The Sevan Podcast - #585 - Austen Alexander
Episode Date: September 12, 2022Welcome to this episode of the Sevan Podcast!Sign up for our email: https://thesevanpodcast.com/-------------------------Partners:https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATIONhttps://ww...w.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK!Master of Coaching - COACHING PUBLICATIONhttps://www.hybridathletics.com/produ... - THE BARBELL BRUSH Support the showPartners:https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATIONhttps://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK!https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Link, I didn't, I didn't, bam, we're live.
I didn't send him a link.
I sent him one, yeah.
You the man.
Yeah, yeah, I sent it over to him.
I'll say it just as a heads up.
I have to run in an hour for a one-on-one at the gym.
You the man.
I'm going to chill here.
I hope, I hope, I hope you get, I hope you turn them,
sell them some steroids too while you're at it.
Sell them a pair of Nano 2s, some Roids,
and a fucking three-year plan at crossfit livermore
suza i finally figured out what's all fucked up i don't know what took me so long it wasn't even my
my plan to think about this this morning but when i say um black guy or when i say mexican
or when i say armenian people think about the way people look
so i was gonna i was thinking about how um how uh jews are more suited it was going to be kind
of funny but kind of true remember that you know that doctor that we're trying to get on it that's
going to talk about identity and and we played a clip of hers the other day and she says size
doesn't matter and she said that women are attracted to – I think she was specifically referring to women, but probably men too.
But women are attracted to men based on their earning potential, meaning like how – and I take that probably the same way you do, not necessarily money, although that's a huge factor, but like how many fish you can bring home in a basket at the end of the day, right?
How good you are at repairing the roof of a hurricane is coming.
Just all the things that I think of meaning survival.
But that's the crazy thing.
And so Jews are good at picking that, but they don't pick it based on the way you look.
And there's no cultural similarity that the average person could pick between a black man coming out of Chicago and a black man coming out of fucking Uganda or Nigeria.
It has nothing.
It's all culture.
And this – the vast majority of the people in this country have it all fucked up.
I'm going to say all of them except for me.
And you could by the end of – like in the next next two minutes, I'd be as smart as me.
Awesome.
It's just culture.
It's just culture.
So when I,
if I were to say Mexicans are horrible at picking,
um,
uh,
mates based on their earning potential,
people would think I was talking about Cholos and Cholitos.
I'm not even talking about the way someone looks.
I'm talking about the culture.
If I said that,
um,
uh,
um,
uh,
uh,
blacks were great at dancing i'm not talking about
blacks like people with melanated skin i'm talking about black culture
but until we get the word straight we're fucked we because we because we live with idiots
well that's we just live with idiots it's just it's just It's just fascinating to me. It's just culture. And the vast majority – the perfect example is you cannot compare the culture of Armenians who were born and raised in LA to the culture of Armenians who live in Armenia. They're totally different.
different and so they're totally different the culture of la has dominated the people the jews and armenians and mexican of la unfortunately their culture is just
fucked because just la has such shitty culture los angeles california just a bad place
so culture has more predictive value than race does race has none zero zero because it changes
other region other than the fact that people are trying to
the people of those races are stupid enough to try to assimilate to the culture that suits their
skin color so like if you're like a you know a mexican in la you there's a certain maybe like
there's a certain process you take that that culture has. Like, so for middle Eastern people,
it's open a liquor store,
you know,
for Jews,
it's open a jewelry store.
Interesting.
For young black men,
maybe I don't fucking,
uh,
he'd be to become a rap star or a basketball player.
There it's just,
it's just these cultural norms,
but it has nothing to do with their skin color or anything.
You could flip the script. You could take the blacks and make them Jews and the Jews blacks. these cultural norms but it has nothing to do with their skin color not or anything you could
flip the script you could take the blacks and make them jews and the jews blacks and all of a sudden
jews will be ruling the nba and blacks will be fucking ruling liquor stores it's it's so it's
there's nothing color related i mean it's like duh savon everyone knows that but no one says it
yeah everyone still refers to it as the black guy or the jew guy or the mexican guy when it has
nothing to do with it those are cultural has nothing to do as the black guy or the Jew guy or the Mexican guy when it has nothing to do with it. Those are cultural.
It has nothing to do with the way you look.
And size does matter.
I mean shit.
Every morning when I fucking print out the notes to the show, I have to stand on a stair, chair, stair, chair.
It's a stair and a chair.
Thank you.
And I have to turn on the printer.
And when I do that, I have to do like a pistol up, and then a negative pistol down, and I have to push the button.
And my whole life is at danger as a 50-year-old man.
Every time the chair could tip over.
If I was just six inches taller, four inches taller, I bet you I wouldn't have to do that.
Still not needed.
Still not needed.
Seven, why did you put your printer up there?
Well, fuck you.
It's none of your business.
It's my printer.
I'll put it wherever the fuck I want.
At least my job doesn't take me to the fucking Middle East.
At least I'm not fucking that unsafe all i have to do is turn
on the printer oh hi sorry i didn't know you were here my bad not very nice yeah yeah that wasn't
cool uh i have to fucking stand on a i just have to stand on a stool every morning fuck it's humid
is it humid in livermore today no it's actually guys what is going on it is so humid it never
gets humid in california not kiddo's like and you're not allowed to complain about the weather when i'm on either
is that is that a rainbow shirt he had to wear that just it's uh it's about a reading rainbow
that's a military 9-11 issued right. They ran out of those shirts, actually.
This guy that's coming on the show today has done something pretty cool.
He's built an Instagram account.
Sorry.
He's built a YouTube channel, and he has a million subscribers.
That's a lot of subscribers.
million subscribers subscribers pretty uh it's pretty superficial way to view him but but it's but it's a solid metric it's a great achievement it's like it's like i i do you think that that's
equivalent in youtube of making it to the olympics a million subscribers yeah is it pretty is it like
yeah like percentage wise like everybody who starts out making content,
like who makes it to the pinnacle?
Yeah, you're not on the podium,
but you're fucking going to Barcelona.
Yeah.
You're suiting up.
It's pretty fucking cool.
You could get the Olympic tattoo if you're a jackass.
What?
What did you say, Caleb?
Shows up just to hang out.
Is Caleb talking? It like froze oh uh caleb is that brown thing behind you new what's going on something looks new did you guys upgrade your furniture definitely more furniture in there
yeah which is funny because we actually got rid of a bunch of furniture um oh so shit got
shuffled around yeah there's some apples that's about it they got
ikea over there i think actually that's what shop there is oh no is our is our guy no showing us
this morning i really hope not everything was all systems ago. Maybe we had a time.
No.
A time.
No, because earlier he had said that.
No, he's in Los Angeles.
He reflected back the.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Do you see Brian is saying that Tuesday needs to be a morning show?
Oh, shit.
So Tuesday we have back-to-back shows.
Wow.
Hey, do you want your wedding to go smoothly?
Or would you like someone to knock the cake over so you have a story?
Would you like one of the parents to like shit their pants or
like like your mom's like depends to be hanging out the back of her pants or or like you know
what i mean like your uncle to get too drunk and fucking squeeze uh grace's aunt's ass i mean do
you want it seems so it seems so nice it seems so naive and rookie to want it to go smoothly
i i place zero expectation on that.
And I always think that something like that happened always makes for a better story than like, you know, a night that goes off perfectly without a hinge.
Yeah.
But it's just funny that you mentioned that because I feel like part of me also wants it to go smoothly.
So I don't have to like pick up any of the pieces.
You know what I mean?
also wants it to go smoothly so i don't have to like pick up any of the pieces you know what i mean i went to a wedding one time and the guy the the um the guy it was actually tony budding's
wedding the former media director executive executive media director at crossfit inc
it was a big wedding it was a sleepover wedding at a campground in gurnville on a river. Yeah, it was dope. And the guy who does the, will you take this dude to marry this chick and only fuck her for the rest of her life?
Yeah, officiation dude.
He said Tony's name wrong three times.
And it became clear that he had Alzheimer's or something.
Yeah, it became clear that something was wrong with him.
Oh, my goodness.
Without a hinge?
I don't know.
Without a hinge, without a hiccup.
This is the first time I've been awake for 66 minutes, and this is the first time I'm talking.
My mouth is just warming up.
He was saying that about me. I said that without a hinge. We all know. Yeah, about me i said that without a hinge we all know um
yeah without it without a hiccup without a hinge yeah well we've already had quite a few
quite a few of them because the restaurant we were originally going to have a little welcome
reception at called us and said they permanently closed oh so that was cool and then some
transportation company that we had was like oh by way, even though we gave you the quote and kept moving everything along like it was there, we actually don't service that area.
So then that fell through.
But we got both of those days.
It's going to be 112 degrees and none of our cars, Gavin Newsom said none of our cars are allowed to turn on their AC.
As he's in a jacket inside.
Caleb, have you seen that at all?
What about having to shut off your electricity
in California? Yeah, but
Newsom's in a jacket, like, inside
while it's the craziest heat wave in the
area. Shut up.
We need to, yeah, watch with our AC.
He's, like, in a jacket.
I need to see this.
Sevan, are you going to the wedding? Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.'s the thing he got an
invite i i cannot it's a i cannot i i had i can't put things on my calendar you can't ask me that
but i do have a really nice armani suit that i'm thinking about like not eating for a couple days
before the wedding so i can get into it like Like a really nice suit. Oh my goodness.
I flew from
I flew from
New Zealand. I was going from New Zealand
to
I should tell this whole story. It's actually pretty fucking
funny. I flew from New Zealand to
Hawaii and I was going
with Greg. We had an affiliate gathering
in New Zealand. And when we
got to, uh, we had to fly through Australia and it was so fucking weird because the, the airline we
flew on didn't have some sort of partnership agreement with the country of Australia. So none
of the passengers there were allowed to get off the plane or were allowed to in the airport. They
had to stay in a certain
area they couldn't go to other parts of the area because that would mean that you were actually in
the country of australia it was weird i forget the actual but our luggage went the wrong way
and they demanded that we went and got our luggage to get it back on our flight but we couldn't go to
that part of the airport because our airline didn't have a fucking deal with fucking australia
so during all this debacle they told us we had missed our
flight but we could still see our plane like sitting there yeah and greg told the people
that him and i were cardiac surgeons racing to do a heart transplant and he used all his fancy big
words and fucking explained it to the people and they put us on the plane they opened the plane back up and put us on my true story it was fucking gangster that's cool it was
so gangster and and then we got to hawaii and they said they had no idea where our luggage was
so greg took me to uh nordstrom's and said i could get whatever I want. And like the scumbag that I am, I threw in an Armani suit.
You.
I swear this whole story is true.
Not just some shirts and a t-shirt.
Oh my goodness.
But an Armani suit.
Whatever you like, you got it.
Let's head to the suit
section
oh what a
what a great story
I don't drop anything by the way
those of you who are like I'm dropping my new clothing
today a new podcast
drops those of you who use the word
dropped your tools that's just like shut up
unless you're fucking Jay Z you don't use the word drop your tools It's just like shut up Unless you're fucking Jay-Z
You don't use the word drop
Drop
That's cultural appropriation Jeff
Only black guys can use that word
Drop
Okay I sent him another text
I'm just gonna sit here and wait until he comes
I was gonna ask you about the jiu-jitsu tournament
Oh man Uh oh until he comes i was gonna ask you about the jiu-jitsu tournament oh man oh
i'm glad i'm it went really well i'll say that i'm really really happy how it went down
okay uh shitload of good competitors the first kid that avi went again i found this someone
told me this after the tournament the first kid that avi went again uh again again the first kid that avi went again i found this someone told me this after the tournament the first kid that avi went again uh again again the first kid that avi went against
hey jeff and you should start counting how long before i say my kids names too
um the first kid avi went against was the whatever junior pan-american champion at his age
and he armbarred avby in 20 seconds and then he
armbarred the next kid in 10 seconds and then that kid's day was done because he's just two and out
and uh and that and obby cried and then obby went up against another kid um who
but both these kids were a year older than obby but supposedly they were in the same weight class
but there weren't a lot of kids there so they were meshed they were smashing weight classes together
you you see that more often in um no gi classes no gis when you don't wear the shit
that the gear right the gis that like the pants the in the silly jacket everyone wears
but um and for those of you who don't do martial arts that's like part of the um
technique like taking the dude's clothing and fucking him up with his clothing everyone wears
the same clothes so you learn how to like take the dude's clothes and like choke him out with
yeah that's weird shit yeah and uh so so he lost both of his Gi matches.
Then he went into no Gi, and he beat the kid.
There was only one kid there, and he was a year older also, but lighter.
And he beat the kid in the first match like 9-2.
The second match they tied 4-4, but because that kid scored last, he got the win.
And then Avi wouldn't go on
the third match he's done he's done he just sat there and just cried oh and i pretend and i
pretended like i was a cool dad and i just smiled and i was like i love you good job i'm so proud of
you you worked hard and then once everyone was gone we were driving home i'm like you pussy
no i didn't do that.
I didn't.
But we talked about what tired meant.
I talked about tired man.
I told him that at some point I said, hey, I think it was a missed opportunity.
Like the other day I did a workout and it was 10 strict pull up after I rode the assault bike for 20 minutes and I did 220 calories.
I did 10 strict pull ups on the minute. And then on the alternating minutes, I did 110 pounds squat clean and that's it just back and forth. And I told
myself, I'm going to do all the pull-ups unbroken, right? Just 10 strict ends up being, well, in the
latter rounds, when I would get to eight or nine, I really wanted to quit. And I wasn't sure if I
could get my chin over the bar. And I have to tell myself, it doesn't matter if you get your chin
over the bar, it matters to get the proper stimulus and the adaptation i just have to try as hard as i can
and it would be that's probably better for me not probably that's better for me for what i'm trying
to do than getting off and getting my chin over the bar right and that's the opportunity that i
feel like obby missed and that's a hard that's a hard one because even at 50 i struggle with that
just when i'm alone in my garage i want to rest and get a full complete rep right but but he should have just
gone out there and been like hey i tried and i and i'm better today for it did like truly better
truly better not like oh you're better for the effort truly he truly would have adapted to it
if he would have he would have learned He would have learned. He would have grown mentally. Hey, I pushed through into a place that I wanted to quit.
And I got stronger because I'm really working this fatigue, muscle, intellectual, emotional.
And then Ari, I should actually play the video.
Ari's in – when they're that young, all the girls at that age look like they're better than the dudes.
Like you see tons of
chicks smashing boys and not so many boys smashing girls until like you get to 13 or 14
so ari was the only boy in his weight division and it was fucking murder's row dude five and
six year old girls fucking like they hit each other like they when they slap your head down
they hit you like this it's crazy aggressive it's so aggressive they start standing right at that
edge too yeah standing start standing and every kid wants to arm bar because every coach is because
they know that that's when the referees stop the match so all the coaches are there and and i have
no coach well that's not true that's not true mckenna came thank god mckenna came that's another
thing i'm so frustrated kind of with the jiu-jitsu program my kids are I'm frustrated yeah they don't all show up and kind of rally
around it or yeah yeah oh that's nice so one of the ladies that we do privates with she showed up
and just and just took control which I was so fucking thankful for oh that's really cool for
yeah do you have other people there where she did just basically for the boys just for the boys oh that's awesome if you want to if you want to get
in on if you don't if you want to get in good with someone just do something nice for their kids
they'll fucking owe you forever like this chick doesn't have any kids she's young she's just a
kid herself 20 but she has no idea how much it means to me that she showed up anyway ari had his match he got
fucking arm barred they stopped it late and his fucking his arm hyper extended you can see it in
the video yeah the wrong way so he's crying they put ice and hayley runs in and carries him out
and i thought okay he's done that's good and then uh about three minutes pass and hayley goes hey
you got to go talk to ari and i go what what's up? She's like, go talk to him.
So I go there, and he goes, I want to go back in.
I go, what?
And he goes, I want to go back in.
I'm like, you don't have to.
He goes, I want to.
I'm like, all right.
I take him back in.
Fucking next match, war.
Double leg, fucking knee on belly, arm bar, gets the win.
Really?
He's not English.
And then his third match was uh
tied zero zero at the end and uh the judge gave it to the girl so so he ended up getting a bronze
and joseph's like fuck you i'm not doing it so he's all geed up cost me 130 bucks he's like
and he wasn't he wasn't feeling it all right well that's how that chick shakes out huh second time second time in a row capable child consulting for 500 i will talk to you on the phone
for one hour
i thought there'd be more seven what do you know about parenting
ah he charges 500 for pay He thinks he knows how to parent.
Come meet him.
I was going to say, just have the kids hang out.
That's the resume.
Come meet the boys.
And the business card all in one.
So this morning afterwards, we're going,
there's this pretty...
I think this kid's better than Avi at tennis
and he's a year younger. People tell me he's not, but I think he is. This kid's better than Avi at tennis and he's a year younger people tell me he's not
but I think he is this kid's really fucking
aggressive and cool and his mom texts
me last night and goes hey you want to get the boys together at 9am
to play tennis I said fuck yeah
awesome
so after the show I'm going over to high school
and watch Avi fucking war
with this fucking six year old actually I think he's
seven now maybe he's not a year younger but
can I pay you $500 to tell me more Greg Glassman stories with this fucking six-year-old. Actually, I think he's seven now. Maybe he's not a year younger.
Can I pay you $500 to tell me more Greg Glassman stories?
Yes.
No, for $50,000, I'll start telling you some good ones.
Excuse me.
I think Caleb just grabbed a weapon to attack some bug we can't see.
Look at him.
Oh, he's armed now.
What's happening?
Wait, you're allowed to use those in there?
It's assault again.
Hey, so when I was in Newport, one of Sarah Cox's business associates.
Yes, yes.
Thank you. How often does he mention Newport?
When I was in Newport at the beach house, this fucking dude, I go, what's that? He goes, a salt gun. I'm like, oh, I've always wanted one of those. He shot me at point blank range, six inches away, twice in a row behind my knee in that soft fleshy spot.
spot and and and and i yelped and avi ran and it stung for a long time like salt actually penetrated the skin and avi ran over to the dude and goes give me that give me that and uh uh this
guy's a brown belt um uh paulie's a brown belt at aoj and he's all why and obviously because you
shot my dad and i'm gonna shoot you i'm like yeah oh damn we do we do
that to each other all the time we just shoot each other with a salt gun hey that guy in your eye
that could fuck your eyeball up yeah for sure everybody we gotta close our eyes i pro that's
a lie that's a lie caleb's just like concerned hr is gonna get him now yeah they don't do shit
hey so that salt's just everywhere then like you shoot it and it's just on the ground then hr is gonna get them now yeah they don't do shit they just shoot each other in the face
hey so that salt's just everywhere then like you shoot it and it's just on the ground then
yeah i can't have one of those in my house right yeah i would probably not an indoor thing but
unless you work in the military and you don't give a fuck we don't give two fucks
yeah hey so like if you were eating hard-boiled eggs in that room and you want a little salt you could just like take the egg and just dab it on the floor yep yeah if anybody if
everybody wants salt we just shoot it up in the ceiling and then it sprinkles everyone gets it
salt for everyone yeah exactly dude i stayed up late preparing for this dude i know i know
you really double checked with me and i was like yeah yeah, we're all good. And I, um, I got on the assault bike, uh, late last night.
Um, late.
Can't trust the Navy.
And I, he's a Navy guy.
I got on the assault bike late last night.
And I actually, as I got, I got on at 10 19 and I, and I stayed up for another hour and 15 minutes finishing the research on the guy.
10, 19, and I stayed up for another hour and 15 minutes finishing the research on the guy.
And I was actually thinking, I was like patting myself on the back the whole time, like, fuck, you're such a stud.
I did have this thought this morning I wanted to share with you guys.
This one means a lot to me.
I actually went over like an asshole and woke my wife up and shared this one with her.
Sundays are my fasting day. I stop eating Saturdayurday night as you guys know and i don't
eat again till monday morning i just drink black coffee i woke up this morning this is after doing
it for two years and i had this huge sense of relief that i did not have to eat today
and i'd never had that before.
Interesting.
And that's the evolution of fasting.
When it starts, people are scared.
You're like, oh.
I apologize.
I don't wish you like a happy 9-11 day or anything right kid that's not like a military day it's like we don't we don't celebrate that okay i don't know what that
i don't know what that appropriate term is um there's a flyover for it uh when people start
fasting they're scared across the board they're always like, well, I think I'm going to try 12 hours.
I'm like, oh, you're going to stop eating at 8 o'clock at night and go to sleep?
You can't eat until 8?
You jackass.
But –
Go to sleep?
Yeah.
But I understand 24.
You get a little nervous.
And what's crazy is that people do 24-hour fast, and then they start eating at 9 at night. I'm 24, you get a little nervous.
And what's crazy is that people do 24 hour fast and then they start eating at nine at night. I'm like, dude, just go to sleep and you can just crest.
You'll crest over into the 36 hour point.
What was your first fast?
How long was your first one?
Like when you first started to dabble?
Did you go first 24?
Did you just do, you know, it's crazy.
I think the first time I ever fasted in my life, I did a 10-day fast in college.
But we drank – I boiled – I simmered like onions and bananas, and I simmered all this shit in a bowl that I was supposed to – in a giant pot.
And then you strain out strain out all
the particulate and i think i just drank that shit for 10 days that was the first time i ever fasted
and then i i would never in my in my i never have considered 12 or 18 hours of fast never ever ever
in my life it's not even really a fast at that point either yeah like
i consider if you don't sleep twice if you if you can't go a day a whole waking cycle without
eating then you didn't fast it seems just like hey you just didn't eat it just seems like you
skipped a couple meals but now but today after two years i i like i was like and i told my wife
i go oh my gosh because when i go i'm fucking relieved i don't have to eat today i'm so i'm
i've become so thankful for sundays gratitude oh it's turned into like a religious practice for you
i i guess yeah powerful it's your holy day it is my holy day i don't um
i'm free i'm free from having to eat today it's like oh thank you i've set myself free
i've been thinking about trying it i just don't know if i could you're too young go that go that
long it's funny because all the guys it's like especially the firefighters i talked to they're
like oh i do intermittent fasting and i'm like do you really do you just do you just skip breakfast and then anytime you
you tell them to flip it you go okay great yeah so intermittent fasting why don't you try it by
skipping dinner and then not eating until noon the next day so stop eating at like 3 p.m yeah or 2 p.m
and then don't eat until noon the next day and they're like oh no you're like yeah you're not
intermittent fasting you're just skipping breakfast you're like yeah you're not intermittent fasting
you're just skipping breakfast you can't consider not eating but like on shift as like intermittent
fasting because it's like oh i missed a meal on shift right some people can't go a day without
eating bread i think the vast majority of americans dude when the power went last year
not last year but a couple years ago the power went out here for
days at a time in california where i'm at and people were freaking out like people close to me
i'm like dude relax
power's out it's okay starbucks is like we can go to starbucks in the next town over and survive
all right it's a few hours like fuck but it is weird when the power goes out for days
but but but not like but people get people get scared it's like when the wi-fi goes down
everybody panics well that's scary caleb come on they don't know what they're you know why because
they don't know what they're going to do with themselves yeah they can't like they don't know
how to entertain themselves for like the two hours that it goes down.
They're just like, I can't use my phone.
I can't like I have to talk to people like freak out.
I'm going to put you on the spot here, Sousa.
I apologize.
Sousa, I want you to still your brain.
I'm going to fire a question to you and I want you to answer it.
Ready? Yes. Still your brain, and I'm going to fire a question to you, and I want you to answer it. You ready?
Yes.
For those of you who don't know, Sousa lives in Livermore, California.
If you add water to any plant there, it will fucking flourish.
That's all.
I mean, he lives in, like, a spot where anything will fucking grow.
Yeah, that's pretty true.
Do you know where the closest – when you think of the closest tree that gives food to you, not right now, but just at any time during the year, can you immediately think of a tree?
Like, oh, yeah, that neighbor has an avocado tree.
Oh, yeah, I know.
My parents have an orange tree.
Do you know of a tree?
No.
You don't know of a plum tree every year?
You don't know?
You don't.
That means maybe you don't walk enough.
No, I walk a lot. Yeah enough no i walk a lot and you know
yeah i always yeah you do walk a lot and you run too right yeah yeah wow and you don't know where
like the biggest persimmon tree in your neighborhood is no i know all that shit even we're like
especially as i run or like if grace and i walk or something we're like looking around quite a bit
and i don't yeah it's funny there's not a tree that gives off a fruit Caleb
Caleb I want you
to clear your mind
and I want you to answer me
a question oh there's someone there
hey I gotta go
play it cool play it cool
can anyone hear me Caleb
yeah okay bye
sorry bye
I was gonna to ask Caleb,
where is the safest place to masturbate on bass?
Which spot does everyone know that is the safest place?
Probably those rooms that he's normally in
when he's in the back end of the show.
Have you seen that joke about Livermore?
That started to become popular. I can't remember if it's old and then just re- There's no joke about livermore that started to go that started to become popular
i can't remember if it's old and then just read there's no joke about livermore no one's even
heard of livermore shut the fuck up well that's the funniest part about it so this comedian goes
that he goes every time i ask where you people are from everybody's vague you say hey where
you from you go oh northern california he's like oh well that narrows it down where where in northern
california and he goes and then you'll answer the bay area he goes oh good well, that narrows it down. Where in Northern California? And he goes, and then you'll answer the Bay Area.
He goes, oh, good.
And you've narrowed it down again.
He goes, but really the whole entire time they're saying that is because they just want to avoid saying where they really live.
Because when you go, wait, where in the Bay Area?
They go, a place called Livermore.
So it's pretty funny.
Livermore is kind of a trip.
For those of you who don't know when you when you travel in between
so this might help when you travel in between um southern california and northern california
there's a freeway that a lot of people take it's our big corridor through the state but it's kind
of the corridor you have to go out to it it's in the middle of the state it's called highway five
and it's it's way out in the middle but if you want to travel long distances in the state you
go out to this freeway and you can drive pretty fast on it like people do 100 on it it's way out in the middle. But if you want to travel long distances in the state, you go out to this freeway, and you can drive pretty fast on it.
People do 100 on it.
It's like it's nothing.
So there's the Pacific Ocean,
and then there's this group of cities on the Pacific Ocean,
and it's called the Bay Area,
and they all surround where the water comes in in the bay.
And they all surround the bay, and those are all kind and they all surround the bay and those are like san francisco oakland benicia vallejo uh albany el cerrito richmond there's just all these
cities and then they go down on the bottom redwood city you know silicon valley's down around the
bottom there san jose um and but when you start heading inland to go to the five like the last kind of cool city before you
get out into the sticks to get on the five is livermore yeah and you're kind of not sure if
it's cool like you're kind of not sure if you call it the bay area but it's not stockton
it's not ghetto but it is kind of far out there but and it's um and it exploded um you know
40 years ago it was like the only place you could live in
afford to buy shit in the bay area so people would go out there and buy shit and then commute and now
it's fuck it's crazy right i mean you have like the traffic there now is fucking insane
you see we got a text oh yeah he said fuck
no too late too late he can't come on now
Oh, yeah. He said fuck.
Too late.
Too late. He can't come on now.
Too late.
To give you an idea, too, of the... Let's reschedule.
Because I need you
for the full
90 minutes
because you
are so damn
interesting and cool.
Please.
You're injured.
Because I need you for the full 90 minutes.
Come on now.
I'm off to the races on some other shit.
Yeah.
To give people an idea of how much livermore has grown too i think my parents bought the house
they still live in now in 96 for like 245 000 or something and now the house is worth 1.3
wow wow it's insane out here and it's not because they they built the second floor no it just like as the
development continued the houses became more and more and more on top of each other like some of
these new developments you could like reach out if you reach out your window and i reach out mine
we could like high five each other between houses so my parents house still sits on a big lot like
they have a side yard they have a big backyard you could walk to the like community center from
there you could walk down to the elementary school it's super close to the middle schools and high schools into the freeway and all
the major shopping but it's far enough away to where you're not like in the hustle and bustle
you don't know where there's an orange tree in that um oh wait nope you're right i lied there's
a lemon tree in my next to my neighbor's uh lowest tree on the's. Lowest tree on the totem pole. Lowest tree on the totem pole.
There used to be pomegranate trees all over now that I'm thinking about it.
And you could like grab them and we were a little asshole kids.
So we'd like throw them and then dial our clothes and like shit around us.
It's better than what most people do.
Most people don't.
Like you can drive around Santa Cruz and just at this time of year for the last three months and just look around and be like hey there's a tree like there's a tree with a thousand plums just smashed on the ground
no no no one harvested it and then just like a mile away there's an encampment with 600 homeless
people we voted prop 207 to tax you to raise money to feed the homeless people and put them
in your neighborhood we're going we're going to give them a free needle giveaway i'm so excited about this program
meanwhile there's just trees just everywhere you just in like you can't go a couple blocks
in santa cruz without finding a tree that's just dumped its shit on the ground somewhere
and that no one's harvested hey i used to do that when I worked at CrossFit and I was super rich. I never harvested my fruit in my yard. I just let that shit drop.
No, I will not touch you avocados from a tree, you vile creatures. I will go to the store and buy them.
I'm going to go to Whole Foods.
Five dollars each, you peasants.
you peasants which is funny now because like that that yard is awesome like if you walk around you do the tour and you like pull something off the tree and kind of brush it off and hand it over
and get to eat it and continue the tour it's so awesome when i went to newport i took like 60
apples it was great yeah the venue that we're at there's a like an apple tree and some other stuff
and so while we were like for your wedding yeah we're at, there's a, like an apple tree and some other stuff. And so while we were like doing for your wedding,
yeah,
we were doing a little,
your wedding has a venue.
Yeah.
Two venues.
Oh,
you're scaring me.
Oh,
fuck.
You're scaring me.
You're scared.
Uh,
slow is the best city in all of California.
I feel you.
I don't agree with you at all, but I feel you.
It's not like I'm like, hey, that's a stupid pick.
I feel you.
I feel you.
It's not like he was like low-dives the best city at all.
You know he went to college there and lost his virginity,
and so he's just like, it's just like he loves it.
It was a different tie.
You know what's funny?
That Austin dude, like as soon as that text came through,
it was clearly established that it was on him a little bit more.
I got so much relieved.
Oh, because they're like, oh, shit, did we say that in a long time?
I just never – yeah.
I mean, I just know – I mean, the audience,
especially the regular listeners know how much and how serious we take it.
It's nonchalant when we're on here.
And you're like, okay, the guests didn't show up.
And you're throwing a live call-in number.
And it doesn't happen often.
It does not happen often, especially now.
But every time it does, I'm like, ugh.
And I just feel the weight of the responsibility.
Even if it has nothing to do with it, it's still just like, it's got to go off.
We put so much into it.
Got to respect your time for the research. Respect our audience's time for showing up on here and participating the way they do in the comments.
And so it always just eats me up.
How many shows have we done?
587 or 89.
And so with game shows, we're we're up over six yeah yeah yeah yeah
i don't think i've ever not i don't think i've ever missed a show i've in a couple times like
583 yeah so yeah i don't know what i have but a couple times i was so sick like i didn't think
i was gonna make it like as i'm walking in here i'm like i might shit my pants or throw up or something and then it goes away once once the
camera goes on it goes away it comes back soon as the camera goes off but um the other day i wanted
to leave newport at uh 6 a.m and i my alarm didn't go off and i didn't get up till 6 17 a.m
and that never has happened when i've done a show
and i do a lot you know we do we do a lot of 6 7 a.m shows and holy shit dude it it turned out my
i what i guess it's obsessive compulsive disorder but my ocd like just one fuck up like that in my
life and i'm damaged i'm damaged triple i haven't really been able to sleep great because I'm just on edge now.
I cannot miss a show.
Dude, that happened to me years back at a 5.30 a.m. class at the gym.
You didn't show up.
Yeah, there was a switch of a schedule and everything else.
And so I had, you know, it was just an off by a date.
So one of the coaches that normally was there at 5.30 a.m., I thought it was the next day i was supposed to be there and she thought it was this date it was
totally my fault and um something happened that i like i woke up at like 5 40 about 10 minutes
after i was supposed to be there and i saw a text from one of the members that was there was like
hey there's there's nobody here and i did like like panic spring out of bed like threw the first
pants on that were closest in the closet and drove over there and it took like like panic spring out of bed and like threw the first pants on that were closest
in the closet and drove over there and it took like two years for me what time did you find what
time did you finally get there probably about 15 minutes after the class started because i live
close to the gym so it's only about five minutes away or yeah how do you and you know it's like
almost like what can you do to apologize to those people those people want to work out and then they
want to go to work and like you had one fuck up but it's still like you can't apologize no you
cannot you took that from them and i got lucky because one of the uh members that had been there
for a long time was like hey there's no point to just stand around here like let's go ahead and
start the warm-up and like just let everybody on a 400 meter run i came back like as i pulled in
the parking lot they're like stretching out there and like one person was leading it wow yeah and i like rolled in i was
like okay what have you guys done i hope you gave that dude a handy oh yeah it was actually it was
actually a chick but fine give her a handy i'm whatever so yeah it was cool and i just sent you
i just sent you an email Yeah that would Fuck me up too
But that's the thing
If you make like
Enough deposits into people's bank accounts
And you have all that
You get a lot of
Leeway in terms of mistakes
If you make a withdrawal
A withdrawal from the relationship
Oh yeah I like that
That is a good
It is a withdrawal from the relationship right Oh, yeah. I like that. That is a good – it is a withdrawal from the relationship, right?
Yeah, but if you make it up to them.
How do you make it up to them?
Okay. Never do it again. I mean you can't. Like you said, the whole drive there, you're like, what are you going to do? I can't roll the clock back 15 minutes.
do you think this guy knows you this is this is just to bear with me here susan all your all your classes are live yeah three two one we're live hi everyone yeah you're right
there's no my mom died i found out fucking uh grace is cheating on me there's no fucking uh
my best friend has cancer. There's no like,
hello.
Hi,
I'm here.
Welcome.
Come on in everyone.
Come on in.
I love you guys.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Don't mention your dog.
Don't think about your dog dying yesterday.
Don't think about your dog.
Don't think about how your wife ran your dog over an accident yesterday.
Don't think about it.
Okay.
Everyone get your bars.
I'm so excited about fucking today.
Thank you so much for being here.
God,
you guys look strong and it's just – you're off, right?
You have to be so fucking present.
Does this guy know that we go live?
Like does that – what's his name?
Austin Alexander, YouTube superstar, 1 million subscribers.
Do you think he knows we go live and like that if I wasn't the greatest podcaster in the world that that would fuck us
if i didn't have matt suza in my corner that that would fuck us like do you think those people know
like is he tripping right now oh my god what's that i'm doing i'm so what did i do to the show
oh i think i think i think he does a little bit yeah i don't know if it was like like all that
thought was going in her nose that it's like live and you're still just like beasting it out how about daniel brandon does she does she know she knows daniel rodriguez
did you see the fights how the fuck did daniel rodriguez get that win leach definitely won that
fight hey well how did you compare up against uh against adrian i wrote down your guys's stuff
your picks uh uh he chose uh tony ferguson so i won that one oh ds1 huh yeah dude it was the it was the
weirdest fight it was just like when his brother fought um no it was even weirder than that
have you ever seen have you ever like witnessed like gang fight at your high school or like just
a gang fight somewhere and just two dudes how they they kind of just like take turns hitting each other and like you can take breaks or
and they talk to each other it was like that they weren't even like there was some
it was like a mixture of like just two dudes who were like who respect each other and just
wanted to feel each other's shit it was kind of like um uh you and a friend would skip rocks to
see who could skip more but like let's just take turns hitting but you're fighters so you just take
turns hitting each other it was so weird it was so weird dude it was they're two of the weirdest
dudes why is it like the old school military where they would just line up in front of each other and take it? Yeah, it was like that.
It was like just, hey, or like that game.
Did you ever play butt ball as a kid?
And then like someone has to go up there and bend over and then you all throw the ball at them.
Like it's like handball or something.
I don't think we called it butt ball, but yeah.
I can't remember what we called it.
And then you had to just bean the dude if you lost a point.
Yes.
And then the second fight, third round grounder pound who uh uh holland and uh calms out it calms out one he's so easy really third round no first round
i think um ground and brown how did he win no uh uh submission wow okay he didn't
even get hit once it's like his it's like his seventh fight where no his opponent couldn't
hit him i mean the stats are there's no one like him there's the stats he ran oh so you know when
the two fighters come out you're supposed to bump their fist yeah the guy kevin hall went to bump his fist and homs lot took him down
and just mashed him it's kind of poor sportsmanship yeah bruce wayne texted me he's like what a bitch
i'm like yeah i agree yeah like the the bell rings so like technically you're supposed to
be able to defend yourself and like stay in the fight but come on um what do you think about max from training think tank
saying a noble metric should be taken out of the game no it's fucking i'd have to hear it but that
sounds stupid i watched a little bit of a hillar's video i kind of binged on some of his videos did
you see the one that he made about that old video camera and his mom and the wrestling and stuff
how new no no but i did
watch like three or four of his videos recently i really liked that video i thought it was good
he uh i guess him and dave have been bickering i guess basically people in dave's comments are
egging dave on day i guess dave castro did a show where he answers questions from his comments. So cool. Yeah. Which to me is just dear Dave.
It's a lazy contact.
Yes.
You lazy chicken shit.
Piece of shit.
Uh,
ask me anything.
I'm so cool.
Ask me anything.
Hey,
all whenever any of those athletes do that,
I just think you're a fucking,
but people like it.
Eat that shit up.
Like,
you know what I mean?
Like you go to like someone's account,
like,
uh,
you know,
and it's just like,
and it's just questioned.
Daniel Brandon does it.
Matt Fraser does.
I've seen,
it's just like people just fire.
What kind of toothpaste do you use?
When I'm like,
when's the last time someone snapped your bra?
Like,
that's what I want to know.
Wait, is Daniel still doing, can I ask that? No, I don't know. I'm just, I'm like, when's the last time someone snapped your bra? Like, that's what I want to know. Wait, is Danielle still doing?
Can I ask that?
No, I don't know.
I'm just, I'm just.
Oh my goodness.
Cause there is one of them that got put up there.
Oh, the first thing.
What a cool thing to do.
Snap someone's bra.
Do you remember like, do you remember like even when you, one of your, your boyfriends,
like he'd have a rubber band and you'd grab it and now it's stretched out and someone has to let go and if he lets go you get his rubber band if you let go he's
fucked up and it's like this fucked up situation yeah that's what it's kind of like being a girl
you just wear a rubber band around your chest just asking people to fucking do you
do you see the thing where you can wind up a rubber band like on itself so it's really wound
up and then you could like let it go in someone's hand it wraps up their hand yes yes that's a great
one or in their arm hair yeah you can just do it so yes that's a great one oh yeah that shit's
brutal oh my goodness um what heidi when's the last time someone snapped your bra that's what i want to know but if they ask me anything
it's funny that you mentioned that about the live classes because i didn't really think about it
until you had said it right there i coached a class after like finding out that my dog died
on my birthday i remember i told that story And then I also coached the class immediately.
How did your dog die?
How did your dog die?
It was just old.
It was a beagle and it was like 15 or 16.
That's different than like your girlfriend.
That was different though than your,
not to say it doesn't still sting,
but that's different than like your girlfriend
left it in your car and killed it
because it overheated.
That's like, that's like you're fucked up a little.
You got, you got some shit to process. There's something that's like you're fucked up a little you got you got some
shit to process there's something that comes with the circle of life to it but someone has
snapped your bra do you remember the do you remember taking off a bra in the early day do
you remember being like 16 years old and taking off a girl's bra and your brain's just like
exploding yeah like i just take the bra off and just run away out into a field i
don't even touch the boobs and look and i just can't believe i took off someone's bra i just
bye
okay sorry back to your dog dying your story is so much cooler than me taking off guys go on
uh no but that was one of them and then the second one was immediately finding out after
grace's uh dad had passed away i coached a class right after oh wow yeah i guess there is this
doubt saying stop thinking your problems will end and so there is that component of like if you give
of yourself fully all your own shit goes away. But man.
When Grace's dad dies, we probably shouldn't talk about this publicly.
But it's more you're worried about her than her dad, right?
A hundred percent.
Like if someone in my family dies, I throw a pity party for myself. If someone in Haley's family dies, I'm worried about my wife.
I'm still sad that they died, but I'm kind of like, you're like, fuck.
I should be with Grace right now.
Right?
Instead, I'm in here telling some guy he's doing a good job with your squats, and they actually really suck.
Yeah, keep your fucking knees out, Chase.
This guy, Austin Alexanderander you guys have probably seen
some of his videos he does these videos where he goes out into a parking lot and he pays people
five dollars for every time they bench 135 or something like that and he just randomly picks
people and it's pretty fucking cool yeah i actually like it but that being said the range of motion
that you see in all of the like we are gods you have to know that as a crossfitter we're gods
our push-ups we
no one no one we go all the way down on our pull-ups we get our chin over the bar
we go all the way down on our push-ups we squat below parallel we stand up all the way
the worst of you are gods compared to just the general public.
It is a joke watching the general public workout.
I mean, I'm still glad they do it.
And I know moving is important.
But have you seen these people who like are doing like quarter squats, like with fucking 225 on their back?
And like they what I can the whole time.
I'm like, God, if you've done that for years all you're doing is reducing your range of motion and i would way rather have fantastic range of motion than be strong like
bull way rather yeah people don't realize too that that how much of uh people's like for lack
of better words of the restriction on the range of motion or like the decrepitude that is starting
to settle in on some of the older members of the gym. And they're like, I can't get there in my squat. When they start there again, their hips
back and they're trying, but they're barely, they're getting to like the same depth as like
a push press. Right. And then you, that same individual sticks with it. Like six months later,
they're at parallel. And then a year after that, they have a full range of motion squat.
And they can't even remember not.
Exactly. And it's so important because unless they take their hips through that range of motion squat and they can't even remember not exactly and it's so
important because unless they take their hips through that range of motion and stuff like that
you're it's never going to come back it's never going to just magically you know if you don't
don't use it you lose it that's so true with that range of motion i can't remember where my friend
went but he went somewhere and he couldn't there were elephant rides and he couldn't ride the
elephant couldn't get his like hip his leg
up over couldn't get his legs wide because the elephant's back is so wide he didn't have the
flexibility to ride the elephant oh shit that would never fucking happen to me
here comes the here comes the clip i can ride anything no matter how big it is
anything no matter how big it is
try to find some of those shorts you're talking about but i think they're only on his youtube channel what yeah i saw him yeah so dude his i think he might be like a tiktok superstar i never
went to his tiktok account but he runs his youtube page exactly the same way that
the prisoner guy what's his name jesse jesse crompson runs his and now that's how i run my
child consult parenting capable child consulting youtube page i just make short videos
yes i can i can find almost any hole i just not into the cheerio we've already
stashed the cheerio i don't i'm not a cheerio guy what a stupid cereal
cheerios did you did you eat those cheerios yeah yeah they're heart healthy remember oh right
start your day off with heart healthy cheerios
i didn't like the texture i didn't like the taste yeah i wasn't a huge cheerio um person either
did you see the uh videos i sent you the the notes the life-long ones yeah there's one um
uh another executive gone right below that.
There's one that says send this to your daughter, and it's just a fucked up massive typo somewhere.
But can you play that Instagram clip?
You guys, when I see this, the whole time I just think – and I do this a lot in my life.
I just think, oh, what if that was my daughter in the car?
I don't have any daughters, but I just think, what if that was my daughter in the car?
Check this out, please.
This is Ed Manifesto's Instagram page.
This guy was on the show.
I should probably have him on again.
Yeah, definitely should.
Okay.
Here we go.
It's a guy, random guy, checking her car door to get in.
She's at a light.
You think that's okay?
One more time.
Can I move?
Gotta get out of the way.
Gotta get out of the way.
You gotta move.
I gotta go to work. Look at the people just driving by. Yeah, no one's stopping. Oh, I way. You gotta move. I gotta go to work.
Look at the people just driving by.
Yeah, no one's stopping.
Oh, I see.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, it's okay.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Thumbs up.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
You think it's okay for someone to do that to your daughter?
Fuck no.
Yeah. You find that gas pedal and you to do that to your daughter? Okay. Fuck no. Yeah.
You find that gas pedal and you put that dude under your tires.
Yeah.
So he tries her car door and then he stands in front of her car.
At what point does he – what if – I know some of you are going to be like, no, he's just mentally ill or whatever.
But what if he – what if he, what if she feels threatened?
You could hear her voice.
She was.
What if she pulls something out?
What if he reaches into his pocket?
When, when does your daughter's life become?
Yeah, I don't know if you, I don't know if you run them over.
If it's my, what if it's your pregnant wife in the car?
What if it's your wife, your pregnant wife with your mom and your three daughters in the car
i mean that's not even like a one in a million odd someone probably drove by with their mom
and some kids in the car uh i had this talk again the other day with someone who was at my house last night during the fights.
They were talking about being – this person is pretty hardcore liberal.
And they were talking – I wish I could remember the exact example they gave.
But they were talking about being threatened and taking care of yourself, at which point I said, oh, oh, this was the story.
You're going to love this, Sousa.
There's a fighter, guys.
His name's Cain Velasquez.
And allegedly someone molested his daughter, and he went to this dude's house and chased this dude in a car chase and shot at the dude, missed the dude, and hit the dude's dad who was in the car.
No one died.
Now Cain's in jail for 10 years, right?
dad who was in the car no one died now kane's in jail for 10 years right and it's tough because if this guy really did molest his daughter you want to be like hey man fucking the gloves are off
anything's possible at that point that being said you can't approve a vigilante shit and this person
who was at my house yesterday he's a pretty hardcore liberal there said they said to me this
which i totally fucking agree with they said hey man what kane did was fucked up and i said why
and they said what if a stray they they it was a it was on the streets of the bay area somewhere
somewhere in between mine and matt's house and it was a car chase and he shot at the guy i think
and even if he didn't that doesn't matter even if the details of the story aren't right the point
is this what if one of those stray bullets would have fucking hit like some kid on the sidewalk on his big wheel?
Like, fuck you.
You can't do that.
That being said, that's why if you fucking tussle with a fucking cop, you should have a fucking cap put in your ass.
Because a cop has a fucking gun on him.
And the second I see you fucking attack a cop, I want to come over and fucking curb stomp your head.
Why is that because what if you get the cop's gun and shoot the cop and miss and fucking hit avi the greatest kid who ever
walked planet earth then then then what and there's stories like that too it's super sad
yes you should not so so it's kind of interesting right um
yeah what kane did was fucked up what if he accidentally shot the shot even if you think You should not – so it's kind of interesting, right?
Yeah, what Kane did was fucked up.
What if he accidentally shot – even if you think you're doing the right thing, there's – you can't do that for so many reasons.
I'll never forget this. I'll never forget this footage of this boy.
He was 15 years old, and he's running from the fucking cops, and he has a gun.
And the cops are chasing him, and they shoot him in the back and kill him.
are chasing him and they shoot him in the back and kill him and then later on i find out as i looked into the story more that he was in the yard of a preschool oh shit and he was and his only way
out was through the preschool and he had a gun yeah sorry dude if i'm one of those parents at
that preschool i'm like well you're making some tough choices there as a cop yeah like i gotta
i gotta bake a cake for that cop.
Like I can't have that.
I can't have random 15 year old boy running from police run through preschool with gun.
And you have to think if you're already bold enough to be out there with a gun to have the police somehow evolved in that incident.
And now you're running away with that gun.
The scenarios that are running through their mind as you're headed to the elementary school are not good.
They're going worst case scenario, right?
Like he's going to take a hostage he's going to take a
few people out as he goes with them you don't know what that person's capable of and then at the same
time that responsibility of well why did you let him run in there with a gun is going to come back
to you so those are some tough fucking calls i mean imagine being like okay do i shoot the student
in the back or do we assume he's going to run into the preschool and not shoot and you know not harm
any kids there and you have you know, not harm any kids there.
And you have,
you know,
less than a second to make that decision.
Two seconds to make that decision while you're out of breath,
while you're running again,
this is why cops are law enforcement brothers and sisters need to work the
fuck out.
Yes.
Cops that are fat.
I'm sorry,
dude.
Like I,
I got mad love for all my first responders,
but when I see them and they are extremely
overweight and you tell that you could tell they have not ran a 400 meters in years, five
years, 10 years, you're a fuck.
You're a liability.
Not only are you a liability to those you're supposed to be protecting and serving your
liability to your immediate team, your colleagues, and your liability to yourself and your own
family.
It's crazy. That's negligent.
That's negligent on your job. What if I was- And you're taxing society.
Yeah. What if I was coaching, but wasn't coaching at all? Was just kind of sitting there,
had my back turned, hung out in the front most of the time, was on my phone.
You wouldn't be paid for your job. They'd be like, hey, you're negligent in your job. You're
not supposed to do your part. You're not doing what you're supposed to do to keep us safe and to keep us moving towards our goals and if you're a law
enforcement officer or a first responder and you're morbidly obese and you have you know there's no
physicality to you you can't run you can't jump over stuff you can't protect stuff what point is
it negligent to your job and are you let go what percentage what is landfill full i wonder is there a breakdown of what fills landfill
plastics i bet because they take the longest to decompose so they probably sit there the longest
landfill demographic
did you mean san francisco what what what what um makes up a landfill i suck at using google commercial it's a household
waste like it's not what are the four types organic waste example food paper cardboard or wood
so that's it i i noticed i thought of this when i went to uh disneyland
if if i drink one coke a day and you're obese and you drink six you make
six times the pollution i make if i go to the hospital once every 30 years but you go to the
hospital every six months you use 60 times the resources in 30 years medical resources that i
use i always just think of that too when i hear people discussing that stuff i'm like you're like a mass consumer
you're a mass mass mass consumer
snitches feed landfills i don't mean to be cavalier about just shooting people either
i i know the decisions are tough you know my when i talk about this with my dad he straightens me
out like i said to my dad um hey man when, when those people on January 6th fucking stormed the Capitol building, I think they should have just opened fire on them.
My dad's, I guess you could say he's a liberal. He's like, no, you can't do that. I'm like, nah, there's some places that are just sacred. Like we should protect our servants, our civil servants with, you know, by any means necessary.
Our civil servants are civil servants by any means necessary.
And he's like, nah, and we talked about it.
And I'm like, yeah, I guess you can't just start just shooting people down.
But it just seems unacceptable to – I mean imagine if just one person walked in there with like a backpack.
They would get fucking jumped by 10 cops and dragged out.
Do you know who Andrew Tate is?
Have you heard of that guy oh yeah yeah uh he uh he's the guy yeah i've seen a couple of his videos um he got kicked off of youtube or tiktok because
he was talking about women in a way that like someone thought was sexist or something. Yeah. Yeah. Just crazy. Crazy.
He has some interesting one-liners things.
When,
when I was in the eighth grade, I was in model UN.
It was for the smart kids.
I don't know.
Do not know how I got into that.
And it was a horrible student at school.
And,
and so all the schools from the area came in, right?
So there was like, I don't know, 500 kids from like 50 schools.
And I, we were representing some country, I forget some Middle Eastern country, like
Saudi Arabia.
That's who we were supposed to be.
And when I went up and spoke, like our thing was, is that I said, I gave this whole talk about how women are equivalent to cattle and how they should only be used for breeding and they shouldn't be allowed to vote and they should be kept covered up and all this shit.
I was going crazy up there and I fucking got in trouble for that.
But it was all shit that I had read and we didn't have internet then, but it was all shit that I read in an encyclopedia.
You know what I mean?
The beliefs of this country.
And I got in fucking trouble.
Well, it's interesting.
The reason why I bring it up is because he made a comment on a podcast or something I was watching.
And he was saying that part of the problem with the Western world and the U.S. is nothing's held.
What are? Pull-ups are the problem?
No, no, no. Part of the problem in the U.S the U S is like, nothing's held. What are pull-ups are the problem? No, no, no.
Part of the problem in the U S or the Western world is nothing is held
sacred.
He goes,
they were in a,
uh,
I think it was a Nelf boys podcast,
but they were in Romania or someplace.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
That's where I saw him.
They're sitting on a patio.
Yeah.
And I watched like 15 minutes of that.
Yeah.
He seems like a nice guy.
He does be interesting,
but he goes, uh, nothing's held does be interesting but he goes uh nothing's
held sacred anymore and he goes especially in the western world he goes you're here which is
a predominantly christian country and you could write on there like god is gay or something like
that that would kind of go against some of the religious beliefs and he goes and you're gonna
walk out of here fine he goes but if you do the same thing and you put prophet muhammad is and
you go to a middle eastern country because good luck getting out of there alive yeah yeah yeah
and so it's kind of interesting but what you were almost saying is like that
building should have been held sacred a little bit. Not that they should have just opened fire
on people coming in there, but there is no fear of that. But if you go to some other countries
and you wear a Prophet Muhammad shirt and say something negative about it, that's held sacred
there and the chances of you being hurt or killed are high.
During the BLM riots, they took over a police station in Seattle and a police station in Ferguson.
The one in Ferguson, they lit the police station on fire while there were police officers inside.
They had to be helicoptered off the roof, if I remember the report correctly.
Holy shit.
Those that's like Billy the Kid shit. That's like 18-fucking-1807 shit.
I don't think that that's acceptable.
I – if I see you lighting a building on fire with the people inside, I'm okay with someone opening fire on you.
I don't think our police station should be allowed to be taken over.
They shut down a city block for like a month in Seattle.
I mean,
people live there.
Yeah.
But I don't think that that's okay.
I think that,
I think there is a,
by any means necessary moment.
Well,
that's what I say.
So the point being about that Andrew Tate thing is like,
do you think that we should hold stuff in that,
in that regard?
Like,
should we hold something that sacred to where it's like you're going to die if you go over there.
They'll shoot you.
When you think about what money is, stealing is a really, really gnarly crime.
Stealing – you're basically taking time from people.
I mean it is what we use to trade for each other's time is currency, and it's the most valuable thing we have.
It's the only thing we have for exchange really.
Will you play 330?
I think that this is a little misleading, but this is – but in essence, this is my experience with the world too and this is why
the liberals are so dangerous
and it was like that amongst all my
liberal friends when I only had liberal friends
there is a close minded to them and
I'm not saying that there's not close minded to people
on both sides I don't even know what side
I'm on anymore but
this is this is so
fucking difficult this guy
was on the show I don't know 300 shows 300 shows ago, by the way, Corey.
This is a pretty cool clip here he's got.
When you take a black Democrat and place him around those white MAGA extremists.
I wanted to take you over here with me to the Trump supporter side.
And so you can experience what's over here on the Trump supporter side.
And maybe you can show me
if there is racism over here that I should be concerned he wants to know if he's going to be
safe inside there if he goes yeah come on then you go with us
we're all one people right they all think that you're crazy asking him if you're going to be
safe here they're like what is he going to be safe here. They're like, what?
Is he going to be safe if he goes in there?
Him?
Yeah.
Why not, man?
Okay, why not?
I guess what?
I grab your hand, take you, your wife, your kids, and your granddad, everybody in here.
They don't, black, white don't mean.
Now what happens when the Democrat takes the Trump supporter over to the Democrat side?
We are going to do the opposite.
He went up to the Trump side. We are going to do the opposite. He went into the Trump rally with me.
And now I'm going to go over
with the demonstrators with him
and see if I get treated
with love and tolerance.
Let's go see.
It's very hard to have a conversation I swear it's like that in the Bay Area it's crazy
yeah Gary did not win his fight in the Bay Area. It's crazy.
Yeah.
Gary did not win his fight.
I think he won the fight.
I think he won the fight.
Yeah, I've seen it too.
I grew up with it.
I grew up with it.
I was it. I was it.
Isn't that weird? How do people not realize that. I was it. I was it. Yeah. I was it. Isn't that weird?
How do people not realize that?
Yeah.
I was it.
We should have CrossFit health insurance, but you have to attend a certain number of CrossFit classes for you to qualify.
Daniel, I went to Africa.
And I met with a guy who owns god this guy was so rich he owned a skyscraper i went into his skyscraper like a real skyscraper
that's crazy like a real one like a big motherfucker like 70 stories like massive
whatever like probably one of the biggest buildings in south africa 50 stories and it
was crazy too because the center of it had this huge atrium.
It was nuts.
Anyway, he's an insurance megastar.
And I think he probably is like the second or third largest insurance company in Africa
on the entire continent.
And we went over there, a bunch of us from CrossFit went over there and met with him. And what he had done was he had scraped our open records of all the people.
Have you heard this story, Sousa?
No.
He'd scraped all the names of all the people in our open.
I think that's what it's called.
IT people call it scraping.
And he ran it against all the people that they insure.
And he found like 12,000 people that they insure who also did the open health insurance.
And then he looked at the cost of insuring those people versus the rest of his clientele.
And just like you might have thought, they had significantly less health costs every single aspect of their
health costs was down except for orthopedic calamity that was the only one that was up
that meaning like broken bones to fucking torn labia uh it's not a labia what's the thing in
your fucking shoulder uh i i got whatever the thing is in here
you know what i mean we hurt each other in crossfit you get a you get that plantar fasciitis
you fucking you know you get that fucked up elbow that hillary has whatever the shit happens
crossfitters but it was so much less the cost of taking crossfitters to uh taking care of
crossfitters than the general public that we were in process of figuring out.
I mean, it's so obvious.
And here's the thing.
For those of you who want to talk about science, one of the only true sciences, like really true,
and none of them are true, but the closest thing you can get to true science is what actuaries do.
Actuaries are the guys who
figure out what to invest in and what to bet on in order to make money so insurance companies are
like that's their whole shtick how much should we charge for a black kid who's 37 years old who
wants life insurance versus a guy who lives in the palestinian territories who's 27 years old
all they're doing is fucking judging and breaking
down and finding fucking the algorithm for fucking health and money and safety and all that
and and and all the truth lies with them because at the end of the day they chase the dollar and
they have to make money there's no other metric that matters right and so labrum thank you jeff
the first first positive thing you've
contributed to the show jeff thought i wanted to take away the first amendment and uh
jeff thinks he's lost his virginity um uh and this guy and they knew that crossfitters were
a fucking gold mine for fucking if you could get them into some sort of insurance program.
So let's say if the average person in the world spent $200 a month on insurance, CrossFitters only spent $2 a month, but you still charge them $100.
And now you're making a fucking huge chunk of money.
So everyone saves money.
And it's known.
It's known.
It's definitely known.
What a lot of insurance companies have around
the world by the way i don't know if we have this stuff in the united states but and i think we have
some of it in the united coming to the united states there's apps that you can turn on when
you drive and it tracks how you drive and the speed limit you go and that adjusts your rate
but there's also apps like in africa and other places that this insurance company did where they
track if you went if you go into a gym so when you go into a gym like you wave your phone in front of something there and you get a gym credit i mean you could turn around
and walk out but basically they lower your insurance based on that too um it's interesting
it's interesting shit well like you said they're not dealing in uh anything else but the facts and
the statistics on the situation that are going to make money so you don't get lost in all these
conflating emotional issues you're just looking at the numbers and the statistics on the situation that are going to make money so you don't get lost in all these conflating emotional issues.
You're just looking at the numbers and giving you the best predictive value so you can place your bet.
That's it.
Yes.
It's the only thing that matters.
Everything else doesn't matter.
Man, I swear to God I erase things on my notes.
I don't know why they stay on there.
I don't know why they stay on there oppressed drawing i already did that white house logic
i already did that i already did the australian guy why is that stuff still on here i'm erasing
it like right now a saudi ambassador dies i erase that huh black lives matter cut your breasts off
we did that already yeah that. That one was scary.
We did fat, ugly chicks at abortion rallies.
We did that.
Oh, 312.
No rep.
What's that?
Done that?
I'll make it appear.
When we have Nunley on and he hits the vape pen, it breaks my heart.
I feel so – so oh this is crazy
i think we have shown this this is worth showing again this is the i i would i would argue this is
the craziest thing i've ever seen at a i'm assuming this is a crossfit some sort of crossfit event
right does it need audio i can't remember no i don't think so this is fucking nuts dude oh my goodness she is she's bold she's bold hey dude
that that could have easily have killed her oh, especially if it chopped her in the head and then it took her – like it fell on her against the gate at the same time.
That could easily – she died a few days ago.
What?
Oh, the Queen of England.
That could have easily killed her.
Craziest thing.
Look at this.
Look at this person here with their hands like, oh, my gosh.
It's like looking away. Hey, that's the kind of thing like if there wasn't video of it and someone
told you you would that you would struggle to believe right you would be like how but how
how did he drop the bar over her but not hit her where was there room for her to go
i mean was she lubed up was she covered in astroglide i mean how did that get past her
that's crazy.
Jeff said he would call in, but he doesn't want to use up cell phone minutes.
What is this, the fucking early 2000s?
Cell phone minutes.
Please don't call in.
He's got a burner phone from 7-Eleven.
It's only got hundred minutes on it.
One day,
Bruce Wayne's going to be drunk on the show and fucking just wax you.
It doesn't matter.
You're going to get just,
I have to build it.
You have to build a burner account to get back.
Okay.
So is that,
that one was called no rep.
No rep.
Okay. I erased it and it's, and it just popped back up.
Where are you erasing it from?
Just right in my email.
Like I have a draft email.
Okay, okay.
Interesting.
How about 310, Vape is so addictive?
This is why I get so sad when I see Nunley hitting the va vape because i don't think if you guys if you know
anyone who vapes like it's a problem like you're looking at a bona fide drug addict it's like
looking at someone who's like morbidly obese it's like oh shit you know this person is look at this
fucking shit here this like like i know how this girl dies and the whole world knows too i know how she dies
look at she takes a hit off her drink hit off her vape to go like i i know i get it
i seen a drug addict i know i know that's full drug addict shit
doja doing dojo things doja doja do Full drug addict shit.
Doja doing dojo things.
Doja, doja, doja.
Dude.
So, you're muted.
So hard to quit that shit.
She chucked that thing down.
Yeah.
I so know how she dies. Hey, she has 40 of those around her house when you roll like that.
It's so fucking hard to quit that thing. i fuck with that thing for a few minutes that thing is
fucking crazy i never never liked the vape things i never really tried them or got into it
i don't think that was uh j-lo i think it was doja
i don't know who doja is
uh 311 uh mr biden and covid oh this one's just classic i want to say how do you guys have any
friends who um were who were so convinced that the vaccine would work and do you ever like like show them clips like this where it's like Biden saying the vaccine would work?
Just take it. And like now we know it doesn't work.
And like now, like some of us, like we even know it kills people.
I mean, it's just here we go. Biden spreading misinformation about covid and vaccines.
This is nuts. And the truth is, most of us wouldn't have even cared, except I'm fucking shadow banned.
I remember when I would tell people I was shadow banned and they thought I was a crazy conspiracy theorist.
And even still today, some of you will fucking text me like, oh, shit, shadow or DM me.
Shadow banned is real.
I get one of those a week.
Like, hey, something weird's going on on Instagram.
I can't tag you.
You dumb fuck.
This has been going on forever.
They kicked the
president of the united states off of twitter nuts look at this oh shit wow is that really true
look her up didn't i just tell you i know how this ends dude i'm telling you if you know anyone
who's fucking with those you should it should break heart. I know how it ends for all of you.
It's not good.
Doge.
Okay, let's do this Biden thing, and then we'll come back to it.
Matthew, thank you.
That's great.
I don't know what your profile picture is either, but it's kind of cool.
It's like lightning striking a pregnant woman.
I don't know what the fuck that is.
Are those mountains?
I don't know what that is.
I want to come back to that.
Matthew Carbajal. That's a beautiful name too carbaugh hall okay you're not gonna you're not gonna get covet if you have these vaccinations yeah you're okay you're not gonna you're not gonna
get covet if you have these vaccinations yeah you're okay you're not gonna you're not gonna
get covet if you have these hey if someone 82 years old is
talking to you about shit like that that that's not 82 year olds have a fucking huge value to
society of why shit they can tell you a vaccine talk is not one of them probably
you just have to weigh the fact that look at the genre they came from they came from the word all
faith in the medical establishment those are the people that think that there's actual truth. We've already established that, right? You guys know that there is no such thing as truth, that you can't know anything. All we do is try to believe things that have the greatest predictive value, but we don't know anything.
Everyone knows that, right? There's no such thing as gravity. It's just an idea that we use to get predictive value on how objects move around in our ecosystem.
Like everyone knows that.
Please.
We know that red doesn't actually mean stop.
We just kind of agree on it so we don't get in car accidents.
But we know that psychiatrists, we have no idea how psychiatric drugs work.
We're just like testing them out on kids.
Like everyone knows that, right?
Fucking we live with nincompoops okay uh but so so look up that chick doja that's dude you have that thing is so scary those vape pens they are the funnest thing they're
more dangerous than they're more fun than – they're more fun than porn. They are just –
Oops.
Vape pens are better than Cirque du Soleil.
I mean they are so cool, but they will ruin your life.
They come at the cost of your life.
I mean it's like – here's a vape pen you're dead hey shouldn't the uh
did you want to read that by the way uh doja cat has canceled much of her anticipated summer tour to tackle health issues in her throat i was hoping to see a picture i can can you put doja
vape yeah hold on you can just see the way she hits it and throws it down and run like she can't do
anything like that's a chick who has sex and vapes at the same time oh she's uh 70 days free from
vape wow wow good honor there's no doja good job there's not any photos just like her hitting a vape pen if if you do not have kids
you have no excuse to only be driving forward with plan a fuck pan plan b no plan b
if you have kids i have to you have to pay me five hundred pay me $500 an hour and I can talk to you about possibly a plan B.
If you don't have kids, you cannot have a plan B.
And what does that look like?
You are going to be the best horse jockey who ever lived on planet Earth.
You have no plan B.
You're completely committed to it.
But it doesn't mean.
But what it doesn't mean.
Is at the end of the day.
You devise a new saddle for horses.
That becomes.
Replaces all previous saddles in the history of man.
And you never achieve your goal.
To be the best horse jockey who ever lived.
But since you. But you do invent the greatest saddle
ever you have to be malleable and still have no plan b you just you you have to be smart you have
you have to you have to be intuitive when my son today sorry avi i hate to pick intuitive. When my son today – sorry, Avi.
I hate to pick on you.
When my son yesterday said he was about to win the gold medal and he didn't go out and do his third match, and he said it was because he was tired, he had a plan B.
Yeah, to not do the match.
He had a plan B.
because the if if if his if his no plan b was to go and no matter what win the gold and he didn't win the gold and he gave it his all he still did no he still had no plan b and there was some still
some other fruit he got but he used some word that's not even a real word i'm tired who made
that an excuse to not do something why would being tired be an excuse not to do something?
Who made that up?
How retarded are you that you think that that's an excuse not to do something?
Now, you're fucking working a sewing machine that's the most industrial sewing machine in the world, and it could easily fucking take off your finger, and you're tired.
That's when you say hey i don't
have the mental because i've been working on this machine for 12 hours i don't have the mental
capacity to keep using it uh i'm exhausted on on enough levels that this machine has become
dangerous then you do and tired just a something to sort of encapsulate that. But to use I'm tired just as this blanket excuse not to do something.
When you're doing a workout and you're not using dangerous weights and you're exhausted and you
want to tap and you don't tap and you make it to the end, 100% of the time. So the workout is, uh, Cindy and you tell yourself,
no matter what, you're going to do 20 rounds. Even if you go over the 20 minute mark and you
get to 18 and you're at 27 minutes and you want to quit, you just don't, you just don't. Even if
you have to go to the kitchen, get like a bitch and get a glass of water. You just don't, you go
back in the garage and you finish that shit and every time you're happy that's no
plan b that's no plan b you can quit i said on i thought you said you can't quit vaping i think
you let me tell you something what you can't quit you can't can't quit the thought of vaping i think you let me tell you something what you can't quit you can't can't quit the
thought of vaping that bitch wants to vape that bitch 70 days she's gonna be 7 000 days in and
she's gonna still have the thought she wants to vape still gonna want to it's funny that
you're here because you're upset you have a small dick and you're taking it out on the rest of us
that'll be 300 for that advice no i don't do anything for
less than 500 that's 500 when tony andrews put the thing about like no plan b he was like is it
anti-abortion every time i wear that shirt one person asks me that wow wow i purpose abortion
yeah no what does that thing look like what is that we only have three minutes left sorry
what does that no plan b packaging look like what is um josh bridges was recently on a podcast and
i watched the first 45 seconds of it and he used the no plan b like the host did he was like you do whatever whatever that sounds like that's like no plan b
and then josh goes yeah and it was funny because i was like i wonder if in that moment he was
thinking like fucking settle on i'll send it to you you just have to watch the first 45 seconds
um what podcast was it can we play that real quick oh shoot yeah let me i'm gonna have to
check the history because it was it was randomly my – What were you about to look up though?
The No Plan B pill.
Oh, yeah.
No Plan – want me to look that up while you look for the podcast?
Yeah, sure.
Because everything on – when I searched No Plan B came up with like the same type of stuff you're discussing.
I'm just going to put Plan B abortion pill.
Let's see the packaging of this thing because i always hear funny shit about it
images
oh shit dude this thing is like this thing is like razors it's all fucking locked up at the uh
it looks like it's all locked up at the store like
well everything's locked up now but yeah that would that's been behind the
counter for sure so it's just this one little pill in the middle like it's not as much packaging as
i thought i mean it's a lot but so you just what's the definition of contraception is that
is that really contraception con uh oh he, he was on Shaw's Strength Podcast, which is that super strong guy.
So plan B is not contraception because contraception is it prevents pregnancy.
Well, can you prevent pregnancy even when you're already pregnant?
A woman can get pregnant if a man's sperm reaches one of her eggs, okay?
Contraception tries to stop this happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Okay, so contraception is something you use to stop the sperm from getting to the egg.
That's what I thought. And so plan B, I think that's for after the sperm gets to the egg that's what i thought and so plan b that i think that's for
after the sperm gets to the egg so it's a misnomer to call it contraception right
yeah i don't know if it qualifies right i mean it term doesn't it immediately terminate the chances
of the pregnancy when you take the plan b pill i don't think plan b does anything to
the i think it only does things to an egg that's already been fertilized how does plan b pillow i don't think plan b does anything to the i think it only does things
to an egg that's already been fertilized how does plan b work it was brian shaw whose podcast he was
on oh really brian shaw has a podcast yeah yeah he must have just started because i know he has
a lot of youtube subscribers but the podcast has 20,000. But I think he has –
That's the strongest man in the world, right?
Yeah.
Oh, Plan B acts primarily by stopping the release of an egg from the ovary.
It may prevent the union of sperm and egg if fertilization does occur.
Wait, how could it prevent the union?
Oh, sorry. If fertilization does occur, plan B may prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the womb. Okay, so it's both. It's contraception and an abortion pill. It can terminate a pregnancy. All right, fine. Learn new shit every day.
Okay, let me go.
I'll let it slide.
William Smith.
Bill Smith says,
Billy, hi.
A plan B stops the ova, the egg,
from adhering to the uterine wall.
That's where we all grow up, guys,
inside the uterine.
Uterus. Okay. What was the other thing we're gonna look at before i take
obby to tennis it was the josh bridges that put that podcast oh we already oh so so that guy
brian shaw's a no plan b guy let me see brian shaw no he just like referenced it i wish i had it
i only like i said only listed a couple minutes You fucking knuckleheads will never succeed at a podcast, Mr. Shaw.
You know why?
It's too hard.
It's too hard.
Just lift heavy shit up.
You know what else is weird, too?
And this has happened because of this show, is if the podcast that I'm listening to doesn't start out like comfortable right away i feel like
uncomfortable listening to it you know i was like they're trying to like i'm watching it right now
and you could tell like josh is trying to get get comfortable and like brian's kind of doing this
like lead in with it and stuff but it feels very like awkward yeah you have to wait like 15 minutes
till they yeah and then i can't i feel like that every time i watch rogan too it's like a 15 minute entry period i'm like dude it's like second yeah
secondhand embarrassment or secondhand like awkward feeling thanks for having me on here
i'm like so stoked to be on here i'm reading like the chat it up okay tonight we have jacob
rodriguez on at six o'clock he is the um – Nicky Rodriguez's brother. He went undefeated in his West Coast ADCC qualifications.
Basically, he's going to compete on September 16th to be the greatest jiu-jitsu fighter of all time in his weight class, but probably in the overall too.
And he's Nicky Rodriguez's little brother.
And what he did to get to the Abu Dhabi Combat Club club championships is fucking nuts he went seven for seven and tap outs um and i think he's
only been doing jiu-jitsu for like maybe two years one year and then uh after that show uh we will
take a small break 15 minute break and we will come back later on in the evening with uh brian b friendly
e-friendly brian friend and uh we'll be doing um he'll be doing i'll just be hanging out he'll be
doing a review of whatever the fuck crossfitters are doing in madrid right now so that's what we
got for tonight all right guys uh suza thanks for coming on uh the guest that stiffed us. I don't hate you, but made the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
Thank you.