The Sevan Podcast - KT Ep. 16 | WIN BIG
Episode Date: August 20, 2024www.affiliatevideocontest.com FITAID, 40% Off: https://www.lifeaidbevco.com/fitaidrxz-sevanpod?utm_medium=pdcst&utm_source=sevanpod&utm_campaign=promo__pdcst-sevanpod-qr My Tooth Powder "Matoothian"...: https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS: Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah, look at that.
Wow, people are, it's a picnic. People are bringing their shit. It's like a picnic.
It's the most buckets I've ever seen in my life.
It's an official cross-breed gym with a dog running around.
No ref. Oh, that was Tyler's voice.
What's this? It's blind relentless constant pursuit of excellence. Welcome to the greatest show on the internet.
The most fun you can have any time during your week during the worst week of your life.
Hi, welcome to Kill Taylor.
See Beaver on the bottom, Tyler Watkins, Matt Sousa, myself, dead center is uh Taylor self, the brain behind Sentinel training.
It has been a long time since I thought about um uh killing myself. I want to say fuck.
Coming a lot. Probably probably in my 20s was the last time I thought about it.
Probably in my 20s was the last time I thought about it. Probably in my 20s.
I was like, I'll never forget it.
I was like, I'm done.
I wasn't really in a dark place.
I know that's kind of weird to say when you want to kill yourself, but I wasn't in a dark
place, but I was like, I'm done.
I'm done.
I had reached some like rock bottom, like some emotional end.
It was getting a little dim, not dark.
And it's so long ago, it's not even, it's not even, unfortunately, it's not even relatable
to me.
Boy, this is going to be a fun show.
Our sponsor today, upliftwa.com.
Are you in that spot in your twenties where shit is fucking like you're reeling?
It's really dark, pointless. Getting dim don't forget you but but in all seriousness I
remember for me I talked about it on the show with the preacher for me I was just
like hey I'm just gonna turn myself off I didn't want to hurt the body you know
what I mean like I didn't want to jump off a roof or cut my throat so I was
just like I'm just gonna lay down and just like turn just lay here until I die
Jason carlis
I would ask everything in your 20s everything i'm like i'm done
I'm done. I'm done. Look at look at taylor's chick is just naked but with the killed taylor shirt on fucking awesome
I love it exactly how we envision her on this show beaver topia
Yeah, I am Bryson really I
Remember when I was seven was when I learned the word suicide I
Remember I was at school and I learned it. I learned the concept of killing yourself. Someone said it and
I came home. I came home and we had this big knife. It was like probably only like that big, but I thought it was huge as a little kid.
That's not a knife.
That's not it. What if your wife said that to you and you pulled out your penis?
I would have stated dude. That's not a what if your wife said that to you when you pull out your penis Bryson yeah, are you okay?
After what JR said about you yesterday on the fucking show you might need to go to uplift wad uplift I didn't hear what he said about you yesterday on the fucking show, you might need to go to uplift what?
Uplift uh, heighten.
I didn't hear what he said about me.
I asked him, I asked him how he-
I said what's the bottom of the barrel baseline of people getting invited to crash?
Are you safe? Are you around any sharp objects right now?
Uh, no, well I heard that but-
And I said would you invite Bryson? He wouldn't even answer the question.
He just fucking- but-
Yeah, I'm trying to qualify. Oh, alright. Well good luck buddy. Me too. Yeah, same. And he wouldn't even answer the question he just fucking but
Yeah, same oh
My goodness whose fat dog is that it's just the local CrossFit one it shows up when he signed your affiliate license
Hey, that's part of the is that dog part of the affiliate proposition? Yeah. He's the value prop. $500. That's the cutest value prop I've ever seen. You, uh, for 4,500 bucks, we let you put up a sign that says CrossFit and send
you one fat Rottweiler. I don't know how much that Rottweiler is. Hey, all seriousness,
maybe CrossFit should do a deal with all the local fucking pounds, you know what I mean?
Dog dog, what are the places called that kill dogs?
rescue shelters?
Rescues they should do it. They should do a deal
50% never thought of that sign up. That's a really interesting
Dog that comes with your gym
Sign up that's a really interesting dog that comes with your gym
That's what I'm talking to that or it's gonna get killed. So
Not I'm so glad I didn't kill myself
Really proud
Term laying there till you just don't get up. It's not killing yourself. Oh, that was the goal
Lazy, dude Too much that weed brownie. Safety first.
Okay, Bryson, we're ready whenever Taylor is.
We will, I will, in all seriousness, it has been a long time since I've been in a dark
place, but I will, when Taylor's recovering, we'll pull up the upliftwad.com.
It's a great organization, great people behind it, great intentions.
I don't know if girls kill themselves, but I know boys do.
I never hear about, do girls kill themselves?
It's just boys, we're just-
All right, I'll do a five second-
I just tried to swallow a bunch of pills
and it never really worked.
Wait, do we know the workout?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
We have not announced the workout.
Oh yeah, sorry, the workout.
Ladies and gentlemen, 100 calorie row, wow.
100 quality dumbbell snatches, 100 toes to bar, 100 burpees, wow. 100 qualified. 100 alternating dumbbell snatches,
100 toes to bar, 100 burpees over the rower.
We will be here 30 minutes
and there will not be time to take any calls.
One call, make it a good one.
This is, I think John said he did this workout in 24 minutes.
Is that how long this is gonna take?
Caleb, are you ready with the clock?
It looks like a partner workout to me.
Yep.
Yeah, it does look like a partner workout.
Going in five, four, three, two, one.
I'm not liking, I'm not liking his body language.
1836.
That's what I'm going to save us.
He seems nervous.
And he's off.
If you're on Instagram, head on over right now to YouTube kill Taylor is live. Oh
Good job, Susan. Oh, did you do the Instagram live thing? Yeah, you guys can't see my phone
But I'm uh, I'm pointing it out the screen boy. The viewership is great today
It's insane this time in the morning. Hey, I promise we're gonna talk about the games. Oh
Yeah
going to talk about the games.
Oh, yeah.
John Wooley will be on later today to talk about the Lazar Dukes.
Experts.
You got now somebody else that's going to change their opinion.
Yes.
Uh, Bryson Swann in a lake.
So he's an expert.
Oh, there you go.
He knows exactly what's going on.
Yeah.
Right.
How are we all?
I took a bath once.
Oh, hi.
I forget how I do this. I have to copy the link
Uh, it's been so long. Yes, it's experts. I copy the link. Oh, yeah
Bryson can we get updates on like every
25 calories
every five
25 or five it's up to you
Okay, i'll go let's go every 25. five. It's up to you. Okay, I'll go. Let's go every 25.
Yeah, that's better.
I need to know every calorie that clicks over, dude.
If you would like to see, I don't think we'll get one call today.
Do you think we'll get one call today?
We'll get one. We'll get one.
Really? We're gonna, you think someone's gonna try to do this?
And then what are we gonna do? We're gonna kick them off if they like don't get off. If you're gonna beat his rower time, if you don't beat his rower time, okay.
Yeah, you can't row fast enough. You're fucked. Okay. I think it's the only way we can get through volume.
Oh, this is a great comment. Is swimming also canceled on KillTaylor?
Dustin Weber.
Geez, Dustin. Have a little respect. Yeah, too soon.
It's not that kind of show yeah safety first
we're not affiliated with CrossFit he just passed 40 he's pulling like 1300 this is not
a CrossFit sanctioned event no unsanctioned man i'm gonna do a show later. So later on today the UFC's on guys and
So I need to like work out and watch that and I need to hang out with my kids today
Andy always stands there like he's about to fuck somebody up. Oh, he looks tiny. He looks like he's been shrunk
Doesn't Andy look like a little mentor version of himself?
Bike race, he probably lost weight. No, I just mean he only looks like he's six inches tall. Oh, yeah.
He liked something crazy at the games in the Concept2 tip.
Or, well, at their booth. Was it Concept2? Yeah, it was Concept2.
He'd just sit there and bike the whole time I would do rounds,
and he was still there biking like every time.
Oh my God.
Kristen Beasfield, Lizzie is so sweet
I heard I heard when her and Taylor are having sex her go-to line is hurry up
Surely far by is it over yet?
Right faster for time we gotta be over half. I bet we're on 60 now I
Will be doing a show sometime before the UFC fight tonight.
It's called a live call-in show for idiots.
So it's going to be a show only for dummies.
You're welcome to come watch me talk to the dummies.
I'm going to do a show where I just explain things to morons.
Small picture morons.
People who have the perspective of the world of a snail.
Look around. small picture morons people who have the perspective of the world of a snail that just
Look around this round
Bryson how are you doing? How's your mental health?
My mental health is pretty good, okay
Then then you don't need the server up uplift wad.com. You need to be raising money for uplift wad com. Right. Maybe I need to make an Instagram post about it though.
Hey, how come they have a hyphen in there? You know, I hate that hyphen.
They probably have Taylor's flying. He's holding 21 calories per minute.
I wrote 21 calories once.
In two minutes.
It was real dark.
In person, he uses a gem on the internet.
He's a piece of coal.
He's at 90 91.
Nice.
Okay.
So what's the at four or something?
So the people don't make the hundred cows.
Are we just dropping them off top?
Is that a real dog or does it just sit there and pant?
Oh no, that's a real dog.
Yeah.
If you don't make it in this calorie time,
you don't have a chance.
It's an augment in reality.
It's an overlay.
Ladies and gentlemen, take your level one,
get your affiliate and a dog now.
442.
442 off the row or Taylor self.
Into the dumbbell.
Wow.
I don't know.
He doesn't look motivated.
I mean, he's moving good.
Well, it's cause we always see him do.
And you get one old man also.
You always see him do a five minute workout or something like that.
We've never seen him do anything like a 20 minute workout.
So he's going to move a lot more methodically
What were the people with the buckets uh who are walking up in the beginning of the show did we clean us?
Don't ask about that
Don't have don't tell
Oh, she's picking up a poop now the buckets went for the poop. Wow
I hope she throws that at taylor. That would be amazing. Oh's one of those poops that's all fucking meshed in the grass.
Oh, I hate those guys.
No, it's the worst.
Yes.
Geez.
This is...
It's a good dog owner though.
At least some amazing content.
Thank you.
I have never and will never pick up dog shit.
What?
My dad's like that.
Would you bury it?
My dad's like, why don't you bury it?
I'm like...
I've never had dogs in town.
Yeah, my dad's like, bury't you bury it? I'm like I've never had Yeah, my dad's like
My dad's my dad's old country. He'll bury old food in the backyard
You know what I mean? Like a moldy loaf of bread. He won't throw it away. He'll go in the backyard and bury it
I'm like what is going on here?
Little popsicle stick over all the breads
Andy doing a hill walk almost gets run over by a
affiliate participant doing a workout
Hey, look at those old-school parallel bars on the ramp
Yeah, oh yeah, that's like a really nice deal I wonder how much speed you catch doing down downhill like that. Right. Oh, future CrossFit Games event.
Mm. Downhill parallel bars and then battle get past the PFA. Right. Right. How many dumbasses has he done? One million. He's probably around 50 something. I'm just glad we're up this early with this exciting workout to watch personally.
Oh yeah, this is great.
I can't think of anything more exciting.
So glad we got a 20 minute workout today.
We already talked about that.
This is a qualifier for crash.
Crucible.
No, we know.
Well, Caleb like mentioned it.
So crash crucible.
Thank you, Susan crash crash crucible qualifier.
The biggest, funnest, best
broadcast event in the CrossFit space
will be in October.
I want to say October 11 to the 13th.
The qualifier has started now.
If you are you can get an invite,
but you have to be better than Bryson Del Monte. Marginally.
And if you're not better than Bryson, then you have to enter the qualifier and try to
qualify yourself.
If you want camera time on your show, it's probably the best way to try to get some.
Do you think JR would accept somebody's video if they did it on here?
Oh yeah. Flexible. somebody's video if they did it on here.
Like,
yeah, flexible. That's great.
That's the great thing about that program.
It's very flexible with its video submissions.
If not, we just put a lot of peer pressure on them until they did.
Yeah.
You know, just mob them.
Caleb, are you going to go over the words?
It's 5 PM in Dubai.
This, the, the covered women are going to bed and the strippers are coming out.
Strippers are coming out.
Welcome to Dubai.
Honored.
Oh, there we go.
You don't want none.
If you guys aren't your regular gym, please do not drop your dumb.
So many affiliate owners just went, what the hell?
Do not drop that dumbbell.
That's on behalf of what's your program called on schools?
What?
What's your program called on schools, Sousa?
The affiliate forum?
The affiliate forum at schools.com.
There's valuable advice in there, like don't drop your dumbbell at the affiliate.
That's right.
There's a video of me doing it in slow motion and then it cuts me so doing this. Hmm. Oh, we got some beaver on the ramp. That is a child. Oh, that was no,
no, everyone looks like everyone looks like a child on the ramp. Even Andy looked like a child.
Hey, that was a bear. That was barefoot beaver. That was right up my alley.
Andy looked like a child on that.
Hey, that was a bear.
That was barefoot beaver.
That was right up my alley.
Canola.
So just for normal people doing this workout, it's only like nine minutes and 19 seconds in, and most would still be on that, on that halfway through the
dumbbells.
I think he's like 10, nine, eight.
Oh, we have another dog.
Wow.
Wow.
Look at that majestic creature
You will not get you will not get a retriever unless it has a broken like oh, it's another fat dog
These are waddling dogs. So why is an old dog? Oh
Look at that
This was a good play he knew was gonna be long so we just packed the place with fucking dogs. So pay attention. Yeah
Perfect. Let's say with workouts over ten minutes. Let's have a girl within a bikini walking around serving drinks
Look at this chick still has her backpack from the moon land. He's doing
What are we under some sort of awning or something, you know
This this you guys are actually staring at a replica of the first cross mid-jib in san francisco
It looks like it. It isn't it now. They just threw some tarps over it. It's a open drug camp, but before
Okay, buddy. How are you with your wrist traps? Welcome to the club?
Who are these people look, uh, oh taylor's watching people work out or something
Who are these people coming up and down the ramp? Where are we at? Right? Cross with Charlotte. Isn't it?
We're outside the gym. No, I mean, what's the rep count?
Oh, five. Yeah.
Is that a two bucket next to him?
54, 54, 54. He's got to do a hundred. Yeah.
You ever seen anyone in the talk bucket dude
yeah someone just left it in there the other day and I went to chalk up and it
was just all yellow and green at the bottom I'm not even kidding they just
left oh yeah Suza what is the preference if someone is gonna puke would rather
they puke on the ground or puke in the chalk bucket?
I run outside.
Don't puke in my bathroom.
No, you have to choose between the two.
Chalk bucket.
Waste all that chalk.
Chalks expensive, man.
Hey dude, in 2020, the name was saved.
We put chalk away.
Now I sell that shit.
You buy your own bag, go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
We ain't spreading COVID.
Yeah.
Did you see Fauci has six Fauci has the shot and five boosters and he has COVID now
Wow, I think it worked
No, I'm I'm I'm no scientist
Well, it would be much worse it would have been much worse if he wouldn't have got the six boosters I'm as if he didn't have it. Yeah, it would have been it would have worked had it
Not been for people like me. Sorry. Sorry for us. She
my burger and fries
Does your gym really not provide chalk you got to bring your own she's a
Now we provide it. He's gonna buy it. Oh
Now there's a couple buckets. There's a couple buckets for 80
You just gotta buy it. Oh, no, there's a couple buckets. There's a couple buckets floating around 80
What does he have left the burpees now, yeah, I wonder how many he can hold a minute I've never done burpees over a rower
Hopefully you should want to dangerous
Seems very dangerous. I'm surprised adjustments haven't been made to this workout already. Do you have a rower? I do have a rower.
Should practice.
I should.
I used to roll a lot. I stopped rolling.
I don't know why.
You should pick up that new rower from, uh, from rogue.
You have the echo rower.
I DM pre-release.
Yeah.
Is that real?
Yeah, it is.
I DMed Katie Henniger about it and asking when it's going to come out.
And I got a response and she said, soon. Period.
You just put an echo sticker on the, on the concept to rower.
For some reason, I thought you were going to say, go fuck yourself.
The way you line that up.
Soon.
I honestly, I would have appreciated that too, but any response from Katie.
Yeah.
True.
See, how does she have the time to respond to her DMS? How does she have the time to respond to her DMS?
How does she have the time to respond to me? Period.
Fucking me. 1316.
1316. Thank you. All right.
I walk up. Oh, come on.
What is this? A little Steppy Step.
Hey, step.
And I remember that someone in did you have a winner for the heat?
Heat, heat one WOD app. He won app. So that was, yeah, it
depends on which league you're talking about. But so we
donated the money to Lazar's family. I'm sorry. Yeah, me too.
But it was pretty cool and it ended up working out because a
12 year old one. Oh, doesn 12 year old doesn't deserve money.
His handle was one, two, three, four or five.
I don't know what the like the legalities are around giving a 12 year old
$10,000 boy, 18 year old or boy.
I was like, oh man, we didn't think about this.
A 12 year old beat John Young and all the other pundits.
Wow. Yeah. Damn.
So we're going to get a permission slip for him to come on the show and actually tell us what's going on.
I want to send his dad.
His dad reached out and was like, hey, just so you know, like a 12 year old beat all you all.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's awesome.
Oh, gosh.
He's probably spent a lot of Fortnite tokens or something, right?
Oh, yeah.
It's really good that that didn't happen. God's probably, yeah. I'm Fortnite tokens or something, right? Oh yeah.
It's really good that that didn't happen.
God, we are good.
This is the fastest 20 minutes in my entire life.
I can't believe how good the show is.
Just flown by.
Just flown by.
I want to figure out some way to get him something in the future.
Like like a like a beanie baby or something or stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah kids are totally into beanie babies these days
He'd send us a to barbell
Carol H dang if if you'd given it to second place, it would be me
Your chances anybody true Carol that hat on your head says otherwise you seem like a liar to me
I don't believe you.
Dan, if I were one of the top three games athletes, I would call
in just to have fun and mess with Taylor.
Now you wouldn't, Dan.
You'd be on your internet sulking.
You need change.
Yeah.
You'd be taking pictures of your ass and scrolling through TikTok.
Oh, just selling meals for trifecta.
Just a carol.
Is it? Oh, it was chill.
Wow. OK.
All right. Oh, look, it's chill.
I take it all back.
Great is Tucker.
The fucker came in third.
Wow. Wow.
Oh, my God, bro.
I'll do the fucker. We should have sold ad space during this workout. We could have played at least three or four
Yeah, fellow retard recognizes his people Dan Guerrero. You guys sound retarded. Oh great. Just turn off the volume day and it helps
Dan I'm gonna check that in the pile of all your other great comments
Check that in the pile of all your other great comments
You're real fun at parties, huh Dan
Heidi has an ad for us
I'd love to see that ad She's actually the demonstrator of the exerciser. She shows you how to put it on. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's awesome
If that were true, we'd sell a lot more
True it is. Have you watched the demo video?
Where we at Bryson?
Bryson doesn't fucking know.
Uh 60.
He made that up.
60.
No way bro.
It was a round number too.
You should have said 61.
I would have believed you.
Ah.
How are the burpees on the raw concrete?
That's a good point Vicky.
Burpees on raw concrete. That's got to be painful.icky. Burpees on raw concrete, that's gotta be painful.
God, she was-
He was gonna do it on the mats,
but he didn't wanna slip at all.
Is his helmet shaped from that?
Safety.
If his helmet's touched the concrete.
He's wearing the top concrete.
He's wearing the top.
He's wearing the exercise right now, actually.
Are these burpees legit?
Yeah, I think it's any way over the rower.
Yeah. Yeah, it's kinda bullshit. I don't know. I kind of like
There you go. He's getting a hop in there. He's turning it up turnt
I just recovered those like those first at 900 of them. I said 1836. It's gonna be close
$500 from uplift and you could donate it right back unless you're a scumbag
And you could donate it right back unless you're a scumbag
Taking $500 away from trying to save someone's life who's in the office? I don't see that on Lazarus go fund me. You're fucking dead to me
Jesus oh my god someone donated a hundred bucks and wrote that is that true you're dead to me. Oh
Wow Wow. That's crazy. I'm only talking like business. 90? Guys, my voice, if you guys are gonna make inappropriate jokes, okay?
I agree.
That's Suza.
Can't laugh.
Every show has filler episodes.
I think we found ours.
This is the-
Where are we at?
Oh, Jeff Dias Nelson doing the math.
The economist has weighed in the dollar per
minute earned for this workout.
If you win his low, what was the time finished?
Wow.
1830.
And what'd you get?
29.
Wow.
I think John Young got 20 for something.
I said 1836.
I was five seconds off.
Damn expert, expert.
Wow. Expert. That 12 year old guest that exactly
does. He guessed that.97. Great point Chris Beasley. Uplift Watt is giving away 500, giving
you 500 reasons to stay alive. Oh look she's concerned. Oh she's got a bucket. Wow. Wow.
Bring it to him. Bring. Oh. And those buckets. Oh, water. Blue. Oh, yeah. There must be a balloon fight today. That's what all the buckets are for.
Oh, he almost drowned. We need a lifeguard. Oh,
it's field day at the gym. Field day. Field day. That will be your episode of KillTaylor. Thank you for joining.
Field is dead.
Next week's prize will be a thousand dollars.
No, don't turn the hose on.
It would be hilarious if she just stood five feet in front of him and just.
Oh shit.
That's why they're cleaning up the poop.
What is going on? People up and down the ramp ramp a hose through the workout while time over here?
Oh, yeah, he handled a long hose bro. Someone threw a water balloon at fucking the participant
Bryson what's what are the field day activities fat dog in there?
Like a water balloon fight, I think
partner race where you like hold someone's
legs maybe.
Is it celebration of life day at fucking CrossFit Charlotte?
Yeah, but every day is.
When you're celebrating life, you do CrossFit workouts.
Way to turn that around.
All right.
Yeah, nice.
But it's not doing CrossFit workouts.
If there's not pizza, the party's lame.
No pizza, only Whole Foods here.
Stupid party. Stupid party.
She came down with a rag.
For Taylor. I wonder what he's wiping up.
His mouth.
If you would like a chance.
Oh. Oh, okay. Shit. We have a participant.
Yes!
I thought we were going for lowest number of participants this week.
Hey, oh, look at this. They're set up for field day.
This is the type of gym you want to go to.
If your gym isn't doing events, just fucking leave.
What did John 24?
Yeah, John Young got 24.
Andy Handel, fine noble shot on Lauren is to count.
So I'm going to. Saturday. The noble shot on, lowering his tee count.
The time to beat 1829. He got off the road at 442.
He got off the dumbbell snatches at 816.
He got off toes bar at 1316 and finished workout at 1829.
This is the workout for crash crucible qualifier
which is in effect now. Look that Rottweiler peed. The workout is 100 calories on the rower, 100
alternating dumbbell snatches, 100 toes to bar bar 100 burpee over the rower
If you are a girl and you enter we'll give you a little leeway on the road time before we kick you off
But you better be ahead of Taylor after the dumbbell snatches or your toast. Oh, that's a good if that's for vaginas
Mmm a girl can't win this
Wow, Tyler Wow
Sorry, dude, are we will be doing a tangerine show later today. This is our misogynist show
Use that word since I've learned it miss Andri miss Andri Sanjee
It's it's it's one chicks. It's like when you hate someone because they have a penis.
They have Teslas in the south?
Dislike or contempt for or ingrained prejudice against men.
Miss Andree.
Is that a Tesla back there? I didn't know they had electric cars in the south.
Did you just steal my joke?
Oh, you said that?
Well, it's completely diesel.
Wow. I'll flip.com if you need a ear to someone to listen to you because clearly
know what on this show does.
Oh, thank you.
Oh yeah.
Can you pull up the uplift website?
Yeah.
Oh, I thought those were pubes.
That was Bryson's mustache.
I thought that nose was a small penis and some pubes uplift others.
Love yourself.
And all seriousness, I know young men go to a dark place.
I don't know if old men do.
I don't have time to go to a dark place, but awareness for those who feel the world doesn't need them.
It's up to us to let them know we can't live without them.
I didn't want it off myself because I didn't think the world needed me.
I think you can use their services, by the way, even if you think the world...
Like, I thought the world loved me
I just, I just is done with the world. So for whatever reason you want to leave planet earth early, Uplift is your place
to keep you here. Uplift is a yearly wad that strives to raise up CrossFit community
so those who have lost, those who have survived, and those who want to support can have an outlet to come together.
There's some people working out to raise money for
people who want to kill themselves. Our mission is to show every individual you are loved, valued, and supported.
Through the world of CrossFit,
we aim to raise awareness about suicide, eliminate stigma, and foster a compassionate community that empowers individuals to seek help and find hope.
Together, we work towards a future where every life is cherished and no one feels alone
in their journey toward mental well-being.
I didn't feel alone.
So even if you're just thinking about getting off the earth,
that's how they say it in the hood, earth.
What's it out?
It's so wild to think of.
The world does need me,
but I don't know if I want to be around these people.
Yeah, it was kind of like that. That's where I was at.
That's how a narcissist kills himself.
Well, it's not all about you, Sevan. I know, but I didn't know that.
I still don't know that. Well, I guess it's about me and my kids now.
That jury's still out on that one.
Mark Moss, great guy. By the way. That jury's still out on that one.
No, yeah.
Mark Moss, great guy.
By the way, my uplift shirt is cooler than that one.
I got a camo one that's pretty dope.
I should have worn it today.
Oh, that is cool.
It's one of the few shirts I've worn.
Actually, when he told me he was gonna send me a shirt,
I avoided giving him my address for a long time.
And then he sent it.
It's actually a really cool shirt.
So, in depth of personal tragedy, some individuals find the strength to transform their pain
into a powerful force for change.
CrossFit athletes.
And that's exactly what Mark did.
His world was shaken when he lost his beloved grandfather to the silent battle of mental
health, succumbing to the shadows of suicide.
Mark embarked on a journey of healing and advocacy that would redefine the trajectory of his life.
Fueled by the desire to break the silence
surrounding mental health struggles,
he harnessed the energy of his grief
and channeled it into the idea he thought
only his buddies would be a part of.
A workout, oh, that's cool.
A workout initiative aimed at bringing
the CrossFit community together and shining a light
on the struggles of mental health and suicide.
This is a story of one man's poignant response to loss,
a testament to the transformative power of turning pain into purpose. You know who you are. Join us as
we come together to work out and uplift others and love ourselves. That's awesome. Suicide is funny.
Jesus.
Everything is funny.
On this show it is. Clearly the comedy show.
While we are waiting for... oh there's Renee.
There you are.
They're waiting on us.
What's up Renee?
Yo!
You're not the Renee I expected.
Oh that's not good.
I thought you would have titties. When I hear Rene, I think titties.
Yeah.
I get that a lot.
That's amazing.
Look at your gym, dude. That thing is dope.
Did you clean it up just for us?
Dude, what are those?
I do clean it up daily, but...
Are those shorts 4-incham or two inch?
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nice quads.
I'm just admiring how evenly all the bands are hung in the right place.
Yeah.
Why?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's a good answer.
Otherwise I thought you were going to be a serial killer.
And I was like, this is the wrong show for you, dude. This is the wrong sponsor. We can't.
Nah, yeah, I got the 4GHD right here, a little bike, another bike is here.
Oh, I definitely could see this. It didn't just get really dizzy.
Hey, did you have a wife?
Yeah.
Can you each have your own car?
Yeah.
Middle class. I like it. All right. Middle class.
All right. We're ready when you are buddy let's hit this
um 442 for the time for the rower uh when do you want us to kick you off yeah you want to kick me
out i have the rower set to 100 cows so i don't know how you want to see it but just go we trust
we trust you but go hard so we don't have to kick you off yeah just go hard send it in these first
hundred so you could be the only one that makes it past the cows.
Yeah.
Okay.
He looks at the, uh,
and whatever you do, uh, um, remember if after this, after we kick you off, you
feel bad uplift a wad.com has resources for you.
Don't do anything.
Um, you know, don't start the car and run a, uh, hose into the garage.
Hey, did you check the, how far away that rower is?
If the PAA set that up, you're going to hit your head on that rig for sure.
Does that read say meet safety regulations?
Oh, okay.
Barely tight, man.
Okay.
Caleb want to give him a countdown?
Yes.
Ready?
Three, two, one, go.
I hear a bird. Taylor, what's up, buddy? Taylor, what's up? I'm here for you.
What's up, buddy?
This is Renee. He is six months post-op.
She is six months post-op.
Six months postpartum? She, I mean she's six months post-op. Six months postpartum?
Yeah, that too.
Sure.
Post-op and partum.
Did you just miss Jen?
I told Dallen yesterday on Peter's show, he's like, all through Kill Terrell, I was like,
this isn't a workout that you probably want to say, hey, I'm going to jump back into it with this one today.
No.
Hey, you were flying. You were flying. You looked really
controlled and steady. I felt like I felt like I went a little too slow on the toes to bar. I
wasn't sure how they would make the burpees feel, but they didn't really mess with. Oh yeah,
Dallin didn't say he would do it. He just said he would eventually do kill Taylor, but he wasn't
working out this week because he hasn't got the amount of games athletes I've heard say they're going to do the show.
It's like crime.
And he, what are you waiting for the games to be canceled?
Yeah.
Is this the only one John has actually done?
We're there to be the only source of income for crossing games athletes.
Hey, Hey, that's not out of the realm of possibility.
Your money than the games to be honest.
That's right. Out of the realm of boss so far.
If you did 52 weeks, what's 52 tons 500?
Sousa quick quick 25,000.
Wow.
Well, then maybe not down made a look at Dalin flex it over here.
Okay, we get it.
I need 500.
Hey, dude, you could get in.
Donate it to me.
I will gladly take it.
Have you seen here's the thing?
Here's the thing. 68% of down downs prize purse went to the Mormon Church. So it's not like he's gonna get
Hey
By the way, we didn't crack any jokes while you worked out
We took a long moment of silence for all the people who were upset that the Tribute to Lazar wasn't long enough. So we just did a oh my god stop
Too late
Good thing you weren't here for a while. Hey, how mad were you and you saw this workout was going longer than 15 minutes
I hate I hated you for that yesterday when I saw it. I
Was right along with my wake up call.
224 is at the halfway point on the rower.
Rene Rene getting at it in his garage.
Very clean garage.
Very clean garage.
Very good.
I wish they could.
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Well, no, that's okay.
That's okay.
That's all right.
Can we actually get you to switch out?
Hey, girl.
Yeah, please.
It's live.
Oh, you're a woman?
Please don't.
Not the young one, the mom.
Not the young one.
Thank you.
Hey, I know how she got pregnant.
Oh, please.
Oh my God.
I like how little kids always,
when they see a camera,
they just like, all right.
I'm receiving it. You're gonna get me in trouble, bro. Listen, Hotchick walks in with the kid it all makes sense it's it
all in maths it maths check this out somebody commented on that workout on
Jared's Instagram was like hey so anyway over the rower does that mean we can
step over the rower and I commented I was like yeah if you want to take last
place and then I was warming up and I'm like yeah I'm gonna step over the rower.
It was solid dude it was solid your time was great. It looked hella gay though.
Wow that is a 9 a.m mom 100%. Yeah god 9 a.m moms dude. Oh yeah. I was at the beach I don't know
about a year ago and there's this guy laying out at the top of the beach at the top of the stairs And he's like six foot three and he's just a fucking stud
Completely ripped chiseled fucking dude. You know what?
I mean looked like Jared Ellis like the guy I had on the preacher I had on just muscles everywhere
And my and my wife goes, oh that guy's in my CrossFit class. And I'm like, in your CrossFit class?
She goes, yeah, I'm like, I thought you told me
that your CrossFit class was all just moms,
the 9 a.m. class.
She goes, yeah, and that guy.
Oh my God.
It's gonna take this guy 30 minutes.
Hey, check this out.
Jake Chapman wants to know, hey, Suza,
have you washed your finger since the game?
Who are you finger blasting at the game?
Not even close.
Keep it back. Oh, we know. finger blast. Not even close.
I would step over the row if it
was me. Wow. He beat Taylor.
Renee let's go. Let's go. We
can't even see the dumbbell. That's why it's harder to see the road either. But we're going the Way to go Renee for just sending it. Go. Oh yeah, dude. Yeah, that was good.
Now let your boyfriend's butt crack on your mustache.
Renee's been growing that mustache since he's been seven.
That's just your standard fucking-
It looks like one of those, it looks like one of Hispanic kids in seventh grade that has full facial hair.
And I'm still like, I can't even come yet.
Let's go Renee. Let's go, dude.
I did hit puberty when I was like maybe 20.
Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. You're still on pace.
Yep. You're still doing it. Yeah, buddy.
He's like, dude, kick me off, please.
Yeah. Anything.
Okay, we got to go. Let's go out to the jeep.
Sorry, guys. One second.
Bruno Mars, gayer brother. I see it. I see it.
Okay.
I see it.
Oh, pick it up. Pick it up. Hey, dude. He said it on that row. That was good. Yeah.
Two and a half minutes to suffer. Nothing to be ashamed
about. See how close you can get. Renee accidentally
dropping on your head and faked an injury.
$500 brought to you today from uplift, www uplift hyphen wad.com.
I bet you if you just put in uplift wad.com, Google gets you there.
I'm going to be in so much trouble.
I didn't realize there was a kid out front and I was saying all sorts of bad shit.
And then I turned around and there's like an 11 year old in there.
Well now he graduated now he's at the end of like a 15 year old.
Come on Renee!
Let's go buddy!
You don't know what number he's at?
Does Renee know what number he's at?
You know what number you're at?
No.
He doesn't know.
Where you at Ray?
Oh he quit!
Oh he quit!
Oh he quit!
Oh he quit!
Oh he quit! Oh he quit! Oh he quit! Oh he quit! Oh he quit! Let's boot him. He's just going, he's just going. Great job, great job buddy.
Do we have anybody else in the way?
Is that Will Brandstetter?
Yeah it is.
Wow.
Where's Will Brandstetter?
He's on screen, big screen right now.
There he is.
Big Will it?
Oh shit, I'm in the camera.
Yeah you are.
Hey what's that hose on the-
It's a cord, it's the wire for the...
That's the HDMI cord.
Oh, that's how he does the internet?
They don't do the internet there.
Alright, well, Rene gave it a shot.
Does anyone else want a shot at the 500 bucks?
Come on, you better do it.
We got up too early. I got up at 5 15 AM for this show today.
Oh, I got up at 5 30..m. For this show today. Oh
Look at about 5 30 Wow quitting is so on brand right now Wow
Hey listen Taylor can't even handle those jokes
Isn't it interesting that the fucking hardest guy turns into the biggest pussy during times like this? I love it. I really enjoy it
Really enjoying it Just make us make fun of something he loves.
He'll flip real fast.
Hi, I'm Taylor self.
I'll gave your mom, but no dead jokes.
Hi.
Hi, I'm Taylor self.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi, I'm Taylor Self.
We like to have fun on this show guys, but remember, safety is no accident.
Yeah. Hi, I'm Taylor Self. I'll give your mom, your dad, your whole fucking family,
but no jokes around someone's death.
Oh my God.
All right.
Oh man.
Seve, how would you feel if that was you? I called Taylor yesterday. He's like, how would you feel if it was your family?
Okay, check this out. You know what it looks like when you fold a sock and you turn it inside out and you have that little fold over?
Yeah, that's how my butthole looks when I sit like this.
I knew this was going right to the hole.
Wow.
I'll talk about Gabe being your brother, but that's it. That's I got a
line right there. Prize pots at 1,000 my goal for the week's accomplished. Yeah
Taylor doing doing it for the show. Yeah definitely just keep doing 15-20 minute
workouts. It's the workouts nobody wants to do. Oh here we go. Is this Mrs. Mertens? Who's this? the What's up, what's up nothing what's your name? De Broda Dakota, but yeah, De Broda
Let's see the let's see the facility my friend, let us see I'm in the basement gym looking good
Wow. In a dog!
On brand.
Two dogs.
Hey, is that dog on the right blind?
He looks like one of those dogs that can't hear or see.
Let me see that dog.
He's just standing there like, uh oh.
Let me see that dog like you.
He's a specialist.
It's Noah Olson on the show today, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. I needed a workout, so I thought I'd give it a shot.
Oh, there you go.
100,000 time.
If you don't do what Renee did
and try to just beat the row, you're off the show.
Yeah, come on, beat the row.
Beat the row.
You gotta set it up here.
Hey, you're gonna love this.
Bryson was doing this workout.
Can we spin that camera?
The next day morning, I came in at like eight 30 to go to nine AM class.
Bryson had just started this.
Perfect.
We're going in the workout.
Yeah.
So, uh, Andy's freaking out cause there's all these people signed in for the
workout and, uh, and on camera, me and Andy get into a massive argument.
Not really that massive, but we're yelling at each other right in front of
Bryson during the workout and you can just see the moment that I yell at Andy
and Bryson drops the dumbbell and he just quits.
Oh damn.
Yeah, I felt so bad.
I was like, I felt so bad because I didn't know he was doing the workout until I came
in and then Andy walks in front of his camera.
I start yelling at Andy and then it just all went downhill.
You yelled at grandpa.
Well, yeah, we yelled at him.
Not yell.
It was like it's a healthy yell.
Ironically, the founder of Uplift,
his grandfather killed himself
after he yelled at him.
Oh, I'll just do this
and we'll slowly back out of that.
Alright.
Hey,
so can we see
all the movements you're going to do?
Let's guess you're going to make it past the dumbbell snatch.
Where are you going to do the toes to bar?
I got my rig right behind me there.
Okay, can you back the camera up so we can see everything?
I'm gonna say you're gonna make it to the toes to bar.
Dude, this is like my first open
when I had all the weight for the 210 snatch
and never hit one.
This was like when Noah's dad had a baby.
Well, he's really hitting the promise.
Okay, let's make sure he measures out
the ways that dumbbell for us
what did you say taylor i said he looks like if noah and pat had sex is what would come out
oh wow there you go there you go look at that free camera lessons wow that's a shot. Okay, should we give you a countdown?
Yeah, please, one second.
The bro?
Hey, how tall are you?
Five, six.
No, maybe.
Oh, you're fucked, Taylor.
Scott Tetlow told me he was five, six, two.
Oh, please.
Oh, please.
Scott, I look down when I talk to Scott Tetlow,
it's weird.
It's so uncomfortable.
You ready, buddy?
Okay, let's go. Count them down, Caleb.
Hey, what's his name?
One, Dakota. Go.
100 calories on the rower, 100 alternating dumbbell snatches with the 50-pound dumbbell,
100 toes to bar, and then 100 burpees over the rower.
50 pound dumbbell, 100 toes to bar, and then 100 burpees over the rower. Excuse me.
Good fucking luck.
The time to beat is 1829.
It's world class.
It can't be beat, but it's still fun to watch the Broda Pat Velner and Noah Olsen's offspring.
Zero chance he gets off the road before five, 10.
That dog, that dog looks like it eats its own shit.
Oh, it does. Wow. Wow. Sorry, bro. Love your dog. You leave the dog out of it too far. Too far.
Ah, all right. So we can hear him rowing. That's exciting. He looks bummed out.
Dogs like, damn, they're just fucking, they wrecked me.
Use the barcode in the upper right hand corner to get 40% off of FIDAID.
Oh, I need a FIDAID BRB.
Yeah go get one.
Thanks Taylor.
But check it Taylor.
40% off, that's crazy.
Also if you would like to look like Taylor, act like Taylor, Sentinel Training 14 day
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It is growing fast. It will be capped at 12 million participants and they're getting there closely to join now
Hey one time I was on this mass I was on this like I was on this three-day
Backpacking trip through Linville Gorge
I had my dog with me and the food I brought was like tuna packets,
like a fuck ton of tuna packets and rice and like oats, like dried oats to make it like
a campfire and like a ton of trail mix and plenty of food. But I would like, you know,
I was feeding my dog three times a day and like a big meal and I guess she was still
like starving and we stopped at this river and took a huge shit. Then I jumped in the
river to like, you know, clean off and I look I look over my dogs got its face buried in shit.
In your shit it was eating your shit.
In my shit and so I yelled I'm freaking out I like put her in the fucking river wash her
off and then for like the next eight hour hike her fucking farts it was like triple
truffle shit stink dude it was like hers mine tyler's disgusting
i would make um i would i would make my dog fast for a month if it ate one of my shit
holy smokes that is that is horrible 222 he's halfway there
there. De Broda. Oh my gosh. That's one of the stories you don't care. Yeah, that one needs to stay with you, dog in the mountains. I mean, it's like I told her to. Hey, how
often do you shit outside, Taylor? Do you shit outside once a month? No, I shit outside
probably once a year. Unless I'm doing like a backpacking trip, then like three or five times a day.
Wow.
Well, he, his version of outside is different. They have an outhouse.
So I had these three great Danes and, um, every morning when the, uh, the alpha of
the group would take a piss, the other two would take turns drinking his piss as
it was coming out of his penis.
No, I'm serious.
Every morning. It was so weird. They'd
go over, they would follow him around the yard and he'd lift his leg up and he'd pee and they would
lap it. Oh is that true? Does Emily Abbott only shit outside? I bet she that's something she would do.
Wow. Sevan's dad shits outside and buries it.
Facts. That's true. That is true. Oh I just wish I had one picture of you with those three great days, Sevan.
Oh, I got one.
We got the funniest story ever.
Yes.
Better than that last one.
Way better.
Way better.
This one's actually funny.
Time to meet real quick.
4.42.
He's got one minute on the rower and then he's done.
Let's go, De Broda.
All right.
So check this out. So Lizzie's parents had this boathouse and you couldn't it's like on a private mountain lake. So you can't have like
Septic plumbing or anything like that to it. So they have these things called in Suna potties incinerator potties
Where you put a liner in the toilet you take a shit in it you hit the pedal
It dumps the shit into the incinerator then you hit the button and it burns it
So you married a rich girl you married a rich girl?
Yeah, I did so I was uh
I was staying we were staying in the boathouse one night
And I had to take the most massive crap ever like the liner of the toilet bowls like a gallon and I filled it like
Within an inch of the top. It was just like full. Holy would you have to please?
Yeah, it was like it was like a triple of Chipotle bowls massive
So I like closed the lid I hit the button to burn it and I go to bed
I wake up in the morning. I go in there to take a piss
I open the lid and my shit's still there some freaking out. I'm like, oh fuck. I broke the toilet
I broke the toilet. So I picked the liner of the bag up. How long you've been dating. How long had you been dating?
Oh, he's off the road 445
Here we go. How long did you date your Taylor? We were dead. We were maybe seven
months, eight months, maybe. Are you at the point where you
should with the door open yet? No, no, no. Wow. Wow. So I went
I went back into like the open area of the book house. I grabbed
two like grocery bags. I put the fucking bag of shit in one, double bag it, tie it up, and get this, her parents don't have
like trash cans out by the house, like trash cans of the city, because bears, and so I guess bears
would get at them. So there's a girl in certain parts of the story that aren't necessary, thank you.
There's only a trash can in the like kitchen part of the boathouse and in the kitchen of the
house.
So I'm like what am I going to do with this double bag full of a gallon of my shit.
You got a litter.
You're stressing me out Taylor you're stressing me out.
So I go into Lizzie's Jeep and I put it under the back seat and I didn't.
What do I do?
What do I do? What do I do?
The worst decision.
Let's go, you're gonna do it!
He's being motivated by this story.
And it was in the summer, so I guess we got in to leave and it just smelled like my shit for I've been cooking in there for two days.
Yeah, no shit, huh?
Yeah, she didn't fuck you for six months after that. That is disgusting.
Holy shit.
What did you do with the shit eventually shit what did you do with the shit eventually
what did you do with the shit eventually you stopped at a gas station like a dumpster on the
side of the road damn wow isn't that crazy i will say this or dakota this idiot him coming off
within three seconds of taylor might not work out for taylor because his cycle rate on this stuff is
going to be easier.
Tyler stop trying to make it interesting. It's not
he's gonna know it is he's on a roll dude. He's on a roll.
Dupin away short as shit.
He's in the fucking zone dude.
Yeah. And look at his moral support there fucking a dog
snatches a way slower than mine.
Hey that dog
that dog looks like it needs a lift.com.
He needs more support.
See even Heidi said on pace he's on pace.
Thank you Heidi.
Eight sixteens when he needs to come off.
I need Ryzen I don't know how to fix this.
The time to come off is eight sixteen.
Dakota is in the game.
We're trusting of these reps. Going for the 500 today.
You can use that to put a down payment on a teeny weenie from Colton Mertens.
Only $4,000 for fucking those tiny little dogs.
$4,000. That got oh, let's go
Smokes I just put my webcam, but I had to go all the way over to the left. It is crazy.
When it's in here, this is probably all the way to the left.
That guy's at that age, or those are the dogs he got when he was 20, when he needed uplift.
Instead of going to uplift, he got two dogs.
Yep, exactly.
Hey, this is actually a really impressive time.
Yes.
Let's, in all seriousness, that row, he made it in the time.
That was the first break we've seen him take since he got off the row
Well, let's go
Come on, you got a chance
Taylor got off at 8 16 8 16 only this and then 200 more reps
You got a chance hans I use my 500 for my dental appointment
my 500 from my dental appointment. You can buy two exercisers and have $100 for a car for box of condoms.
500 bucks. Good. Good question.
Condoms is free.
Oh, yeah, he's off pace now. Way off. Oh, wow. Hey, hey, he's
really gonna get me with this cycle rate, Tyler. You know, help. Edge your hand is falling
off of pace. So, you're bald. Couple shirt. I like it. Alright,
his back is blown out. Oh yeah, Dan Mihai, you think Hans is
beating me in this workout? You must be smoking crack and
pull. Hans is be smoking crack and pull
Hans is probably smoking crack and pull. Yeah
Listen Hans has no engine. He's a fucking one-trick pony
That's all I need to be on this show to get it once. Yeah
$500 send a text now. We'll send you a link you can come on
You can be after these dogs are like are like your great Danes, and I think this guy's like the alpha I think they're waiting for him to start
39 yeah, baby
Wow
Awesome, what's the time 939 you're a minute off you can catch him still
Just gotta go unbroken here. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. Let's go. De Broda. Look at De Broda. Look at De Broda's like. Oh my god.
Seventies. Is he? Say we crush this workout. Holy **** This is the worst
comment I've ever seen. What is it? I doubt it.
Don't pull it up if you know exactly what I'm looking at.
I don't.
Okay.
I would love to try this, read the names.
That's not that bad, we've said words already.
Is it this one?
No, it's this one.
What is the number?
Thank you, Sadie.
Wait, I don't get it.
Which one was it?
Can you say the full name for me?
No, no, no.
Even Taylor draws the line somewhere.
Listen, Taylor has all sorts of lines we've seen this week. Oh
Stop it. The only line I've got is off some dudes, but fucking
The time to beat is 1316 that's when Taylor got off the toes to bar the ball is Michael Rage is fast
Let's go to Broda at least he didn't he didn't he hasn't just like I'm gonna go fast.
Let's go.
Hey, at least he didn't.
He didn't.
He hasn't just like, can he John Young and bye bye.
He beat you.
John Young thinks he can comment and say that he beat me, but we heard his time yesterday
and it was about 10 minutes slower than mine. Yeah, 24 minutes.
24 minutes for John Young.
He said Sprague won by default and then he switched his position on that too, so it's
fair.
John Young, you stink.
Yeah, where is Matthew when you need him?
Yeah, you think Matthew's not beating me in this workout either.
Oh shit, I gotta text him back.
Your text buddies with Matthew now? Remember I was on the phone with you and he texted me and I just read it to you and I totally forgot to respond.
That's part of the deal.
He's beating a workout, he's stealing part of his powers.
Upliftwad.com is putting up the $500 today for the show.
Uplift is a foundation that raises money for people who are in a dark spot.
They said it's for only people who don't think they belong on, wait, for people who don't love
them. But even when I thought people loved me, I still wanted to kill myself. So I think it's for
all of them. I think they missed the mark there. Dakota Miller, thanks for letting me play you
bald fucker. All right. Thank you for calling in. Thank you for calling in Dakota. You're a good dude
De Broda, we got Renee down there too. Oh and Renee good. Oh, what's Renee Ortiz? You think that's that Renee?
Yes, okay. It's like a shitty Pat Velmer. I
Don't know. He's a pretty cool Pat Velmer. I like that guy Sarah was thick. It was thicker than
Look at Lizzy. They said Sadie N word. Look at Lizzie. Oh my God.
Lizzie look, I'm cool.
Look how funny they are.
My show's so funny, Lizzie.
Oh wow.
Okay, way to make everything just uncomfortable, bro.
That's this whole show.
You're the one to talk, bro.
Yeah.
You can use the resources at upliftwad.com
to organize an event at your gym to raise money to help people who want to off themselves, not off themselves.
Pretty noble enterprise. And it's just something that I think, I think it's something that just a lot of young men go through at some point in their life.
That's disgusting, Heidi. We didn't need to, we didn't need to hear that. We didn't need to know that. That's why I do missionary only.
You guys knew it was true.
Heidi, when I close my eyes, I just see that big fucking dude you brought to the BSI event
carrying you.
I just seem like having you up against a...
I mean, that dude was a hot...
That dude does not have sex laying down.
That dude was yoke.
That dude was huge.
That dude carries.
Yeah. Have sex laying down that dude is yoke that dude is huge that dude carries. Yeah
I just yeah, I just see your arms draped over his shoulder. Just fucking saying harder harder
That's how I came this morning yikes hey one time Angelina Jolie tried to hire a hitman
So she didn't have to take her own life. You know what happened what he said wait two months
Is that true? I was calling in I got got, I had field day. I got to go to, Oh, is that true?
Is that story about Jolie true? Hey, all they know is it was posted on the internet and
then I commented on it and it has over 1700 likes. Okay. They're taking all the jobs.
You only care about like Susaa. You're just one of those like people.
How do I get more subscribers?
It's the exact opposite for me. My dad's dead and my mom's the best parent.
Rip.
Rip, rip, right, rip.
All right, well, way to bring the mood up here.
Everyone gets one good parent.
Just one.
Right now? Is that one? Have you tried that trend? No. no cheerio action for me. Donuts one. It's not a cheerios donut.
Yeah, I've never even seen mine. I don't even know. It's about that big around. Fine. So
be it. Okay. $500 today. If you want, we'll take one more person if you want to try to get the mula.
Clearly this one was one that no one can do, no one wants to do.
Oh, anyone can do this workout.
Next week it'll be $1,000. My dad's dead too, join the club.
Oh.
Wow, shut up Heidi, it's only me, it's all about me.
Sevi is the DEI addition to this panel of bald white men.
True and Suza. Suza's Mexican right? No. Oh what's the name? Yes. I'm Latinx dude.
Yes. Okay where you from? Everything south of
San Diego is Mexican.
I'm from Fremont, dog.
Yeah.
And my dad took his own life, so I win.
I would too if I was hiding.
Oh, wow!
Is that too hard?
Oh, come on!
Way to make the line there.
Welcome to the Suicide Joke Show!
Way to make things comfortable, bro.
What's cool about suicide is no one's complaining about equity.
It's like, fair, it's all good.
It's all good, you guys are all...
We can all do it!
Get some black white and other!
I see Blade's got my back. Hey, play my sound over.
Oh, OK.
Jeez.
God damn, meat and fruit.
Oh, wait, here it comes.
Wait, that's how Taylor calls his dog. Oh wait here come wait here wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that wait that Here kitty kitty kitty. That's how Taylor calls his dog Look, not Taylor's dog. Did your dog just run in the room? Yeah. Yeah here she comes
Okay, I actually got to go I got to go play field day I'm gonna get in trouble
Okay. Hey, uh, thank you Taylor Taylor self. The show is over if anyone wants to I'm doing a show later on today
It's called a show for idiots. It's a live-callin show
It's for people who are dumb who need bigger picture things explained to them. It will be a short show probably like 30 minutes
I'll explain to you why so many of you in the comments are idiots
I'll be pulling up the comments and just fucking eviscerating you
I mean helping you guys work through some of these struggles in this time of trauma
and
Good night, and don't forget to watch the UFC tonight.
And then tomorrow morning, what is tomorrow? Sunday?
Yep.
Oh, nothing scheduled.
So live call-in show tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will get back to the usual scheduled shows
of just ass-pounding Kamala Harris.
Love you guys.
Tyler Wachtman, Zanki, C. Beaver, Matt Sousa.
Love you guys. Don't forget to sign up for C. Beaver, Matt Souza. Love you guys.
Don't forget to sign up for the Crash Crucible.
The qualifier has started.
Love you guys.
Bye bye.