The Sevan Podcast - #494 - Matt Beaudreau

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:36 It's so cool. I watched it with your interview last night with, what's the gentleman's name? He owns the supplement company, the young kid who's having the baby nick bear yeah nick bear yeah he just uh they just had the baby man like two days ago something like that so i made sure i sent a message what a good good young guy what a stud man yeah how old is that dude i think he's 30 like 31 it was it it's a – that was – that interview – that interview really tripped me out in a way that I didn't expect. It forced me to reflect on myself a lot, on my age a lot. Oh, okay. Why?
Starting point is 00:01:23 Because he's so young and so successful he's so say it again say it again i was gonna say is it because of the parents suffer because he's a stud and he's 31 and he's already crushing it yeah there's a a combination of um so you can't you know you want your life experiences to help you move forward but you don't want them to jade you, right? So you meet 10 dishonest people, but you don't – that 11th person you meet, and we all know those people. Like my dad can't stand real estate agents and lawyers and just anyone who makes money off of their – what's that called? Like their sales, right?
Starting point is 00:02:03 Don't trust a lawyer. He wants it to go to court so he can charge more money so he can do this. Don't trust a real estate agent. He's going to tell you you love the house. Like my dad is jaded like that, right? I don't ever want to have that. Every real estate agent I meet, I want to just treat them like a human being. Yeah, for sure. has some uh genuine uh naive is going to come across negative because it's not naive um
Starting point is 00:02:31 he's a super powerful seedling he he like um there's some weak seedlings out there the seedling for the sunflower plant is not a weak seedling before the flower comes out that's a fucking plant yeah that's a monster no you know what yeah that guy's already a monster and he hasn't even flowered yet he's still like a little kid but he's already a monster i'm like what you know what it is for him man before i talked with him it is a genuine uh curiosity right okay it's a curiosity and it's a it's a kind of a wonder around the world you know he he just looks at everything of like oh man this is going to be I'm so curious what this is going to be like and I I know it's going to be amazing but I'm so curious in what ways that comes into fruition you know he
Starting point is 00:03:14 was looking at his company and kind of like what's what are the next stages of my company and he was like genuinely curious and kind of wondering like man I'm sure it's going to be amazing but what do I do with it like what is the next stage he He was looking at that from, in terms of his marriage, in terms of his, you know, becoming a father. Um, he just had that genuine curiosity about a man. And, and, uh, yeah, just such a good guy. So smart. So accomplished a physical frigging, just a savage, you know, I started following him, um, uh, after I watched it and yeah, this morning he woke up or I don't know when he, when he actually did it, but the post was, he woke up and ran 20 miles. I'm like, Oh God, he's huge, dude. And he's a,
Starting point is 00:03:56 you know what I mean? Not, I mean, he's a, the dude's got size on him too. He's strong as an ox. Right. So he, and he's out there running. So he's breaking a bunch of stereotypes that way too. So yeah, it was, it was cool, man. I was glad I was out there. It worked out perfect. I was out in Texas to do some things and worked out perfect and was honored to be able to go by and chat with him. So yeah, Nick bear, man, he's a stud. So if people don't know about him, they should. So people don't know, they should too, man. It's I'm always pumped to talk to you. Thank you. Uh, Boudreaux. Maybe. Yeah. How do you say, how do you say you say i know we talked about it in the last podcast yeah we california it up so i always grew up saying boudreaux but
Starting point is 00:04:33 boudreaux okay so like i said whenever whenever i speak out of country if they speak french there they say it way cooler and i just anybody's even close man i just knocked my head i i want to uh i want to well first first those want to, well, first, first, those of you who haven't heard before, um, I've had Matt on the show before you should go back and listen to it in summation. And this is just the, the, the quick and dirty, uh, Matt lived a very full life, um, as a young man, um, searching for himself and putting himself in, um, ways that would allow him to find himself through one of my favorite sports, MMA. And he was always an entrepreneur and a go-getter.
Starting point is 00:05:10 And he had the honor and deserved – I don't know if this is the word – deservitude to get around a lot of strong, powerful go-getters. Also, a lot of celebrity fighters. go-getters also a lot of celebrity fighters and then um he uh reincarnated himself as a um as a as a man of service and it's interesting i think a lot of people you know some people want to be friends with um like it'd be cool to be friends with kim kardashian because she's so hot and she goes to rap parties and she got like great big old titties and kanye looks like he'd be fun to meet and just like it would be interesting and it would be cool to be friends with um you know maybe lebron so that like you could get courtside seats the people who want to be friends with matt want to be friends with matt because of what he's giving to planet earth and what he's giving to children.
Starting point is 00:06:06 You won't, you won't know a lot of people like that. You, thank you. You want to be friends with this dude because you want to support what he's doing. You're not, even if you love Kim,
Starting point is 00:06:15 you're not really interested in like supporting what she's doing. Or even if you love LeBron, you're not interested in supporting what they're doing. The people who get behind Matt want to stand behind him and push him. They want to give to him. I appreciate that. Like if I go to Kim's house, I want to take from her behind matt want to stand behind him and push him they want to give to him i appreciate that like if i go to kim's house i want to take from her i want to i want to take some pictures of her i want to like hug her and squeeze her inappropriately tight lebron i want to like put on his shoes and like touch his hands and see how small my hands are i don't want to do
Starting point is 00:06:38 that to matt i don't want to take anything from him i want to get i want to i want to participate he's he's a um a a pawn that you throw a penny in and make a wish, and you make the wish for him, not for you. I mean, you are a fucking good human being. Dude, I don't have as much to give as those other guys in those different ways. So if people want to give this way and come this direction, they usually are relating to the mission. They're relating to— The mission. It's the mission of building up these strong young kids, you know? So it's so I get to automatically partner with amazing people, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:13 people like yourself who understand the mission, who are living that with your own, you know, maybe not building schools. So you're raising three human beings like that is, that is a mission and you're and you're intentional about the way you do that you know and um i just know far too many people that are doing that so i mean i think the same same kind of things could be said to you and i think anybody i get to partner with yeah that's that's a mission and what's so cool man is that um there are so many good people that are on board with this they're really i mean it's the we're in the age of division you know we're in the age of everybody find the enemy and man i get I get wrapped up into it too. Cause I'm like, fuck this
Starting point is 00:07:49 and this system. And I'm, I get very much wrapped in that, into that too. But, um, I always try to rein myself back in and go, look, man, I got a finite amount of energy and I can either be pissed about this or I can build something better over here. And whether that's building my kids, my family, my schools, my programs, my whatever it is to pour into these young guys. You know, I got to try to redirect that, but there's a lot of good people involved in that mission, man. When I, if I looked at your taxes, how are your business portfolio, how many schools do you own? Yeah. So are you responsible for so yeah those are so those are two different questions so i was okay okay yeah so i was the the physical owner of three um that i have since
Starting point is 00:08:34 transferred license to uh the employees and a former business partner okay so when i talked to you last time you had three schools k, K through 12, these acting academies. I specifically own exactly what I've done is taken on a role of responsibility for about 300. And so. Does that have a title? Can you give me a title for that? Not really.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Okay. You know, I mean, really no, because it's more out of, it's more out of service. It's more of a chief evangelist, recruiter, whatever you want to call it to four or five people a day around the world who are interested in doing the same thing for their communities, interested in doing the same thing for their kids. And we know we'll jump on a zoom call for an hour and just go, okay, man, here's
Starting point is 00:09:34 what you got to do. Here's how it starts. Here's how you do it effectively. Here's how you create, you know, sustainability. Here's how you really trying to help as many good people as I can, again, get on board with the mission, right? If we can get more and more of these, then we can start to actually shift all those things that I want to tend to be like, okay, school, clearly there's issues and there's agendas and yes, all this stuff. And I want to point that out because I want people to see it, but I want to spend more time going and solution looks like this, right? Solutions over here. And if I can get more and more people over here, it was just like the CrossFit explosion, right? It's like, look, here's a solution. Here's something else right here. And if we can create a whole bunch of people to getting behind this
Starting point is 00:10:13 and blowing this up, well, then everybody over here has to at least notice. Like I don't at least say it, right? So we're doing the same thing. So that's what I spend my days. I spend my days doing that and then running the other programs that I get to run for young people outside of just schools. And one of those would be like the Apogee program. Yeah, exactly. Apogee. Separate from acting. That's separate from acting academy. It is. Yeah. So, Tim, most people listen and will know Tim Kennedy more than they'll know who I am for good, for good reason. And, um, you know, Tim, Tim and I are our friends and partners on this. And we were, uh, he, he beat my ass in a, in a workout about a year and a half ago, we were working out in Texas and he just crushed me, uh,
Starting point is 00:10:57 and, and had a couple of his buddies there and just a bunch of savages. Um, and then we got done, we went over to a coffee shop and we're hanging out and we were talking through what this could look like so we kind of went two directions one i helped him open uh the school the physical campus that he now has out there in cedar park texas and then the other part was uh the development of apogee strong which is uh good men pouring into young men and it's it's a year-long program for young guys so we got young men, you know, like 13 to 19, 20 years old, all over the world involved in this program. It's, it's frigging awesome. These 300 schools, do they all fall under the Acton Academy flag? They're Acton Academies.
Starting point is 00:11:37 And you said around the world, there's some outside the United States. 26 countries now, man. Wow, dude. Congratulations. Yeah, it's awesome. Thanks, man. We're in 41 states, I think, and 26 countries. I'd have to go back and double check, but I think that's right about where it's at. So, yeah, it's pretty freaking cool.
Starting point is 00:12:00 The method in which you – and I'm purposely not using the word curriculum because we talked about that last show. The method in which you – you may have to help me here. Engage. This is the first 500 – oh, yeah, yeah, good. Engage. 500 shows. I've never been at a loss for words. never been at a loss for words uh the method in which you engage with these children is there a book that i can read and it'll be like oh yes that's uh rudolph steiner's way of engaging with kids or what's the the principle of how you engage with the kids yeah i mean so the i just made that up that guy because i know he has the waldorf schools right so it was rad steiner is rad and there's their waldorf elements
Starting point is 00:12:45 you know so uh you could read as neil's uh summer hill right you could read uh peter gray's um gosh what is peter gray's free to learn um is phenomenal anything by john taylor gatto g-a-t-t-o is phenomenal seth godin's Stop Stealing Dreams. Ah, I watched that last night. I watched his TED Talk last night after I heard you talk about it. Oh, God, I love him, man. Seth is a freaking great dude. His books, all of those, Maria Montessori, all of those will give you a bit of insight, but there is a book called courage to grow. That is really, uh, that dives, you know, deep kind of into our day-to-day ad act. And it is, it is acting specifics because there's, there's elements of all of those, uh, pioneers that are, that are in the program. You know,
Starting point is 00:13:37 we want, ultimately we want that, that freedom and that responsibility to be 100% on the heroes. We want it to be where the adults truly can be irrelevant, not have to be there at all and have those young heroes just rocking and rolling. So Courage to Grow is the best book for it. I'm looking on Amazon. Laura Sandifer. Correct. How Acting Academy Turns Learning Upside Down. uh laura sandifer correct how acting academy turns lead uh learning upside down yes sir that's the one that's the go-to book and it's quick read inspirational read um never met anybody that said oh okay well that was that was fine yeah that's the one man it's a it's it's phenomenal is this lady alive yes she is she and her husband jeff um are two of and i and i would say you know they're two of my favorite people um i would say jeff is one of the uh greatest educators pure dna educator
Starting point is 00:14:37 um to to ever walk the face of the of the planet when we start talking about people like gato and you start talking about people like you know steiner start talking about people like Steiner and Montessori and you start talking about some of these legends like that, Jeff is in that category. What's an educator? So I always differentiate between teachers and educators. And I think people can learn to teach and you can learn to be, you can be a mentor. I think mentors are know, people can learn to teach and you can learn to be you can be a mentor. I think mentors are usually a master in a certain area. I think of it like martial arts. Right. And you can you can be a master in a certain area and you can mentor somebody into that specific level of mastery. But I think teachers and a God bless teachers, man, I love good, good humans that are good.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Teachers are important and I support them. I support them greatly. I mean, I love good, good humans that are good. Teachers are important and I support them. I support them greatly. But I, you know, just based on my own experience of becoming a teacher, especially in public schools, you can you can pretty much train anybody to be a teacher. Right. Because it's more about following a system and you're you're just parroting the prescription, you know, somewhat. I think an educator to me is is a DNA thing. I don't think you can teach anybody how to be an educator. I think it is a combination of an inherent belief in humanity. I think you have to have that love, a genuine love for humans. You know, you actually have to believe that they are, that they are an amazing species, that genius is the default setting. I think you have to truly believe that.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And then you have to get your own ego out of the way in order to understand that your job, and it's easier for an educator to do this, your job is to open doors. Your job is to lift eyes to the horizon. Your job is to make yourself irrelevant as soon as you can and help this young genius, you know, on this kind of journey. And it sounds very esoteric and mumbo jumbo, but the way it really plays out is you believe in them, you expose them to an experience, you ask them their thoughts, their questions, you push back on that and allow them to think through things. And you're not busy pounding your ideas into them. You're busy cultivating an environment around them so they're going to come to their own conclusions. And Jeff does that naturally and masterfully.
Starting point is 00:17:11 I don't know anybody that does, especially when you start talking about taking a Socratic conversation or the concept of Socratic where you're asking why, why, why. And he's so good at going, would you rather choice A or choice B? And he doesn't let you choose in the middle. It's no choice A or choice B if you had to choose one. And then what do you mean by that? And he's able to question you with such simplicity that your thoughts become inherently more complex. And that's a genius level thing, right? He doesn't ask you complex questions. So where your answers are just kind of these, uh, you know, yes or no kind of things. He asks you the most simple questions that allow you to really go through your own thoughts. Uh, and it's a skill that I don't know anybody that has it to the level that he does. So yeah, huge fan, obviously they have kids. Do those two have kids?
Starting point is 00:17:58 They do. Yeah. They've got a couple of studs. Jeff has a daughter who's a brilliant human from a previous marriage. And then he and Laura have two young men, Sam and Charlie. They're somewhere around, I want to say like 18 and 19 or 19 and 20. They're somewhere around that. And both, you know, following after the parents split steps. Stellar young men, way smarter than I am way more handsome, way more. I mean, they're just fricking, they're awesome. Um, when, when, when I was raised, um, uh, in, in the abortion issue, um, came up, uh, it was all about, um, it was presented to me as a kid, uh, very, um, I'm going to use the word one-sided, but even presenting it like that is one-sided.
Starting point is 00:18:48 I want to be more open than that, but it was presented to me as this is a women's rights issue. And that if you, if you don't believe in allowing women to get abortions, then you're against women's rights. And that was put into me just forever and ever and ever. And I use this subject because it is so charged. But if I were to, when I bring it up to my kids, I will bring it up like that that then i will also bring it up to what about the baby's rights and then i will also bring it up is this even the right question to ask like maybe like remember i'm posing it to you as either is it the baby's rights or is it the uh woman's rights or maybe that's not even the question to ask right and we're presented we're present. We're presented these. But but but but as a child, until I was like, I know this sounds so naive on my part, but until I was into my maybe 40s, I'm 50 now.
Starting point is 00:19:54 It was never even mentioned that. What about the killing of the baby in the circles that I ran in? Never once. Like never. No one's ever. It's not like it's 20 people sitting around with pickets in my in my group being like i can't believe they're against women's rights no no one was like what about the baby being killed like no one ever sure it was just attack it was just attack anyone who said that and i'm still pro-choice but but i side with all the law Yeah, I'm still pro-choice person, I guess. But I side with all the logic that's on the pro-life side. Right. And that's – And I don't want to take that away from my – I want my child to be able to say, I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:40 And it was an interesting thing that I heard you talk about with Nick Bear about. The other day, my son goes, hey, I want to know – he caught some lizards in the backyard, and he brought them in the house. We have them in a little cage with a light, and we've been buying crickets for them. He goes, hey, they had dried worms at the store. Can you ask your computer if our lizards eat dry worms? And after listening to what you said,'m like oh this fucking computer will never say i don't know i could ask what happens after i die it'll tell me i can ask it where i was before i was born there's that computer's only answers i can do something that computer can't do i can say i don't know and i can drift into the unknown we're all we're in my opinion is where all the
Starting point is 00:21:21 power is that's exactly where all the power is. That's exactly where all the power is. That's where the experience is. That's where the learning is. That's where, you know, it's, it's. I was never allowed to be in the unknown because, because an ideology was pumped onto me. It's women's rights. I was never allowed to be like, Hey, but, or how, what, or no one asked me a question. I was told. That's right. And what are the nuances around that? There aren't. Yeah, that's right. We take, you know, know, and we tend to do that as parents. We do that from, you know, systemic overviews. We do because you had the ideology put it like, hey, pro-choice or you're a sack of shit. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Like it's just defend women or else you're a piece of shit. It's all about the women. Yeah. And then you've got people on the other side who are like, look, it's all about the baby. Screw the lady. Yeah. Yeah. That's the ideology they tell their kids, it's all about the baby. Screw the lady. That's the ideology they tell their kids. It's all about the baby. Screw the lady. I don't care because the lady clearly put herself in the situation. And so you've got both sides. And then what happens there?
Starting point is 00:22:16 Neither side wants to actually have a conversation. So you inherently have division. So you inherently have a whole group of people that the reality is you probably agree on 85, 90%. You probably agree on so much. You'd probably be able to come together on so many things. You'd probably be able to make friendships. You'd probably be able to do some really cool things together and have some meeting of the minds, but you were introduced via I oppose you, you oppose me. We're enemies on this, boom. And so then there's an immediate disconnect. And that is the story that's spun, you know, especially in media now. And it's just
Starting point is 00:22:52 continuously about that division versus, okay, we're going to disagree on this. We're going to disagree, you know, on this specific topic. Let's talk about it. What are the nuances here? Are there some places where we do agree? Maybe both sides agree, you know, on the, on the abortion issue. Maybe we actually agree on some of, some of the nuances, some of the like unique one-offs, some of the, maybe we can find some common ground here. And at the end of the day, if we can't find some common ground on this, maybe we can still find some common ground other places and not look at each other as enemies. We just look at each other as two people who disagree on this specific thing, you know, and, and, um, and those are the conversations. That's it. You want to have that. And you got to realize when you're having those
Starting point is 00:23:33 with your, with your young person too, and you saying, you don't know, and they're saying maybe they don't know, or they have a specific opinion and they're 15 they're 18 that opinion could also change yeah yeah that opinion might change right that's part of not even be thinking about it right you might not even be thinking about it right because as you get so so eventually so here's like to give an example of that um precedent so what the um you might be thinking it's about uh pro uh kill the baby or kill kill the mom and then someone could be like well or um sorry kill the baby or uh mom's rights and then someone could be like hey how can you kill a baby savon and then my response is well there's another issue what's that savon precedent what's precedent precedent is if we allow to if we allow society to
Starting point is 00:24:24 tell women what they can and can't do with their body, what's that lead to? What are the implications of that? So actually it has nothing to do with whether it's killing and just giving someone a whole other way to think about it. And I don't mean superficial ways. The superficial ways that go down rabbit holes are – and I'm okay with this kind of talk, but it doesn't lead to an end. When is it actually a life? This kind of stuff where you're going down a rabbit hole instead of going bigger picture, going more enlightened, going wiser. That's the point, though, is it's all worth exploring.
Starting point is 00:24:58 All of that is nuance worth exploring, right? Because when does it become a life? Is nuance worth exploring, right? Because when does it become a life? That inherently speaks, if it is, if you're, you know, the way Ben Shapiro describes it is he's talking about, you know, this eventually if left alone becomes this sentient, you know, conception, we are good to go. That is going to be a sentient being if, if sentient being, if left alone. So then maybe we should leave that alone. And people all know that's not the case. Then he argues that, okay, well, if somebody is in a coma, we don't know if they're going to come out. Can we stab them? Can we kill them? You know, and I think all of these, whether you like Ben Shapiro or not, whether you're short, the point is listen Yeah. And understand at the end of the day, you will find something you disagree on with pretty much every other human on the planet.
Starting point is 00:25:55 So then what? Are you going to let it ruin your day? Are you going to let it ruin your life? Are you going to let it ruin all of your relationships? Or are you going to look for ways to keep yourself emotionally in check, be able to have civil discourse, be able to change your mind if better evidence gets presented, be able to push for what you believe? Or change yourself, become wiser yourself, right? That's it, man. That's it. And I will always push hard for what I believe, but I promise you I will change my mind if new evidence is presented. And I promise
Starting point is 00:26:23 I'll push hard while understanding that somebody else is coming at it from a different perspective in a different life phase with different background. And I'm not going to get emotionally attached to them disagreeing with me. And I'm not going to take it and go, well, then you're a piece of shit and you and I can't hang out. Like that's just, that's a shitty way to live period. You know, and that's, and again, I think any good educators circling back to somebody like Jeff, whatever, I think that's a shitty way to live period you know and that's and again i think any good educator circling back to somebody like jeff whatever i think that's what they actually want right and that's the definition of freedom is that i'm free in all of the ways that people are not because i
Starting point is 00:26:56 think that way and because i keep my emotions in check and they are and i'm free because i allow them to be free including freely disagree with me and freely, you know, do something else as long as you're not harming somebody, somebody else. So it's, I don't know, it's a, it's a big philosophical fricking mumbo jumbo, man. But, uh, I think it's, I think it's worth, um, especially when it comes to our kids, I think it's worth considering where our shortcomings in that. i that's i try to be as aware of that as i can and realize when i screw that up and and um especially around my kids um uh recent recently we had a a dude in the crossfit community pop and uh for taking some
Starting point is 00:27:40 sort of drug he's not allowed to take while competing it the implications are or maybe it's not even implications but it's cheating like you can't you can't eat bananas before the competition or else it's cheating he took some drugs and and uh and i had him on the show and i said what did your mom say and she my mom and dad said i'm paraphrasing but uh hey dipshit why'd you do that and they go hey can i share something with you and he goes what i go i want to tell you something about your parents he goes what i go um they seem like they're mad at you but they're mad at themselves he goes what do you mean he goes they wish that they would have had the relationship with you that you would have come and asked them first and uh when i was in college and i wanted
Starting point is 00:28:20 to take mdma i bought a book on mdma and i went to my mom with it and i read it and I'm like, mom, I want to take this shit. Like I went to my mom. I just realized that now talking to you, I went to my mom. That's how open, that's how I could talk to my mom about anything. That's awesome. And I heard you say that recently about, um, not only your kids, but your wife. That's right. You said, you said in an interview, I want to be there so that my wife and my kids can talk to me about anything. I pride myself on being able to go anywhere in my brain. Like if anyone if like if someone wants to sit me down and convince me that I'm a homosexual, I'm totally open to it.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Let's talk. The only conversation I can ever remember shutting down was someone tried to convince me that what Jeffrey Epstein was okay, what he did was okay, and that those 15-year-old girls were going to have a worse life without him. And I go, hey, dude, I'm not doing this. I'm not participating in this. In my 50 years, that's the only conversation I can ever remember. But there's people all around me who don't want to talk about stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:26 No, I agree. I don't want to talk about Trump. I don't want to talk about Biden. I don't want to talk about anything. And I'm like, dude, these are so why this is so fun. Yeah. And don't don't talk about religion. Don't talk about politics. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:37 It's rude. It's rude. It's rude. Well, it created a whole culture. They can't talk about religion. They can't talk about politics. That's what it created is it created a whole bunch of people that can do that. And if we start to do it again, it's the automatic division.
Starting point is 00:29:47 It's the automatic emotional breakdown. Now, I would tend to agree with you. I think, you know, if somebody is is attempting a conversation that just immediately backs up to my my values and my value systems, you're not going to we're not going to have conversations around why pedophilia is OK. That's not going to happen. Um, right. Right. And I'm okay with that. If someone's like, Hey, you're a closed minded asshole. I still will own that the same way I owned it. My, my iPhone might be made by a child labor in China. I get it. I'm guilty. Totally. Totally. But, um, but if it's something worth discussing with somebody worth discussing it, you know, I, I, I also you know, I also will just by nature of time and trying to protect my time, my charge, my life is built around the woman and the children that live on this ranch with me.
Starting point is 00:30:36 And they are the priority. too, on Instagram wants to get into a philosophical, you know, debate around something that I think is just asking, you know, I may not engage there just because I'm not going to take the time because I don't know who she is or who he is or if it's a freaking bot or whatever. But if it is a conversation worth exploring that's not backing up against our values, our kind of family set of rules and values and who this is, who we're going to be. I'm all for exploring the conversation, man. And I'm all for being okay with changing my mind or agreeing to disagree. But, you know, like I said, at the end of the day, my wife and my three kids, I want to be the number one person they go to for anything. I want them to feel comfortable. I'm not saying they have to come to me first with everything, just saying, I want them to feel comfortable. I'm not saying they have to come to me first with everything, just saying I want them to know they can if they want to, that they don't feel uncomfortable doing so. I want them to know that can be stop number one should they want to make it.
Starting point is 00:31:35 How do you keep that door open? right? What do you, how do you, how do you stay in shape? You keep working out, right? You keep eating the right food. Um, you know, I don't think there's any, any, uh, I don't think there's any secrets. I don't think there's any hacks. I think it is the transparent communication all day, every day, as much as I can, you know, go into each day and be conscientious around maintaining my, um, you know, emotional control, maintaining the transparency and communication, maintaining intentional communication, having conversations with them every day. And it's not the surface level stuff. It's just, you know, you know, as soon as they show wonder in something, or as soon as they show curiosity about something, I'm going to explore that as long as they'll go, man. I'm, you know, what do you think about that? Why are you, what brought that to your mind? Like,
Starting point is 00:32:23 cool, man. Well, what do you want to know? Like what? You know, I mean, I just want to explore those things as much as possible. Right. And so if we live in this life where it's consistently like that, then it's just normalized. Right. I always tell parents, you normalize what you normalize. If it is the normal thing from day one that you guys have really interesting conversations around interesting topics and nothing is off limits. As soon as they're curious about something, it's not, you know, you're too,
Starting point is 00:32:49 you're too young. You're too young. We'll talk about that later. We taught you not shutting them down. Um, you just make it a habit where they do cause they're coming to you when they're two, they're three, they're four, they're, Oh, they're coming to you. If you just maintain that and you never get weird about it, you never make them feel weird for asking. It becomes normal. It can be harder with a spouse, I think, to potentially break those whatever chains and barriers they have from their upbringing or previous relationships. And I mean, I had to do the same thing myself and work on that because we weren't a very open household growing up. So I had to be intentional about that too. And as the, as the husband, I think I should, you know, I should try to lead that. And I, and I have, and so that's been a work in progress too,
Starting point is 00:33:33 but you know, now we're 17 years in man. And, and that's pretty good. What, what did your wife do? She takes care of the ranch. She does. What did your wife do? She takes care of the ranch. She does. She does, man.
Starting point is 00:33:46 So she is a farmer. She is a farmer girl at heart. We were very intentional when we first had our very first child, man, when we said, all right, look, if we can do this where you can stay home throughout these formative years for however many kids we have, we'd like you to be able to do it. And that was a struggle financially for a while, but we made it happen, man. So she stayed home. And so now that the kids are in this, you know, kind of life stage where they are really, really, I mean, self-sufficient sounds kind of gives the wrong context, but it really, but it kind of does it too. I mean, they're really freaking self-sufficient. So since they're out just kind of kicking ass every day, my wife doesn't need to, to be right there with them. Um, you know, we've got, we bought a ranch here in February, uh, and she is running the ranch. We, we provide food to local restaurants. Um, and she's
Starting point is 00:34:35 running that whole business. So she just tells me when I got to come, you know, lift something or kill something or fix something or, uh, so she's running the, she's running the show, man. And my kids are running it with her. Um, where's the ranch? We're in the mountains of North Carolina. Oh, oh, wow. Is that why you had to, um, part ways with the, not part ways, but change your role with the three schools with those three campuses? Yeah. Cause those, those camps, they don't need me to run. Um, they are running. And I mean, truly those three campuses yeah because those those camps they don't need me to run um they are running and i mean truly those three campuses the adults that work there are phenomenal human beings um but even greater the young heroes that are there and those families are are amazing and they are running more and more the kids are running more and more of those
Starting point is 00:35:20 campuses every day it got to the point where really my days on campus, I was working in the same capacity I am now. I was working with the other owners around the world. I was spending my time there because on campus, they didn't need me, which is great. That's ideally what you want, right? You want, as a parent, you want your young men to grow up and not need to, they want a relationship with you and that's great, but you don't want them to need you. You don't want them to be 40 years old, depending on you financially living in your basement. Like you want them to be self-sufficient human beings. And then you just have a relationship. Well, that's where I got with the, with those campuses self-sufficient. Um, and so that's great. So yeah, we're out here. How old are your kids?
Starting point is 00:36:03 11, nine and six. And, uh, how are they with the move? Dude, they're, they, I have,
Starting point is 00:36:13 um, I have an 11 year old, nine year old and six year old adults. Wow. And I always say, you know, I, I know,
Starting point is 00:36:22 I know so many, you know, 12 year old adults, 14 year old adults, 16 year old adults. And I know a lot of 40 year old children and 45 year old children and 50 year old children. They are very much adults in every sense of the word. They were it was not even, you know, it was, again, very open conversation. Look, man, here's this ranch. Check this out. I think this could be an amazing opportunity. But what do you guys think? And quite honestly, if they had all looked
Starting point is 00:36:47 at it and broken down and be like, oh, you know, and we would have maybe thought something different. But they were like, that's awesome. This could be great. Like, this is a great opportunity. We would love to try this. You know, it was automatically there was their curiosity. We'd love to figure out we'd love to learn how to raise those animals and those animals and those animals and to sell those animals and then, you know, grow these kinds of things in the garden and to like, that sounds great, dad, let's roll. You know? And so, I mean, it was, there, there's been no, you know, transitional issues at all. They can, they, they don't look at it like, um, that's another thing about their maturity is that do they have friends in California? Of course.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Do you miss their friends? Of course. They also have friends who aren't just 11, 9, and 6. They have friends who are 17. They have friends who are 28. They have friends who are 39. You know, they don't look at themselves as that. They understand the difference between being a kid and adult.
Starting point is 00:37:43 But they go, look, this is somebody I have a relationship with here. And so they know when they're here that they're going to make friends of all ages. They don't have that weird age separation thing. It's amazing you did that. When I moved – I used to live in Berkeley, and I moved to Santa Cruz, which is about 70 miles down the road. And I lost something in Berkeley that I didn't even think about. I lost my friends and by, and by lost my friends, I mean, I'll give you just one example. There was a guy that I rode 20 miles with every Saturday.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Okay. We just rode bicycles. Yeah. Hard, hard ass ride. Every Saturday we met, we hooked up and we rode 20 miles. We came down the hill we stopped at the beer garden we had a beer yeah and and that's gone and when i moved here five years ago and i haven't been on a bicycle since interesting how does that do you is it like you
Starting point is 00:38:36 you miss it do you feel like you substituted something else is it not going to be i'm not really i'm not a missed person i don't miss things but there's a value there that's like um that how much that like what value would I put on that I don't know 20 million dollars yeah totally like it was crazy yeah yeah Cass Cat what was Cass's last name Cass Golden yeah just some dude I fucking met in my neighborhood and for you know two years straight every Saturday we rode 20 miles. I never – that's never going to happen again. But it came and went.
Starting point is 00:39:10 And so there were 30 of those things that were worth fucking $100 million each that I cannot replace here. For sure. But think about that. You've got new things that you're going to do there though too, right? Yes. So if you're looking at it, you said 30 things that are worth a million dollars a piece. That's great, man. And you can always stick with that $30 million right there, or you can come over here.
Starting point is 00:39:32 You still have those million-dollar experiences over here, and then you get 30 new million-dollar experiences over here, too. So I don't think, again, there are certain – so I'm with you. You can – And I do. I have stuff here that I never had there, of I do, I have stuff here that like I never had there of course. Um, and I'm trying to take advantage of those things. So I'm like right down the street from the beach. So make sure like I'm just using the shit out of that. But with kids, it's even more different because my kid has this. So, so the other day I was in
Starting point is 00:39:58 Newport beach and, um, and someone said, Hey, I'll let you live in this house for as long as you want with your family. It's a $6 million home sitting on the beach. Yours free. And the first thing I thought, Matt, was I don't want to take my kids away from their tennis coach. Yeah, yeah. That's like the first fucking thing that popped in my head. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Their tennis coach is cool as shit. He's strict as shit. Then that has just had more value for you. I don't think it's that nuanced, right? I don't think that they're – Yeah, but I would have never – but it's just interesting. I would have never thought of those things. And you picked up your family, and you went to North Carolina.
Starting point is 00:40:40 When you do that, do you weigh those things? I feel like before I had kids, I would have never known to weigh those things like fuck it it's my life who cares yeah but now that i have kids there's like right because you had a network of people you had the person you trained you had your kids had their jujitsu academy right they had the person that they every saturday that they did this with and they had these friends and those things are fucking hard to cultivate yeah yeah people you trust right all of a sudden one day you leave your kids with someone and while you're at the store you're like oh my god i've never left my kids with someone i must really like this person you know what i mean
Starting point is 00:41:13 yeah totally yeah it is it's a big it is it's a big leap um and we're not um we're very intentional in the way we live um and we're very intentional about the way we live. Um, and we're very intentional about the things that we do. So it was, it was not a fly by the seat of our pants. Like once I saw the, once I saw the farm, once I saw the property, saw that it was available, I was pretty quick to get on a plane to come check it out. Um, and just to see, I wanted to physically see, I wanted to see the area I wanted to explore it. I wanted to see if it was everything that I thought it was going to be as far as the physical, you know, obviously the physical structure of it and pictures are doing it justice.
Starting point is 00:41:51 I wanted to see all that stuff. But then when I came back, I mean, we weighed out all of that. It's okay. It's not just the act of moving over here. It is, what are we leaving behind? What are we going to, why are we going to this? Like, what is the big picture and what is the kind of five years out? What do we think things are going to look like? What do we want to do in terms of, you know, again, cultivating new relationships?
Starting point is 00:42:15 How does that look? And I'm, I'm fortunate enough, you know, especially within speaking and, and you know, all the networks that I've gotten to create, I know somebody everywhere. So I know people here. Um, you know, it's not like I didn't have people here that I, there's, I don't think there's any state that I could move to where I don't know somebody, um, which is again, I'm very fine. I'm very fortunate, um, to have had that experience. So, you know, we knew some people here too. And, uh, but we were very intentional. It was very much a planned deal. And again, we went to the kids and said, look, here's kind of what we're thinking. Is there anything we're missing?
Starting point is 00:42:49 I mean, so it just made sense all around, man. And I don't regret a single moment of it. I love everybody still back there. I still stay in contact with anybody. Of course, some people get, people are always going to get pissed. If you do it, people probably got pissed that you left Berkeley. Yeah. You know, there was probably somebody that was mad about that um so of course there were some people that were angry that you know the beer garden where i spent all my money for sure was mad for sure they were yeah a hundred percent uh you know so
Starting point is 00:43:17 of course you got some people that are upset too but that's that's okay um you know i understand and again that's their perspective i'm not holding it against them. This was a good move for us, a needed move. Did you keep your house in California? We did not. Nope. We ended up selling that. We were going to. We were kind of kicking stuff around back and forth, but no, we ended up selling that, which California prices are just – I, are stupid anyways. And so, uh, was that hard? I know this is off subject a little bit, but, uh, was that, um, the thought I'm so attached to homes. They're so hard to get. So when you get, whenever I get one, I'm just like, I'm holding onto this motherfucker. Like I even asked my wife when I lost my job, I'm like, Hey, I don't want to sell any of our homes. Can we live in a van with our kids? She's like, sure. Sure. Sounds good. Yeah. Yeah. Like I do not want to lose a home. Was that hard? It. I think because I have moved so many times, I've deconditioned myself because I get that I fully get it, you know, and I still even when I'm back. So I grew up in Vacaville. Right. So now. Yeah. Yeah. Not all that far for me. Right.
Starting point is 00:44:22 And so and I'm barely ever, you know, I'm barely ever there. And there was a period of time where it was probably close to two decades that I hadn't been there, but I got to go speak there this last year, um, for an initiative around, uh, young people. And, and it was really cool to go back and hadn't been there forever. And I absolutely drove by the couple of houses that I lived in while I was there, you know? And so there's, because, you know, the nostalgia around that and stuff too, but I've moved so many times that I understand, um, you know, I ended up making memories. It's more about the, you know, it's the whole cliche of like, it's the memories you make while you're there and who you're with. And so, um, yes, it was, I loved that house and loved our little, you know, a little mini ranch there, but, um, I knew what we were doing. The big picture outweighed it. When, when I, when I speak to my kids and I speak to all these people on the podcast and I've spoken just to tons of people, um, I start to realize that some people don't value the meaning of words as much as I do. And the reason why I
Starting point is 00:45:16 value the meaning of words is because some things are in my head and some things are out in reality. And when you conflate the two is where almost all confusion begins and there's a breakdown in communication. And even yesterday when I'm listening to Will Willett, who I love to death, he's the handsome dude at PragerU who goes out to the campuses. Have you had him on your podcast? Yeah, I've had Will on a couple times. I can't wait to have him on. I hope he comes on. Good dude, man. I had him on just him and I, and then I had him on – he actually came on a couple of times. I can't wait to have him on. I hope he comes on. Good dude, man. I had him on just him and I, and then I had him on.
Starting point is 00:45:48 He actually came on like a month ago to speak with the young men of Apogee. And I want to have you come on too. I think that'd be phenomenal. But yeah, Will's a good guy. And then we were supposed to, remember how I was supposed to, I was saying I wanted to try to connect with you when I was in the Bay. At the street parking thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Will and I were supposed to be speaking at an event that weekend, um, there in the area. So he and I were supposed to be doing an event together and the event ended up getting canceled all, all together. So, um, but yeah, good guy. A video came out yesterday where, where he conflates, he uses, and a ton of people do this and I don't understand why they're doing it. They're using the word gender instead of the word sex. Yeah. So gender is – and every time I hear the conversation, I'm like it's so obvious to me what's going on. Gender is your imagination.
Starting point is 00:46:36 It's something you can't share with anyone. It's in between your ears. Yep. So and sex is something on the outside that you and I can look at and be like, OK, that frog is a it's sex is male or that frog has both male and female parts or whatever. What do you think's going on with society that to you see smart people talking and they can't they're not defining words? Yeah. And so the communication is just missing. Yeah. And even when I bring it up on my show, people are like, oh, you're so stupid, Seven. Oh, it doesn't matter. Or they try to poo-poo me.
Starting point is 00:47:11 I'm like, no, this is – No words. Your imaginary dragon in your head is different than – That's – yeah. Than this horny-toed lizard sitting on this rock. It's not a dragon. It's a lizard. It's a Northern California lizard. God, it's amazing.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Words – I don't think this is accidental that we've got you know people and it's coming and it's coming down specifically um intentionally hard from academia uh you know and again i don't think that's unintentional words matter because words become your thoughts your thoughts when you say not intentionally i mean there's people trying to fuck shit up. Oh, I very much believe so. Otherwise why get into, this is a silly sort of thing,
Starting point is 00:47:50 right? We processed animals. I have a processing facility on site at our ranch, right? So we had to process some animals yesterday. My kids wanted to be a part. That means turn them into food processed, turn them into food.
Starting point is 00:48:01 That's exactly right. That we started the day they were alive and well, we had been feeding them. They ended the day they are feeding us or somebody else. And so my kids want to be part of that, that process. They're all, they've been a part since we've been here, a part of taking care of and raising and the birthing and they've done all this, but they haven't gone into the processing hut yet to see that part. But they were curious and they go, you know what? We want to see this part. I think we're ready for it. We want to see it. We understand it. You know, we want to see what's going on. Right. And so we went in there yesterday and, and, um, it was just,
Starting point is 00:48:33 they were curious on the whole thing, but they were curious every time we were processing one, um, we were doing rabbits yesterday and you can't tell a boy or a girl very easily, but as you start to process it then it becomes very easy and so they were just very interested on okay is it a boy is it a girl um there wasn't a is it do you think it identifies as a do you think it like this is all imaginary crap so i and i do think it's very intentional that you we've got people in academia specifically. And the goal of especially, quote unquote, higher ed right now is not. And again, I'm painting a broad stroke. So, yes, there's good professors. Yes, there's good people.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Yes, there's good people working at a lot of these universities. But, you know, academia has become this really weird culture of mumbo jumbo and confusion and all of this, you know, philosophy in area. I'm all for philosophy, but not in philosophy when there's things that are black and white, you know, like you said, all this made up shit. And it's just, is this a Ferrari or or is this a van that crashed because we have to bring the jaws of life to it because a certain jaws of life will open up this van and one will open up this ferrari it's like the same thing but but why are those people um are those people caterpillars and i'm a butterfly that they can't tell the distinction am i more enlightened than them that they can't tell the distinction? Am I more enlightened than them that they can't tell the distinction between their thoughts and reality?
Starting point is 00:50:07 Do you know what I mean by that? Like, I know red doesn't mean stop. I know that you and I have agreed upon it so that we don't get in an accident. I'm willing to participate in that lie. It's cool. But I'm not gonna lie to myself and red actually means stop.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Yeah, no, I think we just have a lot of broken. I think we have, I mean, I think you're either evil or broken. I think if you're, if you're perpetuating all of this stuff, you're either doing it intentionally to confuse the shit out of people and make sure that there is a natural division to make sure that you are confusing the next year. Like my mission is to build strong young people. So we don't have to fix so many fucking broken ones that are older, right? I want to build strong people from the ground up. They can't be just, they've got this super solid foundation, so they can't be cracked. They can't be messed with. And then when they get older, they're strong people. They're the leaders that we need. I
Starting point is 00:50:52 think that's a far more efficient way to go about it than trying to fix the people broken later on. So I think these people are either evil enough to want to send that confusion down the line and really just create this perpetual influx of confused, sad individuals, or they are already these confused and sad individuals. I don't know anybody that is perpetuating the gender silliness and the gender nonsense. Um, who's that? I would say he's a happy person, man. Right. Right. Like I used to be one of them though. Um, person man right right like i used to be one of them though um i used to be one of them in the sense that i towed i towed the line but but but i but i would i would say i was far from evil um you know like like i've always been the guy who would stop and pick pitch a pick up a hitchhiker or um i you know held the door open or open or stood up anytime someone came to the table.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Or if I'm in line, even if what you bought behind me, if I'm at the store and I only have $20 and you're at the cash register and this place only takes cash, I don't make you leave your shit there. I say, fuck it. I'm buying this dude's shit. This is fucked up. So I think there's probably far few that are in that evil range. And maybe there are – but maybe it's fear. Right. And it's not like there's a non, there's, you know, the people that aren't happy that are perpetuating this, but I think so many people live in fear and maybe that was a part of that. I think I was asleep. I don't know if that's a, maybe it was scared. I feel like I was asleep at the wheel. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:52:24 You know what I mean? I feel like. Yeah. And the wheel. Maybe. You know what I mean? I feel like. Yeah. And just kind of following the status quo. Yeah. Like you told me being a vegan is healthy. I did it. You tell me being a carnivore is healthy.
Starting point is 00:52:33 I just did it. Like just. Yeah. Yeah. And see, I don't, I think to me. Do you think that's the vast majority? Did there just. It is the vast majority.
Starting point is 00:52:41 I think, and I think that is somewhat of a fear base because you don't want to challenge somebody else's, you know, what they told you, what they told you. Yeah, I wanted to be liked for sure. You want to be liked. You want to value somebody else's opinion far more than ever developing your own. And then you go through, you know, it's that whole, you know, you don't even realize you're a, you don't even realize you're a slave. You don't realize you're in a cage and you think the birds flying outside the cage are the crazy ones you know it's that whole oh right and so i think that's like you know i said the the words words are the easiest if as long as you're injecting fear into people and you have them valuing somebody else's opinions more than taking the time for them to create their own.
Starting point is 00:53:26 You don't give them the opportunity to create their own through any kind of civil discourse. You don't let them understand how to explore logic. And then you start jumbling these words, like you're saying, with gender and sex, and you start making things, you know, words matter because words become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your beliefs. Your beliefs become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your beliefs become your actions. Your actions become your habits, and your habits become your character. So it starts. That foundation is your words.
Starting point is 00:53:51 And if you start making words confusing and not matter, well, you're shaking the foundation of character from the get-go. Man. It's strange man and so i don't you know um there is a there's a peace of mind that comes and not even engaging with some of the silly some of this stuff where it's like you know i don't know if there was a whole group of, a whole group of adults that was, you know, it was the, we believe in Santa Claus society. Like, I'm not going to join the society because I don't want to take my time to, to try to argue back and forth on if Santa's real or not. I'm just like, dude, it's not a real thing. I don't want to waste my time on this kind of where I look at the whole
Starting point is 00:54:42 gender thing, man. Like, I don't, I get that there's some people that are really confused and broken on it. If somebody asks me my opinion on it, I'm going to say, I don't even think it's an opinion-based topic. Here it is, but I'm not going to spend my time engaging back and forth to God bless the people that will. Cause to me, that's just, that's a waste of fricking waste of time and energy. To me, that's just, that's a waste of fricking waste of time and energy. It's crazy, but it is the backbone of academia right now. I mean, there's so much of this, so much of this conversation, you know? So it's scary.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Well, it's one of the many reasons I don't, I'm not bullish on, you know, quote unquote higher ed for so many people. I don't think it's needed, but I think there's so many agendas. And by the way, it gets pushed into your K through 12 now too. And it's going to be so, um, that's just, that's one of the, that's some of the more obvious stuff that I think parents can avoid by not doing the traditional conveyor belt schools is the agendas. And then you got the sneaky stuff is in terms of like your habits, you know? And so, um, it's a weird ass world man where those are the things that that we end up talking about did your kids cry when they were in the processing plant nope no nope they didn't um but no did you watch them like i'm assuming so sorry i'm making the
Starting point is 00:55:59 the assumption that they didn't go in there right away because it is heavy. Yep. Um, we want it to be. Lives are ending in there, right? Lives are ending. That's exactly right. So we want it to be efficient with it first, before we even just made sure they knew like, Hey, if you guys ever want to be a part of that, come on in. Right. So we made sure we were good because it, that that's a skill in and of itself, figuring out how to do it, how to do it properly. Um, you know, so we made made sure we were good because that's a skill in and of itself, figuring out how to do it, how to do it properly. You know, so we made sure that we were good at it first. And then, you know, we kind of offered it up and they're like, that's interesting. Did you cry at all? Did you cry when you went and saw it?
Starting point is 00:56:37 No, I didn't. No. Your wife? She didn't. And she was she was unsure. I was pretty sure. I mean, I've got've got you know i've gone hunting i feel dressed animals i've i've had that experience a little bit um we've had the conversations around you know being being thankful and raising animals humanely and and being thankful for the food they provide and we've had those conversations my wife and i with our our entire family um she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to witness it and not be emotionally you know she
Starting point is 00:57:06 did okay but she did okay um and uh and so that's what i was more worried about with the kids is like look it's different you understand you have an understanding they know exactly what's going on they know they understand the ethics behind all of it and why we do what we do and um the health component you know those are all conversations they get that whole thing, but they've never. There's a difference between that and then seeing it, you know, and so they've had they've seen me like I've had to off a couple of chickens that were sick or hurt and getting attacked. And like they've been out there for that and they've been OK. And so this is a whole different deal. So I just made sure before every step, I'm like, OK, here's what this is going to be. Here's what this is going to look like. If you don't want to see this part, it's okay to go back, go back there.
Starting point is 00:57:49 So my middle, they both, you know, like the rabbits are a specific process. So like they, they were all three were okay. When I actually dispatched the first kill, the breaking of the neck, very quick rabbit feels nothing, just boom. It's done. They were all okay with that. But then you got to bleed. You got to bleed the rabbit out. My middle didn't want to see the first one I was doing. She's like, ah, I don't think so. And so she went around the other side. I'm like, no sweat. We did it. And she sort of started to tear up. And then she, but she told my wife, no, it's more like, I feel like I'm missing out. And we're like, you're not missing out. You'll have plenty of time. She's like, okay, I'm going to do it for the next one. And she came back around to watch the second one.
Starting point is 00:58:26 And they watched, they watched us do like five yesterday. I mean, I mean, it's healthy. You're, you're, we're just, I mean, the way I see the world, the way I see myself is I'm just a mirror. So anytime something is suffering or it's life ends, I feel it's like a piece of me. I feel that. It's like a piece of meat. I feel that. Sure. Totally. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Absolutely. It's not, you know, we try to, one of the rules in our house, you know, the 11 kind of values that we have on there. One of those is to be an emotional ninja. And we kind of phrase it in that kind of funny terms. But that's the whole thing is to understand that emotions are not bad things. They're good things. They're things that are valuable, but you're, you've got to understand with intentionality, how to control those emotions versus being controlled by the emotions. And so this is one of those things where it's like, look, this is natural emotion to feel there's a loss of life that is happening here. And so there's a balance between
Starting point is 00:59:22 feeling for the loss of life and respecting that versus being super grateful and the gratitude that we have around being able to provide for our family. And, you know, so it's figuring out how to balance that out. And people, oh, that's too high level of concept for kids. That's horseshit. They get that, man. In a lot of ways, they get it more than we do if we don't dumb it out of them um and it doesn't matter if they don't get it either doesn't matter it's irrelevant you're right and they may get it one way now and they may get it one way when they're 40 and then they may get it one way when they're they're gonna they're gonna get it one way when they're when they have their heart broken when their toy breaks then when they're 16 and their girlfriend dumps and that's going to be a different kind of
Starting point is 01:00:03 experience with it and then when their mommy and daddy die when they're 60 years old that's going to be another it's going to evolve right you're exactly right yeah you're just right it doesn't it does not matter yep i loved with reckless abandon as a kid from kindergarten to the girls in kindergarten to, to my wife and my kids. And because of that, I, I, I, I hurt a lot, um, emotionally and, um, and I tell people, and that's how I became an emotional Ninja. Yeah. That's how I became so intimate with emotions. It's, it's like what you were saying. It's like working out. If you avoid getting hurt or, or like, um, the example I like to give is there was a girl in college and one of them, and she was, she was a foreign exchange student and she was leaving in
Starting point is 01:00:53 two weeks. And one of my friends was in love with her. I'm like, dude, let's go to that party where that chick's at. He's like, dude, she's leaving in two weeks. I'm like, so what? I'm like, just fucking make every second count with her. He goes, no, I don't want to be hurt. I'm so, I like her so much. I'm like, dude, we could die in an earthquake tomorrow you got your fucking mind go over there and fucking like dive in and get your heart broken who gives a shit that's an inch and that's right like oh man no i agree do you think it's um so mine was out of ignorance that's why i did it i was out of ignorance have it has it has that it. I was out of ignorance. Has that process shifted for you? So now you still love with reckless abandon.
Starting point is 01:01:30 You have the potential to get hurt, but does that allow you to then take that and go put a perspective to that hurt and go, look, that's just part of the process. I'm okay. Yes. Because you've actually had that experience. the nerve. You don't have like, because you've actually had that experience. And because I'm a butterfly and not a caterpillar, I can watch things now. Yeah. I can watch my, I'm not confused by my thought. I'm not confused about what's going on in here. I'm not saying I don't ever get overwhelmed and taken over by it. I'm not saying when someone cuts me off, I never flip anyone off, but 99% of the time I watch that
Starting point is 01:02:04 and I watch it then turn into say hi to them. And then I watch it turn into, oh, I'm glad we didn't get into that. I just watch. I'm a I can watch now. I'm a cat. I'm a butterfly. I can watch the dumb ass caterpillar inside of me. And so emotions, but emotions move fast. So they'll grab you if you're not. You got to be on guard. Yeah, absolutely. But that's hyper aware. That's, that's, um, I think that is a level of self mastery that I think all of us can, can get to and should try to get to that ability to detach. We have, we've had, um, but you won't cultivate that unless you, you, every time you get hurt, it's a rep. You have to be appreciative and be like, okay, I learned something a little bit from that one. You've got to be intentional about it. That's exactly it. I had Carlos Mendez, Leif Babin, some of the Echelon front guys. Had them come talk to my staff at a few of my schools, which was really cool. Carlos did a phenomenal job. We've had Leif on the Apogee calls, did a great job with the young guys.
Starting point is 01:03:02 And I like that. One of my favorite things they talk about is that ability to detach as a leader you know the fact that we're all leaders and is the as a leader we have to have that ability to do what you said and kind of like what you said you know kind of the butterfly and you can kind of watch all of that you got to be able to remove yourself emotionally from the situation so that you can go okay well what is what is the correct response as As far as I see it right now, without emotions, clouding that whole, that whole thing, but it's, you're right. You got to put in the reps, man, got to put in the reps and nobody, people aren't just, people aren't,
Starting point is 01:03:34 people aren't proactive. People are not proactive about the way they live, the way they think everybody's reactive. Again, it goes back to that kind of like you're in that cage and it's the, it's the fear. And if somebody say, I'm just going to go along with the status quo, I'm going to, you know, people are reactive. And I just, I think that's, I think that's part of the reason people are so freaking, you know. If you, if you're wondering if you're doing bad parenting or good parenting, if you're on the more reactive side, then you're bad parenting. That's like a litmus test. I don't know if it's a hundred percent true, but being non-reactive is the secret in my book to parenting just lots of just like oh shit just watch my own noise in my head don't do shit
Starting point is 01:04:12 don't project that onto my kids be chill be chill man and one of the honestly one of the favorite so i've gotten to do i don't know what, what do I do? I've done 150, 150 some odd episodes, I think of the, of the podcast. Um, I remember your, your episode 89, you, I got, there's specific ones that I remember very, very specific, but that is one piece of that episode where you talked about how parents need to not react on certain things. And that is their job is to, you know, and I think you framed it some way of like, you got to stop, you know, a kid falls down, they get hurt. Your job is not to react to that.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Your job is to stop, to look around and make sure they're not in danger, make sure no bears are coming out of the woods to come eat them. And you don't rob them of that rep of getting that air squat to stand up. You don't rob them of that opportunity to dust themselves off and to see themselves as resilient, right? That was, I think it's one of the most powerful things anybody's ever said on the podcast. I could not agree with it any more than I do.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I think that's powerful. I shit you not. I'm not saying this to be fucking cute and neither is Matt. I'm not fucking around. My kid, I walked him every day and he fell down 500 times a day and while you kept your kid in a stroller or in a pack in the front because you were in a hurry to get somewhere or because grandma and grandpa or you ran over and picked your kid up my kid did 500 air squats a day when your kid didn't by the time my kid was three years old he had done uh 15
Starting point is 01:05:47 45 000 air squats and your kid had only done 500 how much better is my kid than your kid i'm saying it my wife's gonna hate me for that but it's the fucking truth my kid is better than your kid because he did 44 500 more air squats than yours in his first two and a half years and i didn't have to do shit i had jeremy kinnick on here the um he's big into homeschooling and he wrote something on his instagram that fucking exploded my brain because people ask me all the time what should i do to start training my kid and i'll write them out these long things but jeremy said it in one sentence what do you say when you're in the first six years of your kid's life, if they're outside 80% of the time, that's all you need to do. I was like, oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:06:33 It's true. 80% of the waking hours, your kid should be fucking outside. But, Sevan, it snows here. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. Yep. That's the gold standard. He's going to get strong. He's going to get smart. He's going to learn math. He That's the gold standard. He's going to get strong. He's
Starting point is 01:06:46 going to get smart. He's going to learn math. He's going to see bugs. He's going to get biology. He's going to get history. He's going to get social interaction. He's going to get everything. If you have your kid outside 80% of the time, I was like, wow, it's that fucking easy. It's that easy. And he's going to start to develop what's going on in here. He's going to start to develop that ability to be resilient on his own. He's going to start outside. That's right. He's outside and he's going to fall down. He's going to get hurt. And he's going to be like, Oh shit, nobody else is around. I'm not going to drag this out. Like, let's go. Cause I got playing to do. I got a mission to accomplish. He's going to see dad help a woman with her groceries. He's going to see dad pick him up when a, when a dog barks at
Starting point is 01:07:20 him, he's going to see, and he's going to learn all the nuances of, I love it, man. I love it. So good. So good, man. Yeah. And that's, that's it. That's the intent. The intentionality around parenting doesn't mean complexity. It just means, no, it's, it's not about adding more and more shit. It's about stripping away the bullshit. Yeah. It's not adding, it's stripping it away. It's about getting back to the basic stuff that's exactly hey even at 50 i always tell people now my life is only my life gets better every time i get rid of something yep it's stripping it's about taking throwing shit away strip it away strip strip it away i was so uh you know brent uh ben greenfield i know of him i don't know him okay so ben uh he's the guy he
Starting point is 01:08:07 does the voiceover for for he's a is he is he comedian no ben is um oh he's the dude with the two kids he snorts tobacco that dude two guys he might man he does all kinds of crazy stuff he'll do some weird stuff in the name of like health and fitness do some weird experiment yes okay i know he is super ultra fit dude he's a super smart guy um like almost too almost too smart where it's like oh maybe you're not human maybe um but like interesting dude but a super cool guy um and he reached out and he's got two twins and he's gonna um but yes i know in the apogee program right and so i was like that's awesome that's awesome, man. That sounds great. Here's how it gets going. And what I, what I thought was super interesting because he's very intentional,
Starting point is 01:08:52 obviously about being proactive because he is he's always trying something. He's experimenting with something. He's experimenting on himself. He's documenting. He's like, he's just very, very intentional. Shot me this email. I was like, Hey, I want to get this going. I'm like, all right, cool. Here's what's happening. And then immediately it was his assistant that was coming in even just to talk about how do you like, how do you pay for this program? How do you get this? It wasn't even him. He is outsourced. He's outsourced. Even that, even just that basic, I'm signing my kids up for something. He's like, cool, man. Well, this isn't
Starting point is 01:09:25 something that needs my direct attention. Here you go. And the more and more people I interact with that I know are really, really proactive about their life and very intentional about what they do, the more I'm seeing that too. They strip away everything that is taking time away from what they deem is necessary. And I think that's a i think that's a pretty intense awesome skill to cultivate um i had my uh instagram account shut down three days ago i was gonna ask you did you yeah yeah they just it just gone and um i have this other instagram account and i actually thought this morning maybe i I'm not going to run my own Instagram account anymore. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Yeah. I mean, easy enough to do. Yeah, maybe I'll just give my Instagram account to the person who does the Instagram account for the podcast. Yeah. I mean, again, it's just pros and cons. What is the – is there the the pluses the minuses what is is there anything you're gaining out of that or is it easy enough to just you know get i just like it because i can communicate oh shit speaking of which i can't fuck so how about the fucking irony of this first of all i want to show you something
Starting point is 01:10:41 really quick i want to show you something real quick this is some fucked up shit you're i'm about to show you i i hope you're going to show you something real quick. This is some fucked up shit I'm about to show you. I hope you're going to be like, Sevan, you're a dipshit. You're spelling my name wrong. But I want to show you something here. Oh, no, you're probably right. I want to show you something.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Let's see. Instagram. Okay, so here's Instagram.com. Oh, look at it. It's got your old account in there yeah oh man how am i gonna do this how am i gonna do this i can't go to any of your fucking account anyway when i type in your name yeah your account your account won't even show up m-a-t-t-b-e-A-U-D-R-E-A-U. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:26 Your account won't pop up, but four or five fake accounts will pop up, and they have shitloads of followers. Yep. One of the accounts has 5,000 followers, and this morning you DMed me asking me if I want to get involved with Bitcoin with you. Yep, exactly. Do you remember doing that? It sure as hell wasn't me, dude. I know. Fucking crazy. Exactly. Do you remember doing that? It sure as hell wasn't me, dude. I know. I know. Fucking crazy.
Starting point is 01:11:46 There's new ones. There's new each week. And I know I'm not the only person that has that going on, but there are new accounts each week and people will always, you know, send it. What sucks is that they are, they're DMing people talking about, you know, getting involved in, in, uh, crypto and all these different things, man. And it's, um, you know, I feel bad. Some people are jumping in and they're like, Oh, interesting. You know, whatever.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Hey, they've completely rebuilt your account. It has all your posts and shit. All my posts, dude's got my pictures. Like I don't, it's, it's amazing. And I've reported, I've reported a ton of them. Instagram always comes back and goes, they're not violating any sort of standard, you know, but I post a fucking Harriet Tubman quote quote and it's like we're fact checking this if you keep posting things like this we're going to shut your account down um that's i didn't get any warnings by the way i didn't get any warnings no no i asked one of my friends i was like he's one of my i asked my
Starting point is 01:12:39 friends i'm like fuck i have no idea why they shut me down he goes dude everything you post is the reason they shut you down. Probably. Yeah, probably, man. Totally. I mean, that's. I want to read this to you. So the DM came in and says, hello, brother.
Starting point is 01:12:55 And I thought it was you. And I said, hey, they shut down my other account. And I said that because I thought you were just like checking in because to make sure it was a new account. And then you wrote to me. It happens sometimes, bro. Sorry to hit you up from the blue and then i'm like oh fuck i have a podcast with him in a half hour he's not hitting me up from the blue i'm hoping you could lend me your time for a brief chat i'm contacting you in respect to a business proposal i might believe you might find industry and then i know it's not you so i write back of course anything for you man then he goes on to tell me about how he wants me to
Starting point is 01:13:25 get into bitcoin i said dude anything to help you out i'll call and we can talk and now he just wrote this to me no need for a call my idea is to build a solid capital base for investors by helping trades and blah blah i guess you and then he always writes at the end i guess you'd like to know more oh my god so it's not this dude's not even american i mean it's not an american thing no no it's not yeah but it's look it that's so funny and he's got my name spelled right and then he's got a dot and an underscore afterwards yeah good eyes you saw that so wow dude that's so yeah i mean so it's it's amazing um and again i'll report it man and instagram's like oh they're not violating anything okay i reported it and they said and they said is this a celebrity
Starting point is 01:14:10 account and i said yes celebrity account and then it kicked me back like for some like they wouldn't let me report you as a celebrity account i had to put uh something else i was like yeah dude he he has he's he's affiliated with schools in fucking 26 countries, 300 schools. I think that counts as a celebrity account. No, you got to have the check. You got to have fake titties and a big old booty. That's right. Well, maybe that's what I got to get, man.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Maybe that's next on the agenda. I know. It's crazy, dude. It's crazy. That sucks that you got shut down. Well, the only reason it sucks is because that blue check mark you know i when when a blue check mark pops into someone's inbox like like i had patrick bet david on do you know who that is i've had patrick on yeah okay and like
Starting point is 01:14:57 you would have never fucking responded to me i bet you if i didn't have a blue check mark yeah maybe yeah and like and what what an honor it was to have him so um we're gonna um tim and i are depending on tim's schedule uh we may go out to florida and um and do patrick's uh podcast oh he moved the whole he moved the whole shebang there yeah he did yeah yeah he's a he's a cool dude man that guy's a good that guy's a good guy he was on the podcast and i remember one of the most poignant things he said um which i appreciated you know i appreciate it greatly too he's like look if you if you were talking about schools and he's like look if you're gone through this conveyor belt school system and you peaked
Starting point is 01:15:38 in high school you lost at life you suck suck. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. And I was like, yep, that's it, man. So many people resting on, oh, God, I want – because I get that all the time from parents, man. But I had such a great time in high school, man. I just – prom was great. The football games were great. And then they don't talk about how they haven't really dug the next 30 years of their life.
Starting point is 01:16:03 They haven't been super stoked about that, but shit, they'll hang on to those four years and want to put their kids back through that same thing to get those experiences, sacrificing the rest of their life for it. And Patrick called that out. So I appreciated that. Hey,
Starting point is 01:16:17 I have friends who peaked in high school. For sure. Tons of them. I never even thought of it worded like that. What great. 4.0 went to Berkeley, went to stanford went to ucla and then and then and then their their lives you know you said something in that podcast too that was i don't know if it really affected me but it was my life but i think i was too stupid for it to affect me thank god or too naive but basically
Starting point is 01:16:46 everything was put on my education and up until third grade i was the smartest kid in my school like i like i was fucking like a genius and i knew it and i was smarter than everyone and then in the third grade something happened and it went to a steep decline all the way to my senior year i was the dumbest kid in the school something just happened and i fell behind and i could never get caught up and in my even though i loved school i loved the social part i hated academia and it was brutal on me it destroyed my relationship with my mom my dad it fucking made life miserable right and then i ended up um no one ever once was like, hey, don't worry about that. You might be good at this.
Starting point is 01:17:29 Right. That's it. And you're a brilliant human being. And no one ever said – not one time did anyone ever – and when you were talking yesterday in that podcast, I was like, holy fuck. It's like this. I love my dad. My parents gave me love, which is like I'm so lucky, like real love my dad. My parents gave me love, which is like, I'm so lucky, like real love. Um, but my dad, for my dad in my life has told me a thousand times the difference of how to use lay
Starting point is 01:17:52 and lie. Cause I use them wrong. I lie down, I lay down, but he always says the exact same thing. And he's never tried something new, which makes me realize he doesn't even care if I learn it. That's not – it's – Yeah. It's just autopilot nonsense bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, just his habit. It also should eventually get everybody to realize that it probably doesn't matter that much either. Well, I'd like to have mastery over the English language.
Starting point is 01:18:22 I appreciate him taking the time but um but you're right it's uh lay in line but you're happy and you don't get along with your wife and your kids think you're a shit bag oh you know what i would trade that out and you don't know the difference between and you use the word sex and gender interchangeably and add to the confusion that's the other thing too there's no homeostasis it's not just that you don't know the difference you interchange gender and sex you're actually adding to the problem. Yeah, that's exactly right. You're adding to the confusion. You're adding to the confusion.
Starting point is 01:18:51 And, you know, and going back to what you're saying earlier, that is third, that third grade, which is super, so it's right about that eight years old-ish. grade, which is super. So it's right about that eight years old ish. What happens is there's a, there's kind of these, you know, developmental phases. So it's roughly about eight years old. You kind of step into another sort of developmental phase in terms of learning and your capacity to think at a little bit of a higher level and kind of what you're interested in and figuring some things out about yourself and you kind of stepping into this. And so that is, and almost always subconsciously, but it's about the time where a young person realizes if they're in a conveyor belt school system, they kind of realize that they're in this specific game or the specific system that they're playing. They kind of come to that realization right about there.
Starting point is 01:19:41 And I've seen this, you know, and people, Oh, where's the, where's the, where's the studies around this? I don't know. Maybe there's some, maybe there aren't. Um, I'll tell you, my studies are two decades in academia with thousands and thousands of young people and having this conversation with parents and young people over and over and over again. There's my study. If you don't, that was a teacher in private schools. He was a teacher in public schools. He was an administrator in private schools. He was an administrator in public schools. He was involved with Stanford University for people who do need credentials. Okay, go on. Sorry. So at eight years old. Oh, totally. So it's right about that time where they start to realize that game and they just start to figure out where they are in that game. So they'll start to take on, Ooh, okay. I've kind
Starting point is 01:20:19 of, and I, I remember, I remember figuring that out and going, okay, cool. I can play this game. I know how to do this. And so I got my, you know, I got all my good grades because I figured out very early. Well, there's a specific game. There's a specific way to get your grades on this kind of stuff. Not that I learned anything. I was just, I just had the wherewithal to go, okay, well, here's how you play the game to get the marks that makes all the adults happy. That makes the teacher go, you're a good little boy. It makes your parents go way to go. You're so smart. Like I just figured out how to play that game. But there are people who at that point go, Ooh, I don't really get the game or I get the game. I don't really give a shit about the game. Right. And so you got all of these kinds of different, they happens right around then.
Starting point is 01:20:57 And it usually ends up impacting kind of the trajectory of how well you do in school, which as you allude to kind of, you know, plays into all of these other relationships. And the point that I always try to make is look, if we're in a system that is inherently putting people in that game, whether you learned to play the game or not, people say, well, I went to school and I, you know, conveyor belt school. I turned out fine. My kids are going there and turn out fine. First of all, fine sucks. Second of all,
Starting point is 01:21:24 you can be fine in that system because you figured out how to play the game and it doesn't mean you know shit. And actually you still just stayed in there and you developed all kinds of bad habits that don't actually transfer into anything successful later on in life. And that's, that's a problem. And default default setting for a human being is genius default setting. If you're not messing them up, if you're not putting in some sort of physical abuse, you're not putting in medications and a bunch of garbage that messes up a kid's biology. If you're not screwing with all that kind of stuff, genius is the natural default. So you don't believe what Matt's saying right now.
Starting point is 01:22:07 At least recognize this. We started the show where he defined what an educator is, and he defined an educator as someone who believes in other people at their foundation. And so what he's letting you know right now is that he thinks the default status of all human beings is genius. So even if you don't believe that, we already know that he's he's an educator now who the fuck would you want to be around someone who thinks that or someone who doesn't think that they're both they're they're both thoughts they're both just thoughts i'll be with the guy who thinks that everyone's a genius at their default okay sorry go on potential these are the people you want around your fucking kids they believe in you and your kids will live up to that shit and this sorry sorry i had to know man i appreciate that
Starting point is 01:22:50 very much because the system of schooling the system of schooling the soulless i'm not talking about teachers again i had good teachers good administrators there are so many good humans out there i support all of you but the system of conveyor belt schooling does not care if your young hero is a genius or not. They don't care. They don't make it. There's no distinction. It's kind of like that computer, the computer can't, um, you know, the computer's always going to be about answers, right? The computer's never going to say, I don't know. Well, that soulless system is going to say, look, here is the narrow definition of how you do well within the confines of our walls. And so unless you are playing this game of being blindly obedient,
Starting point is 01:23:34 of following directions, of changing your thought process at the sound of a bell, of going where you're told, when you're told to be there of regurgitating this specific information at a very specific time, very conveyor belt style, unless you do that, well, then we're going to start kicking out these things saying something is wrong with you or you're behind or just as dangerous. They'll tell you, oh, you're extremely smart. And what that usually means is you're good at regurgitating academia and you're really, really obedient. Oh, you're a student. And guess what?
Starting point is 01:24:12 Those model students a lot of times end up having a really hard time when they go into the real world. It doesn't give a shit that they got straight A's. Yeah. Once resilience and they want to see competence and they want to see, you know, your ability to actually do something, your ability to adapt. Well, you haven't developed any of those. You have. Well well you know what these these these people at the top of these fucking companies though matt they have their own vernacular that they learned when they became a stanford nba and and of course they're dipshits
Starting point is 01:24:41 and they don't know how to run their company, but they know how to run their company. They've taught themselves their own language. I'll give you a perfect example. The two most eminently capable fucking human beings who work at CrossFit Inc., which I think CrossFit is one of the greatest gifts ever given to humanity by Greg Glassman. It's a methodology and an ideology and a lifestyle that allows people to become independent. It's the seeds of all independence to make you cubable, to let your DNA express itself in the most fullest essence ever. They have fucking – I don't know if they're morons. I was going to say that out of emotional frustration. They have people at the top who don't have the intellectual capacity to understand what they're running. And they're only there because of their degrees and their previous experiences in the world of the people who bought the company.
Starting point is 01:25:31 You know what I mean? They're Harvard, Yale, Stanford, MBAs. They don't even know what they don't know. They're so – I'll give you the – they're so fucking crazy. They think they bought Harley-Davididson a motorcycle manufacturing plant that's there to make money and sell a brand but they bought the fucking hell's angels there is no motorcycle plant there's not it's not at all it's a fucking it's just a lifestyle of dudes wearing leather jackets delivering meth up and down the western coast of the united states that's all it
Starting point is 01:26:01 is yeah and um and they don't even have the intellectual capacity to realize it. So they can't make use of it. They can't deliver the meth. They can't get it done. And so I get a little, is that true what you said? Are the kids who come out, we're stuck being entrepreneurs. We can never be cogs. I can never become the CEO, even though I would be better a thousand times better at it, better in every way, help more people make more money, do better for the world, be more honest, everything. But I can't because I don't speak their language of, uh, um, return on investment ROI. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just the heart. How do I, how do I jump that? Like
Starting point is 01:26:40 we're, you're telling kids like, um, I'm just pushing back here a little bit. You're telling kids, Hey, you don't have to do this route, but if you don't, you can't you can't play with those kids. You got to make your own shit. And the reality is you could do – if you kind of foster that entrepreneurial DNA, right? And I get – we get a lot of people pushing back on our schools saying, because we have every one of our kids start something. They all start businesses. Five years old to 18 years old, they're starting. Yeah, you have a business fair, which is amazing. Exactly, right? old to 18 years old, they're starting. You have a business fair, which is amazing. Exactly. Right. So they're either, they're either starting one every year or they're taking their existing business. It's making some money into perpetuity. So when they're doing that, we get a
Starting point is 01:27:33 lot of pushbacks. Oh, you just think everybody should be an entrepreneur. And I don't think that's the case. I don't think everybody's got the entrepreneurial DNA. I don't think everybody should be an entrepreneur, but I think if you have that, you have more of a chance of understanding what your gifts are, what that genius actually is. Right. You actually have some self-awareness and some self-confidence. So then if you want to go play into that corporate, you want to go play in that corporate game. OK, well, I can go play that corporate game. I can see where I fit in there. I'm freely choosing to play this corporate game. I'll freely choose to deal with all the bureaucratic BS. I'll freely choose to deal with the delusional
Starting point is 01:28:11 Harvard MBA that's running the show. I'll freely choose to try to figure out how to navigate and adapt in there, or I can freely choose to do the other thing. I think if you go through the conveyor belt school, you're more apt to just, first of all, you have no idea how to run your own shit. Second of all, you'll just go in there and you'll be the cog in there and you'll never actually figure out what your genius is. You'll never actually be super, you know, you don't get to that piece. That's that self-awareness, that happiness, that self-confidence. You don't get there because you're just continuously going along the path that somebody else has written for you. Yeah. Yeah. I stay here in your own life. You know, other people are writing the scripts.
Starting point is 01:28:50 They're making you a background character in your own life versus over here. I've got the pen. I'm writing my story. And if I want to write my story where I go in and work for some dipshit, I can write my story that way. That's great. Right. Or I can write it where I'm the hero of my own story and go do my other thing. But I don't think you can come through. I won't say can't. I think it's much more difficult to be trained in the habits of 12 years, 16 years, whatever it is, of follow somebody else's script. And then at the end of that go, okay, now I'm going to write my own script. I think that's a much more difficult thing. You know, I really do. I don't think that happens very often. And those people I see who are plugged in as those cogs,
Starting point is 01:29:35 their lives look like they suck. Even the, even the rich ones, even the rich. So I tell the story sometimes, man, I was, when I got to, you know, cause I did a lot of, a lot of traveling, a lot of speaking. Amazing companies got to work with some really cool brands, some really cool organizations, got to meet some really cool people. And I was speaking to a group. It was a group of banks in the Midwest. It was a family owned group of banks, community banks. And we were flying around on these jets and the company jet, private jet owned by the CEO. We're on these jets and we're making this trip. And the CEO broke down on one of these things.
Starting point is 01:30:13 And he was crying and he was talking about how much he had just kind of followed along the path that had been laid out for him. And he did the school thing and he got his grades and he came into the company business because that's what he's supposed to do. And he took over because that's what he's supposed to do. He's uber wealthy, run his fricking jet. Um, but he was, he was, you know, crying about the fact that he just did not like the way his life had turned out and he had just gone ahead and let somebody else write the story for him. And so he was really upset about that at his core. And he was probably about 50 years old at the time. Um, and we landed and he went over into the bathroom and I ended up getting into a conversation with a, with a mechanic at this little private airfield. Um, and the guy was
Starting point is 01:30:48 40 years old at the time. Um, and was telling me he was two weeks away from retirement because he had always known he'd always had this love for, for airplanes. He'd always had this love for just, you know, working with all things mechanical. He went straight from 18, graduated high school, went and learned how to work on these planes and had been working at these little private airfields, just enjoying the hell out of his life for 22 years, fixing these little private airplanes, had banked away a shit ton of his money and purchased a bunch of real estate. And he's like, man, I make so much passive income. I'm done.
Starting point is 01:31:23 He's ridiculously happy retiring at 40. I got a year old multimillionaire that's crying about how his life turned out. Right. We have those choices. And again, why don't we present all of these choices and options and keep the wonder of the world out there for our young kids? And, you know, and that's one of the irony statements that I hate because we have so many adults that want to tell the kids, and they mean it from an altruistic standpoint. You can be anything you want. You can do anything you want to do. But then the kids also watch them bitch and moan about their own life and how their job sucks and how their life sucks and how they're not in the shape they want and how the relationship with this person is broken. So then the kid's going, okay, well, you're telling me I can be anything, but I'm looking at you.
Starting point is 01:32:05 It doesn't look like that's actually the case. So I'm seeing the talk here. So the kid's calling bullshit right away. And it's de-incentivizing being an adult. Kids don't even want to become adults now. Why? Because adults are freaking fear-based. Adults are sad.
Starting point is 01:32:20 Adults are always arguing with other adults. Adults are always distracted. Why would I want to be an adult? It looks like a shit gig. adults are always arguing with other adults adults are always distracted adults are why would i want to be an adult it looks like a shit gig you know we've got man that was i was so glad when i realized that i didn't ever had to be an adult yeah yeah you get to define what it is that's the beauty um have you do you follow this the the ceo of uh insta of instagram do you follow that guy man you want to see you want to i don't his i forget his name most senior something but i follow him and it is every post is so i mean you described him I bet you that guy cries himself to sleep every night. It's bad. It's really, really, oh, it's so bad. It's so, it's so bad.
Starting point is 01:33:10 But one of the, the post that stands out the most is he, he must live in San Francisco and it shows him riding bikes in San Francisco in Golden Gate Park, one of the most beautiful places you could be on the planet. And him and his kids are riding bikes and they all have masks on. on the planet and him and his kids are riding bikes and they all have masks on but if you if you saw the the wokeness echo chamber he lives in of delusion it it must be his life must be brutal and i'm sure he's being compensated greatly right so he's having to oh it's so bad it's so bad. It's so sad. I feel, part of me feels so bad for him. And then he gets to, but he gets his, you know, the fear became, you know, has become really not just in these last couple of years, but in the last decade or so, fear has become a virtue. You know, wokeness is. What do you mean by that? Fear has become a virtue? Like, like. So it's become respected.
Starting point is 01:34:04 It's become respected, right? It's respected? It's become respected, right? It's been put on this pedestal, right? Wow. Wow. I never even thought of that. It is so ingrained. So you're encouraged to embrace that virtue because everybody else in your circle is applauding you. I don't know one successful person who's embraced fear.
Starting point is 01:34:22 Every successful person I know has faced fear. I just had Jalen Turner on, a UFC fighter, and he said that as a kid he was afraid of spiders and he faced it. He went out of his way and got a spider. And, I mean, he's like – that's the premise of his whole life now. That's it. I'm just like – That's exactly it. Yep. I know.
Starting point is 01:34:44 That's what I'm saying. It's backwards. it's it's backwards and i and i don't pretend that school's the only place we got here or that you know bad parenting is the only only avenue that got us here but i think i think it's multifaceted but i think both of those so you show your fear to kind of show that's like the same way like i would um i turn up my radio really loud when i drove down the street to show off my radio you're saying some people will show their fear in order to get acceptance from their peers that's right man that's right and it's like this culture of um
Starting point is 01:35:15 show off fucking nuts to me i never even thought of that go off that you're sad right because what's you know mental health is a giant buzzword and I'm not knocking people being mentally healthy. I just tend to end up usually disagreeing with people on how to get mentally healthy. But the mental health is the buzzword, right? So it is virtuous now in a lot of these arenas to show how sad you are. And if I can get online and show people that I'm crying, uh, and then I'm going to show them that I'm crying. I'm going to show them that I'm sad.
Starting point is 01:35:47 I'm going to show them I'm sad about whatever I'm supposed to be sad about for the time I'm sad for Ukraine, or I'm sad for whatever I'm being told to be sad about. I'm going to show you how sad I am so that I can get extra virtue points and brownie points. And, um, you know, they do that with sadness and with fear and with, um, you know, it's cool to be, you know, it's cool to be depressed because it just gets people going, oh, gosh, you know, that's it's people used to, enamored by, you know, achievement and accomplishment and facing fears and overcoming and being victorious. And, you know, I mean, I think back to the movies we watched when we were kids, right. And I was talking about this with some people the other
Starting point is 01:36:37 day, but like, you know, the Rockies in the, and, you know, you look at Schwarzenegger movies and you look at those things, these guys were like, these guys were big. These guys were jacked. These guys were capable. These guys were overcoming. These guys were beating the bad guys. They were beating the odds. They were beating all this. And, and culturally, I feel like that was us. And now we're, it's kind of like enamored by, Oh no. You know, it's, if you're the victim, um, you're the best. And I just, that's, that's a, you're the best. And I just, that's, that's a, it's a weird, it's a weird state. Fucking bizarre.
Starting point is 01:37:10 It is dude. Hey, last time I had you on the show, we both had to go to the bathroom. Are you okay right now? I dude, I thought about that. I'm like, I've got one cup of coffee. I peed right before I came in. Okay, good. Me too. You're good. That's so funny. Yeah. Okay yeah okay i remember that i was in the studio just and i was like man i'm about to piss my pants yeah i i normally um uh stop at 90 minutes
Starting point is 01:37:31 but but i i would like to keep you longer but if at any time you have to go just tell me no i won't be phased i made sure man i have got um i'm on another podcast at 2 p.m my time so i am we are way good i wanted to be open to whatever whatever and wherever you wanted to go man whatever serves you best let's talk about um religion let's talk about um so you have these 11 rules for those you don't know you can go back and listen to the other podcast but there's these 11 values sorry let's say call them values these 11 values these 11 things that your family um sat down and came together with and you have them written on the wall somewhere at the house and one of them is um uh and i can't pull it up on your instagram because
Starting point is 01:38:08 i well because my instagram is fucked but it's called a memento mori and it's you will die and i want to and i want to tie this in with um the fact that your kids saw those rabbits get slaughtered and i want to talk to tie this in with um religion. What do you think about that ideology being taught to kids? I like religion because there's a moral code. But are we robbing our kids of the wonder of where you were before you were born and where you go when you die? of where you were before you were born and where you go when you die these are these are the these are the questions like these are even if you it's not the answers to those questions that are important it's the fact that they point to the portal of unknown which most people um i don't know what age it happens three or four years old it closes and you can't get back in yeah until you do six million hits of acid or um you of acid or you have some life altering.
Starting point is 01:39:07 You have to have a near death. Something crazy has to happen. You open up the portal again. Where are you with religion? Because I heard you use the word evil, and I struggle with that word. As soon as you use it, I start circling you like a shark. I start judging you. Why did you use that, my, I start circling you, you know, like a shark, I start judging you. Like, well, why did he use that word?
Starting point is 01:39:26 Yeah. Yeah. And I, I guess I've never, the, the evil part. I don't, um, you know, when I, when I look at something like pedophilia and hurting it to me, uh, evil done, like I, I, that's a, that's an easy word. I'd be interested to hear why, um, would you, and I don't want to, I'm, I want to answer the question on, on religion too, and talk about Memento Mori. But like so evil, so pedophilia, I look – okay, evil.
Starting point is 01:39:50 There's an evil abuse of children there. Do you not like the word evil on that? And I'd be curious as to why. I feel it's – well, first of all, because I can't – I feel it's intellectually – Like shallow? Or lazy maybe. That's fair. What would you say? So like I don't know why Hitler did what he did.
Starting point is 01:40:17 Yeah. I have no fucking clue. I can't even imagine. But when I do imagine it, I imagine that he thought he was doing something right like i can't think of anything inside of me that's like evil meaning like um uh if if if i went to the supermarket and i get to my car and i realized they'd only charge me for one avocado and i had six and i didn't go back in i know it's wrong but i don't think i'm evil no i don't either i just think i'm lazy or or i'm i'm cheap or like i you know what i mean i but but i just can't see doing something for the sake of i when i was a kid and i used to shoot squirrels and shit like i didn't do it because i was evil
Starting point is 01:41:05 did it because i was ignorant and then one day when i shot a dove and it fell in front of me i was like i gave my bb gun away i'm like fuck that i that i started crying i was in high school i was with my friends they're like dude you just bought that gun i'm like i know but i can't handle this shit no more fucking bird i wish it would have fallen 100 feet away so i didn't have to face it you know what i mean yeah i get that fucking die at my feet you fucking ruined everything is there so when i hear evil i just can't even i i can't even i don't see the i don't see if what what would you so let's say instead of uh i've seen fan i filmed famine in three different countries matt yeah i've been on three different continents i've been to all seven continents.
Starting point is 01:41:46 I film movies in a hundred countries. I seen the poorest, craziest shit. Like when it comes to human deprivation and, and I never, I never like, am I evil for not going back? Like I witnessed that I could get on, I could, I could sell all my houses and all my shit and go over there and feed those people. Yeah. But I don't.
Starting point is 01:42:05 So am i evil like that the evil evil itself is not necessarily a concept or are you trying to define where the line is right because let's say you bought i don't know i don't know i don't know six avocados let's say instead of going in and buying six avocados you went in and bought six eight-year-old little girls that you were going to take home and abuse. And even if you thought for some reason that was right and okay, what would you define? What would be the word or words to describe that human being that knowingly is taking little girls? I'm going to go take them away from their parents, from their life. They're clearly distraught panic all of those things and then we are going to do ungodly things i don't know what i don't know man like to me i'm
Starting point is 01:42:51 just like maybe evil is a lazy way to describe it but at that point um i wouldn't even want to describe it i would just want to put a bullet in some in a head like well for a while yeah like so so um george floyd put a gun to a pregnant woman's stomach in her house in a home invasion robbery and i just think oh that lady will like that lady will never there's nothing she'll never be whole again her whole life has been changed because of what he did. And I just, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I guess I don't know what to call it. You're right. I don't have, um, I, for, on this show, when I, if I don't know if people have figured it out, but my wife doesn't want me to say like, fuck that person, behead them or any of that shit.
Starting point is 01:43:39 So what I say is I'd put them in a rocket and shoot them to Pluto. That's kind of like, you know what I mean? Like, I think it, I think for my wife probably doesn't think that that's bad, but for me, I'm like, yeah, send them to Pluto. I can't wait till that shit runs out of oxygen and they're done. That's so funny. Yeah. And I've never had the, you know, I've never had the good fortune to meet your wife and hopefully someday, uh, well, and I'm sure, you know, I'm sure I would love her to death. Um,
Starting point is 01:44:02 I am, I like them. I like the moral code of religion. I just don't like closing the door to life and death. I want my kids to be able to ponder it. It's the richest pondering I've done. Yeah, and I think that is – I like that. It's a memento mori. People say, well, gosh, you have a female teacher. Kids have a fascination with death. And the reason that's on there is it's a memento more you know people well gosh you have a female teach your kids a fascination with death and there's the reason that's on there is the fascination with
Starting point is 01:44:28 life it's a it's a you know it's a call to remember the fact that um that this ride ends you know at some point in the in that we've got this continual gift and it goes back to those conversations of being proactive versus being reactive right if i if i take that and that's the whole stoic philosophy behind this, as far as I understand it is that, you know, if you remember the fact that you, you have limited time, then you're more intentional about what you use your energy on, what you allow your thoughts to wander on, what you spend your time on, who you spend your time with, uh, your intentional around life. And that is the whole, that is the whole thing. Um, and so the religious part of that,
Starting point is 01:45:07 and I've gotten, you know, I've some of the private schools that I've gotten to run have been religious, uh, based. And I think I'm with you, the moral code. Um, I, I am a huge fan. I think we have lost that culturally is again, one of the multifaceted reasons that we've, you know, uh, kind of gone down this, this road of confusion as a culture and society is we've really lost that moral code. We've just, um, we've eradicated that. So I like that too, but I do believe we strip our young people of some really valuable conversations and thought exercises. Everybody's religion is correct. Right. But everybody's vastly different. If I've got friends who are Buddhists, I've got friends who are Mormon. I've got friends who are evangelical Christian.
Starting point is 01:45:58 I've got friends who are Jews. I have friends that are that are Muslim. I'm not I don't have as I don't think I have as many but I do know I have some right all of them are correct right well that can't be true you know they're not all inherently correct on every single thing they all vastly disagree but then they'll tell their kids look this is the answer and I'm not opposed to, to, you know, parents saying, Hey, look, this is a black and white in our house. Like I, that becomes an interesting conversation in and of itself. But they do all possess a moral code that's supposed to help you navigate life. So I would rather do black. I don't know if it's to eternal life or to happiness or what, but it is a moral code, and it's nice living by those people. It is nice. It's nice having a bunch of Mormon neighbors.
Starting point is 01:46:48 You know what I mean? That's right. And so I almost wonder if we can't – we try to do this as much as possible in our house, and we can probably do a better job of it, but go, look, this is our moral code, right? Those rules, those values that we have hanging on our wall, that is our moral code. rules, those values that we have hanging on our wall, that is our moral code, but it's not, that is a different thing other than, you know, our belief system around, around life and death. Those we can talk about this too, because I'd rather have the conversations with my, with my kids and going, look, here's the evidence that we see. And so this is why we believe what we believe. I also want to understand, I've got a lot of good friends who
Starting point is 01:47:25 are LDS, right? I want to understand exactly what it is they believe. And then I want to dive into that evidence too and go, okay, well, they believe this. This is not something I necessarily believe, but what is their evidence around this? And then I want to come to a conclusion. Either I go, okay, well, that's better evidence than I've got, or I don't think that necessarily holds up to scrutiny. So I'm going to go ahead and maintain my position. I want to proactively walk through those kinds of things with my kids so that they learn to look at everything from that same lens, including what we're saying we believe is a family, because what's the harm in that?
Starting point is 01:47:57 Either they're going to come to the same conclusion or they're going to go, dad, because again, we've got that open line of communication. They're going to go, dad, because again, we've got that open line of communication. They're going to go, dad, I talked to Johnny over here, right? He's a, he's a Scientologist just using that because it's so frigging out there for me, but he's a Scientologist, but look at, here's the evidence. Let's dive into this together. I would rather have them maintain that curiosity. They're either going to come to agree with what I'm agreeing on, or they're going to
Starting point is 01:48:23 show me better evidence. And maybe we're going to move over there together and we'll have great conversations and, you know, the thought process. And then when they actually decide to make a decision on what they believe, they will own that to a much higher level. I can ask most religions, I can ask them a couple of, I know enough about their religions that I can ask them some questions that'll make them very uncomfortable because they don't necessarily have the answers because their system hasn't allowed them to explore certain things. And then, you know, instead of going to explore, they usually get pissed at me for bringing it up. You know, that's kind of the
Starting point is 01:48:58 nature of the beast, but I think we do a disservice to our people just not allowing, again, not allowing for questions. And so that's how we look at it in our house is like, look, here's what we believe. Here's kind of our evidence around that. But I want my kids to explore all of those, not explore them like I want to dabble in it, but explore them like ask questions of it and research and come to their own conclusions on that. I don't think that's a dangerous proposition. It's interesting. I'll tie this back to people who not not conflating their thoughts with reality. The Bible has all sorts of shit like that that confuses people.
Starting point is 01:49:34 I'm going to screw this up. I know someone's going to get mad at me. But there's this saying in the Bible that a rich man going to heaven is like a camel going through the eye of a needle, meaning that none of that shit you own is yours and you're not taking it with you. And yet one of the commandments is don't steal. Well, don't steal is built on the presupposition that there's ownership. Well, we already know that there's no ownership. So the stealing thing keeps you one level away from reality. Stealing, there's no such thing as stealing.
Starting point is 01:50:00 If you believe in stealing as a reality, you're fucking crazy. But most people cannot fucking understand that. It's built on something that's called ownership ownership is also not real these are things we fucking agreed upon just to make society work am i against them no not in the least totally against um i'm totally for ownership and stealing it doesn't make them real yeah it's an agreed upon it's an agreed upon yeah but but yeah and so then now if i take stealing that rule don't steal is for me it's not for me to project onto you it's my moral code because when i project it onto you anyway it's you see what i'm kind of trying to draw here?
Starting point is 01:50:49 And there becomes this – none of that's even explained to the kids when they give them. That's why there's so many batshit crazy religious people because they're taking their moral code and trying to project it onto other people. Onto everybody else. Yeah, it's like, dude. Right. What are you doing? You've broken your code. That should be the first code in all the religions.
Starting point is 01:51:10 Don't project this shit onto other people yeah well and that's it should that absolutely should be be open to having the conversations that's great don't project it and it's like uh an automatic again it's the same thing as the politics it's the same thing as anything else if you're using it as you either agree with me or we're or we're at odds well then you're you know that that talk about intellectual laziness that's about as lazy as, then you're that, that talk about intellectual laziness, that's about as lazy as it gets, you know, that's, that's the issue. And then again, when you start diving deep into some of this stuff, like even those direct translations of the so-called 10, you know, this is a place where it pisses people off 10 commandments. Well, it doesn't translate it commandments. It's like suggestions and, and, uh, ways to live. Like it's not actually,
Starting point is 01:51:43 it doesn't actually directly translate into commandment. There's no Hebrew word for obey, right? Oh, wow. There is no Hebrew word for obey. So like that doesn't exist. It's not commandments. It's kind of like these suggestions and prescriptions for living
Starting point is 01:51:57 is more of the direct translation, right? And so any of those 10, they're not even translated really appropriately. So you're taking it and spinning it to make it exactly what you want it, projecting it on somebody else. And if somebody disagrees with you, well, then you're pissed at them and they're your enemy. I'm sure I got people pissed. I'll probably get people in my DMs just from this, just from saying this. Which is fine.
Starting point is 01:52:21 Again, I'm always open to conversations, but people will come at me like, screw you because because you said this and i grew up always learning it as this and so now we're enemies and that's that's where we are and and i'll throw this on there for anyone who gives a shit uh the real reason why stealing is bad there's only one reason and for those you selfish egotistical arrogant people like myself you'll love this reason You never want to have to guard a thought. And so when you steal something, that means you've done something in your mind that's wrong and you have to guard that thought. So if I take, if I, if I'm at Matt's house and I eat his last apple and then he comes in the room and he's like, where's that apple? I'm like, I don't know. Now I have to, now part of my headspace is taken because I stole something and I have to guard that lie around it.
Starting point is 01:53:07 And that's the worst thing that can happen to you in your entire life. That's why I tell people you should never smoke cigarettes, not because smoking is bad for you, but then the rest of your life you'll have this little nagging, I want to do more nicotine, I want to do more nicotine like I have. It sucks. You don't want anything in your headspace. You want to be free. Guard a lie. It sucks. headspace you want to be free and guard a guard a lie it sucks right so you want to be free so i mean that's exactly it i mean that's what i don't have to guard anything from anyone that's if if you aren't in that headspace or that kind of peace
Starting point is 01:53:41 of mind um then then yeah you are you are in cage you are the elephant that's tied to the post that thinks he can't pull it away because he was trained as a young kid that he can't pull away from the post right you're you are that elephant if you're not in that in that specific headspace um for sure um the the stealing console i'm just wrapping my like now i'm my wheels are spinning especially around this evil thing so you come over you steal an apple um and cool what if you come over and you steal a kid yeah man i mean man you i i i i just hate to say this because of my wife, and I want to obey her, but yeah, those people can't exist. Those people cannot exist. You cannot take someone's kid.
Starting point is 01:54:32 And you should expect – I'm actually surprised more people haven't been hurt in retaliation for some of the stuff that's been done to our kids. I'm really, really, really surprised that kids were given vaccines without their parents being told who are 12 years old. I can't believe – I'm not saying it's right, but I can't believe some of those people weren't off. I just – as a parent, if someone did – I was walking in Africa one time, and there was this big pile of trees. I've told this story, and I'm in this neighborhood that has no objects. I'm in a village that has no objects. By no objects, I mean like everything is handmade. Their bowls are handmade.
Starting point is 01:55:21 Everyone lives in teepees. Everyone – there's no food there. I mean there's not a single store there. They don't deal in currency, nothing. And I'm there shooting this documentary, and I'm walking with these five kids, and there's this big pile of trees. And I asked one of the kids. I'm like – through the translator, I'm like, hey, what are all these trees doing here? And they go, oh, there's a lady under there.
Starting point is 01:55:41 I go, there's a lady under there? And they go, yeah, a dead lady. And I go, what happened? I go there's a lady under there and they go yeah dead lady and I go what happened a lady walked up on a fucking elephant that was with its baby the elephant grabbed the lady beat her with its trunk to the ground and killed her she's dead and then pushed all the trees in the area on top of her to make sure she didn't come back to life and get away wow that's how i feel about anyone who threatens my kids yep it's i i would i want to i want to i want to turn you into ashes i don't i don't want any remnants of you i don't even i i mom i mean i give myself the
Starting point is 01:56:21 chills saying that but like i don't want any remnants of you. So I hear you. Is that, is that, um, you know, like this Cain Velasquez thing. I mean, you touched his daughter. It's like, dude, you like, I know you, you kind of get in and like he shot your dad. And I'm kind of like, I'm really not a vigilante guy, but I'm kind of like, so what? Kind of get it. Yep. Yeah. Like you shouldn't have been hanging out with this dude who's touched someone's daughter like yeah so i and i get it so that's where you better not even look at someone's daughter you don't even look at someone's daughter they're like don't like someone's 14 year old daughter's there shake their hand make
Starting point is 01:56:57 eye contact with them once and get the fuck away from them like dude yeah what are you doing i i hear you so that's where it's that, you know. Yeah. That's got to be some biological thing in us. I would imagine. It doesn't feel. I would imagine. I think that elephant's a prime example.
Starting point is 01:57:16 I mean, I shoot my mom. So my mom just moved out here. Congratulations. That's awesome. Congratulations. Super cool, man. Yeah, thank you. So I actually drove her car out here. I drove her car out here for her. She's been here like a week, right? just congratulations that's awesome congratulations super cool man yeah thank you and so i drove
Starting point is 01:57:25 actually drove her car out here drove her car out here for her she's been here like a week right so she went to go walk around uh her neighborhood she's kind of checking out her new kind of checking out the new digs and uh on her first day and and she comes back and she's like yeah she's a really nice lady who lives down the street and uh she told me to be careful walking down this specific trail because there's some deer over there and the deer have uh babies so she was out walking her dog and the deer came out of the woods and just started stomping on the dog um on your on your mom's dog or your neighbor's dog her her neighbor yeah her neighbor wow glory and so again that's that biological like i mean deer usually see humans or see anything and they're you know
Starting point is 01:58:04 they're frightened there. They run. But this deer had baby nearby and it was just like, nope, this thing looks like a threat. I'm going to stomp it out. You know, so I think that is a very much, you know, very much a bio dude. Same thing. Anything comes near my babies. I'm stomping, stomping.
Starting point is 01:58:19 Yeah. I'm not feeling bad about it for a second. I'm not thinking twice. I used to take spiders outside. I don't take spiders outside anymore. Since I had kids, I kill spiders. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so, yeah, totally. I picked crickets up and take them outside. I used to get a glass jar and take the spider outside. Now it's like, no,
Starting point is 01:58:39 you're dead. No, I don't spray. I don't spray pesticide around my house. You know, but, but but but but i the rules have changed yeah it's so funny huh so funny my wife i was i was inside the house the other uh a couple weeks ago i guess not the other day but two three weeks ago and she calls me and she's like oh my god there's a huge snake out here you got to get out of here and it's attacking it and i couldn't really understand what she's saying i'm like it's going after a what and she's like it's going after it's going into the uh it had gotten stuck trying to go in the chicken coop uh and so but i was like i thought she was talking kids or whatever and you know and at our house in california uh my my little boy was like around
Starting point is 01:59:19 four and he's like oh dad look at this and he had a uh rattler kind of cornered that was it was gearing up oh shit rattlers gotta go i had to go sleep i had to go sleepy night nights and so i'm just picturing this other you know same thing i'm like oh shit but um same thing i mean you know obviously as long as the kids are okay now we'll have a conversation around what you're doing and where you're gonna go but if it's if it's hurting the kiddos it it's got to go bye-bye. Tying this into the fear thing and projecting on your kids, there's this – I talked to – so there's this correlate, and I don't have a lot of studies for this, but just my own personal anecdotal. The coolest kids I've ever met, now I'm starting to realize, are the ones who got their cell phone the latest and the ones that are homeschooled. They're the ones – they're the adults who make – they're the kids who got their cell phone the latest and the ones that are homeschooled. They're the ones they're the adults who make they're the kids who make eye contact. They know how to talk to adults. They have friends of the widest variety of ages.
Starting point is 02:00:10 They know how to interact with my kids. They know how to interact with me. And but it's also these kids who didn't get cell phones till they're 15, 16, 17. And there anytime I talk to parents about that, everyone like agrees with me. And they're like but you know you need to get it for safety or but you know you get it and you put this blocker on it so it can't do this this and this and i'm like i don't know i'm not i don't think i'm i don't think i'm doing the cell phone for my kid till like old yep i agree i'm not i'm not doing it no you're right so it's the whole you know because i also show family we these schools, but I've got a lot of families that will reach out and go, Hey, look, the schools, you know, there's no schools anywhere near me. And so my first question is, okay, well, do you want to, if you've got kids, like, do you want me to show you how to build one?
Starting point is 02:01:05 one. And if that's no, if there's, that's not the desire, no, or, or, you know, there's no ability, whatever the circumstance they say, but okay, but I'm going to homeschool. I just, I don't know how to do that. We help people do that as well. Right. Yeah. And you have a new program by the way, that's coming. Yeah. Yep. And we're doing that too. I'm kind of putting all of that under the Apogee umbrella as well to show families how to do that. Right. Yeah. The big questions, one of the biggest myths you're launching sorry you're launching the home education parenting course yeah yeah and when does that come out um tech my tech squad we've got all everything filmed pdfs are created um we've got a workplace group that's set up where we're gonna have the families that'll be able to they'll be able to come in and get weekly support i'll literally give them the
Starting point is 02:01:44 projects the conversations things i'm having with my own kids every single month and support them. So that'll all start in September, but we'll launch the first membership. Tech team is saying we'll be able to launch it this week, probably. And what's the website for that? So it'll be under the apogee strong.com website. it'll be under the apogee strong.com website. It's right now. We just have the men,
Starting point is 02:02:06 the young men's mentorship, but we'll have the links to the educating modern day heroes, homeschool course too. I was so excited to see you're doing this. So excited. It's because it's again, it's the fear, right? The parents are like,
Starting point is 02:02:19 I don't know how to do this. I'm worried that I'm going to screw up my kids. I'm worried around, you know, which is the irony. I always tell them the whole thing, right. It's like, I'm worried that, uh, you know, I went through this conveyor belt program. Now I feeling adequate. And so instead of being able to educate my own kids, I'm going to put them back through that same conveyor belt schooling system that left me feeling inadequate enough to, to raise my own kids. Right. Is this
Starting point is 02:02:42 that cycle? Like, Holy shack, if that doesn't tell you something. So some of the biggest fears, one of them is around that whole socialization, right? But what if my kids aren't socialized? And gosh, man, it's such what you said, looking people in the eye and shaking hands and having those conversations. The majority of the time, if parents are intentional, it's those kids that are home educated that are far more comfortable doing that. We sold some goats a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago, sold some goats. The guy drove over here, drove his trailer under the ranch and gets them all ready to go. And,
Starting point is 02:03:20 and I was, I was gathering up the goats that we were selling him and getting them ready to move into his trailer. So my nine-year-old went over and she greeted him as he came to the gate. She went over, opened the gate for him and he came through and she's like, Hey, how are you doing? You know, my name is Brielle, shook his hand. She's like, so, you know, dad's over there getting the goats.
Starting point is 02:03:38 I've got the bill of sale right here. So you'll sign here. I'm going to take a picture of it. We'll keep that as our receipt. You keep this as your receipt amount of cash. And, and he's like, okay. And so he signed it. She took a picture. She's like, okay, great. You know, it's however much it was, it was like, you know, 800 bucks, 900 bucks, something like that. And he's like, okay. And she's like, and you can, it's okay. You can give me the cash. She's like, I can give it to you. And she's like,
Starting point is 02:04:02 yeah, that's fine. You know? And it was like, so we got done and he's like, what the hell was that? And I'm like, that's normal for us. That's not a weird thing. It's just normal. She's not weird at all. She's nine, right? But she's nine. Yep. But that's normal. That's just what we do. And it's what we've always done. They've run multiple businesses. They've negotiated business deals over the phone. They've done all these things. So it's just, again, you normalize what you normalize, right? So do you want that for your socialization or do you want, again, the young kids who are around a bunch of other young kids
Starting point is 02:04:39 who are being taught gender's not a real thing. Sadness and fear are the virtues. Follow the directions here. Look down at your cell phone at all time. You're going to be distracted by these screens and getting bombarded by a weird culture. You're going to be distracted by a bunch of medications that we're going to give you early and often, especially for the young men. Um, you know, we have this habit now of looking at kids in school and going, Oh, this five-year-old young boy has a, has a methamphetamine deficiency, so we better get him on something. Oh, I never heard it like that. That's so poignant.
Starting point is 02:05:12 Oh, my goodness. Like we're distracting our kids, you know, and you're worried about my kids being socialized. It's bananas. So we just want to help families like get around the, there's the cultural myths that we've been indoctrinated into. We've been talking about religion. School is a religion in our country. And so we want to just get out of those religious myths around it, man. So I couldn't agree with you more. The cell phones just aren't, just aren't happening. If you're really concerned about safety, well then cool. Here's your deal.
Starting point is 02:05:44 just aren't happening. If you're really concerned about safety, well then cool, here's your deal. So we've got 20 acres right now on our ranch. My kids are 11, 9, 6. They want to go run off. They want to go into the pasture. We've got five acres in the back that are just straight up woods in the mountains with creeks and little waterfalls and everything else that lives there, snakes and falling trees. And there's all that stuff is back there. So they can go explore back there all they want. They know what our property line is, and they can go get at it. Now, do I want them to be able to contact me if they are a legitimate trek away and something happens and somebody gets hurt? You bet.
Starting point is 02:06:21 Do they need a cell phone? Nope. There's great technology, man. They got watches. They got watches that all those watches can do is they can call the numbers we programmed in. So if you're really just concerned about safety and you want great, get them something like that. Cause you know what? They're not, there's nothing else on there for them. So they're not distracted by that all day. They're not being bombarded by other bullshit. They're not on social media. They're not, they just have the ability to call so you know parents use excuses to uh to uh allow them to feel a little better about all the other baggage that
Starting point is 02:06:52 comes along with with that bullshit and what are you taking away from your kid when you put that on them let's just explore this for a second i put that watch on my kid i've seen it sounds benign but now all of a sudden your kid knows he's tethered to your parent what what are the ramifications is that good is that bad for sure oh your kid's getting emf raised in his wrist or whatever the fuck those are i don't even know if they're real but it seems to be the only thing that um so everything that we it's like the thing with um i'm all for the discussion of getting rid of guns but i haven't heard one person who's talked about the discussion of getting guns telling me what the ramifications are, because all they say is, well, if there were no guns, no one get shot. OK, I give you that. But what if we end up like Australia and they build camps and people have to be put in them for a month? Sorry, can't do that.
Starting point is 02:07:39 Like I know it's the same thing with like the quarantine. No one discussed what the ramifications were of that. They just did it because they only thinking one-to-one ratio of, of what the implications are. It's like, I like this idea of the watch, but how about we discuss like the 10 other, like maybe it's better for a kid that he doesn't feel it. Maybe, maybe instead of going 20 acres away, he'll only go eight because he doesn't have the watch. Right.
Starting point is 02:08:04 You know what I mean? It's like, there's, we gotta talk, we gotta, we go, are we hurting people or helping them? acres away he'll only go eight because he doesn't have the watch maybe yep that's it right you know what i mean it's like there's we gotta talk we gotta we go are we hurting people or helping them well and that's and the point is that the parents will look at that and they'll use cell phone as a this is because of their own fear sorry sorry one thing matt we're projecting our own fear onto our kids projecting our own fear and our own conditions onto them. A hundred percent. Because it's not really ever usually about safety. It's about, that's what they say to make it sound like a more responsible decision. It's what they say to justify it
Starting point is 02:08:33 and try to make it sound logical. So they say that when the reality is they're doing it because they're afraid their kid's gonna get mad at them if they say no. They're afraid the parent next door is gonna judge them for not parenting correctly. They're afraid their kid's going to get mad at them if they say no. They're afraid the parent next door is going to judge them for not parenting correctly. They're afraid, right? So they'll use the it's for safety, even if there's a million other options, even just to get around the safety side, right? They spin the whole story, you know, which is usually a crock of shit, and they won't let themselves really identify what it is they're actually doing and just be honest about that. So you're absolutely right. No, I'm,
Starting point is 02:09:08 I'm, I, cell phones are not, are not happening for us for, for a long time. And, and I'm very, very happy with that,
Starting point is 02:09:18 but the medication is not happening for us either. Video games is another area that I think is wildly uh distracting and damaging especially the young guys so i'm not it's amazing when when you as someone said someone liked your carlos romero liked your meth deficiency line and jeff birchfield wrote something here um uh reminds me of when i went to pick up a guy in my granddad's truck to take him across their ranch to look at bulls when i was nine yeah i mean that's my nephews live on ranches uh in texas and that's the kind of shit they do five six seven eight nine year old kids catching rattlesnakes driving trucks driving tractors um and it's funny people think that and they're the most responsible they waking up and putting a gun on their hip.
Starting point is 02:10:06 Yep. Is a 10 year old boy to go out because, because there's fucking all sorts of wild animals out there. It's crazy. And it's so, and they're so capable. If I had a daughter, I'd want him to date my nephews.
Starting point is 02:10:17 Right. And they're so incapable is the word, right? They're capable and they're competent. Yeah. So they're in turn, they're confident. So they're in turn they're confident so they're not even really they get less and less attract the more capable and confident
Starting point is 02:10:31 they get the less attracted they are to other distractions and bullshit because it's just not interesting you know it's there's the whole people got to send them to uh i gotta send my kids to school because they got to learn you know that there's bad people out there. And so that's the place for them to get. What kind of that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. Like, if you want to level up your own life, you don't go to prison and hang out so that you can go, well, look, there's all these bad people. I guess I better get used to them. And that's how somehow my life is going to get better.
Starting point is 02:11:04 Now you go hang around people that are doing better things than you, that you have something to learn from. Like you go level that stuff up. Well, these are young kids are the same thing. So we have them. You have them do things like get in there and get in there and drive the buggy. Get in there and drive the car around here. Get in there and go explore. Get in there and do all those things that build the resilience and the confidence so that when they see ridiculous stuff later on, they're just not even interested. And they look at it for what it is. It's ridiculous. It's not something I want. Not like, well, I grew up when people were idiots
Starting point is 02:11:30 that I grew up with. And so that's it. Again, it doesn't follow logic. It follows our indoctrination. What do you think about that? I have some strong opinions about this next thing I'm bringing up. What do you think about the Jew parents and the black parents telling their kids i bring up the jews and the blacks because it's that's their common you know all the jew kids i know and all the black kids i know grew up like this they're including my wife who's ashkenazi um uh the parents tell you the world's out to get you for some reason the jew parents and the black parents think that's a good thing to tell your kid hey you're gonna have to work 10 times as hard. Everyone's out to get you. I mean, that's how LA Jews are brought up. That's how black kids all across this country are brought
Starting point is 02:12:09 up. Hey, everyone's out to get you. And I'm like, what the fuck? My parents didn't tell me when I was, no one told me, Hey, seven, when you're 16, you're going to go to school one day and kids are going to start making fun of your nose. Just so you know, your sophomore year, that shit's going to grow in and everything's going to turn fucking upside down i'm so glad my parents didn't tell me that shit i'm glad someone had to make fun of my nose and i came home that day and looked in the mirror i'm like what the fuck are they talking about you know i'm not trying to like trying to look from the side i i i don't approve of that warning your kids that they're like giving them a um it's it's a false warning the parents projecting their shit onto them.
Starting point is 02:12:46 They're projecting it. They don't know. You're projecting your shit onto the kid. Now the kid has to walk around and be like, hey, I'm a Jew and everyone hates me. How the fuck is that good? That's your mindset. That's the problem. It is the mindset because you go in again.
Starting point is 02:12:59 Fear is the virtue in that point. Right. The victim is the virtue in that point, right? Like the victim is the virtue. So you are, you are virtuous and better than others because you're walking around knowing that, that, you know, that you have that fear in the back of your mind, that's quote unquote, protecting you, or that fear is keeping you safe. It's exactly what it is, is the start of that victim mindset. That's exactly what it is. Right. And so, yeah, no, I think that's a horrible place and look at, I get, you know, I have both sides that'll, that'll go look, well, here are the reasons we're saying that are because of the systemic so-and-so that itself is a separate
Starting point is 02:13:35 conversation. That's a separate conversation. If you want to talk about systemic things, there's things you can probably, you know, speak to that, that bolster the point. And then there's some things that I think are thrown out there that are provably incorrect and i'm talking for both communities there i think that's a whole separate conversation taking your but they could have made up anything you can make up anything someone might someone could have said to me hey seven when you're 16 your nose is going to grow in and it's going to have superpowers and that girls are going to be just throwing the pussy at you like someone could have told me that. So be careful.
Starting point is 02:14:07 And I wouldn't believe that too. And so why tell a Jew kid or a black kid that something like, like the victim might want to tell him some other shit. Hey, just so you know, I mean, you could tell them anything. Why tell them that shit?
Starting point is 02:14:19 That's the point, right? Is that you've got that blanket. Why not fill them with things that are powerful, that are wonderful, that are going to keep them curious, that are going to keep them strong so that when they do encounter at some point, encounter crazy stuff,
Starting point is 02:14:34 it's not something that they're like, oh, see, I knew that was coming. I was told that was coming. And oh my God, here it is. And it's probably going to be better. Or they'll just look at it and go okay well i that's ridiculous like it it won't phase them because they've got a different mindset i don't know what you've told i think that is the you tell you tell you tell a black kid hey white people don't like aren't going to like you and they're going to be mean to you
Starting point is 02:15:02 then when you're walking down the street and a white person crosses the street you think oh they walked away from me because they didn't like me but if you never told that black kid that they would never come up with that nope they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't come up never ever come up with that nope the racism wouldn't be a thing people going to the other race like that's not a thing people don't be just some guy across the street that's it people don't inherently have that people i mean i've had young kids i've worked with enough young kids they don't even see it unless you unless you bring it up unless culture brings up unless somebody brings it up they they genuinely don't see the fact that other people look different and people say well that's not okay either we
Starting point is 02:15:40 should notice the differences when it's kids just look and they go that's another human being they. They go, that's another human being. Hey, that guy's missing a leg. What, what happened to him? I don't know. Go over and ask him. Go talk to him. They, but they don't care. He's a different color. They don't care if somebody's a different height, they don't care. Hey, they inherently just go, that's a boy or a girl. They don't go what, I wonder what gender that kid identifies as. None of those things, those are all adult issues that we're throwing in on these young people. Yeah, geez louise, that could be the exact same thing too. You got a parent who, I don't care if they're white, black, or Chinese, you may have a black parent tell you, hey, all black people are thugs. You may have a white parent tell you, they're white kids, all black people are thugs.
Starting point is 02:16:22 It's the same thing. I agree. The color thing is just an example. It's not there's nothing. All black people are thugs or all white people are racist or all, but all of that is just garbage. And it's not just like the inherent state, the natural state of a human is genius. The natural, the natural values and virtues that we have to our, I, are inherently good. We look at other people and assume- So we are good. We are good inherently. I think we inherently look at other people and have love and want to connect with that other person inherently. I don't think we inherently want to go the other way from anybody else which tells me do we inherently want relationships so we inherently value another human being i think that is our natural state i would love to i spent a lot have you been to africa i have not no sir i know kalipa is on his way like next week. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:17:29 I spent a lot of time over there in areas. And for those of you who don't know, by Africa, I don't mean Egypt or South Africa where there's – I mean places where I'm the only white person. Yeah. And it's really fascinating what can happen to your – your whole brain will make these huge shifts there's this movie i wish i could think of this movie you would fucking love this movie matt they take these kids from the baltimore ghetto and they take them to kenya it's a documentary it won the academy award um boys of barack no maybe someone will say it in the comments boys of they take these i was going to say you what's crazy is you take a white kid like me from fucking walnut creek california and you take me to africa and within a week everything recalibrates my whole every i watch
Starting point is 02:18:16 my whole brain just shift on how i think about the entire world just for survival reasons it was just fascinating but they take these kids kids, these 20 black kids from the ghettos in Baltimore, and they take them to Kenya. Dude, everything about them changes. The way they walk, the way they talk, their vernacular, the semantics, everything changes. They put them in a fucking no electricity,
Starting point is 02:18:39 no modern shit area, and they just send them there. Oh, there it is. Yes, Boys of Baraka. This movie is fucking... boys of baraka this movie is fucking baraka yeah this movie is so crazy good and it just shows you that we all we can all just be recalibrated and reprogrammed we're just we're just fucking sheets of paper we sure can just erased and rewritten our shit god that's and that's such an exciting thing, right? Yes. We're always in control of changing our story.
Starting point is 02:19:06 Always in control. So what then an honor it is as parents to get to write that original programming, right? To make that start at such a higher level. Like what an honor that is that you have three young humans that you get to start that programming wherever it is. And eventually you want to hand over the keys to that car so that they're doing the reprogramming themselves. Right. And that they have. Yeah, dude, you are that you get to establish that baseline. Are you kidding me? What a privilege. Right. And there's no perfect parents, but what I always say
Starting point is 02:19:46 is no, there is no such thing as perfect parent, but our standard should always remain perfection. We should always be attempting. You should be attempting to be a perfect husband, attempting to be the perfect father. You'll never get it. Of course, standard, right? Because you're doing them a service by doing so like that's so freaking exciting to be able to to have you know that privilege and that honor as a as a father i love that man have you read um alter ego effect by todd herman no i'm a huge fan of him um i had todd on uh the podcast too and he talked to the young guys uh of apogee and it's all around you know kind of that uh reprogramming you know sort of mentality and we went into the whole like have you seen split um that m
Starting point is 02:20:32 night shamalan movie about the dissociative identity disorder oh where the guy's got like 23 personalities or something have you seen that no no it sounds scary so it's kind of it's a it's kind of cool you know it's one of the m night shamalan scary so it's kind of it's a it's a it's kind of cool you know it's one of the m night Shyamalan ones so there's like a little twist on it I won't give anything away but you know it's the whole like uh the guy's got dissociative identity disorder right or multiple personality disorder and so he's got these 23 different personalities and so you know a couple of them are doing some some uh evil things in the movie um but yeah that's the book man um and so what struck
Starting point is 02:21:05 me when I watched that movie and it's kind of set me down this rabbit hole was this guy, um, oscillates in between all these different personalities and each one has a different agenda and all these things they're trying to do, but there are all these physical manifestations that take place in it too. Right. So, um, he's like a nine year old boy at some point. And so when he's in that body, you know, he's a grown man when he's in the nine-year-old boy at some point and so when he's in that body even though he's a grown man when he's in the nine-year-old nine-year-old boy frame of mind um he he has nine-year-old strength too right he can't like these girls are pushing back on the door and he can't push it even though he's just a much bigger dude he also switches into this one that's kind of like a beast sort of thing and he can climb on a freaking wall right he has this like superhuman ability
Starting point is 02:21:44 because he believes in this sort of deal and one of the parts of the movie that was super super brief but it's really the part that sent me down the rabbit hole um they're playing a videotape and he's going through some of these other personalities of his and one of his personalities has type 1 diabetes and has to take insulin. Oh, shit. Don't. Right. So that sent me down this rabbit hole of like, Hmm, is the mind really that powerful where somebody that has this actually has physiological changes that accompany the mind, you know, the, yes. And I started finding these studies and one in particular of somebody that had a severe allergy, I want to say it was to like oranges or something where they break out in hives and rashes in one identity. And then as they moved into the other identity, the hives would just clear up like that because that identity didn't have the reaction. Crazy. the the reaction crazy what the hell so when we start to look at the mind as being as powerful
Starting point is 02:22:48 as it is again that's just all the more honor and privilege and duty we have as a parent or as anybody that works with young people period to do whatever you can to, to protect that inherent genius, to protect the inherent love of, of other people and of, of that love of learning and the desire to grow and to know more and do more and be more and think more like that is that's there. So we've got to not only protect that, but nurture that and open as many doors as possible to get the best manifestation of whatever that young person can be. And so Todd does a really good job of diving into how he's worked with like athletes and entertainers and all this stuff to kind of develop these other identities where they'll step into these other mindsets and frames and roles to go accomplish something else.
Starting point is 02:23:41 And it's a fascinating book. And I think it's one that's really good for parents. Honestly, I think it's a phenomenal book for parents. In, in, when I was younger, in my twenties, and I was having these aspirations to, to be an aesthetic. I wanted to, I wanted to be like Jesus. I wanted to be like the Buddha. I wanted to, I wanted to be like jesus i wanted to be like the buddha i wanted to i wanted to be those people i wanted to be that good i wanted to be that still i wanted to know that stillness that passion i quickly realized that um it's it's it's easy if you throw away the world if i go lock myself in a room or sit under a tree, it's easy to become Christ-like.
Starting point is 02:24:27 It's easy to become Buddha-like. But the hardest people to interact with, if you want to do that, are your parents. They're the super mirrors of yourself. And so I started realizing if you think you're enlightened, go hang out with your parents, and you'll quickly realize you're just a fucking five-year-old dipshit still. That's so funny. So many people – in raising kids, our relationships with our wife and our parents seem so important to me. It seems like where I'm going to do most of my fucking teaching and not like direct one-to-one teaching, but it's where they're going to see the way i treat my mom and how the relationship i have with
Starting point is 02:25:07 my mom in front of them i understand my wife because it's how they're gonna pick their mate right i understand but my mom with my mom it's something i i think what I'm doing is I'm investing in my relationship with them in the future. So the more time I can spend with my mom and my dad in front of them and be a good son, whatever that means. That's as intellectually lazy as evil. I don't know. Do you have thoughts on that, on the importance of – because I noticed you had your mom move out. And that's like the great – like my mom lives near me too, so I try to see her every day with my kids around. I want my kids to see me with my mom.
Starting point is 02:25:50 It's a treasure. I don't think it stops there. I think it is your relationship with anyone and anything. It's not just – you're right. Yes, the relationship with your wife, it shows – my relationship with my wife shows my daughters what a man should do in a relationship and how he should treat a woman. It shows my son how he should treat a woman, right? It shows them those things. I always, you know, the, I always say your kids will do what you do before they do what you say, right? You leading by example, you are the example of what
Starting point is 02:26:22 they're going to, what they're going to do to do first, whether they think through things and decide to change that example later. They may. But that is that is the default setting for them. Right. That is the the initial inner voice. You know, everybody's got that inner voice. Well, it starts out. It's your parents voice. And it's based on what you saw your parents do and how you saw them act and behave. Right. So yes, that relationship with the spouse matters, the relation. I agree with you, the relationship with your parents, um, and them watching that you are, you're investing in that future relationship with, with your kids as, as the father, but your relationship with work, um, your relationship with spirituality and religion, your relationship with food, your relationship with money, and how you talk about and tackle finances.
Starting point is 02:27:16 Your relationships with people and with entities are the baseline for their mindset around those very things. And so that's why the standards got to remain perfection because you're going to, you know, your relationships with all those things are great, but you're like, God, money never is, you know, money doesn't grow in trees. It's so hard to come by. We'll come by. We'll never be able to afford anything. There's never enough money. The bills are always lined up. If you're, you are setting that foundation for them as well. meaning that's what they're going to want to replicate oh that's my dad money drives him crazy and he's and he's always complaining about being poor i'm gonna i'm gonna take that
Starting point is 02:27:55 yep money is scarce money is hard to come by money is something that causes grief in life money is something right so it's yeah you are you're setting the baseline for all of that. So your relationship with people and those things all matter greatly. It's a, do you think you're always working on yourself too? You're motivated to work on yourself because of your kids. All the time, all the time, all the time. I know. I mean, all the time. And I know I still have areas where I struggle. And of course I still have areas where I mess stuff up and a hundred percent,
Starting point is 02:28:37 but it's always as intentional as I, as I can. Yeah. Break that cycle. That's the whole point is breaking those cycles. And you didn't have, you didn't have the ideal relationship with your father, as I recall. Oh, that's correct. Yeah, absolutely correct. And so those are cycles you have to break. A hundred percent, a hundred percent. And it's always interesting to watch because I've got siblings too. And, and you know, they had the same father. And so it's interesting to see what cycles have been broken, what cycles have not, who's holding onto certain things, who's not. Um, it's, it's weird to, it's, you know, interesting to see, to see that play out, but yeah, that's definitely a cycle that I had to break and not repeat, um, those things and the cycle of, you know, the, the whole cycle of
Starting point is 02:29:18 forgiveness and all that stuff. I wish, I hope he's doing very well. I wish nothing, uh, bad for him whatsoever. And I talk about him with my kids and they understand why they don't ever see him. You know, so I want to be very, very intentional about that. But yeah, breaking those cycles, man. You had mentioned you had mentioned, Ben, I want to give people some practice, some practical stuff here. You mentioned Ben Greenfield earlier and about how he experiments with his life. And I really, really respect people who experiment with their lives. walks like a dog 30 minutes a day and and and he's done and he's doing it every day for 365 days he's almost there and it's crazy he shows you how it's changed his body how he moves he's a brown belt in jujitsu he's a trainer but it's crazy what 30 minutes of practice of walking on all four i
Starting point is 02:30:18 mean it's it's i started doing with my kids i'm gonna have them walk on all fours like at least every other day traversing different stuff yeah it completely – and I've always said that crawling is the holy grail of fitness, and you should never encourage your child to walk. Let them crawl until they're fucking 18 if you can because once they stand up, they're never going back. It's over. You have your whole – yeah, you're done. You're done. It's so interesting, and I don't want to interrupt, but you know Steve Maxwell, like a fitness OG? Do you know who that is?
Starting point is 02:30:47 Yeah, real handsome, buff guy to the stars, that guy. So Steve Maxwell is like an OG. He's like 70. I want to say he's like 75. Maybe he's one of the first kettlebell guys. He might have been the first American Gracie jiu-jitsu black belt. I mean, he's just this OG at fitness, but I talked to him not that long ago and he was saying something similar that guy's 70 steve maxwell is like 74 maybe 73 i don't know man he's in his 70s he's a oh my goodness he looks good he's a stud
Starting point is 02:31:17 man he is and he was he's same thing was just uh was talking about crawling and he's like man i crawl all day i crawl all day every day um he's like i think it's something that people are vastly missing out on yeah that's steve yep that's him he's a stud man he is a stud that guy so i so i need to get three people on i'm gonna get steve maxell on i'm gonna get uh tom herman and i'm gonna try to get and i'm going to try to get, and I'm going to try to get a Laura or Jeff Sandifer. Oh, that's awesome. You're hooking me up.
Starting point is 02:31:48 Okay. This is, so the other day, so, so one of my kids is always touching his face and he always has dirt on his face. And I'm always, and I'm always wiping his face.
Starting point is 02:31:59 I'm a huge proponent that every time we leave the car, I wipe their face and tie their hair up and fix their clothes because i want them to present i want the world to treat them nicely it doesn't mean they can't get dirty i don't care if afterwards they spill mustard on themselves or go all around or i just try to make it and so this one kid always has fucking dirt on his face always out of his nose everything and it just started like about a month ago. And so for 29 days straight, 350 times a day, I'm telling him, dude, you've got to stop touching your face. And after 29 days of that, I'm making this all up, by the way, the spirit of it's true. After 29 days of it, I told myself two days ago, every time, because this is what life's about, experimenting.
Starting point is 02:32:43 Every fucking time i want to tell him wipe your face i'm switching it i'm gonna tell him i love him fuck it that's awesome just flipping the script so now i tell him 50 times a day ari i love you and it's like it's so much better and then i just wipe his face it's so much better yep i just flipped the script i'm like i'm not having fun doing this so rad dude you know what i mean like i'm not i'm not enjoying telling this five-year-old to keep wiping i'll go over and wipe his fucking face he'll figure it out the other kids don't do it like chill the fuck out stop projecting onto him yes you will that's awesome if i'm gonna project something onto, how about just project I love him?
Starting point is 02:33:25 I put my hand up his shirt when I tell him that, and my other hand up his back, and I squeeze his little torso. Tell him he's yummy. Tell him he smells like fucking banana bread. That's awesome. So much better. That's awesome, man. So much better, right? I love that.
Starting point is 02:33:40 And the experiment's done. I'm done. I'm done being a bitch, a whiny, complaining bitch. And now he's getting loved. It's a win-win. Yeah, everything's healthy. Yes. We did it.
Starting point is 02:33:53 He needs that. You need that far more than what you guys needed before. I love the way you're doing that. The best way to tell parents the best way know, everything about something for your child is to improve it in yourself first, right? You want to improve their education? Well, improve yours, improve yours simultaneously. Because then again, it goes back to that osmosis, right? If you're consistently like, hey, you know, I make it a priority that I'm going to be in a book and I'm going to have conversations, deep conversations about what I'm reading around those books,
Starting point is 02:34:22 because that's how a world-class education actually starts out. It's foundational to a world-class education and you're doing that. Well, then they're going to be more inclined to be like, Hmm, interesting. Okay. Well, that's what a good adult does is they prioritize that, you know, that kind of thing. They prioritize reading. It's that. So you improving yourself in that way, um, is improving everything for him. He's not just hearing from you that he loves you. It's improving how he sees himself. It's improving how he sees you. It's improving his relationships going forward.
Starting point is 02:34:52 And yeah, he will pick up. And by the way, if you're telling him that, there's the whole Pavlovian sort of thing too, where you're like, dude, I love you. And you're wiping his face. He's going to be like, dude, I love you. And he's like, shit, man, I need a wipe. He's going to pick that up too. I think that's awesome, man. We can, we can change, we can change our, our program. Let's
Starting point is 02:35:13 say, let's say you, um, let's say you drink, let's say you drink too much at parties, but you don't, you're not sure if you want to quit drinking. All you have to do is then you just make a, you just start making rules for yourself. Every time before you drink a beer at a party, when you get there, you have to drink one glass of just make a you just start making rules for yourself every time before you drink a beer at a party when you get there you have to drink one glass of water and then you can drink a beer you earned it and then you want to drink another beer you got to drink another glass of water and you can do that um every time you want to smoke a cigarette let's say you smoke cigarettes you can be like oh yeah i can smoke a cigarette but that requires 10 minutes of riding on the um exercise bike and then I earn one cigarette. You can just, or you can change what words mean or how you like.
Starting point is 02:35:50 I reprogram myself instead of I see dirt on his face. Instead of that, the program being, it's time for me to yell at him. It's time for me to say, I love him. I just change. I can just,
Starting point is 02:36:00 it's all made up. That's exactly it. Why not make up some good shit, right? Why tell the Jew kid that the world's going to hate him? the world's gonna love him that's right try flipping the script someone steals a hundred bucks from you ask them if they need to borrow another hundred dollars instead of doing what everyone else does and be like get mad at them it's your fucking story it's your story man yeah it's yours try some new shit it's the word it goes back to what we said
Starting point is 02:36:24 earlier you know words become thoughts become belief become action become habits become character it becomes who you are yeah you know you can you can shift that any anywhere along that ladder of of realities you can you can shift you can shift the words you're using you can shift the thoughts you're having you can shift those beliefs you can shift those actions you shift those beliefs. You can shift those actions. You shift those habits. And you, when you do that, ultimately you end up shifting the character. You know, you end up shifting who you are. One of the books that we have, not have, but we suggest the young men read in Apogee program is Atomic Habits. It's one of the first things we have them,
Starting point is 02:37:02 you know, we suggest do hard things first for a very specific reason and then we suggest atomic habits second for a very specific reason you know and it's it's you start to define what your habits are and shift your habits you reprogram those habits it reprograms who you are as a human being so i saw on miranda miranda's um who's who i think is opening up a school through you i saw on her instagram uh i i was always kind of interested that some people set goals and i wasn't really a goal person but then i realized if you i saw this on her instagram one time if you're passionate there were three components if you're passionate you had good habits and something else then it'll it then it'll guide your life.
Starting point is 02:37:47 And I remember thinking, wow, I am all three of those things. Not only do I have good habits, but one of my habits is to refine my habits. Yeah. Right? And that's like an important habit to have. You have to keep it, especially as you get older. You have to be refining your habits as you get older or else you'll break yourself there's shit you can't can't do when you're young and you have to do when you're old that's right it goes that's the intention it's the intentionality yeah yeah
Starting point is 02:38:14 so good man she's a stud she's awesome by the way which i know everybody knows if they're listening but she's she's really good what a crazy her and her husband, what a crazy successful business story and a contribution to humanity. No doubt, man. Yeah, good folks, man. So I'm excited for them and excited to help them with this next part of the venture too. Good people. Thank you for the introduction, by the way, because I met her through you. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:38:38 Yeah. Thank you. In a way, you're on the front line fighting the war. The war is for – maybe we don't even have to use the word war. You're on the front line of leading society where it's going to go. What do I mean by that? It sounds cheesy when you're a kid, but now that we're older, we know it's true. The kids are our future. And so what we put into their minds now is what we're going to get we're going to reap the fruit of it um in the future there's so much um hysteria uh i had for better look up the definition of that word there's there's so much uh uh definition of hysteria is a term used colloquially colloquially to mean ungovernable emotional excess oh i like that okay there's so much hysteria and lack of sobriety on the front line where you're hanging out meaning there's people who want to in conflation
Starting point is 02:39:43 of thoughts and shit right like if you say hey I don't want the gay flag at my kid's elementary school, people think you don't like gays. It's like, no, I fucking love a gay. I would party with gay dudes all day. They fucking rock. I just don't want the flag, a gender – a sex flag, a genitalia flag at the elementary school, straight or gay. How do you stay sober being on the front line of this how do you stay not get swept into the hysteria yeah um it really like like how do you not become militant that's what i have to i have to stop myself from doing that. People will check me with that anyways, right?
Starting point is 02:40:25 Because I will, I see the game that's being played. I see the agendas coming out. I see, and by the way, I saw those years ago and told people, hey, in the next decade, we're going to be talking about, you know, gender ideology with kids. And we're going to be talking about, you know, devaluing the dads. And it's not a big deal. We're going to be talking about racism that doesn't actually exist. And we're going to be pushing it on the kids. Like this has kind of been this long tail game. And so I can get stuck in that too, and pointing that out. And I try to always give the caveat of like,
Starting point is 02:41:00 look, if you're a good person that's in this, I'm not attacking you. I'm attacking this, you know, sort of system, whatever. But I, I really just try to shift my energy over to the solution. Cause one of the things that I realized is that none of this is going to go away. Um, the, you know, government schooling can vary about schooling, all the hysteria around what we're doing with our young kids. That's not, uh, it's not going away when crossfit exploded the way it did and created this cultural awareness um you know gold's gym and 24-hour fitness and those didn't go away right right those stayed there they're still the bot like it's still there all of this is going to stay here so again memento mori right is the fascination of living. I've only got a certain
Starting point is 02:41:45 amount of energy. I got a certain amount of time every single day. I can either use it to fight something that's not going away and point the finger, which I will still get sucked into. And I'll just try to do it more tongue in cheek to try to make a point, you know, just to try to get people's wheels spinning. But I spend the majority of my energy on building the alternative, building the new. I understand that's going to create a cultural split. I really believe there are going to be, there's going to be more and more of a split between people who have, young people who have had exposure to real education versus people who are just indoctrinated in schooling, I think that split is going to become more and more obvious over the next couple of decades.
Starting point is 02:42:32 I don't think we can avoid that. So I will just spend my time getting as many young people on that upward trajectory as, as I can and just focus my attention there. I mean, that's really all I can do. When, if I were to ask you, does Bigfoot have hair or fur? I'm asking you to partake in my delusion. And some imagination. With the presupposition that bigfoot exists uh-huh yeah i feel that way when someone asks me my gender uh-huh yep because i don't think i have a gender because i've never once had the thought i don't do anything because i'm a man right i mean it's not forced upon me i'm forced to pee out of my penis i i don't i'm not
Starting point is 02:43:25 choosing that yeah i i i'm not i don't wake up in the morning with a raging hard-on because i'm like hey hard-on up here i'm not it's not like a car it's just there yeah um i i i i accept the fact that some men are attracted to other men the same way i'm attracted to women i don't know i don't i did i don't know um i'm not i'm not i'm not cognizant of it other than it's happening like i can do if i see a pretty woman and i notice myself to start to get um stimulated by i could run the other way but i but i'm or i could like sit with the thought but but though it's it's happening to me. Right. Like when my wife comes into bed, I just feel something turn on inside the same way if I see an animal die. My tear ducts turn on. I don't I don't I just they just turn on and I'm like, oh, shit, it's some water going to come out of here. I'm observing this. The part about what I say, how do you get not get caught up in it is they want us to talk about something that's imaginary. And when we talk about it,
Starting point is 02:44:29 we're making it real when there is no Bigfoot. Right. There is. That's right. That's right. I would rather study the impact of, of mountain lions on, um, on the deer population and the ability to, um, have cattle on this hill so we can feed society, then talk about whether Bigfoot has hair or fur. They're not even, they're not even contributing to society when they fall down that rabbit hole so far, because we need cows to be raised on this land,
Starting point is 02:44:59 not to be talking about whether Bigfoot is a mammal or a fucking reptile. Like, or does he give live birth or does he lay eggs? Like, what the fuck is going on? I don't even know. That's right. They need help. They need help.
Starting point is 02:45:13 They don't need us to participate. People I love are participating in their delusion. It's like taking someone who's anorexic and then giving them a gastric bypass so they can even be skinnier. What? They're anorexic and then giving and then giving them weight a gastric bypass yeah so they can even be skinnier what they're anorexic why did we give them they need to we're accommodating their delusion why are we doing this and a lot of society why why are we accommodating our sick people why aren't we helping them that's it i agree 100 and that's where i go with the when i'm talking to parents around,
Starting point is 02:45:45 you know, especially these last couple of years, right. We'd always, I started hosting meetings at some of my schools and, and just trying to help. Even we have an auditorium full of parents who none of whom went to any of my campuses, they were just trying to figure out, uh, what to do with their own kids. And it was always – Wow, what state? When did this happen? Oh, this was in California. Oh.
Starting point is 02:46:09 This was in California. That sounds amazing. If you ever need to – if you're ever going to do that again somewhere, tell me. I want to post that on my shitty Instagram account. Parents need to get access to you when you do that. So you gathered a group of parents who were like, oh, shit, what should I do with my kids? Uh-huh, 100%. We had a whole auditorium when we had to do it multiple times, auditoriums full of parents going, what do I do? And what I was hoping to get across to him was
Starting point is 02:46:34 like, look, I'm not trying to sell. And half the campuses that we had that they would have access to were full anyway. So it's not like I had anything to sell them. I couldn't sell them. I didn't have any desire for that. It was my, my whole goal of it was to try to point out to them. They were taking their time and energy to fight, you know, a school board or a school administrator. energy to people who had no power to actually change anything, who weren't going to change anything. And then they were yelling about my kids shouldn't have to wear a mask and then sending little Johnny out the door every day with his mask on making sure that he's not. So I'm just trying to get them from a just purely humanity standpoint is going, look, you can't yell at the delusion while participating in the delusion. It's exactly what you were saying. Like you're, you're participating in it.
Starting point is 02:47:27 You're saying you don't like it and you're taking your time and energy to argue about it while participating in it. And Oh, by the way, you're spending all your time right here on some stuff. It's never going to change. It's just this weird alternative reality that some people are trying to suck you into anyways. Yeah. You do understand you can actually take that same amount of energy, put it over here where you're pouring into your young person. You're providing other options for the young person. You're not participating in a mass delusion. You're not having to take energy to fight against anybody. You're taking all your
Starting point is 02:48:03 energy to pour in, you know, love into your your young person you've got the same amount of time and energy that you can just go and shift it right over here not have to live hypocritically so like let's go over here let's turn our eyes this direction you know and um but again that's a religious hold. Let me ask you this. Maybe this metaphor is not appropriate, but there's weeds in my garden. Sometimes I plant stuff that's – like my kids and I, we have a vegetable garden, and there's the radishes. They're low on the ground, right? And if weeds come, you got to pull them out or else they'll bury the radishes they're low on the ground right and and if weeds come you got to pull them out or else they'll bury the radishes yeah um on one hand i hear you i should spend my
Starting point is 02:48:52 time um i don't spend as much time killing gophers as i do i make sure i plant at least one new avocado tree every year because i know every two years they're going to kill one. So I hear you in one respect of, yes, you're saying the wisdom shit. You're saying the smart shit. It even pains me to fight with you on this. But do we have to weed any of these other guys out? Do we have to? Yeah, no, and I appreciate it. I actually appreciate that clarification.
Starting point is 02:49:22 So I – Like these people who think – there's people who think Roe versus Wade. There's people who think that the Supreme Court outlawed abortion. I bet you it's more than 50%, Matt. Oh, I agree with you. Every other country around us is like, I can't believe the United States outlawed abortion. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Nothing of the sort just happened.
Starting point is 02:49:42 Yeah, they just handed it back over to the – They just took power away from the federal government we should all be excited even even if you're pro choice and you want to kill babies all day long you should be so fucking happy because now you're free to do it the the the federal government when when you allow the federal government to say you you you're pro-choice you're also allowing them to say you're pro-life that would have been really fucked up you know what i wish they would fucking do that just to show all these motherfuckers on the other side what the hey you were confused you know what we're gonna do we're actually gonna make abortion illegal on the entire i mean they should be so happy the federal government can't
Starting point is 02:50:20 get involved people don't they don't think just go, we're living with morons, dude. Sorry. Sorry, honey. Sorry, Haley got fucked. I can't even make it to one show without calling someone a moron.
Starting point is 02:50:31 Sorry, babe. Oh, this gives, so it goes to kind of the point. So using that metaphor of the garden, if you got weeds. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:50:41 I'm looking at this. I like it. Schooling. Um, and the mass religious system of schooling that we have built up over these last hundred years it is no longer weeds it is it is this jungle that is self-perpetuating i've got some of this stuff that grows on my ranch that i go off and cut thank god i can actually use it to feed animals because I go cut it and throw it and give it to the goats or give it to the rabbits or give it to whatever. And that stuff, the next
Starting point is 02:51:11 day, it's just like, I can't stop it. I look at schooling is it is something that, um, I can't, you won't be able to stop that train. You're not gonna be able to whack enough moles to make this whole thing stop. It's just not going to happen partially because we now, it has done such a good job of its religion. We do now have, you know, a 50% of the people who, you know, again, morons don't think, can't think, won't think, you know, whatever that is, it's not going away. There's so much money. There's so much politics. There's so much power here.
Starting point is 02:51:50 I spoke to a group called Project Lead the Way. I like them a lot. It's an organization that goes in. They build after school programs that are project based. And so, which is what, hey, by the way, you know, a lot of your school education should be anyways, and it's not, but they are at least bringing it to public schools and they're doing so a lot of times after the fact that they're integrating. Um, so I went and did a keynote, uh, presentation for them, uh,
Starting point is 02:52:17 about 2,500 educators from, or, you know, teachers from around the country and got to speak to them. And then, um, they had me go speak to a group of young, I did an hour keynote there. And there was an hour with a bunch of young heroes that they had brought from different schools all over the country. It's like a hundred or so of them that I got to hang out with for an hour. And then they had me hang out with seven teachers and administrators from around the country who had gotten awards in various capacities from them. One of them was a principal from Oklahoma. And I remember her saying, look, I know where you stand on public school. I'm in the public school. I'm running public schools. I fully get it. I fully agree with you.
Starting point is 02:52:58 I hate all the bureaucracy. I hate what I'm told to do versus what the kids actually need. The system is soulless. The system is not for kids. I get that, but I can't stop fighting back, even though I'm not making any kind of dent, even though I'm not making any kind of difference. Why do we not just fight back? Why are you not more active fighting back there? And you're trying to build something different.
Starting point is 02:53:20 How do I change what's there? And I said, if you figure out how to change what's there, let me know, because we could go change things like the Vatican too. Right. How do you change the Vatican? Damn. How do you change that? You're not going to go on. And then a group of parents aren't going to go yell at a bunch of priests and take out some of those. And then all of a sudden the Vatican is going to shut down and change too much time, power, money. there's too much there. We're not going to whack enough moles, period. Schooling is the same thing at this point. Um, I'm not going to whack enough moles in my lifetime to make a dent here. So if I grow something else over here, you know, to me, that is a far more net positive here than if I try to bury a couple moles over here. And you're luring away their people. You're actually doing, you're actually taking fruitless mulberry trees and grafting
Starting point is 02:54:13 them so that now they produce fruit. Yes, that's exactly it. And unfortunately, the downside of it is that there are some young heroes who will never ever be able to escape that system and i fully understand that so we've got to do everything we can on this side to make it more you know make it more accessible to other we yes that is part of that charge um i understand that does continue to help perpetuate that split i know it does um and we can that's what greg glassman said by the way about crossfit he says i have no faith no belief no desire no concern of helping all of humanity um i only have the desire to provide people lifeboats who want to get on as the sick economy just fucking sucks the life out of
Starting point is 02:55:01 civilization bingo that's exactly what i always that's exactly what we say is i always say look man we are building i'm not trying to convert anyone just like you said i'm not trying to convert anyone but if you want to get on this lifeboat over here you can it's just just jump on yeah we are building we're building an ark and i'm going to invite you on the ark i promise you the flood is freaking coming and yeah we're gonna we're in it we're in it. We're in it. That's the, it's the trip. 100% we're in it. Yep. So it's, it is, it is kind of, it is kind of fun. Um, if I, I asked, I asked, I'm going to ask two groups of people, uh, to really be patient as this thing unfolds.
Starting point is 02:55:39 If you don't have kids and you are the elderly, I'm going to have to ask the most of you because there's something that you just don't have to deal with that we have to deal with that's really important. That's really, really important. I wish I could be more clear with this as the podcasts go on. I'll develop more and more. I felt a ton of ideas develop being in the presence of Matt today. develop more and more i felt a ton of ideas develop being in the presence of of matt today um but but those of us who have kids um and something's um there's there's a ton of really good pressure on us right now and if you don't have because i just imagine what if i was 19 years
Starting point is 02:56:18 old right now the 19 year old or 25 year old hippie that i was i would be so excited about the armageddon that we're in it'd be like this is fucking dope and if i was 80 years old and i was scared i i i i i would i probably wouldn't be able to contribute what i need to contribute so those two groups of people please know that uh that eventually those of you who are in your 20s you are going to have kids and your whole shit's going to be flipped upside down. So, so just be patient. Everyone try to take a deep breath.
Starting point is 02:56:50 Who's not on the, on the parent train. It's not that we're better or worse than you. We just have another obligation to humanity right now. And, and we're going to do, and we're going to do it. We're going to one way or another,
Starting point is 02:57:01 we're going to accomplish it. We're going to be successful at it and we're going to do it. True story. True story, man. For those 19 year olds, the world thinks very little of you or expects very little of you because of culturally where we've gone. So they expect you to just be taking years off of your life. They expect you to be distracted. They expect you to be sad.
Starting point is 02:57:20 They expect you to be ineffective. They expect you to be non-resilient. They expect you to be all these things expect you to be non-resilient. They expect you to be all these things. And you have every ability to do the exact opposite. And because you're doing like compound interest, investing early, right? Invest in yourself early now and you will separate yourself so freaking far away from yours. I mean, it's never been an easier time for a young person to be great if you choose to do so. never been an easier time for a young person to be great if you choose to do so that's true that's so true i the my final question dang three hours i'm so happy we made it um you say you um you say in the podcast with uh with nick um from bpn when people meet my kids they're completely blown away and they can't even believe it and um i i experience that every day going out with my kids is like going out with famous people it's fucking nuts everyone like no matter where we are what we're doing just the way they carry
Starting point is 02:58:19 themselves people will just stop us it is fucking nuts and they'll say you have the most beautiful talented three little girls i've ever seen and'll say, you have the most beautiful, talented three little girls I've ever seen. And I say, thank you. And of course they're three little boys. Um, and, uh, how, but, um, how do you, how do you, if you, if you, if you if you if you could if you could give uh it's like like to talking to nick if nick wants to have one of those kids that when you go outside everyone realizes that they're like holy shit we're in the presence of like superstardom um what what would uh first of all as a parent there's nothing better that's like what it
Starting point is 02:59:07 is it is fucking it is so fucking fun like even if you go to the mall with them people are staring at them just the way they they because kids don't have to like you said if you just say hi to someone and smile and make eye contact people think you're a fuck the most amazing kid ever i mean the bar set so fucking low low and that's i want to i want to be clear on that too is that that's part of the reason that people are so astounded by your boys by my you know two girls and a boy is the bar has been set so low the expectation has been set so low that just the fact that they will do adult level things, meaning looking in the eyes, shaking hands, introducing, having a conversation, you know, like somebody at the grocery store the other day says, you know, uh, Hey, how are you doing over there? You know? And, and my six-year-old boy didn't like shy away. didn't say he said i'm doing very fine thank you how are you doing you know and just and asked like how
Starting point is 03:00:08 i had a adult response to that and the guy's like whoa and he couldn't even respond back and so my son's standing there going i asked you how you were doing and this guy's just chuckling and whatever right because he just doesn't expect it the bar's so low dude that's the thing sorry i went i went yeah i went to the i was at the gas station um supermarkets like you know it's a gas station which sells like the fruits and vegetables and shit and i go there with my sons and we're in line and uh there's a guy behind me i guess with only one item and my oldest son avi who's seven goes hey um do we want to and i have a whole basket full of shit and he goes hey do we want to let that guy behind us go first and i and i look behind and i'm like oh yeah yeah and he's able to tell him like no you fucking tell him and he goes do you want to go first and the guy goes
Starting point is 03:00:54 looks at me and i'm like and he learned that from me right just like like he saw a dude with one item and just knows like hey hey, that's not cool. We got 30 fucking 40 items. We're not in a fucking hurry. Like let this cat go in front of us. I'm going to use a credit card. This dude is probably going to throw $5 on and be out. How would you tell – where would you tell – what would you tell parents to do to get them on the path to make these kids?
Starting point is 03:01:28 Yeah. That you not only can take everywhere, that you want to take everywhere. Like if someone invites me to a wedding, they're like, no kids. I'm like, yes, I'm not going to your fucking wedding. Totally. You know, what I told Nick to, to actually send him a message the other day. I saw that they'd had the, had the baby and I sent him a video message, man. And it was just like, you know, you're different. You're a different human being. What I said on the podcast, I'll
Starting point is 03:01:54 go back just a little bit. What I said on the podcast was, you know, the people ask me, the question I get most often is, is how do you discipline them? Because when they see them, they assume it is some sort of disciplinary action in the way they define that word. And I just try to shift their mindset around discipline. And that's why I actually don't discipline my kids. I have just shown them how to be a disciplined human being. And that is a different, that's the difference, right? Is because most adults aren't even disciplined human beings. So when you see another disciplined human, you're like, okay, well, that person's different when that disciplined human is eight, you're like, what the fuck? You know, like it
Starting point is 03:02:33 blows your mind. And so we've talked, we've created those disciplined habits in them. So what I told Nick was, you know, it's consistency like anything else. There's no magic pill. Consistency is the key to all of it, right? It's, but you, and you genuinely need to, you're consistent about, about everything you guys do as a family. You're consistent about praising them inspirationally. You're consistent about, um, you know, correcting them calmly. If there is a need for correction, you're consistent about taking them out. It's, it goes back to the whole words to thoughts, to beliefs, to actions, to habits, to character. It's that whole train and you don't ever miss a beat. You don't want to miss your workout. Great. You don't want to miss, you know, staying consistent on eating the right
Starting point is 03:03:18 things and not putting the garbage. It's the same thing with raising the young heroes. You're consistent about who you are as a family. You're consistent about leading by example. And what I told Nick was, um, you know, if you're going to be the guy that's leading by example, first and foremost,
Starting point is 03:03:33 I want you to map out standard remains perfection. So map out what does the perfect dad do? How does he, uh, pour into his family? How does he talk to them? How does he talk to his wife? How does he talk about money? As you talk about fitness, how does he talk about finances? How does he pour into his family? How does he talk to them? How does he talk to his wife? How does he talk about money?
Starting point is 03:03:46 How does he talk about fitness? How does he talk about finances? How does he look at philanthropy and giving back? How does he talk about faith? What does this guy do? Who is this perfect dad, perfect husband? How does he interact? And then I want you to fill out,
Starting point is 03:03:59 I want you to talk about who the enemy is too, man. What is the guy that is just out to ruin a family? Like, what does he do? What does he look like? What is the guy that is just out to ruin a family? Like, what does he do? What does he look like? What does he say? What kind of attitude does he have? So I want you to keep those two guys. And because your standard is always to remain perfection here. It's to never let the enemy, you know, creep in. And then you build that consistency for your family. You do that day one from the time that little girl came out. She's beautiful. I think Charlie Grace is her name. And so, man, she did say that to him. You said from day one, that's so important. Day one, man. Day one is perfect. She's perfect. She's perfect health.
Starting point is 03:04:37 She's perfect genius. She's a perfect view of the world. She's a perfect understanding of, and yes, no, she doesn't have, well, their frontal lobes aren't developed until they're 25. Yeah, I get it. I understand that. But as far as like her natural inclination around so many things is so spot on until we screw it up. So let's take a moment and just be consistent around the values that we want. around the values that we want. Let's make the intentional about our words, intentional, intentional about what we're teaching her to believe about the world, intentional about the actions that we are taking as a family, that she's seeing us take intentional about the habits that
Starting point is 03:05:15 we have as a family. What are our non-negotiables? You do all that. They're going to have that kind of character built in. And then honestly, man, it just gets freaking easy. It gets fun because we don't negotiate on that. They're holding us accountable now too. You know, like if, if I violate one of these rules, they'll call me on my bullshit and just go, Hey man, this is one of those rules. And they'll do it respectfully. And I'll just go, yeah, you're right. Thanks, man. It's just like you, it's like, it's like you seeing me on something and calling me up and just going, Hey man, I saw you on that interview and this is what you said. I don't think that's cool, man. I'd go, man, thank you, bro. Thank you. Like that's I needed that. Thank you very much. Right.
Starting point is 03:05:53 My kids can do that same thing because they have that the ability to do so. It's consistency, man. You said in this podcast, I don't know if it's this one or another one or on your Instagram, you said manners are non-negotiable. It's something like I'm so hardcore on. Like if someone gave my kid something and they didn't look them in the eye and said thank you, I would take it from them and give it back to the person. Totally. Yeah, totally. There would never be like, oh, he's just shy. I would never make an excuse for my kid's weakness.
Starting point is 03:06:24 I'd be like, dude, to get that, you have to say thank you. You have to say please. Totally. It's just – and you build up for them. Yeah, it's not an option. It's not an option. They didn't say please or sorry or thank you to me. I don't – what the fuck do they – what they do have anything to do with our rules?
Starting point is 03:06:42 These are our rules. We live by this shit. And I do it just to make their life better later on. I know that they're going to hold the door open for the right guy who's going to offer them the job to mow the lawn that's going to get them the money to buy the bike. I know how life works. That's right. That's exactly it. Doing the right – that's it.
Starting point is 03:06:59 He's going to let you keep his daughter out to 12 because you said please and thank you. And because you stood up at the dinner table when the mom walked in. I mean, it's not. And I want that. And I want that for my son. Hey, you can come in. You want to come in? Come in. Come in.
Starting point is 03:07:15 That's right. What's up? I've been here three hours. You got one right here? Yeah. You want to say hi to my buddy, Matt? Ooh, look at your hair. Look at your hair. Hey your hair hey sir how are you oh yes
Starting point is 03:07:30 matt thank you so much buddy thank you just love with you people are always asking me to do kids parenting shows and i think we got a little bit of that in today that's awesome man well and i want to have you on uh talk with the young guys of apogee i'd love for you to see these young guys and how amazing they are and uh always a lot of wisdom coming from you man i'm just i'm very grateful to have you as a as a friend and a voice out there man for sure yeah yeah anything i can ever do to uh to help or participate in what you're doing, let me know. I appreciate that, brother. Right back at you, man.
Starting point is 03:08:08 I'm here. All right, dude. Have a great time. Your time is very valuable. And you got the ranch, the business, and the kids. And so I just want you to know I don't take any of this for granted. I love you to death. Thank you.
Starting point is 03:08:20 Thanks for fighting side by side with us all, leading the way. Let me know when you come out to NC, man. We're going to be working on getting the cabin next door, man. Love to have you guys come hang out, come visit. Awesome. Peace. Bye-bye. See you. All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 03:08:39 Thank you. Are we going to... I want to go to the skate park. No, I want to go to the skate park so we can go to the birdhouse and get smooth. What? No, I want to go to the skate park. Oh, we can do both. We can do both.
Starting point is 03:08:55 We can get smoothie and go to the skate park. Uh, guys, thank you. That is a tremendous human being right there. Matt Bordeaux. Bordeaux. Boudreaux, Boudreaux. Man, what a great dude. Tomorrow, we have, do we have two shows tomorrow? I know tomorrow evening I have a show with Brian and,
Starting point is 03:09:25 oh, I only have one show scheduled tomorrow. Oh, it's at 7 a.m. Wow. OK. Tomorrow at 7 a.m. I thought it was in the evening. Tomorrow at 7 a.m. I have the show with. Brian Friend and Mr. James Hobart about the team competition. And then on the 20th, I have a i think it's gonna be a live calling show but one of my guests for like 30 minutes is gonna be a guy named edries and uh he used his jiu-jitsu to stop a guy who broke into a liquor store so i'm curious to hear about that and then he filmed it on his facebook and the cops came up it was quite quite the shenanigans oh i knew i stayed on long
Starting point is 03:10:00 enough for a reason look at we got five dollars to buy your smoothie um and somewhere in there i need to do a live call and show it also looks like am i looking at this right oh yeah and then on thursday we have dale saran back on he's the former general counsel of uh crossfit h2 amongst many other things then on friday the 22nd um it looks like I don't have anybody. I got to start scheduling people. Matt Torres, Haley Adams, Cara Saunders, James Sprague, Dallin Pepper, and a bunch of people. Okay.
Starting point is 03:10:38 Ciao.

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