The Scathing Atheist - ScathingAtheist 198: Secular Activist Edition

Episode Date: December 1, 2016

In this week’s episode, Dolores Umbridge gets appointed secretary of education, Heath consumes five leftover sandwiches during the recording, and Dan Arel joins us from the pre-nation of California to talk secular activism. For tickets to God Awful Movies live in Chicago on 1/13, follow this link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-with-cognitive-dissonance-tickets-29713113723 To learn more about Dogma Debate’s 24 hour broadcast, click here: http://dogmadebate.com/ To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy your discounted version of the ebook, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies Guest Links: To pick up a copy of Dan’s book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Secular-Activist-How-Protecting-between/dp/1634310942 To check out Dan’s blog, Danthropology, click here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/danthropology/ To check out Dan’s podcast, click here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/danthropology/podcast-2/ Headlines: Trump nominates opposite of education for secretary of education: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/23/secretary-of-education-pick-betsy-devos-may-be-a-disaster-for-churchstate-separation/ Jerry junior says trump offered him Secretary of Education position: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/26/jerry-falwell-jr-donald-trump-offered-me-the-secretary-of-education-job-but-i-turned-it-down/ Spanish judge allows atheist to spell “pederasts” with communion wafers: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/19/spanish-judge-rules-in-favor-of-artist-who-spelled-pederasty-with-consecrated-communion-wafers/ South african pastor sprays people with insect repellant http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/22/south-african-pastor-allegedly-sprays-insect-repellent-on-followers-to-heal-them/ Christian coffee shop denied tax exempt status http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/27/the-irs-denied-tax-exemption-to-a-church-that-was-really-just-a-coffee-shop/ Australian commission: J-Dubs don’t do enough to protect kids from abuse: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/28/australian-commission-report-jehovahs-witnesses-do-not-adequately-protect-kids-from-child-abuse/ Anti abortion rom com! http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/11/23/the-trailer-for-this-anti-abortion-rom-com-shows-that-christian-films-can-indeed-get-worse/

Warning, the following podcast contains language that may be offensive to people who are offended by the language contained in the following podcast. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the National Public School System. That's the thing with all the underpaid teachers, and they give about 90% of American children a chance at a future by dedica- Hold on, sorry, wait. We're told they just ran out of money. Never mind. And now, the Scathing Atheist. Well, it's another beautiful day in San Diego. My name's Wiley

with the East County Evangelical Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men. It's Thursday. It's December 1st. And Donald Trump probably thinks this show is illegal. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick.

I'm Heath Enright. And from New York, New York, Secret Lair, Pennsylvania, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Dolores Umbridge gets appointed Secretary of Education. I personally consume five leftover sandwiches during the recording. And Dan Arrow will join us from the pre-nation of California to talk secular activism. But first, the diatribe. If you could reduce the last thousand years of theological history into the span of a single conversation, it would just be a bad liar saying, that's not what I meant a lot. You know, this happens over lifetime, so we can't exactly turn to one another and say,

but you remember when that thing you said was God turned out to just be the wind. But if you imagine two immortals that have been having the God argument for a while, you can imagine how embarrassing the last few centuries would have been for the God guy, right? And that's the most frustrating thing about trying to nail down the God question. Their goalposts move so often they have stickers on them reminding them when the next due date for an oil change is. It'd be more obvious if it didn't happen over such large timescales, but when they wrote the Quran, the contemporary equivalent of, you know, how did something come from nothing was, well, how do you explain these drops of water falling out of the sky? And when you're trying to debate a group that has no

compunction about shifting the goalposts, you might as well be waiting at the finish line for Zeno's runner. You know, and that's why more and more atheists are just giving up on engaging in the latest bullshit apologetics. And there are still patient atheist logicians out there that tackle the latest nonsense like you might tackle a Sudoku, but there's no serious argument left on the rational front. We've won all of those arguments. I mean, sure, religious people still have a bunch of questions, but the answers are all out there waiting for them if they want them. And even if they don't want them, they're becoming increasingly difficult to avoid. So over the last several years, there's been this noticeable shift in tactics within the atheist community. As the apologetics have grown ever more ridiculous,

and as Ray Comfort's attempt to misunderstand plain English explanation for the things he pretends to be baffled by have grown increasingly forced, we've started to move away from the intellectual front and more towards the marketing front. And that makes sense, right? A lot of atheists look at this like a product that isn't selling despite being demonstrably better than the competition. You imagine a shelf in a grocery store with Catholicism and Mormonism and Hinduism and Scientology and often one corner of one shelf is this box of atheism gathering dust despite being the only thing in the aisle that actually works, that actually does what it says it does on a fucking box.

The God hypothesis has failed in pretty much every way you can imagine, no matter how they dressed it up. And meanwhile, the atheistic worldview has been continuously validated by every discovery that failed to turn up evidence for a God. So sure, in a lot of ways, thinking about this like a marketing problem is a good paradigm, but it can also lead you into a lot of common pitfalls because we're not selling a product. You know, the better analogy would be the actual aisle in the store that sells homeopathic treatments. We're not trying to get people to buy our thing instead of the other thing. We're trying to get people to pass up that aisle. And that may seem like a distinction without a difference at first, but thinking of atheism as

a product in need of a sales force has let us down some pretty sketchy paths before. Remember the Bright's thing? Kind of hope you don't, but Google it if you want to see atheist marketing gone awry. Trying to sell atheism leads us to dress shit up in flowery language that it doesn't deserve. It obliges us to entertain questions that aren't really in need of answers. It requires that we layer additional shit onto our disbelief and confuse the actual definition of atheism. And perhaps worst of all, it forces us to focus on something other than the fact that the other guys are demonstrably wrong. Now, that's not to say we should ignore the vast libraries of research and interpretation that marketing can provide for us, right? Billions of dollars have been spent researching the most effective way to get your message across, and I wouldn't want us to miss out on that vast resource.

So I have no doubt that there are important lessons we can pluck from the marketing literature, but as we do, let's not lose sight of the fact that we have neither product nor service to sell. Of course, there is a whole wing of marketing dedicated to exactly our situation, perhaps best exemplified by the public service announcement, right? When your message is stop smoking cigarettes, it's probably not because you're trying to sell more Chuli's gum. And it's important that we recognize this distinction because there are tactics that one would use to dissuade a purchase that one would never use to sell something. You know, I think about the anti-smoking ads you see with all their amputated fingers and tracheotomies.

It's hard to imagine Ford putting out an ad that shows somebody got horribly mangled in a bicycle accident with the tagline, should have driven instead, right? In the same way, you can't imagine the orange juice conglomerates putting out an ad that says, well, you'd have to be some kind of fucktard to think that milk does a body good.

But that doesn't mean the atheist shouldn't point out what a fucktard you'd have to be to take Noah's Ark, literally. See, I get a lot of emails that take me to task for using such divisive language. Last week, I gave a whole talk over Skype to an atheist group in Oklahoma on the subject of why it's okay to call religion stupid. And despite having a full 45 minutes to present my case in a Q&A, I never mentioned the key justification, right? Religion is stupid. minutes to present my case in a Q&A. I never mentioned the key justification, right? Religion is stupid. That's a factually accurate statement and one with some import, as it turns out. And look, I'm not telling anyone to get out there and start being more insulting. We need every voice doing what they do best. It just so happens that what I do best is say religion is stupid in

numerous and amusing ways. So that's what I'm going to use my voice to do. And if you think that there's another way that's more effective, I invite you to speak out as loudly as you can and try to drown me out. I would support you all the way. I would help you. I would genuinely love to see you succeed. And in the meantime and afterwards, I'll be calling Pat Robertson an anthropomorphic ball sack because that's what I do. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are a couple of brigadiers in the war on Christmas, Heath

Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to let slip the reindeers of war? I actually love Christmas. It's fucking great. All this happy holidays stuff It's regressive left nonsense There can be only one

I see I go to Christian bookstores and then when they wrap up My hundreds of dollars of purchases I tell them I'm an atheist It's the best they don't know what to do I don't I get them That gives us a subject for after the record.

But before we get into all the headlines and everything, I did have two quick announcements I wanted to make. If you missed our live God Awful Movies record in New York and in England, you're going to get another crack at us in January. We're teaming up with Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance for a live show in the Windy City on Friday, January 13th at the Victory Gardens Biograph Theater. Tickets are on sale now.

We would love to see you there in Chicago. You'll find links to buy tickets on the show notes and on our Facebook page. Also check out our new Kickstarter. We're hoping to raise enough money for a large trailer of real pizza to bring for everyone. It's all about charity.

Tom is there, so it's going to be more of a U-Haul truck than a trailer, really. It's going to be an aircraft carrier. Also, I should point out that we sold 50 tickets before this recording just by posting on our Facebooks. This show will sell out, and we want to see you there. So, like, pause the podcast, buy your tickets. Like, a ton of people wrote us after the New York show,. We're like, oh, no, we're sold out. It's like, seriously, do it.

I was trapped in time waiting the whole time. No, I'm just kidding. Be recording. We have fun. I'm not inside your phone. What if I was just a tiny man? I'd do weird sex stuff to you. I'd do weird sex stuff.

And that's how you know he's not. The second announcement was about a fundraiser coming up this weekend. David Smalley hasn't learned his lesson about these 24-hour broadcast-a-thons, apparently. So he's doing another one this year. This time they're raising money for the secular summer camp program Camp Quest, a charity that I very, very much believe in. It's going to be 24 hours starting on Saturday, December 3rd at 5 p.m. Eastern time. You can pledge at any time, but you should pledge between 10 and 11 Eastern time on Saturday

because that's when I'm going to be on, and our hour raised the most money last year, and it's like a big bragging rights thing. We want to be repeating champions. So you'll find more info on that at dogmadebate.com. Yeah, or give us pizza money. I mean, it's more important, so I'll tell you, it's the pizza money.

It's the pizza money. Maybe donate to the fucking stupid kids or also whatever. They let Jews there. It's not even like an only atheist. It's fine. It's fine. I'm just saying we've put our differences aside with Camp Quest to help them out. And by differences, I mean them calling certain members of our group sex offender status as quote-unquote disqualifying

and their refusal to let me teach a tickling class so again we're the bigger men here look look it would have helped if you had warned her about the demonstration beforehand and i told you that i told you if you want that i'm not you're not even good at tickling whatever you want to teach a class anyway in our lead story tonight, Donald Trump managed to find someone simultaneously less qualified and more terrifying than Ben Carson to run the Department of Education. Now, we already talked about this wacky bitch on The Skeptocrat this week, so I apologize if it seems like I'm going on about this, but putting Betsy DeVos in charge of education would be like asking Heath how to get to Soho.

All right. All right. Two plus two is five. Keep saying it. It's fine. It would be like asking Eli how to get to soho all right all right two plus two is five keep saying it would be like asking eli how to get to soho she has no degree in education she has no experience in education she's never attended a public school nor has she ever enrolled a kid in one and from her public statements on the subject it doesn't seem like she really believes in public education like like like as a concept yeah which to be fair really does seem to fit trump's mo at this point his whole thing was he's not a politician his secretary of education

doesn't believe in education gonna call it now secretary of defense the quaker oats guy like who the fuck cares sure he'll try to get him confirmed you guys know the nazis are back no i've seen a lot of memes floating around about old betsy and some of them overstate her lack of experience amazingly enough and i want to correct a few of those but mostly because the truth is actually scarier than lacking experience so yes she damn near donated eight figures to donald trump's campaign and yes this is transparent political payola but it's not scary because this chick has no idea what she's doing it's scary because she has all kinds of ideas and they're fucking insane she spent the bulk of her time and effort over the

last decades promoting school voucher programs school privatization and some kind of mortar dissolving agent for the wall of separation so yeah i'm a little less worried about the nine and a half million she donated to the trump campaign and a little more worried about the 200 million that she's donated to Christian schools. Yeah. So she's a billionaire. And I guess that could be a sign. She's a sharp business mind or something like that.

But much like the next president, she's not. She married into the Amway fortune. That's where most of those billions came. So I'm guessing the new school system, it's just going to be like kids going around tricking eight people into selling textbooks for them. Getting a cut for each new level of underlings. It's not a great model. No. And for those unfamiliar with a

voucher system, a voucher system is basically letting a not-school pretend it's a school often with government money. So, for instance, if you're a Christian school and your science class has only one textbook, wink, and it recommends the murder of witches, generally the concept is, no, that's not a school.

You can't have money that we dedicate for schools for that. But with vouchers, they just throw all that out the window. And what Devos is suggesting is not only should that count as a school, but keeping your kid at home to tell them they're all going to laugh at you until they use their telekinetic powers to kill you should also count as a school and be publicly funded. Well, right, right. OK, so here's one relevant item on her education secretary resume. architects of Detroit's charter school system, which, according to a New York Times report, quote, even charter advocates acknowledge is the biggest school reform disaster in the country, end quote. Of course, this is all cloaked in terms like school choice, but the relevant choice, as far as Miss DeVos is concerned, seems to be the choice to apply public funds to religious

fucking schools. And if you take away public public schools then people who aren't rich have no school choice fuck how is this complicated right school choice is your thing it's not there this is good honestly because like my last hope was the next generation and i feel like if we fuck education we literally can't make better people and i like it here at Rock Bottom. It's cool. And it's quiet. I can feel the stones against my face. It's calm here. No vertigo. No chance of vertigo.

Yeah. And while I don't want to damn Betsy by association here, or at least association with anybody other than Donald Trump, it's worth noting that her family has a long and storied history of supporting anti-LGBT causes, and she's never made any public effort to distance herself from said causes. And as evidence of how little I want to damn her by association, by the way, I should point out that I didn't even mention that her brother was the founder of real-life G.I. Joe bad guy squad Blackwater. Which has a very similar model to the school program she wants. Hey, is your military not killing enough citizens come on down to black water we're the bad guys in a sci-fi movie and in things could have been worse news tonight

yet undiscovered viral video of woman freaking out at best by betsy devos might be a terrible theocratic and terrifying choice for secretary of education, but according to Jerry Falwell Jr., it could have been worse. It could have been him. Yep. Can you imagine the list of candidates we didn't hear about? I don't want to. Oh, my God. Trump's just talking to his advisors.

What about that guy Spicoli? Fictional character, sir. Fictional. Shit. Shit. Okay. What about that guy Spicoli? Fictional character, sir. Fictional. Shit. Shit. Okay. What about that big brother guy from 1984, sir? What?

No. No. It's a reality show from like 1997 or like 2000. Also fictional, sir. Damn it. All right. Jerry Falwell? Died.

Right. Right. Right. Does he have a shitty son? He does have a shitty son. Well done, sir. We got it. There's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't run the Department of Veteran Affairs.

Oh, I would so take a dog over Betsy DeVos. I would actively campaign for a dog over Betsy DeVos. And I wish this was more of an exaggeration, but Madge is equally qualified. Absolutely. She has given zero money to anti-MGBT causes. That's right. So according to the Associated Press, Trump offered Falwell the job last week during a meeting in New York, but he wanted a four to six year commitment and Falwell couldn't leave Liberty University where he currently stops people from learning for more than two. What the fuck is Jerry Falwell Jr. gambling on here? He wants a short term contract like Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Just in case Goldman Sachs wants a portfolio manager in two years. He's on LinkedIn. He thinks he's going to hit it big. Well, to be fair, some things you just can't say outright. And Brie Larson would starve to death in that little shed in way less than four to six years. This is not exactly something you can ask your neighbors. Hey, could you feed my... No, no.

Strong disagree. It takes a village. But this scenario brings up several questions. One, where did Trump get the number four to six? I mean, four, I get it. That's how long he'll be president. Seems like minimum commitment. But he's saying you'd only have to do like time and a half for good behavior?

Yeah, right. Also, what was Falwell expecting? How long do secretaries of education serve? I mean, it doesn't look like there's a standard from the basic Googling I did, but you just kind of assume it's for as long as the president is the president, right? Unless you fuck it up. Yeah. I guess if you know the apocalypse is coming, it could make sense. But yeah, otherwise.

And secondly, and this is the thing that really occurred to me in researching this and more importantly this is now like the 18th person to turn down the trump administration with a lame excuse like ben carson like remembered he had no place in politics even though he went back on it later and now falwell's like oh four years huh I got a thing in year three, so... No can do, buddy. Sorry. It's like Trump is me and his cabinet picks are all the women who wouldn't sleep with me in college. Especially because I had sex with Steve Bannon in college. In my defense, I thought he was George Lucas.

Well, there you go. But you are so funny, though. Super funny. But no. Wait, wait one two minutes max and pizza okay okay and he's like no that's how i was gonna do it anyway so sure yeah but but that's all besides the point either way in this crazy horror wishmaster circus of a cabinet we all might be in a shark tank but it could have been filled with piranhas. Piranhas that watch Game of Thrones but haven't read the books.

It could have been worse. My point is, it could have been worse. I'm trying to do good news. We read the news and we're like, it's a comedy. I'm just trying to, I'm giving you some.

And we thank you for it. And in Raplethorpe news tonight, a whole bunch of child molesters and their management team and their strangely large group of followers are – He's talking about us. No. He's – no. No.

No. The people I'm talking about, they're very offended by a recent art exhibition in Spain that called attention to all the child molesting. They're offended by that. OK. False alarm. It's the Catholics again. Usually. Yeah. With the child molesters. They're offended by that. Okay, false alarm. It's the Catholics again. Usually with the child molesters. Yeah, to be more specific.

So the artist in question is Abel Azcona, and his project is both simple and fantastic. First, he went to Catholic services and collected hundreds of communion wafers. Then he took a series of nude photos of himself while he arranged the wafers into Then he took a series of nude photos of himself while he arranged the wafers into the word pederastia, Spanish for

pederasts. And suffice to say, those pederastia are not happy about it. Macaronic nailed it. And so they sued him. They took his ass to court, which is yet another example of the Catholic Church being more offended about people making fun of the kid fucking

than they are about the kid fucking. Right? I mean, think about it. As they were taking this guy to court, they were keeping actual pederasts out of court. How the hell is Catholic even still a thing? Oh, there's just a Catholic Mark Ruffalo somewhere.

It's not just a few bad apples. We gotta teach those artists they can't do this shit. We gotta take them down. We gotta take them down. Well, yeah, something like that. So, apparently the laws in Spain are fucking absurd, and this guy was somehow

taken to court for the crime of blasphemy. What? Which is a thing they have in Spain. Fuck Spain. It's actually illegal in Spain to quote, treat something sacred without due respect and quote, but fortunately for Mr. Ascona, the artist,

the Catholic church and their magical Triscuits aren't really do any respect. Yeah, right. And the judge agreed. So the charges were rejected in the ruling. He pointed out that we shouldn't be confusing so-called lack of respect with all the things you can do with a cracker that aren't pretending it's the flesh of a 2 000 year old dead jewish guy because that would be insane some guy this was his monday he just had to like write legal reasons for why going to jail for crackers.

Yep. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's worth noting, by the way, that he eventually sold the exhibit for $286,000. Fantastic. So if anybody should be suing this guy for blasphemy, it should be the real artists who know how to paint and sculpt this shit. Guys, we're in the wrong business. I'm going to go steal some foreskins from my local moil right now. I've got a moil.

Everyone's got a moil. It's a New York thing. You wouldn't get it. To be fair, I think you have to go to a service that gives the foreskins away freely, but I'm sure you'll be able to find it. Yeah, I've got a guy.

All right, so one last thing. I'm pretty sure this judge did actually feel bad for all the offended Catholic people, at least a little bit. I guess who are the real victims here besides the rape kids. That was a while ago. I don't speak much Spanish, but as close as I can tell, the official ruling ended with the judge holding up the world's smallest violin and playing really sad music for all the child rapers who got so viciously lampooned here. So I guess we call it even now. Yeah. And in no African way news tonight, in a continuing effort to prove Noah's theory about a secret bet among African pastors about what they could get away with doing to their congregations, African pastor Lethebo Rabalago, who listeners may remember from putting a giant speaker on a lady and killing her earlier this year,

posted a picture of himself spraying a lady in the face with doom insect repellent to cure her ulcer. By depriving it of a host? That's one way. Right. Alright, so new Patreon goal. The second we find out this pastor has like a sneeze, we're flying to Africa

spraying him in the face with poison, crushing him with a speaker, running him over with a car, and feeding him more motor oil. That's what we're doing. Snakes, yeah. No, but I feel like that was kind of implied by live tour, which was already a goal. But sure, we'll spell it out a little more specifically on Patreon, I guess. The Facebook post, which very clearly shows him spraying a congregant in the face with the following caption,

says, quote, The prophet called sick people to come forward. She went to the fourth and told the prophet that she suffers from ulcer. The prophet sprayed doom on her and she received her healing and deliverance. We give God the glory. End quote. This actually explains some of the porn I watch. I guess lots of African women, they probably have face and breast cancer.

So I get it heath for the third time you need to see a doctor about the fact that you come bug spray i mean damn handy for the ladies at reason con don't don't be swayed mosquitoes huge pain in north carolina i'm just saying you are ill you need to see a doctor it's it's like um it's like a mutant power i would say i don't think i'm a doctor i think it's a i'm the next step and it's a spray it's a mist it's very clearly a mist it's fine they'll find out themselves so uh i'm not sure what i love most about this story uh one in the photo which i highly recommend checking out there's a woman in line behind the woman being sprayed in the face and there is no more clear photo on earth

of someone who has just changed their mind about needing miracles it's right um no i'm better and two the fact that this guy just seems to be doubling down on crazy like i feel like this guy is just some poor actor trapped in a prank show pilot waiting for the producers to jump out. Just like, guys, guys, I sprayed a lady with poison. All right. Welcome to Punk'd. Punk'd.

And while we update our craziest shit an African pastor could do without getting kicked in the nuts betting board, we'll pause for a quick break and hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. A man wrote the Bible? A whore is what she was. If it's a legitimate rape... Then it's a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey! I'm proud of a man!

This week in Misogyny. You know, it was an oddly quiet news week for me. No laws in the Middle East making it legal to rape your wife if she blinks too often. No particularly egregious Oklahoma trap laws trying to be pushed by the bad universe version of Andrew. I mean, don't get me wrong. Things are terrible and that stuff is always happening to greater or lesser degrees. But this week, as far as my bit goes, this was a pretty slow news week. Except for one story.

The plane asshole. Y'all saw this, right? Guy gets on a plane and starts shouting about how Trump won. Hooray, hooray. Of course, it's 2016. So someone whips out their phone and records this dick screaming and calling women Hillary bitches. And I mean, yeah, if this asshole had been even the slightest shade of brown, nine air marshals would have jumped on him and the third of the city would have shut down. Hell, if we're being honest, if this dude were pretty much anything but white, they would have kicked him off the plane. But instead, he just got in his seat

and continued on his journey. Since then, of course, Delta has banned the passenger for life, and he's gotten all the consequences of being a dick on video for tens of millions of people. But this brought something to mind that I've been wanting to say about the recent increase of hate-related events since Trump has been elected. Right now, the assholes are emboldened. The assholes are emboldened across the board. Hell, pretty much every one of us woke up to a mocking tweet or Facebook message on Wednesday after the election. Social media was a flutter with Trump supporters who suddenly felt validated and emboldened. But it's important that we understand so that we can help them understand. This is not their world.

Election or no, this isn't suddenly their country. They are not the majority. And screaming on planes or painting swastikas on walls still makes them insufferable dicks. And look, I'm not telling you this because I don't think you know, but I've seen a lot of people, people on our side, wringing their hands and writing think pieces that ask some variation of the same misinformed question. Were we too mean? Did we ask the racist nicely? Did we request vaginal autonomy and a little TNF voice? What's it like inside the mind of rural farmer who's pretty sure that blacks are mostly criminals? And the answer to all of those questions is, again, no, no, no, and nobody

does or should give a fuck. This election was lost by third-party voters, a lackluster Democratic candidate, and low voter turnout. It was lost by an archaic system that values a vote in Wyoming way more than a vote in California. And sure, angry white men ultimately got their candidate, but not because they're in the majority. And look, I get it. I truly understand the urge to turn inward and ask what we could be doing differently. After all, we just watched Republicans refuse to do anything at all for eight years. So changing them seems like an impossible task. So we're looking for ways to change ourselves. But we shouldn't be. And we can't afford to be. And we don't have to. The assholes that voted for Trump have been there the whole time, and they'll always be there. We've managed to make a lot of social

progress around them before, and we'll do so again. But no matter what they tell you, it's important to remember that the assholes are emboldened, but that doesn't mean we created them. And with that, I'll wrap up my pep talk and hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in Jesus Loves You a Latte news tonight, according to Forbes, an unknown Christian coffee shop lost their tax-exempt

status as a church this year for being a coffee shop. I do like this precedent, though. I know lots of churches that are way too much like a church. So let's get it going. Here's the story. The unnamed venue, which we'll just call Minna Starbucks, was apparently a venue dedicated to spreading the gospel, having a place for Christians to meet, and they had planned on giving away 100% of their profits. So they thought they were like a church and won. Yeah, exactly. Apparently, they thought that the fact that they were planning on giving away the profits meant it was a charity and they didn't have to pay taxes. profits meant it was a charity and they didn't have to pay taxes well first of all if you give away all your profits your taxes become zero so you don't need an exemption and secondly if you're

planning on giving the money away to charitable endeavors why would you try to avoid giving some of it to the guys who do the roads and police and fire and welfare, child services, military parks, etc., etc. Seriously, when you hear their plan, it sounds like the first three meetings we had with our accountant before I wasn't allowed to come to those meetings anymore. You asked if you could have the taxes of anyone you murdered. I believe the phrasing was vanquished in single combat, but yes. And Tony never answered my question question so still up in the air as far as i'm concerned no spot for that on turbo tax should tell you something and here's what's

so crazy about this story when i was researching this story and i picked this story because i was like church and coffee puns this will be fun. But I found myself sympathizing with the fucking coffee shop. Not because it isn't stupid as shit, but because it's markedly less stupid than other churches. At least this place had espresso. Right. The IRS is taking away their perks, so to speak. So there's actually a real thing happening there, though. I got to admit. Yeah, the espresso. That actually a real thing happening there though i gotta admit yeah

the espresso that's a real thing good point um so maybe just text the mormon ones i mean i could deal with the bigamy and the racism but decaf espresso seriously go fuck yourself it helps me kidding me after dinner let it go that was your same excuse for octopus porn you can't just use the same excuse every time a lot of things help time. A lot of things help me poop. A lot of things help me poop. Hashtag a lot of things help me poop. I need some solidarity. And again, like, as I was researching this story, I had this real moment of crisis because,

like, I'm reading about all the cutesy shit they did, like Christian Poetry Night and, like, community service projects. And twice a year you could pay for the next person's coffee and the barista would say, cutesy shit they did like Christian poetry night and like community service projects. And twice a year you could pay for the next person's coffee and the barista would say, your coffee's been paid for the way Jesus died for your sins. And I was like, this is dumb. But I also thought, God, this is so much nicer than Steven Anderson. This is so much nicer than using money to cover up rape. That's true. But either way,

I'm glad the IRS is doing some tiny portion of their job as it relates to religion stuff. That's good. Although, I just had a thought. Hear me out. Our company does lots of coffee and Bible studying. Plus, we do the Quran and we insult people for charity

and very little child rape. Relatively speaking. Eli's new. I mean, should we really have to pay for roads and stuff? Think about it. Right, and look, I mean, if the proposal on the table was we get to tax the churches,

but we have to make small businesses exempt if they're cutesy enough, I would take that. That would be a better way to go. I'd take that as well. Just picturing Andrew in like a monocle and a pinafore with the irs then this is where we keep the butterscotch no gods and also i want to clarify before i wrap this up don't get me wrong i am sure if i wandered around

cozy up to christ for long enough someone would mention like traditional marriage i'm sure someone fundraised for like save the unborn babies but like what does it say about a country where the tax system is so fucked up so twisted that i was rooting for spend eternity out of la vaza because these people had mochas and then what's a kid got to do to get shunned around here in news the world leader and child abuse commissions australia released a new report this week highlighting the abysmal job the jehovah's witnesses are doing at protecting kids from child abuse according to the 110 page report the royal commission into institutional responses to child sex abuse had 110 pages of shit to say about the

j-dubs and that's pretty damn and all by itself now the conclusion of the report though if summarized in a single word would be fail yeah i almost wish they didn't release the text of the report so we could hear the statement from their really overworked publicist like yeah we're super flattered just goes on forever like 110 pages about all the kids we did not fuck. Big list of unfucked kids. We're very proud. Oh, we'll get around to releasing it as soon as Hillary releases her emails. By the way, big list of unfucked kids, the Eli Bosnick bucket list.

All right, so foremost among the commission's criticisms was the two witness rule, which we've talked about on the show before. This is the rule that J-dubs follow that absolves them from taking abuse allegations seriously unless they have two witnesses. So if you can't get an audience for your abuse or talk your abuser into testifying on your behalf, you're fucked occasionally, literally. occasionally literally what's more in those cases where they actually got around the two witness rule the commission points out that the accused weren't disciplined in any significant way and often remained within the organization oh my god now i want to see j dubs on law and order just mccoy comes out and starts threatening the accused rapist with like atheist blood transfusions and birthday parties bailiff bring out the cake and candles okay i did it i did it i raped a kid just put out the candles please not all in one breath all right benson i played good cop now we

let the spanish voice of jehovah in his head play bad cop or just say jehovah i heard you so i hated it i should point out too that the report also faults the j-dubs for outdated and inadequate methods for screening for child abusers, inadequate regard to the risks a perpetrator might reoffend, a system for resolving issues that doesn't take the survivor's wishes into account, and worst of all, their failure to report sexual abuse to the cops. Now, of course, the Achilles heel of the commission has already been exposed, so representatives of the Jehovah's Witnesses managed to avoid testifying by citing a religion-wide simultaneous contraction of the sniffles. Just some J-Dub. Yeah, sorry, I would love to come in and talk, but I got coughed on by George Pal, so... It smelled like cum.

Probably. You don't know this breath doesn't smell like cum. I would imagine it does. And finally... If we have anything to do with it. Distinction without a difference right there. I'm sorry. And finally tonight, from the Plan B movie file,

religious right activist Janet Porter decided to give us a very nice holiday gift last week with the release of a trailer for her upcoming anti-abortion romantic comedy. Rom-com. Fantastic. Which is apparently a genre of film that she recognized was being almost entirely unexplored. Imagine that.

And it was. She was absolutely right about that. Yeah, right. But rather than leave it that way, like the entire industry's been very reasonably doing, leave it that way like the entire industry has been very reasonably doing Porter created a rom-com centered around a woman's uterus crowded

with sperm and congressmen I'm guessing that's really happening oh yeah no at this point I mean they've already conceived of it there's no turning back at this stage wait wait wait I have several movies about a woman whose womb is crowded with sperm I mean it's called crowded with sperm. I mean, it's called Crowded with Sperm.

I don't think they interfere there. So the movie is called What's a Girl to Do? Question mark. What's a girl to do? Which feels like a misnomer with that question mark at the end. Because the people who made this movie definitely don't think a question should be allowed. Yeah, right. Right.

Being honest, the title would be more like, what a girl is to do according to the old men who preside over the vaginas and the rules thereof. Okay. But see, I have old men who preside over vaginas as well. It's the porn marsh watches. I say. You know what? Marshwatches.

I say. You know what? We should show up at the premiere for this and do like an ironic pro-abortion protest. Just carry pictures of babies and yell, this is what happens. It's lovely. Have a toddler have a tantrum out front. Do you see?

Just trick people into thinking we're an OBGYN office but actually perform abortions on them like the crisis pregnancy center. Just like, no, I'm just vacuuming your huge so it's nice and clean for the baby so uh just in case the chance to watch a meet-cute between a pregnant lady and a screaming protester in the parking lot at Planned Parenthood wasn't enough, our lovely gift from Janet Porter also includes a perfect cast. Not only do we get to watch acting from flyover politicians like Steve King and Mike Huckabee, we also get to see god-awful movies all-stars like Victoria Jackson and Stephen Baldwin. Fantastic. And I'm guessing this topic is very, very important to Baldwin

considering he looks like he just barely survived the procedure in question. He looks like Alex Fetus grew up. Yeah, no, I've described his appearance in the past as partial birth on a number of occasions. Yeah, he looks like Squiggy stepped into the machine from the fly with a full fleshlight. Full of bug spray

or I don't... Alright, well, this one's pretty obvious. We'll need 30 seconds on the clock. Pro-life rom-coms, go. Alright, I'm really tempted to go with How to Lose a Guy in Ten Commandments, but they want to make religion look good. So Bridget Jones' Diaphragm? Ooh, I like it.

A funny thing happened while you were sleeping. All right. What about 16 candles missing? Zero candles. Negative.5 candles. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Ballpark.

We could go classical. Maybe the back alley around the corner. Or bringing up Zygote. Ooh, nodding kill a baby. Partial birth of a nation. Four weddings and a tiny little funeral.

Oh, I love that so much. About preemie myself and Irene. Missing from another in a tiny little funeral? Oh, I love that so much. About Preemie, myself, and Irene. Missing from another womb. What about Sophie's pro-choice? It's the cautionary prequel.

Yeah. See what happens? And while we desperately try to find a way to hack the system and ensure this film's enough success to become a trilogy, we'll close off the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. You can't just write stuff in like, god damn it. And when we come back, Dan Arrow will be here to discuss his unexpectedly topical book on secular activism. Guys, what did you do to the living room?

Hey, Noah. Heath, table four needs more biscotti. On it. On it. Biscotti? Oh, yeah. Me and Heath were thinking, you know, about that Christian coffee shop, and we realized, hey, why not an atheist coffee shop in Bakehouse? So here it is, Baking Atheist.

Dude, how the – Eli, table three wants another Mohammed Mocha and a Why Are So Many of Us Flat White. You got that? Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah, I got it. Pretty great though, right? You should try a Sam Harris.

It starts out awesome, but it gets significantly more worrisome the longer you drink it. Eli, come here, guys. What's going on? Hold on. We cannot start a fucking coffee shop. I'm pretty sure all of this is illegal, and more importantly, this is my home. I live here.

Where is my wife? Where are my cats? He's in the back baking. He's good. Try one of his look at my dough buttholes. Well, hello, boys and girls. It's me, Santa. Yep, real. Go fuck yourselves. Anyway, I'm just here to deliver a Christmas present to all the good little scathing atheists listening to this show.

Right now, you get Diatribs Volume 1 on e-book for just $2.99. That's right! For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can own 50 fantastic fiery feuds of your very own to read on your Kindle or your iPad or like your computer if you're one of those weirdos who reads e-books on a computer like a nerd. But that's not all. Keep your ears tuned because just in time for Christmas, both print and e-book versions of Volume 2 will be coming down the chimney. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Once again, you can get your very special discounted e-book of Diatribes Volume 1 in the show notes of this episode.

And stay tuned for Volume two the perfect christmas gift for the atheist in your life who's gonna need some rage porn after four months of goddamn christmas songs and remember if you don't buy your books i'll fuck your kids no too far check the show notes i'm santa No? Too far? Check the show notes. I'm Santa. Very excited to welcome back my next guest. Dan Errol is a secular activist, a freelance writer, and on occasion an investigative journalist. He publishes the popular Danthropology blog, where he blogs on issues of politics and church-state separation. He hosts the companion Danthropology podcast because everybody who's anybody has a podcast nowadays.

He's also the author of Parenting Without God, and he's here today to talk with me about his new book, The Secular Activist, a how-to manual for protecting the wall between church and state. Dan, welcome back to the show. Thank you for having me back on. It's always a pleasure. Yeah, you bet, man. So, okay, so when you wrote the book, all the way up through when you published the book, it looked to all the world like your readers were going to be implying the advice within it to a Hillary administration. A couple Tuesdays back, the scenario changed. The sky fell, and I feel like the need for your new book skyrocketed. So upcoming Trump presidency, would you say that's going to be good or bad for secular activism?

Well, it's going to be bad for secularism. If you're an activist who's looking to stay very busy, it depends on what you could define by the word good. It's not good for the country and it's not good for secularism. It's not good for the country and it's not good for secularism. And it's going to mean a lot of extra work for secular activists who, I think, up until the election day, kind of saw what our path was going to be. That we were going to have to stay on point for certain topics, but not really have to set the clock back and look at the possibility of having to almost start over on many issues and defend issues that we sort of considered settles. You know, same-sex marriage is over. Now we don't know that that's going to make it or that we're not going to have to defend it every single day. Women's rights have been costly under attack, but now it looks like we're going to have

even more uphill battle. Rather than just dealing with states trying to make it harder for clinics to open or stay open, we're going to have a federal government trying to close them all down. Possibly a Supreme Court trying to help them. Like I said, obviously people like you just got a lot

more important to the world. Not that you weren't important to your family and everybody before. But holy shit. Yeah, kind of a scary time to be alive. All right. So let's turn to the topic of this interview, just so I don't slip my wrist, specifically your new book, The Secular Activist. Now, I'm actually really excited about this book because one of the most frequent questions

I get from our audience is what can I do personally? And now I'm hoping I can just say, read Dan's book. Is that going to be a viable strategy for me, you think? That's why I wrote it. And so I hope that that's what you can say. And I'm hoping that's what people that read it feel I did. Because the whole point of the book was just that. It was to explain to people the simplicity

of being an activist from the person that says look i can only do this for 10 hours a month maybe they can do 10 minutes a month to the person that says look i'm ready to devote 10 12 hours a day i want i wanted people to realize that activism can be that broad and that it can come in so many different forms rather than just saying like, oh, you know, I can't go out and demonstrate or I'm not comfortable with confrontation, so I can't be a secular activist. And I hear that a lot. And I also hear people saying to me, oh, hey, I saw this thing happening in my town. Can you do something about it? And I'm happy to. But at the same time, so can they.

They can do something about it. And sometimes I'll talk to them and sometimes they don't want to get involved. There's reasons why they don't feel comfortable, you know, stepping up. But sometimes it's just that they feel like they can't. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I think there's one of the biggest problems we have is one of motivation because it's just that they feel like they can't. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think there's one of the biggest problems we have is one of motivation because it's so easy to feel like you can't make any real difference individually. And that obviously becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So how do we get past that as a movement? Really, I think we just have to inspire each other. And we have to tell the story. So the reason in my book I don't just tell a story about myself. I tell stories the main motivator here is that if we teach people and give them the simple tools to accomplish their goals, they're going to keep doing them. And a lot of people look at my book and they go, wow, it's really thin. But that was the point.

My publisher actually wanted a longer book. And I argued back and said, no, this needs to be like a manual. It needs to be like a manual. It needs to be something that you get through real quick, and then you've retained everything, and then you apply it. All right, so give us an idea. What kind of practical things will the reader learn by reading your book? You'll learn a bit about dealing with local government,

from secular invocations to making your voice heard. You're also going to learn how to talk to Christians about the persecution complex that they have, where they feel like we're attacking them and that we're looking to get special rights over them when really what we're doing is trying to just get equal rights. Or, you know, it's about inclusion. So either atheists are included in, you know, these religious practices that are being done by the federal government or no one is. You'll also learn different forms of activism from blogging to podcasting to just being a Twitter activist to being a Facebook activist and the tools that you can use and websites and organizations that can help you do better at it and be more successful. That's awesome. And that's what I really like about the book is it does seem to be very much

geared towards, okay, now finish this book and go out and do something, you know? So, okay, so let's talk, you touched a little bit already on social media activism. Now, some people say, hey, that's changing the world, Arab Spring, yada, yada. Some people say, you know, Kony 2012, it's a distraction and it's a waste of time. So just generally speaking, what's your take on social media activism? It's great for the people that – some people cannot be fully involved all the time. They just can't. They have multiple jobs to support their family. Maybe going out and protesting or making phone calls is too much.

People have anxiety. People have depression. All these things that stop people from doing other things that others can do. I can go out and do all of it, but I realize that that's a privilege I have that is not afforded to everybody. that is not afforded to everybody, social media activism can be impactful because you can change the minds of your friends, your friends' friends, just people that you come across on Facebook or Twitter that might not know that you feel a certain way about an issue. They might not know that you care about church-state separation. So, you know, even, you know, some of the laziest forms of, you know, I can say, you can't see my air quotes, but I say laziest in air quotes, forms of activism, like changing your Facebook profile to a picture of like

the equal symbol, which so many people did in 2013 with the human rights campaign. That was an impactful statement for a lot of people that didn't know that their grandparents may have supported equality. Or, you know, my mom changed her profile and some of her friends were like, wow, you support same-sex marriage? And then she had a conversation with them. She created something. And that's activism. Sure, it isn't, you know, marching down Fifth Avenue demanding the government change their ways, but it's telling people in your community, I care about this, and it's making others feel comfortable that they can care too.

And that's what creates movements, and that's what creates majority, and that's how things change. Yeah, well, I mean science will back you up on that too. I believe the most effective way to change minds is through social pressure, and social media gives us a whole new venue for that kind of pressure if it's applied correctly all right so let's talk a little bit more about uh you know marching down fifth avenue etc so you know because i think our country loves to protest but a lot of the times the the protests we do are somewhere between useless and counterproductive so in your opinion and in your experience, what makes a protest effective? Really, it comes down to the message and the goal of the protest, which I think oftentimes aren't set beforehand. Every protest or movement, in a sense, needs some sort of

leadership. I think one of the things that we found that really failed Occupy was the fact that they tried so hard to be leaderless, but then no one knew what their message was at the end of the day. You could talk to 20 people in an Occupy camp and you'd get 20 answers as to why they're there. But leadership and some sort of, you know, it doesn't have to be a dictator, it doesn't have to be someone that makes all the decisions, but there needs to be some sort of group of leaders or some sort of way to come up with like, these are the things that we're going to demand now. And then later

we can talk about other things. And this can become a bigger, broader movement that continues. Instead, it was everyone had all these ideas and then it fizzled. Because if you look at the Tea Party, that was a protest built out of anger. But they had a message. They had a goal. And they

got elected officials in office they made the republican party scared to death of pissing off the tea party and on the left we did not provide that we were like hey look we want these things oh you're giving us part of it okay cool we'll go home yeah yeah no well said as much as i hate to say we should be more like the tea party at least in organizational ways i mean they they definitely did show a path to making political change yeah and i mean and the funny part is as i look at that now with with trump is we have the handbook the handbook's been written on how to make a president ineffective right they've written that playbook for us we know what to do yet what do we see from the left already is I'm really looking forward to working with the new president. I'm hoping we can make you know, I'm hoping that he can be successful. Yeah. Stop. The normalization effort is in full swing. are going to protect civil liberties isn't from rolling over it's from standing up and look we

didn't like what they did for the last eight years they really did cripple the government but they crippled the government because they didn't like the color of someone's skin we are crippling the government because the government doesn't like the color of someone's skin well said sir well said well you know i gotta tell you you, it's a Sisyphean task. You know, obviously, we feel like we've made so much progress that's threatening to roll back down the hill, which, again, just makes the work that people like you are doing. I've said it before. I'll say it again. The secular community needs a thousand more Dan Arrows, and hopefully this book can help create them. Now, I've got you for a couple more minutes here, and pretty much all of our listeners listen to podcasts. So while I got you here, can you tell me about the Danthropology

podcast? Sure. So it was sort of born out of a long idea that I've had, but I kind of put it on pause because everyone has a podcast. But I really kind of wanted to, that's a different way to connect with, uh, my readers who, you know, I, I write for every day, but I never like speak to in a sense. And there's always people I want to talk to that aren't necessarily part of our movement that I kind of thought I could bring in. One of my guests I had was Sarah Jaffe, who is a labor journalist. And I wanted to talk to her about her take on the election because she works very hard in secular spaces, but isn't known among atheists or secularists because the work she does is more involved in labor. But I thought we had a lot we could learn

from her activism and her book called necessary trouble which is about occupy and tea party and how they were effective and ineffective and how they rose to you know power in a sense so that's kind of what the idea was just to do a you know a short weekly podcast that i interviewed people that were interesting to me and that I hope become interesting to my guests and to just kind of try it out and see how people respond. And so it's just sort of like a blog extension in a sense. And I hope people enjoy it. Right on. Right on.

Well, I'll tell you what. Obviously, we'll have it linked on the show notes for this episode. Our listeners can give it a try and get back to you and tell you how much they enjoyed it. And, of course, if you'd like to pick up a copy of Dan's book, The Secular Activist, a how-to manual for protecting the wall between church and state, you'll find that linked on the show notes as well. Dan, thanks so much for hanging out with me tonight. Thank you again for having me. Always a pleasure. Before we puff our pillows tonight, I want to remind you to check the show notes

if you're going to be in or near Chicago on Friday the 13th of January. Tickets to our live show in New York sold out really quickly, and we're expecting the same thing this time around. Also, don't forget to tune in to Dogma Debate's 24-hour broadcast-a-thon on Saturday and donate between 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. Eastern time. Details for that one are on the show notes as well. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. notes as well. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode

of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern Time on Tuesday. You can also get bonus nuggets of scatheism by subscribing to us on YouTube. Obviously, we wouldn't achieve sufficient velocity for the outro music if I neglected to thank Heath Enright, who occasionally has to sleep with half his brain at a time like a dolphin to get all the shows out on time,

and he does it, and he loves it, because he loves you. I need to thank the lovely Lucinda L illusions for all the work she does behind the scenes to keep the whole operation afloat i need to thank the lovely personality to eli bosnick for not interpreting that compliment i gave heath as an invitation to sleep with dolphins i also want to thank dan arrow one more time for his time tonight again his book is linked on the show notes along with his blog and his podcast i also want to thank wiley with the east county evangelical church of the flying spaghetti Monster for providing this week's balmy Farnsworth quote,

thus keeping us within our SoCal theme this week. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best people, Sean, Shane, Zach, John, Tim, Benjamin, M, Al, Martina, Carol, Peter, Louis, S, Man, Roman, Numeral 9,

Chris, Clarence, and Darren. Shane, Sean, Zach, John, and Tim, whose ability to keep their erect cocks from touching counts as evidence against the theory of a curved universe. Benjamin, M, Al, Martina, John, and Tim, whose ability to keep their erect cocks from touching counts as evidence against the theory of a curved universe. Benjamin, Em, Al, Martina, Carol, and Peter, whose IQs are so high that they just became legal in Alaska last week. And Louis, S-Man, Roman, Numeral 9, Chris, Clarence, and Darren, whose clothes would probably rip off the opposite of the way that the Hulks do.

Together, these 16 slick, chic, and or thick dick skeptics kicked us a quick uptick with a click this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the nunchuck skills it takes to give us money, but if ninjas have good reason to fear you and you want to give us money, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free edition of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, giving people money makes you break out and not having enough money.

You can also help a ton by giving us a five-star review on iTunes, supporting our sponsors, following us on Facebook, and blaring our podcast at barricaded compounds of religious fanatics. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com. All the music used in this episode was written and performed by yours truly. And yes, I did have my permission he's in the back bacon he's good dude try one of his donut buttholes try one of his look at my donut buttholes try one of his look at my dough buttholes

that might be the worst thing you've ever said wow no it's a serious no it's not even Try one of his look at my donut buttholes. Try one of his look at my dough buttholes. That might be the worst thing you've ever said. Wow. No, it really isn't. The worst thing that we didn't edit out, maybe. But nowhere near the top ten. All right. So. Sorry. I gotta go get a Swiffer brush

first trimester we'll just use the dust buster that'll be fine just in case did you not charge this? you gotta put it back. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle in a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved.