The Sevan Podcast - KT Ep. 13 | $3,000 Our BIGGEST Prize Purse YET!!

Episode Date: July 20, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The next victim is waiting in the wings. If you're smart, you're here already. Prize money, $3,000. It is going to rain at the venue. We will be starting early today. Taylor Self, $3,000. Ladies and gentlemen, listen, you have to go to Paper Street Coffee PAPR st coffee calm and you need to order your coffee now And you need to subscribe now because prices will be going up very shortly so get your subscription Subscriptions in and you will be grandfathered in we just made that announcement on the last show also
Starting point is 00:00:58 I cannot say thank you enough to rail in grips. This is One of our very own guys' company. So if you want to really truly support CrossFit and the ecosystem, Jacob Heppner has his own fucking company and what better place to support than a guy who's in the CrossFit space, worked really hard and now as an entrepreneur He started his own company and for him to throw 500 bucks at today's show and get the prize money up to $3,000 fucking insane if you'd like to do the training that the fittest man in the world does it is sentinel training What tape where Taylor at there's the CrossFit Games champ then there's Taylor and then there's everything else like high rocks and all those other fuck nuts
Starting point is 00:01:47 Like this guy is the man the pain cave man the comeback kid Nothing can stop him. This pool is not a sanctioned place. We're doing this completely illegally. Our lawyers are on standby Coffee pods and wads is in the house. Andrew Hiller from Hiller fit is in the house Tyler walked in from the heat one app giving away $10,000 at the CrossFit Games. Also, don't forget the QR code is back. It's up over Tyler's head over there for Fit Aid. I used to drink two per show, but it makes me go to the bathroom way, way, way, way too much. C Beaver will be in the house very shortly with the timepiece. Or Matt Souza. Hopefully someone will be here. We need a timepiece.
Starting point is 00:02:31 I mean I can do it by hand if we have to. All right. I like that. I got my counter. We're going to have a clock here as well. Okay. Bryson, what's the mood there? And can you kind of give us the landscape of where we're at? Are we at a public school? What's going on here buddy? In Del Monte the official programmer buddy of Taylor's official but buddy
Starting point is 00:02:55 YMCA Young men's Christian Association. Yes. Yes, and there's one lane here in the outdoor pool. The indoor pool is like a sauna. So we're doing it out here and just hoping that the weather holds off. Okay and basically where he's pacing right now he's gonna swim across there and back and that's 50 yards. Yeah. Burpees right here down and back 50 yards and burpees right here. Okay and the workout today in case you don't know. Here we go ladies and Okay. And the workout today, in case you don't know, here we go, ladies and gentlemen,
Starting point is 00:03:26 week 13, $3,000, Kil Taylor, 42 burpees, 42 burpees, 50 yard swim, 30 burpees, 50 yard swim, 18 burpees, 50 yard swim. No diving. No diving into the pool, what a bitch. So how does it start? You got to be in the water and kick off from the side Bryson? Correct.
Starting point is 00:03:50 The YMCA won't let us dive so. Will he be using the Raylin grips for this? He has one holding his ball sack inside his jammers but that's not it. Smart. Multi-functional railing grip. Coffee pods and wads. His internet has already stuttered although he's built an amazing studio to do shows in. He's probably at his in-laws house like a dweeb. I fucking did it. Okay oh shit I lost the overlay. Son of a bitch. Where's Caleb when you need him? There we go. We are
Starting point is 00:04:24 two or three minutes from starting. Is he ready Bryson because we still just don't have a clock Yeah, Taylor's ready in two minutes and we have a clock here We're gonna put a phone up with the timer on this ladder Okay, cool. And does that lifeguard know what Taylor's about to do? No, no shot Is there any plan when they tell him no burpees, is he just gonna push through? We did talk about that. Once he starts, he's not stopping no matter what anyone says.
Starting point is 00:04:52 You should say that too. He started, he can't stop. Police or anything. Like the juggernaut. Is the light guard tripping that he's walking around there like he has a 10-inch cock? There's definitely some looks. Yeah, he practiced some burpees earlier and got a few weird looks. Where's he doing them? Just on that concrete? Yeah. His feet are going to bleed.
Starting point is 00:05:14 If you would like to win the $3,000, you obviously need a pool and you need a phone. 928-583-3903. Matt Souza's in the house saving the day with the timepiece. I can see that. The timepiece. Watch. I see the wheel spinning. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Start texting now. People will start sending you links. We're ready when you are, Bryson. Hold on. Sousa, are you ready? Thumbs up from Matt Suzer, executive producer of the 7Bodcast and the host of his very own show on Tuesdays. They're ready when you are. No diving, Taylor.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Are we supposed to make fun of Taylor? You don't look so good. Yeah, remind Taylor no diving. Yeah, he doesn't look like 10 seconds. You look scared He looks skinny He does look a little bit with that in his head the whole time. He's three two one Go, I blew him up last week. I said that he looked thick last week two three Four it's fat thick. No, I thought you look Jack last week six. What's the standard of this burpee seven?
Starting point is 00:06:29 Eight looks good to me Off the ground everyone needs to know that his shoulders are a bit in front of his hips So he can't be giving no one any shit when they try to call in then 13 it's fine 14 good good observation. All right, just making sure everyone knows 16 feet are gonna hurt so bad 17 Just she's grading his feet right now
Starting point is 00:06:53 20, you know, I thought level one they gave me shit. He's like this What's your problem with it? He's not opening the hip. They're like if you're looking at the ground You can't possibly open up your hips 25. 25 don't necessarily agree with that statement 26 to me if your hands were over your head and your feet were off the ground 20 now to me that's fine 29 you're doing the thing you know there's someone person here look at him like oh my god he's done more than 30 seconds that I've done in my whole entire life 34 Bryson if someone comes over turn the audio back on so we can hear you getting yelled at. Copy. 37. Bryson's a cop. 38. What are you a cop? 39. You legally have to tell me Bryson. 40.
Starting point is 00:07:40 41. So Vittorio, that's unnecessary. 42. Notice how he gets in the pool, people. Notice how he gets in the pool people notice how he gets in the pool Thank you Tyler Watkins on the clock heat one. I think it's an ugly dive giving away $10,000 at the CrossFit Games this year Just download the heat one app now Just start and start just picking your wins. That's how you win the 10,000 whoever does the best picking wins the 10 grand That's how you win the 10,000. Whoever does the best picking wins the 10 grand. Andrew Hiller has a video out now currently that shows you that anyone can be better than the best analyst in the sport.
Starting point is 00:08:12 You can pick your winners by Instagram followers and probably win the $10,000. Damn. I'm going to do all my Heat 1 picks via my video. That's smart. Thank you. That always helps us. 208, getting out of the pool at 208. He is on, how many burpees is this?
Starting point is 00:08:31 Two. Three. This is 30 burpees. Four. Five. Six. Got it. How many does he have to do?
Starting point is 00:08:43 Seven. Thirty. Eight. Nine. Six got it. How many does he have to do? Seven thirty eight nine ten. Heidi is that a good wild or a bad wild on his technique? Twelve I wonder if how he feels had this head hanging over the pool like that. That'd be kind of cool actually. I love pool workouts. Anyone? Go ahead. No, go ahead. Anyone who's complaining about the burpees, you're a fucking moron. This just has to be judged easy. This is just like, hey man, we're not here to fucking like, make it difficult. This isn't a judging show. This is us just to show you that Taylor's better than you. And that you should buy Raylin grips.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Hey, and I wasn't complaining. I was just pointing it out. I know I hear you either inevitably give shit to the burpee standard of whoever calls in Where we at 26 I got him at 27 that 28 I believe number No one more one more the pool. Twenty-nine. No, one foot. That's it. Or four, four foot, that's it? Four foot what? That's the depth. His butt is so low in the water, even I know that's not, swimmers aren't supposed to do that.
Starting point is 00:10:13 Even I know that. I thought Taylor was a good swimmer, what the fuck is that? Tanky's carrying with him. The giant caboose. Taylor. Okay, Pedro, you are also allowed to speak. He's frozen.
Starting point is 00:10:29 What a fucking dude. 416. 416. How many does he do here? 18. He got out at 416? Yep. Three.
Starting point is 00:10:43 I like this workout. Four, I do too. He's supposed to say Rocky. two. Yeah. Three. I like this work out for I do. He's. Seven. Eight. How many you doing? Eighteen. Nine. I can't I shouldn't laugh at you Peter because I know the feeling right now. When I was in the friggin' child world. You know what it's like living on an island where brothers and sisters fuck each other?
Starting point is 00:11:11 I guess so, you're from the south. Hey Brayson, make sure you- He's actually mainly playing as a mother. Right now, Amanda said so. Told him not to tilt his head like that while he's- 18, 18, there we go baby. Jumping in the pool for the final round at 509 jumps in the pool 509. Last last lap.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Yeah, he's saving it right when he when he gets out here. It's over. He was miserable. It hurts like a bitch. That we did at JR's Testing for crash like two years ago. He did 150 burpees so fast, but he swam and he never slowed down No flip turn on that turn. That's the first one. He must be dying It looks like it hurts real bad. I just sent out the first link. I sent out the first link link hey you'd be smart if you text multiple times five fifty or someone says Taylor's a goldfish and I'm a shark
Starting point is 00:12:10 you definitely get one what was the time 550 by 50 audio please Bryson yo thank you copy get down there in the grill of the fucking the man the myth the legend killed Taylor Proclivity to do drugs and other bad things. He's supplemented with CrossFit. Oh That's what hey when I first put the first two inches in that's the same sound Haley makes What do you mean the first two? Did he just did he just give a little squeal I Think that was somebody else.
Starting point is 00:12:48 $3,000. Oh my God. Look at these. Look at these fucking meatheads. Look at these fucking meatheads. Look at these fucking meatheads. Is that John Young? Oh my goodness.
Starting point is 00:13:00 CEO shirt and a house. That's right. Here we are. Yeah, baby. Vindicate VNDKA.com. Get your CEO shirt and a house. That's Look at this swimmer body on this fucking guy. I hope you're ready. You didn't know it's Crossfitters only? You tell this guy we're kicking him off. We got a lot of people who want to get on.
Starting point is 00:13:34 He better not be slow. All right. Let's flip this camera around. What do we have to do for what do we have to do for timing? Do you guys do the timing? Yeah, we'll do the timing. But this is it's important. There's a couple things you need to know.
Starting point is 00:13:45 It's 42 burpees to start with, then 30, then 18. You're going to need someone to count. It's a lot of burpees. And then the second thing is he can't dive in. He cannot dive in. OK. Sounds good. OK.
Starting point is 00:13:56 All right. We got a little bit of a restriction on how we have to record since we're in this public pool. So we'll do our best to keep him in frame and everything. Anyone under 18 who's in a bikini, try to keep them out, please. It's halfway down the pool. Oh, sorry. We got to take him out of frame real quick. Oh, he's already on his way back. We're a very conservative show. No children, please. All right. Let me get this camera flipped around maybe here.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Okay. What's the guy's name? Spencer Kissel. Spencer Kissman. All right. I remember seeing this guy talking some shit. Yeah. This is the Olympic swimmer, right? Oh yeah. He's definitely definitely Olympic swimmer.
Starting point is 00:14:36 You want vertical or horizontal? Please. Please rotate that bad boy. Spencer, there's something I need to let explain to you. You know, he didn't slow down on one of the burpees Taylor didn't slow down on one burpee Spencer I've never seen a hang loose symbol used as much as I have in the past minute okay Matt Sousa on the clock. Chad Cole in the wings waiting. Sean Sweeney looking for favoritism.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Like Sean Weenie. No way. You go ahead and give us the countdown brother and we'll start the clock. Don't you know who I am? Go! We're off. I'm gonna go ahead and say Taylor probably left about 10 seconds. Oh, dude. No, no, come on. Tell him to get his ass up. No, he's fine. He's fine. He cannot win. When you know you can't win. We know what he's done. He's done. Yeah, nine to 10. He doesn't know how to do a burpee not a single one of those counts either do you motherfucker? Well Tyler I just asked Bryson. He said they were fine That I pay he said it's good. Hey, all he has to do is touch his hands over his head and get his feet off The ground. Hey, shut up. You're an idiot. That's fair, but
Starting point is 00:16:00 That doesn't he's not he's not opening his hip I literally open my hip every rep That doesn't he's not he's not opening his hip. I literally open my hip every rep You gave your butthole every rep fuck you guys Hey, he ain't beating you anyway, dude, this guy is gonna Peter out so quick dude, he's already slowing down Baby bird he's not gonna make it to 42 burpees dude His name from Spencer to Peter what does that mean Peter doubt? Oh, oh My toes are bleeding 34 36 oh he's hurting.
Starting point is 00:16:45 37. Oh, he's doing a round. Get the lifeguard ready. Get the lifeguard ready. Hey, hey. When did I finish my first set of burpees? 1.27. Oh, fuck this guy.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah, he's in trouble. He's in trouble. 1.39. Sorry, buddy. 1.39 so bad. He's swimming fast, though. He wants to quit. He's slapping the water like you slapped your meat. He's not gonna quit See did he turn it on hey, dude Mr. CEO, I don't mean to hate on you because I love your shirt, but listen that guy's hips are cramping up already
Starting point is 00:17:23 He's gonna be the board. Did I board when did I get out of the pool 208 210 does this money come in the form of a check or Venmo How's he gonna always how's he gonna speed up? Oh no rap by not standing up Oh fuck off those are I said he's not touching his chat Oh, I thought you said I wasn't the dude's done at least you're a fuck you to Taylor He's the star power in the show. I literally I literally lead with the chest This guy's looks like fucking that's from David's daughter slapping his labia is on the ground I think that's nine. I think that's not I think that's zero ten Eleven zero he's all
Starting point is 00:18:18 Hey guys, are you not your are you not friends with this guy tell him to stand all the way up you idiots Are you not friends with this guy? Tell him to stand all the way up, you idiots. He's doing fine. I said the thing to Brayson is he told me to chuck one. Oh, he did? Yeah. Whatever. Fuck it.
Starting point is 00:18:31 I get to cheat, and if people beat me and they do it right, great. I agree. I agree. I agree. Bryson, love you. See you. Listen, the standard is feet off the ground
Starting point is 00:18:40 clapping over your head. That's the standard. The standard? Yeah, this guy's not even hitting his chest. He's getting his toes off the ground. He's touching his clapping over your head. That's the standard. The stand. Yeah. This guy's not even hitting his chest. He's getting his toes off the ground. His hands over his head. When do I get back? When did I get back in the pool? Jesus. Let me tell you that hurts so bad. He's gone. He's off. He's way off. See ya. See ya nerd.
Starting point is 00:19:11 15 seconds behind. He's gone. He's off. He's way off. See ya. See ya nerd You got back at four you got back at 416 I can't wait for you to watch your own video Is it not a cannonball entrance? Why why why are my burpees bad? No, you I mean you're making fun of this living you look kind of funny when you're I mean you're making fun of his swimming. You look kind of funny when you're swimming Dude, I was hurting. I've never swam that that ugly like I felt like that was the ugliest swimming I've ever done in my life. It was so hard Did you win that swim workout at waterblizzitator? Yes, and James Sprague thinks he can beat me swimming I beat him in an event with like 416 Taylor got out of the pool at 416
Starting point is 00:19:40 I beat James and the workout had 2,500 meters of rowing and fucking what else? A 2K run? I will say this, he is staying exactly at the same distance behind Taylor that he was the entire time. So he's not losing any time. He didn't even touch the ground on that one. I think he was sandbagging. He's going to make a comeback.
Starting point is 00:20:00 How many does he have to do? 18? The amazing thing about this is he couldn't have won anyway. There's just no way. I wouldn't have come back on that one. Come back. How many does he have to do? 18? The amazing thing about this is he couldn't have won anyway. Like there's just no way. I wouldn't have come back on the show if we would have given him three grand. The towel is to draw the two.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Holy fuck. Now you guys know the standard. It's feet off the ground, clap over the head. Now you know. Hilar, did I really not open my hip? I know I was bent over, but I really not open my hip. You're always bent over. I can be bent over and not open my hip.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Because my chin's down. Hey, everybody shut the fuck up. Hiller. Yeah. Did I really? Your hip was not open on probably two thirds to three quarters of your reps. All right, whatever. Then this guy's reps are all good.
Starting point is 00:20:43 All right. He says no one can help him. Taylor got in the pool at 5.09. the Five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, Looks like nothing but love. Nothing but love. You're ugly as fuck, but we love you. Hi. He looks like Marshall Mathers. That got an extra chromium. It's crazy you guys are saying that. You guys are the ugliest group I've seen. All fucking day.
Starting point is 00:21:37 That's true. Red mustache. That's true. There's a reason I don't grow one. Because I look like you and I don't want that. Oh my god. Chad Cole, do you understand the rules? In the burpee, just your feet have to come off the ground, your hands have to cut behind your head,
Starting point is 00:21:53 and you can't jump in the water, and you're probably going to need someone to count burpees for you. It's some fucked up burpees, man. And your phone has to work. Wow, you can project a fucking movie onto that guy's forehead. the the the the the
Starting point is 00:22:22 the I just pray to pay some of his best work on that dude's forehead. Man, I could do some damage to that dude. Come on, Shadkoal. We got someone in the wings, a Mateus Mateus. His internet's not even dead. He just froze at that last insult. Come on. Shadkoal, we're gonna put you on hiatus until you come back. We broke his brain? He's just freaking out about the insult. Mateus Mateus Mateus. You sound like a beer. Oh, Mathias Porter. Mathias Porter. Holy shit. He's he's a semi final
Starting point is 00:22:47 athlete. With bananas on you know you can't dive right and you know you gotta at least touch your labia is to the deck. Okay. Hey, let's go. Will you face the camera? I want to see your junk for a second. All right. the Okay, Mr. Porter, give us a countdown. Oh, they got a clock right there.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Oh, nice, 10, nine. Mr. Sousa. Five, four, three, two, one. Yeah, you can see his clock hitter. I can see his clock, but did you say clock? Oh, he's gonna lose, because he's not bending over. Sorry, buddy. Can I ask, so say this guy hypothetically beats a Taylor's time and then someone else comes on and beats that guy's time
Starting point is 00:23:50 Does the money pass on to whoever says the fast? Yes, I just want to be clear. Yes The show's sponsored today by revel in a revel in that is That's what I said it's sponsored by Raylin We're revel in in the sponsors. That's Jeremy Kinnick's grip company Raelins the shit Jeremy Kinnick Taylor if we're being fair yours didn't look anywhere near that good. I dude I've I didn't see him so
Starting point is 00:24:24 20 you can't possibly disagree either if I get if I get fucked on my burpees six oh yeah he's way off pay seven sorry dude 28 yeah he's doing right well these are the best burpees he should get a case of a fit aid you're not cheating you're not trying he's got some serious jiggle in his trunk with his perfect yeah his ass right It looks like an Alexis Texas video on Xvideos, you know. Who's that? Oh, shut up, Hiller. When was I in the pool? 127. Not only did I look better, but- 137.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Oh, that was nice. That was nice. That was nice. He knew what he was trying. Look at that. The sea otter. Look at him go. But is he fit enough? But is he fit enough? He's picking his way in, dude. He is sleek. the it was Mr. Porter going for it. He's now crossed over Taylor's time.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Wow. Four or five seconds behind Taylor self. Yeah, but he was like a few yarder. 212. Can we get that? Are you going? No, no, no, you f**k the pooch. That's why nobody will remember your name.
Starting point is 00:26:01 F**k the pooch. Who put that towel there? His mom. He just be using random towels sitting around Okay, we saw our first burpee slow down he's slowing down damn Hips are getting tight. It says quads are too big. You know guys beat up. He's already so blown up He's turned into an action figure blown up he's turned into an action figure yeah definitely only fans guy for sure yeah he is
Starting point is 00:26:36 actually a 10 meter pool but he's only four foot tall hey this is the only burpee workout i could do that i'd be colton then that's a hand towel that he's doing with the burpees on. Holy shit. Hey, this is a pretty sick pool. It's not a healthy pool. Okay. He's at 25 and he needs to get to 32. No 30.
Starting point is 00:27:01 30. He's got 330 is when you finish, Taylor. What? 330 is when you finish the birthday. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Yeah, it is. You're only five seconds.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Oh, shit. He's put on a couple seconds. He's put on a couple seconds. He did not put on a couple seconds. Yes, he did. He's put on a couple seconds. His fucking pilgrimage back to the pool costume, though. Oh, I love it. Yeah, he put on a couple of seconds. His fucking pilgrimage back to the pool cost him though. Oh, I love it. Chad Cole, you're up next, baby.
Starting point is 00:27:30 You're up next, Chaddy. Can everybody saying send Sweeney a link to shut the fuck up? It's first come first serve. Yeah, holy shit. And also the thing about Sean Sweeney, dude, if you're messaging me how to sign up, fuck off, idiot. Watch the show. Ben, I'll send him a picture of my cock and I said, put this in your mouth.
Starting point is 00:27:53 You're not very good at only fans. He's made up the time. He got out at 417, you were at 416. Holy shit. You guys are fucking liars. You don't know when I got out of the pool. Yes, we do. the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the-
Starting point is 00:28:12 the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- the- nine I can do it he's almost done let's go eleven
Starting point is 00:28:28 what was the five oh nine five oh nine yeah thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen oh shit oh shit seventeen oh shit
Starting point is 00:28:44 oh fuck he's getting in the water at the same time Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, five fifty five fifty, Taylor. Oh, you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're
Starting point is 00:29:03 you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're
Starting point is 00:29:03 you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're
Starting point is 00:29:04 you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're Oh No the flip kick, I'm really happy 20 seconds, that's looking burpees. Oh my goodness Yeah, oh my goodness We gotta go with wall touch. I needed a hundred meter wall I'm driving home. Fuck you guys. Holy shit!
Starting point is 00:29:26 Wow! Oh fuck! Hey Peter, Peter, you should post Peter, you should post the conversation you had with Lazer. He could have had some fucking nuts and come win some money but he doesn't. Wow, he doesn't even look like the same guy. He's trained reform.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Fucking Rob Orlando is a swimmer. Holy. He does look like Rob, doesn't he? Fuck you, dude. But good job. Fuck you. Wow, dude. 3k. Tell JR, but hopefully, I'll see you at crash, baby. Oh, there's not gonna be swimming. There's not gonna be swimming. And I hope you go to crash. Hey, do you have a swimming background? Yeah, I swam at college in Navy. Wow, at Navy? Did he just say Navy? Yeah, yeah. He was one of the dolphin programs. He was one of the dolphin. Fuck me dude. Yeah, I swam in the sixth grade. God damn it. Hey, how bad was it? Taylor was whimpering.
Starting point is 00:30:25 It was really hard. Definitely the hardest crossfit swim workout I've done. I guess the arms really, really tough. Look at him. That's the hardest one you've done. Hey, did you think you were gonna win? Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Oh, fuck you. Oh, crazy. Do we know what his time was? Was it 540? 540. 542. You can't say you're a good swimmer. Oh, crazy. Do we know what his time was? Was it 540? 540. You can't say you're a good swimmer. You're right. 45 seconds to do a 50 free.
Starting point is 00:30:53 You also did the full workout because you did real burpees too. I did it, shut the fuck up Peter. Shut the fuck up Peter. You're the third person who did real burpees. He's not a liar either. Peter's got him. I need somebody to show you how to do a flip turn
Starting point is 00:31:05 let me know and some burpees too i'll show you how to put your mouth around my cock at crash fuck you guys uh um uh what was what was your official time 542 or 540 i thought it was 540 i thought it was 540 no all right whatever okay i think it was 540. I thought it was 540. No, whatever. Okay, I think it was 540. Oh, yeah. That's what Taylor got that too, I think. Okay, Porter, we're gonna let a couple of other people take a shot at it. You text me your name and address to the number that you originally text, you know, the 928-583-3903 number, and we'll make sure we at least get you some portion of the money or something however That shit works and take and text your and text your time if you if you have the top time after the show you get
Starting point is 00:31:52 All the money if you don't then the next guy gets it you know No, I don't know it was but we changed that just now The shoulder no one's beating you dude no one's no one's no one's beating that dude we thought that about Taylor and look what happened I'm not gonna beat you. Oh, hey, dude. No, it's the show. No one's beating you, dude. No one's gonna. No one's beating that dude. We thought that about Taylor. I look what
Starting point is 00:32:12 happened. Yeah, no one. No one's uh no one's beating. Alright. Oh, hey, yeah. Great way to get in the lineup. Call me a homo. Good job. So, wait. Uh that means Taylor's that fast at Burpees is that he made up his time on the swim. That means Taylor's that fast at Burpees is that
Starting point is 00:32:27 he made up his time on the swim. All the way up. Yeah I'm pretty. Eight turn your camera on. Above the water oh you're that she sounds really excited she's turn. I can't believe I got. Actually, it's not true. I'll kick these off. Fucking hell. Come on.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Yeah, they suck. Oh, look, she's on pace. Hey, I really thought. Kate, are you going to turn your camera on? Oh, guys, guys, we should send Sean Sweeney a link quickly because he's at the games. Fucking hell, get in line, man. Catch the number. Text later on the screen. Hey, Sean Sweeney a link quickly because he's at the games. Fucking hell get in line man. Hey Sean, shut up.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Okay, you have a couple seconds. I just sent out five more links. This is crazy how many people are trying to get in today. I will smoke Taylor this time. Who said that? Why is he saying this is outrageous? This is the guy who just won in this. What are you talking about? Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Oh. Oh. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Whoa. Whoa. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You don't stand a chance Chase. Fuck you. I don't. I don't stand a chance.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Chase. It's the only one I'll be able to do though. Chase. Chase. Are you aware that I just got butt raped? Yeah, I am. Crazy. Chase innocently asking earlier, oh guys, what's the workout? Mr. Yellow, Hunter McIntyre in you right now. I don't know what that means. Okay, Chase, we're ready when you are buddy. Let's see. Alright, you guys let me know if you can see the distance.
Starting point is 00:34:06 It's just me, so. Do you want us to count your burpees for you? Yeah, that'd be great. Okay. All right. Can you put your headphones in? Can you do them in the pool? We'll trust you on the distance, Chase.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Don't die. What's the yard? No, I know. Let me go to the other side of the pool. All righty. I'm at the YMCA, so it'll probably kick me out for filming in here. Brain Glant, Taylor turned his head so far to breathe he was looking up at the sun. That's true. I swam like a fucking retard.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Hey JR, JR I know you're listening. Send me Mathias's... Do you have his number? I think JR has his number. I need some swimming lessons. If you do your burpees beside the ladder there, that'll be good. Like here? Yeah, but then you're far away from the wall. Yeah, then your transition sucks. Yeah. Carla fucking Monagod!
Starting point is 00:34:52 Yeah, dude, I need fucking Varsha on the phone, dude. My fucking swimming sucks cock. I can't believe a guy from Navy called in. Alright, at three minutes when I don't get out of the pool in the first round, you guys can cut me off. Fuck the Navy, dude. Hey, Suza's gonna give you a countdown here. Okay. I can't believe you gave that guy a fucking you gave that guy links Who's a fuck you? We're splitting that money 50-50
Starting point is 00:35:14 My earbuds in for the first 42 just to listen you guys but then after that Alright, that's not an electrical hazard. If you get some ESC sounds That's not an electrical hazard. You should get some ESC sounds headphones. You can bring them in the swimming pool. They go through the bone in the back of your head. Okay. Here comes the countdown. Go ahead, Susa.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Okay. Here we go. Three, two, one, go. Do we give Chase a handicap? Why would you need one? Give him a standee cap. Oh wow. His burpees look good.
Starting point is 00:35:43 His burpees look good. They sure do. Hey, you know what's the crazy thing about that is I feel like normally I'm a, like I can swim like Matthias when I'm not out of breath or when I'm not doing other shit, but that just turned me into a fucking idiot. That was crazy.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Okay, this is for the sex page. That's what did it. 11. Oh wow. 12. These are some red shirt burpees this sounds like this sounds like
Starting point is 00:36:10 this sounds like hillers ball sack smacking peters stomach when they fuck what angle are we fucking at? he's hitting you from the back, his nuts are so droopy they're coming around hitting you in the chin hitting you in the chin this helped me stay on pace droopy they're coming around oh hey there's a guy with a fucking swim cap How hot is it in there? 29. I got him at 30.
Starting point is 00:36:45 I have him at 29, but that's okay. Let's give him 30. 31. I'll take the F. 32. Oh my God. 33. 34.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Can't believe we're gonna watch him on Drown Live over there. Chase has got a dumper on him. Is that just the shorts that brings out the dumpers? 37. No, he's a fucking former games athlete He got a big ass Here we go. He's 20 seconds behind it. He's 20 seconds behind Taylor right now.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Wow. Are those his headphones making that sound? Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah, but turn it off. No, it's a seashell, dude. He's not wearing them in the pool, though. They're on the side of the pool.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Omar Canejo thank you. Paisen Paisen. He got to that end at 208 when you were getting out Taylor. Nice. Alright. Carter there's one guy ahead of you Carter. Some guy named Tyler. I can tell he's going to be quick. Don't worry. Tyler's in and out. That was pretty decent 227
Starting point is 00:38:11 Taylor got out at a 220 or 208 20 seconds behind Taylor considering you're actually doing your burpees Next time I see you I'm gonna put my cock in your ass again. You would try to yeah a third time in your ass again you would try to yeah a third time soundtracks god damn it reached our limit of number of people we can have on the show that's interesting wow I don't know what number is that does anyone know hey didn't Jonathan Ortega didn't Jonathan's timeout didn't Jonathan Ortega comment last week when I said that we were gonna be swimming is like What's the goal nobody to call in shut up Jonathan shut the fuck up, bro. Yeah, this is my most popular show ever Yeah, if we drop chase I bet his time gets better I
Starting point is 00:38:59 Didn't know where to cut him off the show his time will drop. I didn't know where Tego was Mexican either until he said that retarded shit the- the- the- the- the- the the- the- the- the- the- the That's exactly what I'm thinking. That's what people always think. I think you got one more. God damn, dude. That's what I thought about myself as soon as I saw my guys get that full. I'm a douchebag. Fuck. I can't even.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Four more? I think you got in at, um, four. 330. 330. Oh, okay. On a scale from 110, how bad do you think he hurts right now? I think nine. He's hurting bad as fuck. He's in a dire cold. Fuck me. I'm a skillful 110 how bad you think he hurts right now. I think I
Starting point is 00:39:46 Cold Fuck me chasing grim commentator for the for the for the crossfit games and other events or 14. Bye bye alrighty, uh, oh Sorry Tyler. There's one person ahead of you. Don't worry. This is gonna be quick. Sorry. God. We got a crazy line up Okay, Kate. Are you ready this time? the show. I'm sorry god we got the show. Yeah she's ready to rock. Someone gonna count her the the five five five five
Starting point is 00:40:55 five five five five five five five the the Malachi one or no matter what hey dude. She's that these are the fastest burpees yet Yeah, but she's not gonna win if she does these and beats Mathias. I'm agreeing. I think blows up, dude Hey, it's a good thing. I got beat honestly because if I would have not got beat everybody would have fucked me up on my burpees I bet Hey, dude, these are fine
Starting point is 00:41:59 Taylor you guys do you guys not understand the sport? Yeah, this is a fucking crossfit class this is the sport holy shit, I have a fucking question to ask I Was considering I was considering making it 50 35 20 burpees. Do you think that would have allowed me to beat Matthias? Was that like 15 more burpees? Oh, yeah Goddamn really you think that would, like 15 more burpees? Oh yeah. God damn, really? You think that would've made the difference, 15 burpees? 38.
Starting point is 00:42:27 37. 38. 39. 39. Fuck, I should've done that, god. 40. 40. Oh, she's slowing down, she's done.
Starting point is 00:42:35 You know what it was originally? Good job, Flynn. Come on, big grass, let's go. 42. Let's go. It was originally three rounds of 25 burpees and 50 yards and I was like man, I really need to make it more shoes. Oh no. No, she like pencil dropped.
Starting point is 00:42:51 It looks like she's moving. Holy. She's moving. If she beats a dude who swam at Navy, she probably gets five grand. I agree. Ain't no chance, bro. She's got some problems already. She's a, you got out at 2.08. She is swimming fast. She's got some problems already. You got out at 208. She is swimming fast.
Starting point is 00:43:07 She's making up time on this swim. Wow. She's savage. She's on pace. Wow. Wow. That was really quick. Wow.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Come on. Taylor, you were 45 second 50. That was terrible. Yeah, I know. She fell off on the last 15 of her burpees. I think we're... Well, usually... Her burpees are slower, I know. person that's it that was it that was it shut the watches that's doing great you guys don't fuck with her she's doing great well she's not gonna win hey Mathias if you're still watching you should wash my shit off your dick dude just just in case You get have
Starting point is 00:44:06 Most people bring Taylor out to dinner before they fuck them that 15 or even make out with me, dude He just got my shit all over No number 17 thank you. She's fucked. This is where it hits This is where this is where a hits. This is where this is where a female can't win because there's no pressing endurance no offense.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Oh come on come on. Okay so Taylor was done at three thirty. Yeah she has. Capital F. I don't know she's in this when this in like twenty five seconds like a real but our next set of weapons to be so slow. Yeah but there's only it's only eighteen you know what's sad about this
Starting point is 00:44:50 whole **** show guys. What let's hear about how bad this show is while we're on it. Yeah I paid a hundred **** twenty dollars for that gym membership to swim that **** workout. I just got my **** beat. God damn it. Hey, we're not turning $100
Starting point is 00:45:11 Hey, Raylin Raylin send me some fucking I need I need reimbursement for that Jim. I already go. Let's go Flynn fuck me Chase good job girl Behind Joe bye. Bye. Thank you. Holy shit. Holy shit chase, did you finish? Yes. Alright. Shake them off again. Okay, what do we got? Oh shit, Tyler's got a swim cap too. Oh fuck. Oh, we made it. Oh shit, here we go.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Good, how are you buddy? Thanks for having me. Wipe that smile off your face. You have no chance of winning. He'll probably hang up on you in the second round. Thank you. Yeah, no. I appreciate the attempt at least okay why do you have a swim do you have a swim cap oh okay all right let's do this buddy all right i don't have a clock so i'll have to trust you guys on it what okay no diving bad idea he said you know the only thing is that this pool has a lip at the top so you won't see me exactly touch the wall but i'll try and jump right out at the the Swim like a 542 or something. Yeah, are you gonna beat him? We're gonna try
Starting point is 00:46:25 Okay, so I don't know if that means anything for all these burpees. What college what college say Gary? Oh Is that a good swim in college? She swim at Navy do that guys a fucking freak Division three that guy that guy's a monster swimmer This guy talks so like okay Okay, let's go buddy You want to count down for you? Yeah No, he's he's got a checkered speedo Those are like the stupid pair of vans that all the girls buy at the van store
Starting point is 00:46:59 You know I'm talking about do you need to count down? I know Yes, who's got a pair when he thought he was gay in eighth grade It was freshman year of high school. Okay, okay. Go ahead and yep Go Good job, Susan. Oh, you're gonna make it Live for the doubters, dude. He looks like fucking Matthew McConaughey on Dallas Buyers Club. This guy looks like fucking Yeah, what do you look like? Matthew McConaughey on Dallas Buyers Club. This guy looks like he fucking shoots their way. What do you look like then?
Starting point is 00:47:26 I look like the guy who fucks your ass Tyler! At the Blue Oyster Saloon. That's exactly what I say. I just go to gay sex whenever I don't have anything to say. I mean gay sex is kind of creative. It is. It can be very creative if you do it right in her 15 16 17
Starting point is 00:47:54 18 19 how far behind me on the burpees was Matthias in the first round I hope he dives in on this Really? Maybe maybe that's where I went wrong Fucking tard Look at this stick floating around. This is every health club ever wait. Is she just swimming in his lane bitches in his lane Fucking dive right on his back! Oh it's a guy!
Starting point is 00:48:28 It's a guy! Oh my god. Dude, I told Lizzy, listen guys. Listen guys. Oh he sees him, he sees him. Oh wow. He can use the other lane right? There's someone in that lane too.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I love that that's like the exercise for some people. It's people say hey, I'm gonna go float in the water for an hour I'm like He's ten seconds behind Taylor Wow they are I just want to see how he handles this situation here I told Lizzie there are a bunch Wait oh yes, it yard Get the fuck out of here! Get the fuck out of here you old fart! Buenos dias senor! Oh he's in the lane! Get out of here! We're talking to you Nichols!
Starting point is 00:49:12 We're talking to you Nichols! Get your Nichols off the screen! This guy's titties are taking up the view! Wait wait wait come back! We need to decide a release for him! He's scared the dude out of the lane! Come back! Wow! Look he scared the dude out of the lane! He scared the dude out of the lane! Fuck yeah! Wow!
Starting point is 00:49:28 Wow! Holy shit! Hey that guy's That guy's chest looks like Peter's labia's! Taylor show some respect! He made up 10 seconds on the swim He made up 10 seconds on the swim!
Starting point is 00:49:44 Andy big dick the guy that was in his lane, too I hope he just fucking kicked him in the stomach when he passed him. He's like get the fuck out of my lane shit real-life wizard sleeve That was Merlin's- That was Merlin's labias! Look at him back there, he's running away now. He needs to just grab the phone and throw it in the pool. That would have been so good. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Holy shit. Hey, your toes are guaranteed- Your toes are guaranteed to bleed? Guaranteed. No, not on this, not on this. Fuck you, guaranteed. It's guaranteed on the concrete. A wadzombie national geographic. Wow.
Starting point is 00:50:34 I don't remember my timing training. Do we even know where he is? Yeah we don't know where he is at all. We've done it around the 30. Sousa, Savon's got the clicker and he's never paying attention. He's too busy drinking a pit-aid. Good day. Thank you to Raylan Grips. Do we have a commercial for them, Sousa? We do. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:50:59 Play it now. We are at he needs to get in the water at 416 at 416 he needs to get in the water guys why did we mute that yeah that's 330 yeah that copyright 330 yeah yeah he's boned oh no sorry 330 wow hey hey I gotta say this I gotta say this I don't feel that bad cuz a guy at fucking swim at Navy beat me But I will say this the several games athletes that were talking all that shit You guys are fucking pussies for seeing the workout not calling in. I think hey, dude There's 30 people who are trying to get in who can't get in dude. Oh, yeah. Oh dude. It's fucking nuts Taylor Taylor self got out from kill Taylor at 416 at this point. We say bye
Starting point is 00:51:47 We check in on chase you good No Carter will be back to you shortly a quick quick commercial from our sponsor and we'll be get Carter with the he's got the cap on Carter with the cap on Hey Taylor action. Oh, am I playing it? Oh, I don't know Get your grips now. Thank you for putting up the money today. Price versus $3,000. I keep forgetting whose company that is but he's a legit crossFit games athlete what's his name uh it's the it's uh brian grub jason grub
Starting point is 00:52:51 no john raylan no uh tupac no jason grub is their athlete shut the fuck up i know but it's owned by um jason philippa no it's owned by i keep wanting to say jeremy kinnick but it's not it's owned by i'm looking where's this stuff suza sent me um jeremy parkson joe biden jacob hebner jacob hebner no it's not no like the rain was launched into the crossFit space by none other than jacob hebner in 2019 yeah it doesn't seem to me that he started it though does it it's a u it's a UK company you use code 720 Use code Taylor as well Use code shit on dick use that QR code in the middle. Oh shit. There's a guy named sea bass waiting to okay Carter What's up, buddy? How are you good good good. This is actually my first time calling in. Oh really cool
Starting point is 00:53:50 My first first time swimming Yeah We're just calling you a pussy Good, good, we're just calling you a game. We're just calling you a pussy. Oh yeah, no you're right about that shit. Oh my god. Ow, my fucking toes. Do you have a chance?
Starting point is 00:54:12 Of course, if I can figure out how to work this map. You have a chance to be the guy who swam at Navy. You have a chance to be the guy who swam at Navy. You have a chance to be the guy who swam at Navy. Go Army, beat Navy. Navy is his pussy. Oh wow. Swim? What the fuck? That should be our start.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Am I frozen or is he frozen? We should end him with something. Alright. Why are we not going? Let's do this shit. Should we get a countdown? with something. All right. Why are we not going let's do this shit. Yeah you ready you ready. I was as bad as Taylor when I was frozen. Hey. Three two. Oh
Starting point is 00:54:57 no. Are you on pace. Almost went right to the water. What are you doing. He knows how to do a bird. He's a roof rack bike Rich huh your parents go to that country club don't they? Yeah, you look at the size of that fucking towel. I bet it's soft as shit, too His toes aren't bleeding. This is in his basement. That's his dad in the pool. Yeah, I lost my clicker Hey, whoever is filming
Starting point is 00:55:34 Reach over there and kick that towel across the fucking pool whenever he gets up Oh, it's two towels. It's two towels. Never mind. He's poor. Oh, okay He's going three towels three towels Holy shit Three towels 26. It's three towels. He's on top of Take three towels just 30. Oh We got a time to beat his 540 Taylor got in the pool at 127 the time to beat his five forty uh Taylor got in the pool at one twenty seven the time to
Starting point is 00:56:07 beat his five forty. It's incredible that Sarah trained three days for this without knowing what the workout was. It's amazing. Is there a real person we don't know looks real. Oh he's getting close huh close to what death., he's yeah that too.
Starting point is 00:56:26 He's right there. Hey, and remember all the people who are trying to win this are swimmers. So if they can get close on the Burbys, yeah, they're good. I had this idea. We should definitely for the people who lost have a t-shirt for them that just says off pace. Oh That's good. I like that about the hate your idea. I hate people telling me to do but that was actually brilliant. Good job And even a better idea is they have to buy their own t-shirt tail, right? We'll give them a discount code, of course, we're not assholes you can have on the back
Starting point is 00:57:03 You can have some maybe a Majora's too I'm definitely real run fellas Taylor got out of the bullet 208 this dude is not playing it's probably the three towels keeping him on base clearly the camera woman is knows where to put an angle so we can't tell if he's standing up all the way hey good job he's jumping high yeah he's feet are coming off the ground higher than Taylor I mean these are less high ish what's up jump as high as the guys good workout yeah it's a great workout you finished it I did when did I uh did I even make it out of the pool before you guys turned it off? Yeah, you're under griffies All right, we got four minutes guys. That was super fun. Good job. This is jacked
Starting point is 00:57:56 Jesus jacked. Yeah, can I just say that my favorite thing since we started doing this show was Jason and asking him. Hey, are you okay? No and I hang up again Where's he at Why are we not bring Taylor? I don't know he took himself out. Oh, he needs. Oh, here he is He needs I don't know how to put myself over there. We go. He needs to be in at 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 just to be on Taylor's time From Sentinel training the top is Taylor self from kill Taylor below him is Andrew Hiller from Hiller fit the greatest YouTube station in the CrossFit space below him taller Watkins from the heat one app giving away $10,000 at the CrossFit Games this year. You can sign up now
Starting point is 00:58:41 It's a go to any app store and download the heat one app It's easy and free and fun to join below me is Pedro White from coffee pods and wads the greatest podcaster in the space with the greatest questions he actually lets his guest speak and below him Matsu is the executive producer of the Saban podcast and about to get us a penis pump sponsor. Thank you. Wow. I'm using that thing. First thing we get it. I'm fucking slapping that thing on my pack. There are size requirements Taylor Does it increase size just asking for it It increases by over 55% let's go Taylor got out at 416
Starting point is 00:59:26 Even though my grandfather was in the Navy. Well, fuck the Navy. I move. That was tight, right? I've never seen them walk through this. It's coming down to transitions. The the. Who's this guy? The senior most rep guy in the space.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Andrew Hiller has never seen the otter technique of getting out of the pool. Oh, who? It was the amputee technique. I hope I have a walrus. The adaptive division has nothing on Carter. The stump shuffle. I really hope that this guy does not beat Gaius. Come on!
Starting point is 01:00:01 I hope he does. I hope he does. this guy checks at least one What a retard Attention to detail motherfuckers. Oh my god $3,000 I really $3,000 mistake Have screwed up because they can't remember the logistics Wow To that one dude with the one rep the guy in Krypton
Starting point is 01:00:46 For you Carter. They Don't think I don't think he would have beat it. Anyway. Where is he? He's pretty far off base. He's in the pool, dude He's gone. He just decided fucking I'm out. You can't see Carter. You're the man. I hope your girl bitch slaps you man Sweeney Sweeney you're close. There he is. The sea bass. What the hell? What is a sea bass? Oh, that's a straight Hills Have Eyes looking over here. Put those fucking chairs back.
Starting point is 01:01:13 Sorry. Does he know what show this is? Hello. Yeah, I think your OnlyFans is still open. You are not matching our energy, sir. This guy's on me she bought a phone last week i need i need this because there's children around all right yeah you look like you shouldn't be allowed around yeah are you not supposed to be around the children or why are you so secretive hey this is a this is a new this is a new shaved
Starting point is 01:01:42 head i did this like last week oh to change in disguise so they don't know that you're the same guy. Okay, listen, you're on the register, you're still on the registry for the shaved head. So this, this pool is a 50 meter pool. Oh, I'm so no. Come on, man, there's people waiting. But I have it, I have it marked halfway.
Starting point is 01:02:00 That cone, Richard? Okay. Oh yeah, we could've put him off. Okay, go, go. We're gonna give you one chance, yeah. That tone Okay Okay, go go all right give you free yeah, so you have no wall to kick off You're just gonna turn around don't you fucking tell me what to do Okay, you go we'll start the clock for you, all right three two one Just when I thought our show is ghetto What the fuck is the cone he was pointing at you see that cone over there over his eyes That's the distance. He's not allowed to be around kids
Starting point is 01:02:44 Over his eyes. That's the distance. He's not allowed to be around kids Side of the pool is for him Like Sarah's trying to entice us here I Don't even know who's who there's too many there's too many that are like We're gonna do one more after this we're gonna do sweet Sweeney when this dude shaved his head he became see me That's what he was telling us Okay, he's already off. I don't know what it is, but he's actually I don't know 127 127 He was doing about 20 minutes ago Sean Sweeney center sent in a message saying I am a games athlete Let me in so I shouldn't actually bring him on.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Wow, did he really say that? Yeah, it's way back. Wow. Wow, I'm gonna roast the fuck out of this nerd. He got a link like the honest way. I mean, I'm just dropping him in randomly. I'm not looking at shit. We gotta keep going, dude.
Starting point is 01:03:42 We gotta go for an hour 15. We get one more after this for sure. One more after Sweeney. the ball. I'm not looking. We got to go for an hour fifteen. We get one more after this for sure one more after Sweeney one twenty seven is when Taylor got in the pool the sea bass should be finishing up here shortly
Starting point is 01:03:55 there is right on. The best. Problem. Yeah he's got no kick turn he's got no wall to kick off he's just turning around your own. And it's fifty to kick turn off a small child swimming on the other side. Hey, kids, stand here. I'll give you an ice cream.
Starting point is 01:04:08 I'll give you an ice cream. So that kid. Andy has to go underneath. Does he have to go underneath those buoys every time? Looks like it. Wow. That's why he was kicked out of the pool. It's because he was practicing kicking off of kids.
Starting point is 01:04:24 I don't think he has this measured right he swam too far no he's doing great I think he's just slow no he's way behind he got in the water with a good time and now he's get he either sucks at swimming all right or he can't turn around off a wall oh that's what it is you're right he just lost seconds seconds in the can't he can't flip turn. Excuse me, Chase. 223. Oh, he lost 20 seconds in the pool. Damn. He's... All right, give him the boot. Give him the boot. We'll give him one more round. What?
Starting point is 01:04:54 Let's see. Let's see when he gets in. Let's see if he can make up some time. He's got to get in at 330. Wow, these turkeys have changed, dude. Look at that little hip thrust at the bottom. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah., dude. Look at that, that little hip thrust at the bottom. Yeah. Oh yeah. BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM B talking it's 1300 less than last week who haven't been Taylor gets smoked in the first round like he's looking to see if he's still on yeah you're still. Yeah yeah we're going to the- guy on first you should okay like. You
Starting point is 01:05:50 know you should put in the back of the line. That was the giveaway. It is carcass out where Sarah. It's a good three thirty three thirties where Taylor got in the pool this guy is now at three forty this cock out and he put it in me. Yeah. I fear your cocks out.
Starting point is 01:06:06 You get shuffled to the front of the line. Imagine there's a thousand people watching. Okay. So he made up two seconds on the burpees. Man, burpees. There's a thousand people watching some guy do burpees by a pool and seven people watching an announcement for tier so-called athletes. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Yeah. Dude my god. Yeah. Dude, stop. Who's the athlete? Just nobody respond to that please. Yes, yes. Girlfriends here. Taylor got out of the pool at 416. 416 Taylor got out of the pool. I'll find out who the athlete was.
Starting point is 01:06:42 It's Ariel Owen. I will drown you out with scratcher. I like Ariel a lot too. It's kind of fucked up. I love Ariel. That's not a dig, a tear by the way either or a Wadabluza. Yeah, back home now. Maybe I'll walk you back.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Maybe walk it back. Who's the dig at? It's just a dig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep pushing that Taylor. That's good. Okay, he's 30 seconds off phase. Good job. See baths. Good job. Bye. Bye. That will be our donation to the disabled class. Nice. Hey, you know,
Starting point is 01:07:12 the time the beat is? Sweeney. Why you what? Well, we can't we didn't hear anything you said, but we heard sex and we heard mouth and we're gonna make assumptions. We can put the rest of it together. I love this.
Starting point is 01:07:34 I have a wife, Sean. We do do that. It's called a beard. It's called a beard in your world, Taylor. But I would also have sex with Sean Sweeney. Do you guys have sex? I can't believe Sean Sweeney lives somewhere where they have a pool. Hey, do you know what the time to beat is?
Starting point is 01:07:54 It was a Navy swimmer. Well, there's that giant thing on the wall. I'm willing to bet. Those shorts aren't made for you. You're on a photographer, Will? Oh, he's got no goggles on, dude no goggles on dude, they're honest fucking forehead. Are they waiting on us? Rylan grips am I counting it down? You should have let Ellie do the workout
Starting point is 01:08:24 What go you should have let Ellie do the workout Wait what he's touching his hands together. He's doing jazz hands Listening to bebop what the fuck are you doing with your hands bro? It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy. These guys are better than Taylor. It's real bad. I think Mathias is going to get Sean Sweeney's shit on his dick too. Oh, I was so in on that. You think Sweeney's got this Taylor?
Starting point is 01:09:01 No, I think Mathias is getting, I think think what guys is gonna fuck his butt too. Oh good Well, I hope Sean Sweeney doesn't beat me if he beats me I'll be kind of um If two people win the money rolls over to the next week as well, too Yeah, you gotta read the fine print guys come on hey Brian Clark hey Brian Clark shut the fuck up and that's the only comment I'm pulling up today Nice Taylor What an enlightened gentleman, where's sweetie at what number is he at two What's he at 36, okay Taylor got in the pool of 127 127
Starting point is 01:09:48 You're off pace nerd You know what's really annoying is already said he's on pace when the one was doing the work For a long time he's eight seconds back 38 Let's see what kind of swimmer this guy is. Maybe he's holding American one. Fuck me. You know, America. If he's a real cowboy to wear his hat in the swim. Wait, wasn't Sean Sweeney and a Navy SEAL?
Starting point is 01:10:16 No, was he? No, he worked in Old Navy. It's different. Holy fuck. He was not a Navy SEAL. Oh To 17 oh he doesn't want to hurt his toes oh my gosh Hold out he's his butt crack you showing dude this guy's What's up What are we doing another caller he's way what happens he froze Maybe he should have spent some of the time he was texting asking for a link to just fix his internet What do we do? Take another caller. He's frozen. What happens? He froze.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Maybe he should have spent some of the time he was texting asking for a link to just fix his internet and check it. Maybe he ran out of minutes. Oh! Ah! Two minutes are gone! Oh my god! Oh shit! Oh my god!
Starting point is 01:11:24 Hey, Ellie, you're gonna have to hang up and try to get back in dude quick. That's the only his only like I mean Agatha Agatha trench bussy Runchbull He's saying he was a swick guy special winky cock. Oh, that's what did that's what tetlow does special winky cock Struggles to reach the top shelf. You know, what's the official word on that? What do we do? What do we do? I'm so tired. What do we do? What do we do? Sweetie's camera went down. What do we do? The pool is closing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:06 The lifeguard just staring at me because I've been sitting here for the last 35 minutes. Oh, it's that bad. You don't feel so good. I haven't gone that hard in a pool probably since college. Did that mess you up in the pool? Dude, it turned me into a frickin
Starting point is 01:12:22 fully extra chromosome like being like I just. That's not dude okay we'll take oh wait shit did I lose on paste still loud and live sports guys in case you were wondering this may be the most entertaining show there's no other show like it tremendous everybody else is copying us They want to be us. We're the best. Oh cool, and I mocked their announcement Is all these people want to get in and I didn't give chase any home cooking I'm just pasting the link just whoever comes on top. Oh
Starting point is 01:12:59 Keep entering and just hoping that like Susan or Taylor Okay, look this is our last one. The show's run over. It better be Sarah. Matthias. It should be Sarah. Matthias Porter. No, I see her, Susa.
Starting point is 01:13:16 Oh, she got in. Oh shit. I'm just happy I squeezed into my suit from college. I hate not being able to see the back end. It trust me. Oh, she's text like 20 times. Yeah, but a female is not ready. Here she is.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Sarah. Are you Sarah? She looks like Sarah. Is that the same? That's a high pile count on that tower. Thank you. Just what we thought we'd get. Carpet. Oh, please. On his final lap. Hey. Wait, can we get the phone sideways? what we thought we'd get carpet.
Starting point is 01:13:49 Like, can we get the phone sideways? Come on. You got to unlock it. He wasn't on pace. Sweetie just finished at 539. John Young just finished. You know what we need you're doing? We're ready when you are, Sarah. Let's go, girl. Three, two, one, go.
Starting point is 01:14:17 I wonder if she's doing the pressure for that. I never think you're gonna make it. Oh, okay. This is like a... This is like a... This is a pity. This is like, ah, we feel bad for you. Your camera in slow motion. Take it off. Motion.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Hey, those are good quality. Right. Just let her do 10 burpees. Maybe she'll be able to beat me with any. Can you change your phone to playing in 1.5 playback? Please. That's true. It's my show.
Starting point is 01:14:42 I better wear my suit like that. I would have made the whole whole workout. It's my show. I bet if I wore my suit like that, I would have made the whole workout. Damn right, Chase. Her burpees are still more masculine than Sweeney's. September 19th through the 23rd, San Antonio Tech, the Wheelwad Games. Hey Sweeney, if you're watching, next time film your burpees, dude, because you look super gay. Hey, hey, Suza, play the commercial and then we'll catch your last five burpees. Hey, 12.
Starting point is 01:15:27 Welcome back, everyone! 13. We all saw you adjust your towel while the commercial was going. Can we put this on 1.5 speed? We all show you adjust your towel all the commercial Don't forget to use rel and grips from here Use code Taylor down below. I love how He says is hey Taylor your game cuz all you talk about is gay but sex and then he watches burpees, and he's literally getting fucked by a dude on him This isn't a good
Starting point is 01:16:15 You're the winner in our hearts. That's a bad sign a spirit spirit of the kill Taylor. That's what you say to someone with Down syndrome I Don't know it looks Richard also subscribes to our only fans. That's why he's saying that All right, what number is she on 42 just up in the pool During the burpees we we missed a swim right? He's trying to control her heart rate guys you don't understand you don't need to control it that much It's all about making it up on the back end Hey, you're on pay
Starting point is 01:17:03 Definitely making it up on the back end. Sarah, this is great. Not even at a pool. You had a pool. She's at a big red. As we are celebrating our fifth female contestant here on the Kilted Show, I want you to know if you're getting into that
Starting point is 01:17:20 pool. Nice. Yes, it does. All right. You know, you should have used one of those. You know what I'm talking about? Has the chair and it pulls you over and it lowers you in the pool. That one right in the background. This is this is our last swim.
Starting point is 01:17:43 I'm surprised she didn't hold her nose before she went underwater. At this point, she's a pull the cap off and do the hair flip when she comes out. Yeah, she looks like she does water aerobics. Does she like do that thing where she sits and bounces in the fucking shallow end? The only thing that would have made this better is if a lifeguard got involved and had an interview for some reason. Jeremy wants to know if she's single. Let's go, Sarah.
Starting point is 01:18:09 Let's go, you know. You want to see if you can come out of the water, Sarah. You got to at least give the fans that. There we go. All right. Thank you, Sarah. Good luck for your CrossFit Games aspirations. Great job, Sarah. All the contestants today, please send me your address. Oh, it's gonna be hard to get you a case of FID aid. I didn't figure this out. There's so many
Starting point is 01:18:32 people wanting to get in. Hey, do we think Sean Sweeney even came close? Oh, I think his fucking phone overheated. He just texted me. Damn. Hey, Sean, send me your LE, whoever phone this is. Send me your address, we'll send you out in case of fit aid. Can you ask him what his time was? I want to know. Yeah, what was your time Sean? I'm betting he'll say, oh you kicked me off because I was going to beat your time. That's what I was fully expecting. That's what I was going to beat your time.
Starting point is 01:18:58 I got a picture of his phone. He's not kidding. Holy shit. You overheated. Oh that sucks. Is it hot in that pool too hot for TV oh he's got an iPhone 6 in Idaho wherever the fuck he lives right why us us too Sarah us too thank you Matias Matthias Matth. Matthias. Matthias. Matthias, you're going to have to also send me shit.
Starting point is 01:19:31 How am I going to get a W8 form? Hey, I'll send you my bank details and then. And unfortunately, the window for the winner has closed. So we do not have one this week. Next week we're going to $3,500. It's going to be the same exact workout, but we're going to add a lap. Hey, shout out Vindicate for paying for my gym membership. Even though I just cut, even though I got my fudge packed in.
Starting point is 01:19:51 I'm pretty, thanks for having me. No, no, it's just like a disc. The workout next week is a 10 bag lunge workout again. Yeah, I'm doing next week's five rounds, fuckers. But it's in the pool. You know what I should have done? Weight vest burpees in the pool. You know what I should have done weight vest
Starting point is 01:20:07 burpees in the pool you know. Yep always a good one. Waits and go. Yeah this is live on the. Hey that all the way to the right preorder renegades a fit oh sheeshesh. Look at that. Damn Damn check out the front check out the front you guys catch the reference rage against the machines the sick man I thought I was gonna love things in New York. So is Susan Sarah Hey that makes two of us that you're well and grips for those slippery poles
Starting point is 01:20:39 Rellen grits use code Taylor down below as well the key office Whoa leggings. I Didn't know they had leggings. Those are male legs. They have a wizard sleeve pocket. I think it's a it's a coin pouch for your 10 sec. It's a coin. Hey, Tyler.
Starting point is 01:21:01 So I guess I got to get my my d dick sees when I'm looking this haven't funny shit removed me now we're just goofing now I'm doing business as hey so I sent you doing business. Hey, so I sent you a... You're doing business? I got it. He's texting Suzy. I want to make sure I don't lose... What's his name? Mathias? I'll shoot him a text. I have his info too.
Starting point is 01:21:35 Hey Chris G, isn't it rage for the machine now? No, it's fucking not, you stupid idiot. They weren't for vaccines. They weren't for COVID. So shut the fuck up, Sevan. I see you getting ready to say something. I think anyone said they were for vaccines. They weren't for COVID. So shut the fuck up, Sevan. I see you getting ready to say something. Anyone said they were for COVID. I bit my tongue.
Starting point is 01:21:51 Rage on behalf of the machine, I think was what someone else put in there. Oh shit, this girl, we should have had this girl on. Listen to this. This is a girl said this to you. Your dick doesn't see anything Big John Young off the cross the games update show. Yeah You she reminds me of that beaver tranquilizer girl from dodgeball What she looks like you all don't get this reference. That's that's trunchable from fucking Madeline. Matilda, Matilda, that's it. Oh, that's not a real girl right there.
Starting point is 01:22:30 Oh, no. That mistress, Matilda. Oh, that's a. Oh, it's probably some fat dude. This is out on his couch. What the pretty boy. This I thought that was too good for a girl. Chase me. Oh wow that is out here snitching well chase okay it's Adrian Conway next next next week or do we go back to Saturday next
Starting point is 01:23:01 week yeah we go back to Saturday can we talk Yeah, we go back to Saturday. Can we talk about all the fucking ah, never mind. Yeah Go ahead. Let's do it. All these games athletes talked all this. Oh, maybe they tried dude. Maybe they tried Their phone overheated. Fuck you guys. Fuck you guys. You're pussies name one Name one Name them out loud Oh shit. No name them out loud No name them in your head, okay Not gonna name them out loud don't name them out
Starting point is 01:23:35 They know who they are 34 there's 34 contestants we didn't get to Wow Yeah, really no way you sent out 34 text messages. No, I mean send them out I didn't send them. I don't know if I should be showing people's phone numbers, but... How many did we do? Ken Walters. Ken Walters said... These are all the people I didn't respond to. The blue dots. Wow.
Starting point is 01:23:53 We did nine? We did nine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Ken Walters, you're like 106 years old. You can't use a reference like you don't want smoke. You don't even know what that means, you old fuck. I think you hit harder when he does that, actually. Oh, oh! You can't use a reference like you don't want smoke. You don't even know what that means, you old fuck. I think you hit harder when he does that actually.
Starting point is 01:24:07 Oh, oh. That means it's a beer gun. One more thing, one more thing. So I got this box from Mint Trading Cards. Oh, you've been waiting forever to do this. Yes, yes, yes. One of my favorite, the Lone Ranger. You chucked thatanger I did Chyra Milligan
Starting point is 01:24:30 he Seaman McCosian Oh you got to can I have one my one of them? Yeah Have another one of your hand Oh He gave me all the ones he printed oh shit dude, this is a whole stack of them they That's what his media pass is gonna be We're all just gonna use that oh look at this They they actually have now it so you can buy a pack and then you get so what you get. Oh, that's awesome
Starting point is 01:25:09 What what is that? So I guess you open this and then inside of it It's just there's like one or two or three or four or five cards something like that Okay, Here we go. This one I'm taking to bed with me tonight. This one I'm taking to bed with me tonight. I just ejaculated in my pants. Adrian Conway. Hey.
Starting point is 01:25:38 My newest and most favorite. Someone who might be my favorite athlete if she can do the games two years in a row. Hattie, can you? Nice. Maybe I'll have a threesome tonight. Hey! Who's getting, are they making you airtight? Who's got the front? Who's got the back? Jason Kalipa. Holy shit. It's the complete B team. Jason Kalipa and Enola Kai and Sabamitose. I cannot believe, what, you ran out of people you could do? This is crazy. Why is he the one athlete?
Starting point is 01:26:05 No, he was the one that reported him. Because he was on the show and I know I'm going to have to face him. So I don't want to keep calling him anal. Hey guys, shut up and scribbles at four o'clock. There's a show where Tanner will pull up your comments and respond. Yeah. If you guys want to come and talk shit about my swim on that show, if you want to get this smoke,
Starting point is 01:26:30 as Ken Walters would say back in 1932 during the Great Depression. Ken's talking about smoking a brisket. He's talking about smoking his mom's pole. Trans mom? She's a stripper? That's a lot to think about. Wow. Stripper pole. No pole no no he had a trans mother
Starting point is 01:26:47 okay so two more shows today do you have a show today Pedro no no dude I'm on the I'm on the docket I got shut up and scribbled and after that I'm going on glint and we're talking about Trump sorry oh you are what time are you going on Glinton 530 we're talking about Trump daddy what are you talking about that he's the fucking best and everyone's copying him hmm about his new ear piercing look at this look at this see this no this is what Mathias Porter put in my wiener what did you put in your wiener it's a shrimp dude oh he put in my butt sorry in're urethia
Starting point is 01:27:25 That's just abusive Dude, car. I was trying for the bus Chase, thank you. Thank you guys Fuck peace Do you speed yourself? No, it's just quiet. There's a lot of noise on chase. I didn't realize You're back. Oh my loud Would have totally challenged Taylor I just like the pool and the fitness so Yes, that every games. I used to be honest at least Pedro doesn't have a show today Taylor has two shows today
Starting point is 01:28:02 He's gonna be on a shut up and scribble with J. R. Howell and the Clinton things Andrew when's your next video coming out? Monday Monday Tyler walked in sign up for the heat one app also buy tickets to the games and come to our booth. Hey guys, what's a bonus? also of the United States I got a question. It's a magic spell Taylor. Hold on. Hold on. How do I know that you don't know that? I got a question. It's a magic spell, Taylor. Hold on. Hold on, Taylor.
Starting point is 01:28:26 I don't have any people. Just focus. Matt Souza has a platform at SKOOL. Taylor, did somebody answer the question? Forward slash. No, you just need to actually just put in that and type in CrossFit. We'd pop up too.
Starting point is 01:28:41 OK, school.com, type in CrossFit. There's over 200 affiliates that are already part of that community. It's also where Susan the 7 podcast are curating all of the podcasts with Greg Glassman. They're all there and easily accessible along with shitloads of other tools. If you're an affiliate, it's very affiliate centric. It's a good place. Lots of great dialogue going on there. Heat one app also Tyler Watkins is partnered with the CrossFit games. Very exciting for Tyler and GoWod giving away $10,000 and Chase Ingram, just turn on anything CrossFit and you might hear his voice. Oh,
Starting point is 01:29:17 Oh, no. And the fantastic show. Sorry, Chase. I forgot about your, your moonlighting job. Get with the programming with Bill Grendler. You guys have a show today, Bill? Chase? No, we're getting back on track next week. Bill's been out of town. All right. Always an excuse for something.
Starting point is 01:29:32 Talk to you guys later. Oh, okay, go ahead. Taylor, you had a question. Sean Sweeney, what was your time? Post your time to the comments, bro. Just like the old days. We gotta know. We gotta know what your time was.
Starting point is 01:29:43 Also, if people want money I filmed Three of my five affiliate video Entries today so people should enter that that you can find that on the school thing There's advice on how to do it in there, too. Oh cool. That's very cool Pedro signed up and he's in there too You're gonna be the only entry you're gonna win five grand Pedro. Easy money. And I didn't even have to fucking swim. All right guys we'll see you next week uh $500 uh thanks again to uh Raelyn whether it's his company or not. John Rayleigh.

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