The Sloppy Boys - 100. Martini

Episode Date: September 16, 2022

The guys celebrate their 100th episode with a famous favorite, the quintessential cocktail of the Roaring Twenties.DRY MARTINI RECIPE2oz/60ml Gin10z/30ml Dry VermouthPour all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice cubes. Stir well. Strain into chilled martini cocktail glass. Squeeze oil from lemon peel onto the drink, or garnish with green olives if requested.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Michael Hanford. No, I still haven't seen the Amazon Lord of the Rings show. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up, matey? It's talk like a pirate day this week. Oh, shit.

Can you believe it? We caught it. This is the week. On episode 100? On episode 100. We've been wanting to say R-Matey for two years. R-Matey. Did we miss it last year? We missed it both years, and we always apologize after the fact. But this year, baby, this episode drops on Friday,

and Talk Like a Pirate Day is Tuesday. I don't even know what to say. I've been looking forward to this. Yar. Yeah, where's me gold, matey? Shiver me timbers. So this has been fun. This is good.

Kind of a special week. I was hoping this wouldn't line up because I don't really want to talk like I'm fired. I know. I don't want to do that. It's one of those things you put it on a pedestal too much and then finally it comes around.

I don't want it to overshadow the whole 100 thing. Right. Yes. Let's not worry about it being talk like a pirate day. Let's say 100 is the main thing, matey. Yes. Let's not worry about it being pirate talk, talk like a pirate day. Let's say 100 is the main thing, matey. Yeah.

100 doubloons? No, 100 episodes, matey. And we're not having my favorite rum. We're having a pirate's martini. I'm kind of doing an Irish thing. A pirate's martini. I'll have a pirate's martini. I'm kind of doing an Irish thing. A pirate's martini. I'll have a pirate's martini. Hey, now, wait a minute.

I'm also kind of talking like someone from Lord of the Rings. I thought you hadn't seen... I know, but from the movies. It's just on my brain. I know it's out there, and I want to watch it. You shall not pass. Yeah, that's good. Gandalf.

That could be... Gandalf, Hobbiton, the whole... One does not simply... You know the meme. Yeah. Protobagons. What is it? Walk into Mordor, Steph?

Yeah. Yes. We've got a guest. Yeah. I guess... We have an off mic guest. Wait, wait. We should keep the guests silent until we bring up what the guest is here for.

Let's bring up the thing. Well, let's bring up the thing and then we'll get into booze news. Yeah, perfect. As promised, folks, today is the day. Also, hold on a second. I don't want to say keep the guests silent. That's not what I'm all about. Keep the guests talking.

Silence! Keep her silenced until we say. Today is the day we do a little. Oh, God. Since I listen to the podcast when I edit it, I hear myself speak a lot. And I say to myself, Jeff. You say like too much. I don't like how much I say the word like as a verbal crutch.

Yeah, I don't like it either. But see, that would be okay. I know. So that's the caveat. You can say like the quote-unquote valley girl like yes the uh vocal crutch like and uh in order to in order to uh push myself out of such a bad habit i ordered a dog collar here it says pat pet that that looks menacing that's not wait do those two nodes go on your Adam's apple?

Yeah, so it's got two nubs. Oh. Yeah. And they don't go on your... I was going to put it on my leg. I wouldn't put that on your neck. No, you'd put it on your neck. Neck?

That's where it goes. That's where it goes. I didn't come all the way here to podcast. Maybe the back of the neck. Hey, did we mention that we're all in the same room? We're all in the same room. They know know they can tell because of the crackling chemistry Yeah So I needed an impartial

Zapper Somebody who actually doesn't want to hurt me right Steph You can talk We can pick it up So Wait neck it's gotta go on the neck It's what it's made to do. Put it on your neck, your back, your pussy, and your crack.

Jeff is zapping himself. Here's the remote. That thing is like, hold on a second, that's even to put on dogs feels like a lot. But it's for any size dog, even a small dog. That would weigh down a chihuahua's head. Yeah, that's true. It's about the size of, hmm, half a hockey puck cut in half. Yeah.

And they tell you, like, don't just go nuts zapping your dog. You have... They tell you that? They do. They say, like, you can ramp it up. Just sort of like... You got the sound. That can be irritating.

That can stop a dog in its tracks. Oh. From barking or whatever behavior. You got the vibrate. Okay. That's supposed barking or whatever behavior. You got the vibrate. Okay. That's supposed to dissuade. And then you have the... Yeah.

And you can dial it up or down. Dial it up to the max, baby. Let him fry. Max on the neck? You fry this guy. Steph, that's also cool that you can like... Oh, maybe this one's

going to be a beep. Oh, maybe this is a vib you can like, oh, maybe this one's going to be a beep. Ooh, maybe this is a vibrate. No, no, no, no, no, no. That would, that's fucked up. Turn Jeff into like a little shaking shell by the end of this. Okay, I'll see if I can put it on the neck. Yeah, and put the two nodes right on the Adam's apple. No, not the fucking Adam's apple.

I'm not like a guy who's like a mean guy, but it just feels like that's what this thing is for. It has the look. I feel like he's going to get shocked once in the Adam's apple and never speak for the rest of his life. That's true. I'm worried. I'm worried about what's going to happen here.

Alright. You'll have to talk in drops. I had fit it to my leg, so now I have to adjust the collar Fit it and quit it Okay so while Jeff's Sizing it up around his neck We just want to say thank you for

Listening to all 100 episodes of the Sloppy Boys Podcast We couldn't do it without you And we need you and we love you Yes pour yourself up Pour yourself up Old fashioned Yes oh and Listen to the Patreon episodes pour yourself up a hurry up Jeff pour yourself up a old fashioned plug the Patreon yes

oh and listen to the Patreon episodes you gotta be a member too hmm be a member become a member become a member well hey

why don't we get into a little booze news while I do this is that it's time for our 100th booze that's not true

because we started booze news a few months into the show. Call it 100. Let's call it 100. Hit it. Mietus. Mietus.

See, some people like the Mietus. I like the Lietus. Yes. Yep. I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby. That is a banger of a song. Where'd that come up? Maybe at a karaoke or a wedding or something.

It is go-to. Everyone loves it. A certain party rock band. Who drinks a lot and sings about drinks and has a podcast of drinks. I'm just a slumhead. Like you. Penis and his penis. I'm just a slumhead like you. Penis head is penis.

Penis is what part of the dick? The head. You told our agent this place holds 30,000 people. It does. We had 30,000 here last night. Now play. The audience is getting restless. We want Chili Willie. We want Chili Willie. We want

Chili Willie. Shh. It's good to hear you teenage sloth head baby. All right.

Teenage Slothhead by Zach Mack, a.k.a. the ghost of Craig T. Nelson. Back at it. Nice. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Love it. That was a good one.

Very good. That was good. I like to hear it. Yeah, I enjoy hearing it as well. I like the sound of it. I couldn't think of anything to say because why? Oh, I'm so fucking hot here and Jeff won't let us turn on the

AC. There's an AC on, it's just in the other room, Mike. It's in the other room and there's a fan blowing. Oh, the fan's doing something. But it is 102 degrees outside. This is insane. You have a nice air conditioning unit. Oh, a Danby. It's a Danby?

It's a Danby. If we turned it on, it would be nice and cool in here. And who didn't love that? Hey, guess who's back? Who didn't love that? All right, I have the collar fitted. I'm going to do one. First off, it looks cool.

Yeah, it looks really cool. You look like you're wearing a choker. Yeah, you're a guy. You look like Livrod. Look, I'm going to do it. We'll test it out. Where is the node? Where are the nodes?

Okay. Kind of on the back. That's fair. It looks correct that way as well. Yeah. As long as it looks good. Well, because I'm pitching a dog. On our podcast.

But like a dog is walking and the thing is on the back of his neck. That seems like a problem. Sure. Well, I'm going to be taking sips. I don't want the electricity to disrupt any martini going down my throat. Also, what if you get liquid on the thing and you shock your whole body? This is for probably

a water dog, a lab, golden. See, normally this would be like a blowout activity where I would be a little more tipsy for first shocks. Yeah, yeah. Stephanie? Are you gonna just do it first? It's the button that looks like a lightning bolt. Stephanie are you gonna just do it first is it just okay it's the button that looks like a lightning bolt

alright ready so like I went to the fucking it's still nothing oh fuck oh that scared me I didn't like that because it was very sudden

your body shot to the side. You know what the worst part was? Your body shot away from where the nodes are. Interesting. It's almost like you didn't like the shot. We don't usually do a lot of nervous system science speculation on the show, but I would say the natural reaction to that is to move away from the shot. Very interesting.

Humans want to be non-shocked. Yes. They want to be in a comfortable setting. I like this room. I will say the neck is working okay. I'm not going to move it. But, Steph, you've got to be a little quicker on the draw because the time between when I knew it was coming and when it showed up was the worst.

Steph, was it right away when you hit it? It was like... Yeah. Yeah, okay. But I hit it was like just yeah yeah okay but i hit it once and nothing happened oh because the thing was like it's like it's like a jeopardy buzzer you know you have to yeah because it wasn't lit up when i sent it to you so like you also had it at a six yes are we keeping it yes we are steph now let's hear the buzz. Oh, that was the vibrate.

Even that scared me. You hopped just as much. And then the top note. Yeah. Okay. See, that wouldn't stop me from saying it, though. Those are chill, but when, Steph, when you hit the button to zap him, I saw you were kind of really gritting your teeth. Fry this fucker.

Let's fry this fucker. Let's fry this fucker. Let's fry this fucker. She's like the bad dude in the Green Mile. She said, hey boys, let's fry this fucker. We said,

Steph, you're not on a mic. Okay. So what's the actual booze news? Okay. Well, this is nice for the hundredth episode.

For the listener, let's say you're a listener of this show uh you listen to the show you uh you hate it uh you don't you don't know you're not you don't know much about cocktails you're like us you know you're kind of you're not a master of cocktails right well there's a new website oh that just relaunched called bar smartarts, right? Which is online bartender training program. But guess who's affiliated with it? Jack Schrammer. Celebrity Jack Schrammer has hooked us up.

Listen to this. Us, 100 Slopheads, can go to Bar Smarts and put in promo code Sloppy Smarts, and it's free. Normally, you'd pay $30. But to celebrate our 100th episode, 100 Slopheads are going to get a free bar. So how does that work, the first 100 to get there? Yeah, actually he said if it goes over 100, he'll just give us more. I thought it was kind of a fun kind of a thing.

But it's great. It's just like online, you learn the fundamentals, all the stuff. Was that when we first met him and did our little... That was through Gush. This is a very similar kind of a thing. It's very fun, folks. It was like...

He knows his stuff, Schramer. I'm assuming this is on Zoom as well. And he wouldn't put his name on something that was subpar. No. No, no. He puts his name on Solid Wiggles, and that is above par. And us, frankly. It was like...

Anyway, you want to be subpar. Hmm, that's interesting. It was... In golf. You're watching a professional teach you something. That's fun. Yeah. I said this before, but I like to...

If somebody who's good at something is talking about a craft, it's fun. You know, that's another way to save the cat in a movie. If you don't... When you meet a character, if you don't want to flat out have them steal from the rich and give to the poor or do something really nice. You can just show a character doing something. They're very skilled at really.

It makes an audience be like, I like interesting, interesting, like chef. I had, yeah, that was, that was,

that was a fair one. Wow. Damn. Yeah, that is fair. Like you're quick. That's good. Okay. Yeah, that is fair. You're quick. That's good.

Okay. That was good. So, Jeff, you have to nod. That was a good one. Now you got to get shocked. As in the example of chef. Yeah, yeah. So, do you want the word like just entirely out of your vocabulary? No, he did.

If I say the way you would say um, you know what I mean? Okay. It's just like a placeholder for getting the rest of your... Like, I just did it. Correctly. No, I said as like a... Wait, yeah, what would that be? It's like a placeholder.

Well, you could say it's a placeholder. You can say it's like a placeholder. You can't buzz them! Buzz that bitch! If I was to say, oh, the drink we're doing today, gay placeholder. You can't buzz him! Buzz that bitch! It would be like if I was to say oh, the drink we're doing today, it's like no, that's perfect.

I guess I don't. I'd never be zapped. You would be zapped. I think it's like I can finish the sentence however I want. I think, yeah, um is what we're talking about. Basically an um. Like um, like um. Stop it. want i think yeah um is what we're talking about basically like yeah yeah like like stop it

you're scaring me okay let's wrap it up i just wanted to say with bar smarts guys typically on podcasts people are saying hey promo code sloppy smarts yeah what's the promo code it's it's all caps sloppy smarts and you're thinking that's i mean i don't know if caps matters he texted it to me in caps but um you know lots of promo codes on podcasts are 10 off 15 off no i'm this is booze news because it's fucking free it's a treat okay free it's a treat and with that wrap up booze news that's it for booze news Wrap up Booze News. That's it for Booze News.

Blades of Steel. Blades of Steel, Nintendo. That's right. I thought you liked that more, Tim. You're a hockey guy. It's too hot to like anything. I was just thinking about the usage of the word like. I don't want to talk Booze today. I want to talk grammar. Blades of the word like. I don't want to talk booze today. I want to talk.

Grammar. Yeah, grammar. Blades of like. Gramcast. Gramcast. Well. We need to get Jeff just like talking about something.

That's what I want too. I'm kicking back this episode. Yeah, yeah. I feel myself being timid too. Because I'm not even wearing the collar, but I'm sort of thinking that I don't want to say like. Well, I don't notice his like, so when he gets shocked, he's sitting right next to me jumps and i'm jumping see here's

the thing with the martini which we'll talk about in a moment you guys should have the classic looks good martini glass i want to have like a sippy cup of soap yes wow i'm not even noticing these Wow, I'm not even noticing these. Way to go, Steph. No, Jeff. Let me finish my thoughts. No, no, let me finish your thoughts. That was not the rules. Jeff, when you get shocked to the outside observer,

you get shocked into the air. But is there enough of a surge that you're lifting off your chair, or is it that's your body reacting to not liking it? I'll tell you when I know. Let me ask you this, Jeff. Yes? Is the shock... I don't like this.

Does the shock... Is it actually as hard... How do I want to say this? It's surprising as well as... It's not painful, but it is... It's more like you're jumping as like, whoa, rather than ouch. It's a little bit of an ouch.

Yeah, a little ouch. Well, that's because it's on six. Wait till it's on ten, baby. If you could... You could do seven. What's the matter with you, Jeff? Let's have a little barbecue gutting. I would love to have you do that. It doesn't flambé. It's so unregulated that your

neck has grill marks on it. That's not what you do to dogs. If it's nine, there's an exclamation point. Oh, shit. There's a warning sign that comes up. What are you at now?

Seven. We'll do seven. That's fine. Okay, let's go to seven, but here's the thing. These go to 11. I think you could write that. These are how many likes you get.

Your next like, we go to eight. Your next like, we go to nine. Yeah. So if you could make it through the episode and you only ever felt a six, that's great. That means you learned. Yeah, okay. Well, starting now, I think we can boost it up to seven. And then we'll see if I even get a seven.

I don't get this. I don't get why you want to do this. It's to train me, Mike. It's to make me a better podcaster. Yeah, but this would have to be we keep it on you for weeks and weeks. No, I think one will do this. It's to train me, Mike. It's to make me a better podcaster. Yeah, but this would have to be we keep it on you for weeks and weeks. No, I think one will do it. Okay.

I already feel like a better speaker. Oh! That was a correct usage. That was on the line. Yeah, he feels like a better... That one was correct. So you received the shock, but we won't go up to eight

so if it's a if it's a bad shock do you go down yeah what's what's steph's penalty for this is for bad zaps look steph is volunteering helping the show she can zap all she wants she walked here on a hundred degree day damn it oh boy okay well maybe i don't think one was on the line. Well, maybe. I don't think that was on the line, though, right? What was he saying? I said, I'm going to say it. I feel like a better podcaster. That's correct usage. That's good.

At least in my head, I'm thinking like comma. Yeah, if you imagine the comma, that's a zapper right there. Here's what we say. If the sentence works without the word, it means that the word shouldn't have been there. I wouldn't say, I feel a better podcaster. No, because that would be like sexual. I feel as if I was a better podcaster. I feel as though I feel a better podcaster. No, because that would be like sexual. I feel as if I was a better podcaster. I feel as though I was a better podcaster.

All right, let's talk about the martini. A drink that I very much like. Yes. Oh, very nice. Nice. Yes, I like, love that drink. Yeah, I like, it's giving me life. Like martinis are like so good

I had one at the like mall it's so bad I know you're joking Mike and that's very funny but I feel like when I hear you guys say it it makes me super anxious because I feel like I'm gonna start saying okay that was a seven

how did it feel not great not great all right can we talk about the drink please we can't and we can and we will uh are you enjoying are you enjoying your time here yeah step is wild eyed having a blast bashing that button um okay the martiniini. You ready for this? The classic. Dorky Parker once said, I like to have a... She's a writer. I thought you said Dorky Parker. Yeah, yeah, Dorky Parker, writer.

Who's Dorky Parker? Dorky Parker once said, I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three, I'm under the table. After four, I'm under the host. It's a stiff drink folks that's right today we're talking about the big boy the mondo mama the martini the international bartenders association calls this the dry martini okay you've had i'm yes i've had this is like dry martini i feel is like the classic of classic martini yeah like i would think we should just

call our episode Martini. Right. Oh, he's going to ask you. It's just to say we're not talking about an espresso martini or a lychee martini. We've had, we've had. We've had up and down the block. Oh, you had like on Little Dom's anniversary. Yeah, it was like their eighth birthday.

No! That's proper, proper. Respect, respect. Damn, Steph, you're good. Are you listening to also hearing the content of what he you saying or are you just scanning for likes yeah that's the hard part yeah you have to listen to both like i was listening to what you were saying and you started a sentence with like and you wanted to zap it i would say okay but maybe not but it probably probably never needs to be at the beginning of a sentence. Probably not.

But it's those ones that I'm like, I panic in the moment. Those are zappers. And you can zap Jeff if I say it, too. I predict Jeff's going to get a zap on one of us saying, like, you're just going to be listening for it. Now we forgot, we were going to do the simile episode where I can't say as. As. Well, hold on. So the little Dom story, you were there.

It was you and me and Carl Feiler. Yeah, that was great. Their sixth birthday or eighth birthday. I think Like, hasn't. Well, hold on. So the Little Dom story, you were there. It was you and me and Carl Feiler. Yeah, that was great. It was their sixth birthday or eighth birthday. I think it was their eighth, but they were doing this every year. Eight-cent martinis was their thing. Yeah. And you could either do... Telling a story is so daunting because there's so much speaking to do.

Either with a twist or with olives. And the line was down the block. Yeah. It was packed in there too. We waited to get in there. We waited to get in there. Choose your words wisely. And we set off,

when we got up to the bar, we said, how many can we get? And they were like, I don't know, 10? Oh, fuck. You can do it, Steph. Ah 10 oh fuck you can do it you can do it we said i deserve it how many can we get and they said i don't know 10 so we got 10 and just passed them back down the

line yeah and then the next person who came up got 10 and passed them back down the line yeah so we set off something like hey that was legit we set off something similar to a similar to what if that's your new focus this is similar something similar to a good karma bomb let's say okay and everybody in the bar is now freely exchanging these like super cheap like why just wait and oh yes it's when you start talking fast yeah yeah just pick up the pace here let's go we haven't even had any drinks this is gonna suck so yeah and carl just likes he was like i'll he gave him a ten dollar bill i think right and then you know we're still giving him good tips yeah yeah because to actually be like here's like here's eight cents and uh and we had a great time this is midday and then we went across to um then it was mexico city and we heard that

not long after we left a fight broke out and they stopped doing the yeah martini birthday the next year they didn't do it anymore i think it's because it was an unforeseen consequence of us getting everybody uh very drunk and very good-willed yeah so goodwill they want to fight everybody yeah little times that's a nice and that's a cool like venue to the bar there so uh it's all like wood paneled and stuff it's great but when they're doing that they were pouring them like out of a jug or what yeah it seemed ready to go because that's the whole point of a martini is the crisp i can tell you're trying to just get me to talk. Well, it is a podcast. Now, Jeff, I wanted to ask you

something extemporaneous. Okay, well, so we all drink them. We all love them. They're great. This is a special drink. We saved it for the 100th. Yeah, the hundo. The big hundo. Here is the history, okay? We're going

all the way back. Because you think of this, I mean, literally, there's a fucking emoji of the dry martini. So when you think cocktail, you're thinking of this thing. It goes back to the late 1800s. There's a fucking emoji. About the name, you know, a few different theories. Some people think it came from Martinez, California,

because at the nearby Occidental hotel in san francisco they had a gin manhattan that all the gold rush dudes drank and oh wow that was in jerry thomas's book and it's called 1840s era yes uh 1849 is when the gold rush started 49 that's what made me think 1840 there you go zeroing in on uh they They should call the San Francisco 49ers the 40-somethings. Between the 40s and 49s. But that's like a different drink. And a lot of these early martinis are very different. There's also, there's like a bartender in New York with the last name Martini.

There's some stuff going on in Paris that could be tied in. But the one that I believe is the brand of vermouth, Martini and Rossi. Jeff is just staring dead at me, looking off, fearing his next sound. I'm really excited about this vermouth brand. Well, Martini and Rossi was a previously existing vermouth. Yeah, they're shit. So it's probably that. That's like an Italian brand. But all of these early ingredients had all kinds of different,

martinis had different ingredients we start to get this dry martini in new york like turn of the century early 1900s and we're talking the knickerbocker hotel in manhattan the original location's not there anymore but um it was in midtown and um you know actually there was a painting at the bar there that's now at the St. Regis. The King Cole painting. I went and looked at it, and that's kind of cool. Yeah, that's a cool bar. I've been there. The King Cole room at the St. Regis?

I got to the King Cole bar area, and it was, like, packed. So, like, we're not taking more people, but you just sit out in, like, the lobby area, which is also very nice. But guess what? I peeked in. My call! No peek call no peaks hey don't shock me for that i went to that bar because it's referenced in some like an f scott fitzgerald story mentions that painting about getting drunk and looking at it so i went into that bar and looked at it and i had the best new york experience ever where um i was having a martini and next to me two big boy midwestern businessmen out with

russian sex workers all dressed up like you know like whoa we're in new york and then we're like the client brought us out for drinks and i was like wow wow this is new york yeah um anyway that's what we're up to all the time over there. So Knickerbocker Hotel. Then this thing, it gets more popular in the 30s. It gets a little bit. Oh, it gets fancier because, you know, it's seen in The Thin Man. Nick and Nora are drinking it. Yeah.

Neil Campbell told us this on Campbell's Corrections. And that movie made it. They were having those teeny little versions of it. Tiny Coops. Tiny Coops. corrections and that movie made it they were having those teeny little versions of it tiny coops tiny coops people start popping olives in there because this you know the salt works well with the gin you heard about the vegetable trend and liquor it was coming in 100 years and the big thing to know with the teenies through the years is that the vermouth has been constantly going down like early on it was like a lot of vermouth then less less less these days bartenders always bartenders love vermouth they want you was like a lot of vermouth. Then less, less, less. These days, bartenders always, bartenders love vermouth. They want you to have a lot of vermouth.

And us customers. Nasty. They do? Because it's cheap? No, bartenders just like it because it's velvety. You know? They like to stir and they want you to have a velvety experience. They're just saying that because velvet begins with a V and so does vermouth.

That's definitely. That's what they all love. That's what they're doing. There's those jokes though, you know, it's like, oh, I want my martini Churchill style where you bow at it or like you take the cap off or you... Or like, hey, just

wink at the... Oh! Yep. Do we go to an eight now? No. This hurts the the pressure for the shocker is like switch sides yeah i had to divvy out the zaps a little bit but uh there's a joke one where it's like you hold the vermouth bottle up to the light and have the light refract through it into your yeah yeah nobody likes vermouth on the the vermouth on the way out the door on the way out of the door I worked at a steakhouse once

where a guy was it called Pontillos? no no it was called it is called you worked at a steakhouse? I was a busboy and I'm forgetting the name of the place but it was a guy would come in and he'd be be like, just for his steak, like so rare. He's like, just walk it by the flame.

Right. It's kind of cute, but no, we're not going to do that because we don't have a lawsuit, sir. Martini is a good steakhouse drink because it doesn't fuck around. You're having a big meal, big fatty meal, and then it cuts right through it. Yeah. Okay, FDR loved martinis he was seen uh drinking them all the time and he some people credit him with with dripping the olive juice right in there hey martini also during world war two uh fdr goes out to russia to talk to stalin stalin turns him on

to the vodka martini vodka being their big thing that was my first was vodka so was mine mine was gin i was first yeah you turned me onto the gin yeah vodka gets more and more popular than gin during the course of the the second half of the 1900s james bond's drinking vodka martinis people start ordering vodka martinis. These days vodka has fully eclipsed gin as the more popular spirit. We know Bond likes vodka, but what about

Moneypenny? Oh, God. What? What about Q? Okay, no. What about Jaws? Q and I. I love Jaws. I like Oddjob though the best Sure

Random task That's funny That's exactly the jokes we did on Comedy Bang Bang All the time was random task Wait now here's a question Did Austin Powers He didn't do a His mojo

He drank his own mojo Mojo was just material right yeah yeah it's been just material um we know this thing about james bond right that it's like it's an upper class move to have it stirred and it's more middle class to have it shaken so he was being a tough guy by having it shaken yes i don't know why why what did we find out what that like why it would be shaken would be more because it's quicker well fancy bartenders want you to have a velvety drink and they don't know why. Did we find out why shaking would be more? Because it's quicker. Well, fancy bartenders want you to have a velvety drink, and they don't want you to bruise the gin and add too much air to it. But the sloppy boys like those little icy chips,

and we like that cloudy shake. You stir my drink, I'm going to bruise you. It's just more fun to shake. Yeah. You get a bunch of ice in there? Oh, yeah. That's nice. My first martini was at Muso and frank like 10 years ago

they got the little sidecar on ice so it stays cold it was uh i i loved it but when you have your first martini everyone remarks that well damn this is strong this is like straight boots you don't kind of know that that's what's going on when you watch mad men and they do like a two martini lunch you're like what the fuck or three. There's that one where they like go out and have oysters. Yeah. Oh, I love that. But they have like a bunch of martinis.

That's impossible. It does seem like the three martini lunch was based on a Nick and Nora glass. So you're, you're having like three shots rather than like eight shots. I was just watching the Zuby Zoo episode where if you don't know, there's a party at Don Draper's house and a woman sings Zuby Zubi Zoo episode where, if you don't know, there's a party at Don Draper's house and a woman sings Zubi Zubi Zoo. Everyone's got the small little glasses

and they look like somebody clinks on the glass and they look like they're thick glass too. They made glass for a lot more... Yeah, back when glass could last. I brought us some small thick ones for today, but I should have put them in the freezer to get them cold. We could do that move the bartenders who we put a little ice on it

yes yes and then throw out the ice yeah yeah cubes discarded discarded cubes um you guys make these because i love them i this is the drink i make the most at home by a mile really yeah i make these multiple times a week i got blue cheese olives in my fridge i order when i'm out the one of the tower bar in hollywood is great the one at the arroyo chop house is great i like the blue cheese olives a lot sure i got a lot to say about maybe we should let's let you finish up and then we'll get to it because i want to okay here's the iba recipe two ounces of gin great 60 milliliters 10 milliliters of dry vermouth. I like that. Six to one.

That's good ratio. And I'm going to do it like I usually get mine just a vermouth rinse. Yeah, I do a little dribble. I think we should do the IBA. Yeah, I do. Letter of the law first. Yeah. Here is the method.

Pour all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice cubes. Oh. Stir well. Strain into a chilled martini cocktail glass what would money penny say for the garnish squeeze oil from lemon peel onto the drink or garnish with green olives if requested um my olives are cold that's good because you don't like putting a big fat hot olive in there i have some. They are expiring right now. You can hear them.

This month. No! I've had them for years, but they are martini olives. So I don't know if that means there is vermouth in the jar. We'll find out. That's weird. Wow. I've never heard of such a thing.

Chug them. What do you say we take a little break? And when we come back... We'll like drink a little break, and when we come back... We'll like drink a martini, dude. When we come back, it's our 100th segment two. My gosh, 100 episodes. Well, that's something.

Yeah. Yeah. Folks, see you in a minute. Bzzz. Bzzz. And we're back with dry martinis. Let's see them. Welcome back to the Zap Hour. Let's take some first sips.

These already look like they got warm between the kitchen and here. No. Mine's pretty chilly. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's icy. Icy hot. That's good. I like the ratio. I'm getting tangare and I'm not getting too much weird. Yeah.

Tim, you did a nice stir up there. We didn't shake, as you know. I mean, I prefer the shake. I miss having those little Japanese ice chips on top. I usually get mine dirty and not like some people like filthy, but like not too dirty. The extra dirty martini is having a moment right now. People are going nuts.

Oh, really? You want it filthy. I wonder if someone's going to contact me for an article they're writing to comment. What do I say? I'll say listen to the Sloppy Boys 100th episode. Because I don't want to get while holding this very tippy drink to begin with. I took the picture with the nice glass.

Now I'm going to dump it in the water. Oh, that's terrible. That plastic cup is warm. At least give yourself a glass. That's liable to spill, Mike. This has a lid. It's going to be gross. warm. At least give yourself a glass glass. That's liable to spill, Mike. This has a lid. It's going to be gross. That thing's going to make it warm. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you what it is. So I love these martini glasses. The triangle shape, the Nick and Nora look. Even the bigger ones are fine. But if I order a martini and they bring it out and it's in a wine cup or something, I'm like, this sucks. You fucked it up. You want that triangle triangle the strength of the triangle i also don't like the drinking out of a starbucks with a big green straw that's how they give you they give you

in an airport they give you in a plastic but now i can now i can speak freely drink freely sucking it up that big green straw is so funny. It's like, because the whole thing will fit in that straw. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. It's actually better out of plastic. Wow. Everyone should be thinking of that. Here's the thing now, Jeff, you have said you don't like the cocktail glass because of the tippiness. Yep.

And here's what I'll say to you. You're talking about like, oh, I'm walking around. People are bumping into me. Tim, I'm all ears. What do you have to say about it? I think that you're not wrong. It's a bad. Hey, say no more. Mike, anything you'd like to add? I do have a lot to add, but I'm all ears. What do you have to say about it? I think that you're not wrong. Thank you. Say no more.

Mike, anything you'd like to add? I do have a lot to add, but I want to hear it. You want to add? No, it's correct usage. Steph was correct. Steph should be sitting up on a big tennis chair. She's got binoculars trained on my lips. You don't order a martini and then walk around and get

bumped i think the thing about a martini there's this really good martini there's like a half hour martini documentary on um amazon half hour that's called like the martini uh and i paid two dollars to rent it and watch it but um one of the guys like dale de graff or one of those old school dudes makes the point that it's like it's the it's a drink that's experience where you're saying like i'm gonna sit at a bar i have my little arms folded in front of me and i'm looking at my little drink and i'm like i'm gonna take 15 minutes with his martini it's not a walk around drink you know oh uh de graff says it should be 11 icy sips wow interesting yeah so you picture yourself having a quiet moment at a bar and you're dressed nice and you're you're taking your 11 icy sips

but you're not you're not walking around hey i'm jeff i'm talking to everybody oh yeah did you know i'm a director no it's not it's not that kind of dream, right? Did you know? Damn, roasted. Have a few more to eat there, Warthorough. Right between the eyes, me talking about the directing. I do dolly shots. Unless you're at Don Draper's birthday party walking around and talking to people, talking to some of the characters. Or you're Vince Vaughn on the cover of the Swingers poster. Or Leo from the meme. True.

Leo from the meme. Leo from the meme. This is so weird to drink during the day. Yeah, it's a strange daytime drink. This is not like you sit by the pool with us, I don't think. No, it's 11 icy sips. I saw a guy. I was at Shutter's in Santa Monica.

I saw a guy by the pool, black t-shirt, black jeans, drinking a martini in the hot sun. And I said, I don't like this guy. I don't trust him. No. What I was going to say about the tippy glass is I do like what I'm walking around with. And you have to kind of like wing the... You got to round those corners. You have to like gyroscope the...

I lean my whole body back. And as you're like having your second one, you're feeling a little buzzed and loose. And you almost can do it better. And sure, it's it's as you're like having your second one you're feeling a little uh buzzed and loose and you almost can do it better and sure it's splashing around a little bit but sometimes those drops go up they fall right back in the glass the martini is funny to me especially in these glasses it's it reminds me of a character like arthur or uh just like a kind of a funny drunk who's like splashing his martini a little bit, and people are like, ah, he's funny. He thinks he's funny. This is a great movie drunk's drink.

Yes, exactly. It photographs well. Photographs well. There's that line in Dumb and Dumber where he's like, I got us a couple of bowls of loudmouth soup, and it's two martinis. Loudmouth soup. And they're wearing the blue and orange tuxedos

oh my god that's so funny loudmouth soup god damn it um pretty good you know i was just i was thinking of the daytime thing and that when we took our our cocktail making class on gush with jack shram he said he was trying to get us to use more vermouth and we were pushing back hard. And he said, I'll tell you this, if you do like the 50-50, because this is six to one, but he's like, if you do half and half, you can have it as a happy hour drink and it's not weird.

I'm like, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. Just because it's more, it's just not, we're like slowly taking a cold shot of gin. Not me, sucking it down a straw. Yeah, that's true.

That's weird. Can we talk about olives? So you brought blue cheeses. You guys declined. Those are great. I declined. I wanted to go. I had one.

We went for martini olives. Yeah. They got pimentos. I would call these Spanish olives, right? Let's eat them. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, pretty classic. Delicious.

Now, I... Yes? Spanish olives, right? Let's eat them. Yeah, sure. Yeah, pretty classic. Delicious. Now, I... Yes? The olives can come in all types of... Sometimes they just drop it in there. Sometimes they put it on a stick. Sometimes they give you a five. Sure. I was at Tam O'Shanter with you guys a little while back,

and I got a martini. And the bartender was saying there's like a tradition of one olive is for the Holy Spirit, and three olives is for the Trinity. No, one olive is for good luck or something, and three olives for the Trinity. What's five? Father, Son, Holy Spirit?

Mm-hmm. But if you get two olives, that's bad luck. Yes. Or an even number is bad luck. Yes, I've heard that. That's that brand, Three Olives. Yes. Or an even number is bad luck. Yes, I've heard that. That's that brand Three Olives. Yeah. Yeah.

Even number. Oh. It's not two olives. Three olives is an odd number. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like totally odd. Stop.

That's like interesting. Don't. Do not bait me in such a way. When you hear the word you want to say. I want to say it. Oh, they're having so much fun saying that word. They're so carefree and valley girlish. But the olive thing, sometimes when, that's always another thing too, when they put a

drink down, like I was saying, it's in a like wine glass, like, no, this is dumb. Or it's like, oh, here's a whole stick of six olives. Like, what are you doing? You don't like that? I like, I like one kind of plopped in there as sort of the classic look. Three, I like because of the tradition thing. Like, what are you doing? You don't like that? I like one kind of plopped in there as sort of the classic look. Three, I like because of the tradition thing. Sure, sure, sure.

I do like it dirty. And then also, just on the tip of olives, at Bird's, you remember Bird's? Sure. I used to go all the time and just steal olives. I never had a martini there. Did you ever have a martini there? I get right in there. All the little garnishes. Now, the olives also go in Bloody Marys. Why only two remember a martini? I get right in there. All the little garnishes. Now, the olives also go in Bloody Marys. Why only

two drinks? Let's get the olives in more drinks, folks. That's interesting. Now, a martini with an onion is a Gibson? Yeah, I have those onions too. They're great. Haven't we done that at Dresden? Yeah, and in Mad Men, that's

what John Slattery orders. What's his name, Cooper? Or is he... Sterling. Sterling. I know him from Confess Fletch. That could be a future. I like all different types of teenies.

I like sometimes... I used to get at the Chateau Marmont, there'd be this little lady once a week that came in with a little bar in the lobby. A teeny lady, a martini, a martini, martini.

She did those little round Nick and Nora glasses. And then she had those tiny olives that didn't even have room. They had this little pit in there, but it's a little baby olive, almost like a caper. Hey, caper will be good. Hey,

what a caper. A couple capers. I've also had, I have pickled tomatoes, cherry tomatoes. They're green, unripe. I put those in there. And didn't you just have a tomato martini recently? Yes, I did, Michael. Yes! Thank you. Anything pickled can go in there.

Sometimes you take a little clump of sauerkraut. What about Pickle Rick? Stop. Pickle Rick. Very popular character. Could be my first tattoo. Now, as we're sipping, most of our drinks, they get melty and better. This one's going the wrong direction.

It's getting warm as we drink it. Condensation all on the side of this glass. I wanted this thing shaken up and cloudy and snowy. That's what I wanted. That sounds like a good tweak for round two. Shake I wanted. That sounds like a good tweak for round two. Shake it up. I really do prefer the shake. Yeah, tweak that. Do you have vodka here?

Yes. I might try a vodka, dirty vodka martini. Why do you share such conspiratorial smiles? Because I want Steph to fry you right now! Let him fry! These are for all the likes of the past. I'm going to hell, Jeff.

Yeah, man, the shaker. You shake a shaker until you can't shake anymore. You know, it makes your hand too cold. And then you pour it. It's the best. Come on. What was the thing we were in one of our 100 episodes? Also, guys, congrats to the 100 episodes.

Hey, come on. Booze. I'm not going to cheers you over my computer. Okay, very good. Very smart with his electronics. I love that. Yeah, of course. Here's the thing, Mike.

I got the Tito's. Do you sub this out for Tito's? Well, that's why, since I don't have vodka martinis very often, I want to try one. Right, because you are a gin boy. Gin boy. Now, for tweaks, we also could do lemon.

I have fresh lemons. Now, I don't... Have you guys... I really kind of only stick with gin martini classic-ish stuff. But I've never done what you're talking about with the tomato or one of those TGI Fridays or Ruby Tuesdays weird martinis. Oh, no. Like a fun restaurant. It's like, Tuesdays, weird martinis. Oh, no, like a fun restaurant.

It's like, we got a strawberry martini. When they have a martini menu, you're like, what are you talking about? Is it just the shape of the glass that people like? You know, when it's the raspberry martini, the blueberry martini, those are just different drinks. And those seem huge with, like, some color to the glass. Those tend to be vodka, right? Like Appletini. Oh!

Yeah, yes. Just because you like it, that's a false positive. Did Steph get a martini? Yeah. Yeah, good. You get drunk. Have more. That's why Steph's getting a little zappy. I said the L word

as in, for example. I did. Don't. He's drunk. Steph fell asleep and her head's resting on the zap button. You know, you think of the original martinis, little Nick and Nora glass, and then you think of these kind of triangle-y ones for James Bond.

When we get into the 90s, I picture like Sex and the City era. Sure. Hotel lobby martinis. Just a big old The opening is like a Mike? What is it? What is it like, Mike? That's proper. It's like the bell of a trombone. But also sometimes

the stem. And making more beautiful music You know they tried to do interesting things with the stem Where it would be like an off kilter Like a zig zag I've seen like the curly Q like I hate this I just said like That's a kind of a

A drunk guy like dancing with himself With a martini I'll be right back And sashays out. Does a box step out of the room with a martini. We should have a song that you gotta do, you gotta do. And it's like, I'm blue, da-ba-dee, da-ba-die. You know, a thing that we used to joke about?

Remember, it used to be such a trope to see in a movie two guys getting along who haven't gotten along the whole movie, and then it cuts to them after a night out, and they're singing a song. Oh, fuck. I held on that one. Steph was in dreamland. No, no, she's got it.

She's got it. Steph has passed out there. There was a funny one in, what is it, Plane Trains and Automobiles has one, but do they sing? Oh, wait, start again. So they're...

To show that like two guys are getting along, they're drunkenly singing together. Like, show me the way to go home. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just got away with them, by the way. No, I didn't. Zap them! No.

Do your worst, Steph. You've used up all the batteries with all your stuff. Do it! Oh, fuck! Hey, wait a second. Do it! When you zapped, my computer flickered a little bit. No.

Interesting. Are we still rolling? Maybe that's why it stopped before. You zapped it off. Noered a little bit. No. Interesting. Are we still rolling? Maybe that's why it stopped before. You zapped it off. No, we're still good over here. My computer has been flickering, but I didn't notice if it was during all your... Maybe it's when you say like. You know what we should have done while we made these?

Turn the AC on. We did. Oh, we did? And we turned it back off to roll. Yeah, now the genie is steaming me back up. Proper pod. Well, we are heading into segment three pretty soon people love segment three let's give them what they want it's i mean it's so funny because i

could talk about these it there's so much feeling behind this drink you know we usually do these drinks and it's like uh what does this make you think of yeah this is a martini so great it's so great because it is don't you think you're like booze right look at it cocktail yeah you're not around you're taking a lot of cold gin to the dome and it's fancy and it's nice and it's celebratory it's better than champagne when you're celebrating the worst oh it's fun to pop a bottle it's fun to do the art of surprise that's about it sure but we all can agree the pageantry of a martini and again the stiffness that you could eat fucking a steak the size of your head and then you sip on this guy in it and you're fine well you're not gonna have a big fat pina colada with your steak you know no too sugary also it's nice to have a nice

big fat blue cheese olive in that martini it may be a little blue cheese next to the steak, too. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you dip in your steak in the martini. Oh. I got a question for you guys. Oh, great. Nothing too personal.

Steph, you're in on this, too. What, if you're having a martini, what is your choice of liquor? Not just vodka or gin, but like brand. Brand. Oh, okay. It's like we've been talking about this for an hour. This is already...

You can tap me. I just said it. Oh! Zap! Are we going to bump this up to eight or what? What are we on now? Eight. Yeah! Yes! Wait, what's the one with the... What's the one with the danger sign?

Nine. Nine. You've become immune to seven. Nine gets a little... Let's do nine. Does it go to ten? Don't... It goes to ten.

It goes to... Sixteen. Holy shit. Well, why are we fucking... And nine is the... Nine is the next danger sign? By the time this episode's over, you guys are going to get zapped. Six is ice water.

No, it's... Yeah, but if nine has a warning, sixteen is like for a... Let's do nine. By the time this episode's over, you guys are going to get zapped. His eyes watered. No. But if nine has a warning, 16 is like for a horse. His eyes are watering because he's an emotional guy. That's fine that he's expressing that. Yeah, sure. He's gone 100 episodes of this thing. He's talking to his friends. He loves his friends. He's crying.

What? But this is already. So I can tell I'm yelling. And I'm. This is loud mouth soup because i'm like well before we go to segment two you guys just have a i feel like you have a lot of martini to drink yeah we do but no you didn't answer my question i have a good question after that what liquor do you like best though uh i would say this is a good question hendrix gin okay that's what I was Steph I'm gonna like Tito's

Tito's Tito's vodka well gin well gin I like cheap gin man what's that a beefeater last night I was at Lily's formerly minibar

oh their well is beefeater wow delicious that's great beefeater is my choice and I said can I get a beefeater martini

and he said beefeaters are well man tell you what he also said he was a fan of my work. There you go. This is a good bartender. You should be like, and then make it a couple extras.

Keep them coming all night. Yeah, Beefeater, for some reason, I think it's because when I would be on vacation as a kid, my parents would do like a cocktail hour before we'd eat. And Beefeater,ater I think was the gin of their gin and tonics gin and tonic was like the

pre-dinner and a Beefeater to me is the square bottle it just it's got a funny name it's got a it has the British guy

was it a royal guard on the front? not the guy with the big puffy black hat but like the other kind of squatter hat or square hat

I don't know it's great i like normal gin i like seagrams and i love gordon's and those are cheap and gordon bombay gordon bombay when you get too high on the gin shelf you lose me for martini like i love hendrix and tango are delicious but above that when you get into like botanical juniper hipster gins they're good in a gin and tonic or something like that but i wouldn't really want a martini of them how about a slow gin martini that'd be interesting we have a big giant we have it use it up boy we can do a lot of times we go to segment five six and seven okay wait i had a forbidden fourth segment um jeff when you

when you edit this podcast if you you're looking at the project file, does the waveform, do we get louder as the episode goes? Oh, absolutely. Yeah? Absolutely. If you could visually see that. At the end of this, we'll squish down our thing right now. Yeah, the blobs get bigger as you go.

The blobs were just yelling. The blobs get bigger. That's pretty good. Was that your question? Yep. That's a pretty good question. Insightful. I actually had a question, a couple questions for you guys.

Oh, God. Oh! We don't even need to rank this because this is a Stone Cold Classic. Everyone's already guessed. No, no. This is before we... But we're not even in segment three. We don't do the quiz before.

Huh? I don't think I've ever heard this thing ring out like this. Oh, Jeff, you're drunk. This thing goes. Super Stager Long? Super Stager Long. He's worried about getting zapped. He's got a lot going on. Alright, well, when we come back... Love it.

We'll be doing a retrospective, a look back quiz. 100? 100. Oh, boy. But for now, folks. Second rounds. Ads.

Boo to ads. Boo to you if you listen to ads and you're not a patron. Folks. Head over to the Patreon. Get on there. What are you doing

listening to the ads? Wasting your time. You're wasting your life. You could be mixing up another Juniper Rich Martini. Get out of this segment for Christ's sake. Paul Lee! I'm just rambling.

Did you just zap the guy? What are we up with that, Colin? Zap me. Zap is over to segment three. This is terrible. Folks, we'll see you in a minute. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. And we're back with Hanford-style martinis. Mike, what have you cooked up for us?

Hanford-style-ies, Rochester-style-ies. I went dirty, tiny bit of vermouth. I think I even went too much on the vermouth. Dribble, little, wait, wait, tiny bit of vermouth. Tiny bit, but I think I... But you went too much on the vermouth. Dribble, little, wait, wait. Tiny bit of vermouth. Tiny bit, but I think I... But you went too much. What I would do is...

Oh, for your tip. So this is a Hanford-style martini. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So it's dirty. It's a little bit of vermouth. But because there was three, I was like trying to... Got it.

I made three. And this is still tangare. This is still tangare, and I did blue cheese olive, which I usually don't do, but we had them, and I... And are these shaken? Shaken, yes. Shaken, my hands are killing me. I already like the look of it better, and I can tell by the hue that it's not too dirty.

It's nicely dirty. It's not a bog. Right. Frog bug? Oh, Michael. That's pretty good. Impeccable. Michael, you've beaten the IBA.

Because it's got that oh you know it gets a little more diluted with the shake it's colder and the dirtiness like i said i don't always order mine dirty but this is what i do want i just don't trust people to do it yeah right because if you say dirty some people are like okay because i don't want to taste olives. I just want the crunch of the salt. Yeah. It's just barely there. I don't want to taste olives. No, because you want to taste your gin, Jeffy. Where did you go?

The tough thing about these blue cheese olives, they taste good. But when they're in the liquid and you look at it, they kind of look like something off of Dr. Pill Popper MD. Bestified. I'll tell you this. These are cheap. These are like, what's that brand? Manzanito or whatever. It's that.

Blue cheese olives. You go to fucking the place I mentioned before, like Oro Chop House or Tower Bar. Yeah. They're stuffing them like to order. They're in the kitchen. Oh, cool.

Just taking fresh wads of blue cheese and cramming it in a nice olive. I fucking Joffrey's out in Malibu last night. Hey. We got blue cheese olives. There were little specks of blue cheese on the outside of the olive. Like you could see the little chef's hands. Whoa. Get this in there for Tim.

Yeah. He doesn't kick my ass. I'm going to try my very best for my boy Tim. That's cool, but I don't usually love seeing the chef's fingerprints on the food. I want to think like... But Mike, it's high quality blue cheese fingerprints. Yeah, that's true. And they're all washing their hands, right? You hope. Jeez.

That'd be so funny to go into a Michelin star restaurant and go back and everyone's wearing gloves. Those big floppy gloves. You know, that's something I think is funny. It's not funny to everybody. It's not funny to me. No.

What I'm picturing is funny, but it would be hard to talk about. Now, when you said a couple bowls of loudmouth soup, I was thinking, what if there was a boozy soup? You know, like... Yeah, there's teas. That seems like what the bull shot should have been, a boozy soup. Yeah, a boozy soup. Ooh, that's good. But I'm thinking of like...

Or a ramen. On Gabrus' True TV show, they had like beer cheese soup. And I was like, what if there was beer in there? Or what if it was like a hangover soup that's got a little bit of vodka in it so you cheer up? The tough thing about that, though, is heating up a liquor kills off all the alcohol. If you get it all the way up to a boil, right? Or an after. Oh, after.

A little after. What if it was like a cabbage, a Polish cabbage soup with a vodka in it? Yeah. Sure. I think that would be fine to try out. Thank you. Thanks so much. That would be good.

That would be good to test out. I would like in a ramen where there's a lot going on already, like there's an egg. Oh! Ooh, that felt like an egg. That's right. Came off the cherry. That's nine.

You're at nine? That's the first exclamation point. Will he handle 16? And how will he handle it? I feel like the zaps are overshadowing my whole point about the ramen. I did like your point about the ramen. Now, can I say something about ramen for once?

Yes, say it. I told you guys, maybe on this very show, that I've been ordering a lot of ramen from Daikokuya. So good. But then I had this idea. You know, Top Ramen, what's that brand? Oh, like had this idea. You know, Top Ramen.

What's that brand? Oh, like Marushin? Marushin Top Ramen. It's like 10 cents, right? Yeah. I was like, what if I kicked it up? So I got that shit. I bubbled it up.

Yeah. Chicken, just like the plain chicken one, right? And I got seaweed snacks. I put them in there. I took some soft boiled eggs. I took some chili oil and put them there. I got it snacks I put them in there I took some soft boiled eggs I took some chili oil I put them there I got it all going

and I said Tim you kicked it up and I ate it and it wasn't good it was bad I was just about to say you just opened a new restaurant

but now it sucks did you do the thing where you did soft boiled egg you didn't poach the egg in the noodles no I soft boiled the egg in the noodles. No, I soft-boiled the eggs in the morning, threw them in the fridge, so that by the time it was... Yeah, you've mentioned this.

Yeah. You keep soft-boiled eggs on hand. But now they became medium-boiled for the soup at night. They were what you want, which is like not soft-boiled, but when you cut into it in your ramen, the yolk is still gelatinous kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was better than eating your normal ramen, but I thought that it was going to be as good as Daikokuya,

the most famous ramen restaurant in America. Here's the problem with... No, that's a good goal, though. Yeah. Here's the problem with... I set my... I'm like Kanye, you know? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. The problem with ramen eggs is this. Look, I love to have a brown egg when the shell is brown, but a brown egg where the protein part is brown. So what? I don't like that. So at the ramen place, that's brown because of sesame oil, I would say?

It's just soaking in the stuff. It's soaking in the broth and all the stuff. It's all soaked it up. But I don't like the look of that. How about this? On this booze show, I don't think we've ever talked about those bar jars of... There's a scene in the Ladies' Man movie where they're eating pickled eggs. I've never had a pickled egg.

Yes, they're delicious. And Philips, the French dip place downtown. Philips? They have pig knuckles. Pickled pig knuckles. And they fished it out of a big jar for me. Ate it. I ate it.

It wasn't very good. Would you do a Rocky Mountain oyster? I've done it. I did it in Denver. Did you like it? You know, it's very deep fried, and then you kind of dip it in horseradish, and yeah, it's delicious. Pig knuckles. Jeff, last time I was here, you were showing me your moose knuckle.

Yeah. Yeah, I did. That was between us, Mike. Yeah, the answer is yes. Yes, yes. You put on your underpants, and you hiked way up to your armpits. He said, check me out. And I said, wow, look at that.

All right. Don't do that anymore. Final thoughts. Or again, classic. I mean, what are we talking about? It's a classic. You can't get a better drink. Order for the rest of my life.

Drink it till I'm dead. I always think, you know, how we talked about maybe last week about how when you say, you hear 99 and you think Wayne Gretzkyky and you say wayne gretzky you hear 230 and you say i gotta go to the dentist those types of things when i hear gin there's a little thing um uh i read this book bride's head revisited when this old grumpy old general was like when i was young i would only have a double portion of gin before bed but now i'm old and i have he was talking about how like as you get older you have more gin before you go to bed it started with a double portion well maybe i don't know i forget the portions but it was

basically saying like when you're young and you have your life ahead of you you don't need you don't need too much he's probably wrong about this you don don't need too much gin. But as an old, grizzled, depressed army general, he had more gin before bed. I think that might be specific to him. I think it's specific to him. But I do think about it every time I drink gin that I'm like, I'm thinking about how much am I having because

when I'm old I'll have a lot of it. So we're having a medium amount today. What was the name of that book? Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Wall. What is it? A fiction? Nonfiction? We should be asking you, Mike.

You're such a... You're a litwit. And he's British, so you're a Brit litwit, aren't you? I am. But where was this book written? This is like his magnum opus. It's a guy that wrote satire so i read all his books and then you i got to his masterpiece that had just no jokes in it what era um he's he wrote this

uh world war or maybe like 30s ish my blind spot shit fuck but oh man yeah that's it's interesting though because it's a book about how everything was better in the Victorian era. So it's sort of like if you're us and you're kind of a geriatric millennial and you look at Gen Z and you're like, this is all wrong. Yeah, make it like it was. It's funny to hear somebody 100 years ago being like, this is fine. But in the old days, things were just. It's funny thinking of like, what was the period when that person was like Oh the black plague era was great Oh man when we were all dying at age 30

That was good Are you guys on mucking about Yeah Are you ready for a little Oh right right right I forgot about this The quiz Here's how it's gonna go We've played this quiz before

You will be visited by the specters Of episodes past And you have to guess The cocktail based on the episode description Oh this is a good quiz Damn it This is a good quiz Why?

Congratulate him on a great quiz idea that you did good give him a vibrate at least I'm going to have to do a lot of talking a vibrate you reacted just as much to the vibrate damn it's scary I know but this is interesting

the pain of the zap is not as bad as the anxiety of the anticipation I think that's what you do with your dog you give of the zap is not as bad as the anxiety of the anticipation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what you do with your dog. You give him the zap, and then you go, okay, just vibrate from now on. I don't have a dog. What are you talking about? I thought I was your dog.

Okay, okay. This is 13 questions. Rapid fire style. Okay. Number one. I'm so bad at remembering these. Oh, I should say, we did this around episode 50 or 52 yeah yeah like the year mark or episode 50 so these would be drinks between okay then and now

i'm so bad i remember these remembering these because this is drunk during the show and i don't remember it's gonna be hard but there's some good keywords you'll pick up on it okay ready here we go question number one the guys make an infamous blue beverage. Blue. A variation on the Long Island Ice Tea. Hawaii. Oh, adios, motherfucker. Tim.

Cat man is on the board. That was blue? Shit, I saw that on a menu very recently, and I meant to text you guys. Yeah, I saw one at Buffalo Wild Wings. Yard House. Yard House. Probably both. Yeah. Next question. The guys try a bourbon champagne cocktail

once believed to be the, quote, forgotten house. Sealback. Sealback. Sealback. Episode 90. Tim. Do not remember that drink at all. At all. We didn't like it. I'm sure. That was the hoax drink.

The guy lied. Yes. Yes. Number three. The guy celebrate Mardi Gras with the official cocktail of New Orleans. Sazerac. Sazerac. Tim.

Three for Tim. That's a hat trick. Wengoreski. Brideshead revisited. You drink a lot of gin. Now ask me this. Who had the most hat tricks in his NHL career? Who had the most hat tricks in his NHL career?

I think Wayne Gretzky. Could have been Howe or Lemieux. It could have been Red Hole. We don't know. We don't know. I don't know. We don't know. La Palette or we don't know.

The answer is we don't know. Hard to know. Number four. The guys mix up an aromatic long drink from the Argentinian college town of Bordeaux. For the in-detail. Ah. Damn. I got two things fighting against me.

Three things. I get too drunk in these episodes. Can't remember because it wipes my memory. Two. Did you say white boy memory? Wipes my memory. I got a case of white boy memory. Two. I'm drunk now of white boy memory. Two.

I'm drunk now, so I can't recall anything. Why are we so drunk of these fuckers, man? I didn't have any breakfast. I didn't eat anything. You know what I had to eat today? Yeah. M Drive. Tim. That's it. Okay, and the third reason I can't even remember because

what are we talking about? Yeah, Jeff. Steph, would you zap him? Jesus Christ. Number five. Batter up. The guys heat up a hot holiday throwback. Perfect for caroling and roasting chestnuts and stuff. Wassle fuss.

Tom and Jerry. Yes. Wassle fuss. Wassail. Wassle fuss. Wassail,sel Fuss. Wassel. Wassel Fuss. Wassel, yeah, yeah. No. Number six. The guys test a hangover drink so strong, it may even bring the dead back to life.

Corpse Reviver. Corpse Reviver number two. Damn. You know, just out of pity, I'm going to give it to Hanford. He's got it. Yeah, I'm having a good time. Here's the thing.

We're in Jeff's living room, and I just saw he's got push-up bars. Look careful. The dust is flying off of him. You're getting it in your drink. It lifted. They've been so infrequently used. You haven't even lived here long enough for that much dust. These were moved here in Dusty.

You packed them up Dusty and moved them in. Next question. The guys get their hands on some raw sugar cane juice for a classic that predates tiki culture. Oh, shit. This was that kind of weird. Planter's Punch. Yep.

Catchy-ass song. Not what I was thinking of. Not what I was thinking of. You know it's got juice cane. Oh, yeah. Which Jeff nominated a song of the summer Yeah But you wouldn't know that until you

Fly on over to the Patreon blowout Guys for $5 a month you can hear the Sloppy Boys Do a whole other episode every week You like us kind of like Drunk and goofy right now Well we always record the blowouts After So they're worse

Next question And now, well, we always record the blowouts after this. How about that? So they're worse. Next question. The guys make a drink created by the legendary James Bond, one of the silver screen's foremost alcoholics. Vesper. Yes, Michael. Very good. Very good. Thank you.

That's an interesting factoid that it came from there. It wasn't just featured in that. Yeah. But like Ian Fleming introduced it. Yeah. And his character. That's the girl in the book is Vesper. James Bond made it. Ian Fleming made

James Bond make it. Ian Fleming asked his friend who was a bar gender, can you help me come up with a drink for my book, Casino Royale? It would be like if we these days were drinking a Fast Five Old Fashioned. Right.

Yes. Right. I really took a lot of swings to get that. Yeah. It would be like if we were having a Hobbs and Shaw martini. Give me the show. Next question. The guys settle in with a trusty classic from the dawn of the cocktail

what old-fashioned Tim wow I just said it I should that should have counted

yeah that really should have counted you got too many fucking stuff please have him

please not my best episode description okay next question his whole brain

is electricity right now I can't even think I do feel like tweak. I do feel like I'm on edge. It just sort of vibrated. Me too, though.

Next question. In this great episode, the guys mix scotch and scotch-based liqueur. Ooh. This is a good one, too. Rusty Nail. Yeah, Tim, damn. Dram-boo.

Dram-boo. That was a big Gale episode. Really good. Because we said Rusty Gale, more like Rusty Gale. Boy, Gale, you'd think she would have been a household name by now, but really you had to listen to the Sloppy Boys pod to hear about Gale. She really overtook the pod for a little while. Yeah.

We hated it, but. No, I liked it. My computer flickered again and it was not Zap related. Flickering? I don't like that. Next question. Genius bar. I mean, Flickr is one of my favorite photography websites.

Websets. I know you're a regular at the hotel bar. We got to take you down to the genius bar. Thank you. Jeff, next one. This guy's always in the hotels. The guys make the sexiest cocktail in the whole damn IBA. Sex on the beach. No guys make the sexiest cocktail in the whole damn IBA. Sex on the Beach.

No. Between the Sheets. Yes. Invented by Harry. Not alone. The 69. That was episode 69, though. Very good, Mike.

Nice. I'll give you a side point for that. How about that? One and a half points for me. No, two points. Two and a half points, Mike. Tim's got nine. we go any any um is this the last question no there's two more okay any any uh boosts protein boost i'll keep

keep an eye out for a boost are there any like uh red shells where i can knock tim's points out and i collect them in my um there isn't a red shell, but there is one of those lightning bolts. Oh, fuck! You got lightning... Wait, now she's doing it just when you say lightning. That's funny, because I was saying... Slow down. Slow down.

You did get one of those lightning bolts. Oh, so that's... Everyone's coins. So now Tim is small. Oh, so I can squish him? You can squish him. Okay. Can you

so if you get this next question Uh-huh. He's squished for good. You just win. Wow. But this is so Mike

Am I the only one to answer this, Tim? Is this only directed to Mike? No, no. You can both answer but Mike has the unique opportunity to squish

Tim. I choose... It's so strange because the score is nine to two and a half. Yeah. But Tim, you're really small now. It's like I'm already squished. You've become small. I got shrunk.

So you're vulnerable, Tim. I'm going to use my... This doesn't show up most a lot in Mario Kart. It's very rare. It's actually never even showed up in a quiz board. No, what I'm going to use is the duct tape. So I throw a duct tape and it slaps Tim's mouth shut. So now I can only answer this question.

That's weird. Just for this question. It's weird. It's kind of kinky though. I don't know if, you know, I think actually, unfortunately, my character in the race

got a razor blade and cut Tim's mouth open. That means that the question is too easy to only be directed at you. Wait, there went Toad, the 32-year-old. So those are all of our turns and all the items we can get on this round. Have fun in your shack year, Toad. Okay, I'm lost. What's the question?

Okay, here's the question. And again, you can both answer, but if Mike gets it, he just wins, Tim. But there's one question after this. Yeah, I'm lost. What's the question? Okay, here's the question. And again, you can both answer, but if Mike gets it, he just wins. But there's one question after this. Yeah, I know. But that's the thing about this. Are we still going to hear that other one or will it just be gone? Maybe you answer that one. If you get it, the game keeps going.

If he gets it, the game is over. Okay. Here we go. What if Steph knows it? Then we go to Rainbow Road. Here we go. The guys increase their virility with a gin drink created in 1920s Paris. Monkey Gland.

Tim. Oh, yes. He's right. I remember that. Because I remember introducing that one. I introduced that. It takes a good man. That checks out.

You read the history of it and you told me about it. I'm sort of fast back checking in my brain. Yeah, Tim's got it. And with that, Tim returns a good man. That checks out. You read the history of it and you told me about it. I'm sort of fast back checking in my brain. Yeah, Tim's got it. And with that, Tim returns to full size. Actually, a little bigger. Big Tim. He's had too many of those blue G's olives. A little too much M drive.

All right, final question. This is just for ceremonious at this point, but the guys mix red wine and coke for a festive Kelly Mojo yes

time out time out time out I just want to say congrats to Mike time in thank you so much

you're welcome well hold on let me time you in officially okay we're back now we haven't mentioned that I brought you guys

yes beautiful stainless steel toothpicks that have little, what do you call that? Like little martini charms at the end. Charms. Charms. Mike's is a shaker. Yeah, the shaker.

But I don't know what this is. The jigger. Oh, that's a shaker. Jeff's is a shaker. Now, I had ones that had olives in a martini glass, but I lost them. I like these. These look like Monopoly pieces to me.

This is what Tim is usually banging when he's doing his. Right. And what you can do with these toothpicks is you can slide them in your pee hole. Just to clear out any debris. I would advise against that, listener. Me too. No, me too. Because also, if you got the one.

These are dirty. My hands have been all over these. Well, you'd wash it. Okay. Sterilize it. I got to give a little color commentary to the listener right now. If anyone's wondering, is Hanford a real New Yorker? We know he lives in New York.

I'm looking at his phone right now. He's got a MetroCard peeking out of the back of his phone case. Come on. That is the Empire State. I'm so New York. I got the MetroCard. I'm a little distracted. I'm wondering how the Yankees are doing today.

I hope they win the pennant. That's one half of my brain. The other half of my brain is wondering how the Mets are doing. And how we can get Koch out of City Hall for a second. He's messing up. No, the way he's doing, it's unbelievable. I'm proud of myself for winning the quiz. i get any scratch off money or anything that's up to you jeff what do you say oh yeah um yes you do great yeah what do you like get like what like like 20 30 like

scratch offs like what do you do uh scratch off like actual scratch off tickets fucking hi brochen i don't understand why the the nine is not getting the same reaction that the six did. Okay, Tim, here we go. He's drunk. Shock him. Put him on 16 and shock him. Let's go. Put him on a 16.

Okay. Put him on a 16. Okay. Honestly, honestly, I will do the 16. You have to. Yes. Jeff. Hey, if you guys put on the nine on your leg or something.

I'll do nine on my leg. On the episode. I'll do nine on my balls. No. No. Leg. I'll do nine on my balls. If you guys do a leg nine, I'll do a 16 neck right now.

I'll do a leg nine in my sleep. I'll do leg nine. Fire it up, Steph. Steph's shaking her head. I agree with Steph. This is going to be bad. Okay, should we do our leg nines first? No. Let's have a moment of silence. Yeah, we might lose Jeff. Steph, just her head. I agree with Steph. This is going to be bad. Okay, should we do our leg nines first? No, let's have a moment of silence.

Yeah, we might lose Jeff. Steph, just do it. Steph, just go. Wait, wait, no. Jeff, before... Steph, don't hit the button until Jeff says like. Oh, you want a real... And Jeff, you know how Mel Gibson says freedom at the end of Braveheart?

Yeah, he just screams it? That's the sort of... Well, you don't have to scream it but just know that's what that's what he said that he knew what he was so before you turn the dvd over you heard i'm seeing an awful lot of clicking over there go freedom and then vhs i watched tape too um it's also like at the end of the wrestler when he knows doctors told him if he does his move one more time it's gonna kill him and he jumps anyway okay here's the unfortunate thing because you did vibrate most recently it cranked up the vibrate so you're

gonna have to press zap to get it over to zap and then turn it up to 16 okay so we're doing a zap on not just yeah i think it maybe the one click will just get it over to you want this on my leg try it no no go oh, now... Now crank it up to fucking 16. Crank it up to 16. Like! Ah! Fuck!

Was that noticeably worse? Yes, yes. All right, give me that one. I felt like for the first... I could, like, kind of see your neck kind of...

I feel like my hair is standing up on one side. Steph is crying. Steph feels bad for Jeff. All right, Steph, are you on nine? Steph, why did you do that?

Steph, Jeff is your friend. Give him 16. Give him 16. No, no. I'm not doing 16 on my leg. I want to do six. This is for pets. You should have 10.

Okay. All right. 10. Okay. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait. I have to say like.

Just do it. Hold on. So like I. Ow! That was nine? That was nine. And it's, it just is like, it's it just is like it's surprising yeah it sucks stephanie give me 16 on the neck oh are you ready tim like no no no that was that wasn't that that was

he likes it that was right yeah i don't mind it i like it he likes it fuck you i don't mind it I like it he likes it fuck you I don't mind it at all it's good but you well let me see I think it's when you know

if I if I truly Jeff's got no no no no but that's not like burns I think it's just there's just little rubs

if I steal myself I bet you I could I could take one for the team take a 16 with no emotion do it on your fucking i just did that yeah i said i liked it but now i need to he's been jumping around but i've been jumping around this whole time now i need to i didn't like that at all now i need to

prove that i can suffer in silence you're gonna make your butt or something no it's gotta be neck like Tim did okay 16 go for it yes like Tim you strap it I'm going wait okay I'm gonna go strapped and I'm gonna well my next too big for the strap I'm gonna go strapped on the Adams apple and Steph when I say like, you hit the button as hard as you can, okay? I fucking can't believe you did that without a word. You know what it is? I don't know if it's working. You know what it is, though, honestly?

The pride of the Greeks. Oh. I'm right on the Adam's apple. Like! Ah! Like! That's like a Wilhelm scream. That's how they got the Wilhelm. That's bad. I don't like this thing. I don't like this thing.

I don't want it here anymore. You know what? I think when I put it on my neck before, I put it on the side, but kind of farther back to a fatty part of the neck. But this was getting me right on the larynx. Oh, boy. That was fucked up.

Let me try it. Snap! On 16? This is devilish. You're going to zap yourself? Are you going neck? Yeah. I haven't done neck yet. I only did to zap yourself? Are you going neck? Yeah. Oh, shit.

I only did my leg. I jumped off the roof. As a woman, I'm supposed to have a higher pain tolerance. This is true because you can have childbirth, yeah. She's doing it to herself. You're doing 16? This is brave. Look, she has the sensor in her hand.

You got to say like. I have to say like. Okay. Like. That's so funny to got to say like. I have to say like. Okay. Like. That's so funny to watch you say calmly. All right, let me do

I should do 16. She took it. She took it. I should do 16 on the neck. All right, you got to do it. But I'm not putting it in my hands. Oh, that's crazy.

You guys are also crazy. Probably have a little liquid courage at this point. There you go. Get it on there tight. There's something scary about wearing it. It's very loose. Remember when I told the story about my claustrophobic freakout?

No, not me. During a wardrobe fitting? This is a similar thing. When you clip that on there, it's a little... Jeff, you've been dealing with that all day of like, ooh, this is clipped onto me. It's kind of scary. I'm sorry, I don't think 16 was that bad.

Steph. Okay. Jeff was taking a six and he was screaming. No, I jumped a little bit. Wait, you don't... Just hold it to your neck. It's fine. No, clip it. It's scarier. Like... Ow! Ow!

Ow! It's my whole... You looked out the window. Your whole side of your body. Like it went down to my arm. Oh. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys

where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also, be sure to check out our Patreon where we do the blowout. We talk about it all the time. Folks, you got to get on there. That's good content. It's the Patreon.com slash the birthday boys. You get the app.

It's better. What did I say? Birthday. They suck. They don't get shocked. Happy 100, guys. Happy 100. Hey, here's to a few more.

Yeah. Here's to two more. We're ending it up. 102. Ding. Ding. Steph, great job thank you Steph

thanks Steph shout out to the pod and from now on Steph will be here zapping us for every episode yeah big shout out to the pod yeah I feel like that neck

zap fucked me up I can still feel it in my forehead it woke me up I'm feeling skittish yeah I thought I was gonna be so brave when I took it on the Adam's apple that I screamed.

I can't wait to hear that. I don't love this. Folks, we'll see you next week. Bye. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys