The Sevan Podcast - #254 - Eddie Penney Cont.

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

Eddie Penney is a former Navy SEAL. He is the founder and CEO of Contingent Group. Follow Eddie - https://www.instagram.com/eddie.penney/ The Sevan Podcast is sponsored by http://www.barbelljobs.com Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/therealsevanpodcast/ Watch this episode https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC59b5GwfJN9HY7uhhCW-ACw/videos?view=2&live_view=503 Support the show Partners: https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Corrupt.gov i uh i got i got i got a buddy who's in the same line of work as you um before i'd mentioned him before he he actually came up under chance hughes also uh dave castro he the, was the director of the CrossFit games. And, uh, he was fired, uh, like 24, 48 hours ago from CrossFit Inc. After being there for 15 years, he basically built the CrossFit games, right? So it has this whole, whole persona. It has this whole, the cool thing, the cool thing that used to be about CrossFit is, is that, hey, guys whose lives depend on their fitness use this. Right. So whether you're a SEAL, a firefighter, a police officer, and so the rest of us liberal pussies that don't want to partake in that shit, we can still go over to a CrossFit gym and do the same shit they do. And I can pretend like I did buds a little bit for 20 minutes today. And they got Dave, and Dave spread that thing like wildfire in the teams. He started it in like 2005 when he was in the teams and it spread like wildfire.

And then he became a buds instructor and he would validate it by saying stuff like, Hey, I saw Josh Bridges come through buds and he did CrossFit to prepare. And he was the fittest guy who showed up, you know? And so it became this whole, and then we would see when we would run when we would look at google searches during the iraq conflict and the conflict with afghanistan we would see the largest it seemed like the largest place in the world for crossfit was afghanistan and iraq and it's because the soldiers were googling the shit out of it right well it's easy to do wherever you go it's you can pack it up in a little case any gear kettlebells whatever you need and it's

freaking right there which is super nice. Right. And they fired this guy yesterday. And I know – and they didn't fire him because of his competence. No, I'm guessing views. I mean I think when you have woke leadership, a guy who is not woke is going to be a leadership challenge. So if they wanted to address lack of fitness in the black community in Compton, Dave would be like, let's build a gym in Compton and nip that shit in the bud. These fucking jokers want to start a diversity, equity, inclusivity council.

They're more concerned about perception. They are not concerned about getting the job done. Oh, that's what it always is about. And it should always be about get the job done. I don't care what it's about. Like, it doesn't mean you got to hurt people's feelings along the way, but I'm sorry. If you're not a part of getting the job done, chances are your feelings are going to get hurt, but that could be used as like, Hey, I need to better myself. I need to do this a little bit better. I need to

be like this guy or this girl over here. Yeah. It's ridiculous. It's all this, um, PC politically correct. You can't say this, can't say that. And it's just, it's, it's destructive. It's so destructive from the inside out. and here we are. Here we are. It's funny how people flip stuff around too. They're openly racist while they point at other people being racist who are not being racist. So for example, Greg Glassman was pointing out that, hey, the people who are involved – he made a tweet called Floyd19. pointing out that hey the people who are involved he made a tweet called floyd 19 and he basically said the same people who tried to help us with covet are now going to help us with racism and this is completely a fucked up situation and they should completely stay out of it yeah and and uh and people took it he was like helping helping the melanated part of our population if that's

how you distinguish from people by the color of their skin. And instead he was, uh, said that it was insensitive and, uh, he was, they were, he was told it was insensitive and he was, he was, uh, you know, he was basically forced out of his company, not forced. He could have stayed. He took hundreds of millions of dollars and hit the road. It's a whole coddling thing, man. Right? Like, Oh, let's coddle this group or this group. But while you're doing that, you're taken away from this group. And right now trending who's being taken away from is your white male. Yes. Yes. Be honest with it. That's where you're, you're taken from it. And maybe it's because we don't, and I hate saying we, we don't, cause we're all human and that's the way it should be left alone.

I was talking to a buddy about like newspaper articles like a black man got shot by a white cop or a black. Well, you really not can hear about the other way. It's like, I don't need to know the color. I don't care. Right. A cop killed a dude. Right. That's fine with me.

I'm cool with that. Like, you don't need to like we put in these colors and it just it twists it all up and now like oh so now this color is against this color and then you just start that war and it's a bunch of bullshit it's it's funny that you uh it's funny that you say that too this guy dave castro is about as mexican as you can get um his family's like really hardcore mexican uh grew up in in steinbeck country you know basically here in central california it's just all fucking hard-working mexicans here just working in the fields right that's like that's his cohort those are his peers and they fired this guy uh he i'm he's probably one of the most ethnic people on the team and they replaced him with the dude who's, and they're all,

this company CrossFit is always professing like diversity equity. I mean, they, they're at the forefront of pushing racism under the guise of not pushing racism. It's fucking unbelievable. This shit works on people. It's,

it's unbelievable. It works on anyway. And they fired him and replaced him with the white dude who's six, three, the entire team is just white dudes now. The whole fucking – it's crazy. Did he say something specific? Was there a specific reason or is it just –

No, he's a leadership challenge. He's always been a leadership challenge. He's the most capable – so basically he's overseas. He's doing jobs at night and running CrossFit by day. In 2009 and 10. Say that again? Are they intimidated by him? Is that what the deal is?

Yeah, everything by him. Imagine like – I'm going to say this. It's so funny to say this to you. I have no fucking idea who I'm talking to. Imagine that you have a job and every decision you make is life or death and you take shit so fucking seriously. And then you come back into the civilian world and, and,

and no one is taking their job that seriously. And then you're called not professional. Yeah. Eddie, you're just not professional. What the fuck? I set the bar for professional. This guy, it's gotta be too much then. It's got to be too much then.

It's got to be too much for him. There's definitely that middle of the road. Yes, it's too much. It's too much. It's definitely that middle of the road. You can't be like, all right, life or death situation. Let's go back to the civilian life and still use that at the same intensity. But the principles and the fundamentals and the basis are still the same.

Hey, we need to get a job done. Okay, cool. What does that look like? Let's go. The people, once you figured that out about this guy, his name's Dave Castro. Once you figured that out about him, you wanted him as your leader. Because just shit got done and he always pushed you to the next level. So he would say to you, and I'm sure you saw this too,

Eddie, I need 40 sweaters knit for the entire team. It's going to snow tomorrow.'m sure you saw this too eddie i need 40 sweaters knit for the entire team it's going to snow tomorrow you're like i don't know shit about knitting but but find a way yes yes yes find a way that's what is wrong that okay see here's where that is that is like a huge thing right now is people pushing other people to better themselves and they turn it around and they somehow feel attacked. Why, why, why? I have no clue. Like if someone challenged me or like, Hey, we need to get better at this, or you need to work on this. I don't be like, Oh, what'd you say to me? I'm like, okay, cool. Like, can you give me some pointers or whoever I'm talking to or whatever the situation is? Yeah. I want to like hold me accountable like i was just did um i was just talking to my

wife about this like we need to hold each other accountable for meal prepping like we're like we need to start meal prepping because you go to the freaking store way too much we never know what we want and we're eating like crap sometimes like we need to stop that so let's go let's what does that look like all right let's do what we used to do when we were training a lot harder. And until we got into this like honeymoon phase. So, and then two people hold each other accountable. Exactly.

There's that's beauty. That's how shit gets done. Do you, what kind of car do you drive? Uh, Nissan Titan. Do you have a blind spot? Like in,

in the front, in the front, is there a spot where there's like, I'm sure there's the little sides down the, yeah down the, yeah. I'm sure there is, yeah. Because I drive, well, for a long time I drove a Toyota pickup, a 1990 Toyota pickup. And I had the, where the windshield and the side window meet, there's that bar. Yeah, right, right. And it would be so easy for someone to step out into the street and for me not to see them.

And my wife would be like, hey, do you see that them and my wife would be like hey do you see that pedestrian do you see that pedestrian do you see that pedestrian and i always thought i was the coolest dude ever because i would always be like thank you like if you're driving with me and you see something i'm never like i see that or don't backseat drive like thank you thank you yeah hey hey you fat fuck you probably shouldn't be eating that twinkie how dare you call me a fat fuck i'm just trying to save your life yeah i'm not gonna eating that Twinkie. How dare you call me a fat fuck? I'm just trying to save your life. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. A Twinkie sounds really good right now. A frozen Twinkie. Well, that's where we're at.

There's people trying to actually save other people's lives, and they're being called racist or insensitive. And, like, I'm not like that. I need you to tell me that someone's about to step out into the street. Fuck my ego about getting my feelings hurt if I'm a good driver or not. I think we talked about that a little bit. People want to hear what they want to hear, not what they should hear or the truth. Like, hey, man, you should – since we're on the whole diet thing, like, hey, we probably shouldn't go to McDonald's. Maybe let's go to a salad place or something and just get some chicken breast on that or or something

like that or like hey we'll cut down having five sodas a week down to two sodas a week just stuff like that like what are you saying i'm saying that you're out of control and you're not doing a good job so i'm here to hold you accountable there is nothing wrong with that and people think whenever whenever they don't hear something that hurts them to the i mean i'm told stuff all the time like, ooh, that hurt a little bit. But you know what? You're freaking right. You're absolutely right.

I messed that up. I messed that up and I'm going to do better next time. And that's just – there goes your pride issue, right? There's your pride. That's number one thing, man, all the time. Are you questioning my pride? Your ego gets hurt. You get a little butt hurt and all of a sudden that person that was trying to help you, you turn into an enemy all because of your brain.

Yes. Yes. It's ridiculous. And they're trying to help you. Like I would want to be – I try to surround myself with people that want to help me. Do they joke about some stuff like, hey, dude, you're looking – your legs are a little smaller or whatever. Like I'll take it back. Okay, dude.

All right. I'm taking that to the next level. Let's go. Whatever it may be. You know, guys at work'll take it back. Okay, dude. All right. I'm taking that to the next level. Let's go. Whatever it may be. You know, guys at work, whatever it is, like, hey, dude, your risk assessment was missing this. You need, you know, we need to beef this up a little bit. Like, okay, cool.

Thanks. Any suggestions? All right, cool. Taking note and carrying on and make it a better product. Like that is great to be surrounded by people that want you to do better and are actually investing the time in you. Like, and you're not, and they're, and you're not paying them. They're just doing it because you know, that's what we're supposed to be doing. Right.

That's the sense of community. Right. I believe so. This guy belongs on the news, but we shouldn't waste his time. He's probably doing things that are actually important. Hey, Colin, eat a dick. So even, even us morons need a little time with the smart guys in the room uh what what what are the challenges when you come back from um when you when you leave the military performing at such a first for the first of all for those you don't know you should go back and listen to the last episode i did with ed. It also, I think, has more than 50,000 downloads over at Apple now.

It's pretty cool. Not as cool as he did another podcast I saw yesterday that has almost 300,000 downloads. It's like a War Stories podcast. Oh, Combat Story, I think, was – yeah, Combat Story. Yeah, if you like Eddie, you should type in his name. He's done a bunch of cool interviews. But basically, similar to what the vast majority of listeners of my show know of Dave Castro, he was not only a Navy guy. He was a SEAL, and then he pushed envelope there and went to dev group, which us knuckleheads call SEAL Team 6.

And so that's basically the same thing that Eddie Penny did. And so like any wannabe liberal, I saw him on Instagram and then wanted to be friends with him, even though I spent my younger years bashing the military. Time to grow up, Seve. What are the challenges of – I knew something was wrong, Eddie, when I would walk around my neighborhood and I would see Black Lives Matter signs. Like 10 years ago. I'm like, uh-oh.

Or eight years ago in Berkeley. I'm like, this is not good. But anyway, and that's how I began my switch. And Greg Glassman was a libertarian, and he gave me a lot of books. Do you know David Boaz's book, Libertarian? I don't. David Boaz. But that whole BLM thing, what a smart choice of words.

Yes. When you don't support Black Lives Matter, that's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying. You're taking out a contract. It's amazing. I want to show this real quick before I ask you this next question. David Boaz, let's see. How do I go?

Maybe they sell it on Amazon. David Boaz. Why does that name sound familiar? This book is so freaking good. This book, anyone, everyone should read this book. Mom, if you're watching this show, and I know you are, you have to read this book. You have to read this book. The audio book is

good too. Libertarianism by David Boaz, whether you're a Republican or a Democrat, whether you're like you're full fucking Marxist, whatever the fuck you are, you have to read this book. This will forever change your life. And it will not only change your life, it will arm you with some like fundamental pieces of logic. Like some of you just know what you what you think and how you feel is right this will give you the pieces um to to share it what are the challenges what why what are the challenges of a guy who's had well first of all is there great leadership in the seal teams absolutely absolutely there's also a couple turds right it's like it's like anywhere else man you know we call it the 10 percent of turds but no i mean that percentage

definitely shrinks when you get to that that certain level because people get weeded out but yes the leadership is very strong from my experiences was there some weak moments absolutely it just ebbs and flows but uh for the majority of the majority of my time, the people I was with and under outstanding leadership learned tremendous amount and made a lot of those guys my mentors for sure. And what does that look like? What are some of the characteristics or manifestations of great leadership? manifestations of great leadership? I think the biggest one that stuck out, like, stuck out to me is, or stood out to me, was just the ability to make very decisive. Because there's a lot of times, you know, you're patrolling, you're getting off the helo, and all of a sudden, there might be gunfire, and you find yourself in an unpredicted situation that was not planned, which is, that's pretty much the definition of war, in my opinionredicted situation that was not planned, which is there. That's pretty much the definition of war.

And my, in my opinion is stuff that's not planned and, and making decisions like that, like just make a decision. Is it always the right decision? Absolutely not, but it's better than twiddling your thumbs, staying on the X,

which we call it where you're just receiving gunfire, whatever it is, but making a decision, getting off the X and maneuvering towards the the enemy and you can take that little what i just took of combat and put it anywhere in your life it could be dealing with your kids it could be dealing with your work get off the x wherever the problem is and maneuver to a strategic advantage whatever that might be for whatever your situation is but But yeah, just making those decisions and make super fast. I mean, just the process, gunfire whipping over your head is in itself nuts. I added explosions,

people injured. That was probably the biggest thing. I was so impressed. Some of my leaders, they would just make decisions. It just nothing was facing them whatsoever, no matter how crappy it looks, no matter how much blood, guts, sweat, tears there was out there. Decision, decision, decision, decision to get the job done, which kind of goes back. We were talking about Dave Castro's no matter what it is, like the 40 knit sweaters, right? Like what? I don't want to admit, but we'll find a way. We'll find a way. We'll get the job done.

That's it. That is if people can wrap their minds about around that one thing, no matter if I know how to do it and quit questioning crap like, oh, I don't know if I can do that. Like it should be. I don't know if I could do that, too. I need to go find somebody that can help me with this project, this task, do this. If we changed our mindset on that piece alone holy crap like there would be no i can't do i can't do that i i don't even know where to begin begin with first step asking someone else hey do you know anything about this and we i see it all the time it's like why like

my kids obviously it's big in the like in you know the kid realm like i can't do that don't say that oh that's that's worse than saying cuss words around me um yeah okay why can't you do it all right now then you like let them think like if you had to do it what would you do and then they give you answers certain options that they might take it and it works out but god that's like you just get the job done and that's another thing another leadership trait is you get the job done i don't care what it is uh that's what we kind of push with contingent group, our risk mitigation services. Man, if no matter what it is, the job will get done. Does that mean I have all the answer? Does that mean my inner circle has all the answers? Absolutely not. But within our little

business, our little company, we can reach out to whoever we need to define that professional that can lead us to the right way we put the pieces together and we solve the problem very simple it's very simple what does that look like when um uh two two questions what does that look like in in contingent group for those of you don't know eddie runs a company called contingent group and it's if incorrect me if i'm wrong but it's basically security for uh high profile targets like if you have it's pretty incorrect me if i'm wrong but it's basically security for uh high profile targets like if you have it's pretty much anything when anybody a person a family an organization domestic or international has um needs security or safety we we hate to say security because it's so like everyone thinks of bodyguards and that's we do do that but we do a very low vis uh we just

find the solutions we set up their whole all their protocols from them leaving to them going, whatever, or going wherever they're going and coming back hotels, cars, their business overseas, anything and everything tracking, you name it, surveillance. We do it all. We do it all. And what are some of the challenges that come up in that business that like you haven't seen before? Like, like, like you were saying, like something will pop up and they'll be like, okay, we're not sure how we're going to do this.

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. I remember we dove into the oil and gas business a couple years ago, and I had no clue. It was my first runaround. But, of course, I go to a trusted friend that has some experience in that. Like, hey, what do I do? Or what's the best way to do this? And we kind of powwow with a couple other people, figured it all out, and boom, we've got it all set up. You just need some brain power.

Thank God for consulting, right? And that's it. You just figured it out. That's one that comes to the top of my mind. But new stuff pops up all the time that I haven't seen. It's, I wouldn't say impossible. It's hard to be ready for all of it because every little situation is different. If I could just take domestic violence alone, right?

Every little situation is different. 100% are the kids involved? There's no kids involved. Is a person in state out of state? Do they live next door? Do they not live next door are they still living together so there's there's so many different little elements that go into anything and everything that we just kind of that's why we always push it's customized because nothing is cookie cutter um at all so we're totally against the cookie cutter thing uh thank you waters oflivion said that Eddie was on episode 226.

Another strong characteristic that my that my buddy Dave had was and it's funny you say decisiveness is not only was he decisive, he had clear vision. But in that same tone of voice, without breaking, he would ask people's opinion. So you'd be in a circle with seven people and you'd be like, how we uh how are we going to get that equipment into this room today guys like there was always questions and someone would be like well we're going to use the back door with the truck and he goes any other ideas and someone goes hey no one's going to be in the hotel yet i think we can set up all the gym equipment here and come in the front door and then he'll be like okay what do you think about that and he would just take but with the same voice that he gave orders with, he would ask questions with. There wasn't a – and if you didn't have the – you sort of needed that same confidence to match his humbleness. Right.

Do you know what I mean? And there was always input coming into him. It was never – he was never a know-it-all. It was never prideful. It was never like, hey, I did this. Yeah, I don't think anyone has a monopoly on all the great ideas. I'm pretty sure that's out there. No one has it all figured out. No one. Not even close. Do they teach you that? Teach you what? Like is there a protocol like a – like there's a protocol for CPR. Is there like a – they teach SEALs or they teach leaders in the military, hey, these are the 10 things that make a good leader, and then you have to study them.

Or these are the 10 steps when you're in a situation where you're taking enemy fire and you don't know what to do. There's definitely not that. We have certain things. For the leadership, there's definitely leadership courses. I think of the Marine Corps, J.J. did TIE buckle. It's like justice, judgment, and you just get loyalty. It goes down to each one of each letter is an acronym that stands for something else. But yeah, so there is that. But the situation dictates and like the whole combat thing, we'd always use shoot, move and communicate. You're either shooting, you're either moving or you're communicating so if you're not shooting you need to be getting off the axe moving if and if you're not doing any of those other two

shooting or moving you need to be communicating with your team on what's going on calling out enemy positions or calling whatever it may be so i, which is another thing that can be used all the time, you know, is all that stuff. But I mean, there's tons of leadership schools and they all have their different things, but you got to know who your audience is. That's going to change. That's where you kind of take away the book stuff from common sense stuff. You got to know who your audience is. What situation are you in? That's going to matter matter am i sitting down around at a table with a bunch of people where we're drinking coffee and nothing's crazy or am i on the battlefield where everything's crazy because that's going to change decisions possibly leadership style but i think that's

cool about the voice thing that's amazing to do um is no matter what's going on if you can keep that maintain that uh that tone obviously you might need to raise your pitch if things are loud or whatever it is but to uh have that same demeanor when you're asking for opinions or giving out orders or suggestions or whatever it may be that's that's really actually a really good trait uh to do uh but you know another thing is just like, like you were saying, listening to your team, like listening to your team that not only makes them feel important because it is important, but seven brains, the last time I checked seven brains is way more important than one. I'm pretty sure. And it doesn't matter how long that person's been there. They, everyone has a

really good opinion or a suggestion. And if they don't, I mean, they might get heckled a little bit, made fun of, but still valued, you know? So all that's important. Yes, it needs to be, that's the point of a team. And I'm not, and you were just talking about you're driving with your wife. Like, you know, you might not have seen someone hit someone,

all of a sudden you're in jail for 20 years or whatever it may be. So yeah, please tell me if I'm about to mess up or I did so I don't do it again. Let me go back a second. So there's talent, right? And sometimes – and there's – let's say you lead a team of five guys for whatever mission, to bake a cake or get an enemy target. There's a mission, and the mission needs to be accomplished. What do you do when there's people who are – maybe I should just stay in my comfort zone. When I ran the media team at CrossFit Inc., there were people who were super duper fucking talented, like crazy talented. But man, they were hard to work with. But they all, not only were they talented,

but they got the job done every time. They exceeded. You asked for one, they gave you two. You asked for three, they gave you four. You asked it at 7 a.m., they had it to you at 5 a.m. You said you wanted it to get 10,000 views. It got 50,000 views. But they were fucking always a problem.

Do you know what I mean? Like they didn't like the camera they were using. They didn't like the way you talked to them. They didn't appreciate that their office temperature was 68 instead of 72. I mean they were just a fucking pain in the ass. But I would just – did you ever have any of that or do you have any of that where there's people that you know that are so talented and you have to put your ego aside because it doesn't matter? At the end of the day, everything forward-facing is fucking – is a miracle. Right. I mean it's great to have talented people.

Talented will never outdo hard work in my opinion i would rather have somebody that's trainable but has the qualities of like trust integrity a good person thinks about others i would rather i would take that over the most talented person any day of the week because if you have those stuff you're trainable as long as you're trainable and you have those qualities those intangibles i like to call them i would take those guys in a heartbeat and yeah so there's some talented people out there for sure but let's say they're talented and hardworking let's say they're everything and you're getting what you want out of them but they but i'll take it one step further is there a point where you where you realize like hey you have this team of 10 guys or you have a guy that's so talented, but the guy leading him, like, instead of firing this guy, you fire the leader because the leader

is incapable of leading this team. Like, were you ever on a team or you would see it in the teams and there was a leader leading a team. He just wasn't capable. They were beyond his talents. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Some people are like, we would are more better workers than they are leaders for sure. But but on that, too, it doesn't mean that they can never come to that point. Just maybe at that time they weren't ready. They need a little bit more training up on that stuff. Again, back to the if are they trainable because some people are not trainable. They're so stuck in their ways. Those are the people that go in my world.

If I'm if I'm in charge or anywhere like you got to be trainable, man, even I am trainable by guys that I may be over. Like I am still trainable. And when I lose that, I've like, I've lost it all. Like I've got to be like, I just posted today, like always a student. I'm always learning no matter where I am. If I'm the resident expert at whatever X, Y, and Z, it doesn't matter. I can still learn that that that that's what makes you the expert is if you keep retaining retaining and just bringing in new

stuff and new ideas uh there is no talent seven you know this bounce i i don't i didn't mean like alan i don't mean like a talent that wasn't earned or created or cultivated um so and i'm sorry i didn't explain that matter. I'm just talking, and by talent, I was being more encompassing. I should be more specific since I call people out on that a lot. I mean, I'm just, I realized that Dave is a tremendous talent.

By talent, I mean, he's cultivated this insane talent. He knows everything there is to know about the CrossFit Games, about fitness, about leadership, about running events. And my theory is that the leadership there, the Coca-Cola leadership there, the fucking serial executives there, the people who are on that team, they were incapable of leading him.

And what, what should have happened is, is that the board should have fired those leaders and found a leader who could lead him. They basically had, or, or they should have promoted, or they should have promoted Dave to, to a higher position because, um, to, to, to get rid of someone when they have no shortage of confidence but just other people don't get along with them is a mistake, I think. And not in absolutes, but – sorry, go ahead, Eddie. No, just I'm like taking in what you're saying. Like sometimes personalities just don't mesh. Right. taking in what you're saying like sometimes personalities just don't mesh right i mean i mean i haven't i don't know dave um he he might be i'd be bummed that loved his job but he might

get away and be working with other people and be like all right yeah that was not my crew i mean no matter how hard you try no matter how great everyone's doing their job sometimes personalities just don't mesh and it makes going to work miserable well the company was sold to venture capitalists so basically our boss owned the company solely and it was full of guys dev group guys seals military guys like everyone who worked there the dudes the chicks everyone was like mill right and then there were fucking couple creative quackadoodles like myself like from berkeley right who like held the cameras and shit and um basically he built this thing up and man, it was a fucking intense environment. Like you could be at a CrossFit, uh, after party and get slapped at the bar by like one of your friends, like mill guys who drank too much. You know what I mean? Like it was, it was intense. You've seen that happen.

And, um, and so it wasn't your normal corporate environment and this thing grew huge and the, and the owner had singular focus on just spreading health, right? And so it wasn't your normal corporate environment. And this thing grew huge. And the owner had singular focus on just spreading health, right? Just spreading like tip of the spear and then also backfilling to like the sickest people in the country. Those are the two things he wanted. And then he sold it to corporate America basically. He sold it to venture capitalists where their primary thing is – Greg's primary thing was to build the brand as the premier health brand in the world. Basically, he wanted to take the mantle from the CDC. His words, not mine. Like if you want to know how to eat, how to move, what like this is the place. And he sold and and the new guys just want to make

money. Right. Like they got Monster Energy as the sponsor. They're now pushing supplements. They're just like they're they're monetizing it and so you have and you use the word integrity you have someone like dave who's got this huge amount of integrity and now it's being chipped away at and i just think that yeah i don't but but but but i but i still think that they should have fired the leaders like the leaders on top of the leaders like they threw the baby out with the bathwater you know what i mean like he was their most valuable asset not in terms of talent hard work but also brand like you got rid of the mexican seal team six guy like what the fuck is wrong with you it'll come up and bite him in the ass

yeah i mean it's nuts why should people want to hire um uh um people who are in the military? Because you feel sorry for them because they're veterans and they did so much for this country and you should give them a handout? Is that why? That's because we're all jacked up in the head. That's why. No, I'm kidding. Well, kind of. I was reading something or I was listening to a podcast. Actually, no. It was a mindset book podcast and actually, no, it was, um, it was another, it was a mindset book and it was talking about leaders. And if you go through leaders, they said that there, there was two, there's two things that popped out like that, that, um, notoriously go with leaders. One was, was in the military. Another was practices, martial arts of some sort,

right? Because you got the discipline. So I think that's the big reason is you think about it, you're in charge of whatever. And you got the discipline, man. Like your discipline is instilled from day one. I remember when I went to the Marines at 17, I was just a kid, a very immature, scared, timid little boy. And then just through boot camp through are you really saying do you really mean that i really do oh man i miss my mom for sure but yeah it was it was my first time away from home i was i mean 17 dude like yeah yeah it's not uh yeah um i was i was scared for the

first couple weeks and he kind of grows into you and you're like, okay, you start to form into what they mold you into. Are there other boys there who are scared too? Of course. They're not going to tell you, but of course they are. And I'll speak for a good percentage of them. I don't know who they were. I'm sure some were like happy to be away from their home if they were in an abusive household. Of course, that's good to be around.

It's always a situation again. But household, of course, that's good to be around. It always, you know, situation again. But yeah, of course, you're scared. It's record boot camp. Like, screw that. It's not fun. But you got to do this to get to wherever you want to go afterwards. But man, you're instilling discipline. You're learning about leadership at a young age. When most people are going to college and getting trashed and getting filled with whatever your professor is teaching you or whatever it is, you're learning how to save your life, your buddy's life. That transfers over to a lot of leadership. I don't care what the job is, because if you're dealing with, in my opinion, if you're dealing with the worst case situation, which I would assume would be someone's's life everything else is a cakewalk so there's kids who are 17 who are going to hard

harvard being taught that um black people are inferior and you're in a program where two black guys just saved your life exactly and i give them a hug and call my brother don't say thanks black brother sorry i couldn't resist that's all right but that's that's it yeah like there's a saying in the military we're gonna go here real quick it's just we're all green because it man i've i've become so close with friends that are freaking hispanic black asian freaking it doesn't matter like how about the muslims You got any Muslim friends? Yeah, I do. Yeah. From interpreters for sure. A hundred percent. I might not agree with certain views. They might not agree with my views, but they're a good person, a good human being. And that's you'd break bread with them. Absolutely.

That's between their beliefs and my beliefs are between myself and God and then whoever they're God. Right. That's where that goes. But I'm not going to treat them differently as a human unless they give me a reason to. So, yeah, no, I mean, that's the way I look at it. Like you are just filled with discipline and discipline and martial arts the same way you got to discipline. Like you have to go over, over and over things to get that discipline nonstop. over and over things to get that discipline nonstop. And it transfers over to great leadership skills, 100%, where someone else that hasn't had that, not saying that other people are not capable of being leaders, but I think that kind of puts them more in the realm of resident expert of what their job is, where, you know, the military and the martial art guy that studies that stuff really gets like the format of it. Like, okay, here is what we need. Here's our organization. Here's our structure. Here's our hierarchy.

Here's how we treat things. We don't jump the chain of command. We don't, we go to the next one. It just, all these intangibles about integrity, being honest with each other, you know, courage, all that stuff, willing to go take a fricking chance, even a means of sacrifice to myself of some sort. I'm not saying throw yourself over a grenade at all times, but to, I mean, sometimes you got to take a hit to save someone else when it's not their fault. A lot of people will gladly push that over to the next guy. So they remain unscathed. And I don't think that's bred in the military. Like you own up to what you're, what you do, what your choices are.

So does that mean all of us are good to go no like back to the 10 there's 10 of turds in the military 100 there's 10 of freaking cops 10 of doctors lawyers teachers you name it you'll see it on the news teacher rigs boy or whatever um so it's it's everywhere poor cops just get all the attention do you right i mean look at doctors they're the worst they're the worst of the bunch i mean i love doctors don't anyone think i hate doctors but they're the worst of the fucking bunch and they and they fucking get a pass um do you remember the very first leader you ever met that was like like it was so profound like you didn't even know what leadership was. You're like, Oh shit, this is leadership. It's like, uh, I didn't know what

the word focus was until I was doing ecstasy when I was 23. I heard people say, you need to get focused. And then one time I was doing ecstasy. I'm like, Oh shit, this is focus. Um, it's like all of a sudden you, will you tell me about that? Like when you were like, oh fuck, this is leadership. Okay. This goes back. You said 23 doing ecstasy and you got focused, right? I just, yeah. Someone's like, Hey dude, a pool. I'd never done a pull-up. And some guy goes, dude, it's not a pull-up. I go, what is it? And my buddy, who's like a juiced up fucking steroidal fucking meth head grabs my lats. He goes, flex this fucking muscle. And I remember hanging on a fucking branch and contracting my back muscle, my lats. And I this fucking muscle and i remember hanging on a fucking branch and contracting my back muscle my lats and i went up and i'm like how the fuck do they call this a pull-up it's a

back contraction and then at that point i'll start i'm focusing you know what i mean i'm focusing and and and from there i learned what the word focus was it's giving something you're on it's it's abandoning me and giving something my attention yep there is no step on focus on eddie penny it's it's like yeah okay so sorry leadership no you're good um mine was first time you saw it marine corps boot camp so my first leadership was actually when i was in high school swimming but the thing that kind of was good leadership that i i'll take to heart it i think it was the day I turned into a man, was at Marine Corps boot camp, and I think I've talked about this before, it's in the book that's coming out, you stand and drill, like, I don't know if you ever heard of the sand fleas in Parris Island, they just, they bite you, they're miserable, they hurt, they suck, and you can't itch

yourself, like, when you're sending out attention, or holding your rifle, you can't move unless they give you the order to move to whatever position. So I was standing there with a shoulder on my right, my rifle on my resting on my right shoulder and a little sand flea just goes up to my forearm. And I'm kind of like using my peripheral vision, looking for these instructors that are just walking around our ranks like freaking sharks waiting just to you know bite down and i thought i could like just get my hand up here kind of itch my arm real quick and you know wipe off the flea and that would be it right so i tried that and all i heard was recruit penny from like their deep voice i'm like like just shit that doesn the worst thing you could hear is your name. So he's like, hey, fall out. So I fell out, and we jogged over to the famous sand pit, where it's just a big sandbox. And usually when you go there, only one thing happens, and one thing only.

You get destroyed. And that's what happened. And it was just me and this drill instructor, Instructor Martinez. I'll never forget this dude. I didn't like him before. Just didn't like him. He was a short, stocky dude. I don't know why I didn't like him.

I just didn't. So he just starts beating me. Racist, racist. Yeah, I'm racist because I didn't like him. To be honest with you, I didn't like any of my instructors until the end. And I really loved Martinez after this. He just starts beating me and beat me and beat me. And then he's like,

Hey, I need you to go run to this tree and then come back. You got 30 seconds. When you say beating you, he's, he's having you do Pete. He's having you do burpees and shit. Pushups,

burpees, uh, jumping jacks or side straddle hops. Uh, you, you name it. Eight count bodybuilders. Where's your gun at the point?

Where do you set your gun down? Just at the top top of the sandpit there's like little rifle racks everywhere you go where okay they're they're strategically placed right by the sandpit so you can put it there nicely and then they can destroy you how nice of them they think of it all so i'll get their beat and we'll build these these runs back and forth and the time is never enough. He's like, Oh, you didn't do it. Do it again. And again, and man, I'm not lying to you. I swear I was there for hours. It was enough to, I noticed shadows and trees were like going to the other side of the trees because there's some pines down there. And I was like, dude, I've been here forever. I'm sweating. I'm I'm like, I'm done. Like I'm,

I'm like, I'm getting fat Like I'm getting fatigued. And I just start crying. So when I tell you I was a little boy, I just like I'm trying to hold myself in because I'm not making it. And I'm crying more of anger. Like I'm going to beat this guy's ass, which I could not have done. He would have destroyed me for sure. I was so ticked off. And I was like starting start feeling sorry for myself.

And then he just makes me do pushups again. And then there's, there's something that clicked in my brain. I do not know what it was, but there was a switch. I was like, and he's talking to me and he's saying some stuff and I don't know exactly what it was, but I just got like this, the second wind of like, okay, no, you're not going to break me like bring it on dude and he just goes we keep doing races keep doing races and he could see the change in my face and I could see the change in this face from from him seeing the change in my face I went from pouty little baby Eddie to bring it on man's here and I really believe that was my defining moment of becoming a man and he broke me like the

dude broke me in the built me up within a matter of a couple hours and then once I was done and he knew I would take I would be there all day all all week whatever he wanted I wasn't leaving I was going I was going I was going he comes up to me and he talks to me he's like it might seem like a simple sand flea but if you don't have a discipline to have the discipline to not scratch yourself when it comes to combat, you might not have discipline to do this, this or this. And I just understood what he was saying. And that was like he wasn't there to punish me. He was there to build me up and train me to make me stronger. He was there to build me up and train me to make me stronger.

And I realized that in that moment and that it was something that I have never forgot. And that one thing made me go through buds and destroy buds. Buds can cry. Buds can cry. I want you to understand that. It's a nut kicker. But not at one time did I ever think about quitting because I was already at that point. I was already at that point. And that dude broke that shit out of me for sure. I think that guy all the time, all the crap I've been, uh, been through all the injuries, walking up a mountain

with a blowed up knee. Uh, it, it didn't matter. It didn't matter. Like that guy, he did some good stuff, man. I tell you what. I wonder if we're going to be able to define leadership here. Let's see if I just type in the word leader. Don't you think leadership is going to mean different to a bunch of different people? FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do.

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Please play responsibly um i think it's see okay like what i like well let me just throw this out there let me throw this out there real quick what i just heard you say a leader changes people a leader sure a leader yeah um he changed you he he put you in the fire and and um and gave you an he well he's the fire he melted you and then you and then you had the chance to reform so you were a kettlebell he turned the heat up and you turned into a sword like and um and i think that um i'm using you for therapy right now to work through my profound just respect for my friend Dave. That's what he did. He gave people an opportunity to change. This guy gave you an opportunity to change.

Which is a beautiful thing. Yeah. What would have – could you – what what would have what were some other options to attack him to run off to like in buds you can ring the bell right and quit right right yeah are they sorry for yourself i mean i did that for the first half of that beat session i felt sorry for myself like oh my god i just scratched a bug like what's the big deal like you know what i mean all those things you tell yourself yeah uh it it is it is it is petty but he turned that scratching of a fly into like a life lesson that i will never forget still to this day will never forget that is out

of all my trainings out of everything that is one of the first things that pops into my mind of lessons learned in my whole life my whole career was that right there it had nothing to do with the seal teams which everyone thinks it nothing to do with the SEAL teams, which everyone thinks it has to do with the SEAL. It doesn't. It was Ring Corps Boot Camp at Parris Island, 17 years old. What about this thought? If you don't want to, like, so,

Dave is maybe the only leader that I ever, maybe one of only two people I could think of that I ever met was a leader. And maybe that's because I'm a leader and I don't want to be led by someone. But like, when I see a leader, it's someone I want to be led by. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, Oh, I'm going to get in that line. And like, do you ever, and I'll, and I'll circle back to that, but let me ask you this question first. Do you ever, um, you said you have mentors or you had mentors? I have mentors. And do you have, do you choose them to be your leader? I wouldn't say I choose

them to be my leader. That can get easily misconstrued. I mean, I guess they lead me to do great things. They build me up as a leader because I'm a leader in my family. I'm a leader in my business. I'm a leader when I go do stuff, I try to rise up to that. Unless it's time for me to be a follower by someone that clearly knows what they're doing. And then maybe one day I'm a leader in that, whatever that section is. No, but I think sometimes I'm led by my 12 year old son. Right. Sometimes I'll say a bad word and he's like, dad, we don't, we don't say that.

And I'm like, you're a hundred percent right, man. I'm sorry. And he just let me like that, like that. So. And there's some parents that slap the shit out of their kids for saying that. Yeah. I don't, they don't want to be, they don't want to be, they don't want to change. He's right. I shouldn't say that. He's right. 100% right now. Are there times where he's got a little attitude? Yeah. Okay, cool. Things just got turned around and you, you know, you don't, you don't say those kinds of things,

but no, man, I've got, I've got so many mentors that I look up for fitness, eating, financial, my faith, parenting, relationship, my marriage. Like I go, and it might be some in-person people that are my close friends or whatever it is. Some are books. Some are people I do it from afar. Like I follow certain people on Instagram for workout stuff and they're my mentor. I look for them for ideas on, or injuries, right? Certain doctors that I'm like, hey, this guy knows what he's talking about.

I've got this problem. I'm going to, those are my mentors. They don't even know me. They don't even know they're mentoring me. And I'm sure that I'm doing that for certain people. I've got messages like, hey, I really appreciate what you're doing. I don't know these guys, but they're like, hey, when you said this has made me feel this way. It stopped me from doing this. That makes you feel good. So, I mean, yeah, I've got a lot of mentors and they're all

from different realms um of aspects of my life and i need that i do need that because it all it holds me accountable as well when i was a kid when i was in college i read a lot of books like about a shit ton of self-help books like like um you know books like uh like Coel's book, The Alchemist. Have you read that? Or Illusions by Richard Bach. Or I read books like Living and Dying by like some Tibetan masters or those kind of self-help books. Like a ton of Buddhism stuff, a lot of Jesus stuff, like people who wrote stories about Jesus. And a lot of stuff like just how to be a better person, how to go deeper in yourself and become more self-realized, become more aware. And basically the reason why I read those things

is because I was having experiences where I was intersecting with my true self and I was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Right. Right. And, um, it's always a fun part of life, isn't it? Oh, it's the best. I mean, I mean, it gives you, it gives you meaning, right? It's like, holy fuck, who is that? Kind of like the awakening. And in those, like it's always talking about the master and the guru and like you'll find your master or your only true master is you or all these things about the student and the master. But leadership, if you – there are so few good leaders out there i feel if you can find someone who can lead you based on this definition that i feel like i just pulled out of any eddie penny if you see someone who will help you change for the matter yes you should you should you should gravitate towards that person because here's the thing about someone who lets you change most

people even people you love to death and who love you, they don't want you to change. You're 75 pounds overweight. They might tell you they want you to lose weight. They may talk shit behind your back. They don't want you to lose weight. They got you in a pigeonhole, man. A leader will let you fucking change for the better. And show you.

Yes. The example. Yep. Yes. We'll put in the time. Yeah. Are you still in contact with martinez no i've never i haven't talked to him since i left uh paris island at all have i i've had the itch to look him up but you can imagine the last name martinez there's quite a few of them so i'm sure i could find him if i if i really dug deep into

that is this first name edgar i don't dude i don't instructor that's what i was instructor i just like that name edgar martinez it's the racist part i just think that's a good boxer's name that's hilarious from tijuana edgar martinez what's the book you have coming out uh dude we just got I think the last time we talked I talked about I was told you I was waiting on approval from DOD and we just got it last week so we're good to go it's at the publisher uh we did our one of our final edit reviews we got to like beef up the end the last chapter and that's about it. But they didn't take anything out. Usually they redact a bunch of stuff. Like you can't talk about this. You can't talk about this. Can't talk about this. Only thing they really redacted was the name of the command. They changed it to the unit, whatever, but they took out nothing. I was

very, we put in some ops and talked about some things and they were like, for sure, they'll take this out. They didn't take it out. So I'm so i'm like hey man better book so it should be out hopefully within four to six months um super super excited about it man like super excited it's good my wife and i were reading the last chapter because they wanted to like hey we need you to want you more thoughts and emotions into this so we were reading it together and um where you weren't like fuck you don't tell me what to do oh no i was like okay cool i'll make it better sure so i'm reading it i i start crying and i'm like you got to take it like my wife was standing like right here we're looking at this the screen and she starts reading she starts crying and then

i start reading a little bit more. I start crying and we're just going back and forth as we read that we're saying it out loud to start crying, man. Like it's like, I, I, I didn't hold back. I was very honest. I was very transparent throughout. I called myself out many, many times of being a dipshit, which I was in my younger, younger years in the, in the teams and in Marines. And they kind of like the, the, the transferring over to being a Christian and following Christ and doing the right thing, parenting, um, certain addictions. Uh, I threw myself, I mean, it's, it's out there. Like, um, I don't care cause it is what it is, man. And I think. Was it the normal seal addictions, women and booze?

it is what it is man and i think was it the normal seal addictions women and booze that yeah that'd be two of a couple more like pills yeah you name it for the pride pride's a huge one um yeah so but one thing that's good about that man is i i've talked about it before on podcasts like certain things and a lot of guys have the, obviously have the same issues, but they're afraid to talk about it. So I really hope that this kind of, especially for veterans, I really hope this opens the door. I'm like, Hey man, it's okay. Like some shit goes up on that brain. But the thing is you don't have to live that way and don't live that way. Like try to go get help, whatever, whatever your issue is, if you have any issues. And you're not alone, man. You're not alone.

Because I remember times, a time, having a pistol in my hand about to do the unthinkable that I never thought I would do. And I mean, I put it down quick. But the fact that thought came in my brain, insane. So I know that that's a big deal, especially in the veteran community. So I really hope it helps a lot of people and kind of shows the power of Christ and a lot of good things, man. A lot of good stuff. We're super pumped for it, dude. Like super, super pumped. I can't stop reading it. I mean, I like, I'll read it. I start crying. I read it. I start crying.

And it gives a lot of, some of the guys I served with, cause I mean, they'll read it, I start crying. I read it, I start crying. And it gets a lot of some of the guys I served with, because, I mean, they were all phenomenal, the guys that passed, unfortunately, and just what legends they were. So definitely give credit to those guys and the amazing stuff that they did. So it's a lot of – there's some military stuff. There's parenting stuff. There's Christian stuff. There's single fatherhood stuff.

There's addiction stuff. I mean, it really has – there's fitness stuff. There's stuff's addiction stuff i mean it really has there's fitness stuff there's stuff for pretty much all walks of life in there so it's really good oh are you gonna tell me that are you gonna say it again say it again we're finding that females enjoy the book a little bit more than the males do which is kind of weird i don't because we sent it out to about 30 people uh from different you know genders and see what they did all sexist sexist sexist sexist they all they all don't do it don't do it eddie don't follow i'm not using that word gender don't follow me using that word gender we're scientists

we're scientists don't ever use that word gender it doesn't mean anything it's a bigfoot has it i it doesn't i don't even know what my gender is yes females eddie do you know what your gender is no i don't but i know my sex i got cock and balls there you go depends sometimes i play buffalo bill from uh from silence of the lambs you know the talk yes hey my five my five-year-old showed me that yesterday i'm like have you been watching too much you watch too much tv he's like hey look at this i got a vagina and he pushed that yesterday. I'm like, have you been watching too much? You watch too much TV. He's like, hey, look at this. I got a vagina.

And he pushed his penis in. I'm like, oh, geez, at five already. Yeah, I do that to my wife all the time. She's like, you're pissing me off. Let me just stop. You want to do it more? Oh, I fuck, man. What's the name of the book? Are you going to tell me?

It's Within War. Do you not want to say the name? No, it's Within War. I you not want to say the name? No, it's Within War. I just thought of the name. I almost have the name of the movie when it comes out as Within War. W-I-T-H-I-N War. Within War. Pills, Pussy, Pride.

And I'm trying to think of a word that means alcohol that starts with a P. So that way you'd have the four Ps for the movie. There you go. Tells pussy and pride and cause it's all P's, but then I just, I'm sure there's a lot more than just those. There's so much man anger. I mean, you name it, you name it. Oh, you're complicating the title of my movie.

You're complicating the title. Sorry. You pissed. You can use pissed. How's that? Yes. Um, I. You pissed. You just pissed. How's that? Yes. There's this statement that says if you're afraid of death, then you're afraid – I'm going to screw it up. But basically if you're afraid of death, you're afraid of oneself.

Or if you're afraid of oneself, you're afraid of death, meaning you never face yourself until you are willing to face your death and i as a young man wanted to um kill myself but i didn't i knew i didn't want to hurt myself and i couldn't think of how to do it you know i mean like jumping off a bridge or putting a gun in my mouth it was more i wasn't depressed i was done i was done and And I basically I found some book by Russian mathematician and he basically explained that if you want to see yourself, you could just lay perfectly still and not react to anything, not a sand flea or anything and just and just surrender. the belief of just, I would just lay there until I died. I was like, fuck, if you're done and you're really committed to this shit, then just kill yourself by just surrendering. Lay down and stay perfectly still. And at that moment, somewhere in that moment, like if you have an itch, you don't itch it. There is no you. You don't service you at all. You're hungry, you don't eat. I'm done. I'm going to die. None of that shit matters anymore. I'm singularly focused on dying.

I'm going to die. None of that shit matters anymore. I'm singularly focused on dying. And in that – and I was sober. I was completely sober. No drugs, nothing like that. And through that process – I won't go into too many details. I saw – I dipped into the unknown. I dipped into the – I think it's eternal. If you don't – now going back to what you were saying, if you don't ever entertain the idea of your own death, are you missing out on life? It's frowned upon, suicide. It's considered like a bad thing. But there's shit that I know because I dance with that thought. I embrace that thought that my peers don't know. I embrace that thought that my peers don't know. You know what I mean?

Like it's a different – it made me a different creature. Right. Are you afraid of death? Do you think you're afraid of death? Yeah, but not like other people are afraid of death. It's like there is no more – it's the same reason why it's hard's hard to offend me like they're like um do you know what i mean there's a there's an other now there's another like another um it's like i'm schizophrenic but i'm not the other part of me is just nothing it has no personality it's like if you were schizophrenic and the other thing just had

nothing do you know i mean like there's the guy who talks to himself this other part of me doesn't talk doesn't do shit. It just is. But like I don't want – it's more like to say I'm afraid of my death because I don't want to leave my kids. That's like my – Right, exactly. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not like I'm not afraid to die, but like I got some shit. Like I want to – there's a piece of me that protects my kids at all costs. Like it's – you know, like –

Like what will happen if – Yeah yeah it doesn't even have to go that far it's like i heard a sound at night now i'm gonna get my gun and if i see you in the yard you're dead only because of my kids because if it wasn't because of my kids i get my wife and go to the bar and you could rob my house because my kids are here like and that's why there has to be a giant dog here it's not even fear it's just like mitigate it's like why when i cross the street with my kids i always look back and forth 3 000 times i'm not losing my kid to some fucking random drunk guy in a car you know um but but going back to what you were saying do you think that that's important like would you trade that for anything your approach

to dying those moments is it your most? Is it one of your most valuable experiences in life? I, I, I think what's so crazy about that whole death thing is it really appreciates you being alive. Does that make any sense whatsoever? Yes. Yes. Uh, that that's, I think is probably the biggest thing that I think as like, I really appreciate life. Like there's definitely been some downs. All the audience, anyone that listened to this, there's downs. We have our valleys and we have our peaks in life. Some valleys are longer than others. Some peaks are, you know, higher than others. But yeah, but like if you kind of go back to the mindset thing, man, sorry about that,

but it really all comes down to that. If, if, if you just kind of like, that's, that's the beautiful piece is those like low levels is like, okay, how do I climb out of this? How do I get better and how do I get back up to my peak or at least on a plateau where I'm not, you know, down in the fricking shadows anymore. But I remember that death, like operating and, you know, down in the freaking shadows anymore. But I remember that death, like operating and, you know, death was definitely closer there than it is back here in Texas. It made you feel alive, like really alive. And I was the same way. I wasn't afraid to, I was actually like,

if I go out this way, I was okay with dying because it was a warrior's death. At that time of my life like i was like okay this is the way to go and i and at the same time i was very selfish on that because i wasn't thinking of my children like those guys raising up without their father uh or you know whatever relationship i was with their without their uh their significant other uh it's all it's also selfish so i mean embracing life is freaking amazing. I have the utmost respect for death. I've seen it face-to-face hundreds and hundreds of times.

Am I afraid to die personally if it's any personally? There's no outside influence? Absolutely not. I know where I'm going. I'm totally cool with it. It's fine. When you bring in the outside like my wife my children my pets uh go are your parents are your parents still alive yes they are

my my other my family members yeah i would hate it if my parents had to bury me i would fucking like i let them down that's gonna be so tough like you hear about like freaking man parents having to bury their kids all the time it's freaking horrible so yeah So I guess I'm like, I'm both ways, man. If it's just me, Eddie, personally, and I don't have any outside influences, I'm not afraid whatsoever. But at the same time, I don't shy away from doing other things because I fear death. But at the same time, I care about them so much. I want to be here as best I can to support them in doing what they want to do and be here to protect them as you just said so do you ride a bicycle I have but you don't actually my my bike's actually on the back porch for someone to or on the front porch for uh to pick it up we're selling it on Facebook

market or whatever I don't ride it anymore at all yeah what I used to ride a bike all the time like just every like every day I put a couple miles on on the bike or I would – even like before I had kids, it would be midnight, and I would just put a strap of light on and go for a 10-mile ride just to clear my mind or just whatever. And when I got kids, I don't do that. Yeah. No need to risk it. I'll ride the bike fucking in my garage. Dude, you ride on the road, man. You're asking to get nailed down the car. I'm sorry. Yeah, you are. This is our bike lane, not to the person texting and not right i'm sorry there's nothing you can

tell me that makes that safe like it's just not like i applaud you for working out i think it's great it's awesome on your joints because there's no impact for that exercise but dude you're just asking to get wiped out man you. You're just asking for it. Yeah. It's freaky. Um, do you have a few minutes here? Yeah, buddy. You're good. We're now. Okay. I kept it open this time. Like last time I like had other things. I'm good. I'm good for you. Um, uh, there's so much meat on the bone. I'd like to end with this discussion. Are you comfortable talking about extortion 17?

I can. Sure. Does that mean you're not no i'm fine with talking about it okay okay there's a whole chapter dedicated to it in the book there okay wow okay um let's go back to before we get to extortion 17 do you will there be any blowback from your peer group saying, hey, we're supposed to be silent professionals? What the fuck are you doing, Eddie? There won't be. Now, do I think that they'll have opinions in their head about like, hey, like what you just said? I'm sure there is because I was the same way when I was in the military. Yeah. But now that I'm out of the military, it's, it's different viewpoints.

Um, like when an op is done and over and nothing can be compromised and you're not even in the area of operation anymore, it really doesn't matter. Just like we see our Vietnam books come out after Vietnam, right? We, you see stuff after the fact as long as,

I mean, that's why we submit the stuff to DOD to ensure that anything you're putting on paper is okay and not going to conflict with anything that's still going on and there's nothing going on uh not talking about those guys that lost their lives is injustice to them I think they should be talked about I love talking about them they are my freaking friends plain that they still are my friend like plain and and simple. Uh, we, we have a thing, you know, never forget, never forget would be, uh, not to, I mean, to forget what to be never to talk about them and share what they did, all the good stuff they did with the rest of the world. Uh, and it inspires other people

coming up that want to be in the SEAL teams and show them, hey, man, this is reality. This is what happens for these guys' sacrifice for American people and their country. So yeah, I mean, are people going to have their opinions? Yes. Do I give a shit? Absolutely not. I do not care. That's like telling a doctor that's been working for about 50 years not to go share his wisdom with other doctors. That's stupid. You better be sharing your wisdom. You're wrong if you don't share your wisdom. So mine's obviously not more about operational, but more like life lessons and stuff like that, that I've learned along the way. But no,

people are gonna have their opinions and that's fine. I have my opinions as well. And I don't care. I really do not care. And that is a firm. I don't care. uh and i and i don't care i really do not care and that is a firm i don't care i kind of like it um now that i'm in the podcast business that when when people do come at me because sometimes i'm like shit what am i going to talk about today and someone will be like someone's racist because he said this or he's homophobic so because he said that and then amazing and then i love it i'm like oh this is great now i'm going to get to talk about it. Yes. It's amazing. But you just said homophobic. Someone was asking me, like, I was like, yeah, I don't believe in homosexuality.

I think it's wrong. I believe it's wrong. It doesn't mean that the person, the people that are engaging in whatever they're doing, it doesn't mean they're not good people. I just think what they're doing is wrong. It's like the same thing. And I use this all the time. It's like because I used to be this guy going to the bar every single day to get a buzz on wrong It's like the same thing and I use this all the time Because I used to be this guy Going to the bar every single day to get a buzz on It's not an okay thing

It doesn't make me a bad person I would still take care of my family and all that stuff I just was going through a stage Or a valley as we just said But people would be like oh you're homophobic No I just don't agree with it Do you agree with me going to drink every day? Probably not

What do you mean it's wrong? I don't agree with it do you agree with me going to drink every day probably not i mean it's like what do you what do you mean it's wrong i don't i don't agree with it i don't think two dudes or two women hooking up is the right thing to do i don't agree with it at all whatsoever give me an example of something else that's wrong like um stealing stealing is wrong i believe stealing is wrong absolutely killing someone but but like i don't not injustice it goes back to your heart dude like if i'm i'm stealing to i need your tv yeah that's wrong let me let me um go here um but but you i'll come back to this the only thing so in kindergarten i had this teacher mrs allen and um i really liked her and i used to always think about her coming home and bathing me redheaded woman i didn't know why there was nothing sexual about it it was just

what say it again i had my teacher too that i was a little obsessed with so i got it and um and i used to ask my mom questions like hey can you tell me what 12 times 12 is and then like my mom would tell me and then I'd peacock on my kindergarten teacher. Oh, Mrs. Allen, do you know 12 times 12 is 144? And she'd be like, oh, and I would ask my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was but there was nothing sexual about it. I just like I wanted her to tuck me in at night. Do you know what I mean?

Like I wanted like these things that that as a five year old. But what if I would have wanted Mr. Allen to do it? Like I didn't choose. I wasn't like – I just find it – how can you say homosexuality is wrong? Like part of me is like – Mr. Allen would be wrong if he's going to a freaking other kid's house and giving them a bath. That's where it kind of comes into – I agree. Yes. another kid's house and give him a bathe that's where it kind of comes into i agree yes but what i'm saying is is like um when i hear the word wrong i think it's like something you can fix like so for instance it's wrong to be so attached to something that it changes my moods so meaning like so the first time i uh a rock hits my windshield i get so fucking pissed i hit off

my rearview mirror and then as i become more i'm like hey that was stupid why am i letting outside objects outside of me influence my emotion and then as i mature the rock hits the window i see the anger and the time and the money it's gonna take fix it and i just let it pass i don't pass i don't argue with reality i just take some deep breaths and let it pass do you know what i mean that's like the difference between a 17 year old and your first brand new car and a 49 year old. You know what I mean? Like you're like, okay. But, but you can't do that with your sexuality. Like if I was a track, like maybe I'm thinking about it wrong, but like, how would someone beat it out of me? My attractiveness to my wife, like how how like what if you were to tell me right

now hey it's wrong to be attracted to women i would be like well how the fuck am i gonna fix that well do you know what i mean like like our school system right now i think i think a lot of stuff is taught is taught and learn for and learn experiences. I don't believe that we are brought into this world thinking like me as a boy, man, I really want another penis in my face. I don't think that's true. As I get older and older, unless I'm taught different things, I'm attracted to females. I believe that that's it. Unless I'm taught differently. And you can see that with anybody that loves sports. do i mean i was raised to love the cincinnati bingos no one in their freaking right mind wants to love the

cincinnati bingos true correct you know what i'm saying i don't know right mind likes football period okay so see what i'm saying yes yes i was taught to like football too and i untaught myself so you think that you don't think that um that there isn – the same way like I wanted to be bathed by my female – by my kindergarten teacher, you're saying that that is just kind of innate in a basic instinct in human beings like breathing or – and you're saying that it can be twisted and basically being gay if I want cock in my mouth that it was taught. I'm going to go back to like the Bible on this. God created Adam and Eve. I'm sure you've heard this. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Plain and simple, that's what it is.

Man, and then he created woman, and he created woman to be with man. There was no, hey, here's Hank over here, freaking go hook up. There was none of that. And I believe that. I hear you. I know what I mean? I hear you. I just can't see the logic in it. But there's a thing. The logic is called evilness, and it's a thing called Satan, and as soon as you believe

that, things will start making sense in this world, because that is a lot of things that you see. Like, it's homosexuality, racism, drinking, drugs drugs gambling excessively um theft we mentioned anything else we know that we know how about this even ownership i think ownership is uh just as evil as uh right lying i mean you know what i mean by ownership? Exactly. Those are all of evil, man.

For sure. One doesn't really trump the other. Someone being homosexual and me using myself as an example going out to drink every single day, they are both wrong. I don't think one is higher than the other. I think you're just wrong.

You shouldn't be doing that. That's Eddie's opinion I just well it's more than your opinion And I hear what you're You're saying correct me if I'm wrong You're saying that it's just kind of developed That hey I really just Can't help being attracted to

Well I only have my I only have my i have my own i only have my own um um um i only have my own like um basis of my attractiveness to men and women to compare to i can't get into someone else's head but like there's a cat by the way he's just gorgeous like right right right right right well my new crush is the liver king have you seen this guy oh who's this oh my goodness oh my goodness you gotta see this guy hold on by the way for the audience this is how you have a mature conversation without biting people's head off and being douchebags um the liver king this is my dude man this guy is awesome

i can't believe you don't know who this guy is that that means you don't spend enough time on social media this guy has taken this guy has taken over social media holy titan isn't he awesome dude that what a physique that guy's like legit Let me see what else I can show you. And he's come on board as a sponsor of the show. He was a friend of mine about a year ago, and I was friends with this guy and didn't know him, had never seen him. So we were telephone buddies, text buddies, social media buddies, but I had never seen a picture of him. And then all of a sudden in the last like six months, he's put on like 900,000 followers. His whole thing is that he says you should eat raw meat. And that's and that's basically what he does. just eats shit uh or not even necessarily raw i think but

just organ meat right like just shit shit loads and shit loads of organ meat right i gotta check this guy out and um and then and then he's and then he pedals this these and this is this is how i know him because i was doing the carnivore diet, and I was having some issues. And so I basically found out from him and Paul Saladino, the carnivore MD, that you need to eat organ meat. So he sells this stuff. This is just organ meat that's dried, right? And so basically that's how I – this is bone marrow. He's got like beef organs and shit anyway and then recently i reached out to him

i said hey you want to sponsor the podcast i want to do a little project uh around a crossfit event he said sure so this dude is only i follow the carnivore md by the way this guy only eats meat like yeah basically oh yeah he eats some i think he eats like some honey like he's the kind of dude who will like walk around on his property reach into like a beehive and yank out a handful of honey i mean holy holy samson yes yes dude he sleeps on he sleeps on a um uh on a um oh look here he is cleaning his teeth just with a stick um he sleeps on like wood like him and his wife just sleep on wood, like a one wood planks. Dang. And he's a crazy successful businessman too.

He's just rolling. I like him with his hat off. He looks like Zeus. Here's the, here's the thing. Going back to anything. So you see that, you see that vein on his arm,

the garden hose. Yeah. Like if I see him, I want to touch that. Yeah, the garden hose. Right. But if I see his – I probably shouldn't use his wife as an example since he's a friend of mine. But there's – what I want to do to women, like the closeness I want to get with them, I can't – I don't see it as – I don't see where it starts and where it stops. It's just something I just want to do.

And so I just think that like I can't imagine judging – maybe judging is the right word. I can't imagine if you did want to be with men intimately how you would stop that. I don't know how you would stop me from getting to a woman. I think it's where you're saying, hey, this isn't right. I would run through a door to get to a woman. It's the same thing as like I'm at Best Buy. I really want that new iPhone, but I can't afford it and me sealing it. I have a decision right there at that moment like, okay, I'm not going to do this because I don't want to sell it.

I see what you're saying. I really see what you're saying i really see what you're saying i do and i and i i think that it's based off of wounds past experiences and what you're taught and it might just be by you seeing something when you were a child you saw two dudes kissing and it intrigued you so you dove into it so you tried it with and you and you liked it. Like, oh, this guy's cool. I don't have to deal with this. I don't know.

I don't know because I don't do it. There was a guy in the CrossFit community. He owned a CrossFit gym. This is going to be really harsh. This is going to be one of those things that's going to get me in trouble. And he was – I think he was a firefighter. That's always the best stuff, dude. I think he was a firefighter, and I think everyone loved him. Like he was like just a hero.

And then it came out that he was molesting kids. And he killed himself. Okay, so let's stop right there for real quick. Yeah, yeah. So he molested kids. Would you consider that to be wrong? Yeah, yeah. I have a, it's one of the things I have a, yeah, very wrong.

Hurting kids is like you have to – like I think you have to die. So wouldn't that kind of be like he just can't help himself? He's just attracted to kids? There's that decision like this is right, this is wrong. And that's why I bring it up. That's why I bring it up. And this guy killed himself, and I actually thought – Good.

Yeah, I actually thought he was a hero. I actually kind of wanted to give him like a hug. Like thank – and it's horrible. It's the worst side of me because really, molesting kids and homosexuality and the same thing because I'm trying to draw a comparison between the two behaviors. I am not. What I'm saying is it's just another avenue to sort of draw this inexplainable desire that people have sexually to have union with people. Some people want to do it with women. That's why fucking TikTok and Instagram are crazy. Some people want to do it with dudes, and some people want to do it with women that's why fucking um tiktok and instagram are crazy some people want to do it with dudes and some people want to do it with kids but the kids one

is where like i is the one where i like like you you definitely you don't want to kill people who are gay right you just no no right yeah exactly right but i do have no tolerance for pedophiles like i really have no tolerance for them youiles. Like I really have no tolerance for them. You got the innocent out there with two people are adults and they make a decision together. That's a little bit different than a child that's kind of like being snatched up and like chained down and, you know, used and abused. There's a little bit difference in there. Both are wrong, in my opinion, still. But no. Yeah. The pedophile side that goes to uh takes people to insane levels man i wonder if you could never get rid of that shit i tell people that about um

uh i talk to people okay sorry i'm good but you're not gonna get rid of it when you got social media uh platforms censoring it true true that's never gonna happen true yeah the social media censorship is crazy insane um so um man people are getting censored who don't even like they're like there's a ufc fighter i follow called the monkey king jordan levitt he's been on the show a few times he doesn't he says nothing political like zero and he's been shadow banned i forget what it was even for it'll be like two years yeah um dave castro the guy who got fired from cross's been shadow banned i forget what it was even for it i've been shot back for like two years yeah um dave castro the guy who got fired from crossfit got shadow banned because he killed a pig it's ridiculous man and he showed that he eats the pigs he gives the pig the meat to

charity to his neighbors to friends to me who lost my he bring me to my family after i lost my job you know what i mean like what the fuck yeah the hunting thing they were starting to get rid of a lot of people that were doing any kind of hunting stuff like in guns like i had a buddy that was banned they took out his um they took out his whole instagram account because he shows guns like old guns shows him shooting nothing crazy like doesn't talk about like hey let's go kill people he didn't talk about he's just like hey this is a cool gun it feels like this it shoots this much. And then they got rid of him. It was ridiculous.

God, I hope they rip these companies apart. Oh, buddy, you and me both, my friend. You and me both. I hope they rip these. I hope that they call the monopoly thing. Okay, so Extortion 17. Can you give us – can you tell us what – that was the name of the operation, right? Correct. And it was the name of the operation right correct and it was the name of the operation because that was that also it was it was it was the uh helicopter name it was her call sign

i believe okay right and and what i know about it is that the guys were on there that um they used the wrong helicopter for the mission because there was a shortage of helicopters and that there were people on the helicopter who shouldn't have been on the helicopter or at least who weren't in the flight manifesto okay so i'll fix that piece right there okay fix all that tell the story yeah yeah tell the story i was deployed at the same time it was it was my team that we were all deployed and how many people how many people on a team? That's one thing I can't say. It's not a lot, but it's not a little. So we, we were supposed to have the birds at night.

We only had, because due to weather, we could not go out and we couldn't get the birds. When I say the bird, the helicopters, because we have certain helicopters that help out special operations. Then you have your conventional side. So what, what country are you in? Afghanistan. Okay. helicopters that help out special operations that you have your conventional side so what what country are you in afghanistan okay so they couldn't get they couldn't get them the right birds it wouldn't have enough time to complete their mission or it was whether one of the two but they could not get the correct birds and it wasn't their turn to use these birds or there wasn't enough or something there was they didn't have birds they were going to go to this target

and it was one they were looking for, and the only birds that they had were conventional ones that don't have certain capabilities as our helicopters do. So like anyone that wants to go get the job done, they're like, hey, we'll just use these. They knew what they were doing. I've done it a lot. Sometimes you just got an action on it

so they went and they got shot down by an rpg and there's conspiracy theorists uh believe that it was used to by the government to get rid of some other stuff or get eyes off of certain things that were going on i honestly don't know what what the in-depths of that is was it one of these it would have been one of those yeah because our spec ops one will have a big no um like a pointy thing sticking out that mid-air refuel and that's that's a different type so is that a pull-up bar on the side so you guys can train when you get somewhere is why do they call pull-up bars? Because you're using these muscles right here. Right, right, right.

Thank you, thank you. I don't know what that is on the side. I don't know. And how many people does a helicopter like that hold? Man, you can pack them in like sardines. I've been on there with like 50. 50? A lot of people, yeah. Probably more than that.

I've been on some that you just pack pack pack pack pack but it's got two benches on the side open floor i mean it's enough where you can put the benches up you can get zodiac boats in you can get four wheelers in you can get other small vehicles in uh it's a workhorse we call it the school bus it's the mule man it does a lot of a lot of different capabilities for a lot of different missions okay and then it got it got shot down and we lost a lot of good dudes uh a lot of good dudes uh and is there anything fishy about it from from where like i was i was watching the screen because we were it was our we couldn't go out because of the weather um so we stayed and we were watching tv and uh i think it was my team leader came in it's like hey one of the birds got

shot down because we knew the other guys that were a couple hours away were going out to do this operation so we go in to watch the the tv we call it kill tv and it's all black and white thermal uh so we can you can see what's going on. And we see a helicopter. We didn't know because there's two helicopters out that night. One had no passengers on it, just their crew. And the other had members from my team on there. And we were we were hoping, obviously, was the other helicopter like we didn't want anyone to die, like no crew pilots, of course. But obviously, you know, four or five deaths is way different than 30 something deaths um and it ended up being those guys i remember seeing the crash and looking at the tv screen and you can see like smokes coming out fire and there's just bodies out like coming

out the back side of the helicopter like dead bodies dead bodies yeah and they're all our guys and you can see like the heat because thermals pick up the heat it's white and you can just see that like whiteness kind of disappear slowly but surely as the body heat left them and uh they went back to like a grayish color and and we're like we were just and we're like we're like screw this let's get our gear let's go let's go wherever this freaking RPG came. Let's go back and kill pretty much anyone in that area. That's a bad guy. Let's get rid of him right now.

And our commanding officer wouldn't let us go. I understand now, but we were seriously, like, I know personally I was so mad. I'm like, how can our boys are there? That's our responsibility. That's our dudes. But he sent a ranger element to pick him up. And I know, and he came and talked to us afterwards. And the reason why he didn't want us to go is because the emotional –

he didn't want our last memories of those dudes to be whatever their mangled bodies were, which I respect that. But there's also a point where I'm like, hey, man, that's still our deal. That's our boys. Like, let us take care of our boys. But we didn't go. The Rangers went. They were there.

I think it was a three or four day op. Did a great job cleaning up the mess, getting all our bodies back. And then we got the bodies back to, I think it was Bagram Air Base. And I was slated to leave. No one lived? No one lived? No one lived on the helicopter. No.

No one lived. I was slated to go back a couple days? No one lived? No one lived on the helicopter. No. No one lived. I was slated to go back a couple days later, so I went back with a couple other guys back to the States with two C-17s with all their bodies. I mean, there were so many bodies that they took two huge plane C-17s for all their caskets. And before I left, I was asked by my buddy, Jason Workman, by his family, to escort him all the way back to his home in Utah, Utah. So I found his casket. He was one of like only like three or four bodies that they could uh escorted him back had to get in there to get his flag because the flags are inside the coffin to give to his parents um all that stuff so it was uh dude it sucked when you say you stayed with it what's that mean you stayed with the body like

i got back to dover um they were there for two days to do more, uh, for the corners to do their job and kind of prep them for their burial. From that time, I got time to go back to Virginia beach, to my home for one night, came back. And then I took an angel flight, what they call it, like from Dover, they take the body back to wherever their home of residence was or wherever they asked to be buried or seen a memorial service and they called angel flight so i jumped on the angel flight with another body and from a separate uh unit from an with an army guy we dropped that body and the army guy off in st louis i believe and then we carried on to utah and then put him there uh jason there and we had to wait so long because there were so many bodies that we had like memorial service, memorial service, memorial service. And then after all the memorial service was done, the bodies that requested to be buried in Arlington, all those bodies were back to Arlington to be buried there. And that was his final resting place was in Arlington. So it was about two to three weeks.

Does the family have a choice? Like they could keep him in their hometown or send them to arlington it goes off of i mean they do but it also goes up like we do we call it if i die sheets like hey i want this music played i want to be buried in this i want to be buried here so there's a lot of stuff that kind of goes into it so uh they respect that for sure but i mean they also take into it's again, situation dictates, but I'm pretty sure whatever that service member puts, that's what goes. That changes you forever.

Yeah. Yeah. It does. You don't ever go back. That's like you did too much acid one night. Like you never go back to who you were. It's just like certain images are, you know, the deal, man, certain images are just kind of fr ironed into your brain like i'll never forget

opening that casket seeing my buddy's body wrapped in the the green cloth they had it i'll never forget the his family's face yeah i'll never forget seeing that helicopter crash on the tv i'll never forget the last time i talked to him i'll never forget the dream i had a couple weeks after when I think was my goodbye When I fist bumped him on a tarmac Holy shit So there's a lot of yeah man it's uh I'm getting choked up right now yeah it's um

Yeah you don't forget that stuff and I don't want to I don't want to forget it like that That was my best friend uh along with A lot of other guys like I mean they were just that was my crew that was that was my boys and a lot of them are gone right now lost i mean their families of friends their children that's that's the shitty part so that goes back to that thing uh seeing the opposite

side where people do die and you see their family go through all this turmoil and confusion of what do we do now when now the dad's gone it's um it's heartbreaking man it is so heartbreaking do those do those if you're if you're married to someone and they die like that and you have kids do they get money from the government for the rest of their lives yeah they're pretty good i believe i'm pretty sure they're good to go if they get remarried i think some of that goes away but yeah there's some like we i think we were required to do life insurance just being at that unit we're required to do a lot of stuff just because death was it was imminent like people are dying i mean

people are dying um why weren't you on that helicopter i was with a different um squad or troop we call them so it was it was a different just different unit i mean same unit but we had like you know you broke up fire team squad platoon company and it just goes on i was in a different troop so and um prior to that happening when had you gone on were you were you, were you in dev group when that happened? That was, yeah. And, and you, how often were you going out? Were you going out every night? Uh, sure. No, it seemed like it, man. The body felt like it was, uh, it could be every other, it could be five days in a row, seven days in a row.

You can have a lot, a lot. Yes, absolutely. So when they, when they, when they went out that night, and just from talking to some of your colleagues, your peers, you guys can get anxious if you're not going out. But it wasn't like that. You weren't like – when that mission went out that night, you weren't like, oh, fuck, I wish I was on that one because you knew another one could pop up any minute or you would just come back from one. Yeah, it wasn't our area of operation. We had our own target stack that we were worried about in a different part of the country. So we had – our plate was full for sure. And it got to a point sometimes where you're kind of happy you get a night off because your body needs it.

Your back hurts. Your legs hurt. Your knees hurt. I'm carrying all that gear walking up mountains and running around like a freaking freak show. So – Man, and then – It's real, buddy. Very surreal.

Yeah. man and and then um very surreal yeah after something like that happens does is there is does everyone get like two weeks off like you guys call the bad guys you're like hey we're gonna take a break everyone take two weeks off we got uh you know the answer to that of course not like nothing no and um and the team is must be just crazy invigorated and emotional in the next several outings. Yeah, I think. Like maybe not even in a good way. Yeah, it's weird. Everyone's got their own little way to deal with what just happened. That wasn't my first time losing our guys.

Unfortunately, I've had a few before that. I remember my first one, and I didn't know what to do. I honestly didn't. what to do. I honestly didn't, you know, usually, you know, destroying the bad guy, destroying the bad guy. And you just used to destroy the bad guy. But when it's your guys getting killed, when they're right next to you, uh, some guys wouldn't sleep. Some guys would sleep. Some guys like for me, I would sleep an hour or two. I'd be up for like four or five hours, sleep for an hour or two, be up for four or five hours that lasted for a hour or two, be up for four or five hours.

That lasted for a few years. Wow. Like for a while. And then it got to the point I could sleep for a couple nights and then I'd be up for a couple nights. Like it just, it was really weird. I mean, it definitely plays us tall. Everyone deals with it differently.

Some people will sit in front of a monitor and play video games just to get their brain. Some people will stare down a bottle, which is what I did. And then the pill and then the pain, take the pills just so you could sleep because you were so fricking exhausted and you had to shut down your brain because you didn't know how to shut down the brain. I couldn't shut down the brain. I couldn't, I couldn't, I would relive when we're not drinking that one night training with them seeing them the last time woulda shoulda coulda you know you know you know the all the stuff when it comes to death man so everyone had their own little ways to deal with it I'm not gonna say some are right some are wrong

it's just it's what they did it's what they knew what to do at the time and it worked for for for us for a certain amount of time then you got to worry about yourself like okay man like i gotta i gotta accept this and i gotta move on and i gotta get healthy um that that event how long before then you were done you you were in for 20 years between the marines and being a seal yeah 20 total so that deployment was actually so the deployment before that adam brown i'm sure you've heard that name he passed which was the same troop uh and i missed that deployment because i just got custody of my children so the following is that in your book that story about the custody of your children yes that's about how you got that yeah i got i can't wait to read that that's a trip as a dude you got three kids yeah that's crazy yeah especially one from savage mode to daddy daycare yeah yeah um yeah that's like that was the hardest part that was a that's definitely a

big portion of the book but um so the next deployment was extortion and it just happened i had custody of my children at the time it happened that my kids were out of school and deployment lined up with summer break and um the deployment and summer break lined up so their mom took the kids for about 60 days so i could do a little deployment with the team so i went started training up with them while i had the kids as much as i could went on deployment i was only set to be there for like 45 60 days and then two or three days before i was going extortion happened just so that's when I came back with them but that's how that deployment worked I knew that was going to be my last

deployment oh okay because I had custody of my children and the only reason I got to go on that it's just because summer break came up and that was when our deployment was happening so for me to catch that again would have been a few years and I knew that wasn't going to happen uh so and that was my last deployment. That was my last big thing, I guess you could say was just that shit, that fricking mess. How, um, the divorce rate among seals is crazy, right? It's pretty stupid. Yeah. Like 75, 85. I'd say it's probably up there. Yeah. I don't know the exact numbers, but it's got to be up there. Yeah, it's definitely up there for sure. Maybe it's too long to answer this question, but how did you how does a dude get his kids?

I got mine. Mine came. I mean, obviously, it's going to come down to the judge. If you're my wife listening, turn this part off off i don't want you to hear this part who thinks is the better uh thing but my i was trying to get 50 50 custody yeah she was living in tennessee i she she asked to move out there because her parents were there she's like i want to go to college i want to get back on my feet which i totally respected because the kid my kids i want them to be able to look up to their mother and be like i want to be like her she's she's doing it she's kicking butt um so i did that because I was always moving. I was, I was deploying, I was on a trip. I was always gone. So I understood. And where she was moving, I did a lot of training trips out there. So it kind of worked out. I was like, okay, I can see the kids for a lot, you know, throughout the

year. But as soon as they went out there, it was like radio silence. I would call, I would text, went out there it was like radio silence i would call i would text i couldn't talk to my kids so really lawyered up on that one and got to court tried to just to get her back to do 50 50 um i said i would do one more deployment because i was slated to go on that deployment um and she you know we did a did a drug test because she painted the story she painted the story that i was like this horrible person made her do all these drugs made her drink all the time and i was like she's freaking lying so we did a drug test she popped you made her i love it and then and so the judge said okay move back to virginia she refused which i was like whoa and then the judge said go eat your kid and then just from from that i was like all and then the judge said go your kid and then just

from from that i was like all right i want full custody so we went to battle to get uh physical control of the of the kids and just like i didn't want to like go back and forth from state to state like they needed to be with somebody um for school and stuff like that and place to call home so i was hit god is that change is is does that ever is that over the the battle of that yeah yeah i got i have a very cordial relationship with uh their mother so it's it's good now yeah there's no there's no issues whatsoever god dude that sounds almost worse than war it's pretty pretty, it's damn close, bro. For sure. For sure.

It's, it's not, and a lot of it is like, there's so, man, when you go through a divorce or any breakup, there's so much emotion going on and there's very little logic and you kind of need to let things simmer down before decisions are made. And usually it takes some time, you know, sometimes it takes years. Uh, but yeah, but now it's very cordial. There's,

there's nothing weird or bad bashing. Uh, there definitely was in the beginning, but not now anymore. It's, um, like one of the worst things, uh,

one of the most, I don't know if it's like this anymore, but I just remember like losing your wallet is bad. You got to get a new driver's license. You got to call your credit card companies. And when I think of divorce and dealing with kids and fighting custody, it's like that wallet thing magnified times 10 billion. Right. Times another 10 billion.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It just, it just sounds, um, it just sounds, it just sounds like so crazy. Sounds like such a fucking headache. I can't stand lawyers. Not, not like them personally, but like just sounds like so crazy. Sounds like such a fucking headache. I can't stand lawyers. Not, not like them personally,

but like, I'm shooting off an email and this is going to cost 15 minutes of your time, which equals 125 bucks. Like it sucks. Yeah. That stuff adds up. And all I want to do is brush my kid's teeth and put them in bed. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. And people that decide to battle it out and battle it out and battle out the only thing that they both accomplish at the end is they're going to pay a lot of money usually i mean a lot of the stuff is like you know what's going to happen and you're just wasting money um i'm trying to screw the other person over my mom was a divorce lawyer with and it was in the bay area a ton of rich people out of Danville, Pleasanton, Blackhawk, that whole area. Really rich people.

And she would have story after story where she would have clients and she would be like, you need to just accept this. Take the $50,000 loss on the house and don't try to fight this. And they'd be like, no, I want to fight it. And it would end up costing them $250,000 to win the $50,000 back. Yeah. Well done000 back. Yeah. Well done. Yes. Yes.

The insanity. All because they went that pride. Like I'll be dead. Yes. Yes. Come on, man. You're going to forget about it in like three months. Yes.

My dad was a landlord. One of his tenants was fucking him and basically said, hey, you have to give me this money back. And it would have cost my dad like twelve thousand bucks. And my dad should have done it. And then first chance he got evicted them, you know, when the when the thing was up and my dad fought it and it took away like hey man like you should have swallowed you know what i mean like it's not um it's kind of like uh you someone crosses the street and they have the right away but you get hit by a car and now are in a wheelchair the rest of your life hey fuck not was it really worth being right like you have 800 now you have three million dollars and you're in a wheelchair and the court proved you right you had had the right of way, but you lost your legs. Yeah, that's not – yeah. Fuck you. I'd rather – I'd like to write you on a road. Yeah, I'd rather be – you drove by.

You got a puddle. You splashed me with a puddle of water. You hurt my pride. You embarrassed my family, but I still get to keep my legs. Exactly. Good to go. Yeah. Good to go.

I heard legs are important. This final question, because I think I'm going to have you back. I'm going to definitely invite you back when the book comes out is there any chance already that you would think that the book could be a movie there has been talk about that I think it will

our agent is pretty she thinks so I mean we'll see if it does I'm all about it only. And again, I want, I want this to be very clear. It is about to help people and it is about to show the power of Christ. So there's 100% that, that is, that is the main goal of this book and not realizing as I went through my years of life, um, a lot of stuff transpired that obviously didn't know about but i think a lot of it could help a lot of people especially military guys spouses of military or just

people that are going through some shit i mean so the movie is about basically um about finding jesus christ and it's saving your life changing your life that that's that's a premise for sure i mean there's there's there's so like i, there's so much into it, like fatherhood, parenthood, military, Christ. A lot of stuff. Addiction. A lot of crap. Like I said, man, I didn't hold back. I didn't hold back.

Yeah, that's interesting. Okay, I can't wait to read the book and ask you because that's going to be the premise of our next podcast. I can't believe you really said this, Eddie. Holy shit. I can't believe you really said this, Eddie. Holy shit. I can't believe you said this. Thank you very much for coming on. Anyone who wants to find Eddie, you can find him on Instagram.

You want to learn more about Contingent Group. He's doing a lot of cool shit. He's got a – there's something else you're doing that we talked about last time. I want to make sure I mention it. The Unafraid Mindset. Oh mindset oh yeah that's my baby um and until next time thank you very much and thanks for uh i i know it's a lot to bring up your past and i appreciate it i appreciate you letting me me dig around in your brain a little bit dude it is all good i appreciate being on this i love the transparency keeping it real, having mature conversations about the topics that people don't want to talk

about. I think there needs to be more of that. You do a great job of that. So kudos to you and don't stop. Do not stop. Guys, tonight at six o'clock, I'll be doing a live call-in show. Yes, I am going to bring up the firing of Dave again. It's something that I'm processing and I'm going to have a whole list of just

crazy shit to talk to you guys about. I'll see you guys at 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.