The Sevan Podcast - I’ll show you the way | Live Call In - Special Guest Tim Murray CrossFit Games Champion
Episode Date: November 29, 2023Welcome to this episode of the Sevan Podcast! Register for CrossFit for Health Summit HERE - https://www.crossfitforhealthsummit.com/?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.crossfitforhealthsummit.com%2Fa%2F214771978...8%2FezYHjNhB 3 PLAYING BROTHERS - Kids Video Programming https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://capeptides.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE SHIPPING https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://swolverine.com/ - THE SUPPLEMENTS I TAKE! BIRTHFIT Programs: Prenatal - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/w... Postpartum - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/w... Codes (20% off): Prenatal - SEVAN1 Postpartum - SEVAN2 https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS https://www.vndk8.com/ - OUR OTHER SHIRT https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER 3 PLAYING BROTHERS - Kids Video Programming https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Ooh, I can hear the phone beating again this morning.
Great phone, great phone.
Good morning, bam, we're live, Devesh.
The Hammer, Maharaj.
Jeffrey Birchfield, good morning.
Good morning.
Wheelwad's coming up.
I saw that Tim Murray had made a post.
Tim Murray's CrossFit Games champ.
I don't know if they call it the short stature division or if that's what I say to make fun of it.
I can't even remember.
My shit's all twisted up.
Or if they call it the dwarf division.
I don't even remember.
But anyway, he's been on the show before. Cool as and then i a cool dude and then i saw he made a post
a few weeks ago that he had gone three years without drinking i was like no shit and when i
talked to him i was kind of uh disappointed that either i'd forgotten that story about him or i was
kind of disappointed in the fact that i didn't dig that out of him when I heard him say that on his Instagram.
So I'm like, I got to have that dude back on and hear about that story.
Dude, talk about some fucking cliche shit.
If he was drunk, if he was an Irish drunk dwarf, that's crazy.
That's some cliche shit.
That's like this cliche is like 15 black dudes robbing an Apple store.
It's like crazy, crazy cliche.
That's as cliche as an Armenian credit card stealing scam.
You know what I mean?
Thank you, Citibank.
Thank you very much, Citibank.
I'm kind of happy when that Citibank story broke. I don't know if you guys remember, but a couple weeks ago, Citibank – I'll pull it up for those of you guys who don't remember.
Citibank got caught for having – oh, Citibank Armenian.
Citibank, a few – I don't know, a few weeks ago, a few days ago a few days ago shit let's just say the other day
um city bank employees called them armenian bad guys and canceled their accounts
and i just love this um when mary uh sabachian that's an armenian name started hearing rumors
a few years ago that city bank was closing the accounts accounts of Armenian Americans in San Fernando Valley she thought it was impossible a giant
Wall Street bank would never do that I've told I told you guys the story right I told you guys
the story even before this story broke that I sat down with the vice president of one of the
largest banks in Southern California Jew lady and she's like yeah we don't have money to Armenians
like she just straight up told me and I just love that because um it's like, yeah, we don't lend money to Armenians. Like she just straight up told me. And I just love that because it's like.
When you're when you're black.
When you black skin in this era, you think people are being racist to you, but no one is.
It's actually worse for everyone else.
It's actually worse for white people.
Everyone's actually overcompensating to be uh nice to black people like if the cops pull you over and you're a black
person and you think that they're being harsh to you dude it's a hundred times worse for black dudes
or white dudes i'm gonna repeat that again if you're black and the cops pull you over and you
think that they're being harsh to you you have to remember it's a hundred times more harsh if you're
a white dude they're overcompensating for you everyone's overcompensating
for you and i just like it that i just like it that i just like all this shit you know what i
mean like i went and visited my my grandparents home that the turks ran out during a real genocide
not this bullshit that fucking tank talks about i got i got i got real racist
shit going on last week from city bank and black people complaining i got real shit i'm armenian
i'm a black armenian i got real racist shit and i'm but i'm but i'm proud of it it's like exciting
to me thank you oh thank you i'm a champion for all for all marginalized
people i got little jew boys my wife doesn't want me talking about that on the air i mean i am the
walking fucking like if just if some pictures would surface with a dick in my mouth i could
get crazy gay coverage too. Crazy gay coverage.
I don't want anyone photoshopping that either, please.
It's not authentic.
I don't want it making the web.
Someone, can I put you down as a reference on my resume?
I don't know.
What did you say to me yesterday?
You said something to me yesterday that pissed me off, Robbie.
You really pissed me off.
Nothing more pisses me off than misunderstanding me.
I'm an Armenian.ian with jew kids with blacks with a black with black
with black cultural uh deep black cultural roots what other shit do i got i'm short
but back to tim murray could he really possibly have been a dwarf Irish alcoholic?
Fucking crazy.
But he's coming on. I'm stoked.
He's coming wheel wide.
And then yesterday and then a couple days ago, he a really passionate um post about his um his
grandfather so i figured you know what let's have this fucking dude on we had a jedediah
tolis wheel wads coming up he said it's like the premier shit for uh dudes with missing parts and
shit like that so the premier uh competition and um it looks like the wheel wad look at this The premier competition. And.
It looks like the wheel wad.
Look at this.
Shit.
Their shit's up.
It looks like this adaptive event is.
This shit's on YouTube already.
Going live.
I'll notify me.
Thank you.
Subscribe with all notifications turned on.
How does this account only have 831 subscribers?
Anyway, I'm pumped.
I kind of wish I was going. I would actually like to go.
If this was by my house, I would go to this.
I would go just to see Tim Murray and Jedediah.
I'm more interested in watching the,
I'm more interested in watching the people with missing pieces compete then.
Like dwarves and, like Jedediah's got all his pieces.
Kinda.
I guess not really.
But I like what my brain trips out.
Like if I see someone just with one arm.
Like I can't fully process it.
I don't know if I'm in denial or what.
But I like watching those dudes.
What was the guy's name who ended up going to SoulCycle?
He was cool as shit. Logan. What was the guy's name who ended up going to SoulCycle? He was cool as shit.
Logan.
What a trip.
Oh, dude, dude.
Holy cow, dude, Travis, dude.
Wait till I send you the pictures.
This is a kid-sized jersey.
Travis sent me three of these and my kids put
these on yesterday and we went in the gym and got at it and we're working out dude these are insane
if you have my son is probably four foot two inches tall uh avi if you have a kid who's four
feet tall to five feet tall you want one of these i don't even know if they sell these dude they are sick he looks so
gangster in it he looks buff in it yeah these are sick these turned out so good dude um you were
saying that mine was special because the letters were raised i kind of like this one better
not kind of i do like this one better i mean i'm appreciative that you sent me all of it. Oh, this is my new sweatshirt you sent me too.
It's cold in my office this morning.
It's crazy to think Dave and I were in here sweating like pigs.
What was I saying?
Anyway, I don't know if those are for sale.
I hate getting clothes for Christmas. I'd be stoked if I got a CEO shirt.
Pumped.
I am pumped.
I was pumped when all that shit came yesterday.
Hey, there's some sweatshirts in there, Travis.
I can't tell if those are for my wife or my kids.
My kids put them all on, but I was like, these are probably for my wife.
You know?
Let's see if I can turn the phone back on.
Oh, here we go.
Here's Travis right here.
Oh, is it working?
Travis.
Hey.
Maybe it's working.
Maybe it's not.
Maybe it is.
How can I help you? That whole,
that whole package has a bunch of miscellaneous stuff in it.
The warehouse accidentally sent me a bunch of random stuff that I didn't order.
So I put them to use. Oh, that's awesome. Whoever can wear them,
whoever can wear them can wear them. Okay, cool. Okay. Hey, the J okay.
Then let me be critical about something. I loved everything.
I wanted a zip up sweatshirt and you sent me one. Was that an accident?
No. Oh, I meant to send you that.
Just to see if you, how you liked it.
I just, I, you're going to hate me for this,
but I wanted to say CEO across the zipper. I know that's a pain in the ass.
Huge pain in the ass. I can try it, but the problem is you'll end up with a pain in the ass. Huge pain in the ass. Huge. I can try it.
But the problem is you'll end up with a gap right down the middle of the logo.
Right.
Like there won't be space right.
Right.
Yeah.
Let me send you some that I have where it does go across the middle.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll take a look at it.
Yeah, I know it's a pain.
But it looks so much.
It would look.
I know it's a pain, but it looks so much better. It would look...
I have some extras, so I can give it a try.
Okay.
I'll do it.
Hey, remind me to call you later.
There's this thing I'm working on with Dale King.
And when I say I'm working on it, he's doing all the work.
I'm so fucking excited about it.
Cool.
Yeah.
Let me know. I really wanted a it cool yeah let me know i really wanted
us so there's two two products i really uh wanted a soap and this other product
i haven't cracked the code ceo soap i like that but there's this other soap there's this other
product that's not soap that i'm really excited about that i talked to him about the other day
i'm so pumped it's not going to be minty soap that makes your butthole tingle is it nope nope
so pumped it's not going to be minty soap that makes your butthole tingle is it nope okay thank you for asking some people might like that some people like that
gina's asking if there'll be ceo stuff at legends uh yes that's cool there will be some ceo stuff
at legends you and greg should stop by pa Paulina and I are going to be there.
Hey, if I'm there.
Oh, Jay Hartle, a CEO dildo.
No, although I would run that by Dale.
I'm not a toy guy.
I'm not a dildo or vibrator guy at all.
Dildo soap?
It just gets smaller, though.
That's the problem.
I wonder how big the dildo market is in the United States.
What do you...
Dildo market. It the United States. What do you, what do you, uh, uh, dildo,
uh,
market.
It's probably bigger than you think.
Um,
wow.
Wow.
A sex toy market size has grown.
Uh,
is it,
uh,
global sex toys market size to surpass a 75 billion.
Dude,
that's crazy.
Probably spiked two years ago.
During COVID. Uh, dude that's probably spiked two years ago during covid uh-huh
i'm so i wonder what the i wonder what the um what the uh that 75 how much is for men and how
much is for women i just can't imagine dudes being interested in toys at all we're so simple
dudes are weird though i know but like like weird like paper towel roll
weird not like like go out like like you're gonna get in your car and go down to the flashlight
like you're yeah like you're gonna go on amazon somewhere and in order like i don't know dudes
are weird it wouldn't surprise me i don't know i don't know there's a lot of women that probably
wouldn't surprise us either though what they might have in their nightstand.
They want dudes to do, some women want dudes to do weird shit to them.
Mm-hmm.
Probably because of weird shit men have done to them.
In the past, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
That's a whole other show.
I don't even know what a fleshlight is
I'm going to look that up really quick
So every time someone says it on the show
I know exactly what it is
You guys were talking about
Do you remember Aubrey Marcus
Were you guys talking about him the other day
The guy who started on it
I think he's the one who started fleshlight
He invented it
I'm on their website
I know he worked there Is is this is this what a pocket
pussy is it literally looks like a flashlight yeah with a vagina on one end a plastic vagina
yeah and you just put your penis in there i guess I guess. Hey, dude, they have one.
You ready for this, Travis?
Did I lose you?
I lost you.
They have one.
Did I lose you?
Oh, of course.
Hey, it dropped you.
The Rodecaster dropped you.
Hello?
Are you back?
No, I'm back.
I'm here.
Okay.
They have one that's called the stamina training unit.
Oh my goodness, dude.
They have one that's shaped like a butthole.
Ew.
Instead of a vagina.
This is incredible.
Dudes are weird.
I just, like, if you use that, do you just get desensitized
like 100%
listen to this
they have something called a sleeve
warmer so that you put your
fleshlight on you slip
it over it before you use it
so it warms it up so your penis
doesn't get cold
you know they're selling them
that's the scary part
god I kind of wish I'd never seen
somebody wants a cold wiener
oh my wait
they have ones that are supposedly
certain girls
vaginas
oh like modeled after yeah
universal launch late uh quick shot launch what is that quick you find your you find your favorite
porn star and then you can order her yeah parts oh god i can't believe i'm gonna click this they
have something called dudes your search history is just going through the roof they have something called the quick launch quick shot quick launch
i wonder what this is uh
how long does it take you that you need a quick launch
different stroke length I wonder what
this thing is product information the quick launch offers a fully automated
flashlight experience for use with your quickshot toys the quickshot launch
control lengths controls the length of your strokes as well as the speed oh so
it's a more advanced oh so this thing Wow shit, you're not you're not controlling it. Good lord. Oh
Sean M says hang up on this guy. That's rude
The universal smart phone mount on top gives you the option of viewing your favorite content while both hands on your controls.
Oh, shit.
Good Lord.
Like fully automated?
Dude, this thing is, I have to show you guys this thing.
This thing is crazy.
Here we go.
Sorry if you have kids at home.
This thing is nuts.
They might not even know what it is.
So you hold, I don't know if you can see that thing but you hold that thing
by two handles my god do you see that thing
how much does it say this this is
152 goodness oh cheaper than a hooker Bye thank you Travis
Alright bye
God
Yo
What's up
You're not in your car
No not today
New venue
Hello office finally
Hey in that video
When I asked you to come on yesterday I didn't think you were going to be able to come on Because in that video i when i asked you to come on yesterday i didn't
think you were going to be able to come on because in that video i thought that um you were already
at wheelwod no i leave uh tomorrow morning okay hey where do you live again tim i live just outside
of cincinnati and okay and then um and then where's a wheelwod It's in Raleigh. Oh, right.
North Carolina.
Is that drivable?
Yeah, it's about eight hours.
Is that what you're doing?
Yeah, because I looked at flights and layover, between layovers and stuff, it would have been the same distance minus the cost.
So I was like, why not just drive down and get out of the car when I want to versus, you know, sitting in an airport.
Yeah.
Do you do that by yourself or do you roll in with somebody?
I'm going to do it myself this go around.
I was going to take my coach with me, but he has finals the week after their wheel one.
So he didn't want to like rush finals finals like rush to get back for finals and stuff
like finals like school shit yeah so this is cincinnati up here that i'm circling with my
arrow for people who don't know and then he's going to drive uh i guess you're going to go
you go through west virginia yeah i'll be through west virginia um then like probably parts of
virginia and into carolina oh and it'll be a nice drive,
right? Yeah, it's all
minus
50 miles of it
or so, give or take, is at least
one back country road.
And no snow?
No. It's cold
as all get out right now. It's about 25 degrees
outside right now.
Dang.
Hey,
are you,
um,
I had jetted eye on here.
Um,
he,
I think he,
I think he won the,
uh,
CrossFit games for his division.
Yeah.
Wheelchair.
You know,
do you know,
uh,
just through social media.
I don't know him personally yet.
I'll be able to meet him here soon.
I hope.
What's your take on,
um, the on the, what's the word, not accolades.
What's more prestigious, to win Wheelwod for you or to win the CrossFit Games?
I mean, obviously winning the CrossFit Games, like you get the title,
fittest on earth, like it just comes with the you know just the winnings uh but um like I'm happy like I'm glad to finally be going to
Wheelwalk because I can actually compete in person versus you know only doing it virtually the past
two years so yeah it'd be nice to actually stack up and see everybody else versus like, you know, waiting for scores to come in.
Yeah. I, I, I wish I could remember his answer,
but I think it was something like that too. I think he was more like, uh,
he liked the, he liked having the title CrossFit games, I think he said,
but like, he knows that like winning wheel watt is more like, yeah,
you actually, you did something. Yeah.
And the dudes are there and you got to compete. And he has 10 dudes in his class.
How many do you have?
I think we have five, five or six.
And will they be all dudes you faced before?
Yeah.
They've all been, like, in the CrossFit Games, like, throughout the wheel lot.
Like, last year's, like, wheel lot semifinals.
I didn't go to the finals last year because i was working
with a hockey team and i was right in the middle of our season you didn't go to what finals the
wheel wide one yeah oh no shit yeah oh shit i made it i just didn't get to go because i think we were
on the road like a big road trip that weekend so i was like i can't take off to go and have fun in the middle of
hockey season you go and have fun that's a funny way of having fun it was that hard did that bum
you out were you like fuck yeah because like I you know I wanted to go like I made it I went that far
and like you know I would have enjoyed being there but I mean I loved working hockey too so
it's kind of like a win-win, if you will.
Like if I win, I was going to have fun and everybody was going to understand.
But, you know, if I didn't go, then here I am playing hockey
or working hockey, like hanging out with the guys.
What do you do for the hockey team again?
I was their athletic trainer.
And how old are they?
and how old are they um anywhere from it's like 18 to i think the oldest guy was 33 he just turned 34 we'll be turning to 34 this year and are you still doing that no i uh i left back in april
um i was offered a job that paid me too much more money too much money to turn down. So, I mean, now I get to go to Wheelwod
and compete in all these different events now,
which is kind of a bummer,
but this economy right now, money's hard to pass up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
Hey, did you have to move to get that money,
or it's your hours changed?
My hours changed.
I actually get to stay in the same place.
I mean, I work 40-hour weeks, no nights, no weekends, no travel.
So that's kind of hard to pass up.
Hey dude, I've heard discussion about what's the best placement for an off season competition.
And people like, I've heard a lot of people like say yeah rogue's the best because
it's it's a long time before the open comes but psychologically it's kind of a bear because
you're still a little scarred from from the games you like the spot where wheel watt is
uh i mean i wouldn't mind it being like maybe a little bit earlier like kind of like right before thanksgiving because like
i mean wheel watt ends and then it's maybe you get like a week off two weeks at most to get start
getting ready for the open so i mean i think obviously i think it used to be earlier but they
could only get the venue like at this time like this was the best time to get the venue
how about this how about this was another best time to get the venue how about this how
about this was another interesting thing i hadn't thought of until jedediah was on here but you you
guys are gonna lose a comp you used to have two prestigious competitions for a minimum i don't
know what else you guys have in your ecosystem but you had wheel wad which i think just about
everyone who's like games fanatic knows now.
And then you had the game.
So you had two, right?
Now it sounds like you're only going to get one now.
Is it worth the tradeoff since you guys get to compete in person?
Or what's the deal?
And I say that, but the truth is I haven't actually talked to anyone at Wheelwod.
So for all we know, they might bring it back.
I'm just going off.
Yeah, I don't know how they're going to do wheelwad um i know wheelwad
is like running the games side of it now so like we're going to have the open then we'll have i
think quarters and semis so it's going to be the same process as everybody else with an in-person
finals but i don't know if like that's going to take over wheel watt or if wheel watt is going to
like still be its own thing like as a qualifying event type of deal because i mean it's hard for
me i got i mean on my mind it's hard to take that away especially when you have a built-in
like qualifier already yeah yeah so i mean i don't like they haven't really given much information
as far as what that's like going to look like next year but you don't know where I don't, like I said, they haven't really given much information as far as what that's going to look like next year.
You don't know where, you don't know the dates.
I did hear, I don't know if this is true either, I did hear it has to be within, I don't know if this, I've just made this up.
I heard it somewhere.
It has to be within, those events will be within three weeks of the games.
Meaning the adaptive, the age.
Was there another one um whatever whatever the other ones are that split off from the games there has to oh teen teen yeah yeah so uh i mean
that makes sense like the way i would see that is like it's like the paralympics and olympics
are all two weeks apart um so like the olympics are like next year that we hosted in paris and then the
paralympics come in like two weeks to a month after so if it's like that that's awesome i think
that's a great setup sorry i had left the ceo dildo up the whole time you've been very, very, very unprofessional.
We shoot for excellence here at the stuff.
Hi, you're welcome. Yeah. Thank you, Rocky. Thank you.
Robbie Myers, you get all the credit for putting my dildo back under my desk.
Hey, you, you'd made this post a couple of weeks ago ago i saw that you'd been sober for three years
and i don't remember i don't remember talking to you about that in the past dude that's a crazy
cliche dude tim murray the drunk dwarf yeah dude that's crazy yeah did you have a serious drinking
problem uh yeah i mean i liked it like i was i never like i didn't drink all the time like i didn't
drink every day oh like i could never have just one yeah and like it started leading towards like
some not some great things yeah like like uh uh did you go to jail no i didn't go to jail i do
got lucky on a few times oh Oh. Got away from it.
But like it was.
Hey, good.
That's a good, a good, nice cop.
You met a nice cop.
Yeah.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
So I hope my mom doesn't see this.
No, I just was starting to ruin relationships and friendships. So it was either that or live my life in alcohol or family.
You haven't had alcohol in three years?
No alcohol.
And did the relationships improve?
Yeah.
I get to go run around with my nephews.
If I was waking up sober, I would hungover.
My dog would be crazy.
But relationships have changed for sure as well.
I know what I want.
I know exactly what I want, not just someone there.
But they've helped out big time.
Was it easy abstaining?
Yeah, I think so. Because, again, I didn't drink all the time like every day but you know when i would drink it was let's go big or go home like next thing i'd wake up on my couch
like it's three o'clock in the morning and i was trying to question how i got there um uh
always was it always at home did you drink at home always yeah covid like kind of took over
yeah um you know like once like with everybody covid kind of just kind of yeah i started i did
day drinking during covid for like four or five months yeah i literally wake up in the morning
i'd crack a can of kombucha and mix it with sparkling water and i would hear my wife from the other room like at seven morning go are you fucking serious yeah yeah so i mean it was i was trying to get into it until i wasn't
yeah that's kind of like what happened was like i was tired of waking up hung over like feeling
like shit and not being able to train like well i wasn't doing crossfit at that time but
workout like or anything like that, I was just miserable.
I was tired of being miserable.
And I just kind of took over from there.
Did you do it yourself or did you get help?
Did you go to AA or anything?
I did it myself.
I had friends that were also sober, so I would talk to them.
Yeah.
Whenever I needed to.
I needed something so and like all my like friends and family understood like they so you let it be known it was like fuck you told people like i'm gonna quit drinking yep anyone talk to you anyone
like be like your mom come up to you before you quit and be like yo ding dong you gotta drink it
there were a few times yeah uh like i remember a family christmas
we used to do like for a gift exchange like if we wanted to block someone from taking our gift
we would take a shot of bourbon oh and uh one year i don't remember like i just remember doing
the gift exchange and then waking up in my bed at home oh damn yeah so that uh that wasn't a good picture to see cave dastro um what is this
what is this nonsense over here where's my arrow uh you should have been going to an affiliate and
getting as fit as possible during that time sebi you shut your face your mom should have been in
my at my house every day during that time tell me what to do i enjoyed it i had fun i don't have zero regrets i'm glad i
had the experience aren't you glad you had the experience i think you're probably i think you're
cooler for quitting but you couldn't quit unless you did it exactly like i i feel better like i
feel much better like with everything in my life and you got a good experience you're like fuck
that alcohol is a son of a bitch yeah like it was it was, it was, it was all bourbon.
Like that's what, that was my drink of choice.
Like I drink beer too at the bar and then like go home, have a nightcap.
And next thing you know, you're getting me on.
I'd be like, oh, I'm fine.
Next thing you know, I'm, yeah.
Mixing's crazy.
Mixing alcohol is crazy.
Yeah.
It wasn't the smartest decision.
I stopped, I didn't, I stopped doing, I drank in high school a lot, and I mixed because it was just like,
hey, just drink whatever you can.
Yeah.
That was fucking horrible.
That's where all the hangovers and all that shit's horrible.
Yeah.
Dan Guerrero, Sevan, I had a dream last night.
You were naked and balls deep in me.
Oh, Dan, that's so sweet. Thank you. Thank you. That wasn had a dream last night. You were naked and balls deep in me. Oh, Dan, that's so sweet.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That wasn't a dream.
Hey, and I want to hear the cop story.
Can you pretend like it's someone else?
Yeah.
I was at a work function.
It was like a work Christmas party. And at this time, I was at a work function. It was like a work Christmas party.
And at this time I was-
A lot of people get fired from those work Christmas parties. Good thing you stopped drinking.
Yeah.
Every year someone the next day after the Christmas party gets called into HR, they're like, yo, you had your dick in the fucking apple sauce.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It wasn't anything like that, luckily.
Your boss was there. He was the one actually getting me the drink so
yeah your boss yeah yeah yeah race big big drinkers but um irish irish huh irish yeah
yep damn yep so keeping the the stereotypes alive yeah i was living uh like an hour from work
at that time so i was on my way home and like it's
back country road and they had like the cops were out like doing their thing like just pulling people
like that like a traffic stop and i thought it was a wreck at first because it got real foggy and
of course i'm slightly you know buzzed more than slightly more than slightly buzzed um and i pull
up and the cop stops me and he like
starts talking to me he's like oh all right man just be safe it's like all right you're just
hey probably looking that was it he did he make you get out of the car no i think they were looking
for uh like it's not part of the state like it's not like it's got some like drug trafficking and whatnot.
And so I think that's probably what they were looking for.
Like people.
Did he ask you how many drinks you've had?
No, I got, he didn't.
Like I, I was able to, I somehow played it off it.
He couldn't even, didn't even ask.
Do you think, but you think he knew?
There's no way he didn't know.
Wow.
Hey, you think he let you off because you're a dwarf?
Like you got you got the reverse of like if you were a black dwarf, would you go to jail?
Oh, my God. For sure. I don't I guess I don't know what their purpose was that night, but I think I just got lucky.
Twice I got let off where I was really fucked up.
I should definitely not tell the story.
Dan and David, go to the bathroom right now.
You guys don't need this ammo.
I got off the freeway exit.
I was coming home to my mom's house.
I was in a Toyota pickup truck, and it was raining.
It was probably 2 in the morning, and as I came – there's no one out.
It's a small town with like 25,000 people and two stoplights. I come down.
There's a stoplight, and I make a right-hand turn, and it's wet, and I gun it.
I go from third to second gear, and I gun it and let the back end come out a little bit.
It was a spaceship.
Cop fucking pulls me over.
and I gun it and let the back end, you know, come out a little bit.
It was a friendship.
Cop fucking pulls me over.
I immediately start crying and tell him that I was at a party and my best friend had been making out with my girlfriend.
And I was just really angry and taking it out on my car.
I got off.
I got off.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Devesh Maharaj black plus dwarf
cancels each other out so they would treat him as a
regular white guy throw him in jail
alright fine
he did the math
alright
jeez Louise
oh thank you I forgot my
oh god you're a queen thank you
thank you
thank you
and then
so do you miss it at all?
The drinking?
Uh,
there's like a few times I do like when my friends are out,
like if I had a family function,
like everyone's got alcohol.
I mean,
big Italian Irish family.
So like alcohol is always flowing.
Um,
but other than that,
like I'm like,
I get home,
I go home,
get to sleep in my own bed.
Like,
don't worry about,
have to worry about getting home. That's good. Hey, any other, that, like I get home, I go home, get to sleep in my own bed. Like, don't worry about have to worry about getting home.
That's good.
Hey, any other I don't I don't want to be so dramatic, but recovering alcoholics in the family that like you hang with, like the whole family's drunk and the three you in the corner, like playing like cards or some shit like, fuck, we suck.
No, I'm the only one.
I'm the only one.
No, I'm the only one.
I'm the only one.
Someone.
Well, my cousin's husband is sober now, but like everybody, you know, does the same thing.
Like treats it, treats us all the same.
Like we're all hanging out, having fun.
Yeah.
You think you'd be at Wheelwad if you were still drinking this year?
No.
So it did play a big role.
It was an impact in your life.
Yeah.
You know you wouldn't be there?
I don't think I'd want to go.
Because I just want to be, like, home, lazy, like, just having fun. Like, I say having fun, but, like, just being at home, being lazy, drinking while watching some stupid show on Netflix or whatever.
drinking while watching some stupid show on Netflix or whatever.
Do you think you replaced drinking with anything, like working out,
or video games?
Have you replaced anything, or work, or replaced with anything?
I mean, I work out a little bit more now,
but I also eat a lot more ice cream.
So I think the ice cream is definitely the thing that replaced it.
Dude, every time I say this, someone fucking yells at me in the comments, but fuck them.
They have no idea what they're talking about.
When I was drinking a lot, which is like my whole life on and off, my wife would just be like, hey, it's really you just want sugar.
And I'd be like, really? And every time she'd be like, slice me an apple or something, I'd eat it.
And the desire for alcohol completely went away from eating a piece
of fruit oh seven it's not like that some people are addicted fuck you it works for most of us
yeah anyway it was great yeah only reason why i said it works for me because if it works for me
i'm pretty i'm normal as shit so yeah that's that's interesting so you get ice cream so you
get the sugar you want and then the desire to drink just goes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it makes complete sense.
Yeah, it makes – I wouldn't have looked at it that way,
but that makes total sense now.
Yeah, you're having – you want some hormonal insulin response you're looking for.
And so you get some sugar, and you're like, ah.
That's it.
It especially happens when I'm tired.
Yeah, that's like usually at the end it. Especially happens when I'm tired. Yeah.
That's like usually at the end of the day is when I get it.
Like I'm done for the day.
I probably go to sleep,
but instead I eat fucking seven pounds of dried mangoes,
two pounds of pistachios.
You have a,
you have a nut issue.
Do you eat too many nuts?
I eat too many nuts.
No,
I,
uh,
I'll get cashews every now and then.
Like just,
I like their,
like the taste of those. But other than that, I don't really like go crazy with them.
Yeah. Cashews are great too. Um, and, and then, um, and then your, your, your grandfather, you made a pretty passionate post the other day about your grandfather. What, what was it? What was your relationship with him like? He's like who I look up to.
He's who I try to take after.
He passed away when I was a freshman in college.
He would always take us camping, teach us how to be creative,
use our imagination.
He was a semi-pro football player.
He was an all-around guy I wanted to just be like.
He helped found the Special Olympics here in Northern Kentucky.
Oh, shit.
Why did he do that?
Why did he do that?
My uncle was born with cerebral palsy.
Uh-huh.
And he just wanted my uncle to be able to compete, have fun,
do the same thing that my dad and my other uncle were doing.
They both played football in high school, baseball, all the different sports.
So he just wanted the youngest to be just like them.
And at that time it was in Cincinnati.
They had it in Cincinnati, but it was good to get someone back in the 80s,
70s, 80s
who didn't have these nice vans
that they do now to make it easy
to transport people.
He found a way to
just brought it across the river into
northern Kentucky.
People will move mountains for their fucking kids.
Yep.
He kind of did the same for me with
the little people of America.
He helped me go to my first convention.
So I kind of want to give back.
Did he find it and be like, hey, dude, we should go to this?
I think my parents did.
And then it was always like my dad was a high school football coach for a while,
especially when I was younger.
And so we just never found the time.
And then they had it at Indyy which is about two hours away and he was like let's go like
you're going and ever since then like my grandpa was like told my dad he's like
if you want him to go if tim wants to go like i will help make sure that he can go
god you know what um there's some great shit you could do there i wonder if the little people of
america has some people like who are like six feet tall and you're like hey what are you doing here
they're like hey i identify as being a little person what fuck you get out of here they will
probably eventually oh yeah for sure not yet it's coming someone out there hey you know what else
would be cool too is if you're the little people of
america you hire someone there you hire like some seven foot five dude to come there yeah
so you guys could all just talk shit to them um i don't think they have to hire anybody that
that person is going to find it and walk in anyway you're gonna be like oh look at this hey um uh are you the are you the shortest crossfit
champion ever uh i mean i guess technically yes yeah are you shorter than nike no i think i got
him by like oh oh so you're not the shortest no you don't and then we have like
the female side now as well like there were five or six of them as like the females as well this
year and they're shorter too yeah they work like dwarves work just like regular people the the
chicks are smaller yep yeah that's good hey that started with just dudes, that division?
Yeah.
I think last year there was one girl.
I think maybe two signed up, but they may have kind of been found out.
But there was one that finished.
And this year, I think there were two or three, three or four,
something like that.
I can't remember how many to be exact.
I proposed today, by the way, that idea that i shared with you last time about you take the
four best um people from your class yeah and you and you save their final workout and you bring
them to fucking dickies and on the last day you march them out there and have them compete i go
the place will go fucking crazy and he was quiet and I'm like it would right
he goes yeah the place would go crazy
do that shit people will lose their shit
they'll be standing
people will go crazy
so I planted
the seed
I like it
we can do that shit it's our sport
no one can be like no we can't do that it's the NFL
no fuck you we're marching out we're a dwarf right here on espn we do it we do it our way yeah yeah
fucking dope um going going back to your grand your granddad was that on your mom's side
uh my dad's side yeah he was around your whole life yeah Yeah, up until my freshman year of college.
So 2006, I think, is when he passed away.
How did he die?
He had pretty bad COPD.
Was he a smoker?
My grandma was.
Oh.
The secondhand smoke is what it ended up being.
And then he went in for a stomach her hernia surgery and he just couldn't like
recover from it.
Like the surgery went great,
but coming off the anesthesia,
like it just couldn't recover from that.
I wonder what the,
um,
I wonder if he resented your grant.
Was your grandma dead at the time?
Yeah.
She passed away in 96 from a smoking related shit.
Yeah.
Long cancer.
I wonder if you, I wonder if he was pissed.
I wonder if he resented her for that.
I don't know.
He's a tough guy to do that for, to be like that.
Yeah.
I don't think he would have.
I don't think he would have.
Jeez Louise, he died because of secondhand smoke.
What the?
geez louise uh he died because of secondhand smoke what the yeah hey when when when the stats started coming out from china in 2020 or early 2020 talking about the people who were dying of
covid it was um 90 of like the people who died were men over the age of 65 who had smoked for
more than 30 years the second highest group was women who lived with those men yeah crazy right yeah burning
shit and like inhaling the fumes people like weed's good for you uh i don't think burning
anything and breathing the life of it's probably yeah right let's put smoke in our lungs it's
supposed to be oxygen yeah i don't yeah it seems uh like a bad uh bad juju
um you think you you think where's your fitness you think you're the fittest um
i'm feeling pretty good going in you look good you look great thank you yeah i feel really good
going in um maybe a pound or two heavier than i wanted to be but i mean it is what it is you know
like how will that how will that affect you will you be stronger because of that but just Maybe a pound or two heavier than I want it to be, but it is what it is.
How will that affect you?
Will you be stronger because of that, but just worse gymnastics,
like Josh was saying on the show yesterday? Yeah, the gymnastics will be the hardest part.
Just being able to put string pull-ups and whatnot together the way I'd like to,
but you've got to do it anyway.
Do you think you win it oh yeah yeah
i'm feeling really good about it this year going into it like just strong fast quick like everything
felt great yesterday i gotta have another workout today we'll see how that goes and
take tomorrow off for travel there is kind of that um there's kind of a winner
takes all kind of peace to this yeah because you tied with mikey at the games
yeah and so whoever wins this kind of like gets the whole kit and caboodle it's kind of like well
fuck you i'm better than you yeah so if you kind of you kind of get the games title too you know what i mean by that like oh yeah yeah like uh like that third uh third event
yeah exactly you have one tiebreaker yeah the tiebreaker you continued you didn't get close
you guys didn't get closure at the games no this is it'll be to this one yeah that's cool
your parents going no they gotta stay around for the nephews.
They got to work as well.
Any family going?
Nah, not this go around.
No shit, you're going by yourself?
Yep.
I'd be throwing a little, do you have a little bit of a pity party going at all for that or no?
Nah.
No.
Nah.
I'm enjoying it.
It's fun.
Like, I'm kind it. It's fun.
I'm kind of a loner when it comes to competition type things anyway because I'll just sit in the corner somewhere until it's ready to go,
until I get up to warm up.
But for the most part, it's almost like a distraction.
I feel like I'd have to entertain them when I'm not doing something.
Right, right, right.
I'd just rather be there by myself. I'd have to entertain them while, when I'm not doing something. Right. Right. Right. So like,
I'd just rather be there by myself.
Like I'll have some teammates there.
Like there'll be other people I'll meet there.
But like,
as far as from here,
it's just me.
Yeah.
God,
don't you,
that's why I hate having people over at my house,
but I kind of cracked the code on that about five years ago.
I used to feel,
I didn't like having people in my house.
Cause I feel like I had to entertain them.
Yeah.
But like five years ago, I don't even, I didn't even care. And my wife because I feel like I had to entertain them yeah but like five years ago I don't even I didn't even care and my wife to this day my wife
will be like I'll be like hey I invited a bunch of people over to watch the fight she's like well
what are we going to feed them I'm like just opened up a package of salami yeah just throw
it on the counter yeah order some pizza like yeah she didn't go on that he still feels uh
like like we got gotta like take care
of them i'm like no a box of crackers and some salami and some cheese and throw a knife out there
and bought in a roll paper towel we're good yeah no or let like tell everybody to bring something
yeah get the cheapest case of sparkling water you can from uh safely let's go yeah yeah that's the
way to do it yeah i'm already paying for the 79.99 for the way to do it. Yeah. I'm already paying for the $79.99 for the fight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm so good at ignoring my guests now.
Corey Bradshaw, a good question.
Will Wheelwod be live streamed?
I did see, I do have a link somewhere.
It'll be on their YouTube page.
Let me see.
You know what's cool?
I don't know how he got it, but Caleb got this link from Kevin Ogar's wife.
Oh, okay.
So I was actually kind of flattered.
That means that she was kind of paying attention,
and she knew that I guess you were coming on the show.
So that was cool of her to set us up.
And then, hey, guys, I'll paste the link down here.
So don't leave the podcast, but what you want to do is open a new window,
click that link, and subscribe to WheelWad,
and then set the settings to you go here, and you hit subscribe,
and then you go to all.
You should pretty much do that with it.
Like WheelWad, like how much shit are they actually going to put out?
You might as well just get all their notifications.
It's not like they're going to put out you might as well just get all their notifications it's not like they're bugging you yeah so like i
like i think the video they posted was from like the last workout last year on youtube oh that was
last one yeah there you go look i'm the first one to like it oh and uh uh i'll put can't wait
right there you go I got first comment.
All right.
I don't even know what this button does.
Save.
I don't know what that does.
Oh, save video.
Oh, there you go.
What's this button do?
Report.
Should I report them for something?
Maybe if I don't. Oh, look it. Now there maybe if i don't look now there's
three likes look now there's three likes look at that all right all the time fucking hashtag
influencer let me refresh the screen see if we got some more subscribes too oh shit one more
subscriber all right i i think i subscribed I think, or the other day.
A long competition?
Is it four days?
Four days, 11 workouts.
Is that excessive?
I don't think so because they've released two of them.
Yeah.
The first one is going to be a swimming workout.
Okay. Every three minutes on
the minute like third minute and like it's like just uh for us it'll be 25 50 75 50 25 meters
like just down and back and then like everybody else depending on their division like it's either
longer or even like stays the same as ours and so
and when you say that you're suggesting that the swimming won't it's not a beat down i don't think
so like i but then again i haven't swam in like over like a year and a half so we'll see how this
goes no shit really you haven't swam in a year and a half i just don't have a good access like pool to access like i mean friends in a in
a in a will you wear a um no i won't wear a swim cap that's too much work i've seen how those go
and it's just a lot of work but you look good in it dude hey will you wear a speedo uh i have
basically like biker shorts yeah they are like the longer you should really get a cap
just for intimidation dude just for they might even provide them they might have a sponsor
something there that provides that'd be cool like they might like i can't remember i think i remember
seeing some people last year with the swim cap on dude just pull roll up right on mikey swoosh and
when you put it on snap it because that i think that snapping sounds kind of intimidating snap just hide the pain yeah yeah hey um i think if you are going to get one i think
there's a special way to put those on so you learn or else you look like a ding dong out there yeah
like uh i'm in high school like oh okay so like i have like a bit of the swimming background but
i never like wore the swim cap you're gonna kill it you really did swim in high school like oh okay so like i have like a bit of the swimming background but i never like wore the swim cap you're gonna kill it you really did swim in high school yeah it was more like for
the be in shape like to get in shape and stuff yeah all right you're good yeah that's like those
swimmer people you guys who swim that's like riding a bike for you guys once you guys do it
you guys kind of you crack the code on it yeah but it's the water like the water totally completely changes like the resistance and the
cardio like you kind of humbles you real quick um i still am tripping on the fact you'll be there
by yourself so every morning you'll pack a duffel bag and you'll just have all you have to make sure
you have all your shit in there no one's running out and like getting you anything no i just keep it there it's all in the like i'm very simple
like i'll show up with like my clothes like my workout stuff on and then like my bag has
everything i need in it so it's not like i yeah need a whole lot and then you'll finish sunday
and jump in your car and drive home uh i'll stay till monday morning you will yeah because i don't want like it's like
it'll finish around 7 p.m so like i don't want to make try and make that eight hour drive through
the mountains like tired and exhausted how old are you getting you're 35 36 i'll be 37 in february
yeah i knew you were old yeah i keep telling myself that dude i did this workout yesterday
first hiller hiller told pedro to do this workout the guy who does the coffee pods and wads workout
yeah and it's 30 seconds on 30 seconds off on an assault bike for 10 minutes
and pedro did it and he set said sometime i forget what he said but uh
i didn't even look at what he said before i did it and he's like hey i think he said hey you need
to do that too seven so i did it and i thought and i told him i was going to try to hold 70 RPMs. Yeah. And so then I did it.
And when I did it, when I'd get on, I'd get it up to 78.
And then it would come back down to like 73 or 70.
And I would kind of hold it there.
And anyway, I think I got like 107 calories and Pedro got 109.
Jeez.
Anyway, it was not very good.
And I was very disappointed that he beat me because I just think of him as like,
just like just some,
just Irish dude who lives in a fucking hot and onion Ireland.
You know what I mean?
Like,
like I'm a cool California dude.
Yeah.
Fucking beat me.
But then I was like,
I'm old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm old.
You realize that?
Yeah.
That's my excuses for everything now.
I'm old. You realize that? Yeah. That's my excuses for everything now. I'm old.
The fuck did this Irish fucking dude with pasty skin beat me?
And then Brian Spinn did it and he beat me too.
They all beat me.
I suck.
I'm the worst dude.
I was the,
I was the weakest.
I was the worst CrossFitter at HQ and I'm,
and I'm the worst CrossFitter in my thread.
Yeah.
You don't ride the assault bike, right? No no i'm trying to get someone to set it up so
i can right does anyone do does anyone in your division ride it uh i mean if we do it's more
like it's all arms like it's just the arm portion of it how about the c2 does the seat go low enough
on that the one um no i've tried that one as well like i
looked at least looked into it but no like we have a couple at the gym like a couple people
brought like their own and i've like tried to sit on it and see what i can do but nothing's like
it just needs to go like another six four or five maybe five to six inches lower how about the the
designs of the skier in the rower did you fit on those
yeah rower's fine like skier um like they have extensions for them which i'm not a huge fan of
though because like it wraps around like like the handle yeah handle stays where it's at so like if
i go to a pool then i still have all that slack and the uh like in the line so i'm not like getting
anything out of it how i don't understand why someone hasn't cracked the code on the bike yet
i understand no one would do it for you guys there's just not enough of you just not financially
make sense but kids kids they're doing the fucking market. You're just like shorter women and everything. Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, when you go clothes shopping, do you shop in the kids division?
Because when I was in, no, when I was in college, I would always go.
They had a sporting goods store like Big Five.
I can't remember what it was.
But I always shopped in the kids division because they had all the same clothes and they were fucking half the price.
Yeah.
Like, I, the clothes for, like, my clothes are, I mean, I'm a 32 waist, and then my chest is, like, 38 inches.
So, the same, I mean, the only difference is, like, the sleeves are a little bit longer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, what size is that right there that you're wearing?
This is a medium.
Yeah.
And is it tight on you, like, here in the back or in the chest no it's actually like pretty pretty what do you do you just take it
to a seamstress and you're like hey dude i don't want this around my knees hem this up four inches
yeah if i need to for that like i mean the hoodies like are pretty good as far as like
length goes on me because i have the same size torso it's just like my limbs aren't the same length that really
that's the deal yeah so i never even i never even knew that yeah i'm sitting there i was like
sitting next to someone like you see like we're like the same height like sitting down like you
wouldn't know that there was a difference until like we stood up obviously right that's like um uh well all all my all like basically it's i mean
preaching to the choir but basically everything i wear all the shirts are too long
or every everything's just too long like i like i have do you have a stack of in your
house where it has to go to the seamstress i always have a stack of stuff it's like this
at some point i gotta go and get this shit like sewed up yep
like the dress shirts like the big ones and then like obviously you have a stack right now at your
house of stuff that like hey this has to go i have to go to the cleaner and get this shit sewed up
yep god genius look at me keep looking like do i really want to go and take it because i actually
had um people mess up my shirt sleeves like my dress shirts yeah like
one lady like they try and get like fancy and creative with it so like they try and take it
from the shoulder and move it up yeah and then when they do that like they shorten everything
and i walk around like this because i can't get my arms in oh because your arms are too big yeah
yeah and then like they put the sleeves on backwards so like i go to button it and it's
like upside down my only thing is is i like all every pants i've ever owned are too long
yeah and 51 of them when i get them hemmed they're hemmed too short yeah that's the same with me my pants i just look like a douche i look like yeah i try and like hope that i can like slide my pants down a little bit
yeah so i can like now i need to look like i took a shit in my pants or i can wear floods
uh well dude i appreciate you coming on i didn't give you much notice i know i
text you late last night um i appreciate you coming on i'm excited for you uh thanks for
sharing the stories uh congratulations on uh sobriety taking control of your life
is like that's the only thing like that we're
only thing we're fucking capable of and it's where all of our happiness resides and so you're
what a great uh story for me to hear and uh and for you to remember your grandfather that's some
cool shit too you're you're you're uh inspiration dude thank you appreciate that thank you yeah
and uh we'll talk soon we'll uh we'll talk when you come back and can't wait to hear about it
all right sounds good thank you if you win if you win, if you win, if I win.
Okay.
That's fine.
I'll go in then.
All right,
brother.
Have a good one.
You're a champion.
Thank you,
brother.
See ya.
Going to wheel ward.
Tim Murray.
Fuck.
Two short dudes in a row.
Josh Bridges and Tim Murray.
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undertaking to register in Canada. Oh, look, someone just texted me. Tim
Bernie's the man. I agree. Damn, I sent Danielle Brandon a link, too. I thought it would be
awesome. I just thought it would be legendary status to have her with the fucking
games champ on.
Tim Murray, Danielle Brandon, me.
Road trip, cross-country road trip, me and Danielle Brandon, Tim Murray.
Promoting Rad, Rad Shoes.
Should have asked him what he thought about rad all right i think i'm done the fuck do i gotta do
i guess i could try calling danielle let me just try calling danielle real quick i don't even know
if my fucking phone works anymore.
Let's see if she answers.
You want to see if she answers?
I was going to have her on as a guest,
but let's just...
Danielle Brandon CF or just Danielle Brandon?
What's this other one?
Danielle Brandon CF?
Oh, they're the same number.
Let's see.
Okay, here we go.
It's appropriate to call, right?
It's an honor for me to call someone, right?
Please leave your message for 7 to...
Son of a bitch.
I think she hung up.
She got you blocked.
She hung up for sure.
Right?
It rang once and she hung up.
God damn it, Danielle.
How am I supposed to look cool if you don't answer?
Okay. How am I supposed to look cool if you don't answer? Not cold calling.
I talk to her all the time.
No, definitely cold calling.
Heidi Groom wrote uh cold calling Danielle
uh nice
yeah WAD zombie she could have at least let it ring a few times
I agree look is there a Daniel Brandon
WAD zombie card
uh Alexis Raptus
pretty cool chick
Emily Rolfe
oh Daniel Brandon
only the dudes are allowed on my desk
Colton Mertens
I put the girls on the back of the bus back here
Colton Mertens.
He's even got his own little stand.
Get him at the WAD zombie store.
But she has you blocked.
No shit, you think let me see uh how many of you subscribe to wheel wad uh oh six of you
oh six likes too wow crazy good job guys fucking we're moving the needle um tomorrow there's something you guys should know about um coffee wads and pods
um look at this look at this look at this my guys look at this
uh coffee wads and pods um Guys look at this
Coffee wads and pods
I'm gonna click on the link now and then look look at this. Oh wait. Where oh look at upcoming live streams. What is this?
Around the whiteboard.
Andrew Hiller.
Craig Howard.
In this chick here.
Give this a.
What.
Debate is healthy.
Especially when it's for points.
When is this?
Wait, this is scheduled for November 29th.
I'm hearing all sorts of buzz about this show.
Oh, this is in 27 hours.
This is, so this is tomorrow at 11 a.m. Oh, this is,
this is tomorrow at 12 p.m. my time.
Notify me.
Fuck.
Subscribe.
All.
What's this?
Join.
Join.
Join.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
Look at this.
Look at all these things.
Everyone's making money but me. what the fuck is going on here
what's this
report perks
what if like if one of the perks was like a naked picture of uh pedro you would report it
a naked picture of Pedro, you would report it.
Um,
uh,
I don't know.
I know.
I don't know if I'm going to do the perks thing.
Cause you guys send me so much money anyway.
So let's say wads on me sends me like fucking,
I don't know,
20 bucks a month already in donations,
like dollar 99 here for 99 there.
And then he's going to buy a membership for five 99 a month.
And he's going to be like,
fuck that. I ain't donating more. And then I'm fucked. And it's a
loss. That's not, that wouldn't be very
Jew-y of me.
Cave Dastro.
You're
tarted, Seve. I've been telling you for
to do it.
You're retarded.
You're just straight up retarded. It's so funny
Oh that's a great idea Cave thanks
Thank you
Oh my god what would I do without you
Someone the other day on the show
Thought that I was making fun of them.
By the other day, I mean this is five or six months ago.
And they sent me a text message basically telling them that they had my back when no one had my back.
I wish I could read you the text message.
It's so fucking pathetic.
People are fucking crazy.
Oh, you made these emojis yourself?
It's like, listen, dude,
nobody had my back when nobody had my back
because everyone always had my back.
I never felt like nobody had my back.
I've never, I've always felt like a fucking stud
and a fucking king. Always fucking king always always always always i went from being a crazy super hyper 100 insecure little
high school kid and college kid and not even knowing it just living in the bliss of insecurity
to um uh To be in just a fucking powerhouse.
It was over just one giant awakening.
Tell me you had my fucking back.
My wife's got my fucking back like no motherfucker ever had.
No one's back.
My mom got my fucking back.
My sister got my back.
I'm surrounded by people that got my back Caleb got my back
Sousa got my back
I don't let anyone around me who don't got my back
Get the fuck out of here
Carolyn has my back
Hey Sevan and everyone I just got here
Oh hi
God
This is a fucking weird group of people
I just love how arrogant that is God, this is a fucking weird group of people.
I just love how arrogant that is,
but I just know you're the sweetest,
humblest person ever.
But you're just like, yep, I'm here.
Everyone needs me.
I'm here.
Jody Lynn.
See, like, look at, look, people.
Fuck this.
You know we always have your back.
Jody Lynn, $49.99.
Now, listen, I cannot even believe this.
I'm going to fucking call Pedro and ask him if anyone's ever donated $49.99 to a show, ever.
Here I am supporting Pedro, and now I'm going to call him all the way over in Ireland.
Just a big dickum.
But it'll be a fail if he says someone has.
Let me see.
Where's his phone number?
How do I do this?
I do.
You guys want Pedro's number?
I'm going to say it out loud.
It's plus 353-87925.
There you go.
Give him a call. Okay Okay let's see what Pedro answers
Look how is it even a real ring
Why on god's mean earth
Would anyone donate more than ten dollars to me
Look at this shit Pedro
You're trying to fuck up the whole game
By starting your fucking memberships
Got me all fucking rattled
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing
Trying to disrupt the whole game
I'm trying to pay my electricity
You think you're fucking Kanye and shit
I'm Kanye post break
And post easy deal counseling
You're the Irish Kanye
How about the dwarf that drank too much who's Irish?
I actually just worked out on hearing him talk about it.
I actually just Googled when the 7th of July 2018 was,
and it's been 2,000 days since I drank.
Oh, no shit.
Good job.
Why did you stop?
I was at a wedding, and then the next day I couldn't remember.
I didn't do anything bad, but I just couldn't remember the wedding.
And I was down like a hundred dollars and I was like, this is fucking stupid.
So I just stopped. And then we had kids.
Did you have a lipstick ring around the base of your penis?
Can't remember down a hundred bucks and a lipstick ring around your penis.
No, my wife doesn't wear lipstick.
Oh God, I love you so much for that.
She already hates me.
Then we had two kids. So I don't know how people that have kids deal with hangovers.
Like that would be the worst.
2,000 days. That's that's impressive god you
seem um way too uh dorky to me to have ever had a drinking problem i'm so happy that you had that
that's awesome yeah i don't know i don't have a problem but i just say regular binge drinking
i wasn't like reliant on it okay a regular binge drinker but not reliant on it
yeah actually doesn't sound as good as it did in my head maybe i did have a problem A regular binge drinker, but not reliant on it. Yeah. Yeah.
It actually doesn't sound as good as it did in my head.
Maybe I did have a problem.
Look at this.
Jody Lynn gave me $49.99.
You know we always have your back.
Hey, what do you think?
Do you think it's a mistake if I turn on the memberships?
What do you think?
That's a lot of money.
To be honest, I never thought of it the way that you thought of it,
of what if I turn it on and people that just regularly donate,
they might watch a show and donate like $3 every time,
and you do like, whatever, 30 shows in a month.
Oh, please, please, 40 shows in a month.
How dare you, 40, 40 shows.
They see 30 shows in a month.
But if they donate every time versus,
oh, now I'm a member, I won't donate.
I kind of think with your community,
the people that watch, people that donate,
that that wouldn't actually be an issue.
I think.
I think people donate to your show when they're watching it
and see something that they like
or have a question that they want to ask or whatever.
And I don't think that being a member would deter people i think like i made emojis for today and as i was making them i was
like people are going to use these over and over again because they're funny and then that would
encourage other people to be like oh i want to be able to use that oh and do it and i think you
have more scope to do so but i'm not gonna make emojis dude but dude i'm not gonna make emojis
i mean no but you have all those people that have your back.
All those people that have your back.
You tell me Wadzombie or Will or...
Oh, you think...
I could get maybe Wadzombie to make them.
Dude got a full-time job, a wife, two kids.
I have a full-time job, a wife, and two kids,
and I made them myself.
Yeah.
But it's for you.
What am I going to do?
Tell Wadzami to make them for me?
Wadzami, don't take your kid to soccer this week.
Hey, Wadzami, would you mind making these,
and I'll continue to promote your cards on the show consistently.
I don't think you'd have an issue with it at all.
He'd be happy to be involved.
Well, I'm speaking for him, but...
Look it, I just made another $1.99 off of Jan Clark.
Jan's definitely not doing a membership and coughing up loot.
That's fair.
Oh, Wad Zombie says soccer is over.
Listen, here's the thing.
I was going to use the metaphor.
People don't, people don't, like every, like you eat the pussy and then you fuck it.
So maybe people will do both.
Maybe people will get a membership and donate money
But if you do it the other way the metaphor doesn't work. No one fucks the pussy and then eats it
No, and so now the metaphor is all messed up and you kind I know it's crass I apologize
But but but you understand but it's potent. It's a it's a point poignant and potent a metaphor. The sequencing is very important.
Sorry, one of my kids is trying to bite my other kid.
Oh, look.
I'm a dog.
I'm glad I don't have this on speaker.
Oh, please don't have it on speaker.
Well, look at Sir Trolls a lot.
I do that sometimes.
Wow, that's awesome.
Oh, there you go.
Different horses for different courses.
Oh, Dan Guerrero, poor Haley. Son of a bitch.
I think the most money I've ever made in the show was hitter last week.
Oh, how'd that? Yeah. It's a good show. Is that show more popular than my show I did with you?
Yeah. Oh, fuck me. Are you serious?
It passed by today.
The only possible answer to that is for you serious? It passed by today. It passed by today?
The only possible answer to that is for you to come back on in January.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want to come back on just to try to beat his show.
Let me see.
Let me see what's going on on your YouTube station.
He's on like 4.5, and you're on 4.3 or something.
Let me see.
I think he wants to pass Madeira.
That's his main thing, I think.
Okay.
I think I'm happy for wants to pass Madeira. That's his main thing, I think.
I'm happy for him to do.
Popular.
So, proven.
Shane and Nick Johnson are the winners.
Then, Justin Medeiros and Ellie.
I really like Ellie.
She's so fucking... Do you think Ellie's really mature?
Yeah, she's very witty as well.
It's very funny.
Yeah, I think she's very mature.
She's wife mature.
Like, she'd pay the bills and shit.
Then there's Hiller.
4.6.
Oh, my God.
I'm at 4.2.
Ugh.
Do you know what's actually very funny?
And it's indicative, I I think of how much I
owe to you is
so the Nick and Shane one largely because
you talked about it so much on the show
the
Justin would probably stand alone I guess
Hiller like I know him
because of you really
your one is there I think next
is JR is it
Vellner and JR fuckingner and J.R. are fucking neck and neck.
Yeah, and J.R. is because...
You know, it's funny how much I owe to...
I'm not going to pay $49.99, but...
I'd set up a membership.
No, please.
Save your money to buy more bread for your family.
People usually donate to bring attention to a message.
I think a lot of people will do both.
But what about what Bernie said?
Here's the risk.
The Sevan podcast feels like a real community.
Subscriptions make it feel like a business relationship.
I agree.
Yeah.
I know that with the membership, you can set it that it highlights comments, or you can set it that it highlights comments or you can
set it that it doesn't highlight comments um but the comments still stand out so like when cave
comments on a show on mine his looks different from all the others because of the emoji at the
start like a little badge that goes you know like it kind of comes up before your name yeah but his his shows up um so i can like it catches your eye more but it doesn't highlight it the same way
where it's you know a luminous orange or whatever um but i think you can actually change that
setting that it does i was kind of just fucking around with it today at work uh on my break
obviously um and a few little things
I was looking at was like,
oh, I might change that
or I might do that.
But I do empathize
with Bernie's view
where you're kind of,
I was reluctant to settle up
because I was like,
is this stupid?
Like, is it bad form?
But then I think
once you have a return
on the investment,
so once it's like,
okay, you can do this,
but if you sign up
in the base membership package,
you get 10% off Vindicator, Paper Street, or whatever as well. Oh, okay, you can do this, but if you sign up in the base membership package, you get 10% off
Vindicator, Paper Street, or whatever.
Oh, God, yeah, that, Susan would have
to do all that. I can't do any of that shit.
Like, I have
it set that if you're, like, nobody
is going to sign up for the top tier online, that's
called Spader Space, but if they did,
anytime I release clothes,
they'll get a free t-shirt, or a free
whatever, just as a thank you
for being consistent so that's cool um so i was trying to think i was trying to think of other
ways and i think you'd have more scope to do that because you have things like behind the scenes
that you have things like well you know i will tell you this so i will tell you this uh that's
a really good point but before we go that i want to say that janelle winston i see both sides i
hate subscription base because it's a money grab,
but I like you and give money.
Here's the thing.
Just so you know,
it wouldn't be to,
um,
it wouldn't be to watch the show.
The show will always be free except.
Yeah.
Except.
And I'll tell you what show will not be free here in one second.
Uh,
not a taxi.
Jeremy,
when you eat the pussy,
there's a little P under the hood.
That's not true. And I, and I don't care if it is true that's not true hey i want to ask you this question real quick
before i talk about money money more what is this show that you have if i go to your home page
i go to videos no i go to um home
oh it's gone oh what is this show upcoming live streams um around the whiteboard what is this
tomorrow so do you remember that espn show around the horn and it was like the presenter with
four football or hockey analysts or whatever you get like their clock and you get like
certain amount of seconds to answer yeah okay so each person will have 60 seconds to answer? Yeah. Okay. So each person will have 60 seconds to answer.
You know,
maybe it's similar
to another show
that exists in
space,
but anyway,
you get 60
seconds to answer
on a topic,
to give your
opinion on a
topic,
and there's no
right or wrong
answer to the
topic,
it's just like
debating it.
So you could
ask like,
I won't ask it
tomorrow because
he's on there
obviously,
but I could ask
like,
does Hitler have
a place of
value in the custody system?
Could be a hypothetical debate point.
Is Andrew Hiller toxic?
You let someone talk for 60 seconds
and the next person for 60 seconds,
the next person for 60 seconds.
Then you go back to the start
and each person has a 20-second rebuttal.
So they can say, the first person can criticize
the last person's point.
But if they just say like,
oh, that's stupid. They don't get anything. But if they
say, that doesn't make sense
because of this fact, this fact, and this fact.
Or like, I can prove you're lying because
of this fact. Then they would earn a point.
And then you start again.
You have a second topic. So one of the topics
is going to be CrossFit sport-based.
One of the topics is going to be CrossFit affiliates
or methodology-based. And then the topics is going to be CrossFit affiliates or methodology-based.
And then the last topic will be like a currently
trending topic. So it could be
either or, depending on what hot topic.
Cave Dastro, right?
It's Death By on the Lone Ranger
and Tonto,
but better. So it's Death By, but better.
Oh, fine. Fuck you, then. Kevin M. Oh Fine fuck you
Okay, Kevin M hire a consulting firm to do a survey about how much people would pay for a membership. I
Like that done done
God my road caster sucks. It just hung up on Pedro. Hey. He's giving me too many details about the fucking show.
Yeah.
I didn't interrupt you.
You were giving me too many details about the show.
I didn't hang up on you, though.
I don't know why it hung up, but you were falling into the weeds.
Is the girl going to be wearing something low-cut?
Is she going to be wearing something low-cut?
I have no control over wardrobe choices.
Hopefully, it'll be shirtless, but that's all they can ask me.
Okay, that's fine. That's good.
Yeah,
it's dead by a bit better. That's my aim.
I really like the format, but I think it could be done better.
No disrespect.
I hope that I can do a bit better.
Are you going to have a horn sound?
I'm going to try and have...
If you talk for more than 60 seconds
you get muted
and if you say something
you know if you interrupt
and it's a valid interruption
like Chase's last week
with the morning talk
when he arrived of course
I mean that's just funny
so I wouldn't interrupt that
but if someone else said something
that wasn't useful
I just mute them
and they get muted then
for the rest of the time
and then there will be like a
a buzzer sound
when 60 seconds are up
and I'm going to try...
I don't have a Rodecaster.
I have like this
kind of shit version of it.
So I would need to check.
I'm pretty sure I can upload sounds.
So I want to upload
like a ding
if someone earns a point.
Hang on.
Guys, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, have him go get
the pot of gold
under the rainbow, Pedro.
I need to... I need to upload the sound so this is a ding if someone gets a point.
I'm not going to remove points from anyone,
but if someone detracts from someone else's points,
they will get a point.
Do you know what I mean?
But no one's going to get a negative point.
When you,
let's,
okay,
okay,
okay,
fuck,
I'm sorry I talked about your show.
Pedro,
when you sing,
does your accent go away?
No,
I don't think so.
It does,
just so you know.
Unless I'm doing an impression of someone singing.
Adam Blakeslee wanted to know,
hey,
David Weed said, the watermelons on that girl are insane what are watermelons uh breasticles really watermelon that's a horrible fruit for titties are her
tits that big what's the girl's name aaron smith do you know her she did her? She did the team
she did the team
sideline reporting
and I think the age groups
as well
at the games.
Oh, she's hot.
And she does like
yeah, she does
what the fuck
High Rocks.
She does loads of stuff
for High Rocks.
I think she's actually
in America this week
doing a High Rocks thing
in Dallas. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe of stuff for High Rocks. I think she's actually in America this week doing a High Rocks thing in Dallas.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe he was talking about her boobs.
She owns an affiliate in Wales, I think.
In the UK, anyway.
Be respectful, Sebi.
She owns an affiliate.
Irrespectful.
Ma, wrong.
Jesus.
Yeah, so my hope is every week I'm going to have...
Does she have a boyfriend?
I think she got married like a month ago all right oh yeah yeah yeah here's her dude she got
look at she got a buff dude with the the blockhead she got she got a deal i
think he owns the affiliate he only said it with her i think they don't like to own it together
He owns a affiliate with her, I think.
They don't like to own it together.
Yeah, here, look at you.
That's cool.
All good.
Yeah.
That's the crack.
That's the crack with that.
Oh, yeah, shit.
And then for the next month,
including those shows,
there'll be a prize given away to someone in the live chat
for the show for next week or whatever.
A prize?
You're giving away prizes?
So whoever
wins the debate tomorrow
will pick someone from the live
chat to win the first prize, which is
a year's membership of GoWatt.
And then next time it'll be a year's membership
of SMTP. And then next time it'll
be Woopix, like sponsors
from the show of all donated prizes.
So for the next month, the guest or the winner of the debate will be picking someone in the comments
to win a prize god you you too many you give too many details i think with not enough swear words
and nudity i'm critiquing you there'll be a problem how about this what if you what if you
were to say there'll be a prize it won't be dumbass
noble shit
but it also won't be
that vibrator thing
that sucks you off
that Seve showed up
in the beginning of the show
yeah
no flashlight
did you see the
automatic flashlight
with two handles
no I heard you
started to talk about that
and then
realized where the
conversation was going
and turned it off
because my kids
weren't there
oh okay
I'm sorry
I apologize no apologies not necessary And then realized where the conversation was going. I turned it off because my kids were there. Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
I apologize.
No apologies necessary.
My kids asked me yesterday, one of my sons says, hey, what happens if you're scrotum?
First he said, hey, do you have two balls?
And he was in the shower and I was just sitting there like we have an open bathroom and I was sitting there and I'm just watching him bathe himself, shower himself.
And he goes, hey, so we have two balls.
I'm like, yeah, you have one scrotum, that thing dangling beneath your penis is your scrotum and inside there are two balls.
He goes, what if it breaks open?
I go, that'd be bad.
He goes, why?
What's in there?
I go, those are you need those seed.
There's seeds in there and you need those to make kids.
He goes, I thought the woman made the kids.
I'm like, she does. She has the egg. You got it. You have to make kids he goes i thought the woman made the kids i'm like she does she has the egg you gotta you have the seeds he goes how
the fuck do those get into her how do those two come together and and before i could answer he
goes through kissing i go yeah kinda and he goes is it like putting legos together
i go yeah it's like putting legos together i just said yeah ask your mom It's like putting Legos together.
I just said, yeah.
Ask your mom.
It's like putting Legos together.
Arby, you ever feel like someone knows information but intentionally acts confused to see where it goes?
Dude, that's always.
I don't act confused.
I don't know if I like that.
That's one of your interviewing techniques. Yeah, because 80% of the time I get an answer I didn't act confused I don't know if I like that That's one of your interviewing techniques
Yeah because 80% of the time I get an answer I didn't expect
That's what's so cool about being around me
That's why I'm so fucking cool
Now you know
Okay I need to go make dinner
Okay congratulations on the new show
Thanks for
Thanks for answering your phone
That probably cost you $18
And thanks for bringing clarity about the memberships.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Love you too.
Bye.
Thanks for inviting me on your first show.
You dickhead.
Okay.
So I have three minutes to tell you.
So basically the behind the scenes are like nearly done
Like they're basically done
And they're just putting some together some montages
In there and it looks like it's going to be 14 episodes
And I want to make
Like a shitload of money
Off of it but you're not allowed to monetize
Content you shoot at the games
So I have some ideas that
I've proposed and
I'm working on and the reason why I want to make a shitload've proposed and I'm working on.
And the reason why I want to make a shitload of money is I'm not paying the editors jack dick. And I didn't make dick.
Well, I made a ton of money at the games, but through sponsors.
But I'd like to make some money.
And the team is fucking amazing.
And they deserve some money, right?
Patrick Rios, some people I can't say their name yet.
Mariah, uh, Caleb,
uh,
uh,
Susa, trying to think of us as on the team,
uh,
just people who helped me there,
uh,
Hiller.
Um,
uh,
I didn't even really know that Hiller helped me.
I thought he stopped helping me.
And then the other day I was looking in the thread and they were using some of
Hiller's B roll,
which was kind of cool of athletes doing stuff.
Um,
and then they said his shit was fantastic.
Um, uh, Bella, Bella, Bella Rios.
And anyway, no, not Amazon Prime,
but I was thinking I would,
that would be the main reason I would make a membership.
I would put it behind a paywall for a month
so that anyone who wants to contribute,
and if we could raise, I don't know,
$30,000 or $50,000,
that would also
pay for next year's behind the scenes right like those seven or eight people that went out there
in their hotels everyone paid for their own shit it sure would be nice to pay for their own for
their stuff for next year right so so you charge uh ten dollars or fifteen dollars for a membership
and people sign up for a couple months and you get the access to the behind the scenes a month early and the only reason why you do that is like some people don't
give a shit they're like yeah i'll wait until it's free and i don't blame you for that either i ain't
hating but if you just want to be like yeah that's cool that they did that and i want to contribute
to these people going out there doing that you can do that but and then every after every premiere
of every episode whether they're free or not, um,
which they eventually would be free,
of course,
but,
um,
I'm going to do a show,
uh,
where you can,
we can just talk about the episode.
So I'll do the plan right now is to do,
uh,
premieres,
uh,
twice a week,
seven weeks leading into the open.
So like a Monday and Friday.
And then after the show, I'll watch the premieres too. And then after the premieres, I'll monday and friday and then after the show pre
i'll watch the premieres too and then after the premieres i'll come on live and we can talk about
the show we can talk shit about it people can call in and it'll be wild i think it'll be wild
i think it'll generate a shitload of buzz and then i want to run some commercials for the open during
that too that's kind of like my carrot i'm trying to propose to cross it like hey this is gonna be
the biggest thing in the space we'll take over all the fucking we'll take all the air out of the
room for seven weeks leading up to the open and we'll run open commercials leading up to the open
and if they let me do it maybe i'll even sign up for the open
god that sounds stressful
no uh um how important and intentional is the timing of the release of the behind the scenes
so being that i i i know that you guys think the ceo thing is a joke or the media director thing
is a joke but i am stuck in a certain mindset and i do think that i know better than fucking
99 people working there and i do think that it's best for the games and for the season to release this
the seven weeks prior to the open.
So if we can leave, you know,
so if the open starts on a Thursday,
we would release the last show on a Wednesday.
And basically what we'll do is
we'll just build up tons of hype for the games
and get people really in a frenzy.
And then the open starts
and we go right into the season.
So I like, I've always liked waiting. Dave always wants it released quickly i don't think so i don't think
it loses any of its luster i think by the time it's like basically like you got separated from
your girlfriend for three months and you come together and just you immediately coil like snakes
and put it in her and maybe you even do some shit you normally wouldn't do to her because you're just so excited to see her. It's like that.
And so, yeah.
It's not that important and it's not that intentional.
And yet it's completely important and very intentional.
But I'm like getting.
It's just who I am.
Just what I'm doing.
But CrossFit's not like supporting it in any way.
They're not like, well, fantastic idea.
Thank you, so on for.
I mean, every day someone tells me they got an L1 because of this show.
And it's not like CrossFit's never like been like, well, thank you.
Never.
Nothing.
I don't want them to or need them to either.
I'm saying that in relationship of whether you're saying it's intentional.
Wow, dude.
Wow. Yeah. Wow. wow dude wow yeah wow marron okay so david was right all right so be it that's why it's good
to watch the show the show is being heavily throttled right now we're having our biggest
live shows ever and yet our fewest views ever, which is like pretty indicative.
And there's something called impressions.
And impressions is how much YouTube is pushing your show out to other people's homepages.
And we're at an all-time low.
So anyway, I appreciate all you guys finding me every morning, finding us. Human body is fascinating
I know they could at least let you crack 25k what are we yeah and we we just I've been seeing you
guys say that for a while now is this is it are we just not putting on uh subscribers let me see
I'm going to the analytics page Are we just not putting on subscribers? Let me see.
I'm going to the analytics page.
Yeah, everything's at an all-time.
Oh, so we're still putting on subscribers, but just really slow. 11, 1, 4, 0, 2, 1, 3, 7, 4.
Hey, don't, don't.
It's all good.
It's perfect.
Yeah, impression's crazy.
I wonder what I did that makes them, that's making them throttle it.
So what I'm doing, by the way, is, no, every year is my year, but thank you.
What I'm doing is is i think you're
right though mason i i feel you what i'm doing now yesterday i put up i i saw we're getting
kind of throttled back so i um i put out a couple i yesterday i spent about an hour making other videos sub clips so hopefully the
sub clips will
generate more attention to the channel
and kind of fuck with the algorithm a little bit
I put up a short and two sub clips yesterday from
Josh
I don't know what the subscribers
on Apple and Spotify are but
we get a significant we have significantly
more listeners through that platform which
is just fucking crazy to me because I just think the YouTube show is so fucking great.
Did anyone notice yesterday's shows were different today?
I was acting different.
I had a really tough day on the 26th.
I had a what's that called when you have a mental health?
I had a mental health day.
No, I was angry, man, on the 26th.
I was, like, pissed.
I was pissed.
And then I woke up yesterday morning, and I was fucking like, oh, shut it, Dan.
And then I woke up yesterday, and I was in the fucking best mood ever.
Like, while I was asleep, I processed that the the anger nah not no i just drama
uh i'm not gonna get into specifics but just at a situation nothing nothing relevant nothing like
serious happened like my kids are healthy my wife's dope like i didn't get in a car accident my fucking um my uh no venereal disease no no yeah
it's just sandy vagina shit totally no peptide rage i was just i just there was some drama in my
life yeah there you go jetted i at 26 you definitely seem more quiet and then yesterday
when josh came on i was like i realized it when
i saw josh i was like oh i'm better but i normally don't go into a funk ever but i wasn't i was
pissed i was really fucking irritated irritated like um like i'll tell you what it would be
equivalent to imagine you take your family on a family vacation somewhere
like this is completely
made up there's no truth to this let's say you take your
family to Los Angeles and you rented
a hotel room for four days and you were going to go to Disneyland
every day and then you get there and you found out
that 50% of the rides they were
were in repair it was
like that it's like
not a big deal at all you're just pissed
like what the fuck
it's like it's like not a big deal at all. You're just pissed like what the fuck it's like that
Yeah, it was just drama you guys would love to hear about it by the way you guys would love to hear about it
No, I haven't uh, he hasn't even gotten the ipad. I sent him
He hasn't even gotten the fucking ipad. I sent him
I'm waiting for it to be fucking Apple to return it.
It get reimbursed in my account and then I'm buy it,
fuck him for it again and send it to the,
um,
to his NFL place.
Oh,
please.
Bailey Walker was because Tyson won't come on here anymore.
And he stopped mentioning CrossFit in his interviews.
It's worse that he won't come on here.
He texted me and told me to fuck off and never call him again.
No, come on guys. I don me and told me to fuck off and never call him again. No.
Come on, guys. I don't give a fuck about that stuff.
If he never came on again, it would be great. If he comes on
again, it'll be even greater.
There's no pressure like that.
The only pressure I put on anyone in a relationship
is with my wife.
That's it.
No one else has to be under any pressure
ever with me.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Oh, dude, that's a fucking great idea.
Kyle, that is brilliant.
That's actually a great idea. Thank you. Damn.
Damn, damn, damn.
Taxidermy?
Mm-mm-mm.
Mm-mm-mm. that is funny we better talk uh we just got offered a new sponsorship but I don't think it's a good fit man. That's too bad. That's a lot of money
And hey, I would take anyone as a sponsor so you can only imagine how weird this one must be
Like I would take fucking that dildo machine. I'd take philip morris. I'd love camel
What those were the cigarettes without a filter?
Oh trojan dude, i'd fucking wear pull a trojan over my head those
are awesome i'm a fucking i'm a magnum man myself noble get no it's yeah you're close
you're close you're like you're getting close Yeah, I don't know if I would do Zen.
It's...
I would do Bud Light.
I would do BLM.
I'd do Fleshlight.
I'd do anything faith-based.
I'd do Muslim shit.
I'd love to do Rad.
I'd do Pfizer.
I'd do any of those. I'd do Jehovah Witness. I mean, I'd still. I do any of those.
I do Jehovah witness.
I mean,
I'd still tell the truth about them.
This one's just weird.
It's like,
Hey,
it's like more like noble.
Like,
Hey man,
I've really just gone off.
Like,
I don't know if I could do noble or Zen.
I really don't like noble and I really like Zen.
So it's for completely fucking different reasons.
I do coke in a second.
Fucking chug a giant diet coke right in front of you guys.
For $8.
Dude.
Please someone weigh in here.
I'm telling you.
Yesterday I was on fire, Dan.
How was the Castro Weekend Review worth watching?
Let me just show you this.
God damn. I don't mean to, like, I don't know.
Do I talk about how great I am
very often? Because that show was fucking
the shit.
Here it is. Watch this. Watch this, Dan. This is for you. This is watch this watch this dan this is for you this is this is this show i was fucking out of my mind during this show
dave dave should fucking crossfit should pay me to be their fucking pr team i fucking rule
okay here we go listen listen to this shit listen to this shit here we go
it's just a little clip from well it's on the back of your hamstrings dude
dude i would dude i was fucking in africa in the fucking middle of nowhere nowhere dude
on this fucking dirt road and it was fucking pitch dark and all we had was fucking light
like from from the car's headlights
And we're going really slow
And all of a sudden in the middle
The car stops and right in the middle of the road
The giant puff at her
Probably like four and a half feet long
Thicker than my cock dude like this
Dude fucking comes out
With a fucking loincloth and what did you call that thing
A switch
A switch
Just out of nowhere out of from the side comes out with a fucking loincloth. And what did you call that thing? A switch. A switch.
Just out of nowhere, out from the side.
Loincloth and a switch.
And he fucking hits it once and just splits it right open,
right in front of our car headlights.
Oh!
Damn, dude.
The driver's not out.
I'm like, can I get out?
He's like, no, you cannot get out.
No, you cannot. Holy shit.
That's funny.
Thicker than my cock.
So is a baby snake.
Nuance, empathy, and intuitive training.
Gems.
Or affiliates.
I'm going to open up a gym and call it CrossFit Empathy.
If you don't want to work out, you don't have to.
And I'll feel for you.
And I'll feel for you. And I'll feel for you.
This is CrossFit Equity.
You do 20 burpees, I'll do
180, and I'll give you 80.
God damn,
I'm good. What do you think, Dan?
Thank you.
Thank you.
I was trying to get to the CrossFit equity
CrossFit empathy part as gym names
Damn
No, what was the
The driver's name
He stayed
I know him
I'd been to that part of Kenya like four or five times
I always hooked up with that dude
I always hired him
What was his name?
He ended up stealing from us, which sucked because I really like him.
I really, really, really liked him.
I still like him, even though he stole from us.
What was his name?
Not Mustafa.
What was his name?
was his name you think if i type africa into my phone it'll pop up that dude's um uh name and number africa what was his name greg will be on tomorrow greg might remember the guy's Fuck Not Mufasa
Not Simba
Not Armand Hammer
Fuck what was the guy's name
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
What the fuck was that guy's name
Hey
We got another minute of Cindy here.
Let me call you.
Okay, what was the Africa driver's name in Africa?
Salim.
Oh, yeah.
Salim Maruthi.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Love you.
Bye.
Look at Greg's doing fucking Cindy.
Did you hear that?
I just called Greg and he goes, got another minute of Cindy left.
So any of you motherfuckers who would say any of your dumb shit.
That was just live, impromptu
Greg Glassman. So eat a fucking dick.
You don't even know how dumb some of you
fucktards are.
Anyway, his name was
Salum Maruthi.
Salum Maruthi. Yeah, he was cool
as shit. It sucked.
I think he stole from Greg
Like a lot of money
Greg didn't even like it
Who's Cindy
You know who Cindy is
Cindy's your daddy bitch
Thank you Chris
Alright
Hey love you guys
I had a blast today
Told you guys a lot
You guys told me a lot
Miss Jody Lynn
Thanks for the money
You're a fucking queen
Thank you My wife doesn't
like me telling you what i'm gonna do the rest of my day but i'm gonna tell you anyway i'm going to
um go inside play with the kids a little bit then i'm gonna load up the car uh they got skateboarding
from they just they're they're finishing i can hear them playing the piano right now they finished
their school already they finished their piano uh with mom, take them over to the skate park.
They got two hours of skating there with the skate coach.
I'll then race them across town.
I'll probably buy them something.
They probably shouldn't eat.
I'll probably take them to a deli or something.
I get them a glass of whole milk and a chocolate chip cookie.
And then they'll play.
They have a private tennis,
tennis lesson for a couple hours.
And then from there, they go to the Kumon studio where they do another hour of schooling.
And then from there, the kids will split up.
One of them will go to jujitsu and the other two will then go back to tennis.
And then they will come home where they will will do a private gymnastics uh lesson here at the
house yeah yeah kumon studio it's like a you know there's i think there's 30 000 of them worldwide
so just kumon studio and fucking inappropriately dressed high school girls, teacher, kids, math, and English.
All right.
Love you guys.
See you.
Oh, I wonder if Vakey's coming on tonight.
Is that tonight?
What the fuck is going on with my life?
Oh, no.
Greg Glassman tomorrow.
Vakey tomorrow night.
And that's it Alright guys
Love ya
Buh-bye