The Sevan Podcast - Bella Martin | The Voice on the Floor
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Wow, look at this.
Look at all these
nice people already.
Bella is the best.
That was easy. Do you know who that is?
Yeah, he's out with Mayhem.
Oh, okay. I was like, man, so that's an inside cook, and let's see if someone says
you're the best. Well, does he know?
Do you actually know him, or do you just know him as an athlete?
No, I know him as a human.
Oh, okay. That doesn't count.
That doesn't count.
That doesn't count.
It's cheating when your friends are on are you in um uh are you in san diego heck yeah i moved
here on christmas eve oh i do i'm so sorry for making you get up this early or i shouldn't say
making you thank you so much for getting up this early. I was already up. So I, this is actually perfect.
You already got two workouts in.
I wish.
No, that's later.
I don't have, do you recall if you and I have ever met in person?
We haven't.
You and I were shoulder to shoulder at the games this year on the floor,
kind of in that media pit area during the award ceremony
and so you're you're all business and i was just standing there trying not to cry because i was so
excited for people oh okay well i don't even remember being at the award ceremony i usually
try to cut out before the award ceremony you guys like the award ceremony huh were you an athlete
why is that emotional for you no i just love it when people can succeed it with our goals and that's it I just get really
excited for people and then that's what makes me emotional is when other people achieve really
great things it makes me really happy so it's always fun I noticed in that Stephanie Price
interview you liked the word um uh um give like that's your thing you're you're happy like
like i was like wow she wants to give there she wants to give there like that's your happy place
you that's your thing you you believe in people and you want people to succeed absolutely and
that's something that i try to do with everything that i do within crossfit and within fitness and
everything like that if i can give someone something,
not necessarily tangible, if it's a emotional, you know, attachment and emotional connection,
if it's a cue, if it's anything that I can give to you that makes your life better, that's,
that's what I want. And you're in the position to do that. Like you're not just, um, you don't
view yourself as just a floor commentator. You're like, okay, I got the mic.
I'm going to blow people up. I hope so. I'm going to love on people. Yeah. I think we're more than our jobs if we allow ourselves to be. What's that mean? Tell me what that means. More than our jobs.
Yeah. Yeah. That's great. So I think we're more than our jobs. I think when people see maybe my
Instagram, they see me and oh, you know, she's on the floor. Cool. That's great. But then when
they meet me in person, and we have a, you know, a conversation, or I know something about them,
or I just care on them, and love on them, just like someone else would, regardless of my job,
and I show them a human experience, they're so much happier. And then I'm happier, because I
made other people happy. And it's way better that way. So if all you ever are is
your job, you're not actually living life. You're just doing the job and you're missing out on all
the really freaking awesome things and all the awesome people along the way.
It's interesting. I'm trying to relate to it in my life. The podcast, it's about asking questions
and getting to know people, but also it's the opposite of that.
It's about being present and listening so that you're there for the person.
Absolutely.
I think I like to talk, but I also want to listen.
How did you get that gig?
How do you get a gig?
It looks scary shit
Is it when I think of the people who do your job just to make sure I understand your job, right?
There's a guy who's a cop who has a big beard. I think of him. I forget who that is
Larry I think Dylan I think of Kiki. I think of Travis Bajent
Yep, and actually Dave Casper did it at the I
Want to say the 08 games.
He sat in a chair, he sat in a chair and did it. His, he had a pretty unique style. His was kind of like, this was the opposite of yours. It was bully the athletes, which is kind of cool.
Bully them a little. Yeah. He can, he would just be able to get lift like that. Don't do that.
Don't drop the bar again.
I'm like, whoa, that's the comment.
You're the fucking commentator.
You're not the judge.
I've heard judges actually, they, you know, they don't have an MC on their floor.
And so the judges will kind of step in and they'll take the mic, but then they're just
judging people on the mic.
Yeah.
And I joke around and I'm like, no, I'm judging you as I'm on the microphone, but I'm not
actually judging you. Right. I always tell people that I'm judging you because I know
you can squat deeper than that, but I'm not actually the one that's giving you reps or not,
but great. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Before you tell the story, the origin story,
have you ever done that? Have you been like deeper bitch? Like, like, um, have you ever?
Yeah. So like, and you accidentally came out. Yeah. You're like, oops. Oh yeah. No. So if I'm on the mic and
someone's doing something that's just outlandish or stupid, I'll call them out because I know
they're listening and people have told me that they're listening. And so it's kind of fun too,
because especially if I know them and I know they can do better or they can move better,
they're not going fast enough.'ll say something and i think people
they don't expect me to say something but i will it also matters on the certain situations i mean
some events you're going to be able to play a little bit more than others but i definitely
definitely have called some people out of microphone uh mean for time bella bella is
awesome does anyone say your name with like an Italian accent? Like all. Yeah.
There's that.
There's Bea when I go to, you know, Spain and things like that.
You can call me whatever you want.
Two L's.
Yay.
Yeah.
I remember that.
Yay.
Whatever you want.
Okay.
So tell me about your first gig.
Let me guess.
I'm going to guess it was on accident.
I'm going to guess you were somewhere and someone's like, hey, can you do this? Kind of. So there was an MC, his name's James,
who used to do a lot of events and he, we met in Austin and he said, Hey,
I think you'd be really good at this. Is he hitting on you? Is that his way of hitting?
No, he's being, no, he's just being serious. being serious okay and so and he was on his way out of the space he's kind of trying to retire from doing events and move
into a different career path so he meets me and he's dude you should do this and in my mind why
would he say that about you why would he say that about you how does he know you um he met me through
coaching and just general, just presence.
And what were you doing at the event?
You were a fan?
No, I was actually at the gym.
So I wasn't even at an event.
So you're 50% right in thinking I kind of accidentally stepped into it.
So he came up to me, said I'd be good at it.
I said, probably not.
I don't really enjoy speaking in front of crowds. That sounds actually like a nightmare.
And then he convinced me to do it.
I did the High Rocks US World Championships as my first event in Chicago.
And I didn't know enough about High Rocks at the time to really fully understand what
was happening.
And that's definitely a learning opportunity for me.
But so I'm there and I ate it up.
It was so much fun.
I was having fun. I was being silly. I was just on the mic. And for high rocks,
it's a bit different because there's scheduled waves and it's a little bit less of what's out
on the floor. Who's doing what? Why is this cool? Things like that. There's way less storytelling to
be done, but I still loved it. And then worked tfx and then i met anthony tom
what's that what's that the fittest experience oh that's the thing that just happened in
the uk it's happening it's happening no that's fit fest this one is in this one's like a community
event in like an hour north of austin okay boston in austin austin austin austin yeah Boston. Okay. Boston? In Austin. Austin, Austin, Austin. Yeah. So I did that one. And I met Anthony
Tom. Tell me the year on this. What year is this? 2021 at this point. So 2021. Yeah. And then I met
Dylan and Dylan and I FaceTimed and we were in the same outfit. We were both wearing green noble
and we got on so well it was a great conversation
he's a really dope dude he's great he's he's awesome and i get to i get to work with him a
couple times in the year and i it's always the events that i'm looking forward to the most
because i get to work with dylan he we have so much fun he warm. He's a warm human. You're a warm human. I think so.
I like hugs.
Yeah.
Probably.
Yeah, he's very warm.
Story on Dylan, you'll love this.
So when we're in Fort Wayne for Masters Fitness Collective, there's a group of us and we're just very silly and we get on really well.
And so this year, we decided it was just going to be prank Dylan weekend.
Because why not?
And so we're at this Mexican restaurant and I go to the back telling it,
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
No big deal.
I go to the bathroom.
I find our waiter and said,
Hey,
it's not his birthday.
I don't want to pretend it's his birthday.
Really?
I just want to embarrass him.
Can we do something about this?
Sure.
Sure.
No big deal.
Comes back. Hey, that's hostile. That's not even pranking. That's like, hey,
I don't know what I want to do. I just want to fucking do it up. I don't know. That's exactly
it. It's not his birthday, but I just want to have fun. It's funny. And so he comes back with
a cup of rice and he's like, yeah, guys, you know, there's fireworks going on outside today but there's fireworks in
here too and he sets down the cup of rice puts a candle in it and then the entire restaurant
starts singing so we didn't even really start it the whole restaurant starts singing and it was
out of kind of a comedy show it was so funny because he didn't expect it to happen.
I'm embarrassed for Dylan right now.
I'm embarrassed for Dylan.
I'll have to find the video
because I took a video of it
because it was so, so good.
But that's just, I mean, that's Dylan.
He's one of those people, he's going to take it.
But it truly is one of my favorite memories with him now.
I have to one-up myself next year.
I'm a really nice guy, so people abuse me.
What a life. Yeah, but he's a good champ. He's a good champ nice guy. So people abuse me. What a life.
Yeah.
But he's a good,
he's a champ.
He's a good champ about it.
And I know if he had the opportunity,
he would prank me back.
So it'd be fine.
Marco Calderon is,
is,
is Bella single.
Yes,
I am.
Thank you,
Marco.
And single just means that you're just,
you don't have a boy,
a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
Yeah.
I'm just,
I'm just me right now.
I got a dog,
but just, you do have a job, a girlfriend yeah i'm just i'm just me right now i got a dog but just you do have a job a dog oh a dog but you don't have a job not really i mean i have a job
but it's not what everybody else has it's not a nine-to-five yeah like people in this space don't
really have jobs well the ones who are who are i don't want to say successful but the ones who are
doing it yeah i think if you want to be successful, but the ones who are doing it. Yeah.
I think if you want to be successful in CrossFit, you have to really double down and commit to doing that.
And you have to also understand that other people aren't totally going to get what you're going to do.
But you also have to have your own back more than you would in a nine to five.
Because if it is your life and it is your livelihood, you have to be confident enough to say, this is what I'm worth.
If that doesn't work for you, I'm sorry. There are certain things that I can budge on certain
things. Oh, I, okay. Uh, in the Stephanie price interview, um, you said, uh, Hey, if someone
wants me, I'll make sure it gets done regardless of price. Right. So that's what I mean. There's,
there's a difference though, because there's doing an event that's a local event for less than my day rate, but they're still paying for hotel, still paying for travel.
I'm still making money on it, and I'm not losing out, and I'm still at the event.
Right. Okay. Right.
I can still afford to eat, which is important.
It's interesting.
Interesting. Everyone I know, including the athletes, who I think is successful in the space, did it for free.
In the beginning, yeah.
Yeah. Free is not even the right word. I'm just trying to think of how to phrase this.
I would usually pick opportunities, I guess.
Yeah.
I've seen a lot of people fail because they think that they know what they're worth.
Because they're not getting what they're worth.
And so they draw a line in the sand and they fuck themselves.
Right. But they don't know truly the ins and outs of what's actually fair.
You know what I mean?
Because if you just decide in other sports, they're making this much money.
So I'm going to make this much.
You're missing the point.
CrossFit's not like other sports.
These events don't have that kind of money to be thrown around.
And then also like there's opportunity. um there's opportunity so let me get let
me give you an example if rich running said to me hey can you come on my podcast uh every the first
tuesday of every month i would do that and i would do that because i knew i knew i would know that i
could use that i could leverage my relationship with rich to make my life richer in other areas
yeah financially right i would start picking up listeners for my own podcast but i feel like
there's some people who fuck that up absolutely like they're like well like they they they they
haven't figured that out that hey these i'm in a relationship with this group of guys and all we do is leverage each other i love that yeah like so so for example um uh pedro the guy who does the coffee pods and wads
podcast hilarious yeah yeah and he's got that game show i was on the game show oh yeah oh yeah
that's right i was robbed i'm i'm to say this publicly. I was robbed. Truthfully, you were?
Truthfully, I was robbed.
Andrew Hiller were confirmed with me.
He also agrees that I was robbed.
Oh, he was on the show.
No, he was listening.
And he told me we were chatting about it and I was kind of talking shit.
I'm going to win because these are three things that I can talk about really well.
But my downfall was that I talked too much.
I talked too well.
And then I got a point taken off. Did he turn the mic off I talked too well. And then I got a point taken out.
Did he turn the mic off on you?
Yeah.
And then I lost a point.
No, I lost a point.
It was tough.
That was Rob.
Who was on with you?
It was myself, Lucy, and John Singleton.
Hey, that show was surprisingly better than I thought.
I think so, too. I think when you gamify it a little bit and you have people that actually are passionate about the topics at hand, but that'll also argue and kind of they'll change directions.
If you pick the right personalities, it's awesome.
It's awesome.
Totally off subject, but I don't think people appreciate that last show he did where he had Taylor Self and Ariel Lowen and Brent Fikowski on.
That was like some Barnum and Bailey shit. I can't believe he got those three people on a show together.
Why?
You won't ever see those three people anywhere together
unless maybe it was like in passing somewhere at the games i just thought it was brilliant
this brilliant cast of characters a more real logical guy like brent and then this cantankerous
fucking wild card taylor and then and then this uh world-class um uh kind of anomaly athlete and mom lady thing in the superhuman that is Ariel
Lohan. You know what I mean? It's just like, I'm just like, holy fuck, dude. Like, I feel like
this is like a groundbreaking moment in CrossFit. I just loved it. I just love what Pedro's doing
over there. I totally agree. I think it's one of those things. People don't realize how incredible
some of the personalities and the people that are in our space are. And then you put them all in a room together. And I don't even want to be in that conversation. I just want to watch the conversation.
Yeah.
And it's so awesome. Yeah. So it's one of my, I think that's one of my favorite segments right now. It's a good one.
So since you didn't win, you don't get to go on?
No. Did he say, did you ever, would you think you'll ever be back on that show again i hope so i'll tell him i'll come back on
i'll talk about anything and i promise i will hold myself to the time i promise he likes you
no no you should get points for talking over hey i want to look at look at bella bella want to look at Bella, Bella, Bella. Look at. I fondle.
Thank you.
Oh, fondle.
I never got that before until you just said that.
It's funny.
I thought it was just Don Falls name backwards, but it's fondle.
Oh, wow.
I think it's funny if you say that's good.
That's good.
That's a good way to start your morning.
Wow, fondle.
It's a funny joke.
Yeah, that is good.
Wow, Fonda.
It's a funny joke.
Yeah, that is good.
If I went on that show, I would make sure, I would pump myself up that someone on that show when they were done did not like me.
I think I had to hold my tongue.
I think it's one of those things. I would want to burn a relationship, Bella, there.
I would.
I would go there and be like, all all right i'm burning a relationship here just i was worried that i was worried that i was going to do
that with lucy though because there was there was one time we didn't agree and i was like i'm i want
to go off right now but i want to be your friend so i'm going to hold back dang it you're from
some fucking island where everyone's inbred how about you just take a big old shut the fuck up
why don't you just take a big old shut the fuck up?
That would have been the mic drop,
and then I would be completely kicked out.
I would be kicked out of the podcast.
How about the next show?
Did you see the next show she was on?
Which one?
She was on again after you, and I saw her there.
Well, she's in the finals.
She murders.
She murders.
I'm like, who is this chick?
I know.
Well, I think she came on late to ours so i think she wasn't just like she wasn't ready to go when it was us and john and then she got
moved on but she had to hold her own i mean she was with hillar and chase she had to yeah yeah
she had to do that in the sake of women i heard hillar didn't i heard hillar didn't deserve to
win that show i heard that was home cooking that's not fair okay all right all right i think hiller could
argue with anybody and he'd probably win and if we were on opposite sides of an argument by the end
i think he could probably convince me that i'm on the wrong side of the argument i was like
i think that's i think truly that's how he is he's so so good at kind of just, I don't know, discourse,
disagreeing but also agreeing and making it educational.
He can convince me that I'm wrong.
And I'm like, yeah, you're right.
I'll come over there.
Sure.
I went from not thinking a single person was on steroids
to he convinced me I'm on steroids, that everyone's on steroids.
Right.
In less than a year.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?
I walk into gyms now and I'm like,
there's no way.
Yeah.
There's no way.
Are you on creatine?
Really?
What else?
But also that being said,
I don't judge them for it.
I'm not,
I'm not like angry at them either.
Yeah.
I'm not,
I'm not mad.
I ain't mad at you.
No,
they look good too.
Might as well.
Yeah.
You fuck.
Those drugs are really working. They really do. Shane Boyer. No, they look good too. Might as well. Yeah. Fuck. Those drugs are really working.
They really do.
Shane Boyer.
Hello, Shane.
Do you know who that is?
I don't.
Oh, that's cool that he gave a dollar.
Nice.
Andrew Hiller.
I'm a lawyer's worst nightmare.
There you go.
I agree.
But also, you'd make a great lawyer.
But maybe in like the suits way harvey specter way where you
just you know mess things up and then everyone's down with it and they're cool with it and then
you win the case and win the money anyway you're at high rocks they give you the mic
crazy crazy butterflies you're panicking not really i joke around and say that when i get a
mic i black out i let my alter ego take over and she just does what she's going to do. And at the end of the day, I'm just, I'm good. I'm back. Who knows what happened?
Did you know that was going to happen?
doing those, I had to be very focused and on. And so I assumed that that's kind of the mentality that I would take to it where, okay, I've got everything I want to say. I'm going to say it.
I've got my timings and things like that. And then I realized it's a lot more just playing with humans
and just having cool, fun conversations and making it a really fun experience and far less,
at least Hierox was far less about any sort of information and data so it worked out
really well god i'd be terrified i mean do you think you find yourself out there how many shows
have you done oh my gosh so many um i did 28 last year and then wow yeah and that was a blend of
different countries of local of you know small box gyms. It was so many.
Do you think you get to know yourself better out there
or do you think you lose yourself out there?
You do think you get to know yourself better.
I think I get to know myself better.
I think even then I get to know other people better.
You learn a lot about people from watching them compete
and do fitness and how they respond to things.
So you might have a friend that say you work out with them and then you see
them compete and they're yelling at the judge. They, you know,
mishandle workouts. They're not having fun. You're looking at them.
What are you doing, bro? That's not you, but it is them.
That's how they handle stress. That's how they handle pressure.
And so it's really fun to kind of watch people show their true selves out
there, because for the most part
if it's not the games they're they don't have to really put on a performance they're just competing
they're doing fitness for time so it's fun to watch people be themselves are you putting on a
performance um i don't know if it's a performance i think i just am myself and i think in a weird way people like watching me be myself
i don't like the way that came out loud but that's definitely i think people enjoy watching
other people have fun and i have yeah oh yeah yeah people do like that it's like someone even
if they're not a good dancer if you see them dancing and they're having fun you kind of it's
fun watching yeah i'm a terrible dancer and i i probably dance. If ABBA comes on, I probably will dance.
And people will enjoy watching you dance.
I'm sure.
Yeah.
Or they'll laugh at me and I don't care if you laugh at me.
I'm probably laughing at myself too.
You ever catch yourself out there and you're talking and you're like, oh my God, I didn't even notice my energy dropped so low.
Yes.
And then like you're kind of like faking it to
try to get it back up sometimes i think when there's events that are 30 minutes long
it's one of those ones where you have to kind of okay i gotta really check back in
and i might have frozen let me know if i froze you did freeze
oh no i was trying i was trying to think if it was bugging me or not.
I can't tell.
I think it does.
Let me stop my camera.
And your voice kind of went out a little bit, too.
Frozen like Elsa.
God.
That's the best you got, David.
Good morning, everyone Matt Burns, Juice Games
Marissa
Hinojosa
She's in San Diego
400 miles south of me
Maybe I'll just respond to some text messages
So she can
Yes
One of my friends texted me Yes, I am podcasting Maybe I'll just respond to some text messages until she comes back. Yes.
One of my friends texted me.
Yes, I am podcasting.
Oh, there she is.
She's back.
Thumbs up.
Hold on.
Let me see.
Where's my arrow?
There's my arrow.
There we go.
We should be back now.
Moss Bueno.
Yay.
28's a lot.
That means you're never even really home. you're never even really home not really last year was a big year and that's kind of why i moved out to san diego anyway
because a better airport better um better airport i would say i'm closer to australia and new zealand
and that's a long flight and when you have to do that, and then you actually have to go skip over to other countries or,
you know,
things like that.
It's just going to make more sense for me to be West coast right now.
So I'm ready.
I'm full for it.
How many times a year do you go to Australia?
It'll be at least twice.
And then at least twice to New Zealand.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's,
that's,
that's crazy.
Cave Duster,
Sebi,
the haircut looks great.
You look kind of like a young man again.
And, of course, Bella looking as beautiful as ever.
Thank you.
I also like the haircut.
I do like the haircut as well.
Yeah.
Cave is such a suck-up.
Oh, come on, Chris.
But he's not a suck-up.
He really is not.
Chris, I dare you to say something nice about someone. Yeah, yeah. He's not, but he's not a suck up, but he really is not. Chris, I dare you to say something nice about someone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He is.
He's not a suck up.
He can even be a bully down there in the comments.
Asebi, you look very corporate.
Jesus Christ.
It's because I just made a million dollars off the behind the scenes.
It's got to be sick.
What do you spend your first million on?
What are you going to do?
Filthy.
No, it's like my 50th million.
Yeah, but this first million, what are you going to filthy no it's like my 50th million yeah but drugs and alcohol love it good for you hey you know what i spend i spend almost all of my money
on uh just the most domestic shit like uh fixing fixing my car paying for kids' lessons, clothes for my kids,
the heating bill this month is going to be 500 bucks.
You know what I mean?
Just that's all.
It's all that.
It's just a constant flow of money in, money out.
Just, you know.
Yeah.
No hookers and blow.
But fair question.
I mean, yeah.
You got to treat yourself every once in a while
right you're yes you know you you are uh you are you are you have the microphone your hand and then
you're in front of all these people right and then so there's people like it's it's a it's a
a place of a of authoritarian and like stature um do do a lot of boys approach you
is it is it very appealing like you're like a rhino i think of you as kind of like the white
the last white rhino out there and there's like you know if there's a thousand people in the
stands there's a hundred young men out there who are like okay i really like they've kind of lost
themselves in you no stress i think it's okay so So I think that's funny because in, in person,
in the wild, we can say in the wild, people don't approach me at all.
People don't approach me and they're very nice. They're very respectful.
You know, fist bumps here. If I know them, give me a hugs. It's great.
And then it's not until after the event ends. The DMs pour in. Yep.
Oh, that's really cool.
Or not cool.
Hi, I'm a man from the 1950s.
I would like to say hi to you and give you my phone number on this sheet of paper right here.
Not slipping your DMs.
You did a really good job this weekend.
Right.
It's like, thanks, man.
You did too.
Good job.
Pow, man. You did too. Good job. Pow, pow. I think it's funny because I don't see myself as unapproachable, but when I'm doing my job, I think I am almost unapproachable
to the point where someone would want to hit on me, which I think is a good thing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yesterday I went to this restaurant and the waitress was beautiful,
but then my son's like, oh, the waitress is really pretty.
And I'm like, yeah.
And then – but I was thinking.
I was like if I saw her out in the world, like there's something about her being the waitress that like she's the one bringing the food.
She's the one talking.
She's the one standing over you.
But I just must think that you're up there, and you're doing all – yeah, you're doing all this talking, and you have command over the whole audience, and everyone has to all yeah you're doing all this talking and you have command over the whole
audience and everyone has to listen to you there's something that's like that that you're the right
like people not that you don't have other redeeming qualities but you're a um a uh
what's that called
you would be an achievement for someone yeah in like a funny way yeah like
like like someone sees an actor like like some guy who not even you know what i mean like okay
i got her like people yeah yeah yeah alpha lion yeah and then there's some dudes out there yeah
you ever date anyone from from from the dms no no you can't really you know because here if you
can't approach me in person and try to make the conversation the dm's probably just not really
gonna it's not gonna land as well as you think it will yeah i'd be scared how old are you 27
yeah you're you're in kind of a different era than me. I don't know how people do dating apps.
I'd be afraid to meet a stranger.
I think when you meet so many strangers, nobody's a stranger.
Oh.
But you don't go alone.
And then I recently got a Taser.
Did you really get a Taser?
Yeah, I did.
It's awesome.
Where'd you get that?
Online.
You went to a website and got a Taser?
Yeah, you can get them on Amazon.
Is it within grasp of you right now?
No,
it's in my car.
Cause I got to go downtown today.
Hey,
is that a sign of the times?
Maybe.
Who told you to get it?
Did your dad tell you to get it?
No.
So I have one when I lived in Austin and then it also,
I had one with pepper spray,
which is sick.
And then when I just, I just moved to San Diego and the gym owner that I'm coaching
at, he was like, you're going to need a taser just in case you never know.
Like, nobody's going to bother me thinking, you know, nobody's going to bother me.
I have a dog, like my dog gives me scary dog privileges because he's 80 pounds, half
rotty.
So I never, you know, I don't normally feel afraid.
He's like, no, you need a taser.
This thing is sick.
And it tells you how many seconds, if you hold it onto someone's side,
will either make them just like go dizzy,
will lose all muscle control, spasms.
It tells you how much time.
Impotent, neutered.
There should be just a setting on there.
If you hold it for five seconds, it's not good um so don't mess with me
but i have tasers really cool uh christine young i've sent my daughter two tasers because i'm
paranoid mom and daughter lives down south why taser over uh pepper spray um taser will
stun someone and pepper spray is less scary i. And also aiming with pepper spray. I've accidentally pepper sprayed myself.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
So I think aiming with pepper spray is a bit more challenging than just tasing someone.
Especially if someone's coming towards you.
How did you accidentally spray yourself?
This is good.
Was it in an important situation?
Okay.
Well, here.
Go ahead.
No, I'm going to lose all intelligence points here.
So in my mind, if you're going to pepper spray someone and also –
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hold on.
Sorry.
Hello?
Hello?
Hi, this is Shella from UPS Package and Institution Department.
Hi.
I would like to speak with Lucifer Matashin.
Hi.
Hi, this is me.
Hi.
So before I proceed, sir, may I just have your permission to record this call
For quality and training purposes
Yeah I'm recording too
I'm live on my podcast
Thank you for calling
Is this about the claim I put in this morning
About my camera that didn't show up
Yes sir
So I just need to confirm
If you haven't still received the package up until now
Yeah I just put the claim in like an hour ago
At 7.30 in the morning
I looked around in the bushes And in my mail room and i i've looked everywhere
and again i really do apologize regarding the one sir so since you confirmed that you haven't
received the package up until now so um we will uh we were going to go ahead and continue this
investigation to um forward this to our facility because um they're going to go ahead and continue this investigation to forward this to our facility because we're going to contact a driver follow-up to the driver who last handed your package, okay?
Okay, I didn't really understand that, but I have full faith in the process.
I love UPS.
I like your little outfits and the trucks.
I love all that shit.
Okay, so we were going to do a pass to back to the pieces package. Okay, sir. Okay
Just say connected with a thunderous package of this keeper lines open. Thank you and have a great day
Well, I can't use my phone. I have to keep my line open all the time
No, don't accept phone calls except from UPS
Okay, all right, I'll keep the line wide open today. Thank you for telling me that it's important
Okay, I, I'll keep the line wide open today Thank you for telling me that, that's important Thank you, bye-bye Okay, I love you, bye
I love you too, yeah
Dang
Keep the line open, the fuck do you mean
Keep the line open, okay, well
Aren't you even listening to what the fuck you're saying
No, probably not
I mean, she probably thinks, she's probably calling on the landline
Hello
Do you think that was from this country that no no no no shot no shot how disrespectful is that
people how do you know it's disrespectful okay it's not disrespectful you have to live your life
you know good thanks camera i got you i fully support it um okay and you got to enjoy it it
wasn't like i put you on hold yeah you got to hang you were part of it i didn't exclude you i love that i'm in your life now i love this for us you know me too yeah it's intimate okay
and you're about to tell us a really intimate story yeah not great okay so i have this weird
thing about me that if i'm gonna do something to someone else i want to know how it feels so
if i'm gonna pepper spray someone wow hold on let's let that
sit in for a second i know i know it's one of those things i shouldn't say i know i know
there's stuff i there's stuff i do to people that i do not want to do to myself
it's like i also everybody knows that i want to be punched in the face but i've never punched
someone in the face right but i want to i I want to have this like exchange. So, right. It's not a weird, it's not weird,
but it's definitely sounds concerning. So I had my kitchen trash can.
Wait, stand by, stand by. Homegirl is crazy.
Yeah, no, no one said I was normal. Welcome home, Bella. Okay, go ahead.
So I open up the trash can, I get the pepper spray, and I'm just spraying it in the trash can,
thinking that I'll just be able to- Is it aerosol or is it pump? Like you push it and it's like-
It's aerosol and it just sprays. Oh, that's scary.
And so I'm thinking to myself, oh, I'll just go in the trash can. I can smell it. Maybe like touch it and like, you know, just see what it is.
No, I was completely wrong.
And it just comes back at me in my eyes.
My eyes are leaking.
My nose is leaking.
It's just a mess.
It's not.
Was this outside or in your house?
At my own home.
Oh, you really shit.
I was in my own house.
Hey, did you touch house hey did you touch your
did you touch your privates at all or anything on accident no i can't say that i did i immediately
washed my hands yeah have you ever uh uh had that happen where like you were cutting habaneros or
something and you touch your privates no but i've heard i've heard that happen it's happened to me
a dozen times in my life i don't know why i think it's because dudes are
always adjusting their shit but probably fucking probably yeah what a fucking bad next hour that is
well that's good um that could fuck your house up i wonder how long was your house fucked up
did that trash be thrown away i yeah i tied the trash bag and then just threw it away
um but my apartment always had doors yeah i kept the can it was fine all right i do not do that for fun
i do not just throw a hob one one time one time i stole a hob and yarrow bella from um it's it's
this guy okay i don't know if i if I know you want to tell you this story,
but a guy was at my,
a guy was at my house.
Okay.
Well,
a guy came over to my house.
I was actually living in a motor home and I had this girl in there and one of
my friends came over and he started saying stuff that like,
and I,
I wasn't with this girl,
but I wanted to be.
And he started saying stuff that was cock blocking.
Are you from,
do they have that term still cock blocking?
That's not fair. You don't like that. like that yeah not fair so a few days later i went to a party and he was there and then i went to i went to i went to
raley's or ralph's or something to to get more alcohol and they had this big pile of habaneros
and i'm like oh i'm gonna take one of these habaneros and when he's not looking i'm gonna
like do something to his shit and fuck his whole shit up okay i of these habaneros, and when he's not looking, I'm going to do something to his shit
and fuck his whole shit up.
Okay, yeah.
I took the habanero, and I stole it from Rayleigh's,
and I put it in my pocket.
Okay.
Like, I forgot it was there.
I was going to say, did you forget that it was in there?
Yeah.
Fuck my shit all up.
Karma.
How long was it in there? Not long even long like an hour i still took it out and i still
like i i fucked his shit up yeah i he was drinking wine i smeared it all over his wine glass and then
i took one of those garlic presses and i pressed it into his wine and then i just sat there and
he's like
and he was just getting all and i never said anything to him you know what
you need now i think a step up from there would be itching powder you know that's like a grady
bunch days okay that's the thing you know yeah you just got a haircut and i'm sure when they
caught it your neck was all itchy yeah yeah imagine doing that to someone and they really
can't they can't say that you did it because who has itching powder. Okay, it's so random
I wish Caleb was here. He could look up itching powder. Oh good
Dildo, I wonder what the hottest pepper someone has ever shoved in their ass. I eat beavers not here
But a question for another show say if someone else wants to Google that so it's not on my Google
Your algorithm google that so it's not on my google just let me know let us know dad just let us know your algorithm hey what what is the sense in um having a dog if you're gonna do 28 do you hate
yourself you do 28 okay good that's good you do 28 um events a year having a dog is a logistic nightmare yes so i got my dog
funny story so i moved so you lost all your dog resources oh my gosh yes i have a new i have new
dogs that are now name's denise i'm pumped she'll come over next oh you pay for it you pay for it
yeah okay okay so it's someone's business. Okay. So it's someone's business.
It's giving things.
It's someone's business, you know?
So, okay.
So I got Gunner.
It's awesome.
I was in college and it was Valentine's day.
And I'm like, dang, I'm sad and lonely.
So I'm for whatever reason, scrolling on Facebook.
DM Bella, by the way, there's another sign.
I'm sad and lonely. This was years ago. I'm not sad. Bella Martin. I'm, for whatever reason, scrolling on Facebook. DM Bella, by the way. There's another sign. I'm sad and lonely.
This was years ago.
I'm not sad.
At Bella Martin.
I'm not sad.
So I see this, and I'm just scrolling.
And then I have the TV on.
The news comes on.
Someone found puppies in a trash can.
And what girl is going to say no to puppies?
Nobody.
Trash can puppies.
Yeah, trash can puppies.
And so I immediately go to the link that they had.
I apply for the dog, and then within a couple hours, I picked him up.
So I've had him since 2017.
I don't see him on your Instagram.
I don't put my dog on the instagram only because no it's only because i don't bring him to the gym and most of the things i do are
at the gym and i don't take photos in my home because i don't want people to know what my home
is oh oh like if you come to my home welcome to my home but i don't want you know pictures of my
house on the internet but yeah he's on my story all the time so next you know i'll put one up there today and
i'll just tag you and say this is my dog so i've had him for a long time but but it's a lot of work
it causes problems it does or it used to so this past year what i actually got to do, I sent or I drove, I didn't send him, I drove to South Dakota where my dad lives.
And my dad watched my dog for the second half of the year.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
So he's your dad's dog now.
Well, my dad wishes.
He was like, you could just leave him here.
I'm not going to leave my dog.
And so it was actually great, though, because I don't get to often see my family. And so I actually got to spend time with my dad and he watched my
dog. So it was awesome. What year did you say you got him in college? What year was that? 2017,
2017 when he was born. Um, do you, do you, did you have other friends get dogs in college?
I had a bunch of friends get dogs in college i had a bunch of friends get dogs in college most of them
were frat dogs and so there was 30 40 guys watching these dogs which is funny and then i
think now my all of my friends have gotten to the point where now they're getting dogs
and so my dog he's seven and so it's nice to he's totally fine on his own. And he loves puppies, so he gets to play with all the puppies.
I made a list of like the 147 or 247 people, whatever it was, of people I knew in college.
Oh, boy. I was an undergrad for nine years at UC Santa Barbara.
I highly recommend everyone take the nine-year challenge there.
And not a single person except for me kept their dog until it died.
Every single person, their dog was either killed, ran over, given away.
They lost it.
They gave it up.
They took it.
Not one fucking college kid.
Do you have any of your cohort who
kept their dog when you think about it yeah you do i think so yeah all right all right i would
give them i would give them shit if they gave the dogs up especially because you know you get
rottweilers and you get these dogs that need better homes if you give up a dog after it's been in a shelter, you deserve habanero to the other things.
Right.
Hole to hole.
Yeah.
That's a big swipe of habanero.
So you're saying that if you get a dog from a shelter, that you shouldn't return it back to the shelter.
Like, that's fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fucked up.
And I'll say that.
Yeah.
Who's this guy right here? Let let's see find out that's joe
he's my brother okay so not really my brother so joe is one of the mcs out in spain
and we met at guadalupalooza that guy's a foreigner that's a foreigner yeah he's a mutt. I think he was born in Australia, moved to Spain.
And so he's a blend of everything.
And I get to work with Joe all the time, which is really fun.
I'll see him in Miami.
Oh, and there's Dylan.
There's Dylan.
Yeah.
Because there's not a lot of dudes in here.
You don't think so?
No.
There's Rookie.
So I thought maybe that was a romantic interest like
you were signaling him maybe no i do love his wife though i do oh he has a wife wow she's great yeah
she's great i think you're gonna marry a foreigner you think i'm gonna marry a foreigner yeah in a
foreign and then you're gonna go to a foreign land what do you think would you do that are you trying
to kick me out of the country no i'm just saying like what could you be doing an event in italy meet a guy there or spain or
wherever iceland wherever you go and then you're like and then you start a relationship and you
move and you change your whole life and you're not an american anymore if they're from australia
i think australia i would there. That place is cool.
I'm like half in Australia now.
Do you like their culture there?
You like the men there?
Yeah.
They're cool dudes.
I just like everything about it.
They're just good people.
And I think if you think of all the Australians that you know, they have such a joy about them.
And that's awesome.
Do not engage in foreplay after eating hot wings wings is that coming from experience fergie jeez louise okay this is this company is like a um a giant uh psa were you in it were you in a
sorority i was not no but then what but you but you knew but you knew frat guys yeah i all my
studies were sports and things and so most of the time
it's just you meet a lot of men that way and that's totally fine i also thought i was going
to work in professional sports so i was always of the mindset of if you can't get along with men
and have them be your friends there's probably something wrong with you because guys and girls
can be friends so you don't know guys so well you didn't you didn't learn no you can be
you can be yeah you can be i was friends with my wife for five years before like we did any
hanky-panky yeah but that wasn't my choice oh good on her she's she made you work for it right yeah
yeah what's the longest relationship you've had not long i think after a year i
typically decide okay i probably need to try something new because this isn't going to go
the way that i want it to go so that's okay uh meaning like you start thinking to yourself hey
i don't see a future with this person yeah Yeah. But what if you're having fun now?
It still doesn't matter.
It still doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Oh, I got a bad story for you.
Oh, no.
Is it going to make me sad for you?
No, not for me.
I'm going to take what I was.
I was always a take what I can get guy.
Okay.
I didn't have any.
I wasn't like you at all.
It can't visualize.
I didn't look into the future. I was like, oh, I was like a caveman. Oh, look, girl.'t like you at all. It can't visualize. I didn't look into the future.
I was like, Ooh, I was like a caveman.
Oh, look, girl.
I know.
It was great.
Dumb is fun.
Um, uh, I had a, I had a friend, uh, very handsome man and he dated, he dated a lot of really cool, nice girls.
Like he attracted really cool chicks, but he would, but they wouldn't last.
And I would always ask, Hey dude, what's up? He's he's i just can't see myself marrying her i'm like can't see
yourself marrying her like what the fuck like like what's going on here but then i think eventually
he eventually did get married but but i okay let me let me go back because i don't i'm not
comfortable telling the story let me go back okay I'm not comfortable telling this story.
Let me go back.
Okay, that's okay.
Why not just have the relationship with him until it goes sideways?
I don't like wasting people's time.
Why not wait until you hit him or he hits you or something?
You know what I mean?
Why break up with anyone?
Why not just…
or something. You know what I mean? Like why I break up with anyone. Why not just,
I don't like wasting people's time and I don't have a ton of time to give to people,
if that makes sense, you know? And so when I'm, when I'm home, especially when I travel, if I'm going to give someone my time, I want it to be worth it for everybody and to be worth it
for them, be worth it for me. And if I start to feel that, okay, yeah, this isn't going
to go the way that I would like it to in the long run, then it's not fair to them. But then it's
also not fair to friends that I don't get to see because I have to pick and choose who I get to
spend my time with, you know? Could you give me an example of what it looks like when it's not
going? It's like, you're like, okay, this this isn't gonna go well um probably when they've
cheated on you but they convince you it's your fault yeah yeah yeah love that right hey you were
out of town for two weeks yeah what was i what was i supposed to do this thing my favorite
my favorite was the guy went back home to go visit his family comes back and he's like uh you know
we're just a longtime friend and you're like yeah i have longtime friends too
that doesn't mean showering with them yeah that doesn't mean that we have sleepovers like what
is this um do they do boys admit that when they do that or do they uh or do you have to catch them
um i think it's both i think it really depends i think you can pick up on cues that someone
probably did something that they're not proud of or that they shouldn't have done and then
if you but also if you find it it's been it's been happening not i'm not really a snooper you know i had i don't want to
snoop i had a girl one time telling me hey you you you were out with your ex i'm like no i wasn't
she's like hey where you went camping with her i'm like no i didn't and then she pulls up this
picture this is like when the pictures when there weren't cell phones there weren't even cell phones i
fucked my own shit up i took a picture when i was there with this other girl and i developed it you
know like i had to take that shit to play less and develop it oh my god i'm like and i'm looking
at it i'm like i don't know when that was she's like i do that was last week it's tough that's tough that's okay photo evidence yeah if you find the
photo evidence it's been happening for a while and that burns scumbag no i was just young i was
yeah uh david weed uh uh no no uh uh cave dastro uh uh i think this is about you bella hot and crazy i don't get any
crazy from bella what are you talking about i feel like i'm not crazy i think i'm you don't
you have no crazy body you have no i don't think i'm crazy i think there's experiences that i've
never had i didn't play contact sports and that's where i get the i want to be you know tackle punch
i don't know how that feels yeah i was a swimmer, tackle punch. I don't know how that feels. Yeah. I was a swimmer.
I don't know.
I don't know how that feels.
I think the weirdest thing that I saw within swimming community, someone jumped on someone's
head getting into a pool and they got a concussion.
Oh, so it's just, that was contact.
Um, man, you should, you should take a little jujitsu.
You get to roll around with sweaty, hot butt, Brazilian men.
Yeah. But I always see people who do that and they get like ringworm and things i'm just not about that you have germ
do you have germ concerns no but when i was coaching once and this guy comes in and it's
on his leg it's on his arm yeah and i knew he did brazilian jujitsu classes. And so I said, hey, man, I think you should probably go not be here and go get that checked out and get some stuff for it.
And he goes, oh, I don't really know what it is.
And I, no way.
Did he have an accent?
No, he was just texting him, you know.
Hey, you guys, someone else said something in there, too.
There's no no look at
look at her eyes they're very sober uh sane eyes you can't crazy is like you see start seeing the
whites on the top of someone's eyes you know yeah like that oh yeah good okay maybe she's a little
crazy or she just showed us a little i just got big eyes i guess i don't know this um this this travel thing too isn't probably too conducive to dating no no way it's just not
fair you know i get to go do really cool things and experience really cool things in amazing places
and if i can't bring them with me or and it's unlikely that anybody could really travel with
me all the time it's not fair that could really travel with me all the time.
It's not fair that I get to go live this really cool life.
And then someone's here.
Oh, fuck it.
Fuck fair.
Yeah, I guess.
Black John Young.
Oh, what dating app is she on asking for everyone here?
I'm on Raya.
Is that really a dating app?
I'm on Raya.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah. Even, uh, there was another one. He'm on Riot. Yeah, it is. Yeah.
Even there was another one.
He had another question.
I don't see it.
No, you don't have to. I like the idea.
Now, the more and more I think about it, I like the idea of you have a guy in San Diego.
He's very busy.
He's doing his own thing.
He's got like a can recycling business or something
okay i'm dating like beach riffraff just yeah we bet he had a camper on the beach
and you um you you fly in and out um doing your thing and um and uh and he just picks you up from the airport
and brings you home and takes you
to the airport and like
he just kind of helps you out and
he's just like your peace at home.
That'd be nice.
I like peace. He loves dogs.
He loves 80 pound dogs.
He's gotta love my dog, of course.
You ever had a dog get in the middle of a relationship where like the
relationship's over and it's like,
Oh fuck,
who's going to take the dog?
No way.
It's my dog.
No way.
Do you ever,
you ever lived with anyone of the,
of the opposite sex and that you were in a relationship?
Not really.
No,
I've actually lived by myself since I was 18.
And like,
I'm one of those people that I definitely,
I'm not, I'm not opposed to, Oh, if we're together all the time, you know, we'll spend a couple of days here, a couple of days here.
But.
If I lived by myself for a year, no one could ever live with me ever again.
It's actually not.
I probably would be a problem.
Yeah.
Like, like I would be turning to the biggest control freak ever.
Like shit like the toothpaste.
You set the toothpaste in the wrong spot.
What do you mean?
It goes right there.
It is right there.
That's how we load the dishwasher.
Yes, yes.
All that shit.
Wow.
No, if I live by myself, I wouldn't even dirty dishes.
I would only use one pot for everything.
I would cook in it and eat out of it
it's wonderful yeah is that how you do it that's yeah that's wonderful yeah i only need i just get
what i need and then i use it and then i put it away and it's great damn you need some you need
some shit mixed up we gotta find we gotta find someone to move in with you some homeless guy
my life is so boring it's not boring it's just consistent and stable and it's great.
Where were you born, Bella?
Born in DC and my dad was military.
So we traveled a ton.
Okay.
Okay.
And do you have siblings?
I do.
I've got two younger brothers, an older sister, and then two stepsisters.
So there's a bunch of us.
Big family.
And did you play sports as a kid?
Yeah.
I was a swimmer my entire life.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Wow.
And now you're in San Diego.
That's kind of cool.
I got my first wetsuit yesterday.
Congrats.
I'm going to go surfing this weekend.
Thank you.
Who are you going with?
I don't know yet. Probably just people from the gym if I can find them.
And have you ever surfed before?
I've gone a couple times.
I'm not very good, but I think if I'm living here, eventually I'll get good, right?
Or I'm hoping so.
Yeah, that's awesome.
I'm so stoked for you.
Do you think San Diego is home home for you?
I hope so stoked for you. Do you think San Diego is home home for you?
I hope so. I think when it comes to home home, if it feels that way and it feels that I'm in the right place, I'm just going to trust that.
And then if it ever feels that I come here and it doesn't feel like home anymore, then I'm ready to go.
Like Austin for me, I lived there for a while, but when I would go home from trips, it didn't feel like home anymore.
I just kind of felt like I was going somewhere new. are you in north county it feels like home where are you in san diego point loma so so that's that's like down by the airport right yeah i'm 10 minutes from the
airport it's perfect um do you do you ever hear do you ever go up to north county like i haven't yet i've only been here only been here since christmas eve but i'm sure i will
you know explore more once i get back from waza i see where you are yeah
yeah san diego's got so many little micro communities.
Like up there in Encinitas is dope.
Yeah.
I mean, everything that I've heard is awesome.
There's that.
There's kind of like the PB community.
There's down in IB.
It's super military.
It's awesome.
It's all really fun.
What do you think about the people in terms of just the vibe, for lack of a better word the superficiality versus um austin you see a
little bit of difference honestly it's very i would say it's a little bit less superficial here
than austin which sounds crazy yeah i think austin became very much nashville and then i at least for
me right now i've only been about like kind of around the people that
are more similar to me but I'm sure if I go drive up a little bit north I'll find you know the
Californians that everyone talks about but Austin was Austin was getting pretty bad yeah it's great
it's crazy Matt Burns right the plastic people galore it's kind of crazy so if you go to plastic
people world it's cool because
there's no homeless people and there's no shit on the ground and you can leave your wallet out
on the table if you don't go to plastic world there's there's shit on the ground someone yeah
you need your taser you're like fuck can we go somewhere where there's not plastic people and not shit on the ground yeah it's it's a um
man it's a uh it's a tough mix in our in our sport what's the is the crossfit games um the
or are the crossfit games the the crown jewel of floor commentating is there a floor commentating
like okay you reach the pinnacle i've actually thought about that a lot um i don't know because i think
there's so many events that are so amazing i would say tori and pro is one of those events that is
oh yeah okay it's hands down next level it is so cool have you done tori that event
yes twice main event main event last day boys and girls oh my gosh this past year was so
much fun because the floor was completely open you know tia wasn't competing it was anybody's
game so it was so cool and i think that is one of those events that if the crossfit games is
is that way awesome i don't know yet but i it's hard i guess you know to answer the
question you haven't done the games you haven't done the games not yet not yet does someone have
that um taken is there just like one is that one person that's just had that and what's holding it
um i don't know i think they with crossfit it's very much You've been around forever You're here we're just going to keep bringing you back
And so it's hard to break in
But I don't think it's
You know out of the realm of possibility
It's just hard to break in
Well yeah
It's a trip right
There are these people
Who are really good and they're just staples
So you got somewhere
like um you got like uh um like the loan uh sean woodland like just just a staple he's there no
one's like hey he sucks or he needs to go everyone loves him solid it's quality it just adds so much
but then there's all these other then but then there's all these other then but
then there's all these other people who want to be in that space too and there is um and there's
politics and money and who's done what and who you know i'm not blaming any of those things either
i i'm not i'm not against uh who you know like if someone's an asshole and they're good, fuck them.
I don't want to put anyone in the assholes.
It's tough.
I think when there's so many people that want to do the same thing,
something you see often is there's people that are the staples,
the Sean Woodlands.
I think there was actually one point I tweeted that I want Sean Woodland to narrate my life.
He's like the Morgan Freeman
voice to me. It's so funny. But I think when it comes to all the other positions that are not the
ones that are, if this person's not there, it's a weird event and it's not the right vibe. I think
people are willing to do whatever it takes. They will lose friends. They might not even, you know, put in the best quality
work, but they'll figure out a way to get there. And it's really tough because I take it so
seriously. And I always want to put my best work there and say, I am proud of what I put out here
today. And I, you know, I'm not going to undercut anybody. I'm not going to, you know, try to do that. But you see that a lot. People
will just, they don't care. They're going to go get theirs. And it's, it's tough.
Meaning you, people by any means necessary will try to get some of these jobs and you're not
willing to do any means necessary. You want to stay true to who you are, but you're, but you,
but you are going to let your work speak for itself.
Yeah. It's a bit of that. I want to be respected for the work that I put in.
And I don't want people, you know, within this space to be like, she's like, she's here really.
You know, if I'm not meant to be at an event, that's totally okay.
Right.
But I'm going to be, if I am meant to be there, I know people are going to respect that i'm there right right you earned it yeah how many floor commentators do
they have at uh like it's something at torian um there's typically two or three on the main floor
so you guys are worked ragged and then it's hard but that's okay that's okay
yeah uh cave dastro uh she wouldn't sleep her way to the top i just figured out who
cave dastro is as a human because he said that you really for sure oh that's crazy yeah because
i've never known i've always wondered who that is when he
posts videos on his account are you just fucking with him or you really did figure out who that is
no like i'm i'm pretty sure i know who that is oh that's awesome cave yeah i that's funny that's
really funny and the answer is no uh the answer is no uh heidi krum unlike me yeah i would sleep
my way to the top too like in a second good for
you heidi god me too i'm fucking fuck me to death and take me to the top please that's funny
although i think good it's tough i think being a woman you know you don't want to
i don't know i don't want to get work because i'm a woman and i'm very vocal about that
i don't want to get work because i'm a woman right right right i don't want to get work because I'm a woman, and I'm very vocal about that.
I don't want to get work because I'm a woman.
Right, right, right.
I don't want to get a job because I'm a woman. I want to get work because people see me and say she's good at what she does.
And if there's a guy that does better than me, cool.
I want him to have that job.
I want him to get it.
I don't want anything special because I'm a woman.
Right, right.
I don't want anything special because i'm a woman right right do you i i don't really
it's it's funny that you say that because we're in a society where it's just like it's just open
right so like uh our governor of this state said hey when uh a senate seat opens i'm appointing a
woman so he appoint or like someone will be like, hey, there's a Supreme Court justice position open. I'm appointing a woman or they'll even tell you what color the person is going to be or whatever. Right. And you're just like, how the fuck is that? You want to be chosen based on your merit.
yeah that that makes total sense it wouldn't be fun either way the thing is too though too if if you sleep your way to the top i i think and you're not qualified you're not staying up there
no and i mean and i don't know you never know most of the guys in media are gay anyway you
probably couldn't sleep your way to the top in crossfit we're all a bunch of homos that's awesome
you guys aren't interested in us anyway.
Fuck no. Disgusting. Vagina
gross.
We're not done with this conversation.
Mike Halpin is very important, so I need to read
his shit. On the way announcers
can't pronounce names. Oh, that's my favorite
part. It's
because of the production behind them, not the announcer's job to find out how to say 300 names. Oh, that's my favorite part. It's because of the production behind them,
not the announcer's job to find out how to say 300 names.
Oh, interesting.
I disagree.
Okay.
I'll disagree with that.
I do think, yes, production should find out how to pronounce the names.
And when athletes are checking in, they should, you know, say,
hey, this is how I say my name.
If it's something different,
you know, but I also think it's up to me to know how to say it. My favorite story. There's a couple
in coming out of Torian pro their last name is tall Moina. That's one name again.
That is their last name. Good job saying that. Right. And so I see this name as I'm preparing for names
and I am blown away and I'm thinking, okay, I have to say this right. Every single time I have
to say this right. And especially, you know, people take pride in their names. And when people
say it incorrectly, especially at a semifinal level, it's disrespectful. And so I said their
name a couple of times, the wife, Rachel was competing and her husband ended up sending me
a message later and said, Hey, just wanted to let you know, thank you so much for saying
our native right. Thank you. And that to me, that's awesome. But every time I had to say it
in my head three times before i was saying it out
loud yeah and then now i see them at events fairly often and we're friends and they're great but it's
it's it's up to us too tauli full of mulatta you say it again which one is that's not the name that
i was saying it kind of oh moina oh wait wait, say it again. It's a little slower. It's crazy, right? Ta'u mua
fa'u muina.
Fa'u muina.
Yeah, it's crazy, but
that's her last name.
And if they're in,
you know, if they're at the games
or they're at a semifinal, say it right.
Ta'u mua
fa'u muina.
It's good. It's pretty good. Let, Fall Moo-ina. That's good.
Let me hear you do BKG's name.
I actually haven't had to announce for him yet.
Okay, hang on.
Let me pull it up.
Let me pull the name up.
Okay.
See, so I'm so proud that I have that one.
I just fucking slaughter names.
I refuse to.
Whatever the fuck Jelly Hostie's name is. I refuse to, whatever the fuck Jelly
Hostie's name is, I refuse to say it.
Because I'm so happy with Jelly.
And I love him, no disrespect.
I hope he wins the game, but he's
Jelly to me.
Bjorkvind Carl Gudmundsson.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, Bjorkvind Carl Gudmundsson.
I like to really...
Yeah, Gudmundsson.
You ever do the accents and stuff like I try. I sure do.
I try my best.
Look at, look at cave. Wow. Caves like trying to show off now. Jeez Louise.
Are you trying? That's cute. I like that.
Is that person courting you? You think is cave Astro courting you?
I think so. You really do know who that is. How?
I don't know. I go for two years. You really do know who that is? I don't know. This person's been on my show for two years.
I don't know who the fuck it is.
I either think I know who they are because they have a –
Insights?
An insight to a story that I've told them, or they're thinking of something completely different.
I don't think of you and I as having very many friends that intersect, which is weird because we are – You don't think so? I don't think of you and I as having very many friends that intersect, which is weird because we are,
I don't think so.
Cause,
but what's weird because we're,
I mean,
cause we're in the CrossFit community,
it's a small community,
but like,
I don't,
for some reason,
I just don't think my world crosses with your world.
Maybe it does.
And now it's just going to keep crossing.
Yeah.
That would be weird.
Yeah.
Uh,
uh,
Seve did great with some of the Caj cajun names she had to deal with our group at
masters fitness collective once he did great yeah yeah
yeah i love that i love it when people if i if it's not right tell me please i want to say it
correctly it's it's not about me it's about them so So just come up to you on the floor and be like, hey.
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Air Mile.
Hey, this is how I say my name.
Especially for an event like MFC,
where it's a lot harder because there's so many athletes
and it's not a lot of the, I don't know,
it's not a lot of the same names you always see.
Kaiike.
I have the comments pulled up,
but it's Wad Zombie's asking how you say Kaiike.
Oh, yeah. Kaiike Cervini.
Yeah. Yeah. Kaiike. Great guy. Great guy. Very nice. Yeah.
You think he's going to make it again this year? Or do you think that Guy comes back and just takes – there's only one spot from down there, right?
I hope Guy comes back i want to
see he's successful i think he's a great guy so uh burpee dude uh sebon does talk a lot of people
sleeping their way to the top at crossfit so you might not know who caved astros here's the thing
listen maybe not listen i'm just frustrated because i was part of the toxic culture and i
never fucking banged anyone there did anything inappropriate to anyone there never did like
hip to hip hugging or
never dirty notes
or I didn't even I didn't even I
didn't I got a one second rule with eye contact
with people hi
yeah I'm not even like
and I was part of the toxic culture and I
know a handful of people there who
sucked and fucked and which is
cool that I think that's fun stuff to do but I wasn't doing it i don't know how i was part of the toxic culture i wasn't even
trying to do it i wasn't even trying to do it maybe i should have been trying to do it you
ever you ever get in trouble for something that you didn't do and you're like fuck i should have
just done it um no but i think it's fun to like hear rumors and you're like, I didn't do that, but okay. If I did.
You ever get caught cheating?
No, no, no, no, no. Would you tell me if you did?
Yeah, I would tell you. I'd be like, I did this. I did this wrong.
I told you one story.
I know. Now I got to think of a good story. I don't know.
Okay. No, if you don't have, you don't, if you don't have a cheating story.
I don't know, but I'll just, I'll go, I'll
just go do it now. Yeah. I'll just go find someone. Just go cheat now. Um, uh, you think that, um,
uh, you, you said you had two, you grew up with two brothers and your dad was in the military.
How do you think that that, you think that makes you different than other girls?
Not really. My dad was in, was medical in the army. And so I don't think I makes you different than other girls not really my dad was in was medical in
the army and so i don't think i you know i grew up tougher than anyone i think it's just
i had two brothers a sister my dad was army moved around a lot it's just who i am but i'm very close
to my dad i would definitely say i'm a like father's kind of daddy's girl, for sure.
Were you tomboy?
A little bit, but I think coming when you live in Europe, you kind of adapt some of their fashion,
and I think European fashion is a little bit more tomboy anyway. So we're wearing like Sambas and
soccer shorts and t-shirts, but that's what everybody was wearing. But then you move to
the States and everyone's in Hollister and Abercrombie. So I just, I made the switch and I was just wearing
what everyone else was wearing. You're more cultured than most Americans, probably. I don't
know. I think at this point I get to do so much. So I get to experience more cultures, but it's
weird to compare and say, I am more cultured because there's probably people that have never
left the States that are probably more cultured than me anyway really i'm way more i'm way more cultured than like
than everyone i know really but that's cool though yeah way cool it makes me so much cooler
than other people yeah yeah like i'm way more cultured you go barefoot a lot um
you ever leave the house i don't leave the house barefoot i did go into a coffee shop barefoot a lot? Um. You ever leave the house barefoot?
I don't know.
I don't leave the house barefoot.
I did go into a coffee shop barefoot in Australia and it felt really weird.
But nobody looked at me funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's maybe, do you live in a building with floors?
Like are you up on a.
I live in a three floor building.
So that's just a three-floor walk-up.
It's pretty small.
Corey Leonard,
the thing Seve loves most about himself
is his humility.
You're a San Diego girl now.
I think that would make you cultured
if you went barefoot more.
Do you have homeless people outside
and needles and shit?
Have you seen any needles? I haven't seen needles there is one homeless guy that is he stands on
the corner every single day and he doesn't move like he's just on the corner and i think he is
so crazy that he doesn't actually know people are around him but he was gone the other day and i got
really nervous that he was gone because he hasn't left the corner oh like your motherly instinct yeah
wow i got really nervous that he was gone wow you are a good person uh does your building have
floors what the fuck you know what i mean like i'm trying to figure out why she doesn't go barefoot
like if it's just a one floor building she got it you like but for some reason when i think that
there's floors you don't go barefoot i'm not sure if it's a legitimate connection but do you feel
me on that?
Like the 10 story building.
I see why you put shoes on.
You got to get in the elevator.
You got to do shit.
But if like,
like me,
I never,
I'll leave the house all the time without shoes.
Why the fuck would I put shoes on?
I wear Birkenstocks.
That didn't make sense.
Oh,
wow.
Wow.
I want to like Birkenstocks so bad.
I can't stand the fact how they move around on the bottom of my feet.
I don't like flip flops.
Yeah. I don't like flip flops either.
That's why Birks are the way that I kind of,
I cross over.
Yeah.
Strap in the back or no strap in the back.
No,
no,
no,
no.
I got the fuzzy ones.
It's great.
Wow.
You have,
um,
uh,
the,
the other super trendy,
you have Uggs.
No,
I just have Berks.
Listen,
if you're a guy out there and you want to date Bella,
Oh no. This is what you have to do.
You have to buy her a pair of Uggs.
Why? Do I need Uggs?
If you want to be a cool California chick and they're really nice, once you put on Uggs, you never want to take them off.
I don't own any, but I bought my wife Uggs, and I think that was like – I think in the early years, that uggs.
That solidified your relationship?
You're good forever?
If he wants to get to your heart.
Okay.
Oh, man.
I'm listening.
Do you really know who this is?
I don't know.
This guy's really all about you. This is really...
I did this thing where I told people that I have the greatest throwing arm in the world, and I just went outside, and I took a ball, and I made a video, and I walked 60 feet away from a bucket, which is the distance from a mound in baseball.
And with one throw, I just – and I never throw, but I just – I'm great at stuff.
And I threw this baseball, and I hit the bucket in one throw.
This fucking asshole makes
a video but he you can't see his face he like wears a bag or something on his head so he hides
himself he walks 60 feet away and in one throw throws it into the bucket do you know how hard
it is to throw a baseball from 60 feet into a little fucking home depot bucket it sounds really
impressive so i am impressed yeah and then he did some crazy back
squat where he back squatted like 300 pounds for 10 reps or something but he's not a big he's not
like a fat guy he's just like a normal like 185 pound guy jeez i feel like i'm trying to sell him
to you we need cave on the show when you go like a mass hey and then nobody knows. We change the voice. What do we do?
And he's very generous with his money.
Like he'll – yeah, he gives a lot of money to the people in the podcast space.
Oh, look it.
It's leaky.
Cave looks potentially hot.
Yeah.
It's the cornrows for sure.
I really – oh, here, look it. I really like the idea of cave yeah see yeah look at just pimping
cave dastard out to bella martin some random dude with some fucked up weird name hey people come on
the show all the time bella and they think that's dave they're like oh that was really sweet how
dave was in show and i don't correct them i'm not like that's not dave that's cave that's not dave
yeah i don't tell it's gonna be going up to dave like that was not Dave that's Cave That's not Dave It's going to be going up to Dave
That was so nice of you for watching the podcast that I was on
So many nice comments
And he's just going to look at them and think
You're crazy okay sure
Wow
Bernie Gannon
You forget one throw no warm up
But also high velocity
For me or for Cave
My throw was one throw no warm-up but i think so
was his uh cave dastro money is an illusion look i just made five bucks just jerking them off on
the show i slept my way to that is five dollars you slept your way to the top here you go
look at this people are hyping you up i love this for for you. What a way to end your week.
Yeah, I have you on,
and then just pull up all the comments about me.
Try to set you up with my... Oh, look at you.
I just bring smart, overachiever,
pretty, really focused girls on the show,
and then try to set them up with my listeners.
Holy shit.
This is CrossFit.
Kenzie, I really...
I would have dated you in college,
or at least my wife would have brought you in in college or at least like my wife would
have brought you home uh savvy got a haircut looks nice very george clooney thank you
there you go it is nice salt and pepper vibes it's good what's the um uh what's the last time
when's the last time you got a haircut i'm actually getting a haircut today and how much
will that cost too much so i'm going i think it'll probably be don't stall
don't stall done probably 300 okay so probably so tell me so how close have you ever gone to
this lady before or this man no because i just got here brand new and who told you to go there
i found her on Instagram. Okay.
And what did you see that you liked about her?
I scrolled through all of her photos, and she does blondes.
And so in my mind, okay, she probably gets it.
She's a girl that gets it.
So I just assume.
I'm hopeful that I don't look like crazy going to Waterpalooza next week.
But worst-case scenario, i just have bright blonde hair best
case scenario look good okay so your hair looks really good right now thank you what is she going
to do she's just going to make it so it's more vibrant the color the blonde yeah just brighten
it up a little bit because i think it it looks better when all the lights are on it if you just
have brighter hair a little bit and then will she make it shorter at all?
Maybe a little bit,
but not much.
And that $300,
that's a deduction.
You get to keep that receipt.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
No way.
What?
I don't think so.
I don't think.
Yeah.
Who's your tax person?
You're,
you're out of your mind.
Oh,
our first fight. My first fight. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Our first don't think. Yeah. Who's your tax person? You're, you're out of your mind. Oh, our first fight.
My first fight.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll try it.
Okay.
I'll keep it and I'll send it to them.
I'll send it to them.
Listen,
you don't want to look beautiful.
You're a slave to it because of the,
um,
uh,
your job.
You'd rather just fucking shave your head bald and run out and sleep on the beach every
night.
But because of your job,
you have to get this weird shit done to your hair because you present in front of people look at oh shit heidi heidi of course she has a terrible
accountant dang heidi you want to come on you can be my accountant can i get my nails done too
haircuts will get you audited
oh see here's the problem now Now, Alpen agrees with me.
It's deductible, but you don't want to get audited.
Isn't it?
God, the game.
Taxes. I don't want to get audited.
No.
Alpen, who's your tax guy?
Can I get haircuts?
God.
Can I just bring you both with me?
It's God.
You read the Bible?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll get back to that in a minute.
Okay.
So you're going to go there.
You, you haven't met her before. Is it a salon or her house? It's a salon. I wouldn't go to
someone's house. I don't think I'm that old. Okay. And, um, Oh look, Paulina. Oh, I, do you
know Paulina is reputable? Thank you, Paulina. Do you know who that is? I mean, can I know nails,
hair? What can, what can we do? What are we working with? Uh, she has an accountant for you, Paulina. Do you know who that is? Can I? No. Nails, hair. What can what can we do?
What are we working with?
She has an accountant for you.
But anyway, if she contacts you on the side, I'll vouch for her.
I won't vouch for any of these other people.
I'll vouch for Paulina.
OK, so you're going to go there and you'll say what?
Tell me what you'll say to her.
Face trimming highlights, tip out the ends and tone it so it's warm but bright and then she'll just do it
She does and how long will that take?
Hopefully 90 minutes and would you pay her before or after?
I'll pay her after because I want to work out today. So I'm gonna go do that and then I'll go work out
Why not you're not worried that the working out will like mess your hair up like make it so whatever
she did do it won't let it sit in right like you'll sweat it out or some shit or i hope not
i'm not getting crazy colors if i was getting colors i probably wouldn't
like if i was going blue which i've done before i probably wouldn't work out afterwards blue don't
do blue i don't like blue so you'll love it was cute though so when I was
12 I think or maybe less than that there was a movie about a mermaid called aquamarine
and I told my grandma that I really wanted to look like the mermaid from aquamarine
so she took me to her old lady hair salon where all they do is just go all over color
because that's what the women
wanted because they're all 80 years old and so i was only supposed to have these really pretty
little blue streaks and i was 12 and then the lady washed it out and when's the last time you got it
and my what blue yeah oh like that was the only one time oh okay okay i'm going through your instagram
i'm like i don't see blue okay yeah i know no when i see blue i think you get hired because
you're a girl sorry i get triggered like that yeah no no i just wanted to um i wanted to look
like this cute mermaid yeah and they washed it out too, and my grandma was not happy about me leaving the house after that because I did not look presentable.
Do you have an agent?
No.
Look at Matt Souza.
A tax advice is just another perk of the Sebon agency.
We're taking applications if you need an agent.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Are you guys starting an agency?
There's so many in our space right
now agents yeah do you like them most of them yeah um uh has anyone ever sent you a dick pic
at one of the agents no okay no no we're good all right that's that that's a little spicy a little spicy easy sebi sebi's clearly run out
of questions what are you talking about the whole i was waiting till i've been i have that one ask
her about dick pics and i i'm asked it two minutes early i'm ahead of schedule what are you talking
about let's ask that at 125 or 123 okay so you're going to get the haircut and how much will the
haircut be it'll just be included in everything. So I think everything will cost like $300.
Okay, so it's not like it's $250 and you give her a $50 tip.
No.
I went to Supercut yesterday.
They did great.
They did super.
Looks good.
I got there at 9.
Okay.
There was no one.
No, I got there at 8.30. They open no one. No, I got there at 830.
They open at 9.
There was no one else there.
The app doesn't start taking appointments until 9.
So I have the app open, refreshing it, refreshing it, waiting for the lady to come.
9 o'clock comes around.
The lady's not there.
I make an appointment on the app, and the first appointment's at 10.
What'd you do?
Guy walks up to the door.
I said, hey, what's up? He said, hey, you got an appointment? I's up he said hey you got an appointment i'm like yeah you got an appointment he goes yeah i'm like what time he goes nine i'm like how'd you get
that he goes i called yesterday i'm like they don't take call-in appointments he goes for me
they do i go what's your name he goes luigi he looked like a luigi oh that's sick he has the
month at supercuts you can pay a monthly fee so you can get as many haircuts as you want.
So you just pay $20 a month, $19.99, and you can go in there.
You can get 200 haircuts.
You can get a haircut every day if you want it.
That's awesome.
And he's a bald dude.
So he should – does he get his head shaved every week?
I guess.
Or what are we doing?
So the door opens at like 9.05, and we walk we walk in and she's like come on and sit down
luigi i'm like fuck i say she goes do you have an appointment i go yeah for 10 she goes okay well
we people have already made appointments between now and 10 so uh come back in an hour i'm like i
can't my buddy greg glassman's in town i'm going to party with him. Need a haircut. So then she says, okay, my next appointment's not until 9.20.
So she finishes Luigi at 9.17.
She goes, hurry up.
Sit in the seat.
So I run and jump in the seat.
And she cuts my hair.
And I had this fuck.
I look crazy.
I looked crazy.
Here, let me show you real quick.
I know this show's about you, but this show's about me. You're here to help me show you what let me show you real quick. I know this shows about you, but
That shows about me you're here. You're here to help me talk about me. Thank you. I'm here for you
I like this. You're a giver. Let me show you this picture
this is um
This is what I this is what I look like can you see that
That's long
Yeah
So, okay. So so she cuts it off. She goes you really want to cut it off That's long. Yeah.
Okay.
So she cuts it off.
She goes, you really want to cut it off?
I go, yeah.
So she cuts it all off, and I get out of there, and it's $18.
How long did it take?
20 minutes.
And the choices are 15% tip 18, 20, and 22% Okay
And then custom
And then custom
Okay
How much do you think I should have tipped her?
At least 5 bucks
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I don't know what percentage that would be but at least 5
Yeah
Remember she took me before the guy
I was only
I was scheduled to go at 10 Right She took me before the 9 20 guy that guy got fucked because
of me sorry bro well if he wasn't there at 9 17 then he's kind of late you should arrive early
yeah uh tip her the 18 yeah so here's the thing i wanted wanted to tip her 20, but I tipped her 15 15 or 15 dollars 15 dollars
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it's very nice 18 dollar haircut pretty cheap
18 are very cheap and it looks good gave me cuts and gave me cuts in line. Uh
pretty nice I'm glad you said five so I gave her three times
what you think I should have gave her that's good
I'm a big tipper I like to tip
good
probably not for the right
probably not for the right reasons I probably tip big
because I want them to think I'm cool
not because I really like them you know what I mean
I probably tip for the wrong reason
but it's still tipping.
That's fine. It doesn't matter.
Still going somewhere else.
You tipped for 75% of Dave Castro's
membership amount. Look at it that way.
There you go.
Do you wish you did have a boyfriend?
Not really. Not right now.
No. You're not like... you weren't sitting there last night like
watching tv i'm like fuck i wish i had a boyfriend no way yesterday i went worked out in the afternoon
with my friends went to lunch went and bought a wetsuit watched the sunset on the beach and then
i came home and i went to bed i can't imagine doing it differently yesterday. Yeah.
So you're a good life and you're,
and you're comfortable in your world,
in your body and who you are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think I have like,
I would say I probably have the world's greatest friends.
So I'm never really lonely.
If I want to,
you know,
if I want company,
I've got great friends.
So being single is the greatest.
Yeah.
God, you sound healthy.
You either sound healthy or crazy.
I think I'm healthy.
My therapist would say I'm healthy and I only see.
Oh, you have a, you have a therapist.
Just once a month.
Just checking in.
Yeah.
What's that like?
Tell me what that's like.
Where are they?
She's just virtual.
So it's awesome.
It's fun. I'll go. we'll have, like once a month,
I'll just say, okay, I should just debrief with someone
that doesn't know everything about my life
so that I can share things.
And then if there's, you know, I don't know, just talking.
Just talking to someone that doesn't have
an emotional attachment to you is really healthy
because then they can tell you
if you're doing something wrong or if you're doing something completely right and it sounds good
and I always you know I know I actually haven't had a revelation in therapy yet
I enjoy just talking to people and it's it's nice to have someone that is not it's not their job
in life to say you're really great you're doing good. If I wasn't doing good, she would
be the one to tell me. So it's a girl. Does she dig? If there's something to dig, but I think my
life right now is very balanced. And so there's not a whole lot of digging to be done would she ever say anything to you like
hey do you want to have kids someday probably yeah she'd ask if that was a topic yeah yeah yeah
i wonder if she has a topic i wonder if she prepares for you like you prepare for like
going to torian oh probably maybe i don't know i don't think she stalks my instagram
but i mean by that i I mean... That's good.
By that, I mean if you said something
in one therapy session,
I wonder if she takes a note
and then she's like,
okay, I'm going to let that slide,
but I'm going to bring it up in the next one.
You ever feel her feeling around
doing her therapist shit?
Not really.
She told me I won once. We wrapped up the call and she's you just won today and i don't really remember what
we were talking about but i remember i think i texted my friends afterwards and said guys
helen said i won today i don't know i don't really think oh ellen's your therapist her name's helen
helen okay yeah I know her.
You know, when she said you won, what she meant was is after every therapy session,
she spins a wheel to see how much she's going to charge you and your arrow landed on free.
That's what she said. Oh, great.
That's so good.
You won.
Congratulations.
I'll see you next month.
Yeah, no, it's great.
Exactly.
You're doing great, sweetie.
That's Helen.
Now, I might as well just start talking to you more.
Does, um, um, does, um, do you, have you ever met Andrew Hiller in person?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Where?
At Zalos Games.
It's the first time we met.
And I would think it was his first time head judging, like, a competition, too.
So it's fun.
Were you the floor commentator at the Zalos Games?
I sure was.
I think I did know that.
Yeah. We worked together.
You
I think you told someone
that I did great.
He said I did great. Let's go.
Yeah, that's cool.
We worked together.
You think there's a cross? You think you'll ever switch
to
instead of being there for the people in the stadium, you'll be there for the people at home?
I would like that very much.
What's that look like?
It looks – I actually did sideline this year in Madrid and at Down Under, and it's so much fun.
It's a lot more work, and it's a little bit more journalism style than anything.
So, you know, we picked athletes that we wanted to talk to,
but then, and having those questions prepared for them,
not, oh, you know, you're not competing.
How does it feel?
But hey, you know, I know your family means a lot to you.
How do you hope to inspire your kids?
And then they start crying.
And that's cool. That's
human experience. And then also watching people on the floor and then also knowing things about
them already, bringing those into the conversation, not just you did really fast again. That's
awesome. Good for you. Fitness for time, making it a lot more about them as people. So I I'll
enjoy that a lot and hopefully i'll get to
do that more your back is massive i can't believe you found a sports bra that fits you
me no no i'm just saying that's what i said thank you i know isn't that great if you're
a crossfit girl you're like oh my god thank you thank you he said my back but it matters though
no i'm just thinking i was just thinking that's
why i would i wouldn't last in that job that's what i'd say to someone i'd be like oh my god
it's fun though like and that's the thing they kind of almost want to talk about it i was talking
to a woman in australia and she goes i we were talking about it and she's a master's athlete
but she was competing on elite teams and she goes yeah, yeah, I've got biceps bigger than Chandler Smith, and she's flexing for me.
And I ate that up.
I loved that.
That was so funny and so good.
So if I had said it to her, she probably would have been totally cool with it.
The bodies are nuts.
I was preparing to interview Kyra Milligan.
I think that's who that is, last night.
And I had to postpone it, but
what an absolute
freak
of nature. The people's
bodies in our cohort
are just, like, you could just stare at them forever.
We need a CrossFit zoo.
That's probably not popular, but
where we just put them in cages and we get to drive
through the park
and look at their bodies isn't that kind of like the vendor village at the games when athletes go
have to do their you know meet and greets with their sponsors yeah that's true after they work
out it's crazy it's it's absolutely nuts what happens to their bodies they're just like like
alex gazan after like some sort of workout
you can't even believe it's the same alex gazan you saw at the beginning of the workout
just pumped up do you have a favorite body you have like someone you're like i just can't i can't
even believe your body oh um i would say in terms of aesthetics, Emily Lugman has probably the most beautiful body I've ever seen.
She's stunning.
Emily Lugman.
Yeah.
Spell her last name.
E-M-I-L-Y.
Yeah.
And then Lugman.
L-O-O-G-M-A-N.
I think she's absolutely stunning.
Is she a CrossFitter?
Mm-hmm.
She's on Team Invictus.
Her husband coaches. Oh. Oh, yeah,us her husband coaches oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah i fucked fucking a she's stunning yes yeah yeah and then she hangs out with this
other girl who's fucking so ridiculously hot too um jesse jesse's gorgeous as well uh or laws
they're all beautiful i mean they're all white white they're all gorgeous. White girl who has kids, I think.
Who's that? Liz?
I'm trying to find a picture of the two of them together.
I used to feel like I always saw them.
I used to always see them together.
Now I don't see her at all.
Yeah, this girl looks like she's a movie star.
Right? She's gorgeous.
Yeah, this girl is a movie star. I? Yeah. She's gorgeous. Yeah.
This girl is a movie star.
I don't see.
Yeah.
What is she?
Is she half Asian or what is she?
Half Japanese.
Wait, is this her?
Let's see.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That girl has a perfect.
Is that not mom goals?
Like when I have a child, I want, this is, I want, she's my mom goals.
That's what I want to be.
What's the other girl that she's always oh look and she got a hot dude, too
That's her dude. Yeah, that's
Yeah, that's her husband. Yeah, he's smoking
Yeah, where's this girl that she's always just like a gorgeous couple. You don't know the blonde girl i'm talking about
She's an invictus too. I'm talking about laws
No, I think I would know
I think I would know. L-O-Z. I think I would
know her name if I...
I mean, I would say they all have just...
Oh, this girl! This girl!
Yeah! What's her name?
Laws.
L-O-Z.
That's crazy I didn't know her name. Yeah.
That's okay. Yeah.
No, but between all of them it's i think
it's inspiring to you know do fitness and know that you can actually look like that and people
see that and it's that's awesome look at lost stalwart cave noser exactly yeah for fuck's sake
savvy what what i'm just what just figuring it out to get don't get defensive because because i'm
i'm it's i'm not on the flow
with your girlfriend he's very defensive with you today he's feeling very protective with you
bella it's okay thank you at least he contributed to your podcast i like um what about the boys i
think the boy i think fukowski has a pretty fucking ridiculous physique because he's so tall
yeah and he's got he's just always he's he's all the
muscles and in corner stuff i also like bkg's body i put like um i like him like he could be
in a james bond movie they're very different though yeah very different very different i
like ricky gerrard's body a lot i think he's getting a little too big though i like a more
skinny hungry uh ricky gerrard have you seen jake douglas lately
oh my god to him at the games well him at the games to him at down under
crazy transformation bigger or smaller smaller very lean he looks great something happened at right like he heard it back he heard it back yeah yeah i like jason hopper's body a lot too
because it's the guy next door kind of look he looks like you'd go to a barbecue and you'd be
like yeah that's my neighbor yeah holy shit he's built like superman yeah but he's he's lost i
don't know if he's lost a lot of weight But he's leaned down
And he looks phenomenal
So I was excited for him to compete
At Down Under to see how he performs
As a leaner athlete versus
On the heavier side
But he was injured so he didn't get to compete
But we'll see him again soon
Yeah that was a lot of man to lug around
That he had at the games
It's hard
That's heavy
this could be a show just critiquing uh bodies
oh that'd be funny what's crazy we're highlighting what's crazy is they're all
tens the worst fucking pile of shit out there's a 10 so it's like it's like what are you gonna do are you they all look great how are
you gonna let's place this up um uh so so um are you going to church in um san diego i haven't
found one yet but i'm sure once i get back from miami i'll just jump in with some friends and see
how it sounds and is that going to be part of your routine in san Diego church? I'd like it to be. Yeah. I'd like it to
be, but, but it might not fall into the hierarchy. Well, it's tough if I'm not here on Sundays,
then I'm not here on Sundays and competitions are on Sundays. Do you think your dad wants you to do
it? Oh, my parents don't, they don't really care as much about religion, which is okay.
How did you find religion? I was in college and i was thinking there's got to be more to life than what's happening here
there's got to be a reason for it there's got to be a purpose for it that is above what i understand
and so i kind of i stumbled into it and it's funny i think in texas you get a lot of
kind of woo-woo so there's a lot of phenomenal churches. And then
there's a lot of really crazy ones. And I think the crazy ones, sometimes people, they think that's
what it is. They think that's what Christianity and faith is. And I, you'll love this. I went to
one and I never actually went back to it. I walked in the doors, a woman I've never met in my entire
life comes up to me and she goes, you were in my dream last night. And in my mind, I'm thinking, no shot. I wasn't,
you don't know me. No, I wasn't. And she goes, yeah, you were my dream last night. You were like
a cheerleader and God was on the sidelines and he was cheering for you. And he was the only one
cheering for you. And I never went back to that church wow cuckoo bananas
wow wow crazy oh in this show we call it crazy town banana pants someone called me that one time
crazy town banana pants yeah yeah wow i call it banana land crazy it's that to me i was like i
can't this is not this is not where i need to be absolutely not i think for every crazy thing
like that i thought you were gonna be like oh shit this chick fucking nailed it that is what
i do i'm a cheerleader for crossfit people and that's what i do on the floor and oh my god
no no no you weren't gonna let it catch up i was like dude who? What? I was not in your dream last night.
No.
You ever have any friends who are really into meth?
You have any meth head friends?
I don't think I have any friends that have done meth.
You are so cultured.
I'm so much more cultured than you.
Holy.
Yeah.
I don't think any of my friends have done meth.
I think the guy downstairs might do some meth. He he used to um yeah the i had friends who were into
meth and the bible it was it was wild oh my gosh yeah they were always on meth and reading the
bible um oh look look at this if you want to try some my uncle made that
uh hey i wouldn't that that way you got into the church reminds me of it's more of a guy thing i
don't hear girls i didn't know girls really did that i know that sounds so uncultured of me that
they're like yeah i wonder what the meaning of life is. Yeah. That seems like some, so 22 year old boy, like my life's unraveling shit. Was your life unraveling
a little bit? Like, were you frustrated? No, not really. I think, I don't know. I think
it's a universal experience that everybody wonders if there's more to life and some people will find
that they have that own self-reflection.
And then some people find that in groups, you know,
some people will kind of collect that and they're like, Oh, you know,
my friend's doing this. I'm going to go do that with them.
And then they'll jump in and then they find something that they weren't
necessarily looking for,
but eventually they would have had that same revelation that there's just got
to be more to life.
Eventually they would have had that same revelation.
That there's just got to be more to life.
Do you – for some reason, I think that the revelation you have with the group isn't valid.
That's really harsh.
That's fair.
That's really harsh. I think it's not it might be harsh but it's a fair
statement like the journey to the truth is a solo journey yeah your own truth but couldn't someone
encourage you to say hey go go seek this out oh yeah you don't yeah if you're not ready for it
you could say i guess maybe i'll try yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure
for sure and and why do you go to church why would you like to go to church to be around those kind
of people those values or yeah and i think there's community in it i think it's good community and
sometimes you go to churches you like the message and the community is not for you and that's
totally okay sometimes it's the opposite sometimes you like the message and the community is not for you. And that's totally okay.
Sometimes it's the opposite.
Sometimes you like the people,
but the way the pastor preaches the message isn't for you.
You kind of pick and choose and you explore.
I think you can find a balance.
If the community is really good
and the message is typically good,
you've probably found some good people
and a good community to be around.
But you don't have to. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
And you go, you know, it's, you know, you do anything.
And if it doesn't feel right, don't force it.
Just go find something else.
Why are you going to do it though, to stay close to the word of God?
Do you believe that there is God? Is that why?
Yeah, I believe in God. And I think,
but I also don't think I necessarily have to go to church to feel God's presence or to deepen that connection. I think you find that on your own
time and, you know, doing things that make you feel closer to God. Sometimes it's going to church.
Sometimes it's sitting alone in silence and just thinking, or it's driving and you just,
you feel peace, you feel presence. Some people feel that through church.
Some people don't. Um, if I find a church here where I feel that way, that's awesome. If not,
that's okay too. Cause I'm, again, I'm not around a lot of Sundays, so I wouldn't really,
you know, I can't really tie myself to it much.
Um, uh, notice how she didn't go there for the community i don't know maybe she did i thought
did maybe she does go there for the community do i go there for the community i i know the reference
uh i don't know i think if someone says oh my community here is really really great
and they're trying to really force you and bring you in they might be in a cult
you never know like the girl that was trying to tell me you and bring you in, they might be in a cult. You never know.
Like the girl that was trying to tell me
that she saw me in a dream.
Everybody says the people there were so nice
and she was very nice.
Also kind of spooky.
Yeah.
Hey, how often do you think she says that to someone?
You think that's her go-to line once a month?
You know, I don't know. I think there's her go-to line once a month you know i
don't know i think there's people that think they're like prophets of god and a lot of times
you see them standing on the corner but sometimes you see them in church who knows andrew thinks
he's a prophet of crossfit oh is he the prodigal son i don't know but he seems to be right about
a lot of shit it's true maybe he just has an in that we don't know about he seems to be right about a lot of shit true maybe he just has an in that
we don't know about like he'll make a video and then a year later be like i told you guys look
at it and then he shows you the old video you're like oh shit you did you did say that you did say
that either that or he can read trends really well or he's just really smart either way i'll
give him the credit for it all right um what would be the move to getting on live broadcast as opposed to in stadium?
Are you sure you want to do that?
Currently in the works.
Is the grass greener on the other side? Maybe the grass isn't greener.
I don't think the grass is greener. I think the grass is green where you water it.
But I think the grass is green both ways.
By no means would I say I don't want a floor in us.
I love it.
It's so much fun.
But I also find a lot of joy in doing broadcast.
And so finding opportunities where I can do broadcast, which is also tough because not
a lot of events have the money to bring on a full broadcast team.
But finding opportunities to do that, working with
people that I've been able and been very fortunate with to work in the broadcast space so far,
they've been very supportive of me saying, hey, I want to explore what it looks like to do sideline.
All of them have said, okay, let's go, let's get you in, let's do this. And so I think,
you know, I'm of the mindset where if the doors are continuing to open, continue opening the
doors and going through them. But if you get to a point where, hey, you're, I'm of the mindset where if the doors are continuing to open, continue opening the doors and going through them.
But if you get to a point where, hey, you're not getting any further and you keep facing the same challenge and hearing the same thing over and over again, you're probably trying to do the wrong thing.
You're probably trying to open the wrong door.
Do you watch any other sports?
I love sports completely.
I'm actually going to a hockey game tonight.
Oh, and so do you
study that too like if you're like not as much not as much um oh you watch any sports on tv
i actually don't have a tv right now but i'll watch football on tv funny enough i'll watch
swimming when it's on tv i eat that up i think it's so fun. I'll watch anything. I think sports are really enjoyable to watch.
UFC's got great commentators.
Oh, yeah.
And they're loud.
They're loud.
They're aggressive. They're passionate, but they
have to be. You have to pick and choose your
personality for whatever
sport you're doing because it matters.
They tried to...
All their people are inbred in their own shit, right? It's all like former fighters. All the comment because it matters they tried to they they have and all their people are inbred
in their own shit right so it's all it's all like former fighters all the commentators and they tried
to switch to like espn commentators and the crowd would not have it everyone's like fuck you they
suck i feel like crossfit's the same way too like like if you're not immersed in this shit like
like people sniff that shit out people sniff it out and they're like why are you only
here once a year do you actually really care about us do you do anything within the community
during the year yeah do you actually like us or are you just using us as a paycheck people sniff
that out immediately okay look at judy saying some smart shit grass is greener where you water it
thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I love that.
Well, you skipped your way straight to the top by being on,
what's the name of Pedro's show, The Game Show?
Coffee Paws and Wads.
I don't know what the name of The Game Show was.
The Game Show has a name.
Oh, The Whiteboard.
Around The Whiteboard? Circle The Whiteboard? Yeah. Around The Whiteboard? Yeah. name the game show was the game show has a name oh the whiteboard around the whiteboard around
the whiteboard yeah around yeah you see like around whiteboard yeah you went straight to the
premier uh game show in the space i'm honored did you get any good feedback from that um
not necessarily feedback but people watch it and i think it's funny when i go on podcasts or i do
things i don't expect my friends to watch it but then they'll it's funny when I go on podcasts or I do things, I don't expect
my friends to watch it, but then they'll tell me that they watched it or they're listening to me in
the car. I'm like, I'm listening to you as I'm driving. And I think that's really fun. And it's
their way of supporting me, even though I don't do what they do or, you know, they don't do what
I do. They're still supporting me. So I think it's fun. You go, you go on small podcasts. I
refuse to go on a podcast. Yeah. Why do on small podcasts. I refuse to go on a podcast.
Yeah.
Why do you do that?
I refuse to go on a podcast.
It's smaller than my podcast.
Fuck you.
Don't.
Why not?
People want to have a chat.
Let's have a chat.
Really?
You have really good conversation.
Yeah.
I think you have really good conversations when people say,
Hey,
I just want to talk to you.
I don't care if you have five followers or 5 million followers.
Let's have a good conversation.
I've been on some podcasts that were not great. That had, I don't care if you have five followers or 5 million followers, let's have a good conversation. I've been on some podcasts that were not great.
That had,
I don't even actually know how many followers they had,
but they kind of presented it like it was,
they had a lot of followers and the conversation was very stale and it was
tough.
And I've been on podcasts that have had no followers and the conversation is
amazing.
I know who did that.
Like,
you know who caved Astrid is. I know who presented that. Like, you know who Caved Astro is.
I know who presented to you.
Probably.
Yeah, that they had a lot.
That's always.
So isn't that weird?
I make that superficial statement that I don't want to go on a podcast that doesn't have more listeners than mine or more followers than mine.
But that being said, if someone opened with that, like, hey, I want you to come on podcast.
You get a lot of attention.
I will be like, fuck you. I don't need you yes god i'm a very complex learning thing
yeah i'm a complex human being it's okay but i think you also it's time it's it if you're going
to go on a podcast it's two hours of your time and if it's not going to be worth those two hours
of your time where you could go do something else especially for you you could go have your own show and have someone on for two
hours and benefit from it it means a little bit more for me i've always got i've got the time
i've talked to anybody i'm going on pedro's chat i'm going on pedro's podcast today in um three
hours but only because i have the behind the scenes out now and i want to promote it but that's a good thing yeah it's a great cross promotion i want to read something to you
and you want you to tell me if this is inappropriate okay okay uh bella needs to get
bella sorry bella you need to need to get you on my podcast
for some reason
that feels very inappropriate to me
I'm nervous
but here's the thing
in my mind
if it's who I think it is
then okay
but now I don't know
and now I'm second guessing it because
yeah who knows who it is because that guy wouldn't say that the guy you thought it was
right yeah right yeah because the next podcast i'm on everyone's like oh is that cave we'll find
out i don't know yeah when what is the next podcast you have scheduled after this one
um i don't know i'll probably do some things
in miami for wadapalooza some you know chats about the days and things like that i enjoy those
so probably something out there nothing this weekend um uh my buddy uh taylor self will be
out there he's a bald dude we call him the thumb affectionately um should i should i introduce
myself hi i'm bella i've heard you're the thumb yes yes yes if you should i introduce myself hi i bellow i perjured the thumb
yes yes yes if you would say hi to him that would make me so happy yeah i can do that yeah i'll do
that that's easy hey thank you so much for coming on uh you're you're yeah you're you're quite the
uh you're quite the person i i sense a overachiever and success just oozing off of you so thanks for
giving us time, man.
I'll come on anytime.
All right.
Maybe we could go on Pedro's and we can battle it out on the whiteboard.
That'd be fun.
Oh yeah.
I could try to end our friendship,
but I would,
I that'd be okay because I knew what you're trying to do,
you know?
All right.
That's the only way I'd go on there.
Okay.
I would want to. And the reason why is because if he's going to take the time to do
the show and invite me on there, I want to perform
for him and give him the best possible.
And I think that's what the audience would want. They would want
to see me try to behead someone.
Yeah. Maybe
we team up and we'll pick a third person
that we are ready to go.
Behead them.
I like it.
Alright, girl. Thank you for coming on. Very nice to meet you. I look forward alright girl thank you for coming on
very nice to meet you
I look forward to running into you again
I hope so
alright ciao
bye
Bella Martin
easy peasy
don't let him near your luggage.
Oh shit.
Cave walking it backwards.
It was a joke, but only in the sense that I don't have a podcast.
Oh.
Oh.
God, I have such a dirty mind.
I have a mind that leads to procreation.
I am. I'm doing a show today it's weird i'm really annoyed that i have to do a show that i have to like hang out um um at noon that's in three hours
uh i've never heard someone be oh is that what i should have asked her if she's gay i've never seen someone beat around the bush so much just to say three words are you gay i didn't get that vibe
from her but i don't know i can't tell i don't know what's going on But fuck, I don't know.
I can't tell. I don't know what's going on.
I don't know that kind of stuff.
Oh, we felt the same way about the Khaleesi
when Seve interviewed her.
Oh, why? Did someone... Oh, that she's gay?
Does Seve's haircut make his nose look bigger
cave dastro i don't want her to cave
dastro i don't want her to be gay
all right i have to
be uh in three hours and
four minutes unless unless i cancel
i feel like canceling
i definitely want to cancel
Oh, that's funny.
Listen, I just got a text message from someone saying,
the UPS package has arrived at the warehouse and cannot be delivered. Copy the link in the safari browser why the fuck would i do that
god that doesn't you want to see the link that it is god this looks this looks so sketchy.
God, this looks so sketchy.
The UPS package has arrived at the warehouse and cannot be delivered due to incomplete.
Confirm your address in the link within 24 hours.
What do you mean confirm your address?
It just took me to fucking UPS.
Caller, hi.
Dude.
Hey. What's up?
Don't open. Are you crazy?
What? Open that? Open the...
It says U-S...
No. No. It's a scam.
Enter your tracking number.
You think... So let me show you.
Total scam, dude.
But it took me to UPS.com. Don't, so let me show you. You think this is, so you think. Total scam dude. But it took me to ups.com.
Don't do it.
All right.
Fine.
What are the chances though that I applied a claim today and then got this today too?
It's pretty weird.
I guess if they fish, you put out enough of them, it's bound to happen.
Yep. Yeah, it goes bound to happen. Yep.
Your haircut is good, bro.
Oh, thank you.
It's awesome.
Emily likes it.
Emily who?
Kaplan.
Oh.
How do you know?
You talk to her?
No. She posted a story
with your haircut
with Craig
oh
oh
oh
oh
where are you
at the gym
in between classes
yep
no I'm home
in between classes
having lunch
I just
I just I finished up that little blurb for the L1.
Oh, you did?
Did you send it to me?
I'm going to send it right now.
Oh, that's cool.
I want, cause we've already started releasing them.
I wonder if they can still edit it in either.
Yeah, fuck it.
I'm sure they can.
Hey, so Will and Rios are making like that.
It looks like I still have a little bit of a man
bun but i don't um uh rios and will are just editing editing those in just in real time as i
forward them awesome i shaved my beard um short too so that i would like it would be like i really
wanted it to be like a dramatic change so i shaved my i used the philip one and shaved it pretty short it's dramatic all right my wife
yeah good because my wife was like smiling at me
last night i was like oh she hasn't smiled at me like that in a long time
you weren't wrong when you said you were so giddy at the games.
I was so happy for you. Like when you were interviewing Sager and holy cow, dude.
Good for you.
Oh, you mean in the behind the scenes, you could tell I was giddy?
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Okay, good.
You could tell like everyone giving you love and oh man i was so i was like smiling when i was
watching it not to sound you know lame but no that doesn't sound i like it i want i like smiling
nah that was great man you gotta do it again everyone subscribe everyone do the full membership
everyone get the money so we can go again next year yeah yeah oh the subscriptions are great
by the way.
People have been so generous.
I'm killing it.
You know what's crazy?
I want to tell you something crazy.
You ready?
Don't tell anyone this.
All right.
Two things.
I was supposed to do 300 air squats for time yesterday because Jeffrey Birchfield did it,
and he got a great score.
And I think he said he got 247 or 257
or something so I was supposed to do it too and I didn't do it so I have to do that but this is
what I was gonna this is what I mean this this is what's nuts if I if if if CrossFit let's say
six months before the games last year would have been like hey we want to hire you to do oh 242
yeah I need i'm gonna do
it today jeffrey i know i left you hanging yesterday you know it's funny as i was talking
to my bed and uh and wife with my bed last night about that so that we were naked just laying there
and i'm like oh fuck and she goes what i'm like i came in you she goes no you didn't and i go no
i'm just joking uh i forgot to do the workout with Jeff.
So there you go.
I worked you into my nighttime bit, Jeffrey.
So I, if CrossFit would have hired me six months before the games, right?
And just been like, hey, we want you to do this thing where you film the behind the scenes and we're going to put it behind the paywall.
We're going to do memberships and you can be in charge of the whole thing
and we're going to give you $500,000, right?
I would have already fucking made them back that money
and they would have gotten all the community horsepower
and they would have started up a membership program.
I mean, it would be nuts.
Now, I'm glad they didn't.
And they probably didn't because there was no one there with the with the with the foresight.
But what this behind the scenes is doing for this channel and all the people sort of in my ecosystem and what it's done for me with the memberships and what it's going to do for the traffic and what it's doing for the traffic and just the validity and relevancy it's given me it's nuts and and i it's one final thing and i say this with complete and utter fucking humility no one else could do
this besides me like not everyone's replaceable and so um uh it's just crazy like i'm thankful
for the opportunity but part of me feels guilty because it's like if they Like I'm, I'm thankful for the opportunity, but part of me feels guilty. Cause it's like,
if they would have had like a chief marketing officer or a media guy or
just someone they could have,
or just tucked in their ego,
I could have.
Yeah.
But,
but the window closed now,
now it's like,
it's gotten weird.
Well,
the thing is like with the buttery bros and,
and I'm thankful.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
With those guys. With those guys, yeah.
With those guys, they'll do a pseudo behind the scenes.
Yeah.
But it'll be way too current.
You kept it old school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just a completely different...
Theirs is fun and polished.
Mine's just a fucking yearbook.
That's what it is.
It's a yearbook.
But, man, it's a yearbook but man it
it's gonna last the test of time and um and by the way that's why i put all those l1 commercials
and that's why i'm doing the open because i want to pay crossfit back like heavily
for the opportunity they've given me i want them to know like i'm not taking it lightly
growl could have pulled this off oh right you dickheads i want to i want to ask you a question
there's no way anyone else could have pulled it off hey and not only they couldn't they not pulled
it off i only reason why i pulled it off is because the i'm i'm surrounded i i'm part of
this group that's this amoeba where we all work together and uh and i couldn't pull like it's
because it's because i have a bigger media i'm
part of a bigger media team than what crossfit has and that's the only reason why i was able
to pull it off okay go ahead so is this the official behind the scenes crossfit games 2023
uh videos are these the official ones through CrossFit?
Like, just sanctioned by CrossFit?
I don't know, but it is weird that this will not live on their site.
It would be the biggest historic piece made ever that's not on their site.
So, in that regard, it's kind of weird.
Only reason why I'm saying that Is because at the end of the credits
If you go all the way through
It scrolls up the Sevan podcast
And I was wondering
How that works
At the end of the credits
You list everyone
And then it rolls up and it says the Sevan podcast
Yeah
So I was wondering
No it's not official They're not like hey Sevy you can use the word and make it the the Seban podcast. So I was wondering No, it's not official.
They're not like, hey Sebi, you can use the word
and make it the official Seban. No.
But anyone who thinks
it's not is out of their fucking mind.
Right.
I mean, there's no
convincing me. If I see a fucking giraffe
no one can be like, hey, that's a bear.
I know it's a giraffe. Like, sorry.
We all know what it is.
Well, Dave said if you want to see it.
And that's because of CrossFit.
I'm not taking credit for that.
It's because the access CrossFit gave me and what I'm capable of.
It's 49% me, 51% them.
When do you start rolling the gears for next year?
I'm so excited already.
I have something so interesting. I have something planned.
I haven't even told them yet
for Wadapalooza that
I'm so fucking excited about that involves
Colton Merton and the individual
and Ricky Mack,
Jason
Hopper and the great
future champion of CrossFit,
Dallin Pepper, that I'm so excited about we're gonna
do some we're doing something that i don't think has ever been done before and so i'm super excited
about that and then that'll kind of be a test run and then i'm even more excited because fucking
dylan the guy who fucking runs wadapalooza is going to be running the semi-finals in la and
then we'll go out there and we'll do it behind the scenes there and
then start ramping up
for the games and then I got to jump through all the hoops
again right
yeah I got like I don't know like
like who knows I have such a
big mouth maybe they've already decided that they're not
going to ever let me come back to the games again I don't know
but
or maybe or maybe they're going to say maybe
they're going to tell me they're going to like they They're gonna say like hey we saw how successful you are
We're gonna have someone else do it
You're out
Which would be fine too
I'm actually okay with whatever
Either way it's gonna be exciting for me
Well it's either you have all access or not
So it can't be anything between
Yeah and dude CrossFit gave me crazy access
Last year but
what i'm saying is is they may they may see this like if i work if i work at crossfit and i don't
know better i would be like holy shit he's absolutely fucking murdering it let's just
bring someone let's just do this ourselves and they're gonna hire someone and think that they're
gonna do it but it's not gonna happen but. But they're not going to be able to.
I'm going to tell you one more fucking crazy thing that's really true.
That is so much fucking work doing that and being there.
And I didn't see, I'm not saying there weren't, but I didn't see one person working as hard as me.
I'd give fucking Heber Cannon a second place.
Maybe he did work harder than me.
But then other than that that there's no one
even in this there's no one even who made it to the 50 yard line and what does that mean that
means i'm just always rule i'm i'm from the second i touch ground there to the second i leave i'm
fucking either going out of my way i'm pushing myself to try to talk to someone and film someone
until i die and and that's what you have to do and there's no one even doing 25% of that The only person I ever saw like really hustling
Was Heber Cannon
That motherfucker goes
You know what's great
That story you did with the
The age group grandma
That was so cool that you got them in there
Because it's a different side
It's not just an elite athlete
Oh behind the scenes Yeah that was so awesome okay good i'm glad you like that yeah there's a lot
of there'll be a lot of fun stuff like that wait till you wait till you see this teen
athlete that i interviewed tyler something or another this kid's fucking savage
and it's good that you have bobby doing all this stuff, because when he becomes a brick shithouse of athleticism, you're going to be like, hopefully CrossFit's going to follow him.
I don't know.
That video you did.
Come on.
Come on.
Bernie Gannon, ESPN pays to broadcast the games.
I don't think that's true, by the way.
Now you're a profitable commercial enterprise. What's to prevent
CF from charging you to do coverage? Nothing.
I won't do it if they charge me, though.
I'm not doing that.
Sebi, but you made $10 million
and they're only charging you $100,000. Doesn't matter.
I'm not doing that. I'm not having that relationship.
I'm going
there to work my ass off
and fucking love on everyone there
and come home and play and play it on the air and my relation with crossfit right now is perfect as
far as i'm concerned it's amazing i'm jerking them off as hard as i fucking can did i tell you i'm
doing the open this year i saw i saw the little clip all right everyone's got to get in it oh look cave
dastard says it's the other way espn gets paid to broadcast games hey how are things at the gym
how are things at the gym any uh any broken bones yet not yet all right we don't plan on breaking
bones but it's it's amazing it's i just posted a story on this one girl, Victoria.
Never worked out before.
She's been all in
all month that we've been open.
And she got her first double under.
Wow.
She was like...
Everyone is...
The people that are new are
doing things that they never thought that
they would be able to do. And I'm
watching them like a fucking hawk.
And I'm making sure that I'm following up with them, especially with my older members
as well.
Because I have other members that I've had for a couple of years now.
And it's just amazing what CrossFit does.
And I did the level one blurb for you today.
And it's 100% true.
Even if you don't want to open an affiliate take the level one
you'd be so much better for it i want 200 people in my gym from my area and it just makes it a
better community you're having a fulfillment you're having crazy fulfillment it's a lot of
work but i am having crazy fulfillment and everyone's super happy for me um uh i know
you're just in in your um fledgling stage but keep matt uh schindeldecker in your mind dude
because so you could you could actually because you're a cop
you could probably get that shit moving faster than most people
so matt and debbie and i have talked oh shit i love it
yeah shut the fuck up seve he's what two steps ahead of you no it's uh you know we've talked
a few times already and just the planning stage of expanding horizons is coming down the turnpike
they have the their training course in march i just have to shore it up with my police commissioner and we're going to get that going for the kids cha-ching i mean oh that's very
thoughtful of you well it might be a little bit of a uh well we'll talk on the side about it but
it's something that's really really exciting and uh you know me being in the position that i'm in
the police department it's stuff that I'm already doing.
It's just a merging of both CrossFit and the department that I work in.
I just got to get my department on board and have a little conference call with Debbie and the commissioner.
And I think it'll be very successful.
I'm pumped for you.
I have a podcast with Pedro. Sorry, go ahead. No'm pumped for you. I have a podcast with Pedro.
Sorry, go ahead.
No, thanks for everything.
I mean, you guys have been,
you guys have been the best.
You know, the live chat,
the side chat,
and everyone at the games,
it was phenomenal.
And thank you.
All right, dude.
I'll talk to you soon.
Thank you.
Thanks for calling.
All right.
CrossFit affiliate owners.
Look, it just calls in.
Shoot the shit. CrossFit chieftain. Long Island. Jethro. All right. noon pacific standard time that's in two hours and 47 minutes and then this evening we are doing the crossfit games update show holy shit what a big day love you guys uh bella martin thank you um uh chief nation chief nation chief nation bye