The Sevan Podcast - Josh Pirtle | Fluffy Duck #959
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event skip to the good bit using the card member entrance let's go seize the night that's the
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apply oh god i love i love how every time he comes on
he never uses his name so I just wanted to give him a shout out
when he comes on
bam we're live that's so funny when I first came on
I saw that you're just a tiny little
picture I'm like
we done effed up the scheduling
I have to switch my
speaker so I can fix my hair
for a minute
hey thanks for doing this.
Oh, thanks for having me, sir.
How often
are you publishing, Josh?
You know,
you kind of got me at an interesting time,
Savan, because I'm in this
weird limbo of
slowing down posting, trying to think
of more long-term
content. Right now, maybe twice think of more long-term content.
So right now, maybe twice a week, three times a week.
Wow.
Okay.
As opposed to what's in your heyday, how often are you posting?
I mean, there was a stretch probably like a six-month stretch
when I was doing two, three times a day.
Maybe more than that.
Maybe like a year.
And at that point, it's kind of you're just addicted right yeah that's what i like is just it was like in a good way yeah i mean
it was like 24 7 pretty much i was like all i could think about was creating content posting
content how can i make it better how can i figure out new ways to try to be humorous and so uh yeah it was like it turned into like a full-time
full-time thing i was just non-stop uh never yeah i was extremely flattered thanks sir
that's how i know I'm gay.
Hell yeah.
Thank you.
You have some of the best little random one-liners,
and I try to spread it out amongst all the people,
but man, it's hard to find hilarious soundbites,
but man, you just drop them like gold,
so there's a lot of... I got a lot of Savant drops.
I appreciate it.
Always, now that you have my text
always text them to me so I can remember to repost I never I never hit that heart button
on Instagram because I'm usually like every second I have I'm trying to respond to dms
yep or I'm or I'm making kid videos of my kids doing shit yeah dude your kids are kind of badass
dude on the skateboard thanks pretty badass man i'm i'm a i'm
a that not to the probably the extent that you you are or were with the memes but i'm pretty
addicted to like getting content of them like i yeah what happens is i go back and look at old
content and then anywhere there's gaps i'm like fuck i stop being lazy and just make because it's
so fun going back and looking right for sure oh yeah that's a good time on my like uh i guess you could say like my personal instagram it's pretty
much just uh it's just a shout out to all to my kids stuff i get i get all into like the
super instagrammy what is your personal instagram uh it's almost the same thing it's josh pert but
at the end is underscore oh okay okay but it's it's a private, so I don't know if like, yeah, so I don't really.
So don't expect if someone goes to follow it that you'll actually get to see it.
For sure.
Yeah.
Because like my wife doesn't like me putting anything out with our kiddos on it.
She's not, she's not, because I have ideas for like kid video, like, oh, that could be
funny to do.
Like, you know, I could cross that video with the kids, but my wife's not a fan of putting
our kiddos out there.
So hey, that's probably smart to be honest. I know i know it is i know it is i mean i've had friends straight just lecture me on it dave uh dave castor has lectured me on it
many times yeah yep yeah it's basically i mean it comes they say that there's it's funny because a
few years ago i'd have never believed it but basically hey dude there's perverts out there
jerking off to your kids oh dude for sure you know that's happening
god i don't stop stop okay this show's over thank you it's happening guaranteed somewhere somehow
you really think that um there's guys who pull up danny spiegel's instagram account and then
pull their dick out and box of kleenex and sit there and jerk off? Oh, a thousand percent, yes.
Like right now it's happening. Like right
now somewhere someone's being carjacked, right?
We can agree on that. Yeah, that's also for sure.
Okay, so somewhere on planet Earth.
It's raining somewhere. Someone's
being carjacked. Two people are having sex.
These are some things that
you could pretty much guarantee are happening somewhere
on the rock, right? Correct.
You're also suggesting that if there's 24 hours a day, once an hour,
someone masturbates to Danny Spiegel's Instagram account?
God, I'm going to lead more towards yes than no.
I'm thinking yes.
Look at this.
Look at this.
See?
Look at this.
See?
It's like, oh, man, for sure.
And probably like, it's not just danny spiegel probably like some con
porter out there wow some con porter spanking action going on for sure i don't mean it as a
dig to them it just at that point it almost seems um
this is going to come off totally wrong but it just seems like there's better shit out there.
Oh,
I mean,
I think so.
Like just even what,
how,
I don't even think like how Instagram is even your,
I don't see stuff that,
no,
that makes me want to,
yeah,
maybe I'm just,
but you know,
I think some people like,
like the,
uh,
you know,
like they don't want to,
they don't want to see all the goods at once.
I think some people like, just like, Oh, just a little bit of cleavage or a little bit of a butt crack, and that's like keep it like the – what's the word?
Like the secret out there.
I don't want to see everything.
So I think that's what people find sexy in the old Instagram stuff.
All right.
Kind of like the Emporium Capwell's underwear catalog that would come to your house
in 1977.
And you're a little kid and you can't
even fucking believe you're seeing women in their underwear.
Right. Oh, dude. Yep.
The Sears. I have to go back to the Sears catalog.
That was the moneymaker.
I wonder if there's
and then there's got to be all sorts of weird
people out there too. Like it's just a guy in overalls
eating corn and someone is masturbating to it i guarantee i guarantee there's some funky stuff man i guarantee
women don't do that though just dudes oh contraire dude really i don't know i think women do it for
sure they flick the bean to all kinds of stuff dude guarantee they just close their eyes and
flick the bean you're probably right you're probably right. You're probably right.
But I mean, I don't know.
I still think there's...
They put a warm...
They fucking boil some tea, light a candle, and flick the bean.
In a hot bath?
That's probably more accurate.
That's probably more accurate.
Let me see.
Yeah, look it.
See?
Look.
She thinks like sick fucks out there.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
100%.
But a cup of tea and the bean, some music.
I mean, that sounds pretty good.
I'm not going to lie.
It sounds pretty.
I'm down for some of that.
A cup of tea and the old spanked revision.
Wad zombie already.
Oh, I apologize.
There probably will be a lot of hostility towards you.
Oh, man.
We have our own meme guy
here and you're stepping into his turf uh josh wishes he were hunter mcintyre already throwing
rocks at him jesus i do well that's obviously great dude yeah he'll hop on some of my live
stuff and he's like he's funnier than me i'm like dude you can't come on my shit and like be funnier
than me that's not cool dude he's like it's good stuff yeah nick's nick's good dude uh romantic oh very romantic yeah heidi
krum seve's right i don't get that very often from her oh nice okay i mean you're probably more
accurate i don't think there's a lot of like i mean there's a reason why i think the uh the
females do better on the only fans as opposed to the as opposed to the fellas and vice versa
or also with like the you know know, like the feet picks,
it's kind of more of like a female industry because dudes are already dudes
already pervs.
Uh,
Jed and I,
it's Nelson false.
I've on,
you know how many women reach out to me and DMS with wheelchair fetishes.
Well,
there are,
there,
there are a couple accounts I follow of like women,
like,
like hot chicks who like are missing arms or missing legs.
And I only follow them.
I don't follow any of the straight – there's only one straight up – I don't know what you call it.
There's only one girl I follow because she's a friend of mine who posts just straight thirst pics.
You know what I mean?
Like those accounts you go to. And it's like every chick's ever like those people send me those
and i end up at them sometimes but i don't follow any of them but like i've i've come to be like
okay i'll follow the one with the chick with no arms i support that but i'm still like yeah i
would fucking tear that up and i'm so curious like what like she has no like she's missing a leg like
you just can come at the pussy from some weird
side angle like you get super creative crazy super creative yeah i uh yeah when there's too
many thirst pics you know guy or girl i gotta i gotta i gotta unfollow because you're not really
it's not really benefiting my day too much like there's always so much
always so much ass crack i can see from one person. It's like those stores that you go.
They're candy stores.
They have one here in Capitola by the beach, and it's just bins of candy.
Yeah.
I never would go in there.
Yeah.
It's too much.
Yeah, there's nothing in there that I don't want to shove in my face.
Right.
But I'm not going in there.
Not even for a second.
I'm not.
Yeah. Yeah. in my face right but i'm not going in there i'm not even for like a second i'm not uh-huh yeah yeah i will admit though like you don't know if i'm scrolling and like one of those things just
get like shown to you randomly i i may click on it from time to time i just can't it's like
almost like a reaction like a yes i gotta check it yeah it's weird yeah and some you know it's
even funny sometimes i don't know if you ever use that little icon where you can like tell
instagram or like tiktok i don't want to i don't want to see this anymore like i'm not interested oh no i haven't oh yeah you can do i think if you
hold it down like hold your finger on the image i can't remember but something like that but you
can tell them don't show me anymore like they they don't show you it for about an hour then
all of a sudden it's like back it comes back yeah yeah for sure well look at mine so i just click
mine and mine is you what's crazy is mine mine's usually 50% like hot chicks and 50% hot dudes.
Yeah.
But now there's only one on my,
there's only one piece of beaver lifting something heavy,
but you know,
I started clicking on like these Indian spiritual guys lately.
Oh,
okay.
And so they're kind of like filling up my feed.
Oh dude.
Yeah.
I wonder if it's like because
i i've been getting the guy that's sitting in the in the middle with like the little uh dishes where
he's like going around in circles that guy's like popping up all the time oh yeah yeah yeah with the
coin the ball the ball rolling so i just clicked this one it says spirituality is not a child's
play my sentences will tear to pieces the doubts of anyone who listens to them
and like that for some reason they thought i needed to hear that will tear to pieces the doubts of anyone who listens to them. Nisargadatta Maharaj.
For some reason, they thought I needed to hear that.
Are you a spiritual guy?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Are you a –
Like very.
Do you believe in God?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's go here.
Let's go here.
No.
Ooh, okay.
I don't believe in God. okay no yeah it's a it's a it's a hard
thing to fathom i used to be a big time like well i think it's the opposite i think it's a i think
it's an easy thing to fathom i think it's a hard thing to know it's easy to believe it's hard to know okay yep right yeah yeah last night even in the middle of
the night i woke up and i was and i was and i was um uh pondering my own death my dog's dying and
he's in bed with me oh ah yeah he's a little like 14 pound dog and i can tell he's dying like he's
like close yeah maybe i shouldn't have brought that up. I felt my tear ducts turning on.
Okay.
Well, in an ironic way,
I just got a new puppy two days ago.
Oh, rub it in my face.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
So I'm upgrading.
What did you get?
Did you get a Colt Mertens wiener dog?
Negative.
Negative.
We got a Labradoodle.
Labradoodle.
Oh, he's awesome, dude.
Yeah. Gosh, you're so sweet, dude. God, you got a Labradoodle. Awesome, dude. Yeah, gosh, they're so
sweet, dude. God, you trendy fuck.
So basic.
But they're great.
They are such a little sweet. It's like a little tiny
teddy bear just running around. It's all
hair right now. All fur. Dude,
Greg Glassman has one. I'm guessing it's probably
10 years old. And the last time I saw
I knew him when he got it, obviously. And it goes
everywhere with him. Oh, yeah. Like everywhere. saw i knew him when he got it obviously and it goes everywhere with him oh yeah like everywhere like 100 degrees outside he brings it in his car he don't care
like this fucking dog goes everywhere with him yeah yeah yeah easy dog easy oh yeah so i mean
like like i said we have like about two or three days and she's like pretty like she knows to go
outside already for like a little peepee and poo poo and she's not really chewing up on anything she's been great so far so far so good yeah good point
doesn't shed that's one of the big reasons why we got it we also have a uh we have like a nine
year old uh maltese shih tzu and he's he's awesome too he's a great pup oh sounds violent
that's a that's an aggressive dog right uh i mean mean, I don't know. Shih Tzu's got a little something, a little edge to it.
I got a five-year-old and a two-year-old,
and they F with that multi-Shih Tzu all the time.
And it has never nipped at them or attacked them or anything.
He just takes it all the time.
He just lets them mess with them all, pulls ears, pulls tail,
poke them.
He's pretty good.
So he'll get hyper.
He'll definitely get hyper.
If somebody comes over new, he's like, let me put on a show for you i'm running i'm running laps
around living room jumping off couches but yeah as far as like being aggressive like in a negative
way i hope that now i haven't experienced that yet with our pup is maltese a big dog it is right
oh no dude it's a little freaking shit it's like oh okay Oh, yeah. It's a little tiny sneaker. Oh, I'm not...
And the Shih Tzu's tiny, too.
What am I thinking of?
What's the one with the blue tongue?
It has a blue tongue or a purple tongue.
They're fighters.
Pitbull?
Someone will know
very soon.
Oh, what if I just type in blue tongue dog?
Okay, blue tongue.
I didn't even know that was a thing, a blue tongue dog.
Chow.
Cows.
I thought you had a chow.
Okay.
Chow.
Okay, Sebi.
Type in blue waffle.
Four dog reads with blue tongues.
Sharpay, Chow Chow, Eurasia, and Thai Ridgeback.
There's a dog called a Thai Ridgeback?
Jeez, that one sounds like a dinosaur.
Yeah.
I like a Ridgeback.
Yeah.
You think it's just a Ridgeback with slanted eyes?
Most likely, yes.
It is. Most likely.
Wait till you see this, dude.
It is.
If it is, I'm going to have to get one because that is awesome.
Look at it.
Oh, fuck.
That dog.
That dog.
Whoever named that dog is racist as F.
That's hilarious.
They just nailed it.
They understand the characteristic.
Dude, it's a hairless.
Wow.
That was hairless, too.
Damn.
It looks like an ass-beater dog.
That dog looks like it beats an ass
oh yeah it does uh barry mccalkin or look up blue waffle oh yeah it's a pretty interesting dog
uh no okay no weird no i've heard i've heard i would never what does blue waffle mean on tiktok
i'm afraid to click this i think this is a bad nothing to be afraid about uh blue oh here we'll go to the planned
parenthood website oh this is fucked up i can tell okay you ready blue waffle is totally
completely 100 urban legend it doesn't exist so anything you've heard about who has it
its symptoms or the way it's spread is made up.
I choose not to believe that.
The pictures are fake also.
Oh, come on.
It's a red or irritated vagina with an unusually or smelly discharge.
Jeez Louise Barry.
That is a tame way to put it.
Because if those pictures are fake, well that's a bummer.
Because that would pretty much ruin my childhood.
Like cement it in my brain what the actual picture was yeah yeah nick goes
it's not good if you haven't seen it you're probably better off not seeing it have you
seen the blue waffle have you seen pictures of it yeah it's uh how how did you see it i i'm on
the internet all the time i spend five hours a day on instagram how have you seen it and i haven't well i'm sick and twisted uh savon so it's like um are you sure you can't
just google it right now i did google it i'm not clicking images i just want to know how it popped
on your radar i always wonder how like how do these people know how do you know how does nick
know how does barry mccaugh know i spend a lot of time on the internet dude you know what i'm
looking at google images it's not even popping up anymore.
It used to be around the Google Images.
You know what?
Honestly, I feel like it was like 15 years ago when I first heard about it.
I think it's just a couple, this group of buddies are like,
hey, have you heard about this?
And we just Google it, and they're like, holy Moses.
And then it's on the internet, so it's real.
What happened here?
This has popped up.
This has been popping up quite a bit.
I ended up on this guy's Instagram account the other day,
and he was in bed with a neck brace.
Is this a homie of yours?
Yep.
He's one of our head coaches at our gym.
At your gym?
At our gym, yep.
Wow, what a small world.
Holy shit.
Great dude.
Just the best dude um yeah he was uh
him and a couple other guys from her gym they were mountain biking um i think on father's day
and he just hit a jump wrong or him you know going going down a hill wrong and went over the
handlebars boom head first um i know he had like he had a few, some of his spine on his neck.
And now I know he can feel his feet and his fingers,
but he can't really move them too well right now.
And so he lives here in Fresno,
but right now he's at the hospital in LA.
You live in Fresno?
I do live in Fresno.
Holy shit, that's incredible.
It's the place where dreams are made, Sivan.
Wow.
It's the place where dreams are made.
Were you born and raised there?
Pretty much, yeah.
Did you have sex with an Armenian girl?
Not yet.
Not yet.
How could you be born and raised in Fresno, and did you not have a lot of sex as a kid?
I didn't.
I did not have a lot of sex.
I know.
I was like a good kid.
I was a good kid.
Okay, sorry.
So back to this guy.
What's the name of his gym?
This is a good combo.
I want to talk about virginity and neck spine injuries.
So this guy is not paralyzed for life?
Like he's going to walk?
I think so.
Well, from the time this accident happened to right now he has he has been getting like slowly slowly
better and so i i don't think he's gonna be paralyzed for life but it seems like it's gonna
be a long a very long trip back to yeah back to being okay um and so uh yeah he's just in he's
just in the hospital right now in la kind of recovering they're trying to get him transferred
to fresno but um let'll see how that goes.
So he's just down there in L.A. still.
But, yeah, he is not doing too swell.
Let me play this here real quick.
Let me see if I can turn the volume up. Please do.
Thanks for playing it.
It's Monday.
I don't know the date, actually.
I should have probably figured that out beforehand.
So he's got a sense of humor.
Hilarious.
If you go through my
videos, he's been in quite a few
videos of mine. Yeah, he's hilarious.
But it's been a week
since my accident.
For those of you
guys who don't know,
I was mountain biking
at a bike park in Big Bear, California,
and I crashed, kind of went headfirst into a mountain, and had a significant...
Is he the owner of the gym?
No, he's not, but I would say him and this other guy joe
they they pretty much run the day-to-day they they're the they're definitely the lifeline of
the of the gym but yeah no he's not the owner does he have kids josh he does yep i believe
they're both like high school age-ish if not like junior high high school age. He has a son and a daughter. Holy shit.
Yeah, it's a
spinal cord injury.
Thankfully,
there was no breaks,
but
there was
significant
herniations
in my C3,
C4,
5,
5,
6,
and C7.
Oh, he's labored, right?
He's like giving it all right now.
He's going for fucking
the last nine reps on Fran.
Holy shit.
For sure.
Yeah.
And those were
protruding into my
spinal cord.
One, thank you guys for
all your thoughts and prayers.
Those mean more to me than
you guys should know.
I'm never going to quit
fighting this.
It's going to be a long process.
Is there anywhere people can support this dude with money?
Yeah, he's got a GoFundMe.
There's a link in my bio.
I'm almost positive there's a link in his bio.
But if you go to GoFundMe and you just type in our gym name,
Certus, C-E-R-T-U-S, it'll do it all.
Right here.
Got it.
Yep, there you go, boom.
Okay, I'll put a link to the,
oh shit, that's awesome too, it's working.
Nice.
Appreciate it, Savant.
Oh, dude.
What's interesting is it's crazy how tight the community is,
because this guy's been, guys, I put the link
in the chat,
and you know what I'll even do i can i can probably i'll leave this window open and when the show's over i'll put the link in the um and in the show notes nice horrible with that yeah
right on all right right on that's awesome it is a community we belong to, right? Oh, yeah. It's
super awesome having people just stick together.
Just totally support each other.
Yeah, it's amazing.
I will go visit him.
Where is he?
I'm bad at this.
I want to say he's in Yerba Linda somewhere.
The hospital there.
Ironically, I'm going down there tomorrow
to visit him, but i just haven't got
the haven't got the address of like where exactly is that i'm pretty sure he's in your belinda
pretty sure am i saying that right by the way you're belinda sounds right to me well that's
really cool of you that you're going down there to visit them yeah well i don't want to sound like
a complete saint because i'm doing a twofer because on sunday i'm going to disneyland so okay yeah you're taking your kids there yeah i take my take my uh five-year-old when's the last
time you've been there dude i go a lot dude uh like like a month ago two months ago yeah yeah
i go a lot what do you think about my theory that did you ever smoke cigarettes um when you smoke cigarettes you there's this thing you do where every you're so you wake up
in the morning and then you you plan your day around where you're gonna smoke i'm gonna go to
josh's house i'll smoke a cigarette on the way there oh then josh and i will go to a walk to a
coffee shop and talk about like some meme ideas and while we're when we get there i'll smoke a cigarette outside when he's like ordering coffees and you're kind of
like you're it's like you're excited because you're setting up all of these and then when i
leave your house i'm kind of excited to leave because i'm because i can't smoke in your house
because then i can go in my car and smoke right yeah so there's this um and i you hate thanksgiving
because then you're gonna have to
be at your house for fucking four hours without smoking but now i guess you could vape and no one
would know right yeah smell it so um i think of disneyland as a place where people and i mean
this with all seriousness it's a place where people go to eat it's it's a actually a safe place for obese people
to actually eat sugar that makes a lot of sense it seems so apparent to me the second i walk in
like oh shit this is uh it's like starbucks um they are not a coffee company they're actually
a milk company people think that they make most of their money from selling coffee they make most of their money from markup on milk interesting yeah what thoughts on disneyland yeah no it's
yeah there's a ton of junk there's a ton of junk to eat there i'm guilty of it i mean i'll crush
i'll easily crush three sometimes six churros i mean i love me some churros and yeah that's a
popular one there but usually it's people eating out of bowls that I see bowls of like
sugar,
you know,
and they have like a,
you know,
like Valentine's day or like Halloween's coming up,
like all their signature theme treats are all like a cookie or like a
ice cream or a,
you know,
some,
some type of sweet,
some type of dessert.
Anything.
It's very,
I mean,
every night occasionally they'll have like a sandwich or something,
but even then the sandwich doesn't seem like it's like a healthy sandwich
so yeah i mean to what you're saying for sure i wouldn't go there and expect that you're gonna
get healthy options there it's more than that josh i'm saying that like if they if they had a no
sugar day attendance would drop 90 percent oh okay so you're saying people go there specifically i'm saying literally
for like the rides yeah i'm saying literally people the rides are tired and old and boring
they're very clean um but i'm saying literally people so it's not it's it's this the common
scene there if you go to disneyland every time i guarantee you will see two huge fat lesbian moms with their daughter
riding in between their carts it's just like it's just also overweight probably who's also
overweight but can walk and she's like riding both electric carts at the same time like that's yeah
oh you're gonna see that facts yes yeah multiple times you're gonna see a dad with a fupa there eating cotton
candy with his daughter with blue hair like and you've never seen a fupa like that this is true
yeah like and so at some point i'm like oh this is a place to like cruises dude right oh yeah
cruises just a cesspool of people just eating non-stop open buffet right 24 7 open right so so i'm open to
being wrong but what do you think yeah so are you saying i'm exaggerating i like i don't think i'm
exaggerating but do you think i'm exaggerating all right well are you saying that like majority
people go there just for the food you're saying are you just saying there's a lot yes yes yes the
majority whether they know it or not not only only do they go there for the food, they're just straight sugar addicts,
and they're looking for a safe place to just gorge,
like a park that allows you to shoot heroin.
I'm open to you being against it, not for it.
I'm trying to think. I haven't really thought about it.
But I think you might be right because, yeah,
maybe it's even like subconsciously you're going there because I know I go there.
I'm excited for all the food.
That is like half, not even half, but that's a big part of the reason I'm excited to go because I love like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go to town on, like I said, churros and like whatever.
I love the popcorn.
I love the coffees there.
They're full of like sugar and the Star Wars coffee there is unreal, by the way.
So amazing.
Served to you by their new transgender character which is really they have a new that star wars has a
new transgender yeah damn it yeah sorry it's fun it's fun it's super fun what's its name
uh i don't know but i i i did a bit on the i did a bit on the guy who's playing the character.
Seems like a cool kid.
I think it was a girl.
I think it had its tits chopped off, which sucks because she's only 23.
And it's like there should be like – I just wish she would have just waited a little longer.
Because I did some stupid shit at 23.
Yeah, isn't it a crazy stance just believe that maybe at least minimum wait till you're 18 before you start doing some shit
like that it's crazy 25 even yeah well i mean yeah i'm on i'm on that side too but yeah but
just but just saying 18 makes you sound like you're a pos to a lot of people yeah like 25 for
um uh tattoos and and chopping off body parts i'd even
i'd even like even punching holes in your face even even earrings just push it to 25 it's okay
you're probably right chill it's you got a hole it's like i'm 51 i've never had anal it's like
maybe i'll try that when i'm 70 you're missing out bud i don't need to do everything that's true
that's true yeah i mean the laundry list of people who have made dumb ass decisions between
the ages of 18 and 25 is is an endless list it's an endless list and people who are like 29 17 clip
that people who are uh with the precipitous fall right josh there's got to be an age it's like
i never get pulled over by the cops anymore and i used to get pulled over fucking every day
dude my car my if i if i'm a cop and i saw my car when i was younger i'd pull my ass over too
i had like dumb stickers all over you know know, like tinted windows, low profile rim, all that dumb shit.
You can think of like underbound lights and shit.
It's like, you know, a dumb fuck's driving that car.
Like, you know, an asshole's driving the car.
Something's blocking your license plate that you just had to put on there.
You know.
I have had, you don't even understand how many tickets I've had.
Well, I've had 12 speeding tickets, but total, I've had like 25 tickets for like no license plate, weird lights, tinted windows, no seatbelt, like so many different things.
But to your point, I haven't had – knock on wood, Jesus God.
I haven't been pulled over and gotten a ticket probably for like 10 years, which is like – I think I'm due.
I feel like I'm due to get pulled over because I got so many – I've been pulled over so much as my youth where it's like it's weird that I haven't been pulled over now as a multer.
That's a good point.
You nailed it.
How many bad decisions have people made between 18 and 25?
It's like, hey, dude, you're just prone to that.
And what do I mean by bad?
Just shit later on that you're like, hey, maybe I shouldn't have done.
Like smoking.
I don't smoke, by the way.
Listen, I have a beautiful voice.
I have a fucking great sub-10-minute fran time.
I'm fucking a paragon of health now.
How about the cig of weed?
Do you need a cig of weed?
No, I don't do it.
I have a bag of weed in here.
I have actually a bunch of bags like this.
I do love me some marijuana.
Oh, yeah.
I don't.
No, I get all the weed.
But I don't do it very much.
I get weird.
I don't do it very much.
Only mainly because of what you're saying right there.
I don't want to like F up my physical fitness too much.
So I'll do it like on occasion.
But I'd rather smoke than drink.
Like I don't really drink very much either.
I'll go through.
I'll go through binges.
And by binges, I mean I'll go two weeks where I drink every single day.
Now I haven't had a drink in a week now.
But not just because – not for any reason.
Like if you came over and you were like, hey, let's go get drunk, I would do that.
Oh, sick. Okay.
But if you were like, hey, come over and let's smoke weed, I would not.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah. That's probably the only time I do that stuff too is like usually people are – but i but if you were like hey come over and let's smoke weed i would not oh interesting yeah
that's probably the only time i do that stuff too is like usually people are you know there's kind
of like a reason very rare i'm just like chilling one day i'm like or you know a given day i'm gonna
go smoke something i'm gonna go treat something you're just like some type of an occasion or
friends are over or something like that yeah yeah bad influences oh shit josh is here and i'm really
fucking i'm getting anxiety.
I'm just going to drink some.
I had Andrew Hiller at my house for a week and I never had that anxiety around him.
But he just hangs out in the room and edits.
He's in that phase where you have to post.
He's in that phase.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
He's just, yeah.
That guy puts out content like crazy.
Heidi Kroom.
Seve.
Obese people have made everywhere their safe place to eat sugar.
That's why they are obese.
God, she's so smart always.
She says the smart shit.
If you only ate junk at Disney once per year, you wouldn't be obese.
I know.
You'd be all buff like Josh, right?
I interviewed Julian Alvarez, and I was asking about because he goes
or he did when they lived down there he they did go to Disneyland a lot and so I was just picking
his brain about what he what he liked about it what he what he would do about it but he was like
super anti I don't let my kids eat anything at Disneyland we pack all our food we take it in
there we have healthy snacks he's all because he says like sugar and stuff gets his kids all worked up makes him act out makes him act out makes him restless you know makes him act like a
jackass my two like mine too yeah i feel like yeah i feel like sugar does that a lot so he's like we
don't now when he does go like he never never has any food inside the park and i'm like it's i mean
yeah you're doing the right thing julian but i like kind of i do think eating food there's kind
of is fun it is fun i guess it kind of goes back to what you're saying i took my kids there once
and i didn't let them get any sugar i bought the bags of mangoes that are so not ripe that
they're unedible that my kids probably hate me for that and i think that i let them get a
hamburger and french fries um and that's it ah but but but i but just be in it's for that same reason i don't want to
deal with their behaviors whereas like if he i would get my kid um like don't tell anyone this
but yesterday uh we were we did uh three hours of skateboarding and then we were coming home and he
was going to rest for like a couple hours and then he was going to go play tennis for two hours
and in there i got him a milkshake and then he was going to go play tennis for two hours.
And in there, I got him a milkshake.
And that's probably – I bought him probably less than 10 milkshakes in his life.
And his brothers weren't there.
Like if I – so I kind of could justify it like only one kid is getting it.
Smart.
Okay.
I got that. I don't know if it's smart, but I'm just telling you like my –
Well, I like your justification.
That's good.
Well, you're only abusing one kid.
That's good, dude. Yeah, thank you. That's nice.
Do they...
Do you... Like, how's
dinner for them? Well, actually, how old are your kiddos?
Six, six, and
eight. They eat the same shit every day.
They wake up every morning. They have eggs
basically. Eggs and cantaloupe.
Maybe a little oatmeal.
Maybe some bacon. and then at night
it's it's the same thing every it's like pork chops broccoli sweet potatoes or hamburger sweet
potatoes broccoli or a handful of kale or uh usually it's a sorry um not kale it's another
handful of arugula uh carrots and a hamburger hamburger patty. You know what I mean?
My wife just like – and if she's not home, if it's just me,
it's a – I just – we don't even use plates.
I just open a package of salami.
Okay.
Just dig in.
Cheese and crackers, like some Bree's,
some fancy cheese that smells like asshole and crackers.
They love eating with me. And then I'll usually do some fruit too, like cant brie, some fancy cheese that smells like asshole, and crackers. They love eating with me.
And then I'll usually do some fruit, too, like cantaloupe or watermelon or something.
You don't get any pushback?
Like, Dad, I want nuggets.
What do they do when they say that?
You just take one of those?
Yeah.
I'm not going to eat that.
Don't eat.
Like, fuck you.
I'll literally say that.
Don't eat.
Fuck you. Like that to my six. Don't eat. Fuck you.
Like,
like that to my six year old.
That's awesome.
I need to take a page out of your book.
We try.
I mean,
like I will give them like options,
right?
We'll give them tons of options.
Like I would say,
no options.
My wife tries options and no options.
I don't need options.
God.
Okay.
All right.
We're going to escape.
I don't want to escape.
You don't have to escape.
I didn't say anything about having to escape. I'm just telling you, we're going to skate park. I don't want to skate. You don't have to skate. I didn't say anything about having to skate.
I'm just telling you we're going to skate park.
They're like, oh, fuck.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, here, I'll bring a book you can read.
They're like, ugh.
You know?
Good job.
Yeah.
I think I need to take a parenting advice from Siobhan.
Because I guess I'm kind of a pushover.
Because I'll be like, here, you're going to eat this.
You're going to eat this.
And I'm like, I'm good for like an hour, right, of like battling.
And then it's like dad i want something all right
so i'll try to find like the healthy nuggies is there such a thing i feel like it's healthy
okay there's one that comes in a cardboard the box is recycled it's that from whole foods it
says organic canola oil on Dude, they got healthy everything.
They got healthy gummy bears.
It was good.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's vegan, so it's healthy, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
They're great about eating fruits and vegetables, but the protein source is what I have a hard time getting them.
Their protein is usually nuggies, chicken nuggies, or a burger.
But we try to give them like just
like you know plain grilled chicken nothing they're not eating that crap you try to get
like salmon nope oh my kids will destroy salmon i know it's so delicious well my kids are a little
a-hole i didn't eat salmon as a kid though i didn't eat fish as a kid
hey um uh josh since i'm just putting the dagger in you, I will take my kids to the fucking nicest burger place ever and buy them fucking $25 burgers.
And these fucking kids will just rip the fucking bun and everything off, and I'll look over, and they're eating it like fucking cavemen.
They're each holding the burger.
And if they eat their bun, they'll usually take it with them.
You know what I mean? They'll take the top or the bottom like hey can i eat this in the car and like half the time like if we're if it's late at night it's no but if it's like middle of the
day and we're gonna do more shit i'm like yeah go ahead but it's crazy and i don't even tell
them to anymore it's just because they watch my wife my wife orders a book i'd like a burger and
just throw it on some greens so they see that shit and they're like, all right, that's how they think that's it.
They don't even know what syrup is, dude.
If I go to a breakfast place and I point to syrup on the table,
I go, what is that?
They're like tea.
I'm like, uh-huh.
They don't even know.
So no peanut butter jellies?
No PBJs?
No, they do peanut butter jelly.
Okay.
Guilty.
Yeah.
Dude, too many.
Okay.
That's, I was going's to say our oldest our
oldest crush is pbs and jays she's like she's if i gave her pb and j every meal i think she'd be
totally happy and i get a talking to if i buy and first of all my wife bites almond butter and she
just buys it just the almonds it can't have any oh yeah i like that stuff too and like i'm a
scumbag i would would get Skippy.
The swirl mix with the jam in there too. Just any of that.
And then another thing, she only buys the bread that has like three ingredients.
Yeah.
Okay, so we do that stuff too.
That's what I'm saying.
I try to go healthy like that because I feel like they – we don't give them like white – well, we're trying not to give them like the white bread.
Yeah.
Well, the one with three ingredients is white as shit.
Oh, is it?
Okay, shit.
The one we get.
It's like a sour – it's a Watsonville sour as shit. Oh, is it? Okay, shit. The one we get. It's like a sourdough. It's a Watsonville sourdough.
Oh, sick. Okay.
Yeah, I usually like – I get a Trader Joe's, and it's like the multigrain bunch of crap.
Look it. Heidi paid me $10 to say the same thing twice.
No, you don't get obese from – we read this. Thank you, Heidi.
It's good. I like money.
Yeah, and so we don't like – as far as like I just said, their eating habits, we don't really give them like ice cream and like cookies and like that.
Like that doesn't usually happen very often.
Those are definitely special occasions.
So when we do go to Disneyland, I still let them have like, I'll let them pick like one or two things.
Hey, dude, and I think that's cool.
I take my kids to birthday parties and I'm like, go fucking crazy.
But they can't have soda
and they can't drink juice out of a box but you can have cake you can have ice cream that's kind
of what we do too it's like yeah you can't have all of it but you can pick like one or two things
you can have throughout the day but yeah you're not gonna you're not getting like a super sized
ice cream if you're getting an ice cream you're getting the smallest one right you know if you're
getting yeah and if you do have soda you're getting the smallest one you're not getting refills like i do i do stuff like that um so i try i haven't had soda yet oh damn dude
you gave your kid what kind of soda did you give them they got caffeine oh yeah like caffeine oh
rock stars rock stars red bull no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i was gonna say you hate yourself
there's a kid that they train with that drinks bangs a A jujitsu kid. Eight-year-old jujitsu kid, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Bangs.
You know how many memes you could make on a can of bang?
I can just like an eight-year-old with that much caffeine, dude.
You're already going to be flying off the walls, dude.
Yeah, no energy drinks.
No energy drinks.
We'll do like Cocaca-cola or whatever but uh olivia weed makes me feel like i pee my pants and the cops
are after me well said yeah that's it i haven't had that particular one but the sentiment is just
right up my alley yeah me neither i like that i mean, marijuana, I always feel like I'm like super happy when I'm smoking the ganja.
Oh, that's awesome.
Not me.
I feel like where's my phone?
Who's looking at my phone?
Paranoid.
I'd rather eat my pot, but part of the reason why I'm probably paranoid, I was talking to someone about this the other day, is because I'm black.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, I knew that.
So because I'm the kind of person, like if I walk into a store with a backpack on, I think right away everyone thinks I'm stealing.
I'm 51, and I still think that.
And that's how I realized I'm black.
So that's probably – but black guys like smoking weed in general.
They do, yeah. Maybe I should do like do like an ancestry.com because I love it I am a fan
shit I'm confused I do love yeah I do I'll get I'll get super giddy and I feel like I talk too
much too there's been a couple times there's a couple times too where I'm like I start and I
start laughing and I feel like if I don't if i don't cut myself off i'm laughing i'm just gonna laugh forever
and i'm probably like very annoying you know so i guess yeah yeah i hope not uh jesus it's al
not alvarez oh god you're right dude bro it doesn't matter my bad my bad i don't know
seven seven madison matosian armenian iranian blah blah blah i felt i felt good because
i got a first name julian because i used to call a guy julian all the freaking time yeah
at least you didn't call his wife miranda old droid oh shit yeah right that's true
uh seven name tag on josh is wrong oh weird
that's weird Oh, weird.
That's weird.
Yeah, I did a milkshake.
He got a small Oreo milkshake yesterday.
It was pretty crazy.
That's amazing.
That is amazing.
It was something else.
Okay, back to memes.
When's the last time you went to Disneyland?
A year ago with my kids.
And I probably can never go again.
It's kind of a shit show these days.
Yeah, I have all sorts of... I don't want to get into it with you here.
This is the first time on the show.
I want to be cool with you on here.
We're cool.
We're totally cool.
I want to be kind of cool.
Yeah, I like it.
41 years old, two children, likes Disneyland, does CrossFit,
obsessed like a lot of the good CrossFitters,
so obsessed that you have even made it part of your hobby
with the meme account, FluffyDuck.
Very popular account.
Fluffy Duck very popular account
probably the
most
I don't know if risque
is the word
it's probably fair to say
I'm not even sure I know what risque
means but
the freest
of
the least fearful
freest I don't know what the fuck the word is
yeah I think I understand yeah
I like to show cheeks
yeah like
this is a great post right here
like this
I had to watch this for like
45 seconds to figure out
what's going on here
oh shit you're actually moving that's not a still picture oh yeah no I'm in there I had to watch this for like 45 seconds to figure out what's going on here.
Oh, shit.
You're actually moving.
That's not a still picture.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm in there.
Yeah, this is a green screen.
You can kind of see the green screen behind me because I got some freaking janky setup.
I can't tell the look at her tits or your face.
I am flattered.
I am flattered.
How crazy is it that she has boobs still with how much she works out?
I know.
She has nice boobies too.
Very nice boobies.
So you got on all four, took your clothes off, got on all four,
and filmed yourself in that position?
Tell me about the process.
Can you just walk me through the whole how you came up with this?
I would love to know how you came up. Yeah.
It's, I think it's just from doing it so much,
but when you see a video like that with that angle, it's like, Oh,
that's a perfect shot where you can put yourself right in front of that to do
something like this is there's,
there's certain things that just catch my eye where I'm just like, Oh,
you can, it's so it's such an easy thing to manipulate. So, uh, yeah,
I mean, that was pretty much the thought process.
And then it got, got completely naked. I tried to do it like right here so i'm in like this shed i have like a shed
that i converted into like a little office space out here so detached that's detached from the
house where you are yeah oh interesting okay yeah and so like right out here is like the backyard
so it's around the corner so i can do i can get kind of weird right in this area nobody can really
see me uh so yeah i just put the green screen over like the wall on the outside here,
set up the tripod,
got completely nude.
And then,
and then when I had to,
when I had to crop the video and stuff,
I got to make sure there's no,
like,
cause I get flagged all the time on Instagram.
I'm like shocked that my account's not deleted.
Cause like,
it's almost like at least once a month I'll get popped a little warning.
I've probably got
40 or 50 little warning things.
Wow.
Actually, that video right there got a warning.
And I'm like, why?
But they didn't pull it down.
They don't pull it down, but they
unmonetized me.
So I don't make any money off of that stuff.
You make money off of your Instagram posts? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, I do.
There's like a little
creator fund where
X amount of
plays gets you X amount of dollars.
It takes a lot.
I'd say
per 1,000 views, I'd probably get a nickel for 1,000 views. you x amount of dollars you know so it's like it takes a lot um i'd say like if i got so like
per thousand views i probably get like a nickel for like a thousand views so it's nothing super
crazy and i get capped too i get capped at uh 8500 per video a month a month you've made
8500 in a month just off of just off of plays yeah
well I will say that's like my best month ever I don't I don't do that all
the time I'd say I probably average 2,000 that's probably what I usually
average off of off of just getting paid from Instagram I wonder why they cap it
uh I don't know I guess because if you ever hit if you hit something that blows
up you know you get something that's like 50 million views,
they'd probably pay a lot.
And then you also can't have too many followers.
Like The Rock, he has too many followers,
so he doesn't qualify.
So you have to find that sweet spot.
How do you know that about The Rock?
Are you friends with him?
Oh, yeah.
Besties.
No, I just read like the
you don't you don't read all your terms and agreement on everything
so it just says like you have to have i think you had to have like i love the presupposition
that you think i can read that's i'm flattered um there's like i think you have to have like
a minimum of 10 000 followers and i think you i think you get capped at either 500 000 followers and maybe it's a million followers
is where you get capped at um so you could be making your living on instagram go over a million
followers and be fucked correct wow so at that point you either got to let your sponsorships
got to kick up or you got to start just just blocking people yeah did you block anyone for any reason no no no yeah me neither no negative
um yeah that's i'm trying to think about that because you could get to like nine nine nine nine
nine just stop stop accepting anybody yeah jake chapman from the isle of man i'm setting up a
channel i'm coming for you mother ducker please do hey um
jake you know what you should really do is you should start a podcast up on your island
because the clicks the views from the isle of man i think are the highest anywhere in the world for
some reason i remember seeing that wow yeah the click-through rate or something it's the same
brazil has a crazy high one too i know the couple times we've had gi on we make a we make like 500 on a video i'm like what
gee damn damn um so so so it's just it's just it's it's 14 year old boy shit you see you're
tugging on the rope and then you're like oh i could have that coming out of my ass i'll try it
correct um and then and then what about the um create then you're like, Oh, I could have that coming out of my ass. I'll try it. Correct. Um, and then, and then what about the, um, create, are you ever like, I'm not
creative enough to do it or I'm not sure how I would do it or I don't have the time to do it or
like what, what are the challenges and the excuses that come up to stop it? All that pretty much all
that stuff comes up. Yep. All that stuff comes up. Either it might be like my work is like,
I'm too busy with work, work like because my wife works, too.
We have two kids. So like that's I'd say a majority of my stuff either comes when I'm like taking my lunch break with like work work or late, really late at night when everybody's asleep and I'm like making up stuff.
I'm trying to like batch together content. So, yeah, it's it's it's it's uh i mean that that's part of another reason
too where it's like i gotta cut back on creating so much stuff because it just it's it takes too
much of my time and i feel like i'm not present enough to sometimes when with my kids because
i'm always just thinking about stuff or i'm like scrolling his i would say like 99% of the time
when i'm scrolling instagram is like for like inspiration like coming up with ideas and it's seeing like how you know other creative creators that like I follow and stuff how they're
maybe come up with new ideas and so uh it's almost like homework I'm just like scrolling for like
homework like hours on end and so I need to I need I'd say about a year ago I finally kind of like
need to cut back because I'm like this is too to get way too much of my time because I love it too
I love doing it like if I didn't have kids, like if I was just solo, no family or anything,
I probably would just be doing that all the time.
Do you have another meme account?
No.
Oh, I mean like I have a TikTok.
It's a lot of the same stuff though.
Is there TikTok?
How many followers do you have on TikTok?
189.
Wow.
So they're running in parallel
with each other.
Fucking crazy, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Josh, what about something out of the
space?
I do some
of that more on TikTok
because I feel like the Instagram
is very, I'd say, majority of those
followers on there are very heavy CrossFit the the instagram is very like i'd say majority of those you know the uh you know like my the
followers on there are very heavy crossfit uh you know minded so instagram or tiktok i share a lot
of the same stuff over there but i can i can kind of do some non crossfit related stuff too over
there to try to like uh you know expand outside of just crossfit because yeah there's all kinds
of stuff i find hilarious you know i like to i like to expand uh expand outside of just CrossFit. Cause I, yeah, there's all kinds of stuff I find hilarious. You know, I like to,
I like to expand, expand some of the comedy out there.
Well, do you ever ask your wife to be in your stuff?
Yeah. And she has a couple of times, but she doesn't like it.
She doesn't.
No, she's not a fan. And she doesn't really like CrossFit either.
She does not like CrossFit. Isn't that funny?
Doesn't like it or doesn't have an interest in it.
I would say, I'd say both actually she doesn't have an interest and she's she's done it like she's uh you know like she'd throw a tomato at it like you know what i mean like there's like hey
like like it's like this i don't really like i don't really like homeless people but i wouldn't
i don't i don't or drug i don't really like drug addicts but i don't like do your thing but then
if you're in front of my house i'd pull pull out my BB gun and put one in your ass.
So you'd like, move along, buddy.
Well, yeah.
That's a great analogy, sir.
So would she put a BB gun in a CrossFitter's ass?
Like, move along.
Probably.
Yeah, probably.
Well, when I say she doesn't like it, I say because she's gone to the gym a few times and done workouts.
She doesn't like that kind of workout.
I keep trying to tell her, you to try more than like just one time
you know she thinks it's too she thinks it's too intense she's a big like orange theory fan she
loves orange theory and i'm like uh yeah i don't know if you watch hillar's content but he made a
video recently basically trying to define what crossfit is and uh and then nicole carroll did uh the former
director of training i would still say she's the director of training with dave but um she was just
on craig howard's uh podcast episode 39 prs daily and basically they just drove home something that
like we just can't forget without the intensity it It's not, it is just not CrossFit.
And basically those of us who do in Nicole said the same thing I said when
Hiller was at my house and he interviewed me,
I said,
I would never work out this hard if you weren't here.
And she said,
and you can't,
you can't really do it by yourself.
You have to go to a fucking affiliate.
Yeah.
And the thing is,
is that every time I do CrossFit,
like I,
I really ratchet up the intensity.
I,
I swear to God, I really ratchet up the intensity.
I swear to God I notice a body composition change
within fucking 24 hours.
In myself.
You know what I mean? It's like,
oh shit, all week I've been just
fucking along doing EMOMs
or fucking
watching TV while I do some fucking
bastardization of Linda.
And then when I fucking put the hammer down for
seven minutes, I'm like, whoa.
Yes.
I feel the workout for the next two days in a positive
way.
For sure.
It's with the juice. It's the shit.
Oh, dude.
I think it's pretty obvious. I love me some cross.
I think it's the greatest kind of methodology out there for sure.
And same thing.
I, I used to do, I feel like I kind of overdid myself when I was first started.
Cause I would do.
Me too.
Especially when I enjoyed overdoing it, but I did like, just like, whoa.
Yeah.
Well, then you hear like rich Froning does it like three times a day.
And I'm like, well, shit, I want, I want to get fit like rich Froning.
So I need to do it three times a day or like a Metcon, a strength, and then like a skill.
I used to do that for like the first couple years of like doing crossfit but now that
i kind of dial it back where i go like i go i work basically work out four days a week i do two like
bodybuilding type of days and i do two metcon heavy type of days and then uh all the other
days i put a vest on and i walk for an hour i do like a like a three or four mile hike just walk
around how old are you 41
oh you look fucking great dude that's right i know you're 41 yeah thank you sir yeah uh and i
my body feels way better because when i was hitting like because you know traditionally
it's like you know do a strength and then you do a metcon like when you go to the gym that's
that's how a lot of our programming is and so i don't know how to like dial it back when i'm in
the gym so i always just go to like i'd max out and so i think my body was just wearing out like i'd feel i'd feel good like
monday tuesday and then like you know get to like thursday friday i'm like i don't even have any
like i don't have any juice to like it wasn't i was never like injured either but i was just like
man i'm like i feel like i need to take a rest day but instead of resting i'm just gonna hit this
20 minute petcon as hard as i can so
do you do any of the other shit uh ice bath or hot sauna or any of that yeah me neither i want
to i want all that shit so bad me too yeah gosh this is too pricey man this is too pricey right
now i was thinking about joining a local gym that has that's smart yeah that's what i mean like a
45 a month or 65 for the whole family and i can go down there and sit in the steam room naked
instead of dudes cocks and then get in the
Just asking for a friend, which steam room
which gym is that?
Anything in Santa Cruz
Yeah, that's a good
The nice gyms here that I know of
they don't have any ice baths but they definitely have
saunas and steam rooms and stuff
You'd be surprised, I don't know when the last time you checked but the ice baths, but they definitely have like saunas and steam rooms and stuff. You'd be surprised.
I don't know when the last time you checked, but the ice bath is coming everywhere.
Oh, yeah. I'm a big believer in it.
I mean, like everybody I've heard.
But what I'm saying is, is I think I think the I think the if like the gym that you're saying doesn't have it, they might have it.
Yeah.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Everyone's everyone.
It's like it's a must toup bar, ice baths, sauna.
Okay, that's true.
Yeah, it's been a while since I've been in the traditional globo gym.
I haven't been there in a while, so yeah.
Where do you sauna, Phillip?
You go to a globo gym?
Did you get a pass, a media pass at the –
Yeah, I did.
No shit.
I'm a respected journalist.
How come my ass doesn't look like that?
Looks like I'm doing a rough hungover.
You actually did all this?
Hey, Grandma, isn't that your ex-boyfriend?
Remember not to post anything because we didn't go to the funeral.
Did you actually hear these?
God, you're going to make me pull back the curtains, Simon?
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
God dang it.
The best pre-workout I ever used was going to the funeral.
I mean, you were walking down the media corridor.
I don't run because running gives you wrinkles.
Is this neck shot just gratuitous showing off like
i cannot hear you because it is blurry this sorry is this just gratuitous you're showing
off like hey look at um oh yeah look look i got i got i got that i didn't even think about that
but yeah i guess it does mean that i i wasn't like this motherfucker look at his access
that's true that's all i see i gotta be more mindful of that yeah what a douche nozzle no
i wasn't trying to think i wasn't even trying to do that that's funny though uh yeah dude uh uh
yeah i was just chilling with the i was chilling in like the little pit area with all the coaches
too at the at the last day because they have this little pit area uh kind of on the other side where
all the media is supposed to be but like o'keefe and like sam dancer and frazier and everybody and like no
olsen we're all chilling over there i'm like i want to go hang out with those those jackasses so
um i just like as soon as i saw like o'keefe like walk in i just walked right behind o'keefe and
just walked in with them so i was just hanging out with like all those guys over there in the uh
over there the main picks i'm like what's the worst that's going to happen? They're just going to tell me not to be here.
Everyone likes you?
I think so.
Yeah.
They're not like – no one's like – you're not blackballed for like that one time you fucking made fun of Matt Fraser or something?
I mean, I'm just making it up.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
No, I mean, I wouldn't say we're homies, but we're friendly.
I'll chat with him from time to time.
I would say I'm definitely more friendly with O'Keefe.
I talk to him, like, not super regularly,
but I probably talk to him, like, maybe once a couple months, maybe,
just randomly about stuff.
Yeah, he's easy.
He's cool.
Oh, dude, O'Keefe, I love that guy.
Sam Dancer, same thing.
He's super cool.
Super cool.
Super cool.
Yeah, yeah.
So those guys, I would say i'm friendly with them
i wouldn't say we're like homies but i'm definitely friendly with them but yeah i've had good experience
with matt uh they're warm they're warm those are two warm gentlemen um you just mentioned
oh keith and sam dancer yeah oh very warm yeah like so those are the kind of guys like if anybody
says anything bad about them i'd be like what's wrong with you because i don't really everybody I know says nothing but great things about them, and my experience has been nothing but great.
So if you don't like them –
When the show is over, I'll test you out.
I have a couple things.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Boobs.
Boobs are cool.
When I – I've seen a couple of these, and I'm fascinated by the boob phenomenon
elaborate what do you mean just boobs in general like literally you see her
first of all she's plenty attractive yeah
she's good she's got an insane body her body's a 10 super face is a 10 yeah she's just a she's
just a perfect just you're just like perfect girl very gymnastic and um then she puts these in
and and like i can't separate the fact that like i know that they're not real oh yeah like all of a sudden everything
has changed even though i know they're water balloons i think that's a guy i think this is
how the dude brain the guy brain works man because yeah the same thing i'm like i don't even i don't
even care that they're fake it just looks so awesome awesome. Yeah. Is that what it is? But really, that
right there is what fake boobs are.
They just put the water balloons under
the shirt one layer deeper. They put the water balloons
under the skin. Correct.
But it's ridiculous that we still fall
for it. It's just so ridiculous.
Yeah.
I can't even talk myself out of it. I don't want
to succumb to it. I don't want
to succumb to it.
Well, I wrote a good thing. I don't want to succumb to it. I don't want to succumb to it.
Why ruin a good thing?
Why ruin a good thing?
I've seen a few of these, and every time I'm like,
what the fuck is going on between my ears?
How come I can't like... Correct.
I was going to say, oh, yeah.
Well, dudes are such...
They're such visual... visual like it's the visual
stuff right that attracts you to the i would say for the most part yeah it's more and the females
are like more of like a personality trait i know there's a better way of saying that but but you
get what i'm saying hey this is an interesting comment boobs are overrated here's the thing too
where here's the thing where i kind of agree with you in this one sense okay like once you're doing it like you don't care oh yeah yeah that's interesting like oh like like like
you may see some boobs from like you may be walking through disneyland and like over on three rides
over you see some crazy titties yeah like on alice in wonderland yeah she's rocking some jugs
but cinderella knockers but when you're naked with a girl in bed it's like it does doesn't matter
it's like it doesn't yeah well it in bed it doesn't matter it's like
it's part of the courting process
but at the end of the day
it's like someone handing a peanut butter
jelly sandwich to you like this
or flipping it on the other side
maybe one side looks better but at the end of the day
when you take a bite out of it it's all
you're just fucking happy
where's the milk
do you know what i mean by that like
small boobs big but it doesn't matter yeah that once you're in the in it doesn't it's not it's
just peanut butter and jelly so on you should there should be like a book made of like your
analogies because they're fucking always amazing i love your analogies every time um yeah they're
amazing they're great um well when you're saying boobs are rated like boobs in general i mean like
i would say boobs or maybe saying big boobs are overrated because i mean i like yeah yeah i guess
they they promise something that's like um it this is going to be way too harsh but big boobs
are kind of like a kit car you know let's say it's got like the ferrari body but then you hear
it start up and you're like oh that's a kit car there's a Volkswagen engine I'm not saying that just big boobs don't live up to
anything more than little boobs like at the end of that's what I mean by the at the end of the
day you're just happy to be with boobs correct this is yeah facts you're just like for sure
you're like this is cool this is nice yeah yeah exactly it's just
like a just an added an added plus but yeah they're not like garnish you're never like oh
my god look at all that parsley on there i don't know that didn't even make sense what i said but
i just like saying garnish put it in the book put it in the book i like it um yeah yeah i guess so
yeah i think but yeah i need but there needs to be a little boob i need i need a little boob Put it in the book. I like it. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I think...
But there needs to be a little boob.
I need a little boob.
At least.
When the show's over,
remind me to tell you about this person, right?
This person's ass right here.
Boom. Body karate.
By the way, I saw somebody say...
I probably should not say this. I'm going to tell you on the air.
Oh, great.
This person right here...
Mm-hmm.
Their body...
Body karate.
You can't even fucking imagine this body.
I'm going to have to show you a picture or something.
Guy or girl?
It's a girl.
I just don't know if I should say this out loud this part this is good do you know that
creature the minotaur it's like i think it's a dude on top but it's like a horse down below yeah
yeah this this woman's lower body is so insane you can't even it's everywhere i go where she
is someone will be like hey have you seen that over there?
It's okay to talk about it because it's like...
It's not human.
You have to...
It's a trip.
Of course, that human
doesn't... I understand
why she's a butt person.
It's like... It's a senator. Yeah, she's a senator. she's a butt person. It's like...
Yeah, she's a sanitar. It's a female
sanitar. That's right. By the way, props
to her for not
thirst trapping it on her profile pic.
Good for her. Yeah, she's way incognito.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to say in there.
Anyone who knows...
Anyone who knows her in real
life knows right away who she is. I would never
even have to say anything.
She has no peer in the belly button down category.
It's not even like a normal.
I'm going to have to show you.
I can't tell you who she is.
Yeah, it's mythical.
Get your mythical creature straight, nerd.
But it is a mythical creature.
Centaur.
Mike, someone sent me a nude photo of you uh um no it's not even like
i'm telling you it's not like danny spiegel it's not like that it's it's um danny's just got a lot
of junk in the trunk yeah which is great too dan don't get me i'm not yeah yeah this thing is um
this thing looks like someone put an animal's
hindquarters what are cows called or horses they're they have a uh they're not mammals they're
come on i have no pachyderms what oh yeah sure that's a funny word right i want i like to use
funny words pack and okay she's got a packer derm lower uh yeah yeah
yeah oh you know who it is philip yeah great are you kidding me great that's an understatement
it's like a bow it's bovine it's it's fucking nice it is absolutely mind-boggling nuts
okay fine i said it i started making myself sweat I love it yeah you're getting all worked up
I love it
alright
yeah see Chester knows
yeah it's
if you've seen her it's
it's weird
it doesn't make any sense to you
what's crazy too is you'll see another girl who
the first time I really noticed it there was this other girl next to her who has the most insane body ever.
And then she walked next to that girl and made that girl –
Dang.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, oh.
Hell to the yeah.
What have we – you know, like I had to recalibrate.
Like everything got all fucking scrambled.
Yeah.
And then you go right to Disneyland and you're just like, what the shit is going on over here oh she'd break disneyland everyone knows too all the girls
know this about everyone knows this about her yeah of course of course she's that so now and
now we know her boob bias booboo overrated it's like all makes sense it all checks out i want to
i want to get off the show now and hide after that. I think I went too far.
Somebody in the comments said that you can't get like a pass, like a journal pass to CrossFit stuff?
No, they've been cool with me.
Oh, okay.
I just don't – they've been very cool with me. I think every time – yeah, Nicole Carroll's ass is crazy too.
It's not nicole carroll i'm telling you though this
this sleekies body is not um it's not a human body that's the part you have to uh dear lord
yeah look she she says i want to hide now too yeah see i fucked it all up for everyone um
i could get i could get access uh they or they always give suza access or whoever applies
underneath the um um, yeah.
Seven on podcast is always.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I was gonna say,
I would hope to God.
So, I mean,
if I'm out there,
dear Lord,
what's the name of your podcast?
Kind of fit.
Kind of funny.
Kind of fit.
Kind of funny.
Oh yeah.
That's yeah.
I mean,
there's two things.
I'm going to,
uh,
Oh,
you had Carl Powell on.
I love that guy.
God,
I love that dude.
I'll,
I'd say like 95% of reason why I'm good at gymnastic stuff is because of his
videos.
Dude,
you've had a fucking lot of people on.
Yeah,
dude,
it's been pretty awesome.
It's been very cool.
You had Hunter. Yeah. God,. Yeah, dude. It's been pretty awesome. It's been very cool. You had Hunter? Yeah, I got him.
What a swell dude.
Oh, this guy, Aaron Crescall.
Oh, funny as shit, dude.
How did you meet him?
Just slid into his DMs.
Just slid into his DMs.
Are you kidding me?
Mm-hmm.
Do you have a blue checkmark?
Not on YouTube. No no but on your instagram yeah yeah but i will say it's not because i'm cool it's because i paid for it do you think
that that's do you think that that's how he saw you i guarantee it's hard to not think it doesn't
help it's got to help because at minimum it's a it'll grab your attention you
know a little bit and that's all sometimes it's all it takes you know just enough to
i don't think the people who paid for it aren't cool i think it just makes you realize that the
people who didn't pay for it aren't cool but okay i like that i'm gonna stick with that because
dude if you're allowing the people in fucking silicon valley to choose who's cool or not cool you are fucking crackhead this is true they are the least cool
people ever yes i know i was guilty man i applied for that thing i don't know how many times i get
every single time i get denied um and they didn't let me like when it first came out they didn't let
me pay for it for a long time either that's why i was like god you guys do not like me like my shit's gonna get bad any moment i had like 60 or 70 000 followers on
facebook and they and they deleted it they took it down you had a facebook account that got taken
down two or three years ago and it's a it is literally the same content literally the same
content oh because it was inappropriate yeah i guess yeah i lost my uh
instagram i had an instagram account with a blue check mark and i lost it yeah that sucks dude
sucks ass uh but yeah i can't quite figure out the the uh youtube game man as you can see my
views are just like amazing right no i mean you tripled your views look at you went from nine views to 21 views you've
suza how the fuck did we get this guy on the show don't we have a minimum of how many views you can
get on youtube before this is true oh i said a little sneaky sneaky by me i think i photoshopped
a bunch of bunch of stuff uh up of the numbers but you know what's interesting about this i had a
ariel lowen on and i don't think i cussed or swore
one time on that show and it got it hit the algorithm way more oh yes yes they do not like
it when you use naughty words oh great great fucking point motherfucker dude i am i have a
sewer mouth i just i mean all non-stop just flows right out of me
alexis raptus dan bailey sean woodland on a couple times three times tommy hackenbrook
jeffrey adler did he have his wife next to him the whole time making sure like helping him talk his babysitter samuel quant uh camille leblanc bazinet and dave lipson they're
good dudes they're good peeps oh they didn't make you do it in the car when i had him on i had to do
it in the car yeah yeah uh who's that who's this oh she was like my co-host for a while
she's my co-host for a while she was she my co-host for a while. She was cool.
She was a friend.
Jason Kalipa.
Christian Harris.
Holy shit.
How is Christian Harris?
He's more serious than I thought.
He's kind of a serious dude.
Yeah.
Very hard podcast for me.
Yeah.
It's hard to get him to like...
The way I kind of map it out when I'm making notes is like try to like just ease them into it.
And like the second half of the show is when I try to hit them with like the zingers, the crazy questions.
Is it true black men have huge – did you get the white penis or the black penis?
I know you're half and half.
Good God.
If I had thought of it, I probably would have asked them.
I got to feel it out too because sometimes you throw those questions out there and they're like uh i don't know you like that buddy you're gonna like you gotta chill but
i feel like you're pretty you don't give a f you're gonna go for it i i try to i've there's
a few people that i've like just fucked up with yeah um i the last show i did daniel brandon i
fucked up um i i fucked up one with hayley adams other than that i don't think i've ever fucked one up
and by fucked it up it's like i i didn't you have to have some editor on yeah what i said i was
talking about just hygiene with hayley and we started talking about shaving i started asking
about her shaving and then i was like oh this this is not like and i had to like back it's
tiptoe out even my mom goes that was weird
i'm like yeah i but i wasn't like i'm not like perverse i wasn't like yeah no i know like i
wasn't like trying to ask her about shaving her pussy but but it just it it had those implications
i got and then with daniel brandon we started i i just we started talking about her nipple
piercings and i couldn't um I wanted to make it light and fun.
I thought she would have fun with it and I could tell she wasn't.
And it just, I was like, Oh, I read her wrong. My fault. I read her wrong.
I would think she would be game for that type of convo, but maybe not.
And I want to protect my guests.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I try to feel like.
I try to like use like the first half of the show to try to feel them out.
Like, what are they willing to, what are they willing to do?
What are they willing to like go, where are they going to go with me kind
of thing um and then i usually because i almost have like my second half of like my notes i usually
have like pg type questions and then like r rated quite like depends on where i want to go with you
know just to see how they're feeling out and so um because that to me that's the fun stuff dude i
love asking like questions that make you slightly kind of a little uncomfortable.
That's good stuff.
It's good.
Or, or yeah.
Yeah.
Um, but then there's other people who just say like, yeah, there's other criticism where
I'd say 90% of the criticism that people bring to me, like I know right away they're bringing
their own shit to me.
Like, Hey, that was inappropriate. It's like,
yeah,
no,
you're a fucking,
uh,
a closet pedophile and you've,
and you're,
and you're trying to,
you're doing everything in your power not to fall out.
I understand.
Like it's okay.
Yeah.
Uh,
I understand why gay jokes make dudes in the closet.
Uh,
uncomfortable.
I fully get it.
Eaton Beaver.
I follow a guy who does music reaction videos.
The channel is called Black Pegasus.
He hit over 100,000 subs, but he won't get the silver plaque because of his thoughts on the 49ers and masks.
Oh, wow.
Oh, interesting.
Yep.
49ers is our code word here for.
I got you.
Mm-hmm.
I got you.
It's a real shame like these uh social platforms
have so much control and so much like naysaying on freedom of speech and stuff really chaps my ass
uh tim paulson totally underrated guest oh god fucking crazy kind he love that dude someone's
doing a podcast have him on he is
i've had him on a couple times he's money i need to have him on for a full podcast he's money
i do uh like um like a talk soup ripoff type of every every now and then like me like once a month
i'll do like talk soup remember that show who was the original host of that?
Craig Kilborn?
Wow.
Nice pull, right?
Like that one?
Dude, when I used to watch that show, I was a little kid and it would fucking...
I love that show. I couldn't even believe what I was seeing.
I was like, this is what I want to do for a living.
100%.
I love that show.
So I was definitely inspired.
So I kind of do like a poor man's version of that where it's like it's me and Wes Pyatt.
And then we bring on a third.
We bring on a third guy.
Oh, Nick Wadsami.
He was on there last one.
But I've had.
Is it on this YouTube station?
Yeah, it should be.
Yeah, it should be on there.
But I had Tim Paulson on as a third guy on there.
And man, the way he was
chiming in was he was hilarious tim paulson's hilarious i want to see this uh this uh yeah
it's called uh duck soup very clever god if anyone doesn't know and then they kind of um
when they moved away from craig kilbourne the show went downhill. Yeah, they had a... And now there's Tosh.0
and he's on a whole nother, like, he's
kind of just like, I think he's the greatest
comedian. I think he... Oh, dude.
He's my favorite. I think he makes Dave Chappelle
look like a schoolgirl. Oh, I
said it. I said it.
I love Chappelle too. I know, me too, but
it's just, there's levels to this shit.
Do you like Jesselnik, Anthony Jesselnik?
I don't know who that is. Do I need to know?
I think you would enjoy him very much.
If you're liking Daniel Tosh, I think you'd very much like Anthony Jeselnik.
Very funny dude.
Is this the guy, the funny guy you've had him on that many times?
The funny guy?
The guy with the four million Instagram followers?
Oh, that's hilarious. No, this is one of my buddies.
This is another buddy.
It kind of looks like him.
No, no, no.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I only had Aaron on there once.
Okay, where's TalkSoup?
If you go back up almost to the very top,
it was the second episode to the right.
This one?
Oh, DuckSoup.
Yep, right there.
Boom, DuckSoup.
Uh-huh. Yep. It-huh yep coaching making your journey
all the more will you report me if i play more than seven seconds oh 100 okay thank you you're
welcome what a what a swell group over there that's just a ad what camera are you using right
there that would be an iphone yeah dude cinematic setting cinematic
setting looks nice huh dude you just go in there and you manipulate all like the you know like the
white balance killing me your shit looks good though dude your shit looks really good. You have an iPhone.
Is it plugged in?
No.
I always use the one I'm using right now when I'm chatting with you.
I have this little thing that's hanging down
right next to it where I hook my phone in.
I basically record at the same time.
I have that file separately.
Yep.
Can you send me a picture when we're done?
Of like my setup?
Yeah.
Yeah, here, watch this.
I'm dying right here.
So you're telling me that you have an iPhone.
Is your iPhone plugged into a battery?
No, it'll, because my shows are like an hour, you know?
And so I'll, I can get it to, I can get it to.
Your webcam is an iPhone on cinematic mode.
Yeah, let me see if I can pull this damn thing out.
Dude, you have the most beautiful fucking shot in podcast history.
I cannot even fucking believe this.
So this is like the setup I'm looking at right now.
So I got this little light over here.
I got this little light.
And then up here, I got this little thing that comes down down and then that's where I hook my phone in right here
Boom, and then this camera sits like right up here
And then this is like my little set up here. What camera sits up here? What was that?
Oh the one I'm the one I'm holding what I'm holding now sits like right next to it up here
So sits right up here. So you're okay. And what is that camera that you're holding?
Well, I don't know how I can show you.
Oh, what?
It's just a Dell.
It's just like a Dell Hi-Def.
Oh, it's just a webcam.
Yeah, it's just a webcam, yeah.
So you're not using your iPhone now with me?
Correct, no, no.
This is just like a little webcam, yeah.
Because I tried doing it with the phone.
It just didn't, It just didn't.
It just wasn't recording right.
So I just thought it's easier just to record separately.
How big is that monitor that you're looking at?
Oh, yeah, it's huge. I think it's a 44 inch, 42 inch.
So is it a monitor or is it a TV?
It's a TV.
Yeah, TV.
Hey, when you wake up in the morning morning are you just so excited to go into there
into your office yeah kind of you made it sweet it did it's pretty sweet in here yeah i got a
little ac unit back here and then the winter time got a little heater over here and then uh
yeah here let me get you take it off that's how i feel um when i get to sleep alone in my bed with
my wife when my kids aren't in there.
I'm like, oh my God, I have her all to myself.
Yep.
My office isn't really like that.
I mean, I like doing the show here, but outside of my cockpit, I'm not too stoked on it.
Although, I'm getting ready.
I keep buying more and more shit.
I'm getting ready to do a massive build in here.
But your shit, it looks fun.
Oh, you have a pool.
You have a pool. I do have a pool, here. Your shit, it looks fun. Oh, you have a pool. You have a pool.
I do have a pool, yep.
I see your pad.
Yep.
When do you get to take that fence down?
How old do your kids have to be
before you have to get rid of that ugly thing?
I mean, if you ask me,
I'd probably take it down a lot quicker,
but my wife is a little more concerned about it.
Our five-year-old is a great swimmer.
She's fine.
I would have no problem taking it down.
But she probably
wants to keep it up for a little while longer.
She's still concerned about the kiddos.
Sousa, hi.
Yo. You ready?
Yeah. Thank you for calling back. Quick question.
Do we
make money on our Instagram
account for the Sevan podcast?
Yep.
It's just
chilling there. Remember we talked about it a little bit
ago. We got to link it up so we could
deposit our fortunes.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
Now that you mention it, I do vaguely remember
it. Yes, because
we have to sync up.
Hey, Josh. What's up man hey buddy
josh made 8 500 one month um uh pulling a rope out of a rope making a video that looks like a
rope's being pulled out of his ass by danielle brandon even though it's like not it's his
it's not even real she didn't even actually pull 30 feet of rope out of his ass he's a fraud he used a green screen
that's amazing i gotta make ends meet buddy
we just gotta sync it up so if you remember i i was like hey it's gonna send you a text you
have to text me back a code and then we can link it okay so okay but but just to get the money but the money's still just stacking in there
yeah yeah hey um uh maybe i'll make a video of like um that a video of hillar next time he's
here like doing that thing to my arm where he rubs me with coconut oil on my skate ramp in the sun
and with the butter knife there is not rope coming out of my ass but i'm guarantee you there's
people oh yeah it's click worthy
we'll do it in slow motion and play
some nice background music
I'll be able to retire
damn
hey you should see
Josh's setup is crazy
I know I saw
the studio for the podcast it looks awesome
thanks man
yeah you know he just wakes up in the morning.
He's like, yeah, I get to go in there and play.
Yep. Correct.
Correctably dope.
All right. Thanks for calling.
Susan, are you on tonight's show, the CrossFit Games Update show?
Yeah, I could be on the show.
I don't know if there's room.
You got the full panel of studs.
No one wants to hear you babble.
Hey, did you see Keith, the director of marketing, was on the Cocktails podcast?
I saw bits of it in the thread this morning, but I haven't actually watched it.
I don't mean to be a dick at all.
I say this with complete sincerity.
If you're the director of marketing of
CrossFit Inc., why would you go on a brand
diminishing podcast?
Safe space, Devon.
Safe space.
It's fucking crazy. I'm not even
trying to be mean towards Nicky
Brazier and Wooly. I just don't
think it's good for anyone's brand to go on there.
It's like
it makes you boring and
vapid. I haven't watched it yet.
Vapid?
Oh, shit.
Dude.
Okay, well,
I'm going to watch it today.
Maybe I was thinking we should change the name of the
CrossFit Games Update Show to something else,
like just CrossFit Update Show.
CrossFit Ask
Founding Show. I would totally watch that. show to something else like just crossfit update show crossfit ass pounding show
i would totally watch that totally maybe we could outsource um that clip that he has of
josh has of um rope coming out of his ass as part of our intro it's part of our logo
as pounding that oh yeah
steal it take it away It's all yours.
I will say this.
I am really excited to watch that podcast with Keith on it,
the director of marketing for CrossFit Inc.
It is going to be.
When your celebration of life is prepaid in advance,
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dignity memorial provider find us at DignityMemorial. Bye. Go ahead, Josh. See you, bud. Thanks, Susan. I'd say somehow, someway, like once per podcast of mine,
I bitch and moan about CrossFit Media.
You do.
Oh, yeah.
I'm so sad of where it's at right now compared to where it was like 2013, 14.
That's when I was like falling in love with it.
17, 18.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden just like, man.
And it's like that's the reason why we fell
in love with all these and i i blow smoke up your tush buddy behind the scenes is the greatest
content ever it's the greatest content ever and it's the reason why we love all these
athletes and it's the reason why like i was such a huge josh bridges fan is the reason why i love
like marcus philly it's because like yeah you, you know, you know, they're great at, you know,
they're fit. That's like, that's a no brainer. But
I want to know, like, what do you do?
Yeah. What do you do? What do you do at home?
Like, how do you do it with your family? What do you do
like on your site? Like all those questions you'd have. I love
when you ask Matt Chan, can you still bone after you had
his bike accident? Fucking hilarious.
I did ask him that. That seems appropriate.
Oh, yeah. You're all, can you, can you fuck?
He's all, what? He's all, yeah. He's all, you're going to ask that Cheryl, man. a little inappropriate. Oh, yeah. Can you fuck? He's all, what?
He's all, can you fuck?
You're going to ask that Cheryl that?
It's fucking great questions, dude.
That was on the behind the scenes?
Oh, dude. That was an all-timer, buddy.
Yeah, that was a great one, dude.
Yeah, he was just zipping around in his golf cart.
He could still fuck.
So funny.
Part of me kind of wants to figure out a way to go this year and get a coach's pass oh god i'd love it and then just hang with colton the entire time
and kind of awesome and kind of just do pen and teller with him kind of just take the piss out
of him the whole time like he's like seriously trying to do the thing and i'm just fucking ripped i'm just cracking not ripping but just cracking jokes on
him the whole about with him the whole time kind of like how darren hunsucker used to do to rich
oh yeah yep you know what i mean like quit being a pussy it's like dude like rich isn't in first
anymore and like here in the back on him a pussy it's like so good that content is amazing though
i love i i know i'm not just
the only one i feel like tons of people love that stuff too that's like that's like the best stuff
to see it's like all the behind the scenes stuff yeah and i feel like it got better each year
because your relationship with these athletes developed and evolved and so you can kind of
there's no more like you can you can go right into busting balls it seemed like a lot a lot
more easier than you know because everybody's kind of friendly with you and they they know what you're there
for and stuff so it's just the evolution of that behind the scenes was oh man i could never get
athletes were so cool to me dude oh yeah even the athletes that i got like beef with now like
like people like katrin made it ben bergeron made it o'keefe made it travis mayor
ben smith ritt they fucking made that shit sam briggs because if
once they open up to you or jason cleba once they they're like fuck it i'm just gonna accept this
fucking ding dong being here it's game on right but max el haj they would let the coaches that
would let me get close and then there were some there were some that were you know were more
standoffish no one was ever an Um, but fuck once they let their,
they're like,
they just accept me.
It's game on.
But I think that's the props to you for making them feel that comfortable.
Like,
do you ever watch Kevin and B or it's not on anymore,
but you know,
Kevin and being radio show.
Do you ever heard of that?
Okay.
It was,
yeah,
it was in LA for like 20 something years.
It's a very popular morning show.
Anyways,
I think what they,
one of the geniuses that they did, and I think you are similar, is that you kind of would ask very thought provoking questions.
But then you get out of the way like you wouldn't step on any toes like you'd let like some people want to be like the star.
But you never really want to be the star.
That's the way it is on my podcast.
I want to be the star, but not when I'm behind the scenes.
You're right.
You're right.
You were not.
Yeah.
And I think you'd let them be the star.
And that was like that was perfect you
wouldn't get it you wouldn't let you let them talk and just them organically talking was the most
beautiful piece of content you'd come across it's like so amazing i love i love watching this stuff
i was more excited for that sometimes than the actual cross-strike games i thought that stuff
was amazing and i don't know if the other. There's a flirting with uncomfortable silence.
So when you're interviewing someone in person,
you have to go right to that edge where it just starts to feel weird
because that's when you want them to jump in and fill that void.
And that's when they'll say some like –
Exactly.
They'll give up a gem right
yep i would and i would say i'm not good at that either like i know that
but man in the moment sometimes when i'm talking i feel like i usually just
sometimes the first one to like jump in and try to break the silence
right i need to get better yeah you get better at that because i think that i
think you're right yeah when they when the other person tries to break the
silence that's when the good juicy stuff starts coming out
in this format um in this format the format, I feel like I have to do that because I don't want the show to be boring.
In the interview when you're recording, you can edit.
But in this, I just feel like, fuck, if the show's not moving along, I need to jump in.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I think that's good too
I think you're right on there
pounding show fun
oh
yeah
yeah I'd love to
I'm texting sorry
I need an automatic response that just says
podcasting
you can set that up
I know I have what you need
like from
boys in the hood you can set that up i know i have what you need like like from um
boys in the hood what you need it just says what and then you need that's one of mine and then i have i'll call you back in two minutes which i never do two minutes like two hours it's
such a lie oh i know it's like yeah if you expect if you actually expect me from two minutes that's
on you, buddy.
I want to.
What are your automatic responses?
Oh, shit. No, I haven't.
They're all standard ones.
Stock? Stock.
I love you.
Just over and over again.
This one's got some heart emojis.
For the CrossFit ass-pounding ass pounding show fund oh thank you barry
uh i know you i heard you talk about your you are considering possibly going to the games
thinking about it yeah about it i'm flirting with the idea hell yeah but you could ask me
in five minutes and it could be totally different i could be like no but now that I – yeah. Are you going?
Yeah.
Yeah, I love going.
It would be cool to meet you.
Yeah, dude.
That would be freaking rad.
And hang out.
Yeah, and we'll smoke some weed together.
You're cooler than I thought you were going to be.
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah.
I wish I could say the same for you.
Thank you.
You're – like, I think I uh yeah i i i think i like you awesome buddy yeah i've been a big fan of yours for a while man i love love yourself by the way
vindicate i know that's your i know it's your homie yeah vindicate you uh i mean you got a you
got a t-shirt that's very similar to yours truly bud oh he stole one of your shirts
he just straight ripped it off I don't know if he did
or not but I feel like accusing him
we're gonna
we'll pull up his website in a second
and look at what he stole from you
but before we do
I was just about to accuse you of being
inspired by me
please tell me
please tell me this was inspired by me please tell me oh please tell me this was inspired by me please
tell me because i was like showing i i've there's this about two months ago i was into floppy cox
like it just popped in my algorithm right yeah and then i saw you do it on show i'm like oh please
tell me i was so proud did you come on this on your own, Floppy Cox,
or did you happen to see it on my show?
No, shit, dude.
I did.
I came up on my own.
My bad, dude.
But, I mean, am I inspired by you?
Don't you think that's weird that only me and you,
two dudes in the CrossFit space, became obsessed with Floppy Cox?
Dude, I can't get enough of it, dude.
I can't get enough of it.
I think it's, like, so hilarious.
First of all, just the sheer size is just so impressive and like you know those guys know
what they're doing there's like no way you can't know what they're doing i what do you think they
squeeze it if like a bunt like they get it like you know how like you can make your dick like
fucking raging hard and then you can fucking like take a few deep breaths and think about basketball
and you only lose like 20 of the side but it'll be flaccid you know what i mean you're
like wow you think they're doing that shit for sure yes god i hope that's just not regular
it's just regular regular regular regular
uh look mike mccaskey says two months ago how about about now? No, I'm over the penis thing.
I'm totally – I've stopped obsessing on penises.
I'm chill.
Oh, yeah.
No, there's some massive Johnsons.
I'm just like, holy moly. So why don't you be like – Josh, why don't you be like – I can't do that on my Instagram.
That's too much.
Why are you like – what do you mean like so you saw that that popped in your algorithm you clicked it and you're like wow and then you're like oh shit i should do my reaction like is that
inspired by your actual reaction did you have like a wow and you're like oh that i need to like just
turn that up a tiny bit and then just record much i pretty much do i usually like once it's
happening i'm like in the moment and i'm like of course i'm gonna you know try to turn that up a tiny bit and then just record much I pretty much do I usually like once it's happening I'm like in the moment and I'm like of course
I'm gonna you know try to ham it up a little bit but
like it's not my first initial
reaction of watching that was not it's not
too far off it's like
holy I was like a jaw
drops I was like dude
yeah you want to see it I do want
to see it I do want to see it
100%
my lord it is amazing.
Those things are just, yeah, just pure, just a sword.
What about taking it to the next level?
Did you think about make it so you were sitting at a dinner table cutting a sausage or something?
Do you ever think, is there too much?
I don't think there's no i'm like
i never think you know it's funny there's a couple times i've posted a video and my what
my wife will get mad at me and she'll be like you need to take that down this is too much this is
too far and i'm just like what give me how about the rope coming out of the ass that wasn't too
far no that's not too far for it's maybe like uh maybe maybe i pushed a lot and it's probably for she's usually the voice of reason
too but maybe i take the uh poking fun at the the gay community too far and so you never know
how the backlash you can get from that because i get you know i get a lot of hate too there's like
there's weekly weekly i get like people mad at me about something um the thing is is like
i don't know how the only thing gayer than liking dicks flopping
around a penis is to put one in your mouth i mean like how like i mean we're as close as you can get
to being gay without being gay how could they fucking hate on us and we're like cheering you on
i and i like man i'd like i'm a sideline like and i say repeatedly too all i'm trying to do
is make you laugh that's all i'm
trying to do i'm not trying to like degrade anyone or like because i don't i don't really
think there should be anything really off limit i think you should be able to make fun of and poke
fun at like anybody and everything um and like my sense of humor that's what you're talking about
dan otosh like to me it's like the more offensive the better like i kind of want you to hurt my
feelings because i feel like that's i feel like that's like when the most funny stuff comes out. And so, um, although I
also, I also am conscious of like, you know, if I take something too far, there's going to be,
and it does well, it's gonna be like the first time anybody sees my content and I could see
how they could be interpreted wrong. That's not the reason why I don't post it. Um,
I could see how they could be interpreted wrong.
That's not the reason why I don't post it.
I don't know.
I think a part of me too is like,
I,
you know, I have a wife,
I have kids and stuff and I don't want to do anything that just some random,
like,
I don't want to post a video or just somehow,
some way,
some,
the wrong person takes it too far.
And then it like leads to something totally not necessary of happening.
So like where my family or kids are you know um in jeopardy what's the oh
uh at some point like just being on the internet puts you at that in that yeah in that um like you're on the internet it puts you you're in jeopardy already
yeah no i understand that yeah i mean i guess you're saying you don't want to trigger some
fucking psycho yeah pretty much that's pretty much it comes down that's like and that's
almost like the sole reason why i hold back at all because like if something i post
like offends you i don't i don't really care that's not that's not a reason for me to take it
down well your intention is not to offend anyone right yeah like i'm not like oh i'm gonna stick
it to gay people today yeah i'm gonna stick it to girls with big boobs today i'm gonna stick it
it's just like you you think oh shit that's fun. You're not trying to seduce
anyone. You're not trying to seduce anyone
by having that rope pulled out of your ass. You just thought
it was just completely absurd. Yeah, I just want
to make you laugh. I want you to just be, yeah, I just want to get
chuckles out of it. It's all I'm trying to do.
Yeah, if somebody messages me,
that's offensive. That hurts. I'm like,
I don't see it. I don't know how you're getting offended
by some of the stuff that I get people to say they're offended
by. I'm just like mind blown. I'm like, I don't even know how you're even beginning to get offended by some of this stuff.
And so that's usually not a reason why I take stuff down.
It's more of like if I take something down, it's probably because my wife told me to take it down.
So I want to listen to this one real quick. Let me see.
Yeah.
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you?
Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? oh yeah yeah i saw this
we could all laugh together i got i got a uh someone made me did you see uh someone made me
did you see what I posted about it?
Oh, yes. I can't recall.
It's me dressed in the same clothes
like sitting back-to-back with that cat.
That's amazing.
I love when people make memes of me.
Oh, yeah. It's the best.
Josh has no limits.
His YouTube shorts are out there.
Oh.
How are you on time I'm chilling
oh dude I'm like oh yeah totally solid
he's like fuck you you made me get up at 7
like let's fucking milk this motherfucker
it's all good dude
it's all good buddy oh you know what happened
our AC unit went out last night around 8 o'clock
F me
oh just so people who know
if you live in Fresno and your AC unit goes out, you're lucky you're still alive.
It's like a Scottsdale down a little bit.
A little less than Scottsdale.
I'm in this little shed with my AC and my whole family's in the house.
My house is off right now.
Holy shit.
It's supposed to be 114 on sunday here will you get
your ac fixed by then i'm hoping to get it fixed in the next few hours yeah yeah okay i want to
see this ducks thing and then i want to go over to your shorts oh yeah dude let's see
hey this is the most this show is so relaxed thank you i you. I needed a relaxed show.
I fucking love it, dude.
Yeah.
I love this.
I'm having a good time.
Kind of bizarre, dude.
Isn't that unreal?
I can really see this being huge, just staying focused for work.
Because I get so distracted when I'm doing work.
So I can imagine putting this on and working and helping to keep focused.
Sorry, I have a phone call.
Oh, it's spam. No.
It's something from North Carolina.
Ooh.
This message
is brought to you by Advanced Financial
Help of Non-Profit. Our
indicators indicate you have a pending
offer of up to $75,000.
Yep. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for taking time out of your day to call me
does any does that work on anyone is there anyone who's like oh what's this guy saying
yeah i don't know yeah okay so so tell me what the setting is here you're playing a video from something like that's new on
the iphone and then you guys are talking about it yeah so i try yeah so i try to like find just
like trending headlines or news stories so this is when that new apple vision pro thing just came
out oh yes yes yeah and so we were just we were just talking about it we're just bringing it down
and we just give our takes on you know all kinds of different things what we think about it something
like that and so then we'll cover a topic for like three, four minutes, maybe five minutes, and then we'll move on to something else.
How did you meet Wes?
He's in Hollister, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's in, yeah, Gilroy.
Gilroy.
Hollister, Hollister, Gilroy, yeah.
I met him at like the regionals, like 2017, 18 or something.
And I was like, I was just a fan of them. So I was like, Hey man,
I was like big fan of you.
I made it crazy behind the scenes with him in it. Oh yeah.
A crazy one at the Del Mar regional. Crazy.
I think it's called and then there were seven or then there were five.
It's intense. Is that, is that how he popped on your radar?
I think so. Yeah. yeah yeah do you know what
i mean it was the year that they i think they announced him as the winner or someone else is
the winner and then at the last minute they switched him out and he either made it or didn't
make it i can't remember i don't recall that no okay it was that year though okay okay okay yeah
but i was at the i was at the uh i was at the regional that just went and said i just started
talking to him and then he just wanted to know my name and i told him i'm like dude do you know what fluffy duck is and he's like oh shit i follow that so i'm like oh cool dude that just happened and said, I just started talking to him and then he just wanted to know my name. And I told him,
I'm like,
dude,
do you know what fluffy duck is?
And he's like,
Oh shit.
I follow that.
So I'm like,
Oh cool,
dude,
that's me.
And so then he kind of nerded out a little bit and then we just kind of
stayed in touch just off and on from there.
And so,
uh,
I just reached out to one of the best coaches alive on the planet.
I don't say that loosely.
I've never heard one.
Everyone gushes over him,
but my mom thinks he's fucking like made of gold.
Yeah.
And he's just like a, I feel like he's just like a pure heart.
Just a genuinely nice, kind person.
Yeah.
Just a good, just a good sweet soul.
I think there's a bunch of dudes in the chat here who are in a father's group with him.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah.
He seems like, he definitely seems like that, like that type.
Josh, tell my boy Josh Devane I said hi.
I don't know who that is.
No, damn it.
I don't.
Should I?
Nice try, pool boy, getting in here, acting like you're somebody.
Should I try to think?
Oh, that's Wad Zombie right there.
That's Nick.
He says my audio is shit. Oh, I didn't even know that. right there that's nick he says my audio is shit oh
i didn't know that yeah that's nick right there in the flesh
okay that's some soup is that are you gonna keep pushing that show are you gonna keep doing that
i like i like doing that yeah like once maybe like once a month i'm still like i'm still trying
to feel about cross i'm still trying to feel out like i'm still trying to figure out my youtube
i don't already know yeah i'm still kind of like in the middle because i do love podcasting but man i can never find i feel like
i have a hard time getting good like audio video like it's always just jinky sometimes it's just
like hit and miss like 50 50 and i know a lot of you are for your guests for i guess for my guest
so if i bring somebody on and like there's like there's like just enough a delay a lot of the times where like throws off
timing or you know, like a word skips out, you know, it's just like
It's frustrating because I tried somebody that tried I haven't I haven't tried
Stream yard yet, but I've tried to restream. I've tried zoom right now. I'm using
Riverside oh, yeah, I think we went from zoom to riverside to stream yard yeah and um yeah it
just depends like there's i mean if you go through and listen to some of the shows i'm like i don't
blame people for not listening sometimes because the audio on on my guests in so bad sometimes i
try my best to like enhance it and stuff but it's like so i'm trying to think like do i want to keep
doing this because it's so inconsistent like that aaron crassel guy i had on his his stuff was kind of
choppy every now and then and it just i don't know just when it makes for when you're trying
to listen to it i i don't blame people if they tune out because like i said it kind of it's a
little too skippy um anyway to say all that because i'm trying to figure out what to what i want to
keep doing what i'm going to keep pushing towards because ideally i'd love to be in the same room you know as a as a person but it's kind of
it's very hard to do hard to do that why do you want to do that uh be in the same room yeah i feel
like you it to me it seems like well here a lot of the podcasts that i that i really enjoy almost
all of them they're they're in the same room with their guests.
Um,
and I feel like you get like a better,
I don't know,
you kind of read flow off the body language a little bit more.
You get the chemistry a little better.
There's no,
um,
like a better rapport.
Yeah,
I think so.
Maybe a little bit.
Um,
but I think,
like,
I think I feel our,
our stream right now is like amazing.
Like,
cause I don't feel like there's any delay.
I feel like you're,
the audio is good too. If I'm, I listened to your podcast yesterday with jason ackerman
and the audio was like it felt like you guys were like far away oh yeah but yeah yeah so stuff like
that you know and like i i think there's so much competition out there there's so many podcasts
where like i don't want to give anybody any kind of reason to not listen so um i i i'm gonna make
this so that it's awesome and that i'm proud to have people in here but part of me is like
tripping because like i don't want to spend any time with the people when the show's over
that's like but i'm gonna i'm very very close i've been threatening for like six months but
now my whole entryway of my house is like starting to fill with gear and new mics and
desks and i'm slowly pulling in
all the shit and cables and i'm gonna have someone come over and we're gonna not do the podcast for
two days and i think we're gonna build out this entire room the problem is is that then what if
you come over josh and we do a podcast here and then it's like over and like you want to like
have lunch with me or something you know what i mean and i'm like uh get the fuck out of my house yeah like
dude um yeah no that's tricky that's true i need i want to go spend time with my kids but i had
hillar here and we had two of my best podcasts ever and it was live and like i don't even know
what happened to him when the show was over i think he just slithered back into the into um
one of the rooms and started editing. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
How do you feel like your podcasts go when you're... Because I know Dave has been there.
When Dave's on Zoom or
restreaming or if Dave's...
It's always weird around Dave. Dave's weird.
He's awkward.
That's always weird. That doesn't matter.
I would much rather him not be here.
He insists on being here.
I know he does.
It's like, fuck, dude like i'm not joking i'll go to his house for fucking dinner and we will not
talk to each other it's him me his wife yeah his two daughters my three boys and my wife and my
i'll hang out with his wife or i'll hang out with the kids in the yard and and he'll just be like around but like we won't talk and then i'll talk to him the whole
way i'm driving over there and then i'll be there for two hours and then the whole way driving home
i would not have guessed that yeah i would not again i've only i've only talked to him like
very in passing but yeah he uh just seen him on interviews and stuff he seems he seems
unique he's very unique yeah he's he's definitely on the uh on the spectrum yeah great dude i love
him he's great i would embarrassing to say that a dude on the spectrum is my mentor but he's taught
me a lot about values and integrity and honesty but and i love talking to them on the phone.
I get annoyed when I can't get in touch with them.
But in person, it's just fucking weird.
It's just weird.
I feel like a creepo because sometimes I'll go to
Pismo or something.
Whatever way it is.
Going by the ranch or whatever.
On the way back home.
Like you stare?
I take that little side road.
Oh, shit. You do and you peep. Wow.
Yeah, that's awesome. You peep
the ranch. Wow. Holy
shit, dude. I'm a fucking creepo.
I'm a fucking creep.
I'm going to go extra slow just to see if
maybe Dave's going to come out.
Hey,
you know you can go on
a website.
I don't know the website.
And you can actually book an appointment with him.
Oh shit, I didn't know that.
And you can work out there.
So I was up there just a few weeks ago
and a dude
like some fucking butt white
fucking European dude
showed up with his chick.
You knowan dudes are
just like different than us so european dudes are so trippy i wonder if they think we're trippy
but anyway he shows up he's all smiley and shit and just giant euro dude and all his clothes are
a little too tight and fucking got some like shoes on that shouldn't have been released to market. And he fucking is there.
He's made an appointment to work out with Dave.
And so then Hiller gets naked and starts working out with the dude too.
Oh, okay.
Okay, I've heard some of this, yeah.
And you should do that.
If you do that ever, if you make an appointment to go work out there,
tell me, and I'll come film it for you.
So you could have –
I always get super weird.
Yeah, you could have content. Yeah dave's better with the more people believe it or not that's the part
that's like makes him not autistic like oh interesting yeah he's great he's great if if
like we have a chaperone maybe maybe we're just gay and we're like when we're alone it's like
two snowy snakes that are gonna coil or something but if there's like four or five other dudes
around everything's cool between me and him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He seems like he doesn't want to like,
it doesn't seem like a big small talk kind of guy.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Go.
Hey,
how's it going?
How was your breakfast?
No.
Out of my face.
The only small talk he ever makes me is I hate it that that person made
small talk with me.
That's why Bill Henninger get along so good have you met bill henninger oh no i've never
actually have i never talked oh same cut from the same cloth just different ends of the quilt
of just i can see that just like we don't talk uh-huh well uh bill's wife seems pretty
she does all the talking i'm sure she's yeah yeah yeah she probably doesn't want to make
small talk either but she's cool as shit though she's like yeah she's a show she's a showman or show woman or
whatever you want whatever is appropriate the first time i went to the by dave's ranch i like
i just drove i'm like oh i had a i think this is where the ranch is i was like doing the google
maps up this is probably like ah man this has got to be like 2017 or something like that and i didn't know they still like did
stuff there like i had no idea and so i i totally parked right where like the pull-up bars are at
you're like you didn't get shot now that i know yeah i know i'm not gonna ever do that shit again
well not only that then i started walking around the whole thing and i'm looking at the you know
the freaking uh you know the little ball thing they had the had the workouts on it yeah damn
that's still here that's awesome then i go inside the effing gym the you know the little ball thing. They had the, had the workouts on it. Yeah. Damn, that's still here. That's awesome.
Then I go inside the effing gym,
the,
you know,
the shed thing.
Yeah.
I'm like,
there's still all kinds of stuff in here.
Like what's going on?
And I'm like,
I go back out to my wife.
I'm like,
there's like all kinds of like CrossFit stuff in here.
I'm like,
I don't know what's going on.
And then we hung out there for like a long time.
And then,
uh,
Scott in the car and left.
I was just like,
you never saw him or Kenny.
Kenny's his brother. Nope. Never saw saw anyone and there's dogs there too i mean i was probably
there for like 45 minutes just wow hey that's like those guys who swam onto epstein island
same thing exact same thing yep uh yeah but that was yeah i'm, but now that I know, I'm like, yeah, that guy's got lucky as shit.
Poolboy says his penis accidentally bumped the keyboard.
He's saying, Josh, tell my boy Joe Devaney.
Oh, Joe.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's our – okay, my bad, my bad.
Yeah, that's the –
I said hi.
That's our other cross.
So the gentleman who has his spine injury, him and Joe,
pretty much run the gym.
They run the gym.
They're the two main coaches there.
Yeah.
Will do, sir.
Will do.
He's probably watching.
Joe's probably watching.
I told him I was going to hop on here.
Wad zombie.
Sebon used to have audio issues with Riverside.
I don't remember that, but he's probably telling the truth.
Would you say you overall have pretty good success with StreamYard, with your other guests and stuff? I don't go back and but he's probably telling the truth. Would you say you overall have pretty good success with the streamer with your other guests and stuff?
I don't go back and watch any of the shows, but no one in the comments complains.
And these assholes will fucking pound me if my shit's off.
So like Katie's the gregarious one.
Yeah.
I really like Katie like a lot, a lot.
I get like more should like someone else's
wife what say that again i said i get a little chap ass when i ask guests like plenty ahead of
time kiki guys mind being like on your computer and also like at least headphones you know so
it cuts out like the uh the background noise nope then they hop on with their freaking iphones that's
not connected to wi-fi and i I'm like... Let's go.
Let me play this
real quick and then I want to...
Maybe we should go and judge your guests.
Who is the worst guest ever?
Alright, I'm down.
God, this is a
crazy filter.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, poor, poor
Foussier.
Oh.
Who's that?
Oh, it's Ariel Lewin.
Oh, poor Ariel. You did her dirty.
Couldn't you have just taken the filter
off of her?
Oh, man.
She's an absolute sweetheart.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
What is that?
Oh, he almost looks normal.
Nick Matthew almost looks better.
Yeah.
Wow.
Oh, no.
The most beautiful head in CrossFit.
That's Shadburn.
You did it to her.
Oh, yeah.
I got him.
Burning hell.
Oh, dude.
Sacrilege.
Is that China Cho?
China Cho.
Do it or dirty, man.
You didn't even use the Asian one on her.
Oh, is that Bailey Rayl?
Yeah, got her.
You straight turned a hot chick into an ugly chick.
It was such a perfect time to use that video.
We're all just walking back, breathing heavy.
It was so perfect.
Is that your footage? Yeah, I my phone my phone with a snapchat filter
and so when you're gonna make that do you know ahead of time you're like okay i'm gonna get these
uh yep because i did it last year at the games with uh a different filter and like that that
stuff like blew up those videos blew up. I was like, oh.
I'll probably do it again this year with the new filter at the games because those are just...
It's relatively easy to make and
people love it.
And then even
a lot of them
in the videos, they'll message me and stuff.
I'm like, oh, can you send this to me? I want to repost it.
That's cool.
It's another way to like good networking
i'm going back to the to the home page oh cool you want me to tell you the worst guest is
great yeah let's um okay start bashing people who are who are generous enough to come on the podcast
it doesn't have it doesn't even have to be uh worse because they they were asked it was just
like yeah like who like who you're like oh oh, my God, the audio is pointless.
How was Lauren Khalil?
Hers was beautiful.
Hers was perfect.
She got the gear.
She's a pro.
That's a long podcast you did with her.
You guys must have been hitting it off.
Oh, man, we were vibing.
Yeah, we were totally vibing.
Hour and 40 or something.
Yeah, she was super rad.
Yeah, we were vibing big time.
Lazar Dukic, absolute ass quality. Europe. Yeah, she was super rad. Yeah, we were vibing big time. Lazar Dukic.
Absolute ass quality.
Europe?
They don't even have real internet there. I was like,
what kind of AOL shit are you using, dude?
Hey, the country
he's in, probably
they probably ration energy.
You know what I mean? It's like
South Africa. Whatever country he's in probably turns off its power
12 hours a day.
You're probably right.
Sam Quant and Adler.
Theirs is not good either.
Adler, it's just because he doesn't speak.
He doesn't have mastery over the language.
The actual audio is fine.
That was really what you just did there, Josh.
That's borderline racist, yeah.
Hey, tell me about Samuel Quant. I i want to have quant i've never i've said less than
a hundred words to quant in my life uh i think it was his rookie year but i kind of want to have him
on i want to know his story what what did you learn about him i thought he was great dude i
like i liked him a lot he's uh he's kind of quiet but then like um he's totally like
but he's also kind of fun at the same time he's just kind of he doesn't elaborate too much a
little short short uh short answers but he's kind of game to like you know be funny and have fun and
stuff so um i can't think of anything that i learned what about when you say he's quiet how
would you rank him like compared to colton mertonens like he's he's boy is he boisterous compared to colton because i think
colton's like borderline mute yeah uh maybe a little bit yeah no i think i think a little bit
more than colton a little bit i've never i've never personally i've seen him on your podcast
but yeah i've never talked to him um but yeah i think if i had to compare the two sam sam's a
little more willing to share.
But not by much, though.
I think he's more on the quiet side.
We're getting ready to schedule Colton, and I just sent him a big old bag of cocaine to administer before the show.
Fuck, I would love nothing more to see that.
Adam Neiffer, a great guest.
Super great guest. Super great guest. Although I had him on a show with a bunch of other people
to talk game stuff, and he didn't elbow.
He needed to elbow his way in a little more.
He's too nice.
Yeah, he seems like that.
Marcus Philly.
That guy's like business genius, too.
He's got great stuff.
I love talking to him.
Very knowledgeable about
all kinds of like stuff he got rich which i did and crushing on the follower on the instagram game
too big time tom you had tommy marquez on yeah yeah that was that that was like so that is you
can see like three years ago but that was like a while back i did like uh those are just quick
little um kind of would you rather type questions.
I'd ask like my guests like 15 or 20 rapid fire questions.
And then, yeah, it was fun.
It was just like, you know, just messing with them.
Yeah, Matt Frazier right there.
I introduced Matt Frazier as the 2014 and 2015 second place CrossFit Games.
Oh, shit. How did he like that?
He didn't like it. He did not like it.
He did not think it was funny. I thought it was hilarious.
Because I said, well, listen.
Listen, dude. Everybody knows you're the man.
I don't need to tell everybody.
My guest today
in 2014,
he was the second fittest man
on Earth. In 2015,
he was the second fittest man on Earth. In 2015, he was the second fittest man on Earth.
Oh, shit!
Literally my first time talking to this guy.
Literally my first time talking to this guy.
Holy shit! Look at him right there.
Look at him right there. He's like, I'm gonna find this
motherfucker. I'm gonna kill him. He ended up
being super chill, by the way. He was super cool.
Hey, he looks really good
right there i know he does look different nowadays huh he looks so good right there he almost looks
like a um like a uh like a rapper or a mafia boss or something god he looks good there he's gonna
kill me and the the uh the spin on this like on my other episodes i do these long intros of like
i try to find something funny in their backstories.
And like, so it's like a long intro.
So this one, I just did the short little, I just totally cut second place twice.
And then I went right into, right into this is Matt Frazier.
Today is Matt Frazier.
What's up, buddy?
How you doing?
Good.
You?
Yeah.
Good, man.
Not having it.
What's about to happen to you?
Probably not.
No.
Did you ever course correct?
Like, did you ever go math one five times?
Negative, sir.
Negative.
Shit.
We know he's a man.
We don't need to tell him how great he is.
I know he's a man.
But no, throughout that show, I think we got pretty familiar.
And we've chatted a few times since then, too.
I would say I have a good relationship with him.
I mean, stuff like, I wouldn't say we're like buddies, but yeah, he's a good dude.
I like him.
Let me say something extremely controversial.
Oh, yeah.
Ready?
Mm-hmm.
Brooke Entz is natural as shit.
That is pure genetic freakazoid.
Yeah, I actually always thought that.
I didn't think she was, I didn't think she was like, huh.
Well, watch, the comments are going to light up. People are going to be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at, you thought that. I didn't think she was. I didn't think she was like, well, watch the comments are going to light up.
People are going to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at you.
Love that.
Look at Barry McCockner.
Josh is the man.
I know that was fucking wild.
What we just saw.
That was crazy.
He was not.
He was done.
Because he was like, because Sammy was right next to him.
He's like, look at her and Sammy's like this fucking guy.
Look at look at look at just Hiller just shows up out of nowhere.
Like just just just. Hey hey you know right there he was back squatting 615 for five and he just threw the bar down and ran over to his phone and just wrote wrong god you're such a douche
don't say hi to him jake jake chapman shout No, her boobs are not natural.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe not.
But I mean like...
And her face is not natural.
But her body is natural.
You guys shut it.
I was talking about like...
I didn't think she was like juicing or anything like that.
I never thought...
No, she's not.
She's not.
She's not juicing.
I like Brooke.
I thought she was super cool i guess i like her too
today you may have seen her in such movies as wonder woman or justice league or maybe you know
her from her podcast between the reps she has her own apparel i feel like i could smell her when i
see her she does look like she smells good yeah she does look like she smells good. Yeah, she does look like she smells good.
She's so skinny there, her face.
Yeah.
Your face is skinny there.
Were you and Brooke doing a bunch of meth before we fell up to this?
Of course, gotta get screen ready.
She's responsible for one of my
personal favorite CrossFit Games moments
for 2015. God god i love your
setup look how far you've come you were just so fucking excited that you got a banner with
fluffy duck that you just hung it over some other shit on the wall that's like me for sure dude
for sure do you see like my rings and stuff pulling through yeah i think this was on skype
by the way back in the day this is on Skype. She had the sun in her eyes,
borrowed her judge's sunglasses,
and proceeded to clean and jerk 242 pounds
like a badass.
And Brooke Hedges is your new event leader
at 242.
Today we're getting to know
Brooke Hedges. Hey, Brooke, how we going?
I'm good. How are you?
Awesome. I'm doing pretty well.
Are you ready for what's about to happen to you?
Yes.
Last movie or TV show.
I got slapped around a little bit.
Uh-oh.
I said something about her.
Ah.
Like six months ago.
Uh-oh.
I can't even remember what.
But I knew when I said it, i shouldn't have said it yeah yeah
she sent me a text it was it was it was it was actually a really nice text telling me i'm a
piece of shit it was kind of i was actually thoroughly impressed by the um
that's funny that's not easy to do to just call someone and just fucking box him up but then like
like i didn't i wasn't like i didn't i couldn't even get defensive i just took the turtle position
and just let her fucking stomp me yep yep uh i love me some velner velner's a great interview
oh my god gold i almost feel guilty that it's been so long since i've had him on he's gold
yeah he's he's money like you can almost like just ask one question he'll just go on a rant
you had this you had this you had another the mean guy on i did have the mean guy on i love john
i have a good version i don't have a good relationship with that guy yeah he's good dude
yeah he's a good dude
but you guys aren't buddies no oh what no this is new information are you joking
no yeah i'm definitely kidding yeah i don't have any uh i wouldn't say i have any
i i can't think of why i don't like him so that's how that's how silly it is that i don't like him
like it's not like he he took my parking spot. I just don't have that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got nothing.
I got you.
I got nothing.
But I know somewhere.
I'm just.
Yeah.
Someone help me.
Can someone help me?
Josh has.
John has anal beads.
I don't mind anal beads.
I mean, i don't use
them but that's fine um yeah seve should have woolly on for an affiliate series i'm desperate
i've gone to the comments that's awesome oh con porter con porter is one of my favorite one of my
more favorite interviews yeah yeah did you get deep with him no it was pretty no it was pretty service level just silly shenanigans
he want he he wants to go he wants to go to the depths yeah it seemed like yeah he kind of seemed
like a spiritual dude actually very similar like yourself. Okay. Did you guys go deep? We did.
We did.
He wants to take the nice guy route to the depths, and I'm kind of past that.
Not past that, as in above it or below it.
And I want to take more of the experiential or intellectual route there.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, he's like, love everyone and appreciate and love everyone.
And then I'm like, I don't know about pedophiles.
I don't know about like, you know what I mean?
Like, I like act like, I don't know.
Like, but I used to be him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like people are like, the game should be about safety yeah yeah it's like people are like the game should be
about safety first i'm like safety first how about like 25th i agree it should be in there
but not first like don't lie yeah no do you know what i mean it's like right right right
i'm happy that matt and velner fell off the net like it adds validity to us oh yeah i didn't want
what happened to jason ogar to happen but like oh yeah
right right one in 15 years like we'll take it right yeah for sure no i like that there's i like
that they're doing like daring or however you want to put like scary stuff but like not the
everyday crossword would try to do you know or like would not be good at it like that's good
yeah i love i love that course dude that that year that obstacle course thing I thought that was a great
event
wads on me it feels like a series of
misunderstandings some of it involving Spiegel no here's the thing
I'll tell you what it is
I just remembered
I can't remember if it was Elijah Muhammad
or Noah or someone won some money
and they donated it to a charity
and I wrote in the fucking comments hey don't
donate it to some fucking woke charity ah right and the woke charities are the ones that like um cops have killed police
and so defund the police and the next thing you know um uh deaths have gone up 82 percent
under the guise of some bullshit of trying to help people like that's the whole woke thing
let everyone be free next thing you know your kid's
getting diddled by the principal and being told he can fucking be any gender he wants and it's like
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa he's fucking seven yeah he can't be and he can't be he can't even he
shouldn't be introduced to the word gender he should be like uh learning about soccer balls
and and watching how crayons are made on on uh know what I mean? Like, you know, or how jelly beans are made.
Like that, like, and so he jumped in on, and I fucking went to war, like, on that thread.
Like, people tried to call me a racist and shit like that.
The racist tried to call me a racist.
That's always fun.
And I fucking went to war on there.
And I fucking was just beating people's asses.
Like, in a good way.
You know what i mean and then i can't remember who it is but someone actually did the fucking wokest thing you
can do they said hey i'm gonna look at the people who liked your comments oh god to basically pile
and that's like they're trying to threaten right by saying oh i'm piling you like i saw you in
hitler's car yeah and then i think at that point I was like,
I'm going to like, let's war.
Yeah.
Now, okay.
You know what I mean?
Like I got my squirt guns and my rubber band shooters
and I'm like, I'm red.
Yeah.
And the fact that the take is.
I think that's how it happened.
I got, you got me all riled up.
I love it.
Your take of we shouldn't be shoving gender down an 8-year-old's throat is a hot take.
It's mind-blowing to me.
It's like, yeah, how about we just don't talk about any kind of sex in any shape or form to 8-year-olds?
And even not UFOs, not Sasquatch.
They don't get to watch Jaws.
No Freddy Krueger.
It's not because I'm homophobic or trans i just i'm
not interested in in super charging my kids fucking imagination with yeah with crazy shit
right now yeah for sure like he needs to learn how to fucking tie his shoe and whistle and burp
blink with one eye flare his nostrils wipe, wipe his own ass. Mm-hmm.
Some...
Yeah.
And apparently that's a hot take.
Can you imagine?
They're trying to fucking...
The kid's trying to figure out what gender he is,
but he still can't fucking get all the poop off his underwear?
So fucking dumb.
Yeah.
So fucking dumb.
Yeah.
I hate all that stuff.
I barely understand that this is a gag name.
Dixie Normus. Dixie Normus.
Dixie Normus.
I think I've seen some of his videos.
Nick has a filing cabinet full of files with each CrossFit bead.
Nick did pull that pretty fast.
That's awesome.
Well done.
Nick did pull that pretty fast That's awesome Well done
Well done Mr. Schweitzer
Okay where are we
Miranda Alcrez also I believe is natural
Yeah I think so too
You had Arm and Hammer on
Oh dude yeah
Him I would say he's a friend
He's like a good friend of mine we talk a lot
Still Oh tell me what's going on with him what happened to him uh he had kids and then
he's like fuck this CrossFit shit I'm doing pretty much yeah yeah he uh I think he if I recall right
he made I think he made some type of claim against CrossFit and how they were doing something he he
was he was being very critical of them and And I think they blocked him, and then they removed his –
I think this was close to the games or the regional.
I don't know.
It was some event, and they revoked his pass to go behind.
What year is that?
Was that recently?
Pretty recent.
I'm going to say like three – well, three years ago, I'm going to say, roughly.
After I was – so around when I was fired.
Yep, I think so, around that time.
They just cleaned house on all their Armenianmenian people correct which i'm for i don't i don't hate armen hammer i don't
i don't have any i don't hate armen hammer i got nothing negative to say about i love i love me
some armen hammer we're like just water we're just like we're just i have no i have no um
i have no i have no i don't think i i don't think i have no beef unless someone wants to remind me
I've hung out with him a little bit
I've been very nice to him
I think when I've seen him
I've hugged him
Yeah if I recall right on his
podcast podcast I think he always talked
fondly of you I don't have any recollection
of him saying good stuff about you
if I remember right
And if I did have anything negative to say about him i probably would not to be honest with you yeah
because he's armenian i just wouldn't i i can't think of anything by the way but i probably would
not um but then he started so then he had a kid and then he started doing like a kind of like a
father podcast kind of thing he was interviewing uh crossfitters who were also dads and i think he did a few of those and then i think he um i think he just got busy with being a dad
and so he just hasn't hasn't been making content for a while um so yeah i wanted i've wanted to
hate him because he's been negative towards dave but i suppressed it. I didn't. Okay. Usually if someone's mean
towards Dave, I'll just fucking come out
guns blazing, showing pictures
of your mom sucking dick or something.
But I didn't. I showed restraint with Arm
and Hammer. That's good.
Yeah, he was just at the
West Regionals.
I just saw him there. He was there with his family,
with his wife and kiddo. Oh, just recently. Yeah, just a few weeks ago or whatever. Yeah I just saw him there. He was there with his family, with his wife and kiddo.
Oh, just recently?
Yeah, a few weeks ago or whatever.
He was just there. I wonder if he's going to get back in the game. I don't know.
I enjoyed his stuff. I liked it.
I was a fan of the Wodcast podcast. I liked that too.
I thought that was cool. I didn't like those other
dudes who were on his podcast.
It was Eddie Ift, right? No, not him.
The other dude when they would sit at the table. The hairy dude. Oh, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. like those other dudes who were on his podcast it was eddie eddie if right no not him the other
dudes when they would sit at the table the the hairy oh oh yeah like that interesting yeah yeah
but who's uh who's the bald guy too i forgot his name but i like i like him you always have the
sisu the sisu stuff all the time um i wouldn't say i disliked him i just didn't like him i thought
that they brought him down into the gutter the uh yeah like his newer kind of version of a podcast that he did yeah it was i didn't think it was as good as
like his podcast podcast one uh scott mcgee i i like ed i like eddie if i don't i wouldn't say
i dislike him but i feel like sometimes he'd be you just like ramble too much during the podcast
it always take it off of like topic of what they were talking about um like i feel like armin and scott were trying to like cover a topic or
try to talk about something and eddie would come in with some jackass comment and then just totally
throw it off um uh it was the funny that show was uh with the hairy guys was terrible. Yeah, I forgot what it was called. Oh, um,
you had Christmas Abbott on.
Yeah, she's cool.
Do you subscribe to her? I heard she has an OnlyFans now.
Oh, does she? Shit, no, I do not.
Uh, she...
Like, legit.
Like, legit.
I haven't seen it.
But, like, I heard it's, like,
legit OnlyFans. Like, she's taking it.
Oh, fudge. Okay.
Yeah, she's a smoke show uh she i know she followed she's been following my page like a super long
time and she would she would comment a lot on my stuff and so if i was like hey do you want to
do you want to come on my show she's like sure so i think she was kind of
i think she was kind of a fan fan of stuff. That's how I just DM'd her.
Not only full nude, I've heard she's taken it.
Dang, really?
Or given it.
Yeah.
Why is she?
I think.
She's married.
So I scheduled Christmas to have Christmas Abbott on.
I really want to have her on.
I've hung out with her a bunch.
I really like her.
Oh, super cool. Yeah, I've partied with her a bunch. I really like her. Oh, I've super cool.
Yeah.
I've partied with her a bunch.
I,
I,
she's cool as shit.
She's cool.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
But,
and then I watched some reality show she was on to prepare for the podcast.
And I watched the whole season.
I wanted to fucking kill myself.
It was the same with when I had Luke Parker on,
I watched that whole real show.
I thought that the people who watch this shit,
like in our,
like I had to watch it. I thought that the people who watch this shit, like in our, like I had to watch it.
I thought you're,
you're grosser than the people who fucking have season passes to Disneyland.
Like you,
you hate yourself.
It's the scummiest of the scummy people.
What was that show?
Luke Parker was on.
I don't know that one,
but I know she was on big brother.
Yeah.
It was so fucking gross.
He was on big brother too.
That's yeah.
I hate.
No,
I don't know what he was on.
He was on one where there's 20 dudes trying to fuck one chick.
Well, they are fucking the same chick.
Bachelorette?
Bachelor or something like that?
Yes.
Okay, yeah.
And it's so below.
It's so below.
Both those shows were so below me.
I didn't even know there was anything below me.
Below me.
They were so below me.
Like, it was like, oh, I i'm i'm i there really are levels to
this shit i i'm not this is pond scum and i'm like i'm surface scum creature i don't go below
the surface like that i'm like there's so much amazing there's so many amazing shows and movies
out there the fact that you want to like take time out of your day to devote towards watching
that horse manure they're so mean to each other. They're so mean to each other. The people are so mean to
each other. Yeah, it's just like arguing.
All it is is arguing all the time. It's so
frustrating to watch.
They're super popular, though.
If you go on those shows, man, you're going to get
your followers will go up. Your Instagram followers
will go up. Can't anyone
just type in Christmas Abbott
porn and then
it'll be in somehow some Reddit thread or something pop up.
I just don't want to.
Yeah, I didn't know she said.
Yeah, I know she's recently married.
I want to say like for six months ish.
Maybe something like that.
I'm reading text messages.
Beautiful.
Someone's asked me about kids.
I'm trying to.
OK.
And then and then Jessica jessica griffith griffith i really like her too the fittest nurse in the world super cool she got
in trouble for using rap vernacular rap i know she's not black like me or maybe she is. Maybe. Never know. It's a great book, by the way.
Black Like Me.
I'll say it's lousy.
The author died.
Oh, dang.
Of cancer from dying himself black.
True story.
Can you imagine doing so much research?
Yeah, he wanted to be black, died himself black, and he fucking died.
Oh, wow.
Holy Moses.
Holy Moses.
Go ahead.
Are you excited that Dave's back?
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
For sure.
Kind of nervous.
For him.
Kind of nervous for him.
Like your friend's about to do a backflip at like on a motorcycle in front of a big crowd you know what i mean like i'm like oh like i've seen you do it
a bunch but like uh it's been a minute a little rusty little rusty yeah i don't know and i don't know what he's
what do you think are you happy he's back oh yeah i mean i've always been a big fan of him
and it's uh i love that he was kind of like a villain because i feel like man it's too it's
there's a little too much kumbaya in crossfit i like that there's a little bit of like
i wish there's a little more villain sometimes iaya in CrossFit. I like that there's a little bit of like, I wish there was a little more villains sometimes.
I feel like if you're at all like a villain or you say something,
most people like the CrossFit community doesn't like that at all.
I think they overall, they want everybody to be nice, be nice to everybody.
But like, I love me some Conor McGregor.
I mean, I would love if there was like something like that in CrossFit.
That'd be amazing.
Conor McGregor really does have a little bit of like scumbag
in him the weird part about Dave is
Dave is like flies
and maggots at worst and it's like
hey dude if we didn't have those there would be carcasses
everywhere like flies and maggots are not
villains we just fucking don't want to be around
it but like it's
there's no villain in it and that's
the kind of the weird yeah but like it's there's no villain in it and that's the kind of the weird
thing about dave it's like yeah it's like um um like when i get annoyed by people like i order i
walk into a place and the kid behind the counter's like what kind of pizza you want or maybe worse
doesn't say anything yeah but he didn't do anything to me i just want to hey how are you
our special today's pepperoni it's just fresh out of the oven two minutes ago.
Do you want that?
Like, I just want it like, that's what I want.
Yeah, I guess.
But Dave, it's not like you walk in there and he throws the pizza at you.
Yeah.
That would be straight villain.
Yeah.
No, touche.
Bad choice of words.
But I feel like.
No, no, but everyone, that wasn't a dig at you.
Everyone's just keep saying that.
And it's like, dude, he's just he's just different.
He's just.
Yeah.
Because, yeah, if you do a breakdown, there's nothing he's done.
It's like, oh, what a dick.
Like he's never I don't really feel like he's been like an a-hole kind of thing.
He's just like, you know, he's just very doesn't sugarcoat anything.
It's very straight to the point.
And that that just that alone can rub people the wrong way.
Yeah.
What's like Olivia says after your feelings.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
And he doesn't care like he
doesn't i think you're you said it too it's like he doesn't he doesn't give a shit if you're
matt frazier or like somebody else like you're gonna get treated exactly the same and hit to him
like he doesn't uh and uh yeah you got i think you gotta you gotta at least admit at minimum
respect that i mean i love that i love that he's like that and so uh i think you said it too like
the space is missing somebody who's
like i'm gonna be an alpha and gonna be like taking charge because that's you need you need
that in almost any any type of business but um yeah if you just have a bunch of bunch of yes men
or a bunch of nobody's nobody's really taking charge that's and that's where that's why we're
at where they're at and so um are you the alpha in your relationship with your wife? Good question.
Honestly, I feel very like it's pretty balanced.
I don't really think I don't really think there is like a I wouldn't say I'm alpha.
I think it's pretty balanced.
I think we're pretty good at like respecting each other's decisions and being submissive
when we think it's the right decision. I think we're pretty
level-headed. At least I'd like to think so. We're pretty level-headed
people. We don't really
try to dominate or be like an alpha.
What about this? When
I'm around
and I'm parenting,
I'm parenting
your support. When dad's around, dad parents. I parent. Parenting? I'm parenting.
Your support.
When dad's around, dad parents.
I parent.
Oh, that's interesting.
You know what I mean?
So, just to give you a real superficial example.
We're all going to play tennis.
Boys, put on clean underwear.
Make sure you have socks and your tennis shoes are in the car and get in the car and do that now and i go and then walk and then in a different voice hey baby
are you cool with leaving in five minutes she's like yeah i said okay i'm gonna go uh warm the
car up lower the windows and and get the boys and she's like okay so then i um i you know i
check the water bottles fill all that shit up make sure the ball machine's charged throw it
in the back of the car and i go back and the boys aren't in the car and i go in and fucking obby's doing a fucking magic show in
the bedroom for him you're fucking holding a rope and like showing that like it doesn't bend
hey fuck nuts get the fuck in the car dude mom and i don't wait for you you've had you guys been
three hours like no one's talked to you now get in the car, dude. Mom and I don't wait for you. You guys have been three hours.
No one's talked to you.
Now get in the car.
Don't make me say it again.
Like my wife, like I don't need my wife coming over, interrupting, helping, nothing.
I'm doing, I'm parenting.
I'm parenting.
I'm in the parenting control.
I don't need her coming and being like, oh, I asked them to come back in here and make sure they picked up their room.
Or, oh, I said they could do one more magic trick.
Like I don't need – like I'm fucking parenting right now.
Whisper that in my ear.
Text it to me later.
I don't need like – I'm fucking – and usually if I'm around, I am parenting.
I'm in charge of the whole show i'm in charge of when
we stop and get gas i'm in charge of like just like i'm just in charge and i don't the only
thing i want is support like man you're a great dad i don't need i don't need like hey you were
too like afterwards she could stomp on my dick all like last night she stomped on my dick the
kids were gone and she i got a fucking earful of 20 minutes about things i'd been doing wrong like but to get perfect of course correct me constructive
criticism i need you not to do this i need you cool but when i'm around it's like but only for
this reason josh not because i'm trying to dominate not because i'm ego not because i'm
trying to be alpha but because it's best for what's best for the kids. The parents are on the same team and one person
is fucking in control.
I'm not even trying to do it.
It just is.
Are you saying like the
fatherly role or just need one parent
to take control of that?
Or do you think it's more important?
Let's start with this ladder.
Let's start with the ladder. You just need one parent to be in control.
And even if that parent's fucking up, the other parent needs to support them because at the end of the day, the best thing for the kids is to show that the parents are in control.
Because when you're in control, then the kids are free.
Yeah.
They don't have – they have no stresses.
They're like – I know some people have struggled to understand it, but like they're free when you're in control.
The second you're not in control,
they're not free. So for the example you use, I think it's very, I had to keep going back to it.
It's kind of balanced. It's almost like the first parent who says it like, so if like my wife's like,
Hey kid. So if the kids, if mom's like, Hey kids, we're going to leave five minutes, get your shoes
on like this. Right. And boom. So then she'll go and do kind of some of these, she'll start getting
ready. And then like, I'll give them like a minute or two and i'll be like hey what did mom say
like what did mom say stop like so i'll so then i'll support her because she kind of said it first
right and i think yeah yeah yeah okay yeah i agree with that yeah yeah me too okay that's a that's a
good way to be more that's how it is with us too and just to be more um also um clear about what
control means control is the reason
why you need boundaries and control is like hey we're leaving the park in 10 minutes
and then um when 10 minutes comes you take if they don't go you make you you whatever it takes
you move them to the car and why is that because if you don't then and once you set that precedent
if you don't then that next 10 minutes to minutes after that is people wasting their lives, people crying, people begging to stay longer, all of those things.
Like my kids know they never should touch my phone.
So they never waste any of their life asking if they can see my phone and us debating whether it's the right time.
They're free from that.
They're free from ever having to ask for my phone or wine or any of that sounds like a very like matter of fact
yeah like uh if you say i try to be i don't know like i you could come to my house and be like man
sebon talks a good talk he's full of shit but yeah it also depends you know like earlier in the day i
think i have more patience towards the end of the night i have less patience and i'm more more a
little more strict of like,
hey, if I have to ask you again,
I'm going to manhandle you. Your ass is going to go
in the bedroom. Like I said, it's time to go to bed.
In the morning time, it's like, okay,
I have a little more patience with you because
it's a new day. I might tell
you a couple times.
I would say for the most part, we're pretty good at
if we have to repeat ourselves two times,
three times, then it starts to do the countdown. right i'm gonna count to 10 if it is not on
then i'm gonna come to 10 yeah that you cut that in half
one uh christmas abbott uh only fans uh isn't bringing that much of anything do you know what
i think i think she's such a savvy businesswoman i I think she has her own version of OnlyFans and that there's people who actually work for her.
She does.
She does.
She does have that.
Now that you said that, she does.
I forgot what it's called.
And does she take the cock in it?
That's what I heard.
I promise I haven't seen it.
I'm not sure.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I mean, I'm not a kid seeing it but I have not seen it
Have you ever seen any
OnlyFans?
Yeah me neither
You ever seen Tinder?
Nope
Yeah me neither
I've been with my wife for
18 years, 19 years
Before all that shit even
Oh Christmas fans
I wonder if that's true or Just being funny 18 years, 19 years? Before all that shit even... Oh, Christmas fans.
I wonder if that's true or if Hillary's just being funny.
That sounds right.
If it's not, it should be.
That's right on, man.
Yes, I didn't... This stuff came out all after
I was with my lady.
So I have no idea.
No idea about that shenanigans.
I don't know who it was, but someone had an OnlyFans account and Hillary and I were talking about it and he's like, I was with my lady. So I have no idea. No idea about that shenanigans.
I don't know who it was, but someone had an OnlyFans account,
and Hiller and I were talking about it, and he's like,
oh, I can just get that, and it's a tax write-off.
I think it was Hiller or someone else I know who's in the space.
And I was like, oh, shit, that's right.
Damn.
If you have a guest on the show, and you get there,
and I had this chick, Ty Emery, on the show, and she had an OnlyFans. I was like, oh, fuck, I could get her OnlyFans and write that shit off.
Oh, damn. Look at you. fuck, I could get her OnlyFans and write that shit off. Oh damn.
Look at you.
No, I didn't ever saw Ty's.
I would want to.
Do you watch UFC?
Not as much as I used to.
Sometimes. I mean, every now and then I'll catch some fight.
I bet I'm not super knowledgeable
about it.
I love it though. I do think it's awesome. My wife just texted me. I hope I'm not like super knowledgeable about it. I love it though.
I do think it's awesome.
My wife just texted me.
I hope I'm not in trouble.
Oh God.
She's the alpha.
Oh, she can be.
When no one's around.
When no one's around.
Like in public, she knows.
She knows like I'm peacocking.
Like be cool.
But when I get home and it's just us, she will fuck me up.
One thing I pride myself with our marriages when we do argue we don't name call
and I think that's such a huge plus
like we don't
I think our arguments are very constructive
we're not there trying to like
hurt each other like tear each other down
I mean we yell we get into it
but it's not like you effing bitch
like there's none of that
it never ever happens and vice versa she doesn't ever like call there's like no name calling
which i think really no no effing oh i might like say i might say the f word but i'm not like
directing it towards her you know i'm saying i'm like not saying i'm not calling her an eff at
something yeah i might be like what the fuck's going on like you know oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
you would never be like, you fucking fat bitch.
You wouldn't come back for it. You don't come back from that.
You won't come back from that.
That's pretty right.
Plus, like, I –
She'll bring it up for the next – every week for the next 17 years.
Do you remember that time you called me fat?
And you'll be, you're fucked.
You'll wish – you will have to kill yourself and start to get a new life and hope in reincarnation.
That's true.
That's true, yeah.
You might as well just cheat on her at that point.
But I also think
what's that going to do? Because we're trying to solve
a problem here. You did something or I said
something or something was done. There's a problem.
We're trying to fix it. So me calling you names is going
to do nothing
to progress this, come to this, come
to a conclusion. I'll walk by
and just whisper shit in her ear like if the kid's around.
I try to Are you out of your fucking mind? a conclusion. I'll walk by and just whisper shit in her ear like if the kid's around. Yeah.
I try to... Are you out of your fucking mind? You left that fucking back door
open again last night and a skunk came in the house?
I just made that up. But I would whisper
that to her. Shit, yeah.
Yeah. My wife
loves to leave fucking
cans of sparkling water
all throughout the goddamn house.
So many cans of sparkling water. My wife doesn't oh so many so many cans of sparkling water
my wife doesn't do that but i'll do that i'll be like i'll walk by and be like uh i wanted to make
a drink tonight you're fucking letting our kids drink our sparkling water supply i will do yeah
i'll do that she just gives me the stink eye i love you that's good shit will your kids ask you
are you fighting with mom? Sometimes.
Sometimes.
And my kids asked me that yesterday.
I was fucking like, I hadn't even said anything yet.
I was just prepping up a fight, queuing up a fight.
My six-year-old's like, are you mad at mom?
And I look back like, no.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Just go over and give her a big hug and a kiss.
Yeah.
I try to be mindful of that.
I try not to,
cause dude,
my,
my household growing up.
Oh Christ,
buddy.
Family's brawling.
Yeah.
A lot of,
a lot of arguing,
nonstop arguing.
A lot of,
is that why you're in therapy?
Yeah.
I know you said that as a joke,
but yes.
No,
I didn't say it as a joke.
I listened to your podcast with,
okay. With, uh, Oh no. I listened to your podcast with – Oh, okay.
With – oh, no.
I listened to a solo podcast you did where you just talked.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Hey, dude, that's actually – that's some of your best work.
Oh, thanks, man.
Yeah.
Actually, it makes me feel good you said that because I've been thinking about doing more of that.
Okay.
Yeah, like 15 minutes in, you get warmed up, and you're going.
Yeah.
And you're telling some stories and shit, and it's good.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, therapy is – I need a lot of it, buddy.
I need a lot of it.
That's probably why I'm like a strive for attention with my social media.
Plus I'm a middle child.
It doesn't come across like you're striving for attention.
It just comes across like you have balls.
Oh, shit.
Someone just sent me Christmas Sabbaths OnlyFans.
Holy Christ.
Whatever you do, Savon, do not open it.
Too late.
Wow. holy christ whatever you do savon do not open it too late wow i'm just mad that you're not screen sharing
wow i am gonna screen share fuck yeah wow here we go people here we go uh-huh beautiful
um i uh i have to go to the skateboard place but now you know what's funny
the skateboard instructor is like
hey it's time we skate a school campus
I'm like is that legal
and he goes who cares
I was like fuck
three years in
and the skateboard instructor
is going to take us to skate a school
so this is our only fans
but it's called Christmas Abbott
Christmas fans
I love my body
taking fun and playful pics
sharing them with my
favorite most dedicated fans oh
I thought
someone told me that
she was maybe she's not taking it
hmm
wow that's a lot of locks
dude
there's gotta be one in there
there's gotta be one in there where it's getting taken
yeah Hiller
good job Hiller
he knows it he knows the stuff
Christmas fans
it's just 50 bucks Savant hit it
how is that how is that top
even staying on her
magic How is that top even staying on her?
Magic.
Check out my premium tab.
Where is that?
Sweet.
17,000 likes.
Hiller, give us your password so we can log in i wonder if um i wonder if i would do i i i
launched a um uh savant fans a parenting consulting service did you really yeah
fudge yeah dude yeah five hundred dollars an hour do you know how many clients i've had
kind of feel like you just need one.
I do. I just need one.
You're right.
Just need one, dude.
Zero.
I was actually thinking the other day
the stuff I put up
with my kids is like
it's crazy.
It's the best shit out there and yet it's like
there's no
one gives a fuck about kids except pedophiles and like a few a handful of parents that's true
like fuck you send your kids to school no you're you're stuff like your kids skating
are rad dude it's good stuff um hillar says his password so
pool boy has a sorry andrew pool Boy has a – sorry, Andrew.
Pool Boy has a – I can't believe someone will promote this and not Pool Boy.
I would promote the fuck out of Pool Boy.
What are you talking about?
All right.
Do you know a lot about game stuff?
Do you watch game stuff?
Oh, yeah.
I like Die Hard, man.
I love that stuff.
Maybe we could – I have a show that i'm
i just started called the crossfit update show it's gonna be every friday night at 6 30 maybe
i can have you on sometime say yep i'd love i'd love that man that'd be awesome yeah okay and then
and then and then maybe as we get to know each other more i could have you back on we could talk
about therapy and parents fighting did your parents ever end up getting a divorce oh yeah
oh they and i and I was thankful for it.
I was not one of those kids who was like, no, don't get divorced.
I was like, please, hurry up the process.
Did you go with mom or dad?
Mom.
Yeah.
Yeah, mom, yeah.
How old were you?
Let's see.
I was a sophomore in high school.
Oh, shit.
Fucked your high school up. Let me just ask you one one question did everything settle down once they got a divorce
or was there two years of like still like bump bumpiness is this yeah because you can
detach two people who have so much that have kids is like yeah it's a mess it was a mess
i would i would rather my fucking wife fuck the football team than leave me i swear to fucking
god i would don't tell her that i don't want her football team but like i i do not want my life
clip that suza clip that yeah okay i don't know i don't know what that means you said it so i
thought it'd be cool if i say it uh mr josh, thank you for coming on. I seriously appreciate it, man.
I've been a big fan of yours for a while,
so this has been an honor.
Do you have to take a pee?
I do.
It's fairly really bad right now,
but I was trying to play it cool.
Oh, yeah, you position yourself like when I kick you off,
you're about to run for the door.
That's awesome.
I'm going to go right outside the door.
I'm not even making it to the bathroom.
I'm going pee right outside right here, buddy.
Josh, say your last name for me.
Purtle, just like turtle.
Josh Purtle, Fluffy Duck, you da you demand talk to you soon buh-bye i like that i let him go pee
um
all right i want to apologize to anyone especially especially Mr. Woolley, if I said anything offensive to you.
I think all I said is I don't know why I have a beef with you,
so take it for what it's worth.
Run with it.
I have so many.
Do you know when you just have fun text messages to open?
Like you see them and you're like, ooh, that's going to be good.
I can't wait to open this.
Oh.
uh oh someone is telling me that i am right about the christmas abbott videos that she is taking it well someone will buy it and we'll find out
would that is that the first crossfit girl to do that or guy to do that? Are there any guys that we can watch bone?
Anyway.
All right.
Sorry, the kid's skateboarding got moved.
I just saw a text from my wife.
This kid's skateboarding got moved up to 10 a.m.
Okay, so I'm out of here.
I'll see you guys tonight, 6.30 p.m.
It looks like it is John Young, Bill Grundler, and Andrew Hiller and myself,
and probably Suzer and Caleb will be lurking.
Seve, could you, final comment.
Seve, could you imagine not seeing your boys or having the ability for two for every hour of the day no i cannot i'm gonna run in the room right now and just um uh love on him uh mr wool
wool wool woolsy uh not offended at all great interview josh is a great guy and terrific meme
account thank you john uh talk to all you guys soon uh buh-bye