The Sevan Podcast - Live Call In | There is More than You Know
Episode Date: January 16, 2024Welcome to this episode of the Sevan Podcast! Register for CrossFit for Health Summit HERE - https://www.crossfitforhealthsummit.com/?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.crossfitforhealthsummit.com%2Fa%2F214771978...8%2FezYHjNhB 3 PLAYING BROTHERS - Kids Video Programming https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://capeptides.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE SHIPPING https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://swolverine.com/ - THE SUPPLEMENTS I TAKE! BIRTHFIT Programs: Prenatal - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/w... Postpartum - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/w... Codes (20% off): Prenatal - SEVAN1 Postpartum - SEVAN2 https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS https://www.vndk8.com/ - OUR OTHER SHIRT https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER 3 PLAYING BROTHERS - Kids Video Programming https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Partially present. That's how I feel
Well said thank you how'd you know
How did you know
After uh
Four days of Wadapalooza I don't even
Remember what I do here without Wadapalooza
It's like I forgot what I do
What's my shtick
What do I do do saber good morning cool looking at all your pictures dude seeing all the people
you met this week that's cool the real kevin dave interview this weekend review uh i don't know i
don't know he's coming on soon don't worry he's coming on soon. Don't worry. He's coming on soon.
You know, I was wondering what happens if you go all the way through SEAL training.
And then you don't want to kill anyone.
I need to ask him that I was actually thinking about that this morning.
Like, wait, you go through all that training, all that training, all that training.
It's like those people who go through it.'s like being a doctor right you go through all that training 12 years of training and then you realize you're full of shit you've they've
turned you into nothing but a a pusher of uh drugs for pharma that's all you are i mean you
know some shit i don't mean mean to completely belittle it,
but the occupation funnel that they're pushing you in is just horrible.
I can't find my backdrop to my show.
It's weird. It's gone.
When we do shows like Wadapalooza,
there's so many people working on the back end and tweaking with stuff.
I just can't find it.
So I had to go back to this old one.
You see it?
You see it? I'll pull my picture off look at it you see that just says birth fit paper street coffee there's a little yogi
but there's no um i don't see uh
i don't see any of the ca peptide stuff it's under brand two point new 2.0 right above water Palooza
brand
Two point oh right under a lot of no it's not it is not
No
No.
It's right.
It's right.
It's under new 2.0 above the Wadapalooza one.
No, that says Zellos Games.
God, I wish you were right.
It's called Sevan Podcast Background.
No. It's called Sevan Podcast Background. Uh, no. Oh, well.
It'll work itself out.
I ain't tripping.
I ain't tripping.
I ain't tripping.
Robert Cowton. Robert Couton.
Couton.
Great coverage this weekend.
11 medals.
The morning panel with JR and Tyler was excellent.
11.
Did we do 11 shows?
I think we did more than 11 shows.
God knows how many we did.
Fuck, so many.
Are adult slumber parties acceptable?
Are adult slumber parties...
Oh, there it is.
What the...
Fuck, where?
How did he do that?
How did he do that?
How did he do that?
How many...
Dude, I swear I tried that. I swear I tried that. I don't know. All right. Thank you. What do I say? Thank you. Thank you, Will Branstetter.
Thank you.
My breathing's a little weird this morning.
It was different getting up at 6 a.m.
I've been getting up at 7 a.m.
for the last four days.
I got lazy.
Oh, boy.
Amazing weekend.
Got the results my team wanted
and looking forward to the SoCal Wadapalooza.
Oh, that's cool.
I'm putting on socks.
It's cold back here.
No, no, no, Caleb.
No, Sousa.
Seve, do you think they will ever use the broadcasting team again?
Scott Perkins.
Wadapalooza was bad bad bad
Hey, I thought I don't think it was bad
What do you think was bad about it? I thought Shawn did a great job. I thought Tommy did a great job
I thought Brian Brian was I thought Brian's information was great. He was just acting weird. You know the the
The Joe killer made on his Instagram was apropos
to the way brian was acting it sounded like he was like copying some sort of intonation or trying something new like uh he was doing a
golf show and dude i thought lauren khalil was fucking amazing i know people were just having
fun but dude imagine that was her first time i didn't hear she was laughing. People were making fun of her for laughing a lot, but she didn't do any ums or uhs.
She was on point.
She gave tons of great information.
I was never I never thought they were giving any dumb information.
I appreciate everything they said.
I to be completely frank.
I never once was like watching and like, man, bad it was only in the comments I'd be like
oh man people are really having that out having at him but I didn't think it was bad
I don't think Brian was nervous Brian I think Brian was nervous and not himself I don't think
he was nervous I think what do I think I just think before, like the, I don't know, the other shows he's done everything. Right.
And so this was the first time, even,
even when we've done some things together, I completely deferred to him,
but this time he was dealing with other people who were exceptionally
competent at their job, meaning Sean and Tommy.
And so finding a rhythm of back and forth with them was going to be
difficult. I didn't have a problem with it at all.
Zero.
None.
I was more than happy.
Hey, here's the thing, too.
I watched some people are like, well, they've never even competed at the highest level.
They're not even games athletes, that shit.
Okay, fine.
But I watched a lot of UFC.
And when they brought the espn guys to start
commentating the ufc man it was fucked up it those are all um avid uh practitioners at least
of crossfit i mean lauren khalil does crossfit sean and tommy are super proficient crossfit
brian's super proficient those Those are all coaches. Like, they know their shit.
Vest season again.
Yeah, kind of.
I found this on the floor in here.
I must have put it on a couple days ago.
It's getting cold.
I actually, I keep telling myself that I'm going to wear a collared shirt and start wearing vests again just to change shit up.
But not a taxidermy.
Agree, Khalil is fine.
Yeah.
I had no, um, um, I had no... I had no issue.
I think Lauren gets undue hate.
Yeah.
But why?
Hmm.
Walter. Hi.
When I was in Little League, a photographer was handing out his website to to us before we knew about dot org.
So when he said it, we thought he was a pedo sending us to an orgy site.
OK, thank you for your contribution.
Let's see.
Frodo, it was fine.
I did notice the extra laugh.
I don't care.
Here's the thing.
This is my favorite question.
Jake Chapman, what do you think about the Latin division?
Latin America division.
It's like the homo flag.
I had no problem with it forever and ever and ever.
Have it at the bar, have it at the fucking liquor store.
There's people where I live who have it up on their garage.
It's cool. I love it.
You're gay and you're proud and you love the same genitalia.
Fucking A. I love you. Rock on.
Then you put that shit up in my on my elementary school
and i'm like no i don't want the pirate flag at my elementary school i don't want the i eat
fucking vegan flag in my elementary school i don't want that at my elementary school i just
don't i don't want that there it's not appropriate for obvious reasons but i would do a whole show
again saying why it's not cool i'll just tell you really
quick that's a sex flag that denotes not connotes but denotes that i have a cock and that i want
cock drug across my face that's all that flag denotes
it says that why would it need to be up in an elementary school?
And so the Latin America division, anyone can participate. They have categories for everybody at Guadalupalooza.
Why do they need one for Latin Americans?
Well, here's the thing that makes it of that it makes it more acceptable it's not
skin color it's nationality that's the thing people are get all get all fucking confused about
i'm not sure why but it's not it's not necessarily ethnic it's just a coincidence i guess that
everyone's south of san diego is the same same ethnicity but it's just a geographical region
and that shit's okay in sports to have events just for
geographical regions right that's where the nfl nba major league baseball it's all that shit split
up the olympics all that shit so for some reason that's okay cool okay i'm okay with that too
but it's just these times that makes me sensitive to it right like i don't need anyone segregated
based on their skin color but it's not really their skin
color that's just a a coincidence the truth is it's just by region so yeah and the motherfuckers
who pay for this whole thing these guys are like you know colombians or some shit so like
yeah i'm good uh don't lie sebi you're just waiting for the ceo zip hoodie i do have one i
he made me a one-off that said
it has to be CEO across
the entire front. I can't have it just up on
one side. It's got to be across the whole front. Oh,
shit. I'm going to send
Caleb my notes. I just saw Caleb roll in.
Caleb just rolled into the office
late, rubbing sleep out of his eyes
and shit.
So that's how I feel about the
Latin American division. I think I just pulled a piece of meat
out of my mouth.
I want to send a little message
to...
Hi, Kev.
Good morning.
I want to send a little message out there.
They're not going to get it, but just let me rehearse it with you.
I want to send a little message out there to all the people out there trying to control other people in the media space.
You don't have any control over the media.
And if you try to leverage what power you do have over the people in the
media space,
it's going to backfire.
You have no clients that we truly give a fuck about.
If you try to control us and say things like,
Hey,
I'm not going to give you access to Caleb anymore.
If you don't take this down
or put this up or do this, then we just won't cover Caleb anymore.
And then we will release to the public that you're the agent who's trying to bully the
media around.
And when that gets out, no one's going to like any of your clients.
And it won't matter if your clients are the top 10 women and top 10 best men in CrossFit.
We as the media can fucking focus on anyone and blow everyone best men in crossfit we'll go we we as the
media can fucking focus on anyone and blow everyone up it's what we do it's our craft
we can focus on colton mertens tater tot olivia kerstetter uh uh aunt haynes we can pick anyone
david shrunk there's plenty of people to just blow the fuck up and just love on.
Do not be fucking stupid and think that you're holding all the power.
You are not.
You do not understand the power structure if that's what you're doing.
All of us out here, we all know each other.
We're all friends.
We're all working together.
You start swinging your big dick around and being an asshole to some of us we'll just fucking out you you don't you don't control any of us or anything we can do everything from our home just full fucking around on the internet
there's there's not one lead there i don't know any lazy people, media people who went to Guadalupe.
Everyone fucking ponied up their own cash.
I'm going to use an example that's completely irrelevant just to show you.
This guy Pedro is a schoolteacher, a family man.
He lives in Ireland.
He ponied up his own big cash, probably over $1,000, $2,000, $3,000 to come out here and work.
He knows when he's here that he has to be working the entire time or else he just wasted his $3,000.
In his mind, he's like, how am I going to make this $3,000 back?
How am I going to build my brand?
How am I going to build the services that I'm providing to the community so that I can justify spending this $3,000 instead of using it to buy my kids new clothes and my wife food. It's like that. It's that serious to us. No, no one's fucking around.
It's like that. You're fucking with our lunch money. So don't start. I'm practicing. Thank
you for letting me practice. Cause there's letting me practice because there's some people out there
who think that they...
They don't understand the power structure.
They think they're going to take something from us.
You're not taking anything from us.
What's going to end up happening
is you're going to swing your big dick around
and we are going to...
We're just going to out you.
We're going to start ignoring you and your athletes
and we're going to start telling that story.
We're going to tell the story about how you think you can push us around,
and you can't.
We're good people trying to work hard, giving it our all.
Did you see, Caleb, you wouldn't believe this.
Anyway, I'll wait for that. There's a great pager did an hour and
a half interview and there's this great section in there with danny spiegel i watched it with you
last night you did watch a little bit and she starts criticizing the event which is fine i
respect that but then later on along in the interview she starts saying that it's not cool
that people criticize the event and so pedro calls her on that. He's like,
Hey,
aren't you doing what you just said?
You don't like people doing.
And then right away she turns and starts playing the victim.
And then comments are like,
Hey,
why are you,
why are you guys obsessing on Danny?
It's like,
dude,
she,
she brought Hiller up in the interview.
He didn't like,
why is she obsessing on him?
Don't,
don't worry about us.
That's what we do we obsess on people
although she didn't mention him explicitly i guess it's inferred yeah yeah if she's not
gonna say who it is then i feel perfectly okay guessing she basically said hey there's people
making content out there that's influencing judges that make it hard make it's making it
hard for me to work out and i'm getting a bum deal that's i don't think that that's influencing judges that make it hard for me to work out and I'm getting a bum deal.
I don't think that that's true at all.
But she said a lot of insane shit too.
She said like her 1.8 million followers are good people.
Just the bad ones are just the men.
And I'm like, well, that's 1.799999 followers.
Like I know one of her followers that absolutely loves her and she goes to my gym.
That's good. That's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
Toxic masculinity.
You just don't like beta males.
Sean Sullivan, you love meat in your mouth.
I do.
Eaton Beaver, good morning.
That's not a good morning to you.
That's a good morning to both of us.
His name is Eaton Beaver. Oh, good morning. Oh. That's a good morning to both of us. His name is Eaton Beaver.
Oh,
good morning.
Oh,
you could say good morning too.
Great weekend.
I thought it was a great weekend too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A couple of my gym lover too.
Yes,
she's lovable.
Dude,
she was great in the interview until,
until he scratched the surface and then the shit just fell apart.
Remember what Chris Rock says.
There's four ways to get attention show that ass be fucking great at something do something uh uh
infamous that's like you know the sex tape or play the victim those are the four ways
she's doing all four of them but six minutes in you play the victim it's like wow um yeah julie jones that yeah exactly danny always plays the victim when things don't go
her way she needs to learn to follow the standards period yeah that's it
and stop blaming other people dude like how come you're so fucking cool look at jason hopper
and dallin and ricky how they were just completely able to leverage the media to work their way.
How is it that she is so cool, so capable, so beautiful, so well-spoken,
all these things, but for some reason she has an issue with some of the media.
It's like, dude, take control and fix that shit.
It's on you, girl. Stop blaming. It's on you. Take control and fix that shit it's on you girl
stop blaming it's on you take control and fix that shit
or don't or don't
fuck what do I know maybe you like it this way
some people need fighting in their life
there were these
filmmakers I used to work with when I was running the media
department and they were always
fucking complaining and it would piss me off
and then I realized oh shit that's part of their process that's just part of their process
like getting things off their chest you mean yeah like i i guess you know like someone like
who has autism or something or ocd or ticking like before they open a door they have to be like
and then they open the door yeah and like
knock that shit off well chill chill like i don't care if that person does that or not i just need
them to go through the door so then i just start to learn to work with people like who have like
these pathologies or these needs because at the end of the day i just need them to go through the
door i just need them to make sure so they would come in my room and my office and complain or be bitching i'll be like okay this is part of the process
just let them do that for 10 minutes and then they go away yeah danny just figure out the process
oh jedediah wow uh been looking for you buddy
been looking for you hey jedediah did you see that dude egan uh at wadapalooza the
he was uh i think he won the um I don't know what you would call that.
Was it a snatch from the lap?
He did a one.
I want to say he did 155 in the event, but I want to say his lifetime PR was 162.
I sent him a text asking if he'd come on the show or a DM.
But I guess Colton was trying that.
Hey, you think that's dangerous Jedediah for that dude, for Colton
to be trying the adaptive
athlete snatches?
It looked like it would fuck your shoulder up
if you weren't proficient in that
movement.
Yeah. Oh, damn. Look at you.
How much is this? I think this is 145 cold mertens. I mean, that's really a reverse curl, right?
Yeah Might be a 10 on there 155 maybe it says I think it's
I think that bar's short or something. I don't think that's a 45 bar. I think it's Think that bars shorter something I don't think I think you're right. It's probably one of those comp bars. I
Have one of those are nice. I like this you do have one. Yeah, where do you grab that?
Like at the callers. Yeah, dang dang
Your elbows hit the weights.
Your elbows hit the plates or your forearm.
No,
I'm not that close,
but I got to go all the way out there for sure.
Damn.
I girls love dangerous.
Oh,
here,
uh,
Jedediah,
there is a proper technique.
I was watching on IG live.
He was leaving it out front too far okay
yeah Adam Blakesley good point it's if it's dangerous for Colton it's more dangerous for
the adaptive athlete guys because if he hurts his shoulder then what I just think that they're
probably more proficient and they've they've they've worked that groove more
than than Colton getting in that weird position with really heavy weights
there was this concept that um
where was it oh there's this concept did you guys watch the behind the scenes this morning episode 4 it was awesome
I watched it last night before I went to bed
I hadn't seen it yet, and there's a concept in there that
Pat velner brings up that basically you could work your ass off in an event and perform better than
What was that? What was the term he used?
Maybe someone will remember in the comments
God, what was the term he used?
Maybe someone will remember in the comments.
But basically, you perform higher than you're really capable of.
And he said that he thinks that happened to Adler in event number one. And that's why Adler was cooked for event number two.
It falls in that line of a guy who gets a girlfriend who's too hot for him.
It falls in that line of like a guy who gets a girlfriend who's too hot for him.
Paul Peters, Caleb, why do you always look like a feet predator?
Takes one to know one.
Damn.
No, you didn't, Caleb.
I don't even know what a feet predator is.
What's a feet predator?
I'm guessing somebody that just wants to look at feet all day.
Foot fetish guy.
Feet predator.
Feet predator.
Heidi Kroom, it's like when your kid's stuck under a car and you pick up the car.
The old adrenaline. Really that it's just that
all right hey let's go to the we're gonna go to the bottom i didn't number them again
we're just gonna we're just gonna just work our way up i'd like to get all the way up to vagina
comedy do you see that at least oh wow that's up That's up there. Yeah, we have.
We let's start with do good.
Do good economy.
The do good economy.
Oh, jerks it to feet.
Caleb doesn't look like he jerks it to feet.
He's too busy with the Shattuck.
Again, I would hurt his neck to drink.
Listen, Paul, this guy, this guy doesn't even know feet exist.
He's he's fucking six, 13 and a a half can't even see him yeah he forgets he has feet
how about what hillar said on the show the other day so
hillar hillar was on the show and he said hey you know guys on steroid the guys who has the
hottest girl in the room is on steroids and i was like holy shit that's true and then consider that and then all these
guys who like are like all the guys have you noticed how many guys on instagram now are on
testosterone it's like it's just like everyone and their mother is on t and you can just see it in their heads
it's a trip and every all the chicks have fake boobs and fake lips and it's just like
i want to tell you the story i heard this weekend?
Yeah.
I'm so glad my life isn't fake.
I just get to just chill.
Work hard, but chill.
Fake sounds so hard.
Doesn't it? Yeah, it sounds so hard. Hey hard hey dude it's funny you say that chris
i had this theory i've i've put it on this show a couple times that basically
all of these all of this botox and fake tits and all of this shit that that women are doing to themselves all these
lifts and plastic surgeries i guess just not women i guess the men too that there is some sort of
tranny component to it and that these people who are like i hate to say it like this but these
people who are on the right who have like think that it's like gross or
weird or but they don't realize that they're participating in it too
it's the same pathology it's just manifesting a little bit differently but it's the same pathology
it's the same issue. It grows from something.
Austin Hartman,
natural tits are so much good.
The best.
I'm not an expert,
but I have to guess.
I agree with you.
But the thing is, Austin, but you like looking at the other ones
too
with three O's
you love looking at the other ones too
so it's weird
I saw this woman on Instagram
and it's her it had her name and then it said natural medicine doctor.
And then I clicked on her button and she had big fake tits and fake lips and fake hair and just everything about her was fake.
And I'm just like, you're not like, you're not a natural medicine, like you're a natural medicine doctor.
like you're a natural medicine doctor listen to Caleb he's a boobs
sommelier
sommelier
how do you say that word
sommelier
that's pretty good Kenneth
Jesus
Cave's been reading books again listen to this shit transhumanism occurs before the
fall of an empire is that what happened to the romans please uh heidi krum um tranny
component for botox please go deeper it's something you're not you're not happy with
yourself not you heidi but i'm just saying basically you're not happy with yourself not you heidi but i'm just saying
basically you're not happy with yourself and you're going to start to make some some some
serious external uh changes and so you're going to take this poison that's killed a lot of people
that's found in rusty cans often known as botulism but you're going to find a way to safely inject it
in your fucking face to sweat to make wrinkles go away because you just can't accept who you are on the outside.
So you're going to take this risk of paying someone hard-earned money, which is human energy, to fucking change the way you look on the outside.
When the truth is, is no one gives a fuck but you.
But you think other people give a fuck and that's why you're doing it.
but you think other people give a fuck and that's why you're doing it.
And it's, it's the same sort of derangement that eventually I think grows and grows and
grows until you chop your dick off.
I think that those things are related.
It's just baby steps.
I mean,
for those of you who are out in the real world, every time I go out in real world, I smell someone and I'm and I'm like, wow, like.
That person thinks that what they've added a smell to them that they think that somehow is good, you know what I mean?
Like you're on the sidewalk and someone walks by you and you're like, wow, I smell something you've added to your body.
When I just don't want to smell. But they're wrong.
No one likes the Axe smell.
I don't think.
And then if you do like the Axe smell.
I also would go on to say.
I know this is very elitist of me.
But you're attracting the wrong people.
Let's go back to Danny Spiegel.
She's attracting the wrong people.
You don't want to attract men
who fucking doom scroll through beaver pics.
Sorry, Caleb.
Through thirst pics.
Better?
Oh, that's better.
Yeah.
Less offensive.
Thank you.
You don't want to attract that.
I'm also okay with her doing it but but but she's
clouded when she says shit like hey i have good followers no no actually you don't you're very
unhealthy uh beta the beta class following you and it's and it's confused you about who you are
what a woman is and what a man is she must not scroll through her dms very often or her requests
fondle i wish you would have put a question mark at the end of this you don't want followers who
jerk a lot hey how how but boy okay okay okay here we How many – do you think that someone jerks off to Danny Spiegel every single day?
Probably at least one person.
Well, if you've ever jerked off to Instagram, will someone call me? I don't know. I've never jerked off to Instagram. It's not something I do or never done. I don't see it as that kind of material.
But I wonder if people do.
Yeah, Fondle, likely.
Hey, so that's interesting, right?
So it might be one person, but Fondle, if I told you, look at Jessica Valenzuela, absolutely.
If I told you it was 1,000 of her 1.8 million Instagram followers jack off to her every day, you would be like, you could still believe that too, right?
Yeah, other than me.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be crazy?
Video released.
Sevan jacking off to Danny Spiegel.
Okay, guilty.
Yeah, that's yeah we but you but it's happening and it's um i'm not i'm not lying i don't i've never jerked off to instagram there's nothing on there
there's nothing there's nothing on there i don't do i don't do i don't see instagram as a tool like that
i've never put a hammer in i have a killer wrench that i got from rogue one time when i bought this
rogue shit oh i should bring it on the show it's huge it's like this big it's for building um
rigs it's massive dude matt and it's so fucking heavy it would be great for putting in nails but
i don't put nails in with it i still just use my hammer and that's a wrench or a hammer it's so fucking heavy. It would be great for putting in nails, but I don't put nails in with it. I still just use my hammer.
And that's why it's a hammer.
It's a wrench.
I'll bring it on the show,
but that's how I think of Instagram,
Instagram.
It might be good for jacking off.
I just don't use it for that.
It's just not that tool for me.
It's just a wrench.
Anyway, she has to, she she she it sounded after that interview that peter did with her that she's delusional about what her role is on instagram that what role she's made for herself
and i'm totally open to being wrong are you if someone wants to be like no fucking way
savvy dudes are not jacking off to her at all. Never happened.
All the dudes who follow her are cool,
and they love the fact that she's showing a woman body
that's not the prototypical body,
and that's empowering women.
And you've got it totally wrong.
Yeah, Kelly Baker's hot as fuck.
I have not scrolled her account and jerked to it,
but I think she's fucking out of this world.
Like, I think she's at 25 i like southern girls i love it thank you
big baka i feel like danny Danny pegs gay men for money
I don't feel that
But I don't judge her for it
If she does do it
And I can
Hold on
I can see it in my mind's eye
Oh she's a Philly girl
Yeah I'm not into Philly girls so much
Damn
Alright sorry Kel you're out
that team was cool kelly and the lundenberger girl and uh
keesley they won okay let's go let's go let's go let's do politics i don't even know what
politics are i've been tripping what are politics is this politics what i'm about to show you someone tell
me if this is politics here we go illegal immigrants line up to receive free taxpayer
funded housing in new york this piece right here is going to show you how the do this is do-gooder
economy this is the democrat economy this is this is the fucking problem there's two things i want
you to look at here what's the ethnic makeup of the people in line here because these are
supposed to be immigrants and i don't see any brown people and then the other thing is uh look
at this economy look what they got here the people live in this house in these in this housing for 60
days and they're kicked out right because it's a 60 you're only allowed to live there 60 days for
free but since new york City is a sanctuary city,
they have to give housing if people want it
so that people get in line again.
Who thought that was a good idea
to offer free housing no matter what
to people who break into your country?
That's like if someone broke into your house,
no matter what, they get to use one of your bedrooms.
That makes no sense.
Okay, here we go.
Action.
People are coming in faster than we've normally seen.
It's yet to be seen how much that will cost.
What I can tell you is that the crisis up to this point has cost $3 billion.
And as more people come,
the cost continues to go up. The issue for New York is that they're not only dealing with
newly arrived migrants, they're dealing with folks that have already been in New York City housing
and are now being reticketed. So all of these folks already had free housing here in New York,
and then they were given eviction notices, essentially 30 or 60 day notices telling them
that they have to leave their
shelter but because this is a sanctuary city housing is guaranteed so if they wait in line
they can reapply and then be rehoused and what you're seeing is this line which wraps around
the corner and it has been this long all day long but the concern is that people are
hey why are there so many are there that many black people coming across the
border those are like any black people coming across the border there are so i don't think
there are any oh well that's a lot of black people in line there in the migrant line she's reporting
that those are migrants sorry illegal aliens you're right people have broken into our country sorry not migrants illegal aliens you're right sorry sorry libby illegal aliens. You're right. People have broken into our country.
Sorry, not migrants.
Illegal aliens.
You're right.
Sorry.
Sorry, Libby.
You're right.
You're right.
They've broken into our country.
Listen, if you want to open the borders, I get it.
But then we don't have a country.
We have to make a fucking decision here.
Like the whole premise of the country and the fact that we can do stuff like pay taxes and build roads.
Like the whole point is we draw a line around this piece of land and all of us who are inside of it are like, OK, we're going to move forward to make this an active, efficient civilization where it's safe for all of us to kind of live out our dreams.
Right. Our liberty. Right. So we draw the lines and we start making rules.
OK, everyone's going to chip in a dollar and we're going to build a road across the middle of our country. Cool. Yay. So now we can have commerce. Right. Our liberty. Right. So we draw the lines and we start making rules. OK, everyone's going to chip in a dollar and we're going to build a road across the middle of our country. Cool. Yay. So now we can have commerce. Right. We're all going to chip in money so that we can take care of people when they turn 80 years old and they have a place to live. OK. Yay.
and that's that's the whole premise of it but but we don't want people coming into our line and circle and not contributing right but savvy those people work in the fields and if it wasn't
for them we wouldn't have fruits and vegetables the entire economy would stop okay well let's
figure that out but just pouring in fucking what i think we're at 150,000, um,
people,
uh,
illegal aliens,
people broke in or in New York city alone.
These are people who just want to come for the,
because of the rules of that city,
they get free housing.
Has Dick butter not been around for a while?
Yeah.
He's,
he's been kind of MIA lately.
I think it was the first time I've seen him in, like, weeks.
Months, maybe?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Seve, you seen Egypt's border wall with Gaza?
I don't remember Europe putting up a border wall to keep ukrainians in i don't understand what he's saying yeah you got well let me tell you something you guys got a one world government about to go
down over there and some of the countries aren't so happy poland ain't gonna let that happen and
guess what they have no crime like that but But guess where does have crime like that?
London.
And guess what they did?
They're surrounded by water and they let that shit happen to them.
And they got fucking beheadings on their streets, dude.
Yeah, here's the thing.
Extra sloppy.
I'd be all about them coming here if they weren't robbing us blind dude my my family came here
but they fucking they applied and they rolled in through the application
process and they got here in an orderly civilized manner
that funneled them into the into society not pouring into cities bringing cities
to a halt and pushing our kids out of
their fucking schools so that they can sleep in the schools that's crazy that doesn't help anybody
what doesn't help anybody okay trump january 6 oh shit yeah's go. We're good. We're good. We're good. We have LeBron news today. LeBron. Here we go.
Clay Higgins from Louisiana.
Did you have confidential human sources dressed as Trump supporters inside the Capitol on January the 6th prior to the doors being open?
Again, I had to be very careful.
It should be a no.
Can you not tell the American people no?
We did not have confidential human sources dressed as Trump supporters positioned inside the Capitol.
Gentlemen's time has expired.
You should not read anything into my decision
not to share information.
Director Ray, gentlemen's time has expired.
What a sleazy, repulsive little authoritarian liar.
Remember Clay Higgins from Louisiana?
Did you have confidence?
They had fucking people inside the Capitol building.
Ready to pose as Trump supporters.
There's a French word for it.
Provocateurs.
Is that French?
Latin?
God, we fucking live in a weird time.
Yet dressed as Trump supporters.
Posing.
Posing as Trump supporters. An agent provocateur is a person who commits or acts into entice another person to
commit an illegal or rash act or falsely implicates them in partaking in an illegal act. Yeah. So as
to ruin the reputation of our enticed legal action against.
Yeah, that's what they were doing, man.
Graciano Rubio, go get your level two.
Sean Sullivan, there were over 200 undercover federal agents in the crowd.
It's been confirmed uh nico they have a video of one of the
provocateurs cia agents being arrested and having the cuffs removed when they aren't around others man uh lebron's contribution to humanity i don't know if you guys have heard but lebron's
opened a school and it's been open for three years not a single student has
been able to pass the basic mathematic competency tests but here it even gets better u.s marshal service last year arrested three men
accused of fatally beating 17 year old high school student ethan limming to death outside the school
founded by lebron james in june we learned from the police report that the suspects took limming's
car and prevented his friends from driving him to the hospital.
It was later reported that the attackers broke Lemming's neck and Ethan Lemming had a shoe print on his chest when he died.
On Monday, a jury convicted the two brothers Deshaun Stafford, 20, and his brother, 19-year-old Tyler Stafford, on lesser assault charges.
Brothers who killed Ethan Lemming stomped on his chest, broke his neck, and took his car, acquitted of involuntary manslaughter charges.
How is that involuntary?
That seems very voluntary to me.
I just can't imagine being that kid's parents.
That's so fucked.
Hey, if a Republican gets in, are they going to let out all the January 6th people?
What's that called?
When you wave there, the president can do it.
He absolves you of your sins.
Puts holy water on you.
He says...
Pardon. Presidential pardon.
Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. He says, uh... Pardon. Presidential pardon. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.
Jesus.
Thank you. Thank you.
This is a great name.
Rodney Jackson. Can't we all just get along?
Where's Rodney?
Sure.
Why not?
Our buddy Joe. The great white hope joe biden
joey joey joey
it's so ridiculous they're in jail i agree christine it's so fucking insane here we go
uh oh couple joes here we go
we go uh oh couple joes here we go white house press secretary lady got busted tweeting as biden stupid the worst white house press secretary lady ever but she got caught tweeting as biden
i mean on her account she forgot to switch accounts no yes oh jesus you didn't see that no
uh investing in america means investing in all america when i
ran for president i made a promise that i would leave no part of the country behind like
no so she's treating you as the president but now we know who writes that stuff
yes the white house press hey but we've always known he didn't write it it's just weird that
it went to her account, right?
I mean, like, he's not doing his tweets, obviously.
He's not doing a lot of the things that he's reported that he's doing.
I can't tell how to process that.
If I'm supposed to be like, yeah, no, duh, Joe, or like, yeah, that chick's a dumb bitch.
Fuck the administration.
They're fake as fuck.
I don't know how to process that. I don don't know i guess somebody has to run that account but
uh what yeah someone has to run it right yeah or not or not greg didn't do an account greg
didn't do it greg just did like one tweet in his life floyd 19 just that one that's it
just did like one tweet in his life floyd 19 just that one that's it um just tuning in did you see that they had to evacuate the white house because of a palestinian protester some might say an
insurrection of sorts how is anyone still a democrat? I did see the...
I didn't know Trump put it out.
Clive McLaughlin.
Seve, did you see the White House retirement home advert?
I didn't know Trump put that out, but I saw that.
It's pretty funny.
Pro-Palestinian protester chant,
Fuck Joe Biden, damage fence outside White House.
Dude, shoot them.
You cannot damage the fence outside the white house insane
dude insane open the water cannons dude you sure they weren't just chanting let's go brandon
no no one's sure of anything i just don't understand how you can get away with that how they're not there's all those
places to protest like just step five feet away from the fence dude it's all good second you
touch the fence just turn on the electricity full blast electric chair style you know what i mean
touch the fence you just fucking like you ever seen those videos of like an indian dude on a
train and he touches the third wire and he's just fucking gone.
You ever seen that shit like that?
Genocide, Joe. Jesus. OK. genocide joe jesus okay uh vagina comedy
jr uh yeah vagina comedy here we go
Brace yourself.
Because you don't know, Asher. You don't fucking know.
In the 80s, women had a full bush down there.
A full bush.
80s, full bush.
90s, landing strip.
2000s, bald.
2023, cock.
Hey, he just went straight from 2000 to 2023.
Just made the leap.
Yeah.
It went from landing strip to just
cock. Or no, bald.
It went bald.
Hey, and there's my theory bald. It went bald. Bald.
Hey, and there's my theory again.
There's my theory again.
Like, you dudes out there who like a fucking bald pussy,
just, like, have a talk with yourself.
Just think for a second.
Just think.
Just trip on yourself a little bit.
Go for a walk.
Be really harsh to yourself.
Be like, what's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me?
Why do I want a laser aimed at my chick's pussy, removing each hair follicle?
What's wrong with me?
And you know what?
Maybe you'll come out on the other side and be like, seven he's a fucking idiot i like bald pussy that's just the
way it is see look at i bought look at audrey i like bald pussy though yeah but maybe
but just explore it don't be afraid just explore it maybe you'll be like you know what
i like that shit all natural, wild.
You're right.
I like that shit wild.
Look at Frodo.
Look at.
Wait, bald is bad because what?
Why do they have to?
Why do they?
Why does everyone have to go through all these changes
Geez look at this
Ursulu
You
I think she's talking to you
Caleb
Should update the twitch channel
Profile pic banner bio and stuff I so agree with you I would Caleb should update the Twitch channel profile, pick banner,
buy on stuff.
I so agree with you.
I would,
if I could figure out the password and login information for it.
I don't even know.
Twitch is like a crazy popular platform too,
right?
Fucking those are the dudes who follow Danny Spiegel.
They come from Twitch.
Yeah.
If they also like to watch people play video games.
No, uh, Clive, uh, Sebibi you got to take that belief to an extreme leg hair armpits i mean let me tell you i'm not perfect i i like like i am not i have not fully accepted my
counterpart uh woman i still have i'm i've slipped into the tranny realm a little bit. I like, uh, I do like a smooth shave legs and a shaved armpits.
And, and, you know, like as much as I make fun of earrings, I like nice earrings.
Like, um, so like I got, I got, I got some work to do.
I got some work to do.
And listen, like, I don't, um, you know, you know, the, I think the bush should still fit
inside of the bathing suit. I don't think it know, I think the bush should still fit inside of the bathing suit.
I don't think it should be like creeping outside the bathing suit.
I don't think it should be breaching the border.
Sorry, go ahead, Caleb.
Imagine watching Wadapalooza where they're all swimming and you just got, and it's just bush.
Like just like, like bush.
Scott and it's just Bush like just like like Bush hey let me tell you if there was a really cool chick like that what there's a couple chicks who could do it like that chick who was on the demo
team last year like that would be crazy if she put a carpet in her bathing suit so it was like
hanging out the sides or like you designed a woman's bathing what if there was a woman's
bathing suit that's like a gag bathing suit that has pubic hair just hanging out the sides you
know what I mean attached to the bathing suit do you think they have that a gag bikini bottom with like hair hanging out
the sides or like a string it just has a string hanging out the side absolutely gag gag female
pube bathing suit so i'm gonna sell toothpaste and gag bathing suits yeah look at david weed knows he's like yeah here we go this is by the way this is this is
how innovation occurs we're in a brainstorming session for new products i appreciate you guys
oh yeah heidi this is fucking brilliant listen to this caleb i'll read this to you while you're
searching or we could just do shorts like guys fuck that's yeah sure how do girls even wear
thongs i was looking at victoria campos wow holy shit wow not the... Man, that is offensive.
You really have to have an amazing body to wear that.
I should send you some, Chris, some demo toothpaste.
I got a bunch of demos, little jars of the demo.
It's so good.
Everyone,
every,
my kids love it.
Every,
everyone I know who's tried it is like,
holy shit,
this is amazing.
It's not charcoal.
My teeth are white as shit.
I don't do anything but rush my teeth.
Okay,
here,
this is a great example.
This just got posted.
Imagine this with Bush that's fucking Emily Rolfe
yeah
the fact she doesn't have a million followers is insane
wet and wild
I don't like that bathing suit bottom
you're in the minority
really absolutely i would have it just have a little more thread and be a little wider
yeah no that's not happening so it went right to her quad no no
yeah under under do you remember, like, five years ago,
there was no under boob.
Now under boob is all the rage.
Side boob and under boob.
It used to be like, oh, shit, does that girl know
that her boob is hanging out the bottom or the side?
And now it's like...
Now nobody will say anything
because that's all they want to look at.
Yeah.
I may have to change my rules around IG now.
Okay.
Thank you, Emily Rolfe.
Yeah, that's crazy.
That picture is surreal.
I wonder who the photographer was. I looked to see who the photographer was.
I couldn't even tell.
Flashlight Fitness.
How do I know I'm gay?
Because I wanted to see who the photographer was.
It's okay.
Gay is good.
I don't even know what his name is.
So he's like, hey, well, her boobs look huge.
Indeed.
Maybe she's pregnant.
Are you pregnant? Why do I look fat?
No, your tits are huge.
Okay. No, I don't think her boobs are fake.
I don't think they are.
Do you think they are? Do you think they are?
You think she has implants?
Those are real.
Yeah.
Oh, Ken, it's a lap.
Wow, that's not pregnant, maybe just ovulating.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Fair enough. Okay, the injection.
Man, we're cruising today.
Yeah, met our goal already.
Cruising.
No, did we?
Oh, yeah, wow.
Oh, we got to the vagina comedy.
Okay, here we go. comedy okay here we go okay here we go actually
i haven't gotten it yet but like it's weird because i've never been skeptical of vaccines
and the harder they try to push it the more skeptical i get like i was all on board with
it you know like they had a measles vaccine i was like yeah i'll get that then it came out with a
tetanus vaccine i'm like yeah i'll get that it a lyme disease vaccine i was like i'll get that
they came out the covid vaccine i'm like yeah i'll get that like come'll Lyme disease vaccine. I was like, I'll get that. And they came out with the COVID vaccine. I'm like, yeah, I'll get that. They're like, come on, we'll give you free donuts
and your rights back. I'm like, all right, relax. I said, I'd get it. I'll go to my doctor. They're
like, no, don't go to your doctor. Just come to Dodger Stadium. We'll give it to you in a van in
the parking lot. Honestly, all Joe Biden has to do to get me to get the vaccine is to go 24 hours
without telling me to get the vaccine. I've literally been on my way out the door to go to
CVS to get the vaccine. And then Joe Biden pops on the TV and goes, you better get the vaccine. I've literally been on my way out the door to go to CVS to get the vaccine, and then Joe Biden pops on the
TV and goes, you better get the vaccine, and I'm like, nope,
something's up.
I want to get the COVID vaccine.
Dude, Dodger
Stadium.
The more and more I hear about it, it's just
bizarre.
Can't have to laugh. I love how quickly COVID
became a joke.
You mean three years later.
Seve, have you watched anything from Shane Gillis?
No, who's that?
Of course I've watched Shane Gillis.
How dare you?
You don't even have a name that I can say.
I can't even talk to you.
You're just a...
How dare you.
I bet you if Susie lived next door to me,
I would,
like,
I never go up to my neighbor's fence,
but I bet you if she lived next door to me,
I would,
I would like go up to like to the fence more often and talk to her.
I'd probably like holding a bottle of tequila in two cups.
Want some?
Like home improvement style?
Dude.
Can I just say,
of course you can, you can just say of course,
being able to wake up and listen and read comments
and follow you guys is the best way to start the day.
Nothing like some bush talk.
Yeah, like that.
My neighbor called yesterday five minutes before I was going to go on the air and he's like, hey, can I come over?
I'm like, yeah, sure.
What's up?
He's like, there's a hole in the fence that has to be fixed from your side.
He's got this.
He has like five dogs and I have a dog and they just hate each other.
And my dog is my dog scratched a hole
in the fence with a borable
oh my god
yeah
what do you mean I didn't
understand the home improvement reference
why not I didn't watch that
show but everyone knows about that the guy
that you never but everyone knows about that. The guy that you never see, everyone knows it. travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need
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All right.
The president has a son named Hunter.
Thank you.
Thank you, Daniel.
He stands corrected.
Nothing better than proving someone wrong.
Start my day.
One of my colleagues, one of my friends, one of my acquaintances is in this video.
I texted him the other day to ask him if he'd come on the show.
He hasn't responded.
I should text him again.
Okay, here we go.
Please, I'll answer your question if you'd be quiet and let me make a statement.
How many crack do you normally smoke, Mr. Biden? Let me start again. Hunter! Here we go. Please, I'll answer your question. If you'd be quiet and let me make a statement.
How many crack do you normally smoke, Mr. Biden?
Let me start again.
Hunter!
Are you on crack today?
Hey, pause, pause.
That guy next to Hunter right there in the purple suit that dude
was the lawyer
is the lawyer
for Trey Parker and
Seth
fucking I don't know his name
the South Park dudes
and when he signed the I don't know his name. The South Park dudes.
And when he signed the deal for them with Comedy Central, it was before people were streaming shit on the internet.
There was Netflix.
That shit wasn't around.
like net there was like netflix like that shit wasn't around so he had in the deal trey and the other dude
matt stone is that his name dick okay matt stone he had that dude keep all the rights he had the
south park dudes a trey and matt able to keep all the digital rights to south park and so-called
comedy central owned it like the i guess a lot of it they own the digital rights and so when
when that shit moved to digital they were selling fucking like 13 seasons to netflix for like three
years for like five billion dollars like crazy money people i'm not even exaggerating crazy money and they released a play on broadway that mormon play
that thing i think was like the most successful play in the history of broadway that thing made
hundreds of millions and millions and this dude this dude in the purple suit right here got a huge cut
i want to say you can find on the internet it's like over 400 million dollars anyway
i've been to his house a bunch of times cool cool dude i really enjoyed hanging out with him
but richer than a fucking god of fucking God.
That's it.
He's closer to all of you than you think, too.
That's all I'm going to say for now.
There you go.
All right. Action.
Oh.
Yeah, let's do more.
Let's do more.
Oh, yeah. Wait. Hold on.
Best part of Book of Mormon. Church advertises in the playbill. You've seen the play. Now read the book.
No, thanks.
Why did you put your dad on speakerphone if he had nothing to do with your business?
You put him on speakerphone multiple times to talk to your business partners.
Why did you do that?
Do you have a dad?
Did he call you?
Yes.
Did he answer the phone?
Yes.
Okay.
But why did you need to talk to him
during business meetings
if he had nothing to do with your business?
Well, you're dangerous. You're very dangerous. You're the epitome of white privilege coming into the oversight committee, spitting in our face, ignoring a congressional subpoena to be deposed.
What are you afraid of?
You have no balls to come up here.
Mr. Chairman, point of inquiry.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
This fucking bitch says white.
Why is she saying white
you're the epitome of white privilege
no he's the epitome
of the victim class
this Nancy Macy chick
is that bitch a republican
kick her the fuck out
and then she says she has no balls
how dare she
sounds sexist as fuck
Nancy Macy
she was hot right
yeah she's pretty effective yeah if you're an old chick she was hot i want to look her up real
quick nancy i want to see what she is nancy macy oh god i didn't what is she? U.S. representative. Do I have her name wrong?
M-A-C-E.
Oh, Nancy Mace. Okay, yeah, thank you.
God, I got some ugly fucking...
Yeah, she's hot.
The epitome of white privilege.
See, that shit scares me.
That's when their fucking woke talk
has seeped into the fucking vernacular.
It's not okay to say that.
She's a Republican.
I'm going to have her on the show and ask her
to stop saying that.
Hey, can you stop
saying white privilege?
All right. Those are some great questions what's your favorite kind of crack oh is she the lady that was vaccine injured god i wouldn't that be a hoot
white privilege didn't save her from that Oh yes yes yes
Yep
She is
Good call
Douche
Nancy Macy details own health complications
From COVID vaccine during Twitter hearing
I have great regrets about getting the shot because of the health issues I now have that I think are never going to go away.
I find it extremely alarming Twitter's unfettered censorship spread into medical fields.
Oh, yeah, the Twitter hearings.
Interesting.
I wonder if she says what happened to her.
All right.
Yeah, don't do drugs people Don't do drugs especially if they're being
Injected to you at Dodger Stadium
Sean Sullivan
That woman Nancy Mace is a piece
Of shit she's using the left's language
And yes she's a Republican but really a Democrat
Alright Yes, she's a Republican, but really a Democrat.
All right.
Where are we?
Are we still doing a show?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Masks.
Masks.
Here we go.
Masks.
Just cruising today. Masks. Here we go. Masks. Just cruising today.
Cruising.
God, I love all the comedy today.
Don't you?
Very light. It's good. I like it.
Yeah, look at... Hey, hold on. Hold on.
See this guy's shirt right here?
Is that on purpose?
I don't know.
Is that his costume? Sure. Yep yep let's just say it's his
costume this guy has a jeans on with a shirt on that's so small that his you can see his fat
um between his pants and his stomach
okay cross fat says it has to be okay fine it's is that under boob god wouldn't that be
awesome if that was um
as sexy to women
um
under boob is to men
that's the dad bod that's what chicks
dig these days
uh Sean Sullivan wow
and she voted against a bill that would have stopped vaccine mandates wow
yeah she's a douche
all right here we go are you sick man
are you are you wearing that for safety or just to let everybody know who you're voting for?
I think she's laughing.
I can't tell.
Thank you for coming despite your everything about you. Damn.
Despite everything about you.
Just the facts.
Just the facts.
Only the facts, please. Just the facts Just the facts Only the facts please
Just the facts
Or not
Or yes
Just the facts please
Okay here we go
Dang you guys are lucky today
That's all I gotta say
Look at this guy
What is this guy?
What ethnicity is this guy?
Listen Listen carefully to this this is one everyone should take with them
this is what you
an hour and ten minutes into the show
this is what you want to just remind
all the fucking libtards out there
every fucking idiot
do you remember that comedian
it's not even a comedian, do you remember that guy
who goes out in the wild and he talks to people and he asked the lady he's like
hey uh this is the greatest country in the world and the lady's like no it's not and the lady's
like it's definitely not the greatest country and the guy's like for sure it is it's the greatest
country in the world and she's like no not there's countries that are greater and he's like we'll
name one and she's like sweden and he's like countries that are greater. And he's like, well, name one. And she's like Sweden.
And he's like, oh, you mean that country that's strictly run by white men?
And she's like, oh, fuck.
Remember that?
The country that's better is strictly run by white men.
And she's like, well, this is this is like that, but better this this one.
You just have to really let this one soak in.
Maybe we'll play this one twice.
Can we play this one twice, Caleb?
Sure.
All right.
Caleb says twice is fine.
Here we go.
People always say, how can you love America?
It's a racist country.
It's like, well, hold on.
Every country is racist.
Why do you think every country is a country?
Like every country exists because for the entirety of history
they've been like, hey we like us and we don't like you so you can't come in. But
America gets all the blame because we're the one country that's never been like, hey we
don't like you but come in. Everyone's like, you gotta go to Sweden, there's no racism
in Sweden. Yeah, because everyone's fucking Swedish.
Pretty easy not to be racist when you don't give yourself the option.
All these other countries being mad at America for being racist. That's like a girl who's a virgin being mad at a girl for having herpes.
You haven't even let anyone in.
How do you know you won't catch this virus?
Hey, where do you think is more racist?
Iran or the United States?
Where do you think is more racist?
Mexico or the United States?
Where do you think is more racist?
Fucking Iraq or the United States?
Where do you think is more racist?
Fucking Argentina or the United States?
Where do you think is more racist?
Sweden or the United States?
Fuck, I hate libtards
sorry i shouldn't hate anyone i take that back strike that from the record
so fucking annoying the lack of context hey that's how everyone ended up with the injection too
the inability to do any context or relativity in their own mind
we have these fucking idiots in this country who are going to ruin how great this fucking place is.
And you know what?
I hate to bring it back to this, but that's kind of that's why Danny Spiegel is so nauseating because that's what she stands for.
Like, dude, everything's so good.
You're at the top of your fucking game.
You don't even have to win
you suck at crossfit relative to the field and you still have the most attention and the most
followers and you're still complaining because you're upset because andrew iller made a video
about me that says i can't squat below parallel shut the fuck up it's so good god life is good
man
got my own toothpaste
don't have to put on shoes
I only have to worry about wearing shirts
that have three letters on them
got a huge dong
tomorrow I'm going to Kaiser
to get my mole looked at
what'd they say?
I took a picture of it and I sent it to the doctor
And they gave me an auto response saying that the picture wasn't
I'm pushing on it now
Ever since you asked me does it puss or hurt
I always push on it
It doesn't hurt
It's pointy though and dry
So I have to go there i sent this picture with the
iphone and they sent this this letter back to me basically saying hey the picture is not good
enough so i called them and i'm like hey motherfucker i'm a professional photographer
and like this fucking picture is amazing i can see you saw the picture i sent it to you
it's a great picture yeah you can see every hair follicle and she's like well i don't know i'm just
i'm like yeah it's just a form letter. I know.
Okay, fine.
So I made an appointment.
I'm going into – they have a – look up telederm.
There's a camera that they have that's called a telederm.
I haven't looked it up yet.
And so I'm getting teledermed tomorrow, teledermed.
I should take some of my toothpaste and just brush that on my mole and see if it goes away.
Then I can say it cured my mole.
How do you get rid of zits?
They're going to.
What's this?
Sebheratic.
This guy's fondle just diagnosed me.
Sebheratic keratosis. Fuck you. I don't got that. diagnosed. Fondle just diagnosed me. Seb, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her Send me some boob milk. I'll rub boob milk on it.
Did you see a Telederm camera?
Yeah, it's not really very... Telederm, when I pull it up, it says...
It's basically like telemedicine, like an e-visit.
Oh.
Oh, what is a Telederm photo?
Secure digital platform that allows patients to share photos and videos
with a dermatologist for remote assessment.
Oh,
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
And you know what they told me there in the email,
it says,
come in and get your,
let us take a picture of it.
It's free.
This is great.
Using a worse camera than the one that you just,
and you sent them a
picture with oh Jesus
oh Jesus they just take it
so they can stare at it for another
two hours and determine something after you've
gone I know
what he's gonna say to I'm gonna go in there and they're
gonna be like yeah that is a worse camera than the
camera I use the dude the macro
capabilities of the iPhone 15
are insane.
Hey, when she takes the picture, I'm going to be like, hey, can you take one with my iPhone
too?
Yeah, it's close. Trigger
alert. It's getting close.
Ow, ow. I just scratched it. I just rubbed it too hard
darn it
it's like
it's not like round big
but it's like sticking out big
yeah
and it feels dry
I'm getting sick thinking about going to the doctor.
So, so in the note they sent to me, it says, Oh,
and it's come in and get your telederm visit. It's free. Oh, thanks.
They're going to give you a donut while you're there too.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, probably. This is, look at, this is true.
What Philip said, Kaiser doctors,
just type your symptoms into their computer
and see what Kaiser allows them to prescribe for you.
Exactly.
That's all doctors.
It's not just Kaiser.
Is it irregular and different from the others near it?
I don't even have any others.
That's the only one I got.
I had one on my thigh and I went to the doctor to show it to him
and he said it was nothing.
And then when I was doing, when I was doing that shitload of fasting before the games,
it went away.
Anyway, I'll tell you guys.
Oh no.
So, so I go Tuesday and then I probably won't see you guys Wednesday.
That sucks. I won't be able to...
Well, there won't be anything to report anyway.
It takes like a week or something for them to get back to you.
And then I know what they're going to do.
They're going to tell me to come in, and they're going to scrape it off,
and then they're going to send it for a biopsy, right?
Yep.
Cool. They just did it right there.
They could. It's not a long procedure.
Just stick a needle in. Should I have any issues with them scraping it off
with a razor blade
no
they're just gonna they'll probably give you some lidocaine
injections real quick like around it
and they'll take like a razor blade
and just shave it off
hmm
lance it and send it to a lab lancet no it doesn't hurt it doesn't hurt oh it doesn't hurt when they
cut it off sean it will hurt a lot well fuck i wish i wouldn't have told you guys
how deep is it is it it depends on how oh it depends on how deep it is
Oh, it depends on how deep it is.
They will free spray it.
No, they won't.
I had one frozen off once.
Did it work?
Yeah.
Many years ago, it was like,
it was like, you know who did,
I told you the story about the doctor who touched my dick with his hand and didn't put a glove on?
Yeah.
That was at Kaiser and Vallejo. i had a mole i had like this bump like in between the my belly button
and the base of my penis and this is i was probably 25 and i showed to him and it was
it was tiny and he put something cold on it and then like later on it fell off
i bet you a lot of you guys can't say that
some random guy fucking touched your dick
fucking
pivotal life changing moment for me
and then ever since then
I stopped jacking off to Instagram
this was an interesting article i saw that um it said that a 10 it said 11 000
new zealand politicians and elite got covid vaccine exemptions and i was like oh that's
interesting why would 11 000 politicians and elite elite in New Zealand get vaccine exemptions? So I clicked on it and I started surfing around and it was one of those things that they said is fake news.
It's not real.
But as you look into it further, you realize it's not the politicians that got the fucking exemption.
It was medical workers.
But it's so crazy because when you fact check it it just
says false they don't tell you well no it wasn't politicians in the elite it was fucking medical
workers you have to fucking dig around 11 000 politicians and elites received an exemption
for the coveted vaccination this is shocking that's what was reported and then here they tell you the story's false but then you look as if this is better let me start by pointing out that the approximately
11 000 covid 19 vaccine exemptions issued by the new zealand new zealand health agency
were given to people on health related work that doesn't make me feel better i'm not like oh shoot it wasn't politicians and elite
what the fuck is elite what does what i'm elite so what i like i i'm elite what is that bad so what
all those who received 12a exemptions per the previous response were in the health-related work.
Matt Hanat also said that those COVID-19 vaccine exemptions were to keep health care services running.
What do you mean to keep them running?
You don't get the injection to keep it running?
I thought you took the injection to keep it running. I thought the whole point of the
injection was to keep you healthy. Health services that applied for these exemptions had to show that
there were no other options to keep their services running and that they had done all they could to
protect against COVID-19 transmission. That makes no sense to me.
What am I missing here? I thought you took the injection to protect yourself so that you could
keep running. I thought that's why we gave it to fat people and black people first, because they
were marginalized and more susceptible. So we gave it to them first. That's why like white,
healthy strapping lads like yourself, Caleb, had to wait till the end.
That's right.
But now they're saying that the people that they wanted to keep safe,
they didn't give it to.
How do libtards process this?
That's what I want to know.
Like, I know the whole thing's a scam,
so I'm like, I get it. It's just more more fucking confusing shit i just throw it into the pile of nonsense
but how does a libtard process it aren't they like wait this uh this does not come
how are how are they reconciling all the information they have how do they put this
in there with that information or do they just see false and they're like. This is just right wing propaganda.
I knew it.
False.
Bizarro world.
Someone said to me the other day.
I fucking checkmated their ass.
And they're like but you're not a doctor.
Like yeah I know.
Thank you.
But you're not a doctor.
Yeah, because your doctor cares more about your kids than you do.
Right.
Got it.
Harvard. do right got it harvard i love it when people go on cnn and fuck their dudes up hey did you see don lemon the cnn scumbag uh the the gay black dude who was pushing the vaccine and just fucking
tearing anyone up who didn't take it and then got fired for being racist when he was his last interview was was was
with vivek ramaswamy and he said that basically he said uh he was saying that vivek was white
splaining um uh he's now on x and he's like i think he's flipped the script he's like i love
freedom of speech when before he was like all full censorship when he was on CNN.
Jedediah Snelson.
You're right.
I'm not a doctor.
I have common sense.
Vivek.
Is it Vivek?
Vivek?
Vivek?
No, don't. Please don't start on Sevan's mole IG account.
I really don't.
The barn's cool.
The mole's stressing me out.
Don't fuck with my mole.
My mole is off limits, guys.
That's part of my private life.
How about Sevan that doesn't jack off on ig account
not as funny as the mole account cnn's abby phillips tried to get her guest to say claudine
gay was fired because of racism but her plan blows up in her face as he refuses to bite
so you don't think there was anything um about this that had to do with the fact
that she was a Black woman from the people who were claiming this as a victory against DEI,
diversity, equity, and inclusion? I don't think it did. And you know what? Even if it did,
that doesn't justify it. If you or I did this, or even any white scholar, it would be career-ending to have 50 examples of plagiarism.
And it has to be, because how can you be the one upholding Harvard's integrity when you yourself have failed?
It's as if the commissioner of the Major League Baseball, or the NBA, had a lifelong history of steroid use
and was now the person in charge of kicking other people out for steroid use.
It's completely untenable. And well, my question about the internal Harvard review that you seem
to think was a very rigorous process is how did they only find what four or five examples of it
when there were 50, almost 50 to find? And plagiarism, it's not like true crime where
there's a million perspectives on it you kind of either lifted the
paragraph or you didn't yeah it is a blow against di did you see what happened here i can't remember
the guy's name but there's this billionaire jew and he donates money to harvard and he said i'm
not donating money anymore i think his last name's Ackerman
no what is it I forget what it is and someone at Harvard reported that his wife they found
this billionaire's wife's old papers and they said hey your wife plagiarized
so you know what he's Bill Ackman oh Bill Ackman I think it's this guy and so you know what he's bill ackman oh bill ackman i think it's this guy and so you know what he's
doing he's using fucking ai to go through every single fucking harvard professor's
fucking dissertations and phd papers to see how many people at Harvard. Have plagiarized.
Damn.
You want to fuck with my life.
A wife.
I'll bring down your whole fucking school.
That's incredible.
Oh cross that.
He tried to take down Herbalife.
And he funded the truck driving around.
The pro-Palestinian students' names on it, too.
Damn. Oh, shit.
He ran her resignation speech through it and caught some plagiarism.
Damn.
Even on the way out, her resignation speech has plagiarism
it's fucking amazing
that's great
can't wait to tell Greg that
he probably already knows
he knows fucking everything
what's this a gold bar bribery excuse me
oh that's great this should be fun senator mendez charged with receiving gifts from Qatar, a new allegation in corruption scheme.
Uh-oh. Here we go.
Hey, isn't this guy in the news
a lot for stealing shit? Federal prosecutors
alleged Senator Bob
Menendez accepted race car tickets
and other gifts from Qatar as part
of a year-long corruption scheme.
With the Gulf nation joining Egypt
and another foreign country, the New Jersey
Democrat is accused of helping while in office.
Where's the gold bar?
Let me see this gold bar.
He's pleaded not guilty to the charges.
Vigorously denied any wrongdoing.
Oh, shit. oh shit after davey's provided mendez with a gold bar according to the indictment the same
month following the meeting between the senator davey's and the two qatari officials qatari
investment fund signed a letter of intent to enter into a joint venture with davey's company
what a fucking scumbag this guy is he got a few nice watches too oh and i've seen his wife type in his wife oh i know who this is
hey hillar hillar said it's always the dudes who have the hottest wives uh who are on the juice or
i think he has some like old hoochie mama yeah that, that's what it is. Old. I think. Yeah, he's got this.
On the old CrossFit podcast, I used to have this doctor on all the time.
Yeah.
Look at this guy's wife.
Jesus Christ.
And he do think of guitar.
He set that up, too.
Yeah, for sure.
There was this anesthesiologist I knew
and he told me that there's a size of boobs
that are called money makers
and like you just know
like if a woman gets this size
then her boobs are for making money
and that's what that lady had
money makers
he said it was just known I said really a hundred percent he goes a hundred
percent he says the boobs reach a certain size and then you know that they're like directly like
they make money they're for making money
no not her it was the anesthesiologist was a guy
but i know some girls who have money makers
i know i've known girls who have like 60 000 followers on instagram and get
the money makers and then immediately go up to like 600 000
i don't know if this is all chicks with fake tits do it for money
question mark i i don't know about that i don't think so
i think they have some internal dialogue
i don't know i'm not going there right now uh we talked did we talk about turbo cancers
meanwhile oh how about this meanwhile in Africa?
Oh, I think we did that.
That shows the woman getting beat up with a kid on her back.
Yeah.
Here we go.
In case you're into women's rights a full ride scholarship oh now we've now we've
run out of uh we've run out of comedy now we're on this show's taking a dark turn back to politics
yeah is this i don't know if this is is this politics now biological male given one of only
12 full female volleyball scholarships to the University of Washington.
Teenage boy Tate Dragset received a female-only scholarship to UW by his license.
Seattle, Washington.
If Marty McFly's DeLorean time machine had transported him into the year of 2023 instead of back in time,
he probably would have thought he landed on a different planet.
What else would someone from the 1980s think when they discovered a college granted a female volleyball scholarship to a biological male?
A male volleyball player apparently snuck his way into a full woman's athletic
scholarship to the university of Washington after concealing his biological
sex since 12.
God, that seems like a lot of work.
All of a sudden, just going to the doctor and getting a set of fake tits seems easy. What about this this is a really interesting point cross fat parents went to jail for faking
their kids go uh for faking their kids going to college for sports they don't play but this kid
gets a scholarship for playing a woman's sport that's really interesting you can do all these
things and get in trouble you know like parents who are like buying SATs and like parents saying like, hey, my kid was the greatest whatever sailor on the sailing team at high school.
And so they get a scholarship to the college.
But this dude can say he's a dude.
They're a girl.
Man. Man, oh, man. man
man oh man
you know my rant about how there's no such thing as mexicans
yes how about how about this one there were there were there aztecs there's no such thing as Mexicans? Yes. How about this one?
Were there Aztecs?
There were no Aztecs.
This guy's stealing my fucking thunder.
This guy's even going back
further. He's like, fuck you, there weren't even any
Aztecs.
God damn it. He's ruining my...
If his story's true, then my story's not even
close to true anymore.
Here we go.
There was never a
population of people who call themselves the Aztecs. They call themselves the Mexica, M-E-X-I-C-A,
which looks shockingly like Mexico because that's where we themselves the Aztecs.
They said they were from Aztlan, A-T-I-C-A-N. It looks like Mexican. And they
couldn't differentiate them between pre-Columbian Mexico and post-Columbian Mexico. And so they came up with a new term
and EC on the end of something indicates
that you're a people.
So they took Aslan,
the place that the Aztecs said they were from
and made Aztec so that they could get away
from using Mexica.
Hey, you know what?
So that's a little hard to follow, but basically that's,
they were conflating Mexican was nationality and ethnicity.
And so they were struggling with that to differentiate that in their papers.
So they just made up the word Aztec to denote the people who were from the
land of Aslan.
Hey, you know, it's crazy.
That's exact.
And when he says a college in what's crazy that's exact and when he says college in the northeast that's um harvard
it's fucking amazing look at cave dastardly he's like hey that but that's exactly what
happened in palestine in 1964 too there were no such palestinian was a nationality and then
they in 64 they made it an ethnicity to trick the people.
Easier to manipulate ethnicity than nationality, I'm guessing.
I mean, both can be manipulated, but.
Sorry.
Big Baca's with Cave Dastro.
Total snooze fest.
Yeah, I know. with uh cave dastro total uh snooze fest yeah i know anytime it requires more than uh 64 iq points i know i lose uh 10 of you i totally get it fucking works maximum intellectual capacity
taxed and uh and you kind of tune out you have insulin response
fair enough okay we get to go back to dumb shit again oh how about Tatum what's this Tatum
Tatum Tatum Tatum Oh, this is all the rave right now.
Have you seen these?
Yeah.
Yeah, these are all the rave.
I've seen a bunch of these.
Okay, here we go.
I'm a black liberal.
Of course I'm a pro for the Democrats,
although they've done nothing for black people.
I'm a black liberal.
Although I'm the CEO of a seven-figure company,
of course I'm a big fan.
I'm a black liberal. I hate racism ceo of the seventh favorite company of course i'm a big fan i'm a black liberal i hate racism except if it's against the jews free palestine i'm a black liberal now i know growing up in the hood that all the people selling drugs were black and all
the crime is black on black violence of course it's the white man's fault though i'm a black
liberal although i've done my research and more white people are in poverty more white people people are on food stamps, more white people get killed by police, twice as many white people.
A white privilege is definitely real.
I'm a black liberal with no evidence whatsoever. Of course, I think the cops are going to kill me for no reason.
I'm a black liberal. Although I'm married to a white woman, of course, the white man is the enemy. I'm a black liberal. And'm married to a white woman of course the white man is the enemy I'm a black liberal
what kind of car was that
is that a Mercedes
I think it was an Aston Martin
god that thing sounded nice
yeah it was beautiful
those are nice cars
oh look at these two
look at these two dudes just fucking loving on each other
right now uh big baka i know
you're smart
that's cute
that is cool it's nice
i like this i like to see that
i love i love i love walking in on
someone getting fluffed
i love being fluffed.
I love being fluffed myself.
All right.
I got nothing.
What's this?
Not.
I think I found some more comedy.
Oh, here we go.
Here's a comedian.
It's above 378. It says funny but worth saying you see that yeah
not funny but worth saying okay here we go
i'm kind of mad as a black guy, yeah, but I've come to the realization that I'd much
rather deal with racists than listen to woke white people.
All woke people in here, thanks for your help, I appreciate it.
At the same time, you lot are like mad annoying, you know what I mean?
I think these woke people are like unnecessarily annoying.
I'll give you examples.
One time I'm at this party, I'm minding my own business, I'm dancing at this party.
And this middle class white girl comes up to me and she goes,
I just want you to know that you matter.
Now you've got to understand, obviously I'm a nice guy
So I just said thank you
But then in my head I'm thinking
No wonder OJ did it
You know what I mean
372
When dad finds god
When dad When papa finds god 372, when dad finds God.
When dad, when papa finds God.
Uh-oh, I don't even know this one.
Now I'm just digging in.
Here we go.
When a mother comes to faith,
there's seven, oh, here we go. It says, when a mother comes to faith,
there's a 17% chance the kids will follow
When a father comes to faith, there's a 93% chance that his family will follow
Why do you think there's such a huge attack on masculinity these days? Okay, here we go. Play.
Interesting, right?
You think that's true? You think those numbers are true?
Mom starts following God and only 17% of the kids follow.
Dad starts following God, so 93%
rate the whole family jumps on board.
Maybe. follow dad starts following god's 93 rate the whole family jumps on board maybe for those of you who are new here and like well why would you follow god why do you need religion
hey man people need values that's the whole thing for those of you on the right who don't
understand what happens the left has no values or morals they don't they don't even but it's
worse than that they don't even know what they. They don't they don't understand what values and morals are. The second they start talking about values and morals, they kind of just go to sleep but they don't have values or morals you have to understand that everything is just in in uh pseudo intellectual nonsense all the shit flipping around
in their mind they rename shit they're like pupa they're not even real flies they're like larva
they're like but it's women's rights or it's reproductive rights or they make some shit up
they come up with these ideas like gender like it's all just
stuff in their head they're not out here they're not like like we're out there being like oh my
god they just sucked the baby out of the woman the body parts are flying everywhere that's definitely
killing the baby they're not doing that they don't they don't even see like that so they have no
morals and values so that when weak when people like uh like me when you're a libtard and you fucking finally turn from a pooper into a fly, you're like – it happens and you pick up some values and morals.
And you start living by values.
It was like – I liked it the way Sarah Sigmund's daughter explained to me.
When you have values, it's something that no one can take away from you.
And like you can really be truthful too.
You can change your values but it's it's like it's like an important part of a healthy person's identity that they
have values let's say you know you're a healthy human being because you start having values you've
like matured into into the next level and they just don't even have that they don't have values or morals they just they can't even
they they can't they said when you use those words they go unconscious that
yeah they want compliance maybe that's one way of saying it
it's uh it's it's fat it's fascinating so
Seve what do you think will happen at the Iowa caucus today
I don't know I should be following that more closely I haven't been following that
I saw the headlines that Trump was beating up
Vivek and I read some stuff that Vivek says he's not going to fight back
so so yeah sorry et so so uh going back to that so the the fact is is that when i think of
religious people i don't i don't worry when you're on the left you're like fuck they're so weird they
believe in god and they get all flipped out
and I understand I used to be like that but now
that I'm I've graduated from that
fucking simpleton mindset I see
people with religion like oh shit those are people
with values that's all I think they're people with
values and morals
regardless of whatever
religion you are and those were morals
and values were bestowed upon you by
whatever your higher power
is all right that's it thanks
oh maybe here's one more 344 where's his mom and dad oh that page is gone
it's always weird when pages vanish
oh how about this how about this uh 343 one moreTF. 343.
I like this girl's face.
I hope she's cool.
I hope she doesn't say anything stupid.
What is 15 times 4?
15 times 4.
Gosh.
It's 28. It's 23.
48. 48. 48. Gosh! 28, 30, 36, 27, 28, 38, 49, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 64, 62, 62, 62, 62, 62, 62, 63, 62, 62, 63, 62, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, 65, 65, 65, 65, 65, 66, 66, 66, 67, 67, 67, 67, 67, 67, 68, 68, 68, 68, 68, 68, 69, 69, 69, 69, 69, 69, 70, English I mean what the fuck kind of she's like talking with a bag of marbles in her mouth that can't be real
it can't be
real come on
come on Seve
that's just pushing propaganda that people are
stupid
there's no way that... David Pan's coming on the show.
You guys remember him?
3.31.
We tried to have him on.
He was in his basement.
The Asian dude who's running for Congress.
He's still coming on.
3.31.
I'm not even going to erase that. I'm going to leave it. I like
this guy a lot. This guy used to be a libtard too. Fellow, fellow, uh, El Tardian. Here we go.
David Pan. Campus diversity offices, in addition to undermining the ideals of hard work and merit,
are actually also suppressing diversity on campus. The best example of this is the diversity statements
that are required of all applicants to faculty positions
at the University of California.
In these statements, applicants are required to outline
the way they support the diversity, equity,
and inclusion policies in their professional lives.
And so if you disagree with these policies,
you're essentially disqualified from employment university,
or you have to lie on the same end.
So in fact,
what we're doing is we're breeding a faculty of conformists rather than
thinkers.
This is a tragedy for American higher education.
God,
that's some concise fucking talk,
huh?
Yeah, he speaks pretty well. God, that's some concise fucking talk, huh? Yeah, he speaks pretty well.
God damn.
I hope I can be calm when he's on.
He's going to require me to be very calm in order to let him speak.
Okay, three, sorry.
Are you good with time?
How are you?
Yeah, I thought I was going to end the show,
but now I'm getting excited.
I'm finding some shit in here.
A 321, this is how they normalized autism.
Listen, people, do your research
before you give your kids drugs.
Please do your research, especially if you're having new babies.
Please do your research.
Just scratch the surface.
Just 15 minutes a day for like a week.
Please, just read some shit.
Here we go. Look at this is a commercial in Canada showing kids having heart attacks.
They're normalizing it.
They're normalizing kids having heart attacks.
Nuts.
Here we go. Keep playing. Nobody even noticed.
I had a chance.
Guys, kids don't have heart attacks.
Kids aren't...
Fuck.
Man, they're just gonna normalize this shit.
They're just gonna normalize this shit.
I see you, Dan. I see you. I see you, Dan.
I see you.
I see you.
I see you, Dan.
On what channel?
Probably kids being raised on iPads instead of parents.
For sure.
100%. for sure 100% 318 I learned it from TV
whoo
oh I love this
hey this is the exact same thing
remember the guy we had on Xavier
and he learned that white people were racist
from TV that's where he learned it he didn't experience, Xavier? And he learned that white people were racist from TV.
That's where he learned it.
He didn't experience it.
That's where he learned it.
That's where he learned it.
Here we go.
What do you think, in your mind, made you think, maybe I'm not just gay, but maybe I'm trans?
When did you first have that sort of a thought?
Yeah, I was 12.
I'm trans when did you first have that sort of a thought yeah I was 12 I had no idea even what being transgender was until I saw it online and I saw it on TV
so what you're talking about is culture and culture matters all I wanted was a
miracle we turned to that gender clinic because we were desperate we were
vulnerable like I just didn't want to live anymore. They'll tell you if you want
to look good and be treated better, start now. Start young. I discovered a surgeon from TikTok.
Even just a month, two months in, something was really wrong. Every single day the pain was worse
and the bleeding was worse. I would try and call the doctor.
I would say, there's just no way
that this is what it's supposed to be like.
He sounds like an absolute monster.
I want you to know that I am so sorry
for what happened to you.
Everything that they had told us was a lie.
How does it make you feel to know
that there seems to be almost a conspiracy
to stop this truthful narrative.
I know. I've already been threatened
many times, me and my family.
Even us having this conversation is a risk.
It's a story that needs to be told.
That's a dude that had its penis
chopped off through a doctor on
TikTok.
Holy shit. Imagine being taught that take don't give your kids cell phones either people so easy but savvy they need to be safe i'm worried about them they need to be safe
then fucking pick them up from fucking school and take them to jiu-jitsu
have them train jiu-jitsu from three o'clock to seven o'clock at night.
Take them home,
feed them and put them to sleep.
That's it.
Yeah.
I do blame the parents.
I blame the parents a hundred percent.
Uh,
three 10.
I,
we never.
So I know some of you forget this.
I forget this. Dan, I know some of you forget this. I forget this.
Dan, listen up.
I am the greatest chief marketing officer that the planet has ever seen.
I ran everything forward facing at CrossFit Inc.
as it grew to become the fastest fucking growing company on fucking planet Earth.
All the continents,
15,000 gyms,
head down, just
grinding. And when I
would meet other fucking chief marketing
officers or other executives, it was
so fucking weird. It was like I'd lived on a different
planet than them. They were like adults and I
was like a preschooler. They were smart.
I was stupid.
They fucking knew everything. I knew nothing. They spoke in acronyms. I was fucking a preschooler. They were smart. I was stupid. They fucking knew everything.
I knew nothing.
They spoke in acronyms.
I was fucking clueless.
We never, ever talked like this.
But hey, man, this is the way the rest of the world talks.
You don't have to participate in this shit.
Don't think you do.
And you don't have to run away either. You don't have to participate in this shit. Don't think you do. And you don't have to run away either.
You don't have to run.
You don't have to be a pussy and pack up your shit
and fucking leave the country like a fucking coward.
You can stay and fight.
You can be yourself.
You don't have to run from your problems and your demons.
Okay, here we go.
One thing you hated about corporate america number one uh gotta be
gotta be company lingo yeah dude i don't know how it was in education but in my in the sales world
it's like everyone's a robot everything they say like everybody's like let's get the ball
rolling keep the ball rolling we don't work at a bowling out like that's the only person that should ever
say get the ball rolling dude it was it was it was it was tiresome yeah i think i got a text
message i gotta think i got text message to say for my boss dude actual text message from a former boss who shall be unnamed.
Terrible human being.
Here we go.
Hey, team, let's touch base on deliverables for the upcoming project.
We need to prioritize the low hanging fruit first.
Then let's take a deep dive to create innovative solutions.
We need to make sure we leverage our core competencies and synergize with other departments. We need to be proactive, not reactive, but proactive when it comes to thinking outside the box to drive home our key results.
Remember, we are aiming for maximum ROI and seamless integration.
Let's go ahead and circle back next week to ensure we're aligned, on track, and really have the ball rolling.
I want to quit. Dude, that that was so i'm so happy she fired
me that was so self-indulgent dude i'm never going back to corporate america what's the number
dude it's crazy that's exactly that it was it was all anytime i met people outside of
crossfit that's the way they talked i didn't even know what they were saying
it was like they were on a fucking foreign planet to me.
It's like they were aliens.
Do they talk like that in the military?
No.
No.
You guys got to get shit done.
Yeah, we don't do that.
We yell at each other and tell each other that we're retarded.
Yeah, that's good.
Shit like that.
That makes my skin crawl.
It took me a while to figure out.
At first, when I would hear that talk,
I was like, man, I'm clueless.
None of it makes sense.
And then finally,
I got distance from Caleb in here still just in case I ever want to revisit him
imagine dragons
imagine me dragging these nuts all over your face
there's so many of those
classics
uh oh what's this over your face. There's so many of those. Classics.
Uh-oh. What's this?
Oh, this is great.
Portland, Oregon has a no-touch policy. So if someone's
stealing something, you're not allowed to touch them.
$2.91. My god.
No-touch policy.
Here we go Dan Guerrero
HR people trying to keep their jobs by sending cheerful emails
showing they're not actually doing any work
just want to continue to contribute work
yeah
100%
100% work just to just want to continue to contribute work yeah 100 100 man when we used to deal with
apple it would be crazy i'd go over to the fucking mothership over there at hq
the apple hq and the the middle management was so thick same same with facebook Like you'd go into these meetings and you'd be in
a, it'd be me and a couple of dudes from CrossFit and we'd be in a meeting with 10 people from
Facebook and they would make a presentation to us. And then anytime you wanted to talk about like,
Hey, well, what can we do? Can we execute on it? It was always these crazy timelines,
or then they had to go back and talk to someone else. You felt like there were so many people
below them and so many people above them that you were just kind of floating in this abyss no one had any power to actually pull any trigger
or do anything we were not like that at hq at all at crossfit hq at all
in my country you got body slammed you mean for stealing like that
In my country, you got body slammed.
You mean for stealing like that?
Yeah, what's the point of having security if they're just going to stare at them as they walk out?
I guess it's supposed to make it so people don't want to steal.
Sevan's dog is not American
doesn't live in America
that's weird
I thought they did
Sevan's dog is Mexican
oh no shit is it
the mason says
Swiss I got a Swiss dog
those countries The Masons. Swiss. I got a Swiss dog.
Those countries, like, that have tight borders like that, their dogs are weird.
Like, if you go to, like, to Ireland and you're, like, you'll be, like, hey, what kind of dog is that?
Someone's, like, golden retriever.
You're, like, you're, like, what kind of dog is that?
They're, like, a lab.
You're, like, like, even their animals have been inbred.
You know, the people are off a little bit.
Eyes are a little close to bulgy.
You know what I mean?
Like the Irish, like Icelandic people.
You're like, you look, you just, something's just different about you.
Keeping it, even keeping it close, close to the hip.
Haven't you?
That semen close to the.
Well, too close.
Yeah.
Their dogs are like that too look sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry sorry
no pedro's pedro's almost pedro's pedro for for irish pedro's pretty normal looking
mason mitchell says like pedro no i think pedro's pretty um
but you know who I'm talking about
You've seen those Irish people
But yeah their dogs are like that too
It's so weird
Alright
Tomorrow Tyson Bajent
Will find out what
What is going to be the NFL's greatest quarterback
Whoever lived as an offseason?
Do they even tell him he gets to keep his job?
I wonder what that's like.
If he's in limbo or does he know which team he's going to go to?
We can ask him anything we want tomorrow.
Excuse me.
All right. Make sure you sign up for the membership for the behind the scenes
can you have
one can you have more female guests on
starting to think you are sexist
I just had
I just had
who did I have on?
No, I can't.
Sorry.
I am sexist.
Can I go with that?
That would just get me past this, right?
Right.
Yeah.
Do we have girls on the show?
Oh, I had Jennifer say on.
That was cool.
She's a girl.
I'm going to have proof.
You don't just like, you don't have proof that any of the people I have Jennifer Say on. That was cool. She's a girl. I'm going to have proof.
Just like you don't have proof that any of the people I have on are guys.
Dang.
Checkmate.
Yeah, motherfucker.
I stole she's CEO shirt from Wazza.
You know what?
If you did that and you wear it, I'm stoked.
I'll pay for it for you. If you did that, that's fine.
Just please wear it
Don't like turn into a rag or something
I do want to have Emily Rolf on
I'm like really into her
I like her a lot
And I really like her husband
They were cool
Oh fuck, I just saw my Kaiser
I looked at my emails just now I got reminded
I have that Kaiser appointment tomorrow
Okay I'm gonna go in there
Do you think they're gonna take my blood pressure and all that
Like just yeah
Even though I'm going in there just for a picture
Of the mole hey you think it's gonna be a shitty
Camera like worse than my iPhone
Probably yeah hey you think it's going to be a shitty camera like worse than my iphone probably yeah
should i even say anything to him and here's the thing too i sorry i don't mean to be racist but
it's going to be a uh a latin woman with uh asymmetrical haircut who's 100 pounds overweight
who has a septum ring who who's my nurse. I just know
how Kaiser rolls.
Oh, yeah. Is it like the intake person?
Yeah, and I'm going to be sitting
down for like 30 minutes, and
right when I stand up, she's going to take my blood pressure.
And then she's going to sit me down again.
Yeah.
There won't be any like,
hey, take five deep breaths that like just
no they ain't got time for that you gotta do it right away and then and then she'll weigh me and
i'll be like but i got a bunch of shit in my pocket she's like it's okay i'll take off we'll
take 10 pounds yeah yeah yeah i'm just like i know the tricks talk about some fucking
objective measuring to do that that i guess I guess that's the first thing.
In science, you have to make an observation and then measurements.
And I guess just right away, there's no...
I guess when you go into the doctor's office, first of all, they don't make any observations right away.
And they do some fucking shitty measurements.
Wow, look at this.
You see this? This is crazy. Uh, Stephen Flores, my girlfriend's a medical assistant, very normal with a nice rack and works at Kaiser. Not at this Kaiser,
not Kaiser Watsonville. And I'm going to be sitting in the way that you guys want me to
take pictures of the people in the waiting room and post them online and scribble out their faces?
I'll be in the waiting room, and the whole time I just look at people,
and I think to myself, I'm pretty sure I'm not the same.
Like I'm at the veterinary clinic.
Oh, Clovis.
There's a lot of Armenians there.
Wow, Clovis, California.
Wow.
It's a long drive for me just to see a chick's rag. holy shit. Oh my goodness.
There's always a lady in there with two kids or three kids,
you know,
trying to feed snacks for kids,
corralling them.
Everyone,
it's,
it, everyone's got like five jackets on in there.
Half the people will be masked.
What if they asked me to mask up?
Oh my God.
Don't do it.
It's not worth it.
They'll probably hand,
they probably hand out suckers.
That's true.
We've got a jar of them on the front desk.
We usually,
we gravitated towards stickers stickers we would just give away
stickers instead
the Kaiser I'm going to is in a
strip mall
but I'm not even going to a
hospital do you know what I mean yeah it's like
one of those urgent care kind of things
and it's the biggest building in the strip
mall it's kind of big it's like the
Home Depot went out of business and the Kaiser took it over
but it's in the strip mall and's kind of big it's like the that's like the home depot went out of business and the kaiser took it over but it's in the strip mall and so when you walk in you know like a place
that's built like a hospital you it's organized so you're like okay there's the front desk there's
the seating they got signs that say like fucking oncology this doesn't have any of that it's just
you just walk in and like and everyone knows where they're going because they're frequent flyers so i
i walk in i don't even know where the front desk is.
I just look around.
I'm like, where do you check in?
Because none of them have been.
Yeah, it's so bad.
It's so bad.
I don't know when Dale Saran is coming on.
Did I?
Soon.
I read the whole month of people yesterday.
The end of the show.
Next week?
Thursday?
All right.
All right.
If not, do I have permission from you, Seve,
to make a CEO Speedo with a bush on it?
Like one?
Or like a whole line of them?
All right.
Thanks, guys.
See you tomorrow.
Tyson Bajent, 7 a.m.
Oh, there is another show today.
There is another show today.
And it will be after I work out.
I'm going to be pretty pumped up.
There's a Dave Castro Week in Review.
Review of the Week in Review.
Also, if you haven't seen the behind the scenes,
episode four is out.
And I'm excited to show you the content
Patrick Rio's got over at Guadalupalooza.
It's going to be amazing.
All right, talk to you guys later.
Bye-bye.
Peace and love.