The Sevan Podcast - #363 - Email Of The Day is Coming
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Josie's on a vacation far away. I don't want to lose your love tonight.
I don't want to lose your love tonight.
I ain't got many friends left to talk to.
No answer, open up and travel.
Man. Man.
Man What is wrong with me?
I'm so sensitive
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Great song
Copyright strike in the first second.
I love you,
Will.
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Will.
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Curve around
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So many
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Why?
Why am I such a sensitive little man?
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Hey, Susan, what's up, dude?
Good morning.
Good, good.
Are you just saying that because, you know, I just woke up about 15 minutes ago?
No, but I was...
I'm tan now.
Let me see.
Oh, yeah, it's nice.
I wore a college...
Yeah, that's nice.
Wow, you did get tan.
I wore a college shirt this morning.
I wanted to, like, be a little more, I don't know, have my shit together.
And then I saw my wife pulled this shirt out of the wash.
Can you believe I only have one of these?
I am getting Colton Mertner's shirt, yeah.
I'm sending one to, don't tell Hiller because he was criticizing Christian Harris for it.
But I'm sending one to Taylor and Colton. I'd send one to Hopper too, but I think
he's an owned man by the organization. I think he's a Nike athlete. And Nike is an organization
that hires, fires, treats people based on the color of their skin, whose
genitalia they want in your mouth, all the hatred stuff that is not good for society.
I'm hating on Hopper for being with them.
You know, whatever.
You do you.
Number 40. Return is the movement of the dow yielding is the way of the dow
all things are born of being being is born of non-being
seven podcast sponsored athletes i don't know about sponsored athletes
no i'm keeping most of the money myself i just think it'd be cool. I just, I'm honored that they would wear the shirt. I'm keeping the money myself though. If I ever get like money, it's going to go to, um, like, uh, Will and Caleb and Matt.
In that order.
I'm a, uh, Oh, I'm so excited guys. We're going to start it. Um,
we got, we got a sponsor. I'll tell you more about it later, but we're going to, um, our sponsors basically,
and we'll have Caleb and Matt don't get any of this money.
We're going to use the sponsorship money to start an email of the day and it
is going to be cool. So basically to go sign up right now.
Yeah. So you go to sign up right now. Yeah.
So you go to that funny picture of me and then you can type in your email.
I'll be pushing the shit out of this,
but basically we're doing email of the day.
Like the email of the day I started when I was at CrossFit and I,
basically the,
um,
uh,
LaFranco morning chalk up started with like an email of the day.
Right.
And I wanted to buy that.
And then Greg and I met LaFranco and we were like, this guy's no.
So then we started our own and it was amazing.
And then it got taken over by the new CEO and Greg and they both, they ruined it.
Ruined it.
But it was great.
I think we had like 400,000 subscribers or something.
It was dope.
But we're going to start one and I think you guys will be stoked. Travis, I, you know, what happened is we were going down this road. Anytime like someone starts asking me too many questions in my DMS, I have to look away because I get overwhelmed. Or like if someone sends me a video in my DMS, the link to YouTube, I get overwhelmed because I'm not in my, I don't use my phone like that. I just use it to kind of, um, is the sponsor a hot male?
I can't believe Will knows who hot male is.
Um, this morning, this morning, I'm a,
I'm a little embarrassed to start the show like this, uh,
only because it's like being at my own birthday party and eating the biggest
piece of cake and then going back for seconds.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Say that again?
There's nothing wrong with that.
There was an article put out by the games team celebrating the women who work at CrossFit.
And in the article, they were talking about 13 of the 17 people on the games media team are women. There's so much to say here. First of all,
man, this is hard to say.
If I was an affiliate, I would stop being an affiliate.
I would no longer me personally ever give another cent to CrossFit HQ.
Never, ever, ever, ever. I wouldn't sign up for the open again. I would no longer me personally ever give another cent to CrossFit HQ. Never, ever,
ever, ever. I wouldn't sign up for the open again. I would, um, I would stop. You are now by just by
how you can see the CrossFit games is, is treating things. You, you have to stop. You'd, I'd have to
stop. You don't have to stop. You can do what you want. There was a statement that said, um,
I cannot even believe they say this about a competition.
You could not say this about anything.
You could not.
Let me ask you, Matt, could you run an affiliate the way CrossFit HQ runs?
Honestly, tell me.
No.
Not even anybody in charge.
Who's in charge?
Could you run your affiliate by saying stuff to the members like well we're
pretty certain we didn't charge your credit card this month it's unlikely it's unlikely that and
i don't even care about the games you have to understand like i don't care i i i'm in the boat
i don't care if as long as justin madaris is in there and i'm gonna get to see him go against
noel olson i'm good like i that – like for me, that's enough.
But if I'm one of the people – but I didn't pay $20 to be a part of that complete train wreck.
You have to go see that video that Andrew Hiller made.
It's nuts.
You can even tell it's taken a little bit of the wind out of his sail.
Like he doesn't even want to be doing it.
It's the one – he made a Rich Froney one. It's the wind out of his sail. Like he doesn't even want to be doing it. It's,
it's the one he,
he made a rich phony one.
It's the one right before that one.
I don't,
I don't know what's going on over there, but it's not just that it's everything.
It's,
it's the,
it's the endless,
it's the endless lies,
misdirection,
gibberish.
Yes. Dave did is doing more for the affiliates than CrossFit. Of course,
of course, dropping into gyms. Of course, of course. I'll pat myself on the back for that too.
I'm doing more for the L1 sales than anyone on their entire 17-person media team or whatever they call that thing. We would have never made a video about the women on our team. You have to remember the very first person who started the media team was
a woman. And we would have never have done that because we would have used those resources to
make a video supporting affiliates. Imagine, this is going to be a crass example but imagine getting into bed
with your mate and instead of them loving on you they just went into the side of the bed and
jerked off that's what hq did with that video they are the most selfish confused organization
that's ever been on that's like um it's mind-boggling to me you're making a video why
didn't you use that money to make a video about some woman who's doing something great in the
community and don't even mention that it's because she's a woman you betray yourself every time you
do that there's a woman on that team that i used to work very closely with. Her name's Lillian Fuentes.
She sent me a DM on Instagram.
I might screw this story up.
Anyone can ask her.
I should call her sometime and find out if this is exactly the story.
But she DMed me on Instagram.
She said, hey, I want to help with the regionals.
I was in Southern California.
I said, okay, what do you got?
She goes, I got a camera.
I said, all right, come down.
And me and her and my 14-year-old nephew and my buddy who's the captain of the Santa Maria Fire Department, that might not be true, but close enough.
Asian glow.
This Asian guy who called himself Asian glow.
Cause when he drank,
he glowed.
I asked him, why is your name?
He goes,
cause when I drink alcohol,
I started to glow.
My wife,
Haley,
that ragtag crew,
we would film the behind the scenes that year. And those videos
became the most viewed by minutes videos in the history of CrossFit Inc by minutes by minutes.
And that sort of became a, I thought I was going to still be doing it today, to be honest. And I
did that, I don't know, for five years, but Lillian just came on board and all she, she didn't know
what the hell she was doing. And as I, as I got to know her more and
I flew her out every regional, I would keep dragging her along. She had no experience,
but she'd be there at seven in the morning when I told her to get there. And she would be the last
one to leave with me at nine o'clock at night. And if you ask her, did I ever refer to her as,
and I think she's Mexican or native American, she's something, and she's a preacher's daughter,
and if you ask her, was there anyone you ever saw who worked harder at CrossFit HQ than someone,
she'd be like, no. Was there anyone who gave you more opportunity at CrossFit HQ than someone? No.
Did you ever see him do anything inappropriate or make anyone feel awkward?
No.
The only criticism she might have is she might say I was very crass.
Very crass, as you guys know.
My mom doesn't like that.
And I actually tried to be less crass because I knew she was a preacher's daughter.
She lived at home with her parents.
And I think it's fast and now she's amazing her work's amazing but she cut her teeth just
me just dragging her from regional to regional regional she was all man that girl could grind
never complained she'll tell you i treated everyone equal. The 14-year-old boy, her, everyone.
One time I think I went out to dinner and I was hanging out with her.
We were finishing up and I said, hey, I'm going to dinner with Greg and Dave.
You want to come?
And she goes, yeah, of course.
She's like, but my, I think her cousin or her friend, someone was visiting.
And I'm like, I'll bring them too.
I went out to dinner the irony is that i'm criticizing them for jerking off as i sit up here and jerk off in front of you
but i never i never thought i i almost feel like she's being diminished being lumped up by
with you women she's not she's being diminished, being lumped up with you women.
She transcends woman.
She's a person of the highest caliber, entrepreneur, go-getter.
She dove into the deep end.
She won't tell you that there's anyone who didn't push her harder or was more generous to her than me. I mean, I'm making that up.
So I'd love for her to like come out and make a video and be like,
now he's a fucking asshole. He's lying.
Couldn't keep his hands off me.
You guys are nuts over there. You guys are bat shit crazy.
If I'm an affiliate, I don't give you guys another fucking dime.
I de-affiliate tomorrow.
What year was the behind the scenes?
It was all of them.
She started, she was in all, she, once she came, I mean,
she became an invaluable part of my team.
She just, she, she was just a walk- on with no experience, had an old ass Sony camera
and just started grinding.
I think the second year she was there, I was like, Hey, I'm going to get you the very best.
Um, uh, I don't even think she'd ever edited.
And I bought her the very best Apple laptop money could buy.
It's probably like six or $7,000.
And within six months she was cranking out videos like no tomorrow.
Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry sorry yeah sorry sorry alan you're right it's crazy town banana pants over there
all that that team was so in love with each other the 14 year old, my nephew, Lillian, Chad Winterstrom, Gary Roberts.
We were crazy.
We were wild.
We grinded.
We got to the games a week early, 7 a.m. to midnight.
5 a.m., really, because that's when Dave would want to meet.
No one ever complained.
Everyone treated everyone like they were equals.
These other people in this space, these other podcasters,
these Tommy and Shawnies,
this Sean Woodland thinks it's okay to go on to the meme guy's Instagram account
and say something about a tinfoil hat.
He thinks that's cute.
Was it a sponsor recommendation?
Yeah, it is actually.
It's actually pretty good.
It's pretty funny.
I appreciate it.
Maybe I'll go easy.
I was at the beach yesterday. susan and i had a meeting
i need a lot of roman meetings so to susan we need a lot
our creative juices get flowy no no one believes that tommy and shawnee are doing
their podcast in the whoop studios like shawnee says hi i'm in i'm in the whoop studios fly from
the whoop studios from the beginning to the end it's all just fucking bullshit just like espn
it's just play time it's just it's just props and um smoke and mirrors and um and facades
and the people who sponsor all of these people you people like rogue or the whoopers
or the just all others what's funny is is that you guys all watch this show and yet and yet no
one wants to get on no one wants to get on because you're scared but this show would actually move
the needle if i wore the whoop it would sell a lot more whoops than a fucking Shawnee or Tommy did. And I would be honest about it.
I'd be honest about it from the beginning to the end.
It wouldn't be from whoop studio.
It'd be from seven fucking office where he has a bunch of shit he can't get rid of because he's attached to it.
Your whoop box would be right there next to that bag of wheat
i never told brian to say that this is a the most amazing brush ever
he could have said hey we have those at our gym and they suck i don't care but he did say that
no no no one who's watching and i apologize for tommy and shine for picking on you guys i don't even mean it to pick on just as like as an example or whoop or rogue it's just it's just
and i don't care that you guys don't sponsor me
i'm just embarrassed for for all of you guys everyone knows where the real shit is you guys
are not the real shit.
CrossFit HQ doing an article jerking off on the women of CrossFit instead of making
a video that supports a woman and affiliate is not
the real deal.
It's not how
enlightened people operate.
Who comes up with those ideas?
We don't even know.
Whose idea
is it?
The real tinfoil hat is that say that again susan i just i just don't know how the pecking order goes you know like who's in charge they have 16
year olds it's they have hey and emily that girl emily hearns i'd like to hear your story about how
you made it to the top i just told you how lillian fuentes did hers how did you get to the top
who did you work under? What did you do?
Give me the details.
I'm calling.
I put up our call in number.
But write an article.
That one I'd like to know.
I'd like to know how Emily Hearns made it to the top.
How did you do it?
Who did you know?
Who did you work with?
Tell me.
Because lots of people, lots and lots of people have stories
i'd love to hear your story emily hearns of how you made it to the top
you own an affiliate and the head of the marketing department at crossfit hq is a lady who come from
ways ways is an app in silicon valley that, like teaches you how to like take shortcuts to get to where you want to go
in case there's traffic,
right?
It picks the route.
That's the fastest,
I guess.
I don't use the app.
I think,
uh,
Google does it now also.
I think they have that.
I think,
I think everyone has it now.
Would you rather have her running the media department or would you rather have me i would
say that i've made more movies and films for crossfit hq than the entire about girls
about women about people with vaginas than the entire media team there combined
take all the videos that those great women have made
about women, and I'll put them up against my library
that I've made about women in CrossFit.
Who do you think's made more?
I want to take all the videos you've made,
and we'll let the DEI council pick the categories,
the racist and sexist and homophobic categories
that you guys live and die by,
that you purvey, that you push out.
Well, that you pick the categories.
Gay people.
Who made more?
The current team, all combined, or Sebon?
Black people or the current team?
Did Sebon make more about black athletes or did the current team combine?
I'll go against all of them combined.
Why would you want the Waze lady to be your CMO? why wouldn't they choose me i bet you i did i
bet you i'm not now but i bet you i would have done it for half the price of her
it's crazy right it's crazy and you pay your affiliate fees to them. I've been to a hundred L ones.
I'm being very conservative.
I've been to a hundred level ones.
Would you rather have the preacher or the pastor of your church have read the Bible 100 times or come from ways?
It's the exact same thing how many people in the dei council have lived in africa
or lived in san francisco i'd like to know i'd like to know i to to claim that you know anything
about black skinned people and have never lived in Africa is to claim that you know about birds.
And this includes black people.
Yes, I'm talking to you.
It's to claim that you know birds, but you've only seen ostriches and penguins.
Because the black culture in the United States is nothing like the black culture in Africa.
Zero.
Except that they're people.
And that they have melanated skin
guess who's lived in africa for months and months and been all over africa
i'll do the media team and the di council i'll run both
let's do who's been to more gay pride parades anyone on the on the um on the di council or me
on the DEI council or me?
I'm waiting.
Who's been to more love parades?
Who's been to more bars on Polk Street?
Who's been to more gay clubs on the sunset?
You guys are tools.
You're a facade.
Everything I've been telling you is a facade.
Stop giving, it's time.
I can't do it anymore.
I can't be like, oh yeah, there's hope.
There's hope, but it's not with them.
I don't know if hope's the right word.
You don't even need hope.
Everything's great.
You're amazing.
They're lying to you and they're hiring more people.
My mom does CF, she's 79. My mom does CrossFit and she's 79. How many people over there have moms over there that are doing CrossFit who are 79? I also have kids, two kids
that are five and seven that are doing CrossFit. I walk the walk. Okay, I'm waiting. Me or who do
you want as your CEO over there? Yeah, why am I even talking?
They don't even have a CEO over there.
I can be chief marketing officer.
I'll run the DEI council and I'll be CEO.
And the truth is, as good as I am,
and as true as I am,
I'm still not even as good as Nicole Carroll.
I'm not. I hide behind this microphone.
She speaks in front of thousands. Not a problem for her. I told my wife last night as I was rehearsing this, walking around the house, house as rehearsing it, I said, I care more
about the average CrossFitter than fucking anyone on the planet. And she goes, you can't say that
you don't know everyone on the planet. Okay. All right. Fine. I won't say it,
but anyone who knows me, whether it be the people, anyone who knows me,
anyone who, who works with me knows that that's, that, that, that I'm just like crazy passionate.
I'm crazy kind. I crazy believe in people.
Stop giving your money to those people, man. It's done. Stop. Take your L1, get out,
change the name of your gym it's a joke
someone else start something else up maybe this email the day i'm starting up is going to start
turn into something who knows but it's time it's it's it they there's it would be so easy to find
a c it would be so easy to just to make nicole carroll ceo be so easy to find someone who's
better than everyone there who's doing stuff they They're fooling around. I mean, that, that gains thing that they did is so
indicative of the douchebaggery going on there. And then, and then, and then this, this note that
comes out from the games that they're pretty certain, what was the exact word? I have it
quoted somewhere. You just have to watch the Hiller video. You can't say, um, sir, we think
we fit. You don't go to the mechanic and they give
your car back and they go we're pretty sure that um we got your car fixed matt souza cannot say
that to his affiliate to his affiliate we're pretty sure the back squat safe go ahead and
get some out some reps out you can't do that you can't run a business like that
do you know why it sucked working for Greg and Dave and Nicole?
Because they were perfectionists.
Yeah, this thing.
That was hilarious, wasn't it?
That was hilarious.
What they're doing though now, if they hang in there long enough,
what they're doing is they're attracting more like-minded people.
So what they're doing is they're attracting more attracting more like-minded people. So what they're doing is, is they're attracting more superficial people who
can't get into the weeds. People who can't say, Hey, um, uh, if you only know blacks in the United
States, it's like only knowing, um, ostriches and penguins. If you don't, if you don't know
blacks in Africa, but that's how different the cultures are. They don't, they're going to just
keep attracting more and more narrow-minded people.
It's a mess.
It's a mess.
I was going to be like, it's so sad.
I'm not really sad about it, though.
That would be disingenuous.
I'm actually excited about it.
I'm passionate about it because it gave me something to talk about this morning. I thought I saw TDC's name in it. I'm passionate about it because it gave me something to talk about this morning.
I thought I saw TDC's name in it. Maybe TDC's last stop on his business trip is at 7.
No. I went to Dave's house the other day, though.
I went to
Dave's house the other day.
I took my kids over there.
I barely saw Dave.
We swam in his pool.
You got to go to your baller's friend's houses.
I wonder what the board meetings
are like there at CrossFit.
Home Office Depot.
What do you think they talk about?
What metrics are they looking at?
They're so confused, dude.
There was a – yeah, I agree.
Yes, yes.
I totally agree. I agree with you,
Corey, Tommy, and Shawnee. Chuck Carzo would also be acceptable for sure. For sure. Chuck,
the thing is, is that there's people over there who know so much, like Chuck could run the media
team too. He could run the training team. He could be CEO. He could probably, he could, he,
with a, you know, six month course, he could probably be CFO. He could be operations officer. He could learn all that. Yeah, there's some incredibly smart people there who are tuned in, who are at the,
they're mature as shit now, who've seen it all.
I want to hear that song again I'm so tempted
If you play it now it'll be harder to cut out
After our copyright strike
Thank you
Although I liked it
I liked the start with a song
You know
Yeah
Boring podcast yeah boring podcast lots of people ask what i would do about my affiliate and the funny thing is is like
we stuck around for another year to see what was going to happen and ever since then it was like
it's like you know when you're out at the card table and you've already started to lose money
but in the back of your mind you're like hold, hold on, let's not walk away. Let me just pull out another hundred bucks.
We're getting it back together.
And then you make two bets and then that's gone.
And you're like, shit, we should have walked away.
We had the chance.
Like the interesting thing is like it still has brand power, right?
So this was a discussion that we were having with the coaches
when we were actually considering not reaffiliating.
And we said, well, let's look at the Google searches.
Because if you go to Google's, let's look at the Google searches.
Because if you go to Google's, I think it's googlestrends.com
or Google's backslash trend,
you could search locally in your area
what people are searching for.
And we typed in CrossFit, Livermore, CrossFit,
gyms, gyms near me,
and saw all the different searches
that pertain to the area.
There was still a high enough search
with people typing in CrossFit near me
that we didn't want to give up the market share
to the other CrossFit gyms. Because some of those people have no idea what CrossFit's about,
but they just hear it for whatever, around friends, family. And so then they just type it in.
And so the question then becomes though, as an affiliate owner is, is how, how much longer
will that brand power last? And is it even going to be worth paying for it? Because at one point,
like Bikram Yoga and all those other things like Pilates, you had to pay some sort of licensing fee. And then as the
company stopped protecting those names, pretty much anybody can do it. We can be a Bikram Yoga,
we could offer Pilates and we don't have to pay anybody. So if they're having a hard time really
keeping the corral around people using the name and not paying for it at some point it goes
away in every gym including a 24-hour fitness style could offer a crossfit space and legally
they can't do anything about it once that happens the whole thing falls apart so i wonder how
they're protecting that and what their plans are to keep keep that brand power if there's any at all that's a great question that was that was
that was that was a huge uh a point for uh greg by the way and all of us over there at all times
to make sure that like hey we were keeping our buy on the ball with the trademark you know uh
watkins says first of all someone up here says does dave smoke weed with you i don't think dave's
ever done any drugs to be honest zero i don't think he smoked weed chewed nicotine any of that um i do not smoke weed i haven't smoked weed in 20 years
it just cracks me up you can tell because that bag is the same size every show
i'm gonna bring in another bag i'm gonna start taking a nug out and throwing it in the yard
i do like the smell of it though i don't smoke weed i don't do any of this stuff
it's gotta be super dry could you just squish it it'll turn into dust now or what no not that not that
bad but but it's getting close put a little lettuce in there i told you i tried to give it
to a delivery guy that bag to a delivery guy right who helped me carry the uh salt runner in the house
yeah and he's like dude what if i get caught i'm like what if what if, um, I, yeah, I don't do smoke weed. Um, there's this,
uh, uh, uh, Jason Watkins fires, the CEO, no replacement. You know what that makes me think
of is, is when, uh, Greg and the CEO at the time turned off, uh, Facebook and, um, Instagram on
CrossFit Inc and our revenue dropped 30% in one day. It's like going out to sea and sinking your boat and not having a plan B.
It's like, wait a minute. It's just such idiocy. No, no, Siobhan, people fire their CEOs all the
time. It's not a big deal. And their brand ambassador and the guy who runs the games and
who has their hands in every single nook and cranny in the company, Dave Castro. No, you don't fire both those dudes at the end and not have a plan B. Dude, it's...
What a kill streak.
I want to say idiot or moron, and I'm hearing
my wife say don't call him that or fucking
idiot.
Or retard.
I'm trying to think of another word. It starts with a B.
I'm trying to think of something fresh it starts with a b um trying to think about something fresh
it's beyond comprehension no one would ever do that you wouldn't raise your kids in a house with
those with parallels to what they did to hq you wouldn't do that if you ran a business uh a crossfit
gym you wouldn't do it if you ran a 7-eleven it's almost like someone there boy huh this is
interesting i never thought this before it's like almost like someone there like on purpose is trying
to sink the ship is is trying to kill it.
It's like what you would do to try to kill an animal, chop off its foot, cut its tongue in half. I mean, it's nuts.
But I don't think something like that is happening, by the way. I don't think that because I saw us do equally stupid shit when I was there towards the end.
don't think that because i saw us do equally stupid shit when i was there towards the end i i really wish i also was in that meeting before uh they jeff king cut off the facebook and
instagram yeah what about that say that again sorry like before you get was it one of these like
you know what i got an idea let's just fucking shut it down man yeah yeah shut it down like who
who is like oh yeah that's that'll work um let's just completely
limit our exposure on social media and take away our ability to control the narrative and we'll
get a grow crazy hey instead of doing this podcast on youtube what if we just hang out in your front
yard but we'll invite everybody but we just won't have it on YouTube anymore.
We'll just talk there.
Dear CrossFit affiliates, why would you
still pay the money to the mothership?
Oh, so you can pay.
They can tell you that they're giving you a discount
on FitAid, but you can still find it cheaper online
somewhere. Oh,
so when you buy stuff from Rogue,
CrossFit HQ actually gets money.
You don't get a discount. I mean, come on, guys.
Oh, so that the kids there, so that the kids there,
so Emily Hearns there can make videos and articles jerking off the team there.
There's another woman there.
She lives in my area.
I want to try to remember her name.
She's the director of all the live streams.
She's been there forever, too. I see her at the beach all the time or i used to her and her
husband are cool as shit her husband's an insane photographer somebody the comments insane like
someone i'm actually jealous of what someone in the comments said they saw us at the beach i don't
know if that was true or not oh from twitch she's on his forum yeah my forums i have good forums
hey majority of the people that i
talked to kept the um
kept their crossfit affiliate for the same
reason you keep all that old old stuff behind
you say that again
what one more time a lot of people that i talked to
that kept the crossfit affiliate
crossfit it's the same reason why you're keeping all that
old stuff behind you
they just can't let it go
ah fuck you a lot of that old stuff behind you they just can't let it go ah
fuck you a lot of people just think like you know oh it's maybe it'll come back or we're the
community and if we let it go then the whole thing falls falls apart and you know there is some truth
to that but is it three thousand dollars worth? You know, can you just call yourself CrossFit and not pay it?
Um, good. Yeah. Good. Okay.
Um, let's go to, let me see if I have any beaver here.
Any, any hot beaver in the, uh, morning, uh, more, uh,
Oh, okay. I'm gonna go here
I'll do this
I just want to share this with you guys
because this was important I can't remember if my wife
said this to me someone said this to me the other day
but when your parents are alive
you might wish they behaved different
but when your parents are dead you'll wish you
behaved different pretend your parents are dead, you'll wish you behaved different.
Oh, shit.
Pretend your parents are dead.
I'm going to read that one more time to you.
When your parents are alive, you might wish they behaved different.
Damn, this cuts deep in me.
When your parents are alive, you might wish they behaved different.
When they're dead, you will wish you behaved different.
Pretend your parents are dead. I love you they behave different. When they're dead, you will wish you behave different.
Pretend your parents are dead.
I love you, mom.
I love you, dad.
I love you, Heidi.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
I have felt my tear ducts turn on.
You know, that's such a weird feeling when your tear ducts turn on.
Do you know that feeling?
It feels like tear ducts on.
What? Why? I'm in the middle of a show what are you doing just suppress it it's your alpha yeah
it's like a transformer it starts to turn into a car like at a bad time it's like wait no that's
not now's not the time we're not driving away um we have to be nice to police officers and
firefighters we have to we have to every time we see them, wave to them. Be a child again.
Say thank you to them.
You have to be kind to them.
We have a partnership with these people.
You have to be nice to your postal service person.
Be nice to all the public servants.
We have to be great citizens.
We cannot expect more from them that we are not giving to them.
We have to
individually recharge and
revitalize society.
Each of us has to do that every time we leave the house.
We have to. It's the way it
works, especially if you have kids.
Have them wave to the police.
If you see a policeman somewhere, go have your kids go over
and shake their hands, say hi to them, all that shit.
Oh, I just saw someone called on the
phone. Oh, really?
Yeah, it was the same guy who always calls.
I like it.
We'll put this comment about the $3,000 a year
if you only need to bring in two members.
That is, part of that's true,
but the other part is then you have to assume
that they're going to stay with you
for the whole entire year.
So this doesn't account for churn rate
or anything like that.
So you would have to say that because of CrossFit, them searching it,
they came into your gym, bought a membership and then stayed the whole entire year with you.
But look what he says. It seems like a great deal, but to what end? What if you use that
$3,000 and invested it in Bitcoin? What if you use that $3,000 and made videos about your current
clients so that you could get retention? What if you use that $3,000 to get new clients? What if you used that $3,000 and made videos about your current clients so that you could get retention?
What if you used that $3,000 to get new clients?
What if you used that $3,000 to buy new equipment?
What if you used that $3,000 to hire someone to keep your bathroom clean every single night?
What if – it's so interesting to me too.
It's another – it's a whole other show. No, but yeah, those are all good points, but then also too will –
And you're also supporting something that's bad.
It's the reason why it's so hilarious.
I can't believe how anyone watches the NFL or the NBA anymore.
It would be like – to me, it's like buying chocolate bars from the Nazi party.
Like why would you do that?
Why would you do that?
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hi.
Just got out of the shower.
What do you need?
I'll just call him in.
Yeah.
And what's up?
I thought you guys had a live show.
Just like, hey, no one ever calls that show.
I'll fucking throw them the fucking bone.
Well, I called them the other night, and it made me super anxious,
so I figured I'd do it again because it just challenged myself, you know?
Yeah, I like that. I do that too. Do you do public speaking, Justin?
I'm a CrossFit coach. I'm an affiliate owner.
So I public speak, I guess, every day to some degree.
Isn't that weird?
And that's way more stressful than like just calling it to some podunk
internet show.
Yeah. For some reason, knowing that it's live, it just like right now I'm like, my voice is rattly. I don't know why.
Like having sex with the lights on.
With somebody new.
Yeah. Someone new.
I don't, I don't, I don't really know you. I mean, I listen to the show.
Someone new. I have no idea what that's like. Someone new. I don't really know you. I mean, I listen to the show. Someone new.
I have no idea what that's like, someone new.
I can't even remember that.
Someone new.
I tell my wife that if she died, I would become a monk.
I have no...
I thought...
I don't know how dudes do that.
I don't know how anyone cheats on their wife for a bunch of reasons,
but that's definitely one of the ones that's on the list.
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Like, you're not my wife.
How long would your next courtship take?
15 years?
Probably.
No, 30 seconds.
Pornhub.com.
Hey, do you watch UFC, Justin?
Not.
I'm not really really chat about it.
What do you think about spending $3,000 a year for this organization that hires people based on their skin color,
that thinks it's okay to not take the games seriously, that makes videos,
instead of making videos about women in the community, they jerk off the women who work there.
What do you think? I mean, I could go
on and on. How do you part
with that cash? You and Sousa call
each other and cry together and you write
your checks together. Matt, I can't
help you for writing another check.
And you guys kiss each other and hold each
other in the cold shower. How do you do it,
Justin? I feel okay.
Well, I think that $3,000 is pretty minimal
in terms of what CrossFit's done for me, the methodology.
But do you own an affiliate?
Yeah, he does.
Yep.
Yeah, Salty Hive, CrossFit, Salt Lake City, Utah.
I call them if you're at this ranking show.
Hey, I agree with that.
You paid $1,000 for that.
I agree.
I think it's cool to give CrossFit all the credit in the world
for it, but to put your name up on
the building when they're spending their money to do
stuff that's bad, it's nuts to me.
Nothing that they're doing now
has integrity, love,
light, honesty um sincerity you do you know do you know sorry justin i know i asked you a question that i'm going off my wife told me to
stop doing this to people but um the reason why they are talking about all of these things is
because they have to learn it themselves like we were never like oh my god lauren's the female
media director oh Oh my God,
Jamie budding. Oh my God. Haley Parlin. Oh my God. Um, we even had girls there who were like,
like really proud to be like women filmmakers. You know what I mean? And I was kind of like
embarrassed for them. Like, dude, transcend that shit. You're a fucking filmmaker.
And, but, but I got it. It's part of the evolution. It was okay. I didn't, I didn't,
I didn't, um, mind it, but it shouldn't be forward-facing.
But the reason why it is is because they're working on it.
It's their insecurity.
They see it.
They're projecting it.
They're carrying it around with them.
And we didn't talk about that at CrossFit.
That article started, CrossFit's always been about diversity and equity in women.
No, it has not.
That's only from your perspective because you look at the world like
this because you're sexist that's okay i mean it's part of an evolution maybe i was at some point too
but but but i'm not anymore and i just wish that it's not who you want running the business to be
doing that that's like you don't you don't they're in diapers still
okay go on sorry i cut you off tell me why it's important to pay your three thousand dollars That's like, you don't, you don't, they're in diapers still.
Okay, go on.
Sorry, I cut you off.
Tell me why it's important to pay your $3,000.
To me, I believe in the methodology that Glassman created.
I'm going to coach that way.
I'm going to preach that way.
I'm going to live that lifestyle. And so for me, it would feel unauthentic to run a gym that didn't pay homage to CrossFit.
Like I'm not,
I don't see that. Sounds like some sort of integrity component.
I hear you.
I don't pay that $3,000 to the DEI council.
I pay that $3, dollars so i can continue to
to coach and program and do all the mess like preach the methodology that's how i think about
it because if it weren't if it wasn't crossfit what what else would i do like that's where all
my certifications are through that's where my insurance is through i'll tell you i'm going to
send you a dm and give you an address you can write your check to
if it makes you feel better.
Right after this show.
I still
believe in CrossFit
as a core. CrossFit
isn't some
people in Boulder, Colorado.
To me, CrossFit is an idea.
It's a message. It's a. And I still believe in it.
Fair. Me too. Me too. Fair enough. I can't.
But I wanted to, I wanted to say something to Sue, the small world. Uh,
one of my members, he's relatively newer, joined them within the last year.
Um, and I knew that he started CrossFit in California,
but he was wearing a CrossFit, he was running a CrossFit Livermore hoodie with it on.
I was like, CrossFit Livermore?
I was like, I know CrossFit Livermore.
And I was like, I listened to the podcast
that Matt Fusar produced with me.
He's like, you listen to Matt Fusar's podcast?
Anyway, small world.
I don't know if you remember him, John Casey?
Yeah.
J.D., J.D.
I know J.D. Yep. you remember him john john casey yeah jd yep he said you you helped um join the air force
yeah wow wow oh that's awesome yeah tell jd i said what's up when you see him yeah he
he showed up to the gym and he was prepping to get ready for the air force and uh
and i mean he did all the hard work obviously but yeah he came in and got himself
there it was awesome hey um justin um suza has some very prestigious i wanted to choose the word
carefully um prestigious contracts with uh some big first responder groups very big first responder
groups that are that that it's great it's it's a reason why he doesn't make a lot of the 7am shows anymore because he's dealing directly
with these big, big, big organizations. It's really cool shit. And when I, when I hear you
talk about staying loyal to CrossFit in those things suit, that it's interesting because
Suze is always like, I'm always like prodding him. Like, Hey, do you take credit for it? And
he's like, no. I, and he tells me all the quotes, CrossFit, this CrossFit, this CrossFit,
this Greg Glassman, this, and he's always telling them.
Anytime anyone's like, how do you know all this stuff?
And these are like really senior people in pretty high public places that he's
talking with. And he says, because of CrossFit and, uh, and Greg Glassman.
And so, and so I respect what you're saying. I respect what you're saying.
That's funny though.
Thanks for sharing that story.
And you know,
it's funny.
These comments that are coming in that are saying Matt's whose podcast is probably because I did a podcast with the gym actually had seven on it.
And he,
JD probably thinks it's that podcast.
And he's like,
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When he said that,
when he said,
Oh,
you listened to his podcast.
I,
I realized that. Yeah. I didn't, you listen to his podcast, I realized that he didn't connect with the Vaughn podcast.
Right. Yeah, he might not be familiar, but that's funny.
Cool story. Thanks for sharing.
All right, Justin. Thank you, brother.
Thanks for screwing up my story about people shouldn't pay their affiliate fees.
And thanks for jerking Matt off. Appreciate it.
Peace and love.
Peace and love, brother.
Peace and love.
One thing to uh will's
point that he was making earlier i just want to touch base back on it when he said like bringing
in the if it brings in the members then it's worth it to his point that is why i made the decision
too because when we searched it we still saw that people were still searching for crossfit gyms that
was still bringing people into the door and everything else.
That was part of the reason. So you could, rather than chalking it up to an affiliate fee, you could just say you paid $3,000 in advertisement fees for the year.
Right.
I wonder what's cheesier, to be F45 or to be CrossFit.
F45.
Or Orange Theory.
I used to,
in Manhattan Beach, during the games,
there would be a Starbucks that Greg and I would go into.
And all these dudes
would roll in there in the morning with all their Orange
Theory gear. It was pretty
funny.
Orange Theory gear. Go ahead it was pretty funny oh this is another go ahead go ahead what no i was
like uh this was funny colin lawrence that i've talked about before but he did um uh his first
open workout at my gym dropping in oh colin did yeah i think he was there when like me and a
couple of the other coaches did the workout oh uh f45 has dumbbells to go up to 25 so
i think it might work for seven yes i actually have i have some heavier dumbbells my mom was
actually saying um the other day she was saying you know you need to do some you need to make
those muscle-up videos again and and um i forget there were two things something about being strong
and smart.
Like my mom was concerned that I was getting picked on by the crowd for being weak and dumb.
Well, you could show her this comment.
I don't, but it's just I wear a smaller shirt. But I if any.
I.
I.
i i mom no one if anyone thinks i'm weak and dumb then they're that's fine uh i want to find something um
i got those we we talked about how to treat your parents right and we talked about the importance
of treating police officers uh kind of oh can we look at this giant wave?
That'll be fun.
There's no nudity in this.
There's no me getting on my high horse.
This is – Is it towards the bottom?
I think it's on page four in the middle.
I don't have pages.
It's just a long email.
Oh, right.
I want to talk about retribution in HQ too.
Darn it. I forgot to touch on that.
But there was this thought that there was always these people saying, you know, and unfortunately, I think it's from people like Fikowski, although I don't know, but from this, like the PFAA, CD, whatever professional group is, that there would be retribution at CrossFit if we did something, like if they said something or someone spoke up.
I have to tell you, there has never been greater fear of retribution from people at HQ in the inner crowd than ever before.
By the way, all of these errors that are going on.
OK, let's watch this.
Let's watch this.
Sound or no sound?
Either way.
Either way. That's either way. Let's see. This was let's watch this. Sound or no sound? Either way. Either way.
This was just incredible to me. it's um does does do you even get to enjoy that like does he get to look over his shoulder and see 35 tons of you know
metric tons of water or 350 metric tons whatever the heck's going on over there coming down
mason it's the affiliates running from hq
mason mason barnes thank you to everyone that made this wave happen
what do you mean everyone that made this wave happen. What do you mean everyone that made this wave happen?
You mean God?
You mean like what?
Probably like the jet ski guy that towed him out.
Probably the team of people, the videographers.
Is Sevan insecure that Hiller is taking over?
Will you look up the word insecure for me real quick?
I'll tell you in one second.
Hold on.
I'll tell you.
One second. Hold on. I'll tell you. One second. I remember in high school, when I first heard that word insecure,
people with insecurities, I was like, God, I don't have a single insecurity. This is so,
I can't even relate to what that means. And then I went to college and I started and I got,
and I realized, oh, it's because I'm insecure about everything. So I had nothing to contextualize it with.
I only acted from a place of insecurity.
A not firmly fixed liable to give way or break.
No.
I'm not.
Meaning like, do I think this?
I feel firmly fixed.
And I don't think I'm going to give way.
So no.
Oh, not confident or assured. No, I'm extremely confident and assured that he's going to take over
i i am not uncertain or anxious about it at all
not in the slightest but thank you for asking i appreciate it i didn't
know you cared that was sweet it's really cool
seven why are you so scared of hiller
i don't know because i choose to be because it's fun wait can you look up scared i want to look up
see if scared really quick let's see what scared means i was thinking like my neighbor has all of
these trees fruit trees shit loads of fruit trees and the fruit just hangs on them all like, and you know what I mean?
It just goes to the ground.
I'm just talking thousands of apples and oranges.
And I was thinking about getting a dehydrator.
Have I talked to you about this?
A fearful or frightened?
Am I fearful?
Why am I, why are you so?
Why are you so fearful or frightened?
He's a sponsor.
How do we feel for a frightened or that?
I don't know. Why are you so fearful or frightened? He's a sponsor. How do we feel for a frighten or that?
Don't you see what's going on, people? Well, I made that comment that I'm scared to have Hiller on.
Probably scared is not the right word.
You can go with it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. Something my mom did to me as a child probably i'll call my mom and ask her what she
did to me that made me such a pussy deep-seated insecurity of that i don't know that's what it is
um uh the the the whole thing bats are are fascinating creatures too i think bats are the largest
i don't know if herding is the right word but i think there are caves they're the largest
cohabitant mammals in the world and i just made that phrase up um i think there's caves in in in
southern united states where there's 30 million bats that live in one cave.
Holy shit.
And there's some insane – and you can go over there.
I want to say it's in New Mexico somewhere, and you can go over there and watch it.
I want to say maybe I've actually done this before.
My life is so rich I can't even remember.
But – and there's birds of prey that just hang out there every night and just drill these dudes.
Aren't they cool?
Oh, they're so cute.
I know.
I shouldn't be scared of Hiller.
I should just cuddle him.
They're so cute.
I really liked his last video, man.
Holy cow.
Or his second to last video.
I like the comments that people go,
you're afraid to have him on.
Why are you doing it?
It's like,
do you guys,
are you guys paying attention at all?
No.
Can you not?
We're just,
we're really that short-sighted.
We're not thinking.
We're not paying attention here.
I'm sure Hillary's watching this
he'll come out with video seven as it subs with me i am obsessed with them we like the montage
i really do like the energy he's bringing to the um system and i don't want to fuck with it
i just want to i want to surf it i want to surf it if he can if he if listen if his account let's
look at his account real quick if his account account goes to 100,000 subscribers in the next, I don't know, two months, that means my account is going to grow by – I'm going to get 5% of that.
Oh, damn. He just posted another video. This guy is a machine.
Yeah, so I'm okay with that. I'm excited about that.
And I hope that mine goes to 100, thousand he gets five percent of mine but i just
i want to um i want to ride this shit i want to like use the energy and like you guys don't want
to see us on the same screen together ruin the tension between us uh why do people leave crossfit
oh shit oh shit two hours ago oh shit that was the whole topic of my podcast. You might even think we're working together.
No, we're not. No, you're afraid.
You're afraid.
Let me click that real quick. I want to see something.
I want to hear what the first sentence
is, if it really is like what we were talking about.
Let me see.
Does it mean CrossFit like the affiliate?
Why do affiliates leave? Or like, why do people stop doing the
training? No one stops doing the training.
I think he's talking about that.
No, you can't ever stop doing the training.
You just do.
You just do.
Yeah.
Are you in cahoots?
I saw a video of Rich Brody doing three workouts on the internet.
Why don't we do enough strength work?
What's zone one?
I got to do more zone one.
How do I fit an extra two hours of zone one in today?
And after a while, they never listen because they're so bought in.
They're like, did you sleep enough?
And they go, no.
It's like, how much water have you had?
Where are your kids?
Oh, they're freaking over there.'s fine kids playing with a 50 pound
kettlebell uh that's why i'm not gonna have mom because the motherfucker thinks he knows about
parenting he don't know shit stay in your lane you just bang hot chicks and make videos and stay over there. I'll tell you how to,
how to raise kids and 50 pound kettlebells.
No Jack.
Okay.
Um,
how about this coming out of France?
If you die from taking the vaccine in France,
it was ruled by the courts that you,
um,
it's a suicide because you chose to take it and you, your family can't
collect life insurance. Did you see that? I think I may have lost your audio, Sousa.
I would say that that's real. That's a real, that's a real article.
If you die from the vaccine in France, it is considered suicide because you,
you chose to take it and then
you can't collect insurance there's a court case i saw that i read the article the other day i'm
like wow amazing amazing amazing amazing amazing i got into a car and i got in an accident and i
died and it was suicide because i chose to get in the car. Court in France ruled death from COVID vaccine suicide.
The family sued the insurance company but lost.
The judge ruled that the side effects of the experimental vaccine were made public
and the deceased could not claim to be unaware of them when he voluntarily took the vaccine.
Man, I hope 70 million of you Americans don't die.
Okay.
Man, I hope 70 million of you Americans don't die.
Okay.
Let's go to Stealing Time is Your Life.
I want to show you this.
I think this is in Walgreens in San Francisco.
I want to show you this. More positive and happy news on the Sevan podcast.
It's too below that article.
Sorry. Sorry. I need to start. I'll start numbering these, S need to start i'll start numbering these suza i'll start numbering these two below one two it says at the bottom of the pile there's just
shit podcast and then below that it says stealing time is your life man there's so many bad podcasts
it's nuts what did you think about Trevor Cashy? Someone said, Hey man,
you got to slow him down. He's dropping too much knowledge bombs. And I think that was great
feedback. I think I did screw. When I read that, I did screw that up because he was saying stuff
that I wasn't getting sometimes. And that's like my forte to stop people and like ask them to
clarify. And I wasn't doing that. That's kind of like my, that's my sht ask them to clarify and i wasn't doing that that's kind of like
my that's my shtick that's the that's the blessing of being dumb and weak i can stop people and um
i think we showed this one before we did
i just wanted to there's this idea that I, that I believe that money is human energy,
meaning you can buy, you can buy someone else. You only have, you have a, you have a fixed amount
of time on the planet, right? And when someone takes money from you, what they're doing is,
is they're taking your time. They're taking, not your time, sorry. They're taking human energy. Money is the – it's a direct one-to-one of human energy.
And so here you have a man stealing from a store, and we all pay for that, damaging a store, all of that that damaging a store all of that we pay for all of that
that man right there stole human energy from all of us every time you see someone steal
every time someone gets money illegally they're basically taking someone else's human energy the
a um
a a currency that purchases human energy.
That's what that does.
That money purchases,
it's the currency that purchases human energy.
You pay someone money, they clean your house.
You pay someone money, you buy a cigarette lighter from them
so you can start a fire.
They spent the time making that, now you can start a fire faster. But at the end of the
day, you had to do something that took time to make that money. I did see the kite runner many,
many, many, many, many, many, many, many years ago. I couldn't tell you what it's about.
That's why stealing is not okay. That's why everything's gone to shit in the um
in in california because there's this tolerance for stealing and it's devalued us as humans
tremendously it cannot be tolerated the crazy thing is that guy that said something and then
the guy the dude who was stealing like through those bananas or whatever, prior to the throwing of the bananas, if the guy that went to stop him, like put his hands on him or like tackle them to the ground would have went to jail for assault.
There was this lady playing ping pong.
She was like 75 years old.
She was recently immigrated from China.
She didn't speak any English and she was playing ping pong at the community center. And she'd parked her bike right out in front of the community center. And I was standing there
with my mom and my two sons. And this dude walks up with a blanket over his head, takes bolt cutters,
cuts it and steals her bike and takes off. This is, I don't know, a few months ago,
year ago. And he's riding and I'm chasing him. Right. And the only reason why I'm chasing him is because I want to get points for helping a
Chinese lady so I can like, you know, move, like maybe get a job on the DEI council at
CrossFit.
And, um, so I'm chasing him and I chase him into, and it's a white guy.
Actually, I don't even know.
He hit a blanket on his head.
I couldn't even tell you, but let's just say it's a white, bad, bad, angry white guy.
And so I'm chasing him and I'm chasing him and uh and and he gets away god i wish that story
ended different anyway so the cops come and i said hey if i would have if i would have i thought
about diving and tackling him if he would have went down um and i got in a fight um would i've
gotten trouble he goes oh yeah if you would have hurt him at all we would have arrested you yeah there was a news story recently of like uh wall greens that did that he just went to walk
out and the dude just like had enough and he's like you're the reason why all these costs are
going up and our city's going to crap and freaking went to go put a citizen's arrest on him and the
dude fought back and he picked him up and like body slammed him and stuff and when the cop showed up after the dude got away they were like okay well
um technically if he wants to press charges we're going to have to arrest you
crazy town banana pants world welcome
it's nuts i told you guys this story before but the um uh obby's uh the guy owns obby's
jiu-jitsu school garth taylor was robbed at knife point well attempted robbery they didn't
at knife point at an atm um and uh the cops caught the guy and um within 24 hours he was
released out of jail because they didn't want because they didn't want him to get COVID.
Heaven forbid he gets a cold. You guys know who's to blame for that.
Some of you are listening to the show right now. I blame you guys for that.
Weak leaders. And just you're just weak in general because you played the game.
I hear parents at my kids tennis saying this the other day. There's these two parents standing next to me. And they're talking about how stupid masks are
and how they don't work.
And yet for the last two years,
I saw these parents and their kids participate
in the charade.
I wanted to walk over to them and be like,
excuse me?
One of the dads, his daughter still wears a mask around her neck.
I saw your kids wearing masks last week and you want to stand with an earshot of me talking about how masks don't work and how stupid people are.
Of me.
Talking about how masks don't work.
And how stupid people are.
We're going to see more and more of this.
It's like the fun the police thing is back.
Okay.
Let's go to the very last page. i'm just on a roll now um and let's go to um oh no wait shoot all my pages are all screwed up
oh shoot i can't help you anymore. Oh, okay. You title them, so that's a big help.
Did we talk about the newsletter?
We got a newsletter coming out?
I did talk about that at the beginning of the show.
You have to sign up for the newsletter, you guys.
You have to. You have to.
I'm really excited about that.
We're going to be able to do some really cool stuff with it.
Everyone out there, you know it and I know it,
that your podcast's favorite podcast is this podcast.
Did I say that right?
Yeah, we're your podcast's favorite podcast.
Yeah, we're your podcast's favorite podcast.
What is that? Um, what is below that whole, um, diatribe I had about, um, uh, me being so much more qualified than anyone over there at HQ to do any, any, anything. Um, not everyone, obviously
not, not more than Chuck or Nicole or Todd or those guys, but I'm just talking about the, the,
the 13 year old boys and girls and the serial corporate goons.
There's,
there's a link.
Can you click that link?
I don't know what it's for.
It's just,
it says Instagram.
It's below that.
Do you see,
I don't know what it is.
Let's just hit that one and get that off the list.
Yeah.
It's at the bottom.
It's right below that.
It says my wife and I can't,
my wife says,
I can't say this as much as anybody.
And then there's a link.
You see that?
Page one.
Oh, page one.
Okay, hold on.
A couple paragraphs down.
Did I tell you guys my one wheel got stolen and the guy got a new one?
Did I tell that story?
No.
I didn't know you got a new one.
Okay, I'm going to tell you guys the story? No, I didn't know you had a new one. Okay.
I'm gonna tell you guys a story.
It will bust it for me.
So,
so a couple,
a couple of years.
So,
so Greg,
Greg Glassman is married to this woman named Maggie Glassman.
And she's,
she's just a freak in nature.
Just,
she's just genetic.
She's every,
she's genetically gifted beyond like gifted.
And she's just good at everything.
She can ride a bike.
She can surf.
She can skate.
She can breastfeed and juggle at the same time.
She's a pretty fucking remarkable person, and she's this really hot, typical, prototypical California surfer girl chick.
She's cool as shit.
She's fun.
She's so fun.
Oh, yeah, this is good. This is good. Let me tell the story though, real quick. And then we'll watch that.
So, so, um, a couple of years ago it was her birthday and I told Greg, I said, Hey,
you should get her this one wheel. And he said, okay. So he gets her this one wheel and she's,
she's, I said, I see it in their garage. I'm like, Hey, you're not riding the one wheel.
And she's like, no, fuck that. That's poser city. You know what I mean? Cause she's, I said, I see it in their garage. I'm like, Hey, you're not riding the one wheel. And she's like, no, fuck that. That's poser city. You know what I mean? Cause she's,
it's like the day she's a skater, she's a biker, she's a surfer. You know what I mean?
It's like the kids at the, at the skate park who ride the scooters are kind of like poo pooed,
poo pooed. Yeah. And so, so this, so she never opens this one wheel. And of course it's like
the Greg gets her the dopest one, right? It's so dope. So it's just sitting there in their garage.
Okay. So flash forward two years and I buy my kid a one wheel and it's so dope so it's just sitting there in their garage okay
so flash forward two years and i buy my kid a one wheel and it's so hard to buy it for him because
it's like basically almost two thousand dollars and i'm just tripping right i'm like why am i
buying this kid a two thousand dollar one wheel this is crazy and i end up buying it for him and
he rides it every day he's just and he pulls yeah crushes it he's like everything he just yeah
probably because i don't let him watch tv people but anyway and i spend time with my kids that's
the trick by the way those of you keep getting into my dms what's the trick i just spend time
with my kids like literally i'm going to get off of here in 22 minutes and grab my kids and go play
with them so um so so i were he for like 70 days straight, we go to the beach
and he rides his one wheel with his brothers and his brother's skateboarding and he's just getting
better and better and better and better. So then finally, um, one day we're leaving the beach and
I get home and I realized I've left the one wheel at the beach. He rode the one wheel up to the van,
jumped off, got in the car and I drove off and I left his $2,000 one
wheel at the beach. And I went back there and it was gone. My fucking heart was broken. I talked
about it on the podcast with Josh. I went into my bedroom and I lied on my bed late, lied. And I
cried, not like sobbing cry cry but like I just lied there and
the ducks turned on and some tears came out the side I was just so like I let him down
two weeks later Greg rolls into town this is like and this is like two weeks ago and we're hanging
out in his garage like we always do and just like doing like like we when we, when we're in the garage, like he's got like, we just
like, we'll do pull-ups and talk and drink sparkling water or throw rocks or we just
fool around.
We're like little boys, you know, like we start, like he has a chimney, we'll start
a fire or we'll be eating sandwiches or just whatever.
We're just, we just, we're hanging out in the garage and we're just shooting the shit
in there and fooling around.
And he goes, Hey, see that one wheel over there and i go
yeah and it's the one wheel that he had bought maggie his wife two years earlier brand new still
in the box she had never opened it because it's for posers and he goes you can have that
i dropped him with my knees and i looked up to the heavens and I said, thank you God for making Greg Glassman.
Thank you God for making Greg Glassman.
So my kid got a one wheel back.
Isn't that a crazy story?
That's really cool.
You didn't tell me that.
I was like,
wow.
Wow.
Thank God.
Your hot wife is too fucking cool to ride that thing and my kid's not
my god
that is i wonder if i ever text her and thanked her i think i have you should now i know right
i want to go out there my kids my kids love their kids i want to go out there. My kids, my, my kids love their kids. I want to go out there so bad and visit them again.
Going to LA and,
um,
eight days.
Crazy.
Going out to LA to,
um,
hang out with a,
uh,
one of our new sponsors for like 10 days.
I think,
I think she has twins.
She has daughters,
right?
Yeah.
I don't know if they're twins,
but yeah,
I'm pumped. Yeah. i'm pumped yeah the one
wheel the one wheel god yeah it's crazy yeah so you're christian now yes yes yes yes he works in
mysterious ways well mysterious ways god won't let me be a Christian yet. He says he wants me fishing from a pier where Christians aren't allowed.
If you don't know that, you should pay very, very close attention.
Okay.
Okay, let's play that.
Let's play that.
I thought this was really, really cool.
I like this because this is exactly what I would do. This reminds me of when we had Mesrick on, the guy who wrote the Social Network movie.
And the UPS driver called, and I answered the call in the middle of the podcast with some big-time author who's published 35 books and is a Hollywood superstar.
But I just took the call from the UPS driver anyway.
This guy is cool.
Okay, go ahead. Play.
This is going to go right over my house.
So very close to my house, which, again, is in the Chevy Chase area, Bethesda area.
This is along Wisconsin Avenue as well.
So heads up if you live along Massachusetts or Wisconsin Avenue.
Kent, you in there, buddy?
Yeah.
All right, hey, man, I want you to get down in the basement.
We got a tornado warning. All right, so I want to make sure you and Callie get downstairs as soon as you can, buddy? Yeah. All right. Hey man, I want you to get down in the, in the basement. We got a tornado warning. All right. So I want to make sure you and you and Callie get downstairs as
soon as you can. Okay. Yeah. Get down there right now. Getting a, getting that bat in that,
the bedroom down there and just kind of wait for like 10, 15 minutes. Okay. Do it now. All right.
Thanks buddy. All right. So that was just, you know, got to warn my kids because I know where
my kids are doing right now. They're probably yeah and they're not doing this so we have in the middle
can you pause this susan in in the middle of his weather show live on tv this dude calls his kids
this that whoop that's rogue that's who you sponsor
i buy that shit.
I buy that shit.
I buy whatever that guy tells me.
I see his integrity.
I see his priorities.
They're the same as mine.
Kids first.
Reach out and get him on the show. He got fired for it. See his priorities. They're the same as mine. Kids first.
Reach out and get him on the show.
He got fired for it.
Hey, his kids told him to fuck off and the tornado rolled through there and killed them.
Oh my gosh.
Hello.
Uh oh. I think my mom just texted me. i hope i'm not in trouble for something
when am i gonna i'm never gonna be an adult
it was funny that she said the thing earlier about like um remember you don't have to tell
people you're the real deal guy check Check. Is that what you said?
What a good mom.
I like your perspective of just imagining that,
that your parents have passed and all of a sudden it's a,
would completely change your perspective of how you treat them.
I almost do that all daily, which is everything in life.
Say that again. I was reading this guy's talking about
how it's hard to read the comments
and oh, it's Craig Howard,
how it's hard to read the comments
and pay attention to the show.
And I didn't hear what you said.
One more time, Susan, say it again.
What about parents?
No, I just say the perspective,
the perspective of imagining
that they're gone changes
the way that you treat them
and changes your perspective
on whatever the situation is. i think that i i do that almost daily like especially if stuff's
not going your way or you start to feel down about yourself or something like that you could be like
well you know you could be on your deathbed right now and how would that change in the moment you're
gonna act right and like how i'm gonna you know what i'll do i'm'm going to cut. I'm going to cut this.
I'm going to leave this.
I'm going to read this for a couple shows straight.
When your parents are alive, you might wish they behaved different.
When they're dead, you will wish you behaved different.
Pretend your parents are dead.
I'll leave this out.
That'll be in the first newsletter there just at the header for everybody to be reminded of.
Yeah, that's good.
It's good.
Damn it, that won't stay up there. can i put this it's funny my mom used to say that too and she would do like
embarrassing stuff like you know i needed this will date me a little bit like you'd go to mervin's
for like back to back to school shopping and she'd be like go try on the pants and there'd be other
kids there that you kind of know from school i'm like i don't need to try them on she's like i'm
gonna buy those pants you need to go try them on yeah right you know and then i would get all mad i'd come out and she would like look at a little roomy in the crotch area and you're like
why why would there be other kids they're just like kids like with their parents going shopping
school shopping yeah you know you're in the mall and like you're trying to you're trying to act
cool so you don't want to be seen with them and then she would always say the same thing she's
like you know what you're gonna miss me when i'm. And then I would like get sad because I'd be like, wait, all right.
She'd tell you that when you were eight.
That's brutal.
Dude, all the time.
Logan Morris was in the Husky section.
I was in the Husky section, man.
Hey, I don't think I've ever owned a pair of pants that didn't have to be hemmed six inches.
It sucks.
Dude, you get the Janko jeans.
Irvins.
Will you go to Elon Musk, Washington Post, censorship Twitter?
This is fascinating.
And then below that, we're going to finish with what's below that. I think that the Instagram clip below that. My mom always says that. Oh,
she does. That's good. Wow. She just gives it to you. Oh, did you change your, um,
Oh no, you didn't. I thought maybe a Lee, a Lisa, Alyssa changed her picture,
but I ever confused with another Elisa.
Elon Musk's Twitter investment could be bad news for free speech.
Do not bother reading this article.
It says absolutely nothing.
It's just an excuse to put up a lying headline.
These people, these Twitter people, by the way, Jack Dorsey just came out apologizing for the shit that he did when he was head over there.
I don't forgive him for that.
These people kicked off the president of the United States yesterday or two days ago.
They suspended the account of the Babylon Bee because they called a man who wants to be called a woman a man.
And they're worried about censorship.
This is batshit crazy.
Absolutely crazy.
The Washington Post is horrible.
I should do a whole show and show how they just spread crazy, crazy divisiveness and racism.
They are so bad.
They just put something out with like one in six Americans or something,
or six out of ten Americans still want masks because of the new wave of COVID.
Shit like that.
I'd like to see that poll.
Elon Musk's Twitter investment could be bad.
Who else is he going to kick off?
The article argues that Twitter's never censored Elon.
Why would he be upset?
It's not about him, you jerkholes.
it's not about him.
You jerk holes.
It's, it's,
uh,
Timothy.
I,
and I look up these people when I see the authors,
Timothy O'Brien.
I mean,
you are an idiot.
Sorry,
sorry,
sorry.
My wife doesn't want me calling people idiots.
You are so you,
what if I,
could I be Christian and just call them evil?
I don't like that word either.
Confused.
What if we call them confused? I don't like that word either. Confused. What if we call them confused?
They're confused and malicious. Yes, you should
have your pen taken from you and
shoved up your ass.
Okay, I don't think my wife would like that either.
Is there any big news
outlet? Oh, here we go.
Look at this name.
Ooh.
Who's that?
Ermendo Negildo.
Ermendo Negildo.
Hi.
Hi.
Ermen, hi.
Oh.
Am I live?
You are live.
Oh, my God.
It's really cool to talk to you so long.
Oh, it's very cool to talk to you too.
Thank you.
I was nervous i
just dialed the wrong number and some random lady called and i realized i'm nervous too just so you
know i'm nervous too like imagine me i have to sit here and answer the phone when strange people
call it's weird i'm not i know i just wanted to say i love the podcast and yeah it's the best out there I love what you're doing
oh thank you
what's your name?
so my name is not what
appears on the phone because I'm calling from my company
my name is
Rafael I'm Italian
you are Italian?
yeah
wow I thought for sure you were Indian.
That's crazy how
confused and unable
I am to be racist.
I'm horrible at it.
Absolutely atrocious
at it.
And are you living
in New York?
I live,
no,
because my company
is based in New York.
I actually live
in Los Angeles.
Oh,
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That's fine. That's fine. We get to live in the same state. I, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That's fine.
That's fine.
We get to live in the same state.
I know.
I know.
So sometimes I travel to Palo Alto for work and I, and then sometimes I think, oh, I'm
just passing over some on time.
Yes.
Are you, are you a computer programmer?
Are you a programmer?
Engineer?
No, no, no, no. I work in fashion.
Oh, awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Well, fantastic. And you CrossFit also. You believe in taking care of your health.
Yeah, yeah, I did. I just back squatted 300 pounds this morning for six sets, three reps.
Wow. Congratulations. That's awesome. Which gym do you go to? Do you go to a CrossFit gym or do you go to a gym that's smart, that's de-affiliated?
Exactly. Exactly.
Oh, Susan, Justin, you guys, I can't wait until you guys write your next three thousand
dollar check you got you know what you guys i'll send you guys a free shirt so you can use it to
blow your noses and wipe your tears off with so your gym used to be um your gym used to be a an
affiliate and they they're not an affiliate anymore they stopped giving the money to the to
the mothership correct yeah that's what happened. You tell them that, I apologize
it took me so long to realize that was
the right move to do.
I was nostalgic
and I thought it was the right move. It is not the right move
to keep giving them money.
Yeah, because
next year, are we going to be able to
participate in the Open? Yes.
I want to do the Open next year, but
if you're not affiliated, then no. You don't need to be affiliated to do the Open next year. But if you're not affiliated, then...
You don't need to be affiliated
to do the Open anymore, though, right?
You just need a judge?
You can just take the judge's course
and have someone judge you.
I think they kind of screwed the affiliates
like that, too.
Is that true, Sousa?
Yeah, I think you just need a registered judge.
Yeah.
They don't want to protect affiliates.
They want that money.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, thank you for calling.
I appreciate it.
I only have like three minutes left
and I need to make sure that I use that
to bash the DEA council.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Siobhan.
Have a good day.
All right. Peace and love, brother. Thank you. Ciao you, Siobhan. Have a good day. All right.
Peace and love, brother.
Take it easy, brother.
Thank you.
Ciao.
Ciao.
Ciao.
He's Italian.
Ciao.
Ciao.
He's Italian.
I was trying to do my research here.
I found that guy that wrote the article on the Washington Post that we just did about
Elon being bad for free speech, like Elon Musk being the largest shareholder, and then
went to his twitter account which was
interesting and then found that he's a writer for the bluebird bloomberg opinion and then started
to look up who funds the bloomberg opinion that's all i got so far that you think i could
hey will branstetter would have solved it all already.
Will would have solved it all already.
Judge's course, $20 cheaper than the affiliate fee.
No, Judge's course is... Oh, you're saying it's $2,980 cheaper.
$2,980 cheaper just to take the Judge's course.
$2,980 cheaper just to take the judges course.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I don't mean to sound like an alarmist,
but if you haven't taken your L1,
you should take your L1 before something happens over there.
And they start telling you that the only way you can become fit is, is if you chug down 12 monsters and I'm not,
and I'm not against a monster sponsorship i
just know that that company can be bought now okay will you play the art of the the instagram um
button right below um the washington post article yes and you're so afraid before i play this i want
you to know you point at people you point at people, you point at people, like that guy, I forget his name, it was a Republican congressman.
He was just hating on homosexuals, just hating on them.
And then there was the Democrat from New York who was just hating, like he made, Elliot Spitzer, he just made it a career of going after brothels and going after prostitutes and
you know where elliot spitzer was found right he got busted for just banging a shitload of whores
and you know that that gay that that that that that republican congressman got caught getting
a blow job in a bathroom at an airport i know that every time you point at someone for being
racist every time you do that i know what you do that, I know what you're doing.
We all know what you're doing.
We all know what you're doing.
We know.
We know.
We know what the black square means.
It means you're a flaming racist who thinks black people are inferior.
We know it.
But seven black people post that too.
Yeah, they think that too.
Everyone who posts that thinks that. I post that too yeah they think that too i'm everyone
who posts that thinks that i know that we all know that no one stands on their porch and says
i am not a fucking pedophile and we believe you we all go okay get the kids in get the kids and
don't get go over to that neighbor's house anymore don't hang out in that front yard
okay go play play i think this comic died by the way i hunted him down because i wanted to
get him on the show i think poor man passed away okay go ahead i'm so afraid to be a racist i'm
telling you you see a few black guys walking towards you in an area you don't belong in
run i don't want to assume that these young men are going
to beat me in my face.
I don't want anybody accusing me of racism.
So they got to wait to get beat up first before they
could even think about running.
If I see five bald white dudes walking towards me,
I ain't going to wonder if they got cancer.
I'm going to go, those look like skinheads.
I'm getting the fuck out of here. And I'm not going to come back. Even if they pretend they got cancer. I'm gonna go, those look like skinheads. I'm getting the fuck out of here.
And I'm not gonna come back.
Even if they pretend they got cancer.
Oh, dude, oh.
No, don't run, dude.
We got cancer.
We was all coming from chemotherapy classes over here. And they just thought we were strong enough to get, you know.
And I'm not running.
I'm not.
No.
Because that could be the old cancer hanging
hatred. I go back.
Get him!
Oh! I fell for the
cancer hanging hatred. How the fuck did I
White guys
saw
Two red
comedies illegal.
We know. We know.
And we know being racist is painful. And we know being racist is painful and we know it's hard
and we know it's it's even harder to work on yourself and look at yourself and so you keep
pointing at other people i get it i get it i ain't hating you do you you do you but but but
but if you if you but we know i just want you to know we know we know what you're doing you've made
it your occupation to accuse other people you made
it part of your identity because you're so scared someone might find out you are you might even be
hiding it from yourself shit i don't know it's a burden and i know it's a road in your soul
and we don't hate you for it we really don't we really don't we know it take we know you got to
go inside and do some work you might not even do it in this lifetime you might not even do it in
this lifetime uh right below that do you see when it says says, we demand you are offended and play the victim role?
Do you see that?
Did I already play that one?
Oh, my goodness.
You know who I follow now?
I follow the Khaleesi.
Hey, me too.
You do?
Yeah.
Wait, really?
Did you just follow her yesterday?
A couple days ago, I started following her.
Oh, okay.
I really liked her.
I've always liked her.
I thought she does does an
amazing job of um holding down the fort uh i wonder if she'd come on the show what i talked
her about i put a link to her instagram account can you click it did you want this or the other
one oh no we'll talk about black lives matter use donations Black Lives Matter. Use donations. This is so crazy.
No, let's go.
Let's finish on the Khaleesi.
Let's finish on some...
What's funny is I just started following her a couple days ago
and
she...
Oh, you don't follow her.
This is CrossFit Limb Wars. Oh. and she um oh you don't follow her this is this is cross the limbo oh um she has a blue check mark what a boss okay she's the she's the media director of syracuse sweat club she's a podcast
host of morning chocolate man she i don't know what took me so long to follow her but man she's
cranking out a lot of work let me see that let me see her at the top of that bar muscle up someone asked me if she works
out i'm like uh like yeah clearly unless she climbed up there for a photo that dude on the
right is going to bring a ladder over to get her down it's just what off screen here yeah she's good she just did a podcast with um
the underdogs athletics guy justin kotler and our guy brian friend
yeah she's jacked look at her she looks strong as shit she's fit okay
oh how about i didn't see the officer tatum video he posted yesterday but he's coming on the show
he's coming on the show in a couple days couple weeks i don't know soon soon yeah
i'll check it out i'll look i'll look at it travis when i um when i get off here
all right great show guys
funny from a guy who talks about not wanting to be a pod uh a crossfit show i've
completely turned into a crossfit show what am i doing sign up for our newsletter go to the oh
yes sign up for the newsletter i'm so excited it's not even going to be a newsletter you guys
it's going to be basically an email of the day like it'll show you like like our favorite video it'll show you like the biggest butt in the world doing a squat then over
here it'll be like uh uh did you see that like that girl rory that eight or nine year old girl
who just deadlifted 220 they'll be her and then it'll be like um you know a couple like a video
like a couple getting caught having sex in the gym it'll just be like different stuff like that
you know what i mean it'll be fun like the show a whole majpaj of just stuff it's basically a one-stop shop it'll
just like i wanted the last one to be probably no dick pics um in there unless it was like
like a really small one or a really big one or like a two-headed one there would have to be like
something really um special about it, unique.
But it's going to be a fun – it's more like a – not a newsletter.
It's something that pops into your inbox with just a bunch of links.
And that's where we're going to start before we just take over everything.
That's baby steps, baby steps.
And I can't wait to tell you guys about the sponsor who's paying for it and and all that it's great uh
i'm unsubscribing if there's no dick pics okay we will not bend but by your threats we will not bend
no dick pics all right guys love you. Susan. Thanks for coming on this morning. I don't see us having a show tomorrow.
I'm not sure what's on the schedule.
Okay.
Um,
but,
uh,
Susan and I will be talking all day and seeing if,
uh,
we can fix that.
All right,
guys.
Love you.
Thanks for everyone checking in.
Uh,
talk to you guys later.
Oh,