The Sevan Podcast - Kill Taylor Ep. 7 | WIN the Workout, Get $1,500!
Episode Date: June 8, 2024My Tooth Powder "Matoothian": https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice... ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS: Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Scared. She's not scared.
Our first victim is gone. Taylor Self is here. The next victim is waiting in the wing.
Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burpee! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree! Burree. No rep. Burpee!
Burpee, burpee, burpee, burpee, burpee.
Oh my God.
It's this.
It's blind, relentless, constant pursuit of excellence.
That's what it is.
Welcome to Kill Taylor, the greatest show on the internet.
Guys, Born born primitive has been
our sponsor for the last two weeks third week uh they are d day in it today uh bear handling the
ceo of born primitive is on i believe the beaches of normandy today hopefully we send him a link
hopefully at some point uh he will uh get in and we can say hi to him and talk to him for a couple
minutes in just a few seconds uh, Taylor will be doing the workout.
If you do not know the workout, you can go to the Sevan Podcast Instagram,
the Real Sevan Podcast Instagram, or we can tell you the workout right now.
You're going to need a rope for rope climbs, 15-foot rope.
Oh, there it is.
Men, 30, 20, 10, standing biker, cows, damper on 10-3-2-1 unbroken legless rope climbs.
For the women, you got to do fewer calories.
But if you're a woman, you have absolutely zero chance.
The winner will get $1,500.
Since no one will win it, next week the prize will be $2,000.
Don't be afraid to call in.
It's about watching you struggle.
It's not about you winning the money. With the fate of the world on the line, and in direct defiance of tyranny, people from all walks of life dropped everything and answered the nation's call.
They were not warriors. They did not ask for war.
They were just common men and women.
School teachers, nurses, mothers and fathers.
And while these heroes have now grown old and gray, we must still honor them in their final days.
We must still honor them in their final days.
Born Primitive is proud to donate 100% of profits up to $50,000.
The D-Day edition Savage One to the Best Defense Foundation.
These proceeds will directly fund over 60 World War II veterans who are returning to Normandy for the 80th anniversary.
Today, in all days, we honor the sacrifice and bravery of our greatest generation, the damn few.
Shop the cause now at BornPrimitive.com.
Born Primitive Savage Ones, those are the shoes Taylor Self is wearing.
Those are the best cross-fitting shoes anyone could ever wear.
He's also wearing the Born Primitive shirt, the Born Primitive shorts.
It's a fantastic company, Born Primitive.
You go to bornprimitive.com and we'll be showing you some other highlight reels of pictures of their shoes. They're having a special now where you can actually purchase a collector's item limited 500, one of 500 pairs of their shoes.
I'm looking for that commercial.
We'll show that. Yeah, we'll show that in a little bit.
If you want to compete against Taylor today
and pretend like you have a chance of getting the $1,500,
you call 928-583-3903.
Taylor says we're ready to go.
Bryson ready.
Caleb ready.
Caleb, can you send a flag under that flag?
Tyler walked in from the Heat One app.
He gives away more cash than the show
Hiller Fit, guy messaging for all
Of the CrossFit community at
Hiller Fit YouTube station
And then Hiller Fit training
Below
The most creative man in the space
Coffee Pods and Wads, Pedro White
Funny as shit
If you want a link, here we go
Here we go guys
Oh yeah, because there's no bike seat
there is no bike seat
bike seat is off
3
2 1
go
30 cows
under over
on a piece of equipment
I would personally never buy.
Why?
Because I'm a fucking echo bike, assault bike guy.
If it doesn't got handles, you can get the fuck out of here.
But anyway.
No, C2 bike's the way to go, dude.
If you say so.
I'm going to disagree with Tyler on that one.
Pedro, do you own one of those?
I do.
Oh, Jesus.
You're going to trade that thing in front.
Do you have an assault bike or an echo bike?
I do.
Oh, okay. Never mind. You're good to go. Right there. I mean you have an assault bike or an echo bike? I do. Oh, okay.
Nevermind.
You're good to go.
Right there.
I mean, it's like the lower, the lowest barrier to entry piece of equipment.
Like you can do it when you feel like absolute shit, but you can also hurt really bad on
it.
On the C2 bike?
Yeah.
Listen, if you're, listen, listen to everyone out there.
C2 rogue.
Just donate shit to Pedro.
He lives in fucking Ireland.
Charity.
C-H-A-R-I-T-Y.
Have you gotten a pair of Born Primitive shoes yet, Pedro?
I did.
I bought them myself, but I did, yeah.
Oh, shit.
What are you doing just sitting there looking?
What was that stall?
All right, here we go.
How are these going to look?
Now, look at the rope climbs, guys.
He's way below 350.
It's going to be like 320.
He did not. Notice he did not touch the ground.
You are not allowed to touch the ground.
You get below the tape line.
Does he have to get below the tape line?
Yeah.
Are you allowed to touch the ground?
No?
No.
It's the ones that were at 5150.
Oh, people are screwed.
No one has a chance.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the thing.
No one's supposed to win the money.
Just sit back and enjoy the show today, people.
Round one done. I heard that him beat him with one leg.
Janet Dias-Nelson was going to call in, and then he saw the bike sounded, and he's not.
Who? Who?
Janet Dias-Nelson.
Round two, 20 cows on the whatever that bike is, seatless bike, and two rope climbs, legless rope climbs.
Sabre and Kelly, no one is calling in.
Drake Lewis, no one is calling in.
Thank you.
Wow.
That's dangerous.
The women have less calories, but it really doesn't matter
because I don't think anyone's going to be able to do this second set of rope climbs
the way he's going to do them.
Maybe the first.
Can girls even climb ropes?
Some can. Okay, okay okay i wasn't even sure
the chick from brazil can climb a rope real well she's fantastic about five seconds hey isn't alex
gazan who's the best female rope climber in the crossfit who's going to the games gazan gazan
now she might have a shot but it like her rope climb just will not be that fast hey maybe we should remove a rope climb for the girls nah nah i know i was joking of course not
no you weren't no i was i was all right we're gonna go patrick clark says someone call angelo
to chico and get him to do this listen Angelo is too chunky these days to do this. Yeah. Chunky?
Yeah. Mayhem can ride a bike.
Oh, shit.
Taylor's struggling on the second rope climb.
Oh, Nelly. Come on, buddy.
All right. Now imagine you were a woman.
So he just touched the gray spot?
Correct. Wow.
Oh, he's hurting.
He's hurting.
I think you can jump.
Can you jump or do you have to start below the tape line? No, just stay low. I like that. He's hurting. The gray spot. I think you can jump. Of course.
Can you jump or do you have to start below the tape line?
No,
just say hello.
What's the answer to that?
No,
you can jump.
You can jump.
Okay.
Yeah.
Jump on the first one.
Let's see how he does this last rope.
Taylor has slowed down tremendously.
This is the final round.
10 cows on the,
uh,
on the C2 bike.
It's got a nice bit of shake in his muck there.
And then one final rope climb.
We're at 335, 336.
Dexter Field names the workout Ass Blaster 2000.
Final rope climb.
Let's go.
Where are you going?
Oh, my God.
It's one, dude.
Oh, what a jerk. Hey, beatable? It's one, dude. What a jerk.
Hey, beatable. It's beatable, guys.
$1,500. I take everything back.
Completely beatable.
Time.
$59.
$58.
I would give him $58.
You just saw it.
Taylor agrees with me.
Three rope climbs without touching the ground.
30 cows on the bike.
Three rope climbs without touching the ground.
Look at him.
OCD motherfucker already putting the rope away.
He's just trying to act like he ain't tired.
We saw you take that break after 10 calories, dude.
Bryson.
Yep. What'd you think about his last chalk up there are we losing the money
because of that fucking ding dong move uh i don't think so i think if you didn't have to come down
legless or like you know get to below the tape line i think he wouldn't have needed chalk on
the last one but just because you have control on the way down too and he already looked like
pretty tired and close on that. I think he probably needed that
Something pumped
What was he holding on the bike?
For the 30 calories. He was like 2,000 and then for the 20 he was like 12
Spiegel could win this you're right. There's a handful of people I put Spiegel in. Spiegel couldn't do the third legless rope
climb like that. There's no way. She could
barely do one.
Great question, Anthony
Martorano. Do you have
to go hand over hand on the way down or just stop below the
tape line? Just stop below the tape line.
And for all you ding-dongs who are about to say,
we just saw him do it at the semifinals.
That wasn't a 15-foot rope at the semifinals.
13 feet, 7 inches.
We've gotten
a real crazy tour of this gym this time.
Did you see the fridge? Look at all this merch.
928
583 3903.
Go ahead and text. I'll send you a link.
You can come on.
I want
that tie-dye.
I love that tie-dye. I love that.
The holy night of my quote.
No.
Okay.
Taylor Self, nice work, buddy.
Nice, nice work.
You've scared everyone away. Can you guys hear me? Yeah, good job. You've scared everyone away.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah, good job.
You've scared everyone away.
I did?
Yeah.
No, there's no way in hell anyone's going to do that.
Hey, Caleb, I don't see the limited edition Born Primitive ad uploaded here.
Caleb, I don't see the limited edition Born Primitive ad uploaded here.
The one for the shoe that's $300 where you get the sand from Normandy and the ammo box.
Should I ask someone to upload it?
I think we only had a vertical one.
No, no. We have the one that just advertises just the coming out of the shoe.
Okay, I'll go look for it.
Okay.
How was it?
Incredibly hard.
I've been, like, the week at West Coast and the week before that, the parallel handstand push-up,
I've been writing workouts that I'm like,
I don't know if I can do this or in the moment I think I can do it.
And then I get closer and I'm like,
damn,
I don't know if I can do that.
So that was extremely hard.
This,
the set of two,
I was like close to failure.
Did you test that before?
I did a set of three.
I did some touch and go last week before semis.
Came up with the workout on Sunday or Monday with Bryson.
And then, oh, I think we came up with it Sunday, midday.
So that's the headspace you were in when you came up with it?
What headspace?
You were basically that you weren't going to the crossfit games and you made up this workout on the day you found out no face
if i was going to the crossfit games it wouldn't have changed anything i would still be doing this
i'm not suggesting it would have i'm suggesting timeline of when you made the workout up
sunday after you had come home and you were licking your wounds you came up with this workout
sunday i came up with the workout while i was competing oh while you were competing yeah we were competing on the snatch
ladder he goes you know what i should do on thursday exactly you should be more focused
when you're competing you should eat my cuter uh since taylor isn't going to the games i don't know
a few people might drop out we're hearing rumors that two people are going to drop out
and Taylor will be moved up
Taylor isn't going to the games
he no longer has the excuse that he needs
programming that fits his training
let someone else do the programming
shut up no the stupid idea
listen
we don't want you to
oh wait who suggested that
who who
clock
hey clock Oh, wait. Who suggested that? Who? Who? Clock. Let's just give away $500 a week.
Put Clock back up.
Hey, Clock.
Hey, Clock, you stupid fuck.
Wherever you are, wherever you're watching from,
unplug your headphones so your fucking boss can hear this.
You're a fucking idiot.
Hey, boss, fire this dumb motherfucker.
The whole premise of the show is that I don't get any money.
The money only goes to other people,
so it has to be as hard as possible for them.
We're not giving away free fucking money, dumbass.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You named a broken clock.
All of them are free, though, isn't it?
And go buy some Savage Ones. They're the best trainers, dude.
Especially these gum bottoms.
Oh, you got dog shit on the bottom there.
No, there's no dog shit i haven't stepped in poop in years i'm so proud i stepped in shit at uh jr's competition oh that's uh it was his own you guys don't know in fact there's not one
person more afraid of shit on the planet than seven on it oh my god really yeah yeah over to
my house all i do is walk around and pick up make sure there's no shit around for his kids to step
in for him to step in i poop bags and poop bags go through the wash every single time i do the
wash because i always have poop bags in my pocket uh uh caroline uh carla vanilla ice
Uh, uh, Caroline, uh, Carla vanilla ice.
Holy shit.
Taylor D bag D bag.
Don't be a dick clock.
Suck off.
She got both of you.
Uh, when you, when, when you, um, uh, in the third round you chalked up, was that a necessity?
I chalked up both the second and third.
And that was just for, did you need the chalk or you were just trying to buy a few seconds? I think when you have like really tacky chalk on
your hands, it makes going up a lot easier on a rope. You feel like you use less effort. Oh baby.
I'd imagine the humidity is crazy right now in Charlotte anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, with a time of 3.58, Mr. Kevin Schultz
tries to... Yeah, right.
What's up, guys?
You ready, baby?
I literally just walked in the gym
and Large Marge told me I have to do this
workout. Large Marge?
How are your rope climbs?
I like rope climbs. Okay,
and you know you can't touch your feet at the bottom.
Yeah, so I literally walked in.
What measurement do I need?
You need a 60-inch tape line from the floor.
Okay.
And on each legless, you have to ascend and descend
until both hands are beneath that tape line, including the last rep.
How high is the top?
15.
How high is the top, 15?
15, yep.
And then biker's got to be a damper 10,
no seat, and you got to reset your monitor.
Okay.
No seat.
Hey, listen, and if you're close, we'll let it go.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't like that.
Oh, here's Large Marge. Say hi, Large Marge.
Yo, girl, what's up?
Large.
Hey, if you fucking beat me, tell Large Marge
that we're no longer friends with her.
Whoa,
whoa.
Why are we no longer friends with large Marge?
Cause we can't be recommending people who have a chance of beating me onto
the show.
That's dumb.
True.
Good point.
If you're really,
really shit,
the same rule applies.
I've been watching.
I've just been waiting for a legless workout.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Wow.
Damn. Look at it.
Man, he's been fast.
Kevin, how much do you weigh?
I'm 205.
Look how big his arms are.
They're as big as his fucking head.
Oh, we lost him.
Bye.
Oh, he's back.
Two weight, bro.
I thought he quit.
How much do you weigh, Taylor?
Probably 200 right now. I'm fat.
It was like a buck 80, buck 85.
Stop that.
All right, vertical or horizontal?
Horizontal.
Horizontal, please.
You can jump on the first rope climb.
You need a biker.
I think he's got one, doesn't he?
Kevin, did you hear that?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I thought it was a roar. Sorry
nice, we're gonna have to go with
Hey Kevin come back picture just really improves Kevin come back come back
Help me reset the screen. Yeah for sure
You can jump on the first rope climb, homie.
I'm jumping.
Okay.
Oh, I'm jumping.
You got to descend below the tape.
Your assistant can hold your butt on the way down, too.
Yes.
Anything else I need to know?
You're not going to do this.
Even on the last rope climb, you got to descend below the line.
Even on the last one?
Yeah, so you can't, like, do your third one and drop.
You got to come all the
way below the tape and uh probably face us too so we can see the tape line yeah and then if your
feet hit the ground if your feet hit the ground before your hands are beneath the tape that would
be a that'd be a no rep cool it's a pretty simple workout but you will need to solve a rubik's cube
right at the end they gotta be unbroken right you right at the end. Taylor, they got to be unbroken,
right? You got to do all three, all two?
Yeah, they have to be unbroken.
All right. Let's hope he heard that part, too.
Because we know he didn't watch you do it.
340 what?
3432.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
358.
358. Kevin, you're in great whoa. 358. 358.
Kevin, you're in great shape.
That t-shirt was doing you no favors.
Dude, he's a fake guy.
You're going to get a rope burn, buddy.
You're going to get a rope burn.
All right.
We live without that noble headband, though.
That's for sure.
Fuck me, dude.
If this guy beats me, I'm fucking going to lose it.
Hey, no one who wears any noble shit will ever beat Taylor.
I pray to fucking God.
Oh, that's the other stick.
When I see that noble, I just think that he's vaxxed.
That's all I think.
Is that guy wearing an HWPO shirt?
Hey, get out of the shot.
Get out of the shot.
Yeah. I think that's his dad, dude. Is that guy wearing an HWPO shirt? Hey, get out of the shot. Get out of the shot.
Yeah.
I think that's his dad, dude.
We don't market that freaking stinky poo-poo company.
Oh, look at Angelo in the chat.
This isn't a Noble shirt.
It's a Koga shirt, by the way.
Look at Angelo.
Fuck off, Angelo.
Let's fucking put your money where your mouth is, bro. We're off.
We're off.
I wonder if you heard the part where I called him chunky.
I think that's what he means by he's all caught up.
Who'd you call chunky?
Look at the top of his calf.
Yeah, geez.
Oh, Taylor's screwed. This guy's got way better calves than him.
Does that mean Angelo also thinks he's chunky?
Because he didn't disagree.
Hey, when did he get off the bike?
59 seconds.
Were you going hard on the bike, Taylor?
I'm going pretty hard.
UK is pretty hard.
Caleb, did we find the video that shows the can and the sand and all that?
The can and the sand.
No, he's not doing it, Marge. Settle down.
Get your panties in a twister.
Don't get all wet for your boy.
I don't know, dude. He's on pace.
Oh, he is definitely on pace.
He's on pace.
He's on pace.
That rope is going to hurt him.
Oh, shit.
Oh, Nelly. Oh, shit. Oh, Nelly.
Oh, no.
He's like a rat off a drain pipe.
Oh, no. He is nice.
Wait, wait, wait. You just wait.
Yeah, let's do this.
Oh, Nelly.
How fast is this going to go? Oh, we're
slowing down.
128 is when he came off the rope.
128 is when he came off?
Yeah.
$1,500.
You're on pace, dude.
Let's go.
I'm pacing.
It's going to be all about that last one.
You got to go faster than that.
The back of his knees is ridiculous.
Yeah.
Kevin, now is not the time to be a pussy.
Dude, he's biking harder than me.
Looks like he's biking harder.
He trains the back of his knees.
Don't you?
I'm tripping.
I want to start.
I'm going to start.
He does accessory work on the back of his knees.
Yeah, what is that?
What would that exercise be?
Glue the ham raises.
The time to beat, 358.
It's 30 cows on the bike.
348. 234 is when Taylor came off the bike right here beat 358 It's 30 cows on the bike 348
It's 358 buddy
Oh no we're paused
Come on
30 cows on the bike
3 rope ascents legless
Can't touch the bottom when you go back down
So it's unbroken
20 then 2 then 10 then 1
The time to be 358.
Something weird's going on
with this biking. 127.
127.
He said, oh no.
Oh no.
What are you doing? Come on.
Fuck you. Are you
cheering for him, Peter? Shut the fuck up.
Oh, that was a up! Not my money.
Oh, that was a good defense.
Stay strong, bro. Stay strong.
Oh, no!
Oh!
Oh!
I did not
see that coming. No, man.
Amazing round one.
Amazing round one.
If that was a one-round workout, you'd kill us.
That was harder than expected.
What just happened?
Hey, listen, buddy.
You're not a semifinals athlete.
Yes, he is.
Oh, he is?
Yes.
Oh, all right.
Well, then you shouldn't be.
I've been around since Andrew was a semifinals athlete.
Wow.
Maybe you should get on what Andrew's on.
Yeah, you need some TRT.
Good idea.
Good idea. Good idea.
How do you train the back of your knees like that?
You ever see the back of my knees?
They look sick.
Watch this back after.
The back of my knees?
Yeah, you've got like 15 extra tendons that nobody else has.
You got UPS calves.
What gym are you at?
What gym are you at, Kevin?
Kota CrossFit. We're in Colorado.
Awesome. Hey, thanks for coming on, Udaman.
See you next week.
All right.
Hey, I tagged Alice Kazan. Where the fuck is she at?
She's not coming. Claire!
Hey, guys.
What's up, girl?
How you doing?
Claire representing Born Primitive.
I didn't know you were hot Claire Holy shit
I try my best
Damn I'm going to be nicer to you when I talk to you on the phone
You definitely don't
Claire please meet Andrew Hiller
At the top below him Pedro White
Then the great Taylor Self
The great Taylor Self like what you're repping
And at the very bottom in the green shirt
From the Heat One app Tyler Watkins Are we going to get bear on today unfortunately he's actually at a memorial
service in normandy france for the 80th anniversary of d-day today so unlikely but it depends how long
you go so hopefully i'm in his stead for now okay great and there were 500 um 500 limited pairs of shoes that came with all the accoutrements.
Are there any of those still available?
There are none available.
We sold through all of the collector's editions.
Damn.
It was super, super cool.
But we do still have the D-Day edition Savage 1.
I can tell you they are selling like hotcakes.
So really, really cool moment for Born Primitive.
They've got a lot of really neat features. They've got Operation Overlord on the heel, the date and time that they arrived on the
beaches of Normandy, damn few up on the tow box as well. So you can always be thinking about
the guys who sacrificed it all that day. And it's just a really cool moment for Born Primitive. We
really appreciate the support.
And in the entire, many, many of your employees are veterans, right? And it's veteran owned.
Yes, veteran owned. We have a lot of veterans who work here, former first responders, as well as a number of military spouses as well. So just a really important moment for Born Primitive to
give back. So 100% of profits up to 50k from this D-Day Savage One are being donated
to the Best Defense Foundation, which is an organization that supports war heroes and their
families. So they're actually the ones who are taking 60 World War II veterans over to Normandy
this year for the 80th, where they'll be celebrated and recognized. That's where Bear is, as well as
Bruno Fallon, who's our head of tactical operations, and then one of our other employees is as well as Bruno Fallon who's our head of tactical operations And then one of our other
Employees as well as over there my can
Bear's brother and all the guys
In the videos that we see all the fun videos
Of the helicopters and the gun shooting those are
All veterans also correct yes
Correct special operations veterans
Bear has been in a number of them of course
And then so has Bruno as well
And you guys are based out of
Virginia Beach Yes Virginia Beach?
Yes. Virginia Beach. Correct. And another thing, because I know a lot of people will comment on,
they'll be like, where are these made? Where are these made? Born Primitive is in the process of
making a facility in the United States of America and bringing manufacturing to the states. Isn't
that correct? It's definitely in talks. Yes.
Awesome.
You hear that Mike Alpin? Fuck you, Mike Alpin.
Yeah. Hey, Oh, I think we might even have bear on Claire. Hold on a second.
Let me see.
All right, let's get them on.
Let me see what's going on here. We might have bear on. Hold on bear.
Hold on. I think we got you.
This wasn't a Mickey mouse operation operation I'd have you on already
Hold on
Everybody else's voice is about to deepen
About three octaves
Yeah
Not mine
No, yours is good
I thought she was going to do the workout
Yeah, I was like
Oh, move
Savan, you're muted.
You sound very silly.
Claire, do you do CrossFit?
I used to.
Yeah, I was actually a coach back in the day.
Okay.
Yep.
Can you climb a rope?
You know, I could, but here's the deal, guys.
I'm 6'1", so Cross so cross a little hard on my limbs
um yeah so we won't take yes six one you're basically you're basically at the top of the
rope like you're taller than everyone on this show peter's a fucking midget tyler's at five two
dude i'm six i'm six foot how is that no way you're six foot to me let was at a midget. Oh, shut up, dude. You're not six foot. No way you're six foot. Midget to me.
Let's be real.
Midget to me, right?
Yeah.
Right.
I was a really good rower, though.
I bet you played basketball.
I didn't.
Volleyball.
Hand-eye coordination.
I ran.
I was an endurance athlete.
Hello?
Can you guys hear me?
Now we can, yeah.
Hold on.
Not you.
Hold on.
You hold on.
We're interviewing.
Hold on one second. Hold on. You hold on. We're interviewing. Hold on one second.
In front of the firing squad.
Can I see?
Now he's muted us again.
What's your favorite colorway of the Savage Ones?
Favorite colorway for me is white gum.
That's what Taylor's got on.
Looks super, super sharp.
I've got the black gum on the back of his head.
The black gum's definitely the best seller.
Everybody loves the black gum.
Yeah, you can't go wrong with black gum.
I just bought some of the newer stuff
to live free or die shirt.
There you go.
Something about the texture of that shirt
is freaking incredible.
I don't know what you guys changed,
but it's amazing.
Oh, Jack Farlow's in the chat.
He wants to do it. Oh, wow. amazing oh Jack Farno's in the chat he wants to do it
oh wow
Jack Farno you're in the chat
get out of the fucking chat and call in
ding dong
I don't know dude
you think he could do it you're a little heavy Jack
legs are a little big
quads are a little bloated
dude I don't know if you got to do it now, Jack. Quads are a little bloated. Dude, I don't know if you got it, bro.
Tempting.
I'm going to go with no on far low.
I don't know.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah.
Yes.
You're on the room, Mike.
My computer, Mike.
Can you guys hear me?
No, we can't.
Yeah, what are we waiting for?
Sevan, what are you doing?
I think my roadcaster crashed, and you're not going to believe this, Claire.
That was not Bear, but that was Yella Hosta.
That was Yella Hosta and Victor Hoffa.
And Yella's coming on to ask Hound Taylor and take the fucking Bourne Primitive money.
By the way, Claire, if the show's ever to crash, I glad you're on it so people because i'm sure you kept everyone's attention
oh boy i hope not you did she's not hand-eye coordinated she didn't use her height to her
advantage in sports we learned a lot you know awesome guys the height came in handy in other
ways all right why how tall are you six one one oh my goodness oh my god i jumped oh have you
gotten to meet any of the uh the vets that they're taking over to normandy i haven't gotten to
personally meet them but um we've had a podcast with a handful and um just been doing stuff behind
the scenes that's kind of where i live they're all super cool um I've not met a World War II vet that wasn't amazing to talk
to. Claire, we love having
you on. Time to get back
to the show. You're awesome. Thank you. Thank you for all
your support. You're my favorite person to work
with. Thank you. Tell Bear, thank you.
Will do. Thank you guys so much. And Taylor, we hope
you win. Ciao.
Bye, Claire.
Claire from...
Does he even speak English
I can see English
who's going first
can we do a dub
oh they're at a weightlifting camp
hey gentlemen
congratulations for qualifying for the games
not you Yana you didn't qualify no, congratulations for qualifying for the games. Not you, Yana.
You didn't qualify.
No, no.
We don't care about the tape measure.
Just tape the lines.
Tape the lines.
No, I mean, they got to be the right measurements,
but we're only measuring it if you guys win.
Yeah, okay.
Wait.
Camera, camera horizontal.
Wouldn't you want them to be sure they're going to win if they do win?
Hiller, Hiller, Hiller. Wouldn't you want them to be sure they're going to win If they do win Listen we already have a language
Fucking barrier
But Victor Hoffer is making an entry
Victor turn the phone horizontal
Victor you can't do the women's
Numbers you gotta do the men's numbers
Sorry
You have to do the men's numbers You can't do the women's numbers. You got to do the men's numbers. Sorry?
You have to do the men's numbers.
You can't do the women's numbers on the bike.
You have to do you guys.
I know you're European, but you got to still do the men's numbers.
Fuck you, Sloan.
Hey, we can't send money to Europe.
Sorry?
We can't send money to Europe, dude.
It doesn't work.
So you guys are playing for a gentleman's handshake.
Really?
Victor doesn't understand sarcasm.
No, not really. Of course. Come on, man. Turn the camera sideways. Let's go.
They just put everything
right. We are on the box and the workout is here
so it's very loud. When it's ready, I just came
inside and I stopped.
That's what your dad said.
Okay.
You know his dad, dude?
Yeah, I know he came inside.
Does Yellow Hostay know the rope climbs
have to be unbroken?
Yeah, you know.
He's a little big for that.
Hey, Victor.
Could you give the phone to someone who speaks
English?
Thank you. Love you.
I speak English.
No, shut up. You do not.
No, you do not. You. I speak English. No, shut up. You do not. No, you don't.
No, you do not.
You do not speak English.
Why are you talking to him like he's a cabbie?
Oh, my God.
Hey, Victor.
Yep.
Hey, how many girlfriends do you have, dude?
One girlfriend.
Come on, dude.
You know why all the boys hate on you?
Because you fucking take all the girls.
That's when it comes down to it at the end of the day.
I know it rains pussy on you, dude.
I know. We all know it.
The show isn't about being nice, dude.
He is the pussy that rains on himself.
Goddamn, dude.
These guys are going to fuck me up. This sucks.
No, he's not. Hey, dude, listen.
Yellow Host is a fucking Jolly Green Giant.
He chokes on the last rope.
Jolly.
Now all I have to do is make fun of him.
I don't have any other...
Hey, you know who's with them is Eric.
You know, the get back to the bar.
You know that guy.
He's cool.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And don't do it.
Can you make sure the radio is turned off too, please?
The music.
Yeah, I know.
Please turn off the music, please.
I don't think he's using his accent anymore.
Yeah, that's not how that works.
It does work.
Actually, Hillary, it works when I talk to Taylor.
Oh.
I don't even...
Oh, I just got a text from Born Primitive.
They'll only send half the money out of the country.
What is Jelly Jing Jong doing?
Where's your guy?
Jelly Jing Jong.
Oh, here he is.
Here he is.
Tell him to take that bite scene out.
God, he's long.
Hey, tell him to take out that bite.
There you go.
Victor, can you turn your phone sideways?
Just turn me on a little bit.
Turn you off.
Turn me on too.
It was all seductive.
Wait, are we going at the same time
or is this just Jelly?
Is Victor doing the workout?
No, just Yada.
They're all three going to do it and beat your time together. Or is this just Jelly? Is Victor doing the workout? No, just Yara.
They're all three going to do it and beat your time together.
No, just Jelly's doing it.
Listen, he has no chance.
He's going to feel the pain here in a second.
I don't know, dude.
I don't know.
The plan is when you start the chrono, we start on the same time?
Yeah. You just start.
Don't worry about us, dude.
You deal with yourself.
Thank you. So we't worry about us dude. You could just deal with yourself. Thank you
So we need to show down now. Oh, he's on pace
Y'all know could you calm down you look a little too happy, bro. Yeah
What's up? What's up with you? I know. Why didn't he make the games? Is this herpes flare-up gone away? Oh my god, dude
Don't make fun of Yanni.
He's not even trying to beat me, dude.
Make fun of this fucking big jaw motherfucker.
All right, let's go, dude. I'm ready for this shit to start.
Look how much head this dude fucking has.
God damn.
He looks like my penis.
He looks like my penis.
10% shaft, 90% mushroom cap.
No, we don't care, Yana. We don't care.
If he wins, we'll go. Yana, we know
you're five feet tall. We know where that
is perfect. Thank you.
Holy shit.
That was pretty good. You're right, yeah.
Perfect. Are you stressed out, Jella?
Are you stressed out?
Are you stressed out, Jella?
He should be.
You look stressed.
You don't have any worries.
You look excited.
He's going to get beat by a fucking guy who didn't even make it to the games.
Guys, we got to see.
Okay, here we go.
Yep.
This is a battle between Europe and China.
We got to see that.
We got to see that, Victor.
Don't let the clock go out of frame.
And then that way we can sync the clock.
Shut up.
Three, 2, 1
Go Caleb
Alright now we just want to see the rope climbs
Hold still everyone
We don't need to see the clock anymore Victor
Hold still
Hold still everyone
30 cows on the C2 bike
3 rope climbs up and down
Do you want to see the 30 cows
No no no
USA
USA Without you want to see the surgical no no no that's right USA USA USA
Hey way too slow tell him he's going to show Victor. Oh, dude, I think he's going fast
Yeah, he's probably pushing 3k right now
Yeah, my brother was at D-Day.
Dude, I'm nervous as fuck, Spin.
Shut up.
You're looking at a legend, Yonikoski, been to the games, got it 100 times.
Yellow host, up-and-coming future of the CrossFit sport.
Yellow's on the bike, 30 cows, three rope climbs, 20 cows, two rope climbs. 10 cows, one rope climb.
You're not allowed to touch the ground on the descent.
The time to beat is 3.58.
He's not right.
He's four seconds behind.
Oh, my God.
Let's go, Jetta.
Holy shit, dude.
Nice.
Not that nice.
I don't know, homie.
Mr. Schuess looks better.
Look at that descent.
Wow.
Mr. Schuess looked better.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. No, he's good. Mr. Shoots looked better. Uh-oh.
No, he's good.
120.
Big yellow.
Five seconds ahead.
He's not five seconds ahead, Tyler.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut up, Redneck.
He's a head of ace.
Henry Capilano as well.
It's like all of Europe got together to beat Taylor.
Yeah, fuck Europe.
USA! USA!
No, shut up! Shut up!
Fuck you, yellow. Victor, no cheering.
You have to talk shit to him only.
Oh, that was perfect.
Holy shit, I'm tripping.
Come on, Yota.
Get that fucking camera guy out of the way.
No, no, no, that's good.
Content creator, stay there.
Does that guy have a media pass?
Hey, camera guy, move.
Is that Shane Orr?
That's Rios216, dude? He's no on pace right now
These are the seconds where he lost it these are lost it. Yeah, oh baby he got that. Oh baby. This is it. AHHHHH!
Come on, Niel!
30 seconds ahead.
I'm gonna push you to the top, bro.
Oh, he's talking about France, this fucking serious shit.
Oh wow, he's got a whole minute to do this.
Yes.
15... Hey, he doesn't understand you, Victor.
He doesn't understand you.
He speaks French too, Savan. He's talking about you.
No, he doesn't. I like him. He doesn't.
Savan, he's talking about you. No, he doesn't. I like him. He doesn't.
Savan, he's talking about you.
Is he choking or something?
It's 58 seconds till he wins the 15.
Oh, my god.
1,500 bucks.
Oh, Nelly.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
Yes.
Who taught you how to do that, Spiegel?
Ah!
Yeah! Oh, he's just out of the half light and hold as well. How the fuck do I do that, Spiegel? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHLL Oh my god.
It doesn't count.
You're not in America, dude.
Jela, tell me, the second rope climb, did you have concerns
feeling that second descent? Were you like, uh-oh, this last round could be a problem for me?
Well, we just finished like a 40 minutes workout team workout oh shut up
minutes ago so I had a bit of problems but otherwise would have been easier um
you beat him by almost 40 seconds he had 358 and I want to say you had like 318. I mean, you did it no problem. Yeah, that's why he went to games.
Yeah, my brother's over at the thing.
That's right.
Hey, Gelo, when did you see, when you saw,
did you see the workout when we posted it at 8.30?
No, I had a friend texting me.
Michiel, thank you.
He said, you probably can beat this. And I tried
to put Yone into doing it, but yeah, he chickened out and then I had to do it.
Very nice. Were you a wrestler?
No, judo.
Okay.
And Jelle, did you know when you saw it that you would kill it? Were you like, oh, my God, I love the bike, I love the rope?
I was pretty confident that so far was possible.
Hey, did you say you have a friend named Michel that's a boy?
Michel, yeah, that's a boy.
All right, start calling him Michael, okay?
Okay, Michael, it's fine.
Michael, there you go.
He's probably watching right now. There you go. All right, buddy. him Michael, okay? Okay, Michael. It's fine. Michael, there you go. He probably isn't watching right now.
There you go.
All right, buddy.
Hey, that's incredible.
We really appreciate you coming on the show and ruining it.
Thank you.
Hey, Yala, enjoy your 250 euro.
The exchange rate is pretty shit, so...
What did you say?
The exchange rate is pretty shit, so enjoy your 250 euro.
It's going to be great.
Hey, Jella, do you have – do we have – I think we have each other's phone numbers, right?
Yeah, I texted you, but you didn't reply.
I know Nivelle managed to get you on the phone.
She did that on purpose.
Don't worry.
No, but do you have my personal text message?
Do you have my personal phone?
Oh, yeah.
Here it is. Hey, I'm texting you right now. I just texted you right now. Do you have your personal text message? Do you have my personal phone? Oh, yeah. Here it is.
Hey, I'm texting you right now.
I just text you right now.
Do you have your phone with you?
No.
Okay.
Hey, look at your phone and then text me.
Do you guys Venmo in Europe?
How do you guys get money in Europe?
Do you guys Venmo or Zelle or whatever?
No, PayPal.
PayPal.
We'll figure it out.
Okay.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
How many grapes can you fit in your mouth
have you ever tried that
no no
I'm not too much into that thank you
okay
it's not it's not a use of a euphemism yet
it was a genuine question
hey
thanks for doing this tell Yana
and Victor thank you so much.
And tell Hapalina thank you.
We love you guys.
You guys make the show.
Thank you.
We make the show.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Hey, you all.
Hey, how come Carl Goodmanson's not there?
Is he washed up?
Where's BKG?
You don't invite him to that shit?
He wasn't invited.
He's too cool.
Ask him.
Ask him.
All right. All right too cool. Ask him. He enjoys Iceland too much.
All right.
All right, guys.
Thank you.
All right. I'm depressed.
Thank you for the test.
Yep.
See you next week.
Oh, yeah.
Pick him off.
Hey, listen to Alex.
I knew I could beat Taylor.
Not sure about yellow.
Bullshit, Alex.
Hey, Alex, if you come on and beat 348,
if Alex Kazan comes on and beats 348, I'll send her 500 bucks.
Who had 348?
I got 358.
Oh, I was 358. All right, whatever.
Oh, my God.
Just kidding. I take it back. I thought I was 348.
Alex is starting to sound a bit like John Young.
Oh, I beat that time, but I just didn't't record it or i don't want to show anyone wow kazan is the john
young of the women i never thought i'd hear that hey can you cut 40 seconds off that taylor i
biked pretty slow in the second and third round but i felt like i needed it to go up the rope
oh my god hey that's a good idea.
You know what I'm going to do,
Patrick?
I'm going to fart.
I'm going to put the money in a brown bag and then fart in it and then seal
it off and mail it to him.
Can I,
can I buy one of them as well?
Yeah.
You can get one from Spiegel on eBay.
That's on her Instagram subscription service.
So,
so we still haven't made it to $2,000.
Did you not say the purpose of this show, Tanner, was that you don't lose?
Peter, Peter, Peter.
There are a handful of words that I've really made a strong oath to never say again,
and you're fucking testing me on every single one of them right now.
Savage Ones, in stock.
Get them now.
Great shoe, great sponsor.
Been a great supporter of the show.
If it wasn't for them, there's so many things that we wouldn't have been able to do up to this point.
They helped us with the live open streams.
They helped us with the quarterfinal streams.
They're helping us with Kill Taylor.
Just a great company.
Aligned pretty damn perfectly on our values.
They sent us the beautiful Claire this morning, which was really cool.
So, thank you.
Next week, we will be on it Saturday, correct?
Yes. Okay.
Are you planning on winning next week, or what's the story
with that? Well, dude, between
fucking Yellow Host and Colton,
what am I going to program, dude? A midget
beats me in one, and a fucking
38-foot-tall ding-dong beats me in another.
I know.
Isn't that interesting that it's two outliers that have come onto the show?
The anthropometry is benefiting them.
Hey, what if you would have added more reps?
Oh.
Like you made 3-2-2-1 or 3-2-2.
Oh, shit.
I don't know, dude.
It didn't look like you were coming close to failing,
but he slowed down, sure as hell.
It felt like I was coming close to failing.
Maybe I just need to not be such a puss.
Hey, can anyone in the world beat him, or is that it?
I thought Victor was doing it.
I think Victor would have a shot.
I bet JR could beat him.
You serious?
I don't think – yeah, 100% JR could beat him. I don't think Victor could beat him. Seriously? I don't think – yeah, 100% JR could beat him.
I don't think Victor could beat him.
I think if Victor could have beat me, he would have been the one that did it.
Perhaps.
Well, did you hear what he said?
He said Janikowski was going to do it, and then at the last minute changed his mind.
And they had just done a workout.
I just did a workout too, and I coached the 530 and the 7.
I did next week's sentinel conditioning, which is, for time, 200-calorie row,
200-calorie biker, partition as desired.
The workout that Yellow Hosta and Taylor did, and one other guy named Kevin,
there it is, 30-20-10 standing biker, and then 3-2-1 unbroken legless rope climbs,
15-foot rope, yellow hose.
In all honesty, what do you think about that performance?
Are you just completely blown away?
Did you think that was possible, a 3-10 or whatever he got?
Yeah.
Honestly, I thought I was going to be under 3-30.
I just slowed way down on the bike.
Barry McCaulkin, our next week will be Taylor versus JR.
And you know who could beat you? Taylor,
Taylor Wade.
He could probably meet me in that.
Uh,
it's yeah,
he,
he definitely good.
My bike pace.
Yeah.
My bike pace fell so much on the 20.
I did 2000,
then 1200.
And I think you'll say,
I think you'll host it at 2000,
1800.
And that was where all this time was made up.
It, to me, it didn't look like he was pedaling that fast i mean he got he got off the bike after you i think on the first round two
seconds after you he got off the bike about the same time on the first one and then the second
one he went so fast yeah my burns right helping could be taylor on this yeah yeah that's that's
fair yeah anything involving opening your mouth and sucking cock,
Helping would probably take the W, I would say.
Oh, I'd give him a lot of money.
Is this Matthew in the chat?
No, Matthew.
No.
That's even more Matthew.
Yeah, he throws you 24.1 every week.
I'm just going to do more burpees
and hopefully make them in a way where colton doesn't have a
chance because there's something you have to be really tall to do simultaneously burpee over
uh i gotta do uh so are you have you thought of next week's workout already no one at a time bro
one at a time hey and and the fact that every time someone beats you does that fuck with you
you're like okay i should have done this i should have done that to help you tweak your programming
are you running out of movements i think i'm no i'm not running out of movements i think i'm just
learning like i've never done this before this is my seventh time right right well is this week
seven is that the actual hayley we need to? We need to start keeping track of that, for real.
Oh, this is
Americali Hayley Adams.
This is the real...
Yeah, that's the real Hayley Adams.
Hayley, you're not going to do it. What are you talking about?
Taylor's now going to program against you.
Yeah.
Now that I know, listen, listen.
Now that I know all these fuckheads like Yelly
and all these Euros are into it,
I'm not going to program any more European shit, dude.
Fucking biking and road climbs is too fucking European.
We should change the prize money for Europe to $250.
MTEL for Taylor, please don't program this for November.
Oh, that must be a Sentinel training athlete.
Charlotte Classic.
Why was there a 10 damper rule?
That's just typically, I don't know.
That's typically like when you do a standing biker,
you typically set it to a damper 10.
And setting the damper removes anybody's ability to play with the damper
and fluctuate the count per hour.
Oh, shit.
Listen, pull this comment up.
I'll beat you next week. I'll beat you next week.
I'll beat you next week.
That's the tone you think
she used?
I'll fucking beat
you next week.
She's on the generation
that's never touched a computer.
They see blood in the water.
There's blood in the water now.
That's fine, dude.
Oh, and then you got Colton in here, too?
Oh, fuck off, dude.
Stop.
This show doesn't turn into
a big one of Taylor when I lose, okay?
Yes, it does.
No, it doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
Taylor, today really disappointed me.
Please win next week.
I'm here crying in front of all my pigs.
Colton Mertz.
Heidi can't spell.
She's a fucking dumbass.
Oh, dude, look.
It's Fraser.
L-E-N.
Where?
Where's Fraser?
It's not.
Frazier.
Yeah, he could knock him on the show.
Could Colton have beat you in that workout?
No.
Fuck you, Colton.
You wouldn't have beat me in this workout.
He maybe could have beat me last week.
But not this week.
No.
He's not beating me next week either.
I'm going to design a workout.
A three-rep dead-stop deadlift?
Yeah, three-rep dead-stop deadlift.
Definitely not going to program that.
You know what's cool is that money pays for, like,
he had his flights to Fort Worth.
No, it doesn't.
Yeah, it does.
It helps.
Maybe one way.
Fuck that.
Why the fuck are we helping him to Fort Worth?
Shut up, Peter.
Don't find a silver lining.
There's no silver lining.
We'll send it to him after the games.
Hey, do it like the CrossFit games.
He's got to fill out a W-2.
He's got to wait six months.
There's a whole process that is, bro.
All right, guys.
The show is going to move to Saturday.
Hold on, hold on.
Lisa Gall, Kevin Ogar is in for a challenge.
Program the bike on that one.
He's going to sit there like this on the...
No, it's legs only.
You guys are killing it, but the word is out.
It's going to be extremely difficult to win a couple weeks in a row.
Jelly Toast just bagged a rate of $27,000 an hour.
He's right.
100% right.
That's some Jeff Bezos shit.
Not even.
He makes more than that, I bet.
Guys, it's only a matter of time before the prize money will go to $1,000 a week
and then $2,000 a week.
Well, here's the thing.
Why are we talking like it's over?
Someone can still beat Yellow Host this time.
Oh, really?
Really?
Oh, people are asking for links.
Do you want me to send it?
Yes.
No, only send it to people who have a chance of beating Yellow.
Don't do that, dude.
Send it to whoever.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
My bad.
All right.
I thought-
I would kill for JR to show up right now.
He would never-
I would kill for Taylor Wade to show up.
JR, please call in JR.
No, no, no.
Taylor Wade.
No one even knows who that is.
JR only does Legos rope climbs.
I just sent out two links.
Wow. Haley's chomping at the bit.
I can't wait for next week to ass-pound
Taylor.
She didn't say ass-pound,
bro.
He's reading between the lines. It's inferencing.
Hey, pull up Chris
Triple G's comment.
Do I look like I'm
crying, you fucking douchebag?
Hold on.lor is an asshole
let's just soak in
to everyone and now he's crying because people make fun of him fucking
jeez louise this sounds like a sound effect that we have
this guy's got a naked fucking nft of NFT of Joe Biden in his room and he fucking
pooped off.
The autism runs strong in the
No, what's up, buddy?
How you doing? Good to see you, dude.
Still got to get you on the show.
Hope you're doing well.
Football season's about to start.
Good to see you, dude.
That's not the real guy.
Yes, it is, dude.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not. Yes, it is. Wait's not yes it is what's up guys mason what's up dude oh nothing much ready to kick taylor's ass
dude i'm gonna do my best damn look at your jawline You look like the Incredible Hulk How old are you? Jeez Louise, alright
Hey, dude, if you get beat by a European
No bueno
No bueno
Hey, him and Daniel Kutz
Alright
Are you in Mississippi?
Are you in Mississippi?
Are you in Mississippi? Where are you at?
No, I'm in georgia in belgica hey we want to keep the money in america so we're gonna root for you all right i appreciate the first it's the first ever on the kill taylor listen listen this is
serious advice you should probably bike at a 2k to start and you can't go below an 1800 on the 20 or the 10 because that's the only place he beat me
all right i'm gonna have to listen to y'all for the clock the way this gym set up i can't get a
clock in the frame okay i got my volume up that's cool with you guys yeah can you turn
turn the phone horizontal yeah hey soon as you start we'll start the clock
fuck you got you got to unlock your phone unlock your phone so you get a one start, we'll start the clock. You got to unlock your phone.
Unlock your phone.
So you get a one-second buffer.
We'll wait until you start pedaling, and then we'll start the clock.
Do you guys lock your phone?
I don't.
Mason, the chat wants to know if you're single.
No, I'm not.
Oh, he was disappointed.
What's his name?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, there's a guy named Mark that wants to eat your asshole.
It is June, dude. It is June.
It is Pride Month, bro.
We can talk.
Wow.
Dude.
Can y'all see that white tape line?
Heidi wants to know what you...
I can't even see the fucking rope.
Oh, the rope is black. He's fucked.
Hey.
Heidi wants to know what he fans. Heidi, aren't you
in a relationship?
I think Heidi
and her boyfriend are going to warm up to you.
Yeah, they got that upside down pineapple
looking for a third.
Wow.
I don't know what that is, but that sounds
crazy.
Swingers, bro.
Yeah.
Guys, I'm just about ready.
Let's go, Mason.
Let's party.
We'll start the clock when you start pedaling.
We're going to give you, yeah, we'll start the clock when you step on the pedal.
And I just wanted to reiterate that because no one can understand Peter.
He's foreign.
Correct.
I said swingers and remembered I was at work.
This dude belongs in the gym to our head.
Jesus Christ.
Fucking go to your bike.
All right.
Look at Libby Budacki.
This guy, he's killing me.
We'll stop the clock.
We'll use our pedaling.
It's perfectly okay to diddle yourself.
Are you sitting down?
Two, one, go. Ladies, it's perfectly okay to diddle yourself. Are you sitting down? Two, one, go!
Ladies, it's perfectly okay to diddle yourself during this workout.
Oh, my God.
He was pissed off, Pedro.
Get away from the camera.
He said, go to your fucking bike.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
Okay.
15 seconds, 60 seconds.
He needs to get off the bike at around 58 seconds.
Hey, scroll that thing down, Caleb.
The clock.
No, don't touch the clock, Caleb.
Other way, Caleb.
No, no, Caleb, don't touch it.
Oh, my God.
P, did he just join the chat?
Cool.
I think...
Hit the like if you're questioning your sexuality.
How do I?
Can I do that on the back end?
He looks like he wishes something shaped like a penis was mounted to his bike seat.
Uh-oh, 54 seconds. Hey, let's go, Mason. You're killing
it, dude. What the hell was that?
Wow.
Wow.
What if he beats Yella?
Holy shit. I hope he beats Yella.
Fuck him up, Mason.
Let's go, Mason.
He's got him. Let's go, Mason.
Come on.
Control, control. We'll give it to you. Go, go, go, go. Let's go Mason
Hey, you gotta buy card he's right on pace dude Jason Miller, I think summed up this guy well, he's cute but comes too fast I think that yeah, I think we said so we see
When he loses virginity comes in the condom before she even puts it in.
Puts it in where?
Good thing.
Just put a new one on and get the town.
Puts it in nowhere, dude.
Rolls the condom on, immediate ejaculation.
Let's go, Mason.
Come on.
The thing is, he shouldn't be holding onto the arms like that.
Yellow is out.
Fuck, I wanted to win so badly.
What did Yellow do? Let's go, Mason. You're on onto the arms like that. Yellow is out. Fuck, I wanted to win so badly. What did Yellow do?
Let's go, Mason.
You're on pace, buddy.
You got this.
Whoa!
Let's go, Mason.
Whoa!
He's got to come off in 10 seconds.
Bike sounds loud.
Dude, if we pay this guy, is this underage solicitation of like a minor or something?
Go!
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no! No! No!
No!
No!
Let's go, buddy.
Wow, he's doing the
Tater South pussy rope climb chalk
a bit early.
His niece wasn't on the last round.
Let's go, Mason.
You're doing great.
Let's go.
Aggressive.
Be aggressive.
It's okay.
$1,500, dude.
We can get through this.
He's fucked.
He's fucked.
He's not going back.
I think he's got it. He has $1,500, dude. We can get through this. He's fucked. He's fucked. $1,500. I think he's got it.
He has $1,500.
I think every rope climb has been short like six inches.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Oh, he's fucked.
I don't want to see any of you.
No, I think he's got it.
He'll be okay.
He's fucked.
He's only got like 20 seconds.
The time was 310.
What was yellow's time?
318.
It was 316.
318.
You didn't even know what your own time was.
It's in the comments, Tyler.
Okay, cool.
I wasn't sitting here writing them down.
You weren't.
Okay.
Let's go.
Let's go.
It's 3.16.
Tyler Watkins?
It's 3.16.
Okay, let's go.
Oh.
No, he's gone.
Okay, ladies, finish up.
We've had enough of Mason. No, no, no. Okay, ladies, finish up. We've had enough of Mason.
No, no, no.
Watch him beat Taylor real quick.
Oh, you can't hold on to the top.
Bye-bye.
Okay, I hope you guys were able to finish in time.
Thank you, Mason, for coming on the show.
He didn't beat me.
Nathan Reese.
He didn't beat me.
Hey, there.
What's up, buddy?
Doing all right. Okay Okay hold on one second
Hold on one second Nathan
Hey I don't think that guy's scores would have counted anyway
I think I saw at least two rope climbs where he didn't touch the top right
I don't know what he was touching to be honest
Yeah I don't know
Hey Nathan
Yeah
Are you in a
What country are you in right now
The UK Alright you don't have to show Yeah. Are you in a... What country are you in right now?
The UK.
All right.
Bye. See you later. Thank you.
That's a joke.
That's a joke.
All right.
Is there like a satellite delay or are you just a bit thick?
There's a bit of a delay going on.
In your brain or in the phone?
I'll put chicks behind the camera again.
Okay, is your cameraman a woman or a man?
It's me, hi.
Hi, okay.
It was me, hi.
Okay.
Me, hi.
Okay, Nathan, we're ready when you are.
Kick ass, buddy.
Bring me high around to the front
Black tea this morning
Is this frozen for you guys are just me just you know, I can see him
You don't have a cock we know you don't have a car
You don't have a cock we know you don't have a car
Me hi, it's broken. We do actually see something on the fucking video though
Just go ahead and start you be a five no he's not even
Nathan you're you got to hang up and call back in or something. You're frozen.
No, no, don't start. You're frozen.
You're frozen.
He's on pace.
He's on pace.
All right.
He said, okay, we're going to start.
Wow. Let's giveathan one more chance to uh what was his
name nathan nathan reese i just wrote down uk dude i can't believe gazan's not calling in
scared line bastard what's ridiculous protecting the reputation and i can't believe those euro
guys freaking all ganged up on me
like that there were like six of them that's ridiculous i found the last guy's instagram
it's only pride month the united states you're not all out of gangbang me dude he has he has
his girlfriend in his profile pic he's wow there she is that's a bold strategy he's 16 years old
dude it looks like he was the homecoming.
Oh, of course he was.
Glad he didn't win, actually.
Homecoming CU.
We wanted that guy to win.
Hey, what year was that picture posted?
The homecoming king.
That's ridiculous.
248 weeks ago.
Oh, okay.
So he's a beige now.
So he never posts.
Not really.
He looks like one of the models for pump underwear.
The underwear.
Come on.
Meat fruit missiles.
That's right.
I bet he's got some whale labias.
What does that mean?
Look how happy his girl is.
She's just a fucking puddle.
Yeah, I'd be pretty happy, too, if I were him, her.
Both.
Yeah.
They look happy. Yeah. They look happy.
Yeah.
Dude, that was...
Hey, we got to change
the thumbnail of this show
to six Europeans,
one American.
Or like six Euros,
one American.
Like gang gang.
You can be the blonde girl.
You know the meme
of the blonde girl
on the couch?
Dude, dude,
please crop my face onto that and put yella victor um fucking all
those guys we have will if you're listening will will never do that he's too scared of that i'll do
it i'll make it okay fine what is that casting couch how do i that's gonna be that's gonna be
a high quality meme peter can you send me that picture? I don't know what you're talking about.
Where is he? Nathan, get back here.
He's gone. Listen, guys.
$1,500 this week given by Born Primitive.
Amazing. Love
these guys. I really appreciate
the support. Great show today.
Congratulations to Jell-O Hosa. Next
Saturday, prize money will be back up to $500.
Haley Adams
will be here next week to lose.
Lose, yeah.
Alex Design is going to butch up and give it a go, too.
If you don't own a pair of Savage Ones, you should.
If you need any validation that their joggers are the best joggers in the business,
just know J.R. Howell has, like, 15 pairs of them.
That should be enough convincing for you.
I wear their shorts.
Great stuff. Thank you, Pedro, for you. I wear their shorts. Great stuff.
Thank you, Pedro, for coming.
Mr. Hiller, Tyler, Mr. Beaver, Taylor.
Love you, buddy.
I love you.