The Sevan Podcast - Live Call In | Navy SEAL REJECTS Danielle Brandon

Episode Date: April 14, 2024

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Bam, we're live. Fergie, what's up, dude? Morning, Sabanistas. Good morning, good morning.

Good morning, Sabanistas. Kenneth DeLapp, my current shoes constantly have to retie them. Is that the shoelaces you think? There was a pair of Nanos that came Is that the shoelaces you think? There was a pair of nanos that came out where the shoelaces were round. You had to constantly retie them. It was fucking ridiculous. Ruined the shoes.

I guess all you had to do was change the shoelaces. New Savage Ones are out. To those that have them, any issues with shoelaces coming undone during the workouts oh no I haven't had that issue really maybe I have a pair here I can look at no I don't no I haven't had that issue I double knot I'm a double knot guy I double knot

I got these socks from I got these socks from... I got these socks from Toe Spacers. It's always nice to keep a pair of socks in the podcast room just in case it gets cold. Oh, you don't have the Savage ones. Oh. The new colors are out. the new colors are out I think there will be a discount code on Thursday

for the entire site again Thursday's Taylor Self vs. The World Down Pepper, Colton Mertens Jason Hopper oh they got these little sticky things on the bottom why are um someone wrote double knots are gay is that why whenever i tie my shoes i just thrive i just crave for a cock in my mouth i was wondering what was going on uh matt burn savages are great, uh,

but a little stiffer compared to the strike movements. I wouldn't run long in the savages. I thought, dude, if you think I haven't worn the strike movement, but the savage ones are some of the least stiff shoes I've ever worn in my life. My God,

they, um, the, the bottom. I mean, you can feel everything under your foot. You step on a pebble and you feel it. I prefer stiff.

There's a great joke there. I was, uh, I was at dinner last night. God, poor Haley. I was at dinner last night with a bunch of friends. There was a guy at the table that didn't believe that the Hunter Biden laptop was real that was fucking weird it was like first of all we all know it's real he knows it's real

no one's denying it but let's say for some reason it's not real what if I told you there was a box with a nuclear bomb in it? Under a building somewhere. And we get there and all we see is the nuclear bomb. And you're like, there was no box. There was no box. There was no box.

It's like, dude. I mean, who? First of all, no one's denying it's real. Not Joe Biden, not Hunter Biden, nobody. Everyone's like, okay, it's real. But even let's say for some reason it wasn't real. All the contents in it were real. All the contents in it were real.

Anyway, that's another story i it's bizarre to me that someone could man we just live with fucking idiots he went on to tell us uh this guy that uh biden biden isn't corrupt it was fucking mind-boggling but anyway so someone at the dinner table told a story and i think that i think the story was they were talking about uh like a a swarm of bees that that they saved i can't remember what the exact thing was but there was a it was a pretty it was like a harrowing story. It was about a woman who saved a hive of bees and she did it without one of those bee suits, right? And somehow the hive was threatened. It had swarmed. The hive had broken in half and one half had gone one way and the other half, I guess, stays in the hive.

half i guess stays in the hive and uh barclay hi i don't know who schrodinger is is that some sort of like uh schrodinger's cat is that that's some sort of like uh psychological profile i like it whatever it is i like it so so there was this there was this uh there was this hive of bees and they i guess at some point a hive gets too many bees, or for some reason they get tired of fucking that same bitch, and they break in half. And like half of them leave. I don't know if the half leave with the current queen, or if they leave and make a new queen. It details shmeetails. Hold on, what's this unless the audio or savvy why do you think the entire sevan and co-crew invited in every podcast these days savvy why do you think the entire sevan and company crew invited in every podcast these days have they all finally woken up

invited in every podcast these days have they all finally woken up it's early in the morning i don't understand that i'm sorry i'm barely awake oh are getting invited someone why do you why do you think the entire seven and crew are are getting invited god damn it are getting invited uh every day into these i don't know you can't do it thank you though mary for trying to uh unfuck me i'm unfuckable this morning uh okay dusty with the bees they they split every year the hive splits every year they will leave the current queen and a new queen behind they will leave with the current queen and leave a new queen behind okay they got a special jelly so this lady's telling this harrowing story about using her that her bare hands to extract a queen and like move the hive and just the whole thing so the story's over pretty it was a pretty good story i'd give it

like a a seven i mean it's definitely dinner worthy and then my wife my wife hayley embarks in a story with i was in the kitchen the other day and there was a bee on the counter and it looked like it was barely alive i'm like oh no i said i had to stop her i'm like yo is there only one bee in this story she's like yeah i'm like oh no i said i had to stop her i'm like yo is there only one b in this story she's like yeah i'm like dude this is like right at the dinner table she's like what i'm like you can't we just heard a fucking whole story about a lady who with her bare hands extracted a queen out of a fucking active hive. You got a story with one bee that's barely alive on the kitchen counter.

She's like, yeah. And there was a couple of guys at the table, especially the guy who, um, the guy who didn't think the Hunter Biden laptop was real. He goes, Hey man, let her finish.

Let her finish. I let her finish. This story got one fucking bee. That's barely alive in it. You can't follow up a beehive story with that bee. But my wife goes on. She said, so it's barely alive, and I didn't kill it. I'm like, oh, fuck, here we go.

She says, this is not, this is not, this is not, we're at dinner. The bill at this dinner is going to be $500. The stories better be fucking good. She then says that she got a paper plate and got the bee onto the paper plate and took the bee outside. And she's like, you know, I thought maybe it wasn't dead, but I didn't kill it. Or I thought maybe it was about to die. It wasn't alive, but so good. Like like like it was on his deathbed. She was talking about how it looked like it was on its deathbed, but she didn't kill it anyway, you know, like with a paper towel or something. So she scooped it up with paper plate and she took it outside. please God, tell me like an alligator walked up and bit you. Like, please let this story have like some fucking amazing part coming up.

Please tell me someone naked ran through the yard. And she goes, and then the bee flew off the plate. Oh, fuck. I told her right there. I said, listen, if someone saved a beehive and a queen bee you don't your next story has to be followed up with uh there was an injured bald eagle in my yard and i captured it and saved it and i took it to the local museum. And they healed its wing. You know.

Fucking saved one bee. No I wasn't embarrassed. Just expect more from her. God damn it. A single bee story. Followed up after a hive save story. But the guy. I mean. This is going to be no surprise to you.

The guy who doesn't believe the Hunter Biden laptop is real, he loved the story. He loved the story. Yeah, listen, saving a bald eagle is a good story. One bee, not so much. Definitely you can't hold the whole dinner table hostage with that story fucking A

uh Mary Monsoor that was so good you should rename the show after it I saved the B Jonathan Ortega I let the B go a naked guy ran by and the b stung him in the dick dude amazing dude amazing uh roy uh roy aaron uh someone surrounding himself with betas i don't know I don't know if

that's true but there was one yesterday it was it was weird oh god thank God I was just wondering how I was gonna carry this show for a fucking 90 minutes hey good morning good morning oh shit you're not at the Shattuck in unless you just got tired of it went went to a hotel. Yeah, that's what happened. I got so sick of it. I couldn't stand looking at it, honestly. Just with all the shit that I needed to do.

So finally I just left. Went to a hotel. Greg just told me, Greg gave me a dope flashlight yesterday and he and he just texted me saying i left my flashlight at his house the one he gave me what kind of what kind of flashlight was it i forget but it's like hey five thousand lumens kind of thing yeah yeah insane he showed me he he he had it himself and he lit up a tree from like 150 yards away, like blinded.

He said that if you left this flashlight on in your backpack, it would start a fire. Whoa. So, of course, he had to get one for me. I'm coming to get it. Um, uh, we have Jits. We have Jits, and then we are going to watch Dave's daughter run the track. Want to come? Run the track, huh?

Yeah, Dave's daughter has a track meet today. That's cool. Yeah, and it's near my house. I want my boys to see her run. Hell yeah. Yeah. She's like a distance runner she runs the mile she runs the 800 in the mile and the last three meets she's been to she's won

whoa and she's a freshman the mile is crazy too yeah i had some friends that ran the mile and every time they finished they would just they find the nearest trash can and start violently vomiting six months ago she was running a mile in seven minutes, and now her last track meet, she ran 545. Every time she runs it, she sets a PR. What? Yeah, crazy. 14 years old. Oh, my God.

She's going to be a sub-five-minute miler soon. And Dave told me that there's a chick she's running against today that has a sub-five-minute mile. She's the fastest girl in the region. Oh, oh wow so that'll be cool for her to see yeah totally i'm pumped good competition oh where are you why are you i'm in i'm in texas right now um hold on don't tell me where you live you live in nebraska correct that's where the shattuckin is yep and your chick your chick's there too yep she's still there and your cat's there cat's there and your mom and dad and mom and dad okay um and the two acres that the Shattuckin sits on. Is the Shattuckin just the house or is it the whole place?

I would just say the house itself because the property is nice. That land is nice. Oh, so Shattuckin's a bit derogatory. A little bit, yeah. Oh, shit can. It's a shit can. oh shit can it's a shit can yeah you could that's kind of where it came from my dad we were talking about how the ceilings were like very like holy looking like they're really tall and beautiful and it's obviously not marble or anything like italian or roman or vatican-esque but uh we just we it's kind of like a vatican in a way like it's a nice whatever i don't know this is what my dad said so then we he's like oh it's actually the shattuckin so we just kind of it's like a shitty vatican so now we just ran with does he normally

come up with cool shit like that yeah yeah he does like randomly he'll just like a song will pop into his head and he'll like re-engineer it into something that's happening at the moment and he'll like make it something else like i don't know he's always been very good at thinking up of things on the spot and just yeah creating creating words funny words yeah exactly uh mary monsoor i cried in the vatican damn i would love to go to the vatican just to see it just my mom went one time to see the red shoes do you know about the red shoes is the vatican where the pope is that's that place yeah yeah the the red shoes are what they wear there oh tell me the story about your mom before i fucking ruin the vatican for you oh no she uh my mom so we used to live over there in germany and she took all of her

like sisters and uh their kids to the vatican but didn't take us oh so i'm still kind of bitter about it but you know yeah hey that i think that's like the typical – every family has that story. Yeah, we got to go on a cool trip and we – Yeah, there's the rich uncle-in-law. So there will be like a guy who's rich and he marries a woman, and they always bring his extended family on the cool trips but not the wife's family. Yeah, that's basically what happened so the wife's family's all fucking bitter and shit but and they're like yeah but she sucks the rich dude's dick why can't she bring some family exactly um so the red shoes of the vatican supposedly there's guys there who wear red shoes and the red shoes signify or were made out of the baby's skin of the baby that was life that was sacrificed that you drank

the blood from what yeah there's all sorts of dark stories about the vatican who knows if they're true who knows if who knows if p diddy's true who knows p diddy's true where was i was oh god damn it i was in the middle of a good story and i got distracted by the was it was it about the bees no I'm over the bees that that story was really just about my wife oh someone said I surround myself with betas listen fine I do I'm like a I'm like a Jesus figure to betas I'm like a stepping stone before you become an alpha. I am the way. I am the only way. Is that what Jesus said?

I'm the only way to become. The way, the truth, and the light or something? Yeah, I'm the way, the truth, and the light. I'm the only way to becoming to alpha male. Sit at my feet. I compared myself to Jesus the other day and one of my classmates was like, that blasphemous that's like okay you can't even compare yourself like what if you wore the same shoes he has you can't even shit i guess not i don't know what if i liked his shoes yeah look at my hair and i'm my hair is like jesus's but thicker

now sebon is the bridge yes you, you could, you, you. My penis is the plank. Walk to me. You are a lily pad. Probably more accurate. A lily pad? Like, you know, just like something feminine, like to cross on, like they step on you. Oh, dang, okay.

I picture betas on one side of a stream, and then there's me as this, you know, semi-androgynous lily pad, and they step on me from dang okay i pictured betas on one side of a stream and then there's me as this you know semi-androgynous lily pad and they step on me to get over to it wasn't a pretty picture i took i took it as an insult i played the victim i was um i was watching j O'Keefe's channel Oh I should send you the notes God I'm glad you're here Oh what are you Okay while I get organized What

Why are you in Texas Are you getting Like are you picking out some rare Texas lumber For the Shattuckin To rebuild the Shattuckin No I wish No I I've got some

I just got put on orders for a little while so i'm just coming down here and going to us going to school uh for about a month and then be done tell us the truth are you at the border i'm pushing uh illegal aliens back across have you been called for that are you protecting the country no i'm not doing anything like that. Are you close to the border? Very far from that. No, I'm basically on the border of Oklahoma and Texas, so I'm way north. If you were capturing illegals or pushing illegals back or doing something with illegals, would you tell us? Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I'm not. for sure yeah so you're just so you're just kicking it at home and um you you're doing crossfit and you're diddling in your little podcast hobby thing and making up words with your dad as you pretend to work on the house as your wife saves people's lives right and you get this call from the u.s government saying how does that work you get a letter or a phone call being like hey you got to go back i mean you quit you already you stick you out you quit the military right you did your time yeah well technically so i'm still in the guard so i still have like some time left that i have that i owe them because i initially signed for longer than i stayed so i just have to make up some time with them.

And then they just have opportunities to do, to go to schools or go to different, do things if you want to. So if you just kind of put your name in the hat and you're like, Hey, if anything comes up, I'm down to do it. So you,

Oh, so you volunteered for this. You could have, you didn't have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No,

I didn't have to, but there's a, yeah, there's just opportunities to go do things, and they just asked if I wanted to, and I said, sure, why not? You don't get very many opportunities like this. And how long is it? Just a month.

And that's why we haven't seen you Monday through Friday? Correct. You can't come home in the morning? Negative. Why can't you? Listen, people, I'm doing this for you. I'm going to be mean to Caleb for you. I don't want to be mean to him.

I don't want to pressure him and put him on the spot. But for you guys, because I know you guys love Caleb, why can't you come on 7 a.m. Pacific Standard Time to 8.30 Pacific Standard Time and then go do National Guard shit? I could. standard time and then um go um do national guard shit i will i could i would if uh but they allowed us to have any electronics at all oh no shit yeah so we have we have to go and like i can't have my phone or anything so i'm basically just like i come back from class and i get in my my hotel room i look at my phone and i have 400 text messages uh from various group chats and just i have to sift through them for the next five hours before i go to bed hey what are you teaching someone are you getting continued education yourself

or you're the teacher i'm getting educated oh oh oh that well that's kind of cool yeah that's nice it's uh it's all new stuff for me so i like it is it is it in your domain like nursing stuff medical stuff no are there guns currently no uh caller hi hey how's it going i'm fucking amazing i'm so excited today's gonna be wild listen i came on the show just like yeah god really today um and then and then caleb's here and then uh my coffee my paper street coffee's good and then i got to i got to work out some of my demons with my wife about her storytelling at dinner i just it's it's onward and upward i got new socks from uh toe spacers fucking the day started as probably like a 9.2 and it's like quickly gone over a 10 and i've only been awake for 83 minutes how's your incredible How's your day?

How's your day? Good, good. It's actually my birthday, and I made a double coffee, and it's hitting triple strength. Happy birthday. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday, dude. Thank you. Thanks, guys.

Are you married? Yes. Will you get something special on your birthday, like a standee or she'll be on top where you can drink whiskey? Will you get something special on your birthday? Like, um, like a standee or like she'll be on top where you can drink whiskey. Will you get something like special? Uh, yeah. As a matter of fact, I mean, if you guys want,

isn't that kind of cool? Why is there so cool? My wife always surprises me on my birthday. It's so cool. No, I'm actually, yeah, I actually am always amazed by my wife's selflessness when it comes to that.

Yeah. Yeah. For real. I mean, if I'm being honest, yeah. Yeah. Just tending to the shaft on your birthday. Hell yeah. Good shit.

Yes. Yeah. My wife's like, I got a standee on my birthday. I'm like, fuck, how did she know? She's like, well, you talk about it every day on the show. I'm like, well, shit. I'm going to talk about it. Anything I talk about on the show, my wife will then, you know, on my birthday, it becomes a reality.

Incredible. But I'm going to have to figure out how to make a podcast. Yeah. Well, listen, I wanted to get something off my back that's been on my, weighing on me for a while. You can put it on your wife's back later. Actually, I did last night, and we were discussing. I'm like, hey, I'll take that as a birthday present.

You know, you don't got to do that twice. Damn. Wow. But she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. So maybe I will. So there was a, what's that called? A dress rehearsal last night. Yeah, I guess you could say that.

That's awesome. It was a rehearsal there. That's awesome. But no, it was when Frazier made a video with that Will Tennyson guy. And he spent a day with him. And the whole premise of the video was just to spend a day with Frazier. The premise of the video was- I'm sorry, will you hold on?

Do you have a few minutes? Yeah. Okay, hold on one second. I want to address a comment here real quick. That's kind of sad. I get BJs at least three to four times a week. No one's talking about BJs, but BJs are gross. I would never want anyone's disgusting tongue

touching my beautiful penis. That is gross. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. That's a whole other thing, but good for that guy. I'm happy for him. I didn't know this was a contest. Hey, it's like I tell you guys my kids are taking swim lessons and 20 people in my DMs are like, hey, dude, you should get your kids into swimming. It's like, you fuck nut. I just

fucking told you a story four days in a row about my kids in swimming fucking idiots okay go ahead yeah so anyways the the premise of the video was for this big youtuber to spend a day with the the biggest crossfitter yeah and go through a day of his training the premise of the video was not to have frazier coach him. And it really bugged me when Hiller made this video about how bad of a coach Hiller was, or I mean, Frazier was because Frazier wasn't trying to teach him really anything. He was just trying to put him through a day of training.

And yes, he had to teach him a few things as fast as he could just so the guy could get through the day. But I don't think Frazier's goal was to coach him him in any way really um and i don't know that just that always pissed me off that i felt like hillar was taking a cheap shot at him um when really frazier wasn't yeah how about this let me throw this on the fire too let's fuck ass pound hillar for a second my giant primal can dong and i love hillar by the way i Hiller, by the way. I love Hiller, by the way. Me too.

I'm going to be gentle with my Pringle Can. Here's the thing, too. I guess, I don't know Will Tennyson, but I guess his body of work is to go places and make fun of himself. So he's this big, beautiful guy who's really muscly and looked up to and has this huge following. So the whole thing was supposed to kind of be a spoof. It was supposed to be just like, hey, let me humble myself in front of Fraser. So put me through some things where I look like a jackass. And instead – but we all know that Hiller could enter the neuro –

what's that called, that division that they adapted? Neuro-adaptive. Yes, yes. Hiller has a tism. So really we should all feel sorry for Hiller and embrace Hiller because he – or we should think we're retarded for taking every word seriously that a guy with autism is preaching to us. We're being led by a guy who has a little bit of Asperger's or some shit. And so Hiller has this tism, and he shares it. Yeah, and how about all the people who jump in there? I'm always surprised at all the people who jump in the comments with all the fucking

hate, because it's kind of like, once again, like, what are you doing? Yeah, I don't know. I think they're just, that's, that's therapy for them, but maybe you're right. Maybe I need to neuro adapt to Hiller at times. Yeah. Yeah. He's a, he's an adaptive. There's adaptive athletes. he's an adaptive there's

adaptive athletes he's an adaptive youtuber he's like he's like at the at the peak of adaptive youtubers he should be the poster child he could enter the special olympics here's something else too um frazier should just lean into it and just be like hey andrew why don't you come here and i'll fucking teach you something you little hoe oh shit that would be would that ever happen i don't i don't know i can't i think matt takes himself very seriously unfortunately and maybe matt has a tism too i don't know but matt just needs to just be like lean into it i mean it would disarm Hiller so much. Hiller's such a good dude. Anytime someone pushes back, he doesn't...

He handles it well. Matt should just be like, yo, fuck not. Great, I'm the five times champ and I can't coach well. Okay, good job, dude. Nice work. You know what I mean?

Yes, I would actually respect that It's kind of like the Dana White thing You talk about But also maybe Fraser doesn't even care Maybe this stuff doesn't even make it on Fraser's radar Do you know what I mean I don't know if it does or if it doesn't That's a lie

But let's pretend like it's not I don't know if this stuff makes it on Fraser's radar or not But if it did and it was bothering him just lean into it just be like yo come up to here and i'll fucking shit put you i'll put you through the same fucking workout douche canoe see that isn't that what isn't that what asia wpo needs to like just have some a little bit of fun around their brand or something yes you know what i mean yes they should start a seminar for stand-up routines for CrossFitters. And Matt could be their first client. Yeah, they need some fun.

Yeah, I would need a free trial on that. I don't know if I'd pay initially. That doesn't jump off the page to me. It's something entertaining. But hey, dude, he didn't become the five he didn't become the five-time champ without being serious as a heart attack so there might be a real steep learning curve for fraser to become um more malleable yeah that's probably true someone wrote get rid of o'keeeefe. No, I think O'Keefe's the saving grace, dude.

O'Keefe's nice as fuck. Really? I kind of feel like O'Keefe is super PC. I see how you might think that, but he's an agent. He's trying to get along with everyone. The way I take it is he's not putting himself first, and so he's just he's he's an agent he's trying to get along with everyone he's he's the way i take it is he's not putting himself first and so he's just kind of listening you know what i mean so if you were like um remember remember he spoke out against the grinder bitch the chick who got

busted for uh weed in russia and was like no i didn't know i didn't know yeah so when that bitch got traded for like the world's gnarliest killer, we traded some guy who kills grandmothers who we had hostage here, some Russian spy. Most notorious arms dealer. Yeah, something like that. Most notorious arms dealer in the world. O'Keefe spoke out against that. He's like, what the fuck? is like i think he's i think he's um he's not going to he he's he's trying to make it so that um uh hwpo can swim in all waters it's you know what i mean and and i and i and i don't he's not speaking he's not speaking on black for his athletes yeah and and yeah exactly and he stays i think he stays friendly with everyone and i think that that's the agent's job like if someone calls and is like fuck if someone on the internet posts like fuck you matt's a fucking asshole he doesn't know how

to coach for shit okie's job is to call the guy and be like hey dude you know let's have let's facetime and talk this out and why you think that right Right. I guess I just wish I don't see him as a tool. I don't see O'Keefe as a tool at all. Like, like I don't see him as like, um, I don't see him as fake. No,

but I see a lot of times. And I guess what you're saying would make sense. But when he'll, when he answers his questions, he's very crafty about it. Whereas, you know, which is,

which is by nature, not really genuine. I mean, it's, you know what is which is by nature not really genuine i mean it's you know i mean almost like a politician now he's obviously his his motivations for that are more noble than a politician but i would just like to see him one time be like hey i'm just going to speak my own personal opinions and uh they don't reflect the opinions of my athletes and here we go and then just let hear him spill it all you know what i mean yeah that would but i've taken up enough time of your show i'm sure the callers want me to get or the listeners want me to get off so have a great day hey what time what time do you think what what what what time do you think um your birthday present will happen

um apparently like a minute early afternoon oh and what time is that afternoon okay isn't that weird to think what i was thinking you think someone's ejaculating 24 hours a day somewhere on the planet there's that involuntary somewhere there's always a penis like firing oh i would say thousands at any given moment. Yeah, that's amazing, isn't it? Just this road as the earth spins. Imagine a graphic just showing penises firing the baby batter just as it rotates. And just, oh, God, it would be amazing. Can you imagine, yeah, like a red dot just lighting up wherever a penis is coming?

Yeah. Just seeing a map of that. Yeah. Jesus, it would look like a Christmas up wherever a penis is coming. Yeah. Just seeing a map of that. Yeah. Jesus. It would look like a Christmas tree, a Christmas light show. You see one in the middle of the ocean and it's actually a whale. What do you think that the... What do you...

No, humans, Caleb, only. Oh, sorry. Caleb is on point today. Caleb's very inclusive. Caleb's doing his best effort to be O'Keefe. He's just being very inclusive. What do you think the ratio is? Let's go back 100 years compared to people ejaculating alone to ejaculating with someone else in the room.

I bet you 100 years ago, it's like, I don't know. I'm going to guess 6%. Let's say two hundred years ago yeah i'm gonna say six percent of the ejaculations were solo ejaculations maybe less than six percent well i would say six percent of what they are now but i still think people were whacking it at least more than six percent of the time um but i think now don't you the amount of masturbation i was off that charts do you and i might be projecting right right listen listen listen do you see

something every day that makes you chub up involuntarily that's like it's like not even in your um you weren't even planning to chub up and yeah i'm gonna cut you off right there yes yeah isn't it crazy like that didn't happen 200 years ago oh well i mean people were you know look at how pilgrims dressed you're you're just on i mean jesus you're just let's say like let's say someone's like hey um what's the weather today and you look at your phone and you open it up to go to the weather app and instagram's open and all you just happen to see something and your penis reacts to it just instantaneously. You feel some movement in your pants like that shit wasn't hat tits. That shit wasn't happening 200 years ago.

Yeah, no, actually, this is a whole nother thing, but people are saying like nowadays humans brains are super over sexualized. Yeah, because of stuff like that or like pop up ads on like, yeah, you'll be on something so generic. You'll be on like you'll be on something so generic you'll be on like you'll be on like the mayo clinic or whatever and there'll be a pop-up with some chick with like you say eight inches of cleavage yeah yeah like daniel brandon's mom daniel brandon's mom like i was just trying to watch the daniel brandon documentary and all of a sudden i'm attracted to her mom i'm like what the fuck is going on here there's this one your intentions repair yeah there's this one chick on instagram she'll

pop up and she just has like this very like beautiful face and as soon as i see it i'm like yep chub chub yeah chub people don't understand god damn it and you're like i don't want to chub and she doesn't even talk about anything sexual it's all like politics and shit i'm just like damn i'll listen to anything you say someone hey and they have a girl they have a brawless girl with big tits who's 20 pounds overweight who's an expert on every subject now like on chopping wood on golfing like fishing like anywhere you go there's an expert with brawless giant tits on the subject Chana Breslin Like who Chana Breslin

Is that her name Oh Yeah that girl's ridiculous Hey Do you ever think about Yeah that's her I don't even Go to accounts like that I don't even go to accounts like that.

I don't even go to accounts like this. If I see this, I swipe as fast as I can away from that shit. Like, I want to be accidentally chubbed. Like, if you're there, I mean. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, I was just going to say, do you ever. Go ahead Yeah I was just gonna say

You know what I think is a little sexist too Is that it's frowned upon That us dudes like If a girl will walk by and glance at her ass real quick We can't help that I don't think anyone else I don't think anyone without a penis realizes What it's like to be this horny

Well what you're doing is You can help it but you're fighting against your biology the whole fucking time. You don't even want to do anything to it. You just want to see it. And, and then I would say you just have to see it. Yeah. Okay.

You just have to see it. You have to see it. That's what it feels like. At least. Yeah. Yeah. I'm done. I'm done fighting my biology.

So it's like, if you're going to eat, if you're going to eat paleo, then you got to also look at acids. Otherwise, it would be contradictory. Yeah, but I don't think you need to look at the ass and then start indulging it. You don't have to be like – you know like someone's delivering food to the table next to you and you look at it i don't start imagining myself eating it right like i don't i don't look at an ass and all of a sudden just imagine myself fucking balls deep buried in the girl i just look at it and then move on sometimes i just want to stare at my wife yeah is it yeah well i think you can indulge in your life i know but i just but i'm just saying and sometimes i just want to look at it yeah like i just want to observe her butt yeah excuse me can you do a thousand squats

what for i just wanted to watch i just want to see your butt move yeah yeah yeah and sometimes it'll be a female that 100 you know i wouldn't necessarily be uh be into but still my eyes will dart down to the booty yeah i think that's i think that's normal they have to they have to i want to beat someone i want to kick someone's ass here in the comments who is where is it it's that dude turntable. The fuck is his comment? He had a fucking comment. That guy fucking, I did this great bit on Danielle Brandon. I don't know if you heard it, caller, but I did this bit where basically I posted this video or someone posted a video that we shot when we did the behind the scenes

and we posted it on our Instagram account. It's her doing kettlebell swings. She looks like a fucking 20 out of 10 and um and we asked her to collab on it and she didn't respond and then and then some company asked if they could purchase it and then we told them yes and we told them how much and they didn't respond and then um and then next thing we know it's on her instagram account so i did a whole bit about how she stole it but it's obviously just a fucking joke, right? And I cut the clip and someone in the comments wrote, you can still

take this down. It's like, how about fuck you? What are you? Are you autistic? Take it down for what? Turntable wrote that. You can still take this down. How about fuck you? What the fuck? down how about fuck you what the fuck there there's an epidemic of lack of social awareness yeah god damn it daniel you stole this from me

yeah she did for sure so so what are you watching can you see the screen caller uh no i exited the video just to not fuck up the audio or something. Yeah, I mean, you can see, like, she's swinging kettlebells, and you can just take your time and just cruise and check out everything. Her calves, her feet. Yeah, I know exactly what video you're talking about. Her butt, her stomach. Oh, you know what?

I meant to tell you guys this, and I don't mean to put her on blast, but my best buddy is in the teams And he matched He matched Danielle No he matched with her On Hinge What He's not a big

It's like a classy version of Tinder Oh please That's amazing No no no I am yeah i mean that's serious he's not really a big crossfitter and he was just like he's like hey does this girl do crossfit and he showed me her i was like holy shit that is danielle brandon so he liked her and then she liked him no she liked him yeah and then he must have accepted it yeah yeah what is it something hinge the female has to like like the dude like the female has to initiate conversation with the dude

so what happens next okay that's progressing what happens here's the tragic part here's the tragic part she's like definitely not his type and so he didn't even pursue it this was like like a year wait she's not his type correct yeah i need to be disappointed but yeah wait a second so listen listen don't the don't seals go after fucking crazy listen listen uh i might not be the kind of guy to drive a tank and i might but if the opportunity comes to get in a tank and fire the turret i'm getting in and doing it. Damn right. And is he okay?

Yeah, man. He does great for himself. He's just more of a, like, you know, piano lessons, uh, church on Sunday kind of guy. Dude. Oh man. What, what is, what is a, what is a good soul, but a teacher for a soul that's rough around the edges? Hey, dude, he just hates himself or he's gay. Listen.

Most of you guys are. Oh, my God. I know. Listen. I know. How dare you? We were urging. Hey, Hiller plays the piano great.

Probably a lot of people don't know that. He's a great pianist. Amazing pianist. I think that's probably a common quality amongst his uh neuro adaptive category yeah probably true but listen he he um your your friend sounds racist i don't know go with it just go with it be like yeah please from now on he's racist because of that. I mean, why would I can't think of any other reasons why.

Does he think it's bad for climate, the climate if he dates Danielle? Maybe that's why he's a climate change guy. He doesn't want to have to do a long distance relationship. I don't know. We were at the bar and we were just we were on the subject for an hour and a half. Like, you have to do this for all of us. You know, he's that guy who's always been able to do the things that we just can't. We're like, dude, it's not even about you.

Yeah. Come on. Dude, you're a seal. Read scripture to her. What do you think her reaction would be to that? She'd be happy. Listen, she gets hit on by the same fucking retards all the time. She needs a new kind of dude. That all the time she needs a new that's

true she needs a new kind of dude hey man oh man imagine imagine being a christian dude and marrying a non-christian and then fucking showing her the way and she wakes up to the fucking glory of god that would be so much better than just fucking marrying like something that was just straight much better than just fucking marrying like something that was just straight off the shelf already fucking pre-made pre-made christian man that is actually so true hey can you get a screenshot of that did he take a screenshot of that match? Maybe.

And I kind of feel bad because I don't even know if people know that she was on there. So now I'm comfortable. Oh, she don't give a flying fuck. That's what's so cool about her. Okay, all right. Hey, for all we know, she just goes through and does match for every dude on there just to fuck with them. If you're on a dating app, dude. You know what I mean? Hey, that would be great if she would come on here

and just be like, yeah, I only pick the ugly dudes. Just to fuck with them. No, I assure you, this guy is a thoroughbred. Nobody was reaching on that match. That was an equal match. This guy's a beast. All right. Hey, you know what? Nobody was reaching on that match. That was an equal match. Man. This guy's a beast. Yeah.

All right. Hey, you know what? I'm guessing your buddy's into anorexic chicks. That's my final. I do think the amount of muscle fibers had a little bit to do with it, which, again, disappointed, but I'm just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Imagine. Yeah. Imagine, imagine licking the sweat out of that. Like those, those crevices, those striations in her tricep where tricep and bicep meet. We did not mention that when we were trying to sell it. That might have been, that might've been what sealed the deal. They just forgot about the striation. Her muscles are so deep. There's like puddles of swimming pools for bees. little puddles where that bees can come and drink the nectar

that's quite a visual yeah when she when she when she when she uh lays on her back uh her her stomach muscles the little pools of sweat that come there is a feeding area for mosquitoes now let's go with bees bees honeybees what the fuck well there you go you asked if i get a little penis movement every day and there you go i thank you yeah it sure did maybe we should nickname her the queen of bees queen bee queen bee add it to the list alright alright you guys I'm gonna go work out I'm sorry listeners for interrupting the show

but have a great day you two later dude yeah turntable I thought that was a funny bit I did with Danielle I think that was I thought it was wonderful. I was able to show that I don't care if people steal from me. That was the, that was the, that was the point of the bit.

There's this house of representatives lady. I'm going to pull up her wiki page. Sheila Jackson. Oh, there she is. Let me see if I can find her on wiki. She's a Texas house of representatives chick. Oh, here we go.

Let me see sheila jackson uh sheila jackson was born january 12 1950 she's an american lawyer and politician who is the u.s representative for texas oh for the entire state of texas holy shit for texas's 18th congressional district she served since 1995 wow no shit so she's been in congress for she's been in congress for as long as i've been alive 29 years uh she was born in queens new york she graduated from yale university and the university of virginia law school wow yeah impressive right go her uh she's been a supporter of many progressive policies what what does that mean oh i'm gonna show you buddy progressive policies this is this is some crazy shit i'm about to show you uh uh kenneth de lapp terrible call really that was one of my

favorite oh that was a good one i'm in rare form today i'm in a weird i'm in i'm in a fun spot i can make anything fun today however as no can't dude ufc 300 holy jay yeah caleb are you gonna get to watch that honestly i might just buy it and watch it so i can yeah i'll probably watch it tonight and watch it so i can yeah i'll probably watch it tonight jackson lee announced her candidacy for the 2023 houston mayoral election in march of that year in the first round she placed second behind state senator john whitmer however as no candidate crossed the 50 threshold to win outright a runoff election occurred in december 9 2003 despite several key endorsements jackson lee lost the election on december 11th she filed to run for re-election for her congressional seat and would successfully win the democratic primary on march 5th 2024 so listen the people of texas

just elected this chick okay okay okay uh can you pull up the the instagram video i think i sent you it says sheila jackson okay you're not even to fucking believe what I'm about to show you. This is her take on the eclipse. Oh, no. Oh, no, dude. Here we go. Barkley is sick of the eclipse. Primetime knows at least one person who was very excited. Sheila Jackson Lee. Primetime knows at least one person who was very excited. Sheila Jackson Lee.

Yesterday, she went to a high school in Texas to teach kids about science and space. It didn't go well. You've heard the word full moon. Sometimes you need to take the opportunity just to come out and see a full moon is that complete rounded circle, which is made up mostly of gases. And that's why the question is, how could we as humans live on the moon? Are the gases such that we could do that? The sun is a mighty powerful heat that it's almost impossible to go near the sun.

The moon is more manageable. I don't know about you I want to be first in line To know how to live And to be able to survive On the moon That's another planet Which you're going to see shortly

Oh Holy fuck dude Holy fuck dude Holy shit dude This fucking chick was elected in march dude hello i didn't i didn't know it was almost impossible to no i'm okay no thank you very much i appreciate her language to her dude jesus christ sorry i'm still working on that gra gra much muchos gracias yeah just say graciano's name graciano

okay holy shit hey let's play a little bit more tell that bitch not to interrupt again i sent her away it's okay she'll come back tomorrow okay here we go sheila is spreading moon misinformation the moon is not a planet and it is not made up of gases. She should have known that. She graduated from Yale and was a ranking member on the Space and Aeronautics Subcommittee. These politicians are clueless. They worked in the real world. She would have been fired a long, long time ago and she is still trying to fix those glasses. Dude, that's crazy. She just spent the entire clip trying to fix those glasses charles bar dude that's crazy

she just spent the entire clip trying to put those fucking glasses on it's on a fucking real dude oh my god i i heard this lady say i heard this juror say or i read it i can't remember if i read it or saw it a juror from the ojk say that we all knew oj was guilty we did it to pay back for rodney king i'm just like where the fuck do we live are you talking about that cnn broadcast where the lady's like well you know i that was that was something else, too. That was wild, too. Yeah, that was a little different. But that was crazy, too. It's like, you know, it's a it's it just goes to stand that, you know, you can't just blame black people for killing white people. Listen, if anyone says they went to Yale or Harvard or Stanford, you should just think retard.

Now, it's too gentle. Imbecile. Yeah, that's good. Oh, my God. I thought she was just like, I thought she was in the House of Representatives

in Texas. She's like, she goes to D.C. That's big government right so bad i love that she tries to look up at the sun even when her glasses aren't on she's like oh oh okay yeah nope not ready yet oh my my God. It's impossible. We're just living. How about this? There's one up there that says Kamala Harris. Let's see this one. Oh, this guy was on the show. Tyler Fisher.

Yeah, Tyler Fisher. I can't believe he almost looks normal. He was so he he's really Hollywood it up. He's up this game. Look at him. It looks good. He was so, he's really Hollywooded up. He's upped his game. Look at him. Hey, it looks good. Yeah, here we go. Joe Biden's not doing good.

Not doing great, man. If he wins, Kamala Harris will be the president. Don't worry, I don't do an impression of Kamala Harris. Obviously, it's not okay for a white guy to do an impression of a retarded hyena. Whoa. There's the line. I'm not crossing the line whoa i know that joke was offensive to hyenas but i had to just that divided the room this is divided politically literally the whole right side i'm down here now forget you guys i. I'm coming down. Let's go.

Let's go. Build the wall. No, no. Finish the wall. Wow. That's good, right? Kamala got... What a mess that is. That's so fucking good oh i i i never liked that word privilege when people are like that person's privilege that person's privilege that's privileged like i i feel like that's just intellectually lazy like what exactly do you mean privilege is hunter biden privileged

because if he's privileged being privileged isn't a good thing. They act like it's like some sort of thing like, is Jay-Z privileged? Is P. Diddy privileged? What does that mean to be privileged? You're born with a mom and dad, and so you're privileged? But I finally realized what the privileged class is. It's right below short men. The privileged class is right below short men no that uh um uh no this is it thank you okay here we go watch this and look at seattle's migrant crisis yesterday the city told them they have no more dinero to pay for their free hotel rooms. They overstayed their welcome

and it was time to go. But the ungrateful guests, along with liberal activists, took over a high school tennis court. And when investigative journalist Jonathan Cho went there to check it out, they freaked out. They're essentially extorting the city. They're saying, look, if they don't get money, if they don't get resources, if they don't get motels, they're going to stay. They're going to protest. They're going to create, again, chaos. What an attitude of entitlement. Motels it sounded gangster right Yeah motel Like almost like he was saying hotels But because of his Affectation But he's a Chinese guy But if that had been a black guy

I'd have been like oh did he say hotels or motel Motels So so before we finish this The story here is is that these people Steal and do drugs And then as as taxpayers We would give them shelter They steal and do drugs, and then as taxpayers, we would give them shelter. They steal and do drugs.

That's their vocation is stealing, and their pastime is drugs. And so they haven't prioritized shelter, so we gave them shelter. And then when we stopped giving them shelter, they take over the kids' high school. That is privileged. That is the only privileged thing I've seen in my life. I mean, that is privileged that is that is the only that's the only privileged thing i've seen in my life i mean that is crazy privileged okay let's keep listening to mr waters two last month radical migrants activists bum rush to city council meeting demanding free housing six were arrested one suspect is being represented by a 70-year-old Seattle public defender,

Stephanie Muller, who says her client's innocent. She's really nice. She's really smart. She sounds like she's got the right idea about things. I really support what she's up to, and I think it's fabulous. How about that? She's accused of, what is it, criminal trespass? In the first degree.

That's the public defender. That's the public defender. That's the public defender. No. Hey, dude, I showed this to my mom and my mom ran from my cell phone. I'm like, hey, mom, have you seen Seattle's public defender? And I showed her and my mom like fled. So migrants get arrested. People get arrested for storming the blah, blah, blah, whatever, some city meeting, and this is their public defender.

Oh, my God. What is that? You're supposed to just stare at that. That's how that thing shows up to work, by the way. It's a clown. That thing had – yeah. I had a friend who was – i was a friend who was a um anesthesiologist and he said that there is a cup a boob size that they're called money makers it's like once you cross over a certain boob size like it's like a hundred percent

those women basically make money fucking jeff bezos' wife? And that's the size. Yeah, Bezos' wife. This, yeah. There's like a size. They're called money makers. And he says it's just like... So this guy has money makers. Wow. You think that's a side hustle?

Public defender, OnlyFans? Just... Oh my God. Look at the... Sleeky, is anyone's penis moving now? No, that's a good point. It's just... Oh my god. Look at the nipple on that thing. Is anyone's penis moving now? No, that's a good point. If you cut the head off, maybe.

Look at Caleb. Very open-minded. Jesus. I don't get this joke. How does a tranny person kill someone? They slash them. They slash them. They them. They slash them. He slash them.

She slash they. See them there. Do trannies use weird pronouns? I think they just want he. No, I think they... Or she. That's probably where it originated, right? She, her.

Hey, David, you would so fuck this thing like if I were to guess if anyone in the audience would fuck this thing it would be you come on dude be cool make yourself vulnerable give it a shot you never know you would so pound that thing the paper bag over its head

and if you wouldn't you should know that I that's my impression of you wow pound that thing. The paper bag over its head. And if you wouldn't, you should know that I, that's my impression of you. Wow. Aw. This is sad. I know, I know. Instagram doesn't let me put my pronouns as Chick-fil-A.

I tried some weird pronouns too. Yeah, only certain pronouns. I know, and doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of having pronouns? Right. Why put a limit on it? you should be able to put whatever you want crazy instagram let me put my business page as a waste management business they would or wouldn't they did like i just clicked it voice management company that's my instagram page oh that's cool you can be whatever you want a turntable just so you know savon i

heard your comments earlier well thank you for appreciate i appreciate that um i appreciate you letting me know that my rebuttal to your youtube comment was heard that's kind of you you could have just left me hanging i just don't have a response i i don't have oh i just i don't think you need just in there i think you can just i don't have a response your response is that you don't have a response i mean what was your implication that there was something wrong about it it was a comedy bit it was a bit it was just to be like yo this bitch schooled me it was just a bit uh you can still delete this yeah that that means like i did something wrong yeah it's supposed to be funny it's what it was just supposed to

be funny bit it's kind of my way of like according danielle i thought it was funny. No? I guess turntable doesn't think so. Maybe funny is too strong. Maybe I think too much of myself. Maybe it's just entertaining. So there's this guy, Jerome Powell. He heads the Federal Reserve.

He's head of the Federal Reserve, and the Federal Reserve has levers that affect our economy. I'm texting with Greg. who runs it is named jerome powell and so james o'keefe caught a guy who claims to work at the federal reserve even on his lincoln page he claims to be a principal economist that advises jerome powell at the federal reserve and james o'keefe caught him on tape it's basically saying the summation of it is is that hey jerome powell will do things to hurt trump so that he can't get re-elected or get elected over uh what's best for the economy and and what's best for the american people and his job is is to do to help you know to put the economy of the united states in first but he also prioritizes equity inclusion and climate change over what's best for the economy. Makes sense. And it's a it's a it's a fucking amazing grab.

I'll show you a tiny little bit of. Oh, here we go. Here it is. There's like three different videos on it. But you should go over. If you haven't seen this, you should watch James O'Keefe do this. It's pretty amazing. We'll watch like a minute of it here and give you guys a little taste. Here we go. Aurel Hizmo over the phone because I'm on assignment on the border. We're going to do it anyway. Here we go. Hey, are you his friend? Are you his friend? She's on the phone right here.

Yeah. Go ahead. Hey, actually works for me. My name is James O'Keefe. We're doing a story on the Federal Reserve and you're on tape saying, talking about Jerome Powell who you work for and you're saying that his legacy is to stop Trump. So I just wanted to get some more information about what you meant by that. I never said that. I never said that. He's doing it for the legacy.

You think he wants to be remembered for what he's done. He wants to be remembered in history. You think he wants to be remembered for what he's done? He wants to go down in history as one. As somebody who held the line against like Trump. I can quote you if you'd like. No, I never said that. I would never say that. We have you on tape saying a bunch of things about Donald Trump. You said quote, held the line against Donald Trump. Did you not say that. You have, we have you on tape saying a bunch of things about Donald Trump. You said, quote, held the line against Donald Trump.

Did you not say that? No, I didn't say that. As somebody who held the line against, like, Trump. No, I'm not commenting on this. Well, you already did comment. You said that you, Jerome Powell, who you work for, you are a principal economist at the Federal Reserve, aren't you? I'm not talking anymore to this.

Well, you already did talk to my friend. You sung like a canary. You told her that Jerome Powell... I love the word. Imagine being a PhD in economics, working at the Federal Reserve, being an advisor to the fucking guy who fucking pulls the biggest levers on the u.s

economy and getting snat getting fucking caught on tape because you're chasing down some pussy it's crazy it's crazy hey that's just the reality of it james is catching so many people it's all dudes who want to ejaculate he's not catching any women it circles us back to the beginning of the show wow full circle yeah james pose they put the james poses as a gay guy dating guys and getting and wearing wires and cameras in on them because those guys want to ejaculate they have tons of other guys who are dating chicks who are trying to ejaculate yeah the beaver hunt that's right beaver hunt it's probably hard for gay guys to find other gay guys so or new other gay guys so when james comes around he's just a fine piece of ass it's amazing god uh o'keefe has been posing as a gay

dude dating these guys for information yeah that's fucking amazing it's crazy what's weird what's weird is though you don't they're not what it's you never see dudes wearing wires in and catching women not one oh i'm gonna go in there this chick's gonna want to fuck me so bad she's gonna sing like a canary like that just doesn't work on girls no it sure doesn't i mean the girls are like hey i'm like like you saw stephanie mueller the da of um that's how it works with guys you just have you just wear a low-cut uh blouse hey you know why it doesn't work on guy like imagine you're a guy trying to snare a woman on a date but instead

you would start wanting to really fuck her even though you're supposed to be an undercover agent and the whole thing would go sideways you know what i mean yeah It would just backfire. It just doesn't work that way. Right. How embarrassing. These people are so dumb. Hey, did someone actually tell me what Schrodinger's cat was? At one point I thought I saw that. I should probably circle back and make sure I… Hey, you could put a Schrodinger's cat as a famous thought experiment that demonstrates the idea in quantum physics that tiny particles can be in two states at once until they're observed. Until they're observed, wow. It asks you to imagine a cat in a box with a mechanism that might kill it until you look inside. The cat is both alive and dead at the same time it doesn't what can someone explain that to me it doesn't even make sense

to me it's like if a tree were to fall in the woods but nobody's around it did it actually make a noise is that kind of the same lulu says that stamos could wear a wire in on her well i'm i'm extrapolating are you gonna figure it out and explain it to me i'm trying schrodinger's cat for idiots yeah i'll work on it a flask of poison oh let me read that one let me see that one a cat a flask of poison and radioactive source connected to a geiger counter

placed in a sealed box as illustrated the objects are in a state of super super superposition the cat is both alive and dead. Because you can't see it? The cat's not dead. The flask is shattered, releasing the poison which kills the cat. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead, yet when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive...

Jesus Christ. Yeah. What is this, Haley telling me a story? Did my wife write that fucking explanation for Schrodingers? Jesus Christ. Pick a better animal. Makes sense. Yeah, maybe Jeffrey Birchfield could explain it to me.

Probably. Smart guy. Yeah. Oh, here we go there it is no hi Heather Heather Rakowski our in-house physics she's the equivalent to John Young but in physics John's the expert in game shit. She's our physics expert. It's a theoretical construct that until observed, the subject is plausibly in either state. Well, no shit.

No shit. That makes sense, but it's still weird. Yeah, and I don't know. If a tree falls on my house and kills me and no one observes it, I could't know. Like if, if, if a, if a, if a tree falls on my house and kills me and no one observes it, I could still be alive. Right. I think that's,

yeah. Oh, okay. Here we go. Jeffrey Bershville. What the fuck happened? Well, look at his app.

Jesus. Look at his avatar, his picture. Jeffrey Bershville, if a profile picture, if the area around an atom is mostly empty space why can we not walk through walls well you know because of the uh electron shell no whatever that shell is around the outside that border that's around the outside of a cell that

the electron lives in is that the young version of jeff because that's amazing. Yeah. It's you. Yeah. Jeff, can you send a picture of yourself so Caleb knows what he's going to look like in 74 years? Wow, it is him. Yes. Pretty incredible. Is he saying yes to my cell wall?

Oh. I don't know I moved my kids jiu-jitsu class today from 10am to 9am so that I could go see Dave's daughter run oh cool this takes a little while to build up this one here I could go see Dave's daughter run. Oh, cool.

This takes a little while to build up this one here. New York City is now sending and buying flights for migrants to move around the country. Now, remember, New York was pissed because Texas was flying and busing migrants to – oh, I got hot from these socks, these Toastmasters socks. Wow. And it's raining here by the way if you if you hear anything about drought in california for the next 10 years you know that we're fucked because it has been raining now for two years straight um these are great socks if you want to stay warm these toe spacers they'll live in here keep my feet warm next to my ceo socks that i haven't even worn yet um so so new york is now sending migrants elsewhere so look this is in utah this guy was this guy was flown from from new york to utah so now new york's taking a page out of texas book and i was

like you will send him over here this is is getting ridiculous. I don't think they gave it to us for free. For bus or airplane? Airplane. And there in New York, they're trying to throw a lot of migrants and they're paying for tickets so they can come to Utah? So they can leave in another city, of course, so they can clear their place where they are. Due to the high amount of migrants in New York City, the city is slowly collapsing with them having spent billions of dollars fighting this crisis. collapsing with them having spent billions of dollars fighting this crisis, now Mayor Adams is sending migrants and buying plane tickets and bus tickets for migrants to

leave the city, sending them all throughout the country to sanctuary cities and sanctuary states. How much time do you have? Billions. Oh my god. Shit show, right? 100%. Massive shit show. Absolute disaster.

Is this true? Mormon leadership has been co-opted by the globalists they'll do whatever they're told is that really true? the Mormons are they got captured? what does that even mean? what are globalists? I don't know but I'm no fucking

that's World Economic Forum guys you'll have nothing and enjoy it Klaus Schwab California now has reservoirs at approximately 115% now listen Mike listen economic forum guys you'll have nothing and enjoy it Klaus Schwab is California now has reservoirs at approximately 115% now listen Mike listen I'm no fucking math expert but you cannot have something

at 115% wouldn't it just be 15% over what it maxed fill is? I don't know. I don't know. Whatever it is, it's wrong. Oh, yeah. Did the Mormons jump on the 49er?

That's a good question. I don't know. I don't think I have any Mormon friends to ask. Maybe I'll't know. I don't think I have any Mormon friends to ask. Maybe I'll find one. Do you think the Buttery Bros took the vaccine? Nah. I don't have any reason to. No, they had to travel a lot.

This story is going to fucking freak you out sorry I'm taking your job this story is this crazy so this this woman is gay right here and so she's I guess that means she's a lesbian she has a vagina and she likes other vagina

and she's married to a guy that's transitioned to a woman i think that's what it is so she's married to a tranny okay okay so so so i'm telling you that just so you know so she has some street cred yeah she dabbles in the arts the lgbtqz arts okay here we go watch this listen to this you're having me you describe yourself as a queer woman married to a transgender man yes and you're a member of the lgbtq community and you went there to do something good something positive at this clinic in st louis what changed changed your mind? A number of things. We started to see patients who were experiencing very significant medical harms, being rushed to the emergency room with lacerations requiring stitches. We had patients contact us who were

begging to have body parts put back on within months of having surgeries. And the thing that kept happening is every time I would raise concerns and ask about the protocols and ask about the guidelines, this is just how the industry works. If a child says they're trans, there's no questioning it. We just say, yep, you're trans. What would you like? What would you like? You're telling me that a 12 or 13-year-old who can't decide which pajamas to wear can come in and say, I've decided that I want to transition. And with no more than a couple of hours or two visits, not even a couple of hours, two visits,

they say, okay, start taking this, start doing this, which alters their biochemistry in a way that you can't come back from correct and you say you saw dramatic increases in what did she think she was going to see there imagine imagine imagine thinking you're gonna help someone chop their penis off and then and then seeing it go down and being like oh this is fucked like what did you what the fuck did you think was gonna happen yeah i wonder if she thought that like her husband or wife or whatever the fuck that is it's like oh yeah it works great this is exactly who i thought i should be and want to be and i feel great and i feel fine and then she's like i'm gonna keep doing that for everybody else that's not really how that works oh that was her thinking you're right

hey when someone says they're a transgender man yeah do you know how they present to the world as a man or a woman because i don't even know what that means i don't even know how to like to do the algebra does a transgender man mean that you were a man and now you present as a woman or your transgender man mean you were a woman now you present like a man i think they were a woman and then they transitioned to be a man oh okay so i had a professor who had who was married to a woman who transitioned to be a man and they named themselves butch and i think they had done they said that they were a transgender man okay so it's what you land at yeah i think so okay well that i think i could try to remember that

hey and is do you think that that that man sitting next to her used to be a woman. That's the husband. Watch this thing in the school. Teenage girls that had. That thing. No previous history of gender distress. Oh, I was going to say, because he turned out good. Yeah, he's. That's a handsome man.

All right. They suddenly declared themselves transgender and demanded immediate testosterone blockers. Yeah. Jamie, thank you for being here thank you for having me you describe yourself as geez man what the fuck can you tell us what they're what they're teaching you what what uh right now like in this month of training what you're learning no you can't no wouldn't it be weird if you were learning how to um support trannies uh post-op in the military if that was your that's it yeah dude i i was learning i don't yeah if i was learning that right because you were you are in the medical and you you serve you serve in the

u.s military as a medical personnel correct and the in the u.s military as a medical personnel correct and the u.s military does do transition surgeries right uh uh i don't know if we do yeah let's just say yes we don't know if they do them but but the u.s government paid for some correct yep so you might be in a course right now like i could make this story up and i could be like possibly one percent right there There's probably the U S military has people who work there that help reintegrate people after they've had some body parts removed or added. Absolutely. Yeah. I've worked with quite a few, uh, uh, doctors or like providers. We'll just call them providers that have patients who are regularly seeing

them for post-op treatment. Like their balls are like where they created their balls they might be unraveling or something right or yeah they need like crazy amounts of pain meds or mental health like they need like uh anti-depression anti whatever fill yourself shit dude what if your job in the u.s military was to just um do follow-up on um breast augmentations that women in the military had had that's all you did dude someone must have that job absolutely yeah because so the military will give you one free like uh cosmetic surgery cosmetic surgery right So you can, like, if you have some sort of issue, like you have like a,

what is it called? Like body dysmorphia or something. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't like the way your boobs look, then you can just get a boob job. And I mean, Mary asked,

would the military pay for you to get a nose job or just change my gender? They'd pay for both. She really wanted to. God, can you imagine being a girl and putting like being in the u.s military is probably crazy enough as a girl but then just putting some big old d's on there your shit would be fucking chaotic i don't know how any any women in the military have body issues because the dudes just go nuts about every single one of them yeah it

doesn't matter doesn't matter dude you doesn't matter, dude. You should, as soon as they get out of basic training and they start going to some school, it's like any woman they see, they just want a bone. Yeah. I mean, it's fucking that.

That's the, that's your natural state between the age of 12 and till you die. Right. Exactly. It's just at a heightened sense at 20. Yeah. What a weird thing they gotta they gotta kick i this is they gotta not let women in the military it has removable

yeah they do shit gets crazy man that's why you see so many uh like 19 20 year old dudes get married to a woman and as soon as they finish basic training they're like i love this woman you're like no you just finally found somebody who sucks your dick good hey well and um gary roberts told me that basically you couldn't have your girl come on base unless you were married right so he got married so he could have beaver come on base exactly yep that's that's a thing too like just fucking go to a hotel or something because i think the other problem is that when you're not when you're not married you're stuck in in dorms for

you could be there for years until you get married or until you move somewhere else yeah i'm sure pool boy's girlfriend knows exactly what he's oh it must be chaos for her dude especially for her if i was her i'd wear a fucking burka yeah that would fucking suck oh my god it must be nuts for her yeah it must be nuts for her just in like the regular world that's a good point. Okay. Here we go. Do not give your child. By the way, I was on Jason Kleba's podcast. Oh, yeah.

I saw some clips from that. If you want to hear the super opinionated version of me, go over there and listen to that. Okay. Do not give your kid a cell phone. Please do not give your kid a cell phone. Here we go. Another teenage boy has taken his own life after being sextorted by the same group of Nigerian men who have been targeting our kids for years. This boy in Australia traded explicit images with a person online who he thought to be a young girl. The other user then began making threats and demanding a few hundred dollars. And within just

a few hours of first contact, this boy had taken his life. Australian police were able to track and find the two Nigerian men who targeted this boy, but Australia has no capacity to extradite them, and they're being dealt with locally in Nigeria. So parents, here's what we got to know. This group of Nigerian men call themselves the Yahoo Boys. They're sending out mass communications across platforms like Snapchat and Instagram. They use tried and tested scripts, pretending to be attractive young women to flirt and manipulate the young teen targets into sharing nude images or videos. And then once they do, the chat turns into threats saying they'll share the nudes if the target doesn't pay.

These men know how to isolate and shame and corner these children. They've done it thousands of times. And we keep losing teenage boys to suicide in the U.S., in the U.K., in Canada, in Australia, all over. Nobody wants to have these talks with our kids, to have to let them know that there are horrible people in the world who will do things. Let me do a little public service announcement to all men out there. Listen. This is family friendly everyone bring your kids close to the tv set i got something for you come come in close listen public service announcement to the entire world come in go ahead call your kids in this one this one's family friendly

okay you got everyone especially the boys bring the boys in bring the boys close Come in. Go ahead. Call your kids in. This one's family friendly. Okay. Got everyone? Especially the boys. Bring the boys in. Bring the boys close. If any woman ever asks you for a naked picture, your default response should be, that is not a woman. Your default response should be, that is not a woman. No woman wants to see a naked man that she does not know. They barely want to see naked men they know. If someone online is asking you for naked pictures, it is a man. A hundred percent of the time. I don't care what they tell you.

I don't care what pictures they sent you. No woman in the history of planet Earth has ever taken a drill bit and drilled it through a fucking men's locker room so she could watch the men change. And yet somewhere, always on planet Earth at all times, drilled it through a fucking men's locker room so she could watch the men change. And yet somewhere, always on planet Earth at all times, there is a man with a drill bit drilling a hole into a wall somewhere to look at naked women.

Look, even David agrees with this. Facts. Once again, no woman has ever on an electronic device asked a strange man for a naked picture. Thank you. Fuck nuts. Sounds about right. Some chick asked me for a naked picture. You fucking kidding me? It's James O'Keefe's going to use it on shit on you.

He will. kidding me like james james o'keefe's gonna use it on shit on you he will what what is the what is the mechanism of sending a dick pic what do you mean what is like what makes you want to send a dick pic yeah like i don't like like that guy scott wiener, that guy, Scott Wiener, the congressman or whatever, the that was Anthony Wiener. Yeah. Who's married to Hillary Clinton's top aide. He was sending dick pics to like underage girls and then got caught and then sent him again or something or some story like that. I think he went to jail and got out and then still sent more. It's like, dude. like that i think he went to jail and got out and then still sent more it's like dude yeah what part i don't even understand i don't understand the the why you would do that

oh uh bernie gannon uh speaking uh bernie definitely has a little bit of a tism too right don't lump him he could you could compete with hiller uh sebi that's just a correlate women are just not skilled with drills i mean fuck he said wow he's so logical yeah open to everything right uh sebon uh you should take that chick's page on instagram that teaches you how to send tasteful dick pics. Really? Is there?

There really is an Instagram page like that? There is. Yeah. And really, most of the I just went through. I'm like, man, I could use some ideas, you know. And there's like it's usually not even a dick pic that you, that's like suggested. It's just like a sensual picture of yourself. It's like, it's never like a, like, you know what, you know what I'm going to do tonight?

I'm going to scratch my feet while I watch UFC, the bottom of my feet for like seven hours. And I'm going to scratch it onto like a piece of black cloth and then take a picture of that and send it to my wife and be like what do you think look at this pile of dead skin seven hours of scratching hey i want just want to see if someone throws up in the audience hey i i i think one i i just remembered i had a flashback one time i did take a picture of my dick i drew a i like looking down at my dick i drew two eyes and nose

and a mouth on it and then i tied a piece of red yarn around the base of it and then i put a uh like i had a little sombrero and i put it on it so it looked like a Mexican dude what? I did that in college wow I only showed it to one person I think I showed it to Haley and that's what got her

I'm sure she's like yep and my dick was all flaccid and shit by the time I put the red tourniquet on i had this red piece of yarn you know what i mean off the blood flow yeah it had like a mustache and shit and i put a little sombrero and i mean you couldn't barely tell it was a dick holy shit like you couldn't see the balls or nothing but it was pretty funny yeah mexican dick yeah it was pretty funny did you i've been chorizo i I wonder if my wife still has that picture.

God, I should be careful. What if after I made fun of her for the bee story, she fucking posts that picture to her Instagram? God, that would be fucking horrible. Hi. Hi. Hey, this is Ortega. Hey, what's up, dude?

Hey, man. I jumped in the whole big situation. one the B situation The big dick. Oh, yeah If you snap shot you draw eyes like a happy face dick the snap filters work on it Wow Just So like if I take a marker

And draw a face on the side of my penis Then I can use a Snapchat filter And it'll dress my penis up Yeah Wow Like put like pig ears on it or something It'll make it puppy for you Alright

Well thank you That's really cool There you go Just when I thought this show Wasn't going to offer any informative information today. Science. Creative dick pics.

All right. There you go. You learned something new today. Bye. Thank you. Wow. All right, guys. UFC 300 tonight. Don't bother me. 3 o'clock to 10 o'clock Pacific Standard Time. I will be glued in front of a TV.

I'm headed off to Jiu Jitsu. Then off to watch track and field event. Caleb, good to see you. See you guys tomorrow. Bye-bye.