The Sevan Podcast - Nicole Christensen | Level 4 CrossFit Coach
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apply your audio sounds great really yeah it sounds fantastic bam we're live you sound great yeah
awesome your airpods are is that your airpods that you're actually using no that's what i was
saying my audio is weird it's not connecting my airpods let me just do it this way oh yeah this
way is great hey dude a lot of people use airpods and they end up sounding like shit they sound all
scratchy and shit the computers are getting so good they have so many good speakers and microphones
on them now it's awesome it's amazing what they're doing with technology
hey what time is it where you're at uh eight o'clock oh okay seven a.m for me oh maybe we
have an echo maybe i spoke too soon oh no went away that's good i got up at 3 a.m to watch the uh european uh semifinals
i have like old memories of watching remember when we had to do the update show and we would
stay up we would just stay up all night for europe australia how many years did you do that
uh two or three did you enjoy that i loved it it was great yeah it's cool right yeah it was really
fun um yeah old school update show when we were in there we it was live or no we pre-recorded it
no i don't remember both both both okay yeah tony would be like we'd be glued to our seats there was no there was wires everywhere
once you sat down you were in it five hours no moving did you do it out of uh santa cruz
scott's valley for the headquarters there in that crazy room okay cool yeah uh
they oh i'll save that for another show i was going to tell you about the
stream this morning.
Chase did a marvelous job.
He always does.
Yeah.
He,
he really killed it.
I didn't watch the teams.
I just watched the individuals.
But basically they,
they,
they,
he didn't have a lot to work with,
but he,
but he ran with it for two hours and he,
and he fucking killed it.
That's awesome.
I know I was laughing at Hobart's.
What was it? The other's, what was it the other day?
He was talking about the lack of necessity for being able to watch the
teams.
Yeah.
Where did he say that on his Instagram?
I think like talking elite fitness or something like that.
Nicole,
how you own CrossFit roots?
I do.
And how long have you owned it?
We will turn 15 in 38 days.
Wow.
Congratulations.
You're counting down.
Are you having a party?
Yeah, we're having a giant party.
You're invited.
It's on the 28th of June.
Thank you.
I think I was at your 10-year reunion.
Yeah, it was great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're actually moving the gym. so i'm in the thick of it
after this i'm gonna go work for the next 18 hours trying to get the gym ready because we're opening
it at the new spot tomorrow morning how many times have you moved uh five i mean well let's i mean let
me think about that the garage doesn't really. So we had our first space after the garage. That's one. What year was that? 2009. Okay.
You were, no, you never came to that one, but remember I ran into you at the laughing goat
in Boulder. Yeah, I do. I do remember that. That was just really, that was just really random. I
was there filming something with Carrie. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that was just really random i was there filming something with carrie yeah and i was like yeah that was random you guys were there for um not sectionals what do we call them
oh is that i thought i was there just that was in boulder i ran into you you're in boulder but
anyways i don't know but um so we moved from that space to the big 10,000 square foot space. So that was one real move. And then we did,
we got removed from the lease on that one.
So we moved just recently and now we're moving again.
So I guess three,
three like real moves.
Are you in the place right now that I visited?
No,
no,
no,
no,
no.
Cause the place I visited was massive yeah that was that was a great space
love that space we we got to our lease the time for the lease negotiations and the um landlord
uh just emailed us and said they had chosen to un to end our tenancy and they signed a lease
out from under us with the people next door oh no shit no shit. What was that business? They were a concentrated coffee company.
And this will surprise you.
Concentrated coffee, since the pandemic is over,
is maybe not doing as well
because you can just go out for coffee.
Oh, do I know the company that's concentrated coffee?
It's called Jot.
Oh, no, I don't know them okay anyways so are they
still there i think so oh i thought you were insinuating maybe that they chose the wrong
tenant well potentially but you know we'll see only time will tell so on um but uh but it all
worked out and why are you moving this time? Cause we need more space. So we went from 10,000 to 4,800,
4,800 is not big enough, but we kind of had to wait it out. Cause we also, we also bought a
building for the gym the month before the pandemic hit, which was terrible timing. So, um, we pivoted
and now we're in this like gorgeous space. Landlord's amazing. He's really supportive.
The gym's beautiful, perfect.
You know when you walk into a space and you're like, that could be a CrossFit gym?
Yeah.
That was the space.
You have to come see it.
Hey, you bought a building and then you never moved into it?
Yeah.
Oh, God, that's stressful as shit.
Then you had to sell it?
No, we didn't sell it. We sold our house and kept the building. Was that a smart move? Commercial
real estate over house? Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. So it ended up being a net gain. No, I have zero
complaints. Okay. And you, and you rent it out now? We rented out to a bike shop. Oh, that's cool.
Yeah. Like a natural place people can walk into and buy a bike and ride away on it?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Hey, and bike sales skyrocketed during the pandemic.
Skyrocketed.
Yeah.
I guess I never really figured that out.
I guess people wanted to be more physically active.
Yeah.
All the fitness equipment places skyrocketed.
Yeah.
So, yeah. So, they're great um and they're in there we just you know when you when the pandemic happened like everything
shut down so we couldn't even do permitting we couldn't do construction we couldn't really get
into the space so we're just sitting on it so hey if i blink um just so you know every time i blink
i'm taking a quick nap okay you know when you that tired, when you blink and you take a nap.
I'm kind of there with you.
We've been building this new space out for like two weeks.
I was like, all right, here we go.
I got it.
I, you know what I did the other day?
I was so out of it.
I was getting ready in the morning to go back to the new gym and to do the build out stuff.
And I put perfume in my armpits.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
I was just like,
Oh,
okay.
I got one of those too.
I think I've done like 2000 shows with the seven podcast.
And the other day,
just like I was just in no brainer mode and I just left the podcast.
I just stopped the podcast without even knowing.
I just hit end.
And I was on with Caleb.
The guy does the podcast with me.
He's like,
Hey dude,
you just ended the stream. I was like, no shit. Just straight autopilot.
Was there stuff going on in the background? Like in your house?
No, no. I'm in a studio. I'm all, I'm all set. I was just like, just so out of it. And I was
probably so tired and we'd come like, we'd been on for two hours and then I just accidentally hit the button and it was over. I love that.
It's amazing.
Hal Roberts.
Nicole is my level one 15 years ago.
She was and is a fabulous coach.
Helped me survive Fran as one of the oldest attendees there.
That's amazing.
Hi, Hal.
So I have a pretty unique relationship with Nicole. Obviously, I've, uh, with Nicole. Um, I obviously have known her a long time.
We've both been around CrossFit forever.
And for many years, including this last year, um, she held this position that we affectionately
called the Dave whisperer.
And when someone is running something as large as the games, they do not want lots of points
of contact.
They just want like one lots of points of contact.
They just want like one or two points of contact and then information to funnel in.
So if you want to talk to Dave, you'll do it through Nicole and you'll always find Nicole near Dave.
And so and then Nicole has like maybe two or three assistants that rotate in and out who help her make sure to get all the things that Dave needs.
And it is a fucking wild job it starts at 5 4 a.m 5 a.m um and it goes to and it goes to midnight and it's
seven days straight and the requests and things that come in you can't you can't even believe
uh whether they're coming from from dave or from other people there can be shifts just like
in floor plans and just whole executions of things it's wild yeah and so i've had the um
fortunate opportunity because when i do the behind the scenes nicole takes very very good care of me
and we'll share locations so that i can always find dave tell him. Am I still sharing my location with you? I don't know. Maybe, maybe,
but I have a very,
uh,
uh,
and then,
and then,
uh,
if I have to complain about Dave being a dick,
I just go straight to Nicole and she's my,
uh,
sort of my therapist.
So,
so we have a very days of,
um,
do you remember Tony and Dave?
They would,
uh,
things would not be going maybe as a plan as we had planned.
Yes.
Tony would get on the phone.
He'd be like, tell Dave he's a fucking idiot.
I said this wasn't going to work.
And then I'd be like, Dave, Tony's a little frustrated about the timeline.
Wasn't there a special code if someone was i need a starbucks
and that means hey tell get the people around me to leave get me out of here
we have new code words now we had to change it after a couple years uh extra sloppy really
loving seve's new look thank you my kids had lice oh i burnt my head yesterday i played tennis for
two hours it wasn't even sunny here i shaved my head with a one cause my kids had lice.
And yesterday I played tennis for two hours.
My head hurts.
Um,
he kind of homeless,
kind of gay.
It's like California camouflage.
Thanks for joining us,
Nicole.
Those are all the things I am kind of homeless.
Pardon me?
California camouflage is a thing.
It isn't for 20 bucks.
Anything can be a thing.
Well,
okay.
Fair enough.
Well,
I'll accept it.
I'll accept anything. I'll accept
anything. Um, that's cool. How did you, how did you, uh, your paths cross with a CrossFit? How
did you find CrossFit? What's your earliest memory of it? Rudy Nielsen. No shit. There's a name from the past. Wow. Um, I came home from college and I was, I swam in
college and my mom had joined gold's gym and I, I wanted to do strength training over the summer.
And she was like, well, go to gold's gym. And you know, they would like to hook you up with a,
like three personal training sessions when you signed up.
So I did that. And Rudy was my personal trainer person. So I did a couple of sessions with him and he was like, Hey, you should check out this website, crossfit.com.
This is at gold gym. He was a trainer at cold gold gym, kind of the same roots as Greg.
Where in Virginia, Alexandria, Virginia. Wow. They're on route one. Um, and he was great. I
mean, I know things,
you know, lots of things happened over the years, but I mean, he was awesome. And, you know, uh,
we would, I mean, it was the classic CrossFit story. We were doing pull-ups on the whatever
machine thing with the Gravitron and then just not using the Gravitron, but there was another
pull-up bar that was accessible. And then um doing olympic lifts and squats and things in the room that had like the big machines but that
was like the only space for it doing overhead squats with those like uh you know those bars
when you go to the gym they're like covered in like rubber and they're kind of yeah i have a
couple of those in my garage they come like in three pounds or five pounds.
Yeah.
So that's what I learned to overhead squat on.
Um,
but no,
so he was great.
And then I went to grad school and when I was in grad school,
I think I decided I just needed to run.
So I worked at a running shop,
but that's where,
um,
but at the,
that was at the same time that,
um,
shit,
uh, learning to breathe fire. He that, um, shit, uh,
learning to breathe fire.
He's in the beginning part,
Jerry,
Jerry Hill was in Philly under a bridge,
um,
doing CrossFit.
And then he moved back to Alexandria,
Virginia,
I guess.
But yeah.
And then I finally didn't take the plunge until I moved to Boulder in like
2007.
And why did you move?
Virginia was home for you.
That's where your mom and dad were.
That's where you were raised. Virginia was home. I was in grad school in Philadelphia.
And then after Philly, I got a job in Boulder and moved here.
Augustus Link, uh, Seban Max is out his deadlift with those, Nicole. He's very familiar.
That yes. Yes. Um, and, uh, why did you go to Boulder?
Yes. Yes. Um, and, uh, why did you go to Boulder? Uh, well, I finished up my college career here, like undergrad. So I had, I'd been here for like two years previously. It was completely random.
I was trying to get a job out of grad school and my professor was like, Hey, there's this great
foundation. I was doing land use planning. So like, uh, uh you know better planning of cities streets uh use um and
and spaces and had boulder exploded yet no not like now okay no no like half of pearl street was
empty or like had poorly signs up so yeah well and it was the it
was 2007 so it's right before the crash yeah yeah so that's when and then i lasted there basically
for a year and a half maybe and then at the same time i'd been doing crossfit at the boulder
crossfit but boulder crossfit it was a different one than now different owner they closed who owned that jeff king no jeff no not
king that was my swim coach uh when i was in high school um jeff something okay not jeff tincture
no he's dc no no no he's yeah jeff and my year dc although i think they're moving but um so yeah
there couldn't have been very many gyms back then but less than a thousand in the world yeah yeah uh there weren't very many there
was there was front range crossfit you probably remember that name skip uh yep yep yep yep hey
he had an athlete back in the day that i still see around it's this girl yeah i'm trying to remember
her name i always forget her name but sometimes i'll be watching games footage and i'll see her
like on the team or something go by really yeah it's crazy oh that's cool yeah she doesn't look
like she's aged a day oh i would love to know who that is oh shit did i really give you lice
sebon gave me lice i had to shave my head did i really give you lice hi graciano um wow you really give you lice? Hi, Graciano. Wow.
Did you really give him lice?
I don't know.
I mean, I was at a party where he was at.
It was a party at Greg's house, and he was there.
Those two things jump.
Lice jump.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Oh, God.
What if you got lice, too?
Heidi was there, too.
Yeah, it's better than crabs.
Okay.
Crabs are okay they're easy to pick out easier than lice
can you see the comments yeah i'm just looking at i just clicked over i don't you know i don't
and i'm not yeah you don't want to fall in there they'll steal the show from you oh okay
sorry guys i'm not looking at the comments
um and um because there's a lot of funny comments like black lives matter i mean that's really good
oh that is funny that is funny um okay so so then in 2007 you're at boulder crossfit
and um did you did you fall in love with it? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh my God.
I was in like from day one.
I was the dork that was like, okay, here's the squat article.
I'm going to teach you guys the squat.
Okay.
Would you always check.com at 5 PM?
Yes.
Eric and I would sit there.
We weren't married or dating.
Yeah.
No, it was before that uh we were both in our own offices
because we met at the place of work that we worked before we started the gym and uh we would just be
in our offices waiting for that thing to post wow okay so you really are old school oh my god that
was the best and and why did you like it you think did it scratch that competitive itch uh that swim
that you were missing from swimming in college or did you like getting strong or what did you
like about you like hurting you like sweating no i mean honestly i this i mean i really was like oh
this is how i'm not going to be fat and obese in my life yeah i'm not joking because yeah no no i
get it i wanted to keep a nice figure you wanted to have a nice body. You wanted to feel good on planet earth. Yeah. I ran and I was a runner because I was like, well,
I swam and that's how I wasn't fat. And so then I was like, well, when I stopped swimming in
college, I was like, well, what am I going to do? So I was like, well, run 70 miles a week.
Cause that's the only way that I'm going to like counter sitting at a desk for eight hours a day.
Yep. Um, and then I read Nicole's article off the crack, obviously.
And I was like, I've, I, no matter how much I ever ran, I never had abs ever.
And there was something about the zone diet and something.
And I went all in.
I mean, we did the zone.
You remember the, like do it for two weeks and you can have one cheat day at the end
of two weeks.
I mean, I was like in it. Then went to two times fat.
Then went to three times fat.
Did the whole thing.
There it is.
And did you have body composition changes right away?
Oh my God.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
I know.
Crazy, right?
Crazy.
And just still one of the best.
So simple.
And, you know, everyone wants to complicate years and make it, you know, is it macros or is it zone?
I mean, I could go on and on about
how macros is zone. If you look down at 90% of people's, you know, macronutrient percentages
when they do do macros, but, um, just such a simple article. And like, I mean, honestly,
that article and CrossFit at that time changed my life forever. Forever.
So you get on it, you have the immediate uh body composition uh changes like
we all had like when we first started it and um do you ever wonder um i i wonder this i feel like
at least once a month this pops in my head i wonder what i would be doing if i would have never found
crossfit i think about this all the time oh my god all the time, and I can see what my body would look like.
I'm serious. Like I can see like untrained for the past 17, 16 years,
like not doing strength work, not doing intensity, like finding this, like just being on this
hamster wheel of like, okay, now I had my first kid. Now I keep eating less and less and less,
but like I'm, and I'm now I'm running more and more and more,
but I'm still not like getting off the baby weight.
Like I play that out, that shit out my head all the time. Like I'm so, yeah.
In 20 years, 30 years, I, I, the only,
I can only remember my mom crying three times when her mom passed away
okay and twice in the last uh 15 years when she thanks me for introducing her to crossfit
those are the only three times in my life i can remember my like tears coming from my mom's eye
that's how that's how that's how that's how
incredible it is i mean we take it for granted now but um we do but we take it for granted sure
but at the same time like when i really do like now we're moving the gym we're going to be open
for 15 years i do get like nostalgic and you know i cry sometimes um do you have an exit strategy by
the way no 15 years is a long time you got to be like okay i mean you have an exit strategy by the way? No. 15 years is a long time.
You got to be like, okay.
I mean, you have the building you're renting out.
That's part of an exit strategy, right?
Yeah.
So we've got a good, we've got a good long 10 year runway on the place we're at.
I mean, my kids are not yet in middle school, but we definitely think about it.
How old are you?
I'm 43 as of years ago.
All right.
You're still young, maybe too young for exit strategy.
I just love what I do. Like I'm, I'm, I'm not trying to be cheesy. Like when I say it, like
I mean, when you think about all the things you can do in the world,
just, I love running my small business. I love being connected to my local community. I don't
mean community in the
cheesy way that the word gets abused all the time now, but like being connected to my local
infrastructure and the humans that I see in my day-to-day life. And then I just, I really love
what I do. So I don't, I don't know if I would, you know, I could see myself backing out or just
going to coaching. I mean, that's the other part is like,
you know, maybe there comes a point where we sell the affiliate, but I get to work at it and I get to coach and I get to do all the things that I love doing. It's not that I don't love running
my affiliate, but I mean, the reason I got into it is because I love coaching.
Uh, I think this isn't supposed to be Nicole, but you can have a nitro. Uh, Nicole taught my level
one in 2013 was relentless about my squat depth.
Still here telling me to squat lower today.
I'm thankful.
Crazy fit.
Crazy fit.
That boy can snatch 245 and run a marathon.
Crazy fit.
That guy's awesome.
Yeah.
He was in his Tesla and I was in my car like a couple months ago and we were talking.
For those of you who don't know, the behind the scenes was completely edited by this year by Patrick Rios
and Will Branstetter.
Patrick Rios did, I think, most of the heavy lifting.
And he does the trailers for the Kill Taylor show.
And he does the Matuthian Instagram account.
And I'm so lucky to have run into him and met him.
He's a truly remarkable uh character in the space you
know his wife's pregnant i didn't know that yeah bella cool right what a cool couple what a cool
couple have you met her yeah bella was um i've met bella a couple different times she's awesome
she also jumped in to one of the courses we filmed.
She was like an athlete in the filming.
She showed up to the behind the scenes with no experience in.
Crushed it?
Yeah, crushed it.
No experience.
Last year showed up behind the scenes with Patrick, brought his wife.
I hate it when people bring their wives or their significant others.
She completely carried her weight.
She grabbed a camera she'd never filmed before. She shot all sorts of vital footage that made it into the behind the scenes.
She was a great team player. It was cool.
It was like having an extra producer and
camera person on the scene.
Yeah, it was cool.
I'll work with Nitro.
If you work with Nitro, you get to call
her Nitro, I think.
Is that your nickname?
Yeah, it is. Sort of. of pat's right if you work with
me and i know you i feel like it's fine but if not people can't call me that pat uh tosh gave
me the nickname oh um brian chantosh i don't know why it was like a 2013 or 14 thing i think we're
in texas at a gig and it was nitro crow, which I still don't,
I don't, you know, I didn't totally get it. But then when Nicole and I started working closely
together, you know, Nicole Christensen, Nicole Carroll, all our initials were the same and it
was a disaster. So we had to have a name. So then Matt Swift, it was like in documents that it would be nitro, but then Matt's just calling me nitro is awesome.
Is Matt Swift still?
No,
he's a grandfather.
Crazy.
He's living it up.
He's all,
I miss him one day.
I'm going to get the kids out to Australia and we'll go bother Matt.
He wrote the seminar for masters.
Yeah. And my mom took it and she said that in her mind,
it was better than the level one. She took it over at CrossFit Roma. She was blown away by it.
It's I mean, well, if you know anything about Matt, it's not surprising that it's just so well thought out, put together, researched. Oh, look at that. Doesn't that just make you smile?
researched oh look at that doesn't that just make you smile yeah oh that's awesome he competed at the 2008 and 9 games i think yeah and then he i mean then he went on had a pretty successful
master's career like the master's level that was the first people i ever told that i was pregnant
because i was i was in austral Australia for gigs for like six weeks.
And I think I found out I was pregnant like the day before we flew over there.
And then I got over there and was working with Matt and it was super freaking hot in Brisbane.
And I was like, so that was great. Everything. How many kids do you have two um and um and you're level four i am level four
and and you're on seminar staff and i'm on seminar staff and i work for crossfit i think my i don't
know what my title is i don't worry about the only title i've ever really cared about is level four
and crossfit coach so what department do you work in edu oh yeah i do and that's training i know that is
training yeah me too me too okay yeah and and um and uh you when you uh you own crossfit roots
and it's in boulder and um and eric rosa also owned a gym him and his wife owned a gym in that town.
And they owned the gym when the sale went through.
Yeah, they did.
And did you know him before then?
Not, no.
I mean, I knew his name and I knew who he was.
And you knew of the gym, but you weren't like, your gym's more like. They were kind of that wave of gym.
I mean, full transparency.
They were that wave of gym when it was like Reebok's coming in here's a reebok gym i think they they got some games athletes to kind
of be part of the gym to attract people and they had the self magazine you know when you pay for
like top five gyms in america oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they kind of came with different
financials than we did yeah one starting out of a garage, one with a little bit different backing.
So just different vibes, different gyms.
And his, like you said, I mean, this isn't a secret, but he made a significant amount of money selling his company to Oracle.
So his maybe was more like a hobby gym 100 yeah
okay yeah okay and and then um is that gym still around yeah it is so how many gyms are in boulder
three or four see you just opened one like a non-profit or a you know college gym i was
pretty excited for those guys you were excited you're not threatened by other gyms. No.
Okay.
No, no. If I was threatened by other gyms, I wouldn't have opened my affiliate where anybody could open their gym wherever they wanted to.
I normally don't think about you unless it's approaching games time or it's,
yeah, unless it's approaching games time. And then I saw CrossFit, you popped on my radar
again, because CrossFit did a video where you were teaching a class and I saw it was, it got 20,
it got crazy reviews in the comments and it has 27,000 views, which is huge for that station.
Um, what, what was the, and I, and I, and I watched the entire video 54 minutes and it's
you teaching a class and I have a bunch, I have just a ton of questions about it. Um, first of all, that's not your gym. No, no. We went to,
we went to Ute CrossFit in Salt Lake. Um, the project was, it was Eric O'Connor and I,
so we both went and taught and then, um, Matt Bischel and Eric Preston came to film it.
So it was like, it was super fun, but we, to go to a gym that was not Eric's gym or mine.
And then Eric's in Salt Lake.
And he comes to Boulder a lot and has horrific track record with getting out of Boulder on his flight.
So we decided to go to Salt Lake.
And Eric has taught more seminars than anyone alive on planet Earth.
I don't know who's ahead him or
chuck but eric is is definitely one of the top three that guy's amazing he's a machine yeah he
is a machine he is amazing and he and he's been around forever too he used to compete with spieler
he was spieler's training partner chris spieler eric and i did our we were interning for seminar staff at the same time. Um, and in that video, it's a, it's a, it's a full class with basically no, no break.
It shows the entire class.
It's, I think the video is 54 minutes long.
So the entire duration of the class.
And when I watched that video, um, if I didn't know it wasn't your gym at first, but once
I knew it wasn't your gym, it kind of made more sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's, yeah. at first, but once I knew it wasn't your gym, it kind of made more sense to me. Yeah. I mean, obviously there's a little bit more assessment because I don't know these athletes,
but I think one of the things that got maybe missed in that is that even if those had been
my athletes, that time wouldn't have gone away and we wouldn't have just been like,
oh, well, I know you, so let's go do the workout we would have just made that more higher level practice um to get to that point
if that makes sense right like it's not like because i think there was a little some of the
stuff that we were doing i just had to be able to see like what people what people's norm was
um but that doesn't mean that we wouldn't do negatives or that we wouldn't do some type of like time under tension on the lowering phase in warmup. That's
one of my favorite parts of that video. Such a great, great little moment there. So I tell him
right in that moment, I think I say something like touch your note. I say like, try and see
your fingertips with your head or with your eyes when you come down. But then he basically takes his eyes to his fingertips.
Oh, cute.
You see him go to the side.
Anyways.
So yeah, so it's a full class and I'd never met those.
There it is.
So I told him to like, I think I was like, bring, trying to be able to see your fingertips
at the bottom.
So then he like, he's like looking closely at his fingertips.
And you meant more just using your periphery.
Yeah, exactly.
So it was easy.
I just kind of like tapped more here, like bring your head down this way.
So when I saw this video, I was like, wow, this is an incredible resource for all trainers out there, anyone teaching a class.
Yes.
And yet maybe, and correct me if I'm wrong, maybe all
of that information could have been disseminated. If it was your class, it could have been disseminated
over five classes. Meaning if you would have known all of those students already, those would
have all been your clients. Maybe one client would have gotten that kind of attention, but not all of
them, but it shows you doing it with all of them. you normally are you normally that active in a class
you are yeah you are yeah um because i mean what about what about this um what about two of the
people they're in the middle of the workout and you stop them and talk to them what about that
part would you normally do that in your class i would normally a hundred percent normally do that
in a class because long-term threshold hundred percent normally do that in a class
because long-term threshold training and long-term intensity is way better bang for your buck than
that one day moment that you overlook it. Right. So I think that's, I mean, I think that's probably
one of the, we hear that all the time. Like, would you really want me to like stop a person
during the workout? And I think the caveat to that question is, or not caveat, the precursor to
that question is if you're doing your job as a coach, that, that necessity to stop somebody in
a workout or have that conversation should be once a month. If you're doing enough assessment
and you know your athletes on the front and you're doing enough work to get everybody scaled to the
right option and know the result and call your shot, then that doesn't need to happen that often. If it's a shit show and you
get to the start line and then it's like, oh crap, everything just blew up. Well, that's,
that's not going to work. You can't stop somebody all the time. Um, and since I didn't know those
guys, I mean, I can't remember what the two times were. Well, there was the handstand pushup one,
which I think Eric and I did a little brief on that one. Cause that was one where you
don't want to go into a class too, and just not think anybody can do anything. And so he got four
of the five reps and I had said five and I was like, Oh, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
And then it quickly became evident that that was not gonna, not gonna be a good result. And so we
just switched it on the fly. But I think you get the person to that moment too. There's a big difference between saying, I don't think you can do that versus I want you to be able to get five and then saying, did you get five? And then having the person be able to say no, because that's them reinforcing and figuring it out on their own.
from, um, I stole that from my kid's gymnastics coach, because one of the things they do is if they're going to compete a skill in a meet, they have to do it five times in a row perfectly,
uh, in practice before they're ever allowed to like consider doing it in a meet. So like,
they'll have like five beams set up and like like they'll, she'll do like a back walk
over and then she'll go to the next beam and she'll do a routine with the back walk over.
And if she comes off the beam, she's got to go back to the first beam, try and work herself
all the way through five without coming off.
And that's like kind of how you prove the capacity in your head, right?
It's the whole thing of repetition, right?
And so I think that that kind of, anyways so it's a long winded way of saying that kind of helps put it back on the athlete for them to also start taking some like understanding of like what they need and warm up to be able to do that thing in the workout.
I got a little bit of anxiety when you stopped the athlete in the middle.
I was like, oh shit.
Cause, and I just work out in my garage.
I don't work out in an affiliate, but like, I would like, I don't let anyone interrupt me once I've started to work out.
Even if my kids come in there, if the house was on fire.
If I was in your garage.
What if you were in my garage?
Then maybe, then maybe I would have to stop, but my kids will come in there and try to
talk to me and I just ignore them.
Or I'll put even like put my hand on to me and i just ignore them or i'll put
even like put my hand on their face and just like give them a fucking little shove like back yeah
but like think about it that's not but like think about in any i use sports analogies all the time
because i think people take crossfit and and sometimes it's like we're in our own category
sure and sometimes it's like no if we're going to say that crossfit and sport are interrelated and coaching and the concepts are interrelated with sport like if you go to a football practice
and the coach doesn't like the way a play is going what do they do they stop it they don't
let the whole thing run out and they make some corrections and then they go and they do it again
right or okay yes in a game you can't stop a play in the middle but you can call time out before the
next play happens yeah and that's literally that's the way you made it sound too once you told me that it's not like
something that happens every day it's like something like it might happen to you once a
month like okay get my head wrapped around it but i also felt i'm going to tell you i felt a lot of
i felt way differently about the video once i knew it wasn't your class yeah of course i felt
way i felt way way different felt way, way different,
but it, but I did, but it took me a second. I didn't, I didn't realize maybe I text you last
night. I don't know. I don't know when I realized it, but at some point I realized it and I'm like,
oh shit, that's not her class. Yeah. But I think that that's the whole thing is like,
it felt like a level one. It felt like, like those people, when I think of people,
I think of them coming to a gym to work out and you were letting them work out, but also like giving them a massive education. Okay, sure. And so now think about it.
Like if you, if you came to roots all the time and you're getting those little tidbits of education
every single day, when you come to class, I don't have to, maybe I don't have to go through all the
teaching points of how you're going to set your hands up. I'm just correcting the couple of people that I see. And then maybe
I'm like, Oh, they're new. I need to go on a one-off and let them know, like, this is how to
place their hands. So yeah, you're not going to go through all the motions, but at the same time,
if I hadn't done that with a new group of people, you also have to realize too, like it seemed a
little dry because we couldn't play music. I didn't think it was dry. I didn't think it was dry.
I didn't think it was dry. I thought it was, uh, I didn't get bored once it was 54 minutes long,
which was crazy just to see someone teach a class. And I thought it was very reminiscent of how probably Greg taught his classes, like very reminiscent. It's exactly how he described.
And I thought, Holy shit, every trainer should see this.
how he described. And I thought, holy shit, every trainer should see this.
Well, that's nice of you to say. I think that that's, that's kind of my caught. Like that's something that I, I feel very strongly about is that is, and that was really like this project,
this idea has been, we've been tossing this around for a while because I think all of us
on the content team and an ADU, it's's like what's one of the you know my brother
told me this I don't know where you know he's the education expert um but you have to show what
success looks like and so if we sit there and we write about CrossFit and we talk about CrossFit
and then we show Hobart doing a perfect squat which we have to have those videos they're
fantastic but we also then have to be able to put all that into play and show somebody what it
actually looks like you know and so it was really just an effort to put something out there.
It's not perfect.
Like I, there's stuff that I could go back and be like, oh, I wish I would have done that differently.
I didn't like the way that came out.
I wish I would have followed up with them again.
But like, we have to put that stuff out.
And Greg is still out all the time.
You know, we, there's so many old videos.
Extra sloppy. You could tell she was coaching a group of people she had never coached before well thanks for throwing me under the bus
and that group of people were not where you'd hope they they they they'd been they'd be to put it
nicely i don't well i don't know so that's the thing it's like it's so hard i mean it's so hard
to go into any other gym like i could have just they could have known all that stuff, but I'm just saying it in a different way that they've never heard. And they got to come, they've got to like come online with the way that I say things.
um i'll read this anyway fuck it there isn't nearly enough coaching and way too much programming in most affiliates and the worst of scenarios there's not enough of either and they're running
45 minute classes routinely um you you obviously i mean if you've been around 15 years you found
what keeps people there and and you have a success would you consider your gym successful
i would yeah and you and from the 10-year uh anniversary that i went to i would consider And you have a – would you consider your gym successful? I would. Yeah.
And from the 10-year anniversary that I went to, I would consider it a very strong community.
It was a fucking shitload of people who showed up.
It was fun.
Yeah.
Why – Yeah.
People say –
Why haven't you – go ahead.
Go ahead.
No, no.
Go ahead.
Why haven't you opened a second gym?
I don't want to do that.
No.
No. It never even enters your mind um and uh is is um in boulder is an active town so you have and it's
a college town so you have not only you have old people um by old i mean over 30 um who want to
stay in shape yeah but you also have uh fresh new people that you can always introduce
crossfit to all the time right actually you know what's really crazy guess what the average
age of our open participant was this year 48 yeah like 46.2 yeah that's insane i mean we had
an old fit community it's a really old fit community well that's i mean when i think of it demographically we're not really feeding the base like that's a i've i've thought
about that like what do you mean by that well just you know when you think about the people
that came that found crossfit when they found crossfit 15 years ago it was a little bit
out there you know it was rogue you, you were not part of the mainstream,
right. Um, and you didn't have kids and you could go and do all this stuff on, you know,
and you could figure it out and you could just put all your time and your energy into it. And then
slowly that groups, okay. They started to get married. Then they started to have kids. Then
they started to see CrossFit. Now they kind of like evolved with crossfit from like maybe more of a competitive element to like now i'm gonna do this
for my life right and i'm gonna i'm going to do it to stay healthy and be great for my kids and
all that and so we we kind of we grow we grew that demographic right they like kind of went we all
wanted to be games athletes yeah when i came into crossfit everyone wanted to be games athletes. Yeah. When I came into CrossFit, everyone wanted to be a games athlete.
But the games were definitely not what the games are today.
It was like a different.
But we all we all if you in 2008, when you saw the games program, you're like, OK, I'm going to do all those workouts.
And now it's not like that.
No, but but I think that's the thing is that.
So then now, if you look at just like.
Where people are coming from where
society is where 20 to 30 somethings are in the world if we really you know if we really want to
feed the base we got to like you know make sure that they're getting that injection of crossfit
at a younger age um so they can grow up with it you know how young is young well i mean
my eight and ten year olds eat meat and vegetables nuts and seeds some fruit little starch and no
sugar you know right right um but yeah i mean as young as possible good reminder of the bottom of
the pyramid it's such a good reminder um so simple but But yeah, so I mean, I think in terms of membership piece and people staying, I think that's where all the coaching stuff comes into play. It's like you have to deliver results to people and you have to deliver a well, a good and organized class. You know, that's like a non-negotiable. That's like literally
what people are coming to you for. You know, I go, I've, you know, ranted about this before,
and I love the use of the word community, but there's a very dangerous flip there, right? Like
we all came and we found CrossFit and you and I became connected because we had this foundation of CrossFit.
And then that became the community around it. If we flip that and it's like, no, we're a community
and we do this thing called CrossFit, like that's very different. And I think that there's this,
you know, when you, when you think about what people are coming to you for your gym, like I
was very aware of it, like right after the pandemic, when we would do intros, we'd be like, okay, you know, we always sit people down, like,
how can we help? And like, oh, I'm just looking for a community. And I'm like, well, knitting has
a community, you know, wine has a community. Like you can, you can join communities around any
central thing, but like CrossFit, we're, we believe in high intensity. We believe in meat and vegetables,
nuts and seeds. We believe in, you know, constantly believe in high intensity, we believe in meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds,
we believe in, you know, constantly varied functional movements, execute a high intensity,
like that's what we do. And then if you're bought in on that, and you're ready to do the work and all that shit, then like, yes, you can, the community will bring you under their wing. But I,
so I think that's the other part, like, when you think about like, why people stay at our gym,
it's because like, they know what CrossFit is, we do CrossFit, we want to get better at skills,
we want muscle ups, we don't like eliminate eliminate the hardship we don't say you don't
need to snatch once you're over 65 i don't know i really like what you just said that's fucking an
awesome distinction uh we all squat below parallel and because of that, we're friends, um, not we're friends first. And then it's very
interesting. Um, and I, and I love that. I always get, I always, I get triggered by this word when
people say, um, so-and-so is using me like it was something bad. And like my best friends are my
friends I played Frisbee with in college. And were both using each other no one wants to play frisbee by themselves and uh it has this bad word if like you're using someone
but but once you accept that i mean i know people don't want to be trampled over and robbed and and
and thieved from but that's the whole cool thing about being a crossfitter is setting that bar
high setting that example and letting other people use you as a as a kind of like a a beacon or a north star and then we all kind of
and then we all sort of do that to each other i mean have you ever thought about like what your
day-to-day would be like if you didn't get all these aspirational moments throughout your day
like i just i mean i could think like if all my clarity comes from when i work out all my clarity comes from when i work i mean like
i mean like what you're surrounding yourself by in terms of yes it's the buy it's the runoff of
the community or whatever the the aspirational pieces that then make you more bought in but like
just think about like you you wake up and you know, like I go to the
gym and like my coaches are sitting there and they're eating food out of a Tupperware. Okay.
Well, there's like a reminder in my head that I got to eat. I got to eat well. I don't get to
have an excuse that like, I've been moving my gym for three weeks and I'm fucking tired and
it would be easy to just order takeout. Right. And then we, you know, walked, we did move the
gym for time yesterday, which was super fun.
We take all the equipment.
That's highly manipulative, by the way.
Well, so everyone always gives me shit about that.
And I'm like, yeah, I fall bullshit on that.
Like one, yes, I have cars.
My dad was like, so what are you doing?
Because he goes to the gym, but he's 82.
And he's like, you know, it would be a lot more efficient, Nicole, if we just loaded the equipment into my car and I would just drive it over there and i'm like
I know dad like this is a fun thing like
It I I I completely get it. I'm not using people to move the equipment
I get we're going to do 95 of moving all the shit with cars and trucks
It's the idea that you can use your body to do something
That's not a fucking perfect barbell with a clock and it's just literally do the job. Oh yeah. There's Whitney.
Hey, you know what else is cool about that too? Now everyone's invested in the gym too.
Yeah. I brought that there. I set that there. I was here on day one. I helped like they're bought
in. Well, and I think that we, if we try to make our businesses at the small business level, like
too professional, and I'm not saying
that we're not trying to be professional, but like, if you make it too professional, like
you, you kind of take out some of the necessity of what it means to be a small business and like
how, how you bring people together. You can be professional and still be real.
Yes. And you know, it's interesting. Um, the media space is kind of trippy like that
look how big joe rogan is 10 times the audience is cnn he's professional but he's real like if he
if he drops a pencil on the ground he picks it up and no one catches no one's like tripping
but if see if the guy at cnn drops their pencil yeah it has to bend down and pick it up yeah right exactly you know what i mean or
someone says an f-bomb on the show um on espn they got to apologize for it whereas like on
joe rogan they don't have to apologize for it there's just this yeah you can be you can be
very professional you can sit up straight you can wear clean clothes you can be on time you can um
have accountability and responsibility for what you're saying.
Well, and that's the other thing.
Professional people don't have accountability and responsibility, I feel like.
Well, there's that too.
But actually, just what you said too kind of is one of the whole things that we were – I'll be honest.
We toyed with.
We were like, ah, like when we put that video out, it's just raw.
That's everything I said.
That's me, just unedited. Like when you said, hey, I'm, it's just raw. Yeah. That's everything I said. That's me.
Just unedited.
Like when you said, hey, I'm sorry I forgot your name.
Yeah.
What was your name?
Yeah.
Sarah or Emily, one of them.
Sarah.
Yeah.
And so I think that that's the other part is that if you're going to show.
That made it feel real.
That was a learning moment.
Sorry to interrupt you.
No, but you're right.
Because most people won't.
And there was also a learning moment there because most people are too embarrassed to ask
someone's name again when they forget it and that's fucking ridiculous too i mean there are
basic human interactions that i think we are too shy to entertain and really that's just
it's just like being human you're're going to forget somebody's name.
You're going to forget your, you know, like sometimes on the whiteboard, when I write everybody's name up, there's okay. So we have Alan and Adam and they both used to come to 6
PM class and half the time. All right, Alan, I know it's Adam, but on the whiteboard, I'm like,
oh shit, sorry. You know, rather than being like, like weird and shy about it and like not talking about it i
don't know um i have this uh friend and he used to be married to a miranda and now he's married
to a mariah and i've called mariah straight to her face miranda many times it's like oops yeah
i just got an old creepy photo actually of, of Boz and Miranda and I.
We got stuck in an airport coming home from a gig, and it was Christmas time.
We're all sitting on Santa Claus's lap.
A real Santa Claus?
Yeah, there was like a Santa in the airport.
I don't know if I can find it.
It's so creepy.
I like it.
Anyways.
Hey, does your gym have a dress code a what a dress code no have
you ever had to tell someone that what they're wearing is inappropriate no no okay i don't do
that that's not that's not us that's not you i i just i saw some outfits right now i don't
i don't pay attention to a lot of this stuff. Okay, well that's good on you. I saw some outfits
I see outfits
that I'm, maybe I'm just getting old.
But I see some outfits
where I'm just like, I don't know if you should be wearing that.
Oh.
Well, okay.
I mean, there's a difference
between... I never see guys doing that either
by the way. Just girls. Really?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about that i you see boy you see boat you see boy you not that you have a dress
coat but you see boys and girls both like hey that probably wasn't a good choice for your outfit
i i'm not talking about people coming in and work i'm talking about people like wearing stuff that's
inappropriate like their body's falling out of their outfit.
Oh, yeah. I mean, OK, like there are limitations to buying the right size that can enhance or not enhance what you're wearing.
Right. Right. But no, I mean, we don't have like wasn't there a thing years ago about like.
I remember Graham had a no shirt. You had to keep your shirt on policy.
I would. Sorry, Graham. Yeah, that to keep your shirt on policy. I would have put, sorry, Graham.
Yeah. That part, that part, I, I, I'm not, I'm not.
I was going to post a photo today of,
so we walked me and a couple of the coaches, we walked from one gym to the next with the yoke,
which is sort of this tradition.
Although I don't plan on ever moving again to make it a bigger tradition.
But, um,
what the Whitney was there and she took a photo of us afterward and we all have our shirts off and everyone's got,
it's like abs,
abs,
abs.
And I was like,
God,
this is fucking cool.
Yeah.
Like,
yeah.
Taking a shirt.
Yeah.
Cause it's,
it's also showing the product.
It's like where all the hard work is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I just,
I,
I more and more I'm seeing stuff and i'm like wow like
it just seems too revealing to me to me maybe but i'm i'm but i'm getting
more and more conservative and old so in your old age yeah i mean i think that
i don't i i cannot see a scenario where I would have a dress code.
I don't mind breastfeeding in public.
It's not like that.
It's not like...
See, that's funny you said that because I actually found it really fucking annoying
when people would come and breastfeed on the couch right next to all the back squats going on.
There, I said it.
Erica's like...
How dare you, Nicole? That is nature. That is sustenance being transmitted.
Yeah, that's fine. That doesn't mean that everybody has to participate in it. I get it.
I think that's the thing is that the more the years that you own an affiliate, the more things
that you have 300 different personalities and people coming into your gym and
what they wear, how they feel about a certain thing. It's like, you know, you really just have
to filter it through, like what's important to you at your affiliate. And it's like, so,
you know, for us, like you're not special, like nobody's special. I got that from my mom, right?
Like you get to play by the same rules as everybody else. You don't get to not sign up for class and then come to class. You don't get to
be in the way of the class because you're a competitor. Like you're not special, you know?
And then the second thing is just like, there are basic rules of basic ways that we're going to run
the gym. Like if you're going to do the workout, you're going to put your name up. We're going to
put your name on the board and you're going to say your time. And if you're like, I don't,
I don't want to say my time i'm you know you're not
gonna do well here right and so it's okay for you to find another gym so i think like you you set
those basic things and then but yeah i mean you know if it's not taking your shirt off or whatever
then i guess that's your thing i don't know um women should breastfeed at home you're out of
your fucking mind okay that i okay time out so i didn't say that this
actually was oh hold on it gets worse hold on it gets worse i'm not even gonna read them hold on
you got you're gonna get that you get ass pounded here uh uh heidi breastfeeding is not sexual first
of all breastfeeding is very sexual it's not sexual to you but let me tell you something
yeah we have a friend who just had a baby and i heard my kids in the back of the car
uh talking i heard one of my seven-year-olds tell my other twin and nine year old, hey, I saw her nipple.
And this lady's tits are huge now.
And like, like, don't tell me it's not sexual.
Like, like, it's not sexual for her, but for every fucking dude with a heartbeat, it is.
So she dislikes breastfeeding.
No, she doesn't want them breastfeeding behind the squat rack when people are trying to be focused.
And there's these big old titties hanging out.
Right. That's how I understood it.
Yeah, I mean,
exactly.
Like,
and the thing is,
is like,
we had plenty of space not to do it right in front of the squat rack.
Like,
that's what I'm saying is like,
it's just,
I don't know.
Somebody said this to me the other day where it's like,
yeah.
Okay.
There's your point.
You have plenty of other space to do it.
Not behind the squat rack.
And we had,
we had a whole,
like we had a whole couch in the room.
I mean,
I breastfed when I was at the gym.
Yeah. I just think like trying to make a point of it. Like I mean, I breastfed when I was at the gym. Yeah.
I just think like trying to make a point of it, like I'm going to do it right next to
all the dudes squatting.
Yeah.
No, that's fine.
I mean, if that's your thing, but there's another space that might be, you know, a little
bit more like we're all in this together and here we are, and here's a nice comfy couch
that's still in a public place within the gym.
I was, um, do you know who Allison NYC is?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was at the beach with her.
This is, I don't know, six months ago or a year ago.
And it was just, it was just like me and her at the beach.
And then like some people surfing and we're sitting next to each other and our kids are playing.
And she's wearing this wife beater and she has huge boobs
and her kid comes over and pulls down both her her wife beater underneath her tits and starts
breastfeeding right i'm trying to act cool trying to act cool and then the kid stops breastfeeding
and she just leaves her tits out so there's these two huge and then every once in a while like a guy
will walk by with the surfboard and i'm just like, I'm just like, look straight, Seve, look straight,
look straight.
Okay.
Hold on.
Let me check that off my list.
Work boobs into the show.
Got it.
Okay.
There you go.
Done.
We've done it.
We've done it.
No, I just, you know, everyone's got, again, everyone's got their own opinion.
Like you can, I'm not going to look at the comments, but I'm sure there's like 20 different
perspectives on what should be done. And I just, I just i don't i mean i think there's a lot of
things as an affiliate owners like i don't really you don't have to have an opinion about everything
too uh and just so you know she said she breastfed at the um uh at the affiliate so everyone everyone
settled down everyone's out now she's yeah i know level one even there
damn it would you say when going back going back so uh you were saying this thing about how uh the
gym needs to deliver results and there needs to be organized classes and um and then you and then
you also talked about um the community and the community is built around the fact that we're all
there doing crossFit, right?
Would you say that there's any – and let's just say in the most superficial sense or generic sense, it's the movements, right?
Yeah.
Would you say that there's a psychological profile for those people who do CrossFit too?
I don't say something like they're all into personal accountability or personal responsibility or they're all people who drive electric cars or like, is there any way you could like anything you would add to your day?
I'm just saying, is there anything else you see?
I think I mean, I think it's, I don't know if everybody's into personal accountability when they first come. I think that, I think that's even like a buzzword just in the world and, you know, places and resilience or teaching resilience and all, you know, all these like buzzwords around that. But basically no one owes you anything and no one's coming to save you. That would be another way to say it. No one owes you. And you can really, uh, create a
really happy, if you live by those two principles, you'll be a really happy person. And so I think
from a perspective, I think from a Roos perspective, I know that my coaches for, you know,
whether we attract that sentiment or they just have that sentiment and they've come to the gym,
I think collectively that is probably the underlying thing that really is something that they hold near and dear to all
of them of like, nobody, nobody's responsible for getting you to work hard. Nobody's responsible
for, you know, you have to show up and you have to do the work. No, because nobody is coming to
save you. That being said, if you surround yourself by all these people, you are putting yourself
in one of the best possible places on a day-to-day basis to have all of that awesome shit run
across your brain every single day.
And then that does bleed out into making better choices, coming to the gym more.
I mean, you see it all the time. Someone signs up for like a three times a week membership and
they're like, Oh, I'm just, I don't work out four, four times a week. I don't work out five.
And then within seven months, they're like, I need to go to unlimited. And then all of a sudden
they're coming five days a week and they're doing a double one day a week. You know? And I think
that's the, that's the, I think it's the potential to change your habits, but I don't know if that's
something that people come in with saying, that's why I'm here. I, um, I do think that there's a
big, and I know this has been something I've, I stress at the gym is that I want people to know
what CrossFit is. I don't want them to just come and be like, Oh, I go to this CrossFit gym. I want people to know what CrossFit is. I don't want them to just come and be like, oh, I go to this CrossFit gym. I want them to know why we do intensity. I want them to know
about GPP. I want them to know about the power output curve. I want them to know that when their
Fran time gets faster and their Cindy time gets faster and their 5k gets faster or Fran and their
Cindy time get faster. It's because a contributing factor was they ran a 5k every quarter for the
past year. Like I want them to
make those connections because without that foundation, it's like, you don't really know
what you're doing or why you're doing it. And you know, and I think that's so important. Like that
is one of the things that distinguishes CrossFit from so many other, um, things that call themselves
fitness or, or whatever. Um, is that there's a reason why we
do this stuff and the shit works. It fucking works. I mean, I, and, and people see it all
the time, but to trust it and that's what the coaching piece comes in to trust it. That's not
an overnight success. That's you coming in and seven years ago, not having a pull-up and having
a coach that forced you through
focused practice, you know, every single time that you came to the gym and held you to a
higher standard for you to allow you to see what was possible.
And then seven years later, after having two kids and starting without a pull-up, they
get their first muscle up or they're like, Hey, you know what?
I just ran a 5k 10 minutes faster than I did seven years ago.
But I don't think you get, I don't think that that happens if you just come, if you don't
have some understanding of what CrossFit is, because I think that's what makes a coach's
job harder.
And I know that, you know, I didn't read the comments, but I know I talked to some people
about the video and stuff.
And it was like, well, do you do that every day at the gym?
And yes, we practice the movements every single day at the gym when we're there with our,
you know, like in class.
It's like, I just don't know how I, you know, I don't know how you would do.
I don't know.
I can't believe that gyms don't do that either.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
I think I just think that in a in a big picture, all the shit that Greg wrote about how to do it and why to do it and the linkages between refinement of skills from the gymnastics community and the Olympic lifting community and the intensity piece, it works and it's there.
And so I know I'm like one.
Listen to this question. This is a great question and ridiculous at the same time.
Oh, good.
Nicole, do you think some people are too good to do classes?
I think some people can be too good to do classes if the coach hasn't stayed ahead of the curve.
So if you're, I mean, there are instances of that, right?
Like if you have an athlete.
I didn't think you were going to answer that like that.
Yeah.
But I think that that comes down to the coach responsibility of like, my job as a coach
is to stay 10% better than the best athlete at my gym as a coach, not as an athlete.
Right, right, right.
Good distinction.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like you, we, we owe it to them to be able to deliver to a higher level. And so
if, yeah, like if I've got Megan way in my class, uh, for a handstand pushup, yeah, I've had to go.
I mean, I will put Megan way again up against any, okay, Megan, I'm throwing you under the bus.
Uh, Megan actually worked with Dave, um, as like the best handstand pusher in the world, but, um,
worked with Dave, um, as like the best handstand pusher in the world. But, um, but, uh, I had to get better to be able to coach her within the structure of my group class. And so maybe that's,
you know, maybe for handstand walking, it's, it's, it's understanding like the, the balance point,
walking up an object and then having her walk up an object because yes, doing 10 foot walks
every minute on the minute for skill work is not going to be challenging for her. Right. And so
like, we have to stay ahead of the curve of our athletes. Otherwise, yeah, I do think there are
times where, you know, if you take out like the obvious, like the social, the fun part of class
and like any athlete could go and get the social fun part. Right. But if you're trying to make the
athletes better going to group class, I think you have to stay ahead. Now, in terms of like, if you are
ahead, do I think that like a competitive athlete can do well in class a hundred percent? And I
think they should. Doug, Doug Chapman used to say this, um, you know, remember Doug, Julie's old,
old coach. Um, if you, if you're, if you, if you are the best athlete in your gym, if you're saying that like
the competitive piece and like having people to train against is, um, is your thing and you don't
think you should go to class or whatever, he's like, you should be able to beat every single
person in every single class in every single workout. So it can't be like, well, I'm good at
the, like, I'll snatch heavier than everyone else. But when it comes out to Cindy, like I'm going to get smashed by endurance, dude.
Like, no, you don't get like, you gotta be up there. If you're, if you're really like
at the top, that, that top niche level. Um, it's, it's, uh, runs parallel to my kids coaches
for the things my kids do. I'm skill level wise. I'm not nearly,
I'm like nowhere near them. Like, I don't know shit about tennis or skateboarding or fighting,
but my kids spend a lot of time doing those three, like a lot, like daily doing fighting,
um, uh, skateboarding and tennis like daily, daily. And if I don't feel like, and I feel like
I'm in a competition with the, with the coaches.
And if I'm not, if I'm ever winning that competition, I know that coach isn't good enough.
Meaning if, if I, if I go there and my kids haven't done enough practice or if I didn't get them there on time, or if the coach didn't call me and been like, Hey, where were you
today?
Like, if I don't get that, like, if I don't mind feeling guilty or scared of my kids coach,
then I don't fucking want them.
Like, that's what I want to feel from the coach like some like oh shit like I'm letting the coach
down yeah I've experienced that with my kids coaches as well right you want to feel like
you're losing that battle because you need that pressure because it would be so easy to be like
okay it's 3 30 and it's gonna rain probably I'm not going to take him to tennis today and then
you don't go and it doesn't rain and you're not there and the coach calls and you're like hey what's up we're in the middle of
like a overhead um serving you know whatever uh cycle and you missed a day and you're like oh
fuck you know what i mean like yeah you don't want to fuck that up you're trying to get the
best shit for your kids and you want someone who's like holding you personally accountable
but it's kind of along that same way that 10 that you said and you want your athletes to feel like
they're going there.
People are going there to get something.
You know what else I offered?
Some people want to offer drinks and showers and smoothie bar and coffee shop.
And you're like, hey, if you come here, you're going to get better because I'm going to stay ahead of you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you cannot coach the lowest common denominator and
provide results to your gym. That's some, that's some Greg shit right there too. Yep.
You can't do it. You have to set the bar high and that's, you know, whether it's the whole,
you know, surrounding yourself with people that are better than you. Like that's a scary concept
for a lot of human beings in the world right now. Right. Like, say that again.
Sorry. I was reading something. I didn't listen to you, Nicole. Please, please. I'm so sorry.
Forgive me. Oh, you have too many things going on. I can't, I hadn't turned the comment thing
off. Let's say that thing again. What do you remember what you just said? Uh, oh, well humans
right now, like putting yourself in a sit, like if you think about it,
how do you get better?
Like one of the most proven things is to put yourself,
surround yourself with people that are better than you.
Right.
I thought you were gonna say,
stop watching porn.
Go on.
This is the next message.
Okay.
Kids.
Um,
uh,
but that's scary for people.
And,
and our current,
yeah,
it is scary.
And how people talk about everything is like, Oh, it is scary. And how people talk about
everything is like, oh, got to be safe. And you know, can't be too far out of your comfort zone
and stuff. And it's like, if you can change that and just be like, and call it out in your classes,
like, keep telling the stories of how the person went from here to here and help people see that
then people aren't nervous, right? But how many times have you as an affiliate owner, it's been like, well, you know, I, I, uh, you know, everyone's a lot better than me in class.
And it's like, yes. And that's a good thing. And this is why it's good for you. And we're
going to talk about it and you're going to feel good about it. Again, it's having that conversation
of like, I forgot your name. There's that. Um, I heard Serena Williams say that basically,
if you're not, even at my level, if you're not failing in training, you're not getting better.
Yeah.
And it's like, if you're not, if you're, if you're learning, you're winning.
Cause you know, I mean, I don't think I ever realized that gymnastics, like you just eat mat all day long.
How long have your kids been doing gymnastics?
Um,
I don't know,
four years,
five years.
Do you like them in it?
I do.
I love it.
Yeah.
One of them,
um,
does it,
um,
you know,
more like competitively.
So we'll have to figure out if she wants to do that.
And then the other one is a little bit of a bull in a China shop and has gotten a lot more graceful.
And that's been awesome for like other sports and things like that. So they just love it. It's great.
Uh, Jedediah Nelson, uh, coaching should not be whether you're doing it right or wrong.
Coaching should be how you can be better.
Meaning as the coach.
Yeah, I mean.
You should be focused on getting better.
Right, exactly.
And man, like I've failed a fucking million times as a coach.
Like if you think about it, like, I mean, how many times, I'm trying to remember this happened.
Oh, this happened last Saturday or Sunday when I was coaching.
There was a new guy in class. I didn't do his foundations. I hadn't been, hadn't been class at all.
Saturdays we do bigger classes. They're 24 people. So we've got a lot of people going on.
How many classes do you coach a week? Uh, right now I'm about, okay. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So new guy, just met him. The workout has a press, a push press and a push jerk progression within.
And then it's got some farmer carries in it. Main site. Great, great, great place for programming.
And I missed it, you know, and I go over and I'm like, OK, where are we at?
You know, he's like, oh, I'm on number seven of the 30. And I was like, oh, right.
Like you are going to fail as a coach it's how it was wrong
with being number 7 and 30 it was too slow he should yeah i just like yeah i couldn't really
lock it out and he was fatigued and i just missed it in warm-up i missed it oh isn't that interesting
and that stuck with you yeah uh do you uh is that hard for you when you miss it? Like, are you like pissed?
Yeah, I'm pissed at myself because usually it's, I just haven't like put myself in the right spot
to like kind of section everybody out on a Saturday to be like, okay, these guys have been,
these guys, I know I got to check their final weight in warmup and these guys, I got to check
in with them earlier. And I mean, it's amazing.
Like, you know, we cap the classes still at 12 people during the week and then we'll have
like two or three classes going on concurrently, but, um, with one coach, but, uh, I mean,
well, it's easy.
Like you have three classes going on at the same time with one coach.
No, no, no.
One coach per 12 people.
Oh, okay.
Yeah. Just 36 people uh melanie don't
tell me what to do uh seven uh ask nicole what she does at her athlete kickoff day to keep people
bought in what's athlete kickoff day uh we do i do called, um, athlete kickoff at the beginning of each year.
And I do a condensed talk of what is CrossFit, what is fitness and programming so that we're,
you know, so we're passing off on, we're passing off the education piece onto people.
And so that they understand they're more bought in throughout the year of why they're doing
what they're doing when they're doing it.
Like, why do you still come on the 5k day? Okay. You're scared to do it.
Great. Got it. But there's a million different options of how we're going to get you through it.
And this is how it's going to contribute to your fitness and dah, dah, dah, dah.
So we do athlete kickoff. I talked through that. And then we, um, and then we like this past year,
I, we did five, we picked five benchmarks and then we picked a
bunch of health markers and we had them plot it on the sick, well fit continuum, sickness,
wellness, fitness continuum, and then had them pick the one that was the furthest to the left
of the thing that, that, that was where they were going to address it. So like,
basically I took Helen and I gave like a stick Helen, a wellness Helen and a fitness Helen. And then I, you know, so I I'm, I'm applying,
I'm applying real numbers to a conceptual framework. I get that. But, uh, and then it
allowed people to figure out their number one health marker that they can improve and their
number one fitness marker that they can improve. And then being able to track that over the year
and then being able to also have that highlight to them you know kind of how to incorporate that so they don't skip those days or
the understand the importance of working their weaknesses and things like that so that shit's
scary to me what like what you just said even going to that day would be scary to me no no it's
fun it's fun all right if you say so yeah yeah no no it's a fun thing i mean i think yeah i don't want to know any of my scores because then i feel an obligation to them that's the worst
part about crossfit but the best part too what say it again the accountability part yeah the
accountability part yeah that part yeah i mean i a lot of it if you just get out into your community
that like weakness working your weakness is where it's at.
Failing is good.
Yeah.
And trying again,
you'd be surprised at how you can really change the entire perspective and
culture of a gym.
Or if it's,
everybody's afraid to fail.
Everybody doesn't want to scale everybody.
I mean,
you just got to embrace it and teach it and talk about it and put it out
there.
And I really,
I mean,
I think that's true of any sport though.
It's not just.
Uh,
Barry,
you asshole asked him on,
if he put his open scores after telling us to do it,
listen,
asshole,
listen,
I put in the first one.
I was traveling the second one.
I told you guys all the score.
I can't remember the workout.
And the third one,
there's no fucking way.
I was not going to do those 95 pound thrusters,
but it fucked me up.
I fucked up my back. And I don don't and i don't scale the open i just don't well that i respect we we
we don't let yeah we like if people are like i want to do an rx i'm like go for it try it yeah
i don't want to scale the open yeah i'm not scaling open, how do you pick up? How many coaches are at your gym?
Nine. Holy shit. How do you pick good coaches? Is it hard finding good coaches?
Yeah. How do I pick good coaches? I don't know. Luck and people, I guess.
Is the number one thing about being a coach, you have to be able to accept feedback?
No, I hate the word feedback. Okay. What's another word for it? I don't know if you'll take criticism uh, I think the number one thing to being a good coach is
Drum roll. I don't know. Um
I think you have to give a fuck
That's that's a great thing too. You got to give a fuck. You got to care that like, you know, the guy in your Sunday class didn't get the right push jerk weight and that affected his
workout. And that's the first interaction you had with him as a coach. And that's shitty.
That's on me. I think you have to, you know, if you take out the, I don't know, people used to
say like, you can teach anybody move, you know, to see movement, you know, you got to start with
a good personality. I kind of think they're a little bit more intertwined than that. I mean,
you do have to be able to see movement. You have to be able to coach movement.
I use the analogy a lot, but like a lot of people want to be a doctor. I want to be a doctor when I
was in college. And then I took organic chemistry and it was really hard and I failed it. And so
that flushed me out of being a doctor
and I found another profession. Right. Um, I think the same is true for coaching. Like not
everybody's meant to be a coach. That's okay. Not everybody's meant to be a doctor. Um, so there are
people that are going to like navigate and have like more, they're going to have more of a affinity
for that specific profession. So I don't know, finding good coaches, we put job ads
out. We make it be a real job. You know, we pay them real money. We do. What's the shortest you've
had a coach last shortest. You had someone come in after a week. You're like, Oh no, like two and a
half years maybe. Oh, okay. Shit. Yeah. Wow. Okay.
That's impressive. Yeah. Um, I mean we, but again, we start with like the right, it's not like, Hey, here are the keys coach.
Monday morning. I need a morning off, which doesn't really help.
Uh, Barry, uh, if you can get through the 9am MILF class,
you're good to go as a coach. Hers is 9.30.
It's not 9 a.m.
My wife was going to this class
for a year every morning.
She would tell me that it was just all
women.
All these moms and shit.
Then one day we're at the beach
and there's this guy laying out. I'm like,
holy fuck, look at this guy's fucking body. He's fucking like six foot two, just chiseled out of granite, right? Looked like an Adonis. She's like, oh, that guy's in my morning class.
What the fuck? She goes, what? I go, you said it was all women. She goes, oh yeah, and that guy.
And that guy.
I'm like, what the fuck? How the fuck did you forget that guy?
I'm like, what the fuck? How, how the fuck did you forget that guy?
Well, I mean, yeah, but that's like, yeah, every,
every hour of a class has a good vibe. It has a different vibe. Five 30,
you know, they've all got their vibe and they're going to talk down about nine 30
because you know, nine 30 has got their vibe and they're going to talk,
you know, not talk down, but you know, it's got their,
every hour of the day has their feel. That's fine.
And every class has like the hottest person in it.
Yeah.
There's always that one person who's like,
okay, that's the hottest person in that class.
Yeah.
These are just normal things in the world.
That video with CrossFit was so successful.
Do you have another one scheduled?
We do have another one scheduled,
and we're actually trying to do more of them because.
That's a good idea. Brilliant. Successful, useful, powerful, lots of views, engagement.
I was surprised. I don't know. Was it a lot of views? Did it's a great video tons of value there especially for the
affiliates but um the the media at crossfit's a waste it's a wasteland and so to put something
on there that gets 27 000 views and all those and all that engagement whether it's good or
positive is fucking amazing yeah i mean well i think like just in the big picture like the
you know and it's cheap that couldn't have been expensive to make that's cheap as shit right yeah right and i think i mean as an
aspiration like the more that we can do in the big picture for coaches to show examples of coaching
like that's you know it's it's like providing game tape right like right you could yeah perfect
perfect right and so like that's kind of been my thing
is like, we need to provide kids watched it. Nicole, my kids want my son Avi watched 20
minutes of it with me in the garage. And he was like, is that guy's in the, he's jumped in. Is
that guy's feet too wide apart? What about that? Why are they doing handstands like that? I'm like,
cause they're dumb and old, but like kids pick up on that. Yeah. And that's where I think it's
interesting. And so this is actually, okay. I'll try and make it concise. This is where I think showing what success looks like
and providing game tape is something that we can like from an aspirational standpoint, like this is
where we can provide really good examples. And when I say good examples, I don't mean perfect.
I don't mean that they're always like, it's not about showing perfection, right? Virtuosity, you know, whatever they want to call
it. Like it's not perfection, right? So in the uncommon, commonly or common, uncommonly well,
right? So like, it's not about like, oh, this was a perfect class. It's showing how real life shit
happens in class and then how you deal with it. And so like, I have the same, you know,
same thing with my kids. Like they'll come home, like we did PE, nobody touches their chest to the ground in the pushups. None of them count.
Yeah. Yeah. My kids are like, yeah, yeah. Actually, this one was really interesting.
One of my kids came home and they were like talking about PE or some class they were,
it wasn't PE, but it was like an afterschool class. It was for jump roping or something.
And she was like, well, the coach just,
the coach just talks the whole time. We never even get to do the movement. It's like, oh my God,
that's like a concept we teach at the level too. And she, she totally just said it. She's like,
how are you supposed to get better at it? If they just talk and talk, they just kept talking about
the movement. I was like, this is amazing. But my point is like, I think that so much of this
is being in the right environment.
Like if you grew up in a mechanic shop and your dad was a mechanic, you're going to pick up things
about how to fix a car just by being in an environment. Like, and so if we can provide
that environment to people in the sense of like giving them this video and giving more videos to
just show what CrossFit, you know, and then, then, you know, we're going to, well, that that's how
people are going to get better. Like, imagine if you were, if you ever think, okay, I know I get like
really deep into this shit, but like, I think about like my dad grew up listening to baseball
games on the radio. And then he grew up like literally reading the box score every morning.
And that was his, and then he played baseball on his own so there's no t there wasn't
he wasn't watching on the tv that was his that's how he knew baseball the radio and then all this
writing and so if we don't like he never had game tape to watch like what are the greats doing like
what does that look like now i'm not saying that we're the greats but you know what i mean like
it's the same thing we have to provide these examples and it's no different than when I watch the
games. Like I don't, I know that everyone thinks the games are on CrossFit.
I don't, uh, at all. Um, yeah,
if I go and I, and I watch Tia do a new one rep max squat clean,
like it's inspirational and I want to do better and I watch it and I study it
and I'm like, okay, okay. I can,
I can look, I can see that movement. I can, there's just so many things that we have to do
to provide real life examples. And I think providing the game tape is, is, uh, something
that we can do. Um, it annoys the fuck out of me when my kids are somewhere and they're warming up
for an event and all the kids are moving and like they'll be doing squats or or push-ups or
burpees and the coach and my kids look nothing like the other kids like nothing and the coach
isn't like occasionally it happens i'd say 50 of the time it happens the coach will be like holy
shit like everyone look at obvi's uh push-up or something but like half the time they don't even
notice and the kids are just like flopping around like jackasses i they're doing those push-ups that are like this you know where you go yeah i'm like you know my daughter
said she had a pull-up competition on the playground and i was like well did you win
and she was like no so and so did more than me and i was like oh. And she's like, yeah, but he only did this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like even in a kid perspective,
like they know what the full thing movement is,
but there's just so many examples and it doesn't really.
And you know why they're doing that?
Because they're avoiding discomfort.
It's not like in, it's not like,
it's like some insignificant thing
not to use full range of motion.
People don't use full range of motion because it's fucking harder um it's like some insignificant thing not to use full range of motion people don't
use full range of motion because it's fucking harder and there's more stimulus and there's
more engagement and they're avoiding discomfort it's like fucking uh it's like it's like lying
people lie to avoid discomfort you're fucking lying to yourself it's not i mean we're not asking
the kids to do something out of just some sort of like weird protocol. It's like, Hey, go all the way down, maintain,
maintain your range of motion,
make get full strength and all the fucking muscle groups recruit all the right
muscles.
Feel bad.
Does it say that? Right. Like if you correct them,
you know,
literally the difference sometimes could be the difference between a kid doing
20 pull-ups and three. And it's like, Hey, like, man, make them,
make them. Could you do a pull-up when you came to
crossfit i think i could do one i swam in college no i could do a pull-up i could do a pull-up yeah
how many could you do like one one and what's the most you've ever done in your life 21 wow
i was pretty excited about that wow and that, is that butterflying or stricter?
No,
strict,
strict 21 strict.
Wow.
I just started using grips.
Oh yeah.
What do you think about those?
I never used that shit.
I know.
Well,
okay. So I posted something about it that I was going to try grips.
I got a lot of comments from friends that were like,
we're taking your OG status or like, oh, damn, damn, damn, damn.
So here's a coaching miss of all the years.
So when grips first came around, what's the point of a grip?
First of all, what's the point?
Yes, that's what I'm getting at.
So in my book, when grips came around, it was because we were taping our hands because we didn't want to get blisters.
Right. And you didn't want to tear. That's how I guess I thought about it.
I didn't want to tear. And so that's what I always thought grips were for in my hands.
You know, I took care of my hands and I just kind of managed it. And I was like, well, fine.
Somewhere along the way, I missed that the way the grip operates, it allows you to not have to use your grip strength to stay on the bar.
So you can actually KIP harder when you get tired without having to hold on
harder through that more dynamic phase of the KIP,
which you're,
you would have to like grip more.
So I missed that coaching mess.
Um,
and I thought it was really interesting.
So I learned a lot.
Are you going to continue to use them? You think you'll, you'll just, yeah, and I thought it was really interesting. So I learned a lot.
Are you going to continue to use them?
You think you'll just, yeah.
I'm going to use them sometimes. I'm still one of those geeky people like that.
You know, I only do butterfly pull-ups every third workout
and I do kipping pull-ups for, I still stay with a kip.
Do you use a switch grip?
I see, I still use switch grip,
but I don't see a lot of people use that anymore.
I don't do the switch grip. No. no never did you used to back in the day no but somebody when i was at one of
the old crossfit competitions like way back in the day i remember she could get her chest to the bar
this way but not this way yeah i think that yeah right you get a little bit of an angle
i try to switch it all i try to switch it all around yeah do it all all things
what about um uh deadlift are you still uh overhand grip only exclusively because because
and not split grip no so well this is interesting so anytime it's in a workout i try and say double
overhand as long as i can like in a matcon and then in lifting like if we're doing a heavy day
i'll try and say double overhand until it gets heavy and then I'll mix grip. Um, but you make
script both ways. Will you force yourself to go? No, but what's interesting is I think that
I think that again, anecdotal evidence. So I'm, but I'm playing it out, um, for my athletes that
have been coming for a long time. So let's say like seven, eight, 10, 12, 15 years, I think if they have a shoulder issue, it tends to be on the underhand grip of
their deadlift. And they're always, they're always mixed gripping. It doesn't matter. Like
even when they're warming up. And so we've really been, I've been trying to like, just get people in
on, like, I think your scap just doesn't hold them or track the same way.
And you develop a different type of strength. And if you're, I mean, think about it, if you're
doing this for like a 95 pound deadlift, 155, anytime a deadlift comes up in any workout forever
for a decade, like there's going to be some type of different structural development.
And I think it affects the shoulder. So I've been telling my people to stay double overhand for as
long as a human, as long as humanly possible whenever I can.
Yeah, that's some pretty good information.
I have no scientific evidence on that, by the way.
When I – I don't know if it's me getting older, but when I started CrossFit, obviously it was way easier to do pull-ups using – doing chin-ups, right?
Pump with like this, my hands like this.
And then as I started doing CrossFit, I started doing all my pull-ups right uh pump with like this my hands like this and then as i started doing crossfit
i started doing all my pull-ups like this and then after years and years of doing them like this the
monkey grip and then switching back to what's this called a chin-up i noticed that i lost range of
motion like this oh interesting you know what i mean like it's tight now i feel like it wants to
pull back around it's a trip i don't know if it's how I got old, but it was just like this.
So now I thought I was the cool kid cause I could do more like this,
but now I'm forcing myself to go back to the chin ups.
I mean, do it all. Yeah. Do it all. Um, uh, as you get older,
is there anything that's just out like that? You've just like,
that you just don't do. No, there's no movements that are just out.
I'm a crossfit purist
like we know this i will wear oh you're just not old enough no you're just not old enough um
i yeah i don't i think i don't actually think that my movements i think i think it's all the
shit around my workout of the day that affects
What movements I can or can't do in the long run and that's just the effort outside of that for like sleep nutrition diet
Alcohol, you still do kettlebell swings
Yeah, yeah, you still do overhead squats
Yes, I love that. I'm gonna overhead squat forever. You still do muscle-ups. I still do muscle-ups
um, I was watching an andrew hiller video the other day and he was going through and showing people still do muscle-ups i still do muscle-ups um i was watching an andrew
hiller video the other day and he was going through and showing people doing their muscle-ups
and um he was showing the teens doing muscle-ups and i and i just can't fucking stand i just can't
stand the swinging muscle-up i especially for kids it fucking drives me fucking insane i don't know
why it just doesn't look like long term it's good for the body you know what i'm talking about like
when they're fucking parallel to the ground yeah swing and then they're
they jump up it's like dude well but i see i think this is like this is the age-old question of like
putting staples or um not staples what's the word i'm looking for
paper clips putting yeah putting automatic putting um non-negotiables oh on movements
um it's sort of like the whole thing about not letting somebody do a kipping pull-up before they
can do a pull-up right well to me that's a gap in coaching because if i can coach the athlete
to doing a tight kip where they understand what a kip is in relation to the pulling piece
and i'm not worried about the shoulder.
And I think that, and then obviously you're going to do them at the same time.
You're going to simultaneously have strict pull-ups and skill work as you're having kipping
pull-ups and you're not going to allow a lot of errant movement that's going to put a lot of...
What if they're fat?
What if they're fat?
What do you mean?
You let fat people do kipping pull-ups?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is something I don't agree with in a lot of ways.
I mean, not agree with, but I don't look at people when they walk into my gym and look at who they are and then categorize them into what they're capable of.
Because if you are overweight, that doesn't mean you can't squat below parallel.
You might not be able to.
You might be able to. I have people that are stick skinny that walk in mean you can't squat below parallel. You might not be able to. You might be able to.
I have people that are sick skinny that walk in and they can't squat below parallel.
So I think we get into this thing of like categorizing people when really as a coach, my job is to start from ground zero just like anybody or with anybody I work with and then figure out what's the thing that they need.
Let me throw this as an example out there. A couple of examples.
As you get older, like the difference between when I'm not warmed up and warmed up is like
massive. Yes. Like massive ones. Like, I mean, it's, it's fun. It's like inconceivable when
you're 25 years old to think about what the difference is between like, sometimes like I
eat picking up a 20 pound dumbbell is like, feels like heavy to me. You know what I mean? Or picking up my
kids is heavy to me. And then other times it's like fucking like nothing, like picking up the
70 pound dumbbell is just nothing to me. And it's all relative to how I'm warmed up. Let me give
you another example. When someone who's, when people see kids walking barefoot and they're
like, how do they do that? They forget that those kids weigh 32 pounds and so someone who's six foot four 250 pounds it's totally different walking barefoot
totally fucking different the bottoms of your feet are not tougher than those kids
and yet you have way more force on the bottom of your foot so rocks and stepping walking barefoot
it's going to be like way crazier for you okay when i see someone fat doing pull-ups
like what they can take at the bottom looks way what happens to them at the bottom looks
way different it's same with run people who run who are fat that's where you can make a blanket
generalization i think you have to look at the athlete i think you have to look at the individual
yeah i'm looking at them they're fucking you're you're you're five foot five 212 pounds and you
shouldn't be doing kipping pull-ups no i don't know i just by the way i
want you to be right i'm not trying to win i want you well you can be right we can argue
i just i think it i just i don't know i think a lot i don't think a fat person should be running
to lose weight well i mean i don't think a lot of people should be running to lose weight i
think we should trust their nutrition i guess maybe to even stay fit is what i meant i don't
know about that running is a basic human function hey and let me go on the let me go on the other
in this too i i i'm really disappointed at how much jumping up
there is on boxes and stepping down.
That's a pretty
popular thing in CrossFit.
If you can't jump down, lower the fucking box.
Jumping down is important.
You can even make the box four inches.
Literally, just four inches
up, four inches down. This whole thing
where everyone's now stepping up and stepping down like just i feel like in classes we don't allow steps you have to
lower the height so we if it's it says box jumps in class you can't step up to a 20 you have to
find a height that you can jump to because it's a box jump but i think that that's a good example
too of like so what are we trying to do with a box jump we're trying to we're trying to maintain
the function of being able to jump your body onto something so if every time a box jump. We're trying to, we're trying to maintain the function of being able to jump your body onto something. So if every time a box jump comes up for the whole time, somebody
trains, they just step up to a 20 inch box. We're not getting that dynamic component, right? So yeah,
the caveat is, okay, it's a box jump, but that means it has to be a jump. So whether you get a
45 pound plate and you're jumping three and a half inches, whether you're doing it with eight
inches, that's what we, that's what we're going to respect and care about, not respect, but that's
what we're, that's what the coaches are looking for. And
that's what we're embracing. So that's what the athletes do. Whereas I think a lot of times it's
like, what's seen is like, oh, well I got to the 20 inch box, but if you're stepping on it,
like you're not actually getting the stimulus of what was designed for why you're physically
jumping onto an object. And then if you really want to geek out about it, it's like, okay,
you know, if my dad's 82 and he maintains, you know, he goes to Connor's legends class and he maintains that he can jump on
a 25 pound plate. We know what, when he goes hiking, I'm not worried about him being a little
bit more nimble on his feet, but if he steps up to the 12 inch box, like that's not helping that
piece. I think there's a trickle down of like preserving what was put out there for
the athlete but relative to their ability and so yes i can see like again it's just like i don't
think we can put people into categories i just i don't i think that's a i i won't do it i won't do
oh what about um candlesticks you know what that is that's where you squat down you roll onto your back
and then you stand up yeah you guys ever do those not and i mean i think those are important for old
people oh yeah anyone over 30 yeah shit loads oh yeah here we go let's see if this guy does it
oh yeah that's cool yeah we've done that sometimes i can warm up and stuff like
that yeah um great ab workout too yeah like the next day you're like huh why is my stomach
storming you're like oh because i did 50 50 of those i make my kids do a lot of these
i mean pistol ones though one-legged ones yes well i think they're a beautiful bridge to a pistol too
right learning to come and throw that leg forward and then being able to take the momentum to stay forward over the middle of your foot on a pistol. I think it's great.
And what's that called when you lower? That's eccentric?
Yeah.
Yeah. And for the eccentric too. So even if you can't do a pistol, right? Oh, is that what you were just saying? You lower just on one foot eccentrically. And then when you stand up, you use two feet so that you still get some pistol training.
But you get lengthening under load.
Well, no.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean, basically you would be.
Well, it's more like that.
You're doing the when I was saying the roll up part, I meant like as you roll up and over that foot, being able to get on to the front of your foot and on the up phase.
Right.
Right.
on to the front of your foot on the, on the up phase. Right. Right. Uh, another good one about that since we're doing that, they did a shitload of candlesticks yesterday is, um, it's a great
place to start teaching chest up because in the beginning, my kids will like throw their heads
forward, but you can actually teach them to kick their heels so far into their butt that when they
stand up, they're like, they come straight up as opposed to, you know, like that coming over
forward and looking like a shitting dog.
That's also like a Greg thing of like learning, learning new movements.
You never know how it's going to play into your understanding of the pistol.
And so I think that that's like, that's also something that, you know, whether you look at that class or you look at other things in CrossFit, if, if you go and you play with skin, the cats, or you go and you play with candlesticks,
something in your brain is connecting that the next time you do pistols, you have a different
understanding of that movement and the balance around that movement, because you did something
that was like a second cousin or a first cousin or whatever to that movement. And we don't,
I don't think we do that enough sometimes. And I mean, we're guilty of it too. Like I always have to think about doing that.
Is skin the cat related to pistol?
No, no, no.
I was saying like control on the rings, control on the bar,
like understanding the relationship between like your kip swing
and where your shoulder is in space at each point.
Like there's just, that's how we make,
that's how you connect the dots on it. Like, I mean,
that's the whole transference of movement, right?
That's why you learn the overhead squat and you learn the deadlift and you
don't know how to jump on a box. And there you go. You can snatch.
Uh, flexonia, uh, seven should have, this is just retarded.
Just retarded talk. Now someone should have fat person with a perfect foot
ankle alignment, avoid sprinting while thin person with valgus ankles sprint.
I don't know anyone
who has vaginas on their ankles.
So first of all,
if you have a vagina on your ankle,
you should definitely not sprint.
Smarty pants.
There you go.
Should not be fat.
No, they shouldn't be fat.
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What do you mean sprint?
10 feet?
100 feet?
The fuck kind of question is this?
Ask what you really mean.
Say what you really mean.
Just say it.
What do you want to fight about?
Nothing.
Yeah.
Like a good fight.
I'm not a fighter.
You're definitely a fighter.
You're very,
you can be very,
um,
uh,
um,
commanding.
I mean,
there are moments at the CrossFit games where it takes a more firm tone.
Yeah, so what?
So what if I'm a little retarded?
My kids call me –
I don't know about you.
Just like, you know, things get hot for a moment,
and you just have to be like a little directed.
You know what I was thinking about the other day?
Do you remember when we were in that like little –
Oh, my God.
Sevan hates fat people.
I love fat girls. Are you out of your mind? Oh mind oh my god i think fat chicks are fucking awesome hot sorry go ahead
say that again sorry go back to commanding presence i apologize for dragging you into the
presence uh oh well one time i was just thinking like not having it do you remember that one time
we had to fly that tiny little plane to aromas. Yeah. Yeah. Not my, that was not my MO.
Not my,
that was not,
you know,
that was the beginning of the end for the CrossFit games that,
that,
that flight.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
The flight,
the flight that killed the games.
Probably so few people know that.
What a great story to tell in 10 years.
All right.
Well,
we'll meet back here in 10 years. All right. Well, we'll meet back here in 10 years.
All right. Are you going to make it? How much longer are you keeping your gym? Do you know?
I don't know. Um, you think like one day your kids will be running it like that long?
Well, I don't know. I just feel like, well, I'll be running it. Well, I have a 25 year anniversary. I don't know, Savan. 25 years is a long time to have a business.
I want to nominate you for CEO of CrossFit. I mean that. I'm not saying that lightly.
Wow.
Yeah.
Thank you. I don't know if that's up my alley. Yeah, it is.
You could totally do it. You've seen, you've seen everything. You've seen it all.
I've seen a lot of things. You know, it's all up there.
All right. Thank you for coming on. This is probably, this is, I can't believe I'm on,
I'm on a roll of easy podcast. I was actually'm gonna tell you something um i was actually thinking about canceling
oh because i got up at 3 a.m and i'm like but i just kept telling myself don't be a pussy
yeah don't be a sissy don't avoid the discomfort so what nicole will carry it if you fall asleep
i yeah i mean i you know sure i mean i, I had a moment there where I was like, Oh,
I got to go back to the gym now and do shit for the next 25 hours.
Did you almost cancel?
No. Cause it's you. I would cancel on you.
All right. Thank you.
That's what I meant to say. I would have canceled if it would have been anyone else.
There you go. That's what we were looking for now. I mean, do you know how many times I stopped that car from leaving without you?
So many.
And I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
All right.
Thank you.
All right.
Talk soon.
Keep up the good work.
You're the best.
Bye.
Fuck.
That's the first time I've hung out with her like that she's even cooler than I thought I thought she was cool
but that chick's fucking awesome
yeah she's way cooler
not that I had any preconceived notion about who she was
but she takes really good
care of me at the CrossFit games and has my back
but I'm also always a little bit of afraid of her
like I respect
her I mean she's always been good
to me she has never like barked at me
but she like i like a nicole uh yeah yeah like they're boss women like yeah it's like they're
boss women they're controlling the space around them very well she controls the space around dave
very very well that's cool yeah i like how she can she can, she can anger translate. Yeah. That's the most chill I've ever seen her.
Yeah.
That was all Dave.
Go fuck himself.
Well,
uh,
Matt said he's just a little disappointed.
Um,
it was pretty funny.
I have to pee so bad.
I want to tell you,
I want to tell you about the live stream.
Did you watch any of it?
From Europe? Yeah. The, the parking lot stream. Did you watch any of it? From Europe?
Yeah.
The parking lot cam.
Did you watch any of that?
Yes.
I watched a little bit of it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to take a...
Can you hang out with me?
Are you back at the Shattuck Inn?
I am.
What the fuck?
Okay.
Hey, I'm going to take a quick...
What the fuck? Okay. Hey, I'm going to take a quick break. I'll just run a commercial. I'm going to pee and I'll be right back. This is called Melanotan 2.
It's supposed to accelerate tanning and it's also supposed to increase sexual arousal.
I think that the second one is actually more of a side effect than it is the main goal.
Everybody wants to know how to reconstitute these things.
Remember, the first thing is that you need the bacteriostatic water.
Second thing that you need to do is you are constantly using these alcohol swabs.
Now, here's the thing.
You got two separate needles.
Never reuse the same needle.
What I'm going to end up doing is I'm going to put two milliliters of water into there. using these alcohol swabs. Now here's the thing, you got two separate needles. Never reuse the same needle.
So what I'm gonna end up doing is I'm gonna put
two milliliters of water into there.
It's just sucking the water in there.
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
That's how you know that the peptides are good.
Now I'm insane, so I like to re-sterilize the top of it.
I just put the pad on there and I just twist it.
And I'm just gonna go right here, right next to my belly button.
So I pull this out, put the tip in, yeah, just the tip.
So there's no air bubbles in there, so you give it a flick, the bubbles rise at the top. Pull this out
and then I just stick it in my stomach right there. Very slight little pinch. It's like the world's
smallest bee. It doesn't even matter. I'm done. Just like that.
Wow. You have the best timing. Oh shit, I have water in my hair. I'm glistening.
You have the best timing of anybody.
Say that again?
Do you have a scar on the side of your head?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
I was in a bike accident as a kid.
That's why I'm...
That is gnarly.
Yeah, crazy, right?
Oh, shit, my glasses are wet.
My vision's all fucked up.
I had a subdermal hema
yeah
damn dude yeah
they had to keep
me under for three days
unconscious so that that shit
could heal
I have to do one thing really quick
I'm trying to get
is that girl's name?
Kelsey keels.
He'll no,
just singular keel,
Kelsey keel because,
but,
but everyone calls her Kells.
Kells.
Yeah.
Okay.
She goes by Kells or Kelsey.
That's what I'll be.
Uh,
uh,
Oh,
uh, Oh So
A.m. Is no good. I'm trying to get her on the show before the
Yeah, that'd be sick. Yeah, it sucks because it'll just be a half 45 minute show so morning
is no good question mark
or
Tuesday is no
good
I better only ask one question
at a time I'm going to confuse the text thread
but people I guess people
call her Kells
that's it Kz seems about right
i've never known a kelz uh kelz is a specimen that's for sure i think it's more like kelz
i have new headphones oh you do yeah somewhere I have so many fucking headphones
yeah I have new headphones
it's almost time
not quite
almost
as soon as we get the
big massive sponsorship deal
signed for Kill Taylor
I'll pull out the new headphones
so
okay so what are you doing back at the Shattuck Inn
are you done in Kansas or Wichita or wherever you were uh yeah i'm done in texas oh congratulations thanks it was
cool you passed the test on the first run first run yep i made it all the way through uh no hiccups
really other than just uh i failed two tests and but i passed them on the retake, so I didn't get delayed or anything.
You didn't have to stay an extra two weeks?
No, I did not.
So, yeah, I'm good for now.
I might have another school coming up over a month, like after semifinals.
How long will that school be?
That one's a little bit longer.
Holy shit.
Back to Texas or wherever you went?
This one will be in Florida.
So I'll go down to the panhandle
for like six to seven or eight or nine months
depending on how stupid I am.
And
yeah.
Take another
do another course.
I'm trying to look for this article that...
Scotty Sheffer arrested, released at PGA Championship.
Did you hear about all that?
No.
So he...
There's a whole timeline to it i guess but um jay busby reports from louisville on how
the world's number one golfer was detained by police and then released on friday morning
following a traffic incident oh it's because he's black so there was an accident where a
pedestrian was killed outside of the pga tour and sc Scotty Scheffler was stuck in traffic.
And I guess he went a wrong way
or did something not with the grain.
And then he got into an argument
with the police officers.
And then assaulted...
I guess they said he assaulted one of them
and then they detained him
and put him in jail. So from 6 am to 8 40 a.m he was in jail they even like put him in an
orange jumpsuit and everything is there a picture of it oh that's awesome for the two hours he was
in prison come on fucking fuck it. They have an orange jumpsuit.
Oh, shit. There's video.
Oh, really?
Here we go.
Awesome.
It's not great, but...
Is it when he's getting taken to the police car?
Oh, why can't I see it?
Maybe I have to go to this?
Yeah, that works.
I don't know what this is.
Guys.
Guys.
Dude.
Stay back.
Back up.
I'm back.
Wait, that's the number one golfer in the world?
That's like today's Tiger Woods?
I don't know if he's number one, but he's pretty good.
Like if you're a golfer, you know who he is?
Yes, of course.
Oh, he is number one.
You're right.
Oh, he drove in the shoulder.
This is amazing, dude.
There's one black golfer and he gets arrested. I'm staying back. This is amazing, dude. Guys.
There's one black golfer who gets arrested.
I'm staying back.
He's not black.
What?
He's not black.
He's not black?
No, he's a white guy.
Then what's he being arrested for then?
Right now, he's going to jail.
Okay.
He's going to jail, and it ain't nothing you can do about it.
Ain't nothing you can do, but I'm Tyler Watkins' cousin.
There ain't nothing you can do about it.
I love that cop.
He's so good.
There's nothing you can do about it.
That dude should not be running or doing box jumps.
He probably should be doing all of those things this guy sounds like travis bajan
that guy uses metoothian for sure look at his fucking grills tight
no problem you got it.
He's awesome.
I love nice cops.
What a cool guy.
Alright.
Step back over there now. Just go ahead and chill out. Everything's cool.
I just
want to know
what he was arrested for.
I guess they tried to pull him over and he kept
going like like a pregnant woman i think there was a a pedestrian got killed outside like in that
area and he tried to go around to get onto the course because they were he needed to be there
for the first round and uh they were like what are you doing you can't do that and then they um
stopped him detained him
i don't know they're cool about it though damn someone needs to make a meme of him in blackface
let's go uh pave way from uh uh anyway that's cool. All right. Fuck Whitey.
Fuck that dude.
He does sound like Travis, doesn't he?
Listen, when I met Travis for the first time, I was like, oh, my God, if I could.
What are these?
Like memes?
Yeah, it's just like every Friday they'll just post this
spring of
just...
How come I don't get any of these?
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't know who those guys are.
I definitely don't get it.
Who's that? Tiger? No.
Tiger Woods and the reflection of his sunglasses.
No, that's not Tigers. Don't be racist.
That's for sure a Tiger, dude. Okay, that's not tigers. Don't be racist. That's for sure.
It's tiger, dude.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
All right.
That's a golf course.
Yeah, but you just see a black dude and you think it's tiger.
That is not tiger.
I don't think.
Look how puffy that is.
All right.
Fine.
All right.
This is, this is, uh, the, what's his name?
Prince Charles or whatever the fuck.
This is his painting but this
guy's on it you don't get this joke because i don't get this joke either but i know tyler walken
sent something to the chat i do not understand tyler walken's humor at all that's why i get
along with him so well i've fucking every single video he sends i don't even get it at all he's so
fucking weird i i get the only one i get is the one with tits Sidney Sweeney
who is that
Sidney Sweeney
who's that
just a dumb blonde with big tits
are those real
no
yeah those are real
jeez Louise
she's great
yeah she is great I had a girlfriend like that when i was 18 she was 23 it was great
um to be alive uh what were we talking about before uh oh when i first heard travis bajan talk
i i was in i was in a hotel in in Kansas somewhere. And I'd gone out to film the movie pulling John.
I was probably 30 years old.
And I just remember thinking that he was every young white boy's wet dream to
be, to, to sound like him, to sound like you were hood like that.
Like, I just like, just,
I knew so many white guys who wanted to sound like Travis,
but he actually sounded like that.
He actually, you know what I mean? Like if you hear Travis talking on the like Travis, but he actually sounded like that. He actually,
you know what I mean?
Like if you hear Travis talking on the phone,
you think he's a black guy.
And then when I went out and film with him,
like it was like he played on a flag football team and it was just fucking
like him and like 40 black dudes.
Like that all look like James Townsend.
It was,
it was so fucking cool.
He was the kind of dude who would just drive his Escalade out onto the
football field and parking, get out and start playing.
That's how lazy he was.
It's fucking ridiculous.
Yeah.
I was like, fuck.
He's like, God, if I could sound like him.
But my dreams have changed.
Sebon not knowing who Sidney Sweeney is to seeing boobs to yeah, she's great.
She's not really like she's an actress, but it's a Tyler Watkins from the heat one app.
It's okay.
Most things I send her for me.
That's like my sex life.
Most of it's for me.
Okay.
So Caleb.
Yes.
Being that I am a...
Heterosexual white male?
That's questionable.
Being that I am the most knowledgeable person in the entire CrossFit space about all things CrossFit...
Certainly.
I had to get up this morning at 3 a.m. to watch european semifinals as one does being the greatest and my
friend chase ingram was uh hosting it and if i hated someone i would do exactly what they did
to chase oh i would set up a parking lot camera where you can't tell anything that's fucking going
on for the first fucking 20
minutes where the athletes look like little ants on the field and then i would and then and then i
would make it so 80 of the event you can't even watch because it's off screen it's running and
then i can by the way there was a girl he was with actually all the people running was outside
not even a camera i don't even yeah you didn't see any of
the running i did i i was actually blown away there was a girl with him wearing a black shirt
huge boobs she was fucking amazing really yeah she was i don't know does anyone know that girl's name
we don't know who she is dude she knew her shit dude really. Really? Yeah, her and Chase killed.
Her and Chase killed.
That being said,
when Brian friended Zelos Games,
he like went back to like 1940 radio commentator.
Why the fuck wouldn't you have put Brian and Chase on this?
This is fucking insane, dude.
They made Chase fucking...
You thought she was awful awful i thought she was wonderful
i loved her i liked lucy too was that lucy that girl that girl's only 17 years old that girl
and again she looks like she's 30 lucy mcgonigal dude yeah uh uh her name is titiana there's no
way that's really her name i didn't see hymie go oh lauren that's what it is lauren smith thank you she was fucking the shit
i liked her i liked looking at her i liked every she knew she knew so much shit i couldn't fucking
believe it she could be on she could be on our show she knew so much shit really dude i'm telling you she knows she knew so much stuff
and yeah dude brian would have murdered uh murdered this brian and chase would have
murdered this how they didn't have brian friend do this i have like
dude it was so bad dude i was trying to think i was trying to think have i ever seen a sporting
event that's presented worse i watched high rocks once and i'm like fuck this is the dumbest thing
ever this this actually took the cake i mean chase saved it and that chick lauren saved it
and the the other guy even the geeky dork dude uh wasn't horrible i'd give him a b even
all the people were good uh lauren myth lauren smith is the shit she was a floor announcer
for masters fitness collective last year had dinner with her sunday night she's cool as fuck
dude i was into her she's the shit her and chase killed i was like so nervous for chase
i like text him i'm like you got this buddy you're gonna do great but really my mind is like you're fucked yeah this chick she's
dope
let me see that picture of her with the cleavage
please uh huh
yeah lord almighty
yeah
she was she was fuck man she knew
her shit that's a epic
photo
my god that's
an epic photo she's wonderful anyway uh man it was the worst um
look at even audrey sheesh mcgee's yeah
and she talks good and she has an accent but it's not so fucking
it's not like fucking Pedro's
where you're like
what the fuck did she say
oh look at Jake Chapman
we make great boobs over here
her hair was awesome
she fucking presented good
she fucking kept
she kept up to track on Chase
and I don't know about her
but I have to guess
Chase hasn't fucking slept in three days yeah he just got there like yesterday kept she kept up to uh track on on chase and i i don't know about her but i have to guess chase
hasn't fucking slept in three days yeah he just got there like yesterday fuck that uh jessica i
was thinking the same thing that can't be fun i actually thought that one time too i thought
fuck her back must be killing her because she was sitting straight the whole fucking time oh shit
probably right yeah that sounds horrible but man the feed was a fucking disaster dude it like
if i went there it would be such a fucking turn off i felt yeah she was wonderful look at her
she did great
they had these poor two had the fucking camera on them forever i have these are the things i was thinking i was thinking
her boobs must be sore i was thinking or her back must be sore i was thinking how does uh chase um
like adjust his balls or you know like when you're sitting that long like you got to like peel your
nuts off your thigh or like you got to move your dick around like you got i'm an up guy so like i
gotta i do that thing where i slide my fingers on my penis to pull it back up. Yes.
I was thinking about all that shit.
I was like, how does he do that?
What's he going to... Like, if you're uncomfortable, you just got to...
You know what I mean?
You know, like, when you're hanging out with your mom,
and, like, you don't want to do that.
You don't want to reach your hand in your pants and adjust your dick.
It was like that.
It's crazy.
Seveve great question
are your tits why you have back problems
could be god my tits are huge
dude
my tits are so fucking big
it's probably
damn near C
oh my god it was so fucking bad
how
they how did you not even get how why wouldn't you just
set up two more cameras on there and give chase
a switcher and and then use it
why don't you use a wider shot like
he has to pretend to be professional
when it's not professional do you know what I mean it was
like a fucking total disconnect
like they should it was nothing
like when him and Adrian Conway and Kalipa
did it like hey dude
if it's gonna be a shit show, you got to roll with the shit
show.
That's how we do it.
That's how we did Zellos games. That's how we do all
of our shit. Instead,
it's like this weird, like,
it would be like if I
walked into the
Shattuck Inn and you had this glass case with like
a nice light on it and a Ming
vase in it from the Ming Dynasty. Like, what the fuck is that doing here i was a total it would be like if you
hung your clothes up it would be like like if i went in the shattuckin and you had some hangers
and they're hanging i would be expecting to be hanging on like an old electrical wire somewhere
on the wall i wouldn't expect like a really nice closet with glass doors and then your clothes behind it good because that's the exact that's exactly what you're gonna get
savvy have you ever had an extra had a boner you've been extra proud of dude
i'm proud every time this morning because i got up at three this is a true story because i got up
at like i think i i think i suspect i don't know this for a fact but that my dick is hard from 3 a.m to when i get up maybe 2 a.m just fucking raging and so when i got up at
three i had this raging heart and normally when i get up to do the podcast like my heart on goes
away like in like a few minutes i make coffee and it goes away but this morning i just sat there
watching chase and lauren and i was hard for like four
hours like painfully hard it was just i was in that i was in that night you know what i mean
you know what i mean like that night that nighttime mode i have to just to guess um
that means you have good blood flow i guess or you really have to pee i really i get the i get
the best boners when i have to pee like first thing in the morning. And then it's the worst because then I can't fucking pee.
I got to like post up,
try to myself to fucking just kind of gently push against it.
Yeah.
Hey,
that's fucking.
And Jake,
you know what I do too?
Like I don't push it down like with the thumb or gently.
I treat it like it's like a fucking,
like a 30 pound sledgehammer.
I put my whole,
let's say,
let's say this is my penis right here.
I put my whole hand on the side of it
and then just gently push it down.
Like I treat it like, like with respect.
You know what I mean?
Just like, like, hey,
this is going to take a little bit of coaxing.
That's right.
Paper Street Coffee.
Mine gets harder as I make coffee.
By the way, people listen to this crazy shit.
I'm so glad you're here, Gabe.
Uh, wait till you hear this.
Um, uh, um, uh, where, where is it?
Um, hi, Se Sevan it's Kelsey
uh tier sports
shit where's the
where's my uh oh here we go
here we go um
you can win two tickets to the
crossfit games like the fucking best seats
in the fucking house okay listen
listen everyone listen
we should clip this as a clip you can win
two tickets to the best seats at the CrossFit Games.
They'll be at the end somewhere, like where the winners run across at Dickey Stadium.
They're like $1,000 tickets apiece.
You can win those if in the next three weeks you make any purchase at PaperStreetCoffee.com.
That's over $100.
P-A-P-E-R-S-T-Coff coffee.com that's over a hundred dollars p-a-p-e-r-s-t coffee.com
any purchase over a hundred dollars will get you an entrance to win multiple entries are encouraged
so listen do you understand that so if you're gonna buy if you're gonna buy 212 dollars worth
of shit buy one for 100 and one for 112 or one for 101 and one for $112. Or one for $101 and one for $111.
And by the way, they have... They also...
You can go to the website and they have...
New tumblers.
Paper Street Coffee.
Oh, it's ceramic.
Ceramic tumbler.
And you can use the code word SEVAN
and you get some sort of discount.
SEVAN.
S-E-V-A-N.
Flex on you.
SEVAN has no clue where the seats are for the tickets.
Don't ruin my bit, dude.
Don't ruin my bit.
If you have $100 worth of coffee
and you use the discount do you still
get entered into the thing that's a great question you get 15 off if you use code word
seven i don't know if you i don't know if you i don't know so if you buy a hundred dollars you
get the 15 off and your order is only 85 do you still get entered in the tickets probably not
oh okay so i gotta buy 115 worth of coffee coffee use code savan and then i get it something
very close to that i just made a goddamn order i hope you know after oh i hope you made it but
uh you maybe you got entered cory maybe you got entered this has been going on since uh last night
oh here you go they're in front of the finish line 12 rows back that's pretty fucking good yeah take that
motherfucker flex on you alina if you're if you have a vowel if your foot is in valgus position
and you're perfect weight but someone has the valgus in the right position
right next to the labia majora uh but they're fat do you think they should be running still hey dude nothing's absolute you're not an absolute retard flex on you you're just partially you're
partially retarded so maybe that maybe there is an exception but i'm speaking saying in general
fat motherfuckers shouldn't be running what is it there's some like there's some like every time you run it's like 10 times your weight
is being put on your knees so if you weigh fucking 400 pounds it's
fucking 4 000 pounds of stress on your knees or some shit like that
that's on mike mccaskey doing the math at 11 $117.65, you stay over $100 with discount.
There you go.
Thank you.
Thanks.
That's at least.
Oh, you fucking dipshit.
You just proved my point.
Sevan, you moron.
Seve, you moron.
You imbecile Seve.
You douche canoe Seve.
Look at every NFL lineman.
Exactly, dude.
Exactly.
My point exactly.
My point exactly.
That's why they're not the fucking wide receivers.
Ho.
Yeah, that's true.
That's why fat guys have calves of gods.
The skinny guys have way more knee injuries. Yeah, that's true. That's why fat guys have calves of gods. The skinny guys have way more knee injuries.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, because they run further, dude.
And because their valgus and their labia aren't aligned.
I mean, any lineman that doesn't have three knee braces on both knees.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, dude, and some people weren't injured by the vaccine, too.
Fucking tarted
ups man calves yeah that's a good point yeah there was this uh the biggest calves i ever saw
on a human being was in san francisco they got all the steep hills and it was a it was a fat
uh postman he was pushing that thing fucking up a hill
The stroller that just has
Like one handle you push with
I remember his calves were massive
Yeah I bet
That's wild
Mike McCaskey
I love a non-aligned labia
Alright The stream was All right.
The stream was the worst camera.
It was a parking lot cam.
The Masters, I guess they did that to make the Masters feel better.
And they succeeded.
There's nowhere to go but up from what they presented this week Chase saved the show
Lauren Smith all those people the talkers
they saved the show
it it uh
yeah it was it was embarrassing it was it was it was a step back for sure um it screamed everything that was uh it was not people in the comments
were like hey it's better than nothing be thankful you have it it wasn't like that it was worse than
that you you couldn't be you couldn't because you know that they had the equipment there and
they had chase there and just the execution of it if you were going to do that you should have
been chased like you should have allowed them to make fun of it they should have been laughing you
should have used a wider shot they should have been more chill they should have been chased like you should have allowed them to make fun of it they should have been laughing you should have used a wider shot they should have been more chill they should have been
sipping coffees there was this total fucking disconnect it was like the guy who shows up to
a fucking a casual party in a business suit it was fucked like like i said if i if i hated chase
i would uh i would do that to him it was a a fucking embarrassment. It's really hard
to hate Chase. Yeah.
I agree.
Super fucking annoying.
Asymmetric
ears, CFHQ just following the same script
as the Biden administration every day
is a new low. I mean, that's
fucking, it's a great
Jesus Christ. It's a new low. I mean, that's fucking, it's a great Jesus Christ.
It's a great comparison.
Do you remember what a shit show
that thing J.R.
Taylor and Will Branstetter did at Wadapalooza?
I do remember it. I don don't and was that funny as
fuck or what it was pretty great oh my god every time something went wrong it was like your favorite
part people not answering they flashed to the crowd and there's like 11 people watching them
sitting on boxes and shit everybody this has been so much fun i appreciate you all
being here and they're like crickets it's like i just oh my god it was great like dude
the people in the chat saying like uh i i i get the sentiment of saying it's better than
nothing or we should be thankful we have something it's like dude this isn't fucking
ethiopia and we should be happy that they dropped us off a pallet of fucking canola oil
from fucking 30 000 feet this is fucking they're in a fucking stadium where they could have easily
for free they could have just set up two more cameras. Like, any fucking dickhead could have done that.
Any jackass could have done that.
Dude, the new iPad, you can hook four iPhones up to simultaneously and stream from it.
Like, that would have been better than what they did.
For sure.
Seve, daddy is broke.
But broke is fine.
But why stupid?
Yeah, Don Fall said they're reducing costs.
Yeah, they didn't reduce costs.
They reduced fucking brain power.
It was so fucking bad.
I watched it on a fucking 90 inch fucking tv still can't make out the names on the floor you could i mean you couldn't see shit they kept
talking about lanes i'm like what fucking lanes i don't even see fucking lanes did anyone see
yeah they were in a fucking circle yeah square hey square. Hey, Daniel Garrity, fuck your wife.
That's fucked up.
My wife just asked if Caleb also has lice.
I've been losing my hair for the past 10 years.
Good.
Take some shit out on Caleb.
I've taken enough of an ass pounding this morning.
Fuck you guys.
Hey, dude, I got fucking.
There was no sun out yesterday and I played tennis with my kids for two hours.
My head hurts so fucking bad, dude.
It's the first time you had seen the sun in probably years.
Oh my God, it hurts so fucking bad.
You start to feel that like tingly sensation and you're like, oh my God, my shit's scorched.
Scorched, dude.
I did take a cold fucking shower because even warm water hurt it.
Yeah, that's the worst.
Your shit's going to be red for like a week.
And then it'll peel and then it'll look like you have lice again.
But it's just your skin peeling off your head.
Dude, that's how bad it was.
Anything would have been better.
Jake Chapman writes, yeah, watching Running Outside would have been so fun.
Dude, I'm telling you.
For sure.
Poor fucking Chase had to fucking sit in front
of this fucking camera and talks make shit up while they were fucking running for two and a
half fucking miles i can't tell if you're joking or not but like at least then we could have we
could have seen some passing the whole point of sport is tension there was a great finish i mean
if you were following along and it's like if you tuned in late
you have never seen it, but there was a great finish between
Christy Kringle and
Amy Kringle
Amy Kringle and
The Magawa girl Gabby Gabby oh
He's being sarcastic. Thank you. Oh, I know he's being sarcastic. But it's never even...
It's not even an appropriate time to be it.
He said the entitlement is mad.
What does that even mean?
Oh my God. Are you fucking kidding me, dude?
The entitlement is...
Buddy. Buddy.
Here, how about think of it this way?
How about you think of it this way?
If you came home and some guy was fucking your wife with a one-inch dick,
wouldn't you be disappointed?
That's what it was like.
Just think about it.
That was my fucking bride out there getting fucked with a one-inch dick.
You following the metaphor?
The comparison?
I mean, it's pathetic.
We did a better job at fucking Zellos games
when Brian was on a fucking laptop
hanging over the front wire with
the front rail.
You're a dumbass.
Yeah, Jake, you dumbass.
Fine, it is entitlement.
Yeah.
Yeah. fine it is entitlement yeah yeah i mean here's the thing i can't make any sense of it i cannot make any fucking sense of it
it fucking so
disappointing
especially in
Europe where like
you have people
that you want to
watch
people that are
big names and
will do well and
actually make a
good competition
Kevin Doyle
Brian did a
Brian friend did a
great job at
crash crucible
uh cameraman commenting simultaneously all right then no more compliments for brian that's it done
no more
seve you get chubbed up for the west i'm so excited
i'm i'm i'm a little anxious because today's is today thursday or friday friday it's friday and i don't have my camera
gear packed and my day is so fucking busy my days are so busy between now and uh
wednesday i'm like i'm feeling so anxious about making sure i get all my gear
like loaded i i got a my wife rented me something massive like an escalator a suburban or something
oh shit fucking can you fucking believe Taylor he's like I fly in Wednesday I fly in will you
pick me up from the airport it's like dude I'm the fucking man what are you talking about pick
you up yeah and he's like will you be shuttling us I'm gonna fuck you get an uber dude yeah
shut it out yeah you're the fucking help.
Tell me the fucking...
I'm shuttling us to the venue in Carson.
You just gotta...
Everything, you just gotta figure it out yourself.
You can't rely on anybody.
Taylor's coming to the West.
Why?
Dude, we're gonna do a fucking live.
Him and Branstad and JR are doing shows from the West.
It's gonna be dope it's pretty crazy it's gonna be a world-class shit show and full seven cast podcast uh glory
and he's got to do fine he's still got to find a place to do kill taylor world-class shit show
that's right i'll remember this when you guys want the games outside the US.
Oh God.
That's a fucking horrible idea.
Shut it.
Jake had enough of you today.
Games are never leaving the United States of America.
Trump country.
They do.
I just won't watch.
I don't give a shit.
American sport. Yeah. you guys are just participating
we allow you to do that
you're welcome
so I heard some crazy shit
in the last few days
I'm looking for a big
massive sponsor for Kill Taylor
I think it's the biggest show in the space by far I think it's I'm looking for a big massive sponsor for kill Taylor. Uh,
I think it's the biggest show in the space by far. I think it's, um,
the most exciting thing going to sport.
I think it's the first piece of content.
I think of all the content that's ever been created in the CrossFit space,
as long as I've been in it since nasty girls,
it's probably the first thing that actually can transcend the CrossFit space.
And I want to raise the um prize money
and we've had some good sponsorship offers but like nothing like nothing um you know 10 20 30
thousand dollars but like it needs a massive sponsor it needs like a sponsor that like
wants to be ubiquitous with crossfit wants to basically own the space it needs to be like a
i don't know at least it's like a two hundred thousand dollar sponsor for the year and it
needs um so we can raise the prize money and just really fucking uh just take it to the fucking next
level right make it a thousand dollars a week make it roll over just just it just needs to be fucking wild and so until then um we're so lucky
that we we have listeners like fucking cory who are going to put up uh a five hundred dollars a um
a show you know and we have we have like 20 people lined up already who are going to put
in the five hundred dollars a show but i don't want to like. I don't want to merge the.
Like if Coca-Cola jumps in as a sponsor. I want to be like yeah we love Diet Coke.
And drink one in every show.
And I want to do that for like 52 weeks.
Right.
Riley.
Riley.
500 times 52 weeks equals $26,000.
I don't understand your point.
I don't understand your point.
Are you saying that that's all the sponsorship money we're going to need?
Who the fuck's going to pay for the accountant and the taxes and the hours it takes to fucking get those people that fucking money
and all the people that come on the show free every week?
And who's going to pay my uh seventy eight hundred dollars a month
and fucking mortgage my kids jiu-jitsu classes and fucking buy caleb a can of paint for the
shattuck and here's another thing too i don't want anyone i don't want anyone involved in it
who doesn't believe it's that show if you don't believe it's that show get the fuck out the people who are paying 500 but cory believes in the show
It's that show
I'm telling you it's that show. It's that show that show is finally here
You've been watching crossfit for 15 years. That show is finally fucking here
Oh, please jake says when do I claim my royalties for the idea of the show
I'll tell you what when we get get that $200,000 sponsorship,
we'll come to Isle of Man for fucking 10 days
and we'll do two shows there.
That's for sure.
I made that mortgage number up, Judy.
Everything I say is made up.
I know paint is expensive.
About two gallons.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy.
I had to paint the whole fucking place.
It was insane. I had to get like five gallon
well first i had to get it take kills which is like stuff that kills scents and shit i had to
paint this whole fucking place with kills so that's the brand that's the brand of paint right
it's a it's a brand of paint that like a primer, but it gets rid of all the nasty smells and any whatever nasty shit's on the wall.
You just paint over the nasty smells.
That's exactly what I did.
I'm going to be honest.
That's exactly what I did.
Because I didn't want to tear out all these walls and have to redo everything again.
So I just painted it.
Eventually, I'll probably tear it out and put more shit up there.
But anyway, that was a crazy
amount of money because I had to get like
two five gallon buckets of that
and then I had to go
through and get
probably six
gallons of paint to paint the rest of it.
Oh, that's
not very much. It's expensive
though. Caleb, my buddy just bought a house oh boy
and he tore out one of the walls yeah and he found fucking uh uh silver bars and a gun
shut up yeah crazy right all i found were political signs like they were like in my walls
they use them as walls that's so. I didn't find any silver.
Oh,
you know,
I take that back.
I found one bar of silver and it was like this big.
That was it.
Actually,
I think it's not even silver.
I think it was lead.
It was this big,
this big.
So I heard,
so I mean,
I'm hearing that when I'm hearing the numbers,
the sponsorship money,
that fucking athletes are,
by the way,
someone said, uh, Dan Guerrero said, um, uhero said, is the show going to be bigger than CrossFit?
Probably.
I would guess.
No shit, obviously.
Yeah, I would guess it's going to be bigger than CrossFit.
I don't know how it could not be.
It already is. Are you kidding me?
There you go.
Yeah, and people just don't know it.
But I'm hearing about sponsorship deals
that people get for slinging like beverages like i'm hearing people who got rain deals for like
40 50 60 70 80 90 000 like are you fucking kidding me to sling drinks what the fuck
that's cool yeah fuck Yeah, that's good.
That'll be the name of my media company.
Change it from Savant Media LLC.
Yeah, after that Me Prism guy came on and told everybody not to use your name in anything.
Wait, what happened?
I was just joking.
He was talking about people can look you up by your name or you get mail because of your business kind of thing.
Yeah.
I'll take a rain deal.
I'm drinking one right now.
Damn.
Just copy the Buttery Bros and cash will come.
Fuck.
No thanks.
I'd rather kill myself.
There's plenty of great sponsors this show has. I'm there's there's plenty of there's plenty of great sponsors. The show has I don't mean I'm not knocking any sponsors
Paper Street coffee birth fit and CA peptides fucking are so good to us born primitive has been
Absolutely amazing to us to brain business has been like out of this world
But this show in particular if it gets the right sponsor, the show will be forever indebted to them, but it'll be perfect.
I don't think it's a good sponsorship opportunity for two-brain business.
It's a good sponsorship opportunity for someone fucking like Red Bull.
You throw back a Red Bull, you watch Taylor work out, and then you go work out yourself it's like that you know it's like is metric still around
met rx yeah like those like like a supplement company some like fucking supplement company
that sells like you know shit powder should like sponsor it make some really good fucking
protein bars i'll tell you that. Those things are good.
They're candy bars, basically.
Elise Carr-Ridow. My mom
said she'll sponsor you, Sebi. That's nice.
Yeah, like they should sponsor.
Yeah, exactly.
For sure.
Dude, if Raindrop 200K and KillTether
would you chug one on air? One every show.
Sure. Fuck it. I just want someone oh progenics didn't metrics used to sponsor um world strong man like in the 70s when i was a kid i think
they sponsored it yeah i think you're right actually wow they've been around for a long time
then and i remember the uh i think it was the guy who owned metrics was the guy
Who I think owned mystery universe or whatever Oh Joe Joe Weider or something. Did he own it?
the guy brought on Arnold Arnold
Schwarzenegger from
Austria
Mike pull boy, I'll do a rain enema for 200k
Mike, pool boy, I'll do a rain enema for 200k Do whatever for 200k
I just
I believe in the show so fucking much
So fucking fun, so wild
Yeah, that's sick
Every athlete with a giant sponsor
is physically attractive
can you define physically for me
because I know one that has
a monster contract whose face
is fucking
four
they have an uglier face than me
I mean that
just deleted their
one contract for another contract
uh
oh uh no
no
no
no
who would have guessed
uh
Greg C wow you guys are going hard in the paint
if the FDA and CDC found federal dollars
to sponsor the show would you do it and read their
press releases absolutely
not
if I could read it and then wipe my ass
with it I would
okay yeah that's reasonable
I can't think of I can't I'm trying to think of
yeah anyway
I don't want to suck off my own show too much longer I'm gonna save that for sat save it for
Saturday
kill Taylor brought to you by pfizer oh shit
kill taylor take this injection
i'm nervous i'm nervous for crossfit tomorrow i hope they don't shit the bed again tomorrow
I'm nervous. I'm nervous for CrossFit tomorrow.
I hope they don't shit the bed again tomorrow.
Hey, how the fuck?
Adrian Conway must be terrified.
Why?
Because he's going to have to do what Chase did for the next two weeks.
And if I saw that, I mean, that is terrifying.
Damn, you're right terrifying
on Friday
we are going to point one camera
from so far away that the people look like ants
and then they're going to
start the race it's 30 minutes long
and then
30 seconds in they're going to run out of screen
laughing
laughing
laughing
we'll see them again for another five minutes.
Your job is to,
um,
uh,
your job is to keep the people engaged.
Good luck.
Now,
listen,
I haven't told you guys the worst part yet.
If you're an affiliate owner,
you should probably tune out now.
You don't want to hear this part.
If you're an affiliate owner,
you do not want to hear this part. Tune out affiliate owner you do not want to hear this part tune out this
is going to break this will break your heart in half okay ready
they didn't run one fucking commercial for their sponsors for the affiliates
or for their seminars during the entire stream
what's the point
dude if if i didn't run if when i was running the media department if i didn't run, if,
when I was running the media department,
if I didn't run an ad for the affiliates and the seminars,
every within everything I did,
fucking Dave would fucking kill me.
It's like,
he would be like,
Hey dude,
the whole point of the games is to support the affiliates.
Like he would fucking be pissed if there weren't enough commercials for the affiliates or if they weren't good enough.
How the fuck did they not run ads for the fucking
affiliates i i uh barry i thought things were supposed to be better with castro the thing is
is i think the whole company runs in these well-protected silos now and so he's he's been
partitioned off from the uh from the media team it's not like like he
like before dave was the king dick and he could just walk over and just yell at anyone
or like i could walk over and yell at him i could be like hey you got to stop kicking
people off the floor or whatever like we could fight i don't think it's like that anymore does this now fall on dave no that and that's kind of the cool thing
it's not like that it's like it's like a it's like a a real corporate environment now everything's
like in verticals whoever is responsible for advertising or affiliates or whatever
it's it's on them everybody's living in fallout shelters. Yeah. Not talking to each other.
Yep.
That would be my guess.
That's the only way it could possibly be.
They are lost.
Yeah.
Totally fucking lost.
I agree.
If I was Dawn, someone would definitely be fired.
And I'm not a firing person, but this has gone too far.
It's called decentralized command.
That is not that.
What does that mean?
What's decentralized command mean?
Basically, you have one leader, and then you just allow your teams to do what they see fit for the jobs or tasks that they have oh no then i think it is like that uh so like i don't think i think like i think if dave were to say hey we need affiliate
commercials people would say mind your own business stay out of stay out of our lane
no hey dude no i i heard don being interviewed on um um i heard don being interviewed on uh
i didn't listen to the whole thing i only
listened the first three minutes but of bear handlin's podcast i should probably listen to
the whole thing for a comment on it but he said the difference between i'm paraphrasing the
difference between leading crossfit and then the military is in the military like there's decisions
that have to be made you give the order and it and it's executed on. And in CrossFit or in the corporate world where he comes from, it's more of a – he didn't use the word consensus, but it's more like back and forth, talking, blah, blah, blah.
That is not what CrossFit needs.
No, not right now.
No. have to say i'm not talking about micromanaging but you at least have to say hey every live stream needs two affiliate commercials two uh seminar commercials and our sponsors need to be you know
be always given more than what they pay for right how the fuck was there not i mean it's nuts
you have but yeah they just haven't gotten to that point yet like you're they're rushing
to just let everybody do what they want instead of being instead of making sure that
everybody can do what they need to be done before being like okay yeah i'll trust you to do your
thing go off and this is this is how easy it is to run a commercial is it safe yes it's safe it's
very safe so safe you wouldn't believe it.
Is it safe?
Wow. Done.
Just like that, huh? Just like that.
Fuck. Chase Ingram with the beautiful Lauren Smith. We're gonna give
Lauren's back a break for the next minute.
Please listen to these words from our local affiliates and lauren gets to stretch out a
little bit and fucking move her titties around he gets to fucking reach in peels balls off his leg
and he fucking pushes a button and they run a commercial and it's it's a commercial made from
that nicole christiansen video that's in uh 54 minutes long you just take re re, uh, what's that called? Re thank you. Repurpose, uh, that, that, um,
that footage. Wow. Holy shit, dude, dude. Yesterday, Gabe calls me and he's like, Hey,
um, I have, I have two free games tickets. I want to give away. We give them away for me. I'm like,
sure. What do you want to do? And he's like, I want to do a, if you purchase a hundred dollars
or more over the next three weeks you get entered i said awesome
cool i said uh you have a commercial he goes no i'm like okay i'll call patrick rios and see if
you can put one together i call patrick rios i'm like hey rios what's up dude he's like yo what's
up like how's the wife he's like good mike hey can you make me a paper street coffee commercial
gabe will just pay you for any commercials you make he goes yeah so what do you want to say i'm
like i'll text it to you i I text it to him. Commercial will be
ready tomorrow.
It's like, dude.
Are you serious? Wow.
Okay.
If it's going to be like that, then
what the fuck
is going on?
He did use the word
consensus. Holy shit.
Oh my God. Yeah.
Listen, dear Don, no one wants to be led like that. he did use the word consensus. Holy shit. Oh my God. Yeah. No,
no.
Listen,
no one,
uh,
dear Don,
no one wants to be led like that.
No,
even if they say they do,
no one wants to be led by that.
I don't ask my wife,
uh,
after,
after railing her missionary for fucking 18 seconds,
I don't ask her if I want to turn her over.
I just turn her over and I just shove a pillow like,
you know, her midsection.
Prop that ass up.
You think your wife wants to be asked
if you can switch positions?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, that's fucking dog shit.
Come on, man!
Thank you.
Jake Chapman. Doesn't miss a beat.
Missionary snooze.
And we did more missionary.
Those are you.
I'd like to say this also.
Nice.
This is nice.
Hey, I'd like to say this as a PS psa to those of you men out there who are still
strong enough and healthy enough to carry your wife around have lots of standing sex where you
carry your wife around it's a tragedy when you get old and you can't do that anymore
i know a guy that's rough can you carry me next time it's getting to that point dude
it's getting to that point dude it's getting to that point
geez louise is that fun give it a give it a try dude
give it a try
uh uh let me see what uh gus is like i'm talking missionary i'm talking missionary i'm talking
where she's on her back and i'm on top thank you yes is that from a movie yeah it's from uh 21 jump
street and uh i can't remember the guy's name but he's the fat short one in that movie and he talks
about losing his virginity and he's like
missionary and then we did missionary and then i'm talking like me on top and her on the bottom
he's like explaining it to his uh partner that's fucking hilarious um uh froning rich froning does
missionary uh jeffrey birchfield 55 and still got it. Yeah, you got a 500-pound deadlift.
Hey, congrats to Jeff.
He just retired.
Oh, congratulations.
He's on extended summer break now.
That's amazing.
Yeah, it's fucking sick.
I think he's like 30 years as a teacher.
Crazy.
did you did uh did travis send you the shorts that he's gonna start selling have you tried them no but i'd like to i um when do they come out i don don't know, but I got a pair, and they're probably my favorite shorts.
Oh, that's awesome.
Are they on the website?
I don't think so.
Oh.
I hate shitty pockets.
Like, my shit always falls out.
And, like, with shorts, with dude shorts that are really short, or, like the above the knee type. My shit always falls out of my pockets
or the pockets like hang out from underneath the shorts
like a ball sack.
Oh God, that sucks.
Those are my least favorite shorts pockets ever.
And these don't do that.
They have super deep pockets
and my shit doesn't fall out.
My phone stays in there.
I have them on right now.
Can you see them?
Oh, those are nice. Yeah. Like my fucking phone sits in there and everything hey you know what's crazy is i um i've only been wearing joggers for the last like six months
and i'm really i'm really stressed out about what i'm gonna wear in carson on my lower half
oh because you're if you just can't wear it all the time lower half. Oh, because you just cut your shit all the time.
I can't, yeah.
I'm not going to wear joggers while I'm working.
So I don't know what pants I'm going to wear,
what shorts I'm going to wear.
I ordered a shitload of Bourne Primitive shorts.
Hopefully they come soon and I like them.
Oh, those are probably my second favorite.
Oh, that's good.
Pockets are not as deep but they
still fit a lot of shit i'll have a fanny pack i'll have a huge fanny pack you're good then
warm primitive shorts are nice oh shit kelsey keel is can't do tuesday fuck oh no i gotta figure out a time for her.
My dad just got back from Armenia and he wants to come over to the house
and I'm like, dude, we got lice.
You don't think he also has some shit
he brought back from Armenia?
Maybe.
Does he just go there and like visit?
No, he's got a farm there.
What is it?
What kind of farm?
Like, you know, like acres of cherries and apricots and apples.
You know, shit Armenian dudes grow.
Wow.
That's amazing.
By the way, at 1230 today Pacificific standard time we're doing a show
that's right
um
what's this thing that what's this thing people are making fun of in our thread
oh yeah this is so bad
What is it? I?
Don't know if I want to make fun of them. It's something that the Michael Schumacher made
Oh, no, yep, that's I mean little little dated, but it's so bad every time I see it
I hate it. I didn't know he was like this
Dumb or
Just kidding, maybe it's pretty it's pretty bad. I don't know the guy I don't want to I don't want to tear my new one
Just let that simmer for a while I'm going through our thread
to see if there's anything in here that is worth
commenting on
nope
alright what's this nope alright
oh what's this
oh
oh shit
wow Barbara oh shit wow uh barbara barbara smiles previously renowned for her role as global uh dei strategist
at facebook has pled guilty to wire fraud charges her conviction comes after siphoning off four
million dollars from the tech giant to pay for her extravagant lifestyle. Yeah, no. Everyone in DEI is a fraudster.
Like, everyone.
I don't know if they all know it, but you're all fraudsters.
Fuck, that's bad.
What a nightmare.
Oh, my God.
She got hired at Nike after she was fired from Facebook.
Un-fucking-believable.
Of course she did.
Um,
you can see it in the amazon order the edges got cut off
i ordered a shitload of uh ca peptide stickers like last minute like big ones eight inch ones
so that on the show they can like stick them places JR called me this morning at fucking 5am
To ask me if I could get them
I was like yes sir
Whatever you say JR
Whatever you say JR
Mr. Howell
Mr. Howell that's right
Wear shorts over your joggers
I thought you were supposed to do it the other way around Joggers over your joggers you're supposed to do the other way around
joggers over your shorts
yeah
all right
I'm gonna go take a nap
or go play tennis with my kids or something
or go in the yard
all right
how is this man still going I don't
know if you're talking about me i have no idea
must be the uh pedro's uh um hairline is unreal must be the power of the lice um it's like being
on a conference call all day he can do it uh just wear shorts it's gonna be hot i know but i don't
know what shorts savvy if you split from your wife would you be celibate or become rampant?
Celibate.
I don't know this morning when I got it,
but 3 a.m. I sure as fuck didn't want to be celibate,
I'll tell you that.
I don't have a backhand. Work on your tell you that i don't have a backhand work on your backhand i don't have a backhand it's crazy i don't have a backhand you just switch hands i do i'll switch hands but usually
i'll just like give it if i have to hit backhand i just tap it i don't feel comfortable like this
neither do i so when i go fucking weird right yeah when i was
when i was a kid i went to tennis lessons i was older than your kids but whatever and i would
just i just used i just had two forehands i would just like switch my hand so just switch the racket
every time the ball came good and the dude the coach or whatever the fuck he
refused to allow me to do that and i don't know i i will never understand why
he wouldn't let me just have two forehands because i would fucking wreck shop with two forehands
i don't get it i i force alvy to Play left-handed forehand sometime is
Haley the only woman that can get you
Hard I have to think no but it's been a
Long time since it's been it's been a I
Mean nothing gets me hard at 3 a.m. I
Don't even know what it is turn your hip
No turn my hips dude i hate this this feels so oh i see still it just
feels i'm so uncoordinated dude it's like brushing my teeth with my left hand i feel like i'm gonna
poke my eye out like the brush is gonna come out and jab me in the eye i guess maybe i'm that
uncoordinated look at all the tennis players going after you.
Look at all the...
I was talking to Gabe yesterday,
and he told me he used to teach tennis.
I'm like, geez.
Give me a better reason other than it's stupid.
Look at this.
Caleb used to play tennis with the short bus kids.
Jesus.
Yeah, you're fucking right I did.
Cave Dastro, you just aren't good.
right I did. Cave Dastro, you just aren't good.
Clock,
double backhand sucks. Blame Jimmy Connors.
Work on single backhand.
Yeah, I
totally,
I've tried all the grips on the hog.
You mean like this? Like this instead of like this? Totally. I've tried all the grips on the hog You mean like this?
Like this instead of like this?
Totally I've tried them all
At 52 I'm more attracted to my wife than ever
Maybe it's because I'm competing with
Three other dudes
But it's crazy
I seriously cannot
I've had a resurgence in the last like two years of just
like i don't know what the fuck's going on a lot of free tea tennis is yeah probably tennis is gay
tennis is definitely gay tennis golfing baseball baseball is gay is the gayest. UFC. Baseball's the gayest.
Oh, baseball's so gay.
The only way you can make baseball interesting
is if you do the 9-9-9 challenge
where you drink a beer, have a hot dog
every inning of the game for nine innings.
That's the only way to make it interesting.
I can't even drink beer anymore.
I'd get fucking hammered. Drinking beer is gay, too. I mean that in a good way to make it interesting I can't even drink beer anymore drinking beer is gay too
I mean that in a good way
being gay is good I mean that as a positive
thing thank you Janelle
as someone who's never picked up a racket
sounds reasonable thank you
I'm gonna do better at tennis than you fucking idiots
the thing is
oh thank you Sevan's haircut is gay thank you
um the
thing is is what Caleb is saying's haircut is gay thank you the thing is
what Caleb is saying actually requires
a shitload of skill
to be able to hit a forehand
with your left hand still requires a shitload
of skill
that's why I play ping pong
no backhands
all forehands
yeah actually
I think I do that too.
I think I-
I think in ping-pong,
I do that too, actually.
Yeah, you just move yourself.
If you can't move yourself in time,
you switch hands and you got the other hand.
You just fucking throw another forehand in there.
Anyway, I'm gonna go garden.
That's the gayest of all gay things.
It's my favorite gay activity.
Tug weeds.
Both hands.
Hold my Ryubi electric weed whacker.
Now we're extra gay here.
Just picture CrossFit dudes naked.
Hey, Chase was like commenting on Zioni's body.
The guy Zioni from Italy.
Enrico Zanoni?
Yeah, Enrico Zanoni.
Did he get flamed for it?
No, he didn't.
Did he get flamed for commenting on a dude's body?
How dare he? No, but he didn't just say it? No, he didn't commenting on a dude's body. How dare he?
No,
but he didn't just say it once.
Like he,
he,
he ran with it.
He's like,
someone's like,
like the guy who was commenting with was like,
Hey,
that's not,
that's not having your shirt off.
Probably isn't the best strategy.
Chase is like,
nah,
let us stare at his body and shit.
He just kept driving it.
Doesn't chase.
No,
he can't do that.
He's going to find out.
Probably the last time we see Chase.
God.
What a sad moment.
We'll be back here at 1230
with the whole posse.
John Youngs and stuff like that.
And JRs.
Remember.
Unbeatable.
The man. The greatest living crossfitter alive taylor self
tomorrow morning 9 a.m workout will be released at probably 8 30 a.m
sick anyone can try don't don't worry how good you are
It doesn't even matter
No one can beat him so you might as well just try
Just be ready
Be someone where there's some gym equipment
This week's gonna be
For sure impossible to beat him
Can I sign up for a noon class
I totally understand If not that's my wife that's
how that's how a wife talks to her king she wants to sign up for like a noon class like crossfit or
like pilates or hot yoga or something and she just texts me uh can i sign up for a noon class
i totally understand if not.
She's giving you the illusion of a choice.
Yeah.
How women control us.
Totally fine.
Go make that ass big.
I knew it. If you're a dude and your wife asked to go work out and you say no you're an idiot yeah you're gay
that's the that's the uh that's that's the uh test haley definitely has a male instructor. Hey, she,
she tells me that these classes she goes to are just full of just chicks,
just like tits hanging out.
Every chicken there has a perfect body.
Instructor has big old fake titties hanging out.
She's always inviting me to go.
She goes like this.
She's like,
you got to go.
You got to come see all these fucking people in this class.
You'd love it.
And then she's like,
it's really a fucking hard,
like, no, thank you. I don't think i would work out yeah i'm not fucking i'm good i'm just gonna go do
fucking five air squats on the minute for three hours in the garage and watch fucking
talking uh the lone ranger podcast i can't even work out with my wife and actually not being
distracted you know hard yeah right yeah and i work out with my wife and actually not being distracted, you know, yeah, right
Yeah, and I work out with her every day and we fucking taking takes us like two and a half hours just to work out
There's like watching her move the whole time. Hey, baby. Hey, baby
Sick but big kaboos a dump truck
All right a dump truck. Alright.
That's it.
I can smell my wife
like after five minutes.
My wife has
like no smell to her.
Really?
You know,
just like, well, do you ever spend time away from her and then come back
and you're like oh yeah there it is that's what i was missing uh you know yeah i don't know but
but um when i go into every time when i'm done with the podcast, I go, I will, I will go into the house and she's in the kitchen and she's wearing,
she wears this spaghetti strap sports bra,
like loose thing with no bra.
And she has a,
on a pair of like silk boxers that she like got from me that in my drawer
that are fucking three sizes too tight.
And she's in like holding a pan,
like dishing eggs out.
And I want to fucking like run through a brick wall.
I'm just like, Jesus Christ.
I get what you're saying.
And there's three other dudes in the room
yelling at her.
More eggs, more bacon, more eggs.
Shut up, punk ass.
Yeah.
How about fuck you?
All right. ass. Yeah. How about fuck you? All right.
12.30.
Caleb, thank you.
Good to see you back in the chat again.
Glad to be here.
Talk to you guys soon.
Bye-bye.