The Sevan Podcast - Live Call In | Billie Eilish - I feel sorry for myself music? #1013
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I'll, uh, oh shit, I have the cord on the wrong side.
I'll forward you the notes in just a second.
Okay. It'd be cool if I sent them to you like the day before right
Or like five minutes before
Or one minute before
How about just before let's just let's start somewhere
Before yeah let's do that
Get all crazy
And shit
Oh I'm bringing you right into my ears
With one click of the mouse there you are
Now you're in my ears with one click of the mouse. There you are.
Now you're in my ears.
I came in my office last night late, like at 11 o'clock.
Just like everyone was asleep and I was just like, I'm cleaning up because I'm preparing for kind of our first live show in here because Suze is coming.
And then I walked by my computer and I was like, let me see if I know any Billie Eilish songs.
Like, because we had Hayley on and I didn't know who billy eilish was i think i and then and then this this character
billy eilish has 110 million followers so i started thinking okay i probably know who billy eilish is
i if i hear one of the songs dude i played 10 videos i don't know one of her fucking songs not only do i not know one of her
songs i started thinking oh this is just feel sorry for yourself music is that what it is i
mean i only listen to like 10 seconds of each song but i'm like oh this is like
i'm at home it's raining and like life sucks because like like you don't know why life sucks you're
just kind of in a tailspin right her life is kind of crazy because she has billy eilish's billy
eilish's yeah they did like a some sort of docuseries on her and she had basically said
that she like her parents are great she has no like want or need for anything growing up
but like her and her brother just started making this
out making out
no it's like cry music like depressed
music yeah yeah it's
depressed me it's yeah yeah
it's like the opposite of Bob Marley
it's like breakup music like you're gonna listen
to when you break up with like when you get broken up with or
something like it's I don't like it's vibration
Caleb it's not it's not it's not my
vibration
some of it's okay but I don't like its vibration, Caleb. It's not in my vibration.
Some of it's okay, but yeah, it's definitely odd.
You know that we have this skirmish with the wittiest guy going on yeah are you listening and uh people keep sending me
screenshots of his uh what he's posting on instagram it's fucking amazing it's like we're
in two different rooms yeah it's weird i can't see it either did he he vlogs you yeah which is
super specific.
Like he had to go find me and block me cause I've never heard of this guy
until yesterday.
Yesterday he made, I'll, I'll give you the sentiment yesterday.
He made a post on his Instagram account and it said it was a link to this
show, um, which was cool of him.
Thank you.
And it said, um, go watch them complain.
Oh, go watch how buttthurt they are that i block
them and at when he said that i realized oh me and him aren't even on the same like
you're speaking completely different languages yeah we're not even on the same wavelength road it's like it it's like i'm at a you ever seen people who go to a comedy show
like you see videos of someone who's at a comedy show and they drink too much and they start to
get angry at the comic they don't like the joke to hit too close to home yeah yeah that's where
i feel like like this dude's drank too much and he's in the audience and he forgot he's at a comedy show.
Yeah, he's in the crowd.
Yeah, he's tripping.
He's like, I'm sorry I had to cancel Sevan, but he deserves it because he's, I'm like, cancel me.
A little late, buddy.
Dude.
He's upset that I, I'm upset you bought me i didn't even uh you're both short what the
fuck does that have to do with anything triggered um
this chick at uh the norcal classic came up to me and she goes hey just so you know i'm five five
and she this chick was fucking two inches taller than me, easy.
That was like one of the most hurtful things anyone said.
That like, that hit.
That was like a gut punch.
Like, how dare you?
She's telling me she's 5'5".
And she's two inches taller than me.
That would be crazy if I was 5'3".
I'm going to measure myself today.
That would be a good Instagram post.
I joke with my wife that she's not actually six feet.
And she gets, she's like, I am six feet.
You better measure it soon.
If she can get shorter, she gets taller, or older.
Okay, I sent you the notes.
Oh, no, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
Is Sousa coming on?
Oh, shit.
Was that a battery for your fire alarm?
I think I just found it i've been
trying to find it all morning wow which one it is i think ladies and gentlemen we're gonna have a
trip the entire show that's cool probably every 10-15 minutes wow oh no it's it they're they're
closer than that aren't they someone time it someone time it all right for it went off at 5.05.
Hal, you were in your nanoshoes probably wearing combat boots.
I think we, I mean, she was, I like your thinking, but she was an athlete.
She may have even been barefoot.
She was definitely thicker than me, more buff than me, and more lean than me. All at the same time.
And prettier than me.
It was.
Those fucking athletes.
What time is it where you're at?
Sorry I moved the show yesterday.
That's all good.
It was 10 o'clock here.
Oh, it's 10 o'clock there now. the show start too late for you is it kind of like
when this is over you're like fuck i kind of ruined my morning no i usually wake up around
seven and then i get a bunch of stuff done early and then hop on the show do this for a couple
hours then i'll go probably eat lunch walk dog, and then work on homework and house stuff for the rest of the day.
Oh, homework, you mean like stuff around the house?
No, like actual homework, but yeah.
Why? Are you going to school?
Yeah, I started a master's about a month ago.
Have you told me that and I'm just not listening?
No, I haven't said anything about it really.
Is it through the Air Force? Not, no it really is it through the air force
not no it's not through the air i'm using the va or the gi bill but i'm not taking it through
the air force no is it stressing you out um i initially it was but now not so much like i just
started getting back into a rhythm and it's normal.
Masters in what?
Intelligence and security studies.
Oh, shit. Just learning about the different agencies within the U.S.
that dictate national security decisions and shit like that.
I got a text from someone at Google last night.
Really? You are being suppressed i'm working on it really yeah interesting i mean not it wasn't an
official google contact no but but it's a listener of the show interesting what's crazy is that's
been going on for a couple months now but our numbers
are still crushing thank god that uh you know our number we don't have numbers really on rumble or
twitter or facebook although we go there but thank god for apple and spotify yeah for sure
yeah i think a lot i think we get a lot of people that watch on there yeah tons right more than here
but this is fun because here we get to lot of people that watch on there. Yeah, tons, right. More than here.
But this is fun, because here we get to actually interact with the people.
Yeah, I like it a lot better.
Mr. Rambler, thank you for your service. Beaver.
Sure.
Jeremy, super nerd.
Sure.
Dude, he's got a yoda in the back
some other stuff there too jeez louise okay uh
let's do we'll start with something funny uh plumber what's up dude thanks for the call
yesterday that was cool.
You spoke to Saxon Panchik.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, he called now.
He's been busy.
That guy's busy.
Plummer?
Yeah, he's like touring the nation.
Yeah, what is he?
Yeah, that's crazy, right?
Yeah, he's winning races and getting biceps and shit.
What's this mean?
Not Yoda, it's a Grogu that's a baby yoda
yeah it's like yoda is the name of the person but then this is grogu who's the same creature but
different name oh it's like a species of yoda's the yoda's an actual name. So Yoda's like a lizard and he's
what is this species called?
I don't remember.
But they're both lizards.
One's named Grogu, one's named Yoda.
Correct.
I kind of wish I didn't know it.
So I learned today some shit
about Billie Eilish.
Let me say something nice about Billie Eilish.
Let me say something nice about Billie Eilish.
I like the way she looks, that she's just kind of normal.
She's got 110 million followers and she's not a whore.
Yeah, it is pretty crazy.
She does have kind of a crazy body.
She does have a great body?
Yeah, it's pretty nice.
I perused her Instagram
and she wasn't like her body wasn't
front and center no
I think she does that on purpose but I think
there's like a photo shoot with like GQ
or something and
he expresses
her body a little more
no that's cool
I mean she's young don't all young people have nice
bodies call her hi true True. Not call her hi.
Call her hi. There it is. Yep. What's up, fellas? I knew it.
How we doing? Good. How are you?
Maybe I'm going to add your number. I've never added anyone's number to this.
Plumber. I'm just going to add you to this. Oh, sweet. I know, because
we have each other's phone number,
but this isn't that one.
Yeah. Okay, I just typed it in.
Plumber.
Plumber, I hardly know her.
Hey, I appreciate you
still calling in the show
since we've been canceled.
You know, we were canceled yesterday.
What happened?
Is it the... since we've been canceled. You know, we were canceled yesterday. What happened?
Is it the... I called this dude out for being...
This dude, this guy's part of this whole...
I shouldn't say he's part of anything.
Is it the Mike?
Yeah, Wittius.
He's just another mentally ill dude.
Yeah, he's just this delusional, mentally ill dude
who thinks that he can just...
He's just a bully.
He just is going around.
He's like some sort of enforcer.
He gets his happiness from just bullying people.
And it's like, dude, thank God.
Thank God for shows like the Sevan podcast
that just won't tolerate the cancel culture
and just will accept everyone.
I even accept him. I even accept the fact that he's canceled culture i'm thoroughly enjoying
this but from the beginning this show has been real and um it's like hey man if we if we're
getting canceled then keep canceling us because this we have so many fucking sponsors now it's
fucking out of control we have three sponsors waiting to get in touch with suza this week so
it's like fuck but um but i think the
majority 99 he did what he doesn't realize is 99 of the people see him for what he is and yet he
keeps going it's about time someone does this i hope the athletes stop coming on his show stop
coming on the show we're nice to them we help them with their their cause could be to save babies
save whales recycle fucking shoelaces We support everyone who comes on the
fucking show. I support Billie Eilish
now. What the fuck are you talking about?
I support you and your... I've given you a
place to perform your little
cancel dance.
Dude.
My goodness.
Peace and love.
That's it.
Have you seen this, dude? Yeah, I've's it. Have you seen this dude?
Yeah, I've seen it.
I literally, I was like.
He's got a cool Instagram account.
He did a great interview.
Dude, and like, do you think part of it comes from, right?
Like, obviously he is very fit, right?
Like, is he just stressed out from doing that?
And then like, they didn't get to go to the games this year.
Right?
So you think that. That's right. He did he did everything I think he's just lashing out
I think he's just lashing out
yeah
what's crazy
is that he did this interview
with Schweitzer
where he presents himself as being like just
cool as shit right like hey
it's all good it it's all love.
But it's not.
And I think that probably
reconciling those two things
is...
He's got demons.
He's just got...
He's struggling.
But it's been a stimulating week i'm i mean um
been fucking i think everyone's enjoying i think are you enjoying it i'm i'm enjoying it
yeah no numbers are good i get to see caleb
too big to fail my kid did a uh uh jumped out of the bowl yesterday and did a his highest jump with a 180 on the skateboard
I'm sure it's called something. He probably thinks I'm jackass for not knowing but it's
It was wild to watch
I'm lost. What are you all talking about? Oh blade? Do we have some shit to catch you up?
Some shit talking. Some shit talking.
Blade, this guy's got video of me saying the N-word he posted today.
He's got video of me saying the N-word.
Oh, goodness.
God, my kid is fucking cool.
Thanks for playing that.
That was dope.
I was going to just say Thank you for the kind words Caleb
Yeah of course dude
You're fucking killing it
I'm stoked for you
Dude it was crazy
It was fun
Winning the championship was definitely cool
Was it just like a big old party
You guys won
Fill us in on that
What happened
Stefan listen to this So IndyCar Yeah Right we have four Was it just like a big old party? You guys won? Fill us in on that. What happened?
Stefan, listen to this. So IndyCar, right? We have four cars, right?
And then one of the cars, one of our drivers runs part-time because he's a rookie.
So then we brought in another guy to run the oval.
So like he didn't get a drive in the Indy 500 because, um, right. He was, he was a rookie this year.
Yeah.
So the Indy 500 is like the big Indian in Indy race.
It's like a huge,
like 500 miles or something like that.
Yep.
Yeah. It's insane.
They shut down a city basically.
Um,
and it's just one big party,
but so right. they shut down a city basically. Um, and it's just one big party,
but so right.
We finished one and two in the championship out of all the drivers.
And then, um,
we took rookie of the year and I've done like some training with him. Um, and then these cars, have you driven one of these?
No, no no no have you sat in one no i dude
you you got to be a little dissident like max you can like only weigh up to 185
right like you can't be it would not be comfortable um but so took, two rookie of the year.
And then we had three cars in the top 10 of every race.
And we, uh, yeah.
That's incredible.
It was insane.
Good team.
Hey, what's the name of the team?
Chip Ganassi racing.
What is it?
Uh, Chip Ganassi racing.
Do you have like some huge sponsor like pens oil or some
crazy shit um we're sponsored by one of our cars is american legion the other one is ridgeline
lubricants and which is like um i just he's one of our you have the word lubricants that you get
to say that regularly lubricants yep uh there's we had a swedish driver so he's sponsored by like
husky chocolate and then um what else is there oh pnc bank bjorgvin carl gudmundsson and lubricants
those are those are some of my favorite things to say lube yeah lube well hey you're the man
congratulations thank you yeah what a fun you're with man. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, what a fun. You're with
winners.
Tell Marcus better luck next year. He'll do
it. He's with winners. Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Love you, dude. Thanks for calling.
Yeah. See you, fellas. Bye.
He called to say thank you
to you. I guess
you're the one who did say something nice about him.
Will, great job, dude.
I'm so proud of you.
You're killing it.
Call back.
Don't you dare call back.
Here's the thing, Blade.
This guy, Blade, you were at the competition, right?
And this guy got upset at Lauren Fisher for making a post on her Instagram
that was a clip from the movie tropic thunder
for all you people who keep saying i'm saying the movie name wrong i keep calling tropic of
thunder it doesn't matter but anyway tropic thunder and he said hey that's inappropriate
that you use the word retard and then i pointed out to him that he has no problem using explicit
racial slurs songs that promote explicit racial slurs
all over his instagram and i said what those racial slurs were
a not hard r a uh go back to the hayley adams episode it's at the end there
for anyone who would like to clip it i like it how he's telling people he has a video of it.
Dude, we have a video.
Everyone has a video of it.
It's a one hour, 57 minute mark.
Quick, Caleb, pull it down.
Mike McCaskey, I think Mikey Wittius was responsible for Trisha's crash.
It's actually very sad.
Do you have any insights into that?
Do you have any – do you know stuff?
Like why?
You do.
You do know stuff.
I know something, but I don't – I don't think it's –
Like do you know who Trish is?
No.
I do not.
I have like ideas but
do you suspect Trish is a boy
I suspect Trish is a boy
yes I suspect the same
and do you think that
Trish died because Trish was tired of
maintaining Trish I tried to talk to Sousa
about this and he's like he just kept he kept freaking
me out he's like no dude Trish is dead
and I started getting like
some weird tingly feeling in my back like i was losing touch with reality for a second i was like okay i'm not
talking so i appreciate you having a little more real um uh i don't think hey hey how a blade
walker imagine other people's words owning your life hey dude not only that
the the irony is is that
this guy's the one promoting the word
he doesn't get the joke of me saying he doesn't get he he's just lost he doesn't get the joke
of why i said it and why i said why the whole thing came out i don't know if joke's the right
word the irony the joke the point the lesson he was being offered he's caught himself in a fucking wicked
mess here you are promoting this the racial slur while condemning someone else but you're he's just
a fucking mess and then in turn now he's trying to say that since i actually said the word out loud
but he only says it from his instagram with music he uses it's like i mean it's just he's trying to say that since I actually said the word out loud, but he only says it from his Instagram with music he uses.
It's I mean, it's just he's in just a fucking twisted mess.
It's like we're watching some guy stuck in just a dwarf stuck in a giant piece of bubble gum.
You know what I mean?
Like, just can you kind of picture that?
Like, yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
OK, it agree. Okay.
It's a mess.
Good thing you don't have hair, dude.
That shit would be fucking...
Yeah, I'm watching that tonight.
Jack De La Maddalena.
Right before the main event.
Versus Kevin Holland.
Woo!
It's going to be good.
It's going to be a crazy fight.
I really like both of them.
I really like both of them.
Yes. He's a little rapper.
I don't think he raps.
He's just into rap music that promotes racial slurs.
Don't tell anyone.
I don't want them to get canceled.
That's right.
I'm glad that I can be canceled I don't
even think that dude can't you can't be canceled
you're already
on the you're already on the floor
I've taken I've taken flight
like one of those little midget
flies I've taken flight
how crazy is it that Hiller's dog's name is
midge I saw how crazy is it that Hiller's dog's name is Midge?
When I saw the video, I was like, what the fuck?
How is that even reality?
I thought when I saw that, I thought it was hilarious.
They were destined to meet, Mikey and Wittius and Hiller.
I wonder if they need to hash that out.
I guarantee you Hiller does not want to hash that out.
Once someone digs kind of their grave with him, he's going to – They're out. Sorry, dude.
You erased his Instagram account.
Now you're saying you didn't do it, but we've already known.
Man, those people, Wittius and the Chick Steph Hammerman and a couple of those other people,
they're basically, they'll go to anyone.
Someone shouldn't be allowed to, I hope the street parking people don't talk to them.
I hope the athletes don't talk to them.
I hope they're just naming everyone.
That's called coercion or something.
What is that called?
Let's find out Andrew Hiller I don't want to talk to a brick wall
I know
Well the truth is you did try talking to him
Christine Young
He's crazy as fuck
Something's wrong
Something's definitely
Yeah coercion I... Yeah, coercion.
I think it is coercion.
I don't know about coercion.
It's like when you try to leverage
or the practice of persuading
someone to do something by forcing
or threats. Yeah, he's basically, it's like a threat.
I have a recording
of Sevan saying the N-word, so you
better not talk to him and go on his show
uh
Andrew Hiller yeah
I regret going um trying to talk
to him
yeah I would too
that cost you one Instagram account
laughing
laughing
uh um where were we
stay focused
we're going to start with something funny but I think
we've done that already
oh yeah okay let's go
let's go back here I was in the middle of it I didn't
finish whatever thought that was but anyway let's do
124 124 is good let's talk
about the amendments
amendments yeah that is true eric i did hear that also this is uh breaking news sporty beth is
furious at mikey wittius uh for taking her away from the limelight furious that is uh i did also
hear that how dare he mikey please go get back at the end of the line we'll come back to you in six months
I can't believe there's someone here named front tail
makes me want to throw up
I seriously don't like that
I hate that term
I'm not saying what my boys call it
a cock or cock and balls
and I'm not saying that that's ideal
but it's better than front tail
I started calling it a penis
because it's funnier
okay
action
second thing we wrote
it's the second thing
we wrote
out of all the things to write
when starting a country
the second thing they wrote down
is you better get a gun
the first thing they wrote down
is you can say what you want
and then they were like
but you better get a gun if you want to do that.
It's the second thing.
Hey, has anyone ever threatened you on the internet?
Yes.
It was a long time ago, though.
Yeah.
That was the first time anyone's ever threatened me that I can remember
really
Mikey Wittius yeah
in my DMs threatened me
oh no second time 12 daily doses threatened me too
oh yeah of course
is it crazy
is it weird
it's fucking crazy
it's weird
it is weird
Mikey Wittius is more ambiguous threat it's fucking crazy. It's weird. It's weird. It is weird.
His,
um,
uh, Mikey Wittes is more,
is more ambiguous threat.
So it makes it a little more unsettling.
You know what I mean?
Like,
like I didn't know what he was going to do.
Uh,
um,
12 daily doses told me what he was going to do.
Oh,
okay.
You know what I mean?
Mike,
Mike Wittes was like,
if you subtly mention me again,
dot, dot, dot.
So I'm like, fuck,
is this dude coming to the skate park?
Like, do I got it?
He's going to bring his skateboard
and hit you with the trucks.
Yeah, like, what the fuck's going on here?
What's he going to do?
Is he going to call my boss
and try to get me fired?
Oh, wait.
He's going to call Haley and tell you.
Are you going to erase Hiller's Instagram account?
Are you going to call the IRS?
Crazy what people think they can get away with online.
Eric Weiss, Mikey's only a little threat.
All right.
Oof. The Make Wads Great Again guy, I don't think he ever threatened me.
I don't think he threatened me.
If he did, I don't remember.
12 Daily Doses.
I'll tell you how that relationship ended.
He DM'd me and said, hey, dude, you're erasing our dms together and i said
right away that set off my spidey senses right i'm like wait what and i'm like why why is he even
how i would never even notice if someone was erasing my dms but so then i go hey dude i don't
know how to erase anything he goes you're a fucking liar i've been taking pictures of all
our dms i go cool send them over to me i want to see which ones i've erased because i don't even
know i don't know how to rate i don't know how to do any of that stuff.
Yeah, I'm on this fucking thread, dude, with like six thousand other people that comes every day.
That's just women wanting to fuck and like links to click.
And I fucking keep hitting delete or report.
I slide it right.
I slide it left.
I hold my thumb on it.
I cannot fucking get this thing out of my inbox
I'm terrified that I'm gonna click
it and someone's gonna be looking over my shoulder
and it's gonna be like just shit's gonna pop up
you know what I mean right
I don't fucking know how to
I don't take a picture of a DM so I thought
I thought to myself okay
I said hey dude regardless of whether
I'm erasing them or not, what's it matter?
And he goes, I'm going to expose you for the fraud that you are.
And I go, hey, dude, please take pictures of all of our DMs.
First, I went back and read them all.
I'm like, please take pictures of all of our DMs and post them all now.
I think it'll be great for your brand.
I think my thought was, i know everyone's gonna be like
what a piece of shit you know what i mean like no one's gonna see anything i wrote and be like wow
i can't believe someone said that right and that was it and that's it that's why i stopped talking
to him i'm not ever gonna i'm not ever gonna um engage with someone who threatens me like why
would i do that that's fucking crazy i'm not interested in like I already know what you're capable of at that point
I mean if i'm gonna engage you it's gonna be to like
It's not gonna be good. It's not it's not
It's to finish something not to start something
I'm not right. You don't ever come back
You it's like go go in the house right now and call your wife fat and see if you can come back from that
Right You're not like you're not coming back from that you're gonna hear about that in 20 years
exactly that's gonna come up in an argument like yeah you're like you remember that one time you
called me fat yeah but i always find it funny when people uh just say outrageous things like
that they're like i would fuck you up dude i would totally i'm gonna
fucking do and they've never once experienced any semblance of violence physical or mental
in their life yeah but they come up with this story in their head and they just
think that oh i have this i'm just so much bigger and stronger and more intellectual and better than
the rest of you that i can handle
any problem that ever comes my way no you can't no you can't right you've never experienced anything
like that you've never been in that position you've never been in a fistfight you've never
been in a verbal altercation you don't know what altercation a bar verbal altercation just like
like how about that video that um someone sent us i don't
want to say who but in the chat with that guy he's five feet tall and he's screaming and he's in the
um no he's in the safeway or something yeah at the checkout yeah and he's like trying to fight
everyone and he's like my whole life people have talked shit to me because i'm five feet tall
and blah blah fuck you i'll beat anyone's ass and then someone finally steps up and knocks him out
and the first thing he complains about is that he's too late dude you're three times my size it's
like of course you're gonna beat my ass yeah what do you think's gonna happen when you start
whooping some talking shit to everybody
it's crazy oh uh here we go back on track rosemary i miss uh trish too okay so that's what i was
asking about trish i wrote trish really big here let me dig around in caleb's brain lit so you is
there some stuff you know about trish that you don't necessarily want to say uh no i have some
there were there were some like clues like in that page that were just really outlandish that I was like,
you think will Branstetter could be Trish?
No,
no,
it's way too specific.
Like the,
there's a picture in there of a very specific place that I'm the only person
who would know where that's at.
Like it's in your neighborhood.
It's in your town.
Yes.
And, and you know, some, is town yes and and you know some is it a and you know a listen is the person who is that you suspect is trish still a listener
i don't know probably do you know have you ever met the person not that i know of crazy some people thought it was like my mom or my sister and my wife
no there's no way i know they don't talk like that anyway
it's if that was my mom or my wife or my sister i would be i would be like wow you really uh
oh if it was any of them it would be it would have to be so wildly deliberate
and well like it's crazy yeah it tripped me out when i saw that picture because i'm pretty sure
maybe one other person that follows this show knows exactly where that place is
and i am almost certain it's not that person.
Someone said,
I thought Trish was Alice in NYC
because we never see her anymore here.
Nah.
Whoever Trish is
has a very specific sense of humor.
Heidi Kroom,
I'll do one better.
Go tell your wife you cheated with her sister.
Now tell her you're kidding.
Hey, Heidi, do you have a story you want to tell us?
Hey, yeah, maybe that can be someone said something.
Oh, here, Caleb studying intelligence.
Maybe that can be your first mission to find out who Trish is.
Don't think i
haven't been working on it wow uh trish that's good trish has a dry humor old guy yeah i think
old guy too i don't think so no no i think whoever it is is probably like 30 ish wow we all know who trish was i don't wow it's possible
the person that i think is that they think is trish is i don't think it's actually them
do you ever you ever heard of the um the thing you know uh it's called rodeo
the rodeo position you mean like the cowgirl yeah it's kind of like that you're having sex
doggy style and you scream out your ex-girlfriend's uh name and then you try to stay in your girl for
seven more seconds yes okay yep you heard that's good yes oldie but good oldie but goodie
seven more seconds yes okay yep you're that's good yes oldie but good oldie but goodie
that this must hurt coming from the ft all right well we figured out that uh front tail is trish uh geez only trish would insult me like that. Okay, 123.
Let's get to the real news here.
Let's start with the – we can just start with the – we can start with the bottom one.
We can start with the bottom one.
Have you heard – have you heard this story yet, this Las Vegas story?
Something's going on over there at the MGM Grand? All the properties?
Currently, no.
Okay, check this out.
Here we go.
Why is no one talking about this?
This story is a cross between Ocean's Eleven, Mr. Robot, and Swordfish.
Bigger and more exciting than the dumb submarine we all cared so much about.
But yet, it's not getting the same coverage, the same eyes, the same trend. Approximately a
week ago, a group of hackers called Alpha or Black Hat infiltrated MGM Resorts and Caesars
Entertainment globally. In a Caesars SEC filing, they admit to paying off the ransomware hacker
group tens of millions of dollars, but still lost total rewards members' driver's license
and social security
numbers for a significant number of their 65 million members. However, MGM did not make the
same deal. According to the hacker's ransomware blog, they have reached out to MGM for negotiation
but have not been responded to. They claim all the news around their hack is fake news and have
been updating their blog
with articles that are manufactured propaganda. Currently, the hackers have all the internal data
from MGM resorts, including internal emails, customer data, and financials. Also, the ATMs,
credit card machines, slot machines, guest registrations, hotel check-ins, websites for
all properties, reward apps, and internal systems are mostly done.
Guests at the resorts have been given physical keys, registration is using Excel spreadsheets
to track rooms and housekeeping, and people are walking into guest rooms with people already in
there. Elevators are sporadic, not working, or have no security. Hot water is intermittent.
not working or have no security, hot water is intermittent, restaurants are resorting to cash only, and there is no resolution to retrieve all your lost data. According to the ransomware blog,
Black Hat alleges that they have proof of insider trading amongst the executives.
This corporation is riddled with greed, incompetence, and corruption. The kicker,
is riddled with greed, incompetence, and corruption. The kicker? How did the group get in?
LinkedIn with a random employee called to the help desk and get some passwords. One of the most secure, highly protected companies in the world was hacked via a 10-minute conversation.
This story is nuts. I'm sure it'll make for a good movie one day, as long as it doesn't feature The Rock.
But the real question is, how is this not front page news every day of the week? Who's suppressing
it? Is it MGM trying to save face and keep it out of the headlines and protect their brand and value?
Is it the US government because they don't want you to know how vulnerable these secure systems really are
if one of the most secure it infrastructures in the world can be hacked that easily how can they
say their electronic voting systems are absolutely secure oh or is this story simple please voting
systems secure you remember all that crazy voting shit?
Yeah.
It's like one of the rules is voting machines can't have
an Ethernet cable attachment
even available.
And then you look and all the machines have Ethernet cable
attachments available. You're like, wait, what?
Because they realize if they run it off
Wi-Fi, it's not going to work.
Matt Burns trigger alert. Yeah.
Like, come on.
Jake Chapman, he makes me want to go for a
walk uh agree jake i haven't heard a word okay i'll translate to you basically mgm grand has been
hacked like like really hacked god it just makes you realize that everything should not be just and on computers and and what a what a mess dude what a mess hey i wonder if they're gonna out anyone this sounds dangerous
this sounds like someone's gonna end up dying you think so i mean either way they're gonna
try to find these hackers and kill them or someone inside if he has if he i can't imagine the casino business being
very on uh on the up and up just by nature it's just there's there's no product it's just
fucking gambling and and money exchanging hands based on people's fucking pathologies
right like there's got to be some i wonder if el vegas and people in that industry
there's like a higher rate of sociopaths oh there's got to be right yeah i would think
drug higher rate of alcoholism fucking uh sociopaths psychotics drug addiction just all
that shit absolutely people just want to gamble all the time and then
they want to stay awake while they're gambling so they turn to drugs and alcohol and yeah that's
pretty wild how does that work how how is it that they're updating how do they they if the hackers
have a website so this is bear with me here you have a website and you post to it every day right
isn't there some like trail
electronic trail where i can be like see be like okay this came from a house in illinois and the
address is 1336 winston street like how do they how do you in like every time i interact with
my computer if someone wanted to find my location, they could, right?
Like Google knows – someone at YouTube could just type in some shit on the keyboard right now and be like, okay, he's sitting on it, and they know my address, right? Right.
Yeah, type – yes, that is true unless you have like a VPN or like some sort of like security around your Ethernet system
or your Internet system.
Okay, so let's say
my understanding of a VPN then would be
that then it goes somewhere
first and then let's say
I did this YouTube
through a VPN. It would go to the VPN
in Singapore first and then out to the
world. But still, when they trace it back,
couldn't they trace it back through the VPN?
Yes. Technically, yes.
I think there's probably some greater levels of security
that they use, but yeah, that's...
Every time you use a VPN, does it slow everything down
because it's one more stop?
Sometimes, yes.
When I was deployed, I used apn and i didn't have any
issues with like when you were on the show you would use a vpn wow yeah your connection was
dope most of the time yeah we were able to like whenever we were using it we could stream stuff
and we didn't have any issue with it but it's crazy how they work like as soon as you turn it on
like before we had no access to netflix or anything like that and as soon as you turn it on and send it back to the united states
like your connection comes back and forth and then you can watch whatever you want
um uh you can only track p you can track people if you control the server
uh these servers are controlled by hackers.
Yeah, I haven't gotten to that class yet.
Cyber security.
That's next semester.
Let's say you check your rogue order live on your podcast.
Do you remember that?
I don't remember that. I gave my address away or something.
The guy wrote back to me in the chat,
is this your correct address?
Somebody else put their phone number.
Hey, that reminds me of the one time
when I accidentally said the N-word on my podcast
and a dwarf tried to cancel me.
I swear, I'm not even making this up.
I'm just joking.
I didn't say it accidentally
I said it on purpose
but the part about the dwarf trying to cancel me
god dude this would be a great movie
yeah absolutely
I think there's a
no not that I'm talking about me
and Wittius and Hiller
yeah that would be a good movie too I guess
short it would be a short movie
15 minute short movie like a college movie like
you know what i mean like a like short 15 minute like yeah yeah one you would create for your like
capstone or something uh jake chapman seve audrey sent us a picture of a giant hog the other day
did she take the picture did she take the picture or was it just one she found on the internet if she's just one
she found on the internet anyone could do that if she took it oh mertens could play me
that'd be awesome oh yeah that'd be cool get him a prosthetic nose
wear a groucho mask all day for the whole shoot. Did you ever see the movie War Games?
Yeah.
I watched it a hundred times.
I had the VHS tape.
I love that movie.
It was cool, right?
What was the guy's name?
Ferris Bueller was in it?
Yeah.
That's not his name.
Oh, someone sent Audrey a dick pic?
Wow.
Okay. Is it someone we know sent it to her her but then she's not telling us who it is
and then
but then she shared it
wow oh Matthew Broderick
yeah
that's a great movie
I got a t-shirt that says
global thermonuclear war
oh that's cool
I just find that
fun to say
do you think he's playing war games
who
Michael
Mikey
Mr. Wittius
I don't know what he's doing
he's threatening my family
hi Melissa
how are you good to see you
let me ask you a trivia question about the show caleb what country does melissa reside in
i want to say it was like
dubai or something yeah that's what i would guess too. UAE for sure. Do you think you could,
if you saw SEMA and Melissa
standing next to each other, you could
know the difference?
Yes. In your head, are they
crisscrossed at all? Scrambled up?
No. It does help
that I've met SEMA though.
Right.
Dude, we're Don.
Don. Don. Don. Don Dick. Dick Don. Don. Don.
Don.
Don Dick.
Dick Don.
Don K Dick.
Donkey Dick?
Donkey Dick.
Donkey Richard.
Wow.
Wow.
That's a fake name?
Definitely a fake name.
Wow.
Holy shit.
We cracked a code on that shit.
Oh, she's in Cape Town now.
Wow.
From Dubai. We're crazy suppressed dude
we've been for the last two months
yeah so that's that
but what's crazy is the numbers build up
it just takes a while it used to just start
like at 150
now it's like 1 7
12 the slow burn like at 150. Now it's like 1, 7, 12.
The slow burn.
Blade.
Good job.
Blade's addicted to the show.
The boycott starts tomorrow.
Yes.
Okay.
One.
Oh.
I'm going to do the second part of that.
Oh.
I might be going to breakfast.
Oh.
Oh, no.
I'm done with the Vegas story.
That's it.
Just worth watching.
But there's a...
Oh.
Whoops.
That's not what I meant to send.
Greg just called me, and I hit the auto-reply, what you need.
Done that to him twice now in like 15 years.
That's supposed to be like, you don't send that one to Greg, what you need.
So then I wrote, whoops, that's not what I meant to send you.
Fuck.
Now I have to call him.
Sorry, autocorrect.
Okay, you could play this
122. Let's see.
Hey, sorry, that was
an auto-response, what you need. That wasn't
for you.
Oh, I am.
But I stopped for a second to call you.
Nobody.
Just me and Caleb are just going through the news.
No, no, no.
Do you go to an affiliate in Tennessee, Caleb, near Allen Buck?
No, I do no. Do you go to an affiliate in Tennessee, Caleb, near Allen Buck? No, I do not.
No.
Oh.
Hey, are we going to breakfast?
Oh, okay.
Okay. I'll be done in a half an hour and i'll call you okay bye i apologize oh my god he's so unprofessional he just takes calls and and and hey just just
flip the script just think of this as a reality show. No, not quite. Not quite, Jeremy. 1999.
Damn. Not quite.
Nice try, dickhead.
It's fucked up.
Oh, shit.
Rich Holton. It was James Hobart
for Trish. That would be fucking
amazing.
Nope. Definitely not.
That
would be amazing
Mikey what's up dude
what do you want to talk about
I talk about how
Mikey Swoosh is a
pussy oh I thought you were
Mikey Swoosh
I'm not
hey did you fight I heard you fought Mikey Swoosh
in high school
over definitely did
i met i met a dwarf class they just fucking got it down hold on one second what i think i'm ready
to buy a new uh uh podcast machine i'm so fucking sick and tired. Hold on one second.
It sucks how this thing,
the connections always fuck with every new call.
Okay, sorry. Hi, go ahead.
How can I help you?
Call her.
So, I was watching a couple of older movies movies the other day and it's funny that andrew
hiller's uh video popped up about never go full retard with mikey swoosh and uh i counted in like
several of them like the word retard being used over 10 times and it was from like movies from
like 2011 and past and And it was like,
nobody's calling for those people to be canceled.
There's directors,
those actresses,
his actors and everything.
So to do it now and to say that you don't play the victim makes you the
biggest giant is pussy I've ever seen.
Well,
how about the,
or one of them,
how about the fact that he,
he has the word, he has racial slurs in almost every single song on his Instagram account, but that's okay.
What did you see that he tagged?
That's the part that I don't understand.
He tagged Chandler, Elijah Muhammad, and somebody else.
chandler elijah muhammad and somebody else he's like because he said he goes it's really funny that all the people that are supporting lauren fisher in these comments are all white
and he's like i wonder how these three would feel and it's like why are you pointing them out that
sounds pretty racial oh yeah yeah you're gonna go i go. I'm going to go collect all my black friends now and get them to turn on.
Shut the fuck up.
Hey, that's just that's the part he doesn't understand the divisiveness.
And yeah, he's just a dick, dude.
He's just fucked up.
He really is.
He is the biggest bully.
And to call for somebody's fucking job like Lauren Fisher, like training with training
think tank to call her job for putting a fucking
movie quote up there and she didn't even say it hey it's the literal fucking movie what would they
well i wonder what would happen if elijah muhammad and chandler were to then turn on him and be like
hey dude take all those rap songs off your instagram then what he would be canceled it'd
be awesome we'd never see him at the crossfit games ever again either it'd be canceled. It'd be awesome.
We'd never see him at the CrossFit Games ever again, either. It'd be great.
It's okay. You'll only see him online anyway.
I would rehabilitate you, Mr. Swoosh, if you get canceled, Mr. Wittius.
He can't be canceled. He doesn't have anything to cancel.
But if he could be canceled, I'd love a good bring back story.
I'd love a canceled person.
Yeah. He'd be Comeback Player of the Year.
Yeah. So I just wanted player of the year. Yeah.
So I just wanted to say that.
Love what y'all are doing.
Yeah.
No problem.
Yeah.
It's a bizarre situation to watch publicly unfold.
Hey, does any part of you be like,
does any part of you like,
hey, we're like making fun of the retarded kid? Like he doesn't know what's going on?
No.
Okay.
Sometimes I feel like,
you know, like the kid kid who pulls his pants down
at the
urinal in the second grade.
You want to make fun, but you're kind of like,
I don't know, dude.
This is really fucked up.
It is.
I'm a fireman, and I'm an airborne
infantryman in the guard.
We call each other retards all day, every day.
It's because we did retarded things.
Like, if I do something – people are just pussies nowadays.
That's what it really comes down to.
Like, I'm about to go to jiu-jitsu in an hour, and you know what's probably going to be one of the first words said to me?
What's up, retard? What's up, retard's up retard retard i like it when people say retard really just puts the emphasis on it yeah retard bully uh bullets it's fucking stupid
so hey what are you guys what belt are you uh Blue belt. Wow. Good job.
Thank you.
How many years?
On and off since 2017, just because I met my wife, and she lived 90 minutes away.
I went to the Army, came back, trained for a long time.
Then I had to go – I was already a fireman, but I was switching departments,
so I had to go through another academy because that's in their policy.
And so I had to stop then.
And then my wife's in chiropractic school, so then I had to fucking take up two more jobs.
So I hadn't been able to go.
Is it weird when you roll with new – like if there's a new dude there, is it weird at first because it's so intimate?
It is until I put my chest in his face yeah okay
and he just gets all this taco meat so so so basically it's weird until shit gets real then
you kind of all that stuff leaves the like you're not worried about some guy rubbing his fucking
dick on your back when he's fucking trying to choke you out all that shit goes out the window
yeah the only time it honestly gets fucking weird is whenever they're doing
something and they're fucking,
their face is really close to my neck and they're just breathing on me.
And I'm like,
that's the one.
And you chub up.
I can stay.
And you chub up.
Dude.
And I'm just like.
What about chicks with giant tits?
Like they come in the class.
Like my kids have to do this.
My kids do this thing where they're always putting their hands on people's chests and like i'm looking at it and they're doing it to like
the girls or they're doing it to the girls too i'm like at some point you just can't do that to
the girls can you just in class or can you i mean at one point it becomes illegal doesn't it well
they do this they do all these drills they're like okay start and close guard and so like my
son get on top of some girl and she'll put his hands on his chest and they'll go go and I'm like dude
And fucking five years that chicks gonna have some big old, okay
Yeah, no, I know he's talking about so usually they just goes from the chest to the waist
Usually like when you break open somebody's like guard if you're in the gi like you'll grab their waist where they're uh
like guard, if you're in the gi, you'll grab their waist where their gi is at,
like pants or bottoms, grab that.
Then you're taking your arm, you're putting it over their knee,
you're breaking the guard, your knee cutting, and you're getting through.
And it's just different ways of doing it. I mean, the best way to pass a woman's guard, though,
is to pinch her nipples as hard as possible.
She's going to let go.
To pass a woman's guard, though, is to pinch her nipples as hard as possible.
She's going to let go.
Heidi writes, hands go right under the tits, Seve.
My son, Avi, tapped in a tournament.
A chick got him in fucking north-south. I just she wasn't he i'd never seen him
submit it wasn't even a submission but he submitted and when she got off him he was
crying like what happened he's like i i know and he did not like it that
i liked it i was dying well you probably didn't understand why you liked it why yeah i'm gonna
show him the video when he's 15 yeah he doesn't know he's gonna be like i got fucking tapped out by a fucking pussy yeah exactly yeah he did get tapped out by a pussy
oh that's what you call that right that's what you call the 69 in jiu-jitsu right north south
north south yeah north south that's what i tell my wife too when I'm on a 69 I'm like hey let's just north south
each other
alright boys y'all have a great day
alright thanks for calling
not a problem
you have any dwarves on the base
no I don't think so I'm pretty sure that's a Do you have any dwarfs on the base?
No, I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure that's a... You can't join the military if you have dwarfism.
Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can't do that.
There's somebody who's in the Marine Corps who made it through.
He was like 411 or something, but I don't think he has actual dwarfism.
What a crazy stat.
The shortest person to get in Marines.
4'7", inch man, completed Marine boot camp in September,
possibly making the shortest U.S. service member ever,
September 8, 2023.
Dude, your stats are old.
Caleb, your stats are old.
This shit's been updated eight days ago.
Oh.
Hey, that's crazy.
I think 4'7 is the dwarf height.
I think I remember thinking that I was trying to figure out one time
if I was a dwarf.
Damn, that guy's tiny.
Incredible, dude.
You found the dude?
Yeah. Incredible dude You found the dude Yeah he uh
If you're under like
5
10 I think
It says the minimum height requirements 410 dude
Right here
So you're not lying
He must have just
That's how desperate they are
One that's how desperate they are
Two they probably gave him some sort of waiver
The most decorated US soldier One, that's how desperate they are. Two, they probably gave him some sort of waiver.
The most decorated U.S. soldier in World War II was only 5'5", Audie Murphy.
Oh, Audie Murphy. I think he was a conscious objector too.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's another crazy story.
I hate it when I see stuff like this. Can I join the Marines if I'm short? 5'7".
Like, fuck.
That's short?
Yeah, if you think that's short, dude.
I'm fucked.
You're good.
Okay.
4'7".
Hey, how funny was it that during this whole...
During Dwarf Week fucking CrossFit podcast had a show that was...
The size matter. that was crazy that was he needs to cancel those fuckers i would be like who over it we don't believe
in coincidences how does he not go call crossfit call don and be like those guys uh adrian conway's
making fun of him adrian conway dan ba Bailey, and Chase Ingram, they did that on purpose.
Those guys are friends with Sebon.
Yeah, Shut Up and Scribble did a similar show, too.
Oh, please tag Adrian Conway, too.
Don't forget that.
Speaking of AIs, look at Adrian Conway.
Is he wearing lipstick in there?
His face is, like, perfect.
Damn.
He's got very rouge lips his his all his features are like so distinct i want to see him with his hat off right there i bet you adrian was i bet you he was or is
a model i bet you yeah i would think so his goatee is very well manicured, too. Insane. Yeah, sharp angles.
Insane.
Mike McCaskey, the CF podcast, was the same day.
That's fucking nuts.
Could be a filter.
Oh, just the red lip filter?
Yeah, they have those.
They do?
Yeah.
Or I was thinking it could be, what like right before the show he has like a like a cranberry um like my kids take a little bit of cranberry juice and
mix it with water and they make um they freeze it and make um like lollipops they put a popsicle
stick in it you know like homemade maybe he made like a homemade popsicle right before he goes on and sucks on it
Maybe yeah
All right, we're doing a show right now, yeah, damn that sucks I wanted to uh, did we do the Indian joke
No, that's this one. Oh, yeah. Okay. Here we go
Okay
I was in Oklahoma City a couple weeks ago
doing jokes about being Indian.
And then after my set, some dude came up
and he's like, hey, good set,
but I didn't get all the Indian references
and I'm Indian too.
I was like, oh shit, that's not good.
And then he looked closely at my face
and I looked closely at his face
and I knew we both
had figured out the problem but i wanted him to say it first and he didn't disappoint he
leaned in he goes oh you're a dot not a feather i was like yo were you just racist to both of us
on behalf of white people at the same time i I'm a computer Indian, not a casino Indian.
That's the difference between us.
Dude, I'm going to start using that.
I always use dot not feather, but casino versus computer Indian.
That's so much better.
Wow.
I stopped and I played that like five times.
I was like, wow wow how did i never think
of that shit that's so good conway is not stealing your look you got a good look you got you got more
like the the mike tyson look the the mike ty you look like jeremy you look like mike tyson and
drake had a kid you're you're a solid solid man maybe even part pitbull part some sort of terrier
adrian conway is is supermodel shit you're you're more like you're more like the new james bond
what's what's that guy's name the old guy he was in casino royale yeah you're more daniel craig
and um uh adrian conway is more Roger Moore.
You know what I mean?
Polished.
You're more, Jeremy, you're more Ricky Garrard.
Like you got a little bit of alligator in you.
You're a little crow magnum.
Yeah, yeah, that's more Adrian Conway.
Yeah, like, oh, just perfect.
Prim and proper.
Yeah.
Jeremy's kind of guy.
You want to go,
you're a girl.
You want to go camping.
You take Jeremy with you.
It's a good reference.
You're going to travel a lot.
You,
you take Jeremy with you.
You're going to go to casinos.
Get Roger.
That's,
that's my team.
Drake is super gay.
Yeah.
That's exactly what I meant.
That Jeremy was super gay.
Totally.
Except when he gets around liberal girls.
Yeah, Daniel Craig's amazing, isn't he?
God, Daniel Craig.
What a fucking stud.
Anyway, so I think I like that.
I'm going to use that.
Computer versus casino.
Yeah, what a stud.
So good looking.
I love Casino Royale so much.
I want to ask Hiller if he thinks that guy juiced up for that role.
Got on some goods.
Gear.
Gear.
I don't know.
Got on gear.
He just looks like a normal buff guy almost.
He's just lean, clean looking.
Yeah.
I don't know.
He got kind of buff.
Oh, he did?
I mean, for that movie.
Do you think Brad Pitt was on gear in Troy?
Yeah.
Gear.
I want to start using that term more.
Gear.
He's on the gear.
That makes me sound more old school.
Like, I know I'm talking about the gear.
Jeremy is to Adrian.
Jeremy Eat World is to Adrian Conway what Taylor is to the
luggage thief. Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Why?
The luggage
thief.
I wonder what happened to that guy.
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apply visit rbc.com student offers uh okay we did we we yesterday we saw how COVID masks were made.
Oh, 120.
This one's great.
This one's great.
Brad Pitt was way too small for anabolics.
He was on something.
No way Brad Pitt was on gear.
No shit.
He was way bigger in Troy than any other movie.
If you look
at him in fight club versus troy it's two completely different body types oh no me and ft got the same
idol that sucks because we all gotta get along uh my heart hurts for the next generation what
kind of world are we living uh leaving for? Look at all these kids are fucking wearing masks during some sort of like...
Is that dude wearing an apron?
Yeah.
Dude, do not send your kids to school, people.
Do not.
Oh, shit, Pool Boy.
Billie Eilish has huge tits.
She does.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not joking.
I thought she was just a stick.
No, she's she she got body.
OK, so she's just playing it down.
That's her thing.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm trying to find a good picture, but there are like none.
Wow. Philip Kelly, huge knockers.
Is she 18?
Before you pull her up, is she 18?
She's like mid-20s.
Oh.
Wow, Pool Boy says they're absolutely beautiful.
So is Dick Butter.
Wow.
People have seen them?
Hey, Jake Chapman, why are you objectifying women?
Why do you think we're just objectifying women?
No.
Yeah, dude.
Wow.
It doesn't make sense.
Wow.
Okay, so they are huge.
She has to wear like the two,
she double bras to keep it all together.
Probably.
Hey, does she have a good voice?
Like a speaking voice?
Just like, does she sing good?
Like I listened to, like I didn't,
I listened to 10 videos.
I watched like 10 seconds of each
and I wasn't like, holy shit, this is like, like if I listen to Adele, I watched like 10 seconds of each and I wasn't like holy shit this is like
if I listen to Adele I'm like damn
oh
she doesn't have like that
kind of range I don't think
I think maybe one song she gets
or who is the chick with the big nose
with the black hair who died who is a drug addict
her voice is crazy
drive you crazy make you hard
fuck there was a drug addict. Her voice is crazy. Drive you crazy. Make you hard.
Fuck.
There was a documentary on her.
God, she was fucking nuts.
Long black hair, big nose, drug addict.
Amy Winehouse.
Thank you.
God damn.
Her voice is crazy. For sure.
Yeah.
Okay. number 120.
Please, please, just, just,
hey, dude, just leave your kid at home
and turn the TV on.
I'm serious.
It's fine.
With a bag of Doritos.
It's fine.
On the drag queen go,
shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
Anybody know what a shimmy is?
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. I think I have that in my head. you have a room full of kids wearing masks
with a guy reading to them about drag queens i don don't know if that's a guy, by the way.
I apologize if it's not.
And I'm miss-sexing him.
Fucking nuts, dude.
Hey, there's people listening to the show right now
whose kids are going to experience this tomorrow.
Tomorrow's Sunday, but...
Well, it's going to be at their church.
Rambler, she's thick yeah I didn't
I didn't know she was thick either
three C's
yeah
alright uh 119
sign language
I know this is this is a great bit
here great bit here Great bit
This is the kind of stuff I wish I would come up with
Here we go, enjoy
I'm a little distracted
This is the first show I've ever done with an interpreter
This is what they do right now
I'm trying to learn a new shape
Retard
Retard
Retard
Retard. Retard. Retard. Retard.
Retard.
Retard.
Retard.
Retard.
Democrat.
Democrat.
This is the same thing.
This is the same thing.
This is the same thing.
This is the same thing.
Democrat.
Democrat.
Retard.
Retard.
Democrat.
Democrat.
Can we pause this for a second?
Hey, think of how many levels this is
like offensive on because it's
a lady doing sign language and he's
incorporated deaf people and then it's like
the same thing between then he's using the word
retard and then filling it with
democrat
it's like god it's like a
hey this body is
nuts
this body is nuts can you body is nuts.
Can you make it just me?
It's crazy.
Those are real?
I think those are real.
I'm pretty sure those are real.
Yeah, she's crazy thick.
Yeah. Like Nicole Anna Smith. Do you know who that is? are real i'm pretty sure those are real yeah she's crazy thick yeah um like nicole anna smith
do you know who that is from the old calvin klein days yeah wow hey thanks for sending that to me
pool boy that's crazy wow i am i did save that photo what do you mean mike mccaskey said he's
gonna um oh those are really fake oh that sucks i don't think those are fake no way those are not fake i think they're i think they're
just put just huge and and like um um pushed up pushed up and oh sorry captain rogers anna nicole
what i say nicole anna alcohol fetal syndrome fetal alcohol syndrome Anna Nicole. Would I say Nicole Anna?
Alcohol fetal syndrome?
Fetal alcohol syndrome?
Yikes.
I used to work with people who were in that category,
and I would always get it confused.
Yeah, we all know what it'll look like in 20 years,
and I'm okay with it.
Caleb's got different views.
I'm okay with what it looks like in 20 years and i'm okay with it caleb's got different views i'm okay with what it looks like in 60 years yeah judy that is a tragic story right what a tragic tragic story son ods and then she ods what a mess anyway who would have thought that the sign language
retard and um democrat are the same, but that's kind of cool.
118, I think this might be Trish's motorhome.
Oh, and this link might not work because the whole account's been taken down, right?
Yep, it's gone.
So what happened?
Trish, Ron posted that Trish died and posted a picture, and then the whole account was taken down?
Yep. Why would you do that? Excuse me, why picture and then the whole account was taken down? Yep.
Why would you do that?
Excuse me, why would you take the whole account down?
Why would someone do that?
Why not just leave it up and just that's the last post?
Just cleanse the internet of
any semblance of Trish.
You think that person got...
That way I can't go back and look through those posts again.
Good thing I kept receipts.
I don't know.
If anyone's looking for.
Jesus Christ.
Great.
Yeah.
Someone blocked that.
I usually don't mind the porn stuff,
but like that person doesn't even look of age.
Someone blocked that shit I usually don't mind the porn stuff, but that person doesn't even look of age. Someone blocked that shit.
Jake Chapman, death is hard to accept, Sevan.
I would have talked about it anyway, Mr. Rogers.
You're saying they took it down so we talk about it.
I talk about it anyway.
I want to pull up the photo.
It was a great photo of a crashed motorhome, wasn't it?
It was great.
Yeah, it was good.
I don't even see it. Yeah, it was good. I don't even see it.
Yeah, it's gone.
Are we talking about Dick Butter? The account
isn't fully deleted?
Oh, you mean it's there
but with no posts?
No, it's not there at all. It's not?
No, I tried to find it
last night.
Okay, one, Philip Kelly knows who Trish is I think right someone knows I think uh
Wadzambi knows there's someone who knows everything oh look at someone blocked the porn ad that's cool that. Yeah, I did that. Oh.
Good job.
Okay, 117, gay.
I don't know what this is.
Just gay. This is just gay.
I hope it's really gay.
Not derogatory gay.
Hi, Rosie.
Oh, yeah, this is really gay. This is good. I like this.
Here we go.
You talk about gay people. Everybody gets all worked up.
Stop it. They're sensitive.
Why? Because they suck dick?
Stop it.
Okay, because they suck dick, they get to have a parade
and fuck up traffic for three days.
What the fuck is that? Girls, y'all suck dick.
Where's your parade?
Right.
Where's your parade?
And don't get it twisted.
I'm not homophobic, okay?
I'm just saying, okay, I ain't willing to take a 15-mile detour
so little bunny poopoo can walk up and down the street going,
yay for dick, I like it in the butt.
Not when gas
is $2.23 a gallon. Fuck you
bubbles. Go suck dick in your bedroom.
I ain't got no problem there.
Just get the fuck out of the road.
And gay people just take
shit that used to be everybody's and make it gay.
Remember when you was a kid, you just draw a picture
of your house, you put a nice big rainbow in the sky? Gay. They done took
the rainbow. I want the rainbow back. You can't have the rainbow, goddammit. We didn't
vote on this shit. I didn't get an email. Fuck you greedy bastards. How many colors
do you need, goddammit? You already got pink and now you need the whole fucking spectrum?
Jesus Christ. And what the fuck does a rainbow have to do with sucking dick anyway
Every every picture in my fucking house has a rainbow in it my kids are like rainbow aficionados
That's awesome.
Ralphie in this video looks like every blue hair lib on Twitter.
That's who that comedian is, Ralphie?
Yeah.
It said in the background big black comedy or something.
Is that a black guy?
No, I'm pretty sure he's white.
I don't even know anymore.
Oh, my God.
I fell down the fucking is,
is, is Barack Obama gay?
Um,
rabbit hole,
rabbit hole.
Have you seen,
have you seen,
he's a hundred percent gay.
He admits to being gay.
Really?
Have you seen the letters he wrote when he was in college to his ex
girlfriend?
Oh,
Oh dude. Hey, he, have you seen the letters he wrote when he was in college to his ex-girlfriend oh dude hey he
he was exploring a non-gender
mind
ahead of his time wow
well you know uh michelle's
actually a dude
oh and that rabbit hole is scary as
fuck are you talking about the video where she's
dancing and
you see a penis hitting and then and then and then so then i i looked it up and they're like
hey that's a cell phone in her pocket and i'm like dude those pants don't even have any pockets
yeah it's also like dangling in between her legs
has that crossed over if if this is if this is conspiracy theory right like and then this is fact
right so like the covet shot stops you from getting transmitting or getting um
uh the virus used to be conspiracy theory and then it crossed over into fact, right? Where is the Obama is a Michelle is a man.
Is it,
you think it's crossed over into like some fact?
I think there's,
yeah,
I think it's close.
What about the,
what about the guy on the internet who offered a hundred thousand dollars to
show pictures of her pregnant?
Can we,
I just want to,
I'll pay anyone a hundred thousand dollars if they can provide just one pictures of her um pregnant can we i just want i'll pay anyone
a hundred thousand dollars if they can provide just one picture of her pregnant you see i make
love to men daily but in the imagination yeah that's what i read yesterday i always thought
that that gay really just meant that who you met i always thought that if you need a litmus test for your sexuality it's who you masturbate to
okay like from a young age
I was like yeah well someone be like
how would you know if you're gay or not well who do you jerk off to
it's a reasonable litmus test
yeah
I find Michelle Obama
very attractive.
I'm sorry, Michael Obama.
I like big women, though.
That would make sense.
I mean, I didn't know I was if I am.
Never masturbated to a man.
That's...
Fuck, wow.
That's crazy.
Crazy. that's crazy crazy
and yeah that part was weird too right clock endless farce of earthly life
dude hates humanity yeah there is a whole hatred of kind of reality in there right
like he does not want to accept reality.
So, anyone can jerk off to two hot lesbians?
I know there's a good joke in there.
I'm not quite sure I get it.
Anyway, that's kind of an interesting story very
I don't mind
I don't mind if he's straight
I don't mind if he's gay
I don't mind if he's black
I don't mind if he's white
but the delusionary part is
unsettling
yeah
as the president of the United States
I don't want him to be delusional
If you are a man and masturbate to a trans woman
Are you gay or straight?
If you know it's a trans woman
You're talking about a man who dresses as a woman
Then you're gay
You have some gay in you
Okay I'm gay in you. Okay. Stop.
So, look at... This person even talks.
This person even talks like him.
This is nuts.
They talk like Trish.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. oh oh shit oh shit god this is a weird environment we've created
uh 116 it's fluid speaking of weird realities uh 116, the former president of the United States,
Ronald Reagan, would like to speak to us.
This was a Democratic fundraising rally at a hotel.
And outside, when all of them were coming out, there was a kid there with a bunch of puppies.
And he was trying to sell them.
And he was saying, come buy a Democrat
puppy. Buy a Democrat puppy. Two weeks later, the Republicans held a fundraiser in the same hall,
and there was the same kid with the same puppies. When they were coming out, he was saying, buy a
Republican puppy. Well, one of the press, a newspaper man who'd seen him two weeks before,
said, hey, kid, wait a minute. Two weeks weeks ago you were trying to sell these puppies as democrats what are you doing here now trying to sell them as republicans
kid says now they got their eyes open
this was a democrat i'm so behind that seems so apropos to 2023 doesn't it? Yeah, absolutely. I'm so behind.
I can't believe he said this in the 90s.
That's pretty wild.
When I was programmed to hate him.
Or the 80s. Sorry, the 80s.
That's perfect.
Jake Chapman.
Gotta hate politics.
Jake just wants us to talk about hogs all day
uh Miss Winston
man
I love hogs
oh no man
I read
Twittius's
Michael Twittius's post.
We have a new champion for moral virtue.
What's going on over there?
Andrew Poet made a video about him today.
Have you seen that?
Yes.
That's awesome.
Oh my god, this thing is
fucking on fire.
Holy shit.
Oh my god, it already has fucking 86 comments.
Woo.
That's great. my goodness
that's great
uh It just goes on and on.
Shitting on you for Tropic of Thunder
check my community post
to see the next
what's really disappointing is he doesn't have an Instagram.
Damn.
Did you see this? Damn.
Someone wrote in the comments, it's a hater.
I think this guy is always a hater.
This guy rides my jock so hard.
His name is DC100DC100.
It says, the condition is dwarfism.
Actually, that's not true.
That's a presupposition right there.
The name for the condition is dwarfism,
and the fact that it's a condition is also speculative, but whatever, subjective. But let's go on. The
condition is dwarfism, so dwarf is necessary. So dwarf if necessary. So dwarf if necessary.
This may come from a lack of knowledge, but once you've been educated, it's wrong.
This is like seven saying
that calling a black person a monkey isn't racist well and by itself it isn't racist unless you
think it's racist that's the whole point this god man there are some fucking straight dumb
retarded people out there this is amazing that's crazy
uh
uh
that's just all misdirection shit by the way that person's post it's like to try to incite
violence by saying that by bringing that up by saying that i said that that's just like a rally
call for idiots you know what i mean it's like if you see a bunch of zombies and you shoot up a
flare and then they all come running to you virtue signaling some might say
yeah
this is uh wow
congratulations Andrew
your fucking account is on fire
holy shit
he went from the most humble man in fitness to the biggest
bully in fitness
oh my goodness.
Did you see the
this like tweet or post or whatever?
I didn't and won't,
but I will and am.
The hypocrisy continues.
Both are messages that have been forwarded to me
from people in the community
having conversations with Michael Wittius.
Hey, you got Hiller's number. I want to talk. I didn't do shit to him.
And he makes a video about me canceling him, which I didn't. I would have canceled
Sevan over him if I could, but I didn't and won't. But just so you know, this guy sent me a threatening DM,
this Michael Wittius guy. I didn't understand the threat at the time. Now I understand it.
He's basically saying he's going to take a clip from my account where I accuse him of spreading
racial slurs and use it against me because I said the racial slur out loud. Guess what?
Guess what? CrossFit is involved. They are handling it. The more of them that keep jumping into attack me,
the more we'll be punished.
I've talked to the heads of the company.
They don't want another Greg like situation for the company.
And seven is doing that with all of his followers.
Oh,
so,
so he's saying he spoke to Don.
Is that what he's saying?
Sounds like it.
Yeah.
Oh yeah. What do you think they're going. Oh, yeah?
What do you think they're going to do, dude?
What do you think they're going to do, Mr. Weirdius?
Tell me.
Are they going to make it so I can't come to my office
every morning at 7 a.m. and do my show?
Dude, imagine posting that.
Michael, what if I told you I talked to Don yesterday
and the day before and the day before and the day before too?
Then what would you say?
What if I start posting that stuff?
What if I told you I talked to Don's boss yesterday?
Dang.
The head of the board yesterday.
Do you tell him about all the songs that he used that were racist?
Yeah.
What if I told him that, hey, we got a racist dwarf in the midst? board yesterday do you tell him about all the songs that he used that were racist yeah what
if i told him that hey we got a we got a racist dwarf in the midst he's promoting he's promoting
yeah who's promote who feels like it's important every time he lifts that some rapper says uh
racial slurs i told him that i i have clips of you doing that yeah of working out to racial slurs
sent them over and you and your head is shaved
you have the total kkk sorry sorry k i'm too close to home killer wears a hat it's different it's
different um savon did you get it dm or screenshot of mikey saying he's been in contact with CFHQ and they're handling it as they don't want another Greg situation
I
just I honestly I have
not been following it that
close people have been sending me stuff
I'm
but that
was the first time when Kayla pulled that up that's the first
time I've seen any of that stuff
but nothing surprises me that what this guy do, what this guy does.
Basically, this is what I think.
If you want a good metaphor for what happened.
Basically, this guy is a fish that jumped onto the deck of a boat.
And now he's flopping around and he's going to and he's probably going to die on the deck of the boat because no one's gonna kick him back in the water i mean he has he's he's and he's gonna do some
desperate shit he's probably crazy desperate like cancel people's instagram accounts call hq i mean
like what do you think don's gonna be like wait a second do you think don's gonna look at that
clip of me pointing out to you that you're a uh and that he's going to think that I'm a racist because I'm pointing out that you're a racist?
And even if he does, what's anyone going to do to me? I'm going to be here every morning at 7 a.m.
Go, FY. I'm assuming this is a quote from mikey uh widius the podium ceremony left a bad taste in
my mouth for sure getting treated as a misfit toy and not even receiving the same shirt as the
podium finishers was shocking oh fuck dude the fact that you were he really wrote that somewhere
yeah god this guy's wild at some point it's like we're beating up our sister
with our disabled sister.
Little sister.
At some point, we gotta stop.
Or I gotta stop.
But not yet.
Oh my goodness.
This is crazy that he wrote this.
I'm assuming this is a direct quote from his Instagram account.
Had to be.
That's fucking crazy.
Wow.
My shirt.
Vindicate.
CrossFit's going to tell someone that he can't use the footage from the games that he shot on his own dime.
And is distributing on his own.
That would be amazing.
That would be fucking crazy.
At the end of the day, you have to everyone please understand.
I'm going to get off this mic.
I'm going to go to jujitsu then the skate park then tennis and then talk to all my
friends and play and laugh and then come back and do the show again and the show is absolutely
murdering it and i guess i'm just saying this because at some point, Whittier should just walk away.
Mikey, if you're listening, the only way this goes away for you is you have to leave it alone.
You have to go find something to do and let like six months pass.
If you keep like fucking around, we're just going to keep – you're just getting – you're like a marionette and everyone's just playing you, dude.
You got to stop.
You're like the fucking mouse that's almost dead that all the cats are just slapping around.
It's fucked up.
It is fucked up.
How narcissist can someone be to try to cancel someone and get a mob to support your cause?
Someone hurt your feelings rather than just turn off and not pay attention to it man up and grow up yeah well it's
worse than that he's he's actually he's he's just so inconsistent basically a hypocrite that's the
crazy part and he doesn't realize that yet it's crazy. All right.
How are we on time?
Oh, 830.
Let's see.
Ronald Reagan.
What's this one?
I'm not wearing a mask for anyone.
114.
Oh, by the way, I should bring it up tomorrow.
I got good news. Good news.
What's up?
Oh, for tomorrow.
Oh, here we go.
This is nuts.
Nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts.
Watch this.
This is this guy's at Dunkin Donuts.
Here we go.
This is a pumpkin swirl frozen coffee.
Who the thought it was a good idea to put this on the menu?
Because this drink
has 185 grams of sugar in here. How much is it? It's this much. It's 46 teaspoons of sugar. To
give you another perspective, the amount of sugar in there is equal to 14 glazed donuts. Plus,
there's no pumpkin in here.
It's artificial flavors.
There's 12 mentions of sugar and high fructose corn syrup in there.
There's 930 calories and 194 carbs.
Two-thirds of us are already type 2 diabetic or pre-diabetic.
If America runs on this, we're f***ed.
Hey.
14 donuts? America runs on this. We're f***ed. Hey.
14 donuts?
I couldn't even eat 14 donuts in one sitting.
If I tried.
I don't know the guy's name or what channel that is. But when I saw that, I was like...
I wonder what...
I think if I drank that
something would happen to me
I don't think I'm
capable of drinking that
I'd start having palpitations probably
yeah totally
yeah I was thinking
hey I was totally thinking that
I'd rather have 14 donuts
totally for sure that's so funny
I was have 14 donuts. Totally. For sure. That's so funny. I was like, 14 donuts?
Why would I want to drink 14 donuts?
Yeah, I'd rather eat them for sure.
Dennis O'Leary, Bobby Parrish.
Wow.
That's his name.
Caller, hi.
Hey.
Hey, what's up, Caleb?
Hey, what's up?
So, I got a guy I kind of work with.
He's very overweight.
Wait, hold on. Sorry, hold on one second.
Sorry, hold on one second.
Of course, my shit's all fucked up again.
I'm going to buy a new Rodecaster today.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Okay, you're back.
Go ahead.
Okay, so you have a client.
Hello?
Hello? Oh, shit. Are you have a client. Hello. Hello.
Oh shit.
Are you there?
Okay.
Wait.
Okay.
Take seven.
Go ahead.
So just to show you how addictive these drinks are.
I got a buddy of mine who I work with.
He is very overweight,
huge belly.
Can't even barely walk. I told him, dude, you got to CrossFit. You got to get out and move. He is very overweight, huge belly, can't even barely walk.
I told him, dude, you got to CrossFit.
You got to get out and move. He goes, yeah,
I'm trying to watch what I eat. I'll watch what I eat.
But if I have
to go without my caramel
large macchiato from Dunkin'
Donuts, that's the sword I will
die on. I was like, dude,
if that's the case, then you're going to fucking die.
I don't understand it
you did tell him that you did tell him that yeah yeah i said you are going to have a heart attack
and you are going to die say well then i can't live without my caramel macchiato i'm like
well then i don't fucking tell you then dude fucking fucking nuts i used to i used to go to
starbucks order a frappuccino and and ask for extra caramel squeezed on it.
And then I started doing CrossFit, and I started getting educated in the ways, and I stopped doing that.
Then, I think it was at the two—I hadn't done that probably in five years.
And then at the 2000—it was the last year.
I didn't cover the games.
It must have been 2020.
It was the COVID year, I think, when they were doing some dress rehearsals for the games. Dave was didn't cover the games it must have been 2020 it was the COVID year I think
when they were doing some dress
rehearsals for the games Dave was testing one of the
games I went to Starbucks and I got one
and I ordered that and I probably hadn't ordered it in
five years and I got halfway through it
and something happened to me like I like
like Kayla was saying like I
started having some heart palpitations and
shit I was like wow I'm not
I'm not this shit's fucking
dangerous and yet those people your body realizes palpitations and shit. I was like, wow, I'm not I'm not. This shit's fucking dangerous.
And yet those people. Your body realizes
your body realizes it was poison. Yeah, it was
crazy.
Joe Westland says, I haven't
been to Dunkin' in years, but I'm curious what it tastes like
and what it will do to my body.
Tell me what happens if you drink that
whole thing. Have a
defibrillator. I could
I had to go on a three-week diet.
I couldn't have any dairy. I couldn't have any
fish, no salt.
I could only eat beef and
fruits and vegetables.
I started drinking my coffee black.
No sweetener, no nothing
because I only put a little bit of milk.
I started going back to the milk
three weeks later. I couldn't do it.
Even a little bit of milk was a huge difference in black coffee.
I recently just switched to pretty much strict black coffee too.
And I feel so much better.
It's crazy.
And I would,
I would justify coffee.
I would justify a little heavy cream,
but now I'm like totally fine.
Maybe,
maybe,
maybe I do do that. Not very more fruit and heavy cream? Maybe.
I do do that.
Not very often, but I do do that.
But maybe our taste buds are changing because we're getting older.
How old are you?
Are you 45?
Yeah, I'm turning 50 in March.
Okay, and I'm 51.
Maybe our taste buds are changing.
Yeah, I think so.
I'm starting to like foods that I didn't like before,
and now the tide is changing. Yeah, you're probably right.
Anyway, my point of that video was, as long as people are drinking those, I'm not wearing a mask for anyone.
We live in a world where people drink that shit. Fuck you. You're on your own.
I kind of told my mom and my sister yesterday, because my sister's got a two-year-old.
I showed her that Hulkle video,
because we live here in New York.
That video is scary.
Which one is that?
Oh, the woman saying that six-month-old babies need to get the shot,
and if you don't, you're being mean to your baby?
Yeah, they're going to be in a cold, scary, dark place that they don't know.
And I'm like, my mom's so liberal.
She'll vote for Hulkle every day of the week.
And I said, you cannot vote for this woman again.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Oh, I'm so glad to hear you're in this position.
God, misery loves company. This is so great.
What did she say? Are you making any progress
on your mom?
No.
No.
People like to think that Hispanics
are very liberal, but in the heart of hearts, they are conservative.
It's just that they have been brainwashed here in New York to just vote Democrat.
Curtis Sliwa, he was a really good candidate. Now look at Adams. Adams doesn't even care anymore.
He sided with Joe Biden. He wanted to run that platform.
And now he's crying poverty that New York has to spend $12 billion a year
on the homeless crisis.
You're talking about the mayor?
Yeah, Mayor Adams.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The mayor in LA is now freaking out too.
Completely freaking out.
You know, just like you live in a nice area in California, completely freaking out.
Just like you live in a nice area in California, I live in a very
Republican area in Long Island.
So I'm kind of comfortable here.
But for the most part, it is a shithole.
Yeah, my area
is not Republican at all.
But it's just that I'm out in the sticks.
I mean, relative to
most people.
And they leave you alone.
Yeah, everyone leaves you alone.
Yeah, everyone leaves you alone.
And actually, what is interesting is there are a lot of American
flags around here.
So maybe I'm wrong, but
man, you should see
our downtown, which is
like seven miles from me.
Man, it's weirdo central.
Yeah, the tide has turned in Manhattan.
It smells of weed.
It's people, there's bums everywhere.
The crime is crazy.
It's like a different world.
No one wants to go there anymore.
Jethro, when I was a kid, they had all these rules in Santa Cruz.
I was a hippie, and they would never let us, like,
they wouldn't let the hippies really on the sidewalks like we weren't even
allowed to like we couldn't go into a grocery store buy
some food and like sit down on the ground and eat
right. We weren't allowed to bring our
dogs anywhere but there were no homeless people.
Now that street
that I wasn't allowed to just hang out on
as a fucking you know 20 year old hippie
is completely littered
with fucking fentanyl addicts. I actually
saw my first person odine on
trank oh that's a new shit right yeah that new shit i saw it it was crazy and they do they bend
over and they start like what they're like a praying mantis they start doing they like completely
bend over but they stay on their feet and they start doing some crazy movements it's nuts and
it was at my kid's skate park that's another thing that's crazy so like when i see crazy
shit at the skate park i'm like all right i i know that no one cares about my kids like now
nothing you say matters to me i don't i don't give a fuck about anything you say after that
fuck you and your climate change anything black lives matter climate change lgbz fuck you you
don't care about kids because you let fucking trank users at the skate park i'm done i'm done
it's a vicious it's a vicious cycle because you vote these people in who don't care about kids because you let fucking Trank users at the skate park I'm done It's a vicious cycle because you vote these people in
Who don't let the cops do their job
When the cops get called
Why would I take care of a homeless person
And maybe have to arrest them
And maybe even shoot them because they're attacking me
Why bother
Because no one's going to defend me in court
It's a vicious cycle
Crime has become okay
Yeah well
That's what you got
Well I'm glad you live in a good neighborhood
Congratulations that's good
And I'm glad I live in a good neighborhood
Yeah thanks man
Alright cool have a great weekend guys
Okay bye
Later dude
Oh 103
I'll finish this show
I'll finish this show with this if um uh mikey wants to do
get on a mikey uh withius wants to get on a bandwagon like to do something that really matters
you want to stop but by the way i don't know if you know this but at its core at its foundation
uh nazism fascism totalitarianism, all that shit requires the government to control words.
Requires the government to control words.
That's what you're trying to do.
You're trying to control speech and words.
At its foundation, that's like the first thing that has to be done.
You can see it in all the fucking – it it's in uh how to be a nazi control
the words so let go of the words stop worrying about the words so much that's not really your
specialty and go after something that's real like sugar just focus on that let the people who
who say words let them free it's delusional shit anyway you're doing
it's coward shit
and you're just a tool of the fucking
fascist regime
and go after this, this guy on the right here
is the fucking president
of fucking
Instagram
and here he is drinking cokes
on a podcast
that should be your worry.
That should be your concern.
Not that he can't drink Coke.
Drink all the Coke you want.
But that he's condoning this behavior.
That he's condoning this behavior.
They're not even open.
That's the funny part.
I think eventually he opens it
and starts drinking it.
It's like, dude, do stuff.
This guy is one of the,
this guy arguably is the biggest influencer
on planet Earth. He controls all the other influencers.
And he's got a coke out.
Why don't you write him 10.
Instead of getting Hiller kicked off of Instagram.
Write him 10 nice letters.
And be like hey dude.
It would be cool.
I have kids and I want this to be a good world for them.
Why don't you just drink water at the table.
It's much more powerful.
It's real. What you're doing isn't even real real real real
r-e-a-l That guy masks his kids too.
He had a bunch of posts where his kids are wearing masks
as they're riding their bikes around Golden Gate Park.
Sad.
We were just talking about all the nonsense.
All the what?
All the regulations and rules that we had to follow
in the military and the hospital.
Yeah.
We had to sign in every morning and say, hey, we don't have any symptoms.
And if we didn't, we were going to get reprimanded.
There were sheets of paper on the doors that you had to check in.
And if you signed it saying you did not have any symptoms and you actually had symptoms, you were going to get reprimanded for it.
How would they know? If you say you're not coughing, but and you actually had symptoms, you were going to get reprimanded for it. How would they know?
Like if you say you're not coughing, but they see you coughing?
Yeah.
Caller, hi.
What are you, a horse?
Sounds like you're a horse walking in grass.
No, I just got done with the run.
This is Harry Paratestes.
Oh, hey, what's up, Mr. Testes?
It's hanging low.
I understand.
I was calling in. I calling in i was listening to
you while i was running and uh you know you're talking about redefining language and finding out
what's real or not and um i'm a therapist and i work with schizophrenia a lot and one of the
things we do is this technique called reality checking. And so like, if I'm sitting in, you
know, a normal therapy session with somebody with schizophrenia and they're like, Hey, there's
somebody in this room, you know, or they're telling me about hallucinations, I'll sit there
and I'll go, okay, can you touch them? And they'll like get up and they'll walk across the room to
where this thing is. They'll try and reach out and they're like no i'm like does it
talk to you and you know it's different for different cases and whatnot but you go through
this like iterative process of eliminating all of these senses and at the very end of the process
of just reality checking you're like okay so if none of that's real you can't feel it i don't see
it nobody that you ask sees it How do you know it's real?
And so they eventually get to this point where they're like, oh, maybe my perception
is a really unreliable determinant of reality. And it seems like, you know, in Mikey's case,
he's got all these perceptions of words, of behaviors, of intentions.
And unfortunately, sympathetically, nobody's in his circle to say, hey, so is any of this real?
Did Lauren Fisher cause any tangible harm?
Or is this just your perception that nobody else is experiencing in objective reality?
It's just interesting.
Hey, dude.
And here's the thing. If he were to be like like what you just said is amazing and thank you for calling if he were to be like no it's not but i would be so
happy at least then i would realize he knew right like there's things that hurt my feelings that i
know i've chosen to hurt my feelings and give power over to. I can admit that. Right. And I know at
the end of the day, when I go to bed, I have to let those things go. If I want to be happy,
I can keep holding onto them. Right. There's things my wife says that hurt my feelings. Right.
And I know that I'm holding onto them. This guy doesn't even know.
This guy isn't like, yeah, you're right. In right inherently the word retard has no negative things and
actually actually it's me who's demanding that everyone follow the rules of this word
and i'm okay with it being an asshole then i'd be like well fuck okay i mean i could maybe get
behind that he doesn't even know right well he thinks that the fucking boogeyman is real he
really is insisting that this dude's in the room. It's the same thing with those. That's why he said something in a post that said, hey, I'm sorry I had to out Sevan, but he deserves it. And I'm thinking to myself, you didn't out me. You outed yourself.
it's rude to call a black person a monkey not any more than it is to call a white person a monkey they think that i'm being racist when they've just outed themselves for saying that they think
black people look like monkeys it's like i i don't know if you can talk do you have you ever
talked someone out of have you ever walked someone to like hey dude have you ever walked someone out
of their delusion oh for sure you know. Congratulations. Would you give Mike Wittius a
free, like three free sessions? Would you give him five sessions if I paid for it? I think,
I think the critical piece for any type of conversation like that is the patient or client
has to at least 50% be willing to be wrong and change their mind.
And I mean, really with any psychotherapy, any talk therapy,
anything I do that's successful or any positive outcome hinges on the individual
at least being open and willing to hear a different perspective.
And so in referencing terminology and whatnot,
and whatever word he finds offensive,
you know, with patients that I've worked with in the past that are like, you know, an abusive
parent or a borderline bipolar individual that, you know, exhibits the same behavior where it's
like, oh, they said this and that only means that. I'll ask them like, hey, what do you think
is a better word for them to use? And they'll give
me their preferred term or whatever. And I said, okay, but let's assume they're as evil as you say
they are. Does that change them if they just say it differently? So whether or not it's the word
retard, whether or not it's mentally handicapped, does that change the inherent nature of the
individual you're saying is inherently evil.
And so it kind of works them into this pit where they have to answer like,
oh, I guess the word really doesn't, the word is not the issue, it's the individual.
And in that case, that's where we just end up getting to a point where like, okay,
if this individual pisses you off or really disturbs your life to such an extent you're sitting here with me,
then why even entertain their presence? Why are you looking at their social media?
Why are you doing anything that sets you off? Because clearly you've destined them to an
eternity of just evil. So it's like, okay, you just answered that you can't change them.
So move on. And most of the time over multiple and multiple sessions, people finally get to the point where they're just like, oh, I can just block that person.
And then I'm not quote unquote triggered or I'm not set off by my parent doing the XYZ if I'm not around them as much.
But I think Mikey would be well served by just recapitulating and thinking differently about
what his actual issue is and if he could actually affect that issue with just the simple change of a
word yeah and the thing is is i don't have an issue with him being offended by those words that's his choice i fully accept that
sure i fully accept that and if he wants to like send someone a message and say
hey just so you know there's people like me who've chosen to let that word hurt me
i'd be like okay i feel you like there's certain words that i've i've a lot that i allow to hurt
me too yeah we can work on that together but like going back to what you were saying, it's like then to go after someone else.
And here's,
I know I'm conflating,
I'm conflating ideas here,
but what's even crazier is,
is it's one step removed.
It's a quote from a movie.
It is,
uh,
exactly.
Yeah,
it is.
It is bizarre.
Uh,
and then,
and then this thing where he says that he went to CrossFit.
One, somehow that's even going to matter to me or punish me.
I'm my own little fucking mini kingdom here.
And second of all, there's a good chance that Don is like,
oh, fuck, we got a delusional fucking dwarf out there.
I mean, I know Don has to weigh lots of things too, right? there's a good chance that Don is like, Oh fuck, we got a delusional fucking dwarf out there. Like there's a chance,
you know,
I mean,
I know Don has to weigh lots of things too,
right?
They have to take the pulse of how many crazies are at the fucking door with
the pitchforks.
But,
um,
sure.
But fuck dude.
Yeah.
It's bizarre.
I appreciate you calling by the way.
Yeah,
no problem.
Yeah.
I just think it comes down to,
you sound like a good therapist.
You have a good voice.
You're calm.
You're chill. Yeah. Well, I think think it comes down to... You sound like a good therapist. You have a good voice. You're calm. You're chill.
Yeah.
Well, I think, you know, I was telling my wife last night,
I was updating her on all the Mikey Swoosh drama.
And I was saying, you know, it's interesting.
This mirrors a lot of what I see in the clinic
with all of these different types of people.
And what it ultimately, I think, comes down to is
every person at some level has an elevated sense of their own relevance in the world.
And, you know, obviously, I think many of us think, well, hey, I want to do my best and I want to positively affect my community, my environment, my CrossFit box, whatever it is.
But at the same time, two things can be true one you can
have that desire and two you can realize me alone i'm probably not going to change the trajectory
of a word or the dictionary or our understanding of social cues and whatnot um and he's you know
clearly adhering very closely to this idea that him alone is going to fight this grand battle that no one else is engaging him in.
It's just him.
And it's like Don Quixote's fighting the windmills in the field.
It's like, yeah, those are just windmills, man.
Those aren't giants.
Nothing's there.
You're just out in the field alone swinging the sword.
You're not drawing any blood.
You're not cutting down any enemies. you're just out alone making noise um so certainly it's i'm sympathetic
to his case not because i agree with it at all but because it's just i mean i almost pity it
because it's a horrible and just dysfunctional way of living but what do you think yeah what do you think about the
characteristic of humans to demand others believe their reality when it makes the group as a whole
weaker like so well i think i would i would argue that if we all let go of the word is retard be
offensive we all we all are freed from the weight of that and we are all better
one less thing to be offended by and and we're you know we're kind of freer i'm also would demand
though that if you put your hand over a stove that we all believe it burns your hand i'm also you
know um right but other people are demanding that like hey anyone who says this word we all must
attack them and we must be offended by them.
For some reason, I find that is like the most vile characteristic a human being can have.
It's like the opposite of being around a winner.
A hundred percent.
Yeah, I think a couple of things.
You're really validating me now.
You should send Susan an invoice.
I will.
I will, at least for a free t-shirt or something. But yeah, I think there's two ways to think about that problem.
One, people don't like to think because at the end of that road, you're either wrong
or you're still wrong.
Nobody is born with the inherent correct answers.
And so it is a
constant process. Living is a constant process of just being wrong. Um, you know, to change your
mind, that's you admitting that you were wrong, uh, to come into therapy with me and talk about
whatever's to come in ultimately for me to subtly and very calmly and, you know, compassionately say, yeah, what you're thinking right now isn't right.
Like it's clearly not working.
So I think in the grand scheme of things, people will are resistant to, you know, thinking, which makes them resistant to changing their outlook on, you know, who or what is correct.
their outlook on who or what is correct.
Because Mikey Swoosh,
at the end of all of his process of thinking that's got him to this point,
he doesn't think there's any other way around it.
There's no other option for anything to be true in the world
other than his own current opinion.
So it's a scary process.
You don't even think a tiny piece of him is like,
wow, it's actually me who's the racist.
You don't think it's crept in even a little bit?
Like he's looked at himself and been like,
oh shit, I'm demanding that people be...
Oh shit, that's because I think I'm better than other...
Oh no, you don't think that there's some like...
Oh, I for sure think that that's possible. I think I'm better than other people. Oh, no. You don't think that there's some like... Oh, I for sure think that that's possible.
I think that's possible.
But then you have to consider if he has that realization,
he can do one of two things.
One, he can post to his Instagram
and say, hey, guys, I'm a racist.
Not so long.
Which, I mean, talk about a daunting task.
Or two, he's got to have the humility to admit to himself fully and accept it that, wow, I was wrong.
You know, I was kicking up dust over something where I didn't have a clear picture of what was true.
So I think I think the obstacles he probably realizes that or probably has some inclination that maybe I should just not pursue this.
Yeah.
But then that requires him to, you know, have a front tail and be humble.
That's, that's what my advice to him was like, hey, dude, just lay low for six months or a year and let this pass and like process some shit.
Like you seriously, you'll come out better on the other side.
For sure.
I have a question for you
off subject do you ever when you're in the room with these people um get get the get the ebgbs
like like so i'll give you an example i had this guy on who a ufo a guy who said like the ufos were
really like angels and gods and shit and like one had come and like they'd come visit him in his
house and after the show
was over or as the show was ending he goes yeah and if anyone wants to see these angels and you
have so ufos just look up to the heavens and be like hey show yourself so the show's over and it's
like 11 o'clock at night and i have to leave my studio and walk back to my house and it's really
dark out here right and i look up to the heavens and i'm like maybe i should
ask for them to show themselves and then i fucking get scared and i start running back to my house
like i freak my you ever get in there and like and and when someone's like yeah um michael's in
the room with us right now and he has a knife and like you feel like the hairs on your back
kind of stand up you're like oh oh a hundred percent yeah i've yeah i've had i've had schizophrenia patients that you know talked about
what they're seeing in the room and even you know patients that are like that are homicidal
yeah or have homicidal ideation and they're telling you like i bought a gun because i'm
going to kill my husband oh my goodness oh my god and so like you're you're just sitting there
having these conversations with folks and even folks that are contemplating suicide
Or just came out of the emergency room
For attempting suicide
Yeah you get like the heebie jeebies
And kind of a shiver where you're just like
This is a side of life
I'm glad I don't live in
Or do you ever think that what I'm saying is
They might be telling the truth
Like you know when your dog keeps like your home alone
You're 12 years old and your dog keeps looking up in the corner of the room you're like hey
motherfucker stop right there's nothing up there what are you doing you're fucking with me
well that's you know when i get spooked in that situation i always just say
hey can you show me can you prove that okay um and then it puts the onus on them to you know
substantiate their claim because ultimately like that delusion is the, you know, the foundation of their mental unhealth.
So the more I can pull that out and set it on its own in their mind, one, that helps them in session.
But then, too, it just helps me not get creeped out because I'm like, oh, yeah, OK, thank God they can't prove that.
It just helps me not get creeped out because I'm like, oh, yeah.
OK, thank God they can't prove that.
When is that woke shit going to hit your profession where that when they're like, well, actually, those those voices are real.
Actually, you are like, oh, dude, it's it's already here.
And, you know, it really comes down to trans issues and schizophrenia.
Yeah. I mean, that's the biggest thing in our clinics where I ask our clinic directors and other folks in our clinic. I'm like, so why do we say to the schizophrenic, hey, yeah, that voice isn't real.
Nobody else hears it.
But if a kid comes in, a 15-year-old that's trans with a bunch of piercings and yada, yada, yada, we're like, oh, my gosh, we need to affirm what they're doing and their care.
So I always push back.
I'm like, what gives us the authority to tell no to one person and yes to the other?
Because neither they can prove and we can't prove either.
Like which delusions in vogue, which one do we accept and which ones are we going to like help
them like reconcile? Correct. Yeah. So like a lot of the answers are, well, the individual with schizophrenia,
you know, they have a difficult time holding a job and all this kind of stuff, yada, yada, yada.
And just recently I had the conversation with, with a couple of our therapists where I'm like,
let me ask you, like in the community, how many like trans teenagers or trans adults do you meet?
And everybody was like, ah, you know, maybe one. And I'm like, how many are in the clinic? And we're like, well, we've got like 20.
And I'm like, okay, well then what does that say about that lifestyle?
Right, right, right. Because, you know, fish don't, fish don't run on land, they're in water.
Tattoos and piercings have strong correlates like that too hey someone uh
clock wrote this in the comments there's an entire dimension of cancel culture that's being missed
here this is interesting what he says it's a mouthful here we go the lefty woke crowd identifies
you as part of the enemy tribe then they use your violation of their made up rules to hurt you.
Yeah.
So that's what this guy's kind of doing,
right?
I just said,
I said a word that he's promoting and then he's taking this sentence that I use that I accused him of and twisting it to be like,
Hey,
I'm racist.
Cause I was pointing out that he,
because of something I said in my vernacular,
it's like,
they just,
they just,
their rules are fluid.
Yeah. And they change are it's bizarre i'm trying to think if i do that anywhere in my life where i could empathize with it where
like i'm always changing the rules in order to suit my what is in order to what suits me
i guess if you don't have values or morals, you can, you can kind of do that.
I think most people do it in subtle ways. You know, like, of course I do that with my wife.
If we're in an argument, I'm like, well, that's not what I said. Even though in my own mind, I'm like, yeah, I'm a dumb ass. Like I obviously said that earlier, but you know, it's my own
douchebag pride that upholds this shifting of the chessboard and trying to get my way.
But I think the difference is my mental health doesn't hinge on me doing that behavior.
Whether or not my wife says, yeah, you're an idiot, and most of the time she's right,
doesn't crush me.
Whereas a lot of folks in world in world culture even in the clinics
i work at it's like they have to shift the rules because they're so far from reality
wow if that makes any sense yeah yeah yeah yeah
well thank you for calling i'm gonna rank you as um uh best caller ever to call into the show in three years.
I like all the callers, by the way.
Pretty much. Even the ones I don't like, I like.
Thank you. That was awesome.
It's going to be tough to beat.
Yeah, no problem.
Are you all going to be at Rogue?
Caleb's going to be there.
I will be there.
Nice. I think the wife and I are going to head up there.
So hopefully I can track you down, Beaver. Sounds good, dude. I'll be there. Awesome think i think the wife and i are going to head up there so hopefully
i can track you down beaver sounds good dude i'll be there awesome dude call in anytime appreciate
you awesome okay have a good one bye thanks harry bye oh yeah harry pair of testes yeah that sounds
like a doctor's name yeah absolutely dr testes we have a our urologist is Dr. Zipper.
For real?
Actually, yeah.
I've never seen this person.
Trococox.
Trococox.
Bye, Audrey.
Did Audrey post a picture of a hog
that's the size of a Pringles can?
If she did, I want to see that.
She didn't post it. She sent it to a very specific group of people, I think.
I'm not in that group, apparently.
Whoa, I always trip.
You know, me and David are coming closer and closer.
There's more of these.
I'm pretty sure David wrote right away when the guy called, hang up.
there's more I'm pretty sure David wrote right away when the guy called hang up
think of how think of how malleable
and open-minded you are David that you went from
hang up to great call
that's amazing
hey if it is if it is a giant
hog send a picture of like a hand holding
it to me or next to something
let's see if they sent it
i just felt my phone vibrate i still can't get over this picture of billy eilish my goodness
oh philip kelly thank you for sending me that post
Oh, Philip Kelly, thank you for sending me that post.
Something happened to my eyes.
I can't see close up with my glasses on anymore.
It's weird.
I used to be able to see close up with my glasses on.
That is weird.
It's a new development.
Oh, what's this oh shit
someone said the dwarf was probably
the crank caller
remember that crank caller we had the other day
who was just screaming racial slurs non-stop during the show
they wouldn't stop calling
I don't know if you were on that show
someone said that was probably the dwarf
he has a name Mike Wittius I wouldn't stop calling. I don't know if you were on that show. No, I wasn't. Someone said that was probably the dwarf.
His name is Mike Wittius.
I know it's a lot to type out, but you don't have to be a dick.
It's got a lot of vowels in it.
I guess he'll down with those vowels.
What would they call me?
Like, if you didn't want to say my name. You know that dwarf guy that Hiller was fighting with?
Or, you know the dwarf guy that hillar was fighting with or you know the
guy the army would you say the armenian guy the old the old armenian guy that has the crossfit
podcast like what do i get like if you can't think of my name what do you what do you say
they probably just say the racist bigot
oh that hurts that hurts. That hurts.
Why can't it be something good?
You know, the guy who stands up to cancel culture.
How about that?
No, she didn't send it to me unless she sent it to, um, uh, I haven't gotten it either.
Um, oh, here's something else.
Someone said to me. Mikey Whitty says, i guess you are cool with him using the n word
there is never any context for someone to use that word really but i'm not going to argue about
you with with that oh my goodness oh my. It just keeps getting better, honestly.
What if I said that my entire life is committed to going after people who say,
and I said that word, then I would be in trouble?
How would he wrap his head around that?
Oh, only in rap songs and only on Mike Wittius' account
are you allowed to use that word.
I mean, he contradicts himself.
There is never any context.
Dude, every song on your fucking Instagram account
is from a rapper who uses that word incessantly.
Crazy, right?
Yeah, it's so weird that he conflates all these issues.
Well, at least we had a shrink
call in and kind of um talking to him makes me want to just talk to a therapist just to
yeah he was pretty good right just want to talk to him
hey mike i would pay for that dude to be your therapist, by the way, if you're listening.
Totally.
Hey, if you would see that therapist and let me record the sessions,
I promise I will never, not only will I never use that word again,
but I will erase my whole audio library with any songs that use that word.
But I need to record like five sessions and play them on my podcast.
Have you heard that?
That would be amazing.
Have you seen Stutz on Netflix?
What's it called?
Stutz, S-T-U-T-Z. It's a movie that Jonah Hill made
of him recording his sessions with...
Oh, I heard about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I heard about it.
Incredible movie.
It is incredible?
So good.
Okay, I'll watch it.
I don't like Jonah Hill,
but I'll watch it.
Okay.
I think you might like him a little more
when you watch that.
Wow.
Wow.
No way.
Wow.
No way.
Wow.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I'm going to tell you
what's going on there with that though.
I want to tell you what's going on there with that though I wanna tell you what's going on with that
God that thing looks painful
That
That's
That's erect but he's kinda pushing it down
To make it look limp
I don't know man
That's not limp
Hey that's one of those dicks
That's so big that like the weight of it makes it hard for it
to stand up that's when you taped your leg when you're running i'm telling you that is not that
is i need more fixtures hey should i should i save this to my phone i'm so tempted to hit i did i
saved it i got it. Hey, that guy
has the toilet seat up. First of all,
not cool in the background.
And he's got a little travel
Colgate.
Colgate.
Hey.
What should I write back to
Audrey? Thank you.
Thank you.
Is that her dude?
Is that your dude?
I don't know.
She said you're very welcome.
Yeah, you better spit on that thing before you push that thing in. It's a fucking stallion.
Oh, it's her ex from college.
Wow.
It's quite the ex.
Is it a recent picture, though?
That'll rearrange some guts.
Fuck, that's crazy.
Oh shit, this is hilarious.
This news article someone just sent us.
Oh my god.
Racial slur during Valley Field midget a game leads to suspension.
So it's funny.
A racial slur directed at a black minor league hockey player that spurred a
minor brawl has resulted in a multi-game suspension for one teenager and
police promised to arrest a coach for assault.
But what's the irony is,
is that it's called the midget league,
right?
No way.
So the league's called the midget league,
which is a slur.
And then someone in there used this slur.
Wow.
What a mess.
See,
it's never ending guys.
The fucking,
this is all just fucking,
political correctness is just all people control.
That's incredible.
Hey, and don't get me wrong
you playing a hockey game
and you fucking yell a racial slur
at someone that dude should come over
and fucking punch you in the face and knock you the fuck
out I'm not saying that like
I'm not saying that
you can't be offended
and I'm not saying
that you can't choose to be offended and I'm not saying
you can't take action on it there's a distinction between reality
and then what you're choosing to do
someone cuts you off, that's your intention
you chose to be there, you got in your car in the morning
you woke up, you chose to be there
then you can decide, did that person cut me off
were they asleep at the wheel, do they hate me
you can spin the narrative any way you want
but you're in the heat of the moment and you yell some racial slurs some black guy when you're on the fucking
hockey field yeah he'd come over and knock you the fuck out and i'm giving him a fucking pass on it
like you knew what you were doing
you knew exactly what you were doing
but when i'm fucking telling the the the the white-looking guy, Mike Wittius, with his white supremacist haircut, like, hey, dude, you shouldn't talk about using fucking words inappropriately when your fucking Instagram is littered with racial slurs.
You can't flip the script and think you're going to win.
It doesn't – that's like – I mean, unless we're just in a complete world of delusional ding-dongs.
Close.
Thank you for everyone, by the way, who's sending me all the screenshots.
I might not have time to get to all of them, but I appreciate it.
They're pouring in.
Oh, shit, he's playing the victim again this is crazy he made a post it says thanks hillar for
comparing my dwarfism to a dog uh he didn't uh compare it to a dog yeah so this guy's broken oi alright
love you guys I'll see you tomorrow
the drama will continue go over to
HillerFit support that video
I'm playing it all day
on two browsers Chrome and Safari
over and over and over
make a comment get the algorithm
up high
and
peace and love have a great day have a good day studying caleb thanks you too
why do you hate my dog
jesus bye y'all later guys love you sugar yeah sugar sugar sounds racist