The Scathing Atheist - ScathingAtheist165: Fully Taxable Edition

Episode Date: April 14, 2016

On this week’s episode, we’ll make last week’s episode seem dated, babies and other large containers will be subject to random search by police, and Eli and Lucinda will be here to help us divvy up the sex slaves in another installment of Quranimaniacs.

Warning, the following podcast contains language that would make Aunt Betty faint. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the new Conspiracy Watchdog service that sends you monthly updates on how the secret cabal of architect wizards are affecting your mortgage rate. FreemasonReport.com, website powered by Prayer Space. And now, The Scathing Atheist. powered by Prayer Space. And now, the Scathing Atheist.

Hi, this is Pastor Matty, and I just want all the faggots who are putting seabed in the lattes to know that upon someone had a baby out of their butt. Well, not necessarily. I read it on the FIFA Onion

article backslash for what I was trying to get on that church website y'all did last year, and I couldn't do it, so I went on the Googles instead, and they said that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey man. It's Thursday.

It's April 14th. And when instructions tell me to cut something, quote, at an angle, that's useless to me. You cut something not at an angle. No shit. I have no illusions. I'm Heath Enright, and from Spittooned Out, Valdosta, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, we'll make last week's episode seem dated. Babies and other large containers will be subject to random search by police. And Eli will be here to help us divvy up the sex slaves in another installment of Karana Maniacs. But first, the diatribe.

Off the top of my head, if I had to guess, I would say that at least half of the movies that we've reviewed for the Gamcast have had some variation on the finding Jesus makes you a better parent theme. I mean, you know, Jesus is the cure for what ails you. So whether the protagonist is dealing with marital issues or an ethical quandary or a problem on a job or a sinful addiction to those godless vixens in the internet box, Jesus is going to swoop down and set everything right before it's over. But of the problems Jesus tends to fix in these movies, I'd say a solid 60% or more are parental in nature. And by the way, for some reason, every Christian screenwriter has the same vehicle for establishing a parent's absenteeism. It's always a cell phone. Somebody's always taking a business call instead of paying attention to the baseball game or asking how

school was or something like that. And these screenwriters seem to have no concern for the actual importance of said phone call either. We watched a fucking movie where the dad was losing his business on the phone meanwhile the kids trying to tell him about a high score on some video game and the movie would have us believe that his inattentiveness in that moment put him on pretty much the same level as sybil's mom invariably of course the the photophilic parent will go through a bible reading montage angrily yell at god apologize to god for yelling at him and then smash their cell phone with a hammer or something to underscore the fact that paying attention to the baseball game is way more important than some, you know, silly old steady income. And this is just yet another reinforcement

of the parental guilt that sits at the heart of so much of religion's marketing. I mean, I'm sure that the pitch has gotten tougher since we all learned that church youth groups are rapier than cell block E, but the message is still ubiquitous. Good parents take their children to church, or at least drop them off at church and then don't ask questions later about why they're crying. Of course, most people watching these movies are grandparents, right? Most of their kids are having trouble parenting or having trouble in their marriage because that kind of shit's really hard. I mean, I've never done any parenting, but I've also never done any astronaut training, and I still feel confident saying that shit's hard. So the movie's trying to implant the message to grandma to remind her son that the reason his kid keeps

eating bugs is because he doesn't love Jesus enough. And for some reason, all the rape wasn't enough to erase this broad societal presumption that kids need them some church and so even a nominally religious parent is predisposed to agree with this. So you know, you couple this meme with grandma constantly telling mom about this movie that she saw when a husband finds Jesus and stops hitting his wife and ignoring the kids and being a bad parent or whatever. And what you wind up with is a person convinced that Jesus is going to solve all of their problems, all the while, of course, they're ignoring real solutions. You know, real shit that could really help. Think about how fucking insidious this is.

The people promoting this message are saying it's more important that we get some asses in the pews than it is that you or your spouse get psychological counseling or other forms of help that have actually been shown to improve parenting skills. Ignore your problems. Read this fucking book. Jesus will take care of that shit eventually. And if he doesn't, it's because you didn't love him enough. I mean, at best, all this does is convince people that their interpersonal relationships can and will be taken care of by some outside force, that something other than hard work and dedication is going to fix their marriage or their relationship with their kids. their kids, that getting Jesus' forgiveness resets the clock on any psychological or long-term damage you might have already done through

neglectful parenting or espousing. I mean, isn't that always the problem with religion, though? Basically, all the issues boil down to the reliance on something that doesn't exist to solve a problem that does, and the more important the problem, the more dangerous the pretend solution. Now, of course, in the parts of the world that listen to podcasts, most of these issues have largely been mitigated. You know, we still read the occasional story about some jackass parent treating their kids diabetes with prayer or something. And granted, those stories are nowhere near as occasional as we'd like them. But by and large, people don't turn to their

pastor for medical treatment anymore. You know, science and an improving social safety that has taken care of most of the former functions of organized religion, but even the more mainstream and liberal theists seem reluctant to hand over the reins of psychology. You know, there's more to counseling than just nodding a lot and offering advice. It's a damn important profession for a lot of people, and offering up a non-scientific, non-evidence-based competitor to it would be bad enough, even if the religious counselors were bound by all the same ethical rules as their secular counterparts and of course they're not and and all the while religious adherents hide behind the well at least they have somebody to talk to defense or something like that but that's insane how many people with mental illnesses are

slipping through the cracks because they're counting on their pastor to make the voices go away and say what you will about psychological counseling but at least it's evidence-based at least bad ideas can eventually die. And if you think the same is true of religious counseling, I've got some Mormon anti-masturbation pamphlets you're going to love. Now, of course, even worse, the most basic tenets of modern psychology are entirely incompatible with the cornerstone of religious morality. Religious morality is prescribed. It's universal. It's full of thou shalts and thou shalt nots, which modern psychologists have learned are essentially the least effective way of encouraging socially

acceptable behavior. And then, of course, Abrahamic faiths further complicate the issue by starting from original sin and telling people that they're inherently flawed and that they don't have the power to fix themselves and that they deserve punishment and hell and shit. I mean, you're not just keeping people away from effective therapy. You're exacerbating the problem. You're giving them anti-therapy. I mean, somebody to talk to my ass. Your religion isn't a placebo. It's a poison. They're talking about you, Jesus.

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight is a guy whose head was already shaved and couldn't possibly make a worse Lex Luthor than Jesse Eisenberg, Heath Enright. Heath, are you ready to take on the Man of Steel? Yeah, I mean, it's probably good timing. Imagine he's still tired from the thorough deep dicking that Zack Snyder gave him. No shit.

It would have been more gripping if the two of them just argued over a shared hedgerow for three hours. In our lead story tonight, those godless Jew lawyers from Wisconsin are suing the IRS and the Treasury Department. Again. And the lawsuit is in response to these government bodies refusing to do a large swath of their job description. Again. Right. hundred million dollars a year seven hundred million dollars a year in taxes they don't collect from religious leaders thanks to the blatantly unconstitutional parsonage exemption 700 million a year fuck that's a lot of money i mean do you know how many sexually abused children

you could silence with that kind of money 503 the los angelesiocese already figured that one out. It's $660 million, round it up. But still, it's a lot. The exemption in question comes from a 1954 law, which, again, isn't supposed to count because it contradicts the First Amendment. Clearly. Yet somehow it continues to count. And it allows religious leaders to receive big chunks of untaxed income, use it to pay for housing, and then make the tax evasion even worse by deducting mortgage interest and property taxes. So the FFRF is challenging the part of the IRS code that deals with this exemption, pointing

out that it clearly discriminates against the leaders of non-religious community organizations who also tend to earn money and live in buildings. More often than not, yeah. And also, all the non-religious organizations do stuff. I mean, we're subsidizing the least important profession.

No one has ever been paid for something more useless, and I feel confident saying that even as a person who says fuck into a microphone for a living. Right. So I was thinking about it, actually. It seems like there might be a solution here

that benefits all parties. Do tell. Yeah, so we start taking that $700 million every year. I like it. And simultaneously, a whole bunch of pastors have a way easier time getting their pile of money through that eye of the needle when they die. Right, yes, exactly.

Or not, I really don't care. But meanwhile, we could spend that money on literally anything else. Yeah. Lottery tickets, shares of Anacost Steel. There's plenty of better investments out there. Now, granted, I will admit, there is at least one trade-off. I mean, losing the exemption would make it harder for churches to lure in pastors from that lucrative private sector god medium industry.

Right, right. to lure in pastors from that lucrative private sector god medium industry. So it might dilute the magical ghost talker talent pool. But that literally doesn't matter. Those are nonsense words. Well, and it anti-matters, too, because those people would have other jobs doing productive shit if it wasn't for that, right? Anyway, and in putting the bang in Bangladesh news tonight, the U.S. State Department announced last week that they're considering offering asylum to secular Bangladeshi bloggers a mere three years after terrorists started hacking them to death in the streets. And as grudging and dilatory as this response seems, I'm pretty sure that it's still more than the government of Bangladesh has actually done. Of course, this all comes in the wake of the 10th in a three-year string of brutal public executions by militant Islamists.

The latest victim, Nazimuddin Samad, was attacked with a machete and then shot on his way home from university in the capital city of Dhaka last Thursday. Okay, so I'm going to blame the murderer first, but I'm also blaming all of Islam right after that. I'm with you. Remains largely their fault, too, until we see the vast majority of Muslim communities get a brand new book that starts with, sorry, that shit was crazy. Definitely don't kill people. Our bad, our bad. New game. And same goes for the Bible, honestly.

I mean, Christians and Jews aren't sword murdering lots of atheists at the moment, but same guilt principle applies if they do. Yeah, right, right, exactly. Whichever books are causing people to sword murder people in public, those are all bad books. So this outbreak of violence began in 2013, assuming you ignore all the secular writers and poets that they killed back in the 90s, but it really ramped up the following year when a group called Defenders of Islam released a hit list of seven dozen Bangladeshis, all deemed enemies of Islam, for their opposition to replacing the nation's secular government with an Islamic theocracy. Of course, many contend that the government is just pandering to the 89% Muslim majority

by treating these brutal homicides like minor inconveniences. So speaking in defense of local law enforcement, Bangladeshi officials pointed out that the police there are sniveling fucking cowards. Yeah, it's a very futuristic society over there in bangladesh so the cops are all soft right yeah apparently muslim wesley snipes is running around murder death killing bloggers like fucking simon phoenix i don't get enough demolition man references in my life you don't so there you go everybody i'm appreciated in response to this latest attack and bangladeshi authorities continued keystoning about it the u.s government has stepped up and suggested that they

may move beyond the putting frowny emoticons on the Facebook page phase of foreign policy here. And you know what? I'm thinking an influx of unemployed, well-educated atheist writers might be good for business. After all, we just had to fire

all those Guatemalan orphans over at Skepticrad. So if there's any recent secular Bangladeshi expatriates listening, send me your best list of puppy rape analogies and we'll see what we can do. Might have some work for you. And in the invisible hand that strokes the market news, North Carolina is slowly learning

the economic downside to legalized bigotry. Shame they had to. Because apparently the morality downside wasn't compelling. Following the cancellation of a concert scheduled for last weekend by Bruce Springsteen in protest of House Bill 2, internet porn provider xhamster.com decided to follow suit and started a symbolic porn siege on the states last week. I love those words. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

Hit those North Carolina legislators where it hurts. And it's going to hurt more than usual because they'll have blue balls. love it hit those north carolina legislators where it hurts and it's going to hurt more than usual because they'll have blue balls you know i i want to be clear i'm not publicly endorsing kicking north carolina state legislators in the nuts however and this bit's important in that clear i'm also not condemning it i'm purely agnostic here yeah so uh in case anyone's not familiar hb2 is the grossly ignorant legislation recently passed in North Carolina aimed at stopping all the trans people from using the bathroom of their gender identity. Right.

The new law also prevents local governments from trying to make laws that would grant these people equal rights. For example, the equal right of dressing like a woman and raping people in the ladies room. Well, until trans people are allowed to shit where they want and rape whomever they please dress as whatever they please just like every other american x hamster is blocking access to all the state's ip addresses well you could just make raping people in bathrooms illegal but that would be a big asshole i guess i mean you know i mean i get where x hamster is coming from here but i feel really bad for all the trans people that were like, well, fuck, now that I can't shit publicly, I guess I'll just stay home and masturbate.

Wait a minute. What's this? Fuck. Now, at first mention, it seems like this might be mostly a meaningless gesture by the porn site, especially in a state full of, of course, good Christians. Oh, right. But according to a spokesman for X Hamster, quote, judging by the stats of what you North Carolinians watch, we feel this punishment is a severe one. We will not stand by and pump revenue into a system that promotes this type of garbage. End, quote, morality lesson from the porn site to the state of North Carolina.

End quote morality lesson from the porn site to the state of North Carolina. And I just – this never occurred to me before, but I can't imagine there's any profession that would rob you of your faith in humanity quicker than guy who gets to see what everyone searches for on a porn site. And one last thing just for the record, in case anyone was curious about those stats they mentioned, X Hamster decided to announce a few pertinent numbers. Their records show that North Carolina residents search for transsexual about 400,000 times each month and search for gay about 320,000 times. Oh, trans is funny. Yeah. Granted, I was there for a few days last spring, which probably skewed it, but these numbers are still impressive. So make no mistake about it. The siege is very real.

And now we wait. I love that you moved up the monthly numbers there. That's awesome. Well done, sir. And in the It's a Ball World After All news tonight, pseudo-historian and every old white guy who's ever asked you questions slowly when you're in a hurry, white guy who's ever asked you questions slowly when you're in a hurry david barton got that much less distinguishable from kevin swanson last week when he accused disney movies of turning animals into pagan gods on his wall builders live radio program and yes it was called that before donald trump made it cool barton issued a dire warning about the consequences of anthropomorphizing

animals which include apparently apparently, Satan. Yeah, and just to be extra safe, lawmakers responded by drafting a new bill that would require centaurs to use the bathroom that, quote, corresponds with the species of their genitals in North Carolina. Of course, according to Barton, who could have attributed his opinions on Disney movies to Thomas Jefferson without changing his standing in historical academia, the animal rights movement in America began in response to the 1942 release of Disney's Bambi. Except it had to percolate for 30 years or so and start in another country because he apparently didn't bother to check where or when the animal rights movement started.

But the key is, quote, if you look back at the time of the Bible, a lot of idols back then were actually animals. Dagon, for example, was the fish god. So obviously things with talking animals in them are bad, except for donkeys and snakes. Okay, so I read back over this several times. I'm still not sure what's happening. Is the crux of this guy's argument that the animal rights movement is a bad thing? Absolutely, yes. Yes, that's what he was saying.

Now, he did make it clear that he wasn't advocating beating animals, and you know you ventured a pretty good ways off the ethical path when you feel the need to reassure. I didn't mean beating animals. Yeah, exactly right. But he pointed out that it isn't satanic to not beat your animals and in fact the bible encourages you to be kind to him when you're not murdering and satiating god's unquenchable thirst for innocent blood of course but quote you don't worship your animals you don't make a day gone god out of them and that's what we've now done end quote which is true if you know me and my cat so apparently we're sliding down the inevitable road

to sacrificing our babies to parry the platypus, which means that quick before I lose her to Disney-inspired human sacrifice, we should take a short break and hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. The gay Dagan apologetic. It's new. A man wrote the Bible? A whore is what she wants. If it's a legitimate race.

Then it's your slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey! I'm proud of a man. This week in Masagia. You know, doing this segment has hazardous to my mental health. Normally, I have the disposition of a kitten in a Disney movie. I'm super slow to anger. I'm patient with dumb people. I'm always able to find the silver lining. In other words, I'm the opposite of my husband. But the more I read these fucking stories every week, the more religion etches away at my cheerful disposition and leaves a jaded vulgarian in its place.

Like, for example, astute listener Carl sent me a story this week about a public caning in Indonesia. You remember Indonesia, right? It's the one that all the Islamic apologists bring up when they're talking about how civilized Muslim countries can be. So yeah, this is the story of a 20-year-old woman being publicly whipped bloody with a cane by the government for having sex with her boyfriend.

During the barbaric punishment, she screamed for mercy before losing consciousness and was eventually rushed to the hospital for treatment. And I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to find a silver lining in this shit? At least she was unconscious for the last few lashes. At least she had more fun than people that went to see Batman versus Superman. I'm cresting at straws here. And if I try to comfort myself with a broader, more statistical view, it's no help.

I mean, there will always be terrible one-off stories, but from everything I'm seeing through most of the world, these problems are just getting worse. For example, a recent study out of Pakistan found that honor killings rose by 10% over the last two years. And if you're not familiar, honor killing means murdering a helpless woman because they're women and you can get away with it. And according to that country's Independent Human Rights Commission, that happened at least 1,100 times in Pakistan just in 2015. And again, where's an optimist to go from here? All I've got is eventually they'll kill off all of the women and no girls will have to be born in Pakistan. But that's a long ways off yet.

So in a desperate effort to find something positive to close with tonight, I started asking myself why. I mean, the title of the segment kind of assumes that sexism is sitting at the heart of all of this. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the misfortune of women all over the world may have nothing at all to do with misogyny. I mean, it could just be that women collectively lost their salvation because of all the masturbating and God's just punishing them for it. At least that's the theory of Christian author Mac Major, who warned Facebook last week that Christian women are losing their salvation by using dildos, which he called a direct path to Satan.

He went on to bolster his dildo expertise cred by pointing out that, quote, dildos and all of those other sex toys have been used for thousands of years in demonic sex rituals. End of quote. He went on to implore anyone reading his Facebook page that owned a dildo to get rid of it. My guess is that he's starting a collection drive at church. And that's going to do it for my segment this week, but I hope we all learned something today.

If you want a happy ending, you finish it up with sex toys. And on that cheerful note, I'll hand things back over to Noah and Heath. Thank you, Lucinda. And in Dios Odio Fagus news tonight, according to the Amorous Leticia, issued last Friday by Pope Performance and Francine Drugs, gay people are still grody, but perhaps not to the max. Oh, that's nice of him to say.

Right? Amidst pages of florid nebulous platitudes about how better is better than worse and trees are pretty, he pointed out that even though gay people aren't as good as straight people they still deserve protection from unjust discrimination note that immediately after that though he qualifies that by pointing out that withholding marriage equality still falls under the just discrimination category according to according to god of course he's like the like super progressive Klan guy who's nice to all the lynching victims. Yeah, right, right.

Packs them a lunch. So I'll agree we won't use ethnic slurs during the hate crime. Just be reasonable. So apparently this long-awaited document was being billed as Pope Frackrock's answer to all of the social issues dividing the Catholic Church, a debate that can largely be summed up by asking if you'd rather have your morality reflect the 1950s or the 1850s. And while many were hoping for a sweeping endorsement of a progressive church or even a mild departure from a regressive one, what they got instead was a bunch of, okay, let's not stomp on them with boots and shit anymore, but equality, fuck off.

Yeah. So just to be clear, if you asked the supreme boss of Catholicism what he's doing about changing the hate group he runs, his answer is, I wrote a weekly worded essay about it. Right, that mostly endorsed it. I kind of didn't say anything about it. Yeah, exactly. So let's talk specifics here. translated document, quote, we need to acknowledge the great variety of family situations that can offer a certain stability, but same-sex unions may not simply be equated with marriage. No union that is temporary or closed to the transmission of life can ensure the future of society, end quote. Or, as Pastor Manning would say, there is no life in directum. Also, also, my wife can't have kids, so apparently we're gay, too.

He also soft-pedals an endorsement for gay conversion therapy in his little bigotry prospectus before waving a disapproving finger at all those corrupt governments that force churches to obey anti-discrimination laws. So hooray for Catholicism. You guys just got some prefix-less grass. Just regular grass. Just got some prefix list grass, just regular grass. And in C words news tonight,

everyone's favorite conservative Christian columnist commentator. Can't think of any others. Ann Coulter wrestled herself out from under the house that landed on her and did an appearance on the Eric Metaxas show last week. And this of course gave her the opportunity to voice her continued support for Donald Trump. Obviously. In particular, Coulter praised the GOP frontrunner for avoiding drugs and alcohol his whole life, which she believes tells us a lot about

his strong personal morality and self-discipline. Apparently, she forgot about the divorce and adultery stuff because when that was pointed out, her response was basically, poof! unlike getting drunk and or high adultery actually is immoral i mean most of the time sometimes she says it's okay or so i'm told but i'm curious how she knows about this drug use thing i mean does she she'd get a sample after he pisses on her face every week or something? Oh, God, I would pay so much money to piss on her face. I wouldn't pay her.

I'd pay someone else to sneak me in. Next Patreon goal. There we go. We hired. All right. So here's the actual exchange that happened. Coulter complimented Trump for the sobriety and then metaxas jumped in to mention the adultery rumors about marla maples that came out while the donald was still married

to ivana at which point coulter starts trying to downplay the cheating by pointing out that donald and marla met at a church oh well in that which is probably false doesn't matter regardless coulter's argument was that meeting your mistress at a church makes it much more acceptable. You know, just like murder. Yeah. According to A. Coles, quote, there are degrees of murder. There are degrees of adultery. It's not his strongest point.

Oh, well, he's the only one who's going to build the wall. Oh, I see. strongest point no well no he's the only one who's gonna build the wall oh my so you that the surrogate the the pro-trump person for Trump yes it's not clear compared him to a murderer well yeah he cheated on his wife but it was like the negligent vehicular homicide of adultery really and finally tonight from the Napper cell file the Council on American Islamic Relations filed a lawsuit against the U.S. government last week for illegal bias against Muslim people in its anti-terrorism efforts. And that includes Muslim babies, apparently. Yes, it does. In particular, one of the 18 plaintiffs is a young child who was allegedly put through extremely invasive screening at a Michigan airport back when he was seven months old.

After TSA personnel noticed the infant baby was on the FBI's suspected terrorist watch list. Presumably after he joined the Muslim Little Brotherhood. I guess. Well, look, look, man. If babies weren't terrorists, they wouldn't wear those little ass turbans all the time. So I get it. I get it. And you know what?

And when I come to think about it, I hear kids praising Allah constantly. I'm not sure what oxen free means in Arabic, but it's probably death to America or something like that. So get them. So based on the accounts from many of the plaintiffs Mostly the ones who can read It sounds like the TSA puts a special stamp on boarding passes For people on the watch list To remind security to be extra random with their searching of those passengers But in fairness to the authorities

They do that with Muslim people regardless of the stamp And regardless of being a baby or not. And also if you just look Muslim at all. So I'm not sure if they're going to be able to establish any sort of bias was at play here. Clearly, it's not just Muslims being harassed. I mean, plenty of Sikhs, also Puerto Ricans, other Mexicans, if you're not white, lots of other people, too, several of whom weren't Muslim. As we occasionally learn when they shout i'm not muslim just let me go through this point being it's all done fairly

yeah no no it definitely passes the uh the sam harris sniff test okay so uh it's good to hear that the department of homeland security isn't just going to let airplane bombers get away with hiding explosives in a baby's diaper. And even if this particular incident never actually happened, I'm sure it did, but even if it didn't, it's probably good strategy to announce that we caught a jihadist baby every so often for appearances, as dumb as that sounds. But I am hoping the FBI can learn to base their watch list on something a little more sophisticated than brown baby from Dearborn, Michigan gavel. Right.

See how it goes. Either way, now that we're ratcheting up the airport security on babies, I am looking forward to finding out what they do with the new procedures. And we're here to help with that. Of course. Because we're patriots. We are. So let's go ahead and put 30 seconds on the clock just for the tsa airport safety

announcements for the new crackdown on baby terrorists go all right now remember guys clever baby terrorists will often fill their diapers with fertilizer did you load this diaper yourself in your sight the entire time what about um always keep your eyes peeled for a shoe bomber? Velcro and bronze are a dead giveaway. Right. How about, look, if they're bringing a baby on the plane, they might not be terrorists, but they're definitely assholes, so fuck it. All right. What about, sorry, but no test tubes larger than two ounces.

Also, you can't say mom on an airplane. You can't say mom on an airplane. Of course, we take it seriously. Ma'am where do you think allah finds all those virgins about all members of al pre-kata have to go in their own separate bin separate bin laptop tablet and of course of course civil rights here anything you coup can be used against you in a court of law about um you can fit enough c4 to take down a plane in that little soft spot on their head oh fuck that's why we always double you're gonna press down and make sure it's come right out you just roll them right out um how about uh you'll hear this one i'm sure josh duggar to Cavity Search Room 4, please. Assistance in CSR 4.

I got one more. What about if you see a suspicious baby lying around, grab it, run outside, and throw it in a dumpster. Always be safe. Like anyone needs to tell me that. And now that I have prom night dumpster baby stuck in my head, I guess we can bring the headlines to a close. Heath, thanks as always.

Yahtzee. And when we come back, Eli will be here to crack open the Quran and see who it's okay to murder in this surah. Hello, this is Lucifer speaking. Hi, Lucifer. This is Heath from Scathing Atheist. And the Skeptocrat.

And God Awful Movies. I know. You guys have three podcasts going now. What can I do for you? Yeah, yeah. Scathing Atheist, Skeptocrat, God Awful Movies. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to complain, but it seems like from the way I'm reading this contract,

I should be really good at guitar by now, and I'm not. Right, right. Okay, let me pull up your file here yeah no problem um looks like oh hold on looks like you haven't fulfilled your end of the contract really uh are you sure because i looked over it pretty carefully did you did you look over clause eight uh the abortion one right yeah it It seems here that you agreed to be responsible for at least one abortion a year, and I'm not seeing any impregnations. Well, yeah. Been a little slow in that department.

But I talked to lots of pregnant women on the street about the mistake they're about to make and how it could come out looking like me. Make a whole lot of good points. Did that not lead to a few candidates dropping out of the race? You know what I mean? I mean, good effort, but no, not that I'm seeing. Hmm. Okay. Well, can I move some of my spilled seed credits over from Clause 5?

Because I've been kind of overachieving there. Well, you know, sins of On owning aren't exactly like roll over minutes. But let me double check the records. I mean, holy shit, man. Slow down or you're going to start a fire. It's been lonely. Wow. I mean, just how do you – you know what?

Never mind. I don't want to know. I'm ambidextrous. That helps. That helps. So about those guitar skills, I mean, from what I hear, that'll actually help out with the abortion rate thing. Yeah.

Well, you know, look, you've been driving a lot of souls away from Jesus. We do like that. But have you bitten the heads off of any nocturnal mammals recently, maybe? Not that I... I mean, what's recently? What are we saying? This is the beginning of the year. No.

Any marsupials? No. Amphibians? Really haven't bitten the head off of anything recently. That's not great. I'm not going to say bad, but I am going to say not great. Hold on, though. I've told a lot of kids about the Easter Bunny.

Oh, okay. That's good. Have you drank any of their blood? No. Okay. Look, Heath, I want to help you out here, but you've got to give me something to work with. I mean, from what I'm seeing here, the best I can do for you is a mean vuvuzela. Come on, man.

I'm worse than that. Like, recorder. I'm sorry, but I'm looking over your file now, and I'm not seeing anything that would merit. Okay, wait a minute. What's this about a puppy? Thanks, Satan. Anytime, bro. Oh.

When we first started reading the Hebrew Bible back in 2013, the most striking and frustrating aspect was the mind-numbing repetitiveness of the entire ordeal. Pages of begats would give way to redundant stories, which would precede recollections of those stories, which would precede reminders of those same recollections. But if there's anything that can make a person miss the cohesive, linear storytelling of the Old Testament, it's half a dozen rambling surahs of Quran. This book is the best pitch for Judaism I've ever heard.

Right? Rabbis just show people the Quran and say, we're like the opposite of this. You could be reading this, motherfuckers. These people think we're the bad guys. So we're back to knockout surahs 7 and 8 this week. But before we can do that, we need to give my wife's future divorce lawyer something to work with. So, Lucinda, welcome back. Yeah, I want to make sure the courts are on my side when they divide up our possession.

Yeah, right. Paid for part of that bag, too. All right. Well, there's that, too. And, of course, joining us from the post-Batman v. Superman comic book geek rehabilitation center in upstate New York is our good friend Eli Bosnick. Eli, good of you to join us, spider-man spider-man i'm okay i'm okay i'm good they all right they clockwork orange with the first batman movie now luckily we had a bit of a lighter reading this week uh we've got a long boring chapter and a short crazy chapter, you know, both chapters are both boring and crazy, but each one excels in one of those fields. So we're going to start with

boring and long, and that would be a chapter called The Heights. Yeah, here's my first thought on this one. It's strange that a book keeps reminding you to read itself, right? That's just weird. If you're reading this, keep reading this. Just The author. It's like a Kirk Cameron movie. Wonderful. In a lot of ways. And then in verse four, we get a really weird question. It asks, how many towns have we destroyed? Like, seriously, you know those towns we raped and pillaged in the middle of the night?

How many was that? And like, am I supposed to write the answer in the margin? They didn't leave a blank. Shout out the answer as soon as I know it. You get a feeling that the part of that that's edited out is, no, don't write that part down. No, I was trying to remember. Are you writing this? Don't write this.

Stop writing. There's probably quite a bit of that. And then there's a bunch of, you know, you'll be sorry you ignored me when I murder you for ignoring me stuff from God. Yes, I affectionately refer to this part of the Koran as the text from your ex threatening to kill herself apologetic. None of it matters anymore. I blocked you on Facebook.

I can't see it. Do it. You won't. Well, and then God's all, why doesn't anybody ever thank me for the AIDS, you greedy fuckers? Yeah, right. I didn't give you AIDS. Also, this is such a little thing, but in my version of the text, they use the term monished. And I have never, ever heard that word used.

So I Googled it and it means the same as admonished. So, again, stand by my theory that John Meadows Rodwell is just pulling a giant prank on me. Because later on in my version, the quote quote is we have established you on the earth and I'm like you won't break me John I won't break well for for what it's worth both monished and established are underlined by my spell check so I think you're in the right here yeah and then we revisit satan getting all chucked into hell and we get a few new details on that one yeah that was odd so after satan refused to bow to adam god was all like go to hell and satan was like grant me respite until the resurrection and god's all like okay and satan was like good because between now and then i'm gonna fuck up all your plans constantly and god's like damn it already granted him respite. Oh, yeah, it's all knowing.

Yeah, this is basically the wrestling your little brother version of a truce. Like, I said truce! I bite your arm! I'm gonna use that truce! And by the way, that's the conversation that led to the beginning of the war between good and evil.

Yeah, yes. Satan says, yeah, I'm going to be a bad guy. I'm going to corrupt all of humanity. And God's like, come on, don't. Seriously. Seriously. He told you what he was going to do, which is at least as bizarre as Muhammad's drunken recollection of the Adam and Eve story, by the way.

Oh, man, I could have done so much better. There was some tree or something, and Satan's all like, eat from that one or something. But I forgot the other part where God said, you know, don't do that. But then he did. Basically that for nine verses, and you're good to go. Basically that for an entire book. Yeah.

This book is remembering something in front of the cops of religious texts. It's like, okay, wait. We were going to buy some cigarettes from the – no, store. Am I free to go? Am I free to go? Am I free to go? No, man, you're in the back of a cop car. Am I free to go, though? No.

For the third time, sir. And the part when Adam and Eve find out about dicks and vaginas, it was a little different than I remember from the Old Testament. The way they described it, Allah put clothes or raiments, whatever he calls it, over their junk. But Satan was like, oh, check it out. Over the pants doesn't count. I never said.

Yeah, then it basically pauses for a verse to explain the concept of business casual. Right. So when you come to worship, you don't have to go all ball gown and shit but don't show up in a making bacon t-shirt and carbon shorts tuxedo t-shirt is ideal yeah exactly and then we get more apologetics again along the lines of hey when i appear in the sky i'm gonna be the only god that appears in the sky so it's gonna be crazy

obvious that all the people are worshiping the wrong shit. But you guys, how awkward it'd be for him and Thor to show up on the same day. Just like, Oh, you said Thursday. I thought you meant like Thursday, but we're in a week where there's a, my bad.

You go, you go. I'm going to, do you want the hammer? I hear the hammer works great. It's all you. And, uh,

honestly, the Quran gives us heathens way more credit than the Bible does. Because in the book of Revelation, atheists are bent over getting raped by a flying scorpion horse locust. And we're like, actually, James Randi built one with a drone. You couldn't tell. Skeptical. At least in this example in the Quran, when God hovers down from the sky, all us atheists are like, yeah, okay, okay. I fucked that one up, my bad.

Well, and then we talk hell. Oh, yes. And apparently in line for hell, everybody's going to be really bitchy. Right. It'll be a pain in the ass. What the fuck was this all about? There's all this shit about like, and when you go to hell for eternity, Ed's going to look at Dave and hey god dave deserves double punishment i guess that's two eternities of torment i don't know and god will reply double eternities for everybody i don't care who started it you're gonna need to

learn not to rise to it both of you go burn in fire forever yes both of you that's basically the shit we get in this book also apparently all apparently all the people in heaven are going to look down and talk shit to the hell people. Yeah. They're going to be like, oh, shit. Did you guys not get chosen? That's so weird. Were you cutting off foreskins and clits or just foreskins?

Just foreskins? Classic blunder. Your own fault. Classic blunder. And then there's what I took as a half ass answer to the problem of evil it basically said yeah God has this place all neat and tidy before all you non-Muslims

showed up so it's really kind of your fault basically his answer to why is there evil in the world is I don't know what you're talking about Muslims are perfect this is God by the way not Mohammed pay attention to the man behind the curtain. Exactly.

A lot of that in this one, too. And then he launches into Noah's Ark story, bolstering my theory that Muhammad basically just read the first half of Genesis and said, yeah, I can do this shit. Yeah, and the Old Testament was painful to read already. Yeah, right. Now I'm reading the same story translated like a fucking Japanese instruction manual, like an illiterate Japanese guy. Now you are to twist towards the sun. Well, and also apparently Noah and the prophets were the Einsteins of their time in the sense that anybody who was full of shit would immediately toss out, well, you know who else they said was stupid? Noah.

That's right. Right. Yeah. There's a ton of that, too. But then we have some classic. What the fuck was I talking about? Shit. In verse 69.

OK, so in verse 69, Surah 7, he is telling the story of Noah. He is putting words in Noah's mouth. And some of those words are, well, you guys remember that Noah guy with the ark, right? I'm like that guy. You are that guy. That hasn't happened yet. What the fuck are you talking about? Right. And then we meet God's magical she-camel.

What the fuck was that? That was really weird. She-camel. She-camel. He's got an animal sidekick in this one, apparently. I didn't get that. I had no idea what the fuck was going on here. But apparently the people of Salah strung up, or hamstrung, sorry, God's camel, so he earthquakeed them to death.

Straight up, most sympathetic character in this holy book so far, talking camel. I was like, aw, talking camel. Awesome. And then we get our strongest endorsement of homophobia so far in this retelling of Lot. Apparently gay sex is gross and God hates it. Yeah, and weirdly, maybe it's just my translation, but like in this little story, he uses the phrase, they were puffed up with pride, like eight times to describe eight different versions of non-believers.

It's really creepy. It's like, and they were puffed up with pride. Hey, man, you've said that six times. I talk and you write it down. Except that part. And that. He foretold of the parades. That's what it is.

And by the way, in the Saudi version, gay sex is literally the worst thing that ever happened in the history of the universe. Really? He says this. Lot asks all the people in Sodom, he says, are you guys committing the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed, human or God,

for all of eternity? Pretty much exact words. And they're like, yes, we're having butt sex. Please leave. Now, when I said that at my cousin's gay wedding, everyone got very judgy. So now I can call them all racists.

Yeah, exactly. Go Ben Affleck. And I don't know if this is just my translation or what, but Allah constantly refers to himself in the second person. And unfortunately, I can't help but read it in the voice of the slow-talking turtle from NeverEnding Story.

We don't like it when the boys make the butt love with the boys. That's the only thing that could have possibly made this book worse is if you had that guy reading it to you. Where's that Audible? Come on. Audible.com. Call us.

We're not a atheist. $2,000 on Patreon, guys. We'll make it happen. And then he fumble fucks his way through the Moses story. Only his has a magic convention in the middle of it. Yeah, big overlong explanation of Moses in a snake staff that completely misses the homoerotic overtones. Yeah, and I guess what he's trying to do is cram the whole Pentateuch into this surah so we get a really long retelling of the Exodus, including a part where God turns into a mountain monster and knocks Moses unconscious, I think. My exact quote in my version is, quote, and when God manifested himself to the mountain, it turned to dust and Moses fell into a swoon.

So I just picture him like, my Lord, my cotillion is ruined. Does that spinning call? Oh lord. Hand to forehead, yeah. Ben Carson's lying next to him. And then we finally get

a few J-bombs, and he tried so hard to avoid this. We dropped a couple right here, verse 167 and 168. Muhammad says, remember when God promised to keep sending humiliating torment against them, i.e. the Jews, for the rest of time? Like, remember when we broke them, i.e. the Jews, into 12 teams and ran a tournament, and they all lost the Jews to themselves, the other Jews? Yeah, he had a little moment.

A little moment, but he was pretty good in this one. And then we learned in 172 that apparently God introduced himself to all of Adam and Eve's kids personally just in case we wanted to give him some I never knew you bullshit when he burns us in hell. Because apparently meeting people is passed on genetically god's basically the equivalent of that friend of your parent who's like i knew you when you were this tall you still shit your pants no dude i'm 28 don't hug me you shit your pants now and i just want to commend muhammad for the remarkably scant amount of Jew hate in that one. It was just those two verses, pretty much. Yeah, really, really.

And then there was one kind of hint earlier, but that one was quite meccan. Just a boring C.J. Werleman-ing of the first two books of the Hebrew Bible. But the next one is Medinan. And damn if it doesn't have a promising title, this chapter is called The Spoils of War. And this one gets right to the meat. No magical Allah letters or anything. Just when it comes time to divvy up the shit, God gets all of it, and I speak for God. You guys got a problem with that?

Yeah. Didn't think so. He's basically just like, okay, let's start out. We can all agree that all of this shit really belongs to God. So whatever percentage I take, it's fairly light. All of this shit really belongs to God. So whatever percentage I take, it's fairly light. And also just a reminder, when God's name gets mentioned, good Muslims are supposed to, like, get the vapors like a teenage girl meeting Elvis.

In fact, you should have just came. You should have. If you were reading this, you should have just came. And then he starts trying to justify that shit by saying, well, if you think about it, God didn't give you inside-out face disease. And what is not having inside-out face disease worth to you, really? What's that? Oh, God says you should give me your pudding cup. I mean, I was totally happy to share, but what are you going to do right up there? That's what God says. No, you can't talk to him.

He doesn't want to tell you how many fingers you're holding up. And then in verse seven, God says, remember when I asked you guys if you wanted the Jews to show up with an army and attack you? Or if you wanted me to just give you all their stuff and you guys wished for all the stuff, but it didn't work. You do shit. Don't write't work. You do? Shit. Don't write that down. Skip that part. Leave that part out. And again, and Muhammad just can't stress this enough, it's okay to kill people if they disagree with you about God's shit.

I would hope that would be obvious by now, but just in case, he reminds us for the 39th time in verse 8 here. Well, and if I'm not mistaken, verse 9 reads a lot like, hey guys, remember when I said that God was going to send a thousand angels to help us and he didn't? I know it seems like I'm full of shit, but if you think about it, it did rain a little, which is like angels. It's kind of like... From the head. Why would you put this in your book? This is like me including all the times I had to admit I was exaggerating when I said three inches in my biography. Which, by the way, is called the Eli Bosnick story.

Oh, yes. He's been setting that one up for a while. Also, apparently when you come across non-believers, you should break their necks and fingers. I don't think he meant in that order specifically, but... Right. And I was just picturing this, like, beautiful angel flying up to you,

and then all of a sudden it's Joe Pesci hammering your finger off, just stabbing you in the neck with a pen. And if I can paraphrase verses 15 and 16, quit acting like a pussy. Yeah. That's basically the gist of it. Yeah. The rule actually says, no turning your back on heathens during a battle, except I'm pretty sure someone in the writer's room was like, well, what if I want to do like a spinning roundhouse kick?

There's actually a disclaimer for special moves like hurricane kicks or tactical retreats that might turn your back. It also says, this is so fucked up, it also says, and when you kill a non-believer, remember, it's not that you killed them, that was God killing them through you. So, first of all, that's a terrifying thing to put in a holy book, but also, who gets the XP? Well, assuming none of you fainted during the battle, it's probably distributed through the party, right?

Or like the religion? I don't know. I don't know. I think God gets all of it, if I'm reading this correctly. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, then God gets super duper high level and all the other characters get super low level and you just got to rely on his brakes. I get it. I get it. Yeah, yeah, right, right. That explains a lot about Muslims. You you're gonna have to end up grinding towards the end of the apocalypse well now we're 20 verses in so muhammad has completely lost track

of what the hell he's talking about yeah and just starts telling you to believe this book some more and yeah right yeah and then muhammad accidentally points out that God can't create an atheist who doesn't ignore him. What? Yeah, it basically says, if atheists weren't so deaf, God would have made them here. They're all a bunch of assholes who never listen, so he made them into still atheists. Wait, no, don't write that down either. Damn it, John. You didn't get through that sentence without realizing how full of shit you were.

Right? And during said ramblings, he mentions that if you fear God, he'll grant you the ability to know right from wrong. Like that's some kind of fucking magic power. Seriously, guys, quiz me. Quiz me. Raping people. It's okay. No, man, you do not have that power.

Wait a minute, let me try again. Try again. Best three out of five. Randy rules. Well, when you just got done saying it was okay to break people's fingers for disagreeing with your theology, you have to act like right and wrong are tricky. Well, yeah, I guess so, right? And the word they use is criterion, singular.

Apparently, you get one single heuristic for determining absolute morality in all scenarios oh no the fuck that would be right also in my copy they make it sound like you might get an invisibility ring too in addition to the single criterion for life the universe and everything bonus awesome i yeah i'm thinking about it i'm thinking about it they've almost got me talked into this muslim shit and this seems like a weird atheist tactic. But apparently when Muslim missionaries go out to preach the Koran, all the nonbelievers are constantly saying to them, well, if this is really the truth from God, then rain down stones upon us from the heavens and send us other painful punishment to prove it. What? It's not naked, big-tittied women.

Stones and punishment they prove it. What? It's not naked, big-tittied women. Stones and punishment they ask for. Well, and apparently the counter-argument to that is, well, I'm here preaching, so he isn't going to stone-smite you now. Yeah, that wouldn't make sense. But he can smite you whenever he wants. He smited someone at camp last summer. She was from another town.

You don't know her. Yeah, if you're their god, it's me, Eli. I'm going to turn around, and if Megyn Kelly is all tied up on my couch, I'll convert in the middle of this podcast, and nope, we can keep going. And, of course, in verse 39, we learn that we, as believing Muslims, should keep fighting until everybody is dead or Muslim, or at least pays the I'm not a Muslim tax.

In my book, the translator is trying so hard to make these really brutal verses sound good. So whenever I see a footnote coming, I know I'm in for something fun. Yeah. Yeah. There's something good coming. And by the way, there is no other way to interpret this verse. It says, fight until all the alive people are Muslims. That's what it says, yes.

The Saudi version even says in parentheses, in the entire world. Yeah, right. No regional genocide, that's nothing. Entire world. Trump Facebook pages, you don't need to make stuff up about Muslims throwing bacon at a soldier.

You can just read the Quran. And of course, since he started talking about how much ass he kicked that one time, we have to linger there for a good eight verses or so. You guys remember that time? Yeah, apparently Muhammad scored four touchdowns in one game.

Wonderful. It's like Bill Cosby talking about the glory days. No, I don't. Just don't want to hear. I could have gone pro, you know. No regrets. But you learn. You make compromises. Your mom used to be so thin. So thin. Just like a...

I'm still... I don't want to talk about it. Don't write any of that down. Could have been his catchphrase. And then we turn to Muhammad's favorite subject, other than Jew bashing, how much all the people who disagree with him are going to dislike burning in hell

for eternity. I don't like that. Also, the worst creatures in the sight of God are non-believers. The worst. The worst. The worst in those little, you know, urethra fish. The worst in those murder rapists. Yeah. Non-Muslims? Gross. That's just nasty, girl. Say what you will about murder rape. At least it's an ethos.

The Quran. How many people are picturing me crawling up their urethra right now? I was. At least one. One cannot overstress how very clearly this chapter is all about killing everyone who isn't Muslim.

In verse 60, God promises to reimburse you for the armies and cavalries as long as you use them to kill non-Muslims. It really says that. Right, like verse 65 where it says, Prophet, urge the believers to fight. Footnote. And just so nobody can say,

well, at least this surah doesn't adore slavery, we're reminded in verse 67 that a prophet should never, never keep slaves unless he kicks a ton of ass. If he kicks a ton of ass, it's okay. Quote, it is not right for a prophet to keep captives unless he has battled strenuously

in the land. End quote. There's no unless in that sentence. Yeah, but to just be very clear here, keeping slaves is okay if you won them fair and square. And actually, it turns out you always won them fair and square. Right, yeah. Yeah, and actually, it turns out you always won them fair and square. Right, right.

Because when you enslave someone, they try to stop being slaves, which is deceitful and punishable by slavery. It's the stop resisting rationale. Why do you keep hitting yourself? Yeah, exactly. My question is how much am i allowed to modernize this because like i spent four hours fighting my cousin on facebook this morning so i feel like one of his kids is a slave right i'll talk to him i'll ask him at thanksgiving yeah yeah we'll we'll see if we can find ourselves a mullah or something yeah so when it comes to the spoils of war we spend one sentence on all

the material stuff nine verses on sex slaves and the rest of the chapter trying to remember what we were talking about. Oh, Mohammed. Yeah, I think that might be the most disturbingly horrible part of the book that we've read so far. But the truly terrifying thing here is that I'm not sure. Yeah, right. I don't know. The murder-rape part was pretty bad, too.

The terrifying thing is that every single list of the worst verses in the Quran that I found online ended in Surah 9. So, as bad as that's been, the worst is yet to come, and that's what we call a tease in the business, folks. So we're going to be breaking that one down along with Surahs 10 and 11 on episode 168.

Between now and then, we'll have to get our anti-Semitism from conspiracy theorists or something like that my twitter feed before we lower the landing gear tonight i wanted to let everybody know about a fundraiser that friend of the show adam reeks of the herd mentality podcast is doing for friend of the friend of the show james now i don't have time to go into all the details here but check out episode 99 of the herd mentality if you want to hear james's story anyway other friend of the show and absolute maestro morgan clark helped eli and anna put together a parody version of the song from god's not dead

too for last week's episode of god awful movies and if this just seems like a bunch of unrelated shit bear with me please at the behest of a bunch of gam listeners we put the song parody up on cd baby for a buck with all the proceeds going to the fundraiser for James. See? All ties back together. Anyway, if you haven't heard it, it's hilarious, and in my opinion, it'd be worth a dollar, even if the money wasn't going to a good cause, but it is. We'll have links to buy the song and to hear James' story on the show notes for this episode. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a new episode of the aforementioned Godawful Movies

on Tuesday at 8 a.m. Eastern, or just learn to be more patient. Obviously, I'd never be able to forgive myself if I wrapped the episode without thanking Heath for his harsh words, biting wit, and tender touch. I need to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lusions for always looking on the bright side of dildos. And of course, we need to thank Harlem's finest bigots, bigot pastor David James Manning for providing this week's Farnsworth quote, which pretty much scared off any new listeners this

week, but it was fun nonetheless. But most of all, of course, I need to thank this week's best people, and I'm going to need a deep breath this week. Jacob, Magnus, Kirby, Dylan, Logan, Bart, Larry, Ryan, Damon, Christopher, April, Jan, Elgin, Laura, Lee, Dan, Richard, Douglas, Brandy, Beth, Krista, King, Torm, Kane, Laurel, Sam, Shane, The Skeptic Feminist, Benjamin, Justin, Buell, and Deb. Jacob, Magnus, Kirby, Dylan, Logan, Bart, Larry, Ryan, Damon, and Christopher, whose cocks have enough girth to plug up the plot holes in Batman vs. Superman. April, Jan, Elgin, Laura, Lee, Dan, Richard, Douglas, Brandy, Beth, and Krista, whose mental acuity is so legendary flash drives call them up when they can't remember shit.

And King Torm, Kane, Laurel, Sam, Shane, the Skeptic Feminist, Benjamin, Justin, Buell, and Deb, whose legendary kung fu skills make Jackie Chan look like Jackie Gleason. Together, these sturdy 30 heard the dirty words we slurred absurdly and inferred were worthy Thank you. to an extended edition of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the Donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, but you're not paying unless there's oral sex involved, get in touch with us. We'll see if we can work something out. Or you can help us out

by leaving us a glowing review on iTunes, Stitcher, or your podcast rating vehicle of choice. You can also like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter, but you already knew that. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info

on the contact page at scathingatheist.com. All the music used in this episode was written and performed by yours truly. And yes, I did have my permission. So we scripted this outtake. Yeah, exactly. So we sat down and wrote out a little fuck up.