The Sevan Podcast - KT Ep. 17 | $1000 Get Paid To Workout
Episode Date: August 25, 2024www.affiliatevideocontest.com If you own a gym fill this out!! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf_JOCxFimewumJyKi3mke6i1Y0gH3aOaSkv7oCykXH3sNRBw/viewform FITAID, 40% Off: https://www.lifeai...dbevco.com/fitaidrxz-sevanpod?utm_medium=pdcst&utm_source=sevanpod&utm_campaign=promo__pdcst-sevanpod-qr My Tooth Powder "Matoothian": https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-powder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS: Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Exit about that shit. I like dude. Yeah
Bam or live welcome to the show right below me Matt Suza the executive producer of the 7 podcast owner of CrossFit Livermore
Amongst other things and helped a lot of you numbnuts out that want to become affiliates
Andrew Hiller used to own an affiliate. He used to be a num nut not anymore
Now he makes videos has fun adds more energy to the community than anyone else so if it has a new video out
Completely absurd completely absurd
Completely absurd is most absurd work yet
Which part will be sending an apology letter to James Frigg?
Not really the cross the games champion I buy James sure sprague couch that's the difference between Andrew Hiller and I
And I'm also angry at Andrew because he's closer with Tyson Bajan than I am Tyler Watkins from the heat one app
Who gives money to charity?
Okay
I
Have some deep hidden anger and Tyler that needs to be worked out with my therapist
Oh, no in the center of the screen there. He is Taylor self the man himself
His very own sponsor for the shut
up and scribble show the biggest show on programming on the internet he their sponsor Patrick Mitrovich
he's putting up the 500 bucks this week so it's a thousand dollars for the winner a thousand
dollars State Farm Patrick Mitrovich South Carolina Carolina, North Carolina, and Georgia. And he even, the rumor has it that he also has all of the weenie dogs,
Colt Merton's weenie dogs insured in Iowa.
So he insures dogs in Iowa, but homes and cars and other assets in South Carolina,
North Carolina, and Georgia, the home of...
Fucking, I hope Donald Trump for fuck's sake
Dick Murtough. Thank you Logan for the couch. Thank you from dick Murtins. Thank you. Oh, yeah
Yesterday I want to tell you a real quick story before we start here. Oh and Lizzy's on the Lizzy
Oh, no shit. I got to tell you well
I'll tell you a quick story and then and then Hiller is gonna explain the workout Yesterday when I bought the couch someone goes Oh Sevan. He's so rich
Your response should be oh my god Sevan. He's so generous. I want to tell you a story about
Gabe from paper street coffee. I use my mortgage money once on this show to fucking buy
Tyson Bajan an iPad and a headset that cost 3,500 bucks and after the third like fuck I should have asked my wife because I used our mortgage money to buy it within 20 minutes
Gabe didn't even know this from paper street coffee. Gabe called me and goes. Hey, just so you know, I'll cover the cost of that fucking ipad
So call me crazy call call my life charmed call me having good friends like gabe but uh, and gabe didn't even get any credit for that
Hi, caleb me having good friends like Gabe but and Gabe didn't even get any credit for that. Hi Caleb.
Um, uh, yawn Clark, super sticker 499. Thank you for the couch. Holy shit. Okay, here we go.
Uh, go ahead. Uh, hillar, tell us about this workout. Listen carefully guys. This one's got some interesting shit in it. Listen carefully. Please. It is three separate two minute M reps on
running clock. So there were two, two to four, four to six. You started every one of those M reps on running clock so 0 to 2 to 4 or 4 to 6 you start every one of those M reps with 100 double unders
Those reps do count towards your total score
But they only count if I'm the first barbell which is 145 for the men 105 for the women you hit nine
Snatches on that second M rep you hit at minimum six snatches on that final one you hit at minimum three snatches
That is so that you can't game it
You got to do at least nine six and three on the requisite barbells. And then the
hundred double unders in each round do count towards your final score.
So you guys hear that? The first round you have to get at least nine snatches.
The second round you have to get at least six snatches. In the third round you
have to get at least three snatches. The reason he's doing that is so someone
doesn't game it and just go bonkers on the first round.
Yeah.
Bastard. All right. C.B just go bonkers on the first round. Yeah
All right, see beaver you ready on the clock?
Yeah, such an out. That's my clock Bryson del Monte is working today like a douche
Getting beat on this workout today. Oh, no way you're nope. Yeah. Nope. Yep
And Lizzie is there Lizzie, we are ready when you are. Perfect.
Taylor's going to start the clock.
And Caleb, can you see the 10 second countdown?
We got it.
Cool.
If you would like to compete against Taylor, send your text now.
I like how organized these bottles are.
It's very organized back wall.
What bottles? Really, all your wall. What ball? Oh yeah.
Really?
All your shot.
He get on the first round.
Look at what things hung.
All right.
He's ready now.
See beaver on the clock.
Yeah.
Undisclosed location.
On the first round.
Maybe maybe 17.
17 is what I'm saying.
There we go.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Yep. And we're off.
I think he goes 17, 14, 11.
There's no way he gets 14 on the second bar. Natalie for James Couch. Thank you.
My wife's going to be happy. I didn't spend the mortgage money again.
He's going to barely crest that six reps on the second bar like maybe 10. No, really think so
I think I wouldn't have said it if I didn't is he he's wearing CEO socks
He can't be beaten born primitive. The outfit today is CEO socks from vindicate
one primitive shoes from born primitive I
Don't know who makes the shorts
He's gonna come off it. He doesn't do a hundred double under
I don't know who makes the shorts and he's gonna come off it. He doesn't do 100 double unders
He could trip that's a good point and that's your outfit of the day with saffron
Thank you You know taylor doesn't wear a belt very often from what i've seen
Only when he wants to get 12 snatches on the second bar. Do you wear a?
Okay, we're all built on second, 5756.
There's one.
I would have gotten tough.
There's two that you would have gone touch and go.
For sure.
Andrew Hiller, Kevin Doyle gave five euros for the fittest man on our
scouch. Oh, I like that.
I see what you did there.
You do, huh?
He's got five
Six
So he doesn't get any break. He's got to just go back and pick up those. Yeah
It's not gonna get fucking 12 13 14. You're wrong. He'll err
There's eight. Oh, Natalie also just went to TDC Merchant Pile and bought Dave's Chili olive oil.
Wow. That's really good.
There's ten. He needs that.
Get ahead of this round, you idiots.
Out of space pacing.
Storm Williams, is this similar to a master's workout? Good question. Remember that Storm will ask him when he's around.
There's twelve.
I haven't seen anything about the masters on the crossfit game.
Thirteen. Dan. Thirteen on his first one. the Lizzy wheeling in the bar safety first. This is PFA approved workout.
Yeah.
On the screen.
What is that?
She wasn't wearing knee pads.
She would have had knee pads for it to be PFA approved.
Uh, yeah.
And Taylor doesn't have a helmet on.
You're so screwed.
Have you seen it every event at every CrossFit event, there's always someone
wheeling out a 300 pound, uh, bar.
That's so fat that their
fingers can barely touch it.
And so the bar always looks like it's going to escape from them.
And I'm like, that's always the most unsafe thing I see at every event.
It's crazy.
I see it at every event.
And one time in Carson, I saw the bar get away from a fat person.
It was not there.
It's that slight downhill.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Downhill.
Like 57.
Let's go Taylor. Second round. How much did here we go once one seventy five. That's one out of his twelve
11 I
Read the PFA
You want to move the barbells around it says you it says what on the PFA ruling there's a weight limit
Oh as a competitor to you can't be over 225.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The PFA said that the rings can't support people who
weigh more than that safely.
That's exercising, casting couch fun.
499. Thank you, Matt Reynolds. My wife.
Thanks you too.
There's three adjust
every year to what patch or yeah.
What theickowski ways
That's seven eleven here we go
There's eight
Four touch ago there's collusion going on if he does mine. All right
Okay, real or here we go Oh, he's timing it good. They with
a hundred dubs too is in order to get that in the minute you have to go and broken. Yep.
Lizzie taking away the old bars. I just want to watch him trip and throw his rope and be
like, fuck text now if you would like to try to win the thousand bucks.
Nothing enrages me more than double unders when you like when you just have that bad day and you're
tripping and you're just like the only thing that's ever come close is like video games.
Did you guys see did you guys see the CNN host Dana? I think Dana Peran is her name
I'm saying that Tim walls and Doug Emhoff were good candidates because they're low t-count they appeal the men with low testosterone
Yeah, it's amazing I got to get you the clip it's amazing
That's good. That's what if he'll stay under a minute. Good job. Let's go
That's what appeals to stay under a minute. Good job. Let's go
Those were as fast as honey. I gotta get for it to count. There we go. Eleven reps
No, this is 205. Yeah, I thought it was 205. It's 205. There's two
You have to stay within your box when you do the snatches there's three
All the your box when you do the snatches. There's three. It looks like two 20.
I know that's what I thought.
Two 25, but I think he's got a 35 on the inside of that for,
that's for, yeah.
Hey, can grassiano beat them on this?
No, no, those dubs.
I don't know if you can do a hundred jumping jacks.
Six right there
Taylor's a beast. Sorry, he'll go ahead the shoulder pump grass. Yeah, I don't give him a hundred jumping jacks to be incredible
All those raises those heavy ass arms. Oh nice. Here we go last one in damn
How many was that?
Eight.
Yeah, I'll say that.
I don't know.
So his total score is 22, 330.
Is that where we're in the background?
He shouldn't have counted the double unders.
It should have just been the snatches.
Yeah.
I mean, what's the difference?
I thought he said the score is your snatches.
No, he said the double unders count towards your your score but only if you hit the snatches but like yeah
Thank you buddy 499 for James Sprague's couch
Yeah, I agree. He'll I don't think there is a difference just do the statments
Yeah, I promise you that couch will stay clean James will not be pulling out for the first year. Could John young be Taylor at this?
No, no, this is this best. I think it's his best chance. Absolutely not
Best chance it doesn't mean the third set of hundred double unders. He's gonna be gasping for air. Yeah
He'll have metabolized that McDonald's sandwich and be hurting at that point. Yeah, he'll be running on freaking fossil fuels or something.
If you want to compete and win the thousand bucks, all you got to do is text the number
and I will send you a link and you can get on and try to fuck with Taylor.
Or you can just not say anything.
We'll talk for the next 30 minutes and there'll be $1,500 next week.
By the way, get your FID aid now, 40% off.
Use the QR code.
Patrick Mitrovich.
Is that just like a Polish name?
Just like classic Polish name?
Is that Polish and Irish mixed?
Mik Mitrovich?
Get your insurance if you live in South Carolina,
North Carolina or Georgia.
He's also the sponsor of Shut Up and Scribble.
Last night's show on the CrossFit Games was absolutely amazing.
I loved the show.
I loved the... it was weird not having John Young there, but the show killed.
You guys did good.
It was going to be a little hard.
Absolutely killed.
You guys messed up.
The finale had me loving on Jeff Bako, John Woolley, and one other person.
Who is the other person it was crazy
Brent Fikowski
No, it was not crazy. Good guess that was crazy crazy, but not crazy crazy. I'm a show or what?
It was nuts hey, I saw I saw Baker and tank Reeves fighting in the comments that fucking
Heart. Oh, that's that's good. I feel like I haven't seen tank in a while. Yeah, it was cool
What about David weed?
David's fucking banging some chick at his gym
Kenneth Hall walks 499 make couches great again. Thank you
Welcome
Superstar he will be at the NorCal classic on October August 5th Welcome, Taylor Self, superstar.
He will be at the NorCal Classic on August 5th.
So will I, so will Souza.
5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th.
He will be going.
It's a competition open to the public, but really it's just Taylor versus Colton versus
Tudor and Magda versus Tim Paulson.
It's going to be crazy.
We're going to have the behind the scenes for you.
It's going to be crazy. We're going to have the behind the scenes for you. It's going to be an epic battle.
The first event will be a swim event.
I'll be holding up a sign if your vacs don't get in the water.
Wow.
Is it the first event?
How do you know that?
What?
Is what the first event? How do you know? You put it behind that, Jer. How do you know that the first event? How do you know that? What is what the first event?
How do you know you put behind that you're how do you know that the first event is a swim?
I don't know that it was the swim and I don't know that I don't know either. I don't I can't answer that question
I feel like it's a loaded question. I don't know is fake news. Yeah. Thank you miss information
Fucking boy Robert F. Kennedy?
Yeah.
Hey, if you're a Kamala fan in the chat, go watch it.
Which I am. I am a Kamala fan.
How did the Dems not nominate RFK? He's such a stud.
Hey, I checked this out.
Someone, I'm not going to name names, but there was a post and someone commented on the post.
It was a post about shoes or free shoes or some shit.
And someone commented and was like, oh, send me a pair.
The profile picture is Kamal Harris.
And I almost commented.
I was like, I'll send you fucking five pair if you vote for Trump. Hey, did you see at the, uh, that, uh, uh, Danny
Peran or Dana Peranchik from CNN said that, um, Danny Peres, that, uh, uh, that
the first man Emhoff and that Tim walls appealed to men with low testosterone.
Did you see that? No, did she really say that? Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, she said
that they, they, they're good because they appeal to men who aren't laden with
testosterone.
Wow.
That's a horrible thing.
If you're a guy and you're not laden with testosterone, go see Sarah Cox.
You have men with more testosterone.
Tanner would be tailored today on this workout.
Oh my God.
Nathan Costello is a fucking retard if you think that Tanner Shook would beat me.
Hey, I got some fans coming in.
They came to watch the show.
Some fans come in. I finished.
I finished.
They, they messaged me.
Hey, what's up, Amanda?
Your friend.
We're live.
What's your name?
Peter.
Come get in the shot.
We got a CEO shirt.
Wow.
Let me, uh, oh my God.
Here you.
But get ready to snatch. How house Taylor. It's no workout
Yeah, you're gonna call in hold on I gotta change the audios
Alright ready write a master's version. You've got one at the game
For the couch, but I'm gonna need that 499 back. Okay. There we go
No problem. He's got a CEO shirt.
He's better shut the fuck up and be nice.
I am nice. I love that shirt. He's a good dude.
He's got the new one.
Hey, does Taylor smell?
Yes, he does.
I think it's his dog.
She thought about it.
Taylor smells like wet dog.
Great answer. Yeah, don't let him go. I get this dog. She thought about it. Taylor smells like wet dog.
Great answer.
Yeah, don't let him come near your leg.
I'll hike away.
Has anyone called in yet?
No, not yet.
All right, so.
How many snatches did you get, Taylor?
We forgot.
Did you get 13, nine, and eight?
Yes.
Okay, so that's a total of 30.
Yeah, I got 30.
On the first round you have to do nine,
second round you have to do six,
third round you have to do three.
For the double unders to count, so my score is 330.
Okay.
Score to be 330.
So you could-
Why would you include the dubs as part of the score?
Because some fuckhead will just do a hundred dubs and is an
N30 snatches in a row or 31 they'll go you know what you made another rule for
that that's the rule for that you don't need to include this snack I mean the
double the double whatever guys stop this is not my rules and accept them
okay well we just into Brett he demands that you take the double enters out of there. Isn't it weird? You have the greatest programming show on
the internet and that these guys from fucking this ding dong show kill Taylor when I argue
with you. Right. And hey, I have not even I haven't been trying to work out for the
past year. I fucking made this workout yesterday. It's a good workout. No wonder. I think it's I took a lot of it from Down Under
Championship maybe Australian. I think Down Under Championship qualifier. It was kind of like that
but it was rest in between. I was 205 right? Huh? The last bar was 205. My last bar was 205 their last bar. I think their workout was 135 165 200
Okay, I woke up this morning with a big smile on my face and I could hear
Oh shit, Tyler Watkins saying that's not a knife in an Australian accent
Favorite fucking movies ever dude. Oh, it's actually from a movie. Yeah
movies ever, dude.
Oh, it's actually from a movie.
Yeah.
Crocodile. You never seen that?
I don't know, but I knew it was a reference to some sort of like
foster commercial or something.
I know you got to watch that movie.
It's a class.
I can't believe you didn't even know what movie it was.
Oh, it was so funny when you said that last week.
It was so fast.
Wow.
Where's John Young?
I'll be tailoring this workout.
I got 31.
My, my bus driver used to say that all the time. What?
That's not a knife.
Why would you carry a knife on the school bus you read next?
I don't know. He was also a pedophile.
Oh!
Joe, I canceled my PFAA membership to pay for this. Thank you, buddy.
That's money well-
Not a membership organization,hip organization membership based organization.
Susan that's called reallocation, right?
Did they go like it?
About reallocating $4,500. Aren't you?
Bro, if nobody calls in this week after the workout we had last week,
Oh, that's when you were last week was a long workout.
This one's pretty easy and fun.
I agree.
I want to hear more about this bus driver of yours, Tyler.
Where did he first touch you?
Can you show us?
Well, how big was the bus you rode?
Is it shorter or long?
It was an average size bus.
The other kids had it awesome.
I think everybody knew a pedophile grow up.
Do you want to think if I knew one?
I knew my English teacher was one in the...
It just depends on how well you knew him.
Now are we just calculating these pedophiles or is it like on paper somewhere?
My music teacher in the first grade after I graduated elementary school was actually
fired and arrested for sexual predation.
Isn't that crazy?
Listen to this.
It was a man.
It was a man.
His name was Mr. Carr.
I'll fucking blast him all the way.
Tall, tall blonde guy.
And he would always, he had, you know, those like rain maker like noise things.
They're like the big cactus tubes filled with seeds and you like
first off if you're in class and you had to pee he would say just think about running water and
it'll go away which is the exact opposite that's like you'll get to change you and then the other
thing he used to turn the lights out for nap time and fucking chase the kids around with that thing
and just like within
the dark.
How crazy is that?
Rude for life.
If you're not indigenous and you have a rainmaker, you're a pedophile.
Oh my God.
He was definitely not indigenous to Germany maybe.
Wow.
This is a pretty gnarly comment.
The professional faggot athlete.
Whoa.
Wow.
Oh my God. Oh I'm
never reading this guy's comments
again. Thank you. Sheets Mike
and a lot more money than that
yeah. I'm telling you that's It is weird that all the pitos look like they have low T count.
You know what I mean?
Like you never see some big buff dude who's a pitot.
It's always like ass and titties.
It's no that like bad one.
You know what I mean?
You had a big.
Do we have this mom that was known as Hummer Mom and used to take all these young kids
and give them Hummers in the Hummer.
No shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But if it's female on male, that's fine.
You don't.
That is not true.
100% true.
Hardly true.
100% true.
That's true.
Hello, T candidate.
I don't understand this.
I'm offended. the This Show is so gross you guys just act like a bunch of frat boys
Gross no frat boys get drunk and do other weird shit. They do the elephant walk as our
Wait, I always send dick pics when they're drunk. I send them sober
What's the elephant walk is that when you put an exerciser on and walk around with?
that an exercise or on and walk around with. No, elephant walk is when you grab the pledges dick behind you and he in the pledge grabs
your dick and you guys walk in a circle holding each other.
Mine's not big enough for that dude.
Do you have a dude's night out or what?
Olsen dude, morning gentlemen.
Have a phenomenal weekend.
Thank you, Mr. Olsen.
999 for James Briggs couch
Oh
Shit, we should just change the show one week to kill T count. Oh
I like
Sarah run all our bloods and compare them on a show mine would be the highest I would pass out I tried you're in the
I would pass out. I tried. You're in the, uh, you're in the scale division. If the, uh, I like this. If the DNC lowers your T count,
Kil Taylor raises your T count. That's good. That's good.
Wow. Is no one really going to call in because it's early?
They're calling in. They're just warming up their, their low backs first.
Are they?
I felt that all in the arches of my feet. I was so bad. I cramping.
300 dubs will do that.
That was the least impacted you've looked from a workout.
It was it was definitely there have been workouts that were
easier. That one I think is in this. Huh? You think James
Briggs beat you in this?
I think I think I don't want to talk about strategy right now because other people are still waiting to go
But I probably should have done more on the first barbell. Oh
Interesting. I wasn't sure how like 17. I wasn't sure how
The others would feel I really I didn't I thought I was like man for five is gonna be aggressive at 205
You should have dumped it out on that first bar, dude. Just go
for broke it 22 and then survive on the next two you would and
then you would lost yourself.
Shut the fuck up. Kenneth the lap. James is not beating me in
this workout. He can go snatch 165.
Taylor, you're competing at the NorCal Classic August 5.
No, not August 5 September six through eight.
Oh, sorry, September. Yeah,
that's what I meant. And um,
but you'll be are you going to
be out of shape since you'll be
in Italy for the
I'm in the best shape of my
life right now. And I'm just
going to continue getting
better.
Even though you're going to go
to Italy prior to it?
Yeah, I'm going to train all
fucking day.
Did you really gonna smoke some
cigs have some
I'm not gonna smoke any cigs,
bro. There's no glyphosate, there's no seed oils,
there's no-
Why are you baby-
40 in the mood?
Why would you baby your lungs that way?
Definitely smoke cigs, make them deal with that stress, dude.
I used to smoke a pack a day,
so all these pussies at Duke CrossFit
that never did that and think they're fit,
they should go try that, and then being-
Back to the nice little Taylor.
Yeah, that's the basics.
That's actually the foundation
of the aerobic capacity pyramid. I heard him. Henshaw says that too. Well, Henshaw smokes
a different kind of thing. It's a pole, not a is your gym open right now, Susa? It is
not. Oh shit. Well, maybe no one on the West coast has a gym open. No, no, we're giving
we're giving everyone in the UK and Europe a better opportunity. Oh, equality Taylor. I like
that about equity, diversity, really turning giving all the white dudes for Kamala chance.
If you're a white dude and you're from Kamala, I'll pay you $100 just to call in so I can bend you over. It's probably
Michael Myers on it. And it says no lives matter. You know, like, that's a great shirt.
You should have wore it.
Festive.
Audrey's got a good point. The Asians used to work out at the
university wellness center and then go out and smoke a cig.
On campus 100% of the time it's Asian cigarettes.
They love smoking cigarettes.
Asian people are my favorite ethnicity overall.
Way better than whites.
Especially Koreans and Japanese.
And I mean that because the culture just fascinates the shit out of me.
Like fucking...
You look like the kind of guy who would have married a Japanese girl.
Okay, dude.
Hey, my best friend growing up married a girl from a Vietnamese girl.
But I know exactly what you mean when you say that a white guy who's into Asian girls.
I know exactly what you mean.
Yeah.
They always...
Whenever I see a white guy with an Asian woman, for some reason, I
always get a little gay off them.
No, a lot of gay off.
I thought you were gonna say they ordered that wife and I was gonna agree.
No, dude.
I love it.
It's like two categories.
It's guys who are like really into like star wars stuff and anime or, or like
fucking Vietnam vets, like it's like two different
Different opposite ends of the spectrum
There's a guy in my neighborhood who's a Vietnam vet his wife was from Vietnam and I was like damn, you know
He brought home two hand grenades and a fucking girl. Go ahead
Every every bagger that works at the base commissary has a
Vietnam vet husband guaranteed seen it every day oh wow damn fucks think I'm
just making this up wow it's all 70 and I love Star Wars actually
Oh help me with that have you ever seen Lord of the Rings 7? Yeah, it's good. Yes, I have.
It's way better than Lord of the Rings.
Okay, I do agree.
I think Lord of the Rings is better than...
Dude, how do you guys sit down for a 4-hour movie and not get anxiety before?
Yeah, I can't do that either.
You're just going to be lying for 4 hours?
Holy shit.
Because I watched it before I had responsibilities.
I couldn't do that. Who are you?
He's been still for 10 minutes.
Who's going to the NorCal Classic that you're going to compete against?
It's going to be Colton Merton.
Tudor Magda.
Tim Paulson.
Is he?
I think I saw him.
He was there last year.
I don't think he's signed up to God.
I think he's retired.
Sweeney.
Will Sweeney be there?
No, dude. Sweeney the Will Sweeney be there? No, dude.
Sweeney the Weenie?
Yeah.
No.
What about like Jason Carroll?
Wasn't he out here this way?
He's not going to be there.
I think Philip Muscarella, who's just a chud.
And then, uh.
He's got a lot of super aesthetic physiques.
Yeah, he's one of those guys who definitely
looks like he uses performance enhancing drugs and
also no go and he kind of
performs like it to
three minute time domain, you
should do a don't do a video on
him. Just don't give him that
cloud. He's the reason I didn't
make the games in 2020.
And it's not because the
steroids either. It's because he went out like a retard in a workout and I followed him like the Fuck that guy. Making a game because of him. And it's not because of the steroids either.
It's because he went out like a retard in a workout and I followed him like a retard
that I am.
Sounds like it's your fault.
Yeah, 100%.
But whatever.
Who else?
Make a video.
Ramblers fucking hilarious.
Chud.
No, I said chud.
It means more thick.
Means more thick.
Yeah, it's thicker than a chud.
A chud is like a... like a chud stinks to smell
You guys it's a thousand bucks. Where's on when you need a missy?
witness
You got the phone turned on where yeah, I don't know what's going on. Are you guys texting in or what?
I'm doing I'm doing crash as well like a month after or Cal Taylor
How long when you get come back from Europe were you be in California for before we have to go to NorCal?
I come to a fly in on September 3rd and I think we need to it's probably late. When do we land?
You got the tickets info? Lizzie's gonna pull it up. We fly in to San Francisco on the 3rd
and then we probably need to drive to Sacramento or whatever wherever that is Granite Bay. Yeah.
By the fit. I think is when our A&B starts. We should go we should do Taylor in the streets of San Francisco. Oh
Fuck yeah. Let's do a video dude. I'll wear my Trump hat. What? Yeah, let's go to West Oakland. Yeah, what time?
Taylor gets hepatitis B doing burpees.
Okay, we landed seven. We landed at 7pm on the third time. So we're gonna need a ride. But also, I'm not scared of going into Oakland with my Trump hat. Like they'll be fucking down. They'll be like, yeah, Trump's my dude. But you go into San Francisco with with guys wearing fucking tassels on their penises and tucking like all they do is tuck
And and wear colorful clothing. That's where you need to be careful or
Riding in the streets just by that statement alone. I could tell you've never been to san francisco
Hey, have you ever can you tuck without your hands taylor? Can you do that thing where you shove your butt back and your penis swings down between your legs and you grab it?
Get now Just wonder if you have that move.
Are you that long, dude?
Are you that long?
I'm just wondering if you have that move.
That's all I'm asking.
He's that in doubt.
I've never tried that.
Yeah, you should try that.
The no-handed tuck.
The no-handed tuck.
You ever have a ball like go up into your stomach a little bit?
Yeah, when you're masturbating?
No.
What? a little bit. Yeah, when you're masturbating. No, in the morning
you'll sit down there like you're like go to the bathroom
and you're like what the **** I have a tumor in my mom's
pubis. What's going on? What is that? Why does it do? Why do
one of the balls do that?
That's not real. I go, yeah, it is. And I like pulled shoulder.
Like, look, it's in my stomach now.
That happened to me one time when I was rowing, I almost had a panic attack.
Dude, I got the biggest hemorrhoid of my life when I was rowing one time.
It was the size of Tyler's head. It's if you. I'm gonna get a hemorrhoid while rowing.
It's if you take a shit and then you sit on a rower for 30 minutes, you're bound to get
a hemorrhoid right after.
Like you don't give it time to get all back up there.
I heard that's all for something Hinshaw tells people.
Hey, did it go away or did you have it snipped off?
No, that was the one I had to have cut.
Dude.
That made me mad. You haven't really? Yeah, dude, I had to go to this
specialist and the guy was like, Listen, you can't work out for
at least a month. And I was like, No, dude, I have a
qualifier this week. So you need to do you need to do the best.
It was thrown boast, Hiller. So he's like, you need to do the
best thing. I told him I was like, Hey, whatever you need to
do, I'm working out in three days. So you need to make the
best decision. And it was either it was either just like let it
go away. It was excruciatingly painful, first off. And he was
like, All right, we'll cut it off. And I just see, you know,
sticks a needle in that Joker to numb it up. And then I just hear
snip, snip, snip. He's like, All right, you're done. And they
jammed a half gallon of gauze in between my butt cheeks. I just
clenched and went home.
Hey, can't they freeze the hemorrhoid off? Can't they just freeze it off?
Not one the size of Tyler's head.
You can also like castrate them.
Did you see it?
No, I didn't see it. I didn't. Oh, I looked at it in the mirror before I went in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're wearing like a shark tooth necklace now. It's just hung inside a little marble.
A shark tooth necklace? Put it in a jar of formaldehyde, like an eyeball.
You remember when he pinched his penis and there was a big story about it.
Oh, one of the game seasons. Imagine that it's like Taylor's going to go to the
coffee and he got a hemorrhoid from sitting on a rover.
Who pinched their penis?
Noah. He was doing the,
Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know if he pinched, he crushed his helmet.
Whoa.
Who crunched the helmet?
Noah was doing the worm at his,
or the centipede at his gym
and he went over the tip of his penis.
Yeah, he was doing the human centipede at his gym?
Yeah.
You guys have never done that?
The worm.
Crushed your penis, the helmet?
Yeah.
No.
No.
Wow, really no one's calling in. This is soft serve. He was having a snatch one time and it was not soft. Yeah, no. Wow. Really? No one's calling in. This is soft.
Is that what it's not one time and it was not. Yeah, the snatch. I've done it snatching
before. Hey, the workout next week is going to be no there. No one has a chance of beating
me next week. So I just know what cleaners six for time. Where in Italy are you going
to? We're going to Rome, then Florence, then then the dolomites then venice or rome venice the dolomites
florence cool right what are the dolomites i gotta schedule affiliates to go to because i have to
like i get a call ahead so i can train properly we gotta do that today uh the dolomites there's
like a mountain range it's like near austria yeah look at that shit. Yeah? Austria?
That looks like fucking Mordor dude.
I'm gonna go forge a ring.
How nice will it be if you win the NorCal Classic and win that 30k and your trip's paid
for?
Well my trip's already paid for but yes, I'm gonna win that 30k and I'm gonna buy some
shit.
I'm gonna probably buy another silencer
You know Colton's really gonna want to win. No
Lizzie got so mad I bought the last one
So I can shoot my backyard gotta stay ready dog
Hey, why did she get mad?
She didn't get mad she was just like you need to wait till after Italy, cause it's expensive.
Oh yeah, that's what my wife would say too.
How much did you sign with her?
Wait till you come home with a motorcycle, she won't talk to you for weeks.
Wait till you come home with a motorcycle!
Thank you.
Just kidding.
How much, take a guess, Hiller.
1100 bucks. I was gonna say 1800.
No it was out the door for like 959.
Are they legal?
Yeah, they're I don't know if they're, I'm pretty sure I don't know what state's rules
are but all you have to do is just apply for like a federal tax stamp and register it and
that takes like four to 14 days.
And they keep it at the shop until you get
approved you can go shoot it so like it basically in two weeks i'll have this atf tax stamp approved
and i'll have it in my house atf i don't even think we're allowed to look at those in california
i could even do they they double as like uh if you're a if you're a white dude for kamala
so you can use it for your extracurriculars too, but yeah. Yeah
Sit on it you can sit on it you can bounce up and down on it
You can work on your stretch reflex in the bottom of your squat with it
Caleb has reset the clock if you want to win a thousand bucks
All you have to do is text that number have a jump rope and see Jake
Is it true anymore?
If you have a silencer, you can't what?
I don't know.
I feel like that's probably not true.
Cause Taylor's not true.
Right.
He has a silencer already.
What's what the silence here.
Laura spooner 9 99 for James Briggs couch.
Thank you, Laura.
Hey, Laura.
Yeah.
She's a member of the local affiliate over here.
I met her at, I think I met that girl at the CrossFit Games.
She did.
She took one of my classes at waterpalooza.
You did take out of a freedom funnel.
Yeah, final freedom funnel, freedom funnel.
All right.
Well, is that it?
We're just going to go to 1500 State Farm.
Not only do they sponsor shut up and Scribble, but South Carolina also.
We should hang out for another look, 22 minutes. Let's give people a chance.
Patrick.
What a bunch of nerds.
Well, we do it at 4 a.m. on the West Coast.
Okay.
If you need a quote, Patrick, P-A-T-R-I-C-K at sfpatrick.com.
He gives a discount to all crossfitters.
I don't know if that's true.
Kenneth, the answer to this is everybody's off cycle now and nobody can beat Taylor anymore.
What excuses do games athletes have now to not call in?
Vagittitis.
Now's when I would be going on cycle.
You know, I think I'd have an off period, dude.
Yeah, but you would want to cycle off while you're at the games.
That way they can't get right.
You're right.
Give it three weeks. Everybody will be back on.
But yeah, all the games athletes are still resting.
They're still eating shit food.
That's what they do. They qualify for the games.
They beat themselves into the dirt.
And then for the next month afterward, they eat like fucking chili dogs and and fucking gummy worms.
And, uh, speaking of chili dogs and gummy worms,
as Spiegel said that she endorses the PFA yet because she wants change. Oh, wow.
Hey, games athletes. I heard games athletes have to run it by the PFA before they can call in.
I heard games athletes have to run it by the PFA before they can call in.
Hey, this shows PFA approved.
Is it?
Yes. Yeah.
The PFA?
Yes.
Always the other acronym.
We all run, run all workouts.
Look pretty safe in there today.
Look good.
Good.
Yep.
Oh yeah.
Spiegel's way too busy eating gelato and ice cream.
Hey, shut up, dude. That's gonna be you in like three weeks.
I don't eat any I'm not eating any sweets.
You're literally gonna be in the capital.
Why would you go to Italy and not have gelato, bro?
Because I'm competing in two fucking weeks. I'm not gonna have any gelato.
I don't eat I haven't had added sugar in like three months, bro.
I'm not gonna break your Italy.
You gotta break it in Italy.
No, you're a pussy Tyler.
That's why you would give in.
You're going to lose nor Cal because you can't have ice cream.
No, that's not why I'm not allowing anyone to have a mental edge over me.
Huh?
You're eating bagels?
No, no, no.
Just meat and fruit.
Meat fruit.
I have had rice and I have had
sweet potatoes and potatoes
You just I can't still happy you just had a fit aid with sugar. Oh, that's true. I have
This is this is a healthy kind of sugar there you go
Whatever you gotta tell yourself.
It's a god way.
If any joins, it can be the professional
Fat Athletes Association.
Oh man.
Fat Ass Athletes Association.
Oh my God.
4.99 for James Sprague, the champ's couch.
That's worse than anything we've ever said on the show before.
I don't think that Danny is fat.
I'm really concerned. She's infl concerned. I would say inflamed. massively inflamed. Sure. You
can say that. Right. If she does your diet, she wouldn't be
inflamed. Right. Correct. Are you attracted to strong women?
Taylor women who have a higher t count than you? No, no, Lizzy
strong as fuck. No, but I mean, with a really high t count. I
mean, like really strong, like girls with six hundred pound deadlifts like it's ma'am
That's not something that I like to find attractive. No, it's I wouldn't say that something. I'm like attracted to that
Your next
On your me heard as John Young. Yeah, I'm only attracted to one kind of female and that's Lizzy
Hair on chest, he count.
Oh my God. No.
Pinero kind of strong.
No Pinero looks like a dude.
I'd be like boinking a guy.
But you have to have gelato while you're out there.
Basically this would be like boinking and Rico's Zanoni.
Like he's a male games athlete.
If like that's the, it's one of the same.
I'm just saying, look, what are of the same. I'm just saying look what are you
talking about? I'm just what? He's got more muscle mass than he does. We can talk about men but we
can't talk about women. What are you talking about? Do we even know? Has she passed the
gender test? No we don't know. I don't want to start that rumor here bro. Too late. It's all right
John Young's been saying it for three months. Has he? Dude, just take on on powerlifting women or whatever strong women.
That was hilarious.
Did you ever see the clip, Taylor?
No.
No.
On the spin show?
No.
Oh, I love how I get on the spin show.
They're like, Taylor, don't say the F word, but then John will say something
just completely racist, ignorant, or idiotic just without using a
swear word and it's fine.
It's baffling my brain about how dumb people are about that
post.
On that thing is huge.
I mean, man in the boat, the man
I mean man in the boat the man
That's what it is oh
My god, that's fucking horrible. The workout today is so easy
It's a hundred double unders snatches hundred double under snatches hundred double under snatches. You get a thousand bucks from Patrick
It's easy. He didn't even get a lot. He got 30
That's why you should call in because Taylor's weak and you'd beat his ass anyway. Yeah
Sending some donations first gelato fun. What the fuck is wrong with people? No, I'm donations for some more ammo
Taylor will have gelato. You're not gonna make a bet Tyler. Yeah, madam. Okay, you'll take a picture and you'll be like guys that cave. Yeah, I agree. I agree. All right, all
of you put up 100 bucks. No, because I want you to enjoy
your vacation and have the exact form Tyler used. I would enjoy
my vacation more with $400. So now you wouldn't Lizzie is going to squeeze a load of gelato and Taylor's crack.
That's not I'm still not eating it.
Lizzie $100 to sneak it into your food so that I win regardless.
You're going to go out there.
You're not going to have like you're not gonna have like pasta
There's no bad shit in any of their food I just don't want any gelato
There's no bad shit in the gelato. I don't give a fuck about I just am NOT a huge like
I'm gonna pay easy to eat gelato every I want a raw cow cut
What I'll cut wide open on the fucking in the foothills of the Dolomites just a fucking bloody I just want steak at every meal my testosterone is higher than it's ever been because it's meat I've been eating
Wow, it's crazy, dude. My wife told me the same thing last night like I get I when I get hungry
I'm like, I just want I just see fucking red meat
Hey, this will be the first show ever. No one's in right yeah it is yeah that's amazing fucking love it he doesn't want to pick he doesn't want a
pic of him licking anything pick his PIC you dumbass no the problem is the
picture of him eating gelato would be him trying to deep throat it is the only
way he would send that picture Wow Taylor's testosterone is so high
He's voting for Trump twice. Wow. It's so high. I'm actually donating money
Wow
How much did you donate I didn't I'm just kidding
All my Instagram poster donations
All my Instagram posts are donations.
I donated $47. Nice.
And I covered the $11.
Did you have to go to Gavin Newsom when you had to pay the tax for it?
And I even paid the $1.98 processing fee.
Nice.
Oh, three times.
Stron William says three times.
Wow. All right.
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Where are you staying when you come to California?
Are you staying at Sevan's?
Are you and Lizzie staying at Sevan's?
He offered.
So yeah.
You did?
I did?
Yeah, you fucking offered, bro.
So if he were sins now,
I guess I'm sleeping on the sidewalk outside the airport.
Oh shit.
Haley, wash the sheets.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I'm excited.
The boys are excited.
It's gonna be awesome.
And then we'll all caravan, we'll all cruise up.
I'll get a big fat escalator, something, rent it,
and we'll cruise over to a sack town.
You drive by my house to go to Sacramento?
Probably.
I can.
We'll pick you up, bro.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
It comes to the gym.
I spoke to Blair Morrison yesterday.
I got our media passes.
Um, he, uh, he's our point of contact.
So that's awesome.
Sick.
Yeah.
I'm really excited for it.
I'm more excited than I thought than I thought it would be
Yeah, you're gonna have to put plastic sheets down for me
That's fine
I'm like, I'm like one of his friends it comes over spend over a sleepover and I pissed the bed and I don't tell anybody
So they go home
The kind of friend who tells.
Hey, we have double plastic on all on all the kids.
You better take that off because I sweat when I sleep.
I can't even know.
It's like it's like underneath layers.
That's how you know.
That's how you know.
See, Sarah, that's how you know.
If you it's underneath all the layers, you sweat
and you don't get any like airflow.
And then you just wake up in a pool, your own sweat.
Then you fucking like touch the bed and It's like, you can feel it.
Taylor's like on Airbnb and there's plastic on the bed. I
take it off before I sleep.
The entire bed off of the bed frame in California.
100% Yeah, because I didn't want Bryson falling through the bunk
bed while he was jerking off in the middle of the night.
He was up there furiously like that. He's like, Oh my God, I got to get out of here.
Very comfortable.
Oh, I didn't play this in the beginning, right?
That's why nobody called.
That's why no one called.
It's gone.
Taylor self is here.
The next victim is waiting in the wing. I'm going to be a thing.
No, ref.
Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.
Oh my God.
What's this?
Wine.
Let us constantly pursue excellence.
Hey, did I do all my double unders correctly?
Because I didn't have to.
No.
I didn't?
How do you do them incorrectly?
Yeah.
How would that work? I just meant meant like did I count correctly? I?
Yet, yeah, is there right Lizzie was counting my snatches. They told her not to count my double unders
Taylor does every client who goes to cross at Charlotte have to walk through you is that the lobby you're in
No, a lot of people can go out the back bay a lot of people park there
But like maybe it's probably half and half there There's one, two, three, four, five more cars up front.
I was just wondering if like, you're like, yeah, I had to have that hemorrhoid snipped
off.
No, no, no.
No one heard that except for Lizzy, but probably most people here know that story.
Someone's giving a tour.
So this is the bathroom.
Yeah.
You fucking bitches.
That's the hemorrhoid story.
Joel appreciating the workout.
This is a great workout.
No rest between interval intervals makes it way harder.
I don't know.
The rest between intervals makes you go harder.
It was a good workout.
There's a...
I got it from the Down Under Championship.
I just want to reiterate that.
So they don't think I'm like, you know,
copying them without their own credit.
That was a cool workout.
I saw the qualifier, but dude who does Sentinel was doing it. So I was like,
wow, that's a sick workout. And that's where I got the idea for it.
Cool. Cool. Wait, you're streaming us in the back?
Oh shit. Lizzie has us on the TV. They can see that. That's cool.
That's not keep it up. No, let's go.
Hey dude. Um, did anyone from the gym watch you do the workout today?
Yeah, a couple of the competitors, competitive group who does
stand up and pee we're watching. The real Matthew, give me 15 minutes.
I'm coaching. I don't know if we'll be, I don't know. No, he's so bad.
I guess he knows. Father Wexford, why are we so big in the cat?
I did. I took the addiction test. When are we going to do that show? When are we going big in the cat? I did I took the addiction test
When are we gonna do that show? When are we gonna go over it Taylor?
Did you ever take the addiction test from CA peptides yet DNA for addiction sent a test to Taylor?
He took the test the results are in Taylor and I spoke to Sarah yesterday. It was a fecal sample and
No
Will be having a Bob on what was Bob's last name Bob the
Bob Forrest
Bob Forrest Bob Forrest and we'll be doing a show with Bob and he'll be reviewing
Taylor's results that's gonna be really soon here. We gotta get get that scheduled. You also have Rich Froning coming on here soon.
Hey, how is this podcast with Angela? I'm going to go watch it today while I'm working.
It takes 20 minutes to get going. The first 20 minutes, they're kind of like stumbling over each other.
And then fucking Angela and Rich get going and fucking crush it.
Yeah, there's a little dance at the beginning.
Yeah.
Tabby Fofazocas, addict for what?
This dick! Tabby for bazookas addict for what?
In this and be friendly have been dancing for like weeks now so 20 minutes isn't that I don't know dude talking elite fitness Had us that had a thumbnail the other day with a big fucking red X over Dave and also Wow
That is an aggressive thumbnail. Fuck you guys. Yeah, I didn't like like the thumbnail either but the show's even the show's even worse. Oh
Yeah, Daniel, Gerrity, right Taylor did a cheek test, but Bryson Seaman contaminated the test
Lizzie just said so everyone knows to wear what we're sleeping together. No a
tracing Everyone knows where what? We're sleeping together. No. Trace them.
Brice will take on the floor afterward.
Tabby, so basically this test for DNA for addiction, it's basically a test and you take
it and it tells you if you're genetically predisposed to be an addict.
Opiates, opiates, specifically.
If you go to the hospital or something and they want to give you drugs or if you want to give it to your kids so you know to be extra vigilant with their ability to get drugs or what not.
You know how many times they can try meth?
I tried it three times before I became addicted.
I did too at your gym you have a disproportionately high number of people who have a propensity
to be addicted to drugs.
I mean that's good and garlic.
Now let's talk about methamphetamines.
I never did them.
But really how many do you feel like you weren't addicted the first time?
Hey, who is that guy Hans that called in? like, do you feel like you weren't addicted the first time?
Hey, who is that guy Hans that called in? He looks like he was addicted to meth.
Meth addicts.
Dude, we've had several meth addicts on the show.
Yeah, true. I think I think you're right.
Matthew, Hans.
Half the gyms that have called in look like they double as meth
labs.
100% they're all Tyler Tyler counts.
I'm still addicted. I don't
even consider it addiction
anymore. It's just a habit.
I'm not addicted. It's a habit.
Jim's does anyone know what
happened between them? What's
going on with Gabby and Laura
and Christoph and Ben Smith?
Does anyone know what's going
on there?
Gabby is dating-
Ben and Laura's dating Christoph?
Christoph is dating Laura.
No, they're brother and sister.
Christoph and Laura are dating.
Gabby's dating Christoph,
and Christoph jammed from the games.
Wait, I thought Laura and Christoph were-
They're brother and sister.
Laura and Christoph are in this confusion.
Oh. brother and sister
brothers that's a very step bro shit dude come on maybe if she wouldn't
maybe she would call in or like you know do a show with you and not just say yeah
no I think that window is closed yeah probably I mean I'm waiting for the new
fleet of athletes to come in there's. There's screws leading into the friggin' base of that.
Trust me, this is where we're at. We're in this period where like...
Oh, I love this. Talk slow, I'm gonna enjoy this.
All right, so we're in this... The life of CrossFit has been this arc.
At the beginning, you know, a lot of cool people, and they just kept getting cooler and cooler and cooler and cooler. And then it peaked with like Rich, Josh, Buck and Scott Pancik, all these guys, Ben Smith included.
Just really cool.
They had all this other stuff about them that made them interesting.
Josh Bridges was a seal.
Rich rode dirt bikes and shot guns and fucking did other stuff in the mountains.
And people could stuff the Taylor lights even even you the Europeans Miko
Saylo would fucking you know lock himself in his closet work out for six hours like there was just we there was shit about people
That was cool. How do you can you hi?
How do you should call in this great workout for you? Um
then
It becomes this all you do is crossfit and you have no other aspect to your being or soul.
And we're in this steady decline right now
where all the athletes are boring as fuck
because all they do is CrossFit.
There's nothing more to them.
Hey, this is messed up.
I think it peaked with Jeff Adler, dude.
It did not peak.
He was the coolest.
Maybe sociopathic
with Jeff Adler. His eyes. What
I wanted to win. I won. It
peaked. You guys are gonna
Gerald seriously. I get into
the I want to win. I win. Set
twenty event one. Who's the coolest games athlete. He's the coolest games athlete.
Like we call is Colton the coolest games athlete.
Is he like the last like, uh, Colton 100% is that is the games
athlete with the most substance to who he is.
And all the time.
He's cool.
Ricky.
the coolest thing of Ricky couldn't be shown on camera, right?
But you can here's the thing. Here's the thing and that's like
Go ahead. Good. I'm just gonna say that statement right there is why the athletes aren't cool right now
They're scared to show who they are on camera and people get fucking attached to just a brick wall with nothing behind it
So be yourself think of all the cool stories Roman has that he hasn't shared.
And from Russia? Yeah dude, he's probably like you know, you know, anal masturbating with an ice pick
back in like you know the Eastern Bloc or whatever. Wow. How did you just come out with that? I agree.
I agree. I mean seriously. I feel that he's pretty cool. The rabbits. Yeah, but he needs to be more vocal about like being the redneck that he is or hillbilly
or whatever, you know, negative connotation you want to attach to being from where he's
grown.
You can say it.
You know what was weird about the Froning podcast that he didn't bring up and I wonder
if it was on purpose, but when he came into the sport, his two best
friends had died. Who?
From his cousin, right. And it's like, and that brought so much
depth to who he was. So
he was also cool as fuck. Angelo's cool as fuck.
I agree. But he's not. But he's a team athlete. So sorry,
Angela. Yeah, that's a huge thing. Those cancel each other
out.
Yeah, that's a huge thing. Those cancel each other out for sure. Yeah, that makes them less cool.
I haven't even been to the games as a teenager or on a team. What the fuck am I saying?
Dalen's cool as shit.
Dalen is cool, but I want to know more about him.
What's cool though is, what's cool about Dalen, Jason, and Sprague is just their, their, they feel like it's like a new, they just feel like a new generation
that showed up together.
They seem cool.
Um, they're all, they're all different.
Hey, do they feel, do they feel rich is cool in like an approachable way, but
those guys feel more cool in a professional way?
I would say that I would say're close I would say with that down and Jason that's true I think James
is really approachable I again similarly I agree those guys are awesome I just
want to know more about them right like yeah you kind of fucked that up too like
she doesn't seem like a like a real person. Yeah
Everything I've heard about them fuck them T and Shane kick rocks. I disagree
No, she is like what the T is like what what like a professional sport would want?
You know what? I mean, she it's like she's going like to get on a Wheaties box
And it's you have anybody but she's but's not, because she's not like Antonio Brown.
She's not like, she's not even like Tom Brady.
Even Tom Brady fucking cheats and gets caught
and like there's controversy around him.
Like he fucking blows footballs up, dude.
Tia's just like, there's nothing interesting.
Oh, there's nothing interesting.
We need some rumors, like she fucked Max L. Haas
or something.
Right.
You heard that rumor?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Crazy, dude.
I heard he was on, I heard he was actually on the receiving end
I disagree. I I think down
Controls the amount of content. I think there's a problem with seeing too much of people
Especially if you're not entertaining. No, what do you like too much?
We don't see any we don't see them ever work out in competition, which
is another problem. James and rich used to do the dot com
workout today fucking seven or some other plea would fly out
there. No minutes garage. You know, sit there and just film
you know, one camera camera on him while they're doing their
workout. And that's what people love. Like people love that
content. We don't get it anymore. Because oh, if I don't
look good working out, I don't want to know. Because they spent 500k a year on a net read this to tell people love that content. We don't get it anymore. Because oh, if I don't look good working out, I don't want to know.
Because they spent 500k a year on a net read this to tell people
to do nothing.
True.
A player newly entered that or freshmen, especially in a
military academy.
And that Revis is a white dude for Kamala.
Hey, throw that on. How much you want to bet her husband has low T?
I don't even think he has ever known what T is.
Pretty sure she's never seen a T in his life.
I don't know that for sure.
I'm pretty sure though.
I bet you anyone who works in HR, their husband has low T.
Well, the thing of the thing I've just heard that she just she yells at people a lot and
has like that massive kind of like what a low t statement you just
made Taylor.
Hey, she does yell a lot and
she's a she's a table banger
too. I knew some people who
worked at Facebook with her and
she'll bang a table around me.
Oh, fuck that. Hey,
it's so riled up so fast.
Not only does she do that, but if you call her on it, she'll say you're racist that you
don't understand her cultural grievances.
Oh, I'm racist because you're yelling at me?
Yes!
Matthew, coming to the rescue.
No is actually over. It is 7 a.m.
Wow.
Even if you win, you don't over to 7am. So he's got a chance.
Honestly, if he beats it, you got to care if you win this time, dude.
Yeah.
And you paid 1000 bucks, Mr.
Matthew, 430 rips.
Hey, that doesn't look like your home gym.
That looks clean.
Like you guys use soap in there and shit.
You guys know what X-Force is?
That's pretty cool. What is X-Force is? That's pretty cool.
What is X-Force?
It's from Deadpool 2.
Oh, wait.
Is somebody allowed to load the bar?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
You can have multiple bars.
You got three bars there.
Multiple loaders.
Multiple loaders.
Someone can load your mouth.
I'm going now.
You're very open.
Start the clock.
You guys ready? Yeah, we're ready
Bring that creepy dude. Oh look at you. Cross fat wrong wrong. I don't I don't care
This is a thing if someone yells they better just I hope the agreement has been made if you yell like it's open fucking season
You can get
Rolling. Rich, you're the only one who wants to be with the mouthpiece hanging out of his mouth
Hey, rich gets royalties off that.
Okay. Oh, rich gets royalties off of airwave. Yep. Is that a just, it's like just a dental
D beaver for CrossFitters. Dental. Caleb's ready. Matthew's ready. It's a male, it's
a male dental dam. Here we go guys. The order beat is 330. Matthew, oh shit I gotta take notes.
You just have to give me anywhere between 98 and 102.
Alright, Tyler you count the dubs.
3, 2, 1. Tyler's counting dubs. Ready, go.
Oh, he's on pace.
He's on pace.
He's on a mini trampoline down there for all we know.
The really fast clock also gives me anxiety 20
I'm a low T guy
Guys I love those dudes. Hey, I just got a call from the PFA. They said that bars too close to the wall
Mmm, and that man is too close to the bar
the man is too close to the bar. The jolly way 60. I think I have the same couches as them.
Oh, I just got another call from the PFA. The mesh netting on that fan is too dangerous.
Little kids might put their fingers in there. Great. Throw that fan out. I hope he gets
there. The first bar that I can only get five on the second bar.
That'd be awesome.
Here we go.
Oh my god, he's off three seconds faster than that.
He's on pace.
One.
Oh, it's going to be a tough day here.
Two.
Looking good to me.
He can't do 205, don't worry.
Bet he gets 17.
How does he load that?
What are those on the bar?
Yeah, why is it bouncing like 10 feet? He acts like he cares.
Taylor acts like he didn't even care.
Oh, he probably has two 25s.
He does. He does.
Just 11?
Seven.
This is where it sets in.
He's regarding his decisions.
He's on pace, dude's he's regarding his decisions. No,
he's on pace, dude. He's definitely on pace. There's 1010.
He's gripping the fuck out of that bar though. Ripping and ripping baby 11.
He's gonna hit one more. This will be 12.
You gotta hit one more. This will be 12. You gotta hit one more. He was on pace fucking
assholes.
Man right when I hate how he
starts with a single under on
his first rap, that's a
rookie move.
based off their body shape.
He can't
Yeah, yeah.
Well, the brunt of the loading bar.
The brunt of the load.
I handle brunts of loads so well.
I could beat you Taylor.
Matthew, the brunt of the loads.
Matthew's got to put on like 20 pounds and then you can compete.
I don't know.
Did I look nice and thick?
That looks good.
It looks like you plus
five pounds.
You think I'm the ideal
CrossFit game champion body
type.
And I don't think anyone
agrees with that including
yourself. Yes.
James sprig up there, dude.
No, he doesn't. James sprig
looks great. That's
insulting. James.
I know James put out a
buttload of muscle this
year. Yeah, he looks so funny.
James does look phenomenal.
I'm gonna put on so much muscle this year,
you're gonna do a Natty or not on me, Hiller.
Hey guys, I'm one step away from being verified.
Should I verify myself on meta?
Fuck that.
Yeah.
Here we go, Matthew.
No walking around, Matthew.
He needs 10.
He needs 10.
One. One.
There we go.
The hardest one I've ever seen.
On pace. Two. One. There we go. The hardest one I've ever seen. On pace.
Two.
No.
He's punching the bar out.
He's not receiving the bar with straight arms.
He's like pressing out.
Man, it's going to be embarrassing when he beats you.
Looks like he just has a little lap mobility restriction.
Four.
He's smiling.
That's not a good sign.
That's not a good sign.
That's four.
Five. Five. That's not a good sign. That's
not a good sign. That's four.
That's not my overheads.
**** Snatch that **** and drop
it, bro. Yes, to press it out.
Oh, you know, Ron James and
aerobic base and maybe we had5 he would have won the crossfit games this
Ron James were totally different that was that eight free case of fit eight. Oh, he tapped he tapped
Octavio then something for James Briggs's couch. Thank you. That was seven or eight
Eight I think that Harambe he's two behind you. Oh fucking yeah Harambe on this next one. I love her on
Yeah, I
Used to have a Harambe debit card Harambe is voting for Trump
Harambe is not alive
Yeah, but his spirit is who's Harambe. Yeah, I'm gonna break
Boo, Sevan from the show Caleb, please
He's screwed who's Harambe Oh
Kill a little place down here
There you go, Philip knows Harambe was our anchor being Matthew's just letting
us know how fit Taylor was Harambe the piece in the Jenga pile that kept it all together.
You know who he was right? Yes. Harambe. Oh, this is a good point Joel. Dead people do vote.
That's a good point. Hey, just remember the only vote that actually matters is your dollars.
Bam. Don't get it confused. Okay. He needs 10 here. 10 true. You think he can snatch his vote
matters, bro? That's let's go. Matthew 205 on the bar. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.
If Kamala gets elected, I'll agree with you, but if Trump gets elected
and your ballot vote, a hundred percent matters.
Dude, they're all going to get elected as they should, as they will.
What are you talking about?
Stop it.
Stop it.
Trump is not part of this.
Yeah.
Oh, there's one.
No one counts as four.
Just get one more, dude.
Hey, what do you think his max snatch is?
Probably 210. Two, two, four, five.
He just PR'd.
Three, two, one.
Good job.
Valuant effort.
Valuant effort.
Yeah.
He was close.
Hey, dude, what is your max snatch?
240 oh
Good run at that great job, Matthew. Yeah, that was good. You saved it
Hey, Matt, do we have your um, will you text me your name and address so we can send you a case of fit eight?
Yeah, I
Need a man. Thank you.
Anything you want to say?
Thank you. Is that the gym you coach at?
Say again?
Is that the gym you coach at? Yeah.
What's the name of it?
It's Norman's Gym
Sleeper Athletics.
And are they an affiliate?
No, we're not.
The other times you've competed on KillT Kill Taylor, you've been in your garage?
Only for one. The other one I was in here.
You weren't here. Okay. All right, dude. Great job. You too, man. Love seeing you, dude.
All right. Thank you.
Matthew, a staple on the Kill Taylor show, saving the show.
Yeah, that's a good guy.
Sent him two cases of fitting.
He's the fluffer.
All right.
Not back to PFAA.
Get that out of here.
Who?
What?
It was.
I heard you just said, Zuccarilla.
They got murdered for no reason, dude.
Come on.
Oh, really?
Why did they kill him?
Because a child was launched into the freaking pen.
Launched?
Yeah.
And Harambe just slung him around like a...
Yeah, and then they murdered the gorilla
because some parent was incompetent.
Harambe just sat there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Harambe didn't beat the shit out of the kid?
No.
No, Harambe protected the kid.
Yeah. Look at that. That's crazy. Wow, Can we show the video wait and they killed him? Yeah
Why you knew here the play?
We're afraid if they use like a tranquilizer dart that he would go nuts and kill the kids. So they just killed him
If we view people don't know this that's like the one thread that started unraveling everything in the past 10 years. Like the first viral story of life.
Wow.
Yeah, dude.
Was that bigger than Columbine?
Yes.
Yeah, dude. Killing Harambe?
No, I don't think so.
It's like and show's over.
Ring of Hobbite killings afterwards or just the one? I mean, really?
How can you value the life of one?
Let's play this. I don't want to, I want to see this. I want to see this. I want to see
this.
I want to see this.
I want to see this.
I want to see this.
I want to see this.
I want to see this.
I want to see this.
I want to see this. I want to see this. I want to see this. I want to see this. I want to see this. the ring of Hombi killings afterwards or just the one I mean really
value the life of
I don't want to I want to see this I want to see that I mean they don't show that really getting killed. No, but I want to see the kid in the
corner there. Yeah, yeah. It's cool. I've watched this probably 500 times.
Is the kids trying?
This is my dude.
He don't mess with Harambe.
So he's just protecting the kid?
Yep.
So he actually does run with him.
Oh shit!
Oh shit!
Put him down.
Put him down.
Sevan, get out of here. No way.
Thank you. If that's your kid, you're fucking loading up the shotgun, dude.
Yeah, if that's Sevan's kid, he's not in the fucking gorilla pen.
Put him down.
Look at that. All I just keep staring at is that gorilla's ass is fucking amazing.
Yeah, dude.
That's his fucking ass.
Whatever.
Oh my God, not around it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. So how did the kid get in the pen. Oh, hey, how did the kid get in the
pen? Because the parent was like, I'll get ice cream or
some shit. Probably on their cell phone.
Oh, wow.
It should put the parent down with the fucking gorilla. Let me
tell you something that a Democrat would say, couldn't they
just shot him in the leg?
No, with the fucking gorilla. Let me tell you something that a Democrat would say couldn't they just shot him in the leg? This shot him in the leg.
They just shot him in the leg.
Seven 321 go. What? Ooh, this
is better as a Harambe or
Spiegel Harambe.
Harambe. Wow.
on base. Oh, Harambe. Harambe, Sui-ki. Sui-ki.
Oh shit.
Wow. That's crazy.
Wow. Chris Measurfield,
no, he didn't do that. The child made it up.
Oh my god. This show, this show
here, we tell you how we really feel. All the other shows
are bullshit. Imagine being that kid.
That would be so cool.
And everybody's gonna hate you cuz you killed her on bay your shoulder your shoulder girdles fucked up forever from me
Ripped to shred
That's crazy, oh wow better tits sporty bet
I bowed in this one because Harambe don't have any as a male gorilla.
Harambe has fucking pecs of a Greek god though.
I bet he's a good point.
If the gorilla was white, they wouldn't have shot it.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
They're extinct at that point.
The Albino gorilla is like, I wonder if they would have been like, hold on now.
We only got a couple of these left.
That's what I'm saying.
You can't kill it in a gorilla. There's kids everywhere. would have been like, hold on now. We only got a couple of
these left. That's what I'm
saying. You can't kill it in
the gorilla. There's kids
everywhere. Better Dick
Harambe or Panera.
Every answer is nobody. Nobody
can answer. I'm going Panera.
That thing's like a foot long.
I mean, that's like Subway.
Subway used to serve. You guys
want to let one more guy go? You guys want to let one more guy go? Yeah, this is how we lose our money every time. Let's roll. Yeah
Not like we got away with it. We have the ghost of Harambe calling in
Who called in had a gorilla suit on a tie
I don't know what's going on. Oh
Cool, I got tagged in another real life.
Frank.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
Did someone send?
Did I send?
No, you did not.
No, you did not.
Hey, did I send someone the link?
Oh, oh, it's not.
Oh shit.
Look at this.
Matthew's back.
It is the dude warming up behind him.
Yeah.
Okay. All right. You're pretty solid. If we're being honest. Hey, a moment of prayer, please. look at this. Matthew's back. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Hey, it's okay. Caleb was sipping fit aid. Oh, he was sipping sipping dick. It was a
fitting break. Hey, that better ask around Bay or this guy. Who's the coach in Europe
who goes yellow hosta? Oh, Andre who day? Yeah, that's like a low rent Andre Hude in the left there.
I didn't see him.
Oh, it is. Oh, it is. It's like a skinny Hude.
Skinny Hude.
That should be a drink.
Who is the tweak in the gray shorts somebody said?
Kendall Jenner's up.
Taylor got off in 56 seconds.
Oh, this is, I hate this guy's haircut. This is I hate his haircut.
This is the guy who's got that like buzz on the sides to make it look like you have a
mullet, but it's too short to really be one.
Oh, he's fucked.
This guy's been saving his money for five years to buy a step side.
He's on pace.
He gets plowed from the rear.
Now you're not on pace.
You're going to want to do something. the- the- the- the- the- the Hey, are you guys retarded or what? Yeah, that has nothing to do with money. Okay, nine
This is the 13 people
ten
Three more and chill eleven
What's the time at 38 12
the time at 38. 12, 12, 40. Get one in the bank buddy. 13, get one in the bank buddy. Get 16. He's gonna need 17. He's gonna need 18. 14. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
He just awed himself in the rear end. This guy guy definitely this guy looks like he gets his chest pinned into the bed with his butt
sticking up and just
Yes, so good visuals on these things like that imagery yeah, I do hands pressed into his mid back like oh
Turns out Taylor actually writes like gay porn books
out Taylor actually writes like gay porn books and we guys fuck somebody's got hands on his on his mid back right now dude oh my goodness look how happy
Matthew is to see someone else get out on this bar too. He will.
He got to make up.
I would.
I go touch and go three.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At 75, 95, 115.
Because you know you're not getting that 205.
No because yeah, I would save up.
I go five touch and go at 205.
A hundred double unders.
Then you got to do a bunch of snatches and then two minute mark.
You got to do another hundred double unders with a bunch of more snatches and then another
Two minute mark after that four minute mark you do another hundred double under this is more accurate This is more accurate you say instead of gable
You should call it elementary school love stories because that's what they really are these days one one
He needs nine. He needs eight to tie Taylor
Let's go, buddy.
He's hating life right now.
He's so blind.
Hands on knees.
Four.
That's a power condition, dude.
You're doing great, man.
You're on pace.
Five.
So one more now.
Wow, where's this fucking?
We can't see the clock.
280p. We got six. Oh, he's not getting eight. Where's this fucking can't see the clock to ADP.
We got six.
Oh, he's not getting eight. He's not getting more.
He's not getting a no.
Don't you.
He's going to take a rest.
30 seconds.
Dicks. Oh, no.
He needs a channels in her room.
That dumper, dude. Look at that thing
I think he got six or seven you guys Taylor's not normal dude. Taylor's not normal
Hey Taylor, if you're in Florence, try the besteka a la Fiorentina
An amazing wood-billed T-bone steak pair it with a Tuscan wine and enjoy Lizzie to your fullest. Sorry, can't eat that there's sugar in
it. No, I can have this. I can have the T bone and I can
relapse on the wine or I can but relapse on the wine.
Oh god, guys. Fuck, fuck.
The lab Taylor is abnormal. That is correct.
was fucked.
The lab Taylor is abnormal. That is correct.
Love you guys.
What's his name? Kendall?
Alex.
Hey, Kendall, send us your address. We'll send you a case of FIDE. That's all you need to be Taylor you one case of FIDE.
Hold on. Final minute all you need to be. Taylor you one
case of FIDE. Hold on. He's got
his final minute at the two oh
five bar. Oh no. He's only got
twenty seconds. Yeah I don't
think he's gonna get one. You
could do it buddy. No dude he's
got like forty five. Yeah he's
got forty seconds. I know but
he does not. He doesn't need
twelve reps or something. Three plus. No. Yeah. He needs 12. He's gonna go touch and go. Wow. All right.
All right. Good. You're gonna have to do one every two seconds or some ****. Oh, Kendall.
He needs 10 to tie. No, he needs more than 10. He only got four on that last round in a Taylor. You got six. You got six and four. Oh, nice save.
You got one more. Come on, buddy. You got it.
This is the one that throws your back out and ends your crossfit career. Oh my God.
That was a good rep. Yeah. Damn. Nice job. Oh, you know the full distance here.
Good job. Bold strategy. What does that shirt say? Oh, that's fucking gay.
I never did. You did it. Crackhead in it.
Did you prove your strategy? If you could go back, would you have done a little bit less than that first round or would you've
tried to do more strategy? Well, my real strategy,
you wouldn't have done class right before. Right.
The excuses start Something like that.
Yeah, would you have one a different a different airwave
to probably like the red one
with the green one green one
here.
Hey, have a have Matthew send
me your address and we'll send
you a case of FIDEI dude.
Thanks for doing this.
Thank you.
On Instagram. I'll send you a
dick pic.
There you go.
Hey, I was kind of mean to him. I was kind of mean to him.
Nah, he yeah. Yeah.
Alone if you worked out. Yep. The older brother.
I got a balance I got a pack for Italy.
flying out.
And
State Farm Patrick Mitrovich. Thank you for the 500 bucks. Thank you State Farm, Patrick Mitrovich.
Thank you for the 500 bucks.
Thank you last week for 500 bucks from uplift.
Next week, the prize money will be $1,500.
You have to assume it's going to be some sort of hotel room, something workout.
We have no idea.
It's on Friday, right?
Soon as the times I don't remember them, but you got to send that to me again.
So man, Friday is going to be packed full of shows, CrossFit Games update show.
Love you guys.
We have some deep insights from what Rogue will be doing in Scotland.
And Taylor will be doing the workout, the Kill Taylor workout from Italy.
Derek Rose is going to be on the show.
Derek Rose is going to be on the show. Yeah, it's going to be crazy.
Caleb, thank you.
All right. We'll see you guys tomorrow or sometime soon.
You'll be on tomorrow.
Are you going to be on tomorrow?
Are you doing a show tomorrow?
Oh, I don't know.
I'll have to go to a tennis tournament in the morning.
Yeah, something will happen tomorrow.
Do something.
We always do a show.
We do show every day, right?
Yeah.
Eaton Beaver, tell the boys a good luck from all of us.
Good luck, Ari. I wonder if John is tell the boys good luck from all of us.
Good luck, Ari.
I wonder if John is going to do his church show with Glinton.
Yeah.
Is that like mass?
Because it's on Sunday?
Yeah.
Do they do that every week?
I think they've started to.
Yeah, it's been a couple of them that they've done.
Remember, if you don't go, if you don't, how should I support the affiliates?
What can I say to support the affiliates?
I'm going to say if you don't go to affiliate, you're a jackass, but I don't go to an affiliate.
That's fine.
Do as I say, not as I do.
Yeah, do as I say, not as I do.
Affiliate contest, video contest, $5,000 for first place.
It's so easy to win.
I can't believe more people haven't entered, but.
I wonder what you would look like
if you went to an affiliate.
You know, cause you look at certain way
based on the workouts you do.
Right.
I wonder if you'd look different.
Yeah, I'd get more buff.
I just assumed doing all like burpees and stuff
was what a normal gym did.
I had no idea what CrossFit was or anything like that.
My dad went to this gym for seven or eight years and he brought me there.
The more and more I did, the more I got better at it, the more it started to come enjoyable.
Maybe it's just because you talk to so many people in here,
so you get more confident talking to new people and getting to know new people.
I've become way more talkative since I've joined and way more like myself in front of other people.