The Scathing Atheist - ScathingAtheist 211: Aron Ra Edition

Episode Date: March 2, 2017

In this week’s episode, we learn that transphobia is a great way to lose your kid a state championship, we review a new mug technology that turns hydrogen hydroxide into water, and Aron Ra will be here to talk about maintaining an election for more than four hours. To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To get tickets to see us at ReasonCon, click here: http://reasonnc.com/ To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies Guest Links: Click Here to donate to Aron Ra’s state senate campaign: http://aronra.org/ Click Here to check out Aron’s blog: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/reasonadvocates/ Click Here to support Aron through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/aronra Click Here to hear Brother Brewer on the Skeptic’s Brew Pub podcast: http://skepticsbrewpub.com/ Headlines: Diatribe References: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/pope-quietly-trims-sanctions-sex-abusers-seeking-mercy-45732198 http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/02/23/pope-francis-if-catholics-are-going-to-be-hypocrites-it-is-better-to-be-an-atheist/ Trump admin to rollback rights for trans students: http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/22/politics/doj-withdraws-federal-protections-on-transgender-bathrooms-in-schools/index.html Largest US Christian bookstore chain goes bankrupt: http://religionnews.com/2017/02/23/family-christian-stores-largest-christian-retailer-closing-after-85-years/ CPAC panel: God has a wall and extreme vetting, why not us? http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/02/22/the-cpac-panel-if-heaven-has-a-gate-a-wall-and-extreme-vetting-why-cant-america-is-absurd/ Grant County experiencing buyer’s remorse over Ark Park: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/02/26/referring-to-economy-grant-county-ky-official-says-ark-encounter-has-not-done-us-good-at-all/ TX judge sues to avoid watching video on LGBT equality: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/02/22/fragile-texas-judge-sues-to-get-out-of-watching-lgbt-diversity-training-video-2/ $73 magic cup promises to magic-ify your water: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/02/24/this-73-magical-cup-promises-to-do-something-to-your-water/ This Week in Misogyny: The person whose name you shouldn’t make your planned parenthood donation to is Greg Locke, and the address you shouldn’t have the thank you mailed to is 2060 Old Lebanon Dirt Rd Mt Juliet, TN 37122.

Warning, this podcast contains explicit language and is best listened to while not approved. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by one last round of our Donald Trump nickname contest. The final winner is ReadyScoop1, who had Bad Santa with the Throwing Star Armband. We also would have accepted Supremacist Santa, or SS. Honorable mention goes to heath e who had lame duck a la range it's been a month he's a lame duck that's legitimate next week we're going to switch over to physical descriptions of steve bannon so tweet us your favorites using the hashtag scathing bannon nickname and you could be the next winner. And now, the Skating Agents.

This is Brother Brewer from Skeptic's Brew Pub, reminding you, believe nothing what you hear, half of what you see, never have a serious conversation without a two-drink minimum, and, oh yes, we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men. It's Thursday It's March 2nd And the friendly atheists are on the other podcast. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright.

And from New York, New York, Secret Lair, Pennsylvania, this is The Skating Atheist. On this week's episode, we learn that transphobia is a great way to lose your kid a state championship. We review a new mug technology that turns hydrogen hydroxide into water. And Arun Ra will be here to talk about maintaining an election for more than four hours. But first, the diatribe. this fucking pope makes the news twice last week in the bit where he reduced the punishment for pedophile priest pissed me off second most now to be fair it was the worst of the two stories even if it was completely unsurprising turns out through his entire tenure pope franny may has been doling out some mighty lenient punishment for the kitty fuckers in his flock and that's

compared even to the paragon of evil that preceded him as bad as he was benedict at least defrocked priests when they were caught with their dicks and kids and we all said hey how about jail huh how about you turn them over to whatever third world shithole they were caught with their dicks and kids. And we all said, hey, how about jail, huh? How about you turn them over to whatever third world shithole they were diddling the youngsters in in the first place to face the same kind of punishment their victims would face for stealing a loaf of bread. But apparently that was a strict Pope because Pope Franny Pack isn't even willing to do that.

And that's evidenced by a bunch of stories that hit the press last week, prompted no doubt by the case of Reverend Mauro Inzoli. Now, here we got a Catholic priest who is a known pedophile, gets clemency from the Pope, goes back out into the world, fucks more kids at another Catholic church. Now, according to numerous press reports, this is only one of many cases where the Pope decided to overrule the advice of the Vatican's congregation for the doctrine of the faith and reduce the sentences of known pederasts. This despite publicly advocating zero tolerance and tougher penalties from day one, this duplicitous asshole who promotes the idea that people who choose the wrong God's door on let's make a deal deserve to burn in hell for eternity is now going to hide behind the word mercy to justify letting priests get away with raping kids. And if there is one area where you

can count on the mainstream media to live up to Donald Trump's billing of them, it's when they're talking about the fucking Pope. Hell, I saw an ABC News report that seemed to suggest that the real risk of letting known child fuckers back into the churches to fuck children again is that it could, quote, come back to embarrass the church, end quote. But at least they're reporting on it, right? I mean, at least they seem to recognize that the Pope's the bad guy in this story. They may be soft peddling an unspeakably evil action, but at least they're hitting on the right half of the morality spectrum. And that's why it's the story that pissed me off second most. In terms of actions taken, again, yes, this is the worst of the two.

But in terms of media reporting, the story that really pissed me off last week came out a couple of days earlier when the media started sucking a Pope's dick for suggesting that it would be better to be an atheist than a hypocritical Catholic. Be better to be an atheist than a Catholic who cheats his employees and launders money. Now, despite the belittling formulation of that thought, media outlets around the world seem to think that this is yet another example of how tolerant and enlightened this Pope is. Now, I would like to think that the press would universally recognize the insult if you substituted any other minority, right? Maybe not Breitbart but if he

said you'd be better off being a black than a hypocritical white or you'd be better off being a gay than a hypocritical straight can't imagine anybody would see that as a laudable statement hell we don't even have to move that far down the substitution scale do we if he used any other category of religious belief it would scream bigotry to any casual observer if he said well you'd be better off being a jew you don't think he would have netted any positive ink out of that do you but somehow he can say you categorically dishonest and or immoral people are even worse than atheists and people hold it up like a badge of progressive honor i i mean i guess that the underlying thought he's trying to express is semi good right i mean he's trying to reach out to his

own flock and say hey stop doing dishonest shit. You're making us look bad. But when you can't express even that nanoscale iota of self-serving morality without throwing a billion atheists under the bus, should anybody really be applauding your effort? Atheist, often at least moderately better than money launderers. Probably not the theme of ReasonCon this year, if I had to guess. And in a sense, I understand this, right? I mean, a backhanded compliment to atheists ranks substantially higher on the morality scale than actions that directly lead to fully preventable child rape. And if you want to say something nice about the Pope, that's really the bar you're trying to get over. But if that's the case, why the fuck would you be trying to say anything nice about him? You don't see news stories about

how generous Jerry Sandusky is when the other inmates run out of shampoo, and there's a reason for that. I've been screaming about this ridiculous double standard for years now. On the one hand, he's sheltering Cardinal Pell, but on the other hand, he hugged a deformed guy and didn't throw up. How the fuck are those the two hands? That's less of a scale and more of a trebuchet. Why not run a weekly list of all the kids not raped by the Catholic Church, guys? Run headlines like Pope Francis never whips orphans or some of Pope's best friends are black. Look, this is more than a negligent insult. It portrays a profoundly bigoted worldview that just assumes some association between godlessness and immorality. He's catering to a stereotype that makes life dangerous in some places and deadly in others.

And every media outlet who covered this with a rosy tint was doing the same fucking thing. If you don't assume that atheists are immoral, the proclamation makes no sense. And yet it seemed to make perfect sense to an awful lot of people. But for the record, as much of a dick thing to say as it was, it was also correct. You are definitely better off as an atheist than as a hypocritical Catholic. It's just that the same is true if you subtract the word hypocritical. I mean, let's talk morals here. A moral person would not try to keep condoms out of Africa.

A moral person would not demonize birth control. A moral person wouldn't invest money opposing marriage equality referendums. And a moral person damn sure wouldn't continue to fund an institution after decades of unambiguous evidence show that their primary global function is keeping child rapists safe from punishment. You show me a moral Catholic and I'll show you a hypocrite. Joining me for headlines tonight are the pomfrito fromage to My Cheese Fries Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to eat a place that serves non-organic soda once maybe? Just one time?

Like a steak or something? You do not want carbon to hydrogen bonds in your soda. It is revolting. Absolutely not. The waitress was surprisingly rude when I explained what room temperature actually meant, by the way. Dude, you tried to stab her with a meat thermometer.

I tried to demonstrate with a meat thermometer. Moving on. In our lead story tonight, we have some new information on a major priority of our president during this crazy time in the world major powers are

mobilizing nuclear missiles the middle east continues to be on fire and the replacement plan for obamacare is something more better soon still choices but but meanwhile a good deal of trans kids have been shitting where they want and that's why the president stopped what he was working on and took a serious look at the pandemonium in a small amount of our school bathrooms and despite recently promising the exact opposite of doing stuff like this trump decided to withdraw the obama era directives that protected these students from discrimination. Okay, well, that's not unreasonable. It's entirely unreasonable. It's dangerously wrong and stupid.

Oh, sorry, I should explain. Sometimes I tell jokes. What? Oh, I'm told that makes transphobia acceptable. By the way, unrelated, what's David Duke up to these days? Let's get him on the show. Okay, well, as long as he hasn't advocated pedophilia i guess that's i guess that's fine hambophilia i think that was a faba philia is

that jewish kids it's like that that's what they've been saying my alerted a faba philia oh a faba philia yeah he's not into jewish kids and i i want to be clear on this trump does not give a fuck where trans people pee unless the obamas have slept there before this is a hundred percent red meat for pence to shut up about something and that's the thing that scares me most at this point like basically pence can open up any drawer in the oval office at this point and say make butt sexy illegal i'm telling cnn about that found that there a few pranks from joe biden still in a few of those so uh here's how this all happened trump had the justice department and the department of education send a joint guidance letter about all this to the

public schools last week but all it said was we're taking away the last guidance thing from obama and there's no replacement just a repeal yeah so basically we're not telling you that trans people are people and we're not telling you they're not we're actually super confused by the whole concept is he it he, she, she, they? Can they take shits? We have no fucking clue. And interesting factoid, can they take shits? We have no fucking clue.

That's the standard valediction for all White House communications at this point. The irritable bowel syndrome lobby is fucked. All right, so here's my final answer on this. I came up with a new concept and I really think it'll work literally everywhere. I call it the bathroom. It's just a big room full of people shitting and pissing together in harmony. You got black people, white people, men, women, non-binary, Jews. I'm talking everyone.

And we just see how it goes. If it breaks out into an orgy of theophilic sexual violence and people don't like it, then we change it. But I have a funny feeling people are going to get on board. Very similar to my suggestions for ReasonCon. And I have to admit,

I wasn't convinced, but now that I know state wrestling championships are on the line, I feel like Protect from trans kids is going to start trending. So we might get the South on board as well. Right, right. And in vegetarian deli news tonight, we've got a bit of good news. That place with the tofu burgers opened back up. No.

Why would that open back up? Why would you tease me like that? Why can't you? Why? I like to see the disappointment glaze into your eyes. No, I was talking about the world's largest retail of Christian-themed merchandise who announced last week that they're going to be closing their doors for good. The Grand Rapids, Michigan-based Family Christian Stores has 240 retail locations in 36 states. But after 85 years of a healthy living selling all the books

they didn't burn apparently the market for self-effacing old lady wall clutter dipped sharply leading the chain to file for bankruptcy protection two years ago and announced their liquidation last week you laugh but like three quarters of our audience just ran out of places to buy shit for their grandmother myself included well you can get plenty of racist stuff on uh amazon you'd be surprised i wouldn't i wouldn't i wish i wish now i you know i don't want to rejoice too much in the fact that some 3 000 people are going to be losing their jobs over this that's my job obviously but as a curious pre-internet kid that grew up in a town that only had christian bookstores i can't help but dance on their gravel too many times i've been

trying to ham them money as they said sorry no we can't order you that book it's of the devil no sympathy i feel you okay you asked the lady at barnes & Noble for naked pictures of her. And she said no. And they're out of business now. You see how it happens. And I should also note that the chain did a lot of charitable work for oppressed people around the world. But now they no longer sell the thing that's used to oppress so many people around the world. So I feel like that kind of balances out.

Yeah. Hard to be sympathetic to Dave's child abduction because they do such good work for veterans. Hold on. Because they do such good work for veterans or because they do such good work for veterans?

Can it be both? I think it can be both. It cannot. It's like Starbucks. How is it like Starbucks? Abduct children. I'll just dive right back in. Now, the company blames their financial woes on the fact that they're a bookstore and even old ladies have stopped using those by now.

And that's fair. I mean, it'd be easy to try to paint this as evidence of the decline of Christianity in America. And some amount of it is that. But dedicating a whole bookstore to people that only like the one book seemed like a doomed business model from the start if you ask me of course if you ask those intellectuals over at world net daily they'll tell you it's because the chain was selling in their words too many heretical books really yeah I kind of feel like that's less of a competing theory and more of a vindication of my theory, but you know. I mean, there's like 950 chicken soup

for the soul books now, so at a certain point it became an issue of square footage, right? Grandma needs a Kindle. And there will no longer be security at Ireland's airport news tonight. See, Noah? You like that? You like teases? You like it when someone

says a thing you really hope? No. And actually in CPAC extravaganza news tonight, little riddle for you. What's the difference between atheists on Twitter and CPAC? I don't know. What is the difference

between atheists on Twitter and CPAC? CPAC understands that Milo and Richard Spencer don't deserve a platform. That's not what this story is about. I just needed to say that or I'd die. Fuck. Thank you.

Beat you to it. See, no reason to do it now. No, luckily for the unity of our movement, CPAC was filled with folks who I think we can all agree are good old- fashioned bonkers, including three state representatives who participated in a panel called

quote, if heaven has a gate, a wall, and extreme vetting, why can't America? Oh, for fuck's sake. Great question. Also, why can't America have flying babies? Mexico needs to buy us baby drones.

Those are drones that only kill babies. Or we could just tell the Texas legislator we're going to use them to fly aborted tissue to heaven. Cha-ching, baby drones fully funded. I know how this shit works. Or that, sure. Now, of course, the comparison between heaven and america is rather apt everyone thinks they deserve to get in and other people don't but for different

reasons they're both generally made up concepts to convince the stupid of tribe loyalty and lest we forget the most important part most of the people who like the idea of getting in don't mind consigning the people who don't to hell any other similarities oh uh racist dictator uh misogynistic rule book uh no muslims allowed trans people are unwelcome uh lots of aborted fetuses walking around They're like the bats of heaven. Oh, God. Trap it. Trap it. See?

Ton there. Compliment sandwich. If they bite you, you get babies. See? Don't let it walk up the wall. Sweep it down. Sweep it down.

They can't fly. I know very little about bats. Either way, I think we can agree whether heaven or America, nobody at CPAC deserves to be there. There you go. And in green eggs aren't the issue news tonight. Officials and residents in Grant County, Kentucky, are starting to express a bit of buyer's remorse in the wake of the Arc Park failing to assist the local economy in any appreciable way over the first two-thirds of a year it's been open. According to the county's judge executive, Steve Wood, the Arc Park has been, quote,

a great thing, but it's not brought us any money, end quote. A great thing in what sense? Making your town a laughingstock? Making it easier to land planes because you're the town with the giant boat. I really want some MIT kids to prank them now. Just like, take the whole thing apart one night and hide it

and just have another team assemble the thing at Mount Ararat. And look, like, economically speaking, this all makes sense. Anybody assessing this critically would have known that what little attendance this place would draw would be too seasonal to support hotels and chain restaurants. And it's not like chain restaurants are storming to a location

that caters to shitloads of people who don't drink on the rare occasion it caters to shitloads of people at all. You know, we've reported before on the fact that despite a referendum allowing alcohol sales in the formerly dry county, not a single bar has opted to open in the area. And as for the promise of jobs well turns out that only counts if you're a young earth creationist christian that hates fags enough so yeah to be fair i think you lost him at assessing this critically so it all kind of falls apart there yeah no i think so well and if we're

being technical kind of falls apart in uh genesis chapter six if we're gonna go, kind of falls apart in Genesis chapter six, if we're going to go. It's worth pointing out, by the way, that this is a lot more than a simple disappointment, since the park itself was largely funded through tax incentives and local investments. Meanwhile, the county is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and might be forced to shed some municipal jobs to make their budget work this year. So congratulations, Grant County, Kentucky. You believe the words coming out of Ken Ham and you got what you deserved. And in team Danish news tonight. See, this is why I can't listen to their show. Wait, because demons caused your autism?

That too. That too. It's a cock dis job. That's why we can't listen to their show. Someone right now is like, I don't now is like I don't get it that would be me why can't I listen to their show too much stuff

Tom will get it long tail marketing you know one of the hardest things to report on in this show is the parts of the world that are truly backwards backwards places where men and women are thrown into prison for the imaginary crime of blasphemy.

Of course, I'm speaking about the third world country of Denmark. Denmark? But they're like Germany's Canada. Everyone's nice. There's less Nazis. They speak in trochaic meter. I bet the blasphemy is adorable. Like, we hate the God.

Yeah, I mean. Dude, quit sucking up to Canada better than me and Eli, all right? Let's catch up. I did it iambic, whatever. You know what I meant. So for those who are curious why a country otherwise known for not being as close to Sweden and Finland as you think, is still one of five countries in the European Union that has blasphemy laws on the books. Like 10 years ago, someone drew a cartoon which made everybody lose their fucking minds and stab someone in the heart. And since that was literally the only thing to ever happen in Denmark since it

was founded, they sort of decided to blame it on the cartoon drawing people and not the stabby ones. Yeah, this is why we need to be able to stab Nazis. Wait, the opposite? Which is it? The opposite. Is it the opposite? Yeah. Stab Jews.

Meanwhile, cut to Harold Bluetooth, son of Gorm the Old, going come on guys. Cool stuff. meanwhile cut the herald bluetooth son of gorm the old going come on guys cool stuff so here's the basic story john jesus these fucking names salvin sin sure let's say that posted a four minute video of himself burning a koran on facebook in 2015. But he's been charged with the laws now because many people believe prosecutors want to make an example of him. Probably because they didn't think the murder last decade was harsh enough deterrent. I don't know. I guess not.

Muslims, they need more safe spaces. Am I right? Right. I think that's what Eli's saying. More safe spaces, am I right? Right? Yeah. I think that's what Eli's saying. And look, we should point out this guy, John Shafir, for all purposes, seems to be hating Islam the wrong way.

But sadly, the problem with freedom is that it also needs to apply to assholes who hate Islam the wrong way. And even though he could only spend four months in jail and will in all likelihood just pay a large fine the law is bad it's a bad law doesn't matter that you'll only get a ticket for pissing off elephants and and that it's happening to john boehner bad law so we're against it no stop it and speaking of boehner's and being against it we're going to pause for a quick break and hand things over to my lovely wife lucid a man wrote the bible a horse which one if it's a legitimate right cooking can be fun hey i'm proud of a man this week in massager you know what i'm feeling pretty cheery this week and it's because of one of the few silver linings around the shit storm that is the Trump administration.

Passive aggressive activism. You've heard of this, you know, donating to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence's name, donating to the ACLU in Jeff Sessions' name, donating pretty much anywhere good in Trump's name. And of course, you do this along with their address so they get a thank you card. It's just about the best way I can think of to say fuck you while doing some good. And I've always kind of wondered, you know, what do these assholes think about this stuff? I mean, everyone I just mentioned has a staffer to throw those notes in the garbage for them. But luckily, this week we found out what misogynistic nutbag Pastor Greg Locke thinks about it. He posted a video to his Facebook page titled,

Planned Parenthood sent me a personal thank you, and it has me lit. This, of course, in the traditional angry Christian font known as all caps. In the video, he takes a break from looking like a Halloween costume of a bass player to express his extreme displeasure at having a donation made in his name in a combination of down-homey ignorance and angry that was too good not to share. So first he just reads the letter out loud. And then when he realizes it doesn't list how much the donation is, says, quote, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how big or how small it was. It was an absolute waste of your money and the stamp was

an absolute waste of your money as well. So fuck you and the postage you wrote in on. He goes on, quote, there has never been an organization in the world that has killed more innocent people, other than radical Islam, than that of Planned Parenthood, end quote. I love how he's trying not to cross his anti-Muslim bigotry audience with his anti-choice audience there. Very political. I so wanted him to keep going with, and the Jews and assholes who says, no shoes, no shirt, no service. Anyway, sorry. He continues, Planned Parenthood does not give the flip of a wooden nickel about women's health care. It's a bunch of deceptive individuals that are in it for the money that have been known to sell baby parts on the black market and they have done nothing but butcher innocent lives for years end quote there's

nothing quite so fantastic as slap my ass and call me sally down homie sings combined with pizza gate levels of nut baggery to bring a smile to my face he concludes y'all can keep butchering babies i'm gonna keep speaking the truth and since we all are gonna keep butchering babies. I'm going to keep speaking the truth. And since we all are going to keep butchering babies, and he's made it abundantly clear that he's just going to throw the thank you cards away, I guess you probably should not make a Planned Parenthood donation in his name and send the thank you card to Greg Locke's church at 2060 Old Lebanon Dirt Road, Mount Juliet, Tennessee, 37122. And if you forget which address not to send it to,

check the show notes and make sure you send it somewhere else. Because the last thing we need is another apoplectic bumpkin screed. And while I watch this video another four or five times, I'm going to turn you back over to Noah Heath and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in But I Bet He Watches Lesbian Porn News tonight, a Texas judge has filed a lawsuit against his superiors for trying to make him watch an LGBT diversity video.

Texas Social Security Administration Judge Gary Suttles filed suit claiming the video created a religiously hostile work environment and thus violated his First Amendment right to discriminate against gay people. Or to not hear about not discriminating against – or, I'm sorry, not to hear how not to discriminate. I can't remember how they phrased that in the Constitution. Something like that. I think it says,

Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind it is abomination. That's what it says. Or in layman's terms, la, la, I can't hear you and I think it's a constitutional right not to, la la la. Yeah, that's one or the other, yeah. So according to Suttles, he bent over backwards to try to accommodate his superiors on this

matter, and he would have bent over frontwards too, but that's against his religion. He points out that he's offered to take a professional ethics course or alternate diversity seminar that didn't include gay people as part of its program, thus proving the importance of making him watch this shit. What does he think that alternate diversity seminar is? Just him and one other guy?

You guys are crushing this. Women be shopping. All right, let's go to Hooters. So through a combination of the rules applying to all the people and a belligerent regimen of not getting it he was eventually told that he didn't have to watch the video so much despite him hating gay people as because of him hating gay people so he sued them i just love that he tried to compromise with some alternative diversity which is not like i'll watch a black guy a white guy and a jew walk into

a bar but they can't fuck nobody said porn so the opposite of me i'll allow miscegenation but not anti-segregation no so but that really truly is the crazy fucking thing about as odd as it is to see a conservative christian judge in texas advocating so strongly for safe spaces the real story is what he thinks they're gonna make him watch right because according to the ssa it's 17 minutes of hey try not to hate gay people even if they look weird but based on subtle's reaction he's definitely expecting tassels and oil and we can make that happen. I'd be willing to ninja my way into a courthouse and swap out the tapes. Might as well get our money's worth out of Andrew.

I'm just saying, lots of good reasons to give us crazy billionaire money. We do much better things than reignite nuclear arms races with it. And if we're being honest, probably also eventually reignite a nuclear arms race. But first, first there would be pranks. And that's the point. And I want to do that thing with Andrew dropping into a room like Mission Impossible.

Not to go down a rabbit hole. No, literally go down the rabbit hole. That's where the vent is. And finally tonight, in Mugs for muggles news you've been feeling like your water isn't magical enough anymore it is time to stop worrying yep it is because the active water technology experts over at harmony h2o.com have the perfect product. That's not why I was thinking. It's the Active Mug. And for 73 easy payments of $1,

you can change ordinary water into hexagon water. What? That's right. Hexagon water. See, most people are drinking water with five sides or less or water with seven or more sides.

And that's not how God intended. Nah, man, I saw what the bleep do we know and now I don't drink anything that hasn't been complimented for at least a day. Yeah. I stopped drinking water altogether and just wrote quenched on my face with an eyeliner. I do that, but I already wrote Scarlett Johansson's thighs

and I don't want to smear it. By the way, I don't want to quibble with your pronunciation Heath but I believe the name of the product is active mug there's an exclamation mark on there okay well sounds like you guys might be feeling a little skeptical at this point but you should stop

feeling skeptical because according to harmonyh20.com quote if you're wondering whether this is not yet sick another attempt to launch some product with allegedly miraculous properties just to earn money we propose a deeper immersion in the underestimated world of nature end quote so not the part of nature you're estimating correctly, or perhaps overshooting, but the other parts of nature. More explored.

What is that? Okay, if you think this is a bullshit money grab, have you considered walking into a forest pool? What the fuck are they even saying? Maybe that's just how a yoga instructor threatens to waterboard you.

Oh, well, now I want to watch a season of 24 starring a yoga instructor just going rogue blocking terrorist chi until they tell him where the bomb is try that subluxation okay so uh here's a few of the other things they say at HarmonyH2O.com. First of all, and we started to mention this already, these guys are pretty sure that water is supposed to have molecules that form into hexagons. What? But right around the same time that pink sludge started forming under New York City from all the negativity,

I guess that's when it happened, lots of the world's water supply started turning into bad shapes like fucking octagons and shit yeah in flint the water is just a triangle that's how bad it is and meanwhile those motherfuckers in gross point are drinking i casa tetra guys it's fucking great it's capitalism great my shape was real just throwing that out there 24-sided no the site also mentions that water is the only substance that can be solid liquid and gas what sounds wrong apparently stuff like co2 is a hoax oh i see you and tucker carlson yeah right you'll find a lot of people to agree with you on that one yeah and just about every other element as well. Also, folks, the periodic table is a scam by the Knights Templar.

Yeah, right, right. Melting points don't burn that pot. So, bottom line, water is more important than gold because if we're all dead from dehydration the gold doesn't really help anyone it literally says that it doesn't really yeah which is why jews secretly control all the water so point being we need to get those hexagons back and that's because studies have shown that, quote, the whole stock of drinking water in the world, i.e. 0.3% up to 99%, that's all of it in the world, has disturbed or damaged structure. Active water technology is the answer to this situation, end quote. And I feel like, and I'm not trying to take sides here, but I feel like if they promised to make the Dakota Access Pipeline out of active mugs, it would probably peel off a lot of the protesters. Oh, yeah.

Protect the shape bed. Okay. Well, obviously, we want these guys as a sponsor. Oh, yes. So let's give them a taste of how we might advertise their mug. Only 30 seconds on the clock. Opening line ideas for the active mug infomercial. Go. All right.

Making this tough on me. Have you recently been narrowly adjudicated, mentally competent to make purchasing decisions on your own? Hey, it's me. Call the peck a peckpeck-a-cock. Do you vaguely understand shapes but not science? Alright, how about does your water taste like a

fucking dodecagon? Well, you're consuming double the recommended amount of water size. Water size? How about just act now before I tell you what we're selling. Okay, I got a line

reading here. Hey, Heath, what you drinking? Oh, just this square water. Yeah, there you go. How about you've tried drinking it. You've tried well, mostly it's just drinking it. Hexagons.

Is your water feeling out of shape? How about, for just the price of your morning cup of coffee, you could double the amount you spend on your morning cup of coffee. With those last three together, we got a whole ad right there. And now that we've helped rid the world of toxic Pentagon water, I suppose we can close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Yahtzee rhymes with Nazi.

And when we come back, Arun Ra will be here to have the luxuriant mane of hair off against me that you've all been waiting for. As many of our listeners know, two weeks ago, my good name and score on Thomas Takes the Bar Exam were besmirched on our friend-turned-enemy podcast, Opening Arguments. So in the grand tradition of the secular community, we declared a podcast feud along with the revelation that Thomas Smith doesn't have any feet. And while the death threats, in our opinion, were definitely lacking, we wanted to read some of our favorite posts tagged hashtag tea in the feet. Honestly, we loved all of these, but our show is only an hour.

So Morgan hit us with that music. All right. First up from at Hayden P. Jones. At Eli Bosnick, it would be hashtag toe much to bear a literal hashtag heel on earth. If at T in the B did not have a hashtag soul. Hashtag T and the feet, hashtag silly.

At Skeptic Cunt Man writes, Ask yourself this, Eli Bosnick. If T and the B didn't have any feet, why does he host comedy Shoe Shine? That takes balls and feet. Hashtag T and the feet. At Apathy Arising writes, Fake news agitator at Eli Bosnick, known Jew, defending yik-yak lies.

Sad. See you in Foot Locker. Hashtag T in the feet. From at Small Blocks 15. Ableist Eli Bosnick keeps saying terrific T in the B has no feet. Sad. He's jealous that Thomas has many feet. The best feet.

Hashtag T in the feet. At NRR Profit says fake shoes. Hashtag T in the feet. At Skeptic Alice tweets at T in the B, it's easy to prove liable. Just show us the long form feet form. If not, you basically confirm the other side.

Hashtag T in the feet. From Illuminatni. At T in the B, My intuition, which is all I have to go on, open args episode 44. Why don't you go on your feet, Thomas? Hashtag T in the feet. At Jenna Crail says,

You know what they say about big feet, but what do they say about no feet? Hashtag T in the feet. And of course, no list like this would be complete without response from the accused himself, who tweets, quote, Ask yourself, if I didn't have feet, how else would I have my shoe size memorized?

It's medium-large. Hashtag T in the feet, at Eli Bosnick Lies. So once again, a huge thanks to everyone who submitted evidence to help out the truth. If you haven't gone on Twitter and checked out hashtag T in the feet yet, do that. There's so much good on there, but a lot of it's visual. So check it out visually.

And a quick reminder, if you're a proper skeptic and you'd like to check for yourself, Thomas will be our special guest for our live God awful movies at ReasonCon this year. If you haven't gotten your tickets for ReasonCon yet, grab them quick. It will almost certainly be sold out. And if you've never come to a con, there is truly no more welcoming and fun place to meet the community and share a beer with us. Or Heath, actually, because Eli and I don't drink. Or three beers with Heath. Yeah, but we'll share other things with you.

The AIDS virus. Over the month-plus administration of Schmuck a l'Orange, atheists have seen signs that the wall between church and state is rapidly eroding. From an education secretary that vociferously endorses public funding for religious schools, to attempted preferential immigration to Christians, to the explicit threat to repeal the Johnson Amendment. And in that same time, a number of our listeners have written in asking for advice on what they can do to fight back. Well, my guest tonight is fighting back in the best way possible, in my opinion. He's running for office. Arun Ra is a science educator, a formidable debater,

and one of the most sought-after speakers in the atheist movement. He produces some of the best atheist videos on YouTube. He's the host of the Raw Men podcast and now a Democratic candidate for the Texas State Senate. Arun, welcome to The Scathing Atheist. Thank you very much. Happy to be here. Yeah, really glad to finally have you. Okay, so it seems to me that the American political system at the moment is just kind of humming right along, doing great. So why throw your hat in the ring now of all times? Humming along, doing great, are we?

hat in the ring now of all times humming along doing great are we i i see the uh i see the issues that we're dealing with uh in the u.s right now and globally both you know not just as a matter of human rights but also uh environmentally and economically i see that we are facing some of the biggest issues in the most compromising situations that anyone has ever seen in current living memory. And yet it would seem that everybody wants to distract from what really is important and what really matters and just try to make sure that trans people can't pee as if that is that's the issue that we need to be focused on really yeah i mean how how is that even how how does that matter to anybody over what's really going on there are realities on our horizon looming that nobody's even acknowledging yet and i'm not even talking about the environmental situation that everybody's in denial about but other things connected to that i mean do you realize that we've already consumed 95 of the fish in our oceans you realize that you know in two

years or in four years rather we will have or three i guess now by one report we will have lost 75 percent of the vertebrate animals that we had in 1970 yeah i mean as we're recording i'm in pennsylvania in february and it's about 64 degrees outside so yeah the warning signs are everywhere for you yeah and so there's there's that to consider and then there's a there's an awful lot more too because you know people are talking about our economy as if now this is a funny thing i noticed that we have all of these science deniers who deny that the climate is changing who also coincidentally deny evolution and who seem to deny that demographics change also and i don't understand how they don't realize this because if you look at the

demographics of the united states just a few hundred years ago it was a lot less white than it is now through them you know and it's it's going to be a lot different in a couple hundred years than it is today if there's anything left of it if it's not just a smoldering heap but the the economy changes also i mean let's look at back 100 years ago. And let's remember that 100 years ago was a dramatic improvement over 200 years ago. But it was also the lowest point of the standard of living in the United States. This is when children did not have compulsory education. They didn't have schools that they had to go to.

We didn't offer free education. There was no Department of Education. There was no Department of Education. There was no Board of Education. There was no standardized education at all, right? You had a handful of school teachers that would go about, and that would be about it. Not much structure or standardization and very little prep for higher education, except, of course, for the rich, which is kind of what they're leading toward now. If you listen to the Republican stance on pretty much anything, what they want to do is they want to take us back to the way things were the good old days of 100 years ago. And I mean, in terms of civil rights, in terms of unions, not just in labor unions

and such, but also, you know, health care, again, having the children back in the workforce. Because some Republicans have actually admitted that what are you going to do with the kids if they don't have to go to compulsory education anymore? They can return to the workforce. And so we had child labor struck down in court a couple of times over this. We've had people – this is what they want. This is what they want to go back to 100 years ago. This is the lowest as far – think about regulations about regulations right they want to deregulate everything when when industries were deregulated were never yet regulated for you know their their pollution for their their treatment of

their employees when housing wasn't regulated when the environment wasn't regulated look what happened we had pollution levels that were you were unprecedented and unmanageable, and we had people living in absolute squalor. This is where they want to take us back to. And so my biggest issue is, as a politician, my number one priority is the standard of living. I mean, it's not enriching the rich. It's not making great oil deals. It certainly isn't making deals that'll make things better for some people right now, but we'll end up scurrying over most people in a couple of years. I want things that are going to be long-term and benefit the most people. I want to promote the middle class because I think promoting the middle class actually helps both the rich people

and the poor people at the same time. And I think we have good precedence for that in our past history. All right. So I would imagine we could spend a lot of time talking about the why, but I also want to focus on the how. Because I've got to admit, if I wanted to run for office, I wouldn't even know where to begin. So if any of our listeners are thinking about following in your footsteps, can you give us an idea about the process?

Like what's the first thing that you need to do? Well, first I want to get into the importance of why you do it. I mean, because I didn't really get into that. When I became an activist 20 years ago, it was because I had gotten into conversations online with various religious people who said that they proudly bragging that they had positioned certain senators or judges or what have you exactly the way their church ministers told them to vote which of course you know this is against the johnson amendment right this is why they're not supposed this is why churches are not supposed to lobby and also remain tax-free but they've been doing this forever in any way right so you have every level of government it certainly is the case in texas here in texas every level of government is is dominated by not only republicans but right-wing conservative

christian very often uh dominionist ideologues so that's kind of stifling that's our governor that's our lieutenant governor that's practically everybody in government right now and just like it is with just about everybody in the presidential administration right now. And I think this is going to be to my advantage in two years when people realize that having all three branches of federal government run by these sorts of people with these myopic lack of policies or just dangerous attitudes. I mean, if you were to ask a child, what are they going to do if they're president? You know, the child doesn't know anything. So the first thing the child is going to say is probably build up the military because that's the most infantile, naive approach. Right. So exactly.

So we're going to we're going to cut Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security. We're going to screw everybody out of everything and particularly education. And why are we going to get rid of education? Because we need more republicans we're going to do that and then we're going to say that we don't have enough money to do what poorer countries can do so successfully but at the same time we're going to conjure another 50 billion dollars for our military and it doesn't matter that we already spend more on our military than any other nation and it doesn't matter that we already spend more on our military than we other nation and it doesn't matter that we

already spend more on our military than we do anything we should be spending anything on and i mean by a by a vast amount already what is it half our budget over half goes to the military seriously why and this is probably why we have the absolute worst foreign policy you know if one man walks into a room carrying nine guns he's probably not going to be the diplomat yeah so now let's because it seems to me that you know in a liberal bastion like texas this might be an easy thing to do so let's talk vegas odds i mean you're in a pretty red part of a very red state i i definitely understand why you're going after pretty red part of a very red state. I definitely understand why you're going after this.

But what do you think the odds are that you can actually win here? Oh, very slim. Yeah, there's no doubt. I mean, in the best of situations, I mean, it would be hard for me. I mean, for those who don't know, if you don't know who I am, I mean, I kind of look like a Klingon Disney villain. I am not your average political candidate. But, you know, this is an atypical candidacy. This is going to be an atypical run because these are crazy times. And I don't think the hair, my hair length matters at all anymore.

I just don't think it does. Things have gotten that nuts yeah well and even if you don't win a strong showing or a stronger than expected showing of a blue candidate in garland texas has to send a real message to the republicans who seem to think like you said that the demographics are locked down for all of eternity and that these are not people they can perpetually ignore well you remember when i said that you know people are going to be a little bit tired of having everything right wing you know dominionist extremist right when you're so far to the right that it's impossible to go any further to the right the only way to go back to the middle is to go left right so if i so i i'm going to pull

this this uh this race to the left because my opponent is as far righted as is humanly possible to be. This guy describes himself as a Tea Party believer. And, of course, he's a science denier. He denies climate change. He denies evolution, all of this. His whole platform is based on prejudice. He wants to deny trans people the ability to pee. That's his number one issue.

He wants to build that wall that is fiscally impossible and will not benefit anybody. And he wants, of course, to keep prisons private and drugs illegal so that we can continue to fund foreign wars and so forth. I don't mean to put words in his head because I don't think he's ever said to fund foreign wars. But, you know, you can extrapolate as you will. Please tell me there will be debates. I'm so looking forward to this. I can't tell you how much fun I'm going to have with this. I mean, it's going to be like, how do I put this?

You give an idea. This guy ran before he got his position because there was no Democratic candidate running against him. So I was the first to do so. And although I have heard that there were other candidates who may do so far as I know, I'm still the only Democratic candidate facing against this guy. He went against in the primary, he had a Republican going against him and that Republican attacked him for saying that he didn't pay his taxes. So the response was to accuse his Republican opponent of being inspired by Satan. So if – and this was the most recent election. I would think it was like 2014, I think. But nonetheless, I mean, if we're still at a state where we can accuse each other of witchcraft, then what is he going to do with me?

Oh, my word, this is going to be so much fun. I can say you're not the only one looking forward to it. Yeah, I'm going to have a great time with this. And the worst that I could do, I think, I could fail the election and I'd still pull it to the left. Right. And I think, and this is my own prediction, I think the Republicans already know what a basket case this guy is. And maybe people aren't paying attention to that because look who's in the president right now. I mean, the White House has become a loony farm. so maybe nobody will notice what's going on down here at home but i would

think that the republican party would want to replace that guy and find somebody more reasonable and that means finding someone more moderate and that means finding someone not quite so far right or at the very least you know i mean you start to make a strong showing in the polls. You're drawing money away from their machine to put into a place, to a race that they think is locked up. So, yeah, there's a lot of ways this can be a win without a win. Yeah. And I'm not doing this as a protest vote. I'm not doing this as a publicity stunt. I'm actually doing this with the intent of winning. I mean, I was inspired by a friend of mine, Steve Hill in Los Angeles County. He ran for California State Senate as an open Satanist. And I was surprised that he did that. He did it more or less as a protest vote. And it's a shame that he did,

because he actually got a whole lot of votes. Because he actually got a whole lot of votes. And had he won, he actually would have been better than most people you ever find in Congress. I mean, he would have been an excellent applicant. So I'm hoping that he runs again. And I'm hoping that he actually gets it this time. Right on. Because he's a good guy.

I mean, he really does. He cares about the people. Like me, he identifies as a Bernie crowd. I mean, we didn't follow Bernie out of any kind of a cult status. He was saying things that resonate with what the people need in our everyday lives. Not what the corporations need. Not what the super rich need, but things to make sure that your mother can still get her prescriptions at the grocery store and that her life is not adversely affected by the shit that

you're doing. I mean, this is what we need to be concerned with, right? That the kind of world that we have, that our children are going to inherit from us, that our parents are going to have to live through, you know, we shouldn't be taking away all their health care. We shouldn't be terrorizing them and filling them full of fear all the damn time. Wouldn't it be great if we had news that soothed people and calmed them down and was actually more or less objective and not trying to always terrify somebody? I think that'd be nice. Every now and then they throw in a nice little news story about puppies and kittens or something. But, you know, you can show good news on occasion and maybe even highlight that sometimes.

Yeah, no, I think it would be nice to like maybe have a newscast that would help people understand that the violent crime rate is going down and has been for a decade plus. Yeah, that doesn't work when the religious machine wants to make sure everybody's terrified and tell everybody that everything's going to hell. And so that's how we know that Jesus is soon going going to come back really you have to terrify everybody but you know when you look at like and i want to advocate here like steven pinker wrote this book the better angels of our nature where he talks about how you know violence just in all areas has been on reduction ever since the middle ages i mean that things are actually a lot better that humanity is more humane today than we were 100 years ago where it used to be fully acceptable to resolve your differences if you have a if you and i have an agreement one of us is going to punch the other

in the eye and that was that that was considered normal you know this was not even a thing that would that police would arrest people for now it's assault and battery charges and stuff like that. But 100 years ago, this was expected. You can slap women around. Children could be abused. It didn't matter. And this was the normal thing. When you meet somebody and you find out they're gay, you're supposed to beat them up. That was the cultural norm once upon a time. And we've gotten so far past that. And people aren't aware of it. People are seeing things very much backward of what they used to be.

Yeah, no kidding. Well, I'll tell you what, we're running a little low on time here, but I did want to get your thoughts on one of the more controversial topics, one of the more controversial issues for the upcoming elections here. More formidable superhero team, X-Men or Avengers? What? here more formidable superhero team x-men or avengers what all right here i'll give you one that's raised a lot of controversy for me recently uh punching nazis for or against i don't advocate violence except in uh in in the most desperate of life-threatening situations so i i don't uh i don't condone that somebody got punched in the face you know my my thought is that there's always a better attack i have had very few fights in my life because i've just been good at

you know steering them away and it's never been out fear. It's just that I never had to go there. Yeah. All right. Well, believe it or not, that's a controversial opinion these days, but that's my Twitter timeline suggests. All right. Well, I'll tell you what, before we wrap this up, if any of our listeners want to help support you or other atheist candidates, where can they go and what can they do? Well, you can donate to my campaign at rnraw.org. That's A-R-O-N-R-A dot O-R-G. And I blog at the Patheos Network under Reason Advocates. I do all of my activism is supported by patrons on Patreon.com forward slash A-R-O-N-R-A.

And I need all the help I can get because this is what I do full time now and has been for the last couple years i don't i don't know what else to say there other than i do everything that i do is is by uh is by donations and so forth so much appreciate the support awesome and i can say you are doing some great work well best of luck with the upcoming campaign of course you'll find all the aforementioned links on the show notes for this episode. And thanks a ton for hanging out tonight, man. Thank you. Before we get to the outtake this week, I wanted to remind you that ReasonCon is now next month. So if you've been planning to come see our live god-awful movies recorded in Hickory, North Carolina,

now's the time to get your tickets and book your hotel rooms there will be links on the show notes for this episode anyway that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more if you can't wait that long be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show the skeptocrat debuting at 7 a.m eastern time on monday and a new episode of our sister show's hot friend god-awful movies debuting 24 hours after that obviously it wouldn't be a real show if i didn't thank heath enright for the inestimable sacrifices he makes to keep the show high quality and on time. I need to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lusions for the only slightly more estimable dedication she has to keep the funny coming. And I need to thank the man who most personifies inestimability in every

way, Eli Bosnick. I also want to thank Brother Brewer from Skeptic's Brew Pub for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Gotta love a podcast with a two drink minimum. And if you'd like a chance to love it, you'll find a link on the show notes for that as well. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best people, Matthew, Other, Matthew, Jordan, Motherlovin, Franco, Absinthe, Kyle, Layleth, James, Megan, Christiane, Michelle, Sean, Matt, Frank,

Moe Biscuits, Other, Other, Matthew, Peter, Kenneth, Andrew, Other, Matt, and Jackson. Matthew, Other, Matthew, Jordan, Franco, and Absinthe, who are featured on the beer ads that the Dos Equis guy watches, Kyle, Layleth, James, Megan, and Christiane,, who are featured on the beer ads that the Dos Equis guy watches, Kyle, Layla, James, Megan, and Christiane, who are so badass Chuck Norris tells them jokes, Michelle, Sean,

Matt, Frank, and Moe Biscuits, who are so superlative that Warren Beatty's pretty sure they won best something, and other, other Matthew, Peter, Kenneth, Andrew, and other Matt whose erections last for more than four time zones. Together these 20 Matthews and non-Matthews sacrifice their desire to hexagonalize all their drinking water in a valiant and selfless effort to give us money.

Not everybody has the pizzazz, jazz, and razzmatazz it takes to give us money. But if you think your ass is up to the challenge, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free edition of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help but your dog ate your podcast donation money, you can also help us a ton by leaving us a five-star review on iTunes, sharing our show on social media, and supporting our sponsors. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote and performed all the music used in this episode. If you have questions, comments, or

death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingadius.com. hashtag the AIDS virus don't hashtag that's going to be a depressing hashtag apparently there's a bunch of people who take that seriously I mean we take it you want to make a jokey hashtag. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I am.

Don't use that hashtag. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2017. All rights reserved.