The Sevan Podcast - Kill Taylor Ep. 10 | WIN $1,500!
Episode Date: June 30, 2024FITAID, 40% Off: https://www.lifeaidbevco.com/fitaidrxz-sevanpod?utm_medium=pdcst&utm_source=sevanpod&utm_campaign=promo__pdcst-sevanpod-qr Better Version Nutrition: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e.../1FAIpQLSffJOQLk2KYcHZbz-FA32YiOybksLQB1ENffnvAWSPdRkutfQ/viewform My Tooth Powder "Matoothian": https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS: Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doing right, we're not changing anything?
Correct.
Okay.
Our first victim is gone.
Taylor Self is here.
The next victim is waiting in the wing.
Burpee! Burpee! Burpee!
Burpee! Burpee! Burpee!
Oh my god!
What's this? It's blind, relentless, Welcome to the greatest show on the internet, Kill Taylor!
Yay!
My voice is back.
Fuck, I'm stoked.
Behind the scenes, you can't see him.
Bryson Del Monte running the clock, saying some other stuff, supporting Taylor, holding his hand, wiping up semen off the floor, things like that.
Also behind the scenes, not wiping up semen.
Caleb Beaver, who's from an airport as he switches locations from one to two.
Bottom, bottom, bottom.
The man, the myth, the legend, Pedro, Pedro, Pedro White.
Some people call him Peter.
Hails from the great island of ireland uh pedro's coffee
pods and wads station is absolutely exploding i hate it when people say he's gotten so good at
interviews because he's been fucking great for a long time there's some great interviews there
go check them out uh tyler watkins ceo founder of the heat One app, finally someone making CrossFit fun, executive producer of the Sevan podcast,
and the founder of the exploding thing
that everyone's talking about.
It's the place where all the affiliates
are slowly, every day, coming one by one
to share best practices, get free content.
Everything over there is free.
Matt Souza is building a hub.
What's the website for that, Souza?
It's a platform called School, S-K-O-O-L.
Oh, that's gangster.
That feels inclusive.
It's very inclusive.
The wording is actually the rainbow, too.
School is cool.
This week's $500 to make it $1,500.
$1,500 if you can beat Taylor Self, the greatest CrossFit athlete who's ever walked planet Earth.
The person adding $500 to the pile today is Bottom of the Pyramid.
And that is a fucking genius name for a nutrition company.
Better Pyramid.
Oh, no.
Sorry.
Bottom of the Pyramid.
That's Greg Glassman's hierarchy, his pyramid.
And at the base is nutrition.
If you would like to understand that idea and incorporate it into your life,
the Bottom of the Pyramid company will help you.
They will give you the tools you need, either one person, two people, three people.
You can bring them into your affiliate, and they'll run a program in your affiliate
and they will get your entire team
or your single person working to eat
in the best way possible
so that your DNA,
so that your chutzpah can express itself
in the way that it was supposed to express itself.
Greg Glassman was the one that would say
often in front of big crowds, I know you guys see
me as the fitness guy and I would love to lie to you and tell you fitness is the most
important thing, but it is not.
It is bottom of the pyramid.
The QR code is down there at the bottom.
They can serve as one people to a thousand people, hit them up.
And then finally, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so excited when we have stuff like this.
God bless Gabe from Paper Street Coffee for leading the way.
FIDAID is giving 40% off.
The QR code is in the upper right-hand corner.
Yep.
Yep.
40% off, dude.
That is absolutely insane.
What's crazy is three years ago, I was begging for a FIDAID sponsor,
and they wouldn't even fucking – they wouldn't even look my way.
It's probably all that bottom-of-the-pyramid nutrition I've been doing that's given me this physique that's now made it that FitAid will look my way.
We got to hang out with Aaron, the CEO over there at FitAid.
We had several just fun hangouts with him, and finally he's like, yo, dude, let's do something together.
I was like, fuck yeah.
I was tickling his balls when he said that that so maybe that had something to do with it but anyway uh stoked
uh these have creatine in them someone was making fun of me because they said hey there's not a
significant amount of creatine in it but i did a little research one can of creatine fit aid has
as much creatine as an eight ounce steak so you drink one of these with a steak and then hit a
wad all right bryson del monte you can't see his face and you can't see his body because he wears shirts
That are 12 sizes too big will now tell us
The workout. Oh, by the way and behind the scenes the reason why everything looks beautiful is the great will brandstetter. Okay, let's go
So the workout is four time seven wall complex
14 box jump seven wall complex 14 box jump 7 wall complex wall complex is one wall walk with a
handstand push-up at a 10 by 30 inch tape line to the wall and a 60 inch tape line away from the
wall for guys 55 inches for ladies the box jump is to 40 inches for guys 36 inches from ladies
when you start the workout you have to be behind farther away from the wall than
your 60 inch tape line or 55 inch facing the wall the new fentanyl listening to bryson tell you what
a workout is safer than fentanyl and puts you to sleep faster bryson del monte's fentanyl safe
effective thank you bryson the fuck kind of workout is that someone needs to vet these
fucking workouts what's wrong with it?
I don't even understand it.
Of course you don't.
He's doing wall walks.
Then he thought, how the fuck am I going to stop Colton winning?
I know.
We're ready when you are.
We will come back as soon as Taylor's done.
Pedro will give us a free breakdown on why no one can beat Taylor this week.
$1,500 is the prize.
Text me if you want to get a shot at it.
Phone number's up.
Yeah.
Taylor's on the clock.
Ten seconds.
Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, go.
And we're off. And we're off. And we, go. And we're off.
And we're off.
And we're off.
And we're off.
Oh, nice use of the effect.
Yeah.
Whoa.
He almost pressed weird on that first one.
Do you have to have those lines?
Do you have to have those lines?
Yes, this is standard.
Now, the 60-inch, I'm not sure of.
I feel like that's a little different.
Man, he's going way faster than I previously assumed.
I thought it was going to take about a minute to do these.
What is the second line for?
I don't get it.
You have to touch that line.
What if you're short?
Well, I think it's measured appropriately.
How would Tater Tot do it?
36 seconds.
This is the heightest workout.
I mean, Tater Tot's the tallest in this bit anyway. I mean so i mean look at that right you think that's the problem the tape's
the problem look at that jump you know what i like about this workout we don't have to count very high
oh i see yeah that is nice oh and look what i got look what i got this week i have a um
it'll be especially entertaining when someone smacks their head off the wall as well
i feel like this is more of a party trick than it is a workout this week huh It'll be especially entertaining when someone smacks their head off the wall as well.
I feel like this is more of a party trick than it is a workout this week.
No.
Why?
Because, dude, look at him.
He's crawling around on the, like, army crawling around the floor,
doing a little facing push-up towards a wall.
Now we're jumping up on this roof.
Oh, a clicker.
Dude, I love, ooh, I like that.
Too bad you forgot it. What happened to Fran?
Why did you happened to Fran?
Hey what about that Fran What about that Fran that Hiller published
Yeah
It was good
It was way harder than I thought it was going to be
Derek Brinkman
Member for three months
The thumbnail looks like Taylor is getting a prostate exam
Not looks like
That is from Taylor's third prostate I don't think you can call it a prostate exam. Not looks like. That is from Taylor's third prostate.
I don't think you can call it a prostate exam when it's a penis.
One, two, three.
Good point. Very good point.
At least that's what my doctor told me.
Why does he have the second line out there?
The far one or the close one?
Well, just explain both of them.
Because one of them has a starting point.
Your hands have to reach where he is now
before he can finish the rep
and his hands have to get back to the furthest away line before his feet drop off the wall or
the rep doesn't count okay wide bro so i understand the one that's close to the wall i guess yeah
if the other one wasn't there you could just drop wherever you want us yeah right i think like i think on these they should make the
the rule be like your chest touch the ground i don't really give a shit about how far you have
to reach thank you that always seemed weird to me but maybe maybe we can get him to switch that
yeah hey outside of our snatch workout there hasn't been very many barbells included in the
in all these over the time has there? Is Taylor afraid of a barbell?
Why doesn't he include barbells? I don't think so.
Is it not accessible? Is he trying to make it accessible
to everybody? He's so powerful.
Look at the ease that he's like. We'll know
now, I reckon, when regular
folks are calling in, you'll realize
how impressive these box jumps are.
This looks so effortless.
Jeremy, world, I've been triggered by
the white lines next week we'll
use black lines and then yellow lines and then brown lines i respect your feelings though jeremy
i'll tell you that i don't i die hey they're valid here they're valid here this is a safe space
all lines are welcome hey there's a few multi-color Oh, he should get tape that's the trans flag. Gay tape.
Oh!
323, we see our first fucking small break.
Oh, Nelly!
He's breaking down. No, Taylor.
Get your ass up, man.
So, what's the deal?
If your feet come off the wall, they have to be back on the top?
Oh, what was that?
I guess we don't give a shit about your legs veering out, do we?
It was never mentioned in the standards.
Fair enough.
Oh, wow.
Nice.
Taylor doing the first year college girl stance.
I love it.
349.
348.
I wonder if when he spreads his legs like that,
if he could smell the butthole in the room.
Oh, I could smell it from here in Livermore, dude.
You can smell it when he crosses his legs.
Smell it all the way at CFL.
Let's pull up the workout one more time.
The workout today, it was a wall walk to a handstand pushup,
seven of those, and you got to have some tape on the ground,
and then 14 box jumps to a 40-inch box,
and then seven of those wall things again,
where you got to do the wall walk and then the handstand push-up doesn't matter how uh wide your feet go i guess and i think his foot came off the wall once or twice but it was in contact
with the wall at the top at the end of the rep when he's locked out and then more 14 more box
jumps and then seven so this only has 28 plus 21 49. Is this the fewest amount of reps we've ever had in a workout on kill Taylor?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
Sure.
We're going to go with it.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
If you're just tuning in and you want to have a body like Taylor's bottom of the pyramid
can get you there.
Food is the way. Fuck there. Food is the way.
Fuck fitness.
Food is the way.
Bottom of the Pyramid will get you to the food consumption, quality, quantity, and kind that will get you the body that Taylor has.
And then you can add working out in later if you want.
And also, a crazy deal from FitAid.
40% off for the people uh on the show okay if you would
like a quick correction though sorry one second it's actually it's actually better version
nutrition bottom of the pyramid just their slogan so it's it's better version nutrition
dot com and the bottom of the pyramid is kind of their their slogan on there i didn't better
that out he better have gotten a fit aid. He better have gotten a fit aid.
I think he did. Did you see Aaron's comment down here too? It looks like we just
upped the ante on the pot.
Holy shit! And a free case
of fit aid for anyone who challenges
Taylor this week. Now listen,
that is the CEO of fit aid right
there, so that will happen. But I'm gonna tell
you this. You have
to get us your name and address. We are not chasing you motherfuckers down.
And if they don't, if you don't, all of it goes to me.
All prizes are you may or may not get the fifteen hundred dollars. You may or may not get the FIDE based on our ability to communicate with you that's the caveat but
that's awesome so free fit aid for everyone everyone who enters all you have to do to enter
is text me at 928-583-3903 uh and then i will um send you a link uh back oh look holy shit here we
go here we go already go oh this guy's competed against taylor a few times wow is it brandon no brandon's too heavy froning oh my god this is the most we've ever gotten
uh right away that that's probably a bad sign yeah he screwed this one up huh
1500 we'll hear from Taylor self very well
Samuel Karina make sure
you're a CEO level $20 a month member
and then go to the video tab of the channel
listen everyone should get a membership
for this station
that's just like a regular XL not a triple XL
I wonder if he's wearing the tight jeans
you think Tyson's changing his ways
there he is there's the body
there's the body.
There's the man.
He's not racist,
contrary to what many people on the internet are saying today.
It's only Asians he hates.
Taylor, what's up, buddy?
In the hierarchy, he has blacks, browns, whites, and then Asians.
There's Andy back there, looking jacked.
There's levels to this.
Taylor's doing the
workout at crossfit charlotte this week and every week where he teaches where he practices his
sentinel training uh program where he vets the workouts also uh sentinel training is absolutely
exploding uh taylor is a freak i call i speak to taylor about four or five times a week on the
phone and every time i call him i'm like what are what are you doing? He's like, I'm programming.
Bryson and I are
programming. I think it's code for something.
I think it's code for sniffing Cheerios.
Yo!
You just won
yourself a free case of Fit8, Taylor.
Nice work. Oh, shit.
I'm probably getting beat this week.
By the one organic boy.
Casey Acri! Wow. How the one organic boy. Casey Acri.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
How the fuck are you going to do this?
I don't stand a chance, but I'm going to give it a go.
Casey Acri going for the free case of FitAid.
Yeah, Casey, what is the plan?
Is a wall walk with a – Casey, have you won the CrossFit Games?
Yeah, a couple times.
Awesome. Congratulations.
What years did you win it?
21, 22, 23.
You're a fucking beast.
And why is your internet so good today?
I've always wanted to have you on the show,
but it seems to have been a problem.
I'm leveling up.
I'm tired of you talking shit about my internet.
You want all the focus back on your arm,
back on your stub.
Enough of this internet fucking shit talking. Casey, what you're gonna do by the way also soon as we're done here and you win the
fifteen hundred dollars text me your address because i'm gonna push your address to uh stuza
and then he's gonna try to get it to the fit aid people for your case of today oh sweet thanks dude
okay but i mean 40 off it might as well be free anyway yeah that's true
yeah okay buddy when's the last time i'll take that when's the last time you did a wall walk
uh i've trained him quite a bit actually you have okay and have they ever been it's the wall
facing handstand push-up that's tough but we're gonna give it a roll what do you do you just put
it on a box and try to make it level okay i see
by the way standing next to taylor right now is one of the fucking most og people you'll ever see
in the uh crossfit crossfit space andy hendel uh from my early days uh he was always there
andy what's up dude hey are you are, are you... Andy's claim to fame,
back in the day,
he did 100 overhead squats.
Did you do a 75 or 95, Andy?
95 pounds.
95 pounds. That's the workout on the main site.
Yeah, that was...
Originally, it was
95 pounds
for 75 reps and as few sets
as possible.
I just did an extra 25 just to make sure.
Damn.
That's crazy.
And Andy, you were running back for what NFL team?
Linebacker.
I was never a running back.
I was never that fast.
I was a linebacker.
So the way I describe a linebacker is you have to take on guys that are
bigger than you and you have to catch guys that are faster than you.
Which team did you do that for?
I was in the USFL for a couple years right out of college in
83 in Jacksonville. Then I was down with the Miami Dolphins.
I remember seeing a picture of you drilling
a lot of people aren't going to know who this is but he was crazy famous when I was a kid
drilling Eric Dickerson
yeah
also I tell the story that
there was a hole
about three foot wide
and it was just me and him
and I missed him
that's how good he is
that's how good he is
hey I can't with a story like that I can't believe you ever had a kid missing a three foot hole.
Oh, my gosh.
All right. All right.
Oh, my goodness.
The better nutrition people, it's 20 percent off right now for the Better Version Nutrition coaching.
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If you're an affiliate owner, you can bring them into your affiliate.
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A fantastic company.
Okay, Casey, we are ready when you are when you are brother okay give me one second okay sure
one arm oh he's got a wagon he's got a dump truck on him oh yeah we got this from uh this is what
seven and i do at the games we're like look at that dude's ass that's what we did
don't tell him tyler lisa gall one of my favorite people in the crossfit space
a media guru by the way if you have any uh media needs uh you should contact lisa gall she's a g
speaking of accessibility adaptive crossfit games tickets are now on sale i believe that event will
be september 19th to like the 23rd over in san antonio um the adaptive crossfit games tickets are on sale now
search wheel water on ticket master they've chosen san antonio i think because i think that's the hub
also of where all the uh um injured for the military go for their rehab so they have shit
loads of people there with missing pieces like casey and so they're going to do the adaptive
games there this year and it's going to be awesome.
It's a great location to hold the event.
This is crazy, coincidental,
because just yesterday I texted Tyler Watkins after Jeopardy!
And I said, fuck Casey Acree.
He did.
He urged you.
Yeah, I'm still red-assed over it.
This dude made me look like a jackass on that show.
Taylor, does he get any leeway?
No.
No, okay.
No, I don't want any leeway, but I'm not going to beat him.
I'll promise you that.
I know you don't want any leeway.
This is the first one that I can actually do the movement.
All right, buddy.
We're ready when you are.
Caleb's on the clock.
We got a next contestant in the wings.
Get out of the
fucking way.
Maybe he does do a lot of box jumps.
His legs
are fucking huge. I would imagine
if you can't do a 100%
upper body. Caleb, are you ready?
We're ready.
Do you want a 10 second countdown?
My clock has a 10 second
countdown.
Give me a 3, 2, 1. Give me a 3, 2, 1 and then we'll go. 10-second countdown? My clock has a 10-second countdown. Just say,
give me a 3-2-1.
Give me a 3-2-1 and then we'll go.
10 seconds.
Don't count down from 10 like Bryson did.
Like a space shuttle launch. 4, 3, go ahead, go.
1, go.
And we're off.
ACA, we transition to CrossFit Games Champion. How do you feel about this? The towel's stale, bro. The we're off. Here we go. KC, across the games champion.
How do you feel about this?
The towels are stale, bro.
The towels are stale.
Oh, no.
What are you talking about?
That's not level ground, bro.
That's level ground.
No, it's not.
He's got an eighth inch advantage.
We're going to bitch about the towel and not the fact that he doesn't have an arm.
Let's go, KC. Oh, shit. eighth inch advantage we're gonna bitch about the towel and not the fact that he doesn't have an arm oh shit where's that list of adaptive quotes that we need to say this is so inspirational somebody asked if he used his arm for his BBL. Get up! What's a BBL?
Hey, Brandon S., shut
the fuck up. I wouldn't know anything about
a Taiwanese whore, dude. That disgusting
racist comment of yours.
Wow. Taylor's legs were
spread further than a Taiwanese whore. Wow.
What an American whore.
Let's go, Casey.
I hate when people tell me to lighten up. Ken, don't people tell me to lighten up ken don't ever tell me yeah you should
pace you're very off pace how much how long did the seven take me 36 seconds oh you were flying
yeah you were flying i hope all these games athletes that i've talked to that said they're
gonna do this show are watching this right now and are just sitting there.
They're not going to call in and be like,
I could do this. They're watching a guy with one arm
and three legs do this workout.
Meanwhile, they don't have the balls.
His cock is hitting the box every time he jumps up there, dude.
Look at that sacrifice.
He can jump up there. I couldn't even jump up there.
He's doing rock jumps with his dump truck as well.
He should have had a fit aid.
He's on pace.
Lazar Jukic.
Look, he's got a wristband and an elbow band.
Nice.
Good job.
It does look like he fucking twerks or something.
Like he would drop it.
Like he would throw it back on a dude
Jesus that thing is ridiculous
It looks like a dude looks like a dude who would throw it back on another dudes type of but
Give the kid with the American flag shirt a case of fit aid my goodness
Always talking the nub he's chalking the nub
Was Casey hey seven would you let him miss you with that? Taylor's been sick in three days. Oh, he's chalking the nub. He's chalking the nub. What's Casey?
Hey, Seven, would you let him fist you with that?
Yeah.
He was finished.
You got him.
You got him.
You got him.
You got him.
You got him.
Oh, he needs a blood reduction surgery.
Ask him if he has a case of spina bifida or something for that ass.
It's got to fucking lug him around.
Butt reduction surgery?
That was the lamest thing I ever said on this show.
Was he born with the arm thing or was it an accident?
Was he born with the arm thing?
Seriously.
With the missing forearm and the missing hand you're talking about, Tyler?
I don't know.
I'm going to guess he lost it.
Hey, what's up with this fucking thing?
We asked him, but his internet connection was so bad, we couldn't get the answer on that show.
Come on, Casey, go.
He was fisting somebody.
He was fisting me, and I pinched his arm off with my butthole.
John Young, 316.
He's done.
He's done.
I got payback for you, Tyler.
That's payback for you whipping Tyler yesterday
Are you showing your hands up in surrender?
That noble shirt
Probably reduced your testosterone by 50%
Send him a CEO shirt
No it's cut off
That's a home cut off too
So it adds a little
About 100 tests back
Casey
When you saw the workout Did you know right away okay fuck it i'm trying
this one yeah at 8 30 this morning when i went live you said okay i'm doing this yeah i figured
might as well the other the other weeks have had like alternating snatches ring muscle ups like
shit that i technically can't do that i know taylor's gonna call me on so hey where are you what what gym are
you in this is my gym in in decatur illinois you're an affiliate owner not an affiliate just
a one-on-one gym awesome awesome awesome awesome and uh um did you were you born like that or did
you lose the arm born like it all right uh woke up and woke up like this. Is that normal?
Like what,
why do you,
what is that?
You just don't have enough.
There wasn't enough chromosome.
There's a chromosome.
You have all his chromosomes went to his ass,
dude.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Have you ever,
have you,
I would,
I feel like if I,
if I was born like that,
I would like, by the time I was nine, I would really try to, I would want to know what it was like trying to masturbate with it. Did you ever?
By the time you were nine?
I can neither confirm nor deny.
Good, good.
That was the first thing the priest told him when he was trying to quit masturbating. Okay, you can only use the no more.
I did break my wrist once, so I'm sure you guys can only look and imagine.
No shit, you broke your wrist on your good arm?
Yeah, I broke my wrist and my collarbone on my good arm.
Damn, I would be trying to suck my thing if that happened.
Man, and the cantaloupe went missing from the fridge.
No chance.
Are you competing this year in San Antonio, brother?
No, I'm not actually.
And why is that?
I coach high school football.
And so since it's in September, I would miss three football games
because we have freshmen, varsity, and JV.
So I didn't want to leave the team with just all the unknown
of what the season structure was going to look like and
stuff I didn't want to commit to something that wasn't going to work out so this season I'm going
to take off I've got a lot of life changes going on here I just I just got promoted with underdogs
so I'm taking on more responsibility with them you're a coach over there yeah I'm a coach for
underdogs so I just took over Kiefer's's position since he just left to go to proven.
So yeah, just a lot of life changes going on.
I'm closing my gym here in a few months.
Just yeah, making all kinds of life changes.
So just a bunch of unexpected stuff that I didn't know what my training and stuff was
going to look like.
So I'm taking this year off from competing and then hopefully they'll schedule at a different time of year next year.
And I'll be able to get back to it.
Do you have any choice words for Kiefer?
Like, fuck you, maybe?
Or if you give me more money by leaving.
No, no, no hard feelings for Kiefer.
I mean, it's a it's a great opportunity for him.
And me and Kiefer are good buddies.
And he's helped me a lot over the last couple of years with underdogs,
kind of learning about coaching elite athletes.
So it's all good.
I get it.
Hold on one second.
It's the CEO of FitAid.
Oh, they're only going to send you half a case because you only have one hand to drink with.
Thank goodness.
They're pre-opened.
They're pre-opened.
They're pre-opened.
They're pre-opened. Are they half-opened. They're pre-opened. They're pre-opened.
Are they half drank already?
Screw top.
Half drank, yeah.
Are they half empty or half full?
Half full.
We're a very positive show here.
Nothing but positivity.
Casey, Uniman, stay in touch.
Thanks, guys.
Is your internet good now?
You can do podcasts?
Yeah, I can do podcasts now.
Okay, I'll be reaching out very soon.
And what's the name of your football team that you're coaching?
Sangamon Valley High School.
Good luck this year, dude.
You're a beast.
Appreciate it.
No way
Sevan remembers Sangamon High School.
It was just the thought that counts.
He wrote it down.
Send an extra case of Fide to Casey
for every person that fails to beat him.
Colton, where are you at, Colton?
Hey, remember to ask if he played football.
Yeah, he played quarterback.
Did he really?
No, dumbass.
I mean, geez.
Taylor, here's something I got to ask you.
There were a couple times, a couple reps where your feet came off the wall,
but when you were locked out at the top, they were touching the wall.
So I think, okay, so that's fine.
I don't fucking know.
That movement's never been in competition, so it's whatever I want it to be.
Okay, fine.
Okay, okay, okay.
Damn.
Okay, we have another contestant for the $1,500.
I would assume that if they were to standardize it,
it would only matter that your feet were on the wall at the finish of the rep.
And they were.
And they were.
We have Josh from Don't Count the Day, Make the Day Count.
And you can do that, by the way, if you get on the Better Version Nutrition program.
They will make it so you don't have to count your macros.
I think that is actually what Muhammad Ali said.
I think they have the quote wrong.
Better version nutrition will teach you how to get optimization out of your nutrition and your body without counting macros.
Muhammad Ali.
Oh, guys.
Josh, what's up, buddy?
Josh, we need that phone sideways, by the way.
This is your first time on the show.
Fuck, we need you just to be there.
Yeah. Where's the obligatory girlfriend and wife
to walk in front of the camera?
Beautiful gym.
Josh is going to walk in front of the camera
with his pants around his ankles
and his balls tucked between his ass.
If I were following you to this show,
I would goat everyone.
I would hang up now if I was in charge of this.
You know, we haven't had any incidences yet
that's a really good point oh like that fucking one dude that one dude on uh what's his name
uh the dude who has the nair video oh yeah that me and bison one day when we were
what incident are you talking about like somebody like you pull the camera up and
their butthole showing something like that why up and their butthole's showing. Something like that.
We can see it before we pull it up.
Oh yeah, that's a good point.
So Sevan's just seeing them.
Your phone's probably on lock.
You gotta...
I think he's unlocking it. There it is.
Well, look at that AC unit.
Hey, can we see that AC unit? What's that running you?
Why are so many people trying this week?
We have three people now in the wings.
Everybody wants to do the circus tricks.
$1,500.
That knows how to use a camera.
Let me go over the workout really quick.
It's $1,500 if you can beat Taylor.
Taylor Self in this workout.
He did it at CrossFit Charlotte.
His time was 3.48.
It's seven wall complex.
So it's a wall walk to a handstand push-up seven times
14 box jumps to a 40 inch box then seven more wall complexes that's the wall walk with the
handstand push-up 14 box jumps and then seven wall complex the time to beat is 348 the winner gets
1500 everyone who tries gets a free case of fitAid. Maybe, maybe. I mean, like, you're supposed to, but I don't know if we'll actually, like, get your address and all that shit.
But if we get your address, we'll do our best to get it to you.
And then, of course, the QR code is down at the bottom for better nutrition.
You get 20% off this week, and you get 40% off of your FitAid orders.
Thank you.
Josh, can we at least see you?
I don't even remember.
Before we hang up on you.
There you are.
Oh, there he is.
Robocop.
Oh, shit.
Hey, dude.
How do we know this guy's clean?
He looks like a prototypical frat boy fucking CrossFitter.
Frat boy.
Let's go, Josh.
Let's see this shit.
I competed against Josh in Granite Games
My first competition ever
You got to measure before or after?
After, only if you win
Did you beat him at Granite Games?
I did
He does look like Yellow Host
I think I did
Josh, did Taylor beat you at Granite Games?
Yeah, I can't remember if he beat me or not
That was a long time. 2018. Holy shit.
Yeah.
Back in the day.
I was transitioning.
Looks like a cop.
Yeah.
Kayla nailed it.
Josh.
Josh also is a star of a movie,
a B movie called hot college guys.
Fuck.
And you can download that on a Netflix.
Just hit the QR code on screen.
Yes.
Hot college guys fuck.
And it's a very inclusive show.
He fucks everybody.
I only watch to learn new moves.
That's all.
That's the only reason why.
Hot college guys fuck themselves
is actually what the show is called.
Do you know how much,
like in that 70s show
when they talked about new moves, that stressed me out.
I was like, how many moves are there?
Josh, we got to have the camera turned a little bit.
We can't see the clock all the way.
We have our own clock.
Yeah, but how the fuck do we—
Less of the rig, more of the clock.
College hunks moving junk.
This is the first time using this clock.
There we go.
Uh-oh, there is a lady behind there. A lady
or a lady boy? Heather
Schramm is fitting a deal for new customers
only. Who the fuck knows?
No one knows. Okay, we're ready when
you are. Caleb Beaver on the back end.
We got a 10-second countdown on it.
Okay, thank you.
Sick.
Oh, I think it was that latest comment, a link to
hot college boys fuck from leo 1754
here here's the here's the hack by the way seven coupon for fitting only works for new
accounts no worries i created a new one yeah there you go my time was five minutes
here we go ready josh gervais. This guy's good. Look at that stance.
He's ready.
For $1,500.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, look. He's already mapped out
his hand placement, too.
That doesn't mean shit.
It means it's mapped out.
He's on pace, dude.
It means he wouldn't know where to put his hands
if he hadn't practiced where to put his hands, which is
not a sign of intelligence.
David Weed said
he's on pace.
I'd love to get rid of the two
O's
in count on the wall.
It would still make sense.
Don't count the days.
Make the days,
Tom.
Seven.
Okay, that's seven, right?
Yep.
43 is off pace.
He's on pace.
He's going to speed up.
He's going to rebound.
Oh, my God.
He's going to rebound.
Oh, shit.
Look at that.
Wow.
Bold move, Cotton.
Damn, he's going to pair up three runs, too.
This is like throwback 2005.
Some Monarchs.
I don't remember Taylor's splits.
I do.
I have them.
He was at 122.
He came off of these.
On the wall or on time?
Off the box.
He finished the box at 122.
Have you got those written on normal regular person paper or some kind of special paper, Tyler?
Special dark paper.
Oh, man.
Wow.
He's one second off.
You're fucking on.
Here we go.
Here we go.
It's going to come down to the wall complex for sure.
Is that his son right there?
That's a college boy.
Oh, he was.
Yeah, that's one of the college boys, that's one of his college boys.
That's one of his college boys.
That's a coach guy?
Oh, my God.
He's a groomer.
He's lucky he's doing it.
You got to keep rebounding, bro.
You're too slow on these.
Guys, I actually think Josh coaches hockey, if you know what I mean.
He coaches college hockey.
What was my time off the second set of
what's he on now he's at 203 oh he meant
number I'm fucking out Tyler you can't
do everything don't worry you did great
we got 122 that's good yeah thank God
he's right on the jumps, dude.
Oh!
Come on, Josh.
He was kind of tossing that wall.
Speed the hell up.
Yeah, that was...
This last set's going to be...
Dude, that's...
He was jumping straight from the top.
Oh.
Game over.
It's over.
The time to be 348.
348 348
Bill A he's watching this freaking out
He's watching this fucking jerking his meat
Because he thinks he could beat me if he wasn't injured
I tried
Actually he doesn't jerk off
Every time he thinks about jerking off he does 10 pull ups
Yeah
Bill go do your pull ups
Put your dick away go do your pull ups Bill
Let's go Josh Okay It's coming down Go do your pull-ups. Put your dick away. Go do your pull-ups, Bill.
Let's go, Josh.
Okay.
Uh-oh.
It's coming down.
What was Taylor's time again?
Why the fuck are you cheering for him, Tyler?
I like a little spice.
Tyler likes a little college boy action, all right?
Yeah. Don't you judge him.
This is a nonjudgmental show.
Is this the final wall walks?
The final wall walks.
It's coming down to it he's got
48 time to bds to do seven of these i'll get my clicker out there's no one one one he's gonna be
a minute slower than me i don't know it's close it's not close suza by the way and he has 18
seconds you fucking ass he's gonna do a go. Don't get your brain tumor removed, you fucking idiot.
It's a touch and go.
Three.
See, that's a strategic rise.
That's a strategic rise.
No, he was listening to Mother Earth right there.
He was listening to Mother Earth.
He was grounding.
Nice try, Josh.
Good try, Josh.
Where's the button?
Damn.
His little hockey boy is going to cry.
He'll be like, my dad didn't do it.
No, come on.
Did you quit?
Did he not do them all?
Poor Shane.
Damn.
I thought he was going to go touch and go at the end there
and really just crush it hey josh yeah josh yes uh what gym are you at bill fitness
bill lahey fitness no
who owns the gym josh owns the gym where's built Bilt? Oh, that's sick. Oh, he got a turf?
Dude, that AC unit is no joke.
That thing's wild in there right now.
What's the name of the gym?
Bilt Fitness.
Are you an affiliate?
No, I used to be.
Two in a row.
Hey, good for you, bro.
Good for you.
Hey, was it the $4 $4500 Is that when you stopped
That's about it yeah
Hey when you rebounded
That was pretty impressive
Going forward would you recommend people rebound
I knew that
The wall facing handstand pushup
Was going to get me towards the end
So if I had any chance I had to be on the box
Alright dude
Hey fantastic job.
How old are you?
32.
Yeah, awesome.
All right, dude.
Thanks for trying.
Hey, text me your address,
and I will do my best to get you a case of FitAid.
If you send a dick pic, you get two cases.
If you send me a dick pic, you get two cases.
Hey, thank you, dude.
Thanks for calling in.
Yeah, great gym.
Good gym, too.
That place looks cool.
Hey, 7.
You got a comment on his AC unit again, Susan, before he goes?
Peter, shut the fuck up.
Hey, 7.
Yes.
I love this comment, NeuroticTaylorSelf.
They have a picture of me.
I don't know where the fuck they got this picture.
Okay, give me one second.
Listen, you guys don't have to enter to get a free case of FIDAID.
You can get 40% off by using the QR code.
Be smart.
Okay, where's the comment?
Where's the –
It's above –
Yeah.
There it is.
I'm here to come on someone's face, neurotic Taylor self.
He's got a tie on.
Oh, that looks like he's like 13 at a wedding
Or something
I don't even fucking remember where I was
I was at some fucking ball party
In DC
Ball party?
Like a ball
Like some sort of fucking ball
Not balls
Oh this guy's fucking serious
Look at his head dude
Too big
No no no he's ready He's ready dude Oh This guy's fucking serious. Look at his head. It's like too big
What's your name Chris Martin, buddy, welcome to the show
Are you just doing this for a free case of FitAid? He's got a poly flower here. But $1,500 does sound nice.
Do you do Jiu-Jitsu by any chance?
Yeah, look at that.
This guy fights.
I better not say shit.
He's going to beat my ass.
Do you fight or do guys just slap you with their cocks?
Like, do you just, like, do they just?
Is that from penis rubbing your ear?
No, I got a cauliflower here.
Just taking it off.
Good dude. Good dude.
What martial arts do you practice?
I did wrestling in high school
and then I ended up joining the military
and then MMA here and there.
Now I just do this.
Are you in the military now?
Yeah, I'm active duty.
In what branch?
I'm in the Marine Corps.
Okay, thank you. Are you a
DEI hire for the military?
Like you said, you check in the DEI.
Are you gay? A little bit.
A little bit!
A little DEI.
Alright, well thank you. Thank you for making the military
inclusive. I appreciate you. Absolutely.
That's what I'm here for. Alright, buddy.
We're ready when you are.
Oh! I appreciate you. Absolutely. That's what I'm here for. All right, buddy. We're ready when you are
That guy talks like he's in 1.25.
Their wall ball shots are the transgender flag and his mat is gay as fuck.
I love it.
Thank you.
Where everyone is welcome.
Oh, is that on the wall ball?
Are the wall ball tape lines the trans?
Is that the trans colors?
I think so.
It's something.
I thought that was a youth-enhancing person.
All right, here we go.
We're starting 10 second countdown
in three, 2, 1.
10 seconds.
$1,500.
Give us another 3, 2, 1, go when he starts.
All right, here we go.
3, 2, 1, go.
Nice job.
Yeah, somebody had a comment in there,
and they said, is that a 48-inch box jump?
Does he have the wrong sizes?
Oh, my God. That looks like 48 inches. It's a lot of steps. comment in there and they said is that a 48 inch box jump did he does he have the wrong sizes
that looks like 48 it's a lot of stuff looks like it's smaller no no yeah i can't tell that guy looks like a kind of like a mexican brian friend hey that's a 40 inch box jump right not
a 48. he's a few gives a those look related. The guy doing the workout looks like...
What's the guy that was in Saved by the Bell?
Slater. What's his name?
Mario Lopez?
Mario Lopez?
Mario Lopez?
Uh-oh. He's on pace.
He's on pace.
Dude, Taylor, how fast were you going?
You said 36.
I didn't know. I can't believe it.
Oh, that's definitely 40 inches.
Oh, he's going to eat. Oh, that's definitely 40 inches. Okay.
Oh, he's going to eat.
Oh, no, man.
Two.
There you go.
Three.
His calves are thick as fuck.
Yeah.
Mailman calves.
You're a calf guy, huh, Peter?
Oh, yeah.
Big calf guy, huh?
One more, Chris.
One more, Chris. He's a ton hair away from eating shit. That a boy. Damn. Yeah big gap guy, huh
I was at 122. Yes. Yep
Go Chris, he's 12. He's only two behind
So he's six seconds He's only two behind So he's
Six seconds off the pace, okay
That first set of uh, too many steps look how many steps he takes
He's ready
Wear a cup and let himself slam down
Taylor took four steps every
My penis is tingling dude, it can feel the tip of his butthole that just sounded like a crack of a nice cold fide
Oh, yeah.
Get a 40% off in the QR code up the right-hand corner of your screen.
If you don't buy the 40% FID-AID, you're just here to go.
Hey, does FID-AID make any anal lube for this guy?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Their newest product line.
And by the way, if you do BetterVersion Nutrition, you get 20% off,
and they will let you incorporate a FID-AID into your nutrition plan. Hey, where the fuck is Colton that? Colton you better fucking call in today
Bye Chris, bye bye
Rocking and rolling. Here we go
He's got it
Time to be 348 time to be my kill Taylor was 348 he somehow
Time to be my kill Taylor was 348. He's somehow
Loop would be a good move for fit a it's on it's on brand
Yeah, yeah
Let's go Chris
Chinner boy, right props to him for using two wooden boxes though. Yeah, I'm your what I'm your fucking wood
Is he even halfway through the workout? Yeah.
He just has wall walks left.
My goodness.
Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, he's continuous.
God.
Damn.
Damn, this guy don't give a fuck.
Wow. He went into those block jumps shitting first. Chris, I like that. Maybe or marine damn this guy don't give a fuck Wow those knock jump shin first
Chris
I'd like to say to you the same thing your mom said last night. Thank you for service. Bye. Bye. Oh my
Gold his shades are
The time to beat is 3.48.
Chris, if you're listening, send me your address.
We'll get you a free case of FitAid,
courtesy of FitAid, because FitAid
is FitAid. Am I frozen still?
Yeah, you got the little thumbs up
thing, dude.
All right, I'm going to reload the page.
It's so cute.
We'll be here.
How bad does it feel when you get left?
I want to tell you guys what the workout is.
The workout is
some wall walks to a handstand push-up
and then some box jumps to a really high box
and then you got to do that a couple times.
The time to beat is 3.48.
There's $1,500 on the line.
This looks like someone from CrossFit Krypton.
You're going to guess.
Here we go. Oh shit. Oh
We're live
By a B dude, what's wrong with your face?
You've got a fisheye lens I coach him you do
Lens it's like from the 1970s, dude. It's Lou Ferrigno's fucking son. I
Don't know what any of this shit. Dude, it's Lou Ferrigno's fucking son. I don't know
what any of this shit means.
Hey, just rotate your phone sideways.
Yeah, I got it.
Hey, he looks like he belongs in the
Fuck College Boys movie.
What's his name?
We got the whole cast here.
Oh, shit.
I figured.
Nice looking gym.
I think you should never put a heavy barbell in
So might as well go for it
He can snatch like
350 and clean and jerk's like 480
350 too
Damn
Look at that wall fan
That's a good looking wall fan
What is he 12?
He's like 20
Yeah he looks young I wonder what the distance is on that bad boy That's a good-looking wall fan. What is he, 12? He's like 20.
Yeah, he looks young.
I wonder what the distance is on that bad boy.
Are you probably updating your air conditioning or something?
You don't really know how this is going to go.
You're going to get in the second round, and we're going to kick you off.
That's how it's going to go.
We'll know in the first 30 seconds. Make my day and do that.
Make my day.
When you hear this.
Hey, shut the fuck up.
You got to be nice to this guy.
I coach him.
Oh, that's right.
He's on seasonal training,
so therefore we get in our knees.
Oh, yes.
Good luck.
Yeah, what's your name?
What's your name?
This box jump might not go well.
What's your name?
EJ.
EJ Hines.
All right.
Good luck, EJ.
We're going to be nice to you.
We're going to be nice to you
because you work with Taylor
Go on here for you to talk shit
Okay, I'll put
Okay, fuck you EJ, let's go
Yeah
Maggie Boyach
We got lots of like wrestling mats there
Or something too
Jody Lynn
Don't ask, don't tell
Thank you Jody, appreciate it You're a good woman tell. Thank you, Jody. Appreciate it.
You're a good woman.
Thank you.
Hey, we're starting.
Okay.
Starting on the ground or on the face of the wall?
Starting off.
Start standing up.
You got to start on the GHD.
Yeah, weirdo said stand up.
Jeffrey Birchfield, is he Native American?
No, he's sober.
Two, one.
Oh, my God. Two, one. Oh my god.
Oh, damn. Look at him scurry.
That
motherfucking scurry. That is quick.
Wow.
He's going to blow up so hard.
Is this our first female
competitor we've had this show?
Oh my god.
I always like it when the girls try.
He's going to get to two minutes and then
just start moving through sludge.
You think those are the only three PhDs
they got in that gym or you think there's more on the other side?
Every fucking affiliate is in a
shop window, Sousa.
He's beating me now.
He's not going to last.
It's not going to last.
Come on.
Look at that. He's not gonna last. It's not gonna last. Atta boy, let's go. Come on. $1500 on the line.
Look at that.
He's fucking attacking those balls.
Too easy.
Sissy step back.
Okay.
Damn.
This guy has a good coach.
We're not stepping down, Roman.
We're not Roman?
Nice.
Uh-oh.
Taylor, you get a little nervous?
Yeah, fuck him.
If my fucking own athlete beats me, I'm fucking done.
Oh, damn.
When the student becomes the master, we're seeing it live here.
I never.
I never.
Do you pay him monthly after this?
No, if he beats me, he fucking sends me half the money you pay him.
I never once let Michelle beat me in a workout.
She never beat me in a workout.
Attaboy, come on.
She could beat me in any workout. Oh, shit me in a workout. Attaboy, come on. She could beat me in any workout.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
We're tied.
Wow.
Fuck me.
Oh, damn.
Here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen, you can mix sentinel training, which EJ does, with better version
nutrition, and you will be faster than EJ.
That is the missing piece in EJ's workout.
Here it comes.
Attaboy, come on, you got this.
You're short.
0-3 pump jump over here.
Yes!
I don't want to cheer for him to lose, but fuck me.
I'm so conflicted.
I'm conflicted.
Hey, there's a games athlete waiting.
There's a fucking games athlete waiting in the wings.
Is it a fucking master?
There it is.
I told you on cue.
Two minutes dead.
Hey, there's a legit games athlete waiting in the wings.
Let's go, EJ.
Let's go, EJ.
Don't fucking.
What are you looking for?
A contact lens? No.
Jesus, TJ.
What are you hanging out down there for, brother?
He's doing the eccentrics.
He's doing the eccentrics.
All of the butts, let's go.
All show, no go.
Go back to your fuckboy movie.
College fuckboys.
What does he just come from?
It's college boys fucks, Devon.
He's attacking.
Just go ahead and spin the camera towards whoever
the female is yelling back there.
That'd be great.
Is he going to eat shit?
How many settings do studies is that wall
fan has he's goofy he's not an athlete like you Taylor you see that you get a
little goofy cleaning jerks 100% easily is that that like me his butt cheeks don't even aren't even symmetrical
Let's go it has been big booty
Cue the button
Looking for that contact lens
He's done lay down
EJ fake an injury. EJ, give me a BJ. EJ, give me a BJ. Go,
buddy,
go.
Almost cut it in your subscription.
Kick it in third year.
Oh,
and,
uh,
he's a way,
he's a nice guy.
He stripped fifth.
He has your lift.
Somebody call EJ's mom.
Shut up.
It's,
oh,
look at me getting defensive now.
Yeah,
I am getting defensive.
You guys, you're letting him finish. Oh, I am getting defensive. You guys are letting him finish.
Good job, EJ.
Does he got blood?
There you go. Come on, finish.
Is he finishing or what?
You're never going to get anyone pregnant
if you don't finish.
How many reps is that?
That's five.
That's five.
Come on, two more. Let's go.
You took a 30-second rest.
Hey, there's another guy waiting that looks like a low-rent Hunter McIntyre.
You won't believe this guy's pro that's waiting.
You're watching this.
I thought you said he was a legitimate games athlete.
I thought you said he was a legitimate games athlete.
No, before the Hunter McIntyre looking dude, there's a games athlete.
You're fucked. Let's go, EJ.
Get up that wall.
There's 1,100 people walking.
Oh, damn.
Good job.
He had you.
EJ,
you're going to have to pay $1,500
the way you normally do walking the streets, buddy.
Nice shot, EJ.
Oh, yeah. Bye-bye uh sentinel training
might not get you to win this but at least give you the confidence to uh do the show ladies and
gentlemen get you to lose it some games athletes are just signed up for sentinel so taylor doesn't
talk shit they found out that that was the secret they just get on the programming and he won't say
anything bad about him no if games athletes sign up for my programming i fucking unsubscribe immediately ladies and gentlemen
programs i'm two weeks out in 30 seconds we'll be back to see which games athletes gonna win
the 1500 this week hey guys i'm here with the two new fit aid flavors blue raspberry juicy apple
and i tell you what these are so good they have
everything you need zero sugar creatine all the electrolytes and with a guy who trains a lot like
myself these are the perfect match Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the beautiful, the powerful, the world-renowned.
What's up, girl? What's up, Paige?
Hey, guys.
What's up? Are you doing this? Are you feeding this workout through the wool?
No, okay.
No, this isn't quite wheelhouse for me.
Who's that? She doesn't even... Does she have ID?
She looks like she's 12.
Oh, my God.
I have an age limit for this show.
16 and older.
I'm young in the...
Who cares?
I follow Paige in the shadows.
I'm her training partner.
My name is McKenna Enslin.
I was at the...
Okay.
Last year and this year.
We don't need your life story,
McKenna.
Thank you.
Listen, McKenna.
No girl has ever even come close. We don't need your life story, McKenna. Listen, McKenna, no girl has ever even come close.
We're going to try.
I'm pretty good at wall climbs and I'm pretty tall.
So I'm giving it my best shot.
Wait, how tall are you?
We'll be rooting for you.
I'm 5'6".
Did you compete at Crash?
No, I didn't.
Do you have a nose ring in?
I do.
Yeah, I hope you lose.
I hope you win.
I hope you win.
Sorry, Paige.
Sorry, Paige.
Sorry, Paige.
Paige, I got to get you on the show soon.
I'll be texting you soon.
Don't try to suck up now.
I know. I am sucking up.
Paige doesn't have the nose ring.
Okay.
If that's Paige's line, we're in for a long
four minutes.
What did she say?
Don't be mean.
Oh my god.
The whole girl squad there at CrossFit Cervix.
Okay, let's go.
What did he say? CrossFit Cervix. Okay, let's go. What did he say?
CrossFit Cervix?
What?
Damn!
All right.
Let's see what the fuck is going on here.
She does look tall, doesn't she?
Oh, shit.
That's incredible.
Yeah, she does.
How do we start this?
Hey, is that...
I think her box doesn't have to be 40 inches.
How high is that box?
I think for...
It's 36.
36.
Okay, okay. Okay, all right box? It's 36. Okay.
You start your clock and give us a countdown and we'll start ours.
Let's go, McKenna.
Do you want to start a clock?
Man, I really want her to win.
Me too.
She can't take enough oxygen in that nose with that ring in there.
The ring looks good, Sam.
Don't you comment on that?
Are you guys woke?
Paige, are you guys woke?
Is this woke?
I don't know what that means.
What does that mean?
That's too Gen Z.
Just kidding.
I don't know.
I'm still too old for it, though.
Well, if you don't make cervix shirts, CrossFit cervix shirts, you're missing out.
I would buy one of those.
Doesn't Sevalon jerk off to Con Porter every night, and he has a huge nose ring?
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, wow.
That's true. That's true.
That's true.
I'm going to joke.
We have a 10 second countdown.
Let's go McKenna.
You got to face the wall.
Face the wall.
Turn around.
3, 2, 1.
Go.
We should have screwed with her and just said
no the other way.
The other wall.
Oh, she's coming out high.
She ain't here to play games.
She ain't here to win it.
Let's go.
We'll for sure get her some Fit Aid.
At the very least.
Every participant has a very good chance of getting a case of Fit Aid.
Is this really Brent Fikowski?
No, it's not.
Oh, we're not doing this again.
Yes, it's really Brent Fikowski.
Hey,
do you ever do that jump up thing?
What?
I don't jump up.
She's on pace, guys.
She's on pace, boys.
Yeah, she is. Is that it? Was that seven right there?
That's seven. Oh, nice.
Oh, no, she ain't got it.
Oh, yeah, she did. How do you know? How do you know? too much hesitation on the jump no that was just a little breather a little look at that aggressive
walk out i know she's yeah that's nice nice the best part of the show is people missing
yeah well we had a couple casualties. What did Brent say?
Brent said, hey, Taylor.
I've had my wiener out this entire show, yelping to this episode.
But I got to go for a run now.
So I'll send you a pic of my man meet later.
I think that's really sweet of him.
I didn't know you guys were close like that.
There's only 200 characters in a comment.
Where's she at right now?
How many boxes? I was at a taxi, said Taylor.
No idea, but she's off stage.
1.22 was the time that Taylor came off
this first round. Yep, and she's at, what, right there?
Last one. Okay, last one.
Alright, so she's 10 seconds behind.
Let's go.
She looks as good as anybody.
Well, she's got to push.
This is going to be the teller.
Oh, a little slip.
No, it's alright. there was some reps Taylor where I was like, you're about to eat shit
Well see the line for on the wall just slam it right to the ground. That's the advantage for being a girl
I slammed it right to the ground. I just tucked it. I tucked it in between. Taped it with a little masking tape.
Little.
Manscape tape.
Oh, there was a lot of dust back in the ground.
Sorry, Paige. Your protege is not
going to cut it.
Midline, midline, midline.
Nice.
Oh, and she got a coach there.
Midline, midline, midline.
Get nasty. Get nasty.
Get nasty?
Get nasty?
CrossFit service, everybody.
CrossFit service.
Get nasty.
Get tough.
Yeah, good job on the coaching there.
Get nasty.
Really solid.
Get nasty.
Hey, don't be upset about the creative cues.
The creative cues.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, no, thanks for now athlete to get nasty. She's gonna eat it on this first one
Yeah, we just like to sit up and have an aed machine in a fire extinguisher next to the door there clearly mark
Thank you crossfit vertex for keeping us safe
I tucked my wiener into my butthole.
Again, a regular Saturday for Taylor.
Yeah.
That was happening regardless. The time to beat is 3.48.
This is the last caller, guys.
We're at an hour in.
I got to go for a trail run today.
Here we go.
Here we go.
The trail will still be there.
No, fuck these two people.
We've already had four people try. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Fuck you. No, fuck these two people. We've already had four people try.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, fuck you. No, no, no.
I think there's another girl.
Dude, do you know how many people now are texting?
Now it's getting crazy.
It doesn't fucking matter.
We're past an hour. The show doesn't just go to two hours
because more people call.
Taylor, Taylor, relax, buddy.
We're okay, all right?
You can run in place right there in front of the camera.
Time to be 348. Let's go, McKenna. Oh Now she's got it let it go whoa don't fucking run brent
fuck me dude
what are you doing here turn this off
this is too vulgar for your household
yeah yeah
this is way too vulgar
well he's running and just shit talking at the same time
he's pb'ing his 5k
on texting into the show
hey what do you think about this prepubescent hunter mack
hey it's Bark buddy it's barkley
it's all gas no brakes out there
how do i have to start this do i have to start like not facing the wall or something
on your knees are you on your knees now that seems like a perfect position for you to start hey your head looks exactly like the area above my cock
wow hey do you have any chance listen do you have any chance uh we'll listen. Do you want to see it? Do you guys want to compare?
Yep, yep.
Go ahead.
Oh, my God.
Let me see what's going on.
Let me just see something real quick.
Let me see Anna.
Anna, can I see you?
Anna, show yourself.
Are we going to run a double?
Anna, can I see Anna?
That's not Anna.
Is that Anna?
Anna. Anna. There we go. Anna. You want to run a double? Anna, can I see Anna? That's not Anna, is that Anna?
Anna!
Anna!
Who's going? Is the pretty girl going or the juiced up guy?
Hey, can we do them both?
Sorry, I can't hear anything.
Anna, are you ready to go?
I, uh, sure.
I don't know what...
We'll be back in one minute.
We'll be back in two minutes to you.
Okay, Jake, get out there and fucking do this.
You need that $1,500, knucklehead.
They're both on drugs.
Yeah, go ahead. Whatever you want to do.
Caleb's ready with the clock.
She's taking more trend than he has.
What did Fikowski say?
What did Fikowski say?
He said, why are you doing a trail run?
It's not a very semifinal athlete activity.
Go.
Go.
Here we go.
Oh.
Jake Hoover.
Ha, ha, Brent.
Wow.
This guy's got the most girl body I've ever seen.
He looks like a Gymshark athlete.
He's ready.
This guy looks like Brent grabbed him from behind by the waist.
That's a games athlete before they got juiced up.
Brent, Brent, would you like to put your hands around this kid's waist?
I think Brent would like to thank us for growing the sport of CrossFit right now.
You're doing a lot, guys.
Brent, PFAA should sponsor the show next week.
You can't be quaffing that hair to lower your –
Yeah, he just stops.
Seriously, I can pull my pants down right now and my pubis
looks exactly like his head.
Pubis. Oh!
He's on pace. You're on pace.
You're not on pace. You're not on pace.
This guy looks like he needs
performance enhancing drugs. He's on pace-ish.
That's the smallest butt we've seen
today. Bouncy.
Wow. Hey, Brent, do you even
remember what event one was from semifinals? It was a fucking run. Fiveouncy. Wow. Hey, Brent, do you even remember what event one was from
semifinals? It was a fucking run.
Five of them. Five
of them, dude.
Five of them, bro.
That was a really quick comeback, Titor.
Thanks, Titor. Go fuck yourself.
He's killing it.
Somebody said Team Ujack
Farlow.
Peter, did you get your ass beat in high school for just outsmarting dude?
122 is the time Taylor came off the box.
122.
I got my ass beat because I used to tell seniors to suck my cock.
And one time this guy ran up behind me.
This guy.
I definitely didn't do it, but he ran
up behind me and shoved me as hard as he could
while I was walking away, and I flew across
the fucking lobby.
It was crazy.
Did you hit the ground? Did you fall?
Dude, I fell, and then another senior
thought that that guy was just being a dick and beat
him up, but then I went to the principal's office.
They're like, hey, everyone told us
that you told that guy to suck your dick. You can't
say that in school.
So then he could physically push you?
No, fuck that.
No, he got in trouble.
He got in trouble for sure.
But I was also like, I also got detention.
Jake Hoover taking some deep breaths.
Oh.
Darkly Bale is finished.
Darkly Bale.
Jake, send me your address. We'll get you a case of FitAid.
Thanks for trying, dude.
Love you, Taylor.
Love you, dude.
You hear that, Brent? He loves me, Brent.
Dude, Rich is jealous right now.
Vagina number two
of the Kill Taylor show this week.
I'm definitely going to say
vagina number three after that last caller.
Oh, damn.
This guy's all juiced.
Not just the guy.
You got to give us a 3-2-1.
3-2-1 go.
What the fuck are you doing?
Just give us a 3-2-1 go. We'll start our clock.
Alright, ready?
You got to be behind the tape line.
Behind the tape line.
It doesn't matter. It. It's not gonna happen.
One step back. There you go.
There we go. Ready?
Wow, that's a bad idea to jump on the block
against the wall like that.
Didn't you do that?
No, because my box is way deeper.
Uh-oh, Taylor.
Dude, she has some amazing arms.
I wonder how she got those. Nice. Here you go, Anna. Yeah, she has some amazing arms. I wonder how she got those.
Here you go, Anna.
Yeah, she's not beating me.
I don't know.
Anna's geared up here.
They got a lot of sandbags.
That's a lot of sandbags.
That's like if you guys went to JR.
Super hot Anna is going to make it on pace out of this first round.
32 seconds.
This is number six?
What's the girl who goes to JR's gym, Taylor?
No.
The ball girl?
No.
No.
No.
Oh, no.
Technically, six seconds off pace, Anna.
She regrets it already.
She regrets it already.
Oh, you're fucked.
No, she doesn't.
She's all right.
All right.
All right. All right. All right. All right.. She's all right. All right. All right.
All right.
Her boyfriend's like,
Mars, Mars.
We'll give it to you.
Somebody give me another shot of Cremble on.
Somebody give me another shot of Dianabol.
Her boyfriend looks like,
you know, the guy,
have you ever seen the movie?
Oh!
Wow, busting shins.
Her boyfriend looks like he would fuck me in the ass.
Yeah, he would.
What do you guys think that rope on the wall is there? Is there like a pulley system for the rope lines, you think?
Yeah.
Sebon, Sebon.
Rycen told me about your guys' argument yesterday about anal, and I have to tell you, I completely agree.
Anal grosses me out.
It's disgusting.
Come on.
I'd rather eat a gross bill if I eat.
I'd eat a couple of fingernails.
Peter, shut the...
Peter does anal on himself.
I think someone's a little curious.
They talk about it so much.
Let's go, Anna.
She wants to see what's behind door number two.
Anna, you don't have a shot Wow
First time ever tremendous tremendous
We got a win for Trump this weekend and a fucking big win for kill Taylor grown up to two thousand dollars
Let's take this fucking show on the road. See you guys November 5th. We're taking this country
Tell me you were saying bagging us and just take off.
Let's go, Anna. Sebastian,
Taylor is such a cuck.
Dude can't even hide it.
I'm a fucking cuck for your mom, Sebastian.
Someone pull up this comment so Taylor can lose it.
Fuck you, Sebastian.
Sebastian looks like
he braids his fucking pussy hair.
Let's go, Anna.
Let's go. Come on.
Let's go, Anna. Don's go. Come on. What does that person look like?
Let's go, Anna.
Don't quit.
Taylor Swift.
There you go.
Six.
Come on.
Last one.
There you go, Anna.
Let's go, Anna.
Time to beat 348.
Let's go, girl.
Grant, did you turn the show off yet?
Grant, unfortunately for you and Canada, Trump's taking the fucking W this fall.
Two.
We're good. You got it. Let's go. We're shutting the board down. You don't got it, Anna. Unfortunately for you in Canada
We're shutting down
Don't got it in up that okay valiant effort is
Watch those knees Anna. No Mal O'Brien would not win. She's a quitter
The election or this workout Oh, she definitely wouldn't win the election. Mental health, though.
They don't have box jumps in High Rocks.
Let's go, Anna. No time for the bun.
Look at David Weed's comment.
Wow.
Yeah, David's a lot of hand there.
Yeah, David, how about you go jump off the nearest bridge?
Anna's got to be five foot, just barely over five foot tall.
How high is that walk down?
I hope Sam dances to the cue.
I'd love to make fun of him for that.
36 inches for the girls? How do you guys spell cue?
Yeah.
No, that's not how you're supposed to spell cue.
Come on, Anna, go.
It is what you're talking about, Pewd.
Not coaching Pew.
Just go with the C.
Anna, we're going to make you finish because you're hot.
Finish this up, bro.
Hey, where the fuck is Colton?
Even though she's off pace, our views have gone up.
Weird.
Yeah, she's
really not going to make it, but the views are skyrocketing.
Hey, you think she's going to get stopped here on these handstand pushups? No, she's really not going to make it, but the views are skyrocketing. Hey, you think she's going to get stopped here on these handstand pushups?
No, she's got them.
No, she's good.
Nice.
This is the time.
Oh, yeah.
She's not good.
Not good.
You think she's going to get stopped?
You think she'll go to failure?
She'll do a front rollout?
I think she'll probably fail.
They get really hard.
She's throwing up her body.
Two.
Nice.
What does she need?
Seven?
Come on. Yeah, five more. That was two. Let's go, Anna. She's fuckered. They get really strong upper body to okay, what does she need seven? Yeah
She's fuckers all those other things stacked against the wall back there you let's go
I
Like the way the fit aid in the right-hand corner looks like it's actually in their gym
It's at all 13,000 11,000 10,000
All these idiots in the comments like bring Colton on bring Colton on hey if he called any be here nice
Yeah, hey you hear that guys if he was here he'd be here right
Summon him and that's how you and that's how you talk when you're in the Carolinas
Hey, she's doing great crushing the last one come on she is
Last one, let's go Anna. Oh, I know no, I know we fuck later. Come on Going on You're on pace until you weren't in a great job
Everybody great job. Yeah, you get the applied
Anna Anna great effort great effort
Great Anna come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, girl. Good job.
Hey, that takes
balls.
Hey, you're the only good-looking...
Hey, hold on.
Hold on.
You're the only good-looking thing
that's been on this show in fucking nine
episodes, so thank you.
And hey, listen, tell her
to send me her address so I can come to her house.
I mean, send her a case
Hey, that was impressive girl good job. Hey, what's your what Jim are you at?
Is it a CrossFit gym
Awesome and are you the owner? Oh, I'm not the owner. Oh, it's Nistler's skim.
Nistler?
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Nistler!
Let's go!
Oh, shit.
Oh!
Hell yeah.
Hey.
Tell her she has no chance
and we're glad she didn't waste our time
and she sent her protege.
You're amazing.
Thank you.
I'll let her know.
I'll let her know.
Thank you.
Love you today.
Thanks, Hannah.
Bye, Anne.
She's not repeating that.
Trend baloney Tony.
Trend baloney Tony.
What did Bryson say?
Boyfriend definitely taking the dirt road later.
Jeez.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Okay. For all you guys
piled in the text, I really
appreciate you guys trying to get
on the show. Damn, we saw that many more people, huh?
Two girls.
Yeah. This is by far the
biggest participation base
we've ever had. CrossFit Cervix and CrossFit
Timberland. No female
has ever come close to finishing with Taylor South.
There's your tagline.
That was kind of close.
Colton sent me this video of him doing box jumps.
He said, let me in.
And I commented for him his workout.
Five reps for time.
Three-minute rest between.
All right, guys.
all right guys i i can't thank um better better version nutrition enough i know this is really stressing uh matt suza out because every week it goes it means that it's five hundred dollars more
we have to collect from someone else and it complicates the mess but uh that's where we're at
hey once it goes past two thousand no one gets the money. It automatically goes to the treasury.
And we start back over at zero.
I like this rule.
Carl's HGR CBD.
Thank you.
Toe spacers.
Thank you.
Who was the other one?
Frank Sentinel.
Thank you.
Who else was the other one, Sousa?
Who else was the other one?
Which one?
We got Better Version Nutrition.
We got CBD with Carl
at the Homegrown Recovery.
We have Toast Spacer.
Those are the three for this week.
We'll probably have CBD again.
That's only three.
We have four.
We're at 1,500, brother.
No, but now we're at 2,000.
Toast Spacers, CBD.
Yep, 1,000. Oh, okay. Better Version Nutrition. 1,500 next week. Next week, it's going to be sponsored by Sentinel Training.
No, it's not.
But you guys should go watch our latest tested video.
If you guys want to watch me shoot Tremblone into my butthole while we do dumbbell hang
squat snatches, go watch our latest tested.
Tyler's using one of those Instagram apps.
Oh, listen to this. Listen to this. Look at this. dumbbell hang squat snatches. Go watch our latest test. Tyler's using one of those Instagram apps.
Oh, listen to this.
Listen to this.
Look at this.
What's up with that overlay?
Lisa Gold, Brains and Beauty Marketing.
Hey, listen, I'm telling you,
this is the best marketing person I've seen in the space.
Yeah, Lisa knows how to do it.
You need a job in which you don't get paid for heat one?
Listen, if you crossfit games,
crossfit masters, crossfit, she could promote anything.
She is a world-class relationship expert, and she knows how to do the thing, to promote products, anything, events.
Okay.
Lisa, we'll be in touch.
Thank you.
Casey, thank you so much.
It was an awesome pleasure having you on the show, dude.
All of you guys who tried in, thank you. Thanks for It was an awesome pleasure having you on the show, dude. All of you guys who tried in,
thank you. Thanks for letting us ass-pound you guys.
John Young.
John Young beat me again, guys.
John Young.
The sleeper.
He's like Kim Jong-un,
won every Olympic event, but nobody saw it.
Kim Jong-un.
Do we have any more shows today scheduled? Do we have anything scheduled?
No, not until
tomorrow morning, and then we got a double
feature tomorrow. Let's just keep running it.
What is tomorrow? Tomorrow
will be Shelby Neal, and then we're going to have
Brett on for the affiliate video
contest at 7.45.
Shelby Neal on first, then Brett after.
You want to win the easiest $5,000 ever, or
$3,000 or $2,000? Watch tomorrow's show. Tomorrow, there's two shows back-to-back. We'll go live with Shelby Neal for first and Brett after. You want to win the easiest $5,000 ever or $3,000 or $2,000?
Watch tomorrow's show.
Tomorrow there's two shows back-to-back.
We'll go live with Shelby Neal for like 45 minutes.
Then we'll come down and then we'll go back up.
When that happens, we're going to have Brett on from Salty Hive CrossFit.
And we're going to show you all five of the affiliate commercials,
what we're looking for for people to enter this competition.
A lot of people are not going to enter this.
And it's going to be something else.
Do we have any of those uploaded now by any chance?
I don't think we,
I just think we have them in unlisted links that you've had.
I don't think we have any uploaded to StreamYard.
Oh yeah.
I'll be on Glinton Things podcast tomorrow.
Oh, what time are you doing that?
I'm doing that at 1 PM.
Uh,
Pacific time.
Okay.
Let me,
um,
talk about how uncle Buck got to me.
So if you guys want to be there for that episode, you can check that out.
What,
what drives,
uh,
Matt Sousa?
Uh,
what did you do?
The,
what,
what's your car call to give?
That's what you got to find out tomorrow.
I won.
All right,
guys.
Thank you very much.
Uh,
maybe there'll be a show tonight
Taylor seems like he has a lot
Like he wants to fight with the
Maybe we should do fight with Taylor
A show where we just let him fight with people in the chat
Please dude I'm fucking amped up this week
That's every show that Taylor's on though
There we go
Hey can you guys see my butthole
Yes
Not again
Thank you for joining us on the best show on the internet,
on the best YouTube station on the internet.
Make sure you like and subscribe.
Join and be a CEO member.
Thank you to Fide.
Thank you to Better Vision Nutrition.
Better Vision?
Better Version?
Mm-hmm.
And you can use the QR codes or scroll back in the show
to get the discount codes.
And remember, there's affiliates everywhere.
And it's a life-changing experience.
Hey, I'm John Young.
I'm Krista Pongwart.
This is Tobias Pongwart.
I'm 44, age 7.
I'm originally from Hungary, from Budapest, Hungary, and we go to Salty
Half CrossFit. I was previously at a different gym. I was looking for a new place and came
here. I came during the day when Kiddo was in school. That changed and he had to come
with me. I thought I would have to give it up because I didn't have time.
I don't have anywhere else to put him, I'm a single mom.
The people here were so amazing
and accepting that he was here hanging out.
It just made it easier to continue.
The fact that they welcomed him with open arms
and just kind of brought him into the family was huge.
I've never felt so accepted by a community in this community.
Most places always looked down on me because of my size or lack of capabilities.
And I've never felt that here.
Not one judgment.
So it was very welcoming and made it very easy to come back.