, when you look at it through that lens, it sheds a lot

of light on the current push by America's religious leaders, right? I mean, think about what they're putting their efforts at right now, right? By and large, they're in the courts and the state houses trying to pass laws to protect their power. You know, we tend to focus on the anti-LGBT aspects of RFRA because those are the ones with the most immediate import, but hating gays is only a small fraction of the reason religious leaders keep pushing for these laws. Recall the conversation about RFRA that I had with Andrew Torres a couple months back. He pointed out that there's an implied exemption for majority religions that doesn't even have to be legislated. The example he used was a Catholic priest giving a 14-year-old girl wine during communion.

You and I give alcohol to a teenage girl and our asses would be in jail, as Eli has now discovered on at least two continents. So why does a majority religion push so hard for a law like that? Because they see the demographic trend. They're trying their damnedest to legally codify the bullshit exemptions they already have in advance of a culture

that is fast leaving them behind. You know, they fought against the tide of atheism for decades, but at this point they recognize that regardless of their best efforts, America is growing ever more godless. You follow the present trend lines and America becomes majority none in about 30 years. Now that's counting on an unsustainable

growth rate to sustain itself, so the picture isn't quite that bright for American atheism, but there's no question that the rate of religiosity is taking a nosedive that has to scare the shit out of the invested institutions. So between now and then, they're going to spend their time trying to erect as many legal hurdles between us and their bullshit exemptions as they can. They need to cram those laws into the books in the hopes that a nominally religious America is going to treat them with the same half-hearted apathy as a nominally religious Scotland has. See, my assessment is that the anti-religious wing of the UK cracked open their champagne bottles a little bit too soon.

There's still a lot of work to be done here if you want a truly secular nation, and even a lot of the atheists here don't seem to recognize that. And as America inches its way ever closer to their demographics, we need to be careful we don't do the same thing. I've seen a lot of prominent atheists trying to declare premature victory in this fight, but even in the countries where we're clearly winning, we still haven't quite won. You know, we can't afford to take our foot off the gas pedal now, or we're going to wind up taking enemy fire while we're drinking our champagne. Of course, that's not to say we don't deserve some champagne because the undeniable fact is that the religious powers are scared and desperate, which means they know they're losing.

You know, when your opponent starts making contingency plans, you know you're doing something right. And I think I speak for all of us when I say that I'll drink to that. They're talking about you, Jesus. I interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are a couple of loud obnoxious americans heathenright and eli bosnick fellas are you ready to explain the trump phenomenon to more limeys yeah it's uh it's like brexit but it won't happen yeah so it's just like brexit he's like david cameron without the

financial acumen not equally good at gambling. Yeah, no, there's that. All right, so in our lead story tonight, we leave you guys alone for three fucking days and you got rednecks trying to bomb Muslims in Kansas. Yeah, well, they used to get the show on Libsyn. Very upset. This is why we can't have anything nice, America. Your co-hosts and I wanted to go to the UK and have some fun time to ourselves,

get a couple nice meals, meet a few local sheep, but no. Instead, we got to spend the whole time trying to explain what the fuck is up with Trump and worrying about how many Muslims are going to terrorize while we're gone. Heath doesn't know where someone is. I will stab you in the heart. Guys, that is a joke that we

made on the plane on the way over. The listeners weren't there. Now it's on the show. You are switching it. Eli used a racial slur in the middle of the event. Wildly offensive. He's like a helpful skeptic of some kind to explain the importance show tweeted at him switching it eli used a racial slur in the middle of the event wildly offensive he's like a helpful skeptic of some kind to explain the importance of cultural sensitivity at eli bosnick i thought me and that gentleman were there already anyway so on to jokes that the uh that the listeners have some chance of getting

federal authorities announced on friday that they had arrested three kansas men in connection with an attempt to bomb an apartment complex with a number of somali american residents and a mosque inside it the suspects curtis allen gavin wright and patrick eugene could not possibly sound more like three cousin fucking camo suit wearing hicks their plan apparently was to to park explosive laced vehicles at all four corners of the building and then run a line from those trucks to a bucket that a chicken would lay an egg into after a balloon popped when the water wheel brought the pin all the way around and they would have got away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling federal authorities. Yeah, don't get me wrong.

This is terrible and scary, but the ineptitude of these assholes does make it slightly better. I feel like all Muslims in this country will be safe if they just paint a hole on the side of their building curtis allen will look in and get hit by a train see the old rabbit season versus duck season would be a good way yeah there you go there you go people clearly watch reality shows about both and know exactly when each one of those things happens bum them now or wait till you get home. Right, right. There you go. So these arrests came at the end of an eight-month investigation during which FBI agents overheard the suspects

openly discussing plans to attack churches, organizations, and public officials that have aided Muslims and Muslim refugees, as well as landlords that rent to them. The group of Christian domestic terrorists call themselves the Crusaders, and I'm sure they got a little logo they drew up with a skull and a knife on it, maybe a bat

wing. I think that's because the ironics was taken. Right. Radical Christian terrorism. And as I understand it, the authorities were able to infiltrate the group when they realized it meets in a plywood treehouse and the password is no girls allowed.

It got right in. So according to U.S. Attorney Tom Beal, the three could face life in prison if convicted. In a statement released to the press on the day of the arrests, Beal said, quote, many Kansans may find this startling, as I have,

that such a thing could happen here, end quote, because apparently he thinks he can trick people into believing Kansas isn't exactly where we all figured the sovereign citizen anti-government wackaloon redneck terrorists were. Best of luck with that, bro. No, you got a good state there. A good one. People are always talking about how they're not there anymore.

And in I'm-so-lee-high-right-now-you-guys news tonight, And in I'm-so-Lee-high-right-now-you-guys news tonight, the Mormon Church is surprisingly doubling down on the whole being-against-harmless-stuff-that's-fun policy this week in response to the upcoming elections. Interesting. Five states have votes coming up this November related to legalizing recreational marijuana, and the Mormon Church has issued an official letter encouraging its members to vote against it. Well, good, good. I love that they figured we need help figuring out how the Mormons felt about this. I wonder where the people who espouse the demonic properties

of a frappuccino land on the recreational weed issue, do they have a bulletin or something? Do they have a website about this? Yeah, this is a place where a cop can walk up to a dude. He's fucking a harem of teenage wives. Excuse me, sir? Sir, please put out the joint or we're going to have a problem here.

Your wife is clearly not old enough to smoke. Oh, shit. So here's the edited for honesty version of the letter. Dear brothers and sisters, and sister wives and brothers married to sisters, you get it. Drug abuse in the United States is at epidemic proportions,

not marijuana use. In fact, our own state, it's prescription medication, but what are you going to do, right? Sorry. Anyways, the dangers of marijuana to public health and safety are well documented. In fact, I have those studies right here, and I gave them to my girlfriend in Canada.

You don't know her, but she's a model. Super hot. She's peer-reviewing it with Ben Stein. And Ben Stein. And Ben Stein. That's a call forward to next week's scam, guys. It's hopeless. Get with it.

Recent studies have shed light particularly on the risks marijuana poses to brain development in youth, which is totally relevant since we all know the moment recreational marijuana becomes legal, it is instantly integrated into the school lunch program. Also, please get Eli started on the massive crock of shit that makes up the pop-sci-what-blank-does-to-your-brain area of science. And see, this is the fucked up thing, because there actually is a lot of research that shows that. But I mean, all of a sudden Mormons give a shit about scientific studies? Quick, somebody DNA test an Indian! See, there's the evil right there.

We found it. The accessibility of recreational marijuana in the home is also a danger to children. I mean, sure. It seems fine at first. You put it in the safe, but who has time to lock that thing? Every time the kid get in there,

blam, joint goes off. Wait, what are we talking about? Yeah, right. Love the Mormon church. Learned it by watching you. It's a lot more accurate as a gun control

and a sex talk in my house so while more than half the country now agrees that marijuana should be legal and that every state should be getting some of that sweet sweet colorado weed money somehow the anti-soda religion hasn't caught on yet. I'm guessing because that fifth white always hogs the pipe. That must be it. Looking at you, Ashley. I'm just so happy to know I'm not the only person

that watched Eli's parents fuck. And in martyr barter news tonight, the state of California is now paying a creationist asshole who refers to himself in the third person six figures to not teach at a public university. You can take class from the pope different asshole actually and no you can't take a class from him and the him in question here would be former microscopy technician creationist and person who looks like he introduces himself spirit animal first mark armitage who was awarded the six-figure settlement after alleging that he was fired from his position at the university for being a Christian and not believing in science.

Although it seems like there's a lot more evidence that he violated the don't wear the same ridiculous Hawaiian shirt to work every day. We can see eight weeks of pit stains like tree rings. You're a grown up and we're paying you policy. Yeah, there's also that. A policy our company does not have no matter how many gentle notes we leave on heath's desk i'm on a nine week cycle you know this like an ovulating woman exactly exactly the same yeah no no look there's no question that this dude is an embarrassing person to have you around your, right? His degrees are from Liberty University and the Institute for Creation Research.

He once wrote a book called Jesus is Like My Scanning Electron Microscope. I swear that's really true. As a matter of fact, the book reviews on Amazon have called it grammatically adequate. And also, he once found a triceratops horn that he insisted was only a few thousand years old. So yeah, makes your university look stupid. But there is a question as to whether that factored into his termination. Because according to the university, they just didn't need a part-time microscopy technician anymore. And they probably didn't like how he called it a god particle gun.

Almost certainly not why they fired him, but if it was, I would understand. So this guy was basically fired for being awful, but since it's illegal to fire people for being a certain kind of awful money well okay but here look i mean after a couple of years of he said she said jockeying the university eventually elected to settle out of court without admitting fault and you know maybe they did this because they knew they were guilty that's certainly a possibility but if you've been following the tendencies of american courts in terms of the concessions they're willing to make to butt hurt Christians, it's also possible that they weren't convinced that simple lack of guilt would be enough to win this case. Or maybe they just saw that winning would cost more than losing.

Of course, none of these at least equally plausible explanations have stopped former technician Armitage and a number of other invested Christian court watchers from declaring this both a victory and an admission of guilt from the university. Which is why we've offered Andrew to take the case. What? I'm not doing that. Eli, you don't get to volunteer my legal services anytime you like. Andrew, do you just listen in on all of our recordings now?

Yeah, at this point I thought it would be best. Ooh, ooh, that reminds me. Andrew, while you're on the phone, I want to order a boy online. You know what? Honestly, that's probably smart. Glad you're, uh, good to know you're there. Yeah, I get it. Andy's busy editing now.

And in Buddhist news tonight, a Dutch tourist in Myanmar, Klaus Heitma, is facing three months in prison this week for waking up in the middle of the night and unplugging the speaker to a teenage rager. Or so he thought. Because it turns out, the noise he heard outside, which he assumed was some kids playing around, was actually a speaker broadcasting the sermon from a local Buddhist temple. I really wish I could have watched this happen. The guy just runs outside. God damn it. I've been listening to the same one-hand clapping all night.

I'm pulling the plug on this. And while that's hilarious, and you'd have to think anybody would get that and have a good laugh out of it, this is Myanmar. And for those who don't remember, Myanmar is a country that exists solely to have violent and crazy Buddhists for people to tweet at Sam Harris about. Yeah, basically there's one sense of humor in Myanmar and it's still working its way through that's what she said jokes.

And apparently their legal system is run by a Kurt Vonnegut villain. Right? Might as well be hanging him by a giant metal hook through his stomach. Hyperbole just like iran hyperbole so here's what happened soldiers had to be deployed to surround hatem's hotel room and protect him from the angry mob that had gathered around his hotel where he was arrested and convicted barring appeal of insulting, which is a crime, and was sentenced to, again, three months in jail for unplugging a speaker.

Jesus. So don't worry, Muslim apologists. Seems like for now, Myanmar is going to keep bringing that Buddhist crazy. Yeah, right. Well, they didn't cut off his fucking hand anyway. And in I bet AA meetings are awkward for people named Inigo News tonight. Thanks, I was hoping somebody would get that. We have a confluence of things that piss me off coming out of Canada this week.

Ooh, ooh, people who cut bathroom lines. People who tweet corrections they haven't Googled. Chinese people. Noah hates Chinese people. He talks about it all the time when we're not recording. Big rant during the event in scotland awkward that's this week's diatribe i changed it last minute i swapped it out all right so

and as much as two of those three things pissed me off i don't mind the bathroom line thing canadian actually talking about something else canadian atheist byron wood is suing his former employer claiming he was fired for refusing to attend Alcoholics Anonymous. And yes, the fact that people are ordered to go to a religious program is one of the aforementioned things that pisses me off. But so is the fact that AA doesn't fucking work. Right? It's pseudoscientific pop psychology bullshit. And the recidivism rate is like Trump's taxes.

If there was nothing wrong with him, he'd have fucking released him himself. like Trump's taxes. If there was nothing wrong with them, he'd have fucking released them himself. Well, in fairness, though, they might not be able to give us those numbers because somebody's currently counting them.

Oh, yeah. As we all know, you can't say a number while somebody's checking to see if you lied about a number. Yeah, which is why I feverishly start

to measure my penis whenever someone asks me how big it is. Oh, no. I'm counting right now. Auditing myself. We're in a library. library yeah a place to learn things so this story starts a few years ago when wood sought treatment for his alcoholism

he was working as a nurse at the time and agreed to enter a recovery program with the understanding he would be reinstated once it was complete and despite the program's overt religiosity wood attended for five weeks an experience he described as, quote, unhelpful and humiliating, end quote. He added, quote, there was a mentality among staff that addiction is a moral failing in need of salvation.

We were encouraged to pray, end quote. And I'll admit that Canada has the most pleasant Christian apologetics, basically just sorry, sorry, sorry, but still. Right. Also, we should point out, these programs, more often than not, are not

suck it up and go along with Aunt Stella's extra long grace because you brought your boyfriend to Thanksgiving. Right. They have, just to remind you, a step where you turn your life over to God and then they grade you on it. Exactly. Which is no doubt why

ultimately Wood quit, after which he was promptly fired. And then eventually he filed a human rights complaint against the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority and the BC's Nurses Union, claiming he was discriminated against because of his atheism. I mean, look, it's not like the guy refused to go through any treatment. He just wanted one that was based on science and worked. Or even just worked as well. You know, I'm sure he'd be willing for us to call him and yell stop drinking twice a day into the phone. And

in more like hellery news tonight, according to a recent study from the public polling policy, Trump supporters are a basket of deplorables. Yes, they are. Weird. Surprising. I know. This is the religion show, so rather than dwelling on this entire

fucking survey which is a master class in why pretending to respect stupid opinions killed this country seriously if you aren't a person who clicks the show notes stare into the bottom of the barrel that is this fucking survey sorry sorry england's currency is actually on fire and we still look stupid over here what What the fuck? As you pay for things. Dumb Americans. Anyway, according to the PPP, that's the thing

everyone was yelling about at the Democratic Convention, right? Yeah, that was the TTP. Oh! Well, I don't wipe either. Swallowing is polite. That's nice. Jesus.

Anyway, according to the survey, 41% of Trump supporters in North Carolina think Hillary Clinton is the devil. Not works for, but is the devil. But wait, wait, wait. It's okay. Because 42% of Trump supporters don't think she's the devil. It's 1%. 1% more. Oh my God think she's the devil. It's 1%. 1% more. Oh my God.

Here's the best part. 17% aren't sure if she's the devil. She's got the hooves and Alex Jones says she smells like sulfur, but that could just be something she ate. So they're skeptical. Well, but to be fair, human intellect does not have a degree

below Trump supporter in North Carolina. skeptical. Well, but to be fair, human intellect does not have a degree below Trump supporter in North Carolina. 17% of them aren't sure what those little bags under their dick are for. It's just... That's where you keep your other two dicks in case a witch steals one. Exactly, but they don't know

that. That's my point. And finally tonight, from the bisexual Native American demon exorcism file. Again. Again. We live in a country that thinks it needs bisexual Native American demon exorcisms.

I like this country so much. This was confirmed most recently after the White House hosted a speech by Victor Raymond of the Rosebud Sioux tribe, who identifies as two-spirit, which is a term often used by certain Native American groups to describe the LGBT community in general. Anyone want to take a guess how our lovely culture of Christianity responded here in America?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, small pots blankets. Small pots blankets, because those work. Those do the trick. A YouTube takedown of his opinion on video games. Hashtag fail of tears. Soon. Too soon? Too soon.

I get it. So, this was part of last month's Bisexual Awareness Week, and included Raymond's discussion of how different sexual orientations and gender expressions have been part of his culture for centuries. Well, as you predicted, all that was a giant disaster for Christian lunatics, most importantly the part when Raymond invoked the spirit of Wakan Tonka to help out with telling all the bigots to calm the fuck down. And, of course, they did not calm the fuck down, even though that probably means

Wakan Tonka isn't a real homo demon who's going to jizz in their coffee and do anything. Why don't you just crush all my dreams, Heath? Why don't you just tell me that I'll never succeed in cabaret and that it's not a pretty good size, man, while you're at it? If you're not picturing Wakan Tonka

working at a Starbucks, you're not the audience we know and loveka working at a starbucks you're not yeah so hard to choose a winner here because that's the wrong word but one particular response to raymond's speech is worth mentioning here it's an article from barbwire.com which is a hate speech version of huffpo run by ed Ed Hardy shirt personified Matt Barber. He comes from a long line of heavyweight boxers turned constitutional lawyers. Getting punched in the face is great. It is.

It is, as it turns out. And as you probably guessed, the reaction piece went crazy about how we now have an active bisexual demon floating around the White House. In addition to however many other ones they'd been tracking. And that's why they're calling for an exorcist. Also, they didn't like the insinuation by Raymond that Black Lives might matter. But most importantly, we need to deal with this demon thing. Well, but to be fair, though,

Black Lives Matter is the Secret Service code name for Obama. And what they learned on the first day of training. Okay, so this was all fun. Obviously, if we ever get some billionaire money, one of the projects that's now on the list is going to be some terrifying porn for the people over at barbwire.com. Of course, we will need a good title. Let's go ahead and put 30 seconds on the clock.

Pansexual Native American exorcism films. Go. All right. I'm going to go and everything, but I just want to let you know, billionaire money or not, Eli already has some porn that would terrify the people at barbwire.com. He used to be on barbwire.com, oddly enough. All right. All right.

Pansexual Native American exorcism. Have we done this one? I feel like we've done this one. We should look back. How about Rosemary's penis? The inner sexorcist. The closet of Dr. Caligari. The fudge packer.

Stick the grudge. Yeah. Okay. What about last to the homo hegans? The homo demon inside. That incorporates all of it yeah you got all the way across there how about the heteroflexorcism of emily rose monster designs by hr guy on geiger oh the snyder woman she'll change your name she'll change your face

one basil rathbone fan loves that shit. Right now he's like Eli, good to know. You drool. I got one more. What about exercise matters. Custer's last gland. And quick before we accidentally offend somebody, I guess we can close off the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always.

Eli's a racist. And when we come back, we'll make you feel even worse for having to miss QED this year. I'm going to sue you and Peter. Now, Mr. Hilson, this is your first conviction, so I've decided to waive the notion of jail time. Instead, I'll be sending you to a mandatory recovery program, and pending the completion of that program, you'll be a free man. Okay, that's really fantastic, Your Honor. Thank you. Yes, yes. Now, I assume you have an ISIS chapter in your area?

I'm sorry, what? An ISIS chapter? A group that you can attend regularly? Black flag squigglies on it? Arabic? Whatever, whatever. But do you have one? Um, no. I don't think there's an ISIS chapter near me in Daytona Beach.

But more importantly, isn't there another organization we could use? Mr. Hilson, I understand that not everyone is a fan of ISIS, but they are a group dedicated to stopping alcohol abuse, and I assure you, they take that job very seriously. Okay, but that's because they just don't drink alcohol. They're also religious fanatics who behead people and burn them in cages. Well, maybe skip that part.

You can skip that part. It's not about skipping that part. That's what they do. Right, but maybe you could go in the bathroom, step out for a smoke while they're doing that. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to join a group of religious fanatics because I got a DUI.

Then I'm afraid you'll be serving time in jail. Fine. All right, then. One month in ISIS jail. Fuck! All right, guys, here we are in Scotland. It's beautiful here. Just behave yourselves, all right?

Just, you know, mingle. No problem. Just hang on. Yep. Hello, friends! I'm going to tell you how I feel, how I feel. Oh, hey.

Hey, nice to meet you. I hate doing this. I'm going to have another affair. I'm sorry. Say again? Nice to meet you. I'm sorry. Say again? Yeah, no idea. No idea. All right, wait.

Let me try. Dude, how do you know that? No idea. Did you guys know that everyone here is Richard Dawkins? Hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer. We're kidding, Scotland. You're a lovely, lovely country fellow with a lovely, lovely name. They fucking combined the ball and the hair word.

They quizzed us on it. Iron Brew's delicious. Iron Brew's delicious. It is disgusting. The recent Olympics provided us with a seemingly endless flow of how bullshit is it segments. From candling to cupping to allowing countries like Italy to participate in any of the events that matter. But one of the most rampant pieces of pseudoscience is one you may not have noticed because it hides in plain sight. Sometimes it's a bracelet or earrings or even just sewn into the lining of an outfit. Now this particular brand of Wu claims to help people

stop smoking, improve balance, reduce fatigue, cure arthritis, and balance a variety of chakras and chi flows to boot. And since we all know human is to hard drive as water is to fire, you probably already know that I'm talking about magnet therapy. So I think it's time we find out once and for all, How Bullshit Is It? But before we dig into the magnitude of bullshit that makes up this very attractive piece of woo, Heath, why don't you tell us what it is?

It's me. I'm doing this one. No, no, no. Not after the Lyme disease thing. You're just jealous of my gifts. No, seriously, dude. Where the hell is Heath? He's busy.

You've done something terrible with him, haven't you? Oh, God, I don't have time for a fucking prayer. Okay, you know what? I can't believe I'm doing this. Despite my better judgment, I suppose I'll just ask you. So tell us, Eli, what is magnetic therapy? Thank you, Noah. My segment now. All right. Well, according to Merriam-Webster, magnetic therapy is the therapeutic use of magnets or magnetic fields

in the practice of alternative medicine to treat illness, relieve pain, and promote health. Okay, and how do they do that? Ah, well, you see, hemoglobin, the protein in your blood that carries oxygen, is weakly diamagnetic when oxygenated or paramagnetic when deoxygenated. So thin metal magnets are attached to the body alone or in groups. They can be worn as bracelets or necklaces, like you said, attached to adhesive patches to hold in place, placed in bands or belts, wrapped around the wrist, elbow, knee, ankle, foot, waist, lower back. There's also magnetic insoles, blankets, slumber pads. And the idea is the magnets increase blood flow and oxygen

to the area where the magnets are, as well as create a less acidic environment within the body. That sounds dubious. Oh, it is. All right, so what conditions is this used to treat? Well, like most bullshit, pretty much anything. A cursory Google found it's recommended for arthritis, cancer, circulatory disorders, diabetic neuropathy, fibromyalgia, HIV, AIDS, immune dysfunction, infection, inflammation, HIV, AIDS, immune dysfunction, infection, inflammation, insomnia, multiple sclerosis, muscle pain, neuropathy, pain, just general, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, stress, and just to increase energy and prolong life.

However, nowhere did I find a recommendation for those with Lyme disease. So... Dude, stay on task. Fair. All right. So I feel like this is pretty obvious, but does it work? No. All right.

Good answer. So why doesn't it work? Ah, okay. Well, this is actually a little trickier than what our audience probably assumes, the answer of rocks aren't magic. You see, while it's true, hemoglobin is, as I said, dia- and paramagnetic, depending on whether or not it's oxygenated, and that there have been some studies shown that hemoglobin does react to magnetic pulses, none of that has to do with magnetic therapy because the magnets they use are magnitudes too weak to affect blood flow.

This is basically the homeopathy of magnetism. I got you. homeopathy of magnetism. I gotcha. Even an MRI, which uses way more magnetic energy than your aunt's stupid bracelet, doesn't have the effect claimed by magnetic healing practitioners. Okay, well, what about the body's electromagnetic energy response? I've read that magnetic therapy is fantastic for rebalancing that. Indeed it is, because that does not exist. So yeah, balanced, like a leprechaun at Bigfoot on a teeter-totter. Uh-huh. Well, I mean, you say that, but hell, we get these giant checks from Monsanto every month to show for them. I mean, have these claims ever actually been tested scientifically?

Quite a bit, actually. In 1991, a study showed that the magnets had no effect on blood flow at the level they're used. Okay, alright. So, is magnetic therapy legal? Well, yes and no. It's not putting bleach up your kid's butthole, but like a lot of things in the U.S., you certainly can sell it, you just can't pretend it's medicine or use medicine words around it. Uh-huh. But you can, of course, use carefully chosen language to get around laws like that. Uh, for example? Uh, like, uh, do you have Lyme disease? Lyme disease is terrible. Fuck Eli Bosnick. I see. Okay, and finally, just for funsies, any idea how much this bad boy costs?

Ah, well, according to the Skeptical Inquirer, in 2006, people spent about a billion dollars that year on this stuff. Jesus. really that much considering you could rent yankee stadium fill it with marshmallow peeps rent a helicopter and then jump out of said helicopter into said stadium full of peeps for the same price with equal medicinal benefit it seems like kind of a waste not to mention that aspirin and fucking doctor's visits that people could spend that money on instead or just the fucking stadiums full of peeps yeah exactly. Exactly, you get it. Alright, so I feel like it's a bit redundant at this point, but goddammit if we aren't consistent.

So tell me, Eli. How bullshit is it? Ooh, I'm gonna go with sending in a bunch of cows to eat all those marshmallow peeps, but covered in Taco Bell fire sauce. A terrifying image indeed. Well, Eli, thanks for joining me.

Now, I'm assuming that you've hidden Heath somewhere with limited oxygen? Define limited. Oh, Jesus. Alright, let's go find him. The games have begun! That's why I'm wearing a wig. Before we left QED, I promised Andy Wilson that I'd clear up a few misconceptions that

Americans might have about England in general, and Andy Wilson in particular. So, for the record, despite what you may have heard, the food was delicious, the weather was fantastic, and I had the worst teeth of anyone we met. And also, despite what you also may have heard, Andy Wilson does not sell underage Filipino boys on Tuesdays or Thursdays, nor does he deal heroin

after 4 p.m. Jesus, what are you people doing at night? Why are your businesses closed? But in all seriousness, we had an amazing time last weekend, and we wanted to share as much of it as we could with you, partly so you could attend vicariously through us, and partly so you'll make a bit more of an effort to make your way to Manchester next year. So with that in mind, we thought we would share our top 10 QED moments. Eli, would you like to start us off?

Sure. Number 10, a little selfish, I know, but we actually got a chance to have a meal one night with the organizers and the Cogdisc guys. And I got to say, you might have been happy in your life, but you'll never be listening to Andy Wilson describe the different types of pudding to Cecil Hatton. I will never not sleep again. But see, that fucked me all up because nobody told me

that they just called dessert pudding. So the waitress comes up to me at the end and she goes, would you like a pudding? And I'm like, I'm a fucking and she goes, would you like a pudding? And I'm like, I'm a fucking grown up. Why would you ask me that? I eat solid foods.

You just saw me do it. So then they start bringing everybody cakes and pies and shit after that. And I'm like, well, why the fuck did she only offer me pudding? I'd have taken some cake.

She didn't think your teeth could handle it. Hey, hey. The two on the back left can still chew. They're not exact. I have to move the jaw back a bit. Still important to wrap your lips over the top.

Different thing. Okay, this next one's not directly related to the UK trip. So I'll start by agreeing with Noah that the food was pretty amazing and defied all the stereotypes we've been hearing. Absolutely. Anyway, one of my favorite things to do during the trip was watching Tom and Cecil watch Eli order vegan food. It was just amazing. Every single clause of every single sentence in Eli's order made their eyes glaze over more and more and more. And then Tom would just eventually reach a breaking point and become viscerally angry that meat food was being neglected in the

order and he'd accidentally shatter his fork into pieces yeah right it would crush into dust and just to give you the complete picture here we should know that eli can't order food without changing it i mean i get it i get it you're vegan save the endangered cows etc but the 11th time you hear a person ask somebody to put the soy butter in a ramekin and place it at least 11 centimeters away from the arugula it's hard not to roll your eyes far enough to see your temporal lobe is it so unreasonable to ask for a tomato juice in a chilled glass without ice with a slice of kumquat apparently the woman who worked at mcdon McDonald's thought so. All right, so number eight.

At first I had watching Heath try to squeeze into that little tiny Ryanair seat on the airplane. That was pretty fucking funny. It was ridiculous. Like it was like kindergarten. It doesn't really count as a QED moment, though.

That happened before. So I'll take the obvious one. It was like watching Shaq try to lower himself into a Hot Wheels car. It really was. So, obviously, we always have a blast when we record, but we almost never get to record from the same room. And not only did we get to do that this week, and we're actually doing it right now,

but when you add in a hundred or so fans of the show, it makes it an experience that I will never forget. It was just amazing. Absolutely. It's true. It's always a good time, and it allows me to punish the people who didn't come by doing as much visual humor as possible. Look for that on next week's game. Look for it.

Look for it. You won't see it. Funny motions. He's doing some now, by the way. He's also apparently mad that you didn't come to our hotel room in Edinburgh, so he's doing some visual humor now. It's all one show.

It's not my fault you bitches choose to listen. Number seven. Getting to talk seriously. Number seven. Getting to talk seriously about magic. I never really get to share that part of my life with this part of my life. And it was really wonderful to sort of chat with people who only know me through this show about that other part of something I really care about. Yeah.

No, I hated that I had to miss that. But you guys were on a cross from the live cognitive dissonance record. So I went upstairs and took a nap. All right. Number six, I genuinely enjoyed using the nearly infinite buying power of American dollars for a week. Right. A lot of fun. When we first arrived, I gave someone a $20 bill and it got me a wheelbarrow of 50 pound notes. Pretty sure I own several large properties in the UK now, which may include all four railroads and hotels on the greens. Holy shit. I swear though, I had so much trouble taking their money seriously.

I mean, I know it's money. I get it. Our money looks weird to them too. But every time I bought something, I felt like I just tricked the cashier. Ever since Brexit, the conversion's pretty hard. You give them a hundred dollars American and you own their business and their children. All right. So number five. This is a pretty obvious one for you. It almost made number one on my list. Learning the term cockwomble. I mean, granted, the English had

a head start on speaking English and all, so you'd expect that they'd have the best insults, but I feel like my life will now be divided into the pre and post calling people cockwomble eras. The PC and AC eras. Yes, in the era of our cockwomble, exactly. This is the simultaneously greatest insult ever and also most British insult ever.

And for the record, there seems to be a great deal of disagreement on the precise definition, but who gives a shit? It's not one of those words that needs a definition. If I call you a cockwomble, you know what I mean. Four, and

I have to say this. This was the best put-on convention I have ever been to. Amazing. Really was. Fantastic. And we got to tell Andy and Marsh this in person, but we had a lot of fans who came because they wanted to see us, they wanted to see Cogdiss, and they'd never been to a skeptical convention before,

and this was, and what was genuinely awesome about QED is that everyone I asked said to me, yes, I'm coming back next year, whether you're here or not. And that's what QED does. It creates community. You know, we were talking to someone on our second night there, and she said, you know, I don't go to skeptical meetups and cons and stuff because I feel like they're mostly just a chance for skeptics to look down their nose at people. And honestly, I've been to those conventions where there's the standard like, homeopathy is stupid, jerk off talk, and everything at QED avoided that. I mean, silly as it sounds, it was just truly an educational communal experience.

And honestly, I kind of, and no offense to any of the organizers at any of the other conventions I've been to. I've been to some really good conventions. But anyone who wants to put on an atheist or skeptical conference should have to go to QED one time just to see how it's done. I had no idea they could be done that well. Yeah, master class from Andy and Marsh and everybody involved. Yeah. Speaking of which. Number three, two words, drunk Marsh.

Oh my god, this was so much goddamn fun. So on Sunday, once the conference is finally wrapping up, and Marsh got to take off his MI6 earpiece, he finally got to relax. Which meant he proceeded to slowly drink and increase in volume, and also slowly decrease in distance from his face to yours. So by the end of the night, he's about two inches max from the face of whoever he's talking to. Now, it might sound like a bad thing if you haven't experienced this firsthand, but it's actually delightful and highly entertaining.

Oh, he's hot. Also because he's hot, especially if you're talking about how Brexit is a great idea, which he was, or how Eli looks like an adorable baby boy, and I look like a baby deer. Hey, I'm just saying,

the closest I got to late at QED was Marsh. And here's the amazing thing about Marsh. Marsh is full of fascinating information. I mean, he really is. I mean that genuinely. Super smart, super fun of fascinating information. I mean, he really is. I mean that genuinely. Super smart, super fun to talk to. But A, he's British, and therefore he's the opposite of me. But B, he spends most of his life in rooms full of assholes pretending they have a point.

There's a guy who ended homeopathy in the north of England this year by never going, fuck, I've heard this. So drunk Marsh is just the tantric orgasm of skepticism. Crystals, mate, it's so fucking... You know what I heard? He's probably like, oh, fuck you. All right, so at number two, and we've already hinted around on this in a couple of them,

but hanging out with Tom and Cecil. Honestly, if there are two more fun human beings to spend a weekend with, I have not met them. I mean, don't get me wrong, you guys are great and all, but he's always off getting laid now, and Eli, you scare me progressively more as it gets later at night. But those guys are fucking awesome.

Plus, they're loud as fuck, so I don't seem like the obnoxious American in the group. It's also nice. Being in a restaurant with Tom is like being in the background of a cartoon. Right? I want three barrels of whiskey and two dinners. Duality is not a virtue.

That's my Tom voice now. You have a lot to catch up on. Again, you should have been here. And by that I mean in our hotel room. Don't blame yourself. And I have to share one Tom and Cecil story in particular. Mostly a Tom story. I'm in my hotel room after the last day catching up on some work. blame yourself and i have to share one tom and cecil story in particular mostly a tom story i'm

in my hotel room after the last day catching up on some work and eli texted me that aaron with the skeptic zone podcast wanted to get a few minutes on the microphone with us which we nailed by the way absolutely one take no edits we each caught a fly with chopsticks great show again you had to be in a place that's all possibly been yeah exactly but trust us this is all really funny stuff so i head down to the bar to meet up with everybody, and I'm still two floors away in the elevator when I start hearing Tom's laugh. So I walk in the bar.

Tom, I am not exaggerating at all. Tom is laying on the floor, feet in the air, tears in his eyes, filling the city of Manchester with laughter because Eli had just told him the Queen owned all of England's swans. She sort of does. Well, and this fact

will apparently never stop being funny to Tom. But I just say, you know, the Queen owns all the swans, so Cecil Googles it

and when he finds it, Tom laughed harder than I have ever seen him laugh. He army crawled across the floor with his mouth. He may never recover. I can't imagine how he would yeah okay number one and i think this is true of all of us meeting listeners ah absolutely i speak

for all of us when i say we're always pretty blown away by like anyone who says they love our stuff but meeting you in person when i've only gotten like an email from you in the past or interacted on Facebook or Twitter is absolutely mind blowing. And it's mind blowing to know that this thing that is so often just the three of us sitting around making each other laugh goes out to actual living, breathing human beings. I cannot express what it means in the moment. And I certainly won't do it here, but genuinely it means the world to us and I am overwhelmed with imposter syndrome and I apologize for my handwriting if I sign something. Also, none of you had sex with me.

None of you had sex with Heath. At the same time. It's fine. I'm not mad. I'm just going to hang around the elevators more. I can't believe you still have to ask what's wrong with his voice. So, yeah, to Wooly, Susanna, Hannah, James, Paul, Lisa, and Ruth, andily and and all the other amazing fans that we've had over the weekend thanks so much for making the 3 300 mile trip

so worthwhile thanks to the uk more generally for being such good hosts but most of all thanks to the ass hats that voted leave so that our money would be worth almost twice as much as it was six months before we left i bought a, but it died in my suitcase. Dude, what did Andrew just say? He died in my suitcase. He came that way. Dying. It's time for the part of the show that comes next,

the listener feedback. This is the part of the show that winds you down for the outro. So our first message comes from a bunch of people who have hearing comprehension issues. A lot of people wrote in to ask us why we didn't roast the person that they donated for for a roast of, and some of them were even polite about it. So to be clear, and hopefully more clear than we were when we said exactly this at the end of our last Vulgarity for Charity segment that we did, we were a bit overwhelmed by the response and still have over 100 people to roast when we wrapped things up. So if you didn't get your roast, fear not and email not.

We split the remaining names between us and Tom and Cecil and we're going to be knocking them over over the next couple of weeks. And I guess while we're on the subject, gentlemen, you want to knock a few out right now? All right, absolutely. Let's do it. while we're on the subject. Gentlemen, you want to knock a few out right now? All right, absolutely. Let's do it.

Okay, so we got a donation from Robert asking us to roast his cousin Dave, who looks like he should be the mascot for a vegan pizza restaurant in Brooklyn. Seriously, this guy sounds like his catchphrase is, I saw Mussolini before he sold out. We also got a donation from Kenny asking us to roast the Android operating system. And as a lifelong Mac user, I got this one.

Android is like me trying to convince someone to sleep with me. Sure, I don't have abs and my dick has been described as an innie, but who are these skin tags, huh? Customizable. And Android prides itself on how customizable it is, which is code for we sent you all the pieces and you get to glue them together. Android, you'll never be as cool as Apple, and your interface is so confusing it made the galaxy explode. All right, I got one as well. We got a donation from Pete asking us to roast his wife, Cheryl.

Cheryl looks like the double white of Chucky. She looks like what the Gingers Have Soul Kids mom has been doing while he makes those videos alone in his backyard. And Pete, I know she tells you that the thing that she does where a bunch of women go out and come back with sore forearms is roller derby, but I hate to break it to you. It isn't. And again, if you didn't get your roast, be sure to email us and remind us. We forgot you. Reminding us will help.

And whatever you do, don't be nice about it. The bigger a dick you are, the more inspired we will be to help you out. Right. We also had a tweet from someone assuring me they can't wait for Trump to get elected so they can start listening to our show again. What the fuck did that even mean? No idea. And look, maybe this is a joke. It's hard to tell because they either tweeted two very committed anti-Hillary jokes.

But if Trump gets elected, we're not going to stop talking about him. Probably quite the opposite. So yeah, feel free to stop listening to the show now if you'd hope we'd have less to say if Trump wins. I mean, at least not until his special brand of brown shirts come and re-educate us at least. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

There are a number of lovely things you could throw yourself off of as well. If that's what you meant. If that's not what you meant, I just didn't get your joke. And finally, we got a lot more feedback we expected from folks who used to get the show on Libsyn, like just online, they bring it up on their browser, or otherwise have had some trouble updating their feed since we switched

over. And if you're listening to this, ironically, you probably figured that out already, But in case you didn't, the straight web version is now on audio boom. And if your RSS feed is having trouble, like the number one fix we've found for pretty much every podcast player is to delete the show and then reinstall it on the player of your choice. Yeah, right. Just resubscribe. Right. And remember, if you're having an audio problem and nobody else is, the problem is you. What's that?

Oh, that's a good point. No, no, no. It's not a good point. It's not a good problem. The problem is you. It always turns out to be you. But not before I message Noah while he's fucking sleeping to fix it. We call nine tech support reps and he calls one of them an N-word and we kill a bear with a harpoon.

And a lady yells at us about Polish people. You can send me any problems that you're having. I would be happy to help you out if you're having trouble getting the show. I'm on my space if you need me as well. And that's all the feedback you get. If you want more, keep sending us those emails, tweets, and Facebook messages. You'll find all the contact info on the contact page at ScathingAtheist.com. For more info on the contact page at we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long,

be on the lookout for a new episode of Incredulous featuring us and the guys from Cognitive Dissonance. Hate to use the word soon when we're talking about Incredulous, but it's definitely coming eventually. Between now and then, you can also check out a brand new episode of our sister show, Godawful Movies, also recorded live at QED, debuting on Tuesday at 8 a.m. Eastern Time. Obviously, this would be a sad excuse for an outro if I didn't thank Heath for working on planes, trains, and automobiles just to make sure this episode came out on time. I need to thank Eli for not getting me arrested at

customs and also for working his ass off all week. I need to thank the lovely Lucinda for being a fucking saint about not getting to tag along on our UK trip. I also want to thank Falcon from the Secularist Sanctuary podcast for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. If you'd like to check out his show, I'll have it linked in the show notes. But most of all, of course, I need to thank this week's most magnificent mammals. Tim, the Science Enthusiast podcast, Mark, Daniel, Peter, Travis, Chris, David, Matan, Alex, Sarah, Bob, Daly, Xena, Murphy, Tori, other David, Sean, Aaron, Matthew, Clifton, Jackie, Quazitz, Christina, Sebastian, Nene's Coffee, Christian, Storm of Logic, Jeremy, Other Mark, Other Other Mark, and James.

Tim, the Science Enthusiast Podcast, Mark, Daniel, Peter, Travis, Chris, David, Mattan, and Alex, whose cocks are so big they have to promise the channel just the tip. Xena, Sarah, Bob, Dale, and Murphy, Tori, Other David, Sean, Aaron, Matthew, Clifton, and Jackie are so sexy the guards at Buckingham Palace get in trouble when they walk by. And Quazits, Christina, Nene's Coffee, Christian, Storm of Logic, Jeremy, Other Mark, Other Other Mark, James, and Sebastian, whose intellects are so comparatively massive they had to change the name of that clock tower to Ben. Together, these 32 people, podcasts, coffee shops, and meteorological mentalities have

aided in our battle against bad ideas this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the power, keen detection skills, and ability to banter well with supervillains that it takes to give us money, but if you think you're up to the challenge, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free edition of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com.

And if you'd like to help, but you're afraid we'll piss all your money away on fish and chips, you can also help us a ton by leaving us a five-star review on iTunes, telling a friend about the show, or supporting our sponsors, unless they played another Donald Trump ad, in which case, definitely don't support our sponsor. If you have questions, have questions comments or death threats you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com all the music used in this episode was written and performed by yours truly and yes i did have my permission But first, the diatribe.

Diatribe, it is not a virtue. See, that's one of them. Should have come on our trip. All right, the hardest part of Eli's week is over. Go off. Stop. Go off. Maybe we shouldn't. Go on. Stop. Go on. Maybe we shouldn't

always record together. I always thought that that would be a great idea, but maybe it's... Maybe it's not. Goddamn professional. The preceding podcast

was a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC, copyright 2016, all rights reserved.