The Sevan Podcast - I’ll show you the way | Live Call In - Special Guest Tim Murray CrossFit Games Champion

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

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Starting point is 00:01:08 Good morning, bam, we're live, Devesh. The Hammer, Maharaj. Jeffrey Birchfield, good morning. Good morning. Wheelwad's coming up. I saw that Tim Murray had made a post. Tim Murray's CrossFit Games champ. I don't know if they call it the short stature division or if that's what I say to make fun of it.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I can't even remember. My shit's all twisted up. Or if they call it the dwarf division. I don't even remember. But anyway, he's been on the show before. Cool as and then i a cool dude and then i saw he made a post a few weeks ago that he had gone three years without drinking i was like no shit and when i talked to him i was kind of uh disappointed that either i'd forgotten that story about him or i was kind of disappointed in the fact that i didn't dig that out of him when I heard him say that on his Instagram.
Starting point is 00:02:07 So I'm like, I got to have that dude back on and hear about that story. Dude, talk about some fucking cliche shit. If he was drunk, if he was an Irish drunk dwarf, that's crazy. That's some cliche shit. That's like this cliche is like 15 black dudes robbing an Apple store. It's like crazy, crazy cliche. That's as cliche as an Armenian credit card stealing scam. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:02:40 Thank you, Citibank. Thank you very much, Citibank. I'm kind of happy when that Citibank story broke. I don't know if you guys remember, but a couple weeks ago, Citibank – I'll pull it up for those of you guys who don't remember. Citibank got caught for having – oh, Citibank Armenian. Citibank, a few – I don't know, a few weeks ago, a few days ago a few days ago shit let's just say the other day um city bank employees called them armenian bad guys and canceled their accounts and i just love this um when mary uh sabachian that's an armenian name started hearing rumors a few years ago that city bank was closing the accounts accounts of Armenian Americans in San Fernando Valley she thought it was impossible a giant
Starting point is 00:03:27 Wall Street bank would never do that I've told I told you guys the story right I told you guys the story even before this story broke that I sat down with the vice president of one of the largest banks in Southern California Jew lady and she's like yeah we don't have money to Armenians like she just straight up told me and I just love that because um it's like, yeah, we don't lend money to Armenians. Like she just straight up told me. And I just love that because it's like. When you're when you're black. When you black skin in this era, you think people are being racist to you, but no one is. It's actually worse for everyone else. It's actually worse for white people.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Everyone's actually overcompensating to be uh nice to black people like if the cops pull you over and you're a black person and you think that they're being harsh to you dude it's a hundred times worse for black dudes or white dudes i'm gonna repeat that again if you're black and the cops pull you over and you think that they're being harsh to you you have to remember it's a hundred times more harsh if you're a white dude they're overcompensating for you everyone's overcompensating for you and i just like it that i just like it that i just like all this shit you know what i mean like i went and visited my my grandparents home that the turks ran out during a real genocide not this bullshit that fucking tank talks about i got i got i got real racist
Starting point is 00:04:46 shit going on last week from city bank and black people complaining i got real shit i'm armenian i'm a black armenian i got real racist shit and i'm but i'm but i'm proud of it it's like exciting to me thank you oh thank you i'm a champion for all for all marginalized people i got little jew boys my wife doesn't want me talking about that on the air i mean i am the walking fucking like if just if some pictures would surface with a dick in my mouth i could get crazy gay coverage too. Crazy gay coverage. I don't want anyone photoshopping that either, please. It's not authentic.
Starting point is 00:05:28 I don't want it making the web. Someone, can I put you down as a reference on my resume? I don't know. What did you say to me yesterday? You said something to me yesterday that pissed me off, Robbie. You really pissed me off. Nothing more pisses me off than misunderstanding me. I'm an Armenian.ian with jew kids with blacks with a black with black
Starting point is 00:05:50 with black cultural uh deep black cultural roots what other shit do i got i'm short but back to tim murray could he really possibly have been a dwarf Irish alcoholic? Fucking crazy. But he's coming on. I'm stoked. He's coming wheel wide. And then yesterday and then a couple days ago, he a really passionate um post about his um his grandfather so i figured you know what let's have this fucking dude on we had a jedediah tolis wheel wads coming up he said it's like the premier shit for uh dudes with missing parts and
Starting point is 00:06:37 shit like that so the premier uh competition and um it looks like the wheel wad look at this The premier competition. And. It looks like the wheel wad. Look at this. Shit. Their shit's up. It looks like this adaptive event is. This shit's on YouTube already. Going live.
Starting point is 00:06:59 I'll notify me. Thank you. Subscribe with all notifications turned on. How does this account only have 831 subscribers? Anyway, I'm pumped. I kind of wish I was going. I would actually like to go. If this was by my house, I would go to this. I would go just to see Tim Murray and Jedediah.
Starting point is 00:07:33 I'm more interested in watching the, I'm more interested in watching the people with missing pieces compete then. Like dwarves and, like Jedediah's got all his pieces. Kinda. I guess not really. But I like what my brain trips out. Like if I see someone just with one arm. Like I can't fully process it.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I don't know if I'm in denial or what. But I like watching those dudes. What was the guy's name who ended up going to SoulCycle? He was cool as shit. Logan. What was the guy's name who ended up going to SoulCycle? He was cool as shit. Logan. What a trip. Oh, dude, dude. Holy cow, dude, Travis, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Wait till I send you the pictures. This is a kid-sized jersey. Travis sent me three of these and my kids put these on yesterday and we went in the gym and got at it and we're working out dude these are insane if you have my son is probably four foot two inches tall uh avi if you have a kid who's four feet tall to five feet tall you want one of these i don't even know if they sell these dude they are sick he looks so gangster in it he looks buff in it yeah these are sick these turned out so good dude um you were saying that mine was special because the letters were raised i kind of like this one better
Starting point is 00:08:58 not kind of i do like this one better i mean i'm appreciative that you sent me all of it. Oh, this is my new sweatshirt you sent me too. It's cold in my office this morning. It's crazy to think Dave and I were in here sweating like pigs. What was I saying? Anyway, I don't know if those are for sale. I hate getting clothes for Christmas. I'd be stoked if I got a CEO shirt. Pumped. I am pumped.
Starting point is 00:09:28 I was pumped when all that shit came yesterday. Hey, there's some sweatshirts in there, Travis. I can't tell if those are for my wife or my kids. My kids put them all on, but I was like, these are probably for my wife. You know? Let's see if I can turn the phone back on. Oh, here we go. Here's Travis right here.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Oh, is it working? Travis. Hey. Maybe it's working. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. How can I help you? That whole, that whole package has a bunch of miscellaneous stuff in it.
Starting point is 00:10:09 The warehouse accidentally sent me a bunch of random stuff that I didn't order. So I put them to use. Oh, that's awesome. Whoever can wear them, whoever can wear them can wear them. Okay, cool. Okay. Hey, the J okay. Then let me be critical about something. I loved everything. I wanted a zip up sweatshirt and you sent me one. Was that an accident? No. Oh, I meant to send you that. Just to see if you, how you liked it. I just, I, you're going to hate me for this,
Starting point is 00:10:37 but I wanted to say CEO across the zipper. I know that's a pain in the ass. Huge pain in the ass. I can try it, but the problem is you'll end up with a pain in the ass. Huge pain in the ass. Huge. I can try it. But the problem is you'll end up with a gap right down the middle of the logo. Right. Like there won't be space right. Right. Yeah. Let me send you some that I have where it does go across the middle.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Okay. Yeah, I'll take a look at it. Yeah, I know it's a pain. But it looks so much. It would look. I know it's a pain, but it looks so much better. It would look... I have some extras, so I can give it a try. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I'll do it. Hey, remind me to call you later. There's this thing I'm working on with Dale King. And when I say I'm working on it, he's doing all the work. I'm so fucking excited about it. Cool. Yeah. Let me know. I really wanted a it cool yeah let me know i really wanted
Starting point is 00:11:26 us so there's two two products i really uh wanted a soap and this other product i haven't cracked the code ceo soap i like that but there's this other soap there's this other product that's not soap that i'm really excited about that i talked to him about the other day i'm so pumped it's not going to be minty soap that makes your butthole tingle is it nope nope so pumped it's not going to be minty soap that makes your butthole tingle is it nope okay thank you for asking some people might like that some people like that gina's asking if there'll be ceo stuff at legends uh yes that's cool there will be some ceo stuff at legends you and greg should stop by pa Paulina and I are going to be there. Hey, if I'm there.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Oh, Jay Hartle, a CEO dildo. No, although I would run that by Dale. I'm not a toy guy. I'm not a dildo or vibrator guy at all. Dildo soap? It just gets smaller, though. That's the problem. I wonder how big the dildo market is in the United States.
Starting point is 00:12:22 What do you... Dildo market. It the United States. What do you, what do you, uh, uh, dildo, uh, market. It's probably bigger than you think. Um, wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:12:31 A sex toy market size has grown. Uh, is it, uh, global sex toys market size to surpass a 75 billion. Dude, that's crazy. Probably spiked two years ago.
Starting point is 00:12:44 During COVID. Uh, dude that's probably spiked two years ago during covid uh-huh i'm so i wonder what the i wonder what the um what the uh that 75 how much is for men and how much is for women i just can't imagine dudes being interested in toys at all we're so simple dudes are weird though i know but like like weird like paper towel roll weird not like like go out like like you're gonna get in your car and go down to the flashlight like you're yeah like you're gonna go on amazon somewhere and in order like i don't know dudes are weird it wouldn't surprise me i don't know i don't know there's a lot of women that probably wouldn't surprise us either though what they might have in their nightstand.
Starting point is 00:13:27 They want dudes to do, some women want dudes to do weird shit to them. Mm-hmm. Probably because of weird shit men have done to them. In the past, yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. That's a whole other show. I don't even know what a fleshlight is
Starting point is 00:13:45 I'm going to look that up really quick So every time someone says it on the show I know exactly what it is You guys were talking about Do you remember Aubrey Marcus Were you guys talking about him the other day The guy who started on it I think he's the one who started fleshlight
Starting point is 00:13:59 He invented it I'm on their website I know he worked there Is is this is this what a pocket pussy is it literally looks like a flashlight yeah with a vagina on one end a plastic vagina yeah and you just put your penis in there i guess I guess. Hey, dude, they have one. You ready for this, Travis? Did I lose you? I lost you.
Starting point is 00:14:30 They have one. Did I lose you? Oh, of course. Hey, it dropped you. The Rodecaster dropped you. Hello? Are you back? No, I'm back.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I'm here. Okay. They have one that's called the stamina training unit. Oh my goodness, dude. They have one that's shaped like a butthole. Ew. Instead of a vagina. This is incredible.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Dudes are weird. I just, like, if you use that, do you just get desensitized like 100% listen to this they have something called a sleeve warmer so that you put your fleshlight on you slip it over it before you use it
Starting point is 00:15:17 so it warms it up so your penis doesn't get cold you know they're selling them that's the scary part god I kind of wish I'd never seen somebody wants a cold wiener oh my wait they have ones that are supposedly
Starting point is 00:15:40 certain girls vaginas oh like modeled after yeah universal launch late uh quick shot launch what is that quick you find your you find your favorite porn star and then you can order her yeah parts oh god i can't believe i'm gonna click this they have something called dudes your search history is just going through the roof they have something called the quick launch quick shot quick launch i wonder what this is uh how long does it take you that you need a quick launch
Starting point is 00:16:21 different stroke length I wonder what this thing is product information the quick launch offers a fully automated flashlight experience for use with your quickshot toys the quickshot launch control lengths controls the length of your strokes as well as the speed oh so it's a more advanced oh so this thing Wow shit, you're not you're not controlling it. Good lord. Oh Sean M says hang up on this guy. That's rude The universal smart phone mount on top gives you the option of viewing your favorite content while both hands on your controls. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Good Lord. Like fully automated? Dude, this thing is, I have to show you guys this thing. This thing is crazy. Here we go. Sorry if you have kids at home. This thing is nuts. They might not even know what it is.
Starting point is 00:17:23 So you hold, I don't know if you can see that thing but you hold that thing by two handles my god do you see that thing how much does it say this this is 152 goodness oh cheaper than a hooker Bye thank you Travis Alright bye God Yo What's up
Starting point is 00:17:53 You're not in your car No not today New venue Hello office finally Hey in that video When I asked you to come on yesterday I didn't think you were going to be able to come on Because in that video i when i asked you to come on yesterday i didn't think you were going to be able to come on because in that video i thought that um you were already at wheelwod no i leave uh tomorrow morning okay hey where do you live again tim i live just outside
Starting point is 00:18:17 of cincinnati and okay and then um and then where's a wheelwod It's in Raleigh. Oh, right. North Carolina. Is that drivable? Yeah, it's about eight hours. Is that what you're doing? Yeah, because I looked at flights and layover, between layovers and stuff, it would have been the same distance minus the cost. So I was like, why not just drive down and get out of the car when I want to versus, you know, sitting in an airport. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Do you do that by yourself or do you roll in with somebody? I'm going to do it myself this go around. I was going to take my coach with me, but he has finals the week after their wheel one. So he didn't want to like rush finals finals like rush to get back for finals and stuff like finals like school shit yeah so this is cincinnati up here that i'm circling with my arrow for people who don't know and then he's going to drive uh i guess you're going to go you go through west virginia yeah i'll be through west virginia um then like probably parts of virginia and into carolina oh and it'll be a nice drive,
Starting point is 00:19:26 right? Yeah, it's all minus 50 miles of it or so, give or take, is at least one back country road. And no snow? No. It's cold as all get out right now. It's about 25 degrees
Starting point is 00:19:42 outside right now. Dang. Hey, are you, um, I had jetted eye on here. Um, he,
Starting point is 00:19:49 I think he, I think he won the, uh, CrossFit games for his division. Yeah. Wheelchair. You know, do you know,
Starting point is 00:19:56 uh, just through social media. I don't know him personally yet. I'll be able to meet him here soon. I hope. What's your take on, um, the on the, what's the word, not accolades. What's more prestigious, to win Wheelwod for you or to win the CrossFit Games?
Starting point is 00:20:22 I mean, obviously winning the CrossFit Games, like you get the title, fittest on earth, like it just comes with the you know just the winnings uh but um like I'm happy like I'm glad to finally be going to Wheelwalk because I can actually compete in person versus you know only doing it virtually the past two years so yeah it'd be nice to actually stack up and see everybody else versus like, you know, waiting for scores to come in. Yeah. I, I, I wish I could remember his answer, but I think it was something like that too. I think he was more like, uh, he liked the, he liked having the title CrossFit games, I think he said, but like, he knows that like winning wheel watt is more like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:21:00 you actually, you did something. Yeah. And the dudes are there and you got to compete. And he has 10 dudes in his class. How many do you have? I think we have five, five or six. And will they be all dudes you faced before? Yeah. They've all been, like, in the CrossFit Games, like, throughout the wheel lot. Like, last year's, like, wheel lot semifinals.
Starting point is 00:21:22 I didn't go to the finals last year because i was working with a hockey team and i was right in the middle of our season you didn't go to what finals the wheel wide one yeah oh no shit yeah oh shit i made it i just didn't get to go because i think we were on the road like a big road trip that weekend so i was like i can't take off to go and have fun in the middle of hockey season you go and have fun that's a funny way of having fun it was that hard did that bum you out were you like fuck yeah because like I you know I wanted to go like I made it I went that far and like you know I would have enjoyed being there but I mean I loved working hockey too so it's kind of like a win-win, if you will.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Like if I win, I was going to have fun and everybody was going to understand. But, you know, if I didn't go, then here I am playing hockey or working hockey, like hanging out with the guys. What do you do for the hockey team again? I was their athletic trainer. And how old are they? and how old are they um anywhere from it's like 18 to i think the oldest guy was 33 he just turned 34 we'll be turning to 34 this year and are you still doing that no i uh i left back in april um i was offered a job that paid me too much more money too much money to turn down. So, I mean, now I get to go to Wheelwod
Starting point is 00:22:46 and compete in all these different events now, which is kind of a bummer, but this economy right now, money's hard to pass up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Hey, did you have to move to get that money, or it's your hours changed? My hours changed. I actually get to stay in the same place.
Starting point is 00:23:03 I mean, I work 40-hour weeks, no nights, no weekends, no travel. So that's kind of hard to pass up. Hey dude, I've heard discussion about what's the best placement for an off season competition. And people like, I've heard a lot of people like say yeah rogue's the best because it's it's a long time before the open comes but psychologically it's kind of a bear because you're still a little scarred from from the games you like the spot where wheel watt is uh i mean i wouldn't mind it being like maybe a little bit earlier like kind of like right before thanksgiving because like i mean wheel watt ends and then it's maybe you get like a week off two weeks at most to get start
Starting point is 00:23:52 getting ready for the open so i mean i think obviously i think it used to be earlier but they could only get the venue like at this time like this was the best time to get the venue how about this how about this was another best time to get the venue how about this how about this was another interesting thing i hadn't thought of until jedediah was on here but you you guys are gonna lose a comp you used to have two prestigious competitions for a minimum i don't know what else you guys have in your ecosystem but you had wheel wad which i think just about everyone who's like games fanatic knows now. And then you had the game.
Starting point is 00:24:27 So you had two, right? Now it sounds like you're only going to get one now. Is it worth the tradeoff since you guys get to compete in person? Or what's the deal? And I say that, but the truth is I haven't actually talked to anyone at Wheelwod. So for all we know, they might bring it back. I'm just going off. Yeah, I don't know how they're going to do wheelwad um i know wheelwad
Starting point is 00:24:49 is like running the games side of it now so like we're going to have the open then we'll have i think quarters and semis so it's going to be the same process as everybody else with an in-person finals but i don't know if like that's going to take over wheel watt or if wheel watt is going to like still be its own thing like as a qualifying event type of deal because i mean it's hard for me i got i mean on my mind it's hard to take that away especially when you have a built-in like qualifier already yeah yeah so i mean i don't like they haven't really given much information as far as what that's like going to look like next year but you don't know where I don't, like I said, they haven't really given much information as far as what that's going to look like next year. You don't know where, you don't know the dates.
Starting point is 00:25:29 I did hear, I don't know if this is true either, I did hear it has to be within, I don't know if this, I've just made this up. I heard it somewhere. It has to be within, those events will be within three weeks of the games. Meaning the adaptive, the age. Was there another one um whatever whatever the other ones are that split off from the games there has to oh teen teen yeah yeah so uh i mean that makes sense like the way i would see that is like it's like the paralympics and olympics are all two weeks apart um so like the olympics are like next year that we hosted in paris and then the paralympics come in like two weeks to a month after so if it's like that that's awesome i think
Starting point is 00:26:15 that's a great setup sorry i had left the ceo dildo up the whole time you've been very, very, very unprofessional. We shoot for excellence here at the stuff. Hi, you're welcome. Yeah. Thank you, Rocky. Thank you. Robbie Myers, you get all the credit for putting my dildo back under my desk. Hey, you, you'd made this post a couple of weeks ago ago i saw that you'd been sober for three years and i don't remember i don't remember talking to you about that in the past dude that's a crazy cliche dude tim murray the drunk dwarf yeah dude that's crazy yeah did you have a serious drinking problem uh yeah i mean i liked it like i was i never like i didn't drink all the time like i didn't
Starting point is 00:27:07 drink every day oh like i could never have just one yeah and like it started leading towards like some not some great things yeah like like uh uh did you go to jail no i didn't go to jail i do got lucky on a few times oh Oh. Got away from it. But like it was. Hey, good. That's a good, a good, nice cop. You met a nice cop. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Nice. Nice. Nice. So I hope my mom doesn't see this. No, I just was starting to ruin relationships and friendships. So it was either that or live my life in alcohol or family. You haven't had alcohol in three years? No alcohol. And did the relationships improve?
Starting point is 00:27:55 Yeah. I get to go run around with my nephews. If I was waking up sober, I would hungover. My dog would be crazy. But relationships have changed for sure as well. I know what I want. I know exactly what I want, not just someone there. But they've helped out big time.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Was it easy abstaining? Yeah, I think so. Because, again, I didn't drink all the time like every day but you know when i would drink it was let's go big or go home like next thing i'd wake up on my couch like it's three o'clock in the morning and i was trying to question how i got there um uh always was it always at home did you drink at home always yeah covid like kind of took over yeah um you know like once like with everybody covid kind of just kind of yeah i started i did day drinking during covid for like four or five months yeah i literally wake up in the morning i'd crack a can of kombucha and mix it with sparkling water and i would hear my wife from the other room like at seven morning go are you fucking serious yeah yeah so i mean it was i was trying to get into it until i wasn't yeah that's kind of like what happened was like i was tired of waking up hung over like feeling
Starting point is 00:29:17 like shit and not being able to train like well i wasn't doing crossfit at that time but workout like or anything like that, I was just miserable. I was tired of being miserable. And I just kind of took over from there. Did you do it yourself or did you get help? Did you go to AA or anything? I did it myself. I had friends that were also sober, so I would talk to them.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Yeah. Whenever I needed to. I needed something so and like all my like friends and family understood like they so you let it be known it was like fuck you told people like i'm gonna quit drinking yep anyone talk to you anyone like be like your mom come up to you before you quit and be like yo ding dong you gotta drink it there were a few times yeah uh like i remember a family christmas we used to do like for a gift exchange like if we wanted to block someone from taking our gift we would take a shot of bourbon oh and uh one year i don't remember like i just remember doing the gift exchange and then waking up in my bed at home oh damn yeah so that uh that wasn't a good picture to see cave dastro um what is this
Starting point is 00:30:29 what is this nonsense over here where's my arrow uh you should have been going to an affiliate and getting as fit as possible during that time sebi you shut your face your mom should have been in my at my house every day during that time tell me what to do i enjoyed it i had fun i don't have zero regrets i'm glad i had the experience aren't you glad you had the experience i think you're probably i think you're cooler for quitting but you couldn't quit unless you did it exactly like i i feel better like i feel much better like with everything in my life and you got a good experience you're like fuck that alcohol is a son of a bitch yeah like it was it was, it was, it was all bourbon. Like that's what, that was my drink of choice.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Like I drink beer too at the bar and then like go home, have a nightcap. And next thing you know, you're getting me on. I'd be like, oh, I'm fine. Next thing you know, I'm, yeah. Mixing's crazy. Mixing alcohol is crazy. Yeah. It wasn't the smartest decision.
Starting point is 00:31:22 I stopped, I didn't, I stopped doing, I drank in high school a lot, and I mixed because it was just like, hey, just drink whatever you can. Yeah. That was fucking horrible. That's where all the hangovers and all that shit's horrible. Yeah. Dan Guerrero, Sevan, I had a dream last night. You were naked and balls deep in me.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Oh, Dan, that's so sweet. Thank you. Thank you. That wasn had a dream last night. You were naked and balls deep in me. Oh, Dan, that's so sweet. Thank you. Thank you. That wasn't a dream. Hey, and I want to hear the cop story. Can you pretend like it's someone else? Yeah. I was at a work function.
Starting point is 00:32:04 It was like a work Christmas party. And at this time, I was at a work function. It was like a work Christmas party. And at this time I was- A lot of people get fired from those work Christmas parties. Good thing you stopped drinking. Yeah. Every year someone the next day after the Christmas party gets called into HR, they're like, yo, you had your dick in the fucking apple sauce. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't anything like that, luckily.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Your boss was there. He was the one actually getting me the drink so yeah your boss yeah yeah yeah race big big drinkers but um irish irish huh irish yeah yep damn yep so keeping the the stereotypes alive yeah i was living uh like an hour from work at that time so i was on my way home and like it's back country road and they had like the cops were out like doing their thing like just pulling people like that like a traffic stop and i thought it was a wreck at first because it got real foggy and of course i'm slightly you know buzzed more than slightly more than slightly buzzed um and i pull up and the cop stops me and he like
Starting point is 00:33:06 starts talking to me he's like oh all right man just be safe it's like all right you're just hey probably looking that was it he did he make you get out of the car no i think they were looking for uh like it's not part of the state like it's not like it's got some like drug trafficking and whatnot. And so I think that's probably what they were looking for. Like people. Did he ask you how many drinks you've had? No, I got, he didn't. Like I, I was able to, I somehow played it off it.
Starting point is 00:33:35 He couldn't even, didn't even ask. Do you think, but you think he knew? There's no way he didn't know. Wow. Hey, you think he let you off because you're a dwarf? Like you got you got the reverse of like if you were a black dwarf, would you go to jail? Oh, my God. For sure. I don't I guess I don't know what their purpose was that night, but I think I just got lucky. Twice I got let off where I was really fucked up.
Starting point is 00:34:14 I should definitely not tell the story. Dan and David, go to the bathroom right now. You guys don't need this ammo. I got off the freeway exit. I was coming home to my mom's house. I was in a Toyota pickup truck, and it was raining. It was probably 2 in the morning, and as I came – there's no one out. It's a small town with like 25,000 people and two stoplights. I come down.
Starting point is 00:34:34 There's a stoplight, and I make a right-hand turn, and it's wet, and I gun it. I go from third to second gear, and I gun it and let the back end come out a little bit. It was a spaceship. Cop fucking pulls me over. and I gun it and let the back end, you know, come out a little bit. It was a friendship. Cop fucking pulls me over. I immediately start crying and tell him that I was at a party and my best friend had been making out with my girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:34:52 And I was just really angry and taking it out on my car. I got off. I got off. Yeah. Crazy. Devesh Maharaj black plus dwarf cancels each other out so they would treat him as a regular white guy throw him in jail
Starting point is 00:35:08 alright fine he did the math alright jeez Louise oh thank you I forgot my oh god you're a queen thank you thank you thank you
Starting point is 00:35:22 and then so do you miss it at all? The drinking? Uh, there's like a few times I do like when my friends are out, like if I had a family function, like everyone's got alcohol. I mean,
Starting point is 00:35:35 big Italian Irish family. So like alcohol is always flowing. Um, but other than that, like I'm like, I get home, I go home, get to sleep in my own bed.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Like, don't worry about, have to worry about getting home. That's good. Hey, any other, that, like I get home, I go home, get to sleep in my own bed. Like, don't worry about have to worry about getting home. That's good. Hey, any other I don't I don't want to be so dramatic, but recovering alcoholics in the family that like you hang with, like the whole family's drunk and the three you in the corner, like playing like cards or some shit like, fuck, we suck. No, I'm the only one. I'm the only one. No, I'm the only one.
Starting point is 00:36:03 I'm the only one. Someone. Well, my cousin's husband is sober now, but like everybody, you know, does the same thing. Like treats it, treats us all the same. Like we're all hanging out, having fun. Yeah. You think you'd be at Wheelwad if you were still drinking this year? No.
Starting point is 00:36:24 So it did play a big role. It was an impact in your life. Yeah. You know you wouldn't be there? I don't think I'd want to go. Because I just want to be, like, home, lazy, like, just having fun. Like, I say having fun, but, like, just being at home, being lazy, drinking while watching some stupid show on Netflix or whatever. drinking while watching some stupid show on Netflix or whatever. Do you think you replaced drinking with anything, like working out,
Starting point is 00:36:51 or video games? Have you replaced anything, or work, or replaced with anything? I mean, I work out a little bit more now, but I also eat a lot more ice cream. So I think the ice cream is definitely the thing that replaced it. Dude, every time I say this, someone fucking yells at me in the comments, but fuck them. They have no idea what they're talking about. When I was drinking a lot, which is like my whole life on and off, my wife would just be like, hey, it's really you just want sugar.
Starting point is 00:37:17 And I'd be like, really? And every time she'd be like, slice me an apple or something, I'd eat it. And the desire for alcohol completely went away from eating a piece of fruit oh seven it's not like that some people are addicted fuck you it works for most of us yeah anyway it was great yeah only reason why i said it works for me because if it works for me i'm pretty i'm normal as shit so yeah that's that's interesting so you get ice cream so you get the sugar you want and then the desire to drink just goes. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Yeah, it makes complete sense. Yeah, it makes – I wouldn't have looked at it that way, but that makes total sense now. Yeah, you're having – you want some hormonal insulin response you're looking for. And so you get some sugar, and you're like, ah. That's it. It especially happens when I'm tired. Yeah, that's like usually at the end it. Especially happens when I'm tired. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:05 That's like usually at the end of the day is when I get it. Like I'm done for the day. I probably go to sleep, but instead I eat fucking seven pounds of dried mangoes, two pounds of pistachios. You have a, you have a nut issue. Do you eat too many nuts?
Starting point is 00:38:19 I eat too many nuts. No, I, uh, I'll get cashews every now and then. Like just, I like their, like the taste of those. But other than that, I don't really like go crazy with them.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Yeah. Cashews are great too. Um, and, and then, um, and then your, your, your grandfather, you made a pretty passionate post the other day about your grandfather. What, what was it? What was your relationship with him like? He's like who I look up to. He's who I try to take after. He passed away when I was a freshman in college. He would always take us camping, teach us how to be creative, use our imagination. He was a semi-pro football player. He was an all-around guy I wanted to just be like. He helped found the Special Olympics here in Northern Kentucky.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Oh, shit. Why did he do that? Why did he do that? My uncle was born with cerebral palsy. Uh-huh. And he just wanted my uncle to be able to compete, have fun, do the same thing that my dad and my other uncle were doing. They both played football in high school, baseball, all the different sports.
Starting point is 00:39:32 So he just wanted the youngest to be just like them. And at that time it was in Cincinnati. They had it in Cincinnati, but it was good to get someone back in the 80s, 70s, 80s who didn't have these nice vans that they do now to make it easy to transport people. He found a way to
Starting point is 00:39:51 just brought it across the river into northern Kentucky. People will move mountains for their fucking kids. Yep. He kind of did the same for me with the little people of America. He helped me go to my first convention. So I kind of want to give back.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Did he find it and be like, hey, dude, we should go to this? I think my parents did. And then it was always like my dad was a high school football coach for a while, especially when I was younger. And so we just never found the time. And then they had it at Indyy which is about two hours away and he was like let's go like you're going and ever since then like my grandpa was like told my dad he's like if you want him to go if tim wants to go like i will help make sure that he can go
Starting point is 00:40:40 god you know what um there's some great shit you could do there i wonder if the little people of america has some people like who are like six feet tall and you're like hey what are you doing here they're like hey i identify as being a little person what fuck you get out of here they will probably eventually oh yeah for sure not yet it's coming someone out there hey you know what else would be cool too is if you're the little people of america you hire someone there you hire like some seven foot five dude to come there yeah so you guys could all just talk shit to them um i don't think they have to hire anybody that that person is going to find it and walk in anyway you're gonna be like oh look at this hey um uh are you the are you the shortest crossfit
Starting point is 00:41:31 champion ever uh i mean i guess technically yes yeah are you shorter than nike no i think i got him by like oh oh so you're not the shortest no you don't and then we have like the female side now as well like there were five or six of them as like the females as well this year and they're shorter too yeah they work like dwarves work just like regular people the the chicks are smaller yep yeah that's good hey that started with just dudes, that division? Yeah. I think last year there was one girl. I think maybe two signed up, but they may have kind of been found out.
Starting point is 00:42:16 But there was one that finished. And this year, I think there were two or three, three or four, something like that. I can't remember how many to be exact. I proposed today, by the way, that idea that i shared with you last time about you take the four best um people from your class yeah and you and you save their final workout and you bring them to fucking dickies and on the last day you march them out there and have them compete i go the place will go fucking crazy and he was quiet and I'm like it would right
Starting point is 00:42:45 he goes yeah the place would go crazy do that shit people will lose their shit they'll be standing people will go crazy so I planted the seed I like it we can do that shit it's our sport
Starting point is 00:43:01 no one can be like no we can't do that it's the NFL no fuck you we're marching out we're a dwarf right here on espn we do it we do it our way yeah yeah fucking dope um going going back to your grand your granddad was that on your mom's side uh my dad's side yeah he was around your whole life yeah Yeah, up until my freshman year of college. So 2006, I think, is when he passed away. How did he die? He had pretty bad COPD. Was he a smoker?
Starting point is 00:43:36 My grandma was. Oh. The secondhand smoke is what it ended up being. And then he went in for a stomach her hernia surgery and he just couldn't like recover from it. Like the surgery went great, but coming off the anesthesia, like it just couldn't recover from that.
Starting point is 00:43:54 I wonder what the, um, I wonder if he resented your grant. Was your grandma dead at the time? Yeah. She passed away in 96 from a smoking related shit. Yeah. Long cancer.
Starting point is 00:44:06 I wonder if you, I wonder if he was pissed. I wonder if he resented her for that. I don't know. He's a tough guy to do that for, to be like that. Yeah. I don't think he would have. I don't think he would have. Jeez Louise, he died because of secondhand smoke.
Starting point is 00:44:22 What the? geez louise uh he died because of secondhand smoke what the yeah hey when when when the stats started coming out from china in 2020 or early 2020 talking about the people who were dying of covid it was um 90 of like the people who died were men over the age of 65 who had smoked for more than 30 years the second highest group was women who lived with those men yeah crazy right yeah burning shit and like inhaling the fumes people like weed's good for you uh i don't think burning anything and breathing the life of it's probably yeah right let's put smoke in our lungs it's supposed to be oxygen yeah i don't yeah it seems uh like a bad uh bad juju um you think you you think where's your fitness you think you're the fittest um
Starting point is 00:45:11 i'm feeling pretty good going in you look good you look great thank you yeah i feel really good going in um maybe a pound or two heavier than i wanted to be but i mean it is what it is you know like how will that how will that affect you will you be stronger because of that but just Maybe a pound or two heavier than I want it to be, but it is what it is. How will that affect you? Will you be stronger because of that, but just worse gymnastics, like Josh was saying on the show yesterday? Yeah, the gymnastics will be the hardest part. Just being able to put string pull-ups and whatnot together the way I'd like to, but you've got to do it anyway.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Do you think you win it oh yeah yeah i'm feeling really good about it this year going into it like just strong fast quick like everything felt great yesterday i gotta have another workout today we'll see how that goes and take tomorrow off for travel there is kind of that um there's kind of a winner takes all kind of peace to this yeah because you tied with mikey at the games yeah and so whoever wins this kind of like gets the whole kit and caboodle it's kind of like well fuck you i'm better than you yeah so if you kind of you kind of get the games title too you know what i mean by that like oh yeah yeah like uh like that third uh third event yeah exactly you have one tiebreaker yeah the tiebreaker you continued you didn't get close
Starting point is 00:46:35 you guys didn't get closure at the games no this is it'll be to this one yeah that's cool your parents going no they gotta stay around for the nephews. They got to work as well. Any family going? Nah, not this go around. No shit, you're going by yourself? Yep. I'd be throwing a little, do you have a little bit of a pity party going at all for that or no?
Starting point is 00:46:59 Nah. No. Nah. I'm enjoying it. It's fun. Like, I'm kind it. It's fun. I'm kind of a loner when it comes to competition type things anyway because I'll just sit in the corner somewhere until it's ready to go, until I get up to warm up.
Starting point is 00:47:16 But for the most part, it's almost like a distraction. I feel like I'd have to entertain them when I'm not doing something. Right, right, right. I'd just rather be there by myself. I'd have to entertain them while, when I'm not doing something. Right. Right. Right. So like, I'd just rather be there by myself. Like I'll have some teammates there. Like there'll be other people I'll meet there. But like,
Starting point is 00:47:30 as far as from here, it's just me. Yeah. God, don't you, that's why I hate having people over at my house, but I kind of cracked the code on that about five years ago. I used to feel,
Starting point is 00:47:40 I didn't like having people in my house. Cause I feel like I had to entertain them. Yeah. But like five years ago, I don't even, I didn't even care. And my wife because I feel like I had to entertain them yeah but like five years ago I don't even I didn't even care and my wife to this day my wife will be like I'll be like hey I invited a bunch of people over to watch the fight she's like well what are we going to feed them I'm like just opened up a package of salami yeah just throw it on the counter yeah order some pizza like yeah she didn't go on that he still feels uh like like we got gotta like take care
Starting point is 00:48:06 of them i'm like no a box of crackers and some salami and some cheese and throw a knife out there and bought in a roll paper towel we're good yeah no or let like tell everybody to bring something yeah get the cheapest case of sparkling water you can from uh safely let's go yeah yeah that's the way to do it yeah i'm already paying for the 79.99 for the way to do it. Yeah. I'm already paying for the $79.99 for the fight. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so good at ignoring my guests now. Corey Bradshaw, a good question.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Will Wheelwod be live streamed? I did see, I do have a link somewhere. It'll be on their YouTube page. Let me see. You know what's cool? I don't know how he got it, but Caleb got this link from Kevin Ogar's wife. Oh, okay. So I was actually kind of flattered.
Starting point is 00:48:55 That means that she was kind of paying attention, and she knew that I guess you were coming on the show. So that was cool of her to set us up. And then, hey, guys, I'll paste the link down here. So don't leave the podcast, but what you want to do is open a new window, click that link, and subscribe to WheelWad, and then set the settings to you go here, and you hit subscribe, and then you go to all.
Starting point is 00:49:19 You should pretty much do that with it. Like WheelWad, like how much shit are they actually going to put out? You might as well just get all their notifications. It's not like they're going to put out you might as well just get all their notifications it's not like they're bugging you yeah so like i like i think the video they posted was from like the last workout last year on youtube oh that was last one yeah there you go look i'm the first one to like it oh and uh uh i'll put can't wait right there you go I got first comment. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:47 I don't even know what this button does. Save. I don't know what that does. Oh, save video. Oh, there you go. What's this button do? Report. Should I report them for something?
Starting point is 00:50:04 Maybe if I don't. Oh, look it. Now there maybe if i don't look now there's three likes look now there's three likes look at that all right all the time fucking hashtag influencer let me refresh the screen see if we got some more subscribes too oh shit one more subscriber all right i i think i subscribed I think, or the other day. A long competition? Is it four days? Four days, 11 workouts. Is that excessive?
Starting point is 00:50:38 I don't think so because they've released two of them. Yeah. The first one is going to be a swimming workout. Okay. Every three minutes on the minute like third minute and like it's like just uh for us it'll be 25 50 75 50 25 meters like just down and back and then like everybody else depending on their division like it's either longer or even like stays the same as ours and so and when you say that you're suggesting that the swimming won't it's not a beat down i don't think
Starting point is 00:51:11 so like i but then again i haven't swam in like over like a year and a half so we'll see how this goes no shit really you haven't swam in a year and a half i just don't have a good access like pool to access like i mean friends in a in a in a will you wear a um no i won't wear a swim cap that's too much work i've seen how those go and it's just a lot of work but you look good in it dude hey will you wear a speedo uh i have basically like biker shorts yeah they are like the longer you should really get a cap just for intimidation dude just for they might even provide them they might have a sponsor something there that provides that'd be cool like they might like i can't remember i think i remember seeing some people last year with the swim cap on dude just pull roll up right on mikey swoosh and
Starting point is 00:52:00 when you put it on snap it because that i think that snapping sounds kind of intimidating snap just hide the pain yeah yeah hey um i think if you are going to get one i think there's a special way to put those on so you learn or else you look like a ding dong out there yeah like uh i'm in high school like oh okay so like i have like a bit of the swimming background but i never like wore the swim cap you're gonna kill it you really did swim in high school like oh okay so like i have like a bit of the swimming background but i never like wore the swim cap you're gonna kill it you really did swim in high school yeah it was more like for the be in shape like to get in shape and stuff yeah all right you're good yeah that's like those swimmer people you guys who swim that's like riding a bike for you guys once you guys do it you guys kind of you crack the code on it yeah but it's the water like the water totally completely changes like the resistance and the cardio like you kind of humbles you real quick um i still am tripping on the fact you'll be there
Starting point is 00:52:53 by yourself so every morning you'll pack a duffel bag and you'll just have all you have to make sure you have all your shit in there no one's running out and like getting you anything no i just keep it there it's all in the like i'm very simple like i'll show up with like my clothes like my workout stuff on and then like my bag has everything i need in it so it's not like i yeah need a whole lot and then you'll finish sunday and jump in your car and drive home uh i'll stay till monday morning you will yeah because i don't want like it's like it'll finish around 7 p.m so like i don't want to make try and make that eight hour drive through the mountains like tired and exhausted how old are you getting you're 35 36 i'll be 37 in february yeah i knew you were old yeah i keep telling myself that dude i did this workout yesterday
Starting point is 00:53:48 first hiller hiller told pedro to do this workout the guy who does the coffee pods and wads workout yeah and it's 30 seconds on 30 seconds off on an assault bike for 10 minutes and pedro did it and he set said sometime i forget what he said but uh i didn't even look at what he said before i did it and he's like hey i think he said hey you need to do that too seven so i did it and i thought and i told him i was going to try to hold 70 RPMs. Yeah. And so then I did it. And when I did it, when I'd get on, I'd get it up to 78. And then it would come back down to like 73 or 70. And I would kind of hold it there.
Starting point is 00:54:33 And anyway, I think I got like 107 calories and Pedro got 109. Jeez. Anyway, it was not very good. And I was very disappointed that he beat me because I just think of him as like, just like just some, just Irish dude who lives in a fucking hot and onion Ireland. You know what I mean? Like,
Starting point is 00:54:50 like I'm a cool California dude. Yeah. Fucking beat me. But then I was like, I'm old. Yeah. Yeah. I'm old.
Starting point is 00:55:01 You realize that? Yeah. That's my excuses for everything now. I'm old. You realize that? Yeah. That's my excuses for everything now. I'm old. The fuck did this Irish fucking dude with pasty skin beat me? And then Brian Spinn did it and he beat me too. They all beat me. I suck.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I'm the worst dude. I was the, I was the weakest. I was the worst CrossFitter at HQ and I'm, and I'm the worst CrossFitter in my thread. Yeah. You don't ride the assault bike, right? No no i'm trying to get someone to set it up so i can right does anyone do does anyone in your division ride it uh i mean if we do it's more
Starting point is 00:55:36 like it's all arms like it's just the arm portion of it how about the c2 does the seat go low enough on that the one um no i've tried that one as well like i looked at least looked into it but no like we have a couple at the gym like a couple people brought like their own and i've like tried to sit on it and see what i can do but nothing's like it just needs to go like another six four or five maybe five to six inches lower how about the the designs of the skier in the rower did you fit on those yeah rower's fine like skier um like they have extensions for them which i'm not a huge fan of though because like it wraps around like like the handle yeah handle stays where it's at so like if
Starting point is 00:56:19 i go to a pool then i still have all that slack and the uh like in the line so i'm not like getting anything out of it how i don't understand why someone hasn't cracked the code on the bike yet i understand no one would do it for you guys there's just not enough of you just not financially make sense but kids kids they're doing the fucking market. You're just like shorter women and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, when you go clothes shopping, do you shop in the kids division? Because when I was in, no, when I was in college, I would always go. They had a sporting goods store like Big Five.
Starting point is 00:56:58 I can't remember what it was. But I always shopped in the kids division because they had all the same clothes and they were fucking half the price. Yeah. Like, I, the clothes for, like, my clothes are, I mean, I'm a 32 waist, and then my chest is, like, 38 inches. So, the same, I mean, the only difference is, like, the sleeves are a little bit longer. Yeah. Yeah. So, what size is that right there that you're wearing?
Starting point is 00:57:21 This is a medium. Yeah. And is it tight on you, like, here in the back or in the chest no it's actually like pretty pretty what do you do you just take it to a seamstress and you're like hey dude i don't want this around my knees hem this up four inches yeah if i need to for that like i mean the hoodies like are pretty good as far as like length goes on me because i have the same size torso it's just like my limbs aren't the same length that really that's the deal yeah so i never even i never even knew that yeah i'm sitting there i was like sitting next to someone like you see like we're like the same height like sitting down like you
Starting point is 00:57:58 wouldn't know that there was a difference until like we stood up obviously right that's like um uh well all all my all like basically it's i mean preaching to the choir but basically everything i wear all the shirts are too long or every everything's just too long like i like i have do you have a stack of in your house where it has to go to the seamstress i always have a stack of stuff it's like this at some point i gotta go and get this shit like sewed up yep like the dress shirts like the big ones and then like obviously you have a stack right now at your house of stuff that like hey this has to go i have to go to the cleaner and get this shit sewed up yep god genius look at me keep looking like do i really want to go and take it because i actually
Starting point is 00:58:41 had um people mess up my shirt sleeves like my dress shirts yeah like one lady like they try and get like fancy and creative with it so like they try and take it from the shoulder and move it up yeah and then when they do that like they shorten everything and i walk around like this because i can't get my arms in oh because your arms are too big yeah yeah and then like they put the sleeves on backwards so like i go to button it and it's like upside down my only thing is is i like all every pants i've ever owned are too long yeah and 51 of them when i get them hemmed they're hemmed too short yeah that's the same with me my pants i just look like a douche i look like yeah i try and like hope that i can like slide my pants down a little bit yeah so i can like now i need to look like i took a shit in my pants or i can wear floods
Starting point is 00:59:38 uh well dude i appreciate you coming on i didn't give you much notice i know i text you late last night um i appreciate you coming on i'm excited for you uh thanks for sharing the stories uh congratulations on uh sobriety taking control of your life is like that's the only thing like that we're only thing we're fucking capable of and it's where all of our happiness resides and so you're what a great uh story for me to hear and uh and for you to remember your grandfather that's some cool shit too you're you're you're uh inspiration dude thank you appreciate that thank you yeah and uh we'll talk soon we'll uh we'll talk when you come back and can't wait to hear about it
Starting point is 01:00:22 all right sounds good thank you if you win if you win, if you win, if I win. Okay. That's fine. I'll go in then. All right, brother. Have a good one. You're a champion.
Starting point is 01:00:31 Thank you, brother. See ya. Going to wheel ward. Tim Murray. Fuck. Two short dudes in a row. Josh Bridges and Tim Murray.
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Starting point is 01:01:40 Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Oh, look, someone just texted me. Tim Bernie's the man. I agree. Damn, I sent Danielle Brandon a link, too. I thought it would be awesome. I just thought it would be legendary status to have her with the fucking games champ on. Tim Murray, Danielle Brandon, me. Road trip, cross-country road trip, me and Danielle Brandon, Tim Murray.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Promoting Rad, Rad Shoes. Should have asked him what he thought about rad all right i think i'm done the fuck do i gotta do i guess i could try calling danielle let me just try calling danielle real quick i don't even know if my fucking phone works anymore. Let's see if she answers. You want to see if she answers? I was going to have her on as a guest, but let's just...
Starting point is 01:02:57 Danielle Brandon CF or just Danielle Brandon? What's this other one? Danielle Brandon CF? Oh, they're the same number. Let's see. Okay, here we go. It's appropriate to call, right? It's an honor for me to call someone, right?
Starting point is 01:03:23 Please leave your message for 7 to... Son of a bitch. I think she hung up. She got you blocked. She hung up for sure. Right? It rang once and she hung up. God damn it, Danielle.
Starting point is 01:03:40 How am I supposed to look cool if you don't answer? Okay. How am I supposed to look cool if you don't answer? Not cold calling. I talk to her all the time. No, definitely cold calling. Heidi Groom wrote uh cold calling Danielle uh nice yeah WAD zombie she could have at least let it ring a few times I agree look is there a Daniel Brandon
Starting point is 01:04:12 WAD zombie card uh Alexis Raptus pretty cool chick Emily Rolfe oh Daniel Brandon only the dudes are allowed on my desk Colton Mertens I put the girls on the back of the bus back here
Starting point is 01:04:47 Colton Mertens. He's even got his own little stand. Get him at the WAD zombie store. But she has you blocked. No shit, you think let me see uh how many of you subscribe to wheel wad uh oh six of you oh six likes too wow crazy good job guys fucking we're moving the needle um tomorrow there's something you guys should know about um coffee wads and pods um look at this look at this look at this my guys look at this uh coffee wads and pods um Guys look at this
Starting point is 01:05:48 Coffee wads and pods I'm gonna click on the link now and then look look at this. Oh wait. Where oh look at upcoming live streams. What is this? Around the whiteboard. Andrew Hiller. Craig Howard. In this chick here. Give this a. What.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Debate is healthy. Especially when it's for points. When is this? Wait, this is scheduled for November 29th. I'm hearing all sorts of buzz about this show. Oh, this is in 27 hours. This is, so this is tomorrow at 11 a.m. Oh, this is, this is tomorrow at 12 p.m. my time.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Notify me. Fuck. Subscribe. All. What's this? Join. Join. Join.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Look at this. Look at all these things. Everyone's making money but me. what the fuck is going on here what's this report perks what if like if one of the perks was like a naked picture of uh pedro you would report it
Starting point is 01:07:21 a naked picture of Pedro, you would report it. Um, uh, I don't know. I know. I don't know if I'm going to do the perks thing. Cause you guys send me so much money anyway. So let's say wads on me sends me like fucking,
Starting point is 01:07:36 I don't know, 20 bucks a month already in donations, like dollar 99 here for 99 there. And then he's going to buy a membership for five 99 a month. And he's going to be like, fuck that. I ain't donating more. And then I'm fucked. And it's a loss. That's not, that wouldn't be very Jew-y of me.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Cave Dastro. You're tarted, Seve. I've been telling you for to do it. You're retarded. You're just straight up retarded. It's so funny Oh that's a great idea Cave thanks Thank you
Starting point is 01:08:11 Oh my god what would I do without you Someone the other day on the show Thought that I was making fun of them. By the other day, I mean this is five or six months ago. And they sent me a text message basically telling them that they had my back when no one had my back. I wish I could read you the text message. It's so fucking pathetic. People are fucking crazy.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Oh, you made these emojis yourself? It's like, listen, dude, nobody had my back when nobody had my back because everyone always had my back. I never felt like nobody had my back. I've never, I've always felt like a fucking stud and a fucking king. Always fucking king always always always always i went from being a crazy super hyper 100 insecure little high school kid and college kid and not even knowing it just living in the bliss of insecurity
Starting point is 01:09:19 to um uh To be in just a fucking powerhouse. It was over just one giant awakening. Tell me you had my fucking back. My wife's got my fucking back like no motherfucker ever had. No one's back. My mom got my fucking back. My sister got my back. I'm surrounded by people that got my back Caleb got my back
Starting point is 01:09:48 Sousa got my back I don't let anyone around me who don't got my back Get the fuck out of here Carolyn has my back Hey Sevan and everyone I just got here Oh hi God This is a fucking weird group of people
Starting point is 01:10:04 I just love how arrogant that is God, this is a fucking weird group of people. I just love how arrogant that is, but I just know you're the sweetest, humblest person ever. But you're just like, yep, I'm here. Everyone needs me. I'm here. Jody Lynn.
Starting point is 01:10:20 See, like, look at, look, people. Fuck this. You know we always have your back. Jody Lynn, $49.99. Now, listen, I cannot even believe this. I'm going to fucking call Pedro and ask him if anyone's ever donated $49.99 to a show, ever. Here I am supporting Pedro, and now I'm going to call him all the way over in Ireland. Just a big dickum.
Starting point is 01:10:44 But it'll be a fail if he says someone has. Let me see. Where's his phone number? How do I do this? I do. You guys want Pedro's number? I'm going to say it out loud. It's plus 353-87925.
Starting point is 01:11:04 There you go. Give him a call. Okay Okay let's see what Pedro answers Look how is it even a real ring Why on god's mean earth Would anyone donate more than ten dollars to me Look at this shit Pedro You're trying to fuck up the whole game By starting your fucking memberships
Starting point is 01:11:24 Got me all fucking rattled I don't know what the fuck I'm doing Trying to disrupt the whole game I'm trying to pay my electricity You think you're fucking Kanye and shit I'm Kanye post break And post easy deal counseling You're the Irish Kanye
Starting point is 01:11:44 How about the dwarf that drank too much who's Irish? I actually just worked out on hearing him talk about it. I actually just Googled when the 7th of July 2018 was, and it's been 2,000 days since I drank. Oh, no shit. Good job. Why did you stop? I was at a wedding, and then the next day I couldn't remember.
Starting point is 01:12:08 I didn't do anything bad, but I just couldn't remember the wedding. And I was down like a hundred dollars and I was like, this is fucking stupid. So I just stopped. And then we had kids. Did you have a lipstick ring around the base of your penis? Can't remember down a hundred bucks and a lipstick ring around your penis. No, my wife doesn't wear lipstick. Oh God, I love you so much for that. She already hates me.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Then we had two kids. So I don't know how people that have kids deal with hangovers. Like that would be the worst. 2,000 days. That's that's impressive god you seem um way too uh dorky to me to have ever had a drinking problem i'm so happy that you had that that's awesome yeah i don't know i don't have a problem but i just say regular binge drinking i wasn't like reliant on it okay a regular binge drinker but not reliant on it yeah actually doesn't sound as good as it did in my head maybe i did have a problem A regular binge drinker, but not reliant on it. Yeah. Yeah. It actually doesn't sound as good as it did in my head.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Maybe I did have a problem. Look at this. Jody Lynn gave me $49.99. You know we always have your back. Hey, what do you think? Do you think it's a mistake if I turn on the memberships? What do you think? That's a lot of money.
Starting point is 01:13:20 To be honest, I never thought of it the way that you thought of it, of what if I turn it on and people that just regularly donate, they might watch a show and donate like $3 every time, and you do like, whatever, 30 shows in a month. Oh, please, please, 40 shows in a month. How dare you, 40, 40 shows. They see 30 shows in a month. But if they donate every time versus,
Starting point is 01:13:47 oh, now I'm a member, I won't donate. I kind of think with your community, the people that watch, people that donate, that that wouldn't actually be an issue. I think. I think people donate to your show when they're watching it and see something that they like or have a question that they want to ask or whatever.
Starting point is 01:14:02 And I don't think that being a member would deter people i think like i made emojis for today and as i was making them i was like people are going to use these over and over again because they're funny and then that would encourage other people to be like oh i want to be able to use that oh and do it and i think you have more scope to do so but i'm not gonna make emojis dude but dude i'm not gonna make emojis i mean no but you have all those people that have your back. All those people that have your back. You tell me Wadzombie or Will or... Oh, you think...
Starting point is 01:14:32 I could get maybe Wadzombie to make them. Dude got a full-time job, a wife, two kids. I have a full-time job, a wife, and two kids, and I made them myself. Yeah. But it's for you. What am I going to do? Tell Wadzami to make them for me?
Starting point is 01:14:48 Wadzami, don't take your kid to soccer this week. Hey, Wadzami, would you mind making these, and I'll continue to promote your cards on the show consistently. I don't think you'd have an issue with it at all. He'd be happy to be involved. Well, I'm speaking for him, but... Look it, I just made another $1.99 off of Jan Clark. Jan's definitely not doing a membership and coughing up loot.
Starting point is 01:15:10 That's fair. Oh, Wad Zombie says soccer is over. Listen, here's the thing. I was going to use the metaphor. People don't, people don't, like every, like you eat the pussy and then you fuck it. So maybe people will do both. Maybe people will get a membership and donate money But if you do it the other way the metaphor doesn't work. No one fucks the pussy and then eats it
Starting point is 01:15:33 No, and so now the metaphor is all messed up and you kind I know it's crass I apologize But but but you understand but it's potent. It's a it's a point poignant and potent a metaphor. The sequencing is very important. Sorry, one of my kids is trying to bite my other kid. Oh, look. I'm a dog. I'm glad I don't have this on speaker. Oh, please don't have it on speaker. Well, look at Sir Trolls a lot.
Starting point is 01:15:57 I do that sometimes. Wow, that's awesome. Oh, there you go. Different horses for different courses. Oh, Dan Guerrero, poor Haley. Son of a bitch. I think the most money I've ever made in the show was hitter last week. Oh, how'd that? Yeah. It's a good show. Is that show more popular than my show I did with you? Yeah. Oh, fuck me. Are you serious?
Starting point is 01:16:24 It passed by today. The only possible answer to that is for you serious? It passed by today. It passed by today? The only possible answer to that is for you to come back on in January. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to come back on just to try to beat his show. Let me see. Let me see what's going on on your YouTube station. He's on like 4.5, and you're on 4.3 or something.
Starting point is 01:16:40 Let me see. I think he wants to pass Madeira. That's his main thing, I think. Okay. I think I'm happy for wants to pass Madeira. That's his main thing, I think. I'm happy for him to do. Popular. So, proven.
Starting point is 01:16:52 Shane and Nick Johnson are the winners. Then, Justin Medeiros and Ellie. I really like Ellie. She's so fucking... Do you think Ellie's really mature? Yeah, she's very witty as well. It's very funny. Yeah, I think she's very mature. She's wife mature.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Like, she'd pay the bills and shit. Then there's Hiller. 4.6. Oh, my God. I'm at 4.2. Ugh. Do you know what's actually very funny? And it's indicative, I I think of how much I
Starting point is 01:17:26 owe to you is so the Nick and Shane one largely because you talked about it so much on the show the Justin would probably stand alone I guess Hiller like I know him because of you really your one is there I think next
Starting point is 01:17:42 is JR is it Vellner and JR fuckingner and J.R. are fucking neck and neck. Yeah, and J.R. is because... You know, it's funny how much I owe to... I'm not going to pay $49.99, but... I'd set up a membership. No, please. Save your money to buy more bread for your family.
Starting point is 01:18:05 People usually donate to bring attention to a message. I think a lot of people will do both. But what about what Bernie said? Here's the risk. The Sevan podcast feels like a real community. Subscriptions make it feel like a business relationship. I agree. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:24 I know that with the membership, you can set it that it highlights comments, or you can set it that it highlights comments or you can set it that it doesn't highlight comments um but the comments still stand out so like when cave comments on a show on mine his looks different from all the others because of the emoji at the start like a little badge that goes you know like it kind of comes up before your name yeah but his his shows up um so i can like it catches your eye more but it doesn't highlight it the same way where it's you know a luminous orange or whatever um but i think you can actually change that setting that it does i was kind of just fucking around with it today at work uh on my break obviously um and a few little things I was looking at was like,
Starting point is 01:19:06 oh, I might change that or I might do that. But I do empathize with Bernie's view where you're kind of, I was reluctant to settle up because I was like, is this stupid?
Starting point is 01:19:14 Like, is it bad form? But then I think once you have a return on the investment, so once it's like, okay, you can do this, but if you sign up in the base membership package,
Starting point is 01:19:24 you get 10% off Vindicator, Paper Street, or whatever as well. Oh, okay, you can do this, but if you sign up in the base membership package, you get 10% off Vindicator, Paper Street, or whatever. Oh, God, yeah, that, Susan would have to do all that. I can't do any of that shit. Like, I have it set that if you're, like, nobody is going to sign up for the top tier online, that's called Spader Space, but if they did,
Starting point is 01:19:40 anytime I release clothes, they'll get a free t-shirt, or a free whatever, just as a thank you for being consistent so that's cool um so i was trying to think i was trying to think of other ways and i think you'd have more scope to do that because you have things like behind the scenes that you have things like well you know i will tell you this so i will tell you this uh that's a really good point but before we go that i want to say that janelle winston i see both sides i hate subscription base because it's a money grab,
Starting point is 01:20:06 but I like you and give money. Here's the thing. Just so you know, it wouldn't be to, um, it wouldn't be to watch the show. The show will always be free except. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:17 Except. And I'll tell you what show will not be free here in one second. Uh, not a taxi. Jeremy, when you eat the pussy, there's a little P under the hood. That's not true. And I, and I don't care if it is true that's not true hey i want to ask you this question real quick
Starting point is 01:20:31 before i talk about money money more what is this show that you have if i go to your home page i go to videos no i go to um home oh it's gone oh what is this show upcoming live streams um around the whiteboard what is this tomorrow so do you remember that espn show around the horn and it was like the presenter with four football or hockey analysts or whatever you get like their clock and you get like certain amount of seconds to answer yeah okay so each person will have 60 seconds to answer? Yeah. Okay. So each person will have 60 seconds to answer. You know, maybe it's similar
Starting point is 01:21:07 to another show that exists in space, but anyway, you get 60 seconds to answer on a topic, to give your
Starting point is 01:21:12 opinion on a topic, and there's no right or wrong answer to the topic, it's just like debating it.
Starting point is 01:21:18 So you could ask like, I won't ask it tomorrow because he's on there obviously, but I could ask like,
Starting point is 01:21:23 does Hitler have a place of value in the custody system? Could be a hypothetical debate point. Is Andrew Hiller toxic? You let someone talk for 60 seconds and the next person for 60 seconds, the next person for 60 seconds.
Starting point is 01:21:36 Then you go back to the start and each person has a 20-second rebuttal. So they can say, the first person can criticize the last person's point. But if they just say like, oh, that's stupid. They don't get anything. But if they say, that doesn't make sense because of this fact, this fact, and this fact.
Starting point is 01:21:52 Or like, I can prove you're lying because of this fact. Then they would earn a point. And then you start again. You have a second topic. So one of the topics is going to be CrossFit sport-based. One of the topics is going to be CrossFit affiliates or methodology-based. And then the topics is going to be CrossFit affiliates or methodology-based. And then the last topic will be like a currently
Starting point is 01:22:07 trending topic. So it could be either or, depending on what hot topic. Cave Dastro, right? It's Death By on the Lone Ranger and Tonto, but better. So it's Death By, but better. Oh, fine. Fuck you, then. Kevin M. Oh Fine fuck you Okay, Kevin M hire a consulting firm to do a survey about how much people would pay for a membership. I
Starting point is 01:22:35 Like that done done God my road caster sucks. It just hung up on Pedro. Hey. He's giving me too many details about the fucking show. Yeah. I didn't interrupt you. You were giving me too many details about the show. I didn't hang up on you, though. I don't know why it hung up, but you were falling into the weeds. Is the girl going to be wearing something low-cut?
Starting point is 01:22:59 Is she going to be wearing something low-cut? I have no control over wardrobe choices. Hopefully, it'll be shirtless, but that's all they can ask me. Okay, that's fine. That's good. Yeah, it's dead by a bit better. That's my aim. I really like the format, but I think it could be done better. No disrespect.
Starting point is 01:23:14 I hope that I can do a bit better. Are you going to have a horn sound? I'm going to try and have... If you talk for more than 60 seconds you get muted and if you say something you know if you interrupt and it's a valid interruption
Starting point is 01:23:30 like Chase's last week with the morning talk when he arrived of course I mean that's just funny so I wouldn't interrupt that but if someone else said something that wasn't useful I just mute them
Starting point is 01:23:39 and they get muted then for the rest of the time and then there will be like a a buzzer sound when 60 seconds are up and I'm going to try... I don't have a Rodecaster. I have like this
Starting point is 01:23:49 kind of shit version of it. So I would need to check. I'm pretty sure I can upload sounds. So I want to upload like a ding if someone earns a point. Hang on. Guys, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Starting point is 01:24:01 Hey, have him go get the pot of gold under the rainbow, Pedro. I need to... I need to upload the sound so this is a ding if someone gets a point. I'm not going to remove points from anyone, but if someone detracts from someone else's points, they will get a point. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:24:24 But no one's going to get a negative point. When you, let's, okay, okay, okay, fuck, I'm sorry I talked about your show.
Starting point is 01:24:30 Pedro, when you sing, does your accent go away? No, I don't think so. It does, just so you know. Unless I'm doing an impression of someone singing.
Starting point is 01:24:43 Adam Blakeslee wanted to know, hey, David Weed said, the watermelons on that girl are insane what are watermelons uh breasticles really watermelon that's a horrible fruit for titties are her tits that big what's the girl's name aaron smith do you know her she did her? She did the team she did the team sideline reporting and I think the age groups as well
Starting point is 01:25:11 at the games. Oh, she's hot. And she does like yeah, she does what the fuck High Rocks. She does loads of stuff for High Rocks.
Starting point is 01:25:22 I think she's actually in America this week doing a High Rocks thing in Dallas. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe of stuff for High Rocks. I think she's actually in America this week doing a High Rocks thing in Dallas. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe he was talking about her boobs. She owns an affiliate in Wales, I think.
Starting point is 01:25:34 In the UK, anyway. Be respectful, Sebi. She owns an affiliate. Irrespectful. Ma, wrong. Jesus. Yeah, so my hope is every week I'm going to have... Does she have a boyfriend?
Starting point is 01:25:46 I think she got married like a month ago all right oh yeah yeah yeah here's her dude she got look at she got a buff dude with the the blockhead she got she got a deal i think he owns the affiliate he only said it with her i think they don't like to own it together He owns a affiliate with her, I think. They don't like to own it together. Yeah, here, look at you. That's cool. All good.
Starting point is 01:26:09 Yeah. That's the crack. That's the crack with that. Oh, yeah, shit. And then for the next month, including those shows, there'll be a prize given away to someone in the live chat for the show for next week or whatever.
Starting point is 01:26:23 A prize? You're giving away prizes? So whoever wins the debate tomorrow will pick someone from the live chat to win the first prize, which is a year's membership of GoWatt. And then next time it'll be a year's membership
Starting point is 01:26:38 of SMTP. And then next time it'll be Woopix, like sponsors from the show of all donated prizes. So for the next month, the guest or the winner of the debate will be picking someone in the comments to win a prize god you you too many you give too many details i think with not enough swear words and nudity i'm critiquing you there'll be a problem how about this what if you what if you were to say there'll be a prize it won't be dumbass noble shit
Starting point is 01:27:06 but it also won't be that vibrator thing that sucks you off that Seve showed up in the beginning of the show yeah no flashlight did you see the
Starting point is 01:27:14 automatic flashlight with two handles no I heard you started to talk about that and then realized where the conversation was going and turned it off
Starting point is 01:27:22 because my kids weren't there oh okay I'm sorry I apologize no apologies not necessary And then realized where the conversation was going. I turned it off because my kids were there. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I apologize. No apologies necessary. My kids asked me yesterday, one of my sons says, hey, what happens if you're scrotum?
Starting point is 01:27:39 First he said, hey, do you have two balls? And he was in the shower and I was just sitting there like we have an open bathroom and I was sitting there and I'm just watching him bathe himself, shower himself. And he goes, hey, so we have two balls. I'm like, yeah, you have one scrotum, that thing dangling beneath your penis is your scrotum and inside there are two balls. He goes, what if it breaks open? I go, that'd be bad. He goes, why? What's in there?
Starting point is 01:27:59 I go, those are you need those seed. There's seeds in there and you need those to make kids. He goes, I thought the woman made the kids. I'm like, she does. She has the egg. You got it. You have to make kids he goes i thought the woman made the kids i'm like she does she has the egg you gotta you have the seeds he goes how the fuck do those get into her how do those two come together and and before i could answer he goes through kissing i go yeah kinda and he goes is it like putting legos together i go yeah it's like putting legos together i just said yeah ask your mom It's like putting Legos together. I just said, yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:26 Ask your mom. It's like putting Legos together. Arby, you ever feel like someone knows information but intentionally acts confused to see where it goes? Dude, that's always. I don't act confused. I don't know if I like that. That's one of your interviewing techniques. Yeah, because 80% of the time I get an answer I didn't act confused I don't know if I like that That's one of your interviewing techniques Yeah because 80% of the time I get an answer I didn't expect
Starting point is 01:28:48 That's what's so cool about being around me That's why I'm so fucking cool Now you know Okay I need to go make dinner Okay congratulations on the new show Thanks for Thanks for answering your phone That probably cost you $18
Starting point is 01:29:02 And thanks for bringing clarity about the memberships. Yeah. Okay. Bye. Bye. Love you too. Bye. Thanks for inviting me on your first show.
Starting point is 01:29:14 You dickhead. Okay. So I have three minutes to tell you. So basically the behind the scenes are like nearly done Like they're basically done And they're just putting some together some montages In there and it looks like it's going to be 14 episodes And I want to make
Starting point is 01:29:33 Like a shitload of money Off of it but you're not allowed to monetize Content you shoot at the games So I have some ideas that I've proposed and I'm working on and the reason why I want to make a shitload've proposed and I'm working on. And the reason why I want to make a shitload of money is I'm not paying the editors jack dick. And I didn't make dick. Well, I made a ton of money at the games, but through sponsors.
Starting point is 01:29:53 But I'd like to make some money. And the team is fucking amazing. And they deserve some money, right? Patrick Rios, some people I can't say their name yet. Mariah, uh, Caleb, uh, uh, Susa, trying to think of us as on the team,
Starting point is 01:30:08 uh, just people who helped me there, uh, Hiller. Um, uh, I didn't even really know that Hiller helped me. I thought he stopped helping me.
Starting point is 01:30:16 And then the other day I was looking in the thread and they were using some of Hiller's B roll, which was kind of cool of athletes doing stuff. Um, and then they said his shit was fantastic. Um, uh, Bella, Bella, Bella Rios. And anyway, no, not Amazon Prime, but I was thinking I would,
Starting point is 01:30:32 that would be the main reason I would make a membership. I would put it behind a paywall for a month so that anyone who wants to contribute, and if we could raise, I don't know, $30,000 or $50,000, that would also pay for next year's behind the scenes right like those seven or eight people that went out there in their hotels everyone paid for their own shit it sure would be nice to pay for their own for
Starting point is 01:30:54 their stuff for next year right so so you charge uh ten dollars or fifteen dollars for a membership and people sign up for a couple months and you get the access to the behind the scenes a month early and the only reason why you do that is like some people don't give a shit they're like yeah i'll wait until it's free and i don't blame you for that either i ain't hating but if you just want to be like yeah that's cool that they did that and i want to contribute to these people going out there doing that you can do that but and then every after every premiere of every episode whether they're free or not, um, which they eventually would be free, of course,
Starting point is 01:31:27 but, um, I'm going to do a show, uh, where you can, we can just talk about the episode. So I'll do the plan right now is to do, uh,
Starting point is 01:31:37 premieres, uh, twice a week, seven weeks leading into the open. So like a Monday and Friday. And then after the show, I'll watch the premieres too. And then after the premieres, I'll monday and friday and then after the show pre i'll watch the premieres too and then after the premieres i'll come on live and we can talk about the show we can talk shit about it people can call in and it'll be wild i think it'll be wild
Starting point is 01:31:54 i think it'll generate a shitload of buzz and then i want to run some commercials for the open during that too that's kind of like my carrot i'm trying to propose to cross it like hey this is gonna be the biggest thing in the space we'll take over all the fucking we'll take all the air out of the room for seven weeks leading up to the open and we'll run open commercials leading up to the open and if they let me do it maybe i'll even sign up for the open god that sounds stressful no uh um how important and intentional is the timing of the release of the behind the scenes so being that i i i know that you guys think the ceo thing is a joke or the media director thing
Starting point is 01:32:35 is a joke but i am stuck in a certain mindset and i do think that i know better than fucking 99 people working there and i do think that it's best for the games and for the season to release this the seven weeks prior to the open. So if we can leave, you know, so if the open starts on a Thursday, we would release the last show on a Wednesday. And basically what we'll do is we'll just build up tons of hype for the games
Starting point is 01:32:59 and get people really in a frenzy. And then the open starts and we go right into the season. So I like, I've always liked waiting. Dave always wants it released quickly i don't think so i don't think it loses any of its luster i think by the time it's like basically like you got separated from your girlfriend for three months and you come together and just you immediately coil like snakes and put it in her and maybe you even do some shit you normally wouldn't do to her because you're just so excited to see her. It's like that. And so, yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:32 It's not that important and it's not that intentional. And yet it's completely important and very intentional. But I'm like getting. It's just who I am. Just what I'm doing. But CrossFit's not like supporting it in any way. They're not like, well, fantastic idea. Thank you, so on for.
Starting point is 01:33:49 I mean, every day someone tells me they got an L1 because of this show. And it's not like CrossFit's never like been like, well, thank you. Never. Nothing. I don't want them to or need them to either. I'm saying that in relationship of whether you're saying it's intentional. Wow, dude. Wow. Yeah. Wow. wow dude wow yeah wow marron okay so david was right all right so be it that's why it's good
Starting point is 01:34:17 to watch the show the show is being heavily throttled right now we're having our biggest live shows ever and yet our fewest views ever, which is like pretty indicative. And there's something called impressions. And impressions is how much YouTube is pushing your show out to other people's homepages. And we're at an all-time low. So anyway, I appreciate all you guys finding me every morning, finding us. Human body is fascinating I know they could at least let you crack 25k what are we yeah and we we just I've been seeing you guys say that for a while now is this is it are we just not putting on uh subscribers let me see
Starting point is 01:35:03 I'm going to the analytics page Are we just not putting on subscribers? Let me see. I'm going to the analytics page. Yeah, everything's at an all-time. Oh, so we're still putting on subscribers, but just really slow. 11, 1, 4, 0, 2, 1, 3, 7, 4. Hey, don't, don't. It's all good. It's perfect. Yeah, impression's crazy.
Starting point is 01:35:36 I wonder what I did that makes them, that's making them throttle it. So what I'm doing, by the way, is, no, every year is my year, but thank you. What I'm doing is is i think you're right though mason i i feel you what i'm doing now yesterday i put up i i saw we're getting kind of throttled back so i um i put out a couple i yesterday i spent about an hour making other videos sub clips so hopefully the sub clips will generate more attention to the channel and kind of fuck with the algorithm a little bit
Starting point is 01:36:11 I put up a short and two sub clips yesterday from Josh I don't know what the subscribers on Apple and Spotify are but we get a significant we have significantly more listeners through that platform which is just fucking crazy to me because I just think the YouTube show is so fucking great. Did anyone notice yesterday's shows were different today?
Starting point is 01:36:32 I was acting different. I had a really tough day on the 26th. I had a what's that called when you have a mental health? I had a mental health day. No, I was angry, man, on the 26th. I was, like, pissed. I was pissed. And then I woke up yesterday morning, and I was fucking like, oh, shut it, Dan.
Starting point is 01:36:55 And then I woke up yesterday, and I was in the fucking best mood ever. Like, while I was asleep, I processed that the the anger nah not no i just drama uh i'm not gonna get into specifics but just at a situation nothing nothing relevant nothing like serious happened like my kids are healthy my wife's dope like i didn't get in a car accident my fucking um my uh no venereal disease no no yeah it's just sandy vagina shit totally no peptide rage i was just i just there was some drama in my life yeah there you go jetted i at 26 you definitely seem more quiet and then yesterday when josh came on i was like i realized it when i saw josh i was like oh i'm better but i normally don't go into a funk ever but i wasn't i was
Starting point is 01:37:52 pissed i was really fucking irritated irritated like um like i'll tell you what it would be equivalent to imagine you take your family on a family vacation somewhere like this is completely made up there's no truth to this let's say you take your family to Los Angeles and you rented a hotel room for four days and you were going to go to Disneyland every day and then you get there and you found out that 50% of the rides they were
Starting point is 01:38:17 were in repair it was like that it's like not a big deal at all you're just pissed like what the fuck it's like it's like not a big deal at all. You're just pissed like what the fuck it's like that Yeah, it was just drama you guys would love to hear about it by the way you guys would love to hear about it No, I haven't uh, he hasn't even gotten the ipad. I sent him He hasn't even gotten the fucking ipad. I sent him
Starting point is 01:38:41 I'm waiting for it to be fucking Apple to return it. It get reimbursed in my account and then I'm buy it, fuck him for it again and send it to the, um, to his NFL place. Oh, please. Bailey Walker was because Tyson won't come on here anymore.
Starting point is 01:38:58 And he stopped mentioning CrossFit in his interviews. It's worse that he won't come on here. He texted me and told me to fuck off and never call him again. No, come on guys. I don me and told me to fuck off and never call him again. No. Come on, guys. I don't give a fuck about that stuff. If he never came on again, it would be great. If he comes on again, it'll be even greater. There's no pressure like that.
Starting point is 01:39:17 The only pressure I put on anyone in a relationship is with my wife. That's it. No one else has to be under any pressure ever with me. Oh, that's a good idea. Oh, dude, that's a fucking great idea. Kyle, that is brilliant.
Starting point is 01:39:42 That's actually a great idea. Thank you. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. Taxidermy? Mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm. that is funny we better talk uh we just got offered a new sponsorship but I don't think it's a good fit man. That's too bad. That's a lot of money And hey, I would take anyone as a sponsor so you can only imagine how weird this one must be Like I would take fucking that dildo machine. I'd take philip morris. I'd love camel What those were the cigarettes without a filter?
Starting point is 01:41:21 Oh trojan dude, i'd fucking wear pull a trojan over my head those are awesome i'm a fucking i'm a magnum man myself noble get no it's yeah you're close you're close you're like you're getting close Yeah, I don't know if I would do Zen. It's... I would do Bud Light. I would do BLM. I'd do Fleshlight. I'd do anything faith-based.
Starting point is 01:41:54 I'd do Muslim shit. I'd love to do Rad. I'd do Pfizer. I'd do any of those. I'd do Jehovah Witness. I mean, I'd still. I do any of those. I do Jehovah witness. I mean, I'd still tell the truth about them. This one's just weird.
Starting point is 01:42:11 It's like, Hey, it's like more like noble. Like, Hey man, I've really just gone off. Like, I don't know if I could do noble or Zen.
Starting point is 01:42:20 I really don't like noble and I really like Zen. So it's for completely fucking different reasons. I do coke in a second. Fucking chug a giant diet coke right in front of you guys. For $8. Dude. Please someone weigh in here. I'm telling you.
Starting point is 01:42:41 Yesterday I was on fire, Dan. How was the Castro Weekend Review worth watching? Let me just show you this. God damn. I don't mean to, like, I don't know. Do I talk about how great I am very often? Because that show was fucking the shit. Here it is. Watch this. Watch this, Dan. This is for you. This is watch this watch this dan this is for you this is this is this show i was fucking out of my mind during this show
Starting point is 01:43:12 dave dave should fucking crossfit should pay me to be their fucking pr team i fucking rule okay here we go listen listen to this shit listen to this shit here we go it's just a little clip from well it's on the back of your hamstrings dude dude i would dude i was fucking in africa in the fucking middle of nowhere nowhere dude on this fucking dirt road and it was fucking pitch dark and all we had was fucking light like from from the car's headlights And we're going really slow And all of a sudden in the middle
Starting point is 01:43:50 The car stops and right in the middle of the road The giant puff at her Probably like four and a half feet long Thicker than my cock dude like this Dude fucking comes out With a fucking loincloth and what did you call that thing A switch A switch
Starting point is 01:44:04 Just out of nowhere out of from the side comes out with a fucking loincloth. And what did you call that thing? A switch. A switch. Just out of nowhere, out from the side. Loincloth and a switch. And he fucking hits it once and just splits it right open, right in front of our car headlights. Oh! Damn, dude. The driver's not out.
Starting point is 01:44:20 I'm like, can I get out? He's like, no, you cannot get out. No, you cannot. Holy shit. That's funny. Thicker than my cock. So is a baby snake. Nuance, empathy, and intuitive training. Gems.
Starting point is 01:44:37 Or affiliates. I'm going to open up a gym and call it CrossFit Empathy. If you don't want to work out, you don't have to. And I'll feel for you. And I'll feel for you. And I'll feel for you. This is CrossFit Equity. You do 20 burpees, I'll do 180, and I'll give you 80.
Starting point is 01:44:57 God damn, I'm good. What do you think, Dan? Thank you. Thank you. I was trying to get to the CrossFit equity CrossFit empathy part as gym names Damn No, what was the
Starting point is 01:45:14 The driver's name He stayed I know him I'd been to that part of Kenya like four or five times I always hooked up with that dude I always hired him What was his name? He ended up stealing from us, which sucked because I really like him.
Starting point is 01:45:29 I really, really, really liked him. I still like him, even though he stole from us. What was his name? Not Mustafa. What was his name? was his name you think if i type africa into my phone it'll pop up that dude's um uh name and number africa what was his name greg will be on tomorrow greg might remember the guy's Fuck Not Mufasa Not Simba Not Armand Hammer
Starting point is 01:46:08 Fuck what was the guy's name Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck What the fuck was that guy's name Hey We got another minute of Cindy here. Let me call you. Okay, what was the Africa driver's name in Africa? Salim.
Starting point is 01:46:33 Oh, yeah. Salim Maruthi. Thank you. Thank you. Love you. Bye. Look at Greg's doing fucking Cindy. Did you hear that?
Starting point is 01:46:38 I just called Greg and he goes, got another minute of Cindy left. So any of you motherfuckers who would say any of your dumb shit. That was just live, impromptu Greg Glassman. So eat a fucking dick. You don't even know how dumb some of you fucktards are. Anyway, his name was Salum Maruthi.
Starting point is 01:47:00 Salum Maruthi. Yeah, he was cool as shit. It sucked. I think he stole from Greg Like a lot of money Greg didn't even like it Who's Cindy You know who Cindy is Cindy's your daddy bitch
Starting point is 01:47:11 Thank you Chris Alright Hey love you guys I had a blast today Told you guys a lot You guys told me a lot Miss Jody Lynn Thanks for the money
Starting point is 01:47:23 You're a fucking queen Thank you My wife doesn't like me telling you what i'm gonna do the rest of my day but i'm gonna tell you anyway i'm going to um go inside play with the kids a little bit then i'm gonna load up the car uh they got skateboarding from they just they're they're finishing i can hear them playing the piano right now they finished their school already they finished their piano uh with mom, take them over to the skate park. They got two hours of skating there with the skate coach. I'll then race them across town.
Starting point is 01:47:50 I'll probably buy them something. They probably shouldn't eat. I'll probably take them to a deli or something. I get them a glass of whole milk and a chocolate chip cookie. And then they'll play. They have a private tennis, tennis lesson for a couple hours. And then from there, they go to the Kumon studio where they do another hour of schooling.
Starting point is 01:48:11 And then from there, the kids will split up. One of them will go to jujitsu and the other two will then go back to tennis. And then they will come home where they will will do a private gymnastics uh lesson here at the house yeah yeah kumon studio it's like a you know there's i think there's 30 000 of them worldwide so just kumon studio and fucking inappropriately dressed high school girls, teacher, kids, math, and English. All right. Love you guys. See you.
Starting point is 01:48:53 Oh, I wonder if Vakey's coming on tonight. Is that tonight? What the fuck is going on with my life? Oh, no. Greg Glassman tomorrow. Vakey tomorrow night. And that's it Alright guys Love ya
Starting point is 01:49:10 Buh-bye

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