The Sevan Podcast - #774 - C*ckuterie Boards | Serving Up Hard Salami
Episode Date: January 24, 2023Support the showPartners:https://cahormones.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATIONhttps://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK!https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS... Learn... more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Discussion (0)
Wait, do you wear glasses?
Uh, not normally. I'm just having some, I think I got some sand in my eye, so I kept wearing them.
Aha! A clue! Bam, we're live. Some sand in your eye.
You're at the beach. You've been deployed in Miami the entire time.
Yep. It's been a pretty dope, pretty dope spot to deploy.
We figured you out.
The way you just poured whatever you just poured, it looked like you, like, had just done a little grinder grinder with some weed you were just pouring it there's plenty of that around too uh we had a guy
named mikhail mickle mickle who is the uh founder of the most popular uh game in the country of
denmark uh clask i own both versions of which is actually a quite a fun game. My power went out a few days ago and the whole family played class get New
Year's Eve.
And then we had that guy on who wrote,
who writes a book.
Oh,
he's gone.
Then we had that guy on,
or before that we had a guy on who wrote a book like every week.
Do you remember that guy?
He wrote like my big black Hawk.
Yeah.
And,
and that was pretty cool.
And, uh, black hawk yeah and and that was pretty cool and uh i think we've had on some other uh i'm trying to remember who else we've had on but i kind i like this entrepreneurial prunerial it's pr
entrepreneurial prunerial prunerial someone spelled entrepreneur entrepreneurial class
of guests and in a way patrick bet david was his own entrepreneurial entrepreneurial
per or pro is it pr or p god i think it's pre i've been saying god damn it a lot i think i need to go back into uh entrepreneur it's pr entrepreneurial
it's entrepreneurial class of guests thank you entrepreneur prener like roe the the guy who
invented the boards the author now we have now we have roe dunkelman crazy how's it going what's up did i did i jump in a bit early here
no no never okay no no my my door's always open you just walk in if you catch me naked if you
catch me naked it is what it is i'll run in to my bedroom just zoom in yeah yeah just just hold
just hold your breath it's uh it's rowey by the way rowey yeah oh yeah it's like
joey with an r duh i've never met a rowey it's uh yeah yeah i guess first of its kind for you
but yeah it's israeli have you ever met a rowey besides yourself yes have you been to israel
yes that's my dad's from there and so is that pretty common name there, Roey?
I don't think it's like a Josh, but it could be like a – I don't know.
I'll try to think of something that's comparable.
My name's Sevan, and it's a lake in Armenia.
And when I went to Armenia, the people there looked at me like me like hey no one names their kid after the late
like what did you like what did your parents do yeah yeah yeah i know i know the uh the
names are tough but but we're here um just just to appease my ego how many people have ever gotten
it right and say rowey instead of row upon first glance most people go with row uh if you're taking
it back to like non-israelis by the way that's cheating i mean just like regular ding dongs like
me yeah yeah so most people do go with row me personally i i see it if we're throwing it back
to like elementary school conventions of like two e's next to each other oh i'm getting school here i would
say i would hope that you know you could you could uh infer how to pronounce it but um
there's no no no worries there that's okay we're learning lessons today caleb did he just say if
you paid attention in the second grade you would never fuck my name up I think that's what I heard too. We're off to a wrong foot.
Didn't you read the pamphlet?
How to get on a podcast.
Always placate the host ego.
Damn it.
Is that a,
no,
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I must've skipped that chap.
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Yes, Yes, You weren't paying attention during podcast class
rowey yeah well i would have been on the cusp where i just would have missed the podcast class
but i would be surprised if that's uh soon to be an elected yeah right uh especially in canada
sorry couldn't actually yeah um where are you in Canada? You're in Ontario?
Yeah, Toronto.
Toronto.
You know, I'm 50, Roey, and I still sometimes get nervous that my mom's listening.
And this podcast that I've been doing for two years now is kind of an exploration of just accidental shit that falls out of my mouth.
And like,
um,
and I get a little like,
I'm like,
Oh man,
how did people become comedians at 25 knowing that like,
don't they feel that pressure from their parents to still like,
so you invent this board.
That's the,
um,
cock-a-doodle-dee board.
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself,
but I really want to know how the first
time you said that your parents aren't like professional comedians or anything right i'm
guessing you're jewish they're like you have a a psychologist and you have two you have a
psychologist and a lawyer they're both academics am i close uh uh both academics not psychologist
and lawyer my mom's a social worker at a at a hospital i'm giving myself a point for that
psychologist social worker i'm giving myself a point no that that those are the same camps thank you um and
my dad is a uh he's a graphic designer but uh he's been teaching at the um it's called the
ontario college of art and design for like uh the last like 35 plus years he recently retired last
year but he's a he's a like a private designer and
then also has taught graphic design for like the bulk of his career and so um wow he's probably
seen some there's been crazy changes in that field crazy yeah in terms of tools right yeah
for sure for sure i mean like you know just the whole transition from like uh and like just
everything analog to like now everything's Adobe Suite.
So that kind of idea.
Yeah, just straight Adobe. Crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just printing cash over there.
Sign up for your subscription.
Pretty much, yeah.
And how do you break the board to them?
Is it easy?
How old are you?
I will be 27 in April.
And I started this when I was 25.
Okay.
So you have this idea.
We'll get to the idea if you don't mind.
Eventually, we'll backtrack.
But I'm just curious, like for my own personal, since I'm 50 and I still haven't mastered the art of being myself around my parents.
It's like coming out and being gay but it's hard
i think it's even harder to release the cock-a-doodle-dee board uh i'm gay are you really
no i just want to see how you react because i got this other crazy idea of this cutting board
shaped like a cock and balls uh yeah so i kept this a secret for a very long time. Oh, good. Yeah, as long as possible. I was tinkering in the basement with the prototype.
Initially, I asked my dad one time to pick me up just some foam core,
like a foam board from the dollar store on the way home.
And mind you, I was like 25 when I asked him for this.
So he had every reason to ask me why what i could possibly need it
for but god bless him he just answered the call didn't ask any questions he goes here's your
stuff like enjoy your arts and crafts and uh didn't follow up and i take it to the basement i
i took like different pots and pans like smaller ones big ones to like experiment with the
circumference for like what testicles would be i just try to
draw the circle for the balls for the nuts yeah so i so that's how i started um and then i started
sketching it out uh you know relatively familiar with the shape and uh had different sizes and then
they were just like jack like they were just like pieces of jaggedy cut out foam board in the shape
of dicks and i'm like is should the shaft be
skinnier fatter should it be longer like how does everything work once i find the narrowed down you
know mind you like it wasn't a huge process like i had like maybe six cutouts with a few inches
shaved here and there and i found i'm like yeah like i feel like if this was a board this would
look good and then i started reaching out to local manufacturers and I probably hit up
about like seven.
And your parents still don't know you have this,
uh,
experimental,
uh,
cock-a-doodle-dee going on in the basement.
Is that normal to have basements in,
um,
in,
uh,
where Toronto?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
We don't have them.
I'm in California.
We don't have those.
Yeah.
Not,
not nice.
It's just,
it's just a bungalow style.
I guess it's just cheap, shitty homes that are expensive.
Where in California?
Santa Cruz.
Okay, very cool.
I went to California for my first time in 2019, and I loved it.
Oh, those boards would be so popular here.
Yeah.
Actually, the U.S. is my – we'll get into this i'm sure but the u.s is
my biggest biggest market far and away and california is a very loyal are very loyal customers
there i think i probably ship the most out there yeah uh the liberal people love uh cock and balls
uh and vaginas they like to parade them around put them on elementary schools and all sorts of shit so cockootery is no uh no stretch so when you're doing those shapes i know we're going to get to
the parent thing but i i guess it also has to be practical right like you're like okay this might
not be to ratio the thickness or the circumference of the penis but it also has to hold it has to be functional to like bring out the cheese and crackers yeah yeah i mean like you know uh it would be like in terms
of like thickness and like durability like in the ballpark of what your typical cutting board would
be so i think cutting boards usually run like an inch thick maybe inch and a half these are
three quarters of an inch so uh they're more like plat they more resemble like a platter okay
uh so anyways um i started reaching out to manufacturers uh i didn't hear from most of
them the ones that i did hear back from were like not interested um and uh so like initially i uh
that was like my first series of no's.
I thought like maybe someone would give me a look,
but eventually I started just like trying to leverage the little network I had
in the woodworking community. And it was someone that referred me, you know,
a few rungs through the grapevine.
And I ended up finding a manufacturer in a town called Kingston, Ontario,
which is about like
two and a half three hours oh is it east i think east of toronto rowey can i i don't want to forget
this question uh sorry i'm going to interrupt a lot it's what i do yeah go ahead when you get
the nose is it because because have they seen the shape of the board?
Is there any – are the nose – oh, it is because of that.
It's not, hey, we don't do charcuterie boards?
Good question.
I think like – okay, I'll say this.
In the introductory email, like I didn't shy away from anything.
I'm like, hey, this is my idea.
Here's the sketch.
Here are the dimensions I'm thinking.
Just to like package it up in one shot uh and like again i didn't hear from a lot of them a bunch of them were probably were like no we don't do this type of stuff um and then sometimes
like there was someone who was like i don't feel comfortable doing this and then i tried to like
level with them i'm like this is just a you, this is just this shape. It's kind of irrelevant. Like I'm trying to develop a business and then, and then, and then
like, you know, I said for like, that was my one, like time I did, I did some like pushback,
but I also told myself in the beginning, like, I think this is a funny idea. I know it's going
to be polarizing. There's going to be people that get it. I think it's people who hate penis out
there. And there's people who's going to be like, like this is dumb i'm not engaging in this and like i'm not trying to make a believer out of anyone like right
it's it's like it's polarizing either love it or you hate it and for those that hate it that's fine
uh so i'm not trying to like make a believer to convince anyone this is funny so anyhow um i get
referred to this guy in kingston so it's like a town you know two hours away from toronto and uh and um he he was like yeah we could do it and like uh yeah so yeah there you go oh nice lake
people still lake people yeah exactly um and uh yeah he's like yeah we could do it like gave me
like yeah this would roughly be like i'd have to you know do some prototype oh sorry i got one
crucial step um when i was reaching to that know do some prototypes oh sorry i guess one crucial step
um when i was reaching to that initial batch of 75 that were like more local uh some guy like
thought it was hilarious loved it and was like i can't make it for you but i can at least give you
like a prototype and i can improve the design because the initial design was just like a very
like cartoony one and he's like do you mind if i like make it more anatomically
correct i'm like yeah for sure go for it so uh and then he made me two prototypes out of a material
called mdf don't know what it stands for but it's kind of like compressed like paper uh and it's
very cheap and like pretty much resembles like what the sturdiness would be of like you know
you're given species of wood um so that, then I had the physical,
like I actually held it like proper dimensions and that's when I could like
really visualize if this thing had legs.
So I took those files. He gave me a file. It was like a universal file.
So that's what I was sending it out to all these manufacturers.
So anyways, this Kingston guy's like, yeah, I can do it.
I can either like make them completely done, ready to sell, like sanded, you know, treated
with food safe oil, all that stuff.
Or I can give it to you like rough and then like you can absorb some of the labor.
Obviously, I was like just getting this off the ground.
I had the time.
So I'm like, you know what?
I want to keep my costs low.
I'll do as much labor as reasonable, which is like some light sanding cleaning up the edges uh and oiling these things um so i started there i started with like 50 boards
um and then i i got them i sanded them i oiled them i i engraved them i bought like a hobby
kind of level tabletop engraver um so i could put my logo on it and then offer custom
engravings which like i have on the site now i have two but initially it was just the one
and then i my dad made two like two locations in the center like up on the scrotum
no i could do any location i meant two physical engravers because just like one
one was a huge bottleneck once like i kind of started
moving these things but anyway so my dad obviously has a very good network in the like design space
so he had a photographer buddy who came by and snapped some like unbelievable photos to get some
like assets for the site and for social uh so i spot up the site like i did like nine i'd say like
95 of it i'm on shopify like I just like you know just slaved
over this stuff for like months and months and months and then for some of the technical stuff
I just like hired some people at Fiverr um but like most of it was myself and then uh did like
a pre-launch on social media and I was like really really uh fortunate to have like a pretty good
release uh sorry like launch it's pretty successful like got a good following
got like my my first ever post was a giveaway post and i got i think it got like a thousand
comments or something wow yeah it was it was very successful so when did you when did you come out
of the uh when did you come out of the basement when did you tell your parents yeah yeah so so
uh i had so it was after the prototypes like the mdf boards like
i had like the physical board and i think it was just time where like i was tinkering for long
enough where i'm like i gotta make some like significant moves and uh uh well your parents
like were you just living at home and your parents like hey you need to get a job what are you doing
and you're just like i had a job at the time. So I don't know how much detail you require, but I'll make this short.
So there's a company that I was working for at the time called Clear Bank.
They're now Clear Co.
So we have a Canadian version of Shark Tank called Dragon's Den.
And one of the dragons was this co-founder of the company I worked for.
And the premise is non-dilutive capital specifically
for d2c brands um so kind of like subconsciously is uh direct to consumer okay yeah so it kind of
like subconsciously paved the way for me to and that's when i got this idea you know i was speaking
to these d2c founders day in day out and like listening to their struggles and all this and I'm just like I could probably do this um and like when I got the idea I actually like was like a
this is dumb b it probably already exists and it did already exist um uh but I just saw like their
social media and kind of where they were lacking and I'm like if this was my company that I would
think I could do a significantly
better job so i'm like you know what let's roll the dice on 50 so anyways i was i did have a job
uh um and uh when i got the idea so this was like a side thing and then your parents weren't
tripping like you were just sitting in the basement smoking weed like fiddling with wood
then you had already i wasn't there yet i wasn't even there yet um because i just had like the two prototypes and i was just like okay the time is now i have
the prototypes i have my manufacturer he's ready to go he's waiting on me um and uh like i just
couldn't if i wanted to actually take the plunge then it would have to be known right i'd be you
know having like 50 boards in the basement i'd be sanding these like it it had to be known right i'd be you know having like 50 boards in the basement i'd
be sanding these like it it had to be known so i couldn't go on much further so i just had to
sit them down after dinner and i think my opening line was so i have to tell you something i don't
think you're gonna like it and then just like let that sink in and then i just like pulled out the
prototype from like behind the wall how much better was it that you set it up like that?
Cause they're like, he has AIDS or like he got a girl pregnant and instead it's just
a dick board.
Yeah.
I think that was like somewhat strategic.
Like let them let their minds go to the worst possible place.
And like, Oh, he's going to be an entrepreneur.
Yeah.
There's worse things that could happen.
So I thought,
so like my dad's like Israeli dude,
conservative,
like whatever.
And I thought he was,
I approve.
I approve.
Yeah.
I thought it was going to be the most resistant.
And my mom like,
is like,
we have this type of relationship where,
uh,
even if she like disapproved,
like I was way more concerned about what my dad thought.
Um,
so your mom would support you.
You're a boy.
Yeah. Even if whatever. Exactly. So, uh, it was very much like that. certain about what my dad thought um so your mom would support you you're a boy yeah even if
whatever exactly so uh it was very much like that um and they're surprisingly like
the the any sort of resistance or reservation like quickly what quickly went away um they're
like you know what i actually see it i get it and I don't think it's the worst idea you've ever had. And sure, go for it. So that was a huge relief because that was obviously a big moment that I was mostly, you know, I was blowing up in my head, thought it was going to be like this whole fight and this whole eruption and all this pushback. But no, uh, they were super supportive and still are very supportive and then um my dad this was two years ago right rowey yeah so so i released like my website went
live september 15th of 2021 and then i i would say like roughly like nine months prior to that
is when like i got the idea i started prototyping so like i it was i was working on it for quite a
bit uh just making
sure like all systems were a go for the release and the launch and all that um yeah so hey do you
remember do you remember the first time i want to show you something real quick i don't even know
if any of my listeners know this i i was uh i was growing a i didn't even smoke weed at the time
but i was i i my friend was vaping uh like not like vaping like the way kids do it today but
like that used to be vaping weed yeah yeah and he had this big pile of weed at his house
and i went over there and i'm like hey dude why is there just a big pile of weed sitting
down he's all i've already smoked it i'm like've already smoked it. I'm like, you already smoked it. And he's like, yeah, I vaped it. And so I'm digging through and I found a seed.
Okay. And he's like, Hey, you can't grow that. I'm like, okay, fine. Then can I have it? He's
like, yeah. So I grew it in a closet and I, and I, and I took it at the time. I didn't plan on
doing anything, but step-by-step I took pictures every single day and wrote down everything I did.
And then I glued all the pictures to pieces of cardboard and i made this book out of cardboard and like those those big
steel metal rings okay and uh and i called it this and then finally one day i was reading in
the newspaper that the largest uh um publisher of marijuana books in the world was in my neighborhood
in oakland california so i just took them over this cardboard book and i'm like hey do you want publisher of marijuana books in the world was in my neighborhood in Oakland, California.
So I just took them over this cardboard book and I'm like, Hey, do you want to? And they picked it up. And now I have this book marijuana buds for this. I mean, I, this is like 15 or two. I don't
know how long ago I made this. I hadn't thought about this in years. And so just now talking to
you, but when I told my parents about this, I was like, Holy shit. Yeah. And then I wrote a follow
up book. Let's grow a pound. But it brings me to my next question.
I remember, and I didn't even use my real name.
Look at the name I use.
Seymour Buds.
Nice.
Yeah.
Just a fake author name.
Yeah.
Get your copy now, people.
Anyway, did you know that about me, Caleb?
Yeah, I think, yeah.
I didn't know that. it has been a few years
since you told that story though so oh it has okay good all right thank you uh so uh yes i am
jeffrey birchfield uh he's a beacon of diversity and inclusion with numerous types of guests he
has on yeah from the kkk to a nice jewish boy making kakud It's a, we're all one on planet Earth.
It's hard to remember that.
Do you remember the first time you heard your parents tell, like,
they're on the phone with your aunt, and they're like, yeah,
we're so excited. A rowie
started a business. Because I remember when my parents
just overheard them be like, yeah, Seban has
a book. I'm like, holy shit,
they really do love it. You know what I mean?
You know what? They you know what they they are
they were and still are very quick to gloat oh good about your cocklootery boards yes god i love
parents yeah yeah they're very supportive very proud like you know i've done a handful of like
those mark like pop-up markets and whatever they're riding it with me like you know it's
they're like three-day events morning till night and we're lugging stuff and they're in it with,
they're in the trenches with me. So, you know, like your dad's there setting up like your,
your canopy with you and your mom's bringing you a coffee. Oh God, I love it. Yeah. All of it. Yeah.
Yeah. No, they're, they're, you know what? Like once, uh, once you can come to terms with the
shape and this is something that like, I think people also at first glance,
like they probably discount it. And this is my favorite part, right?
Like people probably don't give it the credit that I think it could,
it should deserve. Cause like, you know, I've grown it pretty substantially.
And which is fine.
So my favorite part that people think it's kind of like a, you know,
like a here and there kind of thing, but like, this is my full-time job.
Um, and like, I've experienced some pretty good growth in like the 16 months that I've been doing
it. And, um, and it still has like, despite the shape, it has all the growing pains of a regular
business, um, which people probably don't give it credit for,
because they think it's like, you know, it's like a gimmick, it's a gag thing. How, you know,
how many of these could you really be moving? But, you know, like, I tell you, like, it's really
tough as a, you know, it's my first time doing this, I'm completely by myself. So it's really
tough, like when you have these, like, significant business decisions, and there's all this reinvesting in this budget cashflow and you have to like, you have to reinvest it properly and wisely. And like, I,
you know, it's, it has, it's, it's a, it's a business. It has its pains, pain points and,
and growing pains and just like any other business. So which people probably don't
any other business. So which people probably don't recognize immediately. Uh, so that's kind of, I always find interesting, but, um, back to like what you were saying. Yeah. Parents,
huge support, quick to gloat, uh, all the time. Um, like when they have friends over, they want
to like entertain on one. Um, they're always looking for opportunities to use it. So yeah,
they, uh, they're my, they're my biggest cheerleaders. it so yeah they uh they're my they're my
biggest cheerleaders i love it i love it hey it could be worse you could marry an armenian girl
could be worse yeah you could marry one of the kardashians i'm i'm armenian and my my wife is
jewish and there's you know your parents go through they go through these phases where they're like we
want you to marry an armenian we want you to marry a jew and then you reach a certain age and they're
like they don't give a fuck they just want you to get married
yeah just get married just and then it's like have kids please have kids right uh um a titty
or vag board next there is a booby board there is yeah new release um so i i get a lot of flack
for this because people are like it should have been sharp to t like it's right there writing
it's on the wall i get it i personally find like despite the kind of field i find myself in the
world i find myself in i find titty titty a little crass i agree i agree you know like i agree boobies more playful yes a little more inclusive more fun so uh that's what i've
decided on uh the biggest request far and away is a charcuterie board oh um and you know that
comes with its complications just given kind of the intricacies of the region. Yeah. But look, it's certainly on deck.
I mean...
It's got a sharpay.
The vagina is kind of like a sharpay.
It's not conducive to the medium of wood.
Well, you're just going to...
Yes.
Yeah, because cock is silhouette,
but the vagina is all about the detail.
Oh, well said.
Silhouette.
Yeah.
I like that.
But it's doable.
I mean, you could be staring straight out of a vagina and not know what it is.
That's usually the position I find myself in.
Yeah, exactly.
Me too.
What happened to you down there?
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's funny because I was thinking also of like, you probably, you can't remember the last time you've gone a day without saying the word cock.
Yeah, it's pretty all-consuming.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all day every day.
It's like full commitment, full priority, all that.
What about the – is it all – tell me like we were talking about all the problems like a business
has so let me just take a stab at something have you changed how did you decide what kind is there
a standard uh wood people use for um like i guess kitchen grade wood that's and and have you had
problems with supply chain and like tell me some of the things that are just like holy shit i would
have never or you have to buy like 12 000 trees to get started you're like dude all i want is 100 boards
what are some of the issues you know it's uh it's pretty it was so this is the thing i'm always kind
of like subconsciously preparing myself for shit to hit the fan because like it's been a relatively
smooth sailing attempt at this like yeah i yeah, I've had my moments.
Don't get me wrong.
But, like, it's not like my basement flooded and all my inventory is just shit.
Like, I haven't had anything, like, truly crippling.
Like, all your boards got caught off the coast of Oakland during the pandemic.
Yeah, like all that shit.
Like, I know there was a time where I think it was, like, just when I was i was getting started like there was all this talk about like uh like wood prices are like you know
that's what they used to be so like that was kind of like a like obviously i decided to start this
like right at like the time where wood is the most expensive it's ever been like that was like
but again it's not a deterrent it was just like a true and you just move on. But, um, um, yeah.
What prices ever come down? Did they ever come down? They didn't, right?
No, uh, no.
Cause like four by eight pieces of like plywood around here went from like
$20 to like a hundred dollars. It was crazy.
Yeah. I think, um,
I think I was at the moment when i started producing i was like already in the uh it was already when wood was on the upswing so i
didn't have like a stark before and after right um so i can't really speak much to that um but
like it when you ask like what the what are the growing pains of like the business that i'm experiencing it's experiencing, it's truthfully just like knowing what to do with the money, knowing what my next move is.
I mean, so the first year, the first 12 months of sales was completely organic.
So it was like all through TikTok.
And truth be told, like TikTok and the ability to make content was I think, the number one motivator for me is because
that's my favorite part of the business, the content. And immediately when this thought
came to mind, I'm like, think about all the funny content I could put out. TikTok is still very much
a juggernaut, but this was right when TikTok was kind of surging., the rise of TikTok, I, I credit a lot to the reason why I actually
took the plunge in the first place.
Um, so like, and social media is still like my biggest, uh, my biggest like mobilizer
of sales for sure.
Um, and I mean, it's how I found you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean like social media, it's also like, it's also like,
you know, a viral video is, it's great for so many reasons.
Like the sales follow, which is great,
but I get like inundated with so much support and feedback that people are
always in my DMS, like love this hilarious, blah, blah, blah.
And then I also get like a lot of good business contacts.
Like I was in a local blog in, in toronto like last not this christmas
christmas before and it's like sold out my stock and then one of the one of the my now suppliers
got in touch with me like hey saw what you're doing i think i could help uh blah blah blah
and he ended up being my supplier for like the following year plus like till now and you know
moving forward so
i've made like some pretty good business contacts just through this year exposure on social media
blogs you know online all that all that kind of stuff and uh people overseas are getting in touch
with me like you have to bring this to europe like i can help you warehouse them and store them
and ship them and distribute them.
Oh, that – are you selling in Europe?
I know.
Like European market would be all over this.
I mean like I –
Yeah, they love cock over there.
I have to – yeah.
Very cock forward people.
Yes.
Yeah.
But it's not there yet?
So I mean like I'll say that I offer international shipping.
So if someone in Europe gets a hold of this and wants one, I give them the means to receive it.
But I haven't like made the European market like a priority to like try and go after like deliberately.
And all this – have you learned a lot about wood like i know guys who get into
golfing like all of a sudden know a shit ton about grass yeah yeah yeah uh i did work on a golf course
so i can't speak to the grass uh-huh uh because that's like that's like savant level stuff but uh
i understand uh a little bit like it's i'm very involved in the manufacturing the production of
it like i'm sanding these things i'm oil oiling them. I can have a reasonable conversation, but I'm no expert. I'm not a woodworker.
What is the that you'll notice like there's streaks
like in the board and some of them you know are are more textured than others that's because
there's like a bug called the ambrosia beetle that burrows through the wood and the path that
it creates is the is the streaks that you see oh that's um yeah so that's why it's like all funky different shapes
different tones different textures yeah there you go um and people love it people like like it's so
so pretty um especially like when you hit it with the oil uh it just makes everything pop and uh
yeah like people really like it and and like i have this little disclaimer on site. That's like, you know, uh, no one cock is alike. And, you know, that's kind of like the whole leveraging point. But, uh, like, no, like, you know, I, I can, I could see, I could foresee a scenario, which I was worried that like people would see one board on site, get their board and be like, this looks nothing like it. But, uh, cause they're all different. But now people like, I've haven't had like one, one complaint about like like this isn't what it looks like on site kind of thing so that's unfortunate yeah they're cool
they're cool they look nice um yeah they're they're beautiful honestly like i'm and like
because it's all tested the wood what is fucking gorgeous like it's just so so nice and again this
was like that first manufacturer in kingston i pitched him. It was more of like that call.
Yeah, like, yeah, it's stunning.
But like that call, the initial call was as much a consultant, like a consultation as
it was like a pre-PO call in the sense where like, I'm like, hey man, like I got referred
to you by whatever.
This is my idea.
Like, what do you think? And he started like participating in,
in helping me bring this to life, which like, it was great.
And he's like, well, I think this would, because economical, it's,
you know, it's food safe.
And it's pretty.
And like this, that, the other.
And so once he said wormy maple and he gave me the prices, I was like,
okay, sick.
I had to, I saw no reason to like source someone else out, find a different species,
compare, contrast.
Cause like, I'm also someone where like, if I, if I have too many options or I like
dig too deep, I just get like paralysis.
Like as soon as I see, like I see an option and it's viable, I'm just going like, even
with the booby board like
my dad was like wanted to really really refine the shape i'm like you know what if i refine like
i'll just i know i just won't get this thing going and like look it's you know again it's
wait till you go buy a house do you own a house i do not yeah don't let don't go house shopping
yeah because every house was like the perfect house and And my wife's like, uh, you shut up. I'm like, what? This is the one. Yeah. Well, I hear, I hear that. I hear that
never, like you never get your first house and it's like the blessing in disguise kind
of idea. Yeah. But, uh, no, like my sister went through that, like during the pandemic
and you know, didn't get their first, Oh no, they did get their first house. Actually.
One of the, what did your dad want to do different to the boobs?
He wanted to do a perspective one shot.
So instead of staring at it straight on, it's a little bit like this, maybe, and have more of a silhouette.
Yeah.
have like more of a silhouette yeah but uh again it's it's again similar to the to the vagina it's not a silhouette like what is not maybe the best medium to resemble what it is right so so i'm
getting i look i'm constantly refining um i just wanted to get something on site because i was
getting a lot of comments and feedback being like hey like, the lesbians of TikTok want to play too.
And I was like, that was an awakening moment.
I was like, you know what?
They're onto something.
I was thinking that the boards would of women are that the gay community doesn't have
is like guys left unattended will just run wild with just like with sex shit like you need girls
who are like hey go invent a light bulb and dig a hole in the backyard and then come back and we'll
discuss what you can do with my vagina but dudes you leave them alone too long and they'll be start
like wanting a cutting board in the shape of a uh of a penis
pretty much um so yeah i mean it's it's definitely like a a big market of ours um and uh you know
even sometimes like so when i offer these engravings it's it's a little bush league right
now but it's it's been fine what i do is i just like i overlay a grid on on the board and i just do
coordinates i do you know a through whatever vertically and then one through like 24
horizontally um and people will just be like yeah like g7 to 19 and i know that they want to like
dead center along the shot um so like you know most people can can make can make sense of this
and give and give me pretty accurate coordinates.
I think that's cool as shit.
That's not Bush League.
That's awesome.
I don't know.
So what I would like to do, which I'm starting to look into now, is you know how if you're on something like Canva, where you can live design, and then you can see your – like if you're designing a t-shirt, whereas like you punch in like Savant's cock and then you can like orient it wherever you want and you show it
shows up on the board and then you just like, say like submit.
So, I mean, I've done, I don't know, maybe a thousand engravings by now.
And I'm pretty anal with like making sure it's perfectly straight and all this stuff.
So like, that's, I think another reason why people have yet to complain because i like make sure it's good uh or like as it's as
close to where they want as possible but like if they're sometimes they put something that makes
like no sense uh and so i have to like clarify and then occasionally be like i'll i'll call them
or i'll text them and be like yeah this is for it for, it's like, you know, it's clearly a male.
And it's like, yeah, this is for my husband or this is for my boyfriend or this, that, the other.
So like there's certainly like, you know, the gay market is big for us.
And also the first show I did, I was mentioning the shows.
The first one I did was the pride parade in Toronto.
Uh, and that, and that was just, uh, that was a, a real, uh, that was a good showing. It was good.
It was, people were blown away. They loved it. Um, and, uh, yeah, it was, it was great.
It was really good. I just remembered someone, another entrepreneur we had on,
we had the slack block guy on. Do you remember that Caleb?
Yeah.
Do you know what the slack block is?
It's like a,
it's a piece of foam with a piece of wood on it and you stand on it with,
and you balance on it. And it's just, it's just to, it's to work on balance.
Basically this guy's theory is,
is that you can't swing a bat or punch someone or do any activity harder than your balance will allow you.
And so it's basically like a portable slack line, but instead it's this foam block.
Oh, cool.
So it teeters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And actually, I actually use it at least every other day, and I can't believe how different my balance has gotten. It's pretty cool.
Really?
But he had this – I got this impression from him that he had this paranoia that he didn't want to share his idea, and I don't get that from you.
I would hear that a lot from maybe a lot of inventors. So you sent your idea to 50 or 75 people and got it rejected, but you didn't seem to be afraid someone would steal the idea from you?
So I think it's twofold.
One is like it's one of those – it's so absurd that it probably limits the amount of – it limits the chance that people are like as as I think it's as inspiring as like anything else.
Like I, it's such an absurd day. Like even if someone was like, eh, they're probably like,
yeah, no, it's a dumb idea. It's like one of those. So I think that I had going for me,
but I also was like, uh, I, I spoke to my dad designed the packaging for the, I don't know.
I think this, have you heard of the Salka brush? No anyways it's like it's like uh it's my dad's friend client he designed like the packaging for
it essentially it's like it's like the new age of flossing it's like uh it's like a it's like
kind of the size of like a highlighter and it has like uh i don't know what the material is
i think like a nylon tip and it's like to
massage your gums and you use it i love flossing i i so i floss i don't use it uh but it's like
yeah it's kind of like a lazy person's floss i don't know if that's actually how you would prefer
me to refer to it as but okay i see it i see a salk brush okay yeah so he so my dad was on the packaging with
him when i was getting when i was getting off the ground i was like let me tap my my very limited
network and i mean mind you he's like been a very successful entrepreneur his plant is like two
seconds from my house so i went to speak to him and whatever whatever and he's like he's been
knocked off every which way uh yeah you know as you can see the product like it's it's very it's
easy to replicate and he's like the biggest thing you can protect like the product, it's easy to replicate. And he's like, the biggest thing you can protect,
the biggest thing that's worth protecting
is not necessarily the product, but the brand.
So that really resonated.
And that I thought was my biggest weapon in my arsenal
because I like to think that I'm pretty good
at the social media aspect and the TikToks
and the creativity surrounding that element.
That if someone were to create just another board, which mind you, they do exist.
You'd think there'd be a relatively low competition item, which it is.
But there are others out there.
And I'm not necessarily threatened because I like to think that I have a really good grip on like the social media element, which is what's going to allow me to outpace my competitor. The name's great too.
So I actually, so I appreciate that. I don't, I like it. I don't love it. I'm more of like a,
I'm more of like a less on the nose type. Like,
I like like the head tilt moment that, you know, makes you think about it.
Like I went to school for copywriting. So I, I like,
I like kind of letting the, like letting the, giving an opportunity for the reader, the person to like,
walk themselves there instead of just giving them on a platter.
But aside from that,
like it is a good name for just getting a point across immediately,
which I think there's just so much value in that alone.
So it's a pretty crass word that you've really tamed.
Yeah.
I put,
you put a leash on it and like,
yeah,
I mean,
you gave it a bath and cleaned it up and put it, you know, I mean, cock is a pretty harsh word.
You put uteri on it.
And it's like, I couldn't even say it at first.
Caleb had to teach me.
Like, a few shows ago when I started talking about you on the show, I'm like, dude, it's cock uteri.
And I had to like practice it a lot.
A lot of people can't.
A lot of people can't.
So there's,
there's the negative side of that.
Um,
but once you get it, there's such pleasure.
It's,
it's almost kind of like mining a lot immediately.
They may not recognize it,
but once you get it,
once you realize that you do know how to read and the second grade was
valuable.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Don't sleep on the second grade.
Um,
but yeah,
like, uh, the name is i'm
actually i'm actually in the process of registering the trademark for it um i was recently uh advised
to do so uh i got on the phone with the u.s like patent attorney and we kind of went through the
motions and what this what kind of protection it offers and why it would be valuable um and so that process
is underway and that's exciting i want to say congratulations but also i'm sorry because i know
and on another hand it's just money just to participate in the adult world yeah yeah for
sure although like uh i it's it's more of like a peace of mind thing than anything
yeah because like to your point like the name's great i'm like you know it's it's kind of like
public domain right now until someone kind of claims it so just kind of giving just
protecting myself hey should i trademark the sebon podcast i wonder if that's a popular name for uh
myself hey should i trademark the sebon podcast i wonder if that's a popular name for uh
might be worth the might be worth a look it's not a naughty cockery so good hey is this skateboard a real item so that was uh and this is like this is like just god bless tiktok i mean for so many
reasons but this was someone that commented like yo you should turn into a skateboard um and you know like the
structure of tiktok is such that like you can reply to a comment with another video
and the comment appears you can choose how long it remains on the video for and so uh i was like
this is a great idea um and i went to like my local skate shop and did the whole like strap my phone to my chest and did like the classic like POV engaging with people, show them the board, tell them what I was trying to do.
They loved it.
That video did relatively well.
And then, yeah, so I made it.
Of course, like the board as a charcuterie board is not meant to withstand like the weight of someone like riding like a skateboard.
As a charcuterie board, it's not meant to withstand the weight of someone riding it like a skateboard.
When I took it to a skate park and paid people to do kickflips with it, the first guy that tried it snapped it in half.
That was a lesson learned.
I was then referred to someone who makes custom skateboards.
He's very tied up, and I don't know if it's worth the pursuit like i'm already
spread super thin but it would be amazing like if i had the time i think it would for sure sell
especially in your neck of the woods oh yeah yeah i wonder if you just glued two boards together
glued to charcuterie board like two of my boards yeah i guess now we'd start getting expensive too
at that point that but also like but also like it's beyond that.
It's like I started doing a little research.
It's like how the wood is actually pressed together.
Like it's seven plies of like laminate and it's treated and it's all this stuff.
But you can't just kind of like put wheels on a piece of wood.
Although like obviously that was like the initial idea.
A dick flip flip that's great
so uh yeah people love the series and like this year is like i i hired a videographer he mic'd
me up with laugh mics like it was pretty pretty legit uh afternoon we got like five videos out
of it so oh that guy knows what he's doing yeah yeah he almost got it
did he say anything funny like hey the balls are getting in my way
he he did he did especially at the end uh he was he was a champ he was like and you know what it's
funny because like so this is a this is a park called christy pits right in the heart of downtown
toronto there's another skate park like 10 minutes away from there which is the initial one i went to um oh i didn't think
it was going to break like that interesting okay so and that's only when he tried to
shove it if he kept trying to kick flip it like i think like the the just the orientation of the
board he would have let like he would have just done did more of those but because he tried to shove it he just like landed right on the soft spot but um yeah i went
to another skate park and i was like hey i know this is kind of like a little out there but like
i made this board blah blah blah i was gonna see if like would you be open to kick flipping it and
like pay like 10 bucks and this is like before my videographer got there and he's like man like get
that gay shit out of here like you're in the wrong spot and then i just started getting like
surrounded by people and like i was like kind of like i was kind of like bullied out of there and
i was like oh wow like this is not what i expected but people yeah the kickboard got bullied out of
the uh they weren't uh they weren't about it uh so i was like all right let's go to
the next game i was planning on going to christy pits but i heard like that was a good park to go
to like skate parks are the vibe at skate parks are so different from park to park for sure yeah
sure like it's it it is very much like an inclusive like of all skill levels type thing but i think if
something's out there like that maybe there's definitely parks that are are more uh resistant to it so you know whatever lesson learned it worked out
sort of until the board wow yash the uh just 24 in case you were wondering oh you did the
conversion from me for uh from the is that the pound is that the uk's money it's a pound wow
you're a good dude, buddy.
Thank you.
Especially for all the times I made fun of you in the comments.
I won't make fun of you for a week.
What's the rev share split on this thing?
Oh, it's horrible.
Oh, between me and you?
Yeah.
Oh, it's horrible for you.
Horrible.
Oh, okay.
Horrible.
I'll have my lawyer send you a note.
It's horrible for you.
I guess that's fair yeah i'm
sorry it's just like always read the fine print yeah it's so bad for you hold on let me see hold
on let me look it up zero i'm gonna guess i fuck i yeah i think that's a zero. Rowe, so what about a girl...
Wow, wow.
Okay, easy, guys, easy.
I don't have time to collect money right now, unless you insist.
He should make a cuckootery board where it's the vagina,
but you can only send it as a gift to someone else.
Oh.
That's hilarious.
Do you have a girlfriend don't and um that's gonna be another uh hurdles too strong but um enjoyable moment when you meet her parents in which i've been made to
talk about that oh you did well i mean i yes. Like it was just like a trend.
Right.
Where it's just like a seven second delay until like you just say, oh, shit.
And the copy was like, when I realize I'm going to have to explain what I do for living to my future girlfriend's parents.
And it's like, oh, shit.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
It's just that that will be a difficult one.
yeah it's just that that will be a difficult one um but again once they hopefully or not hopefully hopefully uh get past what it is yeah they can see and hopefully appreciate the business
that it truly is and you know give me the uh give me the okay the accolades for the businessman
that you are wasn't there a movie like on netflix it was like a um 13 part series and they filmed
it like a documentary but it's not a documentary about some kids who like they were trying to
figure out who put dick graffiti on all the cars at a high school.
Oh, something Simi Valley.
Yeah, like Jimmy Tatro.
I can't remember.
I just remember it was pretty popular.
This was like five years ago, two years ago?
Yeah, I believe that's what it would have been.
There was this guy at my work.
I worked over at CrossFit Inc.
Right.
I don't know, fucking fucking a thousand years ago now but we we we didn't have hr for the longest time and we were a fucking big company international company
we were all over the world but we didn't have a human resources and then we got an hr department
they made us put those posters up like in the in the in the cafeteria like how to behave right right yeah and within like two days
someone's your dick pics all over it i'm real yeah yeah i was so proud of our team i was so
proud of our team yeah that's like a take that toby moment just like fuck off oh sorry not
american vandal that's what it was simi valley is still jimmy
tatro which i believe american vandal is as well so that's where i was probably confused but is
that um is that is that the guy's name he makes stuff that looks like a documentary but it's a
series is that kind of his style or i i don't think it's just it's not a style he was i think
he got his come up on youtube as just like a sketch guy okay yeah and then he had some like small parts and like uh he was in
22 jump street oh yeah i remember that that was the comedy right jimmy tacho yeah he's in grown
ups too he's a big sequel guy i think hey on on your website you also have uh like cup holders
right they're like in the shape of penises they're kind of like not yes coasters coasters coasters yeah so so like there's been a little bit of product expansion
uh product line expansion um which i i was like i have so many other ideas it's just like i'm
again spread so so thin i just thought of another entrepreneur we had on we had this guy on who's
fucking killing it too which these are bottle openers made of old 50 caliber
bullets i forgot that's cool yeah right where does he source the the shells from i don't know
he's a mill guy and he just got elected to congress i think too which is kind of crazy
and his packaging is cool too you would like it it comes in like a wooden box okay sorry uh so a product expansion um uh coasters yeah so
coasters uh there's trivets do you got you guys know what trivets are right well i know that like
no what i i should they're often made of cork and it's like when you take like a hot dish out of an
oven and you don't want to set it down on the table oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah those are cool
yeah yeah so the trivets and like you, my dad screwing in the little rubber feet.
Oh, I got a review.
I mean, what's the review on this thing?
It should be at the bottom.
Oh, Olivia, these are fantastic.
I got two sets.
One is going in my vagina, and one is going in my kitchen.
Wow.
One is going to be my white
elephant gift and you damn well know that i'm going to have the most popular gift the others
are going to be uh going to my besties because we love good uh charcuterie and appreciate a nice d
wow perfect wow it just goes to show you give you give the people a platform and they're right there with you.
It just makes me want to meet her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I do meet people at shows, they're always quick to bust my chops and hit me with –
Bust my balls.
Yeah, I should have said that.
Hit me with – when you're in it too much, you can't think of it anymore. But yes, break my balls, buzz my balls and like say jokes that I think they expect are ones that I've heard for the first time.
Yes, but you've heard them all.
But it's kind of all, I kind of like invented them all. And so I have to pretend like humble brag humble brag yeah
that's the pretend like it's the funniest thing I've ever heard and then I don't get a sale and
I'm like yeah get out of here yeah it's called the bottle breacher it's even got a fancy name
Kenneth just said it's called the bottle breacher by Eli Crane like because you know that's what
the mill guys do they breach doors and shit so. So this is, you breach the bottle.
So clever.
That is clever.
People are,
people are wicked smart.
I've like my algorithm on TikTok has been just like inundating me with Shark Tank.
Yeah.
I've been a huge fan of Shark Tank and Dragons then like Shark Tank way
more for sure.
Just bigger valuations,
better products.
But,
oh, I love that show.
Like, me and my parents used to, like, just religiously watch it.
But I had this conversation the other day because I have a buddy that works, like, in the creator economy.
And, like, we always bump heads because, like, I personally, I would identify more with being, being like a content creator than like an entrepreneur.
Um, it's kind of like the, the venture is almost like, I mean, not quite, but like,
it's almost like an extension, uh, or like subsequent to my endeavor as a content guy.
Yeah. So, um, right. Cause like the whole boards are kind of amused for a content guy. Yeah. So, um,
right.
Cause like the whole boards are kind of amused for your content now.
Essentially.
Yeah.
I mean,
look,
I haven't been,
I haven't been keeping up with content recently because like,
uh,
like Q4 is just insane.
And now I'm trying to,
um,
outsource both product,
uh,
manufacturing and fulfillment.
Cause like,
I'm still fulfilling these things out of my parents' basement.
Like every single board that goes out of here is like packaged up in the
basement. So like, if I'm trying to really scale this thing, which I am,
I just can't continue that way. So like my,
and like Q1 and Q2 are like the perfect time to rebuild.
So I've been less focused on content and like getting the next sale
and more just about like building a proper system so that's kind of where i find myself like in the
next few months i mean mind you like i'm still like i'll probably put out tiktok today and all
that stuff but uh you know like these kinds of things were like i i was i wasn't moving anywhere close to what I'm moving now. So I had the time to do it.
So once I kind of take all the heavy lifting and the labor and the fulfillment
off my plate, then I could,
I can hopefully get back to that point of just making like just way more
content and better content.
Caleb, can you play that again? I got an idea.
I wonder if you've already, if you've already done this one,
you're going to be like, be like yeah buddy i invented this someone this is your dad comes downstairs and he's like
son what have i told you stop blowing cock in the basement yeah he just wouldn't go for it
no he wouldn't oh so you did come up with that idea uh no but uh you know him i just know i just
know yeah yeah actually he's way more willing to be in front of the camera.
My mom is like – she pretty much refuses.
She's a great –
He seemed like a really good sport about it.
What's that?
He seemed like a really good sport.
He's a great sport.
He's also natural.
I hardly have to do multiple takes with that guy.
I wonder if his – is he – what did you say?
Is he still teaching graphic design?
No, no. He's in the biz.
He's he's yeah. He's, he's, he's, he's, uh, he's team cock right now.
Okay. Yeah. He's full retired.
Last thing you want to do is come down to the basement and your son's blowing a cock.
Hey, he did say that. Sorry, sorry to jump in there.
He did say students have mentioned some of his, uh, have mentioned seeing him on TikTok, which I'm sure was a terrible moment for him.
What about –
It was awesome.
Oh, are there different sizes?
One of those looked really small.
And those look more –
There are different sizes.
I don't know.
Someone wrote whore on their
board my goodness yeah and and the uh is there anything you won't write on the board have you
ever gotten something you're like no i'm not writing that of course not the cockoo yeah
freedom of speech that's very cool of you freedom of speech well it's also just like i
yeah freedom of speech and also just like i don't get rubbed that way you know i wouldn't be like
whoa whoa maybe like somebody anti-semitic but i don't know oh that would be wow someone just
someone do that and test them out i'd probably do it uh rowey what about uh censorship on tiktok
what about um yeah i've had some friends we've had some guests on here
get to like three million subscribers and they forget what they did but they didn't even do
anything that severe and they got tossed i lost i had a blue check mark instagram account that
was pretty big and they kicked me off so what does that what happens they just completely like
wiped the account i yeah i mean for like two months i can
still see it but no one else can see it and then all of a sudden it's just gone yeah but i didn't
make money off of it i just used it to troll guests like like if it would it's so much easier
to get people if you have a blue check mark because there's so everyone's just a whore out
there yeah totally yeah and i mean that with peace and love yeah in the most respectful way possible
no you know um so i like people there are people like obviously like i have a ton of support and
that's great and like the people that they're like yo like this dude's an idiot like this
shit is so gimmicky like who the hell would ever buy it like i love engaging with them the only thing is that like if i really tip someone the wrong way there is potential for some like serious recourse because
like i'm arguably i'm teetering the line of like what's probably acceptable on tiktok and instagram
anyways so i don't want to piss off the wrong person and like risk having something happen
to my account so i usually like to just play that
side kind of cool like i'll give little jabs but like i won't go my hardest if i like had a clothing
brand and i was like someone was giving me shit i was like okay i can just just shred them but
here i have the day if they help your algorithm and they help you uh sell some boards you're not getting your ego involved yeah yeah i mean i mean
like like in like uh reasonably reasonably like i'm not like looking to go after people in the
comments obviously not but if someone's like really going off on me i'd be like yeah i'll
try and put this guy in his place uh and but like it's just like it's it's a higher risk situation
to engage with that because again if you piss off the wrong person then like and it's just like, it's, it's a higher risk situation to engage with that. Because again, if you piss off the wrong person, then like, and if they're like,
Hey, this account arguably shouldn't be on Instagram anyways, then obviously
that's not worth jeopardizing.
But like someone was like, just send me a DM.
And it's like, this is the dumbest shit, like grow up or, or, or it's actually
probably worse than that.
I don't actually recall what it was.
And then I just like screenshotted it made it my story and it's like said like it's moments like these that make you
want to keep going with like uh i'm about to cry emoji like like i'm so it's such a heartfelt
message and and then he dm'd me again being like this was funny so he was a good sport about it
but uh yeah like i have to, I have to,
I have to remove myself from that because if I, again, if I piss off the wrong person,
then shit could bubble up.
But I have had a couple of videos get removed on TikTok.
And I've like, what's it called?
Gone through the process of,
what's the word I'm looking for?
Protest or like, yeah. Yeah. I don't even care if I get my shit back.
Like, well, I don't care if I get, I just want my account back.
I don't care if like, like the video. Yeah. Like I got a strike,
a strike on YouTube once too.
And I went to took a little class to get the strike taken away. Okay.
And you're right. It is all people reporting you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Like, like, exactly.
Like, like, so this guy, Mason Mitchell in the comments, he's, he's this guy.
So he says a lot of people don't know this, but Seve had a blue checkmark account and he's joking because I probably talk about it seven times in every show.
So do I fuck this guy up right here?
Like, do I like, like, hey, fuck you, dude. Go find another channel to watch.
Or do I be like, good one, Mason.
Good job, dude.
Yeah, funny.
Yeah, you got me
it depends like if listeners are scarce i mean if you want to keep them close to the chest i
understand yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah i have six followers so i'll do a mason that's good thank
you ah you're funny thanks for contributing i don't know the double first name is always like
uh can you trust this guy yeah well it's the same 200 people that watch the show every morning.
So they're kind of like, yeah, Mason, you're a good dude, Mason.
I love you.
Keep the jokes coming.
Fuck if I find out where you live, you're dead.
Yeah.
And look at him.
Look at him.
Look at him.
Like, what am I going to do to him?
Look at this guy's fucking arm.
Like, what am I going to do to him?
He's half my fucking age. He'll punch my fucking lights out take my wife i almost i almost want to say it's a stock
a stock image i don't know if that's actually what me no it's him it's all crossfitters every
one of these narcissistic motherfuckers yeah it's like these are all we do is we listen to the
podcast and flex in the mirror that's like sounds like a good day it is it's a good day
day it is it's a good day uh what about go ahead no no you go ahead i have had uh a bunch of videos like taken down or whatever but like the the bigger thing is um i can't i'm having difficulty
doing running paid ads because that goes through like a whole process that has to get approved
right so like i have had some slip under the slip through cracks but i've also had some not so it's so weird because really you're just selling going back to
yeah thank you mason he says you're welcome thank you i know that was a good shtick i appreciate you
i love you buddy um but uh it's so weird because it's just a piece of wood in the abstract in the
shape of a penis that you serve food on i mean mean, the whole, God, we live with idiots.
Yeah, a little bit.
God.
Yeah.
Just leave this kid alone.
He's starting a business.
At least you're not out in the street fucking slanging fentanyl.
Yeah, far from.
Right.
Yeah, far from.
Slanging dicks, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They really don't let you do paid ads huh
so they do they do i mean like like it's a crapshoot right it's like we'll i'm working
like i have like an ad buyer and you know i send him the stuff he tees it up and then it's just
like a complete crapshoot if it gets pushed through uh but i mean like you know it's not
the worst thing because if i had to just rely on ads then like i probably like would have made such a conscious effort to like develop organic and
organic trumps any paid ad so um i wouldn't say blessing and curse but like it it's not all bad
um yeah i don't get i'll say this don't get shadow banned because even when I had 100,000 followers and a blue checkmark, I was shadow banned so hard. People would send me screenshots of my shadow ban, 100 of them every day.
What does that mean? What does that look like when someone sent you a screenshot of your shadow ban? What does that mean?
And it says you can't tag this person or if someone tries to follow you, they send you like three extra clicks before you follow them. It says, are you sure you want to follow this person?
They spread a lot of misinformation or in and basically.
So I have one hundred thousand followers.
I make a post and it has like seven likes and one comment in the comments like spam.
You know what I mean?
And it's like that for years.
That happened to you.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
It's my new my most recent account. You'd be lucky if you can tag me in that. Really? And I don't that for years. That happened to you, right? Yeah, so that was... Oh, yeah. It's my most recent account.
You'd be lucky if you can tag me in that.
Really?
And I don't do anything crazy.
I just show myocarditis deaths.
I mean, that's it.
Seems pretty minor.
Yeah.
I just have a fascination with heart attacks.
So what?
My AirPods just died.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, you turned into a robot for a second that was cool
you turned into optimus prime is it uh is the quality way worse no actually okay um yeah well
that would be my worst nightmare because like everything's organic or like most of the real
uplift is organic like i'm not running ads right now just because like so many of them got rejected
i have to like kind of rethink a few things but yeah if i got shadow banned it'd probably be like
the end honestly there's a and what's crazy now is um a bunch of my friends are showing
nipple on instagram like somehow we've crossed the nipple barrier so much yeah
what about that blue thing on the wall behind you to your left was that an inspiration
for the board yeah that thing what is that that's a that's a humsa um it's like a uh
part of jewish tradition yeah it's like a jewish emblem of
hope does any part and has that been hanging there on the wall since you've been a young boy
uh i that i don't know probably i wonder if subliminally i wonder if subliminally that
thing uh got to you and that was the uh original inspiration for the penis board
yeah the humza uh the humza is a palm-shaped uh amulet not the one in the rowey's house it's
cock-shaped it's palm-shaped amulet popular through north africa and the middle east hey
that's actually a beautiful uh let me see that the actual humza that's actually a beauty i would
have guessed that that was like buddhist or some shit that's actually beautiful nice right this
yeah it looks like some third eye shit yeah well yeah
yeah i don't know they might say if you if you do a hot search for evil eye yeah is that you
does that yeah it's like uh it's supposed to like ward off some bad guys something like that yeah
yeah um any any what about um uh i have no business getting in this space with you i
apologize but what about other and if you
want me to uh fuck off just tell me but what about other things like um my wife has this like
vase with like wooden spoons and shit next to the oven next to the stove what about spoons that are
like the shape of penises or like it has like a boob handle or all of it i want to do it all
yeah okay oh i really i got i really see like a lot of spinoffs to branch into like kind of the kitchenware, houseware kind of idea.
Like a towel, maybe the shape of a penis or something?
It could be towels, like you said, like the spoons.
Sponges?
towels like you said like the spoons uh sponges sponges fun it could be you know what it could be luckily like the the the penis shape is applicable to many household items yeah yeah so i i i it's
who knows how how high we could fly with this thing a turkey baster that's the shape of a penis
there you go and so like i have like a couple of these
things and the only the reason why they're just like this is built a i just kind of like source
them but b they'll fit in the box right oh genius the box is like like it's custom sized to the
board and then like if you imagine like the area between the balls and the shaft yeah you have like you have like
a vertical area of on the big boards it's like probably like eight inches tall by like three
inches wide so toothbrush there you go i like let's keep it let's keep it i didn't know yeah
yeah see caleb look at caleb you look at caleb you're not an entrepreneur caleb you're a soldier Let's keep it. Let's keep it. I didn't know you had some good ideas. See, Caleb? Look at Caleb. Look at Caleb.
You're not an entrepreneur, Caleb.
You're a soldier.
You're a warrior.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck me, right?
You just protect the business, and we'll fucking make the shit inside.
You just shoot anyone who comes close, buddy.
Caleb, by the way, is deployed overseas.
He's in the Air Force, Mr. Rowe.
His creative juices aren't flowing.
He's taking people's lives, not adding value to them.
All the time.
Almost as admirable as what I've done.
Yes.
Okay, okay.
So sorry.
The box.
Shipping.
Shipping's important.
You have to – no, he knows.
Speaking of – okay, here we go.
Speaking of shower mats, H&m have the best ones no slip
and they're affordable and look pretty good you fucking weirdo yash you're not joking i know
you're not joking you're you're a fucking guy from india who like who has a high fat high taste in
fashion and in bath mats how far is munich from you? Oh, someone knows. He knows. He knows. He knows what you're about to do. Is that where you're going?
I don't think he knows.
Oh, okay.
People have just been guessing things, and I just ignore them because they're idiots.
So the penis is a – sorry, I'm getting wily. Rowe, I just keep interrupting too much. So the penis is a, is a, uh, sorry, I'm getting wily, uh, uh, Rowe. Yeah. Just keep interrupting too much.
So,
so the penis is a good shape.
Practical.
Yeah,
I think so.
I think it's,
I think it's,
it has real world application to a lot of item items that you could kind of,
uh,
penisify,
cockify,
any of the variations.
And,
uh,
yeah,
I,
I,
I do see a lot of like other items and people,
people like people love them. People think it's funny vases like the the decor people people wanna want something different want
something that's you know a little out there allow them to express something you know they'll go for
it it's kind of what i've seen they'll go for it i mean like i i thought i
thought it was like a pretty i don't i thought it was i don't think it was like tragically dumb
uh and but look a shelf a penis shaped shelf well all of it do you have a list of of those things
uh i do now okay yeah right um uh what if you google oh god this is i gotta be careful i
fucked the show up before doing this yeah uh penis accessories i wonder i wonder what um
you oh yeah it's not exactly what i was going for oh god they have a dick accessory on etsy
yeah i'm gonna click it but i'm gonna be careful oh wow wow okay so wow
it's my god hey oh, this is brilliant.
There's one that's a magnet, and it's a banana that's peeled, and there's a penis in it.
And then there's also these little penis things that you stick on light switches.
I didn't even know people had light switches anymore.
It looks like a little dildo, but you just put it over.
Yeah, all that stuff.
Yeah, this is incredible.
Oh, my goodness.
There's some stuff on here I kind of don't want to see.
Penis lighter.
What about the wood?
Would you prefer to keep using wood or no?
You don't care.
Yeah, as much as I can.
I think just keep it on theme.
That's the thing right like
the coasters i could have gone out of like you know that like coaster material like not cork
but like uh yeah like corky type stuff yeah probably do cheaper but you know just trying
to keep it on brand oh man this is pretty clever there's one that's just like this sticker and you put it on your
brake light and and when you push the brakes like a penis lights up on your brakes there you go
wow um are you are you um do you do um any of the dating apps uh yeah but why not just go old school like no no dating apps you're just a businessman and
you meet and you just you think dating apps are bad yeah it's uh it's it's almost like um
it's like supplementary to your dating efforts like it's not like
ah you know what i mean it's like it's like you just
treat it as like an in like an like an inbox like it's there and you kind of it's you know
out of sight out of mind you forget about it every so often very rarely you'll get a little uh
a little flutter and you'll see have you ever gone on a date from a dating app
yeah yeah yeah is it scary is it scary you know what i'm
i'm just like a natural conversationalist so i i don't really sweat these things but yeah they can
obviously be bad i would be fucking terrified yeah yeah it's tough i mean i'm also like, I'm, I'm still at home. Yeah.
So that's a hurdle.
There's others, many hurdles for.
I stayed at, I tried to stay at home as long as I could definitely do it.
Fuck all those people.
Just keep staying.
I stayed, I got kicked out so many times. It wasn't until I was 34 that I was kicked out for the last time.
Yeah.
And my life turned out great.
I can see that. Fucking great out for the last time. Yeah. And my life turned out great. I can see that.
Fucking great.
Yeah.
No, I think.
And you have good parents.
Stay close to them.
Milk that shit.
Stay in the basement and just work your ass off.
I mean, that's the plan regardless.
I probably will be moving out in the summer.
I'm sorry.
My choice.
It's just time.
Just need that independence.
You know, it's also like, I mean, I did go to wafer school, but it's the, I don't know something about the environment.
Like it's the same house. It's all I've known. I just need a, I need to change it up. I see it
as like an investment in myself and the business. Like it's just, I just need a new, I just need
For like stimulus and creativity and just like,
I'm really wearing fit. Like, I'm just like, it's the same. Yeah. It's, I need to shake i just for like stimulus and creativity and just like i'm really wearing fit
like i'm just like it's the same yeah it's i need to shake i'm like i'm such an i'm in like super
anal about my environment when i was at school uh and i go to the library i'd have to make sure i
have like one of four spots or else like my day was oh yeah though it's like you can't just plot
me anywhere like i'm like okay this is good the's good. Like I'm like one of those,
like I'm it's,
it's,
it's bad,
but it's just,
it's a hard wire problem.
I could be like that too.
Yeah.
I was crazy.
Like in the library,
if like my spots were done,
just that's it.
That's the,
that the days of shock,
I go home,
it's done.
Hey,
do you work out?
I,
I,
so obviously to deferring this answer so no but like i'm super active like
i play basketball like three times a week okay like that's become kind of like a form of therapy
for sure yes um i actually like and i didn't really realize it was until i saw this tiktok
it was like this guy it was a great tiktok it applies to didn't really realize it was until I saw this TikTok. It was like, this guy, it was a great TikTok.
It applies to pretty much anything, but it was like, this guy was like about to step
on a gym, like a basketball court floor.
And, uh, it was like all these murmurs and whispers and just like all this, all this
noise in the background.
And then he just like steps on the hardwood floor and, uh, they just cut.
And he's like, basketball's my therapy i'm like
true never thought of it like that but 100 because like at the gym uh i mean this is just
like the human condition where you're just gonna ever shut off your mind uh but at the gym like
you're you're like there's moments of like intense focus but then like you you put down your weight
and you're just like back to like
thinking about the same shit you were thinking about prior but but when you're in like a sport
that requires like your constant focus you you can't think about anything else you just can't
it's like the one time i think it's like the closest you can ever get to shutting off your
brain uh which is like a place that i'd like to be. Cause like this thing's just keeping me up at night kind of thing.
But yeah,
like that,
like that's why I try to be as active as possible.
Like I'll go to the gym if I like don't have basketball just to get a
sweat in,
but like I'm not a gym rat or anything like that.
Yeah.
Don't ever give that up.
I told you basketball three times a week is for sure.
Fucking working out.
Is it intramural or you just go
there and play pickup games so i have a i have uh me and my buddies uh have had like just a open run
for like a year and a half uh we just it's the same 10 guys we show up they draft teams on the
spot and it's just pickup and then i'm in two two other leagues that are have referees which is so nice
because like with covid i haven't had like i haven't played with like reft games in forever
so it's nice to get back there and then uh occasionally so like the two leagues are same
spot same night so i just go from one game to the next it's like the same facility i like the way
you did that that was uh the patented cockootery uh ceo movement i just go from one game to the next it's like the same facility i like the way you did that that was uh the
patented cockootery uh ceo movement i just go from one game to the next that's good exactly yes
always loyal to the brand
and then uh occasionally i'll play like pick up like if i just get called into like some pickup
stuff in the neighborhood i'll just say say, I'll just say yes.
I just, did you have COVID fear?
Yeah. Oh yeah. Plenty.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh wait, did I have it personally?
Yeah.
Yes, I did. I thought I did.
Did you get, did you get over it or do you still got it?
Yeah, it was like a two day.
Oh, you don't, you don't know. No, but I mean like you,
did you have like fear? Not like, oh, you had covid you're saying for two days yeah yes yeah but did you ever have covid fear or were you kind
of like me like fuck this i don't give a fuck and just like cutting through the yellow lines and
riding the subway and licking the ground and like i was like i'm like way off the deep end you know
what i mean like i'm like the only reason i'm like one of your truckers. Think of me, one of your truckers on steroids.
Like I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I, the only reason I wasn't joining you with licking the
floor is because I just like was living with my parents.
Right.
Uh, if I was independent, I would have, I would have like, that makes me happy to hear
that.
Yeah.
You have a cock board.
What do you mean?
I'm not afraid of COVID.
No, of course not. I'm not afraid of COVID. No, of course not.
I'm not afraid of COVID.
I'm immune.
Cock boards is a form of immunity.
What about Lil Dicky?
Arguably, God, what a fucking magical human being.
Do young Jewish men like him?
Is he a...
It's funny you mention that because like i i grew up like never
having like that role model like that really famous person that uh was like oh like this is my guy
yeah once i was introduced to him i'm like this is my fucking guy he's he's insane i think like
he's so insane he is so good i remember on so many levels but like the fact that at like i think it was like the age i am now or even younger and this is like before like everything he just like took his bar mitzvah
money and was like fuck this i'm making a music video yeah at the time we're like like it was
constant you were constantly warned against your online persona and how it might impact
your professional career because he was looking at an ad agency and then he puts out this this video that's uh like ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend
and he just erupts on reddit and he's fucked like he's can't ever get another real job now
he was like really committing.
And like, I think there's a little bit of that leaks into me.
Like if someone, if I was applying to like a real job at some point and they're like,
what's this guy all about?
Like for the last year and a half is all I've been doing.
Luckily, I think I'm in a position where like, I'll be using this to parlay into the next thing, not like having to get a job to supplement this.
I mean, as of now, but I mean, look, if I had to like really get a job to supplement this. I mean, as of now.
But I mean, look, if I had to like really get another job
and they were like going to do a deep dive,
like that's definitely a point of contention.
But I also think now more than ever,
people are probably more accepting of it.
Oh, dude, let me tell you something.
If I'm running, if I have a startup,
I don't give a fuck what I'm selling.
I could be selling fucking bibles
and you applied i would anyone with half a brain would consider you you're a fucking entrepreneur
from from a startup who's learning all the fucking hard knocks in the real world anyone who gives a
shit that fact that you whether you were you're not selling anything it's not like you're selling
fucking zip ties to fucking al-qaeda like, fuck. It's great what you're doing.
I don't think it – I think already your business is successful enough that you've transcended any hiccup anyone has with the penis.
Did you ever see little Dickie freestyling when he was on –
Breakfast Club?
Yeah.
You know, I, I did.
That freestyle is.
So I don't think it's a freestyle because to his own admission,
he's not a good freestyler. Oh, you don't think that was a freestyle?
You're breaking my heart with the Michelle Obama line.
And I don't think it's, I actually don't think it's a freestyle because no,
uh, wait a sec. And he's, and he, and he says the line about hummus and yeah uh
but but those are those are spinoffs of other jokes that he's made i believe in um
what's the song oh you're breaking my heart either way it was amazing even if it wasn't
they presented it like it was a freestyle and i was just like i i've watched it like 20 times with my kids i can't even stop watching it i i don't even think it's to say
it's not a freestyle it's not discrediting him in any way okay personally i mean like
freestyling is like to me the most impressive thing anyone could ever do i think right like
that guy harry mack that guy's insane amazing that guy is amazing that guy is crazy he's so so good and and he uses
the plot like he uses the tools available to him so well like on tiktok he's he's killing it he
goes on omegle and records his feed and tells people to throw him words records that like his
i could never go on omegle have you ever done omegle i'm terrified of omegle me too i i i went to it once and i clicked on it and quickly clicked
away and i went and took a shower and i didn't even see anyone i was like i can't fucking do this
oh yeah is that yeah that's the only time i did it i think yeah yeah we went live on this show
that's right caleb oh that's that was terrifying terrifying terrifying we i did it like with my
friends and shit when we were like younger in middle school yeah i would need like 10 guys
around me and a bong yeah like fucking around yeah but no today uh no that guy kills it but
yeah freestyle okay like freestyle if you freestyle that it would be like different but
also to like pen and paper that is just as impressive it's like everything he says
is double meaning uh yeah and he's just a phenomenal actor like it's crazy that how
i did get tired of his show though a little bit like i try i watched the season i was like okay
i get it i got a little exhausted it's a little too self-deprecating like i wanted to see him come
up a little bit so you know what i actually like there's moments of the show where he has these like moments of
like monologue where he's just like i'm the shit i'm god's gift to earth oh good i don't think
that's an embellishment i think that's actually how he views himself which is which i think is
great like i actually me too i think he sees himself like that and the fact that he's so
vocal and and like forthcoming about it it's like okay i don't remember those parts that makes me feel
better i just don't he self-deprecates so much that i'm like okay i need a little bit of self-love
yeah yeah i mean that's i mean i think that's a i think that's a jewish guy thing
that's like my whole angle like howard stern even. It's a little bit – I obviously know he is a little bit before my time.
Oh, lots of self-deprecation too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I think it's just – it's easier to do that than to gloat.
Keeps your ego intact.
You also just look like a douche if you're gloating.
Well, also, once you've self-deprecated, it's kind of like a shield.
Like if I tell you i have a one
inch dick now what can you say to me like it's all it's all compliments from there on out hey
you have a two inch dick yeah thank you yeah now we're rolling in it yeah yeah but uh like that's
like i i'm a bit so i would love to pretend like i'm this like guy or entrepreneur that like reads all the time.
I don't at all.
And it's not because it's not for a lack of trying.
It's I can't retain a fucking thing.
Like I have to read like the page six times before it sinks in because like my mind is always so elsewhere.
But I do retain really well through podcasts and I'm like driving a lot.
So I have like the perfect opportunity
so there's been a bunch of podcasts i've really liked uh so dax shepherd's armchair expert if
you're familiar you know i don't i don't know no you know kristin bell no yeah like she's uh
she's frozen yeah you know krist. She's forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm 50.
I'm 50, dude.
I'm 50.
I have little kids.
I go to the skate park all day.
I troll people on Instagram to get them on my – I don't recognize her.
I see her now.
No, so that's his assistant.
Look up Kristen Bell.
I recognize that guy with the mohawk yeah i don't recognize her
really no but that guy she's standing next to kind of looks familiar yeah so her kristen and
dax our husband and wife they're both like he's an actor but now he's like been big up with his
podcast and she's like a bit one of the biggest actresses ever right now really tell me some movies she's been in tell me
movie i saw the menu on on uh itunes i don't know she's that's not her oh uh that is the queen's
gambit girl i think i don't know that either that's a tv show yeah i was big during covid
i tried to watch that i tried to watch that uh housemaidens one where like they just fuck certain
i couldn't make it through one episode.
I was going to kill myself.
Bridesmaids or something where there's just only certain girls that can have babies and they're passed around.
Isn't that Handmaid's Tale?
Handmaids, yes.
That's actually set in Toronto or something.
I don't recognize any of these movies except Frozen because my boys watch Frozen like they were trying to break to like yeah yeah no she's she's big she's big okay anyhow um you say you have you have little kids
yeah two six-year-olds and an eight-year-old
then they'd for sure know frozen as as you would as well yeah yeah that's what i mean i've watched
frozen a thousand times that's
her yeah but but she did but she's i only hear her voice in the um yeah because it's a cartoon
right yes yeah um in any case i've just been big on podcasting and you know you know adam
divine or devine like the little guy that's the guy he's in that um he's the singer
uh no in that video where he goes to weddings and they pull the sheet up and he's singing.
No, that's Adam Levine.
Oh, shit.
I don't know.
Adam Devine.
Yeah, Adam Devine's an actor, like little guy he's in.
Yeah, that guy.
You recognize that guy?
No, but he looks like this other guy I've seen on social media, Tyler something, who
sings nasty songs, but in a really beautiful voice.
Oh, that's funny.
Anyways, he was on the podcast this is like we've had a little bit of a detour here but to bring it back okay
that's okay i like it that's what podcast sorry i find um he he was on the podcast and he's like
my my like weapon when i was growing up was just like to call like self-deprecation because you
just beat people to the punch.
Like they know – it's disarming people is pretty much what it is.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So that's – when you said that, I was like, yeah, that's kind of a direct quote from Devine.
Is it Devine?
Devine?
I think it's Devine.
I also like your mom jokes.
Just going straight at people's moms as hard as I can.
Yeah?
Like what you got?
Say that again?
What do you got?
Like if someone says something like,
you look like an idiot riding that motorcycle.
Like if I post it on social media, me riding a motorcycle.
And I'll be like, just so you know,
your mom doesn't look like an idiot riding my cock oh okay you know
what i mean just like a motorcycle i do have a motorcycle but i haven't ridden it in years i've
three or four motorcycles to get on a motorcycle i feel like i do well it's it's really nice i
can't recommend it though as a parent i can't recommend it, though. As a parent, I can't recommend it. Yeah, yeah, I bet.
I know it's not the comparison that would do it any justice.
I grew up snowboarding, but then during the pandemic, I got into trail biking through forests and shit.
And immediately, I just felt so different because on your snowboarding, you're perpendicular to the direction you're moving, right?
Like, your chest is sideways, but you're moving down.
And so, like, whatever, you're turned.
But, like, and I think, like, indirectly, I felt, like, a little out of control because I'm, like, not looking the direction that I'm going or not facing the direction I'm going.
But as soon as I'm on a bike and I was, like, direction i was going i felt so in control so in control like i was
taking i was doing like the near miss on purpose kind of oh oh yeah so i feel like just like the
amount of control you'd have like on a bike and then like a bike would be pretty cool i don't
know i feel like i'd love yeah you would love a motorcycle weaving through traffic you feel
in fucking invincible yeah yeah because our lane splitting is legal in california
you can do crazy shit yeah well yeah isn't that like have you seen nathan you must have you know
nathan for you no you heard of the show the show that's what it's called the show nathan for you
is the title of the show no and pretty much i don't know shit that you know it's called the show nathan for you is the title of the show no and pretty much i don't know shit
that you know it's really good you love it it's essentially like this guy he's actually canadian
and his whole thing is like he positions himself as his marketing expert and he comes up with like
the most absurd solutions to help struggling businesses like for example it was like like
your it was like a pizza place and it's like your pizza will be delivered in five minutes or it's free.
Obviously impossible.
Obviously impossible.
And the size of the pizza was like a Lunchables pizza.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's just like shit like that.
It's like actually ingenious.
I love Red Bulls.
It'll give you wings.
I loved that.
I thought it was brilliant.
What, just the tagline? Yeah, and just the cartoons. And I loved Red Bulls. It'll give you wings. I loved that. I thought it was brilliant. What?
Just the tagline.
Yeah.
And just the cartoons,
the commercial fucking absurd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
so one of his thing was like,
like,
cause lane splitting is legal in California.
He would like offer,
he would like hire people to pull up on a motorcycle.
And it was like the driver and a passenger.
Yeah.
And then he would offer to drive someone's car that was stuck in traffic to their destination
yeah and then have them hop on the back and get like lane split driven to where they're trying
to go and then the other person would would drive their car to their office but at least
and so like no one fucking went for it. But like it's these kinds of ideas.
Hey, I'm probably going to get in trouble for you.
Are you on a computer or a phone?
Computer.
Okay, good.
I'm going to show you this.
Look at this.
I just think this is – oh, it's five years ago.
God, I think this is so brilliant.
So we have this holiday in the U.S. that's called Thanksgiving.
Right.
Like you're supposed to – you kill a Turkey and eat it.
We have, we have, we have the same holiday.
Oh, you guys got that. Okay. Up there. I'm sorry. Okay.
There we go. There we go.
This does not look good.
Here, have a red bull and pass it on
no red bull no good right i thought they were gonna do something with like he can fly anyways
he's a turkey oh that's what i mean turkeys can't fly so turkeys can't fly so although they
we have a shit ton of wild ones around my neighborhood and at night they um they go
pretty high up in the trees they got like a like they got like a one jump couple flaps you know okay
yeah yeah go high go vertical kind of like a uh oh you think i did just get flagged for that isn't
that crazy how do i get flagged for fucking selling your garbage sugar drink you fucking
assholes how about thank you how about send me a thank you
yeah these city folk don't know yeah turkeys can fly of course they can fly and they want to be rude to it caleb but um okay cool that's good okay i'm just hard working i
don't know these things because i'm hard working it's not because i never go out this episode no
uh mr cock is going to think sebon never goes out no i'm just i it's not because i never go out this episode no uh mr cock is going
to think sebon never goes out no i'm just i just do you think your dad knows who kristin bell is
no oh yeah see i get it then i get a pass on that he's got like 17 years on you and he's
a foreigner so hey did he do Krav Maga?
No.
Oh.
Then I'd have to.
I'm suspect that maybe he's not Jewish.
Yeah.
No, he is.
He's trimmed.
We all are.
Not this Armenian man.
My poor wife.
Oy vey. Oy boy boy is right uh mr uh uh roey dunkel dunkelman yep i really appreciate you coming on you are an absolute amazing conversationalist
and now i know why you're not afraid of uh tinder you are cool as shit
appreciate it yeah i might have to might have to jot you down
as a reference anytime uh cock ootery boards uh what a what a cool thing i'm you're i just love
having these people the the truth is is here basically for me it's just a dude who had
ambition and is killing it and started your own business and dude your parents are probably so
proud of you and you're going to be so successful
in life. And thanks for letting me, uh, rub elbows with you for a minute.
Rub away. So I'm here. I appreciate you coming.
I know we had a little hiccup last week cause we were supposed to have this.
Um, but, uh, no, I'm just, I'm so glad you reached out. Uh,
despite the blue check Mark, I just decided to give you a shot.
Thank you. I'm obviously relieved. And, uh, yeah, exactly. We got it done exactly we got it done no it's just fun i love it uh i could talk about it forever
and uh yeah it's being touched i mean uh i guess i guess you got another listener now um so what
is that does that bump you up to 201 201 i do want to say this to you i want to apologize for one
thing let's hear it every podcast you do now will only be downhill and and i i mean that with
you do yeah i mean that with absolute sincerity everyone is now going to seem
uh it can't be humble about it i know you said that gloating is such braggery but
every single one is downhill from here, and I'm sorry.
You know what?
You have a good thing going here.
I can tell.
Thank you, sir.
You got the voice.
Oh, I've never heard that in 700 shows, but I do.
Is this 700?
Wow, that's impressive.
You know, I heard a stat the other day that like 1% of podcasts go past, or like maybe not 1%,%, but like very small amount go past seven episodes.
Dude,
you're outpacing a lot of people.
Dude,
this is a top 0.5% podcast in the entire world.
And it's still fucking tiny.
That means that down below me are just,
yeah,
there's like 2.6 million podcasts groveling for like just a hundred followers. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, it's, it's a tough racket. Oh, it's like 2.6 million podcasts groveling for like just 100 followers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's a tough racket.
Oh, it's so tough.
It's fucking a joke.
I mean, I love podcasts.
I might spin one of my own one day, depending on what your availability is.
You're always welcome on the show.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, please, if you do come out with some new product, please come on.
I won't keep you.
I'll only keep you on for 15 minutes if you come on again okay that that probably sweetens the deal a little bit all right yeah and of our yeah we can't youtube is just
fucking us every time we go up in subscribers we go back down like they they they got some
problems with the the injection talk i like to talk about the injection a lot i see see. They don't like that so much. They don't like that.
Well, it's a good thing you're whispering.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, fellas, I do appreciate it. Sincerely. It's been, it's been a blast.
I know you have to pee. It's okay. Me too.
Until next time.
Okay. Peace and love. Thanks, Rowe. Like I said, come on anytime, brother.
Thanks guys. Yeah. I appreciate it. Have a good one.
Ciao.
That's pretty solid for a 25-year-old dude to hang.
Yeah. It's getting a little antsy there towards the end, I think.
Yeah, to pee.
I'm developing cock eatery boards just to add to a C&D to my rec.
Cock eatery.
C&D, that's like your job.
Your job.
Cease and desist.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, he needs another cease and desist.
That's right.
Okay.
Right.
I thought it was CV.
What's CV stand for?
That's like your resume, right?
A CV?
Sure. Someone's like, I'm working on my cv i haven't written a resume in four years five years better dust that shit off
hey uh twitter had a sensitive content warning for this podcast no shit
what all six of our listeners on twitter i don't think i've ever seen
right well look at it i mean
twitter's worse than instagram dude yeah yeah for sure but like like there's a whole genre now of
men on um on instagram i think think a Nikki rod was doing it
too, where like you see them working out and you can see their big cock swinging around from
through their shorts. Right. And it's like, and there's nipple everywhere. And just, it's,
it's crazy to think that I I've ever done anything that remotely could consider being banned. I guess
I called that girl the other day, a cum dumpster that i actually i wish i wouldn't
have done that in hindsight that's like the worst thing i've ever done i think
the podcast i'm going on thursday had a sensitive sensitive podcast warning on it on youtube never
seen that for seven on show and you're not going on a podcast shut up no one invited you on a
podcast shut the fuck went on uh coffee pots and wads i think or it's clydesdale one of the two uh mason thanks for the alley-oop earlier you're a
good dude devesh maharaj the hammer been a couple weeks since the last season this is probably time
for a new one oh there you go yeah of course the smart indian guy knows yes it's latin for resume okay
so dry here i'm going to um um going to lake tahoe tomorrow sweet
i'm going up to uh woodward hey you think you think our account already has the
like the i'm gonna go see if we already have like a i think i just checked and it wasn't anything on
there dang you're quick oh never mind i'll take it back it's there it's just a limited oh what's
funny is i'm going to request the review and the show's not even done
yet.
We've had,
we've had a lot of entrepreneur,
preneur,
preneurs on this show.
I was just thinking,
um,
Dale,
Saran,
um,
King.
Oh yeah.
Shit.
Doc Spartan.
Dude,
this could be called the entrepreneurial uh um
podcast yeah i could have a whole series and make a whole playlist for it yeah entrepreneurs
hey so tonight at six o'clock i'm having this guy on i think he um he might be one of the the best
what they call growth hackers i'd never even heard that term until recently but it's exactly what we're not doing for this show okay growth hacking is just like
when you do stuff like to make your business grow so it's a fancy term for like like the stuff you
take the stuff you're already doing and then utilize it to grow faster.
And like, basically he, I was listening to him on a podcast and he was, his name's Aaron Jin.
And he was basically saying stuff like, yeah, people just think that they can work really hard and put out a good product and their shit will fly.
And, and I mean, he's a, but basically that's not true.
And I'm just like, fuck, I'm going to hate this podcast today. Cause that's not true. And I'm just like,
fuck,
I'm going to hate this podcast today.
Cause that's where I'm at.
I'm like,
I'll just work.
I'll just work hard and do the right thing.
And it'll all turn out.
Hunky Dory.
He's going to pick us apart.
Uh,
Seve,
are you flying or driving to Tahoe?
I think I'm driving and I think my kids are flying.
Meet you there.
It's just a 20 minute up and down.
I think they'll land in Trucke truckie that's where they'll go i don't think they'll fly into tahoe to be honest
because we're going to woodward the skate place
yeah the resort there is boreal am i shadowban banned? Do I exist? I don't know.
I think she was looking to see if Yash could,
if she can see Yash's comments. I think she just has top chat instead of live chat on.
Oh.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
You're answering Trish's question.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I was wondering that one time I was listening to the show
when Hiller was doing our show,
and I couldn't figure out how I didn't see all the comments.
Live chat.
Got to change it to live chat.
Are you and – yeah, Ryan, are you and Susan and Bill doing what it takes to open an affiliate soon?
Who's Bill?
Bill Grundler?
I don't think we're doing it with Bill Grundler.
I think we're doing it with Chris Cooper and Hiller, although Grundler would have been a good idea to do it with too.
I don't think it's a private airport,
but it's a private plane we're going on.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Or my kids are going on.
Seban, are you going live on Out in Tahoe?
That's the question.
What happens in the next four days?
That's the fucking question.
I'm going to take a... Oh, can you guys see my new chairs?
You guys – so the couch is gone.
I don't know if you guys saw.
I got these two red chairs, and I ordered a table.
You probably can't see both.
Maybe I could switch cameras, and you guys could see both the chairs.
Is that the table, or is there a different one?
No, it'll be a different table.
The table hasn't come yet.
And that's why Dave was supposed to come on yesterday,
but I couldn't get all the shit set up in time.
The chair's looking good still.
Thanks.
Okay, so look at this.
So that's a camera, just like a shit web camera I have up there,
but you can see like I got these two chairs
and then I can turn around and face the guests and
there'll be a table here.
And I think I'm going to even get a third chair and then somehow one in
there say that.
Yeah,
I think I can.
Cause I can,
I can also move.
I mean,
it's still like,
Oh,
those people are still probably like seven or eight feet from me.
Yeah. It's going gonna be cool nice get a couple other different cameras in here and uh i think i maybe put a tv monitor back there or something
i wish money was no object i would just get tons of shit and just start trying different shit
i just want to spend like 50 grand trying new shit.
Instead.
My budget is like $50.
Nice.
Oh,
whatever.
Figure it out.
Did you go dumpster diving for those?
Easy.
Jethro.
I got those.
Those are actually,
I got on Amazon for $80 for the pair and I had to assemble them and they're,
they're,
I can't actually believe how nice they are.
80 bucks. That's it. Yeah. And they're so nice. That's the couch is just over there.
Maybe I'll integrate the couch too. Maybe the couch will end up going somewhere too. Who knows?
There's a, there's a ski resort up there called Boreal and they have a fancy indoor skating place. It's called Woodward. And I got coaches there.
And my kids are going to go skating there. I'm going up there with Greg's family. So Greg's kids and my kids will skate and ski there for like four days. I'm pretty excited.
And it's really hard for me not to do the podcast. I never put anything ahead of the podcast,
but I have to take advantage of this and I'm pretty excited.
It's going to be great for my kids. So, yeah,
so I will be taking all my shit up there.
I don't know what the internet's like at the house. No, no, Dave will be Dave,
David, David, David Castro is coming on. No. Yes.
David said, Heidi, you're not good on camera oh oh oh shit wow
oh so david's dead wow heidi was good she came on the ufc show and actually like i was expecting
it to be pretty fucking bad and and i scared the shit out of me when kayla brought her on
and she actually did good i mean mean, I had such low expectations.
I'd say if I expected a one and because of that,
even,
even if she was a two,
it's a hundred percent better,
but she was better than a two.
She was like an eight.
She carried her own weight and shit.
I was going to say like a five,
but no,
no,
she was good.
She was,
I mean,
that was her first,
uh,
um,
that was the first time.
And she's always been good at the, uh, at the, at the, in Wadapalooza. And she's always been good at the at the at the in Guadalupe Luzza.
Like she's always ready.
Like I just I just like with no warning.
I'm like, you know, Heidi.
Hi.
She always has something to say, which is really impressive.
Yeah.
90 percent.
Oh, you think that's why people watch?
They're just hoping for like Heidi's. They're going to catch the show where Heidi makes her yearly appearance?
Yeah, she is a force. I agree.
She's a force to reckon with.
All right.
I will see you guys tonight at 6 p.m. with Aaron Ginn.
And we'll talk about
growth hacking and all sorts of stuff. He was one
of the first people ever to
I think in early 2020
to write an article
on Medium being like
what the fuck is going on with this virus?
There's no data to show that it's as dangerous
as people are saying. I think it
got over 3 million
reads on Medium in the first 24 hours.
And then it was pulled down and censored.
And,
and I was actually introduced to him through,
uh,
by Greg.
So bam,
there's that.
Okay.
Later homies.
Later Jethro.
Uh,
we will see you guys this evening.
Bye.