The Sevan Podcast - #222 - Live Call In Show
Episode Date: December 4, 2021The Sevan Podcast is sponsored by http://www.barbelljobs.comFollow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealsevanpodcast/Episode Videos https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC59b5GwfJN9HY7uhhCW-ACw.../videosSevan's Stuff:https://www.instagram.com/sevanmatossian/?hl=enhttps://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers Support the showPartners:https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATIONhttps://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK!https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Bam.
What I've.
Oh, how does that happen?
What time was that at?
530 a.m.
So you and how far is the gym from your house?
Like five minutes minutes six minutes
oh so what time do you get up uh i still get up between like 4 45 and like 450 i get there about
15 to 20 minutes um before the class starts is there um like i get up and my routine is like
pretty like regular.
I like if I wonder if like I actually step in the exact same spots.
Like I walk over,
I turn on the coffee machine and then I start opening blinds.
And I,
even though it's dark outside,
I like,
I like to,
I mean,
it's pitch black.
Yeah.
I like to open all the blinds.
What do you do?
What are the first things you do?
Oh,
first I go over to,
I turn off my alarm.
That cause I said an alarm for 7am.
I don't really need an alarm for 6am.
I need one.
Yeah.
So the same thing, turn off my alarm.
Although I'm making a switch and I'm no longer going to use my phone as my alarm.
Because usually when my alarm goes off, then my first reaction is like looking at the messages
that I came through while I was asleep or like checking Instagram right away. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I've been trying to, um, or I will switch to a regular alarm
clock. So I don't do that, but yeah, I get up, I go into the bathroom, I brush my teeth, use the
restroom. Um, I'm kind of weird. I lay out all my clothes, uh, this week I didn't do it for the
whole week, but normally I do it for the whole entire week on the night before. Oh really? Yeah. I actually have, doesn't that take a lot of room? No, no.
I just have them stacked in the bottom of my closet and then I pull out
whatever the night before I pull out the stack and it's, um, you know,
everything I'm going to wear.
Is that for practical reasons or is that some OCD shit?
Is that like a pathology?
Like eventually you got to get around to working on that.
Um, I maybe a little bit of both, but I have this list and i was maybe i say maybe i'll make a video
and i'll share it but i have a sunday prep list that i've followed for like the last couple of
months that just says everything from the what i need for the gym for the affiliate for um the
first responders for the air force for this podcast and everything else yeah you clothed prep for the
week yeah i heard it.
I do.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird.
I knew,
I definitely knew I was getting shit for that one,
but,
uh,
what if it,
what if it,
yeah,
it's so,
so many questions there.
So we make this show about fucking maps and math issues.
Most people,
I suspect,
which is unbelievable, will never do inward work
while they spend time on planet earth as a human being seven and a half billion people
man that's a really presumptuous statement on my part. But accurate, I do believe.
Inward work, real inward work can only occur when you are not inside your head.
So you can't be standing in the bowl while you clean it. And most people will never get out of their head and be aware that they're out of their
head.
Yeah, that's true.
It's trippy.
And there's some funny things you could say, some funny correlates or observations or things
that scare people on what it's like to be out of your
head but when you're out of your head um another synonym for that would be when you're present
when you're present you're fully present you could be in your head and fully present too um
i had a dorian at my house yesterday.
Some of you know him as Dorian.
Some of you know him as Fitness Lonnie.
Some of you probably don't know him as Tissero.
And Lonnie was a character who was pretty big in the CrossFit world.
He made satire videos.
And six years ago, he cruised.
He cruised.
He became a monastic monk.
I don't know what that means, monastic.
I think that means you don't masturbate.
Monastic, it just has ick in it.
Wait, really?
Is that true?
No, I mean, I don't think they're supposed to.
But and the weird thing about not being in your head and walking around in the in the world as you see
all you you it's bizarre it's it's kind of like um imagine a world where you're walking around
and everyone has vr glasses on and you don't so everyone seems kind of crazy to you you know what
i mean like they're reacting to things that are in their head and they think that but they don't
know that they're wearing VR glasses.
So when you're out of your head,
you're seeing people around you everywhere react to shit.
That's not real,
but they swear it's real.
So like when,
and I use this example all the time,
it's,
it's the red light means stop and we all react to it,
but we don't think we're crazy because we know that rule.
We know that rule. And so what's happening now in the world is
the crazy people who've been reacting to shit in their head that's made up because they refuse to
do inward work and clean out the bowl they refuse to come out of their head and look inside and
clean out the show or clean out the bowl.
They want to make some of their other delusions real, but they,
but,
but at least the red light,
we know we've all agreed on that red meaning stop is fake,
but they want us to agree on shit.
That's just absolutely has no practical value as real.
And they want us not to agree on it.
Like,
Hey,
we know this is delusional.
They want us to really agree on some shit as being real. And what sucks is that's like building a prison for us.
You don't want to believe anything is real or else then you can't get out of your head
because then you start conflating the thoughts in your head, the reality in your head and
outside. If none of this is making sense to you i get it
it's because you've never come out of your head i'm not sure exactly how you
well how does how does one start the path of self-awareness though i mean if you really
really really just want to fucking do it just i know I know you guys are going to be like, oh, of course, everyone.
Just, you know, warm up a little bit.
Ride that assault bike for a minute, two minutes as slow as you can.
Then go, just set a timer and do 100 fucking burpees as hard as you can.
I mean, to really accept the fact that you're going to die.
Be like, hey, I don't care if my heart explodes.
I'm going to fucking break the fucking six-minute mark on 100 burpees.
No, no.
I'm going to break 545.
No, you know what?
I don't give a shit.
I'm going for four minutes.
I am going to try to do 25.
No, I'm not even going to game at 25 burpees a minute.
Not this time.
I am not going to stop.
There's nothing that can make me stop.
And somewhere in there, you might come out of your head because um being outside of your head the first time could take something where you prioritize your life
being alive over everything else so let's say say you're married and you saw some dude banging
your wife, but all of a sudden on the other side, a tractor was coming that was about to run you
over. All of a sudden you wouldn't care that your wife was getting banged. All your attention would
go to like, shit, I'm not even going to get a chance to be upset that my wife's being banged
because I got to get away out of the way of this tractor. It's like that. This thing has to take
complete priority over everything else. That's why the offended class can never be enlightened
yes people have told me i look like steven spielberg
oh you got a good one i could just get extra drug addicts hey dude i've had people come up to
to steve was pretty cool man he was awesome yes the shit that sucks is that you don't really look like a –
God, John Young, I hope you're not listening.
You don't really look like a – what's it called?
Second rate, two bit, hand me down.
What's the word?
Low budget.
You don't really look like a low budget Steve-O,
but John Young really does look like a low budget Steve-O, but
John Young really does look like a low budget
Dan Bailey.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. What's going on?
How come...
Oh, the Bluetooth isn't hooked up.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Damn it. Are you going past the serious
format with these calls, or are we doing a...
I don't know. Would you like to pair your smartphone tablet with your computer?
Yes.
Yes.
Logan, don't interrupt.
The caller's not allowed to answer those questions.
Tap Rodecaster Pro settings in your Bluetooth.
Your Rodecaster Pro is now discoverable.
Oh, shit.
Sorry, Mars.
Give me one second.
Okay.
I hope I didn't just hang up on him.
No, I think it's still here.
Broadcaster pro. I wonder how the phone got disconnected. Here we go.
Hey, what's up Mars?
There we are.
Hey Mars, I just, I got a question for you. I want to beat you to it.
Do you mind?
Yeah, go for it. How did the job search go on barbelljobs.com? Are y'all, y'all hooked up?
Well, that's why I'm calling. I'm actually nine minutes late. I will, you know,
I'll call him because you responded to my application.
I sent you with your job listing on barbelljobs.com. Um, is it,
is it now that I follow you on Instagram,
is it harder to get work done through your jobs that you got at barbelljobs.com
because you're just always dealing with that perma-chub you got that I follow you?
Well, no, no, no.
The problem is, now that you follow me, everybody blacklists me,
and I'm not allowed to apply anywhere.
So I just figured I'd go straight to the source.
Hey, so while I worked at CrossFit Inc.,
one of my favorite jokes that my racist cohort would like to say to me was that, hey, do you get stopped?
Tons of TSA jokes.
Like, no one wanted to fly with me.
It was during the Bin Laden years.
Like, you know, dude, go stand over there.
Dude, go through customs without me.
And it was great.
And I was deeply, deeply offended.
Deeply. Oh, I believe it. Yeah, you seem like the kind that gets offended i can look i can i can look like bin laden or i can look like the boy next door so so i got many
i got skills to pay the bills just like you do at barbell jobs because you work at bar you work
at barbelljobs.com you got a job at barbelljobs.com that You got a job at barbelljobs.com. That's it.
Well, if I got a job there, does that mean I work there?
Or did I find a job there through... I'm dropping this.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
You're a good dude.
I'm a good dude.
I'm sorry.
I'm 11 minutes late for the interview.
You need a third host for Siobhan and Josh and Unnamed?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Please send your resume to gofuckyourself at gmail.com.
Holy shit, wow.
You got that?
Yes.
I thought that one was taken.
No, no, no.
Please send it there.
Keep it short.
You know, we're getting thousands of applications to be the third wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I listened to a lot of that podcast, and Matt was really a third wheel on that one.
It's not like he hijacked it or anything.
Wait, which one?
I'm starting drama.
We don't need drama.
Yeah, no. Too early for drama. Oh don't need drama. Yeah, no.
Too early for drama.
I'm starting drama.
Oh, oh, that, Matt.
Fraser, Fraser.
Yeah, why did Fraser, why, Mars, this is it.
This is all you get, and then I'm hanging up on you.
Why do you think Matt isn't doing the show anymore, Josh and I?
Oh.
Mr. Matt Fraser, the five-time fittest man in the world nike sponsor owner of podium
holy shit you want me to respond or you just want to talk if you start talking i'm going to talk so
go ahead uh good uh no i thought he's busy with the uh buttery homoerotic boys yes yes you know
um uh i i'm gonna make a shit sandwich here it doesn't have to be a shit
sandwich there are few people in the world that i've ever met that work harder than heber and
mars um but i feel like the buttery bros are the peewee herm it's kind of like peewee's playhouse
and i was never a fan of the show i was impressed by um by the dude i thought it was pretty amazing but it's a trip i sometimes i get kind of like uh
like i can't watch it because i start to get like embarrassed like the way i would get embarrassed
for pb herman it was it's weird i mean i know it's on me i know it's on me i gotta i'll be honest
honestly it went from being uh kind of just silly silly to straight up feels homoerotic.
Like, like meaning you get turned on, like you're like, wow.
Like, I mean, Heber has gotten significantly more attractive as the years have gone on.
Yeah.
He's even yoked these days.
Yeah.
Is that what you mean by that?
Or do you mean like you're not attracted to it, but your brother, your gay brother is?
Brother-in-law. Brother-in-law.
Brother-in-law, sorry.
No, but.
Hey, you are safe here, Mars.
No one knows your name or knows who you are.
So just tell us, like, I mean, are you.
Right, right.
Hey, who's more attractive, Heber or Marsden?
Let's go there.
Well, I mean, I got to go with my namesake.
The one I was named after.
It's Marsden, 100%.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know, maybe I probably would have said that two years ago,
but I think Heber has.
Well, I know you have a thing for Mormons.
I do.
I do.
Greg got me into that. Greg made me prejudiced against Mormons. He thinks that in general, they're really good people. And so I've sort of picked up that prejudice.
Yeah, that's a terrible prejudice to have. Hey, that makes me really uncomfortable right there. Do you see how, can you pull out of that photo just a little bit? Do you see how – this is the kind of shit that happens when you're at barbilljobs.com.
See how high they are up over the fence?
Like they have more body mass over the top of the bar than below it.
Like I don't like that.
I don't like that.
Like if those were my kids, I would yell at them.
Don't do that.
Don't like that. Like if those were my kids, I would yell at them. Don't do that. Don't do that.
Like, cause, cause you know, gravity and shit.
And what is that?
The way a pendulum swings?
There's some physics there.
Come down Heber.
At least Mars has his weight on his feet.
Heber could easily just roll.
Okay.
Well, thanks for calling Mars.
No, no.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I got one more thing.
You're not allowed to hang up on me because you follow me.
Okay.
I have an idea because you follow me. Okay. Uh, uh,
I have an idea for you for content and I think it's a fantastic,
fabulous idea.
Please be nudity.
Please be nudity.
Please be your wife's nudity.
Oh man.
Come on.
No.
Ah,
so the Von Matosian audio commentary of terrible movies oh like that mystery science mystery
theater mystery hey you i'm mars i'm so uh like a few months ago i got this notice that said that
this podcast was in the top 1.5 percent in the world and i got really really excited i was like
holy shit we're doing it and then i found out there I found out there's 1.5% in the world.
This isn't the top one. And then I, and then I quickly realized that there are 2.7 million
podcasts, which I was like, oh, okay. And then you have to imagine of those 2.7 million podcasts,
probably 2.5 million are inactive. Right. So, so now there's, of course mine's more popular than all of those,
but today I got a notice or I got a notice or some, something led me to a site. Um, and, and I,
I don't know if it's original, original or not, but it said that the seven podcast was in the top
one, uh, 1% now of all podcasts in the world. And I figured out if there's 2.7 million podcasts,
that means it's in the top 2,700 podcasts in the world. And if you if there's 2.7 million podcasts that means it's in the top 2700 podcasts in the world and if you look at it and then i typed in seven podcast rankings and
it's in the top 100 or 200 in a bunch of different categories all over the world
united states uk australia where people speak english and and it was kind of exciting i mean
it was like i was like holy shit i mean it doesn't really matter until i'm rich or like able to
actually pay a bill with it but But but it's still cool.
Like it made it so I wanted to do the show this morning a little more.
Well, and so I think your mystery science theater idea is a distraction and it's just a test to pull me away from this fucking great work I'm doing here.
The journey inward.
Journey inward.
Is that what your wife called it?
Yes.
Honey, it's eight okay well the journey inward starts at 805 i was like yes ma'am i just get a big wad of spit going and
well that's another spiel i had like the word okay i first went to a crossfit gym and they
asked me did you do the WOD?
And I thought it was a sexual term, and I was really confused.
But were you offended?
Huh?
But were you offended?
No, I was a little disappointed when I found out it wasn't a sexual term.
I understand.
The snatch, the WOD.
Mars, can you see your computer?
No, I'm talking to you on the phone because I have your number saved
oh well then you're going to hate this
next segment I'm going to do
I want to show you what being trapped in your head
pretend I'm blind
just pretend I'm blind
and talk to you about it
how inclusive are you if you're inclusive
you can do that
the journey racist stuff.
The journey N-word racist stuff.
I don't know what that means.
But don't use the N-word.
Just type out what you want to say.
Did you guys ever see that stand-up routine that – who's the guy who jerked off in his dressing room?
He asked the girls if he could masturbate, and they said yes or something, and he got in trouble for it.
He has red hair.
Red glasses? Shit. masturbate and you got and they said yes or or something and he got in trouble for it he has red hair rick larson dude i'm going in in in at 1 p.m today i'm jumping on a private jet with my family yes private well the pilot will be on there and i'm flying out to sea greg
um i want you guys to look at the file it will be out there it's not completely
private it's not private there's no file um i want you to see this uh this photo that i have up here
there it is louis ck that's who you're looking for yeah louis ck yeah it's a it's a great thing
you say the n word and then the rest of us have to say nigga in our head and it's like why don't
you just say the word why do i have to say it why do i have to say it in my head but you got a way around it how about fuck off how about don't
don't even bring up the topic unless you can say the word because you's a bitch okay so um look at
this picture right here this and this is going to be an allegory for racism or being trapped in your
head or being inward or making things real that aren't real this is a christmas card that someone
sent me that arrived yesterday i I crossed out the family name.
And I want to say thank you very much
for sending me the Christmas card.
I used to think they were stupid,
but now I'm old and I think it's kind of cool.
And on the back of this card
is a picture of the dude's family
and like a write-up of like,
this kid's got straight A's and shit.
But look at this picture.
And I saw a snowman with a girl
like excited to see a snowman.
But someone who handed me
that saw the card at my house yesterday was like, holy can you believe this card and i'm like what and they're
like you don't see it you don't see it and then right away i started seeing like a glory hole
and i saw a penis and a girl with her mouth open and i'm like geez wow and all they had to say was
do you see it do you see it do you see it that That's that's how shit like this could get banned because someone in their own head sees that someone else is is seeing something that's like either there or not there.
But they're trapped in their head, but they want us to insist that we see it.
They want this this person wanted to insist that this is what something was going on.
Well, this person is just a funny person and likes to joke around.
So whatever.
And I love this person to death.
But this person, there's people who would insist that this can't be.
And then the person who made this card might get canceled, et cetera, et cetera.
That's that's nine.
I know.
I know most of my listeners know I'm preaching to the choir, but that's ninety nine percent of what's going on here in the world.
I know most of my listeners know I'm preaching to the choir, but that's 99% of what's going on here in the world. We're dealing with people who are just fucking making up complete horseshit and they want us because that's what they see.
Because they're demented or they're creative or they're racist or they're sexist or whatever they got going on.
They want to project that onto us instead of taking responsibility for it.
It's quite obvious what's going on here.
This is promoting pen of pedophilia.
No,
it's a fucking Christmas card,
but that was a really good radio point.
Thank you.
Okay.
Mars.
Thanks for calling.
Okay.
Okay.
Bye.
That hurt.
I didn't like that.
I didn't like hanging up on him.
Oh,
Mars is a good deed,
but I have to always calls in plugs,
barbell jobs.com.
I know.
Hey,
did you notice at the bottom?
He's no Dylan Val.
He's no Dylan Val.
No,
no,
no,
no,
no Dylan Val.
That's a,
that is a,
that is a strong supporter and we love Dylan Val,
but did you notice at the bottom of the card that it said it was made by a,
the Epstein group? No, it did say that oh shit like he had his own company of hallmark cards
i'm just surprised you haven't been hot on the uh the maxwell case at all
uh maybe i will maybe uh uh will imagine if a company brought on mars and heber to shoot a video and
step on to direct the story you know what's interesting is that i had worked at crossfitting
for a while and um heber was brought on and i think the very time first time we like shot together
was at an affiliate gathering in montana and he it was so much more assertive and and cocksure
of himself than i was like he really it was me and jordan gravat
and this kid heber heber and uh and he kind of just took control i mean the guy fucking really
knows what he wants to do um yeah i was like wow okay go and it's kind of weird it was like it was
like a white belt telling the blue belts and the purple belts where to stand in the dojo and and i didn't stop it like i wasn't like hey dude shut the fuck
up you stand there i was like all right yeah tell me what to do i'll be a good soldier i mean he he
the dudes the dudes assertive as a mofo i i he knows what he wants he probably he he probably
knew he was a director before he was a director i made 10
movies and i still don't think of myself as a director so yeah what can i say um i have a list
of shit to talk about i showed the picture and i explained why like if you sexualize that it's in
your head sub on that podcast with al germain was great i don't even follow ufc but you bring out
some honest intelligent conversation out of those fighters who appear just mindless on other platforms.
Yeah, that – Melissa, that dude was actually – I was impressed with that dude.
I never know what to expect.
I was nervous as shit.
But I was – man, articulate is a mofo.
Can you – it sucks that he says he can't – he doesn't have stories or he can't remember his childhood.
Can you imagine having 21 siblings he it was also cool because he had the whole professional setup
he had a good mic like he was like he was like ready to rock oh shut up you sound like a producer
well we just had such a mixed bag of things i mean we've had people in their car and traffic
yeah so it was cool to really see him like Like he takes everything serious. Like he, he,
he's one of those high achievers, you know, like he's not going to half ass in the ring. He's not
going to half ass on a podcast with you. I love having people, right. I love having people on
like that who, wow, that's a good point. Wow. That's a really, really good point.
And I've had other fighters who show up late. They're on their iPhone. They have a shitty connection and they're stoned out of their mind. He downloaded, he downloaded a special app
so that he could hook his computer, his phone and his mic all together. He was telling me about it
after the show. Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, the way he articulates how he doesn't really see
things as like obstacles. He just sees that a problem that needs to be broken down and
troubleshot. You know, he's like, this isn't a failure.
This isn't a roadblock.
This is just something
we got to break into a small piece
and start attacking.
Really cool.
I'm not short.
I just need platform shoes.
I'm not short.
My giant penis
just makes me look short.
I just have to make sure
no one sees it.
I'm going to let you know,
you take a picture
of you boarding that private jet, you're going like six foot five baby yeah yeah oh don't think
there won't be don't think there will be um do you do you want to look at this um do you want
to hear a story about lebron right now or do you want to um see this crazy this i've had this crazy
butt just the butt of the the butt of all butts i kind of want to go
with the butt of all butts okay and then and then we'll do the lauren i sent you this uh link to
this girl's instagram account yes something is going on with this girl this is the girl that
was accused of doing steroids i i i'm not a big fan of like genetic testing or not i sure as fuck i'd be willing to
to bet my new iphone she is not on any drugs this is like a genetic thing this is reminds me of like
when people would accuse dan bailey of doing steroids and uh you look at his pictures from
high school and you're like no there's something just going on um so so click on that one right
there where she's squatting i already know know where we're going with this. I saw that photo. I know where you're going with this.
So can you blow this up a little bit?
This – how – like I usually just go through – there's so many crazy bodies on Instagram.
I don't stop and look.
Like it's just like I just don't think it's healthy for me.
But how does – like if you worked out with you, excuse me, can I touch you?
Like, how do you not want to like, not look at that hamstring?
That's a hamstring in the back, right?
I knew exactly.
That's what, as soon as I saw it, we didn't talk about this before.
And I scrolled down and I saw that second picture.
I was like, he's going to talk about that hamstring definition and, and how it's separated
from, but, and this girl's not little this isn't like i don't
think she's underfed or anything i've never seen can we find a better you can see those cables like
on i used to have a great dane and now i have a um a borble you can see those kind of cables and
shit like on a dog too like where's you know what i mean like cable it's like or like you can see it on a human being like where they're yeah but look at her butt
and look at her cat it's just such a remarkable insane physique it is so nuts
we should have we got to have her on i want to have her boyfriend on her girlfriend who touches
that nobody she doesn't want to that i bet you i bet you not enough time is spent touching her
but that or like whoever does her massage it that that body like imagine the difference between
cleaning a Lamborghini,
like how you would,
no one would have to tell you,
right?
If you,
if some,
if someone pulled up and was like,
Hey,
here's a hundred bucks,
Matt,
will you wash my Lamborghini?
You'd be like,
sure.
And you would wash it like you knit, like way better than you ever washed your own car.
Right?
That's right.
Like,
you'd be like,
okay,
I better not use that rag.
I better go online and really find out what the right rag is to use on paint. mean you would do all sorts of great i mean this is a fucking lamborghini this is
nuts and the dude next to her look at the dude back there he's got an amazing body lats popping
out but you don't even look at him go away anyway what's her name vicky vicky caruso i think so let
me get back up to the top. Yeah, Caruso.
Yeah, that's – it's – how many followers does that get you being like special like that? Only 223,000.
Ten times as much as the Savon Rinsta account.
Yeah.
And only 20 more thousand than me.
Hey, she sounds – Vicky Caruso, she sounds like she should be – do you remember the show with Laverne and caruso she sounds like she should be do you
remember the show with laverne and shirley she sounds like she sounds like she should be like
their neighbor laverne or she should be in the movie greece vicky throwback there was a caruso
in greece right i can't i don't know i mean i've watched it but not enough to remember
wish brian was here for this he'd be squirming what does she weigh i don't know i don't know
i don't know anything don't know I don't
know anything about her except that she was on Dave's Instagram being accused of steroids and
then and then so I started following her because her body's insane and then I today I just saw
that picture of her butt like getting into that spa and I was like this this is absolutely nuts
but you have to kind I keep forgetting how forgetting how it's that separation of all that shit that goes on around your ass that's just – my kids just got a – like this plastic that is strong.
Those are like 45s and stuff.
Oh, yeah, that's 225.
I mean, just incredible, right?
I've never done that.
I've never done that, and I never will and I never will do that I passed that window damn it
okay on to LeBron James and not enough of this you guys are disgusting voyeurs
uh the other day I told a story about how LeBron James was being a baby and you know he should
have used his platform to love those people and embrace those people and someone sent me a dm that
said hey dude they were threatening to kill his kids. Or they were saying stuff like, Hey,
we wish your kid, your son would die. And they were naming his son by name.
And that's really not cool. And you, and you misrepresented the story. And you know what I
say to that person? You're absolutely fucking right. If those P and I, and I, and I researched
it and I looked it up and, and, and the, there are people in the crowd there who are saying those people were saying life-threatening things or stuff to LeBron like, hey, we hope your son Brady or Brandy or whatever son's name is – excuse me – dies.
Like I want to be like, no, no, no.
I really, really want to get on my high horse and be like, no, no, no.
That's even more reason.
The harder the hurdle, that's even more reason to embrace them and turn their hearts.
But dude, I don't know, man. I don't know. I take back everything I said about LeBron in that story.
If I can, I feel horrible because I'm not going to go back and erase the podcast. And there's
some of you who listen to that one who aren't listening to this one but man if if if if i was somewhere
and you threatened my kid i would either leave immediately or shit would go horribly bad for you
right away horribly or horribly bad like the next time you bent down to tie your shoes you you that
would be it i would behead you so oh we're back to getting stopped at customs for looking like bin
laden um uh yeah you can't do that you cannot i've told the story about the elephant before in africa
did i tell that story before suza elephant sees that a lady surprises a mama and a mama elephant
and the baby and the mama elephant just picks the lady up with the trunk
beats her to a pulp on the ground she's clearly dead but then takes the 50 or 60 trees in the
immediate area and buries the lady and i was walking in the in like it was uh somewhere in
the middle of kenya somewhere and i was walking with these kids and i'm like what's that pile of
trees right there in the middle of the path and they told me the story they go there's a dead
woman under there i go go, what happened?
And they go, she surprised a mama elephant and a baby.
The elephant first beat her to death with its trunk, slammed her on the ground, and then put 20, 50, 100 trees in the area, drugged them over, and buried her.
Not for some religious ceremony, but so that that bitch couldn't get out.
But she was already dead, but that's how serious it is to parents if you're a threat to their baby.
You get smooshed. Is that true? Is true lebron lebron got the diva yep it also looks like he got fined fifteen thousand dollars for um obscene gestures and
explicitives while the media was on him when he ejected those people
oh that's that's interesting hey man i you can't i it's like that dude who
molested all those girls um on the usa gymnastics team like if one of the parents like shoots him
in the courtroom like i can't i know i know it's wrong i know i know i know i should but i just
can't i can't. I can't.
Like, you should mess with people's kids.
Tom King, good morning, Sevan.
If vaccines are to protect the people,
why aren't USA using the Russian or Chinese vaccine and vice versa?
What does each state know about the other that won't tell?
You can try to get me kicked off of YouTube, Tom.
20 burpees.
It's wild in the scheme of professional sports how close random strangers can get to these athletes in basketball yeah i like it though i love it the the best event in
crossfit history ever was the 2009 games when they ran up the hill i mean yeah how about uh the tour
the tour de france and like you can you can get you can put your sign out and knock down the whole peloton just you've seen that video right where
the lady has this cardboard sign oh yeah and just takes out everybody dude they were gonna arrest
her it's like no no jackass that's part of the game that's part of the game what wasn't she
didn't she like run and hide for a while too weren't they like unable to find her and stuff
uh yes yes and i think she ends up getting off i
think she ends up getting off that's crazy okay i talked about lebron uh yeah i uh oh there's a
huge i talked about how i'm in the one percent sorry we're in the one percent me and you devesh
maharaja maharaj maha maharaj we're in the top one percent Craig White. LeBron is double jabbed, though. Oh, that's good.
We talked about doing inward work. Oh, man. For those of you who don't know who Tissero is,
you should Google Fitness Lonnie. Those were the videos he used to make. I had so much fun last
night. He showed up in my house. He spent the last year in Brazil. This is a guy who spends
weeks not talking to someone, spends weeks not making eye contact with someone, just chilling in the
monastery. And
yesterday he was here and it was
nuts. The conversation was
so beautiful and fun.
My name is
Alyssa.
Is that me?
You're fired. Here, watch this.
Let me see if it's him.
All I have to do is I wonder if I mute you were fired. Here, watch this. Let me see if it's him. All I have to do is – I wonder if I mute you if it just goes away.
How's that?
So one of the things that Cicero does is he doesn't – he's not allowed to eat unless someone gives him food.
That's the life of the monastic monk, taking call they call it alms let me look up the
definition of alms for you real quick sorry for us alms uh definition of alms um something
given freely to relieve the poor so he only takes alms so if he's hungry and no one feeds him he
doesn't get fed so he'll walk around just like with a bowl what if he's hungry and no one feeds him, he doesn't get fed. So he'll walk around just like with a bowl.
What if he's like not around other people or something?
Yeah, like the other day he said he hadn't been fed in 48 hours.
He doesn't – he's been doing this for six years.
He doesn't eat afternoon.
What does he do for work?
I gave him my favorite socks.
I probably just used up all the good karma I'm going to get from that.
I have these favorite socks that Greg Glassman bought me from Filson.
They're the most insane wool socks ever.
And for some reason yesterday, I was compelled to give them to him.
They're so nice.
But they're gone.
They're not his socks.
What does he do for money, like an income?
No, he doesn't.
He's a monk.
He just – monk shit.
He just sits in a hammock or under a
tree all day how does he like run anywhere or anything he's just he's just holding down he's
he's holding down the fort of of creating space that's it there's nothing to i guess you know
rich motherfuckers who want to go hang out at the monastery donate money and food comes or like
people you know like and dude and when you do that so that was one of the things i realized
when i was homeless like if you put yourself in a state where you really start like getting rid of
everything you own you will start having real real minute by minute realizations that the
universe is conspiring to help you and take care of you.
It's fascinating.
I mean, if you want to see the magic.
But you got to kind of go to the, you can't be on the 50th, you can't be worried about made up shit to witness that.
You have to get out of your head.
99% of you will never ever get out of your head. You have to be out of your head. 99% of you will never ever get out of your head.
You have to be out of your head to see all the magic happening around.
Like all the connections.
I call it magic.
I just say that to try to entice you.
It's not magic.
It's all just a bunch of.
Think of it more of just a bunch of like cogs and wheels and gears that are inside a clock.
If you want to see how they're all turning and connecting to other shit.
You got to get out of your head.
And then when you get out of your head and you start being aware – and another way to get out of your head is just start getting rid of everything you own.
Every object you have in your life that you're attached to that you believe you own – you guys realize there is no such thing as ownership, right? That's a delusion.
And on top of that delusion, there's another delusion called stealing.
These are just made up.
I mean you have to see that.
That's like one of the most basic things you see when you're not in your head it's just made up those are ideas
it's okay to have those ideas it's okay if we function as a society on them but if you believe
them like your car's gone and now you're pissed and like you're really pissed you're acting out
the anger now you believe your two fucking levels of denial into your head outside of the real world.
One of ownership and now one of stealing.
There's a YouTube comment I read today that I really liked.
Find it for you.
Speaking of real.
Let's see.
What do you think it is?
Why do you think more people – do you think more people do you think it's
like a you're born with it like it's just something like a skill that you have internally
like self-awareness or do you think it's like a more of a product of your environment or
is anybody capable of it at any time the third one i was a complete fucking doorknob if someone
would have said to me there's no such thing as ownership or stealing, I would have never been able to grasp it because I didn't have an inward world and an outward world.
I only had – I only had – I thought everything in my head was real.
It's so hard to imagine.
It's so hard to break out of your delusion.
One of my biggest mistakes now is still to this day is
is i think everyone sees the exact same thing i it's so hard to even imagine once you are out of
your head that wow everyone's in their head and seeing everything differently putting their twist
on it except for the people who are outside they all see everything the same but i think that's why
all three of us that's why a lot of the – All three of us. That's why a lot of the ancient cultures had usually some sort of psychedelic ritual attached to it.
I guess not all would that be too much of a blanket statement, but most.
Do you think that helped them achieve that?
Yes. Yes.
Okay, listen. Listen to this. God, I just love this.
Okay, listen to this. God, I just love this. I don't know. This isn't on YouTube. This is Insta, and it was crazytownbananapants.
I got four words to describe my Instagramming.
It was crazytownbananapants.
Not just it was crazy, not it was crazytown, not it was crazytownbanana.
It was crazytownbananapants.
But this interview was awesome, and his questions are exactly what I'm curious about.
pants. But this interview was awesome. And his questions are exactly what I'm curious about.
I wonder if that's a protective mechanism for themselves. Like,
they're worried within their own social group that if somebody saw that they liked your stuff,
they would assume that that means they agree with all your viewpoints. And then therefore, they would also be labeled crazy town banana pants. So by putting that at first, they're projecting their insecurity,
but then they're also showing their real side,
which is that they enjoyed the podcast because you deliver most what most
people can't.
Ooh, that was a mouthful. Yeah. And you're full. Sorry. No, thank you.
Just thinking about it. You know, two people,
two people who are trapped in their head this is how
the conversation goes i say to you um uh i wonder what happens when you die and then you're like
well according to christian blah blah blah or the buddhist literature says and those are just people
who are trapped in their head and people who are actually pursuing the truth and i don't say that
in a derogatory way it's not it's it just is what it is um and then and then people who are actually pursuing the truth and i don't say that in a derogatory way it's not it's it just
is what it is um and then and then people who are pursuing the truth would say um who is you
and what is die what is death excuse me hey i'm doing the podcast right now
yeah it's a live call-in show so it doesn't matter i can do like i can take calls or just Excuse me. Hey, I'm doing the podcast right now.
Yeah.
It's a live call-in show, so it doesn't matter.
I can take calls or just do whatever I want.
Yeah, but I mean, you're not on it.
I just picked up my phone and answered.
I mean, they can hear me, but they don't know.
No one can hear you.
Just Matt Souza.
Okay, thanks. Bye.
And that's why.
It's so funny too because there's comments on YouTube who will be like,
I think it's completely rude that you were texting Sarah Sigmund's daughter while Rob Orlando was on the show.
Rude? I was fucking showing off to fucking Rob.
That probably made his dick hard.
The fact that he's on a podcast with his 30,000 followers that Sarah Sigmund's daughter is going to be on.
It has 1.8 million followers.
You said it was rude?
That's because you're trapped in your head and you interpreted it your own way.
That's the theme of this show, just interpreting shit in your head.
Rob was actually flattered by the fact that I was texting Sarah Sigmund's daughter because it made him feel like me and him were really good friends because i was comfortable enough to text
in front of him i mean like spin it however you want dude and i get what you're saying i'm not
stupid there's like like there there's you know your grandma's over it's probably good to put
your phone down i get it but dude chill your interview with j Jared Graybiel and Raw are really good examples of those interviews.
Really cool perspectives equally displayed.
Thank you.
You know what's interesting?
When we had Greg Amundsen on, about five minutes before the podcast happens, I see him and Matt are having a text conversation.
podcast happens, I see him and Matt are having a text conversation and Greg basically says, Hey,
I'm really into Jesus and the light and, um, and what I'm doing in the next chapter of my life.
I'm not ready to talk about some law enforcement stuff. And so, uh, I'm probably not the right guy for this podcast. And so I don't remember how I started it, but I basically got on the air like
30 seconds before he did. If you ever see a booger hanging out of my nose how I started it, but I basically got on the air like 30 seconds before he did.
If you ever see a booger hanging out of my nose while I'm talking, would you tell me?
Absolutely.
Thank you.
And right as he came on and I'm like, and therefore, and it just went seamless into it, this show will be about Jesus in the light.
Or I said something like that.
And we talked about Jesus in the light for an hour.
And it was awesome. It was awesome. I'm open. I'm open to Jesus in the light.
7 billion versions of reality. That's how many genders there are. You guys know that, right?
That's why that's pointless. That's why it's's why but i mean there's seven billion penises too but they're all they all categorize into the penis and you can we can
all hold one and i mean i mean we can all hold one with our right hand and our left hand logan
aldridge can't hold one with his right hand and his left hand he can only hold it with one hand
but you get what i'm saying you know what what I'm saying? Got to work Logan into more shows, making fun of the one-armed guy.
Let's see.
I want to promote the hell out of Aljo podcast.
This show needs to be huge.
Why?
Are you a UFC fan, Tom?
Is that why you say that?
Or, oh, shit, I've never looked at Tom.
Tom looks, wow, that picture, he looks like the dude from The Hobbit.
What's the dude's name, the star from The Hobbit?
I have no idea.
He's like a buff version of that.
He can still deadlift more than all of us though.
Who?
Any chance?
Yes, Greg's coming on the show.
Yes, Greg's coming on the show.
It's gotta be after January 1st.
I'm gonna go hang out with him for eight days.
I'm going at one o'clock today. Do you guys know who we're having on the show tomorrow tomorrow we're having
on the show in the morning 7 a.m pacific standard time we're having tyson bagent on he's this yes
elijah wood we're have tom looks like elijah wood in that picture a little bit um but i bet you he
doesn't actually look like elijah wood at all it's just the way that picture is um it's maybe
it's the skin texture so so tyson yeah there he is yeah you see it oh thank you you're good suza
it's the hobbit one too it's the one on the far right that he looks like
so tyson bajan is my is the friend is is the son of my friend travis bajan travisajan is the son of my friend Travis Bajan.
Travis Bajan is the world's greatest left-handed arm wrestler who ever lived.
He's an amazing dude.
He's in the movie Pooling John I made.
We had a – he worked for CrossFit for a while.
He's a really, really, really special human being, charismatic beyond – yeah, he's dope.
Anyway, the whole time I've known him him he's been right he has four kids
four kids and and two of his boys he's his oldest boys since since i've known them as little kids
all he's done is played football with them football football football coach their football
make them run routes when it's snowing outside make them do drills inside the house i mean it's
been nothing but football and now his son tyson bagent is like i don't know we're gonna find out
tomorrow but i think he's like the greatest Division II college quarterback that's ever played the game, averaging more than 355 yards a game.
I'll show you.
Last week in the playoffs, he threw a touchdown pass.
They were down by four with 20 seconds left.
And he marched the ball 72 yards down the field.
And with 10 seconds left or one second left, he threw a 21 pass into the end zone i mean it's nuts and uh he's i think he's going to win
what's it's called the harlan trophy which is equivalent to the heisman for division two anyway
i haven't talked to the kid since he's a little kid and i'm so pumped to talk to him but i'm just
going to ask him what kind of habits uh yeah there he is what kind of habit oh no you two people can't call at the same
time oh this one one of the calls is from connecticut that might be rob orlando i'm hanging
up on that come over here and yell at me for okay tony tony tony tony what's up what's up, man? How are you? Good. I got a couple questions for you, actually.
Okay.
First one is, do you know Sam Dancer, and would you ever have him on the cast?
I do. He has been.
Oh.
And I would again. I was surprised how it was a crazy popular podcast.
I can't answer this, Connecticut. I'm talking with Tony, Tony, Tony.
popular podcast. I can't answer this, Connecticut. I'm talking with Tony, Tony, Tony.
Yeah. He's, I just thought you guys would love talking about the current world and vaccinations and just, he's really living a clean life. And I love that example he's setting. So
I liked it. Um, he, I like just how he dresses. Just, I just dig the,
for sure. I think our politicians should have to do that.
And I know it says Seval Matosian, king of content and comedian, but I'm actually 100% being serious.
I think our politicians should –
Have to expose their body more?
I just think that either you should just have to wear a robe always, just like a brown brown robe or you should always just have to be in a banana hammock and i think i believe that i would be impressed if the
president slept on the lawn of the white house in a tent every single night and what i what i mean
by that is i truly mean this this this whole all the fakeness has to go when you just want a motherfucker that's real, like just stripped down and real.
I don't even know if they're real human beings, I think.
Oh, you mean like someone told me that some dad at the skate park told me the other day that, I think this is QAnon stuff, but he told me the president, Joe Biden, was dead
and that's really James Wood playing him as an actor
in three months.
You mean like that? It's not real like that?
I would be more
with the theory
that there's multiple
Joe Bidens and they're all
robots or MPGs in some way.
But do you really think that?
I mean, I think that we don't get technology until it's been out for a really long time so i think that they're they
can clone people yes and they're just not letting us know about it um i yeah that's interesting
uh i think the chinese are fucking around with that. I think I had a quote on it and she talked about it.
Yeah, and I think they're experimenting it with people too.
And I think that the people they're going to start with are people that have the most influence.
Like the biggest athletes, Ron James, people like that.
Wow.
So they can have them in multiple places.
Because here's the thing, Sivan.
Can I cuss on here uh okay fine why why the fuck does lebron came to do sprite commercials when he
you know he's not drinking sprite oh but dude come on dude four to five doctors recommend camel
lights i mean that's just no one knows dude you're a fucking weirdo. You're fucking insane. You're great. Listen, listen to me, Tony,
you ready? You pay attention. Tony, you are crazy town banana pants to me because,
because you think that not eating added sugar and not eating refined carbohydrates is the,
is the route to stopping all chronic disease.
I'm going to say this one more fucking time.
Listen to me.
You're crazy town banana pants, Tony.
I know.
They want us to be sick, Devon.
They want us to be sick.
And so I don't think there's lizard people here.
I don't think they're cloning.
I think it's just TARDED, which is short for retarded.
What does retarded mean? they're what does retarded mean let's look
at retarded i'm pretty sure they're brain damaged they're so fucking brain damaged have you seen the
latest poster child for who they're saying why kids should be vaccinated and what in the war on
the unvaccinated have you seen this their poster child for this who is it oh you can't do that
connecticut be cool man can't you just wait till tony hangs up
and then call so it looks like the show's crazy popular just like right after um well let me type
in retarded oh thank you um very foolish or stupid yeah but it's worse than retarded then
they're worse than retarded they're damaged goods they have they actually have like brain trauma
like um like they got in
a motorcycle accident and i'm going to show you a picture of this lady oh connecticut you're
killing me you better be hot as shit um the current it's a dude for sure oh you suck
hold on i'm almost there did you guys see the picture Wad Zombie put up of our crew on the podcast?
So awesome. He made us all fat.
Like this. What poster child are they using for children?
I'm pulling it up right now. Sorry. I'm pulling it up right now.
So this is the newest poster child for why this is this girl.
They're parading her around saying this is why all kids need to get the injection.
Here we go.
You can see the screen, Tony.
No, can I watch while I'm on the phone?
Because I'm on my phone.
I'm not watching on my phone.
I should be.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Don't get crazy.
It might be an echo.
Don't get crazy.
Anyway, so I put the picture up.
Everyone else can see it.
You can go back to it.
It's a 12-year-old girl who is 400 pounds, and she's been in the ICU for, I don't know, 48 days.
Oh, my God.
And this is why, and with this story, they don't mention that her parents basically killed her.
Yeah, I said it.
If you have a 12-year year old kid that's 400 pounds
that is that your parents should be charged i don't know if they should be charged but they
literally yeah this kid's 400 pounds yeah you can just you go back and look at them put up a picture
of her and basically she's in the icu and they're saying she's dying to covid and that's why all
kids need to be vaccinated and that this is a sickness of the unvaccinated this is just not true
but that's why i don't think it's like,
to believe this story, you have to be retarded.
You have to be completely insane.
But it's not because there's lizard people here
or Joe Biden's cloned.
It's because we live with a bunch of pussies.
Yeah, well, we live with a bunch of non-free thinkers.
No one's thinking for themselves.
People are just absorbing information that the news says
and that the easiest outlet to
reach. No one's searching for the true answer, which is really the problem, which kind of leads
me to believe that most of the people are just walking through life and they're either upset
with themselves or upset with their situations. And then they're not actually seeking out the
knowledge to be better because they're just waiting for it to be over unlike you and and
and a small percentage of the population who's walking around searching for ways to be healthier
and to smile more and for the true answers you know what i mean and they don't they want to keep
hiding the true answers from us and pushing coca-cola and pharmaceuticals and things like
that i just want to party so on in your, what's the best thing about getting old?
This is going to blow you away.
My love for my wife.
So weird.
I never thought that would come out of my mouth.
Never even thought about it before.
But my love for my wife grows in a way that I just didn't think was was it's weird so weird you guys together
say that again do you exercise together oh we used to a shitload now we kind of take turns but if
she's in there working out like doing her shit i'll go in there and stare like just like we were
staring at vicky caruso my wife's got a crazy body yeah she got
good genetics she got nuts ass and calves and legs too and crate lats and shoulders all the fun shit
and i like it and she gets all sweaty and shit and i love that no she's old twins when she was 41 and they're five oh shit she might be 46
she's in really good shape though she's not like me she's like
yeah it's i was just about to comment your fitness actually i've been following you for
a long time i've been doing crossfit since 2010 so you did a challenge i felt like with yourself maybe five years ago where you were trying to
do as many owl ring muscle-ups in your garage do you remember doing that on instagram oh yeah yeah
that wasn't that long ago i was actually thinking about maybe doing that again like i added one
every week for like seven or eight weeks the goal was 10 and then i never made it to 10 and
my shoulder started you gotta start doing some shoulder stuff and make it there yeah i know i
should another thing too is is don't tell anyone this can anyone hear me
i found an old bag of like pure creatine and arginine in my closet.
And I've been taking like before I work out, I've been taking like just like a spoonful of this powder.
It's so disgusting.
I've been taking PEDs.
I've been taking arginine and creatine, just pure white.
The white, it looks like Coke.
One looks like baking soda and one looks like salt.
I can't remember which is which.
And I put it in a cup and I've been drinking it.
And it's really like I think I, like, five pounds of water weight.
Like, next time I'm wearing a short-sleeved shirt on one of these shows and I go like this, you should check out my arms, Tony.
I think they're getting, like, bigger.
But anyway, I don't think that's conducive to me doing 10 strict unbroken muscle-ups.
I mean, I doubt it's hurting you.
But, I mean, it's definitely probably making you hold some water, some sales creatine. Because you think creatine gets old. That's what my wife's
like. What are you doing that? You've had that shit for like 10 years. I'm like, I know, but I
just, I'm just wanting to get buff. It's old, but there's definitely something to like humidity and
different temperatures. I mean, is it all like stuck together? No, no, no, no. I, I, I bought it
is the pure stuff online
both of them the arginine and the in the in the creatine and then i put them in glass jars and i
sealed them oh okay that's probably it's probably fine for sure yeah i've been taking beta alanine
recently you messed with that before no that's the stuff that fraser said gives you a third lung
yeah it makes you i love the way it makes me feel i suggest you try
all right i don't want to people are going to start saying i had you on the show too long it's
been 10 minutes you're right you're right i'll just call back i think
i appreciate you talking to me look i don't give a
okay thank you tony thanks man bye it's the Bye. It's the only sound effect this show has.
I also love how you're like,
I found an old bag of creatine
like just in the closet.
Just dust the old bad boy off
and hop back in the line.
Here he goes. Look at Connecticut.
God, I don't even want to answer this.
You're such a good dude.
You're such a good dude.
Tell me what kind of a dude you are.
Hello.
Oh, my.
Hey.
Connecticut calling.
Hi.
Email.
Oh, I just wanted to thank you for bringing us up to speed on Fitness Lonnie.
Oh, yeah.
You knew Dorian?
Just from YouTube.
Yeah, he's cool, right? Back in the back in the day well yeah he's very cool yeah so he was at the house last night he's actually i can't believe it yeah and he's gonna
actually come over for breakfast this morning before he splits town and actually supposed to
i'm supposed to meet him in one minute in my kitchen and uh it was so cool it was it was i
was laughing we were laughing so hard last night i was
like crying he was when you started your when you started your podcast last night with the fighter
i was like oh my god fitness lani yeah um what did he say that i was dying it was he and he has
a friend with him named jamie boy and um jamie boy said um we don't have ideas ideas have us
or humans don't have ideas ideas have humans and then we just started riffing on that idea and it
was we i was fucking dying in my i was dying and my kids loved them and he just wear he's just in
a brown robe he shaved off his eyebrows his head is shaved what yeah he's just, he's just in a brown robe. He shaved off his eyebrows. His head is shaved.
Yeah.
He's just complete.
He's like nothing.
And he just sat in the couch in one position.
He doesn't fidget.
He, and he's so funny and he's so nice.
I over hugged him.
I hugged him like too many gratuitous hugs.
But he's cool as shit. Who was it that he was always after?
Who was it he was always after?
Camille or somebody? No, the same girl that Raw was after, which is amazing. Right. It was Andrea Ager.
Oh, that's right. Andrea, who's in New York now. OK. Yeah. That's great. It's fascinating that the two the two God guys are.
guys are uh they were rejected they had to move to the next higher level yeah they both wanted andrea agar and i think i think she made a post years ago did i have no business talking about
this okay let's talk about it i think she was a virgin like i think she's hardcore christian
and i think she was a virgin before she got married and i wonder if it broke those dudes
hearts i should ask him.
That's funny.
Well,
listen,
the last time I called,
I missed the question you asked me,
which was,
do I have children?
Uh,
is this Jody?
Yeah.
Oh,
hi.
Hi.
Why would you ask me if I had children?
That was just weird.
I don't mind answering,
but,
um, I don't know.
Also, I didn't mean to keep calling you.
I have had customers in and out all day.
So I've been in and out of your podcast.
Yeah.
So every question, every there's only basically every question I'm asking, whether it's, do you have
kids? Um, how much do you back squat? What's the biggest penis you've ever seen? They are all
pathways to where were you before you were born and where will you go when you die? Those are
really the only two things that really interest me. So if I start to, whenever I'm talking,
the only two things that really interest me so if i start whenever i'm talking that's where i'm headed okay so so i don't know what maybe i'm like a um those are always my goal for some reason i
think i think i mean i'm i assume it used to be like probably if you would ask me that 30 years
ago it was like um where i was going with where it was uh um how far is your house from
here and uh do we have to use condoms but but my goals have changed now i'm yeah so all right well
i was it was good checking in and i'm gonna have to re-listen because i want to hear all about
fitness lani do you have kids i do i have a 27 year old, um, in Manhattan and I have a 26
year old, uh, son in LA. Oh, congratulations. Wow. On either coast. And they, they put up with
my CrossFit addiction very well. I'm always luring them to the, I'm always luring them into
the CrossFit gym when they come visit me.
And we always have a good time.
They're a year apart?
Is that what you said?
Yeah, they're 15 months apart.
Wow, good job.
Boy, girl, done.
Are they, man, do you think they're going to stay in L.A. and New York their whole life?
I don't know. My LA boy came home and he said, I can't believe how easy it is
to breathe in Connecticut, which was very, which was very enlightening to me. Yeah. He said, LA is
just very, very hard to, it's hard to imagine that you have a hard time breathing. It's not a cool place. But he said the air was much clearer in Connecticut, and he really enjoyed that.
Yeah.
I don't think about it, but I'm thinking about it now.
The thought of my kids being far away from me is unsettling.
It's horrible.
Yeah.
Oh, it is.
Okay, good.
That makes me feel better.
But, you know, Erica's in Manhattan, so I can at least, I'm at least, you know, an hour away from her.
My, when I moved to, my mom was an attorney, and when I moved to, in the Bay Area, and when I moved to Santa Cruz, which is like 70 or 90 miles away from her house, she was right around when she was like, okay'm done being an attorney and she moved down here and at first i was like oh that's so sweet but now that i'm i have my kids are getting
older i'm like oh i get it like if my if my kids move somewhere i'm moving but i did the same thing
i moved from in a weekend i moved from chicago to connecticut so my kids have that bug in them
to move you know right right anyway i know I'm taking up most of your
time, but great podcast. I always love them. And it was good catching up with you. No, no, no. I'm
going to get off the phone. I got to go. You can't do that to me. I'm the star of the show. I got to
go, Jody. Nice talking to you. You're going to call the shots. I know. Yeah. Bye. What the fuck?
That's like talking to my dad. I call my dad and like immediately he's trying to get off the phone. Hey, Heidi, how are you? Good. Is everything OK? I'll be back from Armenia in a month. OK, I love you. Bye. Literally, it's like that. I'm like, OK.
yeah he would drive he's at a strip club and his favorite dancer is about to come on the stage dude it's your son i just called chill chill like let something come up we're gonna drive from oakland
to livermore and he would sit down and he'd be there for about 20 minutes and then he'd go
okay well i better head on
took you longer to drive out here oh this is so sad this story about this 12 year old girl
is it rude to add someone to an active group text that without asking them first
i that's a good question i don't know not if you're a monastic monk
um i want your wife on the podcast I want your wife on the podcast. I want my wife on the podcast too.
Oh, glad we finally made it past 10.
I don't know what that means.
Cabinet lady.
It had some context.
He thinks people with kids have an opportunity for greater enlightenment.
Is that true?
Do I think that?
I think that one of the staples of that is that you're living for something more than yourself.
Like you have to at that point, or're living for something more than yourself like you
have to at that point or at least you really really should if you have kids right and so
sometimes it takes something like that for people to separate that it's not all about them and they
have to now live with actions that show that they're helping more than themselves okay okay Okay. Okay. Right. I, uh, from a person who doesn't have kids,
but I'm what you're saying makes, um, what you're saying makes sense.
Uh, but, but I, but I think there's some hiccups there, but I go, but I got to end the show.
Um, oh shit, pull down this number. So no one calls, um, that this is what, uh, uh, Susie,
how can we all got so much fatter than you when we started drinking coca-cola um it's a thing on it's called the the sickness wellness health
pendulum and i was just so much fitter that i could uh i had a big hedge built against that
dude kate drank like fucking that's like that's like if you drank seven cokes a day for a year
that's how fat you'd get hey you know what's also weird about that photo is um that, that's like, that's like if you drank seven Cokes a day for a year, that's how fat you'd get.
Hey, you know what's also weird about that photo is that's, that's the norm here in the United States.
Yeah.
And here we are.
Here I am on the Sevan podcast, just making fun of Coca-Cola.
God.
Oh, I stopped myself.
Did you see that?
That's good.
Oh, I did not have that up.
Retarded definition geez remove
okay last last word last word last word here we go mars good to hear from you this morning how
are you brother yeah it's been a long time what do you want to talk about because i gotta go
okay well what what zombies a good dude what zombies a good dude wad zombie's a good dude wad zombie's a good dude i agree
also uh will's a good dude will is a good dude and this is dylan my old guy
uh dylan's cool dylan i gave dylan my phone i followed you on instagram but i gave dylan my
like my my phone number and you know what this guy does?
It's just classic.
It's just classic.
Dylan, I give Dylan my phone number,
and he sends me the longest text anyone has sent me in five years
explaining to me that he doesn't want to bug me.
And the fact that I fucking had to read that made me want to mash him.
But he wants to be a professional fighter,
so I just was like, nah, I won't mash him.
I don't mash real fighters, I won't match. I don't match.
I don't match real fighters.
I only match fake fighters.
I call him to hang up on you.
Okay.
Thank you.
That's good.
Instagram shadow bands me.
Mars Logan.
Nobody hangs up on me.
Yes.
Kate is the largest,
largest and in charge.
You guys,
thanks for tuning in today.
I,
I will be changing locations for the next week,
but Matt and I will not miss a beat tomorrow.
We have Tyson Bajan on,
which I'm super excited about.
Then.
Just tomorrow,
Friday.
No,
tomorrow's Thursday.
So we have tomorrow.
And then we just got a text from a possible really cool guest on Friday.
So we might be able to make that work.
Am I on that text thread?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's cool.
Wow.
And we got some cool shows live up there.
Awesome.
It's Miranda Alcarez.
So we might get her on Friday.
Saturday's usually day off, but who knows.
And Sunday we'll do the news and i
believe hobart will be back i think so and then man these weeks are just flying by and then we
got some cool people coming up uh the following week um monday oh monday we have Eddie Penny, another SEAL. Yep. And Jason Hopper.
And Jason Hopper.
And that's going to be a back-to-back feature on Monday due to scheduling.
And then we'll probably get Mr. Dave Lipson on that week as well.
And then possibly Ben Bergeron.
All those guys are looking like they'll be coming up next week.
Man, I haven't talked to Dave Lipson in years. Yeah, he he's got a show this weekend that's why he wasn't able to come in now
so we he's got a bodybuilding show so we'll be able to recap he he's he's performing in the
bodybuilding show i'm pretty sure um it was i gotta double check that the text but i think
that's what what he had said he had a show this weekend but he's wow good to go next week that's awesome all right yeah come on all right guys i'm gonna go have breakfast with
dorian uh fitness lani his new name tisero and then i'm off in private jet peace and love