The Sevan Podcast - KT #21 | Ain't Nothing but a G Thang | $1,000 on the LINE!
Episode Date: September 30, 2024My Tooth Powder "Matoothian": https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice... ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS: Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I have horrible news. Horrible news. Once again, the greatest show on the internet is being
watched by Colton Mertens. That sucks. Okay, $1,000 on the line today.
Taylor Self, the fittest man in the world.
Colton cannot win this week.
That's what's cool at least.
So next week it will be $1,500.
Taylor Self is there getting ready.
This show is sponsored today by DNA4 Addiction.
Andrew Hiller has taken their test and Andrew Hiller and Taylor self have both taken the test will be having the famous Bob Forrest
Who is on the reality show drug rehab rehab drugs with dr
Drew will be coming on the show in the next month to go over Taylor and Hiller's tests to let us know if they are
Addicted addicted like if they have the likely to be addicted to opioids.
Thank you. Thank you likely to be addicted to opioids. What this test does is you take this
test and then you know what your chances are of being addicted to shit. So if you go to the doctor,
they won't pump you or your kids full of drugs that later you'll be addicted to. Because I think
that's the most common pathway for getting addicted to drugs. Now people who go into hospitals,
they give you a little this little that next thing
You know your drug addict
DNA for addiction great test by the way the tests right now are on sale and the code
Hey, Sevan, we reduced the price of DNA to $199 code words Sevan and that includes free shipping
$199 code word SEVON.
By the way, some of you guys take the test and I like you.
I'd love to have you on the show and talk about your results.
It's fascinating to me.
OK, before we start, Bryson Del Monte,
this show is dedicated to Pedro.
I want everybody, you have to donate $1 to $100
to watch this show
today. And we're going to tell you why Pedro,
tell us what happened this morning with you.
I was out in the gym for all my stuff is, and I came,
came back inside myself, my daughter, my wife, my two sons were outside.
And I came back in and I said to my wife, where's Bodie? She said,
Oh, he's out in the gym.
That's your two year old son.
Yeah. Three year old. So I was like, Oh, he's out in the gym. Who's Bodie? That's your two year old son. Yeah.
Three year old.
So I was like, Oh, is that him in the back there?
He's still alive.
Yeah, somehow.
So, all right, he's still alive.
Okay.
Here we go.
People listen up carefully.
He was on his own for 17 seconds and I came back out and he was sitting in this
chair and I immediately thought shit.
And then, cause he likes the road cast or mess it up all the time.
He likes the road caster.
He likes it.
It's like a rainbow.
So many lights.
So it opens up the laptop and I was like, wow, I didn't know he could do.
Why is it doing that?
And then I was like, no, maybe just don't touch that.
And I kind of walked over and I was like, what the fuck did you do?
The whole left side of the screen and the whole bottom side of the
screen are just flickering and then it's working fine when it's on the monitor.
But it's not a laptop anymore.
It's not portable because it's just that everything's just jumping up and down
out of this bottom bit of the screen. So I had this moment.
The takeaway from it is I was so fucking angry, like so enraged.
You prevented a homicide. You prevented a homicide.
You prevented a homicide.
I could feel heat inside my chest that I've never felt before.
I was like, I actually might breathe fire.
I might be a dragon.
And then I just looked at him and I just took one breath and pause for a second.
I just said,
I can't explain to you how angry I am at you right now,
but you should probably just go
inside to your mother. And he just goes, okay, I just went inside.
And then you know what he did. But so you didn't even get to see him break it.
No, I think so. The remote for the clock was like balanced on the edge of the laptop when
I came in. And I think he was just slamming and opening the laptop and just slammed it
on top of the remote by accident.
So, yeah, laptop's fucked.
I can't use the laptop.
And but he's still alive.
And it's probably my proudest moment as a parent where I should have drop kicked
the fucker through the door and somehow just had reservation and said,
you just need to go inside here and mother now.
And then she was more angry than I was.
She was like, what did you do?
I was like, he doesn't have any concept, like no concept of what he's done or the consequence of it or anything.
So this is the story for when he's like four. Our daughter was like, I'm not touching anything on
that desk ever again. So she got it straight away. But yeah, he'll never understand.
Listen, everyone, if everyone just donates two bucks, we can get Pedro a new computer.
How old is he?
Do the right thing.
Three.
Aren't you a third grade teacher? old is he? Do the right thing. That's right.
Aren't you a third grade teacher? Yeah, that's what's even better.
Pedro is doing the Lord's work.
Okay, Bryson Del Monte, are you ready?
What's the workout?
Oh, sorry, you guys wanna know what the workout is?
It doesn't matter.
You guys have no chance.
We're gonna read the workout.
Go ahead, Andrew, so I don't **** this up. For this rope pliers to
fifteen feet. Here also going three two one and in between
those efforts you're going twenty burpees over the yoke.
He is set to forty inches for the dudes. Thirty-four inches
for the chicks. Those go twenty fifteen ten. So four
twenty three fifteen two ten finishing and starting with the
rope climb. And you can jump over anything.
It doesn't have to be a yoke.
I don't 34 inches is a weird number though.
That's three of my penises.
There you go.
Well, that'll make sense.
Your penis is 11 inches and 30.
Damn bro.
You're hung.
Ask your mom.
Oh, we're ready.
We're ready.
How long is it going ready. 10 seconds.
Got him.
There's no way that's 40 inches.
That's what she said.
3, 2, 1.
Lizzy County reps.
Good job, Caleb.
Yeah, that's a 24-inch yoke, dude.
That's a huge rope.
Is this lagging for everyone or just for me?
Just for you. It's the laptop.
Yeah.
Shit.
This computer sucks now.
Here we go. CrossFit Charlotte.
Home of Andy Hendel.
You know my first thought every time I see the
workout is it's like, you know what?
No one has this yoke, Taylor.
Especially Colton. Colton doesn't have this yoke.
He knows that. He scouted his gym.
24 seconds. 26 seconds. But you can do it over a box. What the hell do you mean you can do it over a box?
Anything, no, no, anything that's the same height. Maybe 40 is just not as tall as I thought.
Did Taylor say that? Yeah, Taylor said this. I asked him last night. He said you can jump
over anything that's 40 inches. Oh my God, $10 for Pedro's computer. Thank you, Matt.
The rest of you guys are scumbags
until you pay $1 to $100.
Let's raise money for Pedro to get a new computer.
He's a poor teacher.
He didn't kill a child this morning.
And he's Irish.
What year was your computer, Pedro?
Last year.
Last year, so it's new, nice.
Colton Merton's $499. Thank you, Colton. last year. Last year. So, it's
It's called giving back Dick butter scumbag. Thank you, Dick. Appreciate it. Love you, buddy
Barbell tied in the rack. He's a burp. Oh, you're gonna be in crash crucible as well
How many of these is he doing 40 20 40 20 god he's slow
Can you hurry up? That's as far as you are dude. Oh, never mind. He's doing great. I like how we shot 151 if you do
Daniel when thank you. They're gonna be so much slower. You're fucked if you don't do it over a yolk. I
Don't know why taking some breaks. Yes. It. Daniel Wynn for Pedro's less lethal computer fun.
Wodzombie499. Love you, Pedro.
Thanks, guys.
The effort in which he's holding on the legs of rope climbs is pretty good, though.
Like, once you get to about five, everyone slows down significantly.
He hasn't really yet.
He's taking breaks.
23.
Hang on. Is this actually lagging for other people or no?
Yes.
No, it's not. Not for me.
Savannah's lagging for me as well.
Fuck, is my laptop just fucked?
You're fucked.
Fuck.
You're in danger.
My son's in danger.
Guys, you have to understand Pedro's wife hate him doing these shows.
And so if we can buy him a new computer
It'll give him a lot of big dick swingin room. So come on. Come on Oh
Mar thank you. Oh that those are in peso. Sorry. Hey, so sounds like potatoes. That's okay
The split times are 26 seconds 151 to 27 23
Jason Hearn for Pedro's kids survival fund. Well done. Thank you even in your money, right? No, it's not in my money
That's English money
Lee leach Trotsky Lee Trowley Trow Roach, $20. You're a good dude.
It's Pedro.
Yeah, that is so weird.
My actual name.
Who's Peter?
How high is the rope?
I know we're going to have a problem.
15 15 15 should be standard in most CrossFit gyms
No, I say that buddy 12 feet's about miss the time again. Oh shit
Helping dog is loaded my Calvin's dog 499. What a boss you siphoning off that data fun.
Wow, look at this. Sharon Petrosky for saving Pedro's marriage.
Thank you.
Wow.
Solid money.
My mind is probably okay.
It's more so my place on the show.
Fuck.
It's a helicopter.
That's cool.
Over your house?
I feel like Caleb now.
Now you know what it's like. to have somebody roaming around your head.
Or Fraser, I guess, in Vermont.
Scottish G in real time.
I recognize that.
436.
Wow, you guys are great.
Geez.
443.
Yeah, there you go.
Okay, really quick before we get to that, real money. Thank you guys.
This is really cool. How much do we have to be donated for Pedro to move to the US? Great question.
Aaron, Fraser, Michelle Shanks, Keep Pedro Podcasting Fun. Thank you. You guys are awesome.
Do you have any sort of emotional tie to Ireland, Peter, or can you just move?
Well, if my wife isn't happy with me doing this show imagine if I suggest
You go you move to America move continent do it do it
Extra sloppy. Thank you for Pedro Lisa gall not fucking around for the protection of Pedro's child. Yes, thank you
I
Would like to shit out of the Pedro moves to America video series though.
It's like that Eddie Murphy movie.
Yeah.
Trish doing the handle.
Whoa.
Whoa.
There he is.
He had his shirt on on the other side of the camera.
He whipped it off real quick.
What happened?
Bryson, let us hear you, buddy.
What's up? Get with the programming. Pedro's potato fun 1999. Andy's biking.
Andy's doing 15 miles on the hour for three hours.
How much?
15 miles every hour for three hours.
Has he got his pacemaker turned on?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Andy handle jokes. No, he can't hear us.
Oh,
guys, no, he is not pricing. That doesn't make sense. 15 on
the hour miles running or biking. No biking. Oh,
getting ready for a bike race, dude. Why would he be right? How
long does that take? How long does 15 miles take? An hour? Let
me ask him, Coach. How long does 15 miles take you on that?
About 55 minutes.
About 55 minutes, he said.
He hits five minutes to pee and then come back.
I thought he said running.
I forgot to get the clips ready.
Will someone tell the story why we're raising money?
Pedro's broke.
My laptop is broke. His brand new laptop got fucking destroyed
by his fucking three year old kid this morning. And that was probably six months salary on
his teaching allowance. His wife already hates us fucking conservative fucking nutballs.
Let's just fucking keep Pedro in the game.
There have been no lies told so far.
Pedro, I'll give you 30 bucks if you slap your kid on camera. Just smack your kid next
time. Here you go, Pedro. Also, Seven, why did you shave your head? You look older now.
Because I want to look older. What do you mean? You just said it.
Yeah.
Yeah. Don't say. Oh, I see the child. you look older now because I want to look older what do you mean you just said it yeah yeah don't
say oh I see the child the child you know what he just freaking guy someone kicked him out of the
room yeah someone might need to um text me I can't my phone's not working maybe no one can even win
the money this week dude all your shit sucks this year.
Can someone text me a link to the podcast phone?
Um, sure, I can try.
Give me a minute.
Simulated EMP.
Both road casters went out.
Uh, cell phone doesn't work.
They're testing you, Sevan.
It's Sporty Beth.
Please donate a dollar to the show or more or $100. cell phone doesn't work. They're testing you seven. It's sporty Beth.
Please donate a dollar to the show or more or a hundred dollars.
Also this week's $500 is brought to you by DNA for addiction.
Taylor and Hiller have both taken the test. We'll be reviewing their tests later this month,
seeing how likely they are to be addicted to drugs.
I could never take that test. Cause if I found out I would oh the
fentanyl I would just start doing fentanyl I'm gonna do it anyway someone
it says least less likely it's like it's a scale of less likely to extremely
likely. Hiller text me the link to the strong moron that's okay butter hard holy shit 50 bucks from Dick
butter for the Irishman you guys are you know awesome that's not what you want I
want the link to the stream yard not to YouTube yeah that's what that is yeah I
said it to I sent you a stream art link to the podcast phone. Oh, well, you mean the link that we all sign on with
Yeah, that's the one isn't it? Yeah
It came at someone it came as a YouTube link. No, no the 901 number
Oh
No, I didn't get it from you
Someone sent it from the isn't that weird? I just, someone from the chat must've sent it.
First of all, why can't anyone?
I didn't do it this time.
Swear to God, I have not done it
since the send it to Brandon.
This is so weird.
Hold on, I'm falling behind.
Will Plummer, thank you.
Laptop Hurricane Relief Fund.
I mean, I'll send it again, but.
I wonder why this phone's not working. This is the StreamYard link. It didn't even come through the first time. Are you sure
you're sending it to the podcast phone? I just double-checked the number at the
top of the screen. The 3903 number? Yeah. I also had that number saved. I can't send it from my phone either. I wonder why that is. You think I have to reset this phone?
It says it's hooked up to... let me see if it's hooked up to Wi-Fi calling.
Wi-Fi calling on.
Man, this kid is testing my patience.
What's it doing?
Seve, restart the phone. Okay Okay fine. I'll do it. Peter how much weight have you lost this year?
Let's get
Six kilos six kilos, I think
15 pounds
If you want to win the thousand dollars
Here's the workout for legless rope climbs at 15 feet, 20 burpees over the yoke, but you can do over anything that's 40 inches tall for the men.
Three legless rope climbs, 15 burpees over yoke, two legless rope climbs, 10 burpees over the yoke, one legless rope climb.
You can win a thousand bucks. Easy money.
Does anyone get this in Aragorn voice? It's like for Frodo.
For Pedro.
Does anybody understand Sonny K's comment.
They're so hard when they're grown.
What?
I feel I missed some context there.
We know we know we know.
Why understood?
We know.
You're not.
You're muted.
One of the other.
I'll unmute him.
Pedro, I think probably killed at the same time. Stop speaking of the. the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the the Thank you. Good. Hey, answer my question. What? Hey, will everyone in the chat try to text the phone number or a few of you try to text
the phone number?
I need to see if this phone's working.
I look like a gay gamer.
I got it.
I got it.
Phone's working.
It's working.
Okay, listen.
A thousand bucks.
All you have to do is text 928-583-3903 and whoever told me to reset my phone, God bless
you. Praise Lord Jesus phone, God bless you.
Praise Lord Jesus, hallelujah.
Thank you.
I think you're grown enough to understand life, Peter.
You should teach him something.
Teach him.
Who, my kid?
Yeah, educate him.
Put him on the show, give him the headset.
We'll teach him.
Give him the mic.
I'm an education.
Stephanie, the chance.
It would almost be entertaining, but it won't be. Thank you. the the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the the the to $100 all proceeds will go to Pedro's new computer. Oh shit people are sending me tests
now. Thank you guys.
Should we limit it to $100? If you want to send more than $100 please send more than
$100.
And this guy that didn't kill his son is the same guy who clipped the tip of his finger
off a bar doing burpee pull-ups the other day and almost put my foot through the wall.
I was so angry.
Ted does bring it in the car.
I punched a hole in my garage drywall one time. the it you know wait you had to put some bro bro that was a nose swab that was it
you never had oh my god shit on it and send it in that lab tech's gonna be
like this dude's nose is disgusting hey when Taylor was eight he found out that his dick wasn't supposed to go in his butt until then
That is the whole life. He thought he was trying to stretch his dick out. Then he started putting other men's in there
Did he
Stephanie Lachance, thank you. So Rica. Thank you. You guys are great
This is a really shitty situation for Pedro White, a man trapped on an island
out in the middle of the Atlantic with a bunch of libtards.
And but a beautiful child,
beautiful, loving child accidentally broke his little shit head over there.
And any of you who have kids know that that is a moment
Why am I you're not coming through your headset you're coming through the laptop tater? It's something it's a it's your childhood that did that to you Taylor. That's why
That's what I
Don't okay. You can want to win that that cable is pulled into the one side tater
any
About now does one not going left and one goes in right in your that's worse. That's where your headset worse Yeah and
that's where your head the the the
the
the
the
the
the
the the $1,000 Caleb's on the timer Hiller sexually frustrated Tyler Watkins is holding down the show
Pedro has the police at his door
Yeah
But someone's about to come in and try to win the K
They have no chance, but they're doing it for our own amusement
Wait, is it a thousand dollars this week a thousand? Thank you
Finally we made it back up
thousand dollars this week. A thousand. Thank you. Finally, we made it back up. The least you can do is donate $1 to $100 so
that we can reward Pedro with a new computer.
We're just with one that works. Maybe we'll buy a used one. If
you guys don't send enough money, he's gonna use one.
He'll get my used university.
I was gonna give you my own laptop back. Hey, you're going to need DNA for addiction if you, if you, uh, if you don't get the money, because then you're going to do, can you imagine if Taylor did that DNA for addiction thing
and it said, no, you've not to worry about.
Hey, is this still coming to the laptop or is this my mic?
The laptop.
That's fine.
I think it's the laptop.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. the test is so good. Is this still coming to the laptop or is this my mic?
No, that's your mic. The laptop, but it's fine.
Hey, the guy who's part owner in the company met Andrew Hiller and before he even gave Hiller the
test, he's like, yeah, that guy definitely has an addictive personality. Yeah, he knew. He knew. He
knew right away. Hey, I'm telling you. That's what he told Sarah. He's like, oh yeah, that guy's that
that
that
that Great it's fine relax Jesus Christ relax. Hey when a Taylor's having sex with Lizzie if she doesn't have an orgasm he threatens to hit her
Fucking assholes, right's laughing he said you too
Holy shit, everything's fine, honey. I feel great. Don't worry. Everything's fine
All right, we got uh the text messages are coming in people think that they can get the thousand dollars
I hope the guy calls in doing the um squats in the living room again today. That was
Taylor scared someone's gonna beat him. He's out of here. Can we see the child?
$2,000 $3,000 there he is
I think I triggered Taylor
Damien think three dollars. Thanks. Oh look that that guy looks like he's Irish
Think Wow. Yeah, I look at his red hair. Thank you. Mr. Fink very kind of you
I like that If you if you find out you're addicted to something do you try that drug? No, no
It's beat the test show the test
Beat that shit
We will be doing the oh, let me see
Let me show you guys the workout one more time sponsored you by DNA prediction for a thousand bucks legless rope climbs burpees legless
rope climbs burpees legless rope climbs burpees
Legless rope climbs burpees legless rope climbs burpees legless rope climbs burpees
Final with a legless rope climb the rope is 15 feet. You don't have to jump over the yoke
You can just jump over anything that's 40 inches. You put a string out there
Doesn't matter they're coming back
What do you say Hillary if you tried to quit what? What? What's his name? Pedro? Bodie. Bodie.
Hi, Bodie.
See, he responds his name.
He's a clever kid.
Oh, no.
Don't talk to him.
I think dogs can do that.
I wanted to say that.
Beautiful and always present
Laura Spooner. No one funner to
go to a bar with. What's up
Bodie? You hear them? Good job
turning your dad's life upside
down. Sorry. Somebody job. He
probably can't understand me.
We've been that tablet with
you. His IQ dropped ten points
listening to Tyler's accent. That what they say in America, daddy?
Daniel Wynn, I knew a guy who was addicted to brake fluid.
It's OK, though.
He can stop any time he wants.
Wow.
That's a kill Tony joke, for sure.
Ask him what his best mile time is.
He's still working on it.
Look at Pedro's already.
Oh, wow.
I like the way you guarded him like that, Pedro.
That's smart.
With the forearm up like that.
From myself.
Yeah.
From the computer.
Hey, I'm going to give you a right hook in a couple of seconds.
You need to move.
I love greeting my kid like that with my forearm like this.
Hi, how are you?
I love you. I love you. I usually
have my the palm of my hand on his forehead. I just keep them at arm's length. President
Trump just text me. Ask you for money. That's weird. I hate those text messages. I love
them from trying to do so many rope climbs. That's pretty good. Who did that? Peter. Wow. the I'm going to send I sent him a mail in ballot for my dead dad and then Peter's going to vote instead.
I get targeted ads on Instagram for mail in ballots.
And it's like, how is this targeted?
It's like you're fucking idiots.
I'm an Ironman.
Oh, so Taylor, did you decide who you're voting for?
Are you voting for the Lib Tart or the corrupt Republican?
Oh, you mean for governor?
I'm not voting for those fucking pussies.
They're both idiots.
One guy's a fat idiot and the other one's a skinny fucking idiot. Republican. Oh, you mean for governor? I'm not voting for those fucking pussies. They're both idiots
One guy's a fat idiot and the other one's a skinny fucking idiot
And you know what if you don't vote if you don't vote you don't have an opinion then afterwards whenever no, that's not true I'm voting. I'm doing I'm voting the presidential election. I'm not voting for either of those idiots, but it doesn't mean i'm not voting
Third party
Ladies and gentlemen
Libertarian party yeah boy whoa you got a yoke oh hit him Pedro hit him Wow we called him before didn't he watch this
show ever turn your phone sideways hey no hold on a second buddy can you turn
your phone sideways oh look does your buddy hold on a second, buddy. Can you turn your phone sideways?
Does your buddy hold the edges of your mustache from behind while he's hitting you from the back?
Hold on there, partner.
How are we? Good. You're good. Your nostrils look very clean. You don't have to turn sideways. Just turn your phone sideways.
just turn your phone sideways. You stand normally in front of your phone.
Oh, it's a Nick Dumper.
His dumper barely fits in those shorts.
Wow, he's K-Dumb, dude. That guy's got fat ass.
We have another giant ass on the show, ladies and gentlemen.
Travis Ackerson towards the dog kennel for the kids.
Wow, nicely done, Travis.
What's your name?
I'm Zane.
Zane. What's your name? I'm Zane. Zane. What's your name? Zane from Texas. Where are
you from? Fort Worth. Ah, nailed it. Chris, all good. $1.99. Thank you, Chris. You're
a good dude for Pedro's laptop. This guy is strategically blocking where he's going to
do his burpees bit by bit. Where's your rope climb, Zane? Where's your rope climb Zane? Where's your rope climb?
Okay, okay got it got it. All right. Sorry
God that looks close to the fan that looks close to the fan. This is bitch Cassidy and the Sundance kid right here What the fuck is this guy doing? Let's go, baby. Let's go
Move that remote. That'd be sick
Are you all?
Just move it over to the side a little bit.
This dude is definitely different.
Raise your clock up a little bit.
Clock?
You're good.
You're fine.
You don't even need a clock.
Hannah's gonna do a clock anyway.
Okay.
Caleb Beaver in the house.
Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
God bless Texas.
Four rope climbs.
Oh, he's moving.
He's going way faster than Taylor already.
He's like a ninja, dude.
God, that fan looks scary.
I wish he wouldn't defend like that
because he'd actually have a chance at hell then.
Right.
Dennis O'Larry, thank you, buddy. Praise the Lord. Can we tell him to just stick his hand straight up when he gets to the fan? to get a chance to win like that because you'd actually have a chance in hell then right
Dennis O'Larey. Thank you buddy
praise the lord. Can we tell
him to just stick his hand
straight up when he gets to the
fan 26 seconds 26 seconds get
the dust off that fan touch the
fan or doesn't count. He's on
pace. He's on 26. Oh oh you
touched the bar. No rep. No you you're good. Oh, he's fucked up.
That's slower or faster?
That's about on pace.
Yeah.
Does it help to put your foot on it like that?
It's such a weird height.
I did like a hundred of these last week,
but I did them,
I thought the yoke was just set at 48 inches.
It was back in the back and I had been carrying it
and Bryson had done a workout over it.
So I was a guy that looks about like 48 inches, a hundred burpees later I come in, I measured
today it was at 54 inches and I'm like, damn, the yoke is going to be at 40 inches at crash.
This is the lowest gayest height I could ever have imagined.
I thought we didn't use that word. We almost made it on the show without using that word.
No, it's okay. He sounded like Shane Gillis when he said that's a different.
That's a different type of word.
I was doing that.
I was doing burpees earlier on and I was doing burpee box jumps and something
that burpee pull ups in the burpee box jumps.
I was like, oh, these are hard.
And I was on like rep two of 10 or whatever to set.
And I was like, oh, just keep moving.
You can't fail a burpee box jump.
I fell over the box in the next rep. Hey, you definitely came off at 151.
Pedro, there's only one person that people would hear less talk about workouts than you. And that's
me. Don't ever talk about your workouts ever again on the show. Thank you.
That would have been awesome. He about to hold 158.
Seven seconds behind.
Let's go, Zane.
The fuck are you doing?
You have no chance of you fuck around.
They get a lot harder.
Taylor was also fucking around.
I was not Taylor Colton says,
Colton says that trip is the perfect place for the oak.
You go, Zane, go.
But you did
almost eat dick when was I off Colton says Colton comments hey neck height is
a proper height to listen or if you guys you guys have some base either one
dollar or a hundred dollars for the Pedro save a kid foundation Pedro almost
killed a child today but
didn't and he needs to be
rewarded handsomely. Please
donate a dollar to $100 now. I
like this foot thing he's
doing. Kind of smooth. Of course
not. You wish you would. himself
to the ground. Oh, now he
froze. He froze for me. Oh no,
I don't think I think it just
slows you down. It's only 45 burpees. We should be doing that
He had the buttery bro. Thank you video foreign
Yeah, look at his burpees. Oh, see ya buddy too slow
Taylor came off in 330. Oh, he's hurt. He's hurt
No, you look like a wounded chicken
Yeah, he's hurt. Look how he's lowering
He's all blown up already. Pacing.
What are you doing, dude?
It's 45 total burpees, you pussy.
Let's go.
You went on the ground for three minutes.
What is he doing?
Oh no.
Shut up, pillar.
Yeah, he's doing intermittent resting.
Not enough GW, you motherfucker.
Let's go.
Oh, he's getting mad.
Sentinel training. Ladies and gentlemen, Sentinel training if you want to be able to do 45 burpees in a workout. I'm gonna do GW you mother fucker. Let's go. Oh, he's getting mad.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sentinel training if you want to be able to do 45 burpees in a
workout. Yeah, this guy looks like he does training think tank I would say or maybe even
proven. Hilary, have you ever done GW? No. 315 watch, 19 seconds behind pace. You should
do GW Hilary and see if you can just start beating the shit out of me in these workouts. Alright.
What's GW?
GW501516.
It's the one that everyone takes to get better lungs.
I never had an issue with lungs, Josh. I never thought about it.
We'll give you that rep. Don't worry. We'll pretend like we didn't see that.
How long before we hang? Oh, he's quitting. Are you quitting? the I'm not going to do push ups. There's no push ups in the
workout. I had a bunch.
Zane, you have a great accent.
Zane, if you took that Apple
watch, your testosterone would
go up 10 points. took it off.
Yeah, you took it off. Zane,
you look literal. I can't I
can't think of more of an
epitome of Texas than you. It's crazy. That's where I'm at.
We're about five minutes from
Dickies.
That's a compliment.
You got about 200 pounds.
You look like you're about five
minutes from getting Dickied.
But are you a cop?
You have to tell me if you're a
cop.
No.
No.
That's what a cop would say.
Are you a game warden?
No. I mean, that's good. cop would say. Are you a game warden? No. Oh, that's good. That's good.
Construction is good. Hey, what's the name of the gym? Tarrant Fitness. Oh, Tarrant.
Nice. Tarrant Fitness. Are you guys a CrossFit affiliate or no? No. No. Is it your gym?
Yeah, it's our family gym and employees.
Oh, that's cool.
How big is your construction company that you have a gym?
Say it again.
It's Texas. It's huge.
Someone translate for Pedro from Irish to Texan.
Yeah, can't understand.
How big is your company that you have a gym?
We got 20 people.
Okay, cool.
That's sick.
Yeah, that is sick.
Good workout.
All right, dude, thank you.
You the man.
Thank you for trying.
It would have been if you finished it.
See y'all.
Good job, Zane.
Damn.
Wait the last four minutes.
Dude, that guy was caked up.
Yeah, great physique on that man. His ass are fucking crazy. That man had a phenomenal physique. I bet he could
call some whales. That's just from, that's just from carrying two by fours. He goes,
I can't understand you. To Peter. That's crazy. Pedro, is it hard doing a Texas accent? No.
I don't think that was a Texas accent, but no.
I can't understand you. I love Texas accent. Talking, talking like you from
across that waterway. It's so slow. Wadzombie, another $4.99 for Pedro's
computer. Listen guys, a dollar to a hundred bucks you have to donate. We've
got to get Pedro a new computer. Oh, it'll be over
There'll be no more fake news. Oh, I got some bad words right on
oh
My god, I heard he got freaking knives put up to his neck and
Soak out water polus yelled out for fake news. Dude that guy looks like you fucking plays this game with fucking steak knives
About thirty two dollars I make a night when I play this game with
They spent it on the sandcastle. One eighth of a sandcastle.
One eighth of a sandcastle.
The door.
They spent it on the door and the ore for rain.
Hey listen, listen.
For all the people, listen, what Roman said is exactly true.
I just want to say that.
If Ricky Giroir, if what Roman said is exactly true, if the world team had actually come
together, they would have fucking beat the shit out of the North American team.
You don't know shit about Buck.
I'm telling you.
But also, but also it's worth saying that Roman should have kept his fucking mouth chill
because he had his chance and pussied out because he was afraid he wasn't going to win.
He was invited and he turned his butt down because he was injured.
I typed like five different responses out to Downs post because I wanted to shit on Roman
The first thing that comes to my fucking mind is you stupid Russian
Oh, you are begging basically for to be a political refugee of America and then you're gonna say oh, I
Good thing world. No, you're a fucking American now you stupid idiot or
Yeah, go the fuck back home and compete there you dumb. Hey, but but here's the thing World no, you're a fucking American now you stupid idiot or yeah
Back home and compete there you dumb. Hey, but but here's the thing Roman could be on the North America team
but if Ricky and
Yonikowski show up good night
Good
If Dallin Justin Madaris Pat Velner Fikowski, Roman are all in North America,
no one in the world is fucking,
and we don't even need Roman.
Just replace him with Jason.
Roman took like fucking 10th.
He sucks cock.
You're washed up, Roman.
You're washed up.
I'm letting you know if Ricky and Bailey Martin show up,
it's a game of, I'm telling you.
Hey, you wanna know a crazy thing?
What?
You wanna know something crazy?
17 out of the top 20 individuals, top 10 on the men's side, top 10 on the women's side,
are North American.
What does possible sound like for your business?
It's the ability to reach further with access to over 1,400 lounges worldwide.
Redefine possible with Business Platinum.
That's the powerful backing of American Express.
Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca
slash Business Platinum.
Are you including Roman? Yeah, are you looking at the 2024
leaderboard? Because that thing's illegitimate.
I don't think it'd be more legitimate. It'd be more
legitimate if Adler stayed in. And I'm not counting him.
Josh, for Pedro's laptop, and not drop kicking his kid through
the fucking door. Nice. thank you. That's solid.
Thanks, Josh.
That's really understanding the situation.
Yes.
Pedro's new laptop. If Pedro doesn't get the money for a new laptop, the kid's life is in danger.
Wait, you broke your laptop, Peter?
No, Peter. I didn't break my fucking laptop.
His kid broke his laptop this morning. This is a fundraiser for it.
Oh, fuck yeah. Good kid.
And Cakes Pedro didn't buy AppleCare and has to actually pay for the screen.
He did not buy AppleCare.
I was talking to someone who works for Apple, right?
They said, did you buy AppleCare when you were buying your laptop?
And my response was, did I fuck?
This is like, who the fuck buys AppleCare?
I was like, no, no, I don't have any insurance.
Fuck all that shit.
Do you really?
Oh, yeah, I have AppleCare. You're a tool. I have Apple care on my computer. No one buys that. Fuck you. That's not true.
And if you break it, I could throw it up against a fucking wall. Guess what? New laptop.
Don't fucking throw it against the wall. It's a scam, Taylor. It's not a scam.
It's not just health insurance is a scam. You you retard if you fucking break your phone or your computer
It gets replaced that's a lot of voters by Apple care. Come all of voters by Apple care
Yes, it is. I fucked you up with that
999 thank you so much. Appreciate it so much eat beaver
Eat beaver Taylor the run swim video have been so much better
if you and Hopper did it in a speedo.
But then, but then no one would be looking at how bad I was beating Jason by and they
would only be looking at how small my penis is, which is not cool. So I wouldn't ever
do that.
Your penis isn't small.
Probably average.
It actually isn't small. No, it's bigger than average. It's bigger than average.
Everyone on the show tell Taylor's penis isn't small
He's got it he's got a fucking saw I've seen it he's got a sausage I've seen it like folded in half because when he pulls it out, he pulls it out weird like it so check this out
Well Bryson's got a great comment. It's a scam, but if you had AppleCare, we wouldn't be donating money to his fucking lost cause
How do you know?
I'll be a scam.
Go fund me for Peter and
Tristan Harrison to go to Spartanburg
South Carolina.
So you can ass pound him?
Yeah, he started to go fund me to travel to South Carolina.
Dude, how fucking broke he is.
Where is he from?
One city over.
One city over?
He needs tubes for his bike.
A Sarah Cox, 49.99.
By the way, if you,
this DNA for addiction test is an important test to take.
If you have kids, your kids should definitely take the test
because you don't want people giving your kids drugs
if they are susceptible to being a drug addict.
They're on sale now for $199 with code word SEVON.
Also, if I like- Go ahead. I was gonna Also, it actually like go ahead
I was gonna say it actually told me that I would have a predisposition for being addicted to anal
So I just shouldn't try it
Wow. Oh, that's why you took the test up your ass
Where we at here if you send the test back in your cakes
Where we at here if you send the test back in your or cakes
On it who the fuck is this guy dude? Those are three inch inseams
That's a person one hunter McIntyre if you stop running Jared Jared this guy. What is it? What are you wearing on your top dude? Is that like a nurses shirt? He's wearing a shirt you camera guy
I'm a holo. Is that your church attire
God that is it.
Hey now you can use the word gay.
What are you doing?
Fucking warming up.
What's going on here?
I'm trying on the Sabbath.
Do we have the yoke guy or the hat man?
Today's the Sabbath, Taylor.
Does that guy have snaps on his blouse?
Is that guy wearing a blouse?
No.
I'm pretty sure Saturday is,
is this Saturday the Sabbath?
Jesus Christ dude.
What you didn't have any clothes on?
The flamingo shirt.
You got your wife shirt? You got your wife shirt on. We're going in 10 seconds. the the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the the the to do the workout to get the money. Jedediah Snellson. This dude's yoked. No rope. Yeah dude.
Hey, where's your prophet?
What?
We're in Elkhorn, Nebraska.
Ah, yep, definitely.
Oh yeah, there's some, you guys,
some kind of weird prophet.
It's one gym, it's the name of the gym.
Why are you wearing a button-up shirt at the gym?
I'm a chiropractor.
One gym, two husbands.
Fair enough.
Oh yeah, carapace.
Hey, do you do that adjustment
where you put your fingers inside the anus the coxas adjustment?
I've seen so many of those. I don't do
Guys man, but you do that
I want to look like
Shit
Look at his asshole you look at his asshole you did that caustics adjustment on him like an hour ago.
I did work on him right before this.
Oh, my God.
You know, he doesn't do that.
Cox, are you?
What is that guy on?
If he breathe, if he can breathe, it does.
He's actually never got caught in any of the other.
I fully erected something.
I don't know if you knew this, but all the games athletes are natty.
So do you guys want to give us like a 10 second countdown?
What's his name?
Brian Borough.
Brian Borough.
What's his name?
Brian Borough.
6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go.
What?
We'll take off a second.
We'll take off a second. 2, 1, go! Go! Yeah. What?!
Hahaha!
Ah, we'll take off a second, we'll take off a second.
Alright, we'll give him one second.
He couldn't hear you, it's too loud.
He was going...
He was like, what?
Oh my goodness.
There's no way all that muscle can do this.
There's no way.
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose!
He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's gonna lose! He's doing hand-dragging push-ups. Oh, oh, no! So now he's got to live with the embarrassment
for the next two games.
Oh, wow.
He's going to slow way down.
These will definitely separate the men from the bowlers.
I tell you, show some athleticism.
Yeah, but if you ask Taylor and Tell JR,
they're pretty stupid, but they will separate them.
Well, the height is gay.
That's all I'm saying.
The height is fucking stupid.
40 inches is pussy shit.
It should be 54 inches.
Zane's... Show some real athleticism.
Like, this is not even like getting over a fence.
This is like getting over a fucking curb.
That DNA for addiction logo is fantastic.
I love it.
I've been staring at it for about 10 minutes.
It's really good.
Yeah. And then just to the right of that one's another really good logo.
You know,
please donate one dollar to one hundred100 for Pedro's Computer Fund.
Pedro's brand new computer, uh, interacted with the three year old boy today and
lost the screen is broken.
We need Pedro to continue to be on the show.
What kind of computer do you need, Peter?
Uh, the one that he broke is an Apple Mac.
But what, what Apple Mac? Is this the one that you broke is an app for Mac but what what oh wait is this the one
that you bought out of shame the one I bought in yes yeah we shame a row is
like a pro with the touch does we we didn't do shit you shamed him so it's
not a new so it's not one of the newer Mac pro 156 yeah not bad not bad five oh that's not good as well that's not good well
Taylor's dumb too man that's a skinny fucking rope that's a good yeah he's
using a one inch row hands come on guys that's let's. Send in the PFA. The rope is fine where it was. That's just wasting time.
Oh, he's fucked.
Oh my God.
Oh!
Oh, it's a no-rock!
Oh, Brian!
Did you think he looked to the camera?
Did you think he looked over like, did they see that?
Oh, Brian!
Bring that meat, bring him over here!
Bring that meat-sicle over here bring that meat sickle over here
What hey you should have adjusted his a lot of all the choice might have done better. Hey guys
Okay, okay
Now listen, I got a question for you
How does a big strong handsome man like you end up with a fucking lip ring? What did uncle buck do to you as a kid?
bucked you to you as a kid.
How the fuck is a beautiful dude?
You're the most beautiful human we've ever had on the show. And you punched a hole in your lip.
Yeah, I don't know.
So I haven't trained CrossFit for probably eight months, but I thought this
one would still be good for me, but it's not, we were asking about the lip ring.
Not when you eat, when you me, but it's not. We were asking about the lip ring, not when you eat. When you eat pussy, can that thing get infected?
It's a mark.
It is a mark of ownership from the guys he played football with.
Hey, hey, I have a question.
When did you get the piercing?
When did you get the piercing?
Probably 14 years ago.
Do you still have a dad?
Did he say anything about that?
Yeah, I do.
He didn't care.
Oh, bullshit.
I got my ears pierced when I was 13 by this girl I was dating He didn't care. Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.
I got my ears pierced when I was 13 by this girl I was dating.
I came home, my dad called me the hard F.
That's the kind of house I grew up in. I took him out.
Dude, no, yeah, I got my ears pierced.
I asked, though, when I was like 16.
Hey, you have to take that out.
Oh, are you voting for Kamala?
Did he think you were transitioning when you got that? You do look like Phil Toon. Thanks for the question though, I appreciate it. Of course.
You go fuck yourself Taylor. I will maybe later. How old are you? I wouldn't expect anything less.
How old are you? I'm 35 next month.
Whoa, you look good for 35.
Like an emo fill tune.
Holy shit, emo fill tune.
That is so accurate.
Have you ever done a porno?
Have you ever been in a porno?
Not one that's made there.
Yeah, he buzzed way too long.
He made the internet.
Wow.
Alright buddy, hey, thank you for trying.
Uh, you look good, man.
We're just jealous.
I'll call it again.
Once I get my fingers painted too.
Awesome.
No, that's poop from doing a caustics adjustment on the other guy.
Yeah.
Don't let your chiropractor stick his thumb in your butt.
No, cauxics.
Wow.
That felt mean.
Yeah.
We were, we are really hard on that guy
Oh, who's this? How can you not be hard that lip really ridiculous, dude? That thing was oh, what?
Yeah, what is this? This guy looks like an elf from fucking Santa's lair. What is this guy?
Welcome to the beer
Related to John Young for me. Tell me he's not. Turn your phone sideways.
Oh my god, this guy's on more testosterone than Hiller.
Listen to this guy's voice.
It's 20 burpees, or sorry, 4 rope climbs, 20 burpees, then 315.
Legless rope climbs.
Yeah, I got that.
2, 10, 1, 5.
No, you finish on one legless.
Okay, so there's no 5 burpees at the end.
Correct.
It's just 3 rounds of burpees. correct. Okay. Hey, you're fucked
Hey, we'll see
You can't even remember those numbers, dude
Yes, I can all right our yoke is one of the ones that doesn't go down to 40 inches
So I gotta do box get overs too. So
Hey, what do you do for a living?
I'm a project manager for construction
Classic what kind of construction do they do?
I do mostly commercial
You build McDonald's?
No
Community center church that kind of stuff. Do you guys have any illegal migrants working for you?
No working for you? Uh, no. Liar! You fucking liar!
You're a fucking liar, bro.
I guess you don't want to own a business very long.
You got a fucking truck full of Haitian migrants in the back.
Dude!
Hey, listen.
He has a truck full of migrants in one yard and a truck full of dogs in the other.
You gotta unlock your phone.
Unlock your phone.
Your phone's locked.
The screen twist is locked.
Do you have an iPhone?
Yeah, it's unlocked
okay find a 14 year old girl in the gym to do it for you
no no
someone call radio station and they have to be told to turn the radio down
like Taylor just fucking up the instruction industry today
okay wait a second wait a second a lot of sketchy shit happening right now wait a second on dude this is not gonna work
someone get to take at the phone
what's your name Eli Eli okay you're gonna have to shoot vertical like that like this. No, just turn your head sideways guys. All right
Perfect. Okay
And then you guys are gonna count me down, right? Yes. Yeah, or you can have your buddy count you down
And we'll start the clock. Hey, what's seven on his nose is bigger than yours
That's not true. That's don't lie. That's crazy.
You got it.
Maybe close. Maybe close, Taylor, but I don't think so.
We're getting a clock.
Oh, now you got the clock.
Oh my gosh.
This is the jankiest setup.
If his nose was anywhere red, he'd have like a stereotypical alcoholics nose.
Yeah, he looks like Santa Claus.
Young Santa Claus.
Guys, we're giving away a thousand. Down Santa Claus. Young Santa Oh, sorry, are we keeping you waiting? I'm ready for my fucking Christmas
That's over 40 inches
You go soon as you grab the rope we'll start the clock you go
This camera to the right to the right to the right just a hair. Right. How do you go lower when he says to the right?
Caleb go nice. Nice Caleb.
It is a 40. 20. 40 and a matter.
Ski rude.
Sporty ladies and gentlemen. One.
Pedro whacked himself with that. That's
happened. Pagers computer was
broken today by a three year
old child. It's a brand new
Apple laptop. Please donate
$1 to $100 if you are watching
this show so we can get Pedro
a new laptop and so we can
stop talking about that that
conservatives are good people. 30 on. Oh geez. Before
the show like this. It
shouldn't count he can go
around the side. And you're
gonna be me this shouldn't
count. He'll act like he
doesn't have an accident. I the Buddy the elf. What are we calling him? What's the angry? Eli Eli.
If you'd like to win a thousand dollars, text nine to eight, five, eight, three, three nine. Oh three. Have your cell phone ready and you can win the thousand
bucks. Easy money. And where's down pepper or James Sprague or Jason Hopper?
Not today.
They all made bank last week in California, so they don't need to call in.
Hey, when was I off this? Uh, one 51. Not today. They all made bank last week in California, so they don't need to call in. Good point.
Hey, when was I off this?
151.
And if you do this, there's a perfect example of how not to set up your camera on the screen
right now.
What do you mean?
It's fine.
Oh, shit.
147.
He's chalking up.
Invalid.
That's confidence.
The guy that's holding it clearly has Parkinson's as well.
That's not a fault cable.
When was I off the rope climbs?
227.
Yeah, but your rope climbs are easier than that.
And he just barely got that one.
I'm pretty sure he missed that rope there.
He's in deep shit.
Oh, jeez. He's barely got that.
You didn't do a five second.
What are you going? Good job.
It was a good job. Oh, he's
getting tired. Oh, oh no. Did
he make it? This is an eye
player. He's right on pace. He got off at 227. He's right on
pace. If this were the oh no, no, I'm sorry. He's not on
pace. Hurry up. Barry Tracy for Pedro's laptop. Thank you so
much, guys. Thank you. Really? None of this money is going
towards towards pictures. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Yes. It's all going. This is
going obvious jiu jitsu lessons. I get it. I get a text after
this. Hey, Pedro. So we got $15 donated. It's all going to
Pedro. Oh, we have totally devolved here. What is this
guy doing? When did I get off
of these? You got a 330. 331 is
what I got. He's not gonna be
far off. Wow. What's this guy's
name? Eli. Eli the elf. His
name is Eli. He's an angry
elf. He looks like an Eli. So the the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the
the the the the He's got to go one more time. Yep. Where's he from?
Somewhere weird.
I bet it's like,
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way.
Oh, no way. Oh, no way. Oh, no way. Oh, no way the burpees in 4.35. Oh man.
Shout out to Eli for finishing.
Eli, you need to send it.
Pull Glee's comment up.
Way faster.
Glee, pull Glee's comment up.
Please, I don't have permissions right now.
No. Listen. No, no, no.
The Colton one.
I don't see it.
Oh, here it is.
The fourth last comment.
Colton said he was sick of taking money from Taylor this week.
No, you stupid fuck. Colton can't beat me in this workout. So he's not calling in.
Two fucking stupid comments, Glee. Go fuck yourself.
Yeah, John, yeah, finish this workout in three minutes.
Yeah, but John Young did assisted rope climbs and burpee box jump overs to a
20 inch box. There's Colton. Okay, he's gonna call in 1000
bucks baby. I heard Tia taught him how to do legless rope
climbs the other day. Now he's gonna smoke you. One more. Look at this guy. No shot.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Dude, you can't just not fucking finish.
It's one rope climb.
Oh my God.
I mean, you can.
Oh my God.
Manny Serrano, come have a margarita with me.
Damn, $4.99.
Only like $150 or $200 more of those of those Peter and you'll have a laptop.
Yeah.
Hey, anyone be Taylor?
No.
Wow.
You're the you got the closest dude Eli you got the closest and it wasn't close at all.
That wasn't that close.
Right.
Correct further than are you the third guy?
Is this the third guy?
Yeah. Wow. Further than everybody. Are you the third guy? Is this the third guy?
Yeah.
Wow.
Texas guy.
And you're from Eli.
Eastern Washington, Kashmir, small town.
Oh, wow.
You guys vote.
Yeah.
Who are you voting for?
I'm going.
I'll be going for Trump.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right. for. I'll be going for Trump. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. This view is weirdly arousing. Anyone
else? John Jenkins, thank you for the Pedro laptop fun. Really means a lot guys. This
is also around. That's also, Hey, this is is that's the last thing he did. He saw that's what he did
He saw before they took him away to jail
Yikes what you got out of that real fast. Hey, Eli, can we see your hands? Yeah
Oh my god, Taylor. Look look at his pinky show show the other side again
pinky show show the other side again. Oh my god. Is that second one on the round of two? No, to keep it moist, you just take
that thing and you put it right up your rear. Actually, when you
sleep, just keep it in there. Then you'll just you'll have to
cut it off. Second graders. It's unbelievable. I never see a full grown man talk like that.
Yeah, welcome to the show.
Hey, you live in Washington,
you've never seen a full grown man, period.
You can come up to the store in Washington sometime,
you'd be surprised.
All right.
Hey dude, thanks for calling in, you the man.
Great job on the workout.
Crushed it, good luck with your finger.
See you next week.
Yeah. Ouch. Ouch. Good luck with your finger. See you next week.
Ouch. Ouch. Nice hat. Vintage. It's crazy when people call in and they're shocked when we make poop jokes. We. Okay Tyler. Okay Tyler. Relax. We get it. You're a grown man.
Okay, Tyler, relax. We get it, you're a grown man.
You guys wanna take one more?
No, it's an hour in.
I would if it's Colton.
Hey, dude, that sign behind you is legit.
That's like an old school sign, that red one.
Is it, if it is Colton, let him on.
He doesn't have the balls to call in today, buddy.
He needs help getting his partner there.
Oatmeal, apples, a scoop of protein powder.
Oh, Ali said that Colton's trying to call in.
Oh, oh, oh, he's never called in and lost.
I don't think we need to start giving Taylor a handicap.
If Colton calls in, I've sent links to everyone.
Get away from me, dog.
I wonder, I wonder if my phone has blocked them.
Whose dog is that?
That is the...
Peter, watch your freaking mouth.
What are those called, Pomeranians?
Yeah, it's a, no, it's a papillon.
Greg Croak, $20 you demand, Pedro.
Thank you, Greg.
Means a lot, dude.
Look at this big fucking dog.
Guys, fuck off, I'm closing this.
Hey, give your dog a spoonful.
Hey, no, shut up.
It's not my dog. Please.
You kick my dog.
You come in, you kick my dog.
Yes.
Let's go.
15 foot rope climbs.
Okay.
Not 12. That's six times over your head, Colton. Hey, they're 15 foot rope climbs, okay?
Not 12.
That's six times over your head, Colton.
That's a 24 inch yoke, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God, this would make me so happy if he whoops up on you, Taylor.
There's no way.
I'm jumping off a bridge if he beats me.
You guys better pray for my life.
Hey, Colton, how certain are you you're going to be. You guys
better pray for my life. Hey,
Colton. How certain are you?
You're going to win.
He's been more certain.
$99. Thank you. Oh Jesus. This
can be hard to film. Oh, we
trust you. That's it. That looks good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah, I can turn it. I can turn. No, that's fine.
You'll hit the you'll hit the I can turn it portrait.
We trust you. It's not like you're, you know, a piece of shit.
Yeah, I'm not really.
Hey, oh, my God.
He said he's I'm not really out.
Colton, are you going to put your winners back from crash over the other one when you
win it?
Oh, my God.
That's a check right now.
Oh, that's to remember.
I've never seen this angle of his gym.
I didn't know there was a huge isn't it?
Yeah.
I do ever plan on painting the plywood.
I'm just curious.
Do you like that look?
Is it a pain? I thought about it.
I'll probably I don't know yet.
I thought about it.
Do you ever get regular people visit you there and they have to like stand like
that when they're standing inside?
What?
Stand like what?
Like what?
It reminds me of Rich Seniors barn.
Wait a second.
What the fuck did Kager just say?
Peter's trying to make a midget joke.
Yeah. But it didn't go well because it's like
it's like 30 feet high in there.
That's a tall ass thing.
Peter, I donated $4 to your laptop fund.
Be nice to me.
We'll send it right back.
Fuck Peter.
When Colton talks to me
he tries to do an Irish accent and
always does an Indian accent every time.
I'm working on it.
Give me some time.
They did it.
I'm going to fucking go.
I want to go to fucking go.
Do you know, actually, when you can do a perfect Irish accent accidentally when
he's in an ice bath, when he's shivering, he has an ice bath.
That's a fact.
I have a timer here.
I don't know if you can see it.
And I always got a kayak up
there. Look at that. Look to
the left. Hey, there's no way
Colton beats you today. He's in
a good mood. Look at it. He's
way too smiley and cuddly. Wow.
I'm really depressed. One of my
puppies left this morning. Oh,
oh, shit. That's what it is. We
Colton's depression is us
thinking he's happy. I love it.
Hey, did you just pack it in a Oh shit, that's what it is. We Colton's depression is us thinking he's happy. I love it.
Did you just pack it in a bag and walk off?
I ordered it. It'll be here. It'll be here. It should be here by Monday. Hey,
does that hurt every time you get rid of a dog Colton?
Do you want to keep everyone?
Um, help. It's dog is still alive.
It's kind of nice cause it's like, all right, that's like the finish line.
They're gone now, but it's also the kind of fun to have around.
It was the last.
No, I've got five left.
They're getting picked up next month.
Damn.
Does it hurt more when someone comes in a dock zone or when you put them in a
bin liner with some blocks and dropped them in a river?
Hey, that was disgusting.
I got any trouble yesterday because Bryson made a really nasty dog joke.
And my wife told me to condone it.
Not condone it.
The mom is condoning it.
You condone it?
She said you better not condone that.
But that dude said about third grade vernacular was pretty close.
Should I get started?
Yeah.
Hey, what kind of a notion do you have?
Can you see this clock?
No.
Caleb's got a good clock.
Just for me, I'll tell you when it gets to zero.
Ten seconds.
Yeah, Caleb's got a quick finger.
Seven.
Six.
So my mom tells me.
Five, four, three, two, one. I'm gonna give you a quick
I'm gonna spot him 25 seconds.
Crazy. He's actually a scale model of the other Barneys got.
Please donate a dollar to a hundred dollars,
please for Pedro's laptop.
We had a laptop, his brand new laptop broke today
and he didn't kill the little kid who broke it.
And so we're trying to raise money for Pedro
to get a new laptop so we don't lose them on this show.
Also this thousand dollars is brought to you
by DNA for Addiction,
DNA for Addiction.com.
You write the...
It's crazy that he doesn't wrap his feet
on the way down on the rope.
It's crazy he didn't touch the fourth rope line.
No, he didn't.
Well, Tyler shouted, there you go,
when he was up there.
Ah, forgive me.
Not for the laptop, okay? Minus a dollar ninety-nine, thank you.
Wow, he's moving.
Choo-choo.
He has to on this, though.
This is the difference between a professional and just the schleps who've been calling.
Should be a commercial for the airwaves.
It should be.
They're not smart enough for that.
They're in their fucking mouths.
What the fuck is your mouth guard doing in your mouth like that?
It's not in your mouth.
They have like dangles in their lip like that.
The Colt train has left the station. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm
the three Did he touch it
Three seconds ahead
The empty wheels
It's really close to his dream.
He's got to up. Fuck you guys.
The workout is four rope climbs and a bunch of four legless rope climbs, a bunch of burpees
over 40 inch yokes and three rope climbs, bunch of burpees, two rope climbs, bunch of
burpees and finished with one legless rope climb
Colton Merton's going for a thousand dollars
It's the ground like a fucking
No energy stopping himself
And that noise is noise isn't even his chest. It's his testicles. Oh
331 so 311 he's up by 20 seconds. Holy shit.
How much money is Colton won on this show? There you go.
I bet Lee is feeling pretty good about his commentary on that. Goaded Taylor into accidentally Bentley gold is causing him falling in. More than a Lincoln Poot, but it's just GoCal.
Come on. Oh no! Oh no!
Who wrote this workout, Taylor?
Me. Fuck you guys.
Hey, none of us are the ones that shouted,
Cole does not fucking beat me on this into the whiteboard.
He's hurting. He barely can get over the fucking yoke at this point. whoa, he's heard barely get over the fucking yo, yeah
Wow, he's hurting every time
Cold can hurt worse than basically anyone
That was meant to trigger Taylor hey Lizzy Google Maps than the clear the nearest bridge
The nearest bridge. The nearest bridge.
The nearest bridge.
Link Kong under $5 for the laptop.
And also shout out my wife, TikTok,
Twin Reads Sand Reds for all your wives.
Movie.
OK.
Oh, man, this is going to be hard.
Watch him fail.
Wow.
Wow. Fuck.
Killers. Wow. God damn.
Oh, that was the box.
The Colton Martin.
Holy shit. The big plot twist.
He's going to donate it to Tristan's GoFundMe to get to crack.
You're welcome. You can come to crash now.
They get double team. You're welcome.
You can come to crash now and
get double team. I mean, it's
here.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Didn't you beat you by like 30
seconds? Uh 13 seconds. 13 seconds. Yep. Okay. Is that your first workout of the day Colton? Yeah.
Oh so you cheated. I didn't warm up. Oh yeah he went to the dark spot. Wow. I really wasn't
going to call in today because I don't like calling in all the time and trying
to take an order to the show.
No you should call in every fucking week.
He fucked you.
Oh my god.
You should call in every fucking week.
Ow.
Oh my god.
Hey, you know Colton, if you win one more time we change the name of the show.
Oh my god.
Ouch.
Dude, Colton is, oh this is real dad?
Wow.
What's the temp inside that barn? Why did you have the door closed?
I was like, the doors closed just to keep the flies out.
I get a fuck ton of flies every time I open it.
But it's probably like, never say these.
They're fucking Steve flies. I open it. But it's probably like......mid upper 70s.
Is it, is it, is it...
What's the temp in there? Is it like 80 degrees? Is it hot in there?
Uh, it's probably a little under 80.
Probably...
...mid upper 70s.
Damn.
Well, you fucking kill- you fucking killed it, dude. What an incredible job. You were fucking dick out of your mouth, Sevan.
Tristey Harris, instead of pulling up GoFundMe
and taking hard work and American's paychecks
to fund your failed business trip to Spartanburg,
South Carolina, you can come in here
and beat down on a workout and earn your money.
Or, crazy idea, you can get to Spartanburg,
get on the podium and earn some money that way if you're good enough
He won't damn
He's an hwpo
People donating money just wait till tomorrow or something
Colton use your weekly paycheck from this show to buy a big-ass fan
Fuck you Baker. Hey, Allison is competing at from this show to buy a big ass fan. Weekly paycheck, fuck you, Bakerville.
Hey, Allison is competing at the Big One to Brawl right now in Tennessee.
Knoxville.
I think she won the first event.
Oh, that's awesome.
Allison.
Yeah.
Allison Zerky.
You're Ally.
I didn't know that was her full name.
Ally's full name is Allison.
I call her Ally, or Allison, and then when she's in trouble, I call her Ali and then or Allison and then
when she's in trouble, I call her Ali. Hey, why didn't you go
with her Colton? Isn't that like what you're supposed to do if
like you're like boning a chick you follow around to her comps?
Who says we're boning?
Colton's like dad's watching the show gotta clean that up.
up. Just Colton's like dad's watching the show. Gotta clean that up. I've been gone every month for the past three months,
I think and I'll be gone for the next three months as well.
So I'm gonna stay here and take care not take any time more
time away from the farm than I need to this comp. Will the
house be clean when she comes home? Oh yeah, dude. I'm really
clean. You'd be surprised.
I'm probably the cleanest pig farmer in the state.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
I'm not surprised.
How low is the bar for that?
It's not very high.
It's about as high as that yoke.
Hey, it's crazy because the other guys who came on the show were so good,
but then just watching how clean your movement is versus just these guys who are just these guys are just really good crossfitters
And then we see you and everything is just meticulous up the rope down the rope the burpee
That was my best rep I don't know you're talking about
I can you say about bills bench press other week. Yeah, no, I wasn't quite I wasn't quite at all.
I said Bill, he didn't do a single rep and he was like, shut up Taylor while he was
doing his benches.
Right.
I like Bill, but you got to lock that out.
I don't like Bill.
Oh, yeah.
I think he's an idiot.
I just had to tell Bill what to put his camera next time.
All right.
You don't, you don't like literally not staring right at his crotch.
Yeah.
Don't put it up your butthole and then your elbows look better from the side.
He didn't do that instead of his elbows.
It's all about framing.
Colton, do you have an addictive personality?
How do you think you'd score in the DNA for addiction tests?
You think like, if you got the test back, they'd be like, oh this keep this guy away from drugs
All right, I'm gonna send you one
Carla Colton have you ever done any drugs? You don't seem you seem a little square to me nerdy like you've never done any drugs
Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Yeah. Have you? I've smoked a cigarette before. Cigarettes don't count as smoking. I think that they actually do.
No, you don't inhale. What's a steroids? Is Andy hosting a coffee morning or what the fuck is going on?
Yeah, basically.
It's a fucking senior.
They're having an AARP meeting in the fucking office there.
Carla, 20 bucks.
Thank you, Pedro.
Appreciate it.
Ed, he's addicted to pegging Taylor.
Oh shit.
You'd be in a for addictions. Come back two weeks away from you guys seeing who's got the bigger peg
Hey, but truly just Taylor is Taylor gonna take second to you at crash again. I
Mean
Does he every time I talk to him on the phone he says there's two workouts that are no one in the world can beat him at
Interesting he said that about this one though, too
I think Cheddar would do really well on the running burpee over yoke deadlift
I think he'll do really well on the final event with the broke clams and overhead squats
Quads overhead squats. Yeah, there's not very many. Is there? That's my best squat.
Yeah, he'll do well with those. There might be two workouts that favor him, but there's
four that favor me, I think, and maybe five. So we got, we got crop top Nicky in there
and Chrissy Ibarra. Oh, really crop top Nikki is not a threat at all.
The guy has zero fitness.
He's got half a lung emphysema.
He hasn't competed in two years.
Nobody cares about him.
Thank you.
Thank you for the Pedro computer.
Yeah.
Chris Ibarra.
That's going to be the one to worry about.
Is he? No, he's not. No one's worried about him.
He's literally not worried at all.
What workouts do you think he could beat both Taylor and Ion?
I think he's got a good chance of hanging with Taylor on the deadlift run workout.
Oh, you're tarted.
See, the thing is, nobody's going to do those deadlifts better than me.
I'm not as good of a runner as Taylor.
Obviously you're not bad nor cow.
I'm not bad.
I'll be good at the Burpees over the yoke.
So I think it'll be a dog fight.
Damn.
Those, it's funny because those weren't, those weren't the two I was talking about when there's
two that nobody will beat me in.
The last time Taylor did burpees on camera crash, it worked out really well for him.
So I'm sure it'll be fine.
Which ones are you talking about?
The dumb standard?
Yeah, no one's going to come within 15 seconds even to me on dumb standard.
And then the biker track workout.
I'm going to murder everyone.
Isn't that like a 12 minute workout?
What?
Dumb standard.
No, it's not a 12 minute workout. It's like a I'm
not going to tell you how
not 12 minutes buddy.
No one's gonna come with you in 10 seconds of a 12 minute
workout.
No, it's we faster than that.
We will be streaming the crash crucible live here on the seven
podcast All Star cast John Young, Bill Grunler, myself and
others will be doing the uh broadcast coverage
It's gonna be wonderful suzer will brandstetter will be making sure that all the technical shit and bryson is
On point colt murton's will be there who else taylor self chris habaro crop top nicky
That's really all you guys need to worry about me and colton
We're going to be trading back if christian gets enough donations. He might be there
drake I like marlo, dude I'm going to be trading back donations. You might be there
Drake. I like Marlowe, dude.
Brittany Weiss. No, he was
there last year. Where's
Hatfield? What's he doing this
weekend? Eating rabbits being
soft. Is he going to Rogue? Shouldn't he go to rogue? Carlos
Carlos thank you for the laptop fun 999 Carlos young new
Walters pull this frickin idiots comment up. You are such a dumbass. Hey, dude
Do you know how much easier it is to beat someone in a workout when you watch their time?
God, this guy's dementia. You're Joe
Biden. You look like you talk like him. Get this guy out. Get
him out of my face.
As much as Taylor is as much as Taylor is a beast. It's amazing
what it takes to get to that 1% in the world.
Out.
There's got a point though. I don't know if I would have done
that if I didn't know his time.
Really?
Oh god, Colton is so soft today.
This is a whole new side of Colton.
Welcome to the Sweet Colton show.
He's missing Ali.
Listen, the guy had to get rid of a dog today.
He sold a dog today and he's all fucking busted up.
What can we say?
Alright everyone, thanks for joining in.
Colton, you the man. You'll be getting a thousand bucks soon.
We'll talk to all you guys soon. Bye bye.