The Sevan Podcast - Tyler Gallant | Kill Tony

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

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Isn't that the worst feeling, too? Yeah. I have backup, but it's like. Oh, you do? Yeah, but I'm addicted to Paper Street. Not backup beans. Just like, you want to know, I actually backup, but it's like... Oh, you do? Yeah, but I'm addicted to paper straight. Not backup beans, just like... I actually have Folgers. Oh, I see what you're saying.

You know what I mean? When I run out of coffee, it's just straight energy drinks. I just have a stash of them. I just stash them away, and then I just use them in case of emergency. Oh, I do have one, like, I don't know what it is, like a C4, but I also have a bunch of Fit Aids. I didn't even think about that. That worked too?

It's like a break glass in case of emergency kind of thing. Yeah, the only thing, yeah, I always think of it for nighttime driving. The only problem with energy drinks is I drink them too fast during the show. Coffee, I just sip. I can make it last a whole hour and a half, just little tiny sips. Energy drink, like 15 minutes in, in i'm like where's my drink i'm gonna need another one yeah exactly just for the taste hey we i was i was thinking this morning we had david lucas on right from uh and he was on kill tony and that podcast was so bad that it actually, it was good. I mean,

do you remember that thing? Someone made it. And then someone actually made like a preview of that one. Do you remember that? Like they strung together all the worst parts of that podcast. Right. And then we had Hans Kim on and I wouldn't say it was a good podcast, but it was weird.

He was weird as shit. Do you remember that? He was just in his living room, and it was filthy, and there was just shit everywhere. He had that neck brace on. Oh, yeah, that's right. And that was kind of cool, because what we learned there is he lived in a van in New York City, and he basically did two or three shows a day every day for years. And then he ended up opening for Rogan.

I don't know if he was opening for Rogan when he came on the show. And then I saw this dude on. So I basically started watching this episode of Kill Tony because I saw on the thumbnail Tucker Carlucker carlson and joe rogan were on it oh yeah right hey what's the most views any kill tony's ever gotten because that one when i clicked on it had two two million views hey have you seen now this fucking guy's like going to stadiums and doing a show he went from from like a coffee shop in Austin doing a show. To like, I think like they're doing one like, you know, like at Madison Square Garden now.

And it's kind of nuts. Yeah. Can you imagine if we took Kill Taylor to like the Madison Square Garden? No, I can't imagine that. That would be crazy. Let's see. This is by most popular. It looks like.

Oh, I saw one oh that's weird because the one i saw had two million views uh maybe i'm looking at the wrong stuff then let's see videos oh here we go yeah 1.4.4 oh wow wow Man they really have had everyone on that show Did you hear the story about how Tucker Carlson got onto that show? Joe Rogan Just from the little bit I watched Like he didn't even know he was walking out there onto the show Right

What's the story? Yeah Joe Rogan said that he Or Tucker told or Joe told Tucker like hey I'm gonna like do you want to go see my new place like my new comedy theater or whatever it's called and he's like oh yeah for sure we can do that and then they're like backstage like he's like showing him around and all that shit and then all of a sudden they announced Tucker Carlson's name like behind the curtain yeah and now we have tucker carlson he's like what the fuck are you talking about

and then joe's like oh yeah just walk out front and then the whole there's like the whole live audience everybody's standing there and like yeah tucker carlson's here he like surprised him yeah and it was so i i kind of felt bad for tucker it took him a while to loosen up right it was awkward as fuck at first. I agree. Because I watched that video with Tyler Gallant. And he was just like in shock that he was there. And like just kind of laughing and didn't really know what to do.

It was funny. Hey, so does Joe really own that theater? Or he was just joking? I think he does. It's in Austin. I think he like opened up his own comedy club in Austin and now he hosts like all of those sorts of things wild

so basically so I click on the link and I start watching the show and I see I fast forward to like where I see Tucker on the stage and then I go back and I see that he came out there and that he didn't know what the fuck was going on and then Joe was out there and then i started watching the the ups and

um it is it is pretty it is pretty remarkable how on uh tony tony hincliffe is it's it's pretty damn remarkable oh i have a link to here sorry I'll put it for you in the private chat. Um, and this one's not even from, this isn't even from, um, kill Tony's YouTube page. I figured, fuck it. We'll just play the whole clip. And if, if YouTube doesn't let us monetize it, then fuck it. Right. Sure. So for those of you don't know how this show works how the show kill

tony works is i i guess and that's the reason why i wanted to have tyler on i wanted to hear exactly all the detail oh here he comes i wanted to hear all the details and nuances like everything on how you end up on stage there so hopefully tyler will give us the rundown tyler what's up dude hey can you hear me? Yeah, perfect. How's it going? Awesome. Hey, thanks for doing this.

What state are you in? I'm in Texas. Oh, okay, cool. So it's not 7 a.m. for you. Good, awesome. No, but this is the earliest I've been up on a Sunday, so I appreciate that. I can be productive today. Hey, we had David Lucas on the show. You know the black guy from kill tony the fat guy

yeah so we had him on the show and it was i think i've done probably 2000 podcasts and it was it was the worst podcast i've ever done it was so bad that it was good oh no what was bad about it um like he took calls from his mom he from his show he was texting he muted muted himself and probably like five or six times throughout the podcast. He just talked to other people. Oh, I think maybe I think maybe he got up and left once, but it was so bizarre that it ended up being funny. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I'm not going to do that. I do. I'll apologize ahead of time. I have gnats and Texas has a lot of bugs. So if you hear me stomping and clapping throughout, that's that's why I'm trying to combat the gnats and uh texas has a lot of bugs so if you hear me stomping and clapping throughout that's that's why i'm trying to combat the gnats is that how you explain like you have some sort of autism or asperger's or so but you just claim that there's bugs in the room i wish i wish it was that way they've colonized here and you know we can't uh we can't push them out without permits

of some kind, I think. And then we had Hans Kim on, I think, I want to say twice. Very, very weird. Good show. Very weird, though. He came on with the next brace, and he was in his living room, and the whole house was a shit show. But he told us some really cool shit. Like, basically, he lived in his van in New York City and was doing two or three shows a day, and that was life for years.

And it was cool hearing his dedication to his craft. I came across the episode that you were on. I don't watch a lot of Kill Tony, but I came across the episode you were on because I saw Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson were up there, and I was like, holy shit, wow. And I clicked on it, and then I heard you're up, and I was like, oh wow and i clicked on it and then i heard you're up and i was like oh let me text this guy dying dying to know the details i'm more interested in kill tony than ever before because i have a show that's called kill taylor that i stole i stole basically the idea from kill tony that's what i was hoping we were doing here you guys are just watching a bunch of hot dudes lift weights that's what i I thought it was going to be. Yeah. Yes. Yes. That's not what we're not doing that. You know,

no, on a, no, we're not on, on Saturdays. I watch dudes in their underwear fight each other. It's called the ultimate fighting championship UFC. And then the rest of the week I watch hot dudes in a shorts lift weights.

Yeah. Oh yeah. I have some weird pastimes. All right. Um, I, I'm going to show you, I'm going to show you're up by the way. Congratulations for not fucking yeah. Oh, yeah. I have some weird pastimes. All right. I'm going to show you – I'm going to show your – by the way, congratulations for not fucking up. You did so good.

Congratulations. That's all I wanted. The reason why I don't watch this show is because it does make me very uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. Here we go. And when is this? Is this a few months ago? This is now – I think March. March. Okay. Okay. Here we go. And when is this? Is this a few months ago? This is now, I think, March.

March. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Austin, Texas. Tyler Gallant? Yes. Tyler Gallant.

Here we go. Another 60 seconds uninterrupted coming at you from another bucket hole. Anything can happen. Make some noise for Tyler Gallant, everybody. Tyler Gallant. Here comes Tyler. Oh, you could start it at 30 seconds, Caleb. Sorry.

30 seconds. Here we go. You seen that? Sometimes you'll see white people on there. They'll be lip syncing songs with the N-word in it. Like, that's not good. Is he about to ruin his life on my For You page? Is that what's happening?

They don't mouth the N-word, though. They do the shush face. Whenever the N-word comes on, they do the shush face. Whenever the n-word comes on, they do the shush face. That's confusing, right? Because don't we just have a whole generation that associates the n-word with the shush? That's not good.

You just got all these middle schoolers and high schoolers. They're just in school talking to each other. Like, do you guys ever notice the librarian's kind of a racist bitch when you go check out a book she called me the n-word like 42 times asked where the history section was she went please i'm tyler galan thank you guys hey um what do you think joe's expression is when he's watching you like is he just waiting for people to shit the bed i mean at that point they get so many people up there that

end up blowing it yeah and uh and you know 30 seconds in, that joke's a lot of setup. Yeah. So, you know, for 30 seconds, I felt like everyone in the room was just like, oh, no, you know. And then that joke I've been doing for over a year, you know, it usually gets a really, really good payoff. And so that's the one that I wanted to go with there. So I was happy, you know, to have that pause in there and the clap and the laughter so that felt good i i didn't see what

faces they were making over there because i was just trying to look out at the audience yeah he has he's like bracing for impact he has his head down eyes up you know what i mean like he's stalking you and shit yeah and and tucker's like really uncomfortable like out of his element but then he starts laughing pretty quickly when you said the light when you make the librarian quote hey um could you give me like i want to i want to i'll probably interrupt you 20 times but i want to hear all the details of like how you end up on the show do you live in austin yeah yeah Yeah. I moved here about three months ago to live with my girlfriend. And did you move there to do stand up? It was kind of it worked

out that she also moved out here to the Austin area. She's she's in her graduate program for anthropology. And so, I mean, if her and I were not together i may have ended up in in new york i wanted to go somewhere else that was not uh knoxville tennessee um i love it there that's that's where i started comedy but i was definitely ready to try something new try a new scene so okay so you chased vagina and it happened to be a good spot for comedy yeah yeah i mean i call it love but that's okay fine fine yes sorry love sem, love. Demantics. Love, yeah. And then so you go out there, and did you already know about the show? Yeah, yeah. I was very familiar. I've been watching it for the past year. I think every comedian is pretty aware of it.

And when you get to town, what's the process of getting on the show? Yeah, I mean, you want like full detail? Yeah, I'd love it. I'd love it. Okay, yeah. So what you do is you go over to a bar that is adjacent to the mothership. It's across the street, kind of catty corner, I guess is the word. And it's called Poor Choices. So you go over there, you sign up at 630.

Everyone is standing in line. It's a long process of getting everyone through this long line where you go up and you got three people signing people in. They check your IDs. You have to sign a release if you've never done it before in case you say something something horrible it's going to be on the internet that's just what it is so you kind of have to assume that risk um and then you wait there they they start pulling names uh how many people tyler at the poor choices hundreds okay and you got people inside the bar waiting you have people outside the street waiting chain smoking cigarettes um and they start pulling names so you got to be there you have to physically be there from 8 30 to like 11 but even earlier because you have to sign up at 6 30 yeah you got to sign up so you know i i

sign up at around 6 30 but then i go try to try to hit another mic before we actually have to be back there. Just in case I don't get on, that way I can still do some comedy that night. Holy shit. As soon as you get there, you really can't go anywhere. I've seen people get their name pulled and they're not there because they're signing up somewhere else, and I'm sure they're crushed by it. When you're in line, are you by yourself,

or is your girlfriend with you at 6.30? No, I wouldn't subject her to that. Okay, so you by yourself or is your girlfriend with you at 630? Oh, no. Yeah, I wouldn't subject her to that. Okay, so you go there. There's hundreds of people there. You sign in and then you take off to a different comedy club and you go there by foot? Yeah. Yeah, it's all walking distance.

6th Street is pretty close by. Okay, and then in that night, so that night you didn't up? That night, dude, I went and got pizza and i went and ate two giant pieces of pizza so i felt fucking terrible okay and then and then and that's the night i was the last bucket puller second to last bucket pull that night i had already like given up that it was going to happen that night i kind of looked a little disheveled i felt when i went up there but how um how so hundreds of people sign up but only like only like five people make it on every show yeah between five and ten it kind of depends if if

everyone is eating shit one after another they'll do this thing that's like a speed round they're like let's get somebody who can do comedy up here um because you know there are a lot of good people that are signing up but there's also people that are like oh i've seen the show i love it let me try to get on and then they're usually the ones that end up uh wanting to get it clipped from the episode because it's not good um and and how many times did you try to get on before you got on i think i tried to do the numbers i think that was like my 12th or 13th time. Holy shit. Yeah. Okay. So, and if you don't get on, I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. If you don't get on, do you wait at the bar until they tell you or at eight o'clock do

they let everyone who signed up sit in the audience? No, no one, no one in the poor choices is going into the audience. They have a standby line that people start to get it to uh arrive at at like 1 p.m uh on uh 6th street so you got people that have been waiting for the whole day that's to hopefully get into kill tony without a ticket when he pulls the ticket out on stage is that just show they already know who the people are going to be no no, no, I think, I think it's real. I think it's legit. Um, and then they give it to, uh, a guy that works there who then has to run across the street and he's running, he's hauling ass and he comes over, uh, the DJ cuts the music. He gets on the mic. He says, Hey, so-and-so you're on kill Tony. And then they track them down. There's a

lot of applause and stuff. That person follows him. And then you run back behind the alley. And so you're when you're there in the bar, what are you just hanging out by yourself? And then they call your name and you're like, holy shit, your heart rate doubles. I usually find something to do where I'm talking to somebody or I'm trying to do some kind of writing. But this past time I was hanging out with this guy from Nashville and we were just, we were literally sitting out there talking like, you know, why we do this. We're just wasting, you know, several hours each night that we could be doing comedy.

And then we were both like, we have the opportunity. So cool. And then literally as we said that he ran up, I heard my name. I went and chased him. Tyler Gallant, dude. dude later nice to meet you yeah i was outside because i didn't hear it so i heard a faint like it could have been my name and then as i walked closer to the door people that recognized me were like dude it's you holy shit so of those 200 people or 300 people that are there waiting um do you know most of it? Do you recognize them from the other 11 times you were there? Yeah, I recognize, you know, and I know some of them from going to mics and stuff and doing shows out here.

But, you know, like I said, there's a lot of people that are visiting. There's a lot of people that are not really comedians that just want to go up there and get on. And what about are there people in costumes and shit or they have props with them or they're just like oh yeah and you're just in you're just doing you yeah i'm just in street clothes okay so they call your name and and what did that feel like oh it's a rush i've talked to several people about it too it's it's like a it's a crazy rush because i mean that's that's what we're there to do and a lot of us that we've been waiting day you know

if you add all the hours together i think i've waited you know like probably somewhere 36 hours total uh just to just to get on so when you get called it's cool are you drinking when you're waiting i don't know you want to know because i yeah some people make that mistake they get really high because they're bored or they get you know drunk and then they end up going on and they blow it so it's like i don't want to do that you're not fucking that up well you didn't fuck up congratulations okay so they call you and then and then um from when they call you it's like what what is it like 50 yards before you're like on the stage like you walk over there yeah they bring you back and uh are you walking fast or is it chill or

in my case i think the the guy that picked me up um and i'm spacing on his name he's he's also a funny comedian out here um but he we started walking over together i was like ready to run he's like we got some time. Don't worry. We can just kind of walk over there. Um, and then he told me who was on the show. Oh, he does. He does.

By the way, Joe and Tucker on stage. Yeah. Well, he started with Tucker and I was like, okay, that's kind of, that's weird. You know? Um, and then he said, Jim Norton. And I was like, fuck, I love Jim Norton. And then he was like, yeah. And also Joe Rogan. And I was like fuck I love Jim Norton and then he was like yeah and also Joe Rogan and I was like oh okay yeah yeah so I got I immediately started getting anxious you know

because I don't want to I don't want to blow it I want to do a good job I think we were we were looking at their most popular shows in the history of the show and I want to say that um the one that you were on it's on the first page when you click popular i think the most popular one was like 4.4 million had post malone and then but the the one that you were on had over 2 million i want to say it's in the top 10 most popular so and i don't know if you do you have time to think oh shit this is going to be one of the most popular shows in the history of kill tony no no because i knew joe had been on before i i was not even really considering that tucker would draw more people in are you a tucker carlson fan like are you a fan of his

not not really okay i am so i know he's huge yeah when i saw him on there i was like oh shit this is fucking crazy yeah yeah i like i like some of this stuff uh but i don't i don't follow him okay i don't follow him too much too but you but he's all over, I guess, social media, and every clip I hear or the few podcasts that I've heard, I'm like, damn. Yeah. Like he's cutting into shit. I like the way he stared down Putin, though. That was pretty cool.

Yeah. Did you watch the whole time? Did you watch the whole time? I watched that entire... That one, I did watch the entire thing. Did you watch that entire thing? I watched most of it. I just thought it was hilarious that he was trying to get answers out of putin and putin

was just like let me tell you about 5 000 years of russian history yeah yeah yeah yeah we're gonna start 3000 bc and we're gonna fucking take it all the way through i was like fuck putin i hope this is real like what you're saying or it's like close to like you know real facts because because like i'm learning shit like this is the most schooling i've done in 30 years like i'm that was i hope you're telling the truth that was kind of cool and like everyone talks about putin like he's you know and i think he is probably pretty pretty crazy uh he's probably pretty up there as far as rulers go but i mean to see him like that poised and just to like so, you know, carefully walk through that much history

was pretty impressive, honestly. Hey, Tucker said and people said that they thought that Putin got frustrated with him a few times. I didn't really see that. I thought it was just two men. I didn't see Putin get frustrated. No, I think it was more of like Tucker being like, so what I think you're trying to say is you're trying to say this.

And then Putin would be like, let me tell you what I'm trying to say. I need to give you all of the context, and then I'll tell you what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I just thought, as far as I know, that they seemed like friends when they were done. Yeah, no, they seemed fine. They probably both, you know, barebacked some bears together. Probably. Okay, so you cruise across the street. You got nothing in your hands. It's just you. Yeah, I got I got a bunch of shit in my pockets that they take from you and just put it in like a little it's like a bus bin at a restaurant. Pretty much like your cell phone, your keys and whatever. OK.

And and then and then so from when you start walking over there then where do you go from there you're you're just they somehow get you backstage and you're behind the curtain yeah they take you up uh through the back of the of the club and then you're going up several staircases where you got like many many people that are just kind of waiting there hanging out they're all excited for you to be up there. They're all like high-fiving you, giving you a thumbs up, which is only adding to the nerves at that point. And then you get to the point where you are, you know, behind the curtain and you can hear everything that's going out. So like in my mind, I'm like, I've seen this show a million times. This is where people are standing, you know, before they're going up. This is crazy. And then they, they tell

you, in my case, I had more time. I don't know. I think some people get rushed out there, which might be better. Uh, so they don't have time to sit and think, but they were like, Hey, you walk up the stairs and you go straight out. Yeah. I think some people have that experience because it's like, we're trying to keep the show, but they were doing an interview with the girl that was, um, her woman that was crushing it before me. and so they were like hey you have like five

minutes so just like do whatever you need to do i put like i just like covered my ears and just like went over my jokes a few times and hope hoped that i remembered it from doing it so many times yeah crazy and then so um uh does someone put you you do you see the person before you come walking through the curtains and you're standing there so you see them leave yeah they leave and then a few seconds go by and then he calls your name yeah i guess part of the charm is the show is like how ghetto the whole setup is right the stage the fucking just like the table they sit at you see all the wires oh no i wouldn't i wouldn't call it ghetto i think it's it's a it's a pretty decent setup behind the i mean it's a it's a legit comedy club um and behind

the curtain you know i i think what you might be thinking of is more of like when it was at you know some of the previous locations but now it's at the mothership it's that's a that's a legit operation in the video it just looks like it's's just like at a – I don't know. To me. I mean, I haven't watched the show a lot. I don't know where they came from. But, like, the band is, like, packed in there too tight. The table looks like they bought it at Costco.

It's a little stage. I'll say that. There's not enough room. Tucker's hanging off the side. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's meant for comedy.

It's meant for stand-up comedy so it's meant for just one guy to be up there and you know doing what he needs to do with that space but yeah to have all these people is a little crazy yeah wild okay so oh great shot caleb so you walk out so you hear your name and then is there someone with a hand on your shoulder and they just kind of shove you out yeah they give you a little push yeah and then really and then you're learning how to swim you know like they're just in the water yeah and um and you go out there and um i don't remember do you shake your hands with shake hands with all the dudes or anything like that no do they tell you to do that or not to do that they say don't don't touch anybody oh they

do say that yeah i was like dude i don't dude, I'm not out here to kiss anybody. I just want to go do the joke. Wow. But yeah, they give you explicit instructions. Do not touch anybody. I think that's because so many people had, as soon as they come out, they try to shake all the people on the panel's hands. I don't think Tony wants that.

Right. Okay. And then at that point, you walk out there and do you look at them? Like, do you see them? You're like, Oh shit, there's the guys.

Oh shit. There's Joe. I didn't want to look at them. No. Okay. No, that would make it real. I didn't want it to be real.

I wanted to just be going out there and, you know, telling my joke to the people that are listening. It's like another set kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. What about the audience? How big is the audience?

Like, are they packed in there? I never see the audience, but I always just picture them sitting at little round tables and there being way too many people in there. I forget the exact layout and the capacity, but I think it's upwards of 275 to 300 people. And it's packed. Yeah. Yeah. And how many people are backstage before you go out? Probably in total 15, 20.

Okay. And so you do your up and do you have any memories of being up there or feeling good about it or feeling bad about it as you're delivering it? I felt good about the joke. I added some things to the joke that I stopped doing a long time ago, a couple of like tags that are just kind of bleh, you know? And I also, I heard the meow, so I cut another tag out that I like to do. it kind of just adds to the to the very end of it but other than that i mean i delivered the joke the way i wanted to it's uh it's a lot of i think they're used to seeing like people coming up and doing 30 second jokes or 20 second jokes so it's like pop pop pop but um i like that joke because it's i know it's a minute long and i know that

every time i've done it uh pretty much it's done pretty well. So, uh, Oh, sorry. Hold on one second. Uh, what color socks did you wear? Hey, fuck you. I know what you're doing. Uh, and what's a tag? Uh, tag is, uh, just something that you add on to a joke, uh, that you, you know, to kind of, uh uh what's the word just make it make it stronger i guess like build context yeah yeah so like for example um the punch line is the the please you know like that's the very end yeah um or i guess you could say the punch line is uh isn't the librarian kind of a racist bitch like that that's what initially brings them in. And then everything else is kind of a tag on it. So it's like, I went to go check out a book.

She called me the N-word 42 times. Okay. You know, and then another tag I like to say is she's putting up Huck Finn numbers by the hour. You know, like Huckleberry Finn. They say the N-word a hundred times in that book. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, right, right.

Okay. Yeah. Still trying to ban that in school. Yeah, exactly. You probably heard the line, but Chaplin said a great joke only comes after a good joke. So the tags are all the great jokes. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. It depends. And as comedians, I mean, it's like it's hard to say, you know, which which is the best each time, you know, like what's the best part of the joke? That's usually what you'd want to be the punch, I think. And is there any is that show a competition? Like, do they pick a winner for the night or what is the premise no no no they they give you you know a small joke book if you do okay they give you a big joke book if you do really well and then you know they'll book you on the secret show if they really really liked you

so um and what are those joke books those are just empty pages it's just a notebook for you to write in yeah yeah i can go I can go grab it. I can show you. Oh, yeah. Could you? Yeah. Awesome. Okay, yeah.

I saw Tony throwing people these little books, but you know what they look like to me? Like someone took two pieces of cardboard and just put those three big rings in them. You know like when you make flashcards and you put a big steel ring through them when you're a kid? Right. That's what it looks like to me. looks like it's just a cart like just a handmade yeah they're made of leather oh okay wow what oh you got a big one yeah yeah and i got the i got i was booked on the secret show too so oh no no way wow yeah it was cool it was really cool that's cool okay so he says to you so're done, and he throws you the big book,

and that's your first feedback, right? No, first feedback was, I mean, as soon as I finished the joke, Tony said a lot of setup, you know, but a big payoff in the end. I had no idea where you were going with that. And then Jim Norton gave me my favorite feedback, which was just like it was a very well-constructed joke. And that meant a lot because I've been a fan of Jim Norton for a really long time. So that was like surreal to have him compliment me.

And then he throws the big book to you. We had like a five-minute interview, which I felt okay about. I didn't really think there was anything that great about my interview um we talk about cocaine sharks oh that's right i remember yeah yeah that yeah yeah so that that ended up being i think the highlight of of my interview um and then yeah they they booked me on the secret show throw me the big book and then i'm out i'm gonna show you how dumb I am. Are there really things – are there really sharks eating cocaine, or was that just all a joke?

No, that's real. Yeah, people that are sneaking drugs in the country via the sea, they are ditching all the cocaine before they get caught, and sharks have really been eating it and marine biologists are looking into it so wow well sharks on cocaine sounds like a clumsy jaws scarface crossover some researchers say the idea may not be as wacky as it sounds wow terrifying this is the only place in the world where a shark could come into contact with such a massive dose of cocaine with such a massive dose of cocaine yeah man it's not not oh and cocaine bears the eye-catching titles and uh homage to the cocaine bear recent film about a black bear going on a cocaine fueled

rampage wow okay so then you do that and he throws you the book and then what happens to you does he do they tell you there you're going to be booked on the secret show yeah yeah right there on stage yeah they'll they'll usually ask like how what's the longest set you've ever done and then you answer that and then red band will say you know i'd love to have you on the secret show oh that's right i heard that so is that his show yeah yeah he runs that show over at uh sunset strip that's his comedy club on sixth street so what a great gig that dude has that dude gets paid to be on a show show i'm assuming he gets paid oh yeah and and then kill tony and then from there he's actually working to harvest comedians for his

own comedy club yeah and he he was originally the producer on uh joe rogan experience for the yeah i think i remember that i think i remember looking at a list of all the guests joe had on once and read that red man guy that was like his it was the both of them well yeah yeah he was he now has jamie who's the producer who kind of does all the like searching and sound bar stuff for him but it was previously red band and then red band um started working with uh tony hinchcliffe and so oh it's red band i always think it's red man hey um i wonder if that dude regrets um leaving joe rogan now i don't know i i and i can't pretend like I know anything about their dynamic, but it seems like they're,

they're still friends and they're friendly. Um, so I don't think there was really any major falling out. Because now Joe's bigger than all get out, obviously. And I, well, I guess he landed in a good place too.

I guess Tony show is getting massive. Hey, are they, they're taking that show on the road and doing stadiums now? Yeah. They were in LA last night, I think. At the Kia Center. That's crazy.

Same format? People line up and straight to YouTube also? Yeah, they're HEB on New Year's. Their New Year's episode, they went to HEB Center. And apparently, i was not available to go do it but um i know people that signed up and and got to do a minute out in that arena so it's pretty cool yeah that's crazy okay so he he tells you hey will you go to the secret club and you're like yeah i'll do that Here, let me grab my charger. I can keep talking. No hesitancy?

To do the secret show? Yeah. No. No, everyone. I think everyone that goes on there wants to end up doing that. That's just, it's a legitimate show. I'd only been there for a few months. So, you know, I haven't been booked on too many things.

I've only been doing comedy for two and a half years. So to be able to go do a real show with some actual very funny working comedians was a huge, definitely huge opportunity that I wanted to take. And you've done it already? Yeah, I did it. Yeah, I did it a few months ago now. Awesome. Okay, I want to get to that in a second. So you go backstage

and then what happens once you get backstage there's just someone there with a drink in their hand as soon as you walk through the curtains they hand it to you uh no no drink oh who told you there was a drink i just made that up i thought that would be awesome like you know what i mean like you just walk through and they're like dude tyler you the man and some chick with huge tits hugs you and hands you a drink yeah and it's laced with fentanyl something no don't die so so when you're done and they just kick you outside to the street um yeah well they i ran into a few people i ran into william montgomery back there i got to talk to him for a little bit so that was cool they're not rushing you out they're not like hey dude it's crowded back here get out i mean yes and no you know they're they're

getting ready for who's next damn i'm having trouble right now someone just had a seizure in the audience and when you say you talk to him you like like five minutes ten minutes uh no it was like it was like a minute he just he mentioned that he's also from knoxville tennessee and that he used to perform at a club out there that no longer is in operation so he and i just talked about that for a moment uh which was cool and then um yeah and then i got out of there they give you your shit back yeah yeah they give you all your all your stuff back for a price and then you does anyone back there tell you you did a good job i'm just gonna fucking hold this um yeah yeah pretty much everybody that i passed that heard me was like hey great job out there which was yeah that's good and then and then you get outside

and you turn your phone on and who do you call first you call your mom or your girlfriend or yeah i called my girlfriend um a lot of people will go back to poor choices the bar and kind of show off if they uh if they did really well they'll show off their big gel blaster that they give you and the big joke book it's kind of like a it's just like flexing on everybody a little bit. And I didn't really feel like doing that. So I just, I left the comedy club, took an immediate right to my car, called my girlfriend and went home. And were you ecstatic? Were you like screaming at her like, yo, I fucking killed it. I got the big book.

I got invited to this secret show. Well, I told her I talked about her a little bit on the show and she was like, whoa, what'd you say about me? And then that was, and then after we got over that, after I calmed her down, it was like I didn't say anything stupid. She was really excited for me. I hope you told her, hey, you're lucky I fucking talked about you, though.

No. Did you say you got a gel blaster? Yeah, they give you a big gel blaster, too. What is that? Like a Nerf gun? It's kind of like a nerf gun but it shoots little little gel pockets at you that are full of water or something oh yeah i think someone gave those to my kids one year for their birthday or something i that really sucked they were all one of their sponsors i think it's i think it's uh someone that sponsors them did you assemble it

no man i'm just keeping it in the box i think it's just kind sponsors them. Did you assemble it? No, man. I'm just keeping it in the box. I think it's just kind of cool. Collector's item. Yeah, yeah. Just like the joke book. I mean, I'm not writing jokes in that. I do a lot of notes in my phone.

And then, oh, yeah, that could be good on eBay one day, the Kill Tony joke book. Yeah, yeah, maybe. If you're in a pinch. Okay, and then, so is that the highlight of your career? You think? Um, definitely the biggest thing I've done. Um, yeah, I, I mean, to this point, I, like I said, I'm, I'm two and a half years in. Um, and so I've done a lot of shows, uh, but not, not anything that big where there's that much that many eyes on me you know um in this secret uh what's what's it called the secret club secret secret show the secret show

um they have your phone number and someone calls you and then books you yeah well red band uh follows you and then um he reaches out the day of the show i was nervous because i wasn't hearing from him so i i hit him up a couple times um oh like in his dms yeah yeah i was just like hey when's the show gonna be you know and i didn't hear back from him and i was like fuck i blew it he hates me already um and then he hit me up the day of the show it was like come on like this is this is where you're gonna go this is the lineup um so the day of the show yeah and that's just normal um yeah i think for people that off of kill tony you know he has like real legitimate comedians on there that are like working and have lots of followers

and stuff so i'm sure for them he he's had more conversations with them. But for like for us, we're kind of the lowest on the totem pole in there. So. So you think he has a list? He knows that, hey, we need five comedians. And OK. And he only has two that like he that are like, I guess, well-known comedians. And then then he just takes off the top of the list. I'm guessing something like that.

And you're it was your turn. He calls you. Fuck. What if you would have been busy? What if you know? I mean, I I made sure i was i was gonna be there because uh the show is on monday and then you do the secret show that thursday so okay i knew in three days i needed to be there show starts at eight even if i'm not hearing from them i'm gonna be outside that club at like seven o'clock okay oh wow damn wow hey i'm up you know who are you yeah yeah kind of yeah because no one sees it no one sees the kill tony episode um immediately i don't know how many weeks it's backed up but oh those shows aren't live

i don't think so that's just that's his thing, that we're the world's largest live podcast. That's his whole bit. Well, it's live in that it's all recorded, and it's in front of a live audience. I think that's more of what he's meaning. No shit. So when they say every Monday at 8, it's not actually live. No. No, I don't believe so.

Again, it's just live in that there's people, real people in the audience. I can't fucking believe it. I wonder why they don't do it live. Live would be so much better, I think. You know, I think it's better in cases like Tony was at the roast of Tom Brady recently, which was a live event on Netflix. And so I think he needed to be prepared for that. And so, you know, he had a few weeks to pull from,

from other episodes to post. So it's just kind of like in case I can't do it this week, I have, you know, this one that's coming up. I think a lot of podcasts do that. I know that YMH, Your mom's house tom segura uh i think it's pretty well known that his uh he has like a backlog of podcasts too and uh and and tony absolutely murdered the roast he was like the best yeah yeah i saw i i don't have netflix anymore i got kicked out uh but uh yeah we saw i i saw him his performance it was really good yeah your parents changed the password or something no my girlfriend's mom oh yeah yeah and she's in greece for 100 days so

um so um tony you tony probably in in his world is like you know on top of the world right his show's killing it it grows every week he's got so many big people on there and then he does that thing like the roast and that that's gotta like make it where he just fully has crossed over in a full pop culture right I mean for him that even for him that must have been massive yeah i don't know where they were on the list of podcasts overall but i think i saw red band post something that showed uh kill tony second only to jre joe rogan's podcast uh after the appearance on uh on the tom brady rose so i think that did even elevate him even a little bit or their podcast at least a little bit more um and it also took me to the roast the snoop dog

roast have you ever seen him on that oh yeah yeah i've seen i've seen him on a lot of things yeah i could not that was savage Snoop Dogg roast is savage. Yeah. Another good one is the roast of Louis J. Gomez. It's the Skank Fest guys. Okay. I'll watch that after. Legion of Skanks.

Yeah, you should watch that one. That one's really funny too. Do you come down? So that was two months ago. Do you come down from that? Do you go through any depression after that? You go sky high and then you're like, fuck, now fuck now what no i just try to keep expectations kind of low because a lot of people like not a lot of people very few people will go on there and then immediately their life changes you know they're they're doing shows at the mothership all the time they're doing all

this stuff um and so like i tried not to be like oh that's gonna happen to me because you know i didn't want to i just i just wanted to keep kind of grinding. I want to earn my spot out here. So I'm going to just keep doing my thing. You said you've been doing it for two and a half years. What do you denote as or what's the demarcation line from I'm not a comedian to like, okay, I'm a comedian? Oh, no, I think you're a comedian as soon as you, you know, as soon as you start,

as soon as you start actually writing jokes and going to open mics and making people laugh. I think you're a comedian at that point. But you know, like I, I would like to pay my bills. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's where I want to be. So be able to have Netflix. Exactly. Yeah. Not have to worry about getting kicked off. It's like being a professional. That's how professional athletes Netflix. Exactly. Yeah. Not have to worry about getting kicked off. It's like being a professional. That's how professional athletes are. Right.

I mean, basically they work their ass off and they're like, man, if I could just pay my bills, throwing the javelin. Yeah, man, I would like to be just like a minor league hockey equivalent of a comedian,

you know, where they're making, they're making like 60,000 a year, but they're, they're doing what they love to do. Like, I would be OK. I would be so welcoming of that. Yeah. And how often do you do comedy, live comedy? You know, I do open mics all the time. I'm actually running an open mic later this afternoon in East Austin. But I try to do it.

Now that my girlfriend is out in Greece, she has a school student visa and she's doing some kind of anthropology program out there. So she's going to be gone the next 100 days. So my goal is to do comedy every single day, three times a day if I can. Are you more creative with her gone? Is it easier? No, I mean, I have more time if I can. Are you more creative with her gone? Is it easier? No, I mean, I have more time, I guess, a little bit.

She's pretty cool about me going and doing it very often. She knows that I really want to do this. And when she's here, I think creatively, I can like bounce things off of her. So that's good. But, you know, now it's just like the repetition is going to go up through the roof so and will you do your um ups just at home by yourself oh do i like run my material yeah yeah

yeah yeah i'll kind of like pace around and walk and i do a lot of writing in the car which is illegal yeah but i i like to do that yeah yeah i do that for the podcast to take notes. How do you do it? Do you have one of those things that sticks on your windshield and your phone sits right there? Probably should. Oh, those are awesome. I just got one of those about six months ago. It changed my life. I look like an Uber driver, but man, having your phone there is amazing. Yeah. I need one of those. Uh, I just, no, I just hold it in my hand. I'm pretty, I'm pretty good at not looking and just typing it out and I can usually translate it later on. But like, if something comes to me, I want to at least get it down and get the premise down so I can revisit it

later. And, and sober, sober. Are you sober? Pretty sober? Yeah. Yeah. And you don't do anything. You don't smoke weed or get drunk or do acid or try to get inspired by any medicinal shit like that. Nah. No. No.

And I like I don't I know people that do go up and they use that or they get high and like to go on stage. And it's like I just don't I don't know that I would get anything out of it. So, yeah, it would just make me paranoid and want to run home. Yeah. We're being like tipsy. Like, I just don't, I don't know that I would get anything out of it. Yeah, it would just make me paranoid and want to run home. Yeah, or being like tipsy. Like, I feel like I would just not, I wouldn't be as sharp as I want to be. So I just don't like to do that. Is it fun what you're doing or do you feel uncomfortable pressure or, you know, like trying to?

It is fun. It's fun. And, you know, when I was doing it in Knoxville, I kind of accepted that, you know, this is a long process. It's it's like usually 10 to 15 years before a comedian is like who they who they're going to be, you know, and then that's usually, you know, for the really successful ones, that's typically when they start their career starts taking a really big upturn. So I'd accepted, you know, for the really successful ones, that's typically when they start, their career starts taking a really big upturn. So I'd accepted, you know, this is a long process. But then you come out here and you see people that have been doing it for a year and a half, two years, three years, and they're achieving massive success. And then you start comparing.

And so that's what I'm currently trying to work through is like, don't look at what other people are doing. Just focus on yourself, focus on being funny and a opportunity will come. What about just like letting go? So like I do some pre, I do some bits on this show that I would have never done, you know, the first year I did the podcast and because, and then basically as time goes on, I've learned more and more just to let go, just let go, just like, don't worry,

just nothing bad is going to happen. Even if someone gets mad, you're going to do another show tomorrow. You're going to do another show tomorrow. Do you feel like, um, I'll give you a specific example of what I mean by letting go. You're, you're, you're, you're raised by your parents and your parents form you and there's things you're supposed to say and there's things you're not supposed to say. And you have to kind of like break through that do you feel that does that resonate with you what i'm saying like hey just fucking let go just get fucking wild just like more like instead of create it channel it um yeah i mean before a big show the nerves always hit you know so i i try to i try to just you know just be like this is what

i like to do like this isn't a scary thing this isn, you know, just be like, this is what I like to do. Like, this isn't a scary thing. This isn't a bad thing. This is like your body is telling you, hey, this is a scary thing. This is not good. But, you know, I have to remind myself I love doing this, you know, and I love going up and I love making people laugh. So, yeah, I try to channel that when I can. Do you have a like um, uh, uh, like kind of like a Zen tea party or a process you go through if you're like,

let's say like your chicks out of town and you're like, okay, I want to write some comedy before I do that. I need to do 10 jumping jacks. I need to sing three songs and I need to like, uh, drink so much water that I feel uncomfortable. Do you have any,

I'm ready. Coffee. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Coffee, cigarettes, you know, those kinds of things start to get me thinking. uncomfortable did you have any no coffee i'm ready coffee okay yeah yeah coffee cigarettes you know those kinds of things start to get me thinking get you going yeah all right dude thank you so much for sharing the experience i'm so stoked for you and i appreciate you coming on i was so curious how the whole how the whole thing unfolds it's kind of like how i imagined i and i

guess that's the charm of the show that it's just kind of like fly by the seat of the pants. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it was really cool. I'm hoping to be on it again in the next couple of months. And, uh, are you going back there in line? Do you go back to the, are you going back to the people? What's that place called? The people's choice, poor, poor choices, poor choices. Are you, do you go, are you still going back there and signing up

I haven't been in a while but I think I'm going to start going back on Mondays and and just see if I can get back up there I have you know I obviously have more more material that I'd like to uh to go up there and do and see if I can get any more kinds of opportunities and exposure hey um do they do any home cooking like pick, or does it feel like it's really random? Yeah, I can't, I can't say if they do that or not. But it feels pretty random. Yeah. That's awesome.

All right. And, and, and you, you, it's on Mondays for you too. It's every month. If you want to go, it's Monday, Monday at six 30, you show up there. Yeah. Monday at six 30, get in line. Yep. Awesome. All right, dude. Well dude well uh i follow you now i can't wait to see you get up there again i appreciate you

coming on and sharing your story yeah man you ever need another panel guest to watch those hot dudes lift yeah i'm here yeah okay that'd be crazy are you good at tearing people up? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. I can absolutely do that. Give me two cups of coffee. I'll be ready to talk. Yeah. Hey, in my – so I don't know if you're familiar, but there's this thing called CrossFit.

And it's all over the world, but it's still really small. But it just happens to be all over the world. It's fucking everywhere, but it's just happened to be all over the world it's fucking everywhere but it's still small and just no one's really cracked the code ever on how to um make it something palatable and i remember i would watch kill tony i'd be like how the fuck do people watch this this show is so stupid and then i went to bed one night and i was like hey you dipshit quit drop that narrative about that show being stupid because it's obviously popular and what can you learn from it and within seconds i was like oh shit yeah we just are we're supposed to crossfitters are supposed to be nice to each other support you you're not obese you can work it off good luck push harder and i was like we just need to do the kill tony version of this let people did you see

the show did you do you know i watched yeah i watched a little bit i i just i heard you guys saying he's he's walking out with a big puddle of cum out in the middle of the floor oh yeah yeah okay yeah yeah so so basically so he that dude does the workout and then and then people and then we have a phone number on the bottom and you send a link and then we send you a streamyard link like i sent you this morning then you come on and do it and then we talk you a StreamYard link like I sent you this morning, and then you come on and do it. And then we talk hellacious shit to you. And then if you win, you get $500, and we do four or five people a week. And then if you don't, the money rolls over. Yeah, you would seriously come on and do that?

Because sometimes we'll need people to come on. That would be fun to have you. Do the exercises? No, no, just like a non-CrossFitter, just talk shit. Yeah, no, I'll talk shit whenever needed. I'll do that yeah oh that's awesome that's really kind okay all right all right uh so i have your phone number yeah yeah okay and we we go every saturday morning and usually i am really seed of the we fly

by the seat of the pants too so i'll text you in in like the night before yeah yeah all right tyler that's really cool of you. That's generous. You're the first person who's offered to come on like that. Thank you. Usually it's just the athletes are like, get me in, get me in. I'll beat them. No, man.

I want to talk shit about people I'm jealous of. Yeah. That sounds fun. Hell yeah. Just project all your insecurities on me. Yeah. You're exactly what my girlfriend wishes I was. I hate you. That's what it's going to be. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Maybe that exactly what my girlfriend wishes I was. I hate you.

That's what it's going to be. Yes. Maybe that should be the name of the show. Yeah, yeah. Hey, do you think they're going to send me – people keep telling me, Tyler, that they're going to send me a cease and desist because we call the show Kill Taylor. I mean it's – I don't know. I don't know. I guess I don't know those laws.

Yeah, I don't know them either. know I guess I don't know Those laws Yeah I don't know them either Maybe you could do Murder Taylor Maybe you could Change kill Change the verb there Yeah or just Leave it as K K Taylor

Yeah Ketamine Taylor I don't know I don't know Alright brother Thank you so much Good to meet you Good to have you on the show

Alright guys Take care Alright ciao See you Tyler Wow Holy fuck A non-crossfitter Thank you so much. Good to meet you. Good to have you on the show. All right, guys. Take care. All right. Ciao. See you, Tyler. Wow. Holy fuck. A non-CrossFitter.

Come on there and just mash people. That'd be amazing. Wow. We need a replacement for Tyler anyway. Oh, poor Tyler. Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. The other one. Tyler Watkins, Tyler. The other one. Tyler Watkins?

Yeah. Or Taylor Self? Watkins. Well, that was cool. He looked bigger when he was on the Kill Tony show. He looked more petite on our show. He's a good-looking dude. Very handsome. You think so think so yeah i like his hair

he's just clean he is very clean you like anyone with hair that's true i'm projecting my insecurities on him yeah damn he was on with fucking tucker oh darn it i wanted to ask him why uh didn't it seem like before all the good comedians were uh liberals and now it's like none of the Damn, he was on with fucking Tucker. Oh, darn it. I wanted to ask him why. Didn't it seem like before all the good comedians were liberals and now it's like none of the good comedians are liberals? You feel that? Absolutely. Yeah. Everybody who's liberal is a trash comedian.

None of their shit makes sense. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Nice bone structure. Yeah, that. yeah it doesn't make sense a nice bone structure yeah that uh i could not watch kill uh taylor live but it was fire what a suspense yeah thanks i'm pretty sure i thought it was i don't know why i'm saying thank you but i thought it was absolutely amazing too um uh i was talking to greg about it and he's like hey you you should let Taylor have an opportunity after someone beats him to go again and beat their time. But I don't know if that's –

That's too much. Yeah, he can't do that workout twice in 40 minutes anyway, right? No, that would be a fucking horrible idea. Yeah. He blows his load in the first one. That's the best one you're going to get. Yeah. Yeah. All right. he blows his load in the first one that's the best one you're gonna get yeah yeah alright

yeah it's Mother's Day today yeah I need to call my mom happy Mother's Day to all you milfs yeah to all you milfs I saw this I saw this yesterday i thought this was pretty funny uh the california students received a million dollars california students get one million dollars after they were expelled for wearing supposedly

racist acne mask falsely accused the boys of posing for a photo on blackface it's not even black it's green it's amazing during a sleepover in august 2017 three 14 year old boys two of whom were about to start attending saint francis high school in mountain view california took a picture of themselves wearing dark green acne masks one of the boys who was hosting the other two had severe acne and his friends applied the mask in an act of playful solidarity they took the picture because they thought they looked silly three years later after another teenager obtained the picture and posted it online the two saint francis students were falsely accused of posing in blackface and were forced to leave the school under the threat of expulsion that sentence doesn't even make sense they were forced to Oh, my God. This week at California, hey, we're going to expel you tomorrow. All right, fine, then I'm not coming. Fine, then I'll leave.

Okay, so then you just got expelled. That was a nasty loogie. This week, California jury awarded the boys identified as A.H. and H.H. in their lawsuit against the school, one million in damages, plus a tuition reimbursement of $70,000. A photograph of the innocent event was plucked from obscurity and grossly mischaracterized during the height of a nationwide social unrest. You mean the complete fucking George Floyd psychosis? The boy's family said that they filed their lawsuit in 2021.

The photo came to light in June of 2020, a month after Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin killed. He did not kill George Floyd. Nope. He sure didn't. Man, Reason Magazine's gone to shit. This is horrible writing. Including one where recent graduates of the school posted a meme about Floyd's death on Instagram. Because of that context, AAH and AAH argued St. Francis officials rushed to judgment.

That's awesome. judgment that's awesome the boys did not use the face mask or take the photograph with any ill intent bias or prejudice let alone in connection with any racist sentiments or epithets the lawsuit uh said wow that's awesome the school representative said they respectfully disagree with the jury's conclusion about the fairness of our disciplinary process. They added that the school is exploring legal options, including a possible appeal. It's a green acne mask. How are you going to appeal that? Fucking woke fucktards

I don't want to say idiots in case you didn't know the charter of Hamas and Hezbollah and the country of Iran one of their charters is to kill all Jews to kill all Jews. Hi, Seema. Here we go. Here we go. This is going to get weird here. To kill all Jews. Here we go. Do you believe Iran really wants to kill all the Jews if they could? The Iranian regime? Yeah. Do you believe Hamas is serious when they say we'll keep

doing it over and over again? Do you agree that they will if they can? I do. Okay. Do you believe that Hezbollah is a terrorist organization also bent on the destruction of the Jewish state? Hezbollah is a terrorist organization. Okay. So Israel's been hit in the last few weeks by Iran, Okay, so Israel's been hit in the last few weeks by Iran, Hezbollah, and Hamas, dedicated to their destruction. And you're telling me you're going to tell them how to fight the war and what they can and can't use when everybody around them wants to kill all the Jews? And you're telling me that if we withhold weapons in this fight, the existential fight for the life of the Jewish state, it won't send the wrong signal?

If we stop weapons necessary to destroy the enemies of the state of Israel at a time of great peril, we will pay a price. This is obscene. It is absurd. Give Israel what they need to fight the war they can't afford to lose. Do you believe Iran really wants to kill all the Jews if they could? The Iranian regime? Yeah. He's such an idiot.

The black dude? Lloyd Austin, yeah. Yeah, he is a fucking moron. God, he's a moron. Ah, yes. We cannot give them any weapons And we must tell them that they need to fight The war

The right way 1.5 million 1.5 billion Muslims 1.5 billion Muslims 12 million Jews Think about that 54 Muslim states Nations

One Jewish nation. Surrounded on all sides by people who want to kill them. I don't know if Egypt still wants to. Well, they're definitely not trying to help them. And there's people protesting too. Fucking crazy. Crazy, crazy crazy crazy crazy uh oh oh here we go

it was weird uh instagram suggested me that i follow this guy he just popped up in my feed crazy russell brand yeah you don't follow him already? I do now. But with my new account, all the people I used to follow got erased, sent into a room.

Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Now we know that ivermectin isn't bad for you, and CNN anchors like Chris Como, who you've probably heard of, are using ivermectin themselves. Let's track where Chris Cuomo was and where Chris Cuomo is. And again, like to his credit, he's publicly admitted this transition. Ivermectin, a dewormer. Really? They are shaming themselves. No one has

to shame them. They're shaming themselves. No, they need to be shamed. They need to be called out and shamed, brother. Well, let's have a look at what's Como saying in 2024. I am taking a regular dose of ivermectin. Ivermectin was a boogeyman early on in COVID. You couldn't talk about it. That was wrong. We were given bad information about ivermectin. The real question is why?

That dude's wife pegs him for sure. Big time. that dude's wife pegs him for sure big time that dude's wife pegs him fucking so hard everyone's gonna say joe rogan was right no joe rogan was saying yeah he was right that's amazing no joe rogan no wait actually no he you know that that that is true they were and the truth is, is Joe was walking the lot. Joe was kind of being a pussy for a long time, too. He just wouldn't just straight up say, hey, it's fat people and old people. Man, he was really avoiding it. And then finally he clicked over.

Judy Reed, he fed us bad information. Yeah. It's so funny that he says we were given. That's how I know he gets pegged. We were given. We were given bad information. You're the guy giving the information. You fucking idiot.

You're the guy. What a complete fucking douche canoe. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Ready? Ready? Brace yourself. Here we go.

Here we go. Palestinians were offered a state in 1936 in the Peel Commission. They rejected it. They were offered a state in 1947, the UN Partition Plan. They rejected it. They were offered a state in 1967 after Israel conquered Judea and Samaria in the West Bank. they rejected it. They were offered a state in 2000, Yasser Arafat, Ehud Barak, they rejected it. They were offered a state with Ehud Omer, 2008, they rejected it. Israel unilaterally withdrew from Gaza in 2005, and they did not create a state. In fact, where were you, Cenk, when you say that you care about Palestinian children? When Hamas stole the highest rate of per capita international foreign aid, larger than the Marshall

Plan, from Palestinian children, did not build schools for them, did not build hospitals, took all the money to buy bombs and to build a network of tunnels, which is larger than the New York subway system. Where were you then? Why did you only come up now? In fact, when Bashar al-Assad killed 600,000 children, Arab children, when he gassed them with mustard gas, my organization took out full page New York Times ads to protect them from sarin gas. Where were you then? The Palestinian... Imagine Jews taking full page ads out in the New York Times to save Arab children. And all these fucking countries sit around every day chanting death to fucking Jews.

It's fucking wild. I don't understand. Cenk is a paid actor. Man, he is a horrible person. He is a horrible person. Someone needs to get him a fucking Peloton, too. He's a mess. He's a fucking mess.

Cens were offered a stay to 1936. I don't know how it could be any more clear. Like if you're Palestinian, you got to go. You got to run. You're not the first people to run. The Jews ran. The Armenians ran. Shit works out great for them.

I like this. Mexicans are running. Yeah, Mexicans are running. No, thank you. Actually, it's not even the Mexicans. I think they're running yeah mexicans are running no thank you actually it's not even the mexicans there i think they're staying in mexico i think i heard it's like less than five percent of the people who cross the border actually mexicans i told somebody that the other day and they were in disbelief i was like yeah you realize that there's just it's just open down there right like anybody can get there anybody can walk through and they didn't believe you

i didn't believe me hey it's worse than that too that not only can anyone get through but the border patrol is waiting to help you across right well did you see the there was a massive group of play i think it was like 2 000 people who came across the border they all had lawsuits against them and the state i think was either the state of texas or new me whatever, dropped the lawsuits and then just handed them over to Border Patrol to be processed, to be either removed or allowed. Where was that? Say that again, Caleb. Where was that? I think it was in Texas.

They just had like 2,000 people. They had like lawsuits against 2,000 people for illegally crossing the border. And they ended up dropping all of the lawsuits and just passed them over to Border Patrol to be processed. Of course. Wow, look at that sweat rain. Yikes, dude. SEMA cannons. Stop making... God damn. Stop making it about religion

when you know this is about bypassing the Suez Canal. I don't even mean to make it about religion. I just mean to – I'm just using those terms Jews and Muslims to categorize people. I hear you though. Okay, here we go. This is good. 7-Eleven or 9-Eleven? I didn't fucking ask it!

I'm not mad at it, to be honest with you. That is... That's actually a very sophisticated way of asking if I'm a Hindu or a Muslim. When you think about it, that guy knows more than you realize. That wasn't standard issue racism. That was, I know enough to be racist and it's funny. I can't be mad at this man! But don't ever call me Muslim again, though. I'm 5'7 out this bitch, bro.

Probably be taller if I was Muslim because of the region. So the answer is 5'7", 11. Are you 7'11 or 9'11? That's an interesting distinction. I didn't think about that. Hindu versus Muslim. I wonder if that is true, that the dudes who work at 7-Eleven are the Hindus. Oh, shit.

I lost Caleb. Oh, there he is. I don't know what the fuck happened to Caleb. He got hotel internet. He got hotel internet. This kid's account. This is called the outrage team. This kid's account.

Hi, Caleb. You turn your lights off they're censoring me uh this kid's just been just filling my feed lately gavin newsom's attorney blatantly said that she doesn't believe taxpayers to make decisions about how much they're taxed. This is all because Newsom and the state legislature are taking the proponents of a taxpayer protection initiative to court to get that initiative off the ballot completely. The initiative makes it so that every new tax that's approved by the state legislature has to get approved by the voters before becoming law. And they don't like this

because they're claiming that this could cause government services to be cut back. Recent homeless audit literally showed us how bad government services have failed us. So you know what? If you're going to be incompetent like that, screw your government services. In fact, by the way, you remember during COVID Newsom said publicly, we're not giving out all the information because the public isn't smart enough to decipher the information. And now we're not smart enough to decipher the information. And now we're not smart enough to vote on our tax. I forgot about that. Of course. How does anyone fucking vote on that?

We're uninformed. It's fucking wild. It's okay. They know better than us. They know what's best for us. So wild. Man, Gavin Newsom really makes me sick. Why make any decision when you have experts?

When you have Gavin Newsom to decide for you. Get back to work. Exactly. Trouble in the Secret Service. Oh, this is great. Have you heard this story? So the Secret Service was hiring based on DEI dei policies have you heard this story yet what happened to kamala harris's secret service no she had a fucking nervous she had

a nervous one of her um secret service agents had a nervous uh breakdown and meltdown and the other agents had to fucking handcuff her and take her away all because of dei dude they're hiring the people to protect the vice president of the United States based on DEI. Can you imagine wanting a woman to fucking protect you if you were fucking a high-value target? Like, you would have to justify it. You would have to justify it.

Like, hey, we need a woman here so she can blend into the crowd. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it would have to be the utility based on the fact she is a woman. They'd have to be. Why would you ever want a woman to protect you over a man yeah why would you ever that's fucking nuts been plagued by scandals since biden's election they slammed the brakes on the white house coke investigation then destroyed the evidence naomi biden's secret service detail got carjacked right in front of

her house and of course commander her commander. But the scariest incident happened just a few weeks ago when a Secret Service agent assigned to Kamala Harris wigged out, attacked her colleagues, and pelted them with maxi pads. The freakout was so concerning, she had to be hospitalized. That agent had a checkered past. Before she joined the service, she was a cop with a controversial fatality and a dismissed lawsuit on her jacket. A lot of people were asking how someone like that could get so close to the second most powerful person in the country. Constitutionally, that's Kamala. Today, an anonymous group of Secret Service agents signed a petition and sent it to congress demanding an investigation

into secret service director kim cheadle specifically her dei hiring project how could that be like i just see her and i know she doesn't work she can't be the head of the secret service i have enough discernment i don't choose her what her. What are you basing that on, Sebon? Well, I'm not fully in touch with it, but I can just tell you, I would not pick her to be head of the Secret Service. There's no way. I have discernment. Well, you're sexist or racist.

You don't like white women? I don't know. Maybe I don't like the way she carries herself. I don't think she cares about herself enough. Maybe it's that dumbass necklace. Maybe it's because she ass necklace. Maybe, maybe it's because she looks like she's overweight. She don't promise to transform the secret service by hiring more women.

Why, how, why the fuck would you do that? What would be the premise of may, why would that be a goal of yours to ever hire more women? For anything. It's like, why would you hire more men? Like, listen, if you need babies made, more women.

You need second graders taught, more women. You need more nurses, more women. Secret service? I've met some nurses that are not great. Women are not great yeah yeah only problem they say all these female hires aren't really being vetted multiple sources say the agent in kamala's detail had a history of poor judgment and wasn't quote held to the same rigorous standards expected of all Secret Service agent candidates during her recruitment, training, and eventual assignment. Oh, shit.

The sources also told the petitioners she failed the drill known as Hogan's Alley. It's one of those courses where you run through simulated ambushes and have to shoot bad guys, not civilians. Instead, she shot the civilians and let the bad guys live. You're not supposed to fail that test to be promoted to protect the vice president's life. The petition claims Director Cheadle, who at that time was the special agent overseeing her exam, graduated her anyway. If true, that's a huge problem. The petition says the agency is vulnerable to, quote, potential insider threats. These agents are demanding an immediate congressional investigation and want the director dismissed.

The Secret Service says it's evident that this anonymous petitioner does not embody the U.S. Secret Service's values of service over self. Our strength comes from our diversity. No, your strength does not come from your diversity. Your strength does not come from your diversity. Exactly. There's a specific person you want. By the way, she was arrested. They handcuffed her and took her away while she was protecting the vice president.

In the knowledge, skills, experience, and perspective each employee brings the secret service has been fucking nuts right that's insane it's it's embarrassing honestly i i guess i guess i'm trying to think of where diversity would help i guess like it depends in skin color. I can't think of anything really, but, um, but like you want a diverse amount of, I guess, bacteria introduced to your kids so they can build a strong immune system. I guess you want, if you have a basketball team, you want a diverse skillset. Like every dude can't be dunking. Some dudes got to be able to dribble down the court, but choosing based on skin is just or genitalia is insane yep for sure what a fucking weird world we live in kamala i wonder if she's pissed no she probably wants that lady back on her service whenever you feel feel up to it we'd love to have you back at work here's another great one

this is in regards to the documents classified documents supposedly that they found at Mar-a-Lago Olivia my husband's partner was hired for her Spanish she's a terrible cop it's insane how she is even a cop yeah hire her as a translator don't make her a cop like you can hire somebody for a specific skill set you don't have to make them do everything else diversity for language

or blending into crowds yeah for sure and that's what I was talking about Like if you were going to have a woman who's a secret service agent I could see picking her Because she's qualified but also because she blends in Right Like you need a woman you can't have a dude in a spot I totally get that For blending in But it better be like a specific reason

Like if just generic secret service agent Dude Guy with gun gun stands at door shoots people dude not girl uh here we go remember this photo this is a photo that was everywhere when the FBI raided Trump's home Mar-a-L on August 8, 2022. This is also the very photo that the FBI or Department of Justice leaked to the media, ensuring that it was published everywhere for everyone to see. Notice those classified cover sheets. Yeah, it now turns out that those were not part of the documents.

It turns out that the FBI paper clipped those covers on the top of the documents for the photo op. It now turns out that a number of those top secret labels don't even match the documents they were supposedly meant to protect. All this was revealed from a newly uncovered disclosure in a special counsel Jack Smith's case against Donald Trump. So the FBI and the Department of Justice tempered with evidence and participated in a hoax to target a former and likely the next president of the United States. And they have been lying about it for nearly two years. Of course, these are the same agencies that came up with Russia occlusion hoax, trying to remove a sitting president, Donald Trump, from office.

These are also the same agencies that withheld intelligence from a sitting president, Donald Trump, while in office and wiretapped him. The bringers of justice care so much about justice and dangers to democracy that they spent eight years committing serious crimes, including treason, to remove an elected president from office. Yet they found nothing. So they continue to commit serious crimes, including treason, to make sure he wouldn't get elected again. You think they really did that? I don't know. I would imagine if you're going to take pictures of

documents that could be classified, they need to have a cover page on them. I know when we have classified documents and stuff. You mean if the photo gets out, people don't see it? Right. Like, what the document is?

Right. So, I mean, that's feasible, but, I mean, you don't want to expect that they're thinking with the best judgment. Jonathan Ortega, Secret Service hires Used to come from Delta 4 special forces And other special operations teams They started putting LinkedIn jobs The last couple years Crazy That's when you know it's bad

It goes on LinkedIn Crazy crazy crazy I think all that shit I think all Trump shit's gonna get Thrown out slowly but surely. I don't know how he can't win. Okay, here we go. This is pretty good. What bothers me is why the hell am I the only person in the Republican Party who has the guts to say English should be our national language?

I know. Why am I the only person who can actually offer a legal argument for why we should be able to end birthright citizenship without a constitutional amendment? And so the irony to me is I can answer that. I can answer that. Yeah. It's because of the color of your skin. And I don't mean I'm saying you are inoculated, you know, for someone who looks like she's straight from.

I just I disagree with that. I'm going to be back at you, Steve. I'm going to hit you hard for that. That is because the rest of you are freaking lazy. Cowards. And the conservative movement has grown lazy. Cowards. Cowards, yeah.

People in this country have common sense. What we really lack is courage. Yes. So I'm not going to buy some BS that, like, my last name or my skin color insulates me. Think about it. I had to step down to my silver mold. No, but that's the perception. You have balls, but other people won't criticize you.

But we'll just level it. we're having some fun here i stepped down from my seat by a c of a company multi-billion dollar company that i founded led a ceo built it from scratch wasn't born into money and had a choice to do what every other biotech ceo was doing in the wake of george floyd chose not to do it did not issue a statement in favor of blm because saving this country involves some measure of sacrifice yeah so to somebody i get this from white friends all the time good-hearted people's like i love that you can say because i can't my answer is bullshit you're just a coward stand up and actually say it stand for your actual convictions because if you can't stand for your convictions you don't have any at all i think the thing that bothers me is why the hell am i the only it's really i mean there this is this is like a theme to the show this is like a theme to the show that's why it's crazy is is

you know as um contradictory to what i normally say that's why people with melanated skin have to speak up they have to it the people with melanated skin have to speak up. They have to. The people with melanated skin have to speak up so that they can liberate white people. Who are shackled to this fucking poor black people story. It's just fucked. But it's where it's where we're at. It's where we're at. There was a. There's another good one.

Let me see if I can find it with Charlie Kirk. And this black guy rolls up. The shush is catching on. What? Say it again? The shush is catching on. The show? The shush. Oh, oh.

Tyler started a new thing. Shh. Shh. If your kid is the only... If your kid is the only black kid in the school, in the class, in the neighborhood, that is not a neighborhood

for that child. That is a neighborhood for you. Mm. You know what's interesting to me? Black people used to be against prejudice, bigotry, ignorance, and racism. And now it seems like we're leading the pack in all those categories. Bravo, black people. Bravo. You have literally turned into the thing that kept you in bondage for so many years. Isn't that crazy? That's like the pop psychology.

You do turn into read the comment. Anyone else notice this? Keep listening to Democrats and their bigoted lies. So getting out of the hood is a bad thing. Now you missed it. You missed on this one. Oh, you missed on this one, my boy. Oh, here we go.

Let's see what crazy. I'd assume he thinks he's right but it just seems like he thinks white is right for some reason wow oh it rhymes so it must must be the right thing to do my school is split almost 50 50 the black kids i went to school with mostly ended up in section 8 like their parents were the town over had three black kids in the graduating class of the same year all three moved to put their kids in that school. Town is almost entirely white. One of them is the executive of Cisco Foods

making around $300,000 a year. One is the mayor of the city and the other runs a successful construction company. Oh, wow. Weird how that works. Yeah. It's almost as if it doesn't matter. That's crazy. That's crazy.

I disagree. Being a child of parents who moved to the suburbs in the 70s, I enrolled in a school where I would be one of two or three black children. I hated it. Being singled out by the teacher when disruptions happened in the 70s i enrolled in school where i would be one of two or three black children i hated it being singled out by the teacher when disruptions happened in the class constantly being called the n-word by adults waiting for the bus fighting racist bullies in school doesn't build character it creates trauma it's not racist to want a balanced life for your children a safe space where they are affirmed love protected our problem is we are always wanting to prove we

belong somewhere that's madness we have, nice, diverse community where children thrive. I believe that's where the original poster was getting at. She doesn't disagree with them, though. She didn't even disagree with them. Some of that last one said, by definition, a black person cannot be a racist of course not that's a trip hey listen it by no means am i suggesting if you're the only black kid at your school is that going to be fun or it might not be weird just like if you're the only white i mean uh all i think tons of us have had friends where um they were only a handful of white kids that are all black school i mean howard stern talks about it all the time getting beat up being the only white kid at the

school i want to see whoopi goldberg i got notes are just out of control again. I just feel like just rushing through them and getting rid of so many. Here we go. Whoopi! One is obligated to have an abortion. So you never have to have one. And I hope no one ever has to have one. But if you find yourself in a position where you have to, I want to make sure, and I'm way past having kids. I want to make sure, yes, way past.

I want to make sure that if you decide this is what you need to do, I'm going to get behind you because I don't know your life. And if you say this is what you need, that's, I'm going to get behind you because I don't know your life. And if you say this is what you need, that's what I'm going to do. 50 weeks, 75,000 weeks, whatever happened to weeks. It's nobody's business. It's you, your doctor and God. That's who you have to be conversational to. And it's not mentioned in the, in the Big Ten. I'm just going to say. In the Big Ten, it is not meant. The commandments? Yeah. You know, because I figured God was pretty clear. Here's the stuff that'll make

your life better on earth. Here's the... Don't lie, because you don't want people lying to you. Don't mess with somebody's wife, because you're going to be mad if they're messing with you. You know, common sense stuff. Say thou shalt not kill. Yes, well here's the thing. I think thou shalt not kill cannot be used as

the block because we allow war. No one is Holy shit. So it's always, abortion's a trip a trip killing babies is a trip because there's always a justification that should not kill is not associated with abortion because you know we have wars and stuff i mean she already said she would allow the murder of a baby at 40 weeks i mean she basically said it's 7 000 weeks yeah you Yeah, for her, you can kill a baby anytime you want. What is 7,000 weeks? Like 30 years old? Man.

And then she goes on to say, the justification for killing babies is because we have war. It's the two wrongs make a right. God, she sucks. Man, these people fucking suck. There's no honest, there's no honest, there's never any honest conversation.

By the way, 7,000 weeks is 134. So you just got aborted by God. Years old. Yeah. God, his video was so good. His Instagram the other day. I'll play it in a second. Nigga, you bullshit.

Who cares, pussy ass? Who cares, nigga? Nigga, please. Nigga, please. Nigga, please. Nigga, please. Now, how is a nigga going to borrow a fry? Understand is that if it's so offensive to them,

then why do they say it over and over again? So Riley said the N-word before you did that morning. He says it every morning. He calls me nigga. He calls the other kids nigga. He calls himself nigga all the time. Nigga this, nigga that. Nigga please.

Bitch nigga. Nigga, have you lost your mind? Nigga, check that hoe. Nigga, you bullshit and break yourself nigga he says it so much i don't even notice it anymore last week in lunch riley says to a classmate can a nigga borrow a french fry and my first thought wasn't oh my god he said the word uh the n word it was now how is a nigga gonna borrow a fry nigga is you gonna give it back I'm telling you my inside voice Didn't talk like that before he got in my class Nigga

I'm telling you my inside voice Didn't talk like that Before he got in the class I saw this and I was like wow That's the um That's the whole rap music thing What do you mean Like I hear that word 400 times a day because i listen to rap music

5 000 times a day now it's just your inside voice yeah like whatever like yeah like it like has nothing to do with being racist zero zero zero zero zero zero that came on that came 0-0-0-0-0. That came out a little hot, huh? Yeah. A little spicy. Rap music. That's why you watch the show. All right, what else? You show Hiller's video?

Oh, we could. Let me do one more Jew thing. Let me do one more Jew thing. Here we go. Here we go. We are UCLA students. I have my ID right here. I'm being blocked off, not by the security guard, but by you two. You three. Oh, look, they're making their burger while I'm going this way. This is what they do. Everybody, look at this. Look at this. I'm a UCLA student. I deserve to go here. We pay tuition.

This is our school. And they're not letting me walk in. My class is over there. I want to use that entrance. Well, I can't take it. Will you let me go in? This could be over in a second. Just let me and my friends go in the class.

We're not engaging with that. Then you can move. Will you move? We're not engaging with that. We're not engaging with that. Then you can move. Will you move? We're not engaging with that. We're not engaging with that. We're going. I'm going in. I have my hands up.

I'm not hurting them. Close the entrance. We are UCLA students. Holy shit, dude. How do the cops just not come and, like, how is that okay to do that on campus? It's not, like, how is it okay to treat people like that? It's like, dude, I pay hundreds of thousands

of dollars just to attend this school so I can get a degree and learn some shit, and you're gonna stand here and be a fucking asshole and not let me go to class? Just bring out the fucking water cannons, man. Dog shit. Just bring out the fucking water cannons, man. Dog shit. Just bring out the water cannons.

Okay. Yeah. Andrew Hiller. Look at his most. Do you have internet good enough to play something? Let me see. We'll see. It's so good.

Is it this one? With his face? Oh, no, with the purple. The second one. Yeah, this one is so good. We can get chasing behind to do a live stream. He was fantastic last year. This is ludicrous.

Awesome. Now I have to actually do my job on both screens at my desktop instead of just one. Crap. Why do they continue to slap their own son? Burn. We need to grow this boy and make it professional. But let's not air it. Oh, what?

Imagine if the NHL was like now. We're not going to show game. One of any of our playoff games. I'll be watching the hill stream. Greenlee, oh well, oh well. Imagine if the NHL was like now. We're not going to show game. One of any of our playoff games.

I'll be watching the hill stream. Oh well. Wanna play me a ball, play off games I'll be watching you hit a stream Imagine if the NHL was like, nah, we're not going to show game one of any of us. Hey, I watched boxing last night. Probably like, I don't know. You could argue he's the greatest boxer who ever lived. Lomachenko was fighting. And the fucking event was such a shit show. And I just wish that everyone who complains about crossfit could watch boxing boxing is so fucked up man the scorecards the judging the referees

the commentators the shit that happens in the ring i mean like we have it good i would argue boxing is more corrupt than crossfit i mean box and it's just a mess hey dude one fight it was a fucking, it was for a world championship. They announced the wrong winner. And so the girl thought she lost, and she walked off. And then they brought them back, and then they announced the other girl. It was fucking crazy, dude. Heidi, at least there's money in boxing.

Yeah, shitloads. True. Billions, billions. Yeah Billions Shit loads of money Play Pedro's Then I'm going to go work in the yard Oh my goodness Do you know the rapper of the game? I think so.

Okay, here we go. Pedro White from Coffee Pods and Wads. This is his best work ever. This is absolutely amazing. Here we go. Start taking notes. This is gonna be good. Uh-oh, pause this. Hold on. Let me try to play this.

Let me try to play this. Let me see if mine runs more smoothly yeah Coffee pods this one this one this deserves some Let me see if mine plays You guys will you tell me if mine plays more smoothly than Caleb's I can't tell if this actually matters here we go Start taking notes. This is gonna be good. Everyone's all high and mighty about these box step ups.

Understandably so, yeah. So all we should do is leak semifinal workouts. Just two. Two. Of the normal ones. But all of the age group ones. We don't need to tailor self. That's good.

Can we really call it a leak? If it's just a constant? Make semi-final t-shirts. Oh, that's a good idea. I'll schedule a call with Gorok. No, no. Use northern spirit. Who? Exactly.

And make them big. Like really big. Massive. Colossal. them big, like really big, massive, colossal, and make them out of the same material that you would use to make a scuba suit. Heavy, hot, big. And get them to do the syndicate crown one with so many images on the back that your left eye has to have a fight with your right eye to decide what to look

at. Okay, we need to discuss games allocations. I'm assuming Oceania will lose a few spots. All the changes there Tia, Cara, Ellie No No, no, no, no, no, no Lose a few spots all the changes there Tia Cara Ellie no No, no, no, no Thing with Europe is

We'll take spots away And we'll give them to the weaker regions Whatever way you look at it you're in France don't let the coaches into the warm-up area now we do your copper after that one oh wait media passes make it really hard to get one. Don't give any out. Set print media. Give them one. Typey type.

Typey type. The typewriters. Tip tap, tip tap. Oh, clever. And the live stream is a one-stop shop for people who want to watch. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're looking at this all wrong. How many times,

what is our main focus no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no send Chase Ingram as a podcast. Okay. I mean, people like Chase Ingram. Do they? Do they? That's so good. I can't tell. There's so many nuances and so many stories that we know that I can't tell there's so many nuances and so many like, you know, like stories that we know that I can't tell how much other people like take from this.

How fucked up this is. It's there's levels to this game. That's for sure. There's definitely a lot of layers on that one. Holy shit, Pedro. Do they? I love pretend drunk Pedro. Yeah, he just told his eye to do what Hiller's eye does.

That's right. My God. And hey, you notice he never actually poured any alcohol in there. He's too cheap to actually use any. Right. That's too cheap to actually use any. Right. That's what I would do. God damn it, Pedro. You gotta save it. I'm going to show you my...

I should do a piece. I should have an... For every show, I should have Where's a Septim Ring? You know what I mean? Just find someone on the internet who's dumb as fuck with a septum ring. Do you know what NYU is doing? Israel, why are we protesting here? I wish I was more educated.

I'm not either. I came from Columbia. I was there off of Columbia, and we came down. They said NYU students needed our support. So I came down. I heard there's lots of cops. Some people were saying it was getting dangerous. And what would you say is the... So her reason for coming was to support other students.

She heard lots... There were lots of cops and it was getting dangerous. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Very valid. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Hey, dude, what's crazy? She's not even stupid. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she could talk. She talks good. Yeah, she talks good. she doesn't think good yeah un-fucking-believable

disappointing okay one more hold on this one's good too i think this one's good i don't even remember these are so old. I don't know. I don't even know if the phone's hooked up. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hello? Because you know how much overtime the NYPD is making off of this? Oh, so much. That's awesome. So much. Every single cop is working overtime. There's 40,000 cops. There's like 30,000 working at a time. He said he's going to ask these schools to foot the bill

for the overtime. Who said that? Mayor Adams. Oh, he ain't doing shit. He's a bitch. No, he did. He said it. He said it on Fox News in the morning. He was like, we cannot let this happen. We're going to ask the schools to pay for this overtime. It's fucking great time But he's a pussy dude

No he is But if he said it on live broadcast They're going to hold his feet to the fire They better fucking pay Yeah that's awesome Hey they should charge the pay I mean it's not the school's fault is it What can the school do

It's the school's fault because they let it happen there's rules there's rules to encampment on these school grounds you're not supposed to let this happen they let it get too far oh right so they should have called the cops right away and kicked them off or they should have man that's going to end up going to court because the cops should have the cops should have never listened to the schools in the first place they should have just brought out the water cannons and started spraying that shit down because technically the schools are private property do you guys have water cannons do you guys have water cannons yeah we got everything well the city's job has water cannons they got everything they had they brought this truck in and if you saw when they had to go into that hall they had this truck that goes over buildings and brings

the ladder into the building i've never even seen this thing before this thing is two stories high oh that's awesome i would love to operate a water cannon on a large group of people now all these liberals are crying i can't't have my graduation. Yeah. Good for you. Good for you. All right. Thank you. Yeah. Bye.

Bye. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye. Okay. Final clip. I mean it.

I mean it. I know you guys have better shit to do. Here we go. Online. So somehow he didn't know what i was standing for and not forcing vaccinations on people and um he said oh i said you didn't did you get the vaccine and he said yeah i got the vaccine i got the pfizer you know i need to be ready if you ever need me to come overseas i I was like, Anthony, I didn't get it.

And he was like, oh. And we joked around about it a little bit. And the next day he passed away. This Gina Carlo chick is the one she got fucking canceled at Disney because she wouldn't take the fucking vaccine. Right. She had a really good character in one of the Star Wars series, and then they just fucking booted her

in the middle of the season. So when people ask me if I would have done anything different, I would have done anything different, I would have screamed. I would have screamed so much louder. Screamed what? Everything I was saying from lockdowns to mass vaccines, question everything.

Do not allow these people to force this on you pay attention i would have screamed it so i'm not sorry i'm not sorry for what i said for what i posted for what i was standing for what I was standing for, what I was screaming for, or trying to scream for. Like, I'm not, sorry. He's not online, so somehow he didn't know what I was standing for and not forcing vaccinations on people. Her fucking best friend died

the day after getting the fucking vaccine. Yeah, it's fucked. Alright, guys. Sunday, Mother's Day have fun I guess I was just looking to schedule next week semi-final start I don't know how we're going to cover those because they're going to be in Europe tomorrow Josh Bridges is on

at 8.30 in the morning I haven't talked to Josh in forever that'll be cool alright oh and that'll be cool alright oh and it looks like there's a chance we might have Sarah Sigmund's daughter on Tuesday morning

so normally I don't do Tuesday morning show but that looks like I have to get confirmation that'd be cool But that looks like... I have to get confirmation. That'd be cool. Yeah, that would be cool. I love talking art.

Alright. Tell all your friends about Kill Taylor. Next week, Saturday, 9am Pacific Standard Time. I don't know how we're going to do it uh semi-finals in the west because i'll be working filming the behind the scenes i wonder if we can do it thursday this thursday oh shit i wonder if for two weeks in a row if we can do it on a thursday Thursday. I should, uh, let me call Taylor really quick and see what, what, what's going on here.

Can you hear that? Yeah. That's always a good sign. I'm on live, live, live on the air Live action What's up Hey dude

So Saturday I'm filming the behind the scenes Where Carson In the west In Carson Not this Saturday The following Saturday Yeah no shit

I'm gonna be there So what Are we going to be there. So are we going to do Kill Taylor on that Thursday? Yeah, Kill Taylor is going to be me sunning my butthole on the tennis stadium floor. And there's going to be a special twist to it, but nobody's going to be able to beat me at it this week. But I mean, so both semifinals weeks, can we do it on

thursday in the west because me and you are working and then in the east yeah because you're competing yeah we can definitely do on thursdays all right bitchin all right thank you hey hey what did you see and you probably didn't see my latest post for my sentinel training account no but i'll look all right well pull it up for me, dude. Give me a fucking solid. We are giving away, we're calling it the Sentinel Scholarship, and we're going to be giving away

a Level 1 certificate course. We're just going to do one for now, but then going forward, our goal is to give away several a year to people. We're proud to introduce a new initiative here at Sentinel Training, the Sentinel Scholarship. Starting this year, we will give one member of Sentinel Training a scholarship to a CrossFit Level 1 certificate course.

Oh, that's awesome. Why are you guys doing that? I don't know. I just thought it would be cool, and I really feel strongly that the Level 1 changed my life, and I want to be able to give that to other people. And I'm not presumptuous to say oh they can't afford it but you know you make it easier for somebody to change

your life you know people help me so just being able to help other people how will you choose the person by their skin color um it's not going to be a dei pick we already picked the the first recipient and they're not black so relax but they married a black dude i love the guy um i think we're gonna have like an application i picked the first listen kind of you said they're not black relax like i would have a problem with if it was someone who's yeah you would have a problem are you fucking kidding me how dare you listen dude i knew where that was going i have no problem with it being someone who's black i didn't want it to be someone who is gay no i'm joking no i'm joking no i'm joking no um we're just i don't i picked this person because um

not randomly but they reached out we're like hey we're interested in taking the level one in charlotte blah blah blah. I just had a long conversation with them. I know the person. I met them in Miami. They took some of my classes when I did the affiliate class for Waterpalooza.

But going forward, we'll have an application, and it's not going to be anything crazy, but we don't want to give it away to just some person who signed up for a month just to get a you know eleven hundred dollar free level one but you know we wanted to go to people who want it and we'll make use of it all right well i can't wait to get my sentinel rainbow shirt thank you oh you're welcome hey i'm gonna ship it right to you along with a mold of my cock. Thank you. Thank you.

Yep. You'll use that too, right? Hey, do you have Saturday's workout already made up? Yeah. And it's going to be so fucking hard. Do you really already have something? I do. Oh, I can't wait. Is anyone going to beat you? Is anyone going to beat you this week? No.

That's all. No one's going to have a fucking chance. Okay, good. We've got to build the pop back up. Yeah, I know. Do you know who the sponsor is this week? Who? I don't know.

Okay, I don't know. Do we already pay that guy oh i sent text out to i i the only person you know the only person so oh i oh i haven't heard back uh dale uh matuthian and doc spartan send their money on monday cory sends his money on monday and i haven't heard back from Vindicate yet. Let me see if Vindicate sent their money. Nope. Oh yeah, Vindicate sent their money. Sorry, my bad. So he should get it by Tuesday.

Sick. That part sucks, dude. I hate that part. What, paying people? Yeah, I had to send so many to, Oh, look at vindicate sending today. I had to send so many like text messages and asking people for stuff. I'm like,

I'm way too big time for that. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's secretarial work. Yeah. I hate that shit. I mean,

yeah. Lizzie, my wife says you can hire her Perfect She can go for the same amount I pay you Dude you're sick dude God you sound fucking horrible You're not even going to be ready for next week

Oh shut the fuck up I just did semi-final event 2 today and for all all you semi-final athletes listening you fucking pussies know that that was gonna be my first workout and it went so well this morning so i just want you fuckers to know you should be fucking quaking in your boots quaking terrified anyways i'm actually i i feel really good today because of how well that went okay i'm feeling myself feeling myself yeah okay good i like it all right all right love you all right love you too buddy bye he's gonna make you know how i know he loves me