The Sloppy Boys - 10. Fireball Holiday Nog
Episode Date: December 25, 2020A Booze News discovery takes center stage! The guys sample an eggless nog inspired by America's favorite cinnamon whiskey.The carton recommends adding Fireball Cinnamon Whisky "for a red hot kick," at... 2 parts nog, 1 part 'ball.Fireball Holiday Nog is available exclusively at Walmart. Check local store availability at walmart.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys
where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford
Hey, happy holidays
and Tim Kalpakis
The holidays
are here.
And we're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys.
All right.
Episode 10.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Merry Christmas.
Christmas Day.
Last episode of the year for us.
I can't believe it.
We've done 10.
10 all year long.
Wow.
It reminds me almost of that Pearl Jam album, 10.
Hmm.
I thought it was going to remind you of that Pearl Jam album,
Grunge Goes to the North Pole.
Yeah.
It does sort of because of the holiday thing.
I always forget that they did that album, Grunge Goes to the North Pole.
Do you guys see that Twisted Sister has a Christmas album?
Yes.
I think I listened to that on a different podcast.
Tony Thaxson's got a great podcast called Bizarre Albums
where he talks about cool albums.
Hey, Merry Christmas, Tony.
If you're listening, we love you, buddy.
Merry Christmas to you guys.
Merry Christmas to the listeners.
Happy holidays.
This is a special episode because this isn't a drink from the
outside world right we've been kind of just following a boring ass playbook and the listeners
noticed they don't like it and now what started as a little mere piece of booze news has now gone
prime time and it's taken over the it's a crossover almost like when you're like you know
you're watching tv and you're like they got hoda covering election night now yeah yeah for all you
for all you arborists out there it's the seed that grew into the mighty oak yes it's sort of
like you're enjoying the tracy allman show and like, well, that little animated family is funny.
The spiky haired boy in particular is
cut up.
And little did you know
the oak tree
that would sprout
from that
seed.
Yeah.
The Simpsons.
You know,
sort of the Simpsons
comes through the clouds.
Oh yeah,
when you do that sound
I feel like I'm
I can see it almost.
Those yellowy letters.
I wonder if I could, or if we all could, maybe we could do it now.
If we could say what the opening of The Simpsons is just from memory.
Well, it's boop, boop, boop, boop.
Right.
Boop, boop, boop, boop.
And then do, do, do, do, do, do.
We go see Homer first, I think. Yeah, he, boom. Right. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And then it goes through the clouds. Do, do, do, do, do, do. We go see Homer first, I think.
Yeah, he's working.
Yep.
He's not doing a very good job.
No, that was sort of a theme throughout the whole series.
He gets the glowing rod on his back,
or he leaves work.
The whistle blows, he leaves work.
Is this worth doing?
Probably not.
It's possible that the Simpsons animators are listening to this and they're fucked for this week.
They're like, we don't have an opening yet.
We forgot to storyboard, to hold on to the storyboards.
I lost that piece of paper that says what the opening is.
They had a little post-it that listed off a nuclear rod falls out of Homer's shirt.
A little crinkly wet post-it.
Well, do you guys want to get into...
Fireball.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hey, hey.
Is this Pitbull? Pitbull?
Pitbull.
Pitbull.
When we first brought up,
maybe it was in its first appearance on Booze News,
I was like, there's that song that goes Fireball. And then I thought it was in its first appearance on Booze News. I was like, there's that song that goes fireball.
And then I thought it was...
But that's Scatman.
That's beat up a bada boop.
But the rhythm is the same.
A friend of mine once told me that rhythm is a dancer,
but I can't...
Oh, come on.
Can't verify that.
What about this song that goes...
Fireball is in me. Oh, come on. Can't verify that. What about this song that goes, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, fireball, a fire bee, fireball.
Fireball is in me.
There's so many songs about fireball.
Can you play that drop again there, Jeff?
Oh, this one?
Fireball.
He's singing about the drink, right?
No, this is, well, this came out many years after the drink I found out. Damn. So, yeah, he's singing about the drink, right? No, this is... Well, this came out many years after the drink, I found out.
Damn.
So yeah, he's singing about the drink. Well, in the time of the drink.
In the year of the
drink. But I mean, that's great.
If you've got somebody who's
singing about your drink, keep it going.
I like
Pitbull. He's...
Just a worldwide.
The guy likes to party, right?
Yeah.
I just can't believe he gets into those...
How he squeezes into those damn suits.
I've never seen such a skinny suit.
He's a funny guy because he's like...
You know, he's not like a singer.
And does he rap?
I don't really know.
He doesn't have lyrics the way a...
He kind of is like a fast speak sing but yeah he's
a i mean he sort of blesses the track on its way out the door he's he's more of an energy that you
enjoy he's more of a vibe he just kind of says dale and stuff like that he kind of tosses a few
little things in there i think the first line in fireball is, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, I'm on fire.
Well, let's hear it.
I don't have it ready to go.
Well, okay.
No, I do.
I do have it.
What was that we were listening to?
I just made a little cue.
Oh, oh, oh.
Made a little cue.
It sounds like the Bond.
Hold on.
Yes, we're waiting.
You made a little cue.
It sounds like the
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids James Bond
crossover I'm writing.
Okay, yeah.
Not where I thought you were going to go.
Mr. Worldwide's
infinity. You know the roof on fire.
We go boogie, oogie, oogie, jiggle,
wiggle, and dance like the roof on fire.
We go drink drinks and take shots.
This is just like us. This is basically describing our lives.
I'm a fireball.
Was that Pitbull throughout the whole thing?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
So he does.
He's more of a rapper.
I've only kind of seen him as like a hype man.
Well, he's equally at home being a hype man.
Yes, yes, yes.
And I think he's better.
Also, that baby, baby stuff.
Yeah.
I couldn't do it.
Yeah, I could do it.
Oh, you could.
You're kind of like the hype man of the sloppy boys.
Yeah.
I know.
I was in a real grumpy mood and then hearing you go,
I'm a fireball.
I actually thought a motorcycle was pulling up outside.
So he says, I'm a fireball.
He's not saying I'm drinking the drink fireball.
I'm a glass of fireball.
What the hell? Guys, I'm'm getting i want to get to the
drink i'm excited let's get into the fireball i thought there was booze news to discuss
tim oh is this true let's just do this the quickest little booze news flash which was
i did find a good holiday spiked seltzer.
And it is this one.
Saranac came out with a spiked seltzer with holiday flavors.
And they're not weird like the Budweiser ones.
It's stuff like cranberry orange tort.
It's stuff like blackberry crumble apple crisp.
Look at that.
That's in a green beer bottle.
Good for them.
You know what's funny?
It's supposed to be in a green beer bottle. Good for them. You know what's funny? It's supposed to be in a clear glass bottle,
and then I opened the pack,
and there was a little note,
like, signed by the head of Saranac
that was like,
we had to use green bottles.
Really?
It was like, yeah,
we didn't have the,
we hope you understand,
but we only had the green.
Well, we wouldn't know what it is,
so why did you tell us?
Yeah, I know.
I shouldn't have fucking.
We were supposed to make it taste better.
So if you're weirded out by the peppermint patty
and all the weird shit in the Bud Light seltzers,
these ones, they just hit you hard with a nice tart fruit taste.
They say crumble, they say crisp, but they don't taste like dough.
I had such a tough time getting rid of those,
the rest of that 12-pack.
Yeah, I think I dumped them.
Not me, I drank it right down. Well, not the cranberries.
Cranberries are good. Cranberries can
stay. I almost wonder if they
would mix with anything. Hmm.
For another time, I guess.
Maybe next year. Maybe next
year we'll mix the sweater pack.
We mix
the four cans together and
it's delicious. It tastes
like shit.
Okay.
So this drink that we're having is called Fireball Holiday Nog.
So I'm curious if it's not so eggy or does egg just not test well.
We're going to mix it.
One Fireball Whiskey to two parts Fireball Nog.
Great.
We can also do little separate tastes to see how those things taste
separately. Oh, the fireball eggnog is
spicy.
Yeah, or like, you know, it's got that cinnamon red
hot fireball flavor to it.
Then they want you to add fireball to it.
That's going to be so cinnamony.
Yeah, it might be overpowering. That's why I got a regular
nog, and I'm going to do a side-by-side.
Oh, good. Very smart
because, let's be honest they didn't
really think this thing out they said hey fireball nog it's flavored like fireball and then they when
they said add fireball i think they were just it was a consolation prize yeah i'm over here like
what yeah i'm over here like shingle says what i i still haven't seen that commercial, by the way. You have to watch more broadcast.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I got the rabbit ears out.
I should be watching more broadcast.
I didn't know it was going to be Fireball-like flavored.
I thought it was just like Fireball brand made a regular eggnog.
I was going to nutshell you guys a little bit of the backstory on
how this beverage came to be.
Would you like to hear that? Yes, of course.
Yes, yes, I would. Fireball
started in the 80s in
a little country called Canada.
Yes, the neighbor to the
north? Yeah,
home of Drake.
And basically Seagram's,
which is the company of the NXium bronfman sisters by the way
seagrams had this they came out with the cinnamon schnapps innocent cinnamon schnapps who cares not
a big deal nobody's making a big fuss about that and for and it was sort of like yeah take this
it's a hot shot for the winter and it's called dr mcgillicuddy's fireball whiskey
it had a little cold following up in the
cold parts of canada but no one gave a flying fuck really and then seagram's in 1989 they sell it off
to the sazerac company which is based in new orleans they're another big conglomerate
and they do nothing with it they just hey we got this mcgillicuddy shit sit on their asses so you're telling me
seagram said to their they said bye bitch yeah uh they're like boy bye boy bye yeah yeah bye boy
and then the c the sazerac company was like hello bitch boy hello bitch boy come here and we'll make
you into a drink decades past no one gives a fuck it's a little culty drink. And then in 2007, that company, they say, we got to do something with this shit.
So they rebrand, they rename it.
They get rid of McGillicuddy.
They say Fireball Whiskey.
They give it the new look with that little dancing devil on the bottle.
And here's the big thing they do.
They send a PR rep out to Nashville to buy a bunch of young people shots.
And it works.
It starts to catch on.
So then they send this guy out to college towns across America to run drink promos.
And slowly between 2007,
2000 up to 11,
this becomes the biggest fucking end of the night weirdo shot.
They call it a challenge shot.
It's it eventually surpassed Jaeger meister is the biggest challenge
shot meaning what's the challenge shot i think it's like a bonding thing at the end of the night
we're doing uh everybody has to do a jaeger oh the challenge is like if you don't puke
yeah and for context guys the pit bull uh song came out in 2014 there you go 2014 is like when
they really took off that's when they blast in the stratosphere
at that point they beat jameson patrone even cuervo was outsold in 2014 by fireball favorite
cuervo so this fucking drink got really big in the college towns but then here's a little thing
i pieced together um now we're thinking we're thinking about nog you guys ever buy any egg
nog from grocery stores
it's usually just like local brands or whatever there's not even a weird little carton most of
the time yeah it's like uh whatever your local milk company is will make you some nog but there
in the past five years there's been southern comfort eggnog i saw that yeah i saw that in my
adventures i mean too i've never had it but it it like does really well
and it's it's highly rated among like foodies and stuff and people like and it's doing it's
just regular eggnog it's like not a it's just regular eggnog but it is flavored like soka
uh-huh ragnog oh it's flavored like so okay see i i there's a lot of exotic ones that i saw and
some had alcohol in them at the grocery store but i said no give me just like a solid organic regular eggnog regnog yeah you want to go down the middle but um here's
the thing i was looking at that soco shit and i said who makes this and guess who makes it
the fucking sazerak company so what they said is this this year they, people are loving our SoCo shit, but we also got Fireball.
So Christmas 2020,
we're going to make a podcaster's cream dream.
We're doing more Nog.
We're doing more Nog.
So that's what it is.
You had the hit schnapps,
you had the hit Nog,
and they came together.
Nice.
Woo.
Woo.
You know what's funny?
You were talking about
they sent representatives
to tell people in Nashville about it.
Do you guys remember
we were in LA once
early on in our...
Yeah, I know what you're going to say.
And there was...
We were at a bar.
We were at a piano bar
on like Century...
City Walk.
And there was like an alcohol rep.
I cannot remember.
I think it was a beer.
I can't remember exactly.
And they were giving him out, I think. And Tim, I think, was like, oh rep. I cannot remember. I think it was a beer. I can't remember exactly. And they were giving them out, I think.
And Tim, I think, was like, oh, I'm driving tonight.
And the lady was like, oh, that doesn't matter.
I don't care if you're drinking.
Just buy this thing.
I don't care if you die.
I don't know.
I've also seen they'll enlist pretty girls to come up to you like as a civilian right right right and be
like hey buy us some jaeger shots and then it slowly comes out that they're like from jaeger
yeah yeah these people were definitely like dressed in in the beer i think it was bush
weirdly enough they were they were making no uh no secret about it i had that kind of job one time i
used to have to um uh hang around at a
restaurant and i would walk up to you know like a woman and be like hey want to buy me a bowl of
chunky fucking chili just as a marketing move that's what they thought would help yeah she was
like you've had enough the problem was it wasn't any one branded chili.
It wasn't Campbell's or Progresso.
It was just for the industry as a whole.
I brought my own Hormel.
You ever go to a restaurant and bring your own can of Hormel chili and say,
I love the menu.
I love that you guys are doing this, but could you just cook this up for me?
I'm just here to enjoy the ambiance.
And I want to buy that little guy over there a chili of his own.
Yeah, I've eaten dinner with you, Mike.
You're sending chilies all over. Hey, send that
couple of bowls of chili.
On me! Hey, the next round of chili's
on me, everybody.
Well, what do you guys say?
Fire it all.
How could we not? Let's go
make this thing.
Are you putting ice in yours?
Yes, I like my creamy drinks on the rocks, I've learned.
All right.
All right, we're going to take a little break,
and when we come back, we'll be talking Fireball Holiday Nog.
Fireball.
Hey, folks, we're back talking fireball holiday nog.
I can't believe it.
It's finally happening.
It's happening.
It's a Christmas miracle.
I almost have the feeling where now that the moment's here, I'm too nervous.
I'm chickening out.
I don't want to unwrap the present.
Same time.
Same time.
Guys, I'm hopping off the pod.
You finish without me.
Here we go.
Okay.
Oh, so wait.
And also, so Mike, you got normal dog, right?
Oh yeah.
We haven't talked about that.
We'll break it down after first sips.
Oh yeah.
Sorry.
Here we go.
Pow!
Zing!
Yeah.
Zouch!
That's that fireball flavor you want.
Mmm.
Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting stuff.
Well, who wants to speak first?
All right, let me talk about my boring eggnog first.
So I just got regular eggnog in here and the fireball shot.
And I was in Massachusetts, and I was trying to find a Walmart
that sold the damn stuff.
I went to a Walmart
and I mentioned Fireball to people there,
Fireball Eggnog,
and they looked at me like I was asking for
something else.
Nobody knew.
Some other type of Fireball cream drink.
That's like asking for a Yankees cap.
Yeah. No, then I was like, Type of fireball cream drink. That's like asking for a Yankees cab.
Yeah.
No, then I was like, oh, I just assumed it was going to be here.
And they're like, nope, don't know anything about it. And I don't want to talk to you anymore.
I went back out in my car and called a couple other Walmarts in the area.
And they all either didn't have it stocked, were out of it, or had not heard of it.
Folks, call your local Walmart.
I was so confused. I was like, I just of it, or had not heard of it. Folks, call your local Walmart. I was so confused.
I was like, I just thought Walmart's had all the same stuff.
Did you use the online locator I sent you?
Yeah, well, the online locator.
No, I didn't use that.
And also, it was sold out online.
So everybody scratch everything Mike just said and use the online.
It's not an online ordering thing.
I sent you a link for which stores have it in stock, and it'll flat out say it. You sent that to me for the online. It's not an online ordering thing. I sent you a link for which stores have it in stock
and it'll flat out say.
You sent that to me for the sweater,
the ugly sweater thing.
Did you send one for this?
Yeah.
Fuck me.
He's got all the locators, Mike.
Well, it was very helpful to me.
It told me that the Burbank Walmart did not have it.
It told me that the Rosemead Walmart did have it.
You see, I like to go out.
I like to find these things out by myself,
by really getting in there
and meeting the people who have no idea what I'm talking about.
Yeah, and going home without the thing you wanted to buy.
Yeah, and driving all around and wasting my own damn time.
Well, Mike, I bet you got the superior drink in your hand, my man.
This is pretty good.
Well, Mike, I bet you got the superior drink in your hand, my man. This is pretty good.
I also, the girlfriend had some nutmeg, real nutmeg nuts, and she microplaned a little bit onto it.
Nutmeg nuts?
Are you telling me a nutmeg comes from a nut?
Yeah, it's a nutmeg.
It's a Meg nut.
Meg from Family Guy?
Mm-hmm.
Ah, jeez, Meg.
Yeah, what about Crab?
So how is yours?
How is yours?
My boring little eggnog is pretty good.
Tim, go ahead.
Well, as one might have predicted months ago when we first heard about this drink,
I've got in front of me my cocktail version that has the fireball in the fireball nog.
And then I've just got some plain fireball nog,
the nog as itself,
just straight out of the carton.
Delicious egg.
Noggy tastes like fireball.
It's great.
It does.
So it does taste cinnamon.
Oh yeah.
It's exact.
It's not just cinnamon.
It's that exact fireball type of cinnamon and the plain stuff is delicious now this one over here i made it on the
rocks and i just i can't fathom someone needing that much of that taste yes like who it's funny
because fireball it has this fun party reputation.
And I think it's fun to get shots at the end of the night and stuff,
but we're talking about cinnamon sugar.
It's not cool to just have like as a shot,
as a quick pop fine,
but you wouldn't take that taste and say,
Hey,
we're going to make this larger and like thick and
milky. And you're going to sit with it for a while. That's not what you want out of the whole
point of fireball is to shoot it back fast and have it burn your throat. And you're like, Hey,
we did it. But this is just sippy, creamy, milky. See, I like a fireball shot. I think it tastes
good. Sure. But like, you don't, would you drink like a glass of fireball on ice?
No, but it's, it's funny that it's like a challenge shot.
Like, oh my God, you're going to do this?
Like I, uh, yes, yes, do it.
No, they're delicious.
I don't think it's challenges.
They're not challenging.
It's not challenging a bad way.
It's more just like a novelty shot, you know?
Right.
And I bet you, you know, when you're at college campuses back in 2000
or whenever they did this,
that's what you should say.
You should be like, challenge shot, it's fireball.
So everybody's like nervous
and then they try it and they like it.
Yeah.
And it's like the challenge is to do a shot.
Like we're doing shots.
Do you want to do a shot?
Not the challenge is like, it tastes bad.
It tastes like shit.
Can you handle the heat?
I hope they said that.
This reminds me of like,
if you saw someone eating the candy,
a little red atomic fireball popped in their mouth
and then you went up to them and you're like,
oh, you know what you should do
is just have another one of those in your mouth also.
I have an alternative drink here too.
A sidecar.
Now, what do you got there?
This is normal eggnog with the fireball in it. A sidecar. Now what do you got there? This is normal
eggnog with the fireball
in it. Two to one.
Same ratio.
Even it is too strong of a fireball.
As we speak, I'm going to
add a little more nog and I think it might be
exactly what I'm looking for.
Now I have made a claim on this
show that I am not an eggnog fan.
I do not... You're well on record with that. I do not a claim on this show that I am not an eggnog fan. I do not.
You're well on record with that.
I do not enjoy it on its own.
I think it's kind of a funky taste, but this is good to me.
I,
I think this,
remember the Brandy Alexander,
we were like,
Oh,
it's kind of like a milkshake or John Lennon called it a milkshake.
This does taste like a flavored milkshake,
like a cinnamony milkshake to me.
Oh,
that's good.
It's so good
my tweaked version i've had some nogs that are like very egg forward like the other day i got
this pennsylvania dutch spiked eggnog that was really really good but it was eggy it was like
an omelet um this uh i also have an alternate beverage up my sleeve here. Oh, shit. And I did, Jeff, I did the opposite move where I took some fireball eggnog and I mixed it two to one with normal ass whiskey.
Really?
Ah, there you go.
I have some Canadian club blended whiskey and this is so, so much better.
That's interesting.
Probably what you should do.
The nog tastes fireball-y, but then I'm just having a good, good tasting whiskey.
And, you know, pound for pound, the flavor in an eggnog is lighter than the flavor in the liqueur.
Right.
So if you were going to pick one to be fireball flavored, get the fireball eggnog and put some normal whiskey in it fireball
is a thing that some people avoid drinking i think fireball i saw online that it it has an
ingredient in it that is also an ingredient in antifreeze like in like engine coolant and stuff
like that makes sense it's fire it's yeah otherwise it would burst i wonder if that's what they were
like if like jokingly the guys who were coming up with I wonder if that's what they were like, if, like, jokingly, the guys who were coming up
with the name for Fireball,
and they were, like, changing the name from McGinty's,
if they were like, hey, yeah, it's Fireball.
That's funny, because it's antifreeze.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Roll with it.
I think you cracked the case.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
And even if I did, who cares?
I could have cracked it wide open. I don't know. And even if I did, who cares? I could have cracked it wide open. I don't know.
You're so kind of modest. Like a lot of people would just sort of linger on that and then like
pat themselves on the back forever. But you're just kind of onto the next thing.
Doesn't matter to me. I don't care. I don't need a key to the city or anything.
What I'll say about eggnog is I'm thinking back to like why I don't like it.
I think I had it as a kid
and it was like a real like thick
Yeah.
Whatever.
And it came in like a purple carton.
I can just like picture it.
The hood.
And I just remember like,
yeah, maybe it was the hood
with like the
kind of like an S on it.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Like the design of it.
The design of it was an S.
Hood is a brand of dairy on the East Coast.
Yes, yes, yes.
And yeah, that's always just stuck with me.
I've had some Nog's like this one I do enjoy,
but maybe it's just because of the Fireball.
I have a similar thing.
You said that you don't
like it because you had it when you were a kid.
I have that with baby food where I sort of –
when I was a kid, I think I had some Gerber.
Yeah.
And like I just – it just kind of soured me on it.
So like now I don't know what it is.
I'm 37, but like if I try to eat like any of the Gerber products.
Yeah, the peas.
It's just – I don't love it.
Like these carrots are just like mush.
Well, I used to have that with diapers too.
I was like, I kind of outgrew that, but I'm getting back into it.
You're trying to?
Yeah.
Crap, my pants.
I'm telling you, this normal whiskey one is real good.
Yeah, what's Club Canadian?
Or Canadian Club, what's it called?
Well, I bought it, it's called Canadian Club.
And I bought it because It's called Canadian Club.
And I bought it because I saw Don Draper drinking it.
And it's a mid-shelf, nice, cheap blended whiskey.
A Canadian blended whiskey.
Tim, you know he's a fictional character, right?
Yeah, but hey, I think that I'm kind of like the real version of him.
You know what's funny?, he was an ad man. If you've never seen the show, you must know, you probably know he's an ad man.
Sure.
Well, you guys, you know how I've sort of been railing against corporations on and off?
Yes.
On and off, yeah, yeah.
It's just every once in a while I'll bring up corporations,
and it's awful what they're doing to the holiday. They're're making it so it's a money grab for a lot of these people
it's crazy it's it really makes me drives me nuts well the latest thing that's really stuck in my
craw have you seen have you heard about this garth brooke or maybe you heard it this garth brooks
uh people put a country album out this year a new one okay no put a country album out this year. A new one. Okay. No, he put a country.
So, so like when you said Garth Brooks, I was like, oh, he probably put in another Chris
Gaines album, but no, no, no, no, no.
Chris Gaines is nowhere to be found on this album.
I don't think, uh, Garth Brooks did.
And one of the songs, I brought one of the songs here with me and it's just like, how
commercial can we get?
Oh, oh yeah.
It's an ad. It's a, it's crazy. I mean, some of it doesn't even make, you'll see, it's just like how commercial can we get oh oh yeah it's an ad it's it's great i mean
some of it doesn't even make you'll see it's just wild all right here we go
pringle sells pringle sells chips in a long can you can buy chips in a bag, but they will be from Lays.
Cheetos come in bags.
So do pretzel sticks.
Another thing that comes in bags is Cheetos Fritos mix.
Oh, Pringles sells, Pringles sells chips in a
long tube.
You can stick it up
your ass, but that would be
quite rude. Oh,
Pringles sells,
Pringles sells chips
in a long tube.
You could stick it
up your ass, but you
would need some lube.
What the fuck is that?
Shameless.
That is so corporate.
How could he do that?
What is he talking about at the end with where the thing can go?
I know.
If they're trying to sell us Pringles, they don't need to take these sidetracks.
Right. And they're selling Pringles when we're talking about what things come in bags.
And like most everything comes in a bag. We know that.
I know.
We know that.
Who cares? Who cares?
far gone we are with neo-capitalism is like,
not only are they plugging the product they're trying to sell,
but they're also just giving us frivolous information about other products and they're carrying devices.
And I don't even know if Fritos Cheetos mix exists.
I don't even know what that is.
Yeah.
Right.
I know.
I don't like that.
And,
and,
and Darth Brooks knows better.
He knows better.
And it almost sounds like he wrote the lyric like tube and then had to rhyme
it was something so he just sort of made something up yeah it is almost like that and he went online
and found on rhyme dictionary that like tube and there's not many things that rhyme with tube it's
so weird the thing with that song is like i hate it jeff hates it but i can't even imagine what
that's like for you who's been railing against corporations.
It's awful.
I hate corporations.
I hate these money grabs.
Also, Pringles sells.
Like, how many S's do we need to get in a row?
Pringles sells.
Yeah.
It's not good.
Awful.
I mean, I'm not the biggest country fan.
I like a lot of Garth Brooks old stuff,
even some of the Chris Gaines stuff.
But this is a low point in the man's career. Well, what lot of Garth Brooks old stuff, even some of the Chris Gaines stuff, but this is a
low point in the man's career.
Well, what do you give it out of 10?
What do I give it out of 10?
Yeah, man. That heap of
garbage? What do I
give that heap of garbage
out of 10? Uh-huh. A fucking
negative 8. Holy shit.
Yeah. Pisses
me off. That's probably the lowest rating
a song's ever gotten on this pod.
It's probably the only song that's
been rated on the pod.
I feel like you let your
anti-capitalism views
create bias and you gave it
an extra low score. Well, yeah,
maybe. It is definitely ruining my
holiday season. You're having
no fun. You're not happy to see your family or anything like that?
No, no. No. Do not like it.
It does get in your head, though. Pringles sells.
Pringles sells. Chips in a long tube.
It's pretty good.
I kind of come around. It actually nothing I really kind of think as a commercial jingle
it's flawless
but as a piece of
Christmas music art
it is whack
it's in poor taste
but you know
it's kind of like
hey spot the lie
everything he says
is
it's gospel truth man
yeah
true
he could be kind of
doing a thing too
that's almost scathing
like oh
Pringle sells Pringle sells like maybe he has an axe to grind yeah maybe True. He could be kind of doing a thing, too, that's almost scathing, like, oh, Pringles sells, Pringles sells.
Like, maybe he has an axe to grind.
Yeah, maybe.
I just wonder who's footing the bill for this album that he made.
I guarantee it's us, John Q Public.
Yeah, your tax dollars at work, folks.
Yep.
He got a government loan to make his new Christmas albums to sell you Pringles.
Congratulations. The fucking machine works just fine.
We'll be right back.
Hey, folks, we're back here with our final thoughts on Fireball.
That's good.
I gotta say, this is worth checking out, but don't mix Fireball with Fireball.
Do anything but that and you'll have an okay time.
It sounds like it's the type of thing like the ugly sweater,
the Bud Seltzer ugly sweater pack that's, yeah, have it.
Get a group of friends together, socially distance,
and say, we're going to try this funny drink.
We're not going to drink them all night,
and we'll probably never have them again, but let's have some fun.
I would even go as far as, you said socially distance.
I would say get some friends together, maybe at like five and a half feet oh tam just you gotta you gotta ride the line don't you well i got a few fireballs in me yeah i think that um hey if your local walmart
happens to have this fireball eggnog buy it drink it straight or put some normal whiskey in it
don't go bellyaching over
feeling like you got to do the fireball in the fireball get normal nog with fireball or fireball
nog with normal whiskey and call it a night fireball in regular eggnog not bad it's a hit
not bad and uh i gotta say oh i've said it before on the pod. My association with Fireball is like college kid shots.
So it's taken on a new life here as this sentimental, creamy, nasty drink.
Creamsicle.
Even though it is creamy and holiday, it still does.
When I taste that, it does make me think of like last call at a wacky
bar. So it's kind of funny if you're sitting around with your family, looking at the tree
and you're drinking this and you kind of got a little, just a little pit bull in you. Yeah.
And you're like, Hey dad, Hey dad. Fire it all. Next thing you know, your dad's got his shirt off.
Mom is up on the bar dancing. Wow.
And Pitbull comes down the chimney.
Then mom is making out with dad.
You know, dad is going to get a little roused. And you and Pitbull are taking pictures on your brand new iPhone.
That's right.
Under the tree.
A bunch of iPhone 13s for y'all.
This is a good song.
Well, that might be my new favorite Christmas song.
Me too.
Fireball eggnog.
It might even dethrone the previous Queen of Christmas.
Ooh.
Oh.
Mariah Carey.
Everybody knows that opening ding dong.
Yep.
All I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey.
All I want for Christmas is Scrooge to have a good time.
Did you guys see that video that breaks down the chords for that song?
And like why one of the chords is so Christmassy?
It's like a weird, that weird minor jazzy chord.
I love that chord.
Which chord is it in the, in the song, in the progress?
I'm Googling Mariah Carey Christmas Chord.
Ah, yes. I'm googling Mariah Carey Christmas Chord. Ah yes, it's a Vox video called
The Secret Chord That Makes Christmas Music Sound So Christmassy.
The Noel Note.
Anyway, that's a cool video. Check it out.
But today, here on the pod,
I'm going to see if any of the three of us has what it takes
to hit Mariah's high notes.
Oh!
That's not easy to do. It's not really a Oh. That's not easy to do.
It's not really a quiz.
It's more of a contest.
It's a challenge shot.
It's a challenge shot.
Here we go.
Do me, so me, do me, so me.
I'm sorry, just working on warming up here.
Elephants flying around.
I think just drinking this nog is going to warm me up enough.
Yeah, it's good for the vocal cords to get a little nog on there.
I'm ready.
Some buttery nog.
A solo meal.
Let me tell you something about Mariah Carey.
Me and Jessica saw her in Vegas, doing her Vegas residency last February.
It was my last outing before COVID, really.
The last public event I probably attended.
Your last public appearance?
Yeah.
I got to pay the paparazzi a thousand bucks to get those shots of you.
All right.
So today on the pod challenge, we're trying to hit the high note.
All I want for Christmas is you.
That big you. Okay.
Here it is as an excerpt
from the song.
That's up there. I can
hit that. Me too.
I can hit that.
Michael, you're up, baby.
Here we go.
Let me take a sip of nog.
And you know, there's plenty of warm up.
She does a little vamping.
You can do what you want.
It's not going to earn you any points.
The points come down to do you hit the note.
And you got to sing it loud because otherwise.
What are you doing?
Like, you know, you can hit high notes and you're like.
Yeah.
How else will I embarrass myself in front of my apartment
mates?
I'm going to
give you the backing track so we know you're hitting the note.
Okay, good.
Here we go. Michael, you're up.
Baby, all I want
for Christmas
is
you. Yeah! Christmas is...
Yeah!
Yeah!
Come on!
Come on!
Keep it going, Jim!
Come on!
He's still got more left in him.
I think he kind of did it.
I mean, it broke up on the Zoom,
but it sounded like he got it.
You blew out my earbuds, but... I think I got it.
I felt like when Mariah was running out of stamina, you were still just getting started.
That's right.
Running circles around her, poor girl.
Running circles.
There's a new queen of Christmas, Mariah.
Timothy, you're up.
I'm going to go for it.
And if there's any Grammy voters listening uh keep this in mind
here we go
yeah baby yeah
that was the note
Tim you nailed it man
let me tell you something about notes
it's whether or not you hit it
it's not about if the voice
is you know
the quality of the voice while it's hitting it
it's the note
the note's the note
okay here comes Jeffy the quality of the voice while it's hitting it. It's the note. The note's the note.
Okay.
Here comes Jeffy. All I want for Christmas is you.
Keep it going.
You, baby.
I wish Mariah did that more.
It was sort of like run out of air and then take a deep breath
and then just continue the word.
Excuse me.
That's a good challenge for you people at home.
Try that out with whoever you got around.
It kills the
time on this covid christmas yeah you're kind of just blowing air all across the room with your
with that big note i instantly when i was singing my note right away or like my neighbors stirring
like across the next driveway i could hear like dogs getting grumpy and people like turning lights
on and then like garbage is getting flipped over.
I heard my neighbor through the wall.
I heard him go, geez, he's got it.
That boy.
Well, I don't think it's fair for us to determine a winner here on the pod.
We're going to leave it to you at home.
Yeah, let us know what you think.
We'll put up a poll on social media.
People can vote who hit the note.
It's kind of like a whodunit, but it's a who hit it.
Who hit it?
Okay, that's the note. It's kind of like a whodunit, but it's a who hit it. Who hit it. Okay, that's the challenge.
Now it's time for some mail.
Mark asks,
Hey Sloppy Boys, so all us Slopheads
know that you're famously here for the beer,
but if you could have only one
type or brand or varietal of
beer for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Thanks, Mark.
Ooh, varietal. I like that, Mark.
This guy knows his stuff. Unfortunately here, the answer is probably like the least interesting
beer is my answer. I would go with maybe like a Pabst or Tecate, something that is just going
to be like a Swiss army knife of beer. I'm a Budweiser. It's my favorite, but it's also not
like crazy. Bud heavy. Bud heavy. Because if's my favorite, but it's also not like crazy.
Bud heavy.
Bud heavy.
Because if you're going to drink it for the rest of your life, you need a blank canvas.
If you're like, I'm going to have a Flemish sour for the rest of my life, it's no good.
Then you're playing beer pong with it.
No, I would go playing too.
I really like Yingling.
You can't get it out here in California.
And I like a good Yingling.
I like Molson Export.
Is that the one with the ship on the label?
Yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah, it's Rick.
Actually, if you had to ask me, gun to my head right now,
which I guess he's doing.
Yeah, basically.
He had a little gun emoji in the email.
Miller High Life.
Wow. Hey, that's a good gun emoji in the email. Miller High Life. Wow.
Hey, that's a good one.
Damn, dude.
Comes with a cool can or cool bottle.
Good for you, Jeff.
That's good.
Thanks, man.
So we're all, the answer as far as varietals, we're loggerheads.
We all like logger.
Mm-hmm.
Goes down easy.
Superior drinkability.
Comes up fast.
We're logged in.
Log in now
for more lager on sloppyboys.com.
How do you get buzzed?
Yeah, let
us know. How do you get buzzed?
If you got a question for the boys,
email us at the sloppyboyspodcast
at gmail.com.
If you got a question for the boys,
buzz them online.
How do you reply all?
Like logger, log into your email and ask the sloppy boys.
Like logger and don't need the mess.
What mess?
Before we close the show, I had one thing that I wanted to say,
which was the topic of Don Draper came up at one point.
And I want to encourage everyone to go to the Don Draper
hashtag on Instagram and scroll because lots of times when a man dresses up in a nice suit
for a wedding or a job interview, he will do hashtag Don Draper. And it's,
you'll see a lot of guys that look nothing like Don Draper using the Don Draper hashtag.
Because it's like, hey, look, I went to Gentleman's Warehouse and I'm feeling kind of good.
That's our show.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time.
Also, be sure to check out our Patreon, where subscribers can unlock The Sloppy Boys blowout, a weekly bonus episode. That's patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys. Thanks for
listening. We'll see you next week. Happy holidays to all and to all a good fall.
And tell your loved ones you love them. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys
Give it up for your boys
Give it up for your boys