The Sevan Podcast - CrossFit Games Update Show - QUARTERFINALS SUPER SHOW
Episode Date: April 22, 2024Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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What? Something's wrong. I don't know.
Something's wrong. We're live. Oh, are we live?
We're live now. Taylor, you're alive.
Dude, bro, there's so many memes and videos of you right now falling off a box. This is
what somebody sent to me who i got sober with
hey anyone anyone who has any memes uh just start sending them over to
you got to text them to us or tell us and we'll start pulling them up it's going to be meme heaven
hey you know what's crazy too is there's a double shot because right after uh i think jason has a pretty good fall too oh really no
he doesn't fall does he fall or it's just at the end at the end at the end he collapses
so before we show this thank you uh good job look at that depth though i got that ass to my
i got my butthole to the box on that where can we go to the youtube oh is it could we go to the youtube or is this is it um uh taylor hi what's up dude taylor suffers the world are you um welcome to
the crossfit games update show guys we're back it's been a minute good to see you john young
andrew hiller tell yourself caleb beaver central training hillary fit training, J.Y. Barba. It's been a while.
Even Taylor has a coach.
And John Young,
before we went on the air,
that guy over there, the bald guy,
was offering to coach this guy.
And he said, I want to take you to semifinals.
He said, send me.
As like a friend.
Not as like an athlete. You know, like bring him with me.
Look, as a date, God,
I'm so happy. I'm so happy that him with me. Like as a date. Gotcha. I misunderstood.
Just kidding.
I'm so happy that I got to wash the gel out of my hair.
You had to put gel in your hair, dude?
That's horrible for you.
Dude, Taylor Self vs. The World.
I put mud in there.
You're already subscribed.
Okay.
Shit.
Let's watch it.
Be sure to purchase.
Taylor, you should tell John Woolley he's not allowed somebody goes
this is why i fell guys to be honest
oh i couldn't get over taylor's balls are so huge and heavy they pulled him back off the box correct it looks like a donut
dude it's a fucking nicest recliners
leather recliner
can you see my feet almost
yeah
it's so cute
just chilling bro
can you walk us through
your last few minutes thank you John
I'm trying to watch the Haney, Ryan Garcia fight.
I just bought it.
Dude, fuck off.
Ignore that.
Pause it.
Listen, be cool.
When did you black out?
I remember on the third set of wall balls thinking I should really slow down right now if I don't want to hurt myself.
And I also, right after that thought, if you rest on these
wall balls, you are such a bitch. Um, side by side, those thoughts came one right after another.
Yeah. It was like, dude, you're really messed up. Cause I was doing that kind of wall ball
where you throw the ball up and then you shuffle your feet forward and then back and then you catch
it and then you throw it and you shuffle your feet forward and back. And that's like a, that's like a, that's a very, uh,
very good sign that I have gone too far over the threshold.
And so I was like, man, I just need to do this first set of 10,
put my hands on my knees and rest for like 20 seconds or a person attend what
burpees? No wall balls. It was during this set of 10 wall balls. Okay.
Um, the first, the first 10. So at zero, you knew that when you went to the wall for the third time.
When I went to the wall and I didn't rest and I just picked the ball up and started doing wall balls, I was fucked up.
And then I just had people yelling at me.
I didn't even really hear it.
What I heard more than anything was like, if you rest right now, you're such a fucking bitch.
Okay.
Let me put this in context real quick.
I've seen a bunch of athletes collapse.
It's usually always in what I think you guys call monostructural events.
So we saw it in Murph, but only when they were running and in the heat and with vests on.
We also saw it at Camp Pendleton with monostructural, with running and the heat.
We saw it in 2008 with Joshosh everett coming down uh the the hill um we uh
kalipa we we saw it with kalipa thank you uh with the run now um dutch lowey also told me one time
dutch lowey from the 2008 uh movie every second counts told me that you could push yourself so
hard that you kind of start getting a wah wah wah, wah, wah, and sort of your vision will start closing in on you.
I fully blacked out.
I sent in our group text that I haven't blacked out like that since I was drinking.
And I drank 36 beers this one time and a liter of white wine and ate leftover chicken Alfredo.
And I blacked out and I shit in the driveway and I woke up with poop on my ass.
That was my worst blackout story. And I blacked out and I shit in the driveway and I woke up with poop on my ass. That was my worst blackout.
That was my worst blackout story.
And I blacked out like that.
And then if you take the next day where I was hung over for like 10 hours and cram that all into 90 minutes, that's how I felt after that workout.
I felt like I had pudding for a brain.
I would not recommend this at all.
Okay.
So, but, but what I'm so, okay, so let's go back to the wall.
But what I'm tripping on is that it wasn't a you weren't doing a monostructural event you were doing i've never
seen it happen to anyone quite the way it happened to you even even when we see people faint the
other times we see people faint is under serious serious heavy loads and we see people faint right
back squats deadlifts so you do those first 10 and then what happens? So recreate it for us to,
to what, what happened? What I think happened one, the biggest thing is I haven't been training like
18 to 30 minute time domain continuous done a lot of longer intervals, but not a lot of like 18
minute to 30 minute AMRAPs, which I need to be doing more. So I'll be doing a lot of that.
The other thing is my leg stamina right now is not great. So I knew that my legs were going to be really fucked up after that workout.
But after the first set of 50 burpee box jump overs, like my entire lower body starting to
come up to like my belly button was full of lactic acid. And then the next round, it was like up to
my neck lactic acid. And then after the 10 wall balls, my head was full of lactic acid. It felt like I overdosed on
lactic acid. So I wasn't pushing through like, okay, I'm going to pass out because my heart
rate's too high or because I can't breathe. It felt like there was lactic acid in every cell
of my body. And it was like moving through peanut butter. And I was just like, well,
just keep swimming through peanut butter. One of the symptoms we saw early in that last last set of burpees was in between
the box jumps in order to stay upright which this this comports with what you're saying is
you would lock your knees to stand straight yeah i couldn't you were trying to rest by locking your
knee by i almost look at right here i almost or maybe it wasn't that one on one of these i reached out to grab the box on my way up to use for help and like i put my hand
out and i was like oh can't do that that would be cheating like use the box to help me up from
the burpee look at my do you remember getting off the wall can you take us to when he gets off the
wall uh caleb do you remember getting off the wall and going to those last set
yes i dropped i i don't really remember it but i watched the video and i i threw my last wall
ball and i turned around without getting out of the way and the wall ball hit me in the shoulder
wow and you but you don't remember but you don't even remember that uh i remember my first 20 burpees thinking
this is so bad but if i can manage to hold this i'll be kind of okay like it won't be
did you ever think hey i've never been to this spot before
yeah 100 uh i don't know that that crossed my mind but i never have felt like that
the closest i felt to that was like 30% of that. Oh my God.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
Okay.
Can you explain the difference between this pain and then like the pain you
feel in 24.1?
It felt like doing 24.1 four times.
Oh wow.
The ball did hit you.
Okay.
So you turn around.
Matt O'Keefe sends 500 bucks.
Hey, that goes to me, dude, for this.
It goes to the hospital bill.
Kether Lammy, $5 for Taylor to buy Pedalite.
Olsen dudes, a phenomenal job, fellas.
Taylor, a full send blackout was absolutely crazy.
Thank you, Mr. Olsen.
See, here I was like.
Sniffing crotches for Taylor's Harley fun. fun he's a badass go on go on taylor here i was like okay this is fucking horrible but i maybe can get to
these 50 going like this and then i got somewhere and i was like man i'm gonna have to start
resting between reps if i want to even be able to get on top of the box, like I, I was, again, it wasn't my
breathing or heart rate that was like stopping me.
I couldn't like my muscles were shutting down.
I, and I, so I talked about, uh, the long time domains that I have been hitting.
My leg stamina is not great.
Like I've been squatting consistently for like three months.
So without pain after my knee surgery. So like,
I knew this workout was going to mess me up, but I underestimated 300 reps of basically squats.
They're all squats, jump squats, you jump and land in a squat. Um, and my knee felt,
it feels amazing. Like no repercussions there, but just, I went way past my lactic threshold and filled my
entire body with fucking venom.
What is lactic acid?
Does anyone know?
Your body produces it, uh, from, from, uh, utilizing like glycogen or ATP for, uh, energy.
So it's a byproduct of burning fuel.
Right.
And this is the other thing.
I ate breakfast at like 8 30 and i
ate a big breakfast but i ate like i was going at 11 a.m like i had the previous two days and i
didn't really eat anything more than that so i one i don't think i had enough carbs and i only had
one salt pack with like a liter like maybe a half liter of water. So I don't think I had enough salt or
water. And I thought we were starting at 1245. And like typically in a setting like this,
where I don't, there's no corral, I'll start like lactic buffering 15 minutes before we start.
And that's just like doing a couple rounds of the workout, getting your heart rate really high.
And like, you basically can step up your lactic threshold or at least buffer when that stuff starts to hit you and i remember walking
up to jr and be like hey when do we start and he goes one and my eyes got wide i was like fuck
i've been doing burpees for 10 minutes and i gotta keep doing them until we start and so i just you
know did that have you peed do you think you have rhabdo? I don't have rhabdo. I've peed. It's clear as a fucking clear as a crystal spring, bro. If you guys want to drink some,
I can bottle this excellence up and send it your way. Hey, fuck this guy who cares about his score.
Douche. Wow. Wow. 1524 Justin Medeiros. Crazy. We'll be looking at almost 13 minutes.
Wait, are the leaderboards, is the leaderboard populated? No. No, that guy just knew his score.
And then, Taylor, when did you, so you blackout, and then when did you come to?
When do you remember again?
When does your memories, like, come back in?
I was sitting, and I, like, was on the ground after this workout for, like, probably 10 minutes on the floor, maybe even 15.
Then I went into the other room of the gym and got into the plunge, and I probably sat in the plunge for too long, maybe, like, 10 minutes on the floor, maybe even 15. Then I went into the other room at the
gym and got into the plunge and I probably sat in the plunge for too long, maybe like 10 minutes.
Um, and, uh, I mean, I couldn't really function for like an hour and a half.
It's a little while, but would you remember being in the plunge?
Yeah. I remember being in the plunge. I don't remember really falling off the box.
Do you remember getting in the plunge? Yeah, I remember being in the plunge. I don't remember really falling off the box. Do you remember getting in the plunge? Yeah. Uh, yeah. I remember sitting on the edge thinking,
I don't even know how I can get in this right now. And did it seem cold to you or no,
did you didn't even feel it? No, it didn't seem that cold. I kept feeling like I just needed to get my body temperature down, but my heart rate and my, I couldn't get my heart rate and breathing
under control.
Crazy dude. Uh, any concern, any concern? Did you go to the doctor?
No, they were thinking about calling.
You had nurse Jr to take care of them.
Yeah. I think the biggest thing was I just needed to hydrate and I wasn't really holding liquid down a ton. So they're a little nervous, but I was able to stomach some eventually.
And I was good.
Do you, did you feel like if you drank, like, did you drink several pints of water and then still feel like you weren't hydrated were you like god i'm still
thirsty were you was it one of no it wasn't thirst it was like i didn't want to drink it
but you didn't okay my body needed it yeah jr said your resting heart rate was 130 like 10 minutes
after the workout thank you reagan reagan gave me a powerade like an and an hour after i was able to
drink it and that helped a lot super hot rate wait super hot reagan hooks great last name spelt wrong but oh wait hold on uh
what let's look at reagan a little more uh super hot reagan hooks uh not contributing money but i
donated my powerade to taylor to bring back uh to life so she saved your life i would say my wife
saved my life hey how freaked out was she?
A lot of people were saying,
yeah,
she was,
she was.
Yeah.
And,
um,
and,
but was she proud of you?
Maybe a little mad at me.
Uh,
I would say she's proud,
but also,
you know,
a little weirded out probably that I can do that to myself.
Why is she mad at you? Why would she be mad?
She's not actually mad at me. She was just like, Hey, I'm really concerned.
And if that ever happens again, like we're just going to go to the hospital.
I would, I spoke to Taylor about two hours afterwards, his wife on speakerphone,
his wife was there and he goes, my, I think my wife's mad at me.
And she goes, I am. She jumped in right away. I am not mad at him at not mad at him at all she's amazing yeah she if if i wouldn't have had her there you would
have cried just yeah i would have cried probably a ton i probably did you were you scared were you
scared taylor i was just at a point where like jr was in there with her and i was like hey my heart
rate's not coming down at all and i don't know if this is bad or not but you tell me jr i was like
should i go to the hospital and he was like and i was like look you may i don't know if this is bad or not but you tell me jr i was like should i go to
the hospital and he was like and i was like look you may i don't know you tell me jr uh it just
what i can't describe is dude it felt horrible uh like what do you mean horrible like like you had
food poisoning or you were dizzy or it felt like I had pudding in my head.
It felt like my whole head, there was nothing in there but pudding.
Everything was like for like 30 minutes after the workout.
Like, like all of that was just like flushing, flashing, flashing in my fucking head.
My body was hot.
There was lactic acid everywhere.
So if you ever do like a lot of
ecobike sprints and you feel lactic acid through your legs and then it starts to get in other parts
of your body it was like that times 10 with that pounding in my head and feeling like somebody
replaced my brain with fucking jello did you vomit i i threw up water and some electrolytes that i
tried to get down but i didn't throw anything like like I didn't feel like I had to throw up.
I just like,
I drank some water and it just came right back out.
Where did you throw up?
Huh?
You think you're more or less fit now because of this?
For sure.
More dude.
It's mental.
Yeah.
If I can,
I mean,
look,
I'm going to be doing a lot of wall balls and burpee box jump overs.
That's for one.
And I'm probably going to be doing a lot of sets of 50 because that really fucking pisses me off.
Who farted?
Who's farting?
My phone is vibrating.
That's probably John Young.
That sounds like a John Young thing to do.
Hey, doesn't John kind of cross you as the guy who drinks a lot of protein,
drinks a lot of whey protein and farts a lot?
Absolutely.
I'm definitely not fucking less fit after that.
If I can do that, I can do anything.
Get with the programming.
Donating to Tyler Savage.
Self fund.
Self fund.
Send fund.
Self full send fund.
Thank you, Chase.
Hey, where did you throw up?
Once I recover from that, I will 100% be more fit from that.
I threw up in a trash can.
Anthony, TPA, Taylor embodied the true meaning of CrossFit crash.
Did you see Patrick Bellner's comment, another win for gravity?
Reposted me? Yeah, that was pretty funny.
God, I can't wait to see tomorrow's, all the memes for tomorrow.
Please tag the Sebon podcast so we can repost them all.
Or ask to collab, ask to to collab i heard you fart again okay um let's pull up the uh leader
board of the first two workouts quarterfinals are supposed to be in they were supposed to start
coming in uh by 5 p.m as they're live right now dude i can't see him on the app are you guys on
the website caleb should he've gone to the doctor caleb no absolutely not thanks
yeah oh no there's not any scores right he's still in first okay well the show's over guys
let's go watch the ryan garcia fight what's going on here why are you using safari
okay can you can you see that can you see them, Hiller?
I haven't checked Safari yet, but I am on my phone.
I will check also.
I will train next on Tuesday.
I'm getting a gel injection in my knee.
I had it scheduled for Monday,
so I'll get that hyaluronic acid shot in my knee,
which I feel like I don't even need it at this point. I was just like a little concerned. Okay. The last one I had was like
18 months ago. They say it wears off in like a year to two years. So I should probably get another.
Um, it's just like basically a lubricity coating for your joint. Um, and, uh, so I, I was like,
all right, I'll probably need it or want it after quarterfinals, but my knee feels amazing.
So I was like, all right, I'll probably need it or want it after quarterfinals,
but my knee feels amazing.
But I'll still get it.
Hiller, you're still at Will Leahy's house.
How's Will doing?
Can you give us any insights on how the workouts are going for him,
and did he black out?
He did not black out, but he did well.
Is he done with all of them?
He's done with all of them, yeah.
Could Bill Leahy put himself in that place? I haven't seen it so i can't say yes because i don't think many people can hillary have you ever seen anything
like that hillary uh the closest thing i've seen would have been myself but it was on something
nowhere near as challenging as what taylor did it's usually within a salt bike like taylor said right right it was also really hot when i did it that's lactic
acid dude it's i think it's just like i wonder if there's any research or studies on like poisoning
yourself with that much lactic acid you know what i mean where you push past your threshold and you
just keep going and it continues to build past what your body can tolerate hinshaw would have
told you to kick up into a handstand. It would have saved your life.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sure I could have held a handstand there.
Will you train tomorrow, Taylor?
Fuck no.
I'll train Tuesday.
Hey, do you think it's got anything to do with the fact
that you've been taking it somewhat easier on your legs?
Oh, 100%.
So you're walking on the side to pass it over and over again.
You're doing all these wall balls. You're landing in the squat, and your legs so you're probably going to pass it over and over again you're doing
all these wall balls you're landing in the squat and your legs just can't shuttle that's 100% what
it was they just could not flush um so i'll just be doing more stuff like i mean i felt i felt oh
shut down
you fell i felt my legs kind of felt like that on 24.3,
but I didn't go anywhere near as much intensity there
because I was a little more nervous at the 145 bar.
Tiffany Hendrickson.
Oh, my God.
Did her head bounce off the ground?
Definitely did.
Hey, did your head bounce –
Gets up and waddles.
Did your head bounce off the ground, Taylor?
No, mine did not.
Hey, I'm not sure – did you pee your pants, Taylor? No, mine did not. Hey, I'm not sure.
Did you pee your pants, Taylor?
No, I didn't.
I think it was that workout that Caleb just showed.
I think that workout had double-unders in it somewhere also.
Yeah, 300 double-unders.
3K row, 300 double-unders, 3-mile run.
And I remember filming Jason Kalipa afterwards and the red-headed guy, and they were both laying on their back, and they both said that they peed their pants involuntarily. I was filming Jason Kalipa afterwards and the redheaded guy, and they were both laying on their back,
and they both said that they peed their pants involuntarily.
I was filming Jason.
He's like, oh, the weirdest thing's happening right now.
I go, what?
He goes, I'm peeing.
And he's like, it's not me peeing.
I'm just peeing.
Let's see if Taylor's head hit the turf here.
It doesn't.
Don't worry, Taylor.
We're going to watch it, and we'll decide.
You don't need to take it easy.
Hey, was it weird at all doing these on the turf?
I was watching.
No, we did it to keep from having puddles of sweat underneath us and slipping.
What's the temperature like in the gym?
It was not that hot.
It was like maybe 80.
Did anyone tell Colton his leg did didn't go over
the box on any of his burpee box jump overs i don't know if anyone told him that his what didn't
go over i i watched it probably too late which is unfortunate because i would have let him know
but i'm like every one of his burpee box jump overs his leg swings behind the box it does it
does he does have to to swing his leg around
the box. I tried to call him
like an hour ago. And what do you mean? That's not legit?
There's no specific rule against it.
But it's certainly easier
to get your leg.
You'll be able to see it if you watch it.
Omar Canedo,
you're a badass thumb.
Let's watch Colton Merton's on the left there.
Oh, but he still has to get on top of the box.
It just cuts off like the back half.
Right.
He steps off the back edge side or whatever.
But there are no specific rules saying you have to go over the box.
But here's the thing. If you take this
to the extreme and you jump up
and step back, every burpee is certainly easier.
Yeah, well, he's fine, I think.
Easier, though, doesn't mean it's wrong,
right?
Uncommon movement.
Yeah, it depends, but I think he's fine.
There you go. That's a good angle.
I think he's fine.
What would you do, Hiller, if you were the the judge at crossfit would you let him get away with that
i would have made a better rule saying you have to go over the box because as it stands i'm not
really sure like that like that that angle pretty clearly shows he's going off the back of the box
hey i thought we were talking about me fucking eating shit. Yeah, we did.
I like Colton.
I don't want to talk about this.
Yeah, tell me about your and Colton's relationship.
He was saying really nice things about you afterwards,
which I'm not used to him saying. Did you guys bond?
Did you bond?
He was just saying really nice things about you.
He said, hey, man, this guy's a serious threat.
He said you're going to be a problem this year. Yeah, he said you problem this year yeah he said you're gonna believe in yourself yeah if i believe in
myself yeah i was feeling myself before this workout where are you hey did you think you
were gonna come out dude i thought i was gonna fucking throw back shots on Dallin and Jason.
I do believe in myself and I feel healthy.
And I think that's what most people should be concerned about is that I haven't been,
oh, scores are up.
I haven't been healthy in a really long time.
My knee feels amazing.
And I know that's an issue and it won't be an issue in a month.
That's for sure.
That for me, that aerobic base is there. And the long time domain has always been something I'm very good at.
And that will come back quickly for me and I'll be running quite a bit, but I'd be, I
don't know.
I'm also kind of though, dude, that's a really bad score.
So I'm kind of like, I'd be surprised if I even fucking made it with that.
Anthony TPA, $2 Taylor ate harder than Spiegel eating cookies. score so i'm kind of like i'd be surprised if i even fucking made it with that anthony tpa two
dollars taylor ate harder than spiegel eating cookies a tia claire to me a fourth and a fifth
hey when you go over the women i'm gonna pee real quick you gotta let me pee so tell me what
workouts we're looking at which workouts are those tell me them like by the movements
the first workout yeah was the workout with the intervals,
which featured the snatch, and then the rower, and then the dumbbell step-up.
Snatch, rower, dumbbell step-up. Okay.
And then the second workout was the wall ball burpee box jump over.
Okay.
And with Tia taking at the top of the leaderboard,
I guess we can kind of guess that her wrist is usable.
And in that 13-minute time, right? taking at the top of the leaderboard, I guess we can kind of guess that her wrist is usable. And if Tia,
in that 13-minute time, right,
John Young, let's bring that up again, too.
15.42, if anyone was
going to do it, it was going to be Tia.
I mean, I think
if anybody was going to do it, it would have been the first-place
person on here.
So we have Tia Toomey leading quarterfinals,
then Jennifer Muir emma lawson
emily rolf gabrielle magawa laura horvat and six uh brenna stemler alexis raptus ella wilkinson
uh 10th we have the high rocks girl um before we go in 12th alex kazan 11th emma tall before we go
any further what is the significance of this are these girls really trying here is this is this
100 right here?
Absolutely.
Yeah, they're trying.
For sure.
You know how you know they're trying?
Because Tia's in first place.
So this is nothing like the Open.
No.
Nothing like the Open.
And if you notice, there's a lot more recognizable names at the top in the Open.
Sahar Khai, Emma McQuaid, daniel brandon tied with emma mcquade
interesting uh jacqueline dalstrom manon angonese uh amy kringle from the isle of man
claudia gluck uh sylvia garcia carolyn privo oh let's talk about carolyn privo that those were
right in her wheelhouse, right?
Yeah.
Damn, that's impressive. That's impressive for her.
Freya Mooseburger, Hayley Adams,
Grace Walton, another Hayley. Oh,
wow. Wow, wow,
wow.
Look at my Hayley
Adams versus Hiller's Hayley Adams.
Only eight points separating them.
Wow.
Pretty cool here. Hopper was first in the world Adams versus Hillers. Haley Adams, only eight points separating them. Wow. Hey, uh,
pretty cool here.
Hopper was first in the world and workout one.
And you know what I was?
That's cool.
I was fourth.
So fuck you,
John Young.
Uh,
let's keep going down.
I didn't say you were going to be bad.
You said I would be lucky to be top 40.
I'm not making the,
is the Bella Madeline sturt.
Uh,
Jay crouches, uh, peace. Isabella, Madeline Sturt, Jay Crouch's
piece.
Caitlin
Bernardin, Andra Moistus,
Rebecca Fuselier.
Ooh, Brooke Wells.
Looking good. Nicole Hare, Erica Folo,
Elisa Fuliano,
Camila,
Holly Tienen.
Brooke Wells, 38th place. Caitlin
VanZio, 39th.
She's always 43.
Margot Mestet, 40th.
Anna Donaher, 40th.
Belinda Danette, 43rd.
Paige Powers from CrossFit Mayhem, 43rd.
Emma Armstrong, 45th.
Amanda Barnhart.
And then Paige Semenza down there at 48th.
And then that's it pretty much for the
top 50 julia jacobson connie easby emma day gooch
still still still a lot of time for a lot of movement in the board right
oh yeah oh yeah no the leaderboard is gonna look look. Go ahead. And the barbell is going to be a big separator.
And the gymnastics workout.
Right, right.
Okay, so the two that are left are both big separators.
Everyone can do those first two.
Those are about hurting.
I don't know if everyone can do it quite the way that the best can do it,
but there's going to be a difference when it comes to the second set Of workouts for sure
Okay let's let's cruise on over to
The
Penises
Yonikoski
One thing to point out right here Yonikoski has 20 points
And I think Tia had 9
Alright what's the significance
I mean you tell me
The fact that she's That much better, that the women's,
that Tia really is the queen of her world.
I would say that that is quite the significance, yes.
We are, is this region specific or is this worldwide at the moment?
This is worldwide.
Oh, yeah. Let's go to region specific.
You might not think.
You're closer than you think.
I'm an 81st. Hold on one second.
I'm not making it.
Yeah, you're going to make it.
You're 100% going to make it.
You guys, we're on a show where this isn't like a free call.
Okay.
Let's go through the world rankings first.
James Sprague took a second in workout one.
That was the one with the rower.
He's in second.
Bjorkvind Carl Gudmundsson, also
tied in second. Pat Vellner in
fourth. Lazar Jukic,
Benoit
Boulanger, sixth. Roman
Krennikoff, seventh.
What was
the wall ball one?
How did Roman do in the wall ball one?
He hit
16 of six.
Okay.
Victor Hoffer, Nika, Jeffrey Adler.
Next two workouts will be good for Jeffrey Adler.
Jason Hopper, a first and a 53rd.
So Jason Hopper set the world record on the snatch row dumbbell workout.
And to do that when everybody knows your score is ridiculous.
What was mine in the world?
What was 249?
Brandon Luckett, 13th.
Brandon Luckett, that guy's not even as fit as John Young.
Grant Clark, Uldis Upenix, Nicholas Saraliotos,
Mikhail Veselovsky, Yellow Hosta, fourth place in the first workout
Yello was at the games last year
there is some concerns right of Yello making it to the
games again with the only 40
going to the semifinals
he set himself up well the next two are not
going to be great for him but I think
this is the world I think he'll be fine
Jay Crouch
from Australia Enola Kai
from Spain Samuel quant 22nd uh is wow
bobby and herman's i was top 10 on the world in that uh first workout that's jesus christ taylor
hang tight buddy hang tight uh kaylin souza zach thomas justin madaris 102nd and a seventh
15 23 on the workout that KO'd Taylor Self.
Dallin was 2nd, so we had 1 and 2, the top two scorers.
Alexis Kutolas, Jacob Schmidt, Luka Jukic, Mikko Lillg, Cole Greyshaber in 30th.
Dallin Pepper took a second.
Wow.
So we had a first and a second and a snatch in row dumbbell.
And, John, what is the significance of them doing it in front of everybody?
It's easier to beat a score when you know the score.
Yeah, it's massive.
When you know the score, it is so much easier to beat the score.
You see what they did well.
You see the strategy that they did.
You think all these guys watched it? I think they did well. You see the strategy that they did. You think all these guys watched it?
I think they did not.
They're stupid as fuck, yeah.
Ricky Garrard
from Underdogs Athletics,
sitting in 32nd. Louis Selyor.
Samuel Cournoyer from
CrossFit Mayhem, 34th.
Kevin Jures.
Guillaume
Blanc. Marvick vaca kevin dubious uh maurice phoebe games athlete sitting in uh 39th
austin hatfield from uh crash crucible 39th fabio bonito eggs viscera lucas jueza harry lightfoot Harry Lightfoot. There he is. Travis Mayer,
15th and a 141st.
Luca Von
Jacques Zachary Boonton,
Raphael Sanken, Sanson,
who is on this podcast, Chris Ibarra,
and Jack Rosema. Jack Rosema
was also at Crash Crucible.
Is that correct? Yes, sir.
Correct.
He's a douche canoe.
Jacked as hell.
Taylor won a workout,
Colton won a workout, Dallin won a workout,
and Hopper won a workout.
Thoughts on what
the implications of that are, Hiller?
You mean amongst the three of them?
Amongst the four of them. All of them won a workout
and I think JR Colton won all of them and all of them took a last. All of them won a workout, and I think JR took all of them,
and all of them took a last.
All of them took a first, and all of them took a last.
It shows that the programming was damn good.
I got nothing bad to say about the programming.
It was amazing.
I agree 100%.
Amazing.
And as pigeonholed as they made themselves by saying it was going to be accessible,
it was for masters, age groups, and the individuals, only four made themselves by saying it was going to be accessible it was for masters age groups and the individuals only four tests i thought it was incredible um so
crazy good all right show's over you guys want to look at regions yeah that's uh the the cut
line is always fun to look at the top 40 like just outside of the top 40 on the cut. Yeah, good point.
Let's do it.
There's no shot I'm making the cut, dude.
Let's head over.
Let's start with the West,
and then we'll move to the East,
and then we'll go to Europe.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
We'll start with the East.
No, this is West.
Oh, this is West.
Okay, James Sprague sitting in first in the West.
Patrick Vellner, Brandon Luckett, Samuel Quant.
Let's just go down to 40th.
Yeah, totally.
Let's go 35th.
Wow.
Ryan Jevning,
Trevon Benton,
Dylan Gibbs,
Alessandro Zanette,
Jack Cooper,
Gabrielle Townsend,
Connor Newberry,
Brandon Fabry,
Casey Strong,
Justin Johnson,
John Wood,
Steven O'Brien,
Nick Roberts,
Jacob,
Jacobus Bayards,
Jacob Marlowe.
Jacob Marlowe. Wow. Is that
our guy?
It's Billy. He's friend.
No, it's not Jack Farlow.
Go to the next page, too. I don't know
any of those names except John Wood. That's the only
name I recognize. That probably makes a
little sense.
Let's see if there's anyone down here
um brian win maybe wow gee is 20th in south america sheesh damn okay so so so the west is
playing the west wow wow wow he did worse than I did on that workout?
Holy shit.
He barely made it in the time cap.
How is 220 reps a 60th? Are you guys really not that fit?
What do you mean?
That shouldn't be a 60th.
To me, I don't know.
Oh, Daniel Cooch.
There's Daniel Cooch.
It'd be great if he could make it.
Dude, he did worse than I did too.
That's crazy.
How far down do you have to go before it's like,
hey, you have no chance?
Sean Sweeney?
81st.
No, I think like 150th.
150th?
I saw Sean Sweeney there.
If your best workouts are workout three and four,
like if say you win workout three
and then you're
eighth and workout four 100 100 what do you think top what do you think a top 10 score for workout
four will be what's workout four clean and jerk yeah uh 29 30 so i should probably go read. I would say like 31.
Okay, let's go.
Let's look at the women in the West.
How come you call the guys the penises and the women the women?
I don't know.
Let's go check out the vaginas.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
How been Jake Douglas 85th in Australia?
Put him in timeout.
No, I can't. Dude. Jake Douglas is in 85th. Australia? Put him in timeout. No, I can't.
Jake Douglas is in 85th.
Emily Rolfe on the West.
Alex Gazan.
Caitlin Bernardedine.
Rebecca Fuselier.
So Rebecca Fuselier is going to the semifinals.
Kareem Jerk workout.
Yeah, she's going.
She'll be good.
Ariel Lowen.
Abigail Domet.
Miss Flores is making another run at it.
I didn't think that
You guys all saw Brooke Wells
One of the HWPO girls
Who dropped out? Someone dropped out today
Katrin David's daughter
She dropped out?
Katrin's daughter
Why?
Back pain
Halpin, stop ruining it for us
David Shrunk
That is good stuff helping thank you
Olivia Kerstetter 17th
Kelsey Keel okay so let's look at her
Kelsey Keel team athlete
making a run for the games
killing it
almost too old and her best
workout will be workout four
by far oh Devin saying that
because that's your training partner John
Devin Kim he is killing, Devin. I'm only saying that because that's your training partner, John.
Devin Kim.
He is killing it.
Devin Kim from the championship team last year at Invictus,
sitting in 20th.
He's probably solo this year, right?
Trista Smith.
Holy shit.
Is Trista Smith going to fucking make the games? Is this her first year out of the kiddie division?
No, she was in the finals last year.
Oh, okay.
But did she go to the kiddie division last year too?
For the games, I believe.
But I think she competed in semis as an individual.
But here's the deal.
This is her first chance of ever qualifying for the games as an adult.
No, she wanted to last year.
She just didn't make it.
But did she compete in the kiddie?
She competed in the kiddie because she didn't make it as an individual. Okay, and how did she do in the kitty? She competed in the kitty because she didn't make it as an individual.
Okay, and how'd she do in the kitty?
Second or third. She didn't win.
I recall.
Alright, but this is impressive.
Lucy McGonigal won.
This is impressive, right? This gives her hope.
Yes, certainly impressive.
I think it's about where you'd expect.
Let me ask you this real quick. How many people from this region
are going to go to the games?
Do we know?
40.
No, to the games.
Sorry, to the games.
Oh, to the games in the West?
Yeah.
Dude, look at 25th and 26th.
9 to 10.
9 or 10.
Go to 25th and 26th on the women's West.
Morgan Porter.
Taylor, we're going to get there, buddy.
We're going to get there.
She does some Sentinel stuff, and then I coach Emily.
Wow, look at you.
So at least if I don't qualify, they will.
Chris
Estap, okay.
Kelly Stone.
Ellie Scuds.
Demo team chick.
Nistler, pregnant chick.
Wow. She just had a kid.
Holy shit dude
Crazy oh there's Kyra Milligan
Would she go to the fucking semi finals
I think that's good for Kyra
I think that's good for Kyra because the next
Two workouts are going to be fucking insane
For her
So none of these girls down here
Can go to the games though
Danny Spiegel will certainly get in
After the next two workouts
But that is not good after day one
Oh I didn't see your name
Yeah I don't know
So Danny Spiegel got third in the west
In the snatch row dumbbell step ups
I guess not a surprise right
I don't know
Do you think she stood any of her reps up Hiller
I saw it
She was standing them up
You sure did I bet you did I don't know. Do you think she stood any of her reps uphill or I saw a video? She was standing them up.
You sure did.
I bet you did.
Okay.
Let's go to the next page.
This is a good page.
This is the page where if you're on it, you're in a land.
Carleen Matthews.
Click her thing. How old is Carleen?s Click her thing
How old is Carleen
36
Killer
Killer score
Good job Carleen
Let's scroll
Let's see who we got here
Jamie Hygieia
Where do you see that
Crazy dude
That's nuts Coco Jensen Higia. What? Where do you see that? Where do you see that? That would be first. Crazy, dude. Hey, Edison.
That's nuts.
Coco Jensen.
God, how do these girls stay fit for so long?
Fuck, Jamie Higia.
I love her.
She's awesome.
Me too.
Me too.
No names in here like the men that are sticking out at you.
Not for me, at least.
Nope.
Aaliyah Miller.
There's a name. Oh, wow. Has Aaliyah Miller. There's a name.
Has Aaliyah made it to the games?
No.
That's a bad spot to be in.
Let's make our...
Oh, here we go. Tyler Haddon.
Let's make our way further down the leaderboard, like around
8,412.
6'11". Jesus Christ.
Tyler the Giraffe Haddon.
Rebecca Miller. Rebecca Voigt.
110th. Thanks for putting all this
on May Quarterfinals. So much fun. Really?
Good job, Miss Voigt.
6-11.
Aaliyah might be toast.
We're headed over to the
North America East and
guess who's in first place?
Mr. Hopper.
Mr. Hopper with 11 points.
Yes, sir.
Then Roman Krennikoff, then Jeffrey Adler.
He's in good company.
If I'm Hopper, I redo workout four to see if I can win quarterfinals.
Absolutely not.
Are you out of your mind?
Dallin Pepper.
Ten minutes.
Yeah, but what are you going to get for winning quarterfinals?
A BJ?
Maybe. Oh, my God. 10 minutes Yeah but what are you going to get for winning quarterfinals A BJ Maybe Oh my god
Optimistic of you Mr. Young
Always positive
Jack Farlow sitting in 14th
With 55 points
So let's look at Jack Farlow for a second
He has a 9th
So the strong guys
That's really good for Jack Farlow
Wow 22 only 22 years old The strong guys did good in workout 1 He has a ninth. That's really good for Jack Barlow. Wow, 22.
Only 22 years old.
The strong guys did good in workout one.
The snatch, the row, and the dumbbell step-ups.
The big guys.
Jack Barlow said standy.
Does Jack Barlow climb?
Does he climb in the next two workouts?
I think so.
I think he'll stay the same the gymnastics one will be like workout two
and then the lifting one will be like workout one probably a little bit better hey guys remember
this guy did really well a lot of palooza and you got to stop thinking about him like a explicitly
weightlifting man he's got a lot i don't he's the 14th he's 14th place yeah he's a freak he's like a
little down man but big and like he's a guy that i think live competition
is so much better for him than online competition
oh delugos and 180 187 thank you because we definitely won't make it down there did you put
um helping on timeout?
Is that why we got a new account for him?
I definitely did not, but I want to.
Dre Strom, 15th camera guy for Mayhem or something for Mayhem.
I think now he's been promoted out of cameraman.
Didn't Will Morad say that he was all injured and retired and stuff this year?
There was some weird post about Kobe Bryant.
Will Morad's injured and retired? year there was some nice weird post about kobe bryant retired alex uh vigno morad 21st i remember something i remember something hillar yeah he looks good to me austin spencer out of uh misfits
no rambler i fucking love you dude i would never want you in timeout. Marquand Jones still getting it. Let me see how old Marquand is. Is it Anthony Darkangelo?
What is that?
That's Anthony Darkangelo.
That's his real name?
Let me see this guy.
No, it's like a super villain.
What about Anthony Darkangelo, guys?
Saxon Panchik, 33rd.
Wow.
What's his score?
Wow.
Christopher at a Mayhem, 36th.
Oh, Nick Anaboski.
Parker, 39th.
Spencer, Mayhem representing.
Right on the cut line, they're representing.
Did Jordan Kerr win something on one of the shows recently?
Not that I know.
Jordan did.
Some Jordan won something.
God, if you won a prize from us this week, good luck collecting it.
Will Carter, team with, what's his name, Chris Harris?
You got to be really gnarly in the DMs.
You got to be aggressive.
Will Carter, is he a team athlete?
He was a team athlete. uh garrett clark was
at rogue i think he made the last chance or he made the rogue qualifier yeah
yep dylan val don't be a pussy buy paper street coffee all right fair enough
uh page two page dose so only 40 of these guys Are going There's two workouts
There's two workouts left and only
40 of these guys are going
Jorge Fernandez
First year Jorge was on the
Invictus championship team last year
This is his first year trying to go individual
Ben Smith
Only 34
Nate Ackerman
64
Left the brute camp and headed up to
Mayhem with Emma Carey
This is gonna be
Something else
I can't
So different
From one and two it's gonna flip everything
Jake Berman Jake Mr. I'm injured and can't different from one and two. It's going to flip everything.
Jake Berman,
78.
Mr. I'm injured and can't go to the games.
Can't go to semifinals. Jake Berman sitting in 78.
At the moment, he can't.
There he is. Taylor Self, a fourth and a 220th.
Damn.
Dude, I'm done.
But then we know you're going to be top 10 on the other one.
Dude, I don't know.
I think you'll probably hit like 39th, 38th.
I'm going to say you're going to get 36th place, Taylor.
If I qualify, I am going to be so fucking angry at all of these people who beat me
because of this stupid fucking workout today
i'm going to fucking murder people at semifinals you can clip this you so you'll go everyone ahead
of me except for maybe fucking 11 maybe 10 maybe 8 fucking guys i'll fucking destroy it at semifinals
and then those other and then another three after that they they'll be fucking lucky. Lucky to beat me.
So you would go if you qualify?
Yeah, dude.
I would go, and I'm going to be hungry to fucking eat people's heads off.
I'm really fucking pissed off after today when shit like this happens.
What do you mean?
That's not reflective of my fitness, that 220th in any way.
And it really fucking annoys me.
Oh, Melanie Hodge.
Sarah said she'd sponsor him.
Holy shit.
So we will sponsor Taylor if he goes to semis.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Well,
fat fucking chance.
I qualify for that.
That's a horrible,
big old CA peptides,
fucking tattoo on your head.
If I don't qualify,
I'll come back and win North America East semifinals next year.
Uh,
Seba Matosian, Masters
North America West, 60-65
1,213th.
Oh, that's what you got,
Anthony? Good job. Or you're saying me?
I think that's you at the moment.
Someone signed up as you
in North America West.
That's hilarious.
I wonder who that would have been.
Yeah.
Can we go back to 85th On the east
Let's make it through the second page
Before we cruise over to Europe
God this TV in my office is insane
It's like five of fucking John's TV
Kyle can't make it.
Kyle can't.
Wow.
He spelt it wrong.
There's a U in there.
Brandon Smith, Logan Brown, Al Fisher.
All right.
Vomiting the treadmill, man.
All right.
Let's go over to Europe.
Oh, wow.
Logan Brown does Sentinel.
He does? Yeah. he trains at my gym frequently
He dates a girl he goes to my gym he's on my program
Young man
Lots of time lots of hope
He's strong as fuck
Where was Colton at
He's west
So we didn't see Colton did we
I think he was in the teens
No we were in the he was in the teens.
No, we were in the West.
We did the men's West.
Oh, yeah, we did.
I didn't see Colton.
Did we just blow through it?
He was in the West?
He's 25th. He's in the West.
He's 25th.
Did we look at the women in the East?
Yeah
Yeah, because Tia
Oh no, but that was in the worldwide rankings
No, we didn't do the East yet
Thank you for someone, did you look at the women?
Thank you, Ivana
We don't even know what we're looking at
We saw Sydney Wells in 41st
Which would be in the West, right?
Sydney Wells is in 55th
Hold on, hold on
That's not good for her
That's going to crush her
What's up with your camera
Taylor
I just had it tilted up sorry
Okay in the east
Alexis Raptus
Daniel Brandon
Freya Moosebrugger
Carolyn Prevo
Hayley Adams
There she is.
Brooke Wells, Paige Powers, Amanda Barner.
So, man, Fee, Scottie, man, it's going to be hard to qualify
for the games out of there, man.
Fee's going to be fine.
It is going to be tough.
You think she beats Brooke Wells?
Rose Scott?
I think she beats Rose Scott.
Rose Scott's going to climb on the lead.
Rose Scott's going to,
I'm very curious what her score is on that barbell.
Depends if she can control it.
Good point.
I like Rose Scott.
She's a freak.
Annika.
Hey, Annika did those workouts like three times each.
Why?
She had some trouble.
Here's your cousin.
Dude, look at that time.
1552.
Whoa.
I could have done that.
Yeah.
Oh, look.
My uncle judged her. Where do you see the judge
Oh yeah wow
Uncle Sean
Lydia Fish who was at the Crash Crucible
Last year
Kenneth is right
At least she got videos in this year
Annika
Hey let me see Caroline Klutz
Is she a Masters athlete?
Was she at Crash Crucible?
She is a Masters athlete.
Shelby Neal.
57th and a 46th.
Carolyn Stanley.
She's in.
Miss Stanley.
Miss Stanley's a beast.
Let's see.
Hey, where was Leonel Franco?
Oh, he's between you and Hopper.
He's in the east?
Come on, think about it, dude.
He's not in the east?
He's sealed, dude.
Sealed?
Yeah, airtight.
Oh.
Wow, look at Haley Adams coach,
Haley Murillo,
sitting in 53rd.
It's crazy to see these masters athletes up here.
Sidney Wells,
sitting in 55th.
Jamie Latimer,
that's a seven.
Wow.
40 inches in there.
Wow.
What a stud.
Pretty wise. There's Ashley there. Wow. What a stud. Brittany Weiss.
There's Ashley Coupe.
Coupe.
Crash Crucible.
Brittany Weiss.
Two of the athletes from the winning team aren't doing so hot.
Wait, so Brittany Weiss was on Invictus last year?
That's her?
That's her.
Correct.
So is Jorge.
Devin's the only one who's in at the moment, I think.
I don't even think she's in.
I thought she was. No, I think she was 20 she's in. I thought she was 20th or so.
I think she was 20th, yeah, or 27, something like that.
Oh, I meant on the team.
Sorry.
Uh-oh.
But I know Jorge was going individual.
I don't know about Brittany.
And I think Devin's going individual.
I think Brittany is too.
I want to say she moved to Europe and is training with like BKG or something.
Wait a second. So you're telling me that there's people that we're looking at here with scores in here who
are going team there's probably a couple but we don't know if it's britney okay but but devin kim
is going individual jorge's going individual and this wise chick's going individual speculatory Speculatory Okay Wow
Wow what
Scott Tetlow's
Burpee scores 1530
Yeah you can do that
Yeah easily
100%
Easily he says
Would you be freaked out
To try that again Carolyn Spencer
No I'll do it again for sure Before semifinals Would you be freaked out to try that again, Carolyn Spencer?
No, I'll do it again for sure before semifinals.
And I'll cut two fucking minutes off.
All right, Jessica Androzik.
All righty.
Let's cruise over to your rope.
The craziest thing I've seen so far I think is Andrew Nistler.
Yeah.
And that's probably
the most surprising in the upward, and I'm really
surprised that Jorge isn't
higher also.
Are you surprised he's not higher? I still don't think we looked at the
men's West. Jorge Fernandez?
No, I'm not surprised he's not higher.
Okay, we'll go over to the men's West again. You're not?
No, dude.
I thought we looked at... Oh, no, it was the world.
No, we can do Europe
and then go... Okay, fuck it. No, no, we did
look at this. We looked at this. Look at 25th.
Let's see if we can find Colton real quick.
He's 25th.
Yeah. Okay, there he is.
Where's Bill?
He's 14th or something.
He's around there.
That's why.
I just didn't know where Bill was.
I hadn't seen him yet.
Hello.
I think we crammed through this.
There he is right next to Tudor Magda.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Ty Jenkins.
Wow.
Dude, I can't find Leo Franco.
Ty Jenkins, I think, think won the kitty division last year
hey has a man has a man ever jumped straight from kitty to games
no i don't think so down's the closest thing nick paladino jumped from jump from kitty to a
professional gamer to twitch yeah sam dancer 11th friend fukowski freak hey I want to talk about Ty Jenkins for a second
Let me see his scores a second
Is he going
Is he going to go to the games
Is he going to be the first one to do that
There you go Taylor
Oh my god
That's not good
No that's dead
In the water bed Did he call you out he called colton mertens out
and it pissed me off so i commented and got into a text battle with him or instagram message battle
yeah it annoyed the fuck out of me that he was calling colton out to do 50 muscle-ups when
colton's never been like oh i'm best in the world at muscle-ups like why would you just fucking call him out that was stupid oh and to answer
your me and colton's relationship question we uh dude we're homies we had a real bond after 24.3
we hung out a bunch so we've been hanging out all week he's a good dude yeah that's weird that's
weird yeah he'll be here till monday you guys are both like two Dr. Seuss characters.
Scooty Mac, the High Rocks girl beat third place by over a minute in the burpee wall ball workout worldwide.
That's cray cray.
Dude, Augustus, he does Sentinel too.
He's like 131st or 136th.
135.
135.
Dude, that's crazy good.
Has anyone ever jumped from High Rocks to CrossFit?
Hunter McIntyre.
No, I mean, really.
I mean, like they made it.
I got to pee again, dude.
Mirahim's probably the only one.
She did CrossFit originally and then went to High Rocks.
Okay, so even she started with CrossFit.
I thought he was going to bring us with him.
That'd be cool.
Okay.
Let's go over to Europe.
To the country of tight jeans.
Yeah, Leo Franco is in bad shape.
Who is working with him?
Yonah Koski is also sitting number one worldwide.
Then we have Carl Goodmanson, Lazar Jukic, Victor Hoffer, Uldis Upeneks.
Great scores for Victor Hoffer on those.
Yeah. Yellow host.
Anol Akai.
Fabio Fabian, Alex Kutlis, Luca Jukic.
Or it's fee big.
Harry Lightfoot, Guillaume Brant.
Henrik.
Henrik Kappelainen, 26th.
Frans Loh.
31st.
Enrico Zanoni, 37th.
Has Enrico ever made it to the games?
Yes.
Okay. He's got the best body at the games. Yeah, byth. Has Enrico ever made it to the games? Yes. Okay.
He's got the best body at the games.
Yeah, by far.
He looks like a model.
He's a very pretty man.
Lean, right?
Lean.
Yeah.
Slender.
Willie George.
Supposed to be retired.
Said he was retired.
Willie George.
Sam Stewart out of Ireland.
Michael Smith.
David Shrunk.
Can this guy make it again to the games?
Yeah.
I like him.
I like him a lot.
I'm surprised to see Sam Stewart that high.
Really?
Well, he missed out last week.
Okay, let's go to page two of your rope.
What's that first name up there?
Henrik.
That's the steroid guy Brian Spinsherd.
No, it's not. Is it?
The Icelandic guy?
The guy's name was Henrik.
It's Einrik.
Einrik Magard.
Thank you. Good job, John.
Thanks.
I don't recognize any of these names.
Myself either.
I've seen a few. Yorgos.
Oh, Yorgos.
Yorgos Karabis.
Oh, sheesh.
My Greek
friend.
All right. Good luck, Europe.
And did we do the girls in Europe?
Just briefly.
Here, we can go back to them real quick.
Jennifer Muir
Muir third and fourth
Gabriella Magawa first and a tenth
Laura Horvat
A fourth and a seventh
She's tied with Gabby Magawa
Hey why are there two different Trish's
Mirham
Mirham Von Ruhr
That's the High Rocks girl
20th wow 1426
Holy shit
Yeah I don't believe it
What
Okay John there we go let's talk about that for a second
1426
Still a minute 26 seconds away
From the time
No a minute 27 seconds away
From the time the crossfit was suggesting of a sub 13
Yeah
That's nuts.
Is that the fastest time in the world right there?
No man or woman will beat that?
I believe so.
Emma Tall, second and 28th once again.
Powerful athlete, doing great on the first workout.
Claudia Gluck, third on the second workout.
Would she cheat?
Yeah, she 100% cheated.
She used probably like a three-kilogram medicine ball. Would she cheat? Yeah, she 100% cheated.
She used probably like a three kilogram medicine ball.
Or you know what she probably did?
She probably used.
Hyrox wall ball squats.
Yes, that.
But she also probably used the actual minimum dimension box requirement.
Guys, it's possible Miriam is really fit.
No, she is.
She is.
What do you mean by that? Explain the box thing to me.
What are you talking about?
The inverted box.
I think it's a 15-inch length.
Depth.
Depth.
If you were using a box that was – you could have used a smaller box, Taylor?
Well, you have to custom make it like a douche canoe specifically for a
burpee box jump over workout.
How the fuck did jr not do
that for you guys why would we do that that's stupid to get a better time
jr's in the air somewhere right now like curse you seven probably
okay let's keep going keep going emma mcquade j, Jacqueline Dahlstrom, Mano Langenese.
It's the usual suspect.
Andrea Solberg.
Let's go until we see someone who's like, oh, shit.
I got no one yet.
Dude, I was full of water buffalo on that workout, Hiller.
Yeah?
Yeah, dude. You got all poofy?
Dude, I was water buffalo.
I wonder if there's a peptide that can help you.
Wow, I didn't recognize any of those
names all right let's go to page two oh my god what killer i'm about to send you something
please oh sarah sigman's daughter 56 not good my rebecca vidison where do you see her 65th
see her 65th Laura Munger 68 wow okay yeah that's tough so so if it were top 40 it's only it's only top 40 to go Taylor you're gonna send me something or what on Instagram it's on IG. Keep going. Taylor Howe.
I mean, it's a still shot,
but dude, it's sus.
It's a still shot, homie.
Oh, stop it, dude.
Just wait for the video.
Okay, I will.
He sends me a picture of someone doing a clean and jerk with their knees bent. That's a picture.
No, no, no.
Where's Jason Hopper right now?
Do you want to see something cool?
Jason Hopper was winning.
He's first place.
The region.
I know, but where is he tonight?
Like, where is he right now?
Someone punch him in the face.
He's probably repeating the workout because he heard John's.
Jason, we were all just over at JR's house.
So I'm sure that's where he is.
Yeah, I want to know how many make it in the Brazil region with Guy.
I think it's 30.
And God, what an embarrassment that man is.
What's the highest somebody's climbed in quarterfinals
from one submission window to the next?
highest somebody's climbed in quarterfinals from one submission window
to the next.
Haley and Susan
represent. Augustine Raquel may
represent in Brazil.
Keiki, eight.
Keiki.
Keiki.
Kucky.
It's Keiki.
We got Gui Malheros in 20th.
Oh, we're doing South America
We're desperate for show content
Don't talk shit about Gui
He'll cry
Wait hold on show me the top of the page again
I want to see something real quick
He's not even the highest Gui
He's not even the highest Gui
Listen real quick
Did Sousa make it to the games last year
Yes
And what about Raquelme
No It was Sousa make it to the games last year? Yes. Okay, and what about Raquelme?
No.
It was Sousa and Kaikei.
Okay, but Augusto Raquelme has made it to the games before.
He has.
Okay, okay.
All right, keep cruising.
Thank you.
Kaikei Cervini made it to the games.
Hey, and he's going to do great in the next two workouts.
Oh, God.
The third one I don't think he can oh wow joe pierre hey dude thank you for the injection of hope dude your neighborhood hope dealer joe piero big new jersey
guy great thank you for that dude that's a crazy climb 120 spots local hope dealer that's good so
he went to semi semis last year okay sorry. I didn't mean to slow you down.
Good, dude.
I didn't even know they did CrossFit in South America.
Now.
Okay, so what's the problem here?
Is he going to make it?
Yeah, he'll make it.
Semifinals?
He's going to make it to semis.
I mean, he's liable to win the next two workouts. No, he's not. I know what his fourth workout is. Do you want me to make it to semis. I mean, he's able to win the next two workouts.
No, he's not.
I know what his fourth workout is.
Do you want me to share it?
Do you know other South Americans' fourth workout?
No, but I know his fourth workout.
That's the barbell one?
And I beat the shit out of him.
That's the barbell one?
Yeah, buddy.
I beat that ass.
How do I get my bicep in here?
How could you beat Guy in a barbell workout?
Because I'm fucking fit, bro.
I'm yoked.
It's more fitness than strength, Sevan.
Look at that.
Look at that bad boy.
No wonder you guys like the programming.
Although he beat you in that burpee box in a boulder workout.
No, he didn't.
Did he really?
Yeah.
Fuck my life.
Let's see.
Let's see.
I want to see that.
I want to see that.
What's his time?
God damn it. 1833. And what was his? it what were you taylor 1916 19 1912 dude i went to the spirit
of the games award for that workout god wow i'm gonna kill myself that's fucked up just kidding
that's a bad is that is that true you're gonna buy comp train that you're you and comp train
are merging sentinel training comp train i'm yeah i offered ben bergeron seven dollars and he took it
uh i'm actually gonna go redo that fucking workout right now because gee beat me damn dude
how embarrassing dude he did not smash workout well it's a flip-flop dude i beat his ass in his
but jeff taylor's saying that he already did it jeff i taylor's
saying that he already did the workout and taylor knows what his score is and he beat him greg fuck
you don't even know you love you but don't ever fucking say that again yeah but fuck you
but yeah i know i beat it i also beat roman i also beat roman and workout one
i also beat roman i also beat roman and work out one wacky you beat it by a lot one yeah i beat roman by one by one no no no he's
workout four by a lot i beat gee by yes and this workout a lot so i've if i redid it would i have
a chance to beat geese if you read how much time do you have at the 245 bar
four minutes oh i think you should redo it and give it a shot yeah i think you'd have a shot
yeah y'all had a whole minute more than i did um for your all's 245 pound bar uh daniel garrity uh
has some advice for you uh regarding the merger uh Taylor needs to fix the CompTrain app because it's been broken for like two years.
Taylor, can you get on that, please?
Oh, is that app bad?
Dude, the app I use right now is glitching a little bit, but they just made some updates.
They're good dudes.
They do a great job.
Fitter.
Love that app.
Not as good as Wattify.
Dude, stop it.
The Wattify app sucks, bro.
Wattify app is great.
Dude, for affiliates, it's horrible.
I hate it.
I'm not talking affiliates.
I'm talking practice.
I'm done.
You're done?
How's that fight, Savant?
You're finished?
How's that fight?
It's good.
They just got two chicks.
The commentators are talking,
but they got these two chicks on the screen right now
That are so freaking hot it's crazy
You saw all the pressers that fucking Ding Dong was doing
I did Garcia
I cannot believe this chick's hips
Who was doing the commentating just now
How come we don't have any girls that commentate
Since 2022
Reagan Hooks offered to
She did
Yeah Is she good reagan i don't know
she talks good she's cool can you hang can she hang though like it's it's it's wild it's nasty
land you give it a shot i think she can hang cool she can yeah she's pretty cool yeah
i think that guy i think he's uh coked out I think didn't his wife divorce him after he lost
to that uh short guy he was married yeah he was married yeah he seems coked out of his mind Ryan
Garcia something's wrong something's off he didn't make weight did you see see what happened with the
weigh-in he said every pound I weigh over I'm gonna give you five hundred thousand dollars
he weighed at three pounds over he slammed a beer while he was doing it. Yeah, that's crazy.
You guys see this?
Oh, look at this.
Australia.
Look at Hiller doing this right.
You see Hayley Adams?
Holy shit.
What?
That's my girl.
You almost missed that.
What's wrong with you?
Grace, she smoked Grace Walton.
Sorry, Grace.
Madeline.
What was Kaylin's name?
Oh, wow.
Kaylin Van Ziel on that first workout.
Dude, Emily, what's
Madaris' ex-girlfriend's name?
Retired. Allie Turner.
Man, she could have had her way
with these girls this year. Let me see the top of that list.
She's got a broken back, dude.
She does?
She has a broken spirit, dude.
I think it's just her spirit, dude.
No, dude. Her back is broken.
Justin broke it
somebody do you want to go on the australians i have pity cancel me i have i'm having pity
thoughts right now i'm like i'm saying things so mean because i'm all butthurt
oh man that sucks i didn't know she was injured that sucks dude i like watching her move
she's a beast yeah she's a fucking great athlete dude check this but here she is wonderful about
her back she said she needed a mental break yeah she needed a mental break dude she's a wonderful
athlete dude you made a video about her back killer i personally made a video about her back
she said nothing about her back but her back has been giving her issues since the game that doesn't mean that's what she said dude if you watch any
of her movement she goes into lumbar flexion doesn't matter even if it's a fucking push press
she rounds her back somehow dude it's great oh that i can agree with you're right yes wait a
second here look at this too can we zoom in a little bit on this? Hey, I don't know who that guy is, but I really want Bailey Martin.
Can Bailey, Ricky, and Jay all go?
How many go from Australia?
Yeah, they can all go.
It depends on what they allot them.
They all did last year.
Those three were all there.
Oh, Luke, Jong is doing good, too.
Yeah, so all three.
How many people does Australia send?
Is Halpin still in there? Three, I i think yeah has somebody else give us the answer
oh trish taylor is yoked did why'd you change your profile pic trish you're sussing me out
it's jake verman's brother jack verman
oh benny gerrard hey wow we're seeing 36 what do you get on the workouts what were scores yeah Jack Vermin. Oh, Benny Garrard. Hey.
Wow.
36.
What did he get on the workouts?
What were his scores?
Yeah, I'd like to see his scores.
And Forte.
I've zoomed in too far.
There you go.
Hey, let me see the top again, too.
I want to see how Bailey Martin did.
I really like him.
I want to get on the Bailey Martin train, I think.
When Ricky retires, I'm going to go full fucking crazy on Bailey and Jay.
I love the Australian guys.
Fucking AJ.
Look at him.
A first and a fourth.
His burpees.
30 what?
Ricky,
you're going to have to stop getting so old,
dude.
He's 30.
He's two years older than me.
That's old as fuck.
Maybe it's like a dinosaur,
dude.
Ricky looks like he's 72,
dude.
He's a dinosaur. He's 72.
He got scales and shit. I hear red. Uh Red 140 connects on four years of your life immediately.
Stop, stop, stop.
Must be on hella Red 40, though.
Hey, Australia couldn't be represented any better, dude.
Jay Crouch, Ricky Garrard, and Bailey Martin.
Yeah, dude.
What about Zach Thomas?
You haven't even mentioned the guy in first.
I don't know him.
I don't know him.
Me neither. I need to see his IG. I don't know him. I don't know him. Me neither.
I need to see his IG.
I need to see him with his shirt off.
Fucking crap.
I'm going to look him up right now on IG.
God, I love the Australian fucking athletes.
Zach Thomas.
What's his IG?
I couldn't possibly tell you.
There's fucking 10 million Zach Thomases.
It's Z-A-C-H.
Hurry up, because Caleb's going to beat me.
It's Z-A-C.
No H.
Okay, Thomas.
Zach Thomas, 18.
Got him.
Followed by Dalton Pepper.
I'm ahead of you.
Oh, what the fuck?
3,000 followers winning the semifinal.
Let's go.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know this dude.
This dude will do.
What a beautiful man.
Yeah, look at it.
Man bun and all.
Surfer boy.
I'm trying to find Lindsey from Crash in North America East.
We didn't look for her.
I've seen more beautiful men, certainly.
Zach can be a good backup
For Ricky
He's not on the same planet as Bailey
Or Jay
Jay and Bailey are just cool
He's like a knockoff sand dancer
Does anyone know him is he cool
I'm sure he's cool
He's hanging out with Australians
Ricky knows him
Yeah look how fucking Jack Garrard is there always smart to flex your
lats in a picture people always smart uh taylor would be top three in australia africa and asia
time to move let's go i'm getting my african citizenship
lindsey's 227th in the East.
Lindsey who?
Lane.
Oh, okay.
Hey, guys, I got to hop off.
All right.
Thank you.
Later, John.
You're a good new John Young.
Later, J-Y.
J-Y Jelly.
J-Y Jelly, that's right.
Hey, I made a workout for John.
What is it?
Cardio?
Oh, you already made it?
Hey, I don't know if you should talk about this yet.
What?
No, fuck you. Talk about it.
No, it's a surprise.
It's a surprise.
For who?
Everyone. The world.
Okay, it's a surprise. For who? Everyone. The world. Okay. It's a surprise.
Damn, dude.
Can you text me after we're done?
Dude, it's such...
It's so fucking cool.
I can't wait.
When are we going to do that?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
First off, no, fucker.
Taylor, you have to read what it says because other people can't see the TV.
Cross fat, cross fat.
J.Y. about to beat Taylor on WOD 2.
And then you translate the J.Y.
You say John Young about to beat Taylor on WOD 2.
How does anyone watch your show Shut Up and Scribble if you don't read the comments?
Well, it's on YouTube, dude. How has that show passed up the views on all my shows you don't even know how to read pat lang taylor i doubted you never will again you're a beast wow
wow that's pretty big from pat lang and that's he's a biden support and he's a biden supporter
wow you support biden don't don't Don't actually believe in me, please.
You need all the support you can get.
No, dude, I don't want Biden support.
John Young didn't finish the third round of wall balls.
Sailor Telf. I just did that to fuck with Pat.
He's going to come at me hard now. We're about to fight.
You just feel it brewing.
Oh, yeah. Fuck Joe Biden! you just feel it brewing oh yeah did you hear joe biden was complaining about kids hey dude i'm getting fjb tattooed around
my cock with this thousand dollars you're gonna send me what fuck joe biden the initials fjb
it's gonna look really good in 30 years i don't know who that guy is yeah my thing's all wrinkly and saggy yeah uh pat lang i do not support biden
he's coming out exactly what a biden supporter would say yeah yeah pat
you guys know dude they're digging in him dude pat ignore him dude they do it to me
all the time the group chat listen, Pat's my nemesis.
There's nothing smart about you, Joe.
So we built the greatest economy in history.
We closed it down because of the China play.
And he wants to close down the, he will shut it down again.
He will destroy this country.
You can't fix the economy until you fix the COVID crisis.
And he has no intention of doing anything about making it better for you all at home.
No, people want their schools open.
They don't want to be shut down.
They don't want their state shut down.
Wow.
That was the longest soundbite.
That is such a long soundbite.
This guy's comment hurts my feelings so bad.
Taylor looked like Biden on that workout today. Damn, bro.
Sheesh.
Joe looked better when he fell off the bike.
Joe looked better when he fell off the bike.
He definitely fell way more gracefully, but I look
way better than that old fuck.
What a stupid son of a bitch.
Just stupid.
If CrossFit
had any sense in them, they would use
that video to promote CrossFit.
They won't.
It's too sensitive.
Too sensitive.
Dude, I was so proud to share that with Bear Hanlon today.
What did he say?
God, that's embarrassing.
I sent it to him and he didn't say anything.
With all the bodies in the background, dude.
Great CrossFit promotional video. video god wouldn't that be
crazy if you went to semi-finals and sarah fucking got you a fucking like a ford focus
rental car plane ticket and a fucking ford focus i want an escalate dude
ever since you talked about that on that show i want an escalate she'd be she'd be treating you
better than uh fucking 99 of the athletes there yeah i'm
i'm if i qualify for semifinals i'm gonna be on a fucking warpath you can guarantee that dude
check out uh spencer nelson northwest region what how come you can't just tell us that you
how come do i get these all day all day i get these and i'll look i'll be like what it's a 30
minute video like tell me like or sweat so tight that we can see his Pringle can like,
what's the deal? What are you looking at?
Dude, I had at least 75 people reach out.
And I looked and they're like, did you, everyone step it up on the corner.
Everyone step it up on the corner of the box.
No, we had that. Trust me.
Hey, when I call it, when, so I told you this story before taylor but when i when we first
started the taylor self versus the world i was like yeah taylor's gonna represent you guys and
he went over to your account he's like fuck this ding dong has eight followers on instagram like
dude don't worry and dude have you not represented like a beast i want to get to 10 000 followers so
i have a little dot after the 10 Oh dude Taylor is the savage one
He is
How about this
In this show
Jason Hopper got a full rebrand
I didn't see someone call him flopper once
You doubled down on your
Fucking image Taylor
By fucking breaking yourself off
Dalen only had one mislip when
fucking hopper called him racist in a post-fight interview and uh and he almost came out unscathed
just kept it you know the status quo oh i heard his youtube station's going off i heard he'd a
little behind the scenes and colton our hero our hero hero, uh, uh, evolved, uh, um, his heart evolved.
We, he actually has a friend now, the weirdest friend.
It's you.
Dude, we had such a cool weekend together.
I'm going to take him to an escape room tomorrow.
Me, Lizzie and him.
He's going to have to, he's going to have to do all the work himself with his fucking
tisamy brain because mine's still pudding.
Hey, listen, he's going to solve that.
He's going to solve that in three seconds.
It's not even going to be fun with him.
Yeah, we'll get breakfast with him.
Hey, dude, you know what he needs to do?
He needs to get a top hat and a fucking cane.
He does this thing with his lips that I've only seen Charlie Chaplin do.
What's that?
He does this, like, twitch here, like this.
He should get a Charlie Chaplin mustache and a top hat and a cane.
Oh, yeah, he does.
For the love of God, stop it with that premiere right now.
Don't do no crap.
Remove the premiere.
Yeah, Dallin.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Dude, his station's killing.
It premieres tomorrow.
Hey, dude, that's when I get 12 years sober tomorrow.
Oh, congratulations. No shit.
That's when they should change the title of this. You know your life's fucked when you're only 22 when I get 12 years sober tomorrow. Oh, congratulations. No shit. That's when they should change the title of this.
You know your life's fucked when you're only 22 and you're 12 years sober.
I'm 28.
Fuck you.
Would you rather be 12 years sober at 28 or have John Young's TV?
What TV?
He has a big ass TV.
No.
He's got a TV the size of this.
I'd definitely rather be 12 years sober at 28 than have that tv god is tv you you missed that bit that we did dude on john oh yeah you were
working john young showed us his living room and he's got this tv in there that's 32 inches and
sarah just came on and goes i'll buy him a new one oh my god is she really is she going to dude
i pulled it up yeah i pulled it up on amazon
and with that tv was like 89 jesus christ yeah every screen we're looking at right now has a
shot a real shot of being bigger than the tv and john young's living room hey let's watch a little
bit of dallin's video i want to see i want to see if i did a good job i thought they're pretty funny
oh the brew guy makes it for him yeah job i thought they're pretty funny oh the brew guy makes it for him
yeah i watched them they're pretty funny dude let me see let me see yeah are you sure that's
where you got day one i'm all over day one dude watch that one that one's pretty funny let's watch
him get baited it's about six hour drive nothing too crazy we went over to crash loosened up got
got a little bit of sweat painful workout he was good
he was good i keep the butcher knife out honestly pretty lucky with the programming also you had to
be fit and these guys are all really fit so i'm two competitions within this competition
one i need to set the best time you can get but then also first place is 5k between the four of
us i don't know there's colton seems
to be just doing this thing which was quite neat yeah that's really good um he's not gonna report
us caleb okay it looks good yeah like beautiful yeah we're sending you to him go watch this
dude these are cool hey if it's mike doing this, stop it with the premiere.
For the love of God.
Take that off and just put it up tomorrow
and tell people about it.
Yeah, I agree.
What does premieres do?
Why?
Why?
It doesn't do anything.
If you're not going to talk to the people in the comments section,
which they're not.
Basically, what Hillary's theory... It's not a's a theory it's not it's a concrete science
fact hillar has shared with all of us who have half a brain and we've all learned this from him
that basically if you do a premiere everyone just comments in the chat and you don't get comments in
the actual video in the comment section you might get 50 people in the chat talking to each other and they go away forever.
And so if you're not interested in building a community,
why would you do that?
I had diarrhea for about
30 hours.
Which you won't be.
You had diarrhea in that video?
Not in that video today.
For Taylor, you helped me get through quarters.
Oh, is your butthole sore?
Kenneth, you're wrong.
From the diarrhea?
Yeah.
No, it was like water.
Oh.
Nobody gets more views than I do on YouTube videos, Kenneth.
You're wrong.
Premieres are wrong.
It doesn't drive shit.
Fuck them up, dude.
Hiller, fuck them up.
Yeah, get them, Hiller.
One thing I know, and it's how to get views on YouTube,
and the Buttery Bros do better,
but they've also been making videos for their entire lives.
I'll sell it to you for five grand so I can feel like Jason and buy my Harley.
Sell what to you?
My Diary.
Diary.
DCs.
Have you seen the Hoarders video,
the Hoarders episode of the girl who hoards her own shit?
Dude, you got to go look that up on YouTube. Have you seen the hoarders video the hoarders episode of the girl who wards her own shit? It's crazy this woman lives in her own feces it's crazy
Did you have you seen the comments people fucking love you dude?
Who just the people in the comments listen to this my husband and I watched when I got off work tonight a classy date
Night on the couch with spicy wings after giving him a miraculous hand job so invested in
pulling for taylor that i had sauce all over my face i think she means from the chicken wings
it's not running out my nose but i could not be bothered with looking away from
until it was over also my husband loves ejaculating while watching you work out oh my god it's crazy
what is that is that is that a flashlight heads for the for a squat
you put a trash bag in it and some jelly and fuck it
why a trash bag are you what the dude that's how you made a flashlight in rehab
so that you could replace it you'd grab like the go ahead taylor go ahead you'd grab the empty uh
tube from a toilet paper roll and you could put like a
finish this is amazing you put a trash bag in it and you fill it up with grape jelly dude
Wow
Toilet paper roll
No I've never done that dude
Oh please
Oh please
He's only made them for his friends
Dude it feels just like Jason's butthole I swear
That is definitely done
Taylor My wife just hit 14 years sober 12 years congratulations That's awesome brother just like Jason's butthole. I swear. That is definitely done. Uh,
Taylor,
my wife just hit 14 years sober,
12 years.
Congratulations.
Thank,
that's awesome,
brother.
It's crazy,
dude.
A lot of humility.
I cried a little bit today when I thought about it.
That's a vision because of that.
That's because you're like emotionally tapped from the workout.
You'd have cried.
If you see the paper rule.
No,
dude,
I cried because like what,
what my life is like today versus what it
was 12 years ago. And also my best
friend fucking OD'd on fentanyl and that
could have been me 100%. That's
just crazy. Fair enough.
But you were emotionally susceptible today.
Wow, 20,000 views from the workout today already.
20,000.
Sheesh. I think we're good
you guys uh although we don't have a show scheduled
there is a show tomorrow morning 7am pacific standard time
I'm not gonna say one thing about CrossFit
so don't come if you wanna hear anything about CrossFit
it's all gonna be about
fucking how dumb
woke people are
dude I would love that talk about Biden some
yeah it'll be all that stuff.
Why my life?
No respect.
I don't get no respect at all.
Are you kidding?
And Rodney Dangerfield.
You don't even know who that is, huh, Hiller?
That's that dude from Caddyshack.
Wow.
Have you seen Caddyshack?
I didn't think you watched movies.
Oh, wow.
Dude, Caddyshack's a classic.
Oh, great.
I'm all in tomorrow. Fucking A. It's going to be a rough morning. Oh, wow. Dude, Caddyshack's a classic. Oh, great. I'm all in tomorrow.
Fucking A.
It's going to be a rough morning.
Oh, shit.
This guy likes to put jelly on my ass and ass pound me.
Dude, somebody DM'd me.
I shared some post and they DM'd me and like, you're a fucking Zionist.
I was like, dude.
I know exactly who that is.
Someone keeps calling me that too.
I'm like, dude, I don't even know what the fuck that word means.
Same guy.
Leave me the fuck alone.
Same guy, dude.
I got heated.
I was like, shut the fuck up.
Does the dude have an animated profile picture?
Yes.
Yeah.
Put the bong down, buddy.
Wow, how'd you know that, Caleb?
You must be a Zionist.
I must be.
Fuck.
Asymmetric ears, 477 days sober. Wow.
Oh, dude, look. That's awesome.
Bear just DM'd me.
He did?
He said, fuck yeah, dude.
I don't know how old you are, but you need to get your ass in the SEAL teams with that kind of toughness.
That's funny.
Holy shit.
Oh, wow.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You tell him I tried.
No, I'm not going to tell him that. He'll think I'm a bitch.
I know. That's why you never tell anybody like that shit. Well, I'm not going to tell him that. He'll think I'm a bitch. I know.
That's why you never tell anybody like that shit.
Well, I didn't even get a chance to try.
They were just like, no, you're a drug addict.
We don't fucking want you, you loser.
Steven Flores, two minutes over.
Hey, guys, am I a Zionist?
No one knows what the fuck that means.
Hey, do you want to know what Zionist is?
Zionist is the liberal term for k kike the liberals are fucking racist to
the fucking core and so they switch words around because they're afraid to say that they fucking
hate jews they came up with the word zionist because they're but really they just hate jews
and so instead of calling jews kikes they call them zionists now it's just a fucking workaround and that's it so so I'm not one
no
no dude
I've seen you around my kids you love Jews
yeah they're cool
I'll be going gold at his tennis tournament today
I didn't see it
is your wife Jewish?
fucking around with you fucking nuts
dude that's crazy are they going to take birthright ever?
what the fuck is birthright?
where they go to Israel and they fucking serve in the IDF, dude.
No.
You're not going to let them do that?
No.
They have to.
No.
Dude, they don't have to, Caleb.
My best friend did that.
They're going to go drink water out of some fountain in the middle of the Jew land?
No, dude. My best friend did that.
Listen to this.
My buddy did that.
My best friend did it, dude. He met this girl in the IDF, and he, let me just tell you,
is batting probably three fucking standard deviations out of his league with this girl.
Oh, dude, the beaver in Israel is fucking ridiculous.
Hey, here's the thing, though.
Those people, my poor kids, my wife, the Jews that my tribe, my wife's from is inbred as fuck.
And my tribe's inbred as fuck.
So we got, we just like two like crazy inbred people.
And then we made kids.
Dude, but your kids are, you have some gorgeous guys, dude.
They're great looking dudes.
They will be until they fucking turn 18 and puberty sets in.
They're going to be some hairy motherfuckers.
That's for sure.
You know, when you're Irish, you got to go out and kiss that rock on the side of the mountain?
No, tell me.
Go upside down and kiss the rock when you're Irish.
It's part of being Irish.
Hey, talk about inbred.
Have you been to Ireland?
No.
Yeah, Peter's inbred as fuck.
Even their dogs are inbred.
What kind of dog is that?
And they're like a golden retriever.
You're like, oh.
He's all fucking cross-eyed and shit. Yeah, the Blarney Stone. They're like a golden retriever. You're like, oh. He's all fucking cross-eyed
and shit.
Yeah, the Blarney Stone.
Yeah, that's what you gotta do when you're a Jew, but you gotta
go to Jerusalem.
I'll let you kiss my Blarney Stone.
Maybe they'll do it.
I don't know. I don't know. We like the
menorah. We get the Christmas tree.
I haven't chosen a religion yet.
Don't let them join the military. It's fucking dumb.
Thank you, Caleb.
Dude, I want to join the military so bad.
Wait, wait, let me read that.
Daniel Garrity.
I also did not have Taylor using standard deviation correctly on my bingo card.
That's why you don't win at bingo, bro.
Do you know the percentages?
Standard deviation.
I don't know the percentages. What is it, like 30? What is it, like 20, 40? I don't fucking't know the percentages what is it like 30 what is it like
20 40 i don't fucking know dude what is it one of them is 12.6 okay yeah i definitely don't know
that dude i dropped out of college what is i'd love to hear that story how long were you in
i was six credits away from my bachelor's degree and COVID.
Wow.
Wow.
I have an associate's degree,
but we,
uh,
I was six credits away and all those six credits were essentially like me
working 30 hours a week for free.
You know what I mean?
Like practicums,
shit like that.
Um,
I have a similar story to that.
That's interesting.
What was your major?
Social work.
Oh God.
Wow. Yep. That's why. So was your major? Social work. Oh, God. Wow.
Yep.
That's why.
So listen.
Well, dude, I worked at a rehab for a really long time, and I loved doing that.
But what I didn't realize is that when I majored in social work, they would just want me to
help all these fucking miserable fucks that don't want to help themselves.
And dude, I had more work experience in the field than half my professors, and they would
ask me questions about it, which was stupid.
So anyways, COVID hit. like more work experience in the field than half my professors and they would ask me questions about it which was stupid um so anyways covid hit all our shit went online and i was like fuck this i'm out i'm not sitting behind a computer 10 hours a day to listen to these woke idiots with
fucking pink hair talking about their feelings i was so i was so sick of it i ran this home for
disabled adults for five years all the there were 20 employees there and uh any anyone that uh came from the college
couldn't hack it for more than two weeks like anyone who was like a professional couldn't hack
it dude dude yeah they couldn't handle the practice they were just acting they they could
they were they were useless none zero i mean zero two weeks in they're like holy um yes i
i was at george mason And I transferred to UNCC Jesus Christ
Crossbat asks
Taylor, did you go to UNCC?
What's UNCC stand for?
University of College
And then Taylor responds with
No, I did not
Thank you for the fine question, Crossbat
No, I did go there
Oh, you did, okay
Yeah, University of College
The one where you watch your chick get banged by another stop dude this is the thing i wasn't
offended by that guy calling me that until i was like one i was caught off guard and i was like
that is like the most obscure but probably most offensive thing you could say to someone i'd
rather be called a cunt.
Wait a minute.
Who called you that?
Dude, it was all in the group chat.
I can't say it on the live.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Okay.
Oh, but it was kind of – that's a really cool exchange you guys had.
I don't want to – I just – I probably would feel wrong about sharing it.
No, I don't think you should share it either,
but I think it was a really cool exchange.
And I'm really impressed he came at you that hard aren't you i am too i kind of am but i'm not really impressed i'm not surprised hey dude it's totally out of character for him to come that hard i mean
not to come that hard but to come that vulgar and then but he was kind of defending some honor
you know he was oh and this is the funny. And then how you responded was great too.
And it was like you were like two guys who got in a fight,
and now you're friends.
Yeah, I responded with the eggplant fist emoji and the splash,
and I was like, who, you?
Do I know what this is about?
Am I missing something?
Maybe.
I don't know. Let me text text or just say it in the private chat
but hey what's crazy too is he didn't even give any context he just came at you like the way you
come at people no he responded to the story and was like okay and then he was in the chat for like
five minutes typing and retyping and then finally that came through and Lizzie was holding my phone.
I was driving.
She goes,
and I was like,
what did he say?
Yeah.
It's a good thing.
You did not say,
but it's good.
Oh,
it was so good.
The conversation was so good.
Yeah.
Both you guys went up and both of you,
I respected both of you more after that.
Incredibly offensive and awesome.
Yeah.
It was, it was a wild exchange.
Really only something you can say to Taylor.
Hey, and you know, it's kind of crazy to Taylor that, that workout that like all the shit
talking like, uh, you know, if someone hates themselves, but they tell you they love you,
like, you know, it's bullshit. Like if you they love you like you know it's bullshit
like if you don't love yourself you ain't fuck sure as fuck ain't giving anyone else any fucking
love right right look at all the shit you fucking talk fuck you i'll beat your ass fuck you you're
a cuck you're a bitch blah blah blah and then you just went out and kicked your own fucking ass
today in front of the fucking world you just like like did you see the symmetry there you're like
yeah it's it's just fucking brilliant what we've witnessed you put yourself through today like
fuck it this is what i do i just fucking kick ass i beat people's asses i beat my own ass like
accidentally i have a feeling that you're the kind of guy if there's a if there's a fight in a in a
at a party or in a bar a couple and you start punching people, you punch a couple of your friends too.
Like, you're just like, fuck it, some dude.
No, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just dudes just start getting punched.
Yeah, you just start punching dudes.
I definitely jump in, but I'm not punching my friends.
I mean, not on purpose.
Just like, hey, like we're fighting.
Some dudes are going to get punched.
No, I'm a purposeful puncher.
Well, you fucking did it today.
You fucking ko'd yourself
ko'd yourself punch yourself that's what colton said he said it looked like i got ko'd at a ufc
fight my sister called and she goes dude that's what she said she said he looked like he was
fucking punch drunk fucking during that whole last 20 hey i knew it was really bad when you didn't show up for the interview. Yeah, I couldn't. I wanted to.
Man.
Thomas Graves, Hiller, why do you have bunk beds?
You don't know? Him and his girl haven't
fucked in two years.
Shut up!
I've been ripping my hair out.
He's got a Milano
tan and his cock's fucking thick as a
fucking Coke can now
oh my god
what is that a pencil shaver pencil sharpener yeah hey tell us something crazy about will lahey
like does does he have like does he have some like weird collection of beanie babies or
fucking does he always do this before he eats dinner
like what sound does he make when he jerks off he um the second he's done eating he immediately
goes and sits in the chair that he sits in that he'll sit there for 90 minutes until his next
training session and so like we're sitting there eating food it's me him his chick and his buddy
and he like shoots up from the table immediately,
and he goes and he sits in his chair.
He goes, yeah, I got to relax before my next training session.
And then I look over at his chick, and she goes, yeah,
he just kind of does that.
It's built into him now.
Wow.
He's been rewatching the CrossFit Games event by event from 2007 on forward.
So this is the thing, dude.
Right before I got hurt in those are two things
20 you're right right right before i got hurt in 2022 i was like that it was like okay if if i
thought these extra 30 minutes of sleep were gonna like make my knee feel better the next day i'd
sacrifice whatever it took and the thing is 39 people on each side don't make those sacrifices
and they make the games tia and matt are the only two people i know of who acted like that and i
don't know i just don't think it's like colton was telling me about him fucking working dude
he can make the games and be top 20 fucking on, on six hours of sleep working on a fucking pig farm 10 hours a day.
I don't know.
What if he had nine hours?
I fucked up.
I accidentally paid fees to go off of your fucking prize money when Glinton
podcast was supposed to pay it.
I just realized that.
Sorry.
Sorry for interrupting.
Go on.
No, I don't, I don't know. I, to be honest, I don't know. I. Sorry for interrupting. Go on. No,
I don't,
I don't know.
I,
to be honest,
I don't know.
I think it's just,
uh,
for me,
nothing changed other than I was like,
all right,
my entire life isn't this.
It's not my whole identity.
And I'm going to be fine if I get six hours of sleep because I coach a
morning class for five hours.
It doesn't make a difference.
But what changed?
The only thing that changed and makes a difference is my mental approach to
it.
If I think that it's going to give me a shit day,
I have a horrible day. If I'm like it i'm fine i'm fine i have some of
my best training days when i feel like shit oh shit sarah cox is 36th in the world in masters
that's crazy venmo requested back seven what oh someone said someone said Venmo requested back
Whatever
Did she get 2k?
She got a thousand
Dude the fucking people donated a thousand dollars
For Lindsay Lane too
Wow
Good for her
She made more than Fee then?
No Fee made a thousand and Lindsay Lane made a thousand
And then Born Primitive gave them each $300 gift card
Oh Crazy they just threw that in at the last minute People get excited with this shit and Lindsay Lane made $1,000 and then Born Primitive gave them each $300 gift card.
Crazy. They just threw that in at the last minute.
People get excited with this shit.
I gotta eat again. What should I have?
Pizza.
Fuck that. I wish you guys lived closer so you could come watch the fights with me.
Dude, I want to hang out so bad
I can't wait for the West semi-final
We're going to talk so much shit
I think that there's a chance that this dude Ryan Garcia
Is going to walk out there in the middle of the fight
And not even fight
He's going to say something like hey I devote my life to God
I'm now a monk or something
This could be the biggest pay-per-view event in boxing history
And I think he could like
He's capable of doing anything weird You You don't think so, Caleb?
We might see something really weird,
dude. He didn't make weight.
He's been acting so weird. He doesn't look
like he's been training.
Yeah, he looks like trash.
Daniel Garrity.
Taylor. Hi.
You gained a ton of fans this week. Great job
and good luck getting to semis.
You're a legit
Fuck Joe Biden
Oh and one final thing Taylor
When you do your show shut up and scribble
Before you answer the comments read them
Jackass
I'm gonna learn
No it's not harsh you're right
Oh look at Dan Guerrero
Jesus I never agree with Dan
100% agree on Garcia Sevan
Yeah something weird is gonna happen I hope he does do that
I hope he goes out there and goes
I devote my life to Jesus or some shit
Fuck you guys
But that beer drinking thing was kind of weird
Dude shut up pool boy
Floyd Pacquiao was a fucking joke
I'd rather watch Anderson Silva break his fucking leg
Across Chris Weidman's shin
Oh listen to this
Look at CrossFat.
Wow.
I'm not going to read that.
That's a great comment.
God, I would never want to be called Tuck Boy.
Is that how I should refer to him next time I see him in person?
John Hung.
Yeah, John.
I think the exact same thing.
John Hung says, I think Taylor got the vax and that's the only explanation for today.
Dude, I didn't get any vaccines as a kid.
You got triple boosted.
Dude, I've never been vaccinated.
Your wife made you get triple boosted before she married you.
No shot.
I'd never put a jab in my arm.
I've done it.
Can you imagine?
The government tells me something to do.
That's why you don't join the military.
Oh, dude.
But, yeah.
But, I mean, I see that perspective.
But there's also a wider range of –'s like a spectrum you know it's a
it's a dial not a switch caleb as my wife likes to say i i i had a i had a i had a friend today
close friend of mine who didn't get the injection and her fucking whole family fucking disowned her
and shit and then today she told me that uh her sister got bell's palsy. Jesus. I know. I want to see Bell's palsy.
I want to see what the increase in that is.
I bet you it's like...
Go ahead.
John Hung says,
he gets jabbed in the ass and said,
that's correct.
Take it in the rear.
Bell's palsy, huh?
Bell's palsy characterized by muscle weakness
that causes one half of the face to droop
It usually resolves and it's only within six months
That's what Hafthor Bjornsson had
Oh, wow
And you know he got the injection
That's another reason I love
But, yeah, sure
That's another reason I love
Yeah, it's a 300% increase
As soon as the COVID vaccine came out
Over the next three years It had a 300% increase in Bell's palsy yeah it's a 300 increase as soon as the covid vaccine came out over the next three years
at a 300 increase in bell's palsy what's the what's the increase in autism from when they
ramped the childhood vaccine schedule up oh god it's insane it was one in 10 000 now it's like
one in 30 kids get it it's crazy maybe worse than that uh wow listen to this JJ Big Taylor Swift fan He's hard as dick
You know what I like
These people who like you speak your same love language
You know what I mean
Should I make that my Instagram bio
Hard as dick
That's what Goggins should go with dude
Hard as dick
Hey someone needs to send Goggins that and be like, you ever done this shit?
Dude, if he reposted me, that would be a dream come true.
You cannot imagine how many hours of fucking books I've read on him and listened to him on podcasts.
Hey, the hottest girl in the world who listens to this podcast, she's a friend of mine.
And Goggins has been up in her dms trying to get with her goggins was in her dms yeah yeah dude tell her three times divorced
tell her to send him uh my video your dick pic no dude well yeah he'd probably like that
she sent me a screenshot the other day him all up in her dms that's crazy i
wouldn't expect him as a dmr i didn't i was surprised too i didn't i thought like once you
reach a certain level you don't you don't do that but maybe maybe that maybe you do do that maybe
that's the maybe that's the benefit of reaching a certain level dude listen to what this guy just
sent me he goes hey just watch the sebon podcast review
the symptoms you described sound like severe lactic acidosis should we look that up caleb
look that up it sounds like what you said yeah you already you you um diagnose yourself but i
want to know what that is now okay i mean you described it great i don't even know what lactic
i don't even think i've ever felt lactic acid buildup.
Yeah, not when you ride the ESL bike for 30 minutes every day.
I did some burpees today.
Lactic acid doses occurs when lactic acid production exceeds lactic acid clearance.
The increase in lactic production is usually caused by impaired tissue oxygenation.
Oh, someone said that in the comments
too what and what are the symptoms either from decreased oxygen wait let me finish reading that
either increase from oxygen delivery or a defect in mitochondrial oxygen utilization
this is a fancy schmancy way of saying what taylor said with a name to it hey so you were
kind of suffocating dude i feel like i have a tummy ache and someone goes you have a tummy achidosis so you were kind of suffocating you were having
problems uh um because of all the lactic acid it sounds like you were having problem uh taking in
oxygen into your cells maybe that's exactly what it was that's crazy your tummy can't clear itself
fast enough that's crazy dude i can give myself myself lactic acid oh muscle ache burning rapid breathing nausea stomach pain
If you experience the unpleasant feeling of lactic acidosis, you likely remember lactic acidosis caused by intense exercise is usually temporary
It happens when too much acid builds up in your bloodstream
You go to the hospital for that you should make a video on lactic acidosis. Hey the way I felt
Dude, listen. Listen listen listen oh did you
am i retarded no i mean like for it's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard in my life
this this this this name really it's completely made up it's you say it hillary go go whenever
you can't do anything it's it should be determined lactic acidosis it's like
oh i can't i can no longer do air squats i have out lactic acidosis it's like why well my legs
aren't functioning because there's too much i can't clear the lactic acid anymore give the
example that is i ate too much food my stomach hurts i got tummy achidosis but dude it's severe
okay you can eat to the point where you can't eat anymore and keel over and die from it.
Yeah, that's severe.
That's retarded.
Well, dude, I'm just saying.
No, it's a name.
Hey, Vindicate, you made that video today, Taylor.
That's a good point, too.
Dude, I've never taken a painkiller in the knee surgeries I've had.
And I wanted probably a bottle of oxy today
that's how i felt just rail it snort it i didn't actually have that thought no boof it shove it up
your butt like a suppository oh it hits way harder to do that have you ever done that like taking a
shot of vodka up your butthole no wow but but so many people people have talked about it, dude.
Well, no, I just think you'd be the person to do it.
I don't think I knew that it was like a thing,
and I didn't need to get to that point yet.
But I knew people who like would soak a tampon in vodka
and jam that sucker up their...
Up their who-a?
Up their vagina?
Up their pink taco. Oh. oh pet's right i do hate all
science uh lucky camera straps sorry guys just got here but wanted to say taylor you are a beast
and this whole series was awesome thanks thank you lucky camera straps
i can see oh there's a here there's a term for it justin liang uh butt chugging yeah the buttery bros There's a term for it, Justin Liang Butt chugging
Yeah, the buttery bros are gonna run a marathon
At Red Mill and every mile, like butt chug a bottle of wine
Or something
No, they're not
They did it recently
They butt chugged wine
No, they ate donuts
Look at this
Friend of mine did an eyeball shot of vodka
Wow
Dude, people shoot dope in between their toenails and in their freaking dick, dude.
Wow.
You ever shoot dope in your dick, Savon?
No.
Sorry, this show is going way off track.
Is this the CrossFit Games update show?
Wow.
Hey, I bet if Ricky used his steroids that way, he never would have gotten caught.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm just saying.
Right in the 40 up the D. Up the ding dong. He never would have gotten caught. Oh my goodness. I'm just saying up the D up the ding dong.
There's no evidence of it.
It stays in your cock and it just grows to a massive size.
Oh God.
I think Hebrew has pinned to the top of his profile.
It goes,
I was fired for being too good at my job.
And then I immediately turned on YouTube and saw him eating donuts on a
treadmill.
I was like,
Oh my God, Seth page anywhere. There is a working vein is fair game taylor oh god that's funny
i'm getting breakfast with colton in the morning me and lizzie gonna buy breakfast on me
he made 1500 they split the money that was fucking lame who split the money. That was fucking lame. Who split the money?
Colton and Dallin.
Oh, did they both tie?
Yeah, but there should have been a way to figure that out.
Oh, I might be running inside the house here.
I would have really liked it, Taylor. Oh, no. Two more fights.
Two more fights.
Oh, no, two more fights.
Two more fights.
Dale, do you think you can run a marathon under three hours?
Right now?
Fuck no.
Maybe I could.
I could hurt bad enough, too, but I don't know if my body would shut down.
I don't think my body would shut down for a marathon. I think it would just hurt like fuck. When Bill
was at TFX,
John Young competed at it recently. His roommate
here, Colin, did a marathon
on the treadmill.
One of the nights they were there, because there was a treadmill
there.
It took him like five
and a half hours, I believe. That sounds miserable.
Like on an air runner or a motorized one?
I think it was motorized.
That's wild.
Without like any training, he just did it.
Is that zone two?
For him, yeah, I'm sure.
He got 218 on that wall ball run.
Pretty good.
Hey, did I beat Dave in that workout?
Wait, so everyone who beats dave gets a free pair
of go rucks shoes that doesn't even make it they can't you're entered to win a single pair
fuck that send me a pair of go rucks dave
oh that's zone 1.8 okay that makes sense
mars got buttfucked hey hey Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Okay sorry
Whoa
He's reading
Hey hey
I'm doing what you told me to do
Hey hey
Wow
The thing is I already got butt fucked by her already once
I don't want i don't want
her texting me again and fucking tearing me up jeez goodness gracious
all daily doses is right now he's just
i almost read that all the way through good stop good stop dude thank you someone's putting his
wiener away.
Okay, we're going to go to bed.
I'm out of control.
I love you guys.
Thanks for having me on.
Thanks for the opportunity.
All right, Taylor.
Thank you.
Dude, great work.
Bye, Taylor.
Good job.
Thanks for coming on, dude.
We need a pizza.
Taylor Self, barely alive, but alive.
Okay.
Hello.
Hi.
What happened to the CrossFit Games update show?
We did.
We did. We did.
Hour and a half.
We did.
Next time we have a show, I'm just going to have porn on the TV over here,
and I'll be talking about it the whole time.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
There's these two hot chicks on the screen right now.
You won't believe it.
You're not going to believe what I'm looking at.
Who's putting the pressure on you, Seve?
Me. I put the pressure on myself.
All right.
Thanks for coming on. Thank you, Caleb.
Sure.
I'm going to go inside and watch the fight
Guys thanks for joining in
Love you guys
Great great great historic
In the sense of
What Abraham Lincoln did
Comparable
The vampire slayer
Yes the vampire slayer
Absolutely amazing
Good movie
Can we get Will a real switcher
what was wrong with that switcher it was
great yeah it was awesome talk to you
guys soon love you guys okay thank you
bye bye