The Sevan Podcast - Lindsey Cantu | Creator of BirthFit
Episode Date: March 16, 2024*Born Primitive* made _"Taylor vs The World"_ happen, shop today and *use code BPOPEN20* https://bornprimitive.com/ *My Tooth Powder "Matoothian":* https://docspartan.com/products/matoothian-tooth-po...wder 3 Playing Brothers, Kids Video Programming: https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- *Partners:* https://cahormones.com/ & https://capeptides.com - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE CONSULTATION https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://www.vndk8.com/sevan-podcast - OUR SHIRTS https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER ------------------------- ------------------------- *BIRTHFIT PROGRAMS:* Prenatal (20% off with code SEVAN1) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1621968262?attrib=207017-aff-sevan Postpartum (20% off with code SEVAN2) - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/workout-plan/program/mathews-program-1586459942?attrib=207017-aff-sevan ------------------------- Taylor Self, owner of Sentinel Training and 2 Time CrossFit Semifinal athlete, takes on the 18th Fittest Man on Earth in 2023, Colten Mertens in CrossFit Open Workout 24.3. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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a baby hey troy got a baby i do how old's the baby six and a half months
yeah baby's name this is vera jade uh say it again beard vera v-e-r-a oh vera vera vera vera
yeah hey whenever i tell um you know i live in in California, so there's shitloads of Mexicans here.
It's like I'll be like I'll be at Starbucks and I'll be like, hey, what's your name?
And I'll be like, Sevan.
They're like Esteban.
And so I just did that.
I heard your V as a B.
All those years of Spanish in school.
Vera.
Vera J. Cantu.
Oh, my goodness.
Vera, is that a girl's name?
Yes, it was my grandma's name.
Did you know you were going to name it after your grandma?
The baby after your grandma?
No, we didn't even know if we were going to have a boy or a girl.
It was a surprise all the way up until the moment.
Yeah, yeah.
You're like, oh, penis, vagina.
All right.
Yeah.
But it's funny.
The only name Lance and I could agree on for a girl
was vera jade and so we kept that on our list throughout the whole pregnancy and when she was
born lance caught her i was like what's her name and he said vera jade oh that's awesome you really
that isn't it and were you like surprised that that came out of your mouth when you said what's
her name were you like what are you doing asking him like you were that that came out of your mouth when you said, what's her name? Were you like, what are you doing asking him?
Like you were like having this out of my brain.
Yeah, I didn't even know what I was doing.
My sister, geez Louise.
When my wife had Avi, I just remember the first thing she said.
She looked at me and she goes, I did it.
And when I tell her about it, she's like, I really said that?
I'm like, yeah, you looked right at me and you're like, I did it.
I was like, yeah, you're a badass.
Yeah, I think I said, Lance would have to confirm,
but I think I said something like, holy shit.
That was wild.
Where did you end up having the baby?
We had Vera, or I had Vera, on our back porch.
How did you end up outside?
You know, whenever I visualized my birth and like thought about what I wanted,
I knew I wanted to be in nature or have nature like in some form or fashion show up in my labor
because I probably walked like anywhere from two to five miles a day and then was in the sun
so much during my pregnancy. Yeah. Yeah. And I just felt super comfortable outside.
So Lance and his dad built a deck on our back porch and that's where we put the tub. And
I think it was way into active labor that I was like, can I get in the tub now?
And I just walked outside and got in the tub.
And you were in the tub when the baby came out?
Yeah, she was born in the water.
Do you have neighbors?
Yes, and they probably heard me.
At one point during my wife's first birth, she was pretty loud.
And then it was the middle of the night, two or three in the morning.
And the neighbors came over.
German exchange students from UC Berkeley.
And the guy knocks on the door.
And the midwife answers.
And he says, is everything okay?
I thought it was really sweet that he came over.
I hear all these noises.
And they're like, yeah, someone's having a baby in here he's like okay i don't need any food and you know it's crazy not severely but
a little bit i felt like we were doing something illegal totally like we're making meth in here
get out you know i didn't think about it but after the fact lance was like i asked him i was like what
was i loud do you think the neighbors heard me he was like oh yeah for sure
how cool yeah you um have this remarkable video that i watched twice um with my wife uh last night and it's it's pinned on top of your instagram
i'm like which video and it really it really inspired uh a lot um oh oh sorry not on that
one uh sorry caleb it's on the birth fit one yeah and and i want to play it it's the um sorry
caleb i didn't even send you my notes.
It's the it's the second one. And she's walking and talking to the camera. Yep. There it is.
Oh, yeah. I want to play this. There's so much in this that's inspired so much about me.
Let's let's go ahead and play this. Here we go.
So after I recovered from the wounds of liberal feminism and got clear on my values and desires,
I found my king, my now husband, and we got in action in creating the life that we desired.
At 40 years old, I conceived and gave birth to our precious baby girl.
All natural, birth was on the back porch
it was amazing as you know and people often ask me do I wish I would have had
my baby girl earlier yes the answer is yes and I would probably have ten kids
if I would have done this sooner however that's not my life's journey and I would probably have 10 kids if I would have done this sooner.
However, that's not my life's journey.
And I would not know all the things that I knew and all the life lessons.
I would not have those under my belt going into this birth experience.
So I might have had a completely different birth experience than the pure bliss, magical back porch birth that I
had. So it probably took me 10 to 15 years to literally get birth fit, to literally get my
head out of my booty and start to live in a way that is very intentional because we birth how we live.
So after I recovered from the wounds of,
it is,
um,
I told my wife,
I'm like,
Oh my God,
it's,
it's us in tech.
You're in Texas,
right?
Yeah.
I told my wife,
it's us in Texas.
You know, my wife had her first child at 39 and then the twins at 43.
And, um, and then the twins at 43.
And we've had that conversation also about we would have 10 kids, probably if we would have started earlier. But also, obviously, no regrets. We wouldn't be the people that we are.
Absolutely.
Where were you born?
I was born in Houston, Texas. In a hospital.
Of course.
That's the only way to do it.
And were your parents educators?
They were.
So my mom was a realtor at the time.
And right before that, she was a chemist at Levi Strauss.
My mom's very smart. My mom's very smart.
My dad's very smart.
He was in home building.
But they were very standard American, you know, go with what's being told to the middle class, you know.
And having a hospital birth is safest.
And what I came, like, long story short, what I found out
was that I was actually born. My mom went into labor early at 36 weeks. She went into the hospital
and they kept her with medication, trying to hold, hold out till 37 weeks. And she just had
a really traumatic birth experience with me. And I didn't really even know that till this
year, which is wild because it makes sense now how I got into birth. Birth, you know, basically
called me to do all this unlearning and then have a, you know, really profound, blissful experience.
And were your parents Democrats? Were they liberals? Did they
talk about politics around the house? No, if anything, they were conservative. And more so
as I got older and found out that they're, you know, vote Republican. But I would say my dad
grew up very Southern Baptist, which is a whole nother world.
And my mom, she grew up in North Carolina working on tobacco farms.
They both grew up very poor and, you know, put instilled a huge work ethic into me and my brother and sister.
But, yeah, they're very conservative, Christian, you know, good people.
So those were your roots.
When did you make the sort of the turn to, and I'm sort of projecting onto you, but when did you make the turn to like peace and love?
Peace, love, happiness.
Yeah, and accept everybody and it's okay.
Yeah.
everybody. And it's okay. Yeah. This, you know, this thing that liberal feminism, or I don't even want to say feminism, this thing that just liberals, the shield that liberals use is peace
and love for everyone. Yeah. When did you make that? Well, okay, so my real mom, my mom and my
real dad split up shortly after my brother and sister were born. My brother and sister are twins. They're two years younger than me. And that was
kind of not great for all of us involved. You mean when the parents break up, that's not good
for the kids? Hold on, let me write that down. Parents playing bad. And I'll say, I love both
my parents dearly, but they did not have the communication tools, the problem-solving tools to not bleed.
And I say that, like, metaphorically, bleed all over us kids, you know.
So it was a bit traumatic there.
And long story short, my mom moved us, me and my brother and sister, to a town called New Braunfels, Texas. And it's a
German town, like German roots, that's right on the river. And there's two rivers that run through
it. So in the summer, it's like bumping with tourists and people floating the river going to
the water park called Schlurban. And I would say that town, not what it is today, because it's grown like drastically
being an hour outside of Austin,
but then it was a very peace, love, happiness town.
It's about 15 minutes away
from what is now called Texas State.
But in that time it was known as Southwest Texas.
And that was a very, it still is a very party school,
like collegiate party school. And so I was exposed to a ton, you know, growing up middle school,
high school in the New Braunfels area. We snuck away to Mexico, we snuck away to Austin.
It was quite fun, quite fun growing up um and i got exposed to you know weed alcohol
everything at a young age so so is that where people started talking to you like i'll just say
some things that are along the liberal values how they couch things um love everyone don't cut down
trees um uh killing babies in the wound is a uh is is actually medical freedom for a woman.
Doing drugs is okay.
It's experimental.
That's where those things kind of, you're around those people.
Then I went to college.
I actually went to Texas A&M, which is a more, you know, you would think of it as a more
conservative school.
You know, you would think of it as a more conservative school.
But I like even now, like the schools are getting lost in all the like DEI council, you know, the liberal far left values.
And, you know, sorry, can I can I slip another word in there? I just realized conservatives have values.
Liberals, I think, have justifications.
Oh, that's a good call yeah right
they justify being racist in order to help people they justify killing babies in order to
medical freedom they just it's just all justifications they don't actually have
values that's why we they're always you can't ever pin them down you know what i mean totally
and i think i lost sight of who i was i didn't have a foundation once my parents split up. There's
no spiritual foundation. The values weren't there. That's Vera.
Hi, Vera.
When you go off to college and you have even more freedom, you're like, hell yeah. That's
kind of where I would say I got lost in who I am and who I wanted to show up in this world was through high school and college for sure.
And then so after college, what did you do after that?
What was your next journey?
Yeah, so I had no idea what I wanted to do except that I knew I wanted to help people.
And my last one of the last.
And that's the good hippie thing. I was like that too. You want to help people. And my last one of the last. And that's the good hippie thing.
I was like that too.
You want to help people.
Yeah.
That is interesting about the left.
It's whether it's sincere or not,
it's couched in a lot of that rhetoric.
We want to help people.
That's like another one of the shields that we have to help people.
Yeah.
There,
as you say,
their justifications definitely,
you know,
warms my heart, you know?
Yeah, of course.
Okay. I want to help people. I took off a semester at A&M and traveled to Africa,
Tanzania, Tanzania. And that's where I was exposed to my first bit of medical corruption.
And instead of going to medical school, I decided to go to
chiropractic school because I realized we weren't saving the world with pharmaceuticals. That was
like my first realization. So I came back and it was about 2005, 2006, and I decided to go to
chiropractic school. Can I, can I interrupt you? What was the
medical corruption you saw? What was the. Yeah. So it clicked in me. Like we were in Africa,
we were walking miles to go to these remote villages and we had an overseeing doc, like an MD
and we would do medical triage and then we would prescribe a medication.
And,
um,
you know,
the,
the case that got me,
the case that broke my heart wide open was this mom that brought her son to me.
It was probably about six years old and,
um,
had lost sensation,
a little bit of,
um,
you know,
movement paralysis on one side of his body.
And long story short, they wanted to prescribe him basically a sedative because he also had
seizures. And, you know, what are they like, it just hit me like, what are they going to do when
we're gone? Like when they run out of medication, they're going to think this boy's possessed again,
gone like when they run out of medication they're gonna think this voice possessed again that he's not healed he got worse and at that moment i realized i don't have any tools i don't know
what to do for this woman um but it's sure as heck not medication because that's not what her culture
knows that's not what her family knows so i just took her outside and I was like, I don't know what to do, but give you a hug.
And, you know, we had a translator there and I was crying.
She was crying.
And then I found the only calling card I could and pay phone and called my stepdad at the time.
I was like, I don't want to go to medical school.
I can't.
It's terrible.
It's not.
I'm not in alignment with it. You know, he's probably thinking, oh my God, like you need a job, Lindsay.
So he was like, that's a healthy response.
I like that.
I'm okay.
He told me you can come home and figure your life out, but you got to have a job.
So I waited tables for three months until I got into chiropractic school.
And I saved $10,000 and finally moved to Los Angeles because
that was the place I wanted to go. I wanted to see California.
And the premise, and the premise of chiropractic chiropractory is that the body can heal itself,
right? That's one of the, the body can feel the body and we just simply remove the interference.
the body can feel the body and we just simply remove the interference.
Let's Judy Reed. Is this the company Asia?
Bartow's wife is a part of.
Yes. Leah is our online program director for birth fit.
Oh, we found a, I have a new idea. Abortion fit.
Probably not my best idea.
Michael Lorente. Lindsay was the heart and soul of deuce gym.
She's become an incredible leader and a wonderful mother. Thank you.
Sabir and Kelly just joined.
Is she breastfeeding?
Yes.
Okay, we're going to get to this question, but give us a second, Eric.
Can Lindsay speak on the birth leadership coach process?
Asking for my wife, 10 years L&D nurse.
I don't know what that is.
And moving toward
becoming a lactation consultant eric we will get to that awesome yeah give give me a second okay
so you end up in los you want to visit los angeles and you kill two birds with one stone you come to
california and go to chiropractories yeah yeah so like i said i was lost i got even more lost in
the beginning of los angeles but is that the hive of more of the liberal thinking, right?
Yes, absolutely.
Right, LA.
Absolutely, because I was going out in Hollywood. I was meeting friends.
While at Texas A&M, I worked study hall, and I would check all the athletes in the study hall.
And so some of these athletes became security at some of the best clubs in LA and Vegas.
Vegas is only three hours from LA.
So I kept partying right out of high school, college and into Los Angeles.
And then I would say I finally, well, I got a job.
Like I always knew keep my grades up and get a job.
You know, then I can somewhat look good on paper um but still i
was i was lost soulfully lost and um i got a job working in the industry as they call it in the
hollywood industry and um i was basically graduated from chiropractic school yeah i graduated i became a doctor of chiropractic in 2009 okay and then
took a job took a job traveling the world um with a guy named tom tom cruise and um really
really yeah i can say it now because it's been over 15 years do i know him some people might
know him um it's that tom cruise yeah wow so i was working with your
husband could kind of be the latin version of that guy now you married the latin version of
that hispanic version crazy um and then i worked for a company called sports institute and i got
really exposed to like how i did not want to be a chiropractor.
What did you wait?
Whoa, whoa,
hold on.
What did you do for Tom?
Like you cracked his neck and shit.
Yeah.
Adjustments,
body work.
You know,
I would meet with stunt directors and make sure it was safe for him.
Relatively safe.
See what kind of building he was going to jump through.
See what kind of dance moves he was going to do.
Sprints, you know, depending on what was coming up in his movie did you enjoy that was that fun
i actually really enjoyed it because it was like problem solving all the time
um however i was on like when i was working with him at that moment i was on one client mostly
at the time um And that being him.
That being him.
And he was a very nice guy.
He would provide treatment care for a bunch of his stunt team,
take care of a bunch of his stunt team.
Very intense.
And his work ethic by far exceeds my work ethic um so it is what he portrays he does
seem like an absolute savage workaholic like when you hear him talking about work or you hear him
being interviewed about movies oh absolutely his commitment is like almost psychotic yeah and i
think that's what makes him great how well he does you know and he he wanted to train like an olympic athlete and um the company i worked
with worked with at the time we worked with olympic athletes and so we just you know implemented kind
of the recovery and um prep work for him that we would the olymp. Um, and he takes great care of his body. He's like super
intentional way before, you know, all these meal plans and everything came out, he was eating,
you know, very clean. Uh, Lindsay, how do you get a job like that?
It's basically who, you know, um, because, you know, to be quite honest, I probably didn't have
the qualifications. You were brand new. You were green. He was like, you experiment, to be quite honest, I probably didn't have the qualifications.
You were brand new. You were green. He was like, you experimented on him, right?
Yeah. And so the doc I interned with, he was actually a professional, like,
I don't say a professional, but semi-professional runner, athlete for Portugal and through the track circuit
he ended up at UCLA ended up in Los Angeles and he had worked his way up um and so it was just
like the right time and I interned with him and you know we would started flip-flopping
and me him and another guy would take turns on traveling with Tom or working the office.
And of course, by default, we came across many different celebrities and athletes due to referrals.
And you're in Los Angeles. Just so you know, in full transparency, that's not a real baby that was just a baby uh a fake baby brought on for the
birth fit interview as part of the uh ambiance to give the feeling that uh lindsey actually
worked with babies so we've named this baby we've named this baby vera um sarah cox miss lindsey i
saw her weekly when i was training at dog town uh Mama. Well, thank you.
Those were the days.
God, it's such a small world.
That's from Sarah Cox.
That's from another one of the show's sponsors.
Crazy.
Awesome.
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
Okay, so you have that job,
that gig for 15 years,
making sure that... No, not 15 years.
It was like 15 years ago.
Okay, okay.
So you have that job for a bit of keeping Mr. Cruises together, working with him to keep his body together. And then what happens after that? you know um and um it wasn't how I wanted to practice and towards the end of this I was also
exposed to the um CrossFit world and at the same time I started using everything I learned from
the Olympic athletes from Tom's world from you know the the industry world and using that on
CrossFit athletes and so at the, I think it was like 2011,
I was working with Hacks Pack and Lindsay Valenzuela, Sam Briggs.
Working with them as a chiropractor.
Yeah.
Okay.
Ruth from New Zealand, who is awesome.
And the Hack Pack, they're the one,
and I think her name was Lindsayindsey too not lindsey valenzuela that was the lady who during semi-finals was breastfeeding uh in between taylor richards
lindsey okay okay what was her taylor richardson lindsey taylor richards lindsey she's like one
hell of an athlete were you at that event where she was breastfeeding in between i think it was in outside of denver no um that was that was amazing when i saw that yeah it was like that was that was something
that'll stick with me till the day i die in between events she would just run and they won
yeah between events she would run off and just breastfeed and then they'd call her name and
she'd pluck the baby off the tit and then get back out there. Oh my God. You know, when you come across these athletes and like, I've been exposed to so many
athletes being at the Sandy at like Chula Vista center and through the movies and now through
CrossFit, but she, I, by far one of my favorite athletes. Oh, that's crazy. I don't even recognize her there. Yeah. Yeah. Look how big. Oh, she's so young.
Oh, really quick. I apologize. The crowd is really rude. Can we get a penis doctor on the show one day? Sure. I have questions. Sure. No problem. And we can fire some questions. She knows a lot of stuff.
stuff um by the way if anyone's offended by the term liberal let me let me just help you with this and we'll just couch it as this for now yeah liberals and conservatives let's say want the same
thing the difference is this liberals want it for the end or conservatives want it for the individual
liberals are willing to take the rights away from individuals and give them to groups
gosh so if you're if you're a liberal and you can't figure out why anyone wants to be conservative we Gosh, couldn't have said it better. under the abstraction that it'll make things better and it won't you have to you have to you
have to fight for the rights for individuals and then the groups will fall in place our our way
kills two birds with one stone yours actually for every step forward you take you take two steps
back yes there's no personal responsibility in there exactly and so if i don't mean you know
when i was liberal would bother me that people would categorize us all together, say it like that. So kind of think of it like that. We're the same. But but you have to remember, you're willing to take rights away from individuals and give them to groups under some guide that you can socially construct things better. Whereas the true conservative really wants to keep the rights with the individual.
really wants to keep the rights with the individual. Yeah. Okay. So, um, so you,
so you, uh, so you get in the CrossFit space. Did you like CrossFit right away?
I loved it. Um, you know, in my chiropractic world, people kept saying, Oh, this CrossFit thing was dangerous. And I was like, well, let me, let me see, let me try it out. You know,
it's just like, it was like drugs. Let me try it, and I'll tell you for myself.
Right.
And so I tried one class, and I was hooked.
I was like, this is the most efficient way to train,
especially as a professional, as a woman, whatever.
60 minutes in and out, you're good.
So I drank the juice.
I drank the Kool-Aid right away.
I took CrossFit Level 1. I took CrossFit Level 2. um so i drank the juice i drank the kool-aid right away i took crossfit level one i took
crossfit level two um i went on to do strongman i took powerlifting crossfit football i took
whatever yeah you're obsessed yeah and then at that time my ex and i and two others, we started a park gym.
It was called Functional Fitness on the Bluffs.
We would haul equipment out to the park and set up for a 7 a.m. class and a 5.30 class.
And then finally we found a space in Venice, California, and we opened Deuce Gym.
Oh, shit.
You're one of the – I didn't know that.
Yes.
Holy cow. Yeah, so we opened Deuce gym oh shit you're one of the i didn't know that yes holy cow yeah so we opened deuce gym in a garage in 900 square feet for those of you who don't know um deuce is i don't know if
it's still to this day but it was a place of kind of like crossfit folklore like everyone knew it
it had great pictures there was always someone who
was someone there totally the community looked really cool people dressed really funky you know
you saw someone working out in a leotard a cheetah leotard it was no big deal it had that it was it
was a really strong beautiful human beings and with a little bit of wackiness in it was it always looked like a cool place yeah okay great community whenever um i appreciate like i say lindsey was the heart and soul of
douche gym like i really really wanted to make the community everything and i would say that
chapter that i was there meant a lot to me for sure but but once again that's also the hive those there there is a group in that
community the vast majority of people there were the uh i hate to use these examples though were
the first to put up the blm signs put on their masks and um and take the injection right i mean
that's that's that's that's that community i don't mean Deuce Gym in general, but I mean that cohort of people feels a lot of – that's a social pressure bubble, that whole Los Angeles area.
What's interesting, you say that.
One of my best friends is still there at Deuce living in Los Angeles because she has a few businesses there.
There's a few businesses there.
But other than that, I lost a lot of friends initially from that douche gym bubble, from that L.A. bubble.
Because after two weeks of sitting at home for the scandemic or plandemic, whatever you want to call it, I was like, okay, this is horseshit. Like, this doesn't make any sense to me.
So I started calling it out.
And, you know, people didn't like that do you remember
what the first thing that you saw was where it made you go that something's not right this this
seems weird well um this can't be accurate it was just an eerie feeling of and at that time, I lived on East 2nd Street in Austin.
Like I just moved from L.A. back to Austin.
Which is another hive, which is kind of another weird place, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'd been there for about two years, but everything shut down.
So even when I went on walks, it was like eerie feeling.
And as somebody that grew up with asthma, I was like,
this is not a respiratory thing. This is like a metabolic thing. This makes zero sense. And it
just, the more I saw on the news, if I would watch the news, you know, it just didn't add up.
And for me, like one of the things that are like tracking the cases instead of the death rate, um, that was bizarre to me. And there was no, no zero mention of prevention.
Yeah. That was weird. That's really weird. That's still weird to this day that it's not mentioned.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, those things kind of didn't add up to me. And then when I started, um, I basically was like, okay, I need to get out of Austin.
People are weird.
They're not living their lives.
And I went South.
I went to new Broncos where I grew up and I would play around and people were just living
their lives like normal.
You know, they, they had, they had seen through the bullshit.
Let me, let me show you this article, by the way, that came out today just in, I don't know, to beat a dead horse.
This is from the Australian health minister.
We believe it's time to stop using the term long COVID, said Dr. John Garrard,
Queensland's chief health officer who oversaw the newly released study.
They wrongly imply there is something unique and exceptional
exceptional about longer-term symptoms associated with this virus he explained
yeah so there's no such thing as long covet
if you didn't know if you didn't but stefan i've had it for a year yeah that's because
you're just sick for a year because you're eating a canola oil and lollipops.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you go back to your home town and that was refreshing for you that you,
yeah, I would drive.
It was only an hour, maybe 45 minutes.
And there's this jujitsu gym that opened up and, um, Rob Wolf and Kirk Parsley.
I don't know if you know them.
They taught me.
I know Rob Wolf, of course.
They talked me into going.
That's when I started jujitsu.
Nobody,
I would say,
people that do
jujitsu just
shit on all
of what the government said about
COVID because you're wallowing around
and people
sweat their saliva. Like it was awesome. You know, it's crazy though. You know,
it's crazy though. Lindsay in Los Angeles, the jujitsu community embraced COVID full,
full, uh, Oh my God. Good. They still couldn't break out the Los Angeles community. Yeah. It's
so trippy. And obviously where I was at in santa cruz uh the majority of it embraced it
also they would they kept the gyms open but the coaches they would ask the coaches and teachers
to put on masks i mean my kids i didn't let my kids wear the mask yeah but there would be kids
out there and i i still go to tournaments where there's kids wearing masks no yes i'm gonna go
to one saturday and i'm gonna see it like oh just, so just a side note, I just had a new patient at my office and she brought her son
in probably around nine years old now, but he was in the kindergarten class in 2020. And he,
when they sent everybody home, the kindergartners got iPads. That's how they started learning.
home the kindergarteners got iPads that's how they started learning and then when they returned to school the kindergarteners had masks so now this
kid is in speech therapy and trying to figure out how to communicate
effectively what bedwetting because of stress and you know trying to do the
nervous system based chiropractic care to supplement everything.
So that was the freaking kindergarten class.
Like, that just makes me so sad.
I saw something that more than 50% of a kid learning how to speak is through lip reading.
It's not even auditory.
Facial expressions.
Yeah.
Say it again.
The facial expressions, watching the lips move, like all of this basically from the nose down and so when you cover the teachers even if you keep the kid
unmasked you shouldn't have kids around people who are masked period yeah yeah yeah i had a friend he
got an exemption for his kid in school at the preschool his kid was the only kid who didn't
wear a mask and his kid still got all the learning disabilities that all the other kids got in the school because the teachers
and students were masked what are you doing fascinating okay so so you're there and uh
so you're there and when do you meet um when do you meet lance when i moved back to texas
oh so right away you meet him well Well, I met him actually in 2020.
So, um, officially like in person in flesh, um, you know, have you started birth fit at this point?
Yeah, I started birth fit in 2013. Okay. Let's go back there. Sorry. Why did you start? Let's
go back there. Tell me about birth fit, the birth of birth fit. Yeah, so by this time, we had moved into the gym.
I was a chiropractor, and I became a birth doula.
And so I had seen my first birth through a patient client that wanted me to attend her birth.
And, you know, for me, that was the switch.
I was like, this is the olympics this is
sorry this is the crossfit games this is everything the baby's not um stressing me at all
so don't worry it's zero i gotta try to keep her face out of it for dad yeah vera isn't um it's not
affecting me at all your your picture is so choppy that we can't even see the
baby just so you know oh okay yeah your internet's so shitty that we are only listening to you
um so yeah i started birth fit basically where the intersection of the chiropractic world the
fitness world and the birth world came together. And that was,
I just started sharing my experience,
like training women in the birth scenario,
misconceptions that I would hear like with from midwives or obese,
like,
Oh,
don't lift this or stop doing,
you know,
don't get your heart rate above certain,
certain 120 beats per minute stop doing, you know, don't get your heart rate above certain, certain 120 beats per minute.
And, you know, all of that was just kind of,
I just started digging in and I was like, wait, this doesn't sound right.
You know?
And then did you come up with this idea of birth fit? Like, was that you?
Yeah. So I was just kind of like messing around and I was like,
we need to get women literally fit for birth,
ready for birth mentally,
physically,
emotionally,
spiritually.
And it's more than just physical.
It's mind,
body,
soul.
And when they're ready for the birth experience,
they're literally birth fit.
And so that's, I kind of started as my own self
journey, like, okay, what do I need to do to be birth fit? And so then I started exploring my
cycle training with my cycle. I'm using the fertility awareness method, I got off birth
control. And that's a whole that's, that's, that could be a whole other podcast, just talking about how depleting of nutrients and vitamins birth control is and subduing hormones, pheromones, things like that to really even make you choose a wrong partner or go down that route.
Like, you know, go down that route.
I've been hearing more and more of that.
Are there legs to that, that basically you become attracted to a different partner?
Totally, because your pheromones are different.
Wow.
Yeah, and smell is a big thing when you're choosing a partner,
when you're, you know, trying to make love, things like that.
Yeah, you know what's crazy you say that is um i was my wife is the only woman i've ever known who's like talked about my smell and like
she'll she'll just she just smells me like she'll just come by me and take a hit she's done that
for 20 years you know just like walk by me and just take a big old whiff off me like i'm like
i'm some cocaine or something you are to her for sure yeah it's crazy
yeah that's why i tell lance i'm like you're smelling fresh today
yeah isn't that isn't that a trip um okay so so like any good scientist you start experimenting
on yourself it's funny you see that with just a lot of uh a lot of people of people in my sphere, a lot of great people. I
mean, that's what they do. They start, I had this guy on who's only eating raw chicken for a hundred
days and I just love him because he experiments on himself. It's wild. It's a, it's a wild
Instagram account. You should check it out. I mean, he's basically debunking the bacteria thing i mean okay you know what i mean like hey if you're healthy like there's bacteria in all of us
like yeah you know i mean you were probably raised the same way i was you can't even touch chicken
with your bare hands right yeah but yeah this guy the raw chicken experiment guy that's crazy
i know it's so great and with the cool thing too, he's not even like,
he's nothing like the liver King. You know what I mean? He's not like some big buff guy.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he mostly, he doesn't, he just does that for Instagram. He mostly just
stuff raw. Okay. So, so you start birth and when does it, when does it actually like you
start taking on clients and you're like, oh, man, this thing has legs.
I personal trained clients right away.
And then I started doing small groups for, like, the prenatal education stuff.
And, like, before that, I was teaching hypnobirthing.
So I started teaching hypnobirthing and childbirth education before.
That's the class my wife and I took by the way the hypnobirthing
class it's a great class um it was a great class and it was that teacher who told us she walked up
to us one day and she's like hey i know you guys said you're having a hospital birth but you don't
want that and we're like we don't and she's like no she's like not because i'm saying so but i can
hear with the way you guys talk. Yeah.
Yeah.
She's like, you're describing a home birth.
She read right through y'all.
And I'm like, no, we're not.
We want the safety of a hospital.
She's like, that's not what I'm hearing you say.
She said safety is relative.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
And she basically, you know, and after taking the course, you know,
she lets you know, Hey, the, um, uh, not the doulas.
What are they called?
The birth mamas, the midwives, the midwife. She said, Hey, they're going to be the
most, uh, they're going to be the most concerned out of anyone. They're not going to let you have
a fucked up birth at home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hypnobirthing was cool. Right. Right. You know,
Lindsay, she said there were a couple of things that were like the linchpins. But one of them was she said you could take a woman who's completely unconscious and her body could have still birthed a baby.
Oh, for sure.
And when she said that, I was like, that really got my wheels spinning.
I was like, wait a minute here.
And that makes sense.
Woman's body is not going to keep a baby in it.
No, like your body knows what to do
absolutely i mean you can push out a splinter it sure as hell ain't letting a baby grow up in there
to be like 13 years old okay so so you have you have 11 years of experience now wow that's
so you immediately think about yeah that's wild so you immediately are like hey um i'm going to
start working with pregnant women and you build a pretty big clientele and you get a reputation for working with pregnant women.
Yeah. And I saw like the gray area for me that I wanted to fill was fitness and movement.
Because I absolutely believe that movement is life and that we need a base level of fitness just as humans to live.
And now I do strongly believe that you need a base level of fitness just as humans to live. And now I do strongly believe that you need a base level of fitness to show up to birth.
You got to be able to embrace movement because birth is a dance and it happens in all planes of motion.
You know, you mom and baby are dancing.
Basically, baby's coming down.
Mom's dancing baby out and down.
Right.
And you guys don't stay still. It's not like a hospital where you throw your legs up.
Like the wife's like, I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to the tub.
I'm coming to the living room. Yeah. Like she was all over the place.
My wife was all over the place.
I probably spent the most time on my hands and knees.
And if I didn't have shoulder strength, like I put a face plant.
Right. Right.
shoulder strength like I put a face plant in right right um and during this process when do you start thinking about maybe did you think at this time you weren't going to have kids
yourself well yeah I never like I was somebody that was like I don't I don't know if having
kids is for me because until I became a doula I had equated kids having a baby to like birth in
the hospital.
But then when I became a doula and was exposed to a different way, then I was like, oh, okay,
this, I could do something here.
Like I, I want to explore this option.
For yourself, you started thinking, so around 2013,
you started thinking maybe I'll grow a baby in me.
Yeah. And at that time I was in a, in a relationship.
And so, you know, the conversation definitely came up.
She wants to look at the screen.
I don't blame her. Who doesn't look at me, look at me.
at the screen i don't blame her who doesn't look at me look at me um but yeah so then that's you know i was like if i'm gonna have a baby one day i gotta be birth fit so started experimenting with
movement nutrition you know lifestyle stuff sleep um, like getting my circadian rhythm in check, all that good stuff.
Hey, um, is there, let's say you're a voice coach, right? And then you've been a voice coach for 20
years. And then all of a sudden, one day you have to go on the stage and perform, but really all
you've been as a voice coach, you kind of went through that, right? So for 10 years, you were
teaching people about pregnancy and then it's like all right
lindsey your turn was that was that trippy you're like oh shit well it was it was
like i did have a little little bit in my head like oh okay like so many eyes are on me
yeah like hey you better just breathe this baby out and not feel any pain and home and yeah
and then have the baby and just walk over to the stove and stir your broth you know what i mean
yeah yeah but uh one of my mentors um yolanda norris clark she you know she's
Yolanda Norris Clark she you know she's Val Housewife on social media but um I was like how do you not let that get to your head oh she's wild by the way she yeah you know I don't
intimidate I follow her on Instagram she intimidates the fuck out of me she does not give
one one f no I would be really curious to meet her husband.
Oh, for sure.
I would be really curious how he manages that, but we'll come back to that.
I got some questions about husbands for you.
Okay.
So, so you're talking to her about your, your, your.
Yeah.
And she's like, you just got to live your life.
Like you're according to your values and your desires.
She was like, I think about that all the time because you know people are looking at me because she's
had now 10 free births at home and um you know she's like there's always going to be haters out
there um what's her instagram again what is it bell house Bau Housewife. B-A-U House.
I think it's H-A-U Housewife.
Yeah, here she is.
She's had 10 kids.
10 free births, all born at home with no assistance.
Oh, so she just squats down and gets the baby herself?
Yeah.
Yeah, she's a savage so god she looks so good i'm not a big fan of bangs but that's just a personal
yeah i cannot believe how beautiful she is and she's at it's wild
oh oh oh oh my goodness and our wow yeah look at this chick this is crazy
that's her tin so that's your lady that's your lady you what she's the one you talk to when um
yeah she's like um i definitely talked to her to her a lot throughout pregnancy and um she what there's one question i asked her i said how early
you know what's early to you or would you show up to a hospital she's like there's no reason i would
ever go to the hospital um but then she replied also that you know she's been support for women
that went into labor at 35 and 36 weeks at home and they had a great experience
and it's wild and what's what's legitimate gestation is 42 weeks 40 weeks is 40 weeks
is average but then anywhere from 37 to 42 would be considered full term yeah avi came out at 43
and i remember the midwife were tripping a little bit. Not tripping that he wasn't okay, but just tripping because of the law.
Because in California, you can't do that.
Yeah, it's pretty much like that in every state, like Texas too.
But the wild thing is, for me to ask her that, and then Vera, she was born at 36 weeks and two days.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
So you're just sitting there.
So what are those things called?
Braxton Hicks.
So you're just sitting around and then like three days before she comes and you're like, hey, Lance.
She's like, what?
You're like.
It's good.
Yeah.
No, it's like one friday my water started leaking and if you're counting it was exactly when
i turned 36 weeks uh-huh and um i knew exactly what it was and this this goes into like you know
the all eyes on me like oh god um and i'll try to you know tell the story super short but um
you don't have to i'm good i'm good i like this shit i like all the details hey to, you know, tell the story super short, but, um, you don't have to, I'm good. I'm good. I like this shit. I like all the details. Hey,
how do you know it's the water? Um, does it smell a certain way or does it have a texture?
How do you know it's your, it's just like a cloud. I would say almost like a cloud,
clear, cloudy film, but like intuitively I just knew. Um, and i was at an airbnb in new brumples with my sister
and um we were gonna have a girls weekend and um are you pretty big at 36 weeks or did you have a
big like a big yeah crazy okay okay um i i definitely was large for me. And I like basically was like, oh, okay.
My water's leaking.
Taylor, that's my sister.
She goes, oh my God, what do we need to do?
I go, well, I definitely need breakfast.
So she gave me breakfast.
And then I called Lance.
I let him know he went to work for half a day.
And then we met my midwife at home.
And this is important to note because my midwife who we had worked with throughout my pregnancy
as a CPM, a certified professional midwife. And in Texas, they can only attend out of hospital
births between 37 weeks and 42 weeks per their license.
So we meet the midwife here at the house and she's basically like,
she's like, my hands are tied.
I need to refer you to the hospital to get induced. And we're like, no,
like that doesn't sit well with us. So we sign.
And that's hard too, because you are very, at that point, you're very intimate with people.
Don't know your midwife's doing all your gynecological exams.
You and the husband sit around with her on the bed.
You ask questions.
It's a very intimate relationship. I mean, our midwives were like our homies.
Like they, like, like they would be
examining my wife and I would just be in the room always, you know, and always happened on my wife's
bed. And like, yeah, there it's, it's kind of crazy. So for her to say that, um, it would be
easy for you to go to a weird spot at that point, like feel betrayed almost for something. Right.
Even though they just, they just don't want to go to jail. They don't want to go to jail they don't want to go to jail she had a student under her and um the and she knew me um because i throughout my pregnancy i
declined vaginal exams most tests no ultrasounds i was pretty even from your midwife you declined
vaginal exams yeah oh interesting okay. Which is good in hindsight,
considering my water broke early, um, because less risk for infection. Um,
Oh, interesting. Vaginal exams cause a risk for infection. I guess you're putting something in
there. Once your water leaks, then I would say stay away from putting anything in there.
I would say stay away from putting anything in there.
Right.
Okay.
Right.
Yeah.
Um,
so we were kind of stuck,
you know, like you,
like you said,
you could feel betrayed,
whatever,
but we didn't,
we knew,
um,
like we felt good.
Like I was healthy,
everything,
everything else felt good.
And we literally,
did you own a stethoscope?
No,
I,
uh,
I do own a stethoscope, but we didn't, we use the blood pressure cuff.
I had bought a stethoscope and I would always be listening to the babies.
Like from the second she got pregnant, I was always listening around.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
But intuitively I knew the hospital wasn't the thing for me.
And we sat around, we said, okay, let's, let's call Dr. Stu. Dr. Stu Fishbein
has been another mentor, guiding light of mine. And he's, he was an out of hospital OB in Southern
California for so long. And he has a podcast called birthing instincts. And so we called him up on FaceTime and, you know, he was super, super kind to get
on FaceTime with us on a Friday evening. And I think it was great for Lance just to be reassured
by this, you know, older gentleman doc who has seen so many, so many births, thousands, like
by default in Southern California, he got a ton of multiples and many births thousands like by default in southern california he got a ton of
multiples and breach births because they want they still wanted a home birth or that birth experience
but um you know they um dr stew was their only ob option for out of hospital so his stats are
still amazing when the feet are pointed down.
Yeah. Booty down.
Booty down. Okay.
So we got on the phone with him and he was like, Hey,
you could go a whole week with your water leaking.
But I guarantee you'll have that baby in two to four days.
We were like, Oh shit. Okay.
We had nothing set up.
We hadn't even bought our family car yet. Um, so we're like, okay,
he goes, what you need to do, you either need to find a certified nurse midwife in Texas. Cause they can attend birth at 36 weeks, or you need to plan a free birth you need to get okay with doing a free birth
um and so and you had the certified one it was just she couldn't be there legally
right because she was a cpm she was not a cnm oh c okay okay yeah so you know we basically had to
ask ourselves like okay if everything went just dreamlike, where would you want to be?
And you want to be at home.
And then we asked ourselves, okay, if nothing went according to planned, worst case scenario, where would you want to be?
And we'd want to be at home.
And I think that's those are the two best questions you can ask yourself if you're trying to decide where to birth your kiddo.
And home was it.
You know, Lance was saying, you know, I can't imagine, you know, being in a hospital and having to decide between staying with you or staying with baby.
Because if we're in the hospital, I'm 40 years old, they're going to consider me high risk immediately when I walk through the door.
Immediately.
Immediately.
Yep.
And they're going to hate on you because you didn't come in earlier.
For sure.
And they're going to consider me high risk because I didn't take the GBS test,
the group strep B test.
They're going to consider me just positive for group strep B.
group strep b test they're going to consider me just positive for group strep b right um and when the baby's born prior to 37 weeks at most hospitals they're automatically taken to nicu
right and that's oh we couldn't imagine that so then they're going to start feeding your
kid shit and poking out yes yes um so we made the choice okay Let's let's we're doing it at home.
I'd run into one of my certified nurse midwife friends at a dance class the day before.
And it was like serendipitous. So I texted her and I said, Hey, Lauren, Lauren Foreman.
So if you're in Austin, she's a great midwife. Do you want to attend my birth this weekend?
And Hey, just so people know too, midwife schedules are crazy.
Getting a midwife on short notice is crazy because they have a lot of like sleep issues
and not like they have trouble sleeping, but they have to be, their schedules have to be
really refined in order to be prepared for their two or three or four clients they have.
So to get one on short notice is not, it's not like, hey hey will you come over and fix my toilet it's not like that at all
no um yeah uh they're they're on call schedules wild yeah crazy they devote their whole lives to
their clients yeah when they come to your house they have like you have to have like food prepared
for them and then they got they even like sleep around in the room and shit like they're there for three days like you got to make and that because they have to be
on their a game yep they um so lauren agreed and um she was like can i get your file from your
previous midwife i said yes um she checked it out she was like oh you're good she was like can i do
doppler listen to baby's heartbeat so she
came over this was saturday now listen to baby's heartbeat in the afternoon she was like oh baby
sounds great and by this time i was having late let me tell you lance was stoked when he heard
that lance is freaking out but he's not telling you no lance is so calm cool and collected
because the whole birth i'm freaking out but I'm acting so fucking cool.
I'm just chilling.
Yeah, so baby's heartbeat was good, even through contraction.
And then Lauren left, went and hung out with one of her friends around us.
And then probably about two to three hours later, labor picked up.
And by this time, I had acupuncturists come over.
I drank a castor oil shake, you know, castor oil.
It's going to work.
Yeah, I did.
I did a little bit, not the whole deal.
Like I put like half the dose, but I was like, I'm already in it.
Like, let's send it.
And if it's, if it's going to work, it's going to work.
I did two times the dose for my wife and didn't tell her.
Oh my God.
She had the shits forever.
Dude, it was.
And I took her for a walk away from the house.
And so she starts basically shitting herself.
And she's like, well, yeah, you gotta take me home.
I'm all fucked up.
I'm like, no, no.
I brought you a clean set of clothes and some wipes.
I had them in the backpack.
She didn't even know.
I was prepared.
And she went into a bathroom and we changed her up and then put clean clothes on her.
She's like, dude, you got to take me home.
I'm going to have this baby.
But the castor oil is crazy, right?
Yeah.
And I would say for anybody, like, if it's going to work, it's going to work.
And take it when you're already having contractions.
Like, don't take it before.
She wasn't having contractions. And it just, like, it went from zero to y'all dude.
It was crazy, but the same thing, her water broke. Right.
And she, she wasn't having contractions and the baby's been in there 43 weeks.
So I didn't tell her, but I made her a double dose and I mixed it with like a chocolate ice cream and to this day she won't eat she basically hates ice cream now i've destroyed ice cream for
that's hilarious yeah oh okay okay so so you take a little castor oil that exacerbates the
contractions yeah well i would say i was already pretty much there okay but then active labor
picked up probably around 8 p. This Saturday night. And I just go
in it like so inward. And I think I'm naked by this time. I'm either on all fours in our living
room or in the bedroom. And Lance Lance is amazing. Like he's totally my rock. He was quiet. He got me water whenever I needed it, turned on the shower when
I wanted to get in the shower. He was amazing. And, you know, if you ask him now, he told me,
you know, I was doing those hip squeezes and I could feel your body ripping apart.
And he was like, was it painful? Or could you feel it i was like no like i would not
use the word pain to describe birth at all like it was it was the best trip of my life wow wow
yeah my wife disappeared like before my eyes that inward thing you're saying like i was doing all
that stuff too squeezing her and like staying quiet and getting everything she needs but she
was gone yeah i was in another world for sure she wasn't even there it was a trip yeah not in a bad way like in a good way yeah but but but but
but you're no one's going with her no she solo journey gotta take that yeah solo tripping and
like with each contraction i just kept thinking thinking, okay, go deeper, surrender more. And then, you know, I will share,
there was one bit where it got super intense and I was on the toilet,
which we call the dilation station. And that's where, you know,
as Yolanda about housewife will say,
you can either choose to be a victim or, you know,
take radical responsibility. And I, I had to, in that moment, think I get to
do this. I get to have this contraction. I get to birth my baby. Did you prep that mantra before?
Oh yeah. I would, I said mantras every single day. So you, so you prepped that up in case like
shit got weird. Yeah. You drew from, okay. Okay. Yeah. And I think that's so powerful because
yeah, the the the contraction
real quick a distinction here you said in case you get in your head which is different than going
inward when you're referring going inward to soldier you're talking about going into your body
yeah you're you're you know you know 99 of people don't know what that is right going into the body
yeah so primal brain um more like your limbic system.
Because when you are in that thinking brain, you're not, you're not relaxed.
You're not, you're still on this planet and you cannot stay on this planet to have a baby, you know, to expand, to go to, to enter the portal of birth. So yeah, it's, I would say the mindset piece, like the fitness is
like the bottom of the triangle and then up the track, like the foundation is mindset, like right
on top of that. So mantras were so big and prayer was so big. And I would say them out loud every
day during pregnancy. Like I am worthy of the birth. I desire, I am enough.
I get to do this. I get to be a mother. Um, you know,
and I think that that was the one you use when she hit, hit the fan.
When the crossroads came, you, you said, um, I get to do this.
I get to do this. Yes. I get to, this is my choice.
I get to be here and that's powerful like
we always have a choice in everything um and then the other thing that helped me when it was super
intense was visualizing the amazing women that i had stood by you know prior that i was their
doula so i would start to visualize let's say say my friend, Ashley or Leah or Kat or whoever,
Hannah. And like many women have done this before me. They believe in me. They know I can.
Oh, believe in that's huge too, right? Lance believes in you having people believe in you.
Yeah. And so I think like the fact that I believed in birth, I said it out loud.
I made a choice like each time, each breath, like I get to do this.
Like there was no nobody at my birth that ever doubted the physiological process of birth.
You know, I think that's really important.
But yeah, then finally I walked outside into the tub and Lance was there.
Lauren was there and my previous midwife.
So it had come full circle.
Lauren had asked if my previous midwife could attend.
And I said, absolutely.
You know, we had a relationship like you were talking about.
And she wasn't nervous at that point she's like fuck
it she threw caution to the wind and came yeah she asked me if it was okay and i said yeah um
and i was in the tub and i could just feel now vera moving down and i just worked with my breath
and worked with her and she would come she would come out a little bit go back in come out go back
in and um there was a I was like on my hands and knees and a few times Lance would say stand up and
shake it out and I would stand up shake it out wiggle my booty and then a big contraction would
come um and then finally when it was time I could feel her head like i reached down and i
could feel her head and then i was like lance you better get in because we're doing this um
and it was awesome like i didn't tear i didn't you know have any sort of hiccups in that department
my placenta came out very smoothly and so once the placenta comes out that's the completion was
the baby small since it's 36 weeks like did you see the baby and you're like oh it's not cooked
no she was six like six six which is okay yeah my kids yeah my kids were six six seven six
um and she went she latched almost immediately like within a couple hours. Yeah.
If I would have waited until 40 weeks, she would have been 10 pounds at 40 weeks.
Wow.
I know.
She's a little chunky monkey.
So everything normal?
Everything was fine.
Yeah. Everything completely normal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We let her cord pulse all the way out, and then we did the cord burning ceremony.
Yeah.
We stayed in we were
really strict about the 30 days of lying in just because she was a month early what does that mean
30 days of lying in so i vera and i for sure stayed in and around the house for 30 days
oh yeah yeah yeah we got some sunshine via the back porch. We started going on little walks around two weeks postpartum.
Lance had a full two weeks off of work because he's an electrician now.
Bless you. Bless you. And people dropped off food. It was, they were awesome.
Our community was awesome. I couldn't, you know, thank them enough, but, um, yeah, we really honored the
slowest fast journey of the postpartum for sure. You know, what's crazy is so when our babies were
born, we, I don't remember anyone telling us any of that. Um, but we basically, my wife had the
first baby and like you said, so the baby comes out an hour later.
I don't know.
A few minutes later, the placenta comes out.
Then an hour later, you cut the umbilical cord.
And then the baby's feeding on the boob.
And then everyone leaves your house and you're just there with the baby.
Yeah.
No one's saying anything.
Oh, my God.
We never even bathed the baby.
No, we didn't. We didn't do anything. And my wife just sat
there and fed the baby on a, on a, we, I got us a, we got a nice recliner. That was like the only
fancy thing we got. I spent, you know, 1500 bucks on a recliner and, and then she fed the baby there
for a month. And then with the twins, Lindsay, she didn't leave the house for 90 days. I believe it.
Lindsay, she didn't leave the house for 90 days.
I believe it.
And my wife's crazy fit, crazy fit.
And she felt no pressure, nothing.
She's like, the only thing that she struggled with with the twins was the first baby was 18 months.
And she had been with that baby 24 hours a day for 18 months.
And then all of a sudden, I would leave the house every morning with that baby for hours yeah and go on walks and stuff and so she felt a little bit of a uh just she would get a little sad yeah she missed that baby yeah she missed she would miss that baby yeah but a great
time for me yeah heck yeah like i like i like i could like 90 days with my 18 month old baby just
hanging out at coffee shops and outdoor bars and just raging.
You know what I mean? Going to walks, just rate. We just raged.
We just drank and ate all day. Caffeine, alcohol and food. It was great.
Okay. So, so you, so you do that and now you have this six month old baby.
Yeah. I want to, I want to go back.
So what was birth fit in 2013 and what is birth fit today?
What's the evolution of birth fit?
Like when people ask me about what birth fit is, I say, I don't really know.
So I make up some shit.
I say, Hey, it's a mindset.
It's a, it's a method.
It's a mindset for getting pregnant, having a baby and raising a baby.
The whole, the whole thing.
It's definitely a lifestyle. And like, like what you said, it's a mindset shift. It's a,
it's an embodiment practice. You know, I would say 2013, I was just on the cusp of birth fit.
And now I fully with a baby embody it because I got to practice it. I got to try it out.
You have a prop now.
You have a legitimate prop.
Yeah, I got an extra prop here.
But it is.
It's about taking radical responsibility for your health and showing up as the feminine woman, the nourisher of your family. And, you know, part of that includes
fitness, part of that includes nutrition, part of that includes mindset practices. And, you know,
the fitness programs, I like to say are just the, they're the little avenue by which we expose
people to a deeper way of thinking, a deeper way of showing up or being in this world.
So yeah, we absolutely have, you know, intentional programs that support one's nervous system. We
have, you know, postpartum rehab journey that goes in different phases and super intentional
programs. But, you know, it's your choice what you want to do.
It's your choice how you want to show up. So all in all, it is a lifestyle practice. And like I
said, in the video you played in the beginning, we birth how we live. And those, those choices,
those lifestyle choices start long before conception. You know, they're forks in the
road that are part of your life's journey, you know, way, way before you even get to labor.
And I think that's why, you know, for me, like I said in that video, like I had to do so much
unlearning and reprogramming in order to have the blissful birth experience that I had.
Because if I had given birth in, let's say, 2013, 2014,
a year or two years after starting BirthFit,
I don't know if I would have been able to advocate for myself
like I did at 36 weeks and my water leaking you know if that makes sense
what about the advocating things cool because that's one of the things I learned at hypnobirthing
they because we so we were going to have the baby in the hospital and one of the they give you all
these tricks to advocate for your wife yeah so if they want to like give her drugs and you know
your wife's plan is to have the baby naturally you you say, Hey, can I get two minutes to talk to my wife alone? Yeah. And then you give her,
and then you walk your wife through breathing exercises or something, or, you know, try to
facilitate her getting to a different spot. Hey, um, when you say you had to unlearn,
can you give me an example of something you had to unlearn?
Well, I would say the victim mindset, the victim consciousness was a big one for me.
Can you give me an example of that?
Yeah. So like in this world, we can say, oh, that was done to me instead of for me, or they did that to me instead of for me.
And, um, you know, there was a, I used this example the other day and I hate to like,
Oh, sorry, be super negative, but, or have a darkness about it. But, you know, sexual assault,
you know, sexual assault.
There's a history of sexual assault in my past.
And I could totally say I'm a victim.
Yeah, this is a powerful one.
I'm already feeling like defensive for you.
I'm like, no, no, that was, I already want to argue your victim status for you.
You know what I mean? It's crazy. You already got me off on the wrong leg. Go ahead.
I love this. You have me so uncomfortable. Let's do this. So I could use the victim and say, oh, I was a victim of sexual assault, but I choose not to identify like that because
all the choice points are forks in the road that led up to that experience.
I see where I made those choices. I see where I could have taken responsibility and gone a
different way, turned left and start instead of right. That doesn't excuse the, the dude's
behavior, the person's behavior. But, you know, it, I showed i showed up you know as somebody not in alignment with
my values and that's how i got in that scenario in the first place wow damn dude what an incredible
oh sorry go on go on no but that that like you know whenever that the that me too movement was
happening like i could have chosen to
hashtag me too, but I choose not to identify like that because I don't like, it's like people
identifying with their disease. They're you're get, you're identifying with your diagnosis and
now you're the victim of that diagnosis. Did someone help you through that? Did you have to
go to a shrink to walk you through that? Yeah. Yeah. The pushback is like, fuck you.
You're saying like immediately because it's a really fine line, right?
Where it could be completed.
The response is like, fuck you.
Like you're telling me that me walking through the park at night means that I'm deserved to get raped.
And you're like, no, that's not what I'm saying.
Not at all.
Yeah.
But it's so close to that, man.
It's very close.
That's not something that the evening news is going to try to tackle.
No.
But taking, you know, I would say the best thing I did in my life was take radical responsibility.
Or as like Jocko says, extreme ownership, you know.
And the truth is this.
At the end of the day day you're better for that
you're freer for that yeah oh with radical responsive like freedom has radical you have
to embrace radical responsibility so it kind of comes to the question also is do you want to be
right or do you want to get what you want and And you chose to get what you want, which was freedom from – like you could defend being a victim forever.
Yeah.
And most people would believe you that you were right or you can get what you want, which is freedom from that past.
Yeah, cut those energy ties.
What shrink did you go to? can you share the name of it um so originally i went to a woman named kim vincent and she's out of ohio and she was ohio
california yeah wow what a magical place yeah she was trained in nl neuro linguistic practitioner training and so this was the first person that
really made like I could feel shift happening within within my body and so then I went on
and I became a NLP practitioner and I took global NLP practitioner training.
And Nikki, I worked with Nikki actually during my pregnancy.
But Nikki owns global NLP.
And she has trainings all over the world.
She's amazing.
What's her last name?
Nikki.
Look up global NLP.
Nikki. MLP like Matthew, Larry. Oh NLP. Nikki.
MLP, like math and Larry.
Oh, N, okay.
N like nerd.
Global NLP.
Oh, NLP.
Yeah.
NLP.
Neurolinguistic programming.
How can I be a bad hearer?
I have headphones on and it's like going straight to my brain.
Yeah, Nikki Schneider. And think of NLP like you're retraining the thought patterns in your brain, just like you retrain movement patterns.
So you have to redo those those avenues, those paths that have been created.
You have to establish new paths.
those paths that have been created you have to establish new paths i really got caught up on the thing also that you said is that your values bring you to where
you're at yeah because we make choices we act in accordance with our values and if we don't have
values then we're just flailing along like i was you? Yeah. But where did you get your values at? Like,
where did you learn? Where did you even learn what values are? Where did you get your values at?
Um, let me think, you know, I, so around the time I started doing NLP counseling therapy,
what year was that by the way? Was that, it It was probably 2009, right as I was finishing chiropractic school.
So when Lance met you, he got a pretty evolved version of you.
He got the best version of me so far.
He's stoked.
You just came right out of the auto body shop.
New paint, all the dents taken out.
Yeah, the baggage in the closet had been cleared.
Yeah, that's awesome.
He'd give you some new baggage.
Yeah.
But I'd also done something called the Landmark Forum.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Sarah Cog, isn't that crazy?
Sarah was an instructor at Landmark.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
It was big in L.A. during that time.
And that,
that helped me a lot because I started investigating reality and seeing what was true, not true, getting clear on certain things,
helped me with communication skills. I'm trying to think what else.
Were you scared to do landmark?
No, no. Yeah. I mean, it felt a bit cultish but um i was like let me just try it out let me
see what's going on yeah like i like i said earlier i i like to try things and experience things um
so that was cool i also read a book it was called loyalty to your soul that was really good
um miriam williamson's book return to love was really good. Miriam Williamson's book, Return to Love, was really good.
Oh, man.
Did you see what happened to Miriam Williamson?
No.
Actually, I have not watched the news.
I don't think since here.
I really liked her.
You know she ran for president, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, she went full unconscious.
It was crazy how many people went unconscious you know
who didn't go unconscious was tole did you see did you ever hear him talk about the pandemic
no oh it's amazing i was so proud of him yeah marianne went full uh um she locked herself in
a fucking apartment for two months like she lost her shit yeah she went off the deep end oh it was crazy that's heartbreaking yeah and and her hatred of trump is kind of crazy
like whether you like him or not it's like yeah like that's not good for you like what you're
doing no she's running on this platform of love while she hates trump i'm like oh man you're
you're a libtard like i was damn yeah oh i will say those press conferences with trump during
the pandemic they were kind of a highlight for i it was like comedy hour for me oh he's so funny
it's hilarious he's i've really learned to enjoy him yeah totally i've really learned to enjoy him
what a what a wild world we live in okay so i want to go back to what birth fit is so
birth fit is so there are yeah i but there are tools there so if you are thinking about getting
wanting to get pregnant you are pregnant or you had a baby yeah basically any question you have
it's a resource for you should i have birth in in a hospital? Should I have it at home?
Should I – if I have sex doggy style, I'll have a boy.
If I – like it's a whole –
I don't know how you predict that.
I know, but someone could be like, hey, that's bullshit.
But what I'm saying is there's no – it's a forum and a place with people with tons of experience to any questions, fair game.
Totally.
And Hey,
what if the,
what if my baby's born breached and I have to run to the hospital?
Like all those questions that people worry about.
Yeah.
You hit them up or I can't get pregnant.
You're having trouble.
Let's talk about it.
Yeah.
Um,
Oh,
Hey,
me and my boyfriend have been having sex unprotected for two years and I'm
still not pregnant.
What's up? Birth fit. BirthFit's a resource for you.
How about this one? How about this one?
My boyfriend or my husband wants to or boyfriend, whatever, doesn't want to have a baby and I want to have a baby.
Oh, then you got to talk about it.
Yeah. Is there people at BirthFit to talk to about that also yeah so we have a huge um
i would say a virtual community uh-huh and um you know lots of virtual gatherings
um hold on sorry take your time
come here Take your time. Come here.
How about this?
She's playing with sticks.
This audience is so cool.
They're so used to
all the chaos.
There we go.
No, what I was going to say was we're a virtual community.
We switched and did so much stuff online due to the pandemic,
as most people did.
So we have probably one virtual gathering
of some sort a week um and then in may i think it is i'll be teaching a live um birth at basics
postpartum class so that's coming up but say that say that time. In May? Yeah, in May, there'll be a birth basics postpartum class.
So that's our way of trying to bring the live experiences back.
So in May, the class is for women who've already had babies?
Yes, yes. What if you're pregnant and you want to take the class on what it who've already had babies. Yes, yes.
What if you're pregnant and you want to take the class on what it's like after you have a baby? Can you do that?
Well, we'll have separate classes for pregnancy.
For those still growing. Okay.
I know that it's been long, but I still have so many questions.
Let me see if I can get someone through the questions of the audience.
And then I want to go back to this thing that you mentioned, if we have time where you refer to the woman as the
nourisher, that was a really powerful comment. And I want to like, I don't know how much time
you got left. I got plenty of time. I'm more concerned about you. Cause I know that you're
holding a baby. Yeah. She maybe has five or 10 minutes left. Okay. Here we go. Um, uh, Eric
wise, can Lindsay speak on the BirthFit leadership
coach process, asking for my wife, 10 year LND nurse and moving toward becoming a lactation
consultant? Okay. Yeah. So right now our BirthFit coach course is the wait list is open for
enrollment. And we have one BirthFit coach course this year due to mom life.
Hello.
And it's a 13 module course that you complete on your own pace.
And once you've completed the modules,
ideally you get through those, you know, in June or July,
August at the latest,
then we have the live integration calls in September and October. and we'll wrap those first week
of November and then you'll become a birth fit leader or a birth fit coach
just depending on what kind of credentials you have in your past so if
you're an L&D nurse or doula more like a birth fit leader if you've taken you
know CrossFit NASA CSCS some sort of fitness certification in the past, you'll be a birth fit coach. And that's mainly, you know, to coach women moving equipment, having some sort of equipment
experience. But the coach course is awesome. We cover everything from the sacred female cycle
to sovereignty in the birth space, birth history in America. We cover obviously modifications and
adaptations through each trimester, rehab and healing postpartum. We talk about nutrition
and nourishment and then business questions like business support, business questions.
Because a lot of people do this in conjunction with their crossfit gym or
their existing business um you know as a chiropractor or physical therapist or you know
l d it's a great um i would say accessory or supplemental thing to maybe something that's
already existing or stay at home mom that wants to work part time.
Buttery bubbles. Thank you. Birth fit.
Your Instagram page helped us find a provider for my unvaccinated son.
Oh, great, great, great. Yeah. That makes me happy to hear a Braylon Braylon,
a tenor fitness competitor. Have you witnessed a stillbirth?
Oh yeah. Well, I haven't witnessed, but I've definitely, we've had people within the birth community
and in my chiropractic office.
It's heavy stuff for sure.
One of my, one of my kids was born not breathing and it was pretty wild.
Yeah.
But, but Hey, and I thought the whole thing took 15 minutes,
but when I looked at the diary that the midwives came,
they got him 90 seconds after he was born, he was already breastfeeding.
So in that 90 seconds, they got him breathing again.
They brought his color back, but they had to resuscitate him
with like a turkey baster on his face.
Yeah.
It was crazy. My wife's like, why are you crying? Because she couldn't see the baby because they were working on the baby on his face. It was crazy.
My wife's like, why are you crying?
Because she couldn't see the baby because they were working on the baby on her back.
She was on all fours and they used her back as the table.
It was wild.
Graciano Rubio.
Lindsay's the real deal.
Take her courses.
Thanks.
He's taken, he took one of our live courses in the past.
So much appreciated.
Boys take them too.
Yeah.
Whenever we had the coach seminar, the live version, probably, you know, anywhere from two to five of the participants would be gentlemen.
Wow.
That's awesome.
Makes me happy.
Yeah, because then they would learn about breath work and stability breath and the core and pelvic floor.
would learn about breath work and stability breath and the core and pelvic floor and then they could go on as crossfit coaches and adequately coach their class because breath work applies to
everybody that's for sure and yeah and did you say and the coaching piece right yeah yeah
carolyn m a lot of women these days have massive anxiety.
Are there some women who won't be able to get to the birth fit mindset?
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advisor to learn more. Well, like I said, it's a choice. You you know we definitely have people that um come in and they're like oh i can't
do that or you know that's too hard or i'm not going to ask that or you know when they share
an example like they went to their provider whatever it gave something happened we're like
hey maybe you should seek out another opinion maybe you should get a consultation from a local
midwife or another OB.
And they're like, no, I'm good with this one.
That's a choice right there.
That's you choosing to stay in that situation.
So there's always choices involved.
But I would say there's so many tools to, I would say, mitigate the anxiety.
Anxiety is, you know, really,
you're not allowing yourself to live in the present.
You're missing out due to fear of the future.
And that was a big thing I learned in NLP was how to mitigate anxiety.
Okay. Last question. I know, I know we're at the end here.
I know you got to go. Lindsay,
women can grow babies in them and men can't
and here's another and here's another crazy thing that women can do i wonder so a man can be ready
to be a king but he can't be a king unless a woman makes him a king he behaves like a king
he attracts a king i just got inspired by this by watching your thing i never realized like it's
this thing like it's this thing like
it's like this bad thing like someone might say like a woman should not want to find her
a king she should want to um be her own queen but the thing is is like a man that's the power of a
woman she can believe in a man and make him a king i mean the man has to be ready you have to be
fucking ready but when you're with a woman who believe what does that mean to you when i say that what's it mean to to i always couch it as you if you if you find a woman who
believes in you keep her yes absolutely like that's all you need from a woman to believe in you
totally she like if a woman believes in you she's gonna love you nourish you she's just gonna uh
why is it that women are nourishers?
Why do you call them nourishers?
That's exactly what my wife is.
She nourishes everything.
She nourishes our souls, our tummies.
She nourishes like our, she's like, my wife is the great nourisher.
It's funny.
I never, I just realized that when you said that earlier.
And when you, when a man allows the woman to be the nourisher, she flourishes.
It's like the ultimate feminine expression. Yeah. It in us it's within our biology and um you know women i like to say
are the bridge between man and their source their god yeah yeah and there's nothing there's no other
proof better than that than birth you know because the woman reaches through a different portal to touch
God to bring a life earth side. But yeah, I think, yeah, if we, if we, oh, this, like, if we actually
tapped into our biology, our innate biology, and lived in accordance with that, we would have less dis-ease.
We would live more in harmony.
You know, the rest and relaxation recovery period of postpartum would be a little bit more honored.
And, yeah, the women are ultimately the nourishers.
I don't know a better word for it.
But they make a house a home you know they make um so so women just think about that for a second you can have your own king
it doesn't make you any less that's how powerful you are you can anoint the makers yeah and when you basically
as a nurse
and I think that's what I had to step into
was like
I don't want to live independent
you know
who wouldn't want a king
I want a fucking king
my next life I'm getting a king
who wouldn't want a king
like I don't want to be
a girl boss independent i want somebody to provide stability for me i want somebody to um
you know hold the the fortress down you know birth is a great example. Protect the cave. And then within that, I can be, I can express my creativity, express my nourisher, express my feminine vibe however I want, you know.
But the male biology creates the boundaries, is the protector and um the females like the the artist within it
i feel like my wife is what brings the magic into my house oh for the mystery the wonder the wisdom
the all the wisdom yes she brings the and maybe she doesn't even maybe i get it before she even
gets it but it's there because of her because because of the space she's created, because of what she's given me and the boys.
But when you were saying that, I think it's so important to realize that, hey, as a woman, you will be really happy in the woman's role.
But you're also really powerful in the sense that you also have to assign that role. You have to find your behavior will
create the man that will, that will allow you to be your role. It's a, it's a, it's a very powerful
position. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Women are so powerful. They just sit back and lean into their innate
biology, you know, life felt so like, this was a good example for me, like, trying to keep up with
the rat race and, you know, trying to be a CEO, as you have it in your background.
But living with all these, you know, masculine energies on the forefront of my life, like,
trying to crush it that way, rather than what postpartum ultimately has taught
me is to surrender to motherhood, to surrender to the flow. And I'm not even kidding. Like there's
ease that comes with that. Like sure, postpartum has been messy, but it's really been probably one
of the most fun I've had in a long time, you know, um, just surrendering to
the feminine energy, the mothering energy. And I think that's, that's hard, you know, somebody that,
um, you know, so strict with studying, working all the things before, and I maybe would have
not done that, you know, 10 years prior.
So that was some unlearning that needed to happen.
Yeah. You just described my wife after she had kids too. It's crazy.
She's so let go.
Yeah. Let it go.
Hey, Lindsay, thank you so much. Thanks for the support of the show.
Hey, I would love to have you on all the time. You're so cool anytime you want to come on i'd love to talk to you sweet well i appreciate you having me yeah and uh congratulations on the baby
give my love to lance and uh we'll talk soon all right thank you bye savann all right ciao All right, ciao.
Jake Chapman.
I like to remind my wife who her king is by waking her up at 3.30 a.m.,
standing at the end of the bed,
shouting, worship me with a crown and a huge erection.
Yeah, totally.
I do that too.
I use a Burger King crown.
Mine's a little...
Perform the standee.
God, Lindsay's cool as shit, man.
I feel like my life and her life are so parallel, like her and Lance's life.
It's nuts.
Except he's like more of a man, like electrician.
Jesus Christ.
He's a Marine too, I think.
Yeah, he was.
I put a hole in the wall in my office the other day trying to mount some lights
And I'm like probably have to pay someone $1,000 to fix it probably I could probably do it for 20 bucks
I went to Home Depot myself. Yeah, you just get a patch and some
Paste and throw it over the top. I'm just gonna ignore it. I covered it with some sounding for sound foam
That's good, too. Maybe though's what we do to the house.
I should just sound foam everything.
Yeah.
That way I don't have to look at it.
Yeah, it's a cool look.
Savon, my two-year-old loves Matuthian.
I know.
Isn't it crazy?
My kids love it.
They love the process of it.
It's so much better than putting paste on your stick.
Jake Chapman.
It's amazing how similar I am
to all these incredible guests.
Savant.
Diverse.
I really wanted to go to the skate park today,
but I got a show at 115.
We got a show at 115.
Are you going to be here for that?
Yep, I'll be here.
Is that what time it starts?
I think, yeah.
What a weird time.
What a shitty marketing strategy.
Some off number.
Yeah, that's stupid.
Who came up with that?
So 115, the show starts.
And then at 130, that's when. Who came up with that? So 1.15, the show starts. And then at 1.30,
that's when you guys, like,
1.15, I'll just be jerking off Born Primitive
and CA Peptides for 15 minutes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I liked how you looked over how excited you were.
You're like a kid that just
saw Christmas present under the tree.
And then at 1.30, Colton versus Taylor.
Talking to her makes me want to have kids.
Doesn't it?
I'm done, though.
But, I mean, I have kids.
You want more?
I mean, it would be cool.
More.
More.
If a malevolent corporate interests who want to profit from poisoning kids.
I don't know if I like that opening line.
Let's just say.
Let's say if I'm.
Let's just say this. I'm i'm let's say let's just say this
i'm going to edit this a little bit if corporate interests who want to profit off your kids
capture the american academy of pediatrics how would you know
the american academy of pediatrics pediatriciansiatricians, TV, News, Government, and Academia would not tell you because they are similarly captured.
So seriously, how would you know?
Courageous parents caring for their injured children would tell you, as would a handful of brave pediatricians who would soon lose their licenses for telling the truth.
And that's how you know, and that's exactly what's happening.
And that's how you know, and that's exactly what's happening.
This is a pretty, I took out the word malevolent and profit from poisoning your kids.
I don't know.
Maybe that's more appropriate.
But those of you who still think that vaccines and all that stuff are okay, you should just keep looking into it just remember you're here i hate to be a cheese dick but just remember hey you're here listening to this show for a reason just look into it read a book like um uh the moth and the iron
lung or whatever that book was i read or dissolving illusions just look into it just see and just
remember like those parents out there who are showing concern for it they don't have any
interest except the life of their kids and the other people they may have interest in life of
their kids too but they also have a huge interest in making a shitload of money and so just uh
just be smart they're those books are great too and they're not like um propaganda books they're not
they're not like books beating over your head the moth and the iron lung isn't even like uh
it's not even um it's just a story of the polio uh what happened with polio it's not it's not like
there's nothing anti-vax about it
then again you know that stat that only people the the vast majority of people who are dying from
covid are have four more comorbidities and over are over the age of 80 you would think that's
anti-vax information but for some reason that's not it's just a huge slap in the face to to anyone who got it
i i did see this i it's i did see this asymmetric gear seven did you see the candace versus macron
i did see that i to to be honest with you i actually watched it twice because the first
time i watched it i really the first time I watched it I
really didn't want to believe it and I kept punching holes in what she was saying and then
and then a friend of mine that told me yeah told me that they're really kind of disturbed by it
so I watched it again oh let me see go down what's it called what's the title called go the other way
right winger wow this is the
first one that popped up it's crazy right winger candace owen promotes terrifying theory of liberal
pedophile i mean that's what you have to put if you're going to put right winger you have to put
then why not call it radical violent liberal i mean right winger candace owen promotes terrifying theory that
france's first lady is trans i don't know why it's terrifying oh they're quoting her
it this is a uh
this is a trip this i watched that episode it is a trip i mean you I watched that episode. It is a trip.
I mean,
you have to take a lot of what she says it for face value,
but,
um,
it's weird.
And another post she added after looking into this,
I would stake my entire professional reputation on the fact that Bridget
Marcon is in fact a man.
Wow, dude, it's a, it is, I would stake my entire professional reputation on the fact that Bridget Marcon is in fact a man. Wow.
Dude, it is.
I mean, fuck, watch the video.
It's really hard to refute her.
Listen, though.
It's like the Michelle Obama thing.
I'm the same idiot that saw an inconvenient truth and thought global warming was real.
You know what I mean?
Like in thought that we would be dead in 12 years.
It's a compelling movie.
So, I mean, fuck, what do I know?
I listened to The Moth in the Iron Lung this week.
Absolutely fascinating.
I'm going to get the physical book so I can underline, take notes.
Yeah, isn't it wild?
The book could have been half as long it's really long i listened to the
audiobook it just went on forever and ever but man the history of the country and those moths
and the silk moth and and how it's all tied to war and like making clothing and i mean fuck dude I mean, fuck, dude.
Serious question.
Why are liberals pedos historically vast conservatives who are touching little boys and paint?
Yeah, I agree.
I don't know what happened, dude.
Hey, it's the same thing with it used to be liberals that wanted to close the border.
And it was conservatives that were trying to smuggle in Mexicans to work in the field. I mean, look, I just watched this the other day.
I don't I don't know what's happened dude
I don't know why I know exactly I agree
with you Pat it was conservative
fucking priests that were fucking diddling kids
now it's every fucking
now it's liberals the script got
flipped look at this
doses look at this one I have like
five videos like this
I have look at this shit right here dude
it makes me feel better for being a libtard for so long when i see stuff like this look
look at this look at this fucking beautiful barack obama with his beautiful voice um uh
yeah uh judy reed uh they're sickos on both sides only the right
won't condemn it the left encourages it with celebrities yeah i kind of agree with that but
check this out doses look at this look at this this is this is this might as well be trump now
talking listen to this trump now trump is saying the exact same thing that obama is
this is not going to be a
free ride it's not going to be some instant amnesty what's going to happen is you are going
to pay a significant fine you are going to learn english you are going to go to the back of the
line so that you don't get ahead of somebody who was in mexico city applying legally it's not
something that is guaranteed or automatic you've got got to earn it. I think the American people, they appreciate and believe in immigration.
Do you know that if Trump said
that you got to learn English to come to this country,
he'd be fucking hanged as a Nazi?
It would be fucking crazy, dude.
Racist!
Yeah, it would be so crazy.
But they can't have a situation
where you just have half a million people
pouring over the border without any to control it.
So we've got to deal with that at the same time as we deal in a humane fashion with folks who have put down roots here, have become our neighbors, have become our friends.
They may have children who are U.S. citizens. That's the kind of comprehensive approach that we have to take.
All right?
This is not going to be a free ride.
It's nuts.
I don't know.
I don't know what happened.
You know, all these people who are saying, hey, it's just they're both the same party and all that shit.
Maybe they're right.
Fuck.
Do you guys want to see something? Do you want to see a chick with big old titties?
Or do you want to see the guy who beat up the cops in New York City?
I mean, we can see both.
Big old titties.
Okay, big old titties it is.
Look at this.
I saw this post the other day.
This is crazy.
I want to see the big old titties.
This is... This This is, um,
this chick's a cop in Australia.
Damn.
I'm moving to Australia.
Crazy,
right?
But I, I of course would never say big old titties if it wasn't a quote from
something.
Cause I'm not a look at,
she wrote them big old titties.
What's working harder?
The zipper on this tri-suit?
What's working harder?
What's working harder than a full-time working mom
and four training for a marathon?
Jesus H. Christ.
My goodness. Christ my goodness the Internet's just for
perving out on people
those abs damn I wonder
if that's what 80% of
the people do they just
perv out on people she
had four kids wow that's nuts i'd like to see a little more depth on that squat but it's
cool less gloves so this one's not going to surprise you guys
one of the boys that beat up the cop last month you guys remember that when the cops were those
those uh seven or eight illegal aliens were beating up the two cops on the streets of new
york city do you guys remember that you guys remember that everyone remember that caleb
remember that oh i remember i'll never forget imagine imagine people beating up cops on
the street and getting arrested but because they're from a foreign country you can't hold
them because it's a sanctuary city so you let them go back into the city hey by the way there's
no republicans who agree with that so that's like that's the that's my deal there's like
There's no Republican to agree with that. So that's like that's the that's my deal. There's like that's just a that's just a Democratic justification for kindness. So that's the example I'm saying. They want to take rights away from the individual. Those are the cops that got beat up and give them to a group amnesty for this group.
So we've all lost our rights and sanctuary cities to be protected from violent, illegal aliens.
rights in sanctuary cities to be protected from violent illegal aliens that's like a perfect example because it should just be individual rights the individual rights for everyone is
is that no one no one gets beaten on the streets but once again the democrats believe that taking
rights away from individuals these cops were stomped and giving them to groups, illegal aliens. But here it is.
You can't even fucking believe this shit.
Migrant teen that was arrested for attack on police officer was arrested again
for shoplifting and assaulting a security guard.
No shit.
Just a reminder.
They want to open up your home.
So guys like him have somewhere to live.
Brand new video of the suspect in that NYPD officer beating.
He was just arrested in a separate Macy's robbery case, suspected of being involved in a security
guard beat down. The security guard outside Macy's was punched and kicked. Darwin Gomez was one of
those beating suspects. A judge initially freed without bail after the beating of two NYPD police officers
in Times Square earlier this month this is brand new video of the suspect in that NYPD officer
beating he was get a get a plane fly him over Panama open the door and push him out and and
and have a parachute just automatically pull no okay or not just malfunction
that's so so this is what makes me like like i don't want to i don't want to like hate anyone
but this makes it like i can't be friends i like the people who are putting people the people who
vote democrat are putting these people are allowing this to happen.
And this is eventually going to happen to someone's mom or sister or what is happening already, right?
People are already getting fucking raped and beaten and killed.
And like, Caleb, you and I cannot go outside and fucking me and you'd be like, wait for a cop to come by and stomp him and beat him up and then get released.
No, that's why you carry everywhere you go and i don't want to get released
i don't want to be on the same footing as these people i want to live in a civilization where
there's rules there need to be rules yeah that's crazy did you see biden like somebody asked him uh we felt bad about calling that
illegal and illegal yeah he said he regrets it not really supposed to be here but yeah i guess
i wish i wouldn't have used that term
it's illegal you're not supposed to be here you're illegal lifelong democrat surprises
bet reporter was a black entertainment television reporter with shocking confession
the politics are an ongoing debate between azad ahmadi member of the georgia black republicans
and his girlfriend a Alexandra, a registered Democrat, who at times sit on opposite sides of the aisle.
So even though you have political differences, it's not a deal breaker. No, it's not a deal
breaker. Oh, no, no, no, absolutely not. So in 2008 and 2012, you voted for Barack Obama,
Barack Obama, 2016. I voted for Donald Trump.
Hillary Clinton.
2020? Donald Trump.
Biden. And who will you vote for
in 2024?
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump.
Damn!
Holy shit.
Hey, dude, everyone knows, dude, now.
Yeah. I think it's pretty evident.
I love when people...
Hey, the only people who don't know are really young people and really old people.
Really old people because they're so fucking lost.
They still think they're dealing with the old Democratic Party.
And really young people because they don't give a fuck.
They're still like, fuck it.
and really young people. Cause they don't give a fuck.
They're still like,
fuck it.
Like they're,
they're eating Doritos,
play shoot up for shooter games and a Jack off the porn.
Yeah.
Yep.
Everyone else in the middle knows,
uh,
Eric wise.
They ain't black if they don't vote for Trump.
Yeah.
That,
I mean,
Hey,
Trump should say that now just for fun.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Hey, I'm throwing rocks too. fuck it hey uh i know this guy said that and i didn't approve but listen
holy shit
d trump
i know i have something funny i'd like to finish with something funny let's see D Trump.
I know I have something funny.
I'd like to finish with something funny.
Let's see.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is great.
This is good.
Speaking of black guys.
This is probably going to get the video fucking a ding, but whatever.
Women do creepier shit than that.
Women have sex toys.
You know what I'm saying?
Sex, like toys that they have sex with. You get what I'm saying? Sex, like toys that they have sex with.
You get what I'm saying, Nick?
Remember when you was a kid and you used to play with toys?
They fuck their toys, dude.
Adult women.
And not like a whole toy dude.
No, no, no. Just a severed penis toy.
They fuck a severed penis toy.
But we're the creeps.
I know that sex toys for men, but we can't actually buy one and have it and let you find it and then explain it.
Well, you know, it's really hard to meet people, but the boy's got his needs.
Am I right?
So I stick my dick in this rubber Pringles can.
Anywho, I sent you a burger.
That's cool. What's mom like?
They don't stop there, man. We never
make fun of them. They can fuck whatever they want.
We don't make fun of them. We don't judge them.
We don't call them creeps. They can fuck all the toys,
shower heads,
washing machines,
carrots, cucumber. We don't give a fuck.
Yeah, vegetables. You ever had a salad?
They'll fuck what goes in a salad.
You get what I'm trying to say? They'll fuck what goes in a salad. You get what I'm trying to say?
They'll fuck what goes in a salad.
Oh, my goodness.
When I was in high school,
I had a friend who would just buy a cucumber
and condoms. He was a dude.
Buy a cucumber and condoms and then just
that was it on the Walmart
conveyor belt
yeah and they'd be like and the cashier would always just give them weird looks and like he
did it just for fun just to get a reaction just to fuck with cashiers yeah that's great and he
would always find the biggest one so he'd get like a probably a 16 inch fucking cucumber. And then the, the,
the Magnum condoms.
Even,
even this is zucchini seasons coming around.
It's almost time to plant zucchinis and every zucchini.
I like when I go out to the zucchini and pick them,
I just see penises.
Yeah.
I've never,
middle cocks.
Yeah.
I've never matured.
Uh,
wow.
Uh,
Christian Kettler.
I had a friend who made a homemade fleshlight out of soup can and lunch meat.
Oh, my God.
What was that thing called?
A wizard slab?
A wizard?
Wizard sleeve?
Wizard sleeve.
Jeez.
Oh, pool boy.
I can't read yours.
Sorry.
Jesus Christ. What if you got a paper cut doing that
you can't be fucking a toilet
roll what if you get a paper cut
do you soak the toilet
roll first oh get a little wet
yeah
blunt to sharp edges
yeah
not too long
just enough make it a little squishy
alright
let me see
any other things
being with a great man what's this
please be a comedy
let me see what this is
this might be funny too
I like funny stuff.
Here we go.
It wasn't only second.
Everything else came before me and I couldn't understand
why his friends got his time, his work got so much effort,
everything in his life got so much effort and time,
but I was always put aside for years.
Like it took so long.
I just kind of accepted it because that's, I knew he was an addict.
And, but then I was like, but why can you do this with his friends?
But he can't go out with me.
Or why can he spend this money on a festival?
But he can't go to dinner with me.
I wasn't only second, everything else came before me.
You know, it's kind of crazy about this?
This is titled, What's the Deep? A Gambling Addict's Wife.
Last week we spoke to Elliot.
It was actually his wife who reached out to us about his story,
and I feel it's really important to share both sides of one.
Tamara shares what it's been like living with a gambling addict for so long,
hoping things would change.
Oh, what has been like living.
You know what's crazy?
When I heard this, though, too, is like,
if you're going to live with someone who's going to do great shit, like Hillary Froning and Sammy lived with –
I mean, those are – their husbands have addict type qualities.
The success that they have, I mean, you have to be fucking singularly committed.
Same with like musicians, right?
Like if you want to marry fucking Mick Jagger, well, dude, you're going to be second.
Fitting in with people who are doing great shit is not easy.
I had a girlfriend before my wife who was like,
just who just was always talking about settling down.
That's all she wanted to do is settle down,
settle down,
settle down.
That sucks.
Yeah.
I think she made,
yeah, I think she made the fucking,
eventually she,
we parted ways. and I wonder to this day
I wonder if she's like happy with the
route she took
I heard
something the phone doing weird shit
I can understand wanting to stay in one place
but I just I couldn't
just stop doing everything
like I'd get antsy
like I was talking to
Leaf Edmondson yeah and he was saying
he's like yeah i've been basically not doing anything really just hanging out with my kids
and stuff and he goes i'm not sure how long that's gonna last i'm gonna want to
like do something because he can't just sit still and be doing nothing you know yeah it's hard to do that
if you're if you're gonna be with someone who's great like you're let's say let's say you're a
chick and you want to marry this and you're with this guy and you want to sleep in with him every
morning and just lay around in bed and eat breakfast listen but he wants to be the world's
greatest guitarist you you have to decide you sit there and listen to
him play guitar or do you yeah you have to you have to fucking decide right it's like
you you guys might not hang out much for five or six years he's going to spend every six
he's going to be poor and he's going to spend every cent he has on guitars now listen if he's
a fucking drug addict or a gambler no but dude it paid off for Sammy
and Hillary right
their boys fucking grinded
and now they fucking they're set
they believed
in their dude they hung in there and
now they're bringing in the cheese
now they have a massive farm plot and
now they're rich
rich as fuck.
Clock, every time I pick zucchinis, I see penises.
All right.
I need to go work out.
Get crazy caffeinated.
You going to do the open workout today?
I'm going to call my wife.
I don't know.
I'm going to... Probably. I could spontaneously do it. If do it if i broke if i'm like just walking around the house
sweating do you have shit to do it if you want to spontaneously do it at the shattuckin could you
uh i don't have a pull-up bar stable enough but uh i did it this morning already i went to my
affiliate oh you did did you make it to the second round to the rest yeah i did so yeah i got through
one round and then i got three bar muscle ups in the second round so so you did seven thrusters
to 135 and then some bar muscle ups yep yeah i did so seven thrusters seven bar muscle ups seven
thrusters and three bar muscle ups i was thinking that if i could get through the whole first part
i'd be pretty happy so basically i was thinking basically what i could get through the whole first part, I'd be pretty happy.
So basically I was thinking basically what I have to do is every 90 seconds,
like in 90,
I have to do five thrusters in 45 seconds and then five thrusters in 45 seconds.
Then I have to do five chest to bar in 45 seconds and then five chest to
bar.
Did you kip it all the pull-ups or did you just do that?
I did pull-ups and then kipping bar bust ups,
obviously,
but I broke it up. I was doing six
thrusters and six and four thrusters and then
like six and four chest-to-bar
basically.
Not that I care, but is it legit
to switch? I'll do all my shit strict.
It's fine to shift your grip, right?
When they say pull-ups, that doesn't matter, right?
No, yeah. I think you can switch grip.
You can do whatever, but as long as you're going from a dead hang
and then touching your chest to the bar.
Okay, so that's my plan.
If I can get through just to, God, how are those 135 thrusters?
Did you do onesies?
No, I did four and three.
Holy shit.
Damn, dude.
My legs were toast for sure.
So you're stoked you got out of the way yeah i'm glad that i did it i'm glad i'm also glad that i got to the bar muscle ups at all to be honest
usually when there's bar muscle ups in an open workout i get like two because i'm just not fit
enough to get more of them and how many did you get you got one i got 10 total. Oh Ten bar muscle-ups. Yeah, so you finished a whole round. Yeah
Feel pretty good about that fucking a dude
No rips hands are good
I haven't done a 95 pound thruster in a while really
I haven't done a 95 pound thruster in a while.
Really?
Mm-mm.
You were catching those barbell thrusters when we did that.
Yeah, I'm great.
I'm a beast at 45 pound thrusters.
World-class.
Did 18 in a row.
I can remember the very first time I did 21 thrusters with 95 pounds the first time in fran i didn't break up the first round i can remember i was at a gym in pittsburgh
really fuck it hurt yeah oh man it hurt i remember doing i've always been able to do fran
like thrusters pretty much unbroken, but today I was,
I don't think I could do it when I did the level one,
it was five rounds of 10 thrusters and 10 burpees.
And I was like,
Oh,
I could do those unbroken.
And I got through like one set of 10 and I was like,
fuck,
that's not happening.
So that's why I thought that's why I broke it up on this one.
Cause I figured it'd be about the same.
95 pounds is going to be heavy for me yeah asymmetric gears 21 thrusters are not
bad if you stop right there i don't know man if you just do 21 thrusters yeah i don't know it's bad
did you did 60 yesterday 60 60 thrusters? Dang.
Are you doing cap?
Doing cap programming?
All right.
What about that leak, man?
That's pretty funny.
I love it.
So good. I love that people are complaining
that people brought it
to everybody's attention
it wouldn't have been a problem if nobody
had said anything about it
what do you want to do dude those people
are crazy they put it up
on YouTube I've never gotten I got 30
text messages and 30 DMs
to test with the screenshot
everyone saw it and if
you have notifications on for the
CrossFit Games YouTube channel, you're getting that
notification. Everybody got it.
So you went there and then you saw
it. There it is. It's up. Yeah. A million
people got that notification. Wait,
is the actual picture in the notification
the workout?
No, it was just like, I think the picture
was just Tola
Maracanio doing bar muscle-ups.
Or doing a bar muscle-up.
Oh, shit. Really?
Yeah, it's just 24.3 and then Tola
at the top of a bar muscle-up.
God, that's hilarious.
Yeah, so at least you knew it was going to be
bar muscle-ups at a minimum.
And then it was up long enough
for people to screen record the actual thing.
Seve, Dave said Roe is a better interview than you.
I listened to that podcast.
I didn't hear that.
God, Jake, you are such a douche nozzle.
I like you so much.
And then you fucking, you take two steps forward and then three steps back.
Do you still take suggestions on guests or is that just your thing now?
No, actually, if you give me a suggestion, I'm going to come over to your house and just shove it up your ass.
I mean, what what is your testosterone just plummet?
Yeah. Do you take suggestions? No. If I see you type a suggestion, I plug my ears. What is your testosterone just plummet? What does that even mean?
Yeah, do you take suggestions?
No, if I see you type a suggestion, I plug my ears and close my eyes.
God, Jake, were you the kid at school who was like, can I hang out with you?
Be like, no.
And can you hang out with me?
Rule number one about hanging out with me.
Don't ask me if you can hang out with me. jake i'm judging the fuck out of you right now
i um basically if anyone gives me a suggestion in the dm if you give me a suggestion in the dms
and you send the instagram with it i'll immediately go to the person's instagram and nine out of ten times i'll um oh yeah he's
typing i fucked him up right there right he's like i fucked jacob so hard right there he stumbled
back off his computer he's like what the fuck i just got toe up by a midget um toe up from the
floor yeah um uh basically if you guys send me suggestions
In Instagram I click on the link
And I invite the person like right away
Hey you know who's coming on the show who texts me
Is Jack De La Madalena
That's kind of cool right
He's having a surgery on his arm and then he said
He'll be right on I'm stoked
Yeah that'll be awesome
Yeah I dick down Jake I dick them up
Dick them down dick them right to left I just dick them
yeah that's usually what I say and then I invite someone
to come on the podcast Braylon
and then they say
god that's such a cute picture of Jason Hopper
it must be from
when he was at Clemson he looks too
prim and proper there
hey is this his way of saying I look fat?
Where's this Matoothian reel?
I look fat, man.
It's on the Matoothian Instagram page.
Jesus Christ, man.
Please tell me I don't look fat.
Please tell me I don't look fat.
Please tell me I don't look fat.
Okay, I see.
Okay, there's that one
okay oh it's because of those pants yeah yeah i guess i don't look fat
i mean i'm big right now. I'm like 170.
I'm all juiced up.
You would not believe how many times it took them to get this right.
No, that's, you know what it is?
Because you're used to seeing me in long johns and you're used to seeing me in long johns and like like a shirt like this.
Yeah, I'm not. That's those.
Those are like my who makes those are Victo's pants and like a shirt that I've had for 15 years that I never wear.
And like I was trying to be like that was at the BSI summit.
I think you were sweating when that was happening, when you were making that.
Probably.
Yeah, that Matuthian thing where you're walking to the camera,
you look square like SpongeBob.
But I don't look fat, right?
Like my face doesn't look fat and shit.
Would you guys tell me if I got fat?
You look clean.
All right.
Let me know if I look fat.
That will really –
Someone in the comments,
if someone in the comments ever would call me fat,
that would send me for a tailspin.
I'd probably have to be put on suicide watch.
Go on that CrossFit Games diet again?
Yeah, I'd be fucked.
Seven, your hips are uneven.
I'm walking like a retard, dude.
I'm walking so fast.
But I think my hips are uneven.
I think you're right.
I think that's why my back is all jacked up.
Who else thought it was a pistol? And look, my hips are uneven i think you're right i think that's why my back is all jacked up who else thought it was a pistol and look my pants are on no my pants are on crooked too
i need someone who's protecting my reputation
my persona my public persona you need a pr guy yeah i am i'm on all that stuff I'm on uh creatine and I mean not like regularly like I
didn't take any when I was there but I'm on steaks and creatine and um I didn't even really drink I
think I had one beer that I had one beer maybe a couple tequila shots or something when I was there
I didn't I haven't really been drinking at all. Look, I think my skin shows that.
Do I look different to you?
Like I haven't been,
I've drank less than 11 last month than I have.
I had a cancer scare there for fuck's sake.
He really shaped up after that.
Yeah.
You're walking like a low budget T 1000.
Yeah.
Jeez.
Oh shit.
This isn't.
Oh no.
Husky is what you tell fat kids.
Oof.
Wow.
Alex Peter's Husky.
I'll tell you, Husky, you should see Graciano.
I should have stood next to Graciano.
It would look like a little bite.
Yeah, you would have.
Not fat, but definitely wider than you are tall.
Fuck.
That's not good either.
His hands are huge, too.
Graciano's.
They are?
Yeah, he gave me a fist bump and it was like his fist
was like this.
You have big hands too, that's crazy.
Yeah, it was nuts. There were a lot of dudes there
that were just dwarfing my hands.
Jeff Martone.
Oh yeah, Martone's a weird creature.
He's like, he's an animal.
Really nice guy. How about the old
guy that fucking deadlifted 315
cold for 10?
That was Jimmy Waddell, wasn't it?
Yeah, I don't know if you're supposed to say his name.
Oh, sorry.
Old guy deadlifted
315 a bunch.
Yeah, it was
savage. In pants.
With fucking
a belt and a big old
flannel shirt on and everything
no no I wouldn't be an oompa loompa next to
how tall is Graciano
it's hard to figure out how tall he is
maybe he's significant I don't know how tall he is
probably like 5'8 5'9
he probably looks shorter tall he is maybe he's significant i don't know how tall he is probably like five eight five nine he probably looks shorter than he is
yeah i think i think he's taller than you but he's like shoulder height to me
his traps his forearms are crazy like his pieces are all his pieces are crazy his arms his triceps it's like a stronger version of john young john young has a trippy
physique holy shit yeah he does all right our thread's getting massive we have i have i feel
like i should go sit on the toilet and take a shit and read this yeah you'll need to
it's getting crazy in there on the toilet and take a shit and read this. Yeah, you'll need to.
It's getting crazy in there.
Wow.
Some aggressive name calling.
Did, did, did,
what's his name ever?
Did I kill? What's his name? did i kill what's his name jake chapman oh here we go uh uh you look like the last thing a gossan hospital patient sees
i don't even know what that means i know it's some sort of thing making fun of me because i
look like a terrorist but um oh he's at you again i don't have i don't have tiny
hands but they're um they're just small but they're not like people don't shake my hands
and like feel sorry for me because i've shaked people's hands and i feel sorry for them uh i
wouldn't call it fat dumpy god i think that's even worse. Oh, shit.
Man, that's it.
800 calories on the assault bike today.
Yeah.
I'm going to go make myself throw up in the toilet.
I haven't even eaten anything.
I'm going to try to throw up last night's dinner.
I'm fasting now.
God, you guys are lucky.
I'm 51.
If I was 48, that shit would have really hurt me.
Dude, tomorrow's my birthday.
52.
Crazy. Yeah, that's how fucked up I'm doing that to you.
I gotta get it out before they gotta be nice to you tomorrow.
Oh, and Judy sent me a present.
She sent me all the Trump shit.
She sent me this Trump hat.
I imagine they would sell that at like a gas station,
but I feel like he has a storefront now.
Who?
Oh.
Oh, look at mine.
So is the cardboard in it.
So it's not even used unless I save the cardboard
She sent me a Trump flag
It's the same MAGA 2024. It's it says Trump 24. It's crazy, dude
Hey, you know, it's crazy like being a libtard like myself like living in California
Like that flag scared me.
Like this hat scared me.
Like I'm afraid someone's going to find it and I'm going to be in big trouble.
Like I feel like I'm doing – I swear to God it's like that here in California.
Like I feel like I'm going to go to jail for having this.
If I wore that around, everybody would be stoked here.
Like I have to like hide my weed in my Trump hat.
I'd be stoked here.
Like, I have to, like, hide my weed in my Trump hat.
That hat looks like it's just weed.
My black penis.
God, that thing is disgusting.
Is that a new one?
No, this is an old black penis.
It looks bigger. I've been seeing a lot of cock lately
because my boys
two of my boys I told you their foreskins going back now
and so every day they got questions
they're so excited
listen
if you have one of these
you better vote for this dude
you're not a man if you don't vote for cock if you have one of these, you better vote for this dude.
You're not a man if you don't vote for Trump.
If you have a black cock, you better vote for Trump.
God, black cock smells good. I'm going to hell
fuck dear lord
please forgive me I didn't say anything bad
I don't think Jesus would
he's all forgiving
I don't even think it's sacrilege to say
that or it's like
Seve
you should have that Mike
McDonald dude Mike McDonald dude on from Crash
Yeah I like that guy
He's moving his family to Kyrgyzstan
To open the only gym in that shithole country
You've got to be shitting me
There's no way he's doing that
That's a fact I've talked to him about it
You have?
Yeah when I went to Crash I talked to him
Can you show me where Kyrgyzstan is?
I like his wife too.
His wife used to help me with the Instagram account.
I joke about a lot of things,
but that thing about this hat and that flag,
you have to understand
it's like uns it's like weird it's like this thing is like really weird for me like i'm like
uh okay sorry can you put uh okay uh pull out a little bit i I want to see. Oh, okay. Oh, shit.
So it borders China?
Yeah.
And Afghanistan?
Holy shit.
Why is he doing that?
Is he going over there to talk about Christian shit?
Yep.
He's going to be a missionary, basically.
The straightest thing a man can do is wear a toga, stay a virgin, and hang around with a group of men his whole life.
Wow, really?
Magnus Holmgren, my Herb Ryan friend, was mad at you over that hat.
It's not even funny, but it's so funny.
Did he DM you about that?
Karina Rain.
Ew.
She didn't like me sniffing the black cock listen someone's gotta sniff it
yeah spreading
Jesus
alright
yesterday all right uh yesterday um a bunch of my buddies and i were sending pictures of the homes we grew up in
god i hang out with some scumbags
i couldn't even find my home to send it in, but I thought the rest of them were about accurate. Yeah, mine was in a crazy white trash Hells Angels neighborhood.
I found it, but it just looked too good.
Like, when my mom bought it, it was $72,000.
Now it's selling for $845,000.
But it looks nothing like it did when I grew up there.
So I was like, I'm not sending that.
Holy shit. but it looks nothing like it did when I grew up there so I was like I'm not sending that holy shit yeah you want to see the street I grew up on
yeah
go to 970
Argenta
A-R-G-E-N-T-A
drive Pacheco
California we should look around on the street
like people would drive their motorcycles across our lawn while we were outside
neighbors i remember the neighbor's kids fought with chainsaws once
yeah there you go oh that's my name uh
wait is that the house wait no that's not my house i think it's that one yeah it's that one
oh yeah that's the neighbor's house those people were fucking nuts dude the cops were always there
those people fucking stole my sister's bike the kids there and then painted it with a can of
spray paint would ride it around and i'm like hey that's my sister's bike it was crazy
like no it's not does it look like your bike yeah that's been and there was always a car like
uh in there they must be gone because there was always a broken down car in the front yard being
working on so that's the house right there to the right not that one yeah that one yeah man they
really cleaned it up yeah let's look at the front and that lemon that lemon tree right there um no that's a mulberry
tree to the right uh near the house no right in the middle the little one looks like a bush
yeah right there my dad and i planted that wow still there yeah crazy so it's two years ago
yeah they totally changed everything we where those trash cans are on the right there we had
lawn there oh yeah they just turned it into like flower by flower by pacheco how do you pronounce
the city name pacheco yeah i used to ride my that's you can't tell but that's a hill coming
down that street i used to ride my big wheel down that hill. That's like going up there.
That kid at the top of the street,
that was the kid who like it was in that blue house right there.
That poor kid,
all the kids in the neighborhood picked on him.
He was the kid.
Like you'd be like,
Hey, open your mouth and close your eyes.
And then someone put a snail in his mouth.
Oh,
what?
Yeah.
Like,
Hey dude,
show us your penis.
Like the kids were so mean to him i
didn't do that shit i was not a mean kid that's fucked up yeah lisa mason lived there on the
corner right there she was hot as fuck oh my god oh my god what happened to lisa mason
see go right go down the house.
That next house down there,
I remember there was a guy working on a car there,
and the battery exploded on his face.
And so his face got burnt with battery acid.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Fucking fire department, cops everywhere.
God, that's a shithole neighborhood.
So those homes right there for
if you're wondering those are million dollar homes that's california
wow that's a million dollars yeah
i mean that the the home that i grew up in i saw yesterday on zillow last sold for 8.45 jeez i know it is not a good
neighborhood i mean it's gross too
uh Not unlike constantly reminding people you are homeless voluntarily in Santa Barbara.
Voluntarily.
Voluntarily.
Voluntarily.
Voluntarily.
All right. alright 1.15pm it's gonna be a wild ride today people
Colton Mertens
really the coolest dude in CrossFit
the coolest CrossFit Games athlete there is
he sits on the mountain all by himself
he does the fucking corporate cheese dick opens athlete there is. He sits on the mountain all by himself.
He does the fucking corporate cheese dick
opens and he does the cool
fucking gangsta opens.
He can live in both
worlds. He can traverse from hell to
heaven. Heaven to hell.
His name is
Colton Mertens.
Oh.
There we go. Oh. Standby. Oh. There we go.
Oh.
Standby.
Hold on.
Someone from the south, I hear an accent.
Hold on.
It's a fatherly figure for sure.
Hey, what's up, dude?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Do I have you?
Hello?
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Bear with me.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Let me try one more time.
That'll do it.
I got you.
Hello.
Hey.
Hello.
Hey, I hear you now.
I hear you now.
Yeah, it's on.
Yeah, go ahead.
All right.
Hello, my son.
Hello.
What's up, dude?
How are you?
What do you want to talk about?
I'm good.
Are you going to beat me in this workout?
I doubt it.
I don't have the gymnastics, probably.
We should do it as a partner workout.
You could do the thrusters.
I'll do the pull-ups.
All right.
Sounds good.
All right.
I can probably do that.
What did you call for?
Tell me if you feel bad for Taylor.
Taylor's my man, man.
I haven't got him all three times.
I know.
He's my man, too, but I i still uh man this is gonna be tough
it'll be tough but i'm gonna i'm gonna stick with him okay i'm i still i still got him on my heat
one so okay i'm looking for the three pete what'd you think of the podcast today did you like
hearing about births and stuff oh yeah it was good i was a
little curious i never did hear uh whether or not she um promotes water births versus natural births
or if she's good with either one or or what i was kind of interested in that yeah i think um
yeah okay i should have asked her i just made the presupposition that she felt like it was always better to do everything at home,
but I probably should have asked her.
Yeah, I hear that.
No, I was good.
I think her husband and Jeremy Thiel used to be big buds.
Her husband's been around forever.
Do you know him?
You're in Texas, right?
Yeah, I've seen him.
I never have really met him.
But I've done lots of stuff with Jeremy and Central CrossFit there in Austin.
Hey, did you watch the show today?
A little bit, yeah.
And did you see the footage of me holding the Matuthean walking towards the camera?
Yeah, I've seen that post.
Okay, now be honest with me.
Okay.
When you saw that, were you like, oh, he looks a little fat?
He got fat?
Oh, yeah.
P-H-A-T.
I said that you were fat.
Okay, good.
That scared me for a second.
I thought we were going to therapy Oh, I just got a review in from Matuthian
Hey, Sevan, this is my first day using the tooth powder
I like it
Oh, yeah
Alright
You'll love it
No, I liked your little commercial
It was cool
Okay, good
And you look good You look good man okay good
looking strong oh shit uh-oh man you look thick in the core you've been doing a lot of leg lifts
uh dan guerrero laugh out loud i planted a seed in his head planted a seed there's a thousand
seeds in my head you fucking watered him there's a full-blown tree up there yeah i can't
even remember my kid's name when i think in my brain i have to sift through all the negative
talk you're fat you're ugly your nose is huge you suck at crossfit oh yeah there there's oh
that's obvious you're thick you're fluffy you're yeah the fucking mean
fluffy i love black cock oh what's that doing here that's got to leave
oh that can't be if you need to make a video of yourself crying before you do the open workout
Hey jeff, will you what the way I do it because I live a free and fucking uh bougie lifestyle
I don't ever plan to do it
I just wait till like i'm like it'll literally be like i'll be like in the backyard working or i'll have a sweatshirt on and
Just went for a walk with the kids and i'll be like well i guess i'm gonna do it and then i'll just roll into the
garage and do it what is that how you do it or do you do you like okay 10 a.m head over to the box
i'm getting it uh depends like uh this weekend i'll just go do it but the first two I did at a CrossFit round rock. So I kind of had to plan to do those two,
but this weekend it'll probably just be go out to the garage and hit it.
Yeah. Hey, who owns CrossFit round rock?
Landon Adams. Do I know him?
Maybe he, um,
they did a post the other day about um podcasts that they like to watch yeah
and i um i reposted all those i reposted all those that was crazy i can't i can't believe
there's three people who like my podcast i was tripping i reposted all three of those all all
in the same box yeah so his husband wife and then one of their trainers, she had something else on there.
And then the other trainer was just straight up Savant podcast.
Yeah, look at him.
Look, that guy might even be able to do a man bun.
Oh, and that chick's hot.
Is that his wife, Adrienne?
Yep.
Oh, is Anne Bergeron related to the Ben Bergeron, the Bergerons?
No, I don't know.
I don't think so.
SEMA actually works, goes there and works out.
Who, oh, SEMA boobs?
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
Kuros, Kuros, all these ads were born primitive, but they've been sold out of shoes, brother.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't that great? Been trying for a week. i think you can get put on a waiting list i know you you won't be
disappointed by the way do you own a pair of savage ones jeff i do not i got some rads do
you have thick feet do you have skinny feet i have skinny feet though yeah jr sent me a picture
of like he has like 10 pair of rads
I'm like, Jesus Christ, you have skinny basketball feet
He said, you know it
I said, damn
But you know, Josh has got hobbit feet
Kind of like you do, Siobhan
Yeah, but he's paid to say he likes them
Well, he didn't start off being paid to say he likes them
Alright, if you say so
Hey dude, he's part of that whole
I know he's your buddy, he's part of that whole i know
he's your buddy he's my buddy too i ain't i ain't saying anything negative about him but he's part
of that whole but i hear you there's they got the but i try over there and yeah they stay they stay
true to their tribe and i respect that but listen i'm not taking it like like i'm not i'm not i'm
not getting those shoes because anyway.
Hey, I'll try anything. I'll try anything once, too.
But what I'm saying is, is like I don't take the word of someone who's like getting paid to do it like the way they are.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. But a lot of people love their shoes.
I haven't heard one person say anything negative about their shoes like you could find endless negative shit about Noble.
I don't find anything negative. Yeah. The only thing negative i find about rad is uh daniel brandon's attitude towards me other than that everything's good
hillary sent me a pair of nobles for doing the nopen last year he hates you that's his way of
saying oh yeah that's his way of saying he hates you this is all i got he hates me yeah if he sends
you a pair of nobles that means he hates you that. That's like, hey, when I pull my fucking pickup truck up to your house and empty out my old meth kit out of the back of the truck and drop it off on your driveway, I hate you.
Knowing 20 minutes the FBI is coming too.
Send you nobles.
Jesus Christ.
What a shit show they are.
And they're the flowery ones too.
Flowery high tops.
Hey, give those to your daughter or something.
I was thinking about it.
Are you guys the same size shoe?
You and your daughter?
Yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
You and my wife are the same size shoe.
What size shoe are you?
I range between an eight and a half and a nine.
You're an eight and a half. Quit lying. You're seven.
I'm an eight.
I'm only born in the month of seven.
All right. What is that? June? July.
July.
Careful, careful. Don't be getting weird with that July.
It's July.
Oh, I would never
do that. Listen, that's two words. You
say July like two words. July.
No, I don't lie.
And I'm going to tell you now,
it's July.
July.
July.
I think you did.
July. July. I think you did. I've been costello skit.
July.
Is that better?
July.
July.
Are you sure?
No,
no.
I'm in California.
I don't even know the difference between a man and a woman.
Give you ling.
All right,
man.
Thank you for calling.
Yeah, I got to get back to painting Peyton all right you have a beautiful voice nice
talking to you yeah I'll talk
to you later man ciao
I love southerners
I just noticed on
the savage one there are like 400
reviews and nothing less than three
stars
let me see what one of the bad reviews is what
the fuck could you possibly
say hey i guarantee you it's like it showed up a week late let's see it's even that's actually
okay quality seems good she was unfortunately too wide for my foot oh you fucking pussy that's
amazing i listen so i've never experienced a shoe that's too wide for my foot.
Listen, when I put my foot in a shoe box, it's too wide. Like if I take the shoes out and I put
my shoe in the shoe box, it's too wide. Like I step into it and I step out of it. Imagine a shoe
that's too wide. Have you ever experienced a shoe that's too wide? If you put a shoe on,
it's like, Hey, it's too wide. Bir put a shoe on it's like hey it's too wide
birkenstocks i don't like my sandals sand my feet move around sandals too much when i'm barefoot my
shoes too wide i used to shove my feet into soccer cleats for a long time yeah and my feet were like
super narrow and then i started wearing bevo barefoots and just like going barefoot a lot
and now like everything
Is too narrow yeah that's what happened
To me too the nano twos ruined me
Jake Chapman across it I like my shoes
Like I like my vaginas
Toy
Loose no wide
Wide and loose
Only issue
With the savage ones is no side protection
For rope climbs oh so they just get
That's the other
The next three-star review is about not being good for rope climbs
But
Hey, let's R&D that
Fix it
Yeah, Savage 2s
Exactly
I hope they don't fuck the shoe up
Because the Victo's 2s are horrible
The Core 2s are horrible
They're big and clunky
I mean, they're wide they're big and clunky yeah i mean
they're wide they're just too clunky that's crazy 400 reviews and all of them are top notch
dude the shoe's so good you'll be so happy but but but it could do that for you it could if you're
used to your feet being smashed in and then you set them free, you could be set back for life.
I could never wear a pair of Nike Cortez's.
Those used to be my favorite shoes.
I could never wear those now.
Yeah.
It'll take some time for your feet to splay out if you're not used to that.
Your feet aren't meant for that.
To be tied up.
I've not actually had a pair of shoes that stands up to rope climb since the Nano 10s.
Wow.
Maybe you're just doing too many rope climbs.
Unicorn of CrossFit shoes.
That's a review.
I wonder how many sales
they lost by not having shoes in.
I don't know.
You can sign up for an email when they get back in stock.
I wonder how quickly they'll be able to restock those.
I should send my pair to someone.
I should give my pair away.
Size 2.
Because I don't wear white.
Size 8 in men.
10 in women. I think this is a wear white. Size 8 in men. 10 in women.
I think this is a 10 in women.
8 in men.
I don't even know where the other one is.
Just send him one.
Send him that one.
Does someone wear a size 8?
Does someone want these?
I'd give them away in the...
I'd give them away in the I'll give them away in
one of them just said five stars and it just says
wow I'll give them away on the show
today I guess paper street coffee
pair born primitives
I'm sure we'll get lots of
extra viewers for that who wants these does anyone
have a size eight so let me see I'm not going to give lots of extra viewers for that. Who wants these? Does anyone have a size eight?
So let me see.
I'm not going to give them to you,
but I just want to see who,
who,
who has a size eight and then maybe I'll give them to you.
Yeah.
10.5 probably is hard.
That's probably like a really common shoe.
What's,
is that what you are,
Caleb?
Are you 10 and a half?
Yeah.
What size shoe are you,
Eugene?
Is that a 10 and a half in women's? No, it's a 10 in a half. Yeah. What size shoe are you, Eugene? Is that a 10 and a half in women's?
No,
it's a 10 in women's.
Oh,
nevermind.
Your wife's a 10 and a half.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's crazy.
My wife's a 10 and that's crazy.
I'm a size eight.
Are you really Steven?
Hey dude,
send me your,
uh,
address and your DMS.
And I'll,
I'll have my wife mail these out.
Or I'll mail them out. Someone will mail them out.
Might as well take these,
because these are just going to sit here forever.
They're dope.
Do you own a pair of these?
I'm your size. Yeah, send me.
You can't.
There is a discount code.
It's like BP oh shit really
we're the same human except you're
strong you're not a
fucking dumpling like me
oh yeah this is the
code for born primitive BP
open 20 that's right
I don't think you can order these
dude
I don't think you can get these shoes
yeah wear the fuck out of them grind these fuckers down dude. I don't think you can get these shoes.
Yeah, wear the fuck out of them.
Grind these fuckers down.
I'm leaner. Great. Thanks.
Appreciate it, asshole.
Wow.
Good for you.
Yeah, you douche.
Oh, shit. They do have 10 and a half. Let's go over there real quick do they no way yeah i doubt that's
true too i find that hard to believe born we have to sell all their shoes for them today
that's the lie oh it is i just looked oh let's give it a half in the white and gum
oh there you go want a discount of high performance apparel
not right now I need to buy shoes
10.5 and white and gum if you're a
white and gum type
hey you
they gotta get Taylor on this
they
they don't have 8s
8.5s, 9s, 9.5s, 10s, 10.5s
11s, they have 11.5, 12 13, 14, and 15 in black eights, eight and a half, nines, nine and a half, tens, ten and a half, elevens. They have eleven and a half, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen in black.
God, I should get a pair of black fifteens for my friend.
BP Open 20 Kuro Slays.
BP Open 20 is the code.
Why do they have so many different white versions?
I think black shoes are kind of overrated.
You do?
Yeah, they're kind of not that cool.
All right.
How about black with the gum bottom?
It's better, but...
When I see black shoes, I imagine them as work shoes.
Like, my wife can only wear black shoes when she works at the hospital or at the fire department.
So I just think that's like a...
Or it's like Walmart shoes.
I think of those as walmart
shoes savvy i just sent you my address please don't be like uh what's that chick's name in
the chat she lives in alabama whitney if you're like whitney davis and it's going to cost a
thousand bucks to mail you something i'm gonna be pissed at you talk shit about you for the
rest of your life oh shit you shit. You live close to me.
Okay.
You live like a couple hours away.
Just drop him off at his doorstep.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Listen.
God damn it, you jackass.
Listen.
If someone's going to send you a pair of shoes, Stephen,
this is how you send the address.
You write your name.
You hit return. You put the street address you hit return then you put the the city and the state and
the zip code and then you send it so then i can just push the button down and copy it and paste
it somewhere else like do you see why i'm so fucking great because those are the things i think of that's why
i take initiative i help people i help people help myself i help myself help people i help
i help people help me help me help you it's like when someone says hey have you thought
about having so and so on it's like hey how about you fucking include their Instagram account? Like now I have to, I'm going to Google the person.
Oh, you send me a 22 minute video on YouTube and you write, make sure you make it to the end.
Like, how about fuck you?
Tell me there's titties at the end.
Like, just like you're just a random YouTube URL and says, you won't believe what happens then.
And I click on it's 22 minutes.
It's like like I just like
I hope you burn in hell
I'm going through your DMs it's
1113 at night I'm fucking an hour and 13
minutes past my bedtime and you're sending me a 22 minute
video with no fucking explanation
telling me I should watch it
how about like eat a dick
you loser
I mean
graciously thank you I'm sorry my days are
full sometimes I don't have time to
make it to the end of a 22 minute video on YouTube
that has no context of what it really
is
do something
do something Do something.
Do something.
So yeah, just help me out.
If you want me to invite someone or if you're going to send me a video
and it's 13 minutes long
and you want me to watch it,
be like, hey, Sevan,
this is about how a vaccine injured a kid
and by the way,
somewhere in the middle,
the mom talks and she's got a great set of titties
and they're pushed up to her chin.
And I'll be like, okay, I'll watch that.
Thank you.
That checks two of my most important boxes,
anti-vax shit and big old titties.
Thank you.
I'm not allowed to speak my mind,ris no you're in fucking time out jake
um excuse me uh hey jake you remind me oh jake's about to take an ass pounding you remind me of
like my my requests where there's like 30 asian women in there and they all say the same thing
either says hello or can I ask you a question?
It's like, dude.
You're already there.
Ask it.
Like, dude.
Like, how obvious is it that you're running a scam at that point?
Can I ask you a question? No, I don't talk to pussies.
Alberto. Alberto Hubert
Hubert
Hubert
Hubert
You gotta learn how to use capital
Capital letters
Shit's all fucked up
Uh Colton and Tom go at it
At 1.15
Pacific Standard Time
alright
Jesus I tried to get off an hour and a half ago
Steven I'm waiting
I'm waiting
he said he sent it to you
no he's got to resend it
because I just want to push the button and copy
and then paste it over to a text to my wife
the nourisher
of all things
replenisher.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm looking for... Jake Chapman, I'm looking for 10 men aged 35 to 45
who want to lose belly fat and put on muscle.
I'm also looking for 10 women who want to 45 who want to lose belly fat and put on muscle i'm also looking for 10
women who want to learn how to give standees you want to hear a crazy story i really should not tell this sure
I should
save this
it's about this time where I was hanging out
with these two girls and
they were
talking about giving blowjobs and the one girl
said she didn't know how.
And I was just like, and it turned into,
and then my girlfriend knocked on the front door.
It was fucking crazy.
I was completely,
I was completely innocent.
I was,
I was,
it wasn't me.
Got me on the sofa. It wasn't me. me on the sofa
wasn't me
listen to this what's crazy is
I can't tell it right now
I just can't it needs more breathing room
it would be like if I wasted
it's like opening a bottle of really good wine right before you go to bed
it's like somebody calling
in the middle of your rant
yeah
yeah in the middle of your rant yeah oh man it's just us it's a hundred more people than we're watching earlier
it's just the thing it like this need this this could be a 30 minute bit i don't want
to waste it and then get off so i we'll talk about i please do tell i love a good
blowjob story i know aren't blowjob stories so good they're so funny
We'll talk about, please do tell.
I love a good blowjob story.
I know, aren't blowjob stories so good?
They're so funny.
God.
I thought you didn't drink wine.
You know what's funny?
I don't drink wine, but I did actually drink wine.
I guess I'm lying because the other day I bought a bottle of white wine and took it to my mom's house,
which I've never done that in my whole life.
And my mom pulls out the grocery bag.
I'm like, Hey, I brought some food. Cause I was bringing the kids there and I brought over cantaloupe and hamburger meat
and there's a bottle of white wine.
She's like, you bought this?
I'm like, yeah.
And then she never opened it.
And then she, when I left, she packed up all the shit we didn't use.
And she just like, here, take this shit out of here.
I said, okay.
So I went home and then, and then two days ago, I think, I mean, I don't think I drank
the whole bottle.
I think I just had like half a glass but i opened it screwed the cap off
all right uh yeah yeah the animated blowjob story would be great that's wild oh wow so uh this happened uh to me before but was about a hand job didn't know well
so two girls were like one girl's like hey i don't know how to give a hand job and the
girl's like here i'll show you and they're like dante pull it out and you were just like all right
you say so yeah if you like what i'm here to help just neither is your girlfriend
all right uh see you guys later see you at 1 15 p.m pacific standard time love y'all bye