The Sevan Podcast - KT Ep. 12 | EASIEST $2,500 You'll Ever Make
Episode Date: July 15, 2024Home Grown Relief, use code "TAYLOR20": https://hgrcbd.com/ Donate to help Andy Hendel here - https://navysealmuseum.networkforgood.com/projects/229835-andy-hendel-s-fundraiser www.affiliatevideocon...test.com FITAID, 40% Off: https://www.lifeaidbevco.com/fitaidrxz-sevanpod?utm_medium=pdcst&utm_source=sevanpod&utm_campaign=promo__pdcst-sevanpod-qr My Tooth Powder "Matoothian": https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS: Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Bam! We're live!
The greatest show
on the internet is live.
Pedro White from
Coffee Pods and Wads on the top. HillerFit
making the greatest videos
in the CrossFit space. Maybe in any space. God, you're
getting good. HillerFit
on YouTube. Tyler Watkins,
CEO, founder of the Heat One app, giving away
$10,000
at the CrossFit Games.
Super easy.
Download the Heat One app
and you can play.
This show sponsored to you
by,
by,
for the second time.
I make myself fucking big.
I'm the man.
Look at this.
Look at this.
HGR CBD gummies.
I don't keep these out in the house.
I can't let the kids be getting these.
If something happens to me
during the show,
Those look delicious.
call my wife. I think you have to do one every you're supposed to eat the tub i'm afraid i might eat the tub
carl hdr cbd everything is 75 off right now with code seven
do you have any of those?
That's not true.
That's not true.
I gave them to my dog the other day during the fireworks.
No shit.
Yeah.
They make dog stuff.
Damn, these are good.
Damn, these are good.
Also, ladies and gentlemen, this is...
Oh, where is the QR code for FitAid?
Will's FireIDAID.
This is FIDAID.
Oh, shit.
Where is the QR code for FIDAID?
Come on, Will.
Anyway, listen.
Listen, listen, listen.
This show is a special show.
It's called the Inclusivity Show.
All non-whites who try
the show today,
non-whites,
will get a free case
of FitAid.
So this is your chance.
And I love Jews in there too.
Non-whites
and Italians?
No.
Italians are whites, huh?
Wait, so if a white person tries
they don't get a case no no well maybe but don't ruin my don't ruin my bit this is the most equity
equity this show believes in equity more than any other show well maybe in the planet uh blacks uh
asians uh browns uh and jews browns i I'm just throwing Jews in because I got IOM3Js.
How do you differentiate a Jew from anyone else?
Don't, don't, don't, Hiller.
We'll talk after the show.
Don't ruin my day.
I just don't get it.
Oh, man.
If they're circumcised or not.
Thank you, Pedro.
Thank you.
Thank you, Pedro.
All right.
We're going to have to see your penis.
The workout great, ladies and gentlemen.
That's a Jew for sure.
In the shot of your penis. All uncircumcised males
Listen okay so
It is the exact same workout
As last week for 2500 bucks
Plus one round
We had too many
Pussies
Four rounds for time 100 foot sandbag over
The shoulder
Can roll it as far as you want. And then a 100-foot
sandbag lunge going back. We allow D-balls.
We do?
I think last week he did it
in under five minutes. We don't discriminate
Mondo balls. Yeah. All-color
balls are welcome. Anyone signs
into the D-ball, they're going to destroy him.
Well, do it.
Did he put rubber in his bag this week?
Now's your chance.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Bryson Del Monte,
Caleb Beaver, by the way, thank you, Will Branstetter,
for setting everything up so beautifully.
Send in your request for a
link right now, 928-583-3903.
Thank you to HGR, CBD.
I apologize that there's
no link to the FitAid,
but it doesn't surprise me
The greatest show in the world has to have some flaws
Also thank you to BirthFit
Paper Street Coffee
And of course CA Peptides
You're welcome to be a juice to the gills
We don't discriminate
This is the most inclusive
Sporting event in the world
You said it too many times now
Now we don't believe you
Taylor Self Sentinel Training
14 day free trial Lower lower right-hand corner.
Oh, that's what happened.
What?
Okay.
Bryson, we're ready when you are.
Caleb, we're ready when you are.
Will Branstetter, thank you.
That shirt does not fit him.
It fits you great.
You look great, Taylor.
No.
Put it to the white guy.
No.
It looks like
It's a double XL
And we're off
Wow
That's a hell of a throw
Hey dude he's refined his throw
We should have gotten Mondo Ball to sponsor this
No dude it's a different angle
You don't think it's rolling further this week?
There you go this is what we're accustomed to
This is why it looks so good
Yeah boy nice Bryson del monte with two cameras those cameratos unfortunately last week we did
not get the time on the first round that's a broad use of we that's my first sip of paper
street coffee this morning yum hey i swear we're gonna see more people talking shit about just adding around and that being the workout i haven't seen one bad comment about that
they know that it was lame but that's it they know yeah 2500 bucks you better keep your mouth
shut for 2500 see is he on pace for what yeah yeah yeah because he crawled i think he was at 52
seconds last week right there? There we go.
Yeah, sure.
Ryan, I got good notes on Ryan, the last guy.
He finished this round in 131 last week, and he was moving well.
Yeah, I think he was, and he was 50 this week.
He's two seconds faster this week.
See, Mike B says that it's lazy programming,
but I'll tell you that it's actually probably the opposite.
Do you think it was lazy when Dave programmed Murfin back-to-back CrossFit games? I don't think so. It was awesome.
Yeah, this is genius, I think.
It was awesome and lazy,
I think. Yeah.
It's better for hotter.
130.
Oh, so he is two seconds faster,
right? Yep.
According to my notes.
At what point do you think he couldn't just add rounds so like
next week's five and the next week is six rounds yes by wow i'm down for time i'm down every minute
45 to failure or something like that that'd be cool i just collect the sponsor money i'm not
worried about the workouts right i'm worried about the fact that he is slowed down at this and this round
it looks like what do you think tyler yeah not yeah a little bit his transition's a little slow
it's just so crazy because of how well he throws the ball that was like the main feedback i got
from people who actually did it last week and then like my sister-in-law she was like i just
couldn't throw it like he does and you would think that a woman would be able to do it, right?
With kind of a little more flexibility.
Yeah.
I don't know.
This dude's spying.
It's crazy.
225.
That's your sister-in-law who has the same name as her sister,
apart from crossing the L's and T's.
Yes.
Janelle and Jeanette.
I don't like that at all.'re twins it's maddening are
they actually twins yeah they're actually twins oh god that's that's lazy parenting
$2,500 this week people taylor is at crossfit charlotte we're the home of kill taylor owned
by andy hendel maybe andy will do it again too feel free to stop in and cheer taylor on any saturday
at 8 a.m uh viewers uh 50 to watch this event live here we go all right last week
so he was five seconds behind he's five seconds behind last week almost to the dot he's pacing
himself i'm surprised we haven't seen oh what was his time there himself. I'm surprised we haven't seen... What was his time there?
3.12.
I'm surprised we haven't seen any live viewers show up
or anyone come and challenge him live there.
Hey, set it up.
Oh, they turned off the gym, yeah.
Yeah.
Now he's definitely slowed down.
He turned it up last week.
Didn't that happen in Los Angeles?
Yeah.
When he did the workout in Los Angeles,
someone showed up to do the workout there.
It should have happened in Texas too.
I don't even know if he's going to Texas now.
Now?
Why do you say now?
Nah, details should be details.
Someone took a dump in JR's gym and it's changed everyone's plans.
Joking, not joking.
I feel like somehow or another jason's responsible
even though i know it was a flood but somehow this lays back on jason
i could see jason taking a massive gnarly crap it never happened before brookwell's turned up
oh that's a nice clearance of the line great throw yeah clutch move that real quick
it was jeanette last week who uh was it it's jeanette right she threw it right on the line great throw yeah clutch move that real quick it was jeanette last week who uh
was it it's jeanette right she threw it right on the line yeah jeanette just like i said
we are blessed by celebrity with carlos cueva in the chat the creator of the theme song for
the sevan podcast carlos good morning is that his voice i't know. I can't wait to see this dude in person.
I'm going to go, hey, can you say it's the Stefan podcast show?
Just three times fast.
Oh.
Oh, I need to get that on film if he's at the games.
It'll be like Becky Hart saying it's just a thruster in the behind the scenes.
You know what that is?
Awesome.
Legendary right there.
Yeah.
Really pro move on that part uh so last week the last week the workout would have been over there and he's four seconds slower than he was last week
442 last week so he's 18 seconds slower how cute bryson and taylor wearing how much slower
18 oh i mean i would expect that bryson and taylor wearing how much slower 18 oh i mean i would expect that
bryson and taylor wearing matching shirts that they both look like they got out of their
father's closet very cute why they're dead so much larger than they are
before and after photo but they're wearing the before t-shirt like holding up the big jeans uh
shirt like holding up the big jeans uh i don't know man you think he's gonna speed up on this fourth round you got you got round around splits tyler yes okay i i don't think so i think he's
gonna hold out i mean like he's holding a good pace right now as far as we can tell
he was only four seconds faster over three rounds or slow. That's pretty good 18
I was listening to seven on sorry fake news
Yeah, fake news
Whoa this week. When are we gonna start kicking people off? We're gonna know when they're not gonna make it
Pretty off around two. It'll be pretty apparent. I'm guessing I can't feel my feet. Is that the gummy?
No, dude, I'm guessing. I can't feel my feet. Is that the gummy? No, dude.
I hope not.
When you think you don't have feet,
that'll be the gummy.
That's the diabetes.
Thank you, Fitch.
Oh, no.
Those margaritas.
I'm so tempted to have a second one.
Just do it.
Every few minutes.
You're drinking papistry too,
so to balance it's out of fact.
Here we go. Look at the clock, people.
Yup.
$643.
$3.
$3.
$2,500.
928-583-3903.
Come get some.
Someone said Willie George is going to do it.
Don't even bother, Willie.
It's a man workout yum 40 off at fit 8 if you can find the right code, the QR code. Probably got to go back to an old show or something.
Taylor Self.
I thought that was $2,000 for a minute from Daniel.
Say that again?
I thought that was a $2,000 super chat.
Thank you for the $2,000, Daniel.
Daniel Lyon. Daniel Lyon.
$2,500 if you can beat that time.
It would be 6 minutes and 42 seconds of uh work for you caleb has the official time to the uh hundredth of a
second it's okay to scale it to a 25 pound wall ball yeah as long as you're joe biden you can do a 25 pound wall ball and still lose
2500 bucks i hope no one don't even bother it's so um uh it's so funny how few people
understand the show one every week someone's like oh you know if no one would have called
in i was gonna do it like go fuck yourself nobody called in last week Yeah But four people did do it last week I think
Yeah
After like an hour
Yeah
That gives us a chance to interview Pedro
Find out what it's like to live on an island
Where everyone's inbreeding
Below average
That's how it is
Oh Jesus
I'm in a Boeing Max I love you all
Holy shit Oh my god How do you all holy shit nice knowing you god
how do you know what type of plane you're in now everyone checks
i've never known i have never known either don't it's on a safety card
if you're sure i'm an avid reader of those uh delta does not have any Boeing Maxes, I believe.
Probably Suze's flying on United Home from New York right now.
Oh, my goodness.
Does American Airlines have these Boeings?
I don't know.
I'm flying on American to Texas.
Same.
Why do you guys even care what sort of plane you're on?
I don't either.
I don't get it.
If I'm going to die, I'm going to watch out.
It's only going to matter for like 60 seconds. On the way down, you're like, shouldn't have gotten on this plane. die right it's only gonna matter for like 60 seconds hey on the on
the way down you'd like shouldn't have gotten on this plane and then it just doesn't matter anymore
let me give you just let me give you just one reason that's when you grab the card then you're
like oh what plane is this they had a they had a pile they had a pile of 400 rejected parts
at the boeing manufacturing plant like just this area where
there were 400 parts that had been rejected in defaulty and they don't know what happened to
them and the best theory that they have is that someone installed them in planes that's skin wow
no that's his circumcision he wants the fit ahead case that's a hg or cbd go. Bryson, what was that? That was part of his knee.
You don't need that.
Wow.
He tore skin from his knee doing the lunges.
Is this true, Daniel?
Spiegel just referred to this as a made-up show.
That's not true.
It is a made-up show.
Everything is made up.
Yeah.
Yeah, isn't every show made up?
That's the truth.
No, baseball is not made up.
Right. Jesus created it. That's good. Well, then he made it up. Isn't every show made up? No, baseball is not made up. Right. Jesus created it.
Then he made it up.
No. Blasphemy.
Then we would be made up
and we're not made up.
Then we made up that he made it up.
Taylor looks thicker.
Even though he's on that special diet now.
He's on some sort of special diet.
He doesn't need Oreos.
Free case of FitAid for anyone who tries to take on Taylor Self this week,
every week, any week.
We still don't have the Kill Taylor shirts for the participants,
but we are working on it.
He's walking through CrossFit Charlotte where he just finished the week 75
of the Kill Taylor show.
$2,500 if you can beat him.
All you got to do is send in a text. I'll send you a link.
You get to do the workout live.
We compliment you on your form.
Oh, my goodness.
Fatad.
That's a lot of fatad.
My tongue is numb.
Is that the CBD?
Yes, actually.
Yeah, probably.
Use code Taylor20 at HGRCBD.
Oh, that sucks.
What?
It should be my name.
I'm the star.
Sevan20.
Kill Sevan.
Disgusting.
It should be WizardSleeve20.
Look, Taylor walks.
That is true.
Taylor walks in the room and that dog automatically lifts its tail up and goes in down dog like it knows.
Master.
Taylor should do that if companies are like, hey, we want to sponsor you.
What code would you like us to use on your website?
They'd be like, Labia Majora, please.
That's a good cheat code to Sentinel Training.
Just go and start typing those words in the discount code section.
You'll hit one.
What's it say on his arm?
The obese should die on his right arm form?
Yeah.
The obstacle is the way.
In this case, it's obesity.
The obese should die.
It's diet.
This show is so naughty.
Taylor ran out of money the last little bit of that
everyone that hates a white supremacist all you have to do is enter and win 2500 today
put it to the man he is a bathroom towel with him what is wrong with him he's getting more
what's wrong with that more manly every day there's a shower like behind him
it's just so janky i think he recovered faster this week
i'd say so probably didn't go as hard even with the extra round he scaled intensity
dixon dixon uh this is why becca's mom hates someone i think he hates a little
by the way someone in the comments yesterday is like someone do you not understand how a Anyways, Dixon, Dixon. This is why Becca's mom hates Sevan. I think he hates a little bit.
By the way, someone in the comments yesterday is like,
Sevan, do you not understand how a torque tank works?
The harder you push it, the more resistance it gives.
Yeah, that's why it's stupid for a games workout.
I hate it when people post shit and they're just completely missing the point.
Taylor, what's up, baby?
No, they proved me.
Yeah, they proved my point, but they proved to me that they don't listen to the show.
How are you doing, buddy?
Hey, you recovered faster than last week, even though it was a longer workout.
I'm never doing that again.
Why?
Next week, five rounds.
Even before I started, I was like, fuck this.
I'm here.
I think you did your first cross with the throws two seconds faster.
And then I think then you came by the time you finished the four rounds.
I think you were 14 seconds slower.
Tyler will tell us from the Heat One app exactly,
but slower than your finish time.
Which I think is appropriate.
Yeah.
You look like, did you pull up in the third round?
You're like, oh, I'm going to hit a wall. Yeah, for sure. Well wall sure well i wasn't gonna hit a wall i just knew that i had one more round and
yeah it's better than uh better to pull up a little bit in round three so you can push in
round four than to explode in round four you i taylor if i know if i remember correctly you knew
last week when you finished this workout very quickly
that you were going to do the same workout with one more round, right? And normally like you
wait a little bit longer to know, do you remember why that clicked in? Um, just because not very
many people called in and a lot of people were talking shit like, Oh, if you want games athletes
to call in, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And also it's a bit of an homage to Dave and old school CrossFit and kind of be like, hey, you don't think we're going to do this?
Fuck you.
Yeah.
And also it's $2,500.
If you're not calling in because the workout looks hard for $2,000, yeah, good.
I don't give a fuck if you call in.
No one calls in this week.
Next week's $3,000. And I already know next week's workout you call in No one calls in this week next week's three grand
And I already know next week's workout
And no one's beating me in that
And no one's gonna call in next week either for sure
Just from the little bits you've told me about the workout
No one's calling in next week
Next week's just gonna be a short show we'll make it like 15 minutes
Alright call in and we're done
Either no one's gonna call in
Or there'll be some people that are very very good And they'll call in and we're done. Either no one's going to call in or there will be some people that are very, very good
and they'll call in and destroy me.
Taylor, the gym looked very empty today.
I feel like on Saturdays I usually see at least a few people walking around.
What's going on?
Is it a different Saturday today?
We changed our class hours during the summer to just one Saturday class instead of two.
Okay.
And you finished the work.
Is Andy even there?
No. He's in Austin
with Spencer.
Spencer's got like
a jujitsu tournament
or something.
Oh, no shit.
Spencer's doing
the jujitsu thing, huh?
Yeah, he's doing
the jujitsu.
He must be gnarly.
Oh, good point, Andy.
Is Spencer gnarly?
Yeah, maybe.
Jujitsu sucks.
Spencer said I was
going to get somebody
rabbed out with this workout.
The best part about CrossFit
is working out with your shirt off
and the worst part about Jiu-jitsu
is you've got to wear a carpet
when you roll around with the men.
That's hilarious.
A carpet.
The Nogi guys are allowed to just wear shorts.
You don't even have to wear a shirt.
Dude, I don't know how I'm supposed to do
event one with Jason today. No idea you don't even have to wear a shirt. Dude, I don't know how I'm supposed to do event one with Jason today.
No idea how I'm going to run.
Oh, so, so I asked you that.
Maybe this will help.
Yeah. Tell us how that, go ahead. Take a sip of that Fit Aid.
Right here.
The sugar one. You're going to hell, but go ahead.
Yep. The Flintstones vitamin flavored one.
How have you guessed what workout one is going to be?
Like what way did just going off based off what uh spin put out trust that guy so and testing it any other way is
like test it the hardest way and then all the other ways you're good you know what i mean
hardest way is to run three and a half miles or three to three and a half miles and then finish
with the rest of the distance swimming by far.
What's the longest distance swim you've ever done?
Two miles,
maybe open water with fins.
I think Grace Walton in her interview with Dave said she did a four.
She's done four 20 K swims and she tried out for the Olympic team in
Australia.
Yeah.
She did something like a pool.
No coastal, like from one city to another city.
Wow.
It's like an annual race or something.
So she's going to butt rape everyone that first workout.
If it's anything over 800 meters, I don't think anyone else has a chance.
I don't think she beats Tia.
I do.
I do.
That is a massive advantage.
How much can you make up on an 800-meter swim on a three-mile run?
Think about this.
A three-mile run takes, for those athletes, 21 minutes.
An 800-meter swim in open water probably takes 13 minutes.
Oh, it's a pool.
It's a big pool.
That area is a big pool.
Yeah.
How many minutes did you say?
14, 15 minutes?
At least.
No, it's like seven.
No, it's not.
Seven minute 500 in a pool would be good for most of the games athletes.
And that's flip turning every 25 yards, pushing off.
Take away all that.
It makes you slower.
No, it doesn't.
It makes you faster.
You push off the wall.
That means you're a shitty swimmer if you're slower if you're slower in a pool you're a
shittier swimmer you think you're gonna go faster on 25 by 2 than 50 by 1 in a pool
100 the flip turn if you were good at means you're a shitty swimmer no no dude ask thank
you andrew for keeping him in check. Taylor.
Where's chasing?
Chase chime in.
He's a good.
You know why Taylor's not getting upset?
Cause he finally knows what he's talking about.
Dude, my, my body is fucked up.
I'm never. How'd you feel last Sunday?
After doing this, were you fine?
Yeah.
Was your ass broken?
My ass was a little sore last Sunday.
My ass was a little sore last Sunday. My ass was a little sore last Sunday.
Um,
but right now my quads and back feel at the most.
Don't you wish you had some,
uh,
HGR CBD gummies,
uh,
gummies.
No,
I take the,
I take the recover,
the recover cream.
And I'm going to use some of that.
Probably going to rub my cock with it.
Oh,
you got the gummies.
I do. Do you feed those to your dogs, you got the gummies. I do.
Do you feed those to your dogs? Do you boof those?
I do. They're suppositories. They're more potent if you just tuck one up there with
the old back jaw. Honestly, the truth
is I can't leave these in the house now that
they're open because the kids will eat them even if I tell
them not to. That's the worst thing that can happen.
They'll sit down and eat the whole jar.
I don't know how I peeled half my kneecap off
with knee sleeves on. I think because they were soggy.
Can we see your knee?
Susan.
How does that happen?
A chunk came off of it.
Red spot.
Yeah, and a chunk of skin came off?
Yeah, I think it's just because my skin was so soggy because I had those knee sleeves on for 40 minutes.
A Bryson.
Soggy knee.
That would never happen to Bryson because of the thick calluses he has on his knees.
That would never happen to you because of the thick calluses on your knees.
Tell Bryson to take off his backpack and stay for a while.
It's fine.
He's got to go drop his dog off because we're going on a late-night workout.
Do you know what he's doing, Taylor?
He knows that we're going to make him do the fucking workout,
so he's fucking leaving.
Good.
I hope nobody calls in.
You're all fucking pussies.
Look at the freaking cash box.
It's $2,500.
If you don't call in, oh, my God, I don't know what to tell you.
Willie Georges is going to be here.
He said so.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, oh, oui, oui, oui.
I will call in Mr. Taylor from France.
Vive la France.
No way he addresses you as Mr. or anything.
Mr. Kill Taylor.
Oui, oui, oui.
Yeah, he thinks your first name is Kill.
It's all good, bro.
How many Frenchies does that convert to?
How many Frenchies is 2,500 bucks?
$12 million. 12 million. Yeah, Frenchies. No, Frenchies. They're called Frenchies is 2,500 bucks? 12 million dollars.
12 million euros.
No, Frenchies. They're called Frenchies.
French fries?
It would allow you to buy
13 large
Palestinian flags for the protest
next week in Paris.
What is that protest?
Sorry, bro. Hey, if you're going to talk shit...
Alright, look. So, this is the other thing.
We're at.
Every weekend we do this workout at CrossFit Charlotte.
CrossFit Charlotte.
Yep. My boss, Andy Hendel, we're one of the, he's one of the first 100 affiliates in the world, CrossFit Charlotte.
And one of maybe like 200 or maybe 300 or fewer level four trainers.
Level four trainer, Andy Hendel. Let me be like a rapper. I'll repeat some stuff you say.
All right, sick.
He's been amazing to me since I moved here.
I moved to Charlotte like six years ago.
I was a fledgling, a little level one.
Got my level two.
Former drug addict.
Former drug addict.
I got my level two here.
I got gymnastics course, weightlifting, all that, et cetera, level three.
Got your wife there.
Got your wife there.
Exactly. Got my wife. Cool Got your wife there. Exactly.
Got my wife.
And through COVID, we grew a bit.
He's just been a massive mentor to me.
And a couple years ago, three years ago, I was actually at Crash Crucible, JR's competition.
And I finished.
He had done this thing that year, maybe earlier that year or the year prior to where they hiked, uh, the grand Canyon,
the grand Canyon for the Navy seal museum charity. Um, Oh, Navy seals. Yeah. So real quick,
you have my attention, right? So it was this crazy hike, did it with like Chris Smith,
a bunch of other guys, um, who do that charity. And, uh, basically if you don't have to be a
seal to go on it, but you have to raise like a certain amount of money to be a part of that trip.
So if you say you raise five grand for the charity, you get to be a part of the trip.
If you don't raise your money, you don't get to go.
So he went on that.
And then a year later, I was doing Crash Crucible.
I finished the weekend, beat the shit out of everybody.
I'm stoked, high on life.
Beat the shit out of everybody.
Taylor Self, there he is.
Now he's got his own show.
And prior to the weekend, Andy was going on a 400-mile bike ride for the same charity. It gets shit out of everyone. Taylor self. There he is. Now he's got his own show. And prior, prior to the weekend,
Andy was going on like a 400 mile bike ride for the same charity.
It was just the next year.
Um,
the not as trace trail.
Um,
you glossed over 400 miles.
Pretty easy.
Crazy for 400 mile bike ride.
No idea how prepared he was,
but anyways,
I get a call.
I'm at crash.
I just finished the podium ceremony.
I get a call from Andy Maria's daughter and she's like, hey, coach is dead.
Did she really say that?
He was in the ambulance, and he had flatlined like three times.
He's like, he's been flatlining.
We have no idea what's happening.
He had a heart attack, they think.
They found him on the side of the road, and he's in the hospital.
This is Andy?
Yeah.
This is on a 400-mile bike ride.
He was flatlined?
Right.
The guy who did the workout last week after you, the tall guy.
Right.
Was that the actual conversation?
Hey, coach is dead.
Was that the sequence of words?
That's all I remember, dude.
I just remember being like, what?
Did you cry?
Did you feel your tear ducts turn on?
Did you get turned on?
No, I didn't cry.
Yeah, did you get hard? I've didn't cry yeah did you get hard for you guys look my dad's already died so there's nothing i could cry from now but anyways
he he had this heart attack i i was like holy fuck i was honestly in shock and uh
so for a month he's in the hospital basically basically in Tennessee. I'm running the gym for him. He gets back, and he looks like how you would imagine someone who's 65 years old
that is like fragile, a very fragile person.
That's how he looked.
Like he looked every bit of his age.
It was crazy.
And he's typically like 200 pounds and like yoked.
I mean, you guys saw him last week.
But the doctors saved his life.
They saved his life.
CrossFit saved his life, I think life crossfit saved his life i think just
being as fit as he was um and so back in the first place then i don't know it's a great question i
don't went too hard maybe he wrote wasn't at all prepared for a 400 mile bike ride the stress of
dealing with taylor day-to-day finally i know I know why he had a heart attack. Shut the fuck up.
So, anyways, he's been training the whole past year to redo that bike ride for the Navy SEAL Foundation, the Navy SEAL Museum Charity.
I want to pull this up real quick.
I got it.
Don't worry about it, Caleb.
No, Caleb's got it.
Oh, Caleb, you got it?
You got the charity page?
Pull that up.
Starling.
Thank you, Elon.
No, the other one.
See, this is why
i was going to do it you guys hey be cool be cool be cool get all kinds of time yeah no one's calling
it anyway so basically it's uh this charity program and what they do is it's a charity that
distributes money they collect money for programs for special operation forces guys and their
families like scholarship funds for the kids and stuff of these people housing affordable housing um all sorts of stuff so
they're just raising money for this charity hey taylor why doesn't he do a charity for a fucking
heart attack foundation charity for maybe he has one already dumbass oh okay fine just checking
all right and then go to the next one so basically uh he's redoing this bike ride he's been training
for the past year um oh jesus this is the third year one. So basically, he's redoing this bike ride. He's been training for the past year.
Oh, Jesus.
This is the third year anniversary of his bike ride.
What's the longest he's gone in training?
Several hours, several times a week.
Why is he doing it again?
Why is he testing fate again?
I don't think he's testing fate.
I think he's conquering something that conquered him.
I think it's admirable.
If you
get the shit beat out of you in a CrossFit workout
you don't be like, I'm never going to do that again.
If something beats you and challenges you, it's something
I think that, I think it's a worthy
goal one and it's also for a worthy cause.
If you guys are feeling generous, we're going to drop this
link in the chat. Donate to Coach.
Donate to the Navy SEAL charity.
Navy SEAL Museum Charity
Foundation thing.
I can't click it. Oh, we'll put it
also in the show notes.
You can copy and paste from the
show.
There's like an aspect of that
where you were swimming, you were surfing,
and there were some sharks, and you got your leg
bitten off by a shark, and he's like,
fuck it, I'm going to go surfing again.
I'm going to kill all the sharks. I got all these sharks out here. No, it's not, because you have no control by a shark and he's like fuck it i'm gonna go surfing again all the sharks out here
no it's not because you have no control over a shark he has control over his fitness hey he was
plenty fit hey um how many miles did he make it before his ticker went out i have no idea that's
what i wanted to know like yeah are we talking like you were 25 miles in or were you 230 early
on i think it was pretty early on and and to be honest, you know, I think he had a lot of blockage from, you know,
he's from the 80s football guy.
He was not super healthy as a young guy.
Cocaine and McDonald's.
Dude, I mean, I don't know if that's exactly right.
But think about, dude, he's like, I would say his natural body weight is
probably like 200 pounds.
Oh, here he goes.
25 miles in, his ticker went out.
For 10 years in the NFL or USFL, he had to –
He is old.
He's watching from Facebook.
I know.
I was looking at that too.
My God.
Is that just his page or is it the whole page?
Andy just keeps refreshing Facebook waiting for his next high school reunion.
Stop.
Andy just keeps refreshing Facebook waiting for his next high school reunion.
So I think imagine like forcing yourself to be 240 pounds just so you could be barely heavy enough to be in the NFL for 10 years.
Like I would imagine that.
How heavy was he?
240 in the NFL.
He's 200 now.
Like his natural body weight.
Fuck you.
Perfect.
That's what we're here for.
Wow. So no callers, guys. I love it.
It's really easy to donate to that.
I just did it.
Can you please start putting the workout in the video description or somewhere on the screen for easy access?
Very, very smart of you, Jason.
Merry moon. Merry mon.
Damn, that is not very often that you say some shit
where you're agreeing with the commenters.
You're like, fuck you. It's my show.
Next week.
We will actually have the QR code for Fide.
Ken Walters is watching from my space.
Is that even,
is it up still?
Is that platform?
No,
no way.
I'm glad too.
I'm fucking glad dude.
Cause my page was horrible.
That's a Sunday show.
You should go to my space on Sunday and just poke around and see what's going on.
I don't think it exists anymore.
It's just gone?
It's not even a platform anymore. I think they sold it.
We do have a report.
Oh, is that MySpace?
Oh.
Nice.
Oh, wow.
And of course, Jimmy Kimmel's
on it, douche. Fergie show.
Jon Young just finished under five minutes. Beat Taylor's
time by a minute and 43 seconds.
That's crazy. My butt is wet.
Uh-oh, here we go. Yes, my
butt is wet.
Super wet. That's how you know he's aroused.
Maybe a mop, too.
Carlos, you can
do it with a 70-pound sandbag.
But you have to sing the entire
time.
Hey, so you're –
I guess, you know, while you're doing it.
How did the knee feel, Taylor?
Oh, it feels fine.
Oh, that's awesome.
Someone messaged me last night, I guess on the show.
JR said we got bad news yesterday, and someone said,
is your knee okay?
I'm like, yeah.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, on the CrossFit Games Update show.
That's my too, David.
My pussy.
Sorry.
643 is the time to beat.
The text requests are now coming in.
Let's go.
We will be attempting to give away $2,500 and working on our talking shit game.
I brought my game today.
Good.
Because you're not going to be able to use it.
This week's money is brought to you by HGR CBD.
Head over to the website.
Use code Taylor20.
I don't know why.
What happened to Matthew?
Matthew doesn't like sandbags, huh?
Yeah.
Two weeks ago, no Matthew.
He uses his sandbags to transport drugs undetected
so he can't actually use them for
that's exactly what he does
throws it over his shoulder it explodes
cocaine plus everywhere
did anyone send Jason a reminder text
fuck no Jason's in the truck
right now driving up here
I'm gonna text him
you're in the show
Justin Johnson is that You're in the show. Wow. Justin Johnson.
Is that really his name?
Welcome to the show, Justin.
JJ?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Justin Johnson.
Looks like a GQ NASCAR driver, I would say.
Like some guy.
He adverts for Mountain Dew Code Red.
He needs to do the Chad face.
Do the Chad face thing.
That's just your natural face.
Just like that.
Whose jaw is bigger, his or Jelly Host's?
Look at this guy's head.
His eyebrows are going to turn into butterflies
any second now.
He's got rotten eyebrows.
Oh, yeah.
He's got a hottie in the mix.
Who's doing this?
Hey, girl. She'll be at the cross mix. Who's doing this? Who's doing this? Hey, girl.
Who's this?
She's doing it.
She'll be at the CrossFit Games.
Are you doing it, JJ?
She'll be at the CrossFit Games for the neuroadaptive?
Okay, sorry.
Just wondering.
Justin, are you ready?
Man, I guess so.
Can you turn the camera sideways?
Yeah.
And what gym are you in
oh i'm in flagship fitness i'm the uh the head coach manager nice it's our owner quentin
is that what's up buddy is that is that an affiliate do what is that an affiliate
across we were we were uh until a couple months ago what happened we're in oxford mississippi
was it the 40 was it the $4,500
that made him change his mind?
Yeah, he's in Mississippi.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Y'all get mad at him.
No, we're not hating.
We ain't hating.
You know how he's from Mississippi?
You said something, he goes, do what now?
Do what now?
Do what? I'm gonna i'm gonna
give it a shot i may uh die trying but nobody called in you know i'm i'm gonna try this doing
the people a favor yeah you're doing us a favor for 2500 bucks remember that thanks just bucks
bro yes sir how much uh how much uh sweet tea did you drink this morning? Man, I used to drink a lot growing up. I don't drink any anymore.
All right.
How do I turn this camera
sideways? Unlock it.
You turn your phone sideways.
What state are you in again?
What state are you in again?
There you go.
Mississippi. Oh, that's $2,500.
You'll be able to buy everyone in your state a box of Pop-Tarts.
That's awesome. Do I need to flip my camera
around? No.
That's great. Asymmetric ears.
$2,500 is $220,000
in case Roman calls in.
Sounds like something you put in your butt.
A ruple? They do.
Or something that comes out.
Hey, Justin, what's going on
with your ears, buddy? Are those half-size ears
or is your head that big?
Oh my God.
I get fired up about it all the time.
I got to get it.
You're so good looking
that we need your ears and eyebrows to be fucked up.
Thank you.
Everyone's dying at y'all, man.
Are you kneeling down or was that guy really tall
that came out of the bathroom?
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck is that?
Who is that?
That's the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk, dude.
He's been doing CrossFit longer than any of y'all.
Are you standing?
How tall is that dude?
He barely can walk.
He's 6'3", probably.
It's like watching a tree move.
Oh, he was.
Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, you're good, buddy.
Are you going 50 down
and 50 back? Yes.
50 down, 50 back, four around.
Feet have to stay
still when I'm throwing.
Yeah.
Maso Manos. And hey, listen, you don't
even have to cross the line down there at the end
because we can't even see it. Feel free to cheat down there at the end because we can't even see it
feel free to cheat down there on that end
if that bag's full of rubber
I'm gonna fill you with rubber
oh shit
I gotta change all these
sopping wet britches bro
wow that was crazy
what state is Forrest Gump from?
He kind of sounds like Forrest Gump
I'm from Alabama
Greenbow, Alabama
See the delts on the chick?
She's jacked
Do I need to mute my phone? I'm about to play music
Yeah, if you're going to play music
We can mute you, you're fine
Muted
So now we don't have control over his phone We're definitely going to play me. We can mute you. You're fine. Just leave it. Muted. Fucker.
So now we don't have control over his phone.
We're definitely going to hang up on you after two rounds.
It was nice talking to you.
Yeah.
See you later, buddy.
I don't know that we can.
Hey, if you guys are still in the comments,
send some money to Andy's charity.
Holy shit, you cheap bucks.
You guys are all over here dropping money in the chat.
Come on.
Are you just watching that ticker?
No, I haven't looked at it once, but I just want to make sure people can think about it.
That guy spent $12,000 on a big-ass
fan.
He needs to spend $12,000 on
a Brazilian wax on his eyebrows.
That's not his gym, dude.
His eyebrows are more hairy than several
of his buttholes. Could you imagine how hairy
an Armenian butt is?
This guy's eyebrows are like a dash of pussy lips.
Three.
Wait, we need a countdown.
Three, two, one.
See Beaver on the clock.
Go.
Nice.
Beaver, wait a minute.
Oh, the walking back method.
By round three, he'll fall over the line.
That's exhausting.
You're going to lose, Taylor.
Tyler, you are an idiot.
You're going to lose.
You're going to lose, dude.
You can shit all over this dude because he's from Mississippi.
He's going to beat your ass.
I'm from more Mississippi than this guy is from Mississippi.
This has to be a joke, Jan.
What annoyed me the most about last week is I rewatched and Tyler goes,
I don't know how metabolic this workout is.
I don't think it's metabolic at all.
It's not.
And I'm laying on the ground drowning in a pool.
Like a bit.
Acidosis.
Shut up, Taylor.
Look at the girls over there just doing some snatches.
Where are we at?
He's on pace.
I've heard you do a lot of different accents, Taylor,
and Tyler's is the only one that's actually accurate. Yep. He's on pace. I've heard you do a lot of different accents, Taylor, and Tyler's is the only one that's actually accurate.
He's on pace.
Hey, Jan Clark, does Rachel Hives
think she can sign into this show?
She has a phone number up there.
She can try and win some money.
Oh, Rachel Hives could win $2,500.
Yes, for a trip to the games.
That's a great point.
Go drop some money on Rachel Hives.
No.
No, Jan'all.
Y'all, send her a, what's that guy's name?
A Naked Martin?
Send her a Naked Martin to go to the games, dude.
She can come do the workout.
Please don't do that.
That guy needs to not have,
the fact that he can make money drives me crazy.
Who is Naked Martin?
He's got a huge-
The guy who does a helicopter dick and sings a song.
1.30 is the time for the first round.
We are now four seconds behind pace, off pace.
That's all right.
He's pacing it.
Naked Martin is like the hunchback from Notre Dame with a horse cock.
He's like this.
He's like this.
He leans over, and he just slings his wiener around on the video, too.
What are Justin's accolades?
Has he been to the semifinals? No. no uh good good eyebrows his accolade yeah his accolade is is uh sixth grade
graduate
do what now
at least how did you know that we hate him because he's got a bigger dick than all of us?
That's correct.
I hate hard.
Yeah.
How did you know that?
Hey, just so you know, Justin has to finish these over-the-shoulder tosses by 225 to match Taylor's time.
Which he will not.
John, you're right.
I wouldn't open my message if he's the job he wanted me to do.
Jar Jar Binks, it's literally $2,500.
You could complain so much fucking more, dude.
What Taylor's referencing is,
most people probably don't have 100 feet to go straight in the gym,
and turning is definitely a disadvantage.
We also tested it outside on turf,
and the sandbag doesn't get any roll.
Oh, tested it.
Shut the fuck up.
Jar Jar is right, but also get a longer gym
also jar jar if you're gonna make comments at least do the accent hey if you do if you beat
beat taylor uh with turning around if you don't have 100 feet we'll throw in four cases of fit
aid how's that wow four costs does that apply to jj he didn't sign to those terms when he signed on to the show Marissa Hinojosa
Is it the same workout as last week?
It is four rounds instead of three
He dropped the bag on that side
He dropped it
Yeah, he's not winning
Not on pace
Taylor finished this round in
3-12
3-1-2
Wow
Dude, and this guy's going pretty fast he doesn't look slow i was the whole
workout i was thinking i hate that i'm doing this right now not only am i doing one of these
exercises ever again lunging on the sandbag we're throwing it like that but i'm also never repeating
a workout on the show because that's that was so mind-numbing. You know what it reminded me of? Semifinals training.
God, I hate that.
He's not that far behind.
I mean, 47 seconds.
He's going to take at least eight and a half minutes.
That's way behind.
He has to finish this round in five minutes to be on pace with Taylor.
What do you got to say about that, Peter?
He's been sandbagging it no he's been really
oh geez i thought you were about to vape tyler i was like what is he doing i was hoping dallin
would call in because he commented ha ha ha on the post it's all he called at least somebody
gets it come on hey there's only been one guy who vaped on the show right that david pitt person
we had a comedian that used to vape on the show all the time, Justin Nunley.
Oh.
And I think Hunter McIntyre is vaping on the show.
Hands on knees.
Come on, Justin.
What do you think she said to him down there?
You suck.
You ain't getting a handy.
Probably.
Your eyebrows look great.
Oh.
The Giant Man is now watching giant man
I want to see him put his hand up and touch the ceiling
he can't stand under the fan
his internet gave out
oh shit oh I thought he was picking his butt
his underwear
it's okay we didn't miss anything.
He is now going to be 25 seconds behind pace.
Ooh.
The Kill Taylor shirt needs to say he's on pace somewhere on it.
Swoop Consulting sponsor from last week.
Oh, thank you. At least he's finishing.
He was right there, and he could have rounded it out, and he didn't.
Does he know it's four
rounds or does he think he's done is that what your wife says tyler does he know how far off
pace he is at least he's finishing uh jason miller rogue sells 100 pound alice stones
this would be an easy win if you had a good if you had good planning
what's crazy what's crazy is this is now the third time with 180-pound sandbag
and the second time doing the exact same movement.
So if you didn't plan on having a 180-pound sandbag
and you planned on somehow winning money from the show,
you are retarded.
Matt.
643.
Jon Young. Let's go jy is the time to be 643 i think taylor with four rounds beat bryson with three rounds i did yeah i think he did that's amazing uh taylor are you significantly fitter
now than you even were at uhifinals? Way fitter.
That's crazy.
It's not even close because I actually am eating like an athlete,
and I'm running a whole lot more.
I didn't run really at all before semifinals because I was still getting back.
Hey, something doesn't make sense.
He cut out a round or something of throwing.
Yeah, he's not as far off as I thought he was going to be.
Yeah, something's not right.
He didn't throw. He, something's not right.
He didn't throw.
He didn't throw it back.
He didn't throw it back, yeah.
I actually texted him and told him to just do a lunge on the last 200.
He's done.
Jesus Christ.
He's back on pace.
What's he doing?
Did he forget?
What is he doing?
What is going on here?
Justin Johnson definitely didn't even get a six-grain education butthole feel now taylor hey andy send that hundred back this guy's a fucking douche
help and make sure you finish in his butt buddy make sure you finish good job Alvin
damn
why is he doing with the workout I don't understand what's happening
it doesn't matter he's on his own adventure now
you're doing great Justin
just let him go
I had a gym owner in Alabama
that he would like program a workout
we always had this one member who would just
fucking do whatever he was doing bear crawls one day
and bear crawls were not in the workout and i was like i was like what's he
doing he goes i don't fucking care he can do whatever he wants i'm pretty sure justin did the
did something backwards yeah he did one length of each the last two times
hey we're being honest with the way some people program you can really do whatever you want every day right i'm pretty sure he's in round six now uh nick uh nick andre i'm beyond i'ma be honest i could beat you
but i'm not fin and call fin a call i'm not fin a call what is that what state is that from what
state is that that's how black people say gonna that's Chicago. You need to send him a case of Fide. Yeah, I feel like I know that guy.
I feel like I know that guy.
Yeah, you get a case.
If you just think you can beat Taylor, you get a free case of Fide.
Oh, my goodness.
What is Justin doing?
I mean, this is a projected time, right?
About eight and a half.
Hey, can Bryson beat this dude?
No.
No.
Good job. Wait. Oh, I feel bad. We should tell him. No? No. Good job.
Oh, I feel bad. We should tell him.
No, don't tell him.
He muted us.
We couldn't tell him if we wanted to.
What is going on? Does he have any friends?
No.
I think when he gets back to the camera, we should say,
now take off on the 800.
Look at the spray bottles
on the left-hand side.
They're all black.
So whatever fluids they have,
they empty them out and put them all in
black bottles for a certain aesthetic
in the gym.
I like that.
Yeah, it's nice.
I'm guessing the tall guy would tell him,
but when he's looking at him,
it's just like a dot.
It's like looking at an ant just crawling.
He can't see what he's doing. He's just like, I don't know what he's doing down there he wants to go over and step on him this guy tim sutton commented on the workout was like lame and
i responded hey for you i guess it's watch this again or the gay porn pulled up in your private
browser yeah didn't you got him your gym was a mess too taylor's gym what is it what does a nice
gym look like for you dude andy's gym's not
a mess at all no i yeah i didn't get that i don't know if it was jake but i know i read it earlier
saying that someone said it was a mess and i'm like i don't know you've seen gyms out there
it's ain't bad uh maybe jake chapman must work out at a planet fitness for sure those are spotless
you're right unused they're not used it's easy to keep it clean. Good job.
Justin Johnson, 10-11.
Justin, do you have Venmo down there in Greenbow, Alabama?
No, dude.
They don't have a Wi-Fi either.
What?
What did you do in the fucking workout?
What happened in the middle of the workout?
Yeah, did you do the workout?
You did it wrong, dude.
I bitched out. I think something worse than bitched out i think you did something wrong you mixed up you mixed up a round in round
five or round four what do you mean you like threw the sandbag one length and then lunged back one
length and then did another yes you did no dude you went three rounds at the end of the third round.
You did an additional hundred feet and then you did your fourth round.
Jake, tell him to go fuck himself.
You did extra work, bro.
But hey, do you have.
His name's Justin, not Jake, but good try.
Justin, sorry.
Hey, Justin, text me your address.
We'll send you a free case of FitAid.
You're black, right?
Yes.
All right. All right, buddy. Thank you. You you you're beast tell the girl we enjoyed watching her snatch thanks what do you
need from me text me your address and we'll send you a free case of fide to the phone you sent
we sent you the link on all right buddy thank you thanks next week's bye you could how'd you
know that dude was black i couldn't tell because we only give free cases of fide to uh,
minorities and jake
Oh my goodness
really
Hannah where's the guy that's gonna try the workout?
It's me that's gonna try it. Oh, please. Come on. What are you doing? What are you doing? Hannah? What are you doing?
What are you doing? Where's the guy? Come on. Stop joking. Where is he?
It's right here. Oh Wow All right, where are you doing? Where's the guy come on stop joking? Where is he?
All right, where are you
And Southwest is that an affiliate
No, that's fine, that's fine you affiliate were you ever an affiliate? Yeah, no, I work at an affiliate, but I'm actually a pro strongman, so I don't compete in CrossFit. I'm a strongman stiff. Okay. And is that your gym? Yes, it is. Jared and I own it.
That's Jared. All right. You're awesome. And you guys, do you guys have the same tattoo artist?
Because he's making a fortune off you guys. He's making a fortune. Right.
If you win the $2,500, are you going to get a tattoo, another tattoo?
Probably, or help fund some of the – I'm doing the Shaw Classic,
a strongman show in August to help fund some of that trip.
Okay, good luck.
Do you have any tattoos below your belly button?
Yes.
Wow, okay.
We'll look at those afterwards.
Thank you.
Do you have a chance of beating the time to beat?
Wow, look at this.
Do I have a chance of beating it? I mean, there's always a chance.
Will I do well and enjoy it? No.
All right, girl, go get it.
Brandon Gomez is saying that you're kind of bad, so he got some stuff to do.
Brandon Gomez is jelking in the chat.
You don't want to know what that is. Just get ready for the workout.
All right, Hannah, go get it, girl. Go get it.
Okay. We need the time. There's no such thing as good time.
We're going to get a timer and start writing. You don't need a timer.
We can time it. We can time it. Okay.
Or you can time it.
Can y'all see everything okay? We should do it together.
Yep.
Yep.
If she put a tube top on,
Stevon wouldn't be able to resist. Absolutely.
It would be dangerous on this workout.
A tube top?
Yeah.
Are y'all ready?
Yep.
We're ready, girl.
Kayla Beaver on the clock.
Comes up from the beep.
Where's the marker for the 25 or 50 or 100 feet?
She's about to throw the ball into it now, Heather.
You look strong as fuck, but she only has one metabolic pathway,
so I have no idea how strong you are.
This doesn't take any metabolic pathways, Taylor.
You are retarded, Tyler.
Put your forehead away.
Yeah, she's eating the fuck out of that.
I'm going to do another HDR CBD tablet.
Is this all they do in Strongman?
I didn't even think about this.
Mute her camera
because it's cutting everyone off.
Do we think she's going 100
all the way or 50?
What?
She's going 100 all the way or 50.
I think she's going
50.
Her turnaround is money.
She's moving well.
I don't think she's going to stay on pace.
These strong men have
like you're so wrong they have about 10 seconds of output they've got 10 seconds of output and
they fall like a boulder she just needs 10 seconds for six minutes she's already off pace you idiots
hey let me ask you is she using a hundred pound bag no no she's using it that's an 80 for sure
you can tell by the way it doesn't roll?
Yeah. Look at how flappy and soppy that thing is.
By the way, Taylor, when you throw the bag,
the top of your head almost hits the ground behind you. It's crazy.
I have crazy spine.
Oh no. If I was with the camera, that would have been sick.
That's why I'm nuts at GHD.
Take off, Hannah.
I thought she was about to bear hug.
Just carry it the whole way. I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't give a shit what she does.
She could squeeze that sandbag in between her butt
cheeks and lunge with it for all I care. That dump truck
looks like it's up for the job, though.
Jesus Christ.
The thing about it, though, is when you
lunge with the sandbag and the bear hug, you
deload the weight of it at the bottom because it
rests on top of your leg. I'm going to start
a company in my spare time called Dump Truck Hotties,
and Hannah might be the poster child.
What does the company do?
I like her butt.
Yeah, who doesn't?
Does she beat Black Jake?
Oh, that's a good question.
Jake's time was, what, 10-11?
I thought his name was Justin.
Yeah, no idea.
I thought you meant is her ass better than Jake's. We're just calling him Black Jake, though. Black Jake is his name was Justin. I had no idea. Oh, it was Justin. I thought you meant, is her ass better than Jake's?
We're just calling him Black Jake, though.
Black Jake.
That's his name.
BJ.
BJ in the hood.
He's called BJ.
We just have to call him that until he gets his fit in, and then we can call him that. Oh, she's already all fucked up?
Come on, dude.
No.
Look, Taylor.
Taylor, get off your phone and look.
She imploded already.
She reached her energy.
We're calling back Drake Lewis
because he's thinking about calling in. You know that hot guy
who called in the Mormon?
I got a feeling that's not John Young's real profile.
Either that or that's a crazy comment.
He's off to Cracker Barrel.
Dude, Cracker Barrel's a shit
though.
John Young, one thing to say.
He drinks Ovaltine.
I'm going to tell you something.
We have more requests now than we've ever had before, by the way.
They are fucking pouring in.
People know $2,500.
I know you don't have this, but I want you to have a light-up board that Larry King or something had back in the day.
I don't know what that means.
It's like when people call in, it lights up means it's like when people call in it lights up
yeah hey people calling why are we letting the sheep people on 307 to do one round she's on pace
for what uh metabolic come on come on
jesus christ you're representing a whole community here.
She can straight yeet that bag, though.
No, she can't.
Look, watch.
Yeet.
Hey, did you do the double?
Taylor, did you do the double lift like that where you got it in place,
or did you just yank it off the ground and throw it over?
He kind of hitched at the hip.
He did?
He might be useful for her to do some cardio.
I mean, this is it then.
Hey, Pedro, you should give her your programming.
It's taters.
Oh.
So 100 burpees a day.
You can sell that.
Variation.
Unknown and unknowable.
More conditioning and more reps than she's done in the past month
in the past four minutes
alright guys we're going to deload it's 100 burpees today
Hannah
Colderon strong woman
hey do you find it interesting
that it seems like
it's like half the people who call in
aren't calling in even from affiliates.
Yeah.
More.
More than half.
More than half.
Yeah, it's interesting, right?
So crazy.
Some would say we don't believe in coincidences.
Yeah, I wonder what the implications of that are.
None.
We need to keep a tally.
Oh, that would be a good idea.
Oh, shit.
Popping the top.
Yeah, girl. Now the show is getting real. We haven that would be a good idea. Oh, shit! Popping the top. Yeah, girl.
Now the show's getting real.
We haven't had an affiliate call in.
She's about to get booted.
Now we gotta bring her on this end to check out the bits and bobs.
I'm giving everybody
a tip for next week. Some clues.
Oh.
You guys will need
access to a swimming pool.
What are you eating?
An English muffin, eggs, and peppers. Next week, you will need access to a swimming pool. What are you eating? An English muffin, eggs, and peppers.
Next week, you will need access to a swimming pool.
You got a whole fucking week to get it, too.
So if you can't procure a fucking pool of swimming...
What kind of piece of shit are you?
What do you mean when you say procure?
Come to heaven.
Yeah, yeah.
Buy one, build one, steal one fucking nicholas cage over here
and that you just you just need a swimming pool wait where's canada going for muscle ups
look at her she looked at the camera come on bring that body down let's let's ogle you
bring that thing down here.
My goodness.
We're going to film the entire workout of me and Jason testing event one,
and it's going to be Jason Hopper.
Is this the second round of throws?
How are you going to – oh, God, I think it better not be. Hey, Taylor.
It is.
Now might be a good time to announce that someone's going to need a 400-foot
uphill climb at a 14-degree grade for the next two weeks.
And if you can't, you're out.
You're a piece of shit.
Jacob's ladder.
Jacob's ladder.
Uh-oh.
Hopper says send him a link.
He's so far behind in the line now.
He's so far behind.
Oh, I did.
I sent him a reminder.
I'm calling to show you.
Actually, let me pull this up. Jason,
if you're not actually almost to Charlotte,
I'm not fucking doing this workout
with you. I got dinner tonight, asshole.
Yeah, Jason.
Do you not have dinner every night?
Is he even here? He might be here.
I can't afford it.
Jason doesn't understand the order of operations.
He's not special. I'm sending him the phone number. He's kind of special. I can't afford it. Jason doesn't understand the order of operations. He's not special.
I'm sending him the phone number.
He's kind of special.
Let's go, Hannah.
Not the link, the phone number.
No, I want him to do it.
Hiller said he's going to send him the phone number, not the link.
I'm Jason Hoffman.
I'm like, no, here's a phone number.
You're doing great.
Cap.
Hey, she got prettier.
Oh, did she tap?
She timed.
I'm timing her.
No, this is the resting position.
Anna, what's up, girl?
This is terrible.
You're getting prettier with each round.
I want to tell you, you're looking good.
You look hot.
I like a sweaty girl.
I'll take off a knee sleeve later.
Hey, Hannah,
send me a link to your
address to the phone when you're done.
We'll send you a free case of FitAid. Thank you for trying.
Of course.
Thanks for trying. Later, girl.
Are you going to finish?
Nope.
Look at this plant.
We are now over the hour
mark. The prize money has
tripled
To $7,500
Is this gymnastics floor or springboard floor?
Are you in Ireland?
Or Scotland?
Oh, is that me?
Oh, sorry
Hey
I thought that was a gay gymnast for a second
It could be
No, he's European
He's European
Yeah, from Scotland.
Hey, do you have
Matt Fraser on the wall?
Well, Matt,
Rich, and Tia.
Alright, I hope you can draw some inspiration
from that today. None of them could
do this workout, so you have a big mountain to
climb. It looks like Ricky Garrard.
Hey, Peter, will you translate for us?
He just said... Sorry, I didn't get't get that hi peter how's it going how's it going no sorry no clue guys i'm out okay we can't understand him
oh right what's this what's the sandbag weight 100. so i've only got i've got a 55 kilo sandbag
which is probably a bit more than that but but that's the best I've got.
Oh, you're such a baller.
What is 40 kilos making pounds?
I'll give 40 or 55.
It makes Taylor happy.
Yeah, do 40, dude.
You have no chance. Do 40.
It's 88.
It's 88.
He does have a huge ass.
He does have a huge ass, ladies and gentlemen.
You think the prince gets jealous of his hair?
Hairy?
Yeah, they're going bald.
This dude's got great hair.
He's got all the hair for the entire fucking continent.
Is he lunging back and forth?
Like section of 10?
What the fuck?
Holy shit.
Should I just hang up on him?
Hold on, guys.
What is going on why are you going to do 10 lengths
oh my goodness
yeah Shade Dance he does have a huge
dumper
right so that's
can you see that one
is that 50 feet
no 25 foot how does No, 25 feet.
How does he measure 25 feet there?
Because I've got
my maths on one meter squared,
so seven and a half meters,
so that's just over 25 feet.
All right, if you say so.
I believe you.
What am I using?
Am I using 40 or am I using 55?
40. 40's all right he sticks his ass out like he's gay you know i mean now some gay guys yeah he can't help it dude he's not
even trying that's how jason walks he's got that massive posterior posterior pelvic tool
and check this out guys he's gonna yoink it all the way across in one throw. Yeah, are you actually letting him use the 40? I can't believe that's
25 feet.
He can't.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, dumper jumper. Jumper dumper.
Super dumper. Come here a second.
Go ahead, Taylor. Talk to him. I don't know.
I don't know. I'm second guessing. I'm thinking
you using the 40 kilogram
bag. I don't know if that's
a bucket. I don't know. What do you guys? Yeah, fuck it. Let him use it. I don't know if that's uh fuck it i don't know what do you guys
yeah fuck it let him use it i don't want to make it unfair i don't want to make it unfair
your ass makes it unfair already yeah you've got 20 you've only got 25 feet dude i say dude i say
guys we take a risk and if you're into the 40 kilogram we give them the fucking money yeah
no one's even gotten close go for it with. With 25 feet, how many lengths am I doing?
12.
Four.
One, two, three, four.
That's one piece, and then the next one's four.
Hey, Kyle, where did you finish in the quarterfinals?
We did a finish in quarterfinals?
Yeah.
Like 400-something in Europe, something like that.
500-something in Europe.
Fuck, guys.
All right, 40 kilo bag, 40-kilo bag.
Let's do it.
With the woman's weight.
No chance, dude.
This is a bad idea.
This is a bad idea.
Is it?
No.
It's 12 pounds lighter for every round, every rep.
Hey, I don't think Bryson would have beaten me.
Oh, look at his abs.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, dude, he took his shirt off, and he leveled up by like four.
What's this guy's name?
Kyle?
You went from like a three to a seven.
Hey, this is the guy that wanted me and Colton to come out to Scotland.
Dude, we would have, but it's Scotland.
But his gum's just too big.
Let's go, Kyle.
It was me, Taylor, that speaks the only Italian, but come to Scotland.
Yes, it is.
Dude, I want a gum, but I got too much travel.
Let me ask you a question real quick here, Kyle, just to rule some things out.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Yes, I do.
Okay, just checking.
All right, all right.
Lucky lady, dude.
You've got a nice body.
Then you don't match.
Then you're not a minority, and you will not be getting a free case of Fide, but go ahead.
Yeah, okay.
Right, so four lens, throw, and lunges times four.
Four rounds.
Yeah, your clock has already started.
Caleb, let's start it when you lift it up.
Time out, time out.
Guys, we've got to come to a consensus.
Are we really okay with giving this guy the money?
Dude, he ain't getting it, dude.
All right, all right!
He ain't getting it.
No, Kyle.
Quit being such a bitch
Ready
3, 2, 1
Go
Oh shit
Taylor shut up
He's screwed dude
This turnaround is going to be a mess for him
He's going to get
Oh I don't know
4
5 He's got to do it more fucking horizontally stop throwing oh that was a nice throw that was
a nice throw that was a nice throw that was a nice throw pretty equal eight
nice throw last length time here we go he's on on pace. No, he's not.
Shut up.
He actually is.
This time he is.
His throws are diminishing.
His speed is.
Hey, listen to this, people.
If you're complaining about the workout,
we're letting this fucking Scotsman do it with the women's weight to win money.
Jesus.
And you guys are in the chat crying like bitches?
Holy fuck.
Hey, here's the thing. Scotsmen, they can throw shit.
They have sports for that.
That's a good point.
Look, he's meeting the feet halfway.
They're also notorious wife beaters.
Are they really?
Are they really?
Isn't that like a completely separate...
130! 130 is the time he needs. Are they really? You know they're completely separate.
1.30.
1.30 is the time he needs.
1.30. Oh, shit. Our clock stopped. Caleb, what the
fuck?
What the fuck?
Come on, Kyle.
Hell yeah. We can work it out after the time
stop of the video. 1.30
is the time to be...
Oh, did it pick back up?
Yeah, his car.
He didn't eat long.
1.36.
Keep going.
Get out of the door.
Go.
Go.
Jesus Christ, dude.
Please, fuck.
We gave you a break.
And he's using the tranny bag, for Christ's sake.
Jesus.
Why did that just piss me off so much?
It's like, learn how to count to four.
Women's weight.
Women's weight.
Oh, bad luck with it.
He didn't even cross the line with both feet on his last
lunch what the fuck time to beat is 225 to finish the uh over overhead throws with the girl's bag
hey all european countries can use the women's weight yellow hosted his sign in brandon gomez Yellow Hosted has signed in. Brandon Gomez, you weenie fucks. Who cares? We're having fun.
Agreed.
Are we?
This is fun watching this gay gymnast try to do this workout.
Victor Hoffa's brother from Scotland, Kyle Russell,
now attempting to get the $2,500 on Gil Taylor.
That's why he looks gay.
HGR.
Oh, he gave up on that throw.
Let's go, Kyle.
2.25 is the time to beat.
He's already 11 seconds over.
He's going to have to really turn it on these last two rounds.
Kyle, take a look at the poster to your left, buddy.
Get some inspiration from the champs.
Yeah.
Tia's watching.
Hey, that dude on the left, is that supposed to be Froning?
Yeah.
It looks like Ricky Garrard.
Nice throw.
Nice throw. It looks like Brendan that works in a cunts.
Is that where you held the bag too on your shoulder, Taylor?
I held it with both hands and I didn't step up and meet my feet in the middle.
That's slow as fuck.
Damn.
He's queefed.
Is this his third round?
No, second.
He's doing great.
Relative to what?
312 was when he needed to be putting that bag down.
I don't know.
I think I'm on the Scottish side of the accent thing.
I think their accent's better.
Jar Jar Binks.
Then what?
Mesa.
Then Ireland.
Hey, shut up.
Jar Jar Binks. Mesa, really good swimmer Then Ireland. Hey, shut up. Jar Jar Binks.
Mesa, really good swimmer, Taylor.
Well, if we're going to start discussing accents.
This is what 500th in Europe gets you in the quarterfinals.
You need a 25-yard pool, Jar Jar.
That's after having spent the last month watching that show you sent me.
They don't have those on Naboo, dude.
Ed L.
Taylor talks so much about the gays.
He would love to be pegged, but is in the closet.
I am not in the closet.
What's the time?
Peg me, bro.
409.
Taylor is out of the closet.
Also, you don't call it being
pegged when a guy does it
to a guy, I think.
Do we need a barbell at the pool?
No, it's literally just a pool.
All you need is yourself and the pool.
And a rig for muscle-ups.
He needs to finish this round at the five-minute mark.
He's doing great?
No, he's not.
Better than me?
How do you know? Did you do it? Right. If that's our line doing great. No, he's not. Better than me. How do you know?
Did you do it?
Right.
If that's our line for great.
I know this would be terrible.
I would hate this workout so much.
Dude, I thought it's not metabolic.
Too metabolic for me.
Jason Hopper, I...
Dude, I swear to God.
Jason Hopper, I was actually warming up for it until taylor
reminded me of his dinner had to leave on the way there sir don't be far away from you does he live
he lives an hour and a half away so if you're not here by 12 fucking 30 when i get off this show i'm
not doing it with you bro so he hadn't even left when i swear to god if that's true i'm gonna
fucking freak out come on kyle come on k You're already fucked. You might as well finish it.
Yeah.
I like listening to him grunt.
Ari, how's he doing, buddy?
Oh, he's slowing down a lot.
Ari! What's up, bro?
Ari, how's he doing?
Kick Tyler off. Fuck you, Tyler.
What's up, bro?
Hi. Yeah, Tyler, go away.
Oh!
Ari, what the hell's that, man?
We ain't never met, and you're going to be mean to me like that?
He didn't know what was happening.
He thought you were Caleb, dude.
He is one minute behind pace.
One minute.
Really?
Put your fat ass into it.
605.
Good job.
I think that was three rounds.
No, you had a lunge.
One more round, buddy.
I'm not going to fucking catch him. What did you say, buddy. I'm not going to fucking catch a minute off.
What did you say?
I'm not going to catch a fucking minute off.
We could have probably told you that after the second round.
Hey, when you invited Colton and Taylor to come visit you,
did you want them to make you airtight?
What?
I don't think me and Colton
Can make him airtight dude
Colton's not big enough
Sorry Colton
Your butt is now tripled in size
That thing is gonna be broken
Do you have a sister?
Yeah she must have She must have a sister? Yeah.
She must have a great ass.
My God.
Why my God?
Raise your sister's ass for us, please.
Am I straight?
Do you want to see?
I'm so straight.
Whoever has that accent has a good accent.
Oh, you like his accent?
Is it better than Peter's
can you understand me at least
Ari can you understand him
what okay perfect
he can't understand anybody it's okay
Kyle Russell please send us your address
we'll send you a free case of FIDA I don't know if they send it
to Scotland
are you attached to the UK
is that how that works
technically yes we are a separate country.
But you're on that same island?
Yeah, we are.
Thanks for calling. You're a good dude.
Thanks for the chance.
Hope you see us on the lock sometime soon.
It's only next week.
Next weekend in Scotland.
I've got some Americans coming over to watch
to compete.
You know Dan Tai?
Dan Tai's competing next weekend.
He's competing. I know you know him, I think, Taylor.
I know you know him
quite well. Wait a minute.
I think this guy just came on to advertise
the competition next week. Good for you.
Good for you, Kyle.
Kyle, thanks for coming on.
Jeez Louise, how did
you understand anything? That got rough for a second. Jeez Louise, how did you understand anything?
That got rough for a second.
I was like, whoa.
Sounds like he's from Baltimore.
He said Waddle the Lock and Dan Tai will be there.
The most handsome man in CrossFit.
Somebody said, what the fuck is he saying?
$2,500.
Tons of people are in the waiting list, but we're done with the show.
Wow.
Are there really tons of people?
Be honest.
Yeah.
There's five other people, but we're done.
That was it.
Yeah, we're done for sure.
Listen, $3,000 next week, and you need a swimming pool.
You don't need any other equipment with it.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, it's going to be swimming.
You have to steal one though, Ari.
You have to procure a pool.
Procure.
Do you need other equipment, did you say, Taylor?
No, just a pool and your body.
Wow.
Everybody's begging for one more, dude.
Can we do one more?
No.
Dude, we're over.
An hour and 16 minutes.
Come on, dude.
We're at peak concurrent live viewers. Let's bring one more person on, we're over. An hour and 16 minutes. Come on, dude. We're at peak concurrent live viewers.
Let's bring one more person on, dude.
Okay.
Let's do you.
All right.
Let's do it.
There's four of you, five of you, six of you have gotten the link.
Go ahead and try.
This is where it is, the money.
Go ahead and try.
If they start to beat us, we'll just boot them off the chat and say the show.
Sorry, show's over.
We can do whatever we want here, guys.
Please tell me it goes to Drake.
Who's Drake?
The rapper, Ari.
Singer?
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
I thought you said Drake was texting you trying to do it.
You used to call me on my cell phone.
Isn't that a Drake song?
Yes.
Yeah, that's the one.
Same guy.
You sing it so good. Try it again. Ariri are you watching yourself on the screen what are you watching yourself on the screen
yeah barely but it's showing the stuff i'm doing it's showing the stuff i'm not doing
wait is it predicting what you're gonna do lagging itging. He's watching on a big screen. He's got a little bit of a delay.
I don't know what's going on.
That sounds about right.
Alright, guys.
I sent out five links.
Where are you?
Are you going to come in or not?
We'll give you 30 seconds.
Remember, everybody can get fit
and CrossFit is for everybody.
I had shoulder surgery, shoulder replacement surgery.
There was a point in time where I wasn't sure I wanted to come back
and go through the rehab and have to kind of start
over. My name is Paul Ellis from Salt Lake City, Utah, and I'm 57 years old. My first week back
after six months of rehab, the coaches here took time to talk to me about where I was and how we could rehab and how we could get back to where I wanted to be.
That competitive spirit never dies inside you, but sometimes the body can't keep up.
And that's a struggle.
And the coaches, I recognize that and have helped out a lot.
To me, Salty Hive cares about the individual.
Whether you're younger or older or you're elite or you're brand new,
I've watched and noticed how everybody's important.
And that keeps me coming back.
You can win $5,000 for first place
if you enter the video contest.
You can win $3,000 for second place,
$2,000 for third place.
Thank you to 2Brain for sponsoring
the affiliate video contest.
You don't have to be an affiliate, by the way,
to enter. anyone can enter
get a gym make the videos good uh i sent out a shitload of links i guess people are just scared
for everyone wants to wait till it's three thousand dollars me and bryson are gonna enter
oh you guys are gonna enter it oh my i'll definitely give be biased towards my friends
sick 100 we're gonna have the best member interviews,
and we're going to have the best video, I would say.
The bias still won't help me, but cool.
Keep them short.
Okay, guys, the last contestant.
Oh, we got one.
Oh, this is a good one.
What's a good one?
This is a repeat offender, and this is one of my favorites.
Holy shit.
That's you.
Holy shit. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. Stu. Oh of my favorites. Holy shit. That's you. Holy shit.
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
Stooges!
Oh, my God.
Straight off the bomb.
He is the crayon.
Oh, man.
Holy shit.
Do you have your crayons?
What did you pre-workout fuel with?
Oh, man.
I can't even tell you guys.
What are we doing today? America. Oh, man. I can't even tell you guys. What are we
doing today? America.
Hey,
Taylor, hey.
I wore this just for you, man. Where are we at?
Oh, no.
What did you wear?
What is that? Let's go!
Let's go!
Oh, no.
It looks like Post Malone mixed with Tyler before he shaved his head.
Hey, watch that.
Watch it.
It's like if Post Malone was fuckable.
Jesus Christ.
They do have the same foot.
Okay, never mind.
I like that.
Most Post Malone.
Hey, you inspired me, Tyler.
You inspired me, Tyler.
This is amazing.
Stu Baca.
Let's go, baby.
Hey.
Stu, do you got it all laid out?
Yeah, I'm actually ready this time. You look
sweaty as all get out already.
Is it because it's 110 degrees in the gym or did you already
work out? Yeah, it's like 94
in here. Alright. It's really
hot. I hope you're hydrated. I don't want it to
happen to you what happened to Andy Hendel.
Oh gosh, what happened to him?
He had a heart attack at the 25 mile mark
of a 400 mile bike ride.
He was on a bike though. You're fine.
I don't have a bike.
The doctor has spoken.
All right.
Let's do this.
What year is it?
Your clock has already started.
Oh, no. That's not good.
Here. I need to set you guys up.
You're on pace.
What kind of chance is you giving yourself here, Stu?
Ah, man. I don't like that.
That's a bad start.
Dude, $2,500.
$2,500.
That's going to go a long ways.
What state are you in?
You have to win it.
Missouri.
All right.
Fruit loops for everyone in the state if you win this.
Yeah, showing us the cone is just pointless
Well, that's why
you know where I'm going, you know
Alright
I don't even know where to put you guys
I'm gonna be, oh man, this is not good
You got a friend?
Put us in the handle of the chalkboard
I'm here by myself today
Give the phone to your girlfriend slash sister
As you're done with that, man Okay here by myself today. Give the phone to your girlfriend slash sister.
I'm done with that, man.
Okay.
Dude, Stu is high as shit.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Stu just ripped a blizzy, dude,
and he's about to try and beat me in this workout?
No shot.
That looks like it's 50 pounds.
Good.
Good.
Stu, I want you to spend $1,500 of your prize money on rehab.
Oh, just because it's dead? How's the comb doing?
Oh, my God.
That's hilarious.
Wait, can you not read that?
We can.
You're good, buddy.
Can you read it?
You don't even need to show us that.
You're a regular.
We believe everything you say.
You go.
Hey, just put the phone in your pocket during the workout. It's fine.
Really?
He's joking, Stu.
He's joking.
Pedro, careful, buddy.
Careful.
This guy retarded.
I hope he goes outside.
I got to go outside, but it's raining out there.
I'll put some chalk in my i'll put some chalk in my pocket
uh 2,500 bucks hgr cbd taking my third gummy 2,500 dollars yeah
fuck me yeah let's go all right i'm i don't have a clock so just like when i come back
hey we're at this time all right we going to give you a 10-second countdown.
You ready?
If we leave your screen, it means you fucked up and we're gone.
Let's go, Stu.
All right, Stuart.
We're giving you a 10-second countdown.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, four, three, two, one.
Wow.
He looked like he was going to get a number.
Holy.
You got a toss.
Not 100 pounds, brother.
Stu, ignore us.
Ignore us, Stu.
Go.
He said, can you guys read that? That's 100 pounds.
That's a 70-pound bag.
He's got a very true finish.
He has a really bizarre way of throwing it.
He's throwing it all the way up to the ceiling.
That's a 50-pound bag.
Jealous?
Jealous?
Jealous?
Can you say it again?
Stu.
Taylor.
Jealous? Are you say it again? Stu. He's at the door. He's at the door. Taylor.
Are you jealous, Taylor?
What the fuck is this guy doing?
Oh, my God.
He's gone.
Bye, Stu.
Bye, Stu.
Go to the life.
He's going to win this week, Savani.
Where is he gone?
He's coming back.
He's going to hit that fight.
He's at McDonald's right now, dude.
He's at Walmart buying more crayons.
1.30.
1.30 is the time that Stubaca needs to come in to stay on pace for $2,500.
This is a great shot, though. Him coming out of the light
like that.
No, it's horrible.
It's hideous.
This guy is doing
this workout with a fucking
32-pound sandbag.
See what I mean? I can barely even see his face.
1.30 is the time
to beat. There he is.
This guy can't even count as good as Ari. There you go. Good job. 1.30 is the time to beat. There he is. This guy can't even count as good as Ari.
There you go. Good job.
1.37. You're on pace.
You're on pace.
He's not on pace.
He kind of is.
What is he doing?
He doesn't know it.
He always blazed out of his mind.
Can I use a 25-pound wall ball? If you're a 25 pound wall ball if you're serious about the money if you're serious about the money
you should be going to crossfit charlotte and being there when taylor does it and be like hey
i want to do it if you're really serious that's what you would do and the money's getting there
man the money's getting there no one's gonna win next week that's gonna be three grand then it's
gonna go to 3500 he's to be back at CrossFit Charlotte.
You need to show up there and get that money.
Yeah, no one's beating me next week.
It could be 100 pounds.
I didn't say it.
225.
He should be finishing that end.
Are we going to let this guy go the whole way, or what's the plan?
No.
We're going to let him come back one more time, make fun of him
a little bit more, and then let him go.
My kids are banging on the door.
I think that's a symbol for
this is too long.
Are they really banging on the door?
They were a bit of a go, yeah.
You got a lock on your
gym? No, it's a sliding
door and they can't open it because it's too weak.
What is he doing? Holy
shit, he's coming. Oh my goodness.
Guys, I lost my sandbag.
He's going to come back and be like, yo, it's actually not
a 100 pound wall ball, I just realized.
He can barely walk, this guy. He's huge.
I'm sorry, guys.
For what?
What happened?
Can you not see it?
The ball bust.
So it went from 70 pounds to 50?
No, but
they'd be really mad.
Oh, no.
Oh, my goodness.
He's afraid of the gym owner. Oh, no. Oh, my goodness. He's afraid of the gym owner.
Oh, shit.
There's nothing a few
crayons can't fix, bro.
Just go buy a pack of crayons.
That's true. I guess I actually got
some in my truck.
Stu, make sure you send us your address, buddy.
We'll send you out a case of free FitAid.
Thanks for trying, dude.
I'll see you guys in California.
You the man.
Yep. All right. Bye in California. You the man. Yep.
All right.
Bye.
California.
Why California?
Did he mean Northern California?
Oh.
All right.
I'm out of here.
I got to go run, swim.
Guys, watch this YouTube.
Check out.
Be on the lookout for this YouTube video.
Taylor Selfers, Jason Hopper, event one of the CrossFit Games.
All right.
Thank you, Taylor.
Peace.
Dude, I really like Stu.
Oh, he's the best
he's great
I don't know if a name has ever suited anyone better
no
Stu
I want a weekly like one small reel
of just what's going on in Stu's life
they just put it on the show
Instagram
Monday through Thursday
he can't find the keys to his house
and he's locked inside
after this show Monday through Thursday, he can't find the keys to his house and he's locked inside.
After this show, Coffee, Pods, and Wads will be going live for a recap
of the Kill Taylor show. Make sure you tune in.
Okay.
Caleb, thank you for running the clock.
Tyler, giving away $10,000
to CrossFit Games this year.
He won't have. Free for anyone.
HillerFit, maybe his best video ever is out right now.
A review of the Bryce Smith and Danny Spiegel interview.
Fantastic, absolutely fantastic video.
Ari, Avi.
Yeah.
Thank you for joining us.
Okay.
I hope you didn't hear anything you weren't supposed to hear.
No, I heard a little bad words.
I heard someone block out a bad word.
Okay. You heard someone...
Okay. Is that Scottish?
Hey, Hillary, don't ever talk about jiu-jitsu.
Oh.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, dude. He's choked me out before.
It's all right. You can say that.
Next week, guys.
$3,000.
Thank you to HGR CBD.
Thank you to Paper Street Coffee for getting me juiced.
Thank you to FitAid for continuing the juicing to counteract the gummies.
Starlink and Elon, thank you.
Hey, Heeler.
Heeler.
What, Heeler?
I'm going to tell Caleb.
I'm going to tell Matt Souza that you said bad stuff about him,
and then he's going to go.
Yeah?
What did I say?
You called me baldy the other day.
I want to talk to you.
Oh, yeah.
Me?
That was me.
One of you.
It was him.
It was him.
I'm not that nasty.
All right, guys.
Three grand next week, next Saturday.
By the way, oh, tomorrow.
Let me tell you who's on the show tomorrow.
Highest prize purse of all time?
Yes.
Today was.
Every time now.
Tomorrow morning, 7 a.m., Angelo DiCicco.
That show is going to be crazy.
Angelo.
Angelo. Thank you, Ari.
Sounds like a bad move for Angelo.
Why?
Mayhem brings him in a little bit.
I think him and Savon is just going to be off into the wild.
Yes.
When I invited him on the show, he's like, can we talk politics?
I said, absolutely.
Absolutely not.
All right, guys.
Love everyone.
Bye-bye.
Adios.
I know you're bilingual.