The Scathing Atheist - ScathingAtheist 230: Drug Induced Edition

Episode Date: July 13, 2017

In this week’s episode, To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies Guest Links: The Naked Mormonism Podcast with Bryce Blankenagel: http://nakedmormonismpodcast.com/index.html For more info on Bryce’s live show, click here: https://www.facebook.com/events/299351400504022/?acontext=%7B%22action_history%22%3A%22null%22%7D For tickets for Inciting Incident’s 100th episode, click here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/inciting-incident-podcasts-100th-ep-w-chris-kluwe-scathing-atheist-more-tickets-31754100369 Headlines: Hobby Lobby smuggled black market Iraqi artifacts, but they’re super serious: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/05/hobby-lobby-smuggled-black-market-iraqi-artifacts-just-like-jesus-would-do/ and http://religionnews.com/2017/07/06/experts-say-hobby-lobby-must-have-known-it-was-illegally-importing-artifacts/ Vatican cops raid drug-fueled gay orgy at cardinal’s apartment: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/vatican-police-raid-drug-fueled-gay-orgy-cardinal-apartment-article-1.3302974 Vatican bans gluten free eucharists http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40545023 France announces 11 mandatory vaccinations: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/05/france-will-make-11-vaccines-mandatory-beginning-in-2018/ Facebook tells Christians who want cross emojis they can go fuck themselves: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2017/07/facebook-rejects-christian-cross-emoji/ Report shows Chick-fil-A still hates fags: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2017/07/report-christian-chick-fil-still-hates-gay-people/ Pakistani pizza shop has robot waitress; still has to wear a headscarf: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/07/a-pakistani-pizza-shop-owner-covered-his-robot-waitress-neck-to-avoid-scandal/ This Week in Misogyny: Paul Ryan bans women without sleeves: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2017/07/christian-sharia-gop-house-bans-sleeveless-women/ Christian Pastor on how to “properly sex up” your woman: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/07/christian-pastor-explains-how-to-properly-sex-up-your-woman/

Warning, the following podcast contains more foul language than an issue of Chicken Magazine. This week's episode of The Skating Atheist is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. And by our Jeff Sessions in five words or less contest. Today's winner is Anne, who had Gollum cosplaying as Kenny Loggins. Anne also had a few more words after that, which may or may not have referenced Archer, which I love, but I'm not going to read those words now because I don't want to encourage people to break the goddamn rules

like we're savages. So, please keep sending us your best five words or less, Anne, five words or less, using the hashtag SessionsScathe and you could be the next winner. And now, the Scathing Atheist. Hi, I'm Marissa Alexa McCool of the Inciting Incident podcast.

We're celebrating 100 episodes here in Carlisle, Pennsylvania tomorrow night with the Scathing Guys, Gaytheist Manifesto, Opening Arguments, and former NFL star Chris Cluey. You may also remember me from ReasonCon, where when I wasn't being confused for Callie, I did learn that I in fact evolved from a filthy monkey trans man. It's Thursday. It's July 13th. And if you don't like wordplay, this episode's gonna be punishing. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright.

And from New York, New York and Secret Lair, Pennsylvania, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, we all get laid less than Vatican cardinals. The robotics industry continues to Westworld imperialize Pakistan. And Bryce Blankenegel will be here to talk about what he, Joseph Smith, and Bill Cosby all have in common. But first, the diatribe. Did you know that kids with longer fingers tend to be better at geography? Seems like an odd bit of trivia until you consider that kids with longer fingers also tend to be older. Now here's an equally profound factoid for you.

People who regularly attend religious services tend to live longer than people who don't. And if you make an effort not to look any deeper into that statistic, it sounds super impressive. But let's face it, at a certain point, you have to be actively trying not to look. So this tired canard is making the rounds again in a major way. Apparently, PBS ran a two-night documentary about it last weekend, and apparently somebody still watches PBS,

because all of a sudden I'm seeing it pop up everywhere like a zombie cockroach made of stupid. So I figured this would be as good a time as any to dive into that school of red herrings one more fucking time. And to do that, I'm going to use as my map an article by Yonat Shimron on religiousnews.com with the horrifically misleading headline, attending church is good for your health. Now what? Now, I want to be super clear at the outset. That statement is indefensible bullshit and is completely unsupported by science. There is a nugget of truth behind the article, but even with the most liberal possible interpretation of the data, there is no fucking way to justify the statement attending church is good for your health.

So before we dive into this author selectivelyively data-blind analysis, let me address that little nugget of truth, right? On the average, people who attend church on a regular basis live longer and are healthier than people who don't. But people who go anywhere on a regular basis tend to be healthier than people who don't. People with iron lungs or advanced stages of cancer don't tend to make a lot of recreational weekly excursions. And it is literally that easy to dismiss this statistic. Of course, people who go to church regularly tend to live longer. They're healthy enough to keep going to church regularly.

So with that in mind, let's start where Shimmerin starts, which is a study out of Vanderbilt that found that, quoting from the article, middle-aged adults who attended religious services at least once in the past year were half as likely to die prematurely as those who didn't, end quote. Think about that for a second. Why did we go with middle age there? Why didn't we include the elderly, the people who were likely to die? Anyway, sounds really impressive as long as you don't acknowledge the difference between absolute and relative risk. And don't worry, she doesn't. She then describes this as the latest in a long line of studies numbering in the hundreds, if not thousands, that support the religion is good for your health conclusion. So, you know, she did a lot of research. Not quite enough to pin down the

precise number of supporting studies to the nearest order of magnitude, but a lot. And look, if you're trying to look at this Vanderbilt study critically, the first thing you're going to want to know is what they use for control, right? Like, how does this compare to people who went to the movies at least once in the last year? Well, not only did the author not bother to ask that question, apparently neither did the fucking researchers at Vanderbilt, which means the possible confounding variables more than wash out the results if you're trying to use those results to suggest that attending church is good for your health. Right? I mean, it's just as easy to explain away these data by saying that being in good health is good for attending church. So armed with this study and an even more laughably self-confounding study that found

that women who attended church multiple times a week were healthier than women who didn't attend church at all, plus either the hundreds or thousands of other studies she's pretty sure also exist, she leaps to the conclusion that it is the church attendance causing the health outcomes of course at this point we get the faux skepticism where she brings up known refutations to her point as though they were unanswerable questions she says for example quote could it be that people who attend church synagogue or mosque happen to lead healthier lifestyles maybe they are on the whole predisposed to eat well exercise regularly engage in safe sex,

and drink alcohol in moderation, end quote. And I'm like, what the fucker could and may be doing hanging out with all them other words? Because there is an answer here, and it's yes, raging alcoholics and heroin addicts don't tend to go to church as much. But instead of addressing that, she carries on as though that question was equal in mystery to the sound of one hand clapping her next fucking sphinxian riddle asks about people who bond over other shared interests say knitting or poker and then she asks quote has anyone studied whether

these group members have lower mortality rates end quote and i'm sitting here thinking aren't you the one writing the fucking article why are you asking me i mean i i happen to know the answer and it's a resounding yes that has been studied extensively and yes the people who attend regular knitting groups or poker games show the same trend of being healthier and having lower stress as those who regularly attend religious services but i guess she couldn't be bothered to google the fucking question even after she'd already typed it hell she mentions one study that showed that weekly chaplain visits were associated with better health outcomes. And based on that, she concluded that people are healthier when their spiritual needs are met.

Now, she didn't bother to link to that study, perhaps out of fear that you'd look at it and find out they were comparing chaplain visits to nothing. Right. They didn't compare them to weekly visits from therapists or psychologists or secular volunteers or a guy in a panda suit they literally compared it to nothing this study showed that having more people tending to the patients in a hospital was better than having fewer and that is being offered up as proof that there are things called spiritual needs and that those things are vital to human health look the very nature of a study like that betrays the real intention of the people conducting it. They're not interested in answering questions. They're not interested in doing science. They're not interested in improving health.

Their only goal is bolstering the perceived utility of their grossly overfunded facade of a social institution, and they're not afraid to piss away money on pre-confounded research to get there. This isn't just bad science. It's a lie disguising itself as science. It's a deliberate attempt to confuse people about their own health,

which means that religious apologists have shown themselves willing to sacrifice knowledge for the sake of their faith, even when it means they have to divert limited medical resources to keeping their antiquated religion on life support. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast

and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are two gentlemen recovering from a red-eye flight, Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, you ready to do the show on 48 Hours Without Sleep? Feels like I'm right back in college. Just give me a fistful of Adderall

and then refuse to have sex with me and I'm there. Lovely. Fistful of Adderall is me, and I'm there. Lovely. Fistful of Adderall is me and Heath's cowboy concept screenplay. It's amazing. Oh, my God. The scene where they're going to rob the train, and they just forget. Oh, priceless.

So fun. All right. Well, now we need some time for storyboarding, so we're going to take a quick break for this week's sponsor, Dollar Shave Club. Meth is fun. You guys ready for the live show? Dude. What is that?

Seriously? Oh, yeah. I guess I got a little scraggly. A little scraggly? You look like someone put a curse on a rabbi. You look like a poorly made Wolfman doll. Guys, it's not that bad. What happened to your razor?

Too much trouble going to the store, going back, razor burn. Who needs it? I thought I could just, you know, grow out a little. You look like Ron Jeremy skinny dipping in a dunking booth full of gum. Yeah, man. Why don't you just get Dollar Shave Club from dollarshaveclub.com? What's Dollar Shave Club? Oh, it's the smarter

choice. No cheap razors that give you a cheap shave or gimmicky tech you don't need. Just great razors for only a couple bucks a month. I don't know. I get all itchy. Well, for a limited time, new members get their first month of the executive razor with the tube of their Dr. Carver shave butter for only $5 with free shipping. After that, razors are just a few bucks a month. Yep. And in your first month's box,

you get an awesome weighty handle, a full cassette of four cartridges, and a tube of that shave butter. So, no itching? No itching. Or looking like the end of a plumber's snake. So, double bonus. After your first month,

replacement cartridges ship automatically at their regular price. There are no hidden fees and no commitments. Cancel anytime you like or don't because you look like one of those Facebook posts about an abandoned dog. Okay, okay. I'm in.

How do I sign up? Well, you can join the club today at dollarshaveclub.com slash scathing. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash scathing. Dollar Shave Club club the smarter choice you look like a homeless mr peanut oh that's it okay all right shave it and now back to the headlines in our lead story tonight oklahoma-based arts and crafts chain corporate front for religious bigotry and legally legally recognized person Hobby Lobby is back in the news this week after possibly funding ISIS in an effort to obtain illegal artifacts for a Jesus museum.

Man, I hate that guy. Company. Company. Guy? No. guy guy according to a report from the justice department's eastern district of new york hobby lobby has now agreed to relinquish the stolen artifacts and pay a three million dollar fine to settle a civil suit from the government or they also agreed to lose a turn-based punch fight with harrison ford and uh also burn their faces off by choosing poorly it's so evil you

couldn't be more villainous i'm confused i thought the supreme court just agreed that laws don't apply to them isn't like theft didn't we just figure this out do we need mel gibson to shoot them or something i thought i mean that would help that would help all right so according to a press release from the company slash person this was just an honest mistake and they didn't mean to probably fund anti-american terrorism to the tune of seven figures honest they do however admit that they probably should have known something was amiss when the seller asked him to wire the 1.6 million dollar payment to seven personal bank accounts around the world held in names that weren't his

uh can you pay us in flamethrowers and Jewish babies instead of me? And transfer complete. Oh, that was fast. Really? Honestly, I was worried you were going to ask me to Venmo you. I don't Venmo.

That's weird. How do they get it to you the same day? Are you in my bank? That doesn't make any sense. Uh-uh. Nice try, Ben Moe. A number of experts have lined up to say on the record that Hobby Lobby's innocent cries of hapless naivety are impossible to believe. Okay, this is a 600-store, $4 billion company, not a presidential administration.

For example, Jerome Eisenberg, founder of... Probably. Did you just yell out the ethnic groups? Just see me, Nazi, whenever you see me. But also, in addition to Jewish, founder of New York's Royal Athena Galleries, who called Hobby Lobby's claims of ignorance ridiculous, adding, quote,

no dealer in his right mind would have been involved with this end quote now to be fair though i don't think anyone ever accused the company that still refuses to use barcodes because of the devil is in their right mind that's true do that yeah because there's a six six six there's a whole thing it's imposs impossibly stupid. You know, at some points, one of their lawyers had to be like, you have no idea how stupid my client is. Look, look at this. Hey, Jerry, you want to watch The Omen? No, the devil will get me. See, this.

This is what I'm dealing with. And in putting the anal back in cardinal news tonight, Vatican police. Thank you. Thank you. Vatican police raided a drug-fueled gay sex party at a top priest's apartment this week in what everyone who just woke up from a forever long coma is calling shocking. But everyone else is calling pretty much par for the course. Yeah. Yeah.

Also par for the course, a long history of no Jews, no blacks, no women. Squirt and strokes. Yeah. Lots of little white balls everywhere. Just flying around. You don't want to choke at the end, but you usually do. And the holes are 18 and under, generally. Touchdown.

Nope. How's the work environment? The priest. Say a golf word. Call me 2012. The priest, who was not named by police, serves as a secretary to Cardinal Francesco

Cochlepacplacplac, a personal advisor to Pope Francis, and the apartment belongs to the Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith. The branch that reviews appeals from clergy found guilty of sexual abuse of minors. So a picture is starting to form. You know, you read some hot descriptions of child abuse. Someone breaks out a popper. Suddenly everybody's fucking happens to the best of us.

I get it. Yeah. Somebody gets accidentally drugged and he ends up engaged to a child. Just your typical Saturday with Bryce Blackalack. Marrying children with me. Nope, not a song we're going to do. Nope. Let's get that joke going. Shut it down.

Police arrested the unnamed priest and hospitalized him to detox him from the drugs he ingested. He was then taken in for questioning, presumably on drugs charges, as gay sex is legal in Vatican City, which I did not know. Seems odd, but, you know, whatever. Yeah, there is none scenario in which this party wasn't all wearing Nazi stuff, guaranteed. Well, I mean, there was a point where they stopped wearing it. But yeah, no, at first. Do you ever stop wearing Nazi stuff in your heart? You keep wearing the armband during the fuck party.

Yeah, exactly. How are they going to identify who's whatever? You sound like a really bossy person. You can still wear the armband, just so you know. That's not on the theme. Hitler did. And, of course, in classical Vatican fashion, the perpetrator is now resting in a convent in Italy, recovering.

And since, according to all reports, this was a group of consenting adults, we here at The Scathing Atheist wish him all the best and remind him next time bring some orange juice yeah no come prepared and in holy celiac news tonight thank you thank you celiac at the request of pope francis the vatican sent out a memo to all the bishops last week regarding their company policy on how much wheat protein is enough for magic bread to also be the son of God's corpse. And the new spec on that is more than zero. Apparently, they can't be serving gluten-free cannibal crackers at communion because that would be silly. Right. No, you'd be getting carried away. I noticed, though, that the new policy does not exclude Cheez-Its. communion because that would be silly right no you'd be getting carried away i noticed though

that the new policy does not exclude cheez-its like they're missing an opportunity here just noah loudly digging into a box of cheez-its in the back of a funeral what they got crackers i'm having some crackers crackers okay so here's the official word on the science they did. According to the memo, quote, hosts that are completely gluten-free are invalid matter for the celebration of the Eucharist. Low-gluten hosts, partially gluten-free, thanks for that, got it, are valid matter, provided they contain a sufficient amount of gluten to obtain the confection of bread without the addition of foreign materials and without the use of procedures that would alter the nature of the bread.

End quote. So, literally, any idea what any of that means? You know, I get it. I get it. It's actually pretty simple science, Heath. I suppose I have to break it down for you college graduate. You see, Jesus ghost, by its very nature, rises. So if you add Jesus plus yeast, all that rising is just going to make the magic pop off the cracker.

But the gluten is sticky, so that holds him down because of the science. Oh, it's like a glue trap, but for the Holy Spirit. Yeah. A gluten trap, if you will. Yeah, that's where I was going with the gluten. Gluten. Rep. In case you're wondering, the ruling came from the Vatican's Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments.

What? That they have. Seems like you wouldn't need a full-time dedicated branch office for that weird uh anyway bottom line this makes things difficult for a small group of catholic people with celiac disease and also millions of lying assholes now that the gluten-free bread is considered unfit for the holy sacrament or persona non grata if if you will. Non. Like the bread in India. Oh, Jesus Christ. Toast.

Pumpernickel. I quit the show. Look, there's no topping gluten trap. Set yourself up for failure there. Are you sure about that? You are Keats. I am Keats. And in healthy news tonight,ance has joined italy and thank you thank you thank you france has joined italy and all the sane humans on the planet when it announced last week that in order for french children to enroll in public schools they will have to be vaccinated

adding life-saving medicine to the list of things you got to give your kid that previously apparently only contained food, water, and in France, a beret. And 99-millimeter cigarettes, yeah. Yeah, they held a vote about adding a new thing to that list of stuff you got to give your kids, and basic vaccines just barely edged out. Nothing, the list is fucking fine and also a pamphlet called did six million really die really yeah but sadly holocaust denial only came in third place in the french elections right after meh yeah right right after

meh the added vaccinations which include whooping cough, measles, mumps, rubella, hepatitis B, influenza, pneumonia, and meningitis C, are a welcome change, as a recent survey found more than 3 out of 10 French people don't trust vaccines, with just 52%

of participants saying the benefits of vaccination outweigh the risks. The other 48% saying it's probably fine if you rub some cheese in it. Also known as curd immunity. I don't like this. I just crushed it. It's weird now, guys.

Lost our edge. Yeah, no, that was not your best pun, Heath. There is no stopping me. it's a feta complete oh god i thought this was american fucking get used to it you can fuck barada that's a saying is anything you can do now what you said because he's said it yes exactly barada fucking get used to you guys exactly better than n word in the wood pile what

did you not hear about that the lady politician who was just like oh yes that's a real except she said the word in the wood pile and everyone was like what the fuck and she was like you know that expression and everyone was like nope what we don't know that expression and she was like well you're that expression. And everyone was like, nope. What?

We don't know that expression. And she was like, well, you're all being real negative Nancy's here. This is what we get for missing an episode of The Skeptocrat. Damn. What would the black person be doing in the wood? I don't understand. What's out? Stealing wood. Jesus Christ.

Wow. It got more racist. Wow. And I want to say, by the way, kudos to France. I know. Yeah. I'm going to say, by the way, kudos to France. I know. Yeah, I'm going to swing back to the story here. But kudos to France for recognizing that when you see a number like this moving towards wrong, you counteract it. You don't cater to it.

I just came back from fucking Seattle. So the dangers of treating scientific ignorance like an opinion poll kind of fresh on my mind. ignorance like an opinion poll kind of fresh on my mind oh watching noah stare guiltily at the medicinal wall in every dispensary we went to put sophie's choice to shame yeah no it was rough it was rough hello from the other side and in reacts 319 news tonight christian butt herdery over the gay pride emoji has now outlived the emoji itself by at least a couple of weeks with no obvious end point in sight. The latest manifestation thereof comes from their refusal to add a cross emoji so that Christians can use it to troll gay pride pages. Right? Which would lead to some very confused gay Christians, you'd think, right?

I mean, more than usual, because their God hates them and they refuse to acknowledge it. As it turns out. This would be harder for some reason. Now, of course, leading the charge on this newest front is notorious misinterpreter of the notion that vertical lines are slimming and fat guy in a red hat. Josh Fierstein, who released a breathless excoriation of Facebook on Facebook, though it's anybody's guess whether the breathlessness was due to outrage or just simple carryover from the exertion of hitting the record button. He always looks like he just finished trying to eat something faster than his coordination is going to allow him.

Right. Like he was shelling pistachios. He's really hot. Or figuring out a tricky pile of nachos and he couldn't get in. Something like that. It looks like he's really stretching the goodwill of that lifetime supply of Lunchables he won in 1998. Now, to be clear, despite the spittle-laden reaction of this statement from Christian Zealots, there are plenty of reasons for Facebook to dismiss their request other than just hating Jesus.

Besides the obvious issue of them only wanting it so they can fuck with LGBT people, there's also the inconvenient fact so often overlooked by Christian activists that there are also other religions and they have symbols. I can only imagine what it'd be like if Facebook tried to accommodate every goddamn one of them. Heath, Eli, get in here. Hey, man. What's up? You guys are more into technology than me. My niece just had a baby,

and I'm trying to figure out which reaction to put on the pictures. Ooh, tough one. Yeah. What religion is she? I don't know. Kind of like a wooey Christian. Oh, okay.

So highlight the cross and drag down that menu oh Jesus it's gotten real inclusive lately tell me about it hey you see the new proud of my gay son but secretly hoping he grows out of it react I did see that

guys guys guys focus sorry yeah so click the menu that's the winking crucifix. Okay. No, no, no, with the long hair. Wait, what? Yeah, no, this is sneaky religion menu. Unless you want to do praying for you,

even though you specifically asked me not to do that, react. Why would I want to do that? Okay, no, no, that one. Okay, got it. Cool. So you've got what a blessing in the metaphorical sense., no, that one. Okay, got it. Cool. So you've got what a blessing in the metaphorical sense. You could do that one. There's also grandpa is beaming down from heaven.

Just grandpa? No, no, you can tag the dead family member. It's nice. None of this is right, guys. I just want to react to this picture. Look, this picture. Oof, that is an ugly baby right right right sad face yeah definitely sad face maybe peter singer

and while i draft a quick letter of apology to my niece and explain that i was talking about a fictional baby in that skit i'm'm going to hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. A man wrote the Bible? A whore is what she was. If it's a legitimate rape. A dangerous slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey, I'm proud of a man.

This Week in Misogyny. Gee, whatever should I talk about this week? I mean, don't get me wrong, there's no shortage of news coming out of Washington to infuriate any concerned citizen. So a lot of people might have already moved past the huge slap in the face of gender equality that Paul Ryan served up last week. According to a report filed by CBS, sleeveless dresses and blouses worn by women are no longer acceptable attire in the House chamber and the Speaker's lobby. Now, before I get any emails, yes, this policy was written way before Trump, but its sudden enforcement is, according to multiple accounts, unprecedented. And look, it's Jew fucking lie. It's absolutely boiling in D.C. And I mean, if this administration wasn't

so committed to accommodating the free press, I'd start to suspect that this was just another way for them to reject questions and try to subvert that pesky First Amendment. But instead, we're asked to believe that the men we've entrusted with our highest levels of governance are just a naked bicep away from dry humping the nearest fire hydrant. Can't actually say which option scares me more. nearest fire hydrant. Can't actually say which option scares me more. And speaking of what not to wear, pastor anti-gay bigot and Oprah's next curse upon the earth to seal the seven symbol door, John Gray had some ideas during a church service for just what wives shouldn't wear, and the answer to that is apparently clothes. Now look, I'm not trying to come off as anti-naked here, but if you listen to the creepy-ass series of commands he tells his congregation to give their wives, it's hard to believe you're not watching the beginning of a serial killer movie.

He said, I quote, Every woman in here at some point wants a man to come home and say, Babe, here's $1,000. Go get your nails done. Get your hair done. Get a pedicure. Get a manicure. Okay, I've got to stop there.

$1,000 for nails and hair? Where the fuck is this person Get your hair done. Get a pedicure. Get a manicure. Okay, I've got to stop there. $1,000 for nails and hair? Where the fuck is this person getting their hair done? Anyway, after each of the members of his church has filled their hair with diamonds and painted their fingernails with caviar, he continues, quote, Here's a box. Open this. Wear this when I get home. Nothing is in it. She's like, there's nothing here.

Exactly. Have that on when I get home. The bills are paid. The kids are covered. I've prayed over you. And now handle what you need to handle so we can have a nice night. Put on Luther Vandross. Put on Luther.

And let's do what we need to do because that's what a woman wants. And she should want it because God made it that way. Well, that's a creepy turn at the end there, ain't it? I mean, everything else I can forgive, but she should want it because God made it that way? Sounds more like a North Carolina Supreme Court decision than a romantic night to me. And while I'll explain to Noah that I'm apparently entitled to a lot more hair and nail maintenance here, I'll turn things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in

Chick-fil-A holes news tonight. As listeners may be aware, Chick-fil-A has a tumultuous company history. While it would be dishonest to report that they don't make the world's most delicious sandwich, up until a few years ago, that sweet, sweet breaded chicken breast and pickle combo

came with a price namely actively supporting bigots and monstrous anti-gay charities or so we thought yeah well now it's hard to tell how much they give the gop because it's trickier now i want to back up for a second and point out that eli has now been vegan so long that a Chick-fil-A sandwich sounds tasty to him. We're talking about something that is a missing pickle away from the flavor of sun-dried chalk, and that's got his neglected suicidal taste buds watering here. You never really appreciate the finery of a Slim Jim until you can't anymore. Don't know what you got till it's gone.

Don't know what you got till it's gone. Despite making a pledge several years ago to cease its openly bigoted hiring practices and to stop giving money to organizations that promote discrimination, it turns out that they're also experts in cooking up delicious, delicious lies. Yeah, for example, cows can't paint. How would they even hold the fucking brushes, guys? Maybe they're part of the pointillist movement. Red-eye flight, folks. 48 hours, no sleep.

We'll be better rested next week, I promise. Or will we? We're a little utter the weather, I could say. That's not even... Get out of here. I want to fire Heath. That was hilarious. According to a report this week from ThinkProgress,

according to Chick-fil-A's most recent tax filing, the company donated more than a million dollars to anti-gay charities, including the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, which is strongly anti-gay, the Paul Anderson Youth Home, a Georgia-based only slightly renamed gay conversion camp,

and of course, the Salvation Army, which is a great big bucket of anti-gay, not charity as well. Alright, so what about this? Every time you eat Chick-fil-A, you have gay sex with a Christian athlete as an offset. Okay. And plant a gay tree or something. Which trees are the gayest, you think?

Pink silk trees, maybe? Arica nut palms? Buttonwoods? Actually, I was looking this up. There's a tree in Hawaii called a willy-willy. It's also known as a flame tree, so I feel like that wins. That's the gayest.

How about a hay poultry? What? You're fired. Hay. Hay. That's the sound they make. I don't know what's happening. I keep seeing clouds out of the corner of my eyes.

I keep tasting foods I haven't eaten. So sadly, aside from the fact that I'm dying, the perfect combination of ironic advertising, perfectly breaded chicken and pickles must once again be set aside, But fear not.

As far as we know, Chipotle is still as pro-gay as a restaurant can be while doing what it does to your colon. And finally tonight, in server farm to table news, a pizza restaurant in Pakistan made headlines last week thanks to their new robot waitress who greets customers, delivers food, and even helps marginalized women. I'm pasturing like an R2-D2 type FGM implement. Just a little torch pops out. Lightsaber.

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. It's fine. It's fine. Thank you. Thank you. Pushy. You're's fine. Thank you. Thank you. Pushy. You're pushy. All right.

So I did a little research about this pizza restaurant and every detail I found is amazing. First of all, the name of the place is pizza.com and they do not take online orders. The restaurant is called pizza.com. I actually checked out their website, which I want to be clear is really pizza.com i actually checked out their website which i want to be clear is not pizza.com and uh all i could find was a facebook page where they do have a link to pizza.com but again that is not their site they're just generally interested in pizza and this is my favorite part they claim to specialize in pizza and automotive services. Well, you know, I mean, that seems weird to us, but it's probably cultural, right? I mean, because I would imagine like ping pong and satanic child prostitution seems like a weird combo to people in Pakistan at first, too.

Do you think so? Then you did not attend the same shows in Thailand that I did. You know those are different places, right? It's the capital. Albany. I win. Alright, so getting back to the story. Plenty of restaurants in the world were already using robotics, but this

particular robot waitress got special attention because of its physical appearance. According to the guy who designed it, he put a large scarf around the robot's neck area in order to prevent conservative muslim customers from being offended oh jesus robot by a robot that was showing too much that's skin correct um so lots of people are asking why engineers can't just program muslim man robots to just never rape anything. Those people are being a little bit intolerant of Islam and its longstanding culture. Yeah, no, clearly the Muslim laws of robotics are weird and have a lot of subsections.

See, what we need is for that robot to sue the ACLU. Got to set a legal precedent. You see, it's important. you. You've got to set a legal precedent. You see? It's important. All right. Well, all that being said, the robot waitress does help make it possible to have your pizza to your table in less than two hours.

And that's why Pakistan just moved ahead of Chicago on the list of good places in the world to get pizza. They were neck and neck. They just took the lead. And speaking of dangerous war zones full of savages, let's put 30 seconds on the clock. Ideas for the Muslim food robot industry.

Go. All right. I want to make sure everyone understands that wasn't a racist joke. That was a Chicago joke. It was also racist. Oh, okay. I meant it to be both. How about the Terminator-y?

The fries of the Muhaddins. Ooh. How about Waleed? I was thinking of Fat Waleed, but you... About Roboco Haram Burger by Al Shababi Flay. Of course. FGFembots? C3POBM.

Right, the paranoid carandroid. What about Johnny Five Pillars? Creepy opium. Right. The paranoid carandroid. Yeah. What about Johnny Five Pillars? Five Pillars, Burgers, and Killers. Maybe Blender from Future Ramadan. Ooh, okay. Alu Akbar Bean. How about Halal 9000?

Just Dave did a Wendy's commercial. Hey, Halal 9000. How about some bacon on that? I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. Halal 9000. That was a line from the movie. Yes. But you tied it into fast food because Dave from Wendy's

is named Dave. Or you can laugh. In response is cool. And with the knowledge that nobody's going to walk away from this episode feeling under-pun today, we're going to close off the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Nope.

And joke's over. Not funny. It would be Build-A-Bear. Still not funny. We bear. And when we come back, it doesn't matter if they get it. What's important is that Eli laughed. And when we come back, Bryce Blankenagle

from Naked Mormonism will be here to smell like soup. we've now spent more than half a year working our way through the book of mormon and that exercise has elicited a lot of questions but none so frequent as what the fuck was joseph smith smoking well who better to answer that question than a person who a does a weekly podcast on mormon history and b makes a hell of a brownie. Bryce Blankenagle is the host of the serial Mormon history podcast, Naked Mormonism, and he may or may not have accidentally drugged Eli during a live performance last weekend. Bryce, welcome back to the show, man. Thank you for having me on, Noah.

I will have you know, as per counsel from the law offices of P. Andrew Torres, I thought it best to use my Fifth Amendment rights during the live show in response to certain accusations of certain food items being consumed by certain individuals on stage, which may or may not have contained psychoactive substances. I just want that on the record. Just saying. No, yeah, you want

it on the record that you're not on the record. Duly noted. Or not noted as the case may be. But on a completely unrelated note, just coming out of left field here, let's talk a little bit about the author of the great literature you're reading this year, Joseph Smith. Liar! You guys have read through the part where Lehi and Nephi had these incredible visions of a tree and and a building, you know, and in a big vast field. It's not a tree dick. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the one. Yeah. Well, the vast majority of Mormon historians make no bones about the fact that much of the Book of Mormon is just an autobiography of Joseph Smith. And conveniently, his mom was nice enough to recount some interesting dreams that Joe's dad had, just nephi recounted lehi's dream huh in the book of weird weird how that works right yeah but dreams and visions

they were seen interchangeably by mormons who read this and back then but they're much different visions can mean actual visions when people are conscious of things that aren't actually their hallucinations as some might call them oh okay okay but just to be clear about the transitive fuck properties of telling people about dreams i'm going to check with eli but i'm pretty sure by the end of this segment joseph smith and his parents are gonna owe a fuck to our patrons i don't know it's complicated is that part of the lyme disease uh no no no eli has a very strict rule that if you tell somebody about your dreams, you have to then fuck them because no one who's not fucking you wants to hear about your dreams. I kind of thought that Eli might be into Necro, but I wasn't sure. Well, I'm not saying that he's not.

Oh, okay. Again, the Fifth Amendment is going to rear its ugly head. Right, Okay. Well, anyway, speaking of these dreams and who Eli is now obligated to fuck, Lucy Mack, who is Joe's mom, wrote about these seven dreams that Joseph senior, who's Joe's dad had. And this is one of those dreams. And it's important to pay attention to some of the things he's describing. Quote, I was traveling in an open, desolate field, which appeared to be very very barren i beheld a beautiful stream of water which ran from the east to the west i could see a rope which you read in the book of mormon as a rod running along the bank of it about as high as a man could reach and beyond me was a low but very

pleasant valley in which stood a tree all right this is the focus of the vision he's looking at this tree a tree such as i had never seen before it was exceedingly handsome in so much that i looked upon it with wonder and admiration its beautiful branches spread themselves somewhat like an umbrella and it bore a kind of fruit in shape much like a chestnut burr and as white as snow or if possible whiter i gazed upon the same with considerable interest and as i was doing so the burrs or shells commenced opening and shedding their particles or the fruit which they contained, which was of dazzling whiteness. I drew near and began to eat of it. And I found it delicious beyond description.

And then after that, he turns to his guide, who is an angel walking him through this dream or this vision. And he says, I presently turned to my guide and inquired of him of the meaning of the fruit that was so delicious. He told me it was the pure love of God shed abroad in the hearts of all those who love him and keep his commandments. End quote. Man, does that sound familiar? And not just because he ripped that off directly for the Book of Mormon, but also because because I've eaten a lot of mushrooms and shit when I was a kid. Well, if you look, I included a picture in the notes, and sorry, this doesn't translate to audio very well, but you can see the picture of what he's describing. That's what's called a detourastramonium plant, and it's incredibly hallucinogenic.

We'll get into that in a second, but any anytime that somebody is describing a vision where they're following a guide around some ethereal being that's a guide and they're physically eating a plant and they feel like they're tasting God, the pure love of God. I mean, maybe it's the plant that we should focus on. Right. I mean, was Eli actually tasting the air or did he just perceive that he was tasting the air, right? So what we need to understand a definition and that definition is entheogen. So entheogens, this is the definition put out by Karl Ruck. Entheogens are a group of chemicals mainly derived from plant or fungal origins that reliably induce an altered state of consciousness

for the sole purpose of initiating a mystical or religious experience. So as you noted too earlier, common examples include psilocybe mushrooms, magic mushrooms, LSD, DMT, MDMA, and Datura, which is just what Joseph Sr. described in this vision. Okay, now are these examples of ethneogens or shit that you're going to sneak into Eli's food during live shows in the future? We're going to have to find out about that in October.

But it's super easy to break down plants into their psychoactive ingredients to preserve them through crystallization or by storing them in oil or honey or some other food substance. Hold on, I'm taking notes. A lot of people know how to do that today.

Just like when somebody's making pot brownies, for just a random example, you have to boil the plant down into the oil for a certain amount of time and then extract it, run it through a strainer. What? Everyone knows that, even the non-criminals. Everyone knows that, of course. But to us, not a lot of, you know, quite a few people know how to do that, but it's not seen as like a necessary skill. But back then in frontier America, when you didn't have massive pharmacies, that's what you had to know how to do.

Oh, right. So it was considered like almost how we treat literacy today. It's like you can't really thrive in life unless you know how to read. The same was the case for manipulating plant medicines back then. the case for manipulating plant medicines back then. But I'm sure you remember from your past life in modern day magic that some substances can have these profound effects.

That's what we call theophany, where you feel like you're touching God. I think you're overestimating my memory, but yes. I remember people telling me about me knowing that later. Yeah, but after it all happened, no video evidence of it.

But as it turns out, Joe may have been a bit of a drug pusher. He might have been drugging people, administering some plants that he gained expertise from other mentors throughout his early life in magic, and consecrating sacramental wine or boiling these things down into oil and anointing people's heads and their feet with them. But he would also, and this is important, he would program a set and setting where these people could get in a state of mind that they could have a visionary experience and actually see things. Right. Yeah. Well, a great way to get a few witnesses for the intro of your book, for example. Well said.

But this is kind of conjecture. And you can understand when you're trying to talk about Joseph Smith's motivations and what caused him to write the Book of Mormon, if you say it was all of the wine he was drinking that had a bunch of mushrooms infused in it, it might take away from the sanctity of that claim or what he was really doing. So by and large, any evidence of this has just been kind of cast away from the mainstream or misinterpreted or just blatantly ignored for whatever reason. But we're not the first people to talk about this. My research partner and I are not the first people to get into the discussion about this. There have been a few academic papers that have been written, but no comprehensive work on the impact of these things throughout Mormon

history. So that's what we're kind of trying to do. Awesome. So what would it go on? Joseph Smith had these early day, what we would call safety meetings today, those jobs, right? Yeah. Safety meeting, closet. All right, so he would have these meetings with friends in these closed doors and there are some surviving descriptions of what would happen but during these times he was programming a set and setting and giving

these people a certain dose of sacramental wine in order to get them to see God and he would promise that. So this is a quote from somebody that attended one of these. They, meaning the church members, met in a log schoolhouse near Isaac Morley's farm, hoping for a spiritual endowment. Levi Hancock, who had earlier been startled by visionaries, was baffled by what happened

that day. Joseph promised Lyman White he would see Christ that day. White soon turned stiff and white, the color white, exclaiming that he had indeed viewed the Savior. According to Hancock, Joseph himself said, I now see God and Jesus Christ is at his right hand. I'm sorry to interrupt the quote here, but I want to interject for people who have not done a bunch of hallucinogens.

It is remarkably easy to control another person's hallucinations through suggestion right like like if you say hey is that elmo behind the couch that's basically all it takes so yeah no that's i just i felt like that's kind of necessary information but but by all means carry on with the quote and that's what plays into set and setting you have to program the trip right so then he goes on to say then the meeting unravel unraveled. Joseph ordained Harvey Whitlock to the high priesthood, the most important business of the meeting, and Whitlock reacted badly. He turned as black as Lyman was white. Hancock reported his fingers were set like claws, so he had paralysis in his hands. His eyes were the shape of O's.

Huh. And dilated? Yeah, right, right, yeah. Astonished at the turn of events, Hiram exclaimed, Joseph, this is not of God! Joseph, unwilling to cut the phenomenon short, told Hiram to wait. But Hiram insisted, I will not believe

unless you inquire of God and he owns it. Hancock said, Joseph bowed his head and in a short time got up and commanded Satan to leave Harvey, laying his hands upon his head at the a short time got up and commanded satan to leave harvey laying his hands upon his head at the same time then hancock said leman copley who weighed over 200 pounds somersaulted in the air and fell on his back over a bench white cast satan out of copley and copley was calmed and it just goes on from there okay so like just imagine that you're a person on the wall

watching all this happen and you're asked later what happened here it seemed like those guys ate some fucking ass that that would be like probably the first place you'd go okay all right so yeah absolutely and so all of these these safety meetings eventually culminated in what was known as the kirtland temple dedication ceremony in march of 1836 some say that there were over a thousand people which showed up to this grand opening of a four year construction project granted the church probably could have got it done in two if it hadn't been so stoned anyway right that's pure congestion and there's a bunch of esoteric shit carved into the walls in the temple we'll talk about well i can't get into it here but the point

is that this was uh the church was only six years old at this time. Four years, you know, more than 50% of their time as a church had been spent constructing this temple. It was a culmination, a groundbreaking thing. But it was preceded by most people fasting for 24 hours prior to the dedication ceremony. And the ceremony was famously accompanied by copious amounts of wine and a little tiny bit of bread and people went ape shit i mean it was it was just amazing uh there were a lot of people saying that they saw a lot of different things and that's kind of why when like a skeptic when you or us looking back at this time we can just look back and say well fuck he must have drugged everybody well yeah i mean and it's not like he would be the first religious charlatan to use drugs to induce religious ecstasy.

Right? I mean, it's already universal in religious history until you get to sort of the modern day of understanding what these psychedelics are. And even then, you know, to a certain degree, it's still used. But yeah, certainly like all of human history up to this point, that was a fairly common practice for religious leaders. Where do you think the practice of sacrament came from when a religious leader is feeding you something? I mean, think about what he's feeding you. Who knows what's in that wine? But one problem that we have. This dick is in it.

Sorry, if you're Catholic, if you're Catholic, it doesn't. Like, there's not everybody. Not those Mormons anyway. Like it doesn't like this. I'm not everybody. Not those Mormons anyway. But one problem we have with this theory is there aren't like any actual explicit instructions from Joseph in a letter or anything telling somebody like or in Port Rockwell, who's his assistant to go into the woods and collect mushrooms or anything or to, you know, even to like go buy things, these things at an important or anything, that documentation doesn't exist, or if it does, it hasn't been found yet,

or it was burned. But that's kind of the main problem with this theory is we're only able to look at the subjective experiences and raise conjecture and say that it sounds like this is a plausible model for what we call the Smith-Entheogen theory. Right, well, no, and i can see that that like you know much like the people are trying to piece together the historical jesus anything that

wasn't complimentary would be destroyed at least to the ability of the uh of the mormons to do so so it's unlikely that you're going to find that treatise of him reflecting on all the crazy shit going on on a dollar bill for example yeah well and also the saints were chased out of Nauvoo where Joseph was doing a lot of this shit. And when you're moving thousands of miles across the country, what are you going to take? Barrels of grain or documents? Right.

I mean, a lot of it was just destroyed because they didn't make it across the plains. So that's kind of a problem. But we do have people like William McClellan who claimed at the time that the wine itself was the only endowment existing during the dedication ceremony. But there is an actual accusation from a physician by the name of Jesse Jasper Moss, and he claimed explicitly that he thought the wine was drugged when he went and attended one of these safety meetings. So this is the quote from him. was drugged when he went and attended one of these safety meetings.

So this is the quote from him. In the course of the winter, I attended their meeting. I believe I was the first person with a young man whose name I have forgotten who was present when they took what was called the sacrament up at the Morley house. They were in the habit of turning everybody out of the door when they partook of the bread and wine, putting up blankets at the windows, shutting off the site from without. So before they got commenced they chase everybody out and just a few guys remain they take the sacrament and then they invite everybody back in they started a regular powwow and when they got well going they opened

the door and let us all come in a young man and myself made it up that we would stay unless they took us out by force so this guy was a skeptic and he said hey i'm gonna go up here with my friend we're gonna sit in that meeting unless they chuck us out of the. So this guy was a skeptic and he said, hey, I'm going to go up here with my friend. We're going to sit in that meeting unless they chuck us out of the building. And then this is how he describes what happened. Quote, the poor house in Portage County, Ohio,

where there were half a dozen insane and idiotic persons was the best comparison of anything to the scene that night. Looks like the insane asylum. Wow. And if I had my cloak on on i would have stolen the wine and carried it home to see whether it was drugged or not end quote wow oh that's pretty damning

yeah he straight up accuses that they were using drugged wine and implies that there so he's like the kind of guy who would know exactly what that looked like even before like kind of you know the hippies taught us all what that kind of thing would look like. Yeah, so what more do you need with this Smith entheogen historical theory to be accepted by modern historians? Some documentation of him purchasing some of these things would be nice, but I don't know if that will even exist. But we have Joe with plenty of knowledge of how to manipulate these entheogens and store them in wine and crystallize them. We have a ton of accounts of people seeing serious shit after taking the sacrament. And then you have a physician accusing Joseph of drugging the wine used in the sacrament.

And he even used the word sacrament. What more do we need? Yeah. No, I mean, it's definitely an interesting theory. And like I said, it would explain an awful lot of what I've read in the book and what I know of Mormon history. But I feel like the religious people are insanely gullible and prone to making shit up after the fact. That's still a valid hypothesis too, right? I mean, I'm definitely interested in following up on this, but I certainly wouldn't say that that evidence is definitive. I certainly wouldn't say that, you know, that evidence is definitive. Yeah, and we're actually talking about the same thing here when it comes to, you know, that's a common refutation of this. Oh, my grandma is, you know, she saw angels and she wasn't on mushrooms at the time.

Well, we're talking about the same thing. You can get into a set and setting where your brain will click into an altered state of mind and you can see things like that or false memories can be implanted in a highly suggestible state. and you can see things like that or false memories can be implanted in a highly suggestible state. It just so happens that if you have the dose added into the equation of set and setting, your set and setting doesn't have to be as finely tuned. You can just drug a bunch of people and they will see some shit. Right, and yeah, the set and setting thing is something that you can do with one or two people. And occasionally, I guess you could do it with a whole church full of people. You see people get into that religious ecstasy state and everything. But yeah, drugs would certainly make it a lot easier yeah yeah it's a it's ambitious but all things kids drugs just make life easier there's one thing you take away

from the scathing atheist as a program i hope it's not that yeah right they'll fix all of your problems in life but well they'll replace them anyway they'll replace them with new problems exactly yeah yeah new problems my drugs suck man but all of this leads to a shameless plug for a sunstone presentation that and a live show following that i'm doing with my research partner cody niconi at sunstone instone on July 29th in Salt Lake City. And we are presenting what we call the Smith Entheogen Theory, a paper that we've been putting together for quite some time now. And we're handing out physical copies there.

We would love to meet some people who are interested in this. It's Saturday morning at 11, I believe is the session that I'm presenting. And then that evening, beginning at 8 p.m., Marie Kent of My Book of Mormon podcast and I are doing our first live show at Squatters Pub in Salt Lake City. It's on Third South and it's free. There's a suggested donation of $5. So check the Patreon page, Facebook pages for Naked Mormonism and My Book of Mormon podcast for more details on the live show. Awesome, man. And of course, Book of Mormon podcast for more details on the live show.

Awesome, man. And, of course, we'll have links to more details on the show notes if you want to learn more about Mormon history. You'll also find links to Bryce's Naked Mormonism podcast. And if you want to learn more about the history of being fucked up, we're also going to have links to the Silly Rabbit podcast by Cody Niconi. Bryce, thanks so much for helping us fill in the historical blanks once again. Absolutely. And I will add, if you go to realbookofmormon.org slash smithentheogentheory, the entire paper is put up there. You can see it, and we have a comment thread going on it.

So look forward to talking to some of you there as well. Awesome. And, of course, that will be linked as well. Thanks for having me on. You bet, man. Before we sink into blissful and overdue sleep on our incredibly comfortable Casper mattresses, I want to remind everybody that there's still time to come see us at the live record of the inciting incidents 100th episode. The show is Friday, July 14th at 7 p.m. in Carlisle,

Pennsylvania. There are still tickets available. We're going to be on stage with former NFL punter and outspoken gay rights activist Chris Cluey. Marissa will also be welcoming Andrew Torres and Thomas Smith of the Opening Arguments podcast. And Kelly Wright of the Gaytheist Manifesto. Should be a great time. You are all invited. Check the show notes for links. Anyway, that's all the blast movie we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more.

If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for GAM's 100th episode on Tuesday at 7 a.m. Eastern. We've got a special movie we've been saving with a special guest we've been saving. So get excited about that, and be assured to check out an even newer episode of our even newer show citation needed at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, this would fall far below our normal quality standards if I didn't thank Heath Enright for literally working overnight

on an airplane in an effort to get this show ready to go. I need to thank the lovely Lucinda Lusions for all the shit you forget your spouse does for you until you're away from him for a week and a half. I need to thank the lovely in his own way Eli Bosnick for managing to keep his sense of humor after being inadvertently drugged during a live show. I also want to thank Marissa for providing this week's Farnsworth quote again, check the show notes, come see the show. But most of all, of course, I need to thank this week's best people, Janine Sojo, right? Devin

Mitchell, Bob, Jason, James Bennett, David, Caleb, Teresa, Chris. I think therefore I gam Jonathan ate a baby, Daniel nine millimeter atheists, therefore I gam, Jonathan, Ada, baby, Daniel, 9mm Atheist, Brandon, and Melissa. Janine, Sojo, Wright, Devin, and Mitchell, whose IQs are higher than Eli eating brownies during a live show. Bob, Jason, James, Bennett, and David, whose erections give the early universe rate of expansion envy. Caleb, Teresa, Chris, I think, therefore I gam, and Jonathan, whose Kung Fu is so advanced Neo was just demoted to The Six. And Daniel, 9mm Atheist, Brandon, and Melissa, who are so sexy the MPAA pays a guy to walk 100 paces ahead of him, warning the onlookers.

Together, these 20 plenty-friendly gems relinquish many pennies when we asked them, and that was awful nice of them. If you'd like to join their ranks, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free edition of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com, and if you'd like to help

but you'd like your money more, you can also help a ton by giving us a five-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadeus.com and if you'd like to help but you'd like your money more you can also help a ton by giving us a five-star review on itunes or by telling a friend about the show emphatically legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of p andrew torres and our audio engineer is morgan clark who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode which was used with permission if you have questions comments or death threats you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingatheist.com it really was according to the weather according to the weather.

According to the report. Thank you. Oh, damn it. Oh, I... The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm, LLC. Copyright 2017. All rights reserved.