The Sevan Podcast - The Beach Front Life | Live Call In
Episode Date: December 14, 2023Welcome to this episode of the Sevan Podcast! Register for CrossFit for Health Summit HERE - https://www.crossfitforhealthsummit.com/?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.crossfitforhealthsummit.com%2Fa%2F214771978...8%2FezYHjNhB Share the Five Buckets of Death video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgnukiqovaA 3 PLAYING BROTHERS - Kids Video Programming https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/3-playing-brothers/daily-practice ------------------------- Partners: https://capeptides.com/ - CODE "SEVAN" FOR FREE SHIPPING https://www.paperstcoffee.com/ - THE COFFEE I DRINK! https://swolverine.com/ - THE SUPPLEMENTS I TAKE! BIRTHFIT Programs: Prenatal - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/w... Postpartum - https://marketplace.trainheroic.com/w... Codes (20% off): Prenatal - SEVAN1 Postpartum - SEVAN2 https://asrx.com/collections/the-real... - OUR TSHIRTS https://www.vndk8.com/ - OUR OTHER SHIRT https://usekilo.com - OUR WEBSITE PROVIDER 3 PLAYING BROTHERS - Kids Video Programming https://app.sugarwod.com/marketplace/... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The morning you're like, I'm making a lifestyle change. we're live that's what it was that's how i sometimes when i get up early the first thing i think about is fuck tomorrow i'm just
gonna sleep in oh that's nice well you know what's crazy is i hit the i don't ever hit
the snooze and i hit the snooze this morning like on my phone i hit the i hit the like whatever the
and i slept another eight minutes i laid
there for eight minutes you know i don't actually go back to sleep yeah yeah i was just telling
suze i'm going too hard here in uh newport i had one of those moments you know you know like when
you go too hard one day and then in the middle of the night you wake up and you're like making
lifestyle changes you're like okay tomorrow i'm gonna I'm going to do two workouts. I just slept
like shit last night. I've been abusing
myself. I've got to stop snorting
so much meth.
I haven't slept in two days.
Yeah.
Hey, I made a post
saying that I was the
number nine biggest podcast in the world.
Someone
swapped out the picture of
whosoever podcast that is and put me in there i guess that guy i guess the name of that podcast
has the word ceo in it yeah yeah and so people actually think like that it's real
hey which is kind of cool yeah yeah yeah exactly because they believe it can happen you know not everybody
you know
yeah
Seban's Mayhem Empire podcast
here we go
I don't know
my values I don't think
my values align with their values
I don't think their values quite align with
my values I have my foreskin
that's a deal breaker for the man i mean it's joking not joking
uh no i no martin no i'm not i'm carnivore i'm carnivore as a motherfucker
i only snort the lines off of a cow's ass. No, no, no margaritas. Nothing like that.
No, no, no.
Thank you, though.
Thank you for asking.
No margaritas.
There's some, I think, you know, I seriously, I think I had the meat sweats last night.
Have you ever had meat, legit meat sweats?
Yeah.
Yeah, I had some meat sweats.
I've only got them once, like, in the evening time.
Actually, I think it was in Scottsdale when Greg had that like chef at the house and just made all that meat.
Yeah, yeah.
And I hadn't like eaten all day.
So I made a plate.
But then I stood next to the meat and just kept eating it as I was like hanging out and talking and didn't realize how much I ate.
So you were just sleeping.
So then you get back to your hotel room and you were sleeping.
And then in the middle of the night, you woke up and you're sweating.
Oh, just wake up.
Yeah.
And you just like you just feel so freaking hot and flushed and kind of i feel kind of nauseous when that happens yeah um uh we came we i've been getting up an hour extra early and i've been going to bed just as
late and last night before i went to bed hayley put on two ribeyes and i ate one in the middle in the in the middle in the middle of the night i feel like it's like
tingling all over my skin and then i'm kind of like just like waking up and i'm paying attention
to it next i know water's coming out of those wherever those tingling spots are and then more
water and i'm like and it's like almost like i have a fever it's your body rejecting it right
at least i don't know what the fuck it is. I didn't know
my body turned the meat into
water.
Excuse me.
Professor Percepto.
Nice to see you. Welcome to the show, Professor.
You need a level 2
CrossFit...
That's a course. Who's the ticket?
You need your level two crossfit course certificate
pass show that you went there paid your money two-day thing to open a box i don't know if
that's true though i think you only need your level one to open a box but anyway i'll go with
you i'm rolling with you to raise the quality of boxes yet you have to print out your own cert you
don't get an official printed copy it's absurd oh please do you really have to print out your own cert you don't get an official printed copy it's absurd oh please do you really have to print out your own cert i mean it's petty what you're saying but i'm
i can get petty with you i'm with you that's okay well we could get petty but what the fuck does that
have to do with the knowledge you learn third or no sir i watch people get handed degrees from ivy
league schools and didn't fucking learn shit hey guys i suza has completely abandoned the hater realm he wanted to this show used to have
edge i'm tired of people asking me if i'm fucking sucking david on his dick it's suza suza got a
dollop on his back or something my god he'll go jesus christ he'll go to bat for any just went
to his level two guys he's like all high shit. He's been hard for more than four hours. He needs to see a doctor.
He needs to see a doctor.
Yeah.
It's been hard since Sunday.
Only a CrossFit approved doctor, though.
When he drove home.
He needs a standee.
He needs a standee.
My God.
Nice try, Professor.
Not here. Not today.
Give it a week.
We'll see if this erection goes away.
CrossFit erection.
I pay my affiliate fee this week so let
me pay that i'll get nice and bitter yeah good uh about 15 year affiliate uh text me this morning
said i'm out that was interesting oh really yeah he said hey my fees are due i'm out
shit i said keep me posted i mean i'm sure they're gonna call the dude they kind of have to right they're gonna be like oh they should i mean they yeah but i have to i
mean it's the right thing to do hey dude what's up why yeah wasn't that one of your suggestions
years ago some sort of like exit either complication or survey or something like that
where you talk to the affiliate and be like hey what's going's going on? Jesus Christ, why are numbers so low?
This isn't the fucking coffee pods and wads.
It's not popping. I just checked on my YouTube
too. It is dead silent that we
are on live. Listen, guys, this isn't
the Be Friendly show. Come stack in.
We're going to say some interesting shit.
I switched tomorrow's show
to today. I think that might hardly
bucked it up. Listen,
this isn't a pedro show you'll
understand everything i say you may not agree with it but you won't have to like decode it
your english decoder but this isn't the uh um get with the programming show where every third
sentence is what what do you think 21 15 9 or uh 12 9 3 what do you think
well that workout was stupid
because it needed to be down by twos
and not threes.
Jesus Christ.
Come on.
Come on. Load in. Load in. We got some fun shit.
That's my imitation of a CD skipping from the 80s.
Dude, Pedro's funny as shit.
He's like doing straight-up stand-up comedy shit on that show yesterday.
He said something so funny, and then someone said,
how long have you been preparing that?
And he goes, that just came out on the fly.
Fuck, it was funny.
Yeah.
He's really coming to his own.
The fake news with the Heat 1 app, I think he just posted something new right now.
He did.
But that shit is gold.
He's really found a nice groove.
Hey, this whole thing between Dallin Pepper and...
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Let's see what Pedro says.
The new Heat One app.
Legends, the new home of the Masters CrossFit Games
is out this weekend,
and they've got huge support from CrossFit Games was on this weekend and it got huge
support from CrossFit HQ with
absolutely zero coverage
whatsoever. Not dissimilar from
FitFest in the UK, which didn't have a live stream
because it was going to affect ticket sales
from people in, I don't know,
Texas. Dallin Pepper has
been added to the Kremlin watch list for this
assassination attempt. Buttery Games
Episode 1 released last week
on the Buttery Bros YouTube channel,
and it gave a lot of rain athletes
their first official taste of rain energy drink.
Svam Natosian has in a bizarre 180
turned on CrossFit and undone all of their positive PR
that they've built up over the last few years
on whether or not CrossFit is safe.
I did CrossFit for...
I went to a CrossFit class and then I got f***ing injured.
That s*** is dangerous.
So dangerous. Intensity is f***ing the death of all olden people.
And finally, the 2023 International CrossFit Global
Curr Competition Community Awards have been announced.
I don't know if we find a better panel of people who could represent
the International CrossFit Global Competition community than the three of us.
Congratulations, BeFriendly Fitness.
No praise like self-praise.
Global.
Global.
Dude, what is going on?
There is so much hate towards the Dubai thing.
I didn't watch any of that.
I just want to see Ricky with his shirt off. But what the fuck is going on? There is so much hate towards the Dubai thing. I didn't watch any of that. I just want to see Ricky with his shirt off,
but what the fuck is going on over there?
Why is everyone just...
Every comp is just getting ass-pounded.
Yeah, it's not looking good, huh?
Somebody's holding them accountable for once.
I feel like they haven't done anything.
Nobody's said anything about any competition
in a poor light
since the inception of CrossFit. Dude, now you don't have to say anything. Not everyone's just getting... haven't done anything nobody's said anything about any competition in a poor light or since
the inception of crossfit dude now and not everyone's just getting but the thing is is like
like that master's comp was insane dude it was amazing but they got ass pounded for not showing
it and like dubai it's like they're getting ass pounded because the workouts suck and like
things are changing last minute and i guess that dude, Derek was atrocious.
And I mean, I, I, I didn't, I don't even know what's going on.
I don't, I know nothing.
I'm on a thread where people are talking about it nonstop and I know nothing.
I couldn't tell you one workout.
I couldn't tell you how many workouts I couldn't tell you who won nothing.
Yeah.
See, look at Allison.
I'm lost.
I'm lost too.
Allison's like, I'm lost.
I'm lost too.
Excuse me.
Nice to see you though look at look at andrew hiller so much hate i don't watch any of it yeah well i just have
no interest in it it was amazing i was there hey uh uh i was there for the legends it was amazing
and i bet you if i went to dub, I'd think it's amazing, too.
That's the other thing, too.
You're not at the games, and we're sitting back in our chairs
just ripping the shit out of it.
We went to the games, and you come back high as a kite.
You're like, damn.
Were you all just mad that we didn't go?
Is that what it is?
I don't know.
I'd be pretty mad if I flew to Dubai.
Fly across the world to watch people do thrusters fast
no thank you
I said my son's with me and they were
they were in first class
well yeah that's a whole different ball game there
huh
oh I like this post
oh shit okay here we go Adam Blakeslee
a d-bag
Allison a d-bag is a douche bag
a douche bag is an old school
thick silicone bag that you fill with hot water that women wash their pussies out with
darn it i bet you we got dinged for that for sure a d-bag walked into my
ongoing class this morning took off his shirt and started posing green hair and
guess the piercing location wow really a dude it was a dude that's like just started posing like just
i guess yeah you have mirrors in your gym send send video i want to see it i thought that was
a thing you didn't have mirrors and affiliates the thought of someone with green hair walking
into a crossfit gym i wish they would just melt. You know what I mean? Like a vampire
walks into a church.
Maybe they're there for salvation.
Hashtag inclusive.
Andrew Hiller,
cock.
Andrew Hiller, I cannot recommend you
enough. Andrew Hiller, I cannot commend
you enough for your Bayesian video, bro. So good and fun.
I know I need to watch that.
It is awesome. I enjoyed it. Bayesian video, bro. So good and fun. I know I need to watch that. I had time to look.
It is awesome?
I enjoyed it.
I liked it, yeah.
I had time to listen to it yesterday.
I didn't have time to...
Watch it.
Watch it.
So I just, I didn't listen to it.
Because I want to watch it.
It is a visual.
Yeah, I want to look at fucking beautiful Tyson.
Does Hiller have a shirt off in it?
No, no.
But the handstand walk down the hallway part is really cool.
It's just cool
the way Hiller makes those videos. It just makes you feel like you
were there. And then when you're not there, you're like,
oh, I'm bummed because I'm not there. But he does
a good job of just kind of like showcasing
hanging out, asking questions.
Maybe we should just hate on him because we weren't there.
Yeah, I agree.
Now we're talking, Caleb.
That thing sucked. Everyone's just hating on him because we weren't there. Yeah, I agree. Now we're talking. That thing sucked.
Everyone's just hating on Hiller.
I heard Hiller's represented by James
Neely.
Neely or Sealy?
James Neely got Hiller
a C4 contract. It's fucking amazing.
Hiller gets a 12-pack every week. It's fucking
crazy.
Oh, geez.
There's this article I want to show you guys.
Where is it?
It's on Beaners.
But it really kind of inspired me to...
I was tripping on racial slurs yesterday.
Again, I'm always tripping on racial slurs.
I love racial slurs.
If you type out a racial slur,
the whole word is typed out
unless it's just one particular racial slur.
One of the racial slurs gets asterisk marks.
Like for some reason, it's so bad
that you can't
type this fucking thing out
you guys know which one it is go ahead guess in the comments
I'm joking do not guess in the comments
do not guess in the comments please
should we have a poll for this one
you can
you can say
so many racial you can type out so many racial slurs.
You could type out a sentence.
It is – I was walking down the street yesterday, and three guys called me a kike and chased me and my kids and said, fuck your kike kids.
It would be spelled out.
It wouldn't be like –
Was that Harvard?
Yeah, I was at Harvard.
That's what you get with a four-year degree you could you could write you could write uh how do you spell it like a k y k e s is that or it would be nice if it was just like
like heights yeah that's what i was a i k e s i think it's got a y in it. I don't know if I've ever written it out.
K-I-K-E.
K-I-K-E.
It is like that.
Oh, that's nice.
It's way better than the Y.
The Y doesn't make sense.
Yeah, so you don't have to do... It makes sense.
Kai?
How does K-I-K-E spell his name?
I bet you that's with a Y.
K-I-R-C-A-I-Q-U--u-e that's how he sounds like oh that would be amazing if
kike was spelt like that c-a-i-q-u-e yeah
it's got that q in it oh here we go oh wait let me see what's going on in trinidad tobago
uh racist jokes oh here we go this is in a foreign land people ignore 80 of this is not going to be
true uh sabir and kelly racist jokes are the new phase on trinidad schools the kids come home
laughing at every word that has black in it and making reference to monkeys wow it's coming full
circle yeah so you're us and you're the united states in the 60s it's just like these are coming back no no hey dude someone had to make that
pattern can you imagine that yeah at some point no they did not yeah and then the button is even
metal it's like a metal button it snaps really well you hear that at some point your jacket was
not on the 50 off rack someone bought at some point at some point north face didn't have a 50 discount year
round so there's that too that's a good point i mean they gotta know that they make that and
they're like okay this i have a north hey the rat rads kill it and i think those are the ugliest
fucking things ever they look like fucking they look like jazzercise marshmallow shoes. They look like they're joke shoes.
They look like something Reebok would make, but people love them.
So fuck, what do I know? Yeah, have you tried them yet?
No. Caleb, have you tried them?
Yeah, I wear them all the time.
Let me see your feet right now. You got them on now?
No, I've got Nanos on now.
These are like my house shoes. Nanos are my house
shoes. These are my house shoes.
Is that racist? Your house shoes?
I want some feet pics.
I use rads for
training only.
Look at these people. Rads are the best.
I've been working out with them for a while.
I like them too.
Sean Lenderman, Caleb, can you stand up
so we can give you a handy? A standy?
Yes. Got one of those yesterday.
No shit.
Noble had a 50% off sale last month.
Oh, what?
I never received.
You just buy it and they never send it.
Hello?
Hi.
Hey, what's up?
It's Rosie View.
Hey, Rosie View, what's up?
Hey.
Hey.
I just want to interrupt your conversation.
I have a really quick question.
Okay.
And maybe Susan can-
Well, you're already way past the quick part, just so you know.
Way past.
Way past.
Yes, CrossFit's the best.
Anywho.
So my gym that I go to, I've been going there since 2013.
And right now our gym owner is wanting,
literally like demanding that every single member gives a review.
Otherwise he won't post the workouts anymore.
Like he's holding every single person accountable to like post a review. Otherwise, he won't post the workouts anymore.
He's holding every single person accountable
to post a review, and then he
won't post the workouts until
everything's reviewed.
You mean like post a review on Yelp?
No, on Facebook.
Of his gym? He wants you
to be like...
Is he joking? Is it in jest?
Is it to motivate you? No. you no wait hold on let me ask
a question you've been going there since 2013 yeah yeah dude you enjoy going there you like it
absolutely so why haven't you left a review damn i i love the review oh oh well then you're good
to go what are you worried about you like that do you so are you are you praising him are you
saying that's pretty cool are you giving that advice to all gym owners they should all be like hey
no i think it's kind of i think it's kind of a dick move because honestly like what if people
don't have facebook like there's lots of people i don't have facebook i don't do facebook yeah
i don't do facebook like i wouldn't do facebook either if i didn't have a business and that's
how like a lot of people contact me and find me but like also I think it's ridiculous you know like post the workouts because that's how some people like
I don't know if they did like a hard leg workout what if they don't want to go the next day or
something you know what I mean like they don't know what the workouts are like some people are
just like they're planners you know I don't know and say unknown and unknowable that's what we're
testing this week hey what awesome? What review did you leave?
What did you say?
Um, I said, I've been going there.
I've been going to the gym since 2013.
Um, uh, it was, I think I've never, I've never stopped coming and I've always like
this CrossFit is like the best thing that I've ever done.
Like something like something around those lines, I believe. You should have just wrote that. I've always like, just CrossFit is like the best thing that I've ever done. Like something like something around those lines, I believe.
You should have just wrote that.
I've never stopped coming.
God dang it,
I followed that one.
Anyway.
Anyways,
I would never,
I would not do that.
I would not.
Hey,
what about saying this?
Susan,
would you say this?
Hey,
can you guys please leave a review?
It would help business.
That's exactly what I do say. Yeah sometimes we'll push it we'll be like hey guys if you have a second if you could leave us a google review it'd mean the world to us we really
want to keep this going and if you enjoy being here please help us out if you don't don't say
shit don't even touch the reviews do you have like a qr code or something that makes it easy
for them to like i'm gonna scan this and i'm gonna leave a review kind of thing anybody at our gym no but oh man that might be that makes it super easy
it does and we did that at our gym too yeah like i guess there was like a link that was sent out
to like a private that we have a private like facebook group for our all the gym members and
i'm not a part of that because my old facebook got hacked
so i have a new facebook and everybody's like oh yeah you can leave a review like didn't you see
the link in the facebook chat i was like no hey you know what you know what you could do that that
idea caleb had is pretty fucking great you could buy one of those stands that someone like just a
cheap stand that holds like a 18 by 32 poster board on it.
Take it and put the QR code huge on it on it and put,
please review this gym.
And then just set it up in the entryway and just be like, you're welcome.
And then also tell him,
be like,
Hey dude,
I'm not,
you owe me a month's membership for that.
Well,
he's giving away like a hundred.
I think it's like $200.
You just tell him,
you just set that up for him and you tell him he gives you a month's membership. Susan hates this, but just strong away like $100. I think it's like $200. You just tell him. You just set that up for him, and you tell him he gives you a month's free membership.
Sousa hates this, but just strong arm his ass back.
I just think it's a little ridiculous because as me, being a business owner, like photography,
I could be like, oh, if you don't write a review for my business, I'm not giving you your photos.
I kind of feel like that.
It should not be a threat.
One of the things that we did that you're not supposed to do
but we might have done is, hey,
have you tried a FitAid? No.
If you leave a review,
we'll give you a free FitAid.
They're not connected at all.
You just leave the review and
we give you a free FitAid.
Right.
I love the QR code thing. You should tell him that he should do that that's a
great idea then you don't even have to strong on anyone people will just do that like yeah
qr code that's crazy
right yeah like i mean i just i just wanted to know like your guys's input on it because it's
been really frustrating for a lot of members are like why the heck you know like they want to leave
a review but now they feel like like they don't want to leave a review now because like he's
demanding it. Otherwise, like he's not posting the workouts. And then I feel like some people
are going to be like, well, screw you. I'm leaving the gym. Yeah. That was a, that's not
the best strategy. Not having to use the threat for a review. Yeah exactly i i agree i agree with you i agree with you and what caleb
said about the qr code is definitely the way to reduce that friction and then give an incentive
to do it not a punishment that's crazy right that's like dictator status as opposed to like
well i mean i don't think he listens to the show but but he's kind of a little strong and mighty.
Yeah.
How tall is he?
Oh, he's pretty tall.
It's always tall dudes. Fuck those guys.
Short dudes are really confident in their own.
Well, he did go to the games.
He went to the games as a master.
Yeah, he's a fucking...
He's a high and mighty guy.
Hiller knows who he is.
Hiller will make a video on him.
I'm surprised he hasn't made a video on him yet.
Hiller puts
TRT into that guy.
Wow.
Just telling you the truth.
It was more than TRT.
Exactly.
Alright, well thank you.
Everybody started just like pounding me in the comments
So I might as well get off
Oh my gosh
Oh by the way
By the way your package will be arriving soon
My package is right here
Oh my god no
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah
Thank you
Okay well I'll to you guys later.
Okay.
Remember,
everyone wants a standee.
Oh my gosh.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
That was a cool call.
And I like when people have those like real life things going down like that.
She has so much energy.
She's great.
Yeah.
She's always fun.
I'm in full pervo this morning, I think.
It's not good for me.
That's my wife's fault.
What?
You said you were slinging them quick.
Going quick.
Oh, Jedidiah says,
almost everyone likes a standee.
Oh, great.
Thank you.
I am an absolutist,
and sometimes I forget about being more inclusive.
Thank you, Jedediah, for keeping it real.
Cock.
Bro, rookie QB Will Levi's puts Bajan's swole to shame.
Dude is a freak. I want to see them battle.
Oh, he's a...
Yeah, Bajan just has a great body bajan's like a fucking uh underwear model he's a he looks like um calvin klein like he could be calvin klein model yeah he ain't he ain't all
he just has a good body it looks like just a great athletic body he's like um you know those dogs um
like um hunting dogs like avla, just got a fucking nice
fucking body on that dog.
Built for performance.
Yeah, what a nice...
Yeah, and this guy's
more muscular and shit, right? Look at him.
Jesus, brick shithouse.
You're right.
Wow.
I bet you that's more injury prone.
Does that guy start?
Does this dude a crossfitter?
I don't know, but you know what's crazy?
He looks fucking 10 years older than our guy.
Let's see him with his shirt off petting the donkey.
He developed his pecs a little better, but it's yeah i'm a tyson i like tyson's body
i'll but tyson got more of that matthew mcconaughey
long yeah i'm more of a i'm more of a brad pitt i'm more of a brad pitt and troy than a uh what's
the other guy's name who's in the other one that everyone always thinks is better, but it's not?
Snatch?
Gladiator?
Gladiator.
What was that guy's name?
Howard Hughes?
Hugh Hefner?
Russell Crowe.
I'm more of a Troy Aikman.
I'm more of a Troy, Brad Pitt Troy than a Russell Crowe gladiator.
Wow, my brain is not working today.
That took fucking like 90% of my horsepower
to get that sentence out.
She's criminy.
It's all downhill from here, 26 minutes in.
Many people of Mexican descent
can vividly describe the moment
they heard the epithet, Beaner.
As a child or a young adult, it stung to them.
It said, you're not American, you never will be.
Get the fuck out of here.
No one ever thought that. And if they did,
that's beaner.
What a gentle
epithet.
Last spring,
this is an article, by the way, from 2019.
This is, listen to this.
Last spring, Google searches for the term spike when Latino men revealed that a Starbucks barista in Southern California had written beaner on two cups he ordered.
So someone walks into a Starbucks and orders coffee, and the guy writes beaner on there so that when they're going to hand it out, when it's ready, they know which guy to give it to.
They probably forgot to ask for the name, and they're like, hmm.
It's for the Beaner.
Dude, that's amazing.
Hey, and I bet they spelt it out.
Right.
Dude, this whole article, Beaner's written out like 100 times.
That's why I started tripping.
You can't do that with every epithet but it's just so funny uh listen to this then on january 1st the new york
times used beaner as an and that spelt out again as an answer to its crossword puzzle
the clue referred to a baseball pitch to the head informally so they apologized oh like being yeah yeah uh he threw a beaner
in the seventh inning and you just see someone throwing a mexican dude no no no no
oh my god how about the this nbc news article should apologize for calling people mexican
that's part of the colonial uh colonizing propaganda to refer to indigenous people of South America as Mexican.
It's part of the PSYOP. PSYOP.
I just like it how the last spring Google searches for the term spiked when Latino men – shut the fuck up.
That's some fucking Andrew Hill or Craig hiller craig richie fucking uh evidence uh google spikes uh
damn i just put fucking hiller and craig richie in the same
bucket they're in the same video one time so that's okay that's because they're both represented
by neely neely dude hiller you should ask neely to represent you i'm just curious to see what that if he would i mean imagine someone who represents sporty beth
what so that's gonna make great news for pedro next week if andrew's
and in a bizarre twist of events listen and if pedro puts you in his heat one app review you
should send him a text and say thank you most you ding dongs that's the best fucking most love
you're going to get from anyone in the community just say thank you it's true that's what i did
yeah thank you for including you've been in one yeah which one were you in what'd you get what
he called me sugary suza and said that i paired up with the
sugar-free revolution and then just showed multiple shots of me eating a donut and a piece of cake at
jr's competition no shit he found a photo of you eating god he didn't find it he took it oh literally
went to the back and there wasn't there wasn't much anything to eat there there was a crispy
cream donut and it was like uh cookies and cream filled and i was like well i'm taking a bite of
this and i grabbed it i took a bite right as i did i looked over page was like cookies and cream filled and I was like, well, I'm taking a bite of this and I grabbed it. I took a bite right as I did.
I looked over and Pedro was like, it's with his phone.
Yeah, he got me. Hey,
never use the bathroom with that guy.
Yeah, it's not going to be a slippery slope.
I'm going to get back to my beaner talk in a
second. NateDog88,
Caleb, I'm going to get back to the beaner talk.
Don't pout. It't pout Don't get angry
I know you're curious where that's going
NateDog88
Do you think about rocking cornrows with that David Duchovny look
You got going
Listen
I was obsessed with Californication
Obsessed
And I thought
I'd never been so excited about the writing of a show have either
of you guys seen that you're probably too young to see it no i never no i haven't it's wild you
should at least watch the first episode there's so much nudity in it it's so it what is a tv show
yeah it's just gratuitous just one-liners and sex and drugs, and I was so fucking into David Duchovny.
Unfortunately, he's woke.
Oh, X-Files.
And people started saying that I was looking like David Duchovny.
Nicole Carroll one time, she goes, you kind of look like David Duchovny.
You know who that is?
I'm like, what the fuck?
I'm turning into the guy I'm obsessing on TV.
And then one night, I was in Prescott california and i was staying there i was
visiting greg and i it was like two in the morning like it was it couldn't go to sleep
so i left my hotel room and i walked down to like the store to buy a bottle of water or something
and the town was raging fucking these girls started following me telling me that calling
me david dicovny it was fucking weird no girls have ever followed me anywhere like matter of
fact they usually go the opposite way.
They cross the street. Yeah. Well, you're a black dude.
There it is, David. Well, yeah, that's
probably right. I'm a black David Duchovny.
What is there? Holy
shit. I got a fucking black guy story
to tell you guys. You guys won't believe what I saw
yesterday. Black people are a trip, dude.
They got a weird culture.
How many black people in the audience? I need this one one verified we are going to get back to beaner anyway listen uh so i'm at
the beach yesterday kids are surfing i'm living the dream right now get up in the morning i go
for a long walk i come back kids are done with school i take them to the beach i have some
friends here they've been surfing with my kids i just sit there on the beach and do air squats and push-ups and take selfies
that's the life no one's on the beach the seagulls are extremely aggressive on this
beach a matter of fact at one joseph was eating something and one landed on his head
my seven-year-old boy and we were dying laughing everyone's landed on his head dude
imagine a huge beach that stretches for miles in each direction.
That's thick as my,
and,
uh,
I mean,
it's just so,
such a thick beach.
There's like,
I don't know.
As far as your,
I can see both directions.
There's a hundred people.
You know what I mean?
I mean,
the beach is empty,
but right next to us is this couple that shows up,
uh,
black dude and sweats, gray sweatshirt, 6'3", 240, with this chick who's 5'4", 240, right?
She's wearing jeans.
Some cultures do that.
They just come fully clothed to the beach like that.
And it's winter.
And it's winter. So they lay out a blanket and they get down on the blanket and the seagulls surround their blanket.
And I look away to look at my kids and I look back and this fucking black dude has jumped up and he's running full sprint to the parking lot holding his bag. Like I imagine a sandwich being in the bag. You know what I mean?
Like when you order like a foot long and they slip it into that brown bag that
fits perfectly in it he's running with that gray hoodie gray sweatpants and he's running and he
gets to where the parking lot is and he fucking jumps over the wall uh uh crazy athletic you know
what i mean like um yeah a little retaining wall going into the yeah he jumped it's probably like three feet and he jumps over it like um like he's a track star he's gone
and he's fucking gone dude and he yelped he yelled he was yelping and i look and his chick's just
there and now she's standing up in the hole um blanket surrounded by like 30 seagulls big those
are for those people who don't know seagulls are fucking big like when you get close to them they're it's a big bird it is a big big bird albatross
so i'm watching her and i'm watching her and i start like walking over towards her because
it's like her dude's gone and she's surrounded by birds and i can't tell if she's tripping
so she gathers up her blanket and now the birds are like anything they've pulled
a bag apart they pulled a bunch of their shit apart right and i get over there and let's see uh
eight uh typically ranging from uh a wingspan of uh eight to twelve feet yeah oh yeah these
weren't that big but big probably four five, six foot wingspan, big,
big fucking birds. So I go over there and she's got all her shit, but then now there's food
everywhere, right? A bag's been torn apart. There's two smoothies that are destroyed in
these plastic cups that the seagulls have ripped apart. I go, I walk over there and I, and I kind
of get a little bit of a black, you know, affect a black affect on. I've got a little swagger.
I'm letting Savon come out.
I'm like, hey, girl, what's up?
And she goes, hey.
And I go, what happened?
And she goes, my boyfriend's just terrified of birds.
But I immediately am just like all black people are terrified of seagulls.
I just put it in the bucket.
Good call.
Do you know what I mean?
Just throw that in there.
Add that to the prejudice and discrimination. And I go, no shit. And she goes, yeah. I said, okay. I go, you want me to help you clean all this up and help you back to your car where he is? And she goes, please. I helped her pick up all her shit. Socks and shoes. The dude just split socks and shoes and napkins. And he's gone, dude. He was in the parking lot in the car. He's in the car.
He's out. out yeah 30 yards
away 100 feet away oh man anyway i i did not know um i did not know i did not know black people were birds i saw sporty beth at fit fest fit fest nothing sporty about her someone said to me
hey how can she have a baby if she's on anti-psychotics i don't know i don't know what
the deal is with that i don't think you want to be on anti-psychotics though if you're pregnant
no you don't think so caleb no definitely not probably like
right yeah i would not take anything yeah i'm sorry usually you try to avoid any medications
while you're pregnant i don't you're not a doctor i'm not a doctor and i'm not a woman
so what do i know get them i want to see um uh i want to see if there's any black people in here who will confirm that.
Oh, yeah.
Look, it's severe black.
I would have a heart attack if one landed on my head.
One time I was hanging out with Dave Castro.
I posted the video on my Instagram a couple of times and a bird landed on his head.
It was amazing.
I was dying laughing.
R.I.P. to that old account. me see uh suza's anticipation uh what where is blade
oh was it blade no oh jeremy are so are black dudes afraid of how do you feel about seagulls
yeah don't assume
uh cock uh bro the first time i saw dwight howard speaking of black men in downtown la
his girlfriend at the same time was maybe 5 3 95 pounds oh god that's awesome
spinner
right it's like that that gymnast and shaquille o'neal what was that gymnast
oh my goodness.
Spinner.
For sure.
No, no.
I don't see any. No.
Birds are little dinosaurs.
Yeah.
Oh, Rambler.
Audrey's a spinner. Holy shit. I didn't know that. 5'3", 95 pounds.
Not 95 pounds. Oh'3", 95 pounds. Not 95 pounds.
She's tiny.
Oh, and not 95 pounds.
But yeah, she's small.
Such uses of being are particularly troubling
at a moment when hate crimes against Latinos have been rising.
What?
Insert any ethnicity you want. This is just the same article about chinese about blacks about
muslims it's just the same thing hate crimes are on the rise for latinos i've never even heard that
before this is from 2019 this is according to the center for the study of hate and extremism
oh my god can you imagine working that's your job to work at a place that's called hate and extremism.
Anyway, the moral of that story is I'm a helper. I'm a helper.
James Neely was also on the beach, and he was just laughing, taking pictures.
I went over to help.
Got to make some money somehow.
He followed them to their car afterwards and asked if they needed representation.
Are you an attorney or?
I'm going to do that as a bit and come down to Newport with you and just approach people and be like, hey, I'm an agent and you would make a great model.
But like, we'll do it to the most random people.
The truth is, is he ran over to them while I was helping them.
And he's like, don't associate with someone.
Hey, are you sure you want help from this guy?
But he's helping me because my boyfriend ran away.
That's how it appears, lady.
I felt bad for the guy.
That's kind of a deal breaker to run away from some shit while you're growing up.
Do you have any fears like that, that you just have this impulse to run like it's the first
thought and everything else comes secondary like you just shove your kids out of the way and take
off like a snake no i really don't i'm i'm i've turned into a bad i'm a bad dude now that i have
kids yeah i'm a potential threatening human being if my wife wife's around, I'd let her handle it.
That's for sure.
Oh, the snake?
You would let your wife handle the snake?
Yeah, there's no way I would have freed a snake at my front door yesterday if she was around.
I would have told her.
Wait, what happened yesterday at your front door?
Yesterday I was coming into my front door.
And I looked down and there was like a snake.
And it was like probably about three feet long
it was really tiny and uh that's a good size snake yeah but yeah it was it was pretty thin
it looked like it had just eaten something so it was kind of like it had like a little chub in the
middle hey do you have snow on the ground at your house no not yet it's so weird that you saw a
snake in December yeah it's super weird that you saw a snake in december yeah it's
super weird that's why i also thought it was very weird so i opened the door and i just kind of left
alone but i was by myself so i left alone opened the door started working on the house went to
walk out of the door and it was still there like it hadn't moved so i was like well maybe it's dead
so then i took a screwdriver and i just started like prodding at it yeah like one of
the long ones not like it's short like like a two foot long screwdriver and it like rolled over like
the one you used to clean your teeth in in omaha it's called the tooth cleaner yeah that's my
toothpick i usually that's my two foot long yeah and uh it like turned around and like looked at me and then i noticed it had like a fish netting
stuck on it oh like it had like slithered through some fish net and got stuck just some shit some
shattuck and shit yeah right and so then i took a knife to it and i like cut the fish netting off
and like then it just looked at me and flicked its tongue and then it like slithered away into its little hidey hole oh this story is better than i thought i was getting
a little concerned i was gonna have to tear you up dude this is amazing nah i just let it i if i
had been with somebody else i would not have fucking done that but i was by myself so i was
like i gotta handle this hey dude when you go to heaven, open with that story. Okay, I will. When you're at the gate. Just be like, dude, this one time, dude.
One time, I saved Satan, so.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
This one time.
Wow, that's a really cool story.
I like that.
Steven.
Oh, wow.
Look at that redhead.
Steven Fregosi.
Holy shit.
Me likey, you redhead uh we found a frozen snake when uh or went
fishing a couple weeks ago my three-year-old son was so amazed by it frozen damn that's crazy
uh daniel garrity now suze's turn for a fake story geez
shit wow are you kidding me
like a five
year old okay let's just put on the spot and has to tell
a story so he tells a story about how he saved a snake
um
after social
media uproar shorts issued another
apology saying on NPR was a mistake to
include the answer it is indeed
offensive and I personally apologize.
I don't even know what this is about. I think I skipped something.
Wow, there's people listening to this.
It doesn't even matter what this guy's
apologizing for, but this is
a professor at a university.
It stands as one of the strangest apologies in the history
of apologies, said William A.
Naroccio, director of master of
arts and liberal arts and science programs
at San Diego State University
and author of
seductive hallucinations
of the Mexican in America
more psyop
crazy dude
can you imagine you're a professor of some school
and you're you're you're
rating apologies that's worse than rating fucking crossfit athletes that's like down there
wow rating apologies
damn uh chan noriega director of ucla's chicano studies research center added it's probably more
widely known as a derogatory term for mexicans than for being hit in the head with a baseball
oh the two forms of beaner it's also been associated with deadly crimes in 2008 in
suffolk county of long island new york an ecuadorian immigrant marcello lucero 37 was
fatally stabbed and what prosecutors said was a rampage by a gang of white teens who described their actions as beaner hopping.
Jesus.
Wow.
Oh, shit.
That's the one example you have from 2008.
This article was written in 2019.
There's been a skyrocket Of hate crimes against Latinos
And you have to choose an example from 2008
From 11 years ago
I'd love to see that gang of white guys
Just on Long Island
I'm just curious what they look like
Skinheads
It's not entirely clear when
Biener first came into use as an epithet
Hey listen
The point of this whole thing is that
you can if you when you talk about this you're allowed to say this one
there is one racial slur you are not allowed to say or type out well you can't
but you can't i just it's fascinating that there's a hierarchy of racial slurs.
Oh, no.
I'm going to put something in the private chat real quick.
Oh, we can't act like Biener is a term from the 70s and it's gone away, he said.
I think in the 21st century, the term has much more national weight to it.
God, this is like a Floyd 19 thing.
It's just crazy.
All this article is, and the guy's name
is dennis romero is just the implication is is that it's just it's just fear it's just spreading
fear yeah that's the that's the uh it's two things it's like spreading fear but it's also
like spreading like hey now you you need to be on the lookout for this.
You know, like if I just started telling you, hey, Sevan, there's a guy in Newport Beach with a bat and he's hitting little Armenian boys.
Yeah.
You're going to be like, what the fuck?
And then I say, oh, by the way, he's a this person is a certain race. It's a male and it's a certain race and Turkish, Turkish guy.
Make it a Turkish guy.
Turkish guy hitting small kids on the beach with the bat.
Yeah.
And on top of that, this has been something that's been happening for a while that's been we've been seeing a steady
incline of uh get the impala and the beaners we're going to get this turkish fuck exactly
and if it was three black guys i would just fucking call all my seagull friends
we could get them yeah do the signals i belong to a white
gang it's called the seagulls oh come on with that name well because black people are afraid of
seagulls oh man be afraid scary as shit you ever think that we just live like fucking kings like
gods on earth like not even people that long ago right like especially to my sister-in-law just like had
a baby it's like uh the baby's like three or four months old and it's funny all these precautions
are taking because they're new parents and like everything and then all i just said is like i was
sitting there and i was watching them and i was like man imagine this was 1653 yeah all your shit
you're doing doesn't even fucking exist. Nope. The baby gates.
Dude, you could go back and we could find the richest empire, right?
Like just somebody who has land and wealth and all this power,
and we still have more than him right now.
Our poorest people still have more than that person did.
Like we have the ability to fly.
We have the ability to communicate on these technology devices.
The fentanyl user on the streets of San Francisco has more fucking going for them than the richest person in the world fucking 100 years ago.
Yeah.
So, Sousa, do you think about the Roman Empire on a daily basis then?
Isn't that some TikTok thing Sousa's trying to do with me?
Who doesn't?
That's where the standee was invented.
Absolutely, I do.
In 1652 is when the standee was invented and
births plummeted after that that was the first form of contraception
this is the standee and then it was harambe and then ever since then it's been downhill
i just think like if you brought some of those people from the past and you're like here's our
biggest problems in california pronouns you're gonna be like what the fuck
unless you're a black dude it's seagulls California pronouns. They're going to be like, what the fuck?
Unless you're a black dude at seagulls.
Oh my goodness.
It's fucking bizarro world,
dude.
It sucks too,
because you know,
there's people who know what we're saying is true, but you're when it roosts in your home,
you'll have an emotional response to it.
So there's like,
just imagine someone who's like really conservative and fucking knows that it's all everything's just fucking to keep the fear
going and to just get clicks and everything but as soon as it comes to asian hate if they're asian
they're like well maybe that is true maybe there is asian hate yeah or like the second like all
like now the talk is all anti-semitism even though you know what's crazy i was on the phone with someone yesterday and they they use the term jude
like as a verb they say they go it's not like i'm trying to do the guy
people are just ripping it free and loose
oh my god you know who it is too
you guys know who it is it's one of our homies uh motherfucker i didn't even
care i didn't i didn't i didn care. I didn't say nothing to him.
No, you weren't triggered?
No.
I reached in.
I put my hand on the holster.
I didn't
unsnap it.
Just kind of like a...
You got a snap on your holster? Yeah, just kind of like a you know just like um you got a snap on your holster
you ever yeah just kind of like just like i was like i was just like this and then and then he
said he goes it's not like i'm trying to do the guy and i was like you know yeah yeah yeah yeah
just just not nothing crazy, but just...
Dude, did you see that gun ad for Ruger?
Yeah.
Holy shit, dude.
Oh, my God.
Ruger has the crazy...
It got pulled down already.
You're pulling that up?
Well, I was going to see if I could find the screenshot that we had.
I wonder if they apologize for that.
God, I would hate it if a gun company apologized for anything.
Gun companies are never going to apologize.
Okay, good.
I almost got a standee.
Easy, easy, Haley.
Back to your room.
She's how you assume the position.
I bet you if jedediah
stood up he'd get a hand a standee jedi you should use that for motivation do you like your
standing from the back or the front the front would make a weird dude dude the front one reach
around what yeah the the just facing just straight what do you mean no it's just like this
when i give someone a standee, I do it like this.
But from the back.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
From the back is a reach around.
From the back is a reach around.
Got it.
Okay.
Okay.
That's fine.
It could be.
That's not a derivative.
I think it's just a subcategory.
I think they're related.
Okay.
So a standee is a little more intimate face-to-face, if you will.
Yeah.
Standees, like, you just get your – I think –
Like a reach-around.
It could just be anybody.
I was talking to a friend the other day, and they said they got a standee without asking.
I've never gotten a standee without kind of, like, demanding.
Like, hey, this has to be – like, you run in, like, hey, this has to be like like like you run in like hey what's this has to
be taken care of like you got a like you stepped on a mousetrap and you need someone to take it
off your foot you know what i mean like oh my fucking god can you get this off it's like that
somebody help or i won't post the workouts yeah yeah yeah yeah better disarm this we're not gonna
post the work if you want to know what shoes to wear tomorrow
yeah see Sarah gets it eye contact
yeah
I don't think I made eye contact
I think I was just
I think I was looking down
just watching how it was being handled
yeah
criminy sure that thing shoots off
somewhere like safe direction angle it off a little bit yeah that thing go over but
look at don't point that thing don't sweep us you know you know that term sweeping like
like for guns you're not supposed to like no matter what the barrel is not supposed to
what's it called flag flag yeah i've never heard that flagging you don't want to flag somebody
oh i thought is it that is that the same as sweeping uh i would i would think sweeping
is like you're actually firing the gun and you're sweeping oh oh but also you could be
like sweeping a building i thought like if if you're just like this and then you're like hey guys
come on and then you did that and there were some people in front of you swept them
flagged them flagged them okay shit shit all right i have some friends who are like no at
all i can't about guns i can't wait to tell them that that's not sweeping that's flagging
yeah i don't know yeah judy would say yeah i'm admiring the handiwork yeah it's so funny when judy makes comments like that because look at her like photo you know
like it's like a sweet little like nice asian lady wife yeah she like put she put down her
abacus uh for a second to take a picture with her husband oh i have an abacus did i tell you
about that no there's one posted up on the door it's just i just have an abacus. Did I tell you about that? No. There's one posted up on the door.
I just have an abacus on the back door over here.
I'll send you a picture of it later.
You found it at the Shattuck Inn?
Yeah, it's like drilled into a door.
That's another thing.
So now black people are afraid of seagulls.
And when I think of Asians, I think of them as like they don't use calculators.
Yeah.
They're abacus users.
Anyone else have that prejudice?
No?
You think Asians – in your mind, if I said, hey, an Asian guy is doing some math over there with some tools, do you picture him using a modern calculator or an abacus?
I mean their mind.
Yeah, I don't see them.
Right, right.
Good point. Good point. Good answer, good see them. Right. Good point.
Good point.
Good answer.
Good answer.
I want to see that.
I want to see the abacus.
You come on.
You want an abacus. Oh, look at Jay Hartle
flagging 100%.
While he's running with a flag, he would know.
Anyway. running with a flag he would know anyway no that's that's not an offensive term the b word i mean i won't say it on this show
but the epithet that's uh Mexicans, it starts with a B and also means like you get hit in a baseball game.
It's not a bad word.
It's even a funny word, isn't it?
Like imbecile.
That's a funny word.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, they're all just words, right?
What if somebody didn't never heard the word?
Yeah.
And they didn't they didn't
tell you it was offensive and then and then what would happen nothing nothing holy you'd be like
hey dude did you have a stroke what did you just say yeah i've been cussed out listening to pedro
talk every other word pedro says might as well be a racial slur yeah yeah so it's not exactly
the words but how we internalize them is what you're saying.
And then therefore that begs the question that we have a choice.
To be offended or not.
To be offended.
And then imagine that if everything you looked at and the authorities on what's happening in the world told you to be offended by them,
then your choice might be limited, especially if you grew up to always be offended by them because you were told by those before you that if you hear this
word that you need to go to action. That's that entire article is making sure that people stay
in line. That's all that article is. Got to keep them there. Got to make sure people know,
because if we didn't for a generation, might be forgotten and if it's forgotten we would
be getting along way too well there was something that a video i played where someone said that
someone said hey everything's a lie i can't remember and and you choose which lies you want
to live your life by and that's a lie that that people choose to live their life by it's crazy
yeah that was a great video it's like the the lie the riddle something else right that guy that was
talking about it and was like, everything's a lie,
but we just choose to hold on. Like, you're not
really Sevan. You were just given that
by your parents and not
a lot. Look it, I'm going to choose
this lie. Damn, Sevan's hair
looks great. Thank you.
Fine.
I mean, you just
got the beach vibe going on. That's why the show,
The Beachfront Life. But I did choose to put my hair down to get
oh shit I can't even get on fucking
Instagram
another one
another one bites the dust
damn
oh yeah for people who don't know I lost
my account again
fuck
this isn't the newest one this was the no but this just happened uh the other
this happened a few days ago but but when i just now when i tried to log in they wanted to remind
me the seven rinsed his toast and that's crazy is hillar made a post um saying hey this is someone's
new account but that post got me over a thousand followers yeah dude like remember when i was
chatting with you and him when i was chatting with
you and him and i was like anytime he reposts something of mine or does something there's like
three or four followers yeah that motherfucker's an inf like he's a real influencer yeah mover
yeah needle mover thank you oh perfect he's gonna be my first uh our first representation
we now represent hillar oh oh that would be awesome and i will take uh 45 of all earnings
top line we give we don't take
yeah no it's okay hillar i got you though i got you now dude we give you 55
uh neely wouldn't work with me though i. I don't know. What are you talking about? He got T. Lander and Sporty Beth.
Oh, you don't think you're victim enough?
You don't think you play the victim enough, too?
He doesn't play with offensive players?
He's a defensive coordinator?
You said something to me that's fucking driving me fucking nuts yesterday, Sousa.
It's driving me fucking nuts yesterday, Sousa. It's driving me fucking nuts.
Imagine someone comes on this show.
I don't know if you said this on the show or afterwards.
But you said imagine someone comes on the show, and then when they get off the show, your agent doesn't immediately contact Sousa and be like, hey, if you give us any clips, we'll post them or we'll at least think about posting them.
So let us know what we can do to help you.
That was awesome.
Thanks for having them on.
Has an agent ever done that to you?
To me?
Yeah.
No.
They fucking carry bags.
That is fucking nuts.
I know.
So imagine Emily Rolfe has been on this show
and imagine how good it was for her to come on the show.
You guys are the 240 most vocal fucking nutbags in the space.
This is the place.
This is where fucking people come to stretch their arms and their tongues out and flap them around, right?
You're the shit.
You're the crew.
You guys are the fucking seagulls of CrossFit.
And, uh, and you roll deep and you have someone on like Emily who fucking comes on the show and hits a fucking grand slam.
Her husband's fucking funny.
She's telling funny jokes.
She makes light of her fucking arm cut thing.
And her agent doesn't call Sousa and be like,
Hey, let us know if Emily loved being on the show.
That was great.
Imagine not. Let us know if you have loved being on the show. That was great. Imagine not.
Let us know if you have some clips.
Make some clips for us.
I'll post them on my blah, blah, blah.
You're not a fucking agent.
You're a fucking lech.
You know you're fucking not doing your fucking job in the slightest.
And when you told me that yesterday, I was just like, you didn't say the lech part.
I'm throwing that in there but dude if you had an agent who did that that would add a
thousand times more value the whole thing is just to win the hearts and minds of the media if you're
the agent that's your job it's not to fucking get a noble contract and then fucking have hillar ass
pound you for being a fucking sellout.
In a year,
Hiller let us know that every person who has a noble contract is a fucking sellout.
Get your shot or you can't work here.
I would have done that.
Like the second I had an athlete to like befriending Hiller would have been
my number one.
Oh,
I started as soon as I saw Hiller pop on the scene,
I started courting this motherfucker.
And in fact, all the courtship Sorry go ahead
I was going to say exactly what you were saying
If you just watch how we move through stuff
There's a pretty good blueprint right there
Listen and those of you who are like
I thought you were afraid of Hiller
Listen that's part of the courtship motherfucker
I walk by a girl
If I wasn't married
I'd be like damn you're so hot I'm scared to talk to you
I'm not really scared to talk to her I just did a girl if I wasn't married. I'd be like, damn, you're so hot. I'm scared to talk to you.
I'm not really scared to talk to her.
I just did talk to her.
I'm courting.
Big picture, people.
Big picture.
See Hiller walk in the room.
I'm like, shit, dust off the breadcrumbs on my shirt.
Start.
Let the courtship start.
Stand up straight when he walks in the room.
Yeah.
I love Lauren Khalil, too, man. I see someone like that just working their ass off i'm courting you i want you on my team i want to set you free i
want to bring you onto my team and just set you free i want to work or not even on my team i don't
mean to be so good as that i want to work shoulder to shoulder with you i don't work shoulder to
shoulder with the people who show up every single day. We will be so strong together. I'm a link, and I'm here every day, and Suze is a link,
and he's here every day, and Caleb is a link, and he's here every day,
and now we've got three links.
Taylor is a link.
He shows up every day.
Pedro is a link.
Now we've got five fucking links.
Tyler Watkins, like always available.
Now we've got another link.
The whole crew.
It's crazy to me that more agents haven't utilized that media space because the first conversation that I would have with my athlete, like depend, like, let's say they're high level, like top 10 games, athletes, athlete, you know, maybe two years.
They've been three years.
They've been the first conversation would be like, all right, cool.
Like, what are we doing long-term here?
I'm not talking about next season.
I'm talking about 10 years from now.
Like, what do you want to do?
Because this moment right now,
even if you're at the top of your game like Tia was,
is very temporary in the game of life.
So how do we leverage what you're doing right now
to build a bigger either platform or a better strategy
or whatever it is that you want to go
i mean look at what um hillary froning does right she has like her airbnb like the sisterhood airbnb
thing and has built this whole thing leveraging her you know popularity through rich and the
the media that they've had to like create something that has nothing to do with crossfit outside the
space but now is very is that really true she's done that yeah yeah
we've stayed in one of them that's the fucking model dude that should be everyone's business
consultant i didn't know hillary had done that funny done that if she's done that
dude she's had it for years too because we did it back in like 2016 or 17 or something you rented
a place from her before caleb yeah in cookville they have like this whole setup for it right
caleb where it's like a nice like house and it's all done up like how are you not leveraging the people around
you yeah in a second fucking suze is gonna have the fucking biggest fucking agency platform in
the space leveraging off this podcast on accident yeah what i was talking about too is if you're an
agent you should definitely build infrastructure because if we were recording athletes and brought them on, we have infrastructure to not only connect you with brands, but we have infrastructure to get you your own clothing line.
We could have your own car.
I don't want to take him.
What if you represented Colton and all of a sudden Grill Your Ass Off was like, we don't want to give you money, Sevan.
We wanted to give it to Grill Your Ass Off.
I'd be pissed.
You took my money away i mean there's ways to do that uh without there's plenty there's abundance out there because if those brands i like your mindset
there's abundance it will the brands get bigger they could pay you more it's not a binary thing
like if i sponsor this show and caleb starts you know the shattuck and just takes off now i want
to sponsor both of them because that's just going to grow the
business twice as much,
which is going to allow me to have more resources for both of you guys.
So you would not only have like a,
you'd be representing a podcast,
but you'd be representing a series on how to turn your pile of shit house
into something livable.
Yeah.
And it's dumb.
I'm improving.
You'd be in the home improvement space.
There you go.
Find some,
find some energy there, but it's also the shattuck and sponsored by home depot oh my god or lowes lowes lowes closer to your house closer to my house sponsored by lowes i mean like also to
you were out there got some lowes overalls on and shit and every shot now all of a sudden he's on
the podcast and lowes overalls synergy give me some start coming with demands like hey dude you can't say the word beaner anymore
lowe's is tripping because we're all sitting outside their warehouse
oh i want some i want those problems
god i want those problems listen hey you guys know caleb have i ever talked to you uh
on the phone off the show have i have i ever called you off the show i almost probably like
five or six times that's it yeah i can't ever it's fine i was telling someone that
they're like you don't talk to him i'm like no just on my entire relationship with Caleb is either at a table eating steaks and drinking margaritas or on the show.
Yeah, that pretty much sounds good.
No deal, people.
No complete faith.
Just rolling.
Just dudes rolling.
Just how like dudes should roll.
Just people rolling.
Get in where you fit in.
Fuck. So cool. people rolling get in where you fit in fuck so cool so proud of it i have zero humility around all the relationships that we all have well you got something going on what are you tripping on over there suza i see you uh
yeah you reading something funny come in i saw you you you no no i was just thinking you got me on the thread of i
mean you know how it goes like you get me on tell me tell me more agent talk tell me i like you like
agent talk uh shattuckin man love it super okay yeah he just heard lows and he's like is that
really a possibility we were actually joking about it the other day because my mom made a video she like clipped
together a video in lows of us like pulling around the shower that we bought yeah like just a joke
video and uh i saw that was cool she's good her mom's like you should tag lows in it maybe they'll
sponsor you i'm like maybe yeah damn your mom is your mom is advanced she's on it she's on it call her hi
yo what's up guys it's uh eric i uh left a weekend review comment you guys talked about
the the fireman question about a fire department affiliated is this a good time to turn the
conversation in that route or sure sure um i did get a note from someone on
the affiliate team saying that all those dudes get that shit for free and they should like it was
like suza was uh that it's always been that way and suza was everything suza said i guess was
correct but go ahead go ahead why look at yeah no i i was at a i was at a like our largest fire
department conference annually is uh and uh in Indianapolis every year in April.
And CrossFit actually had a booth there.
And I didn't have an opportunity.
I was working the event.
I didn't have an opportunity to run the booth.
But a buddy of mine said he stopped by.
And there's some flow masters working at the booth.
And they were selling that idea of affiliating.
And, you know, I know Sousa works with Livermore FD.
And so he probably has firsthand experience with a lot of this.
But, yeah, I was interested in affiliation.
And basically, I emailed Dave at the ask.
So I'll see if he replies back.
But just trying to figure out what, you know, what comes with that affiliation.
Obviously, like Sousa said, during y'all's review of the weekend review, you know, we're not selling CrossFit, you know, directly.
But it will help our members stay fit for duty.
And as Susan may know, and I think out, you guys out West, man, especially the fire department, you guys are way, you you know the firefighters tend to be generally more fit um it tends to be the more forefront why i'm not in florida and really the
south and the east um you know a lot of the administrations uh fire departments put that
on the back burner and um you know i'm gonna be straight up honest with you guys literally like
you know your chances of being rescued from a fire um
particular literally depends on who the hell's on shift that day um you know we're we're not immune
to to what's happening in society with chronic disease and and almost uh you could argue that we
you know our our issues even multiply due to, you know, chronic lack of sleep,
shitty, shitty firehouse meals, you know, dehydration, you know,
on top of just exposed to shitty chemicals.
Hell, our brand 50% of you are alcoholics, but go on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
50 is nice.
But half of our You know our gear
I mean a brand new gear
Has just
Masks and chemicals
And you know
There's
There's widowed wives
That are
Fighting gear manufacturers
Right now
You mean like from
Off gassing of gear
Give me an example
Like you put on a helmet
And it's off gassing
And you're fucking
Like those babies
Like car seats man
That's another thing
Buying your kid a car seat
And you open that shit up
Like I ain't putting my kid
In that thing
Smells like that You guys gotta realize any any fabric that you waterproof
yeah it's going to have some sort of gnarly chemical on it so our gear is meant to keep
um moisture you know uh you know off of our skin so all that fabric is coated in um we call it p
fast and there's of course all the all the gear manufacturers got called out by the PFAS.
And now they say they have cancer-reducing gear or cancer-free gear.
And all they've done is just, if it's PFAS A, now they're using chemical PFAS B and then
selling it to us as if it's a safer gear.
And a lot of manufacturers will try to point us away from,
you know, gear causing the increased cancer rates to, say, smoke and whatnot.
But, you know, fire departments are barely running fire calls, you know,
and they're still having a high rate of cancer and all that.
Hey, do wetsuits – I have a question for you.
Do wetsuits have that?
I just bought new wetsuits for my kid.
Am I putting cancer shit on them?
I don't know. I imagine.
I'm going to ask her. Do I wear wetsuits
during the winter?
It's a different material. Obviously, it's
rubber versus a fabric that
we're going to use on our bunker gear.
Okay, good. I don't want to get my...
I don't want my kids getting cancer. Do
wetsuits cause
cancer?
The vast majority of wetsuits on sale today are made of a synthetic rubber called neoprene.
The commercial name for something, choloprene rubber.
Is the product of a toxic carcinogenic chemical process?
Oh, God.
If my wife sees this, we're fucked.
I don't think it is.
Are wetsuits toxic to wear?
The truth is wetsuits are not only potentially toxic, but harmful to the environment.
Like, I give a fuck about the environment.
Yeah.
Amen, brother.
Potentially toxic.
Okay, sorry.
Thanks for ruining my whole fucking week at the beach.
Yeah, no worries.
I wrote you a couple times too.
I DM'd you.
I noticed you guys always have,
not always, but for public safety
representation, you always have a PD
officer on. And I was just
curious if you had any connections
with Susan to have
a fire department on. Because I think
you guys would be pretty shocked
about our... We're on the front
lines of chronic disease um and i know that these are all subjects that are passionate to the three
you all meaning meaning half your calls are going over and taking a fat dude picking a fat dude up
and fell behind a toilet seat at the public at the park and he can't get out yeah 80 depending
on where you're at most of the career departments in the country are fire based EMS,
meaning we handle EMS calls as a fire department.
And a lot of departments even transport to the hospital.
It's very common for 70,
80,
even 90% of fire departments run EMS over any other call.
And of those EMS runs,
it's predominantly chronic disease.
Can you come on the show without getting in trouble?
Yes.
Our
fire service world, we have our own little podcast
and everything.
Send me a DM to my new account because my
DMs are empty in there right now. It's a
Sevan Matosian. I'll see
it for sure. I feel like a complete loser. I have no one in there right now it's a seven metosian and like and i'll see it for sure i feel like a
complete loser i have no one in there right now it's awesome yeah no no worries yeah there's
definitely you know we can definitely enlighten the community on what the hell is going on and
basically rolling it all back to why i wrote dave because like look if we're sick as hell like how
am i supposed to how am i supposed to you know help somebody that that's
chronically ill as well right so i really am trying to get the fire department and um involved
with crossfit i'm trying my hardest i'm using all my connections and stuff like that and i have this
kind of vision like like suzy gave the idea of an l1 trainer you know crossfit wants to ease the
burden of the cost of that because a lot of you know, the department's not going to pay for that.
We're going to have to pay that thousand bucks on our own. Um,
and to become a trainer in the department and everything.
That's why it's reaching out. And again,
I believe we're the frontline chronic disease doctors is too,
but you got to think we're going to go in these people's homes to grab them,
to bring them to the doctor.
So the shit that we run into is almost unimaginable.
Like the health that you go in,
no matter the wealth of the community.
Sorry,
sorry,
sorry.
Hold on one second.
Sorry,
dude,
I think you're using the wrong side of the sponge.
Oh shit.
That doesn't have a rough side.
Oh,
you got to use hot,
use scalding hot water on that to get rid of that oil.
Can you imagine being married to me and I'm fucking micromanage how you fucking clean up a pan
Fucking sucks
We're all here for it
Could have just muted yourself but it's good
We're glad to be a part of it
Hey
Everything you're saying is important
Not as important as that this pan gets cleaned
But
Priorities
You ever show up to a call and someone has something Rammed up their ass that this pan gets clean, but... Priorities. Priorities here.
You ever show up to a call and someone has something rammed up their
ass? Yeah.
Wow. Okay, yeah. Please DM me.
I'd love to have you on.
I got a free storage of that. Okay, good.
Okay, thank you for calling.
Yeah, I love a firefighter.
I always make my kids wave.
Alright, I appreciate it. And Susan,
with your connection man i'd like
to wrap with you too and get get some ideas from you if you don't mind yeah another time
absolutely what the fuck is that okay thank you love you bye what the fuck is that he's gonna be
seeing a lot of these he's gonna be seeing a lot of these rammed up people's asses i think what is
that where did you find that is that new this? This is Bill Henninger's Instagram account. What is that? It's a coffee mug.
Oh my god. That is fucking gangster.
Eliko makes one that's like –
When did he post that?
Yesterday. Eliko makes one that's like the same size.
That's a 22-pound coffee cup?
Yeah.
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are you
fucking kidding me
Bill I don't ask you
for much
Jesus I'm
texting him right now
Bill or Katie
who should I text I'm trying to see I don't text
I try not to bug them.
I feel like you all better look with Bill.
Yeah. Really?
Uh-oh. Not Bill
Grundler. Wrong Bill.
Well, you could text him. You just probably won't get it.
Bill Henninger.
Should I say something cheesy like good morning
or should I just go in just hard?
Can I have that like I do
to my wife? Just can I have that? Raw dog it my wife just can i have that raw dog it good morning i'm here can i have one of those coffee cups cups is it a cup is that
insulting to call that a cup mug he labeled it a mug vessels Vessels. How about vessels? How about vessels? It's a vessel. Artillery shell.
Artillery shell mug.
You should call it one of those.
Oh, that.
Oh, okay.
Can I have one of those artillery shell mugs?
Dude.
God, this is really presumptuous of me.
Please.
Please. Right? Oh, absolutely. Better put that please. Commauous of me. Please, please, right?
Oh, absolutely.
Better put that please in there.
Please.
Please.
Please.
We're advertising it on the show right now.
He don't give two fucks about that.
I wish I could leverage that.
He does.
He'd sell them out.
No, he doesn't.
He's big.
He's big.
He's big.
He's big time.
More big time.
Oh, Dear Bill and Katie.
Wow, dude. More big time. Oh, Dear Bill and Katie. Wow, dude.
I sent it.
Ooh, I felt a little tingle go down my spine when I sent it.
Holy shit, dude.
I need more pictures of that.
I also feel like Bill's the type of guy that wouldn't respond to you,
but then one shows up at your house.
Possibly.
You know, like no response to that.
Hey, dude, that's got to be a $200 mug, dude.
I don't think the ones that Aliko makes are not that expensive.
You think Aliko makes a 22-pound coffee cup like that?
I know they do.
Okay, find it. Let's see that.
Yeah, Barry McCaulner, 100 bucks easy.
Yeah.
First it was an April Fool's joke, and then they actually made it a real thing.
Oh.
Let me see more pictures of that Ileka one.
Oh, it's like an Ileka bar in the handle.
Yeah, it's got an Erling. The Rogue one has an Erling in the handle as well. Oh, earling the rogue one has an earling in the
handle as well oh it's a strength test to see if you can do you get your coffee in the morning or
not first lift of the day god do you hook grip while drinking your coffee i like the um i'm
gonna have to i do like that cup but i think let's go back and look
at bills i think i like i just like how oh shit that's not a good sign if it spills every time you
um set it down
what i like their bills designs way better though what's that thing on top? That's the artillery shell.
Looks like it's just like a cap for it when you're not using it.
Are those on the Rogue site
already, you think? I don't know. Let's find out.
Rogue
artillery. I hooked up
the rower.
Do they cause cancer? Yes, everything does.
Hey, maybe Rogue should design Dave's olive oil container.
And it should be some sort of usable implement.
Holy shit.
What if your olive oil container could be used as a fractional?
A fractional plate?
Like on a barbell?
Yeah.
When it's empty.
Like make it a circular one?
Yeah, maybe like a circular tube
that's filled with olive oil made of steel.
Oh, interesting.
And then it ends up being a fractional.
There's three different sizes of the olive oil.
So three different fractionals.
You know what would be cool? Because you know how Dave camps all the time too i'm a fucking genius someone say it
i mean it's yeah okay it's a it's a good i mean you're coming up with just like simple things
like that an agent you just pointed out how every agent in the world is fucking up yeah and the last
piece anyone could have come up with that look at me i'm doing olive oil fractional fucking i'm bringing two worlds together yours is like just being the obvious
yeah you go camps all the time we do the olive oil same same look but it's a metal flask so then
you can reuse that flask oh for booze wanted anything hey listen listen that fractional
could also be a flask and a fractional you You could fill it with water to make it heavier.
You could turn your two-pound fractional into a two-and-a-half-pound fractional.
Dude, me and you, we got some synergy going right now.
We're brainstorming.
I was trying to big dick you, and instead, I got to stop doing that.
It's not me against you, Sousa.
We're together.
Yes.
We found it.
Yes, I don't have to.
It doesn't have to be my idea or your idea.
It could be our idea.
Now we're talking.
Socialism.
God, I'm such a fucking arrogant megalomaniac.
CEO for agency.
I don't need your help when I'm doing the show.
I know.
She just chimed in a little there. I didn't know exactly what she said, but she chimed in a little,
and I didn't like it.
Normally, I don't do a show with
live audience in the kitchen.
Jesus Christ. Put some clothes on
for crying out loud.
Or don't.
Oh, you don't want
a metal container. The oils will
soak up the metal. I'm staring
at what a thousand air squats
a week will do to your body how's it look fucking crazy yeah i need to do some more air squats
yesterday we did jr's one of jr's tests it was like uh it was that death by workout
it was like two shuttle runs and then 10 wall balls every minute on the minute until you fail.
And if you make it to 30 minutes, you just stop.
Did you add a wall ball each time or does it stay the same?
No, it stays the same.
Okay, got it.
And I got to like the 12th minute and my wife got to the 30th minute.
Whoa.
Yeah, that's welcome to my world.
Yeah.
300 wall balls yesterday. Yeah, that's my welcome to my world. 300 wall balls
yesterday. Damn.
That's impressive. Do you just sit there
and watch her when you're done? You sit there?
Yeah. I literally sat. I brought
myself up against the wall and I was like, good job,
honey. She went to like the 23rd
minute. Yeah.
She got to like minute 23. I was like, you can't stop now.
She
loves you and hates you.
That's awesome.
That's cool.
I thought it was impressive when he said he made it to the 12th minute.
I was like, damn, 120 wall balls.
I know.
I was like, fuck my legs.
Magdalene Eggert ordered Dave's olive oil for standees only.
I'm not sure I understand it, but I just like how you worked in the olive oil in a standee.
Does anyone understand what that means?
No, but you got to lube up.
You can't just.
Oh, oh, he's got like the Judy effect where they look super nice and innocent.
Wow.
She does.
Ever since I've seen her in the chat, I think differently of her.
Wow.
How do you pronounce the name?
Mag Magdalene Magdalene.
Yeah.
Edgar.
God, you know, she got made fun of like a mofo with that
last name egger maggie mag magdalene i think that's her married name i think she's married
egger yeah i saw her somewhere she's hot i i can't remember where i either saw her
masters or i saw her i told her on instagram or something only standees oh like as a oh it's like
a new website only instead of only fans only standees oh that's funny and i like it better
because it's a comment coming in from twitch so thank you for watching on twitch only standees. Got the standee.
Yeah, I don't need any.
Somebody's all about the raw duck.
I got foreskin.
I don't need anything.
I don't need oil.
I don't need nothing.
There's a sheath around my penis that's made to rub up and down it.
Masturbation accessory included oh shit
I'm a mess this morning
hair's all
fucked up
CEO
shirt
what so we've only learned we only we only learned one thing A CEO standing shirt.
So we've only learned one thing today,
that some racial epithets need asterisks.
One does, and the rest are good to go.
You're good to write.
You can write all of them.
It's a fair game.
Checks out.
Yeah, I haven't seen one.
Unless someone wants to chime in now, the show's's almost over you better chime in sooner than later it's better be
magdalene calling again no james what's up dude thanks for calling
all right it's your full favorite yes what's up buddy how are you
you know this could be bad for your reputation being on the show.
I'm assuming you know who the top three are.
Top three who?
Brits.
Top three Brits in what regard?
Oh, don't worry about it.
So you've got Sam Briggs, Neely, and Yon.
Yes.
And then me, Mr. Chapman from the Isle of Man.
Oh, my God, dude.
Can you please just pretend? Can you call in every day and just pretend like you're James Neely?
Please.
Please.
I would fucking – I'll give you a standee when I see you.
Oh, God, that would be such a good bit for the show if you called in and just fought with me a little bit every day.
I could do.
But one of those three has a fantastic
story about getting caught
wanking by their dad.
Okay, hold on. James,
Sporty Beth, who's the other one?
No, Sam Briggs.
Sporty Beth is the seventh one with us.
And
Jan Clark.
Jan was masturbating and his dad caught him?
Honestly,
he needs to come on and tell you himself.
It is a marvelous story.
You won't regret it.
Hey, is this really your real voice,
Jake?
Yeah.
Yeah, this is my voice.
What's wrong with it?
It's fucking glorious, boy. Why? What's wrong with it?
It's fucking glorious, dude.
It's fucking... It's...
Like, I would love it if, like, I had a door,
and every time I walked through the door,
it said, have a nice day, and it was in your voice.
Man.
Yeah, we can erase that.
You sound so fucking proper.
I cannot believe how...
You sound spotless.
Like...
I can change it, but that's okay.
Two things, Devon.
Well, firstly, have you seen that coin that was on the news?
C-O-I-N?
Coin?
Like something I'd put in a vending machine?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a coin with your face on it.
No shit. And it's a coin with your face on it. No shit.
And it's 1,000 years old.
I sent it in the Instagram message to the Savon podcast account.
What can Caleb Google?
What can Caleb Google so he can pull it up?
Just had it.
Did you just Savon coin?
Yeah, gold coin, 1,000 years old.
Something like that.
I've sent it in a message anyway. Is that? is that secondly just a quick one have you seen it i'm turning up your voice someone said you're
not loud enough so i just turned up your voice let's see if that works thank you for the advice
thank you yeah it was probably odd it's probably odd holy shit that guy's all nose that guy's all nose. That guy's all nose. It's you. It's you. The hair, the nose, everything.
It's you.
Anyway, we've got a bench press thing going on at the moment.
And there's about 25 of us doing it.
Tell me about it.
Well, we're doing a three-week cycle.
And we're all bench pressing the same day same rep and it's just
a really good bonding experience and i thought you know if you've got any spare time you could
potentially join us for a bit of bench i would love to do that i'm not gonna have access to a
bench press for at least another till monday five days i would say six seven days but i would love
to i love benching benching's cool I'm a huge fan of the bench.
Okay, cool.
Alright, that was it. That was all I rang in for.
I was just about to coach.
Well, thank you. God, you have a wonderful
voice. Hey, do you want me to send you a bottle of that
Terzepatide? You sound pretty anxious to
fucking get that shot in your ass.
You know what? I'd love to talk to you about
that. Okay.
I'd love to talk to you about that.
Because Hiller called me up on that the other day, didn't he? In the chat. He did what? I'd love to talk to you about that. Okay. I'd love to talk to you about that. All right. Because Hiller called me up on that the other day, didn't he?
In the chat.
He did what?
No, I like your take, but I also like my take.
Even though they don't necessarily coincide,
I think the conversations are fantastic.
Yeah.
So, TK, I had a phone call with TK about this the other day,
and I explained myself to him because I thought I had to.
It's not that I'm against it.
I'm for people using whatever they want.
Like substances, it's their body.
They can do whatever the hell they want.
I'm full autonomy there.
But what I do want people to, not necessarily to me, but I want them to admit that they've given up the harder route.
That they've stopped trying the harder route.
Or that there might be side effects from it, right?
I'm totally with you.
But I'm totally with you on that.
I guess it's just, I'm totally with you on that.
It's just at some point, if you've been literally trying from when've been like literally trying for 20 from when you're 20 to your 40 and
you just haven't been able to do it,
like I'd rather see someone try that than,
um,
uh,
get the fucking surgery,
right.
Going and chop out 50% of your fucking colon or whatever they do.
But I would,
and the thing that the trigger word that sent it,
like sent a few people in was the, uh the anti-CrossFit term I said.
And the reason I said that was because as CrossFitters, as coaches,
we have to believe that we have the solution for that.
Oh, I like that.
I like that.
And we feel and we truly believe that we have the solution for that.
Now, if what you're saying is that people don't do that,
just jab up and then it will give you a leg up towards going towards that,
that's fine.
But what you've told me there is that you have given up trying that original
recipe that we know does work.
We live and breathe it every day
um i don't know you haven't given up your you i would maybe say i could go with maybe you're
cheating so like look at like and i hear i think what you're saying is you you as someone who does
steroids is welcome to train in your gym and someone who does terzepatide is welcome to train
in your gym absolutely yeah 100 yeah 100 they're more than welcome to train in your gym. Absolutely. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah.
A hundred percent.
They're more than welcome to do it,
but don't try and tell me that you've tried all other options.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I like your extremism.
Cause it's, it's matter of fact.
Yeah.
You haven't.
Right.
Right.
Like,
have you tried just,
yeah.
Right.
Because,
uh,
have you tried hiring a guy that walks around with you and anytime you eat
something inappropriate, he hits you with a stick as hard as he can he slaps it out of your hand like like
and you don't i think that would work so i agree with you yeah yeah someone who just pays someone
a thousand dollars or a hundred dollars a day to follow you around with a stick and anytime you
break crossfit lifestyle protocol he fucking whacks you done Done. Done. Easy. No tricep-a-tide needed.
She might want to re-up your...
Have a lovely day.
What?
Have a lovely day.
Oh, okay.
Thank you.
Okay, thank you.
Okay.
Goodbye.
Okay, bye.
Goodbye.
How does a dude with...
How does a dude that big
with a glorious body like that
sound like that?
Thank you.
It doesn't add up.
A young Clark, it's true, my dad caught me giving myself a standee.
I don't think it's a standee if you give it to yourself.
That kind of was blasphemous.
I'm 57 years old and my CA hormones just arrived.
I just need a little help.
Nice.
Just rip the top off and just drink it.
Oh, fuck.
Not recommended.
Hey, just eating meat is easier than I thought it would be. It's easier than i thought it would be it's easier than i thought it would be
cuts out so many decisions doesn't it yeah it's it's it's um i just can't believe i i'm i'm
surprised i forgot it was it was harder last time i did it the first time i did it it was harder
i was only eating ground beef maybe it's easier now because my wife's doing it.
And so she's just, there's always something.
Like I woke up this morning, there's just meat everywhere.
I'm fasting today though.
Just caught black coffee today.
I just got a funny text.
No, you don't need to call in. The person who just texted me, you don't need to call in
the person who just texted me
you don't need to call in
we're good
I mean you're always welcome to
but
what is this
Debbie Christian Kettler what is this Debbie
Christian Kettler
you really are telling me that
you guys accept that
avatar picture that profile picture
you think that
that's just his what the fuck is going
on I cannot accept that
what is going on in his picture what why is
his back white like that maybe like tan lines from a tank top for sure that white yeah maybe
he lives in like uh norway when we get a new picture i bet you that window closed he's not
that shredded anymore he had like the flu or something so he's only super lean that's his shoulder in the foreground of the picture
oh canada yep there you go yeah uh sebi did you see hunter is starting a podcast conglomerate like
you what's a conglomerate dude it's not just that he's white uh dude it's the center of his back
looks like someone sprinkled baby powder on it it's so
it's it always throws me off i just see more that way too because of the uh lighting in the
bathroom and on the phone like when you see that picture do you think that guy's straight or gay
straight no fuck that really that guy's straight or gay? Straight. No, fuck that. Really?
That guy's gay as shit.
You see a straight guy, Shattuck and man?
No.
Oh.
No.
There's something very sexual about it to me.
What's your email, Sebi?
I'll send some.
I knew it.
I think I know who that guy is.
I don't know him, but I think
I'm...
I think we've talked about him before.
Sebi looks
like an out-of-work slam
poetry performer.
First of all, I appreciate that.
Because everyone knows that slam poetry is dominated by the black man oh look you look at uh heidi and um and david think it's gay too
oh magnus everyone thinks it's gay yeah it's gay yeah not that it's bad. It's just something about it just is like, hey, you want a standee?
Oh, Jim.
Jim just ran 100 miles, I think.
Can we bring the news back with Hunter and Hiller?
Did we do a news show?
Wait, I think Jim just ran 100 miles.
Jim just did something crazy.
Ran 100 miler.
He's always doing something crazy.
Yeah, I think he attempted an ultra damn
why is he holding his face like that what happened he said it didn't i failed
yeah he said he rolled his ankle really well oh and he thinks he's gonna throw up
dude okay sorry uh sorry i uh um okay let me read this
uh jim uh bobroski Okay, let me read this.
Jim Bobroski.
Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.
Scott Fitzgerald.
Friends and family and Savon podcast listeners.
I had to pull the plug after 52.4 miles last night.
Rolled my ankle pretty bad.
Eight miles in.
Pushed through the next 44 miles.
Pretty excruciating pain.
I was trying to compensate for the giant cock I have.
Whatever muscles I used weren't ready for that mileage, and my left leg was destroyed.
After mile 30, I told my wife and crew chief, Steph, that no matter what, we were going to get 50.
So I'm proud of that. Can't thank my wife enough for getting me through 50 and making this attempt possible.
When her and I had a conversation a month ago, I said a hundred is the goal, but I can live with
failure knowing I didn't sacrifice time with my kids and her to make it happen. With that being
said, I'm not content with the outcome, but I can live with it. Gained a lot of experience from this, and it won't be my last. Failure happens whether you like to admit it or not. And if you're not going after goals that have high risk of failure, what's the point? Until next time.
Nice.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice.
I really like that write-up.
Yeah, he writes good. You write good.
Well, also, too, he didn't start with the typical games response
from the game topic.
It's not to make any excuses, and then they list the whole handful.
Oh, right.
He's just like, this is what happened.
I set out knowing that I might not be able to make it.
Still did 50.
I mean, 52 miles is fucking insane.
So nothing.
Absolutely not.
I mean, you rolled your anchor at eight miles and knew it.
That would have been good enough for me.
I'm like, oh, well, hell no. team we tried and then you crushed on for another 44 good job i'm out of there at eight
miles oh look at mary uh jim can i send you some toe spacers yeah there you go airy bros uh uh
sebi uh has a podcast conglomerate who needs a standee uh for airy bros to join i appreciate generous offer we don't have a
conglomerate the conglomerate we have this thing it's um i don't know if i should say it
probably not
secret society it's only secret if you keep it a secret society what's the first rule about
pie club i wish i could i can i push a button where I say something that only you guys hear?
I wish. That would be cool.
Private chat.
Yeah, it's a private chat.
Can I say this word on the air?
Look what word I just sent you.
it's not a conglomerate let's just go with it's an illuminati yeah that's probably the best that's the gentlest i won't say the word i don't think i have to go ahead to say the word i don't want to
get um uh does it include brian friend
ask ask brian Does it include Brian Friend?
Ask Brian.
Calculated question, though.
Well done.
Yeah.
Well done.
Yeah.
We sent Brian to the taxidermy.
Oh.
I think Hiller just did.
Dan got it.
I think Hiller just did. Hill? I think Hiller just did.
Hiller just sent Brian to the taxidermy?
He got something going?
Are you referring to a post?
Oh, Nelly.
Is this new?
This is old.
He just posted this an hour ago.
Hold on.
Before you play that, hold on a second.
I want to see the comments. Can you read me some of the comments before you play that, hold on a second. I want to see the comments.
Can you read me some of the comments before you play that?
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Can you make it bigger so I could... Yeah, hold on.
I have similar glasses to those one Brian has.
They're not prescription, and I haven't worn them in years,
but when I do wear them, I love them.
Did something happen?
Feels like Brian hasn't been on seven on in a while.
Hiller has been hitting him pretty hard.
Was there a falling out or something?
13 replies off that,
uh,
uh,
go to YouTube to start.
He basically went on how he's better than seven on and everyone else in the
media space towards the end of his run of appearances,
appearances on seven show.
I thought he was short,
rude,
condescending with seven and others a lot. Not sure what's going on, but he hope short, rude, condescending with Sevan and others a lot.
Not sure what's going on,
but he gets past it.
He's a really informative guy.
Which video?
Dude can't wear Sevan's underwear on his head.
The only way for him to get any attention
is to flip the script and join the HQ side.
I always kind of thought he was a bit soft.
I never really liked him much anyway.
God, this poor beat Brian.
Taking an ass pounding.
It was getting a bit weird on Sevan's show.
Sevan would continue to invite him on,
and I didn't like the way he would interact with him.
Yeah, shit got a little weird between us.
Cave Dastro, bring Sevan podcast Brian back.
I miss the old Brian.
I think a lot of people do.
Let me see the reply on that.
Uh,
quads like hero agrees with a cave dastro.
He has good shows with a lot of insightful information,
but you don't like them.
You don't have to listen to them.
Not sure what happened with Brian is cool dude.
And all these people's comments make it pretty obvious.
They're not,
they've never hung out with them.
I feel like I need master's degree to follow your content.
Damn, Hiller, that's a compliment.
Okay, let me see this.
What's Hiller guy going?
Is there more?
Oh, my God.
This is a pretty popular thread, huh?
Brian seems to be obsessed by a demon.
He most changed personality
uh I suck all the fun out of everything and wonder why people don't flock to me
oh ouch what's the last one I think okay let me let me see this thing
sometimes you have the most clarity after a workout i just don't understand why
everyone on earth doesn't listen to me i am without a doubt the most knowledgeable person
in crossfit don't even get me started on global intel i invented the piano key necktie i invented
it i invented the system to allocate spots for semi-inals. Europe and Australia are godlike, like me.
I am not many things.
I am not so many things that no one knows what I am.
I just don't understand why everyone on Earth doesn't listen to me.
I am without a doubt the most knowledgeable person in CrossFit.
Sometimes you have the most clarity.
That sounds like, is that me talking?
Why does he have my thoughts
oh my goodness oh boy i think it's perfectly okay to um uh uh that's fucking with uh so so
whose voice is that is that is that from a movie hillar clip that from a movie who is voice is that? Is that from a movie? He'll clip that from a movie? Who is that? Is that someone I know?
That's AI for sure.
That's a great AI voice.
Holy shit.
Dacoons.
Hello, CrossFit affiliates.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, poor Dagoons.
Wow.
Not poor Dagoons.
Poor fucking that AI voice.
Because now I i associate that
i can't if i hear that ai voice anywhere i guess it's commonly used anyone can grab it i always
just think it's it's crossfit talking to me oh yeah me too what you're gonna say done that so
much repetitiveness of it it's like that's all i hear when I see his face. Oh my goodness.
So that's off the back of – I wonder if that was inspired by what Pedro did, which was inspired off of Brian saying that him and Patrick Clark and the blonde-haired girl – what's her name? Mary Magdalene?
No, Bella,
Bella, Bella Martin that
they were the three most knowledgeable,
which is probably true.
They probably are the three most knowledgeable.
It's just funny.
It's like,
yeah,
just because the international CrossFit scene,
I don't know.
It was,
it's just funny.
I'm going to have to ask my senior correspondent on Games Analysis
what he thinks about all the drama, John Young.
John doesn't really do drama.
He'll short out and glitch unless it's about some sort of thruster.
Short out or glitch.
That's been trademarked.
You can't use glitch.
Oh, look at Audrey coming coming in hot look at this holy shit oh my god john barely knows uh any fucking data hey this whole piece right here audrey got up and started pacing in the room
how dare these fuckers yeah she's kind of like a free palestine chick huh she audrey just opened her
closet door that wasn't i don't agree with that audrey too hard there i was just gonna make fun
of you i wasn't gonna fucking ass pound you that was nuclear look at my heart rate elevate listen
jesus christ listen he's an aggressive agent he's a very aggressive agent
oh uh uh she did just open her closet door though and she's looking at her ceo shirt and
she's like thinking about spitting on it like she's she's she's wound up it'll be like after
greg did the tweet then i received messages of people throwing away their CrossFit Livemore sweatshirts.
Really? Did that happen?
That is fucking for real.
Yeah, it's like people would like, they like posted a picture of it.
It was like a regular CrossFit shirt, then their CrossFit Livemore one.
It's like, oh, what the hell did I do?
What did I do?
Hey, they bought it.
I'm just George Floyd or I'm just COVID-19.
I'm not both. I'm not Floyd-19.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, it's just...
We just got some mean girl shit going on.
Mean girl shit.
It is mean. It is mean girl shit.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That clip we put up of Rob Orlando is dope.
Rob's a stud.
Yeah, that's a really good one.
That is kind of the take, though.
We still need to get Fern on, but that is kind of their take, right?
There was some sentiment that's like, hey, if you can't pay the $1,500, fuck you.
Like, it's just pocket change.
There's a little bit of that sentiment.
Not a little bit.
A lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Somebody started a thread in that comment section telling people to tag everybody who's saying that it's not professional if you have less than 90 – if you have 90 members or less.
So then there's just a string of tags.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Oh shit.
God.
How about that account?
That you guys,
you guys have gotten,
uh,
you and,
um,
and will and Bruce Wayne and,
and you two have got that thing up to 22,000 followers and I'm not,
and I have no access to it.
I still exist. Yeah. So, got that thing up to 22,000 followers and I have no access to it. Someone
is like, can you post this? I'm like, uh-uh.
They're like, why? I'm like,
I haven't gone anywhere near that.
They're not even allowed to tag
my personal account in that they're afraid
I'll give that account herpes.
Wait, you thought Rob was
talking directly to me?
Who thought that?
Adam.
Oh.
Oh, let me see.
I thought Rob was talking directly to Sousa.
That's not, I don't think that's, well, go ahead, Sousa.
Was he?
Is that your sentiment?
Is that your sentiment?
Like, fuck you.
You can't pay it.
Like, fuck you, pay it.
No, that's not my sentiment. If you can't afford, if you fuck you pay it no that's that's not if you
can't afford if you have to think twice about that you must not have a successful gym that's that
feels like a psyop to me like a psychological like yeah because there might be gyms that have
been around for like like you said like 15 years that could easily afford that but it might be more
braced off like print based off principle for them like josh cutting um cutting him right that's his last name
uh honeycutt honeycutt sorry yeah josh honeycutt like how he was saying he was like you know
get rid of all the pirates right right people might just be like fuck you on principle
of the thing and not pay it and that's their prerogative i think for let me see if i can
interpret what suza suza's was hey and i you know, I think it's similar to Hillers.
His evaluation is easy. He doesn't need to be complex for a Souza. Souza just goes $1,500 more.
He knows his finances and he's like, okay, it's still worth it to me. And he's done with it. He
doesn't have to be like, what's he doesn't care. Like what more is CrossFit going to do for me?
What like, it's, it's not, he doesn't need need to do that like maybe a gym that has 90 members or that
is struggling needs to do that but he's just saying for him it was it was it was the the
comprehension and understanding he has of his finances it's as simple it doesn't have to go
many layers deep it's just like $1,500 more and I make this much money and and I know I'm benefiting
from the name I'm going with it and then move on and then make this much money and I know I'm benefiting from the name, I'm going with it,
and then move on and then pull out the machine and start cleaning the floors.
Yeah. And I would say with my particular circumstance, I have a really big runway.
So for me, I'm like, okay, it's going to be a deal. It's going to be an added expense of $125
a month. And I have 13 months to 12 months to figure it out.
Oh, okay. That too. Yeah. That's nice.
And at least majority of
like the real like entrepreneurs that are like hey we burnt the ships like i'm figuring out on
my own or not like always think they could out earn their problems and so that's who thinks that
sorry i missed that who thinks that like anybody who typically would own their own business or out
on their own like an entrepreneur for lack of better words right like i always like see a problem
in terms of dollars and like oh there's an extra 200 expense okay we'll just out earn that like i'll just
figure out a way to make more income yeah then like just complain about the problem or see it
depending on the size of the problem but for me it's just like okay how do we just earn more how
do we solve the problem and like i said after having 2200 a month more dropped on you with no time but you also have to pay retroactive pay
like 125 bucks seems like you know very minor compared to that issue that i had to deal with
the other year it's kind of like um my kids are training at aoj this week american art of jiu-jitsu
and it's 600 for them to train there for the week. And that's fucking expensive. That's a lot of fucking money.
And I don't think for a second these guys charge too much for their services.
Yeah, for a week.
I don't think for a second these guys charge too much for their services.
I think, oh shit, who can I get on my show that you fucking knuckleheads will drop a lot of cash on so I can pay for this?
I'll earn your problem.
Can Rich come on today
so you guys will start paying for that fucking class? But I really don't think, I don't even
think for a second it's too expensive. I don't even go there because I'm just looking at what
I want. I would never say that CrossFit gym, when people say CrossFit gyms are too expensive,
I never go there. I never go there. I would just think, okay, what can I do? Can I stop drinking
coffee, get rid of my SiriusXM membership and get a second job to pay for it? Because I just know
what I want. I'm not interested in like, I just know what I want. That's the other big portion
of the equation. Like right now, I could tell you last month and within a second, I can pull up and
you could say, how much do you spend on groceries that you buy at a grocery store? How much do you spend on restaurants? How much did
you spend on gas? How much miss? And I could tell you down to the dollar at any point in time. And
it's funny because a lot of times when I talk to people, like we'll be having conversations and I'm
like, yeah, did you guys, have you guys noticed the increase in your, you know, grocery bill from,
from year over year, what it was last year, this time or whatever. And I would say majority of the people would say, Oh damn, I don't know how much I spend.
And you're one of the best at that. You're one of the best people at that, that I know.
It dude, it's the only way that I, I could survive. And for me, in order to like clear
out like the anxiety that becomes like, how am I going to hunt for my food each month?
I just had to like save. So that way I could build in a runway and you could only build in a runway of living without
an income if you first know how much you spend. So if you don't know how much you spend, you don't
really know how much you need to save in order to have multiple months worth of runway left if your
income stops coming in. And so I could tell you exactly how much based off like my savings, how much runway I have if I stop earning dollars right now today.
And so once I built up a certain amount of time through that, for me, the big thing was it was one year.
That was the goal.
And then beyond that.
And now I could say, OK, if all money stopped coming in right now in terms of personal finances, I'd be fine for X amount of time.
Do you have that much understanding over
your finances caleb yeah so basically what happened we kind of did this when we when i
left active duty because neither of us uh picked up a job right away so what we did for the wait
wait so she she's new to being a firewoman no No, no. She's been doing it for three years. But I just left active duty two months ago, three months ago.
But for the years leading up to that point, we were saving.
We had put everything extra expenditure away in savings so that when I got out, like I knew we would, we would be able to kind of chill for a bit.
We know we have enough money we have
enough money to renovate this fucking house yeah you don't have to go get a job at starbucks right
exactly i mean i can if i need to but we have plenty of money so that we can renovate this
house and that we can maintain some level of uh stability until we're until both of us find a job
and it's not hard dude if you became a barista at starbucks dude and you
came on and told stories from starbucks dude that's there's one literally right down the street
from my house oh my god you look so funny back there dude you'd be so tall you'd be like fucking
leaning over the fucking espresso machine if it was anything like my you see say that again susan
if there's anything like when i went there you would it. You see way more tits than I do.
Yeah.
For sure.
Just from angles.
Angles, yeah, from angles.
I see way more dick than you do.
I wonder if there's a...
I mean, dude, it's the facts.
My wife's like, you talk about dick a lot on the show.
I'm like, motherfucker, I'm 5'5".
Oh, my goodness. God, Tim Murray just must about dick a lot on the show. I'm like, motherfucker, I'm 5'5". Oh my goodness.
God, Tim Murray just must be in a world of dicks.
Or badness, depending on how you look at it.
Hey, good point.
And Mary's also correct.
I am anti-credit card.
Not a credit card guy.
So I don't – what's going on here? I can't – oh. I tried to click it off. It came back. Oh, oh. I'm not a credit card guy.
What's going on here?
I can't.
Oh.
I tried to click it off.
It came back.
Oh, I did that three times.
Jits money for the boys.
Thank you, Deja.
Deja and Thondu.
See, I'm completely the opposite in my finances.
I'm just like, I just wait for the day.
I brace for the day.
My wife's like, hey, we don't have any more money.
We have to sell one of our houses.
And then you're just like, I'm just hoping that day doesn't come.
You'd be like, I'm going to out earn that.
Hold on.
Let me go find.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just like, fuck.
Rich.
Yeah, exactly.
But I don't, but I'm not crazy with my, but I'm, I don't think I'm crazy with my spend.
I mean, listen, look at them.
Wearing all free clothes and shit.
Will Brandstetter credit cards are dope.
I haven't had to pay anything in a year.
Hey, do you see the average credit card balance of Americans?
No, what is it?
What do you think it is?
Like if you had to guess.
Like just the average of everybody in the U.S., what's their average card 6200 payment caleb you gotta guess 48 no i'm gonna change my 4800 4800 okay 48 oh no i'm having a vision okay 4400 i had a vision
okay i'm gonna say 8200 oh okay okay oh. The last time I looked at it, it was like 6,500.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I was talking to a friend of mine,
and he's not in the military or anything,
but he was asking me about how to get his credit card debt down.
And I was like, well, how much do you have?
And he was like, yeah, I've just been using it.
I'm like, fuck.
Yeah, that's this great thing. People be like, i use my credit card for like points and everything else and that's fine i do that in
certain situations too but i just feel like it's just so easy to look at your bill at that point
and see like five or six thousand dollars that you maybe ramped up over the last two months that
you didn't realize because you weren't like cognizant of it and then you go to pay that down and you're like oh oh yeah oh yeah my checking so
then you pay half of it or a third of it now all of a sudden you're carrying a balance and then
you're probably paying between 18 and 23 percent on that balance yeah and now all of a sudden you're
never able to get that out from underneath you and it just grows and grows and grows and then
at some point you turn on the fuck it's it's the psychology right Like you go to buy something with cash and you have a hundred and you hand
them something and they hand you much smaller bills back and you go,
Oh,
like you feel,
yeah,
you don't like that.
Yeah.
But with a credit card or even,
I mean a debit card,
you still feel the pain if you check it off and up,
but with the credit card,
you like hand them the credit card.
They give you the credit card back in the thing and you don't feel the
pain.
Yeah.
So it's so much easier to trick yourself into like overspending shit by using a credit card.
I only put $300 on every week for the past six months.
I'm amazed that people will bitch about not having money but have no problem eating out twice a week at $100 a pop.
Yeah.
And here's another thing.
If you're complaining about money and you consume like any like alcohol or cigarettes or weed, you're fucking yeah that's an easy cut out right
you're fucking ding dong yeah just stop drinking alcohol like i took my kids out to dinner the
other day and my wife and it was 57 and it's 57 in santa cruz out and it's 57 because i was eating
carnivore so i wasn't eating and no one ordered drinks and we sat in a fucking really nice
restaurant it was only 57 bucks i couldn't even fucking believe it.
Order iced tea every time.
Order what?
Order iced tea or water. Like unsweet iced tea
or water. Iced tea. What are you from?
I'm from California, dude. Iced tea.
No one drinks iced tea.
I have a line item
in my budget for you. Oh, thank you.
That's nice.
That dress is crazy.
Love it. It's nice. Oh. That dress is crazy. I love it.
Nice photo.
It's nice.
It's nice.
Oh, what's wrong with my mouse?
Dude, the other thing, too, is people will go out to eat like that, like you were saying,
and they'll drop $150, $200 on a night of dinner and a couple of drinks, a handful of drinks.
Yeah.
The same people will bitch about the less of a price, $185 to go to a gym membership for the whole month yeah and one of them you literally
just gives you a headache and you shit it out and the other one gives you long-term health like
it's crazy uh matt matt and i pay 16 a gallon for raw milk so that's why we are poor yeah
there at least you know mr verne sabbath essentials.com that's the we are poor. Yeah. At least you know what it's worth. On MrBurnsSabbathEssentials.com.
That's the only stuff that'll not make my skin dry and crack.
As well.
Her stuff.
Oh, no shit?
Yeah, I use her, the body oil, and then the, I think it's called Still Waters or something like that.
Oh, yeah, my wife uses the Still Waters stuff.
I see you're spraying that shit on her face.
It's so good. That's cream, but it's okay the still waters is yeah it's like a like a lotion type thing oh no that's not what she sprays on her face have you ever had a standee have you ever
had a standee with any of the sabbath sabbath essential products not yet oh goodness i wonder
if the stand how long the stand is going to stand around for
in the show that's so good
I love saying the word standy
it's working
oh my god
it makes you happy
hey so someone has sent a
cease and desist
to fucking
SMTP training
program. Self-made training
program. Some lawyers
sent a letter to
poor Taylor
telling him he can't use the name.
Oh my
God.
Oh my God.
I should have Taylor on and we should
look at this guy's Instagram account and go see who it is
And go over there
Oh my goodness
Uh
Oh they have Sabbath Essentials has a
Standee cream it's called the Standee
Sabbath Essentials
Hand cream for Standees only
Her and her husband are arguing in the chat
about whether or not he's gonna get a standee yeah he's like i'll call later report back
are they really yes oh my god listen listen if you ignore if you ignore it if you don't uh if you
don't disarm it it only gets worse don worse. Don't ignore it.
She called him Matthew.
That's how you know it's serious.
What is that called when you test a product out?
It's like quality assurance.
Quality assurance.
Quality control.
Oh yeah, QC. You got to QC the lotion, Matt.
Every five bottles, you got to test one out.
Make sure it's good to go.
Quality control. Thank you.
Hey,
Mary wears every pair of toe spacers
for five minutes before they get mailed out.
Sales just increased
because of that.
Sales just increased.
She'll send you a picture with them on too if you send extra money.
My live calling notes are so fucking long, and I can't see any of them either because I don't have an Instagram account that really works so good.
How about this?
Hey, can you pull up this one?
It says Catholic vaccine.
I'm so
sorry for all the Catholics out there.
I am so sorry. It's down at the bottom.
It doesn't even have a number.
That's like when I'm making notes when I'm drunk or something
when I don't do numbers.
Look at this.
This is the Catholic church
pushing the vaccine.
Hey, look at this.
Pause it there.
Go back to that guy.
Doesn't that guy look like he was standing behind like a motorcycle when it started up in the mud?
You know what I mean?
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
You know that like spray? Yeah. That's actually cancer. Oh, sorry. My bad. Wow. You know what I mean? You know that like spray?
Yeah.
That's actually cancer, but.
Oh, sorry.
My bad.
Fuck.
Just kidding.
I don't know.
Oh, Beaner and cancer humor.
What a show.
Damn.
Oh, wait.
Look at this.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, sorry.
Anyway, I apologize.
That's it.
That bit's done.
Sorry for the cancer.
Sorry for the cancer joke and fuck the Catholic Church.
And sorry for all you guys that are Catholic.
Jesus.
No one's communicating with God and God's telling you to fucking take the injection.
Nobody.
Robbie Myers, SMTP, simple mail transfer protocol.
But all he has to do is put periods after the letters SMTP and it should fix it.
Cease and desist or a sham easy work around. Well, this
guy has it trademarked. Oh, interesting.
Well, if you
fuck with, if you try to call your gym a CrossFit
gym, they'll come after you. Can you guys hear all the
ruckus? I'm just curious. A little bit.
My family is going off right now.
Yeah, a little bit. It's not like. Not in a bad way. They're just
partying. Kids getting dressed.
Yeah. People.
Kids wearing CEO shirts. Hey hey you know what's interesting
about the catholic church uh yeah uh with that vaccine thing yeah there's no way like god's
telling you to do that well it depends on who you worship and call god oh oh
oh cnn wow that's the thing dude you just nailed it again
they don't know that they made
pfizer their god
can you see my camera shaking now i'm sharing the table
with three kids yeah i'm sharing the table now
with three kids doing fucking their morning
school you guys know
how lucky you are to see this is like a real life example of a man hustling making money you guys
know how lucky you are people in the audience to give their fucking firstborn child to hang out
with me yeah thank you obby just said you're the greatest dad on earth thank you i love you
damn right i hate it when they acquiesce.
God, I don't deserve that.
Vindicate, yeah, you could go with Suck My Tiny Penis.
SMTP.
You're not laughing at my jokes, please.
Hey, didn't you ask if I've ever done it in front of a live studio audience?
Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.
You got one.
I got real laughter.
I'm going to hell.
Someone's going to report me to child protective services for that one.
Okay.
Mrs. Burns, I also don't think God is telling me not to get vaxxed, but I sure as shit use that for an exemption at work.
Great point.
Great fucking point.
Yeah, thank you.
Great point.
I took my kids to AOJ.
I know some of you recognize what that is, Art of Jiu-Jitsu.
And we'd gone there before.
and we'd gone there before, and you'd have to assume, and you'd assume, right, that it is the best,
considered one of the best jiu-jitsu academies in the world, if not the best.
There's tons of, it's, the instructors, it's like every instructor there has 100,000 followers on Instagram and got some sort of world title and some belt.
There's a lot of people there, hundreds and hundreds of people there,
there's a lot of people there, hundreds and hundreds of people there.
And as you might imagine, my kids are very nervous to go there, but they,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of my sons is telling me that there was a class of 95 people on that.
I think in my kids' class, though, there's three or four classes going on simultaneously. I'd say there's probably 100 people on.
But my kids went there.
Do you guys have masks?
Masks?
Yeah.
Just to keep everybody safe?
No.
This is Newport.
I know it's California.
This is MAGA country.
Okay.
This is fucking Trump country, dude. This is MAGA country. Okay. This is fucking Trump country,
dude.
This is Newport.
Fucking.
This is,
you know,
no gum on the sidewalks.
Uh, fentanyl has not arrived yet.
Um,
yeah,
all the Mexicans are rich.
Uh,
Darmians are on carpet shops.
I mean,
it's,
it's the real deal.
Um,
anyway, so, but my kids my kids uh
we've been going there two days and they're undefeated they're probably like they've each
had probably 20 starring sparring matches and all of them are just it's crazy okay because we put in
the time listen there was there was a mom who sat down next to me or i sat down next to her
yesterday and her daughter's in the class like
that's the competition class and my and like the drop-ins don't go into that class well i hope
eventually they move obby into there and she said that she brings her daughter there every single
day after school five days a week to train for three hours wow and her daughter has not lost a match in 20
fucking tournaments and her daughter is going to austin she's a 10 year old girl to fight in adcc
next week yeah 10 year old girl in adcc for you guys don't know there's different kinds of fighting
in jiu-jitsu but this adcc level is a level where the kids are allowed to do shit to each other
that they're not allowed to do anywhere else like for instance the guillotine you're allowed to choke the shit out of people
in these really intense chokes for those of you who don't follow mma your kid will not be great
unless you have that uh unless they're doing that like like i know why my kids can go in there and hang
because they do martial arts two to three hours a day,
six days a week.
So they show up to the greatest jiu-jitsu academy in the world
and they just fucking put the hammer down.
You think that little girl is going to be burnt out?
Who cares?
I don't even care.
No, I mean, I don't know, but I don't care.
You know what I mean?
Do you want to be great?
Then part of the process is to be burnt out.
Yeah.
But you want to ejaculate?
Well, you shouldn't.
Do you want to ejaculate?
Well, you might get chafing.
So you shouldn't you shouldn't partake in rubbing anything on the penis.
No, I'm going to just take the risk of chafing and get get a load out.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm not.
No, I mean, I like the big schedule and having lots of activities
but you have like what your boys do like this is very diverse so there's not right right oh okay
specifically you're saying just like hey yeah yeah yeah the kids under a tremendous amount of
pressure like my kids don't have to do that right she goes she's in school from she's in school from
eight to three and then three to six she's training yeah that's the only thing that i worry
about right like if you told me they're on for like three hours but they're doing like a swimming they're
doing a tennis they come back and they're private you like yeah just so much changing that they
don't feel like you know they're just beating their head against the wall at that at some point
and i also just worry too like if there's a lack of like range and what the kids are learning you're
really actually kind of doling them down for the hope of one specialty which as crossfitters that already starts to make me like twitch i'm like no
you're specializing why would you do that with the kids so young are you robbing more potential by
not giving a more diverse set of stuff out there for them to explore and dabble with and try uh
quite possibly okay then let me refine what i'm saying so because you can't tell me
at 10 years old that child chose to be the world jiu-jitsu champion let me refine let me refine
refine what i'm saying so we're here and some people might think i'm on vacation my kids thought
maybe we were on vacation but i'm awake i'm still doing my podcast my kids are doing their school
work earlier than normal earlier than normal yeah i'm even working harder it's not vacation i've actually now my kids are doing
their schoolwork then they're going to go out to the beach and we're going to they're going to
surf for four hours then they'll have lunch and then they'll go do jujitsu for two hours at a
place that's even more uncomfortable than their academy where they're fucking crazy comfortable
and so one of my kids said to me like why are we doing this i thought we're on vacation
no no we don't do it.
Like our whole life – there's two ways you can think about it.
Either our whole life is a vacation or we don't take vacation.
I don't care how you think about it.
But like you're not going to get – I guess my – you're right.
My kids have – it's a great – it's a new environment, new stimulus.
They're excited.
It's a new house.
Yeah, they're like pumped, right?
They're free.
And I bet when you guys come back from jiu-jjitsu you're probably going to get them out on the beach
they'll probably yeah sort of springboarding we're going to walk to a a store that they've
never been to before and buy like all the berries they can eat we're going to be fun shit you're
right yeah but you're not going to get great um take you i i know i know my kids are great because
i'm when i'm here i'm taking advantage of the
fact that there's a jiu-jitsu academy here where they can like one of my sons has gone to 10
fucking classes at this academy and he had never sparred and he cried every time he was on the mat
and yesterday a very famous black belt came up to him and said listen if you don't spar today
we're going to move you over to the baby class
so my son comes up to me and he's like fuck i'm like what's up he goes they said if i don't spar
they can move me over the baby class and i said i'm cool with that don't spar and go over the
baby class i just want you to just be cool he goes i don't want to go over there they're just
white belts over there i'm like well you got a decision to make i love you to death but
spartan's first two matches crying one spartan's next two matches dominated not crying came off
the mat like fuck i'm a new man like joseph came off yesterday just like a bad dude yeah and
there's actually somebody and uh and and like this is the greatest vacation of my life then
i guess i'm just saying if you don't if you don't
i don't want to do that either i don't want to fucking interrupt my day at the beach
i can't like i just want to go out there and just get fucked up and throw frisbee but i have to
interrupt my day at the beach take the kids at three o'clock to jiu-jitsu because i just want
them to be great and they will be yeah and i argue that you're what you're doing with them is so much more
um is going to set them up for so much more success and just multiple different facets of
life like all that range will just be an arsenal of stuff that they'll have to utilize to be
successful in life regardless of the path they choose when it's narrowed down a lot i just get
a little worried also too there's a lot of hidden gems in what you just said like right away the
teacher became the bad guy and said hey look you could either go here or you could go
over to the baby side yeah i think i profusely thank the teachers after class by the way i'm
like oh my god yeah you got to do the most awesome thing which is you're like hey i'm cool with that
go ahead and go over there yeah i mean i was cool with it wait a minute i don't want to do that and
you're like yeah well either way but you have to make the decision.
So you implied a personal responsibility, but you also gave them the permission to make the decision on their own.
It didn't come forcefully.
And you started by saying, I'm cool with that.
We're here.
You know what?
That's interesting you say that because I always tell people that when people are like, I don't force my kids to do shit.
I'm like, I force them to do everything.
But I guess that's the thing about boundaries. set the boundaries that's what i forced and inside of there they have they have
control they're free he made the decision to go he made the decision but he didn't make the decision
whether he had to go or not or whether they all got to get on the mat right exactly you can just
sit there i don't care that's like life though hey you could choose the harder route and get
more benefit for it or you're going to
go over here and go to the easier route. And then he
made the decision to be like, oh, fuck that.
I'm not going to go that far. I just didn't really feel like sparring
today. Okay, well, I'll get over that hump.
Yeah. But it was his decision.
Yeah.
This is going to be someone from the academy
being like, your boys didn't go undefeated yesterday.
What are you talking about?
Hello, caller.
Hi.
Hey.
Good morning, Devon.
Your son did not beat my son's ass.
It was close, but my son won.
Good morning.
Hi.
Don't ruin the bit.
Go with it.
Go with it.
How's the ribeye guy going?
Oh, shit.
This is BDP.
Yeah.
Fun spot.
You guys know what BDP stands for?
No.
Big Dick Pimp.
Listen, buddy, dude.
I think my...
Look at...
Can you see...
Look at...
I'm a ribeye.
I'm not even working out these days, and I'm fucking getting...
I know. Your skin's looking better, too. The wrinkles are... I'm a ribeye and I'm not even working out these days and I'm fucking getting.
I know your skin's looking better too.
The wrinkles are.
The wrinkles are.
Subsiding.
Looking better on your forehead.
Not subsiding, just better wrinkles.
Yeah, better wrinkles.
No, no, no, no.
They're subsiding.
Yeah, buddy.
Yeah, buddy.
Look at some old podcasts.
Look at some old podcasts. thank you but i appreciate it
callus hey how long do you think it's been do you think i'm three weeks in two weeks in
i think it's two weeks in yeah hey there's no there's no stopping me too i did i didn't i
haven't told anyone this but i did have a couple che. One night, I ate a bag of cashews before I went to bed.
A little bag.
Just probably 1,800 calories worth.
No.
Why?
No, I did.
I'm serious.
I did.
And then another night, I had some goji berries.
Like probably 7,500 calories worth of goji berries.
12 pounds of goji.
I just did.
I just did. Stop. Yeah, I know. goji. I just did. You just did.
Stop.
Yeah, I know.
I will.
I'll stop.
But that's not bad.
Two out of 14 nights,
I'm pretty good.
Yeah, it's bad.
Oh, it's bad?
Okay.
No, he's no leeway.
Okay, fine.
It's bad.
I agree.
Hey, Bieber.
Bieber,
how can you eat
a third of a ribeye
and you're 200 pounds?
Eat a whole fucking 16-ounce ribeye and you're 200 pounds. Eat a whole fucking
16 ounce ribeye and be a man.
Hey, dude, I've been having like two a day.
Whoa.
Caleb's over there
just thinking. Hey, wait a second.
Before you go 200 on Caleb, he's getting damage
from his jacket.
We've been torturing Caleb. Be gentle. He's a very sensitive
man.
You know why he's sensitive? Because he's eaten too many carbs.
Because he wears that fucking jacket.
That jacket's cutting his T count.
I eat a third of a ribeye
one time a day and now all of a sudden it's a big deal.
Yeah, why are you only eating a third?
I have a question. I'm on that too. What the fuck's wrong with Caleb?
Nobody. I didn't say I ate
just a third. Yes, yes.
Yes, SpongeBob. What do you want?
Caleb,
you can do better than that.
You won't have to eat the fruit.
Okay.
Give it a try.
Look at Deja. Caleb caught a stray.
He just
did his own business.
Mr. Steakman calls up and the caller just fucking Mr.
Steakman calls up and is just abusing
nothing but contribution from
Caleb and then just gets smacked around
hey what do you
what have you been talking about
did he post that he only ate a third of a
ribeye god I hope he did good it's back to
the podcast brand oh my god
you went for a
restroom break and he was talking to Hiller,
and he got talking about MyFitnessPal.
What wild animal out there has a macro counter?
Like, seriously?
Like, does a cheetah?
Like, oh, I better go eat some berries because I got to get into my macro thing.
Come on.
Oh, shit.
Oh, God.
Hey, I agree with you.
I agree with you. Caleb's fucking up. What can I say?
Just eat.
Me and you are, I'm weeks ahead of Caleb.
Weeks ahead of him.
Caleb gave one
meal and just gets attacked.
I'm going to shit my pants. I've been holding in a deuce that i'm not
sure if it's gonna shard hey dude you know i've been doing it long enough that my poops are solid
now just so you know like i'm gonna go ahead and fart then go ahead and fart no i ain't that
i ain't brian friend i ain't cocky but my shit's solid you're looking better thank you i feel great
i mean i've been hanging out at the beach and
i'm not sleeping enough because i'm getting up an hour early
good but uh you don't need that sleep you need four to six hours that's all you need
and but i've had a standee uh recent enough that it's still in my memory you know what i mean
and that keeps me young too like i've had one recently
standee god i love us i really am a huge fan of the standee You know what I mean? And that keeps me young too. Like I've had one recently. Standy.
God, I love it.
I really am a huge fan of the standy.
You should get your kids on it too.
Entice them.
My kids, I haven't eaten a lot of fucking meat.
A lot.
Now we got to get Caleb on it.
Hey dude, Josh Bridges feeds his kid a steak.
Sends his kids to school with a steak every single day in their lunch, a full steak.
Yeah, and they eat it, and they're just a little kid, Caleb.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Oh, shit.
I'm getting old, man.
I can't stomach a whole steak anymore.
Yeah, you can't.
For some reason, when Bridges sends his kid to school with a steak, I imagine it just in a Ziploc bag.
Me too. I bet it is. a Ziploc bag. Me too.
I bet it is.
He's like, here you go, boys.
He writes their name on it.
Yeah.
Hey, dude, you know what else is cool too?
My wife just makes them on the pan,
and then me and her have been eating together.
Me and her just gather around the pan.
Yeah. I've never seen my wife like that that usually she's all dainty and shit but me and her
would just gather around the pan with a knife and a fork and get at it like the old days like we're
kids it's like it's like a couple cheetahs yeah exactly yeah it's totally like that yeah and my
wife's pretty proper and i just like this side of it i'll even see her pick up the meat with her hands. Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
She'll like you better too.
Yeah.
And maybe that's why,
maybe,
wow.
I wonder if that's why,
I don't know if I should say this part out loud.
I like your philosophy.
No days off.
You don't think I should?
Oh yeah.
No days off.
I want,
I'm going to see if I can get a standee while I'm eating at the,
at the,
at the trough.
At Doy's Dock. No, while I'm eating at the trough. At Dory's Dough.
No, just at the stove over here if I can eat a steak and get a tallow, a raw tallow standee.
Still water standee.
Come on, baby.
You eat that shit with your hands the way my wife cooks it, and you're greasy for a fucking month.
Sometimes I wash my hands four times while I'm eating steak like i think i'm done i go wash my
hands and then i come back and i you know that have you do you do that sometimes yeah yeah oh
yeah the meat man what should we call you spongebob god caleb that was good spongebob yeah
you're doing better you're doing better you're looking better Thank you Alright well thanks for calling in and checking on me
Well
Keep it up
Oh hey listen
Eric Weiss has a good question
Listen to this SpongeBob
Eric Weiss says
Teflon stainless steel or cast iron pan
So we got to this house
And it only had Teflon
And I fucking hate Teflon
So I immediately went on Amazon
And ordered stainless steel
Man I was just going to leave it here
Since I come here so often $50 pan Get a cast iron Oh and ordered stainless steel. Man, I was just going to leave it here since I come here so often.
$50 pan.
Get a cast iron.
Oh, really?
Over stainless steel?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
And then, you know, you got to treat, like they talk to you about treating it and stuff.
So just basically put butter on it at a real high heat and take it off and then just wipe it off.
And then you kind of put that, you know, the, the covering on it or, you know, so it doesn't stick.
So just do cast iron.
Okay. And, and my wife just keeps cooking it raw and raw.
I have a feeling one day I'm just going to, she's just going to throw it on the pan for, for.
Yeah. Yeah. Just do that. I'm just going to, she's just going to throw it on the pan for, uh, for, uh, um, yeah,
a minute.
Yeah.
Just do that.
What's that called?
Um, when you do something just as a formality, like she's just getting raw and raw.
Eventually she was, she pretty much just opened the package and set it on the pan.
Never even turned the fire on and we'll eat it.
I mean, it is crazy how raw we've been eating it.
Good.
Good.
You doing any fillets?
Do we do fillets?
Yeah.
She said anything I want.
But no, have we done some fillets?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
She thought I was asking for a handy.
She was on autopilot.
Anything you want.
A standee.
I mean a standee.
Standee.
Yeah, just get the ribeye, fillets, you know, whatever.
It will work.
You'll feel better.
All right.
Well,
thanks for calling.
How are you doing?
Sorry enough about me.
How are you doing?
Hey,
so, um,
on the fourth,
uh,
my mom,
you know,
passed away from cancer from getting the vaccine.
The 4th of December?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, damn.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
Did you cry a lot?
Did you cry a lot?
No, no, not at all.
No.
That doesn't seem healthy.
That doesn't seem healthy.
Hey, I said my goodbyes.
Okay.
So it was good.
She was suffering. yeah just make sure your dad gets back to town did you organize the funeral yeah but you know the funeral home they
they make it so turnkey you just hand them your credit card and it's done
yeah okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Make it, they make it wonderful.
You know,
they all that.
So it's not that hard.
Just pick your plot.
Pick your space.
I'm not doing that.
I'm cremating.
I'm cremating my mom and dad.
Anything that eyes around me,
I'm burning and pouring out into the ocean.
Where are your ashes?
And just,
I don't know. The Pacific. Yeah. The the ocean. Where are your ashes going? Just, I don't know.
The Pacific?
Yeah, the Pacific Ocean.
Sure. Okay. That works.
That works.
But, yeah.
Oh my God. Someone said the meat has dulled your senses.
Like maybe you didn't cry
because you're a fucking meat eater.
Good.
Oh shit. And Will, our religious
fucking guy, is saying don't do it.
What? Don't burn the body?
Your body and soul have a place
in heaven.
Oh, my God. Whatever.
What the fuck? Really?
Don't do it.
Hey, can you guys hold on?
How are you on time, Sousa?
I have a short amount of time left, about
five more minutes.
Caller, I have to go. Sorry.
Will you call back and we'll talk about burning
bodies? Yeah.
Have a good day, everybody.
SpongeBob,
thank you. Fucking Caleb. Jesus Christ.
Sorry, Caleb. You don't get
paid enough to deal with that. Yeah, damn.
It's like god after you
talking about your diet every i just love the fact that it was like such a small piece of such
a small story but then it just became like this narrative like he doesn't eat the sticks you guys
stop saying don't call back i love when that guy calls okay i'm gonna my pants i love when
that guy calls i need that kind of i love you guys uh see you tomorrow greg glassman will be
on tomorrow i spoke to him this morning we just switched his days love you
caleb thank you susan thank you i'm prairie dogging okay bye