The Sloppy Boys - 12. Cuba Libre (Rum and Coke)

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

This revolutionary rum drink takes the guys back to historic Havana.CUBA LIBRE RECIPE1.7oz/50ml White Rum4oz/120ml Coca-Cola.33oz/10ml Lime JuiceBuild all ingredients in a highball glass filled with ice. Garnish with lime wedge.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello Jeff. And Tim Kalpakis. What's going on Jeff? And we're your hosts the Sloppy Boys. Guys, I'm fine. Good.. What's going on, Jeff? And we're your hosts, the Sloppy Boys. Guys, I'm fine. I'm fine. You good. You sound mad that you're fine. No, I'm fine.

Just being emphatic. Jeff, do you ever consider on the opening there saying, and with me as always is Mike and Tim, and then we both say hello together? I feel like that would be a train wreck. Yeah, that might be a fuck up. We could try it mean the movie train wreck was a big hit so you never know yeah if we could get a hater in here that'd be great proved hater is a leading man oh hater would do this pod are you kidding me in a heartbeat he loves it tell him he could do stephan and i'll be here oh tim i saw one of your scary movies the other night oh blair witch never

seen it you've never seen blair witch well i grew up near the woods so i was too scared you lived i had enough woods around me to inhabit three or four blair witches so i said i'm gonna steer clear of that how about that shot of the kid in the corner, huh? Well, honestly, because Tim played it up, I was just like, oh, okay. I saw that movie in a packed theater and it was terrifying. Me too, and it was the first found footage movie, so that felt so weird to be, I was at a mall at a Megaplex, but watching something on a little shaky cam, that's cool. I thought the actors were really good. Thank you. I i mean it's

clearly like the whole thing is an experiment and i've since read up on how they did send them into the woods with cameras and they did wake them up in the middle of the night really but i thought in general like everybody did really good i expected kind of like cheesy college actors that was the that was one of the first movies that was like the big story was how low the budget was and like how much it was making. Yeah, because it was like $9,000 or something like that. Yeah, and it's been raking

in millions. I think it made over $10,000. They shot it in New Paltz, New York, which is my part of the country. um there I think there's a sequel too which I've heard is not great like it's not the same found footage you said right it's just like a normal movie with a witch and a long nose and a broom I'll get you my pretties I wouldn't mind getting a broom like that in my apartment some of these days I can see on the Zoom you got dust everywhere.

Yeah, there's one fleck of dust over there. I would get a broom for that. I turned on the other day Scary Movie 5. I think it's on Netflix. And it was not as good as the other great ones. Really? No, not as good as 1 through 4.

Usually 5 is when a series hits its stride. It opens with Charlie Sheen and... Ben Vareen. Sheen and Vareen. No, Lindsay Lohan. And they're both like playing up their like, you know, security bracelets where they're not supposed to leave the house and all that type of thing. And they're having sex with each other. And it's like a paranormal activity spoof.

It's weird that all those, the movie movies that spun off of that too, they had all these recent pop culture references that now, you know, it's hard to even do a joke on late night talk shows because everyone's been joking about everything on Twitter all day. Imagine trying to make a comedy movie.

Right. They're just like making fun of Charlie Sheen for stuff he did a year ago. Yeah. Why did we ever stand for that? I know. God, Tiger Blood winning. Yeah. Charlie Sheen was winning a lot back in those days.

Was Tiger Blood something he was drinking? Am I wrong about that? He like... I think he said like, I'm winning. I'm, I drink. I think it was like just... Does he have Tiger Blood or does he drink Tiger Blood? Is he the Tiger King?

I don't think Tiger Blood was a real thing. I think he's just saying like, I'm so great. I got Tiger Blood. Okay. But he like said he, that's what he said. He said it all right. Hey, that's what he said. That's it all right. Hey, that's what he said. That's what he said.

That's what Sheen said. Hey guys, did you hear that? What, that's what Sheen said? No, it's off in the distance, but I can hear it getting closer. Oh yeah, let me see. Oh, it's the unmistakable sound of booze news, everybody. This is

kind of cool. Well well first a little baby news flash and then something that's legitimately cool one look what i'm drinking here today side by side a miller high life with a miller genuine draft hey don't don't cross the streams tim yeah i got news for you buddy oh mikey i got MGD happening over here, too. It's great. It's delicious. It's great. And I had one of these MGDs last week, and then you guys said, and I was comparing it to High Life, and you guys were like, well, it would have been cooler if you had them both at the same time.

So I spent the whole week being like, oh, I'll show those guys. Those guys are not cool. I am very cool, Jessica. I am very, very cool. And she's like, yeah, oh, I know. those guys. Those guys are not cool. I am very cool, Jessica. I am very, very cool. And she's like, yeah, oh, I know. You're Mr. Awesome. You have tiger blood winning. Thank you.

Take a sip, Tim. Give us a sip by sip. Here's the iLife. Gold. You could hear it. He sipped it. And here's the MGD. Which one's lighter?

Which one feels, you know? What's funny is that the MGD is supposed to be, it's Miller Genuine Draft, so it's supposed to taste like it's on tap. Full bodied. But I don't really know what that means. Okay. But here's where, they're both delicious. They taste very similar, but I'll say this. You know that High Life has this one distinct flavor to it.

It's like Miller High Life. It's kind of perfumey almost. It's a little pinch on the tongue. It is a little pinch on the tongue. It hits me in a way that like it doesn't taste like celery, but it hits my tongue where celery hits my tongue or like where gin hits your tongue. And that distinct flavor is just not present in mgd but also it's not replaced with

anything else so mgd is just kind of like an empty an empty mouth was i talking about this on mgd or we were talking about how it kind of looks like if you were in the woods you'd see a bunch of these laying around like a bunch of teens yeah i brought that up to several people and they all like had the same, like thought, I don't know. I still don't know why that is. I think it's because it's black, black label.

It's scary. And in the Blair witch project, remember those little bundles of twigs they found? Yeah. Those were stuck together with an MGD label. Wow. I think in my memory at least. Yeah.

Um, but I'm going to give the, I'm going to give the edge to MGD. I like this one better. It's a drinkable glugger. Now, I wonder if you weren't telling people here, you had a big 22-ounce can of the High Life. Yeah, tell them, Mike.

Tell them. Now, I wonder what it would taste like if it was both bottles. Yes, because you got the MGD in the nice bottle right if if you guys would have just kept your damn mouths shut well just this feels it's good that you're getting there but i think you've got a lot more work to do tim you didn't get us we got you dude what if i what if i pour them out both into glasses pour them in the same glass. I'll pour them up your ass if you don't shut up in a second. Pour them into the same glass. Oh, wait.

Okay, no. Let's get into the real interesting news. Ready? This is the headline news. Headline and booze news. That was your teaser. This is the headline news. This is very cool.

A few weeks ago on the pod, I was talking about a historical figure named Diamond Jim Brady. That's right. Who was famous in New York because he ate so much. And Mike Hanford, what did you say? I said, I piped up and I said, hey, wait a minute. I think maybe that the Simpsons- Stop the show. I gotta say something. We cut that part out, but please, please let me speak. And then Jeff said, Tim, let the mans. He's got something to say. It's probably going to be dumb. Then on The Simpsons, Mayor Quimby's name is Diamond Joe

Quimby. And I thought to myself, hey, those guys, those Simpsons writers were all like smarty guys and knew about history. And that might just be the type of thing they know and would rename a character after. Tim, what do you got? We said, that's an interesting query, Michael, but we'll never know. And then we got a message from Instagram user Red Danson, and he did a little legwork. He messaged famed Simpsons writer Bill Oakley, who you know of Oakley and Weinstein.

They ran the show back in some of the very good seasons. Good seasons on those guys. Really good. Great seasons. Fantastic. So one of our fans on Instagram said, hey, Bill Oakley, the sloppy boys were talking about this thing. Does Diamond Joe Quimby have anything to do with Diamond Jim Brady? And

it is confirmed. Bill Oakley said, yes, I wasn't there at the time, but I know that the Simpsons writers were very familiar with Diamond Jim Brady because he was in the Guinness Book of World Records. And it was a thing that they used to joke around about. Like they just, I could imagine like in a writer's room, you just have a Guinness book and you're like flipping through it and saying, look at this. thing look at this yeah it was like it was an old book from the 70s and that's just it feels like the exact type of trivia that old guard those guys would know yeah yeah yeah well that's how did this person uh red dancing did he get in touch with does he know bill oakley it's just he slid into the dms slid into the dms and now i think they're getting married oh good good for them well i hope it works out um you know i think think I had heard that Mr. Burns,

they had like an old dictionary from like the 20s or something, and that's where they got a lot of his. Conan has said that. Yeah, yeah. It's like where they got a lot of his weird, I don't know, the way he would talk about things in such an odd way. Terms, terms. Where do we get the terms for our show?

I use the most up-to-date dictionary. Yeah. Me over here, I got a little microfiche. I will sometimes, while we're recording and we're talking, I'll be Googling. I'll just, I'll Google most recent terms of all. And then some will pop up and I'll try to drop them into my sentences. I like how at the end of every year, Webster's always like, okay, well, we've added some words to the dictionary. This year it's Bitmoji. It's never anything cool. Aren't we hip still?

We're talking about your texting. Oh, it made me sad when they added dumpster fire. Well, hey, you're not going to get out of 2020 without talking about a dumpster fire. They did. I'm glad 2021 looks like it's going to be smooth sailing. Yeah, I think it'll be a dumpster, let's say a cool. An ice cold dumpster. A cool day at the dumpster.

A dumpster lagoon, a hidden away paradise lagoon. An oasis of heavenly dumpster. In a dumpster. A dumpster lagoon. A hidden away paradise lagoon. An oasis of heavenly dumpster. In a dumpster. I just want to say, I feel like people have been saying dumpster fire for like a long time. Oh, ten years. Garbage men, firemen, there were a lot

of people. Hot mess. Yeah. Hot mess, dumpster fire, campfire of ghoulishness. Bonfire of the vanities sure sure all right let's wrap that thing up wrap it up and that's all for booze news thanks for listening anybody else have anything no yeah i was hoping somebody, what is that, CNN? Dateline? What is that? I like that one. Okay, folks, that brings us

to the drink of the day. This is a good one. Now I'm going to artfully regurgitate some Wikipedia. Okay. But make it sound as if it's just coming off the top of your head. Like you're just imagining it. Yeah, just look around the room and say,

oh, and did I mention this? I'm just spitting this one off the dome. Cool. He's cool. You're like a eight mile guy. Oh yeah, B-Rabbit? Wait, was that his character's name? Yeah.

Oh. B-Rabbit. Well, the role was played by Marshall Mathers. Yes. A.K.A. Slim Shady. And I'll admit, I stan Eminem. Tim. What?

Oh, I can't have fun on my own podcast. Folks, we're talking about the Cuba Libre. Hell yeah. Cuba Libre. If you search this, the Wikipedia doesn't have an entry for Cuba Libre. It just goes straight to rum and Coke. But this podcast aims to shine a proper light on the Cuba Libre. This is a drink in itself, folks, and it's worthy of your attention.

This is a historically significant drink. Oh. Do you guys know anything about the Cuba Libre? Not a dime. I know about the rum and coke. I got a lot of thoughts and feelings on rum and cokes. Honestly, Tim, it doesn't even come into play when we're discussing the Cuba Libre. So I should maybe exit the pod.

even come into play when we're discussing the Cuba Libre. So I should maybe exit the pod. Guys, this drink was first created in Cuba in the early 1900s. But of course, like a lot of our drinks, the details are disputed. But we're going to get to the bottom of it. It's at the stage. So it's 1898. America's back in Cuba in their fight for independence from Spain and what we now call the Spanish-American War. And basically how it all shakes out is Spain leaves Cuba and the U.S. gets Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines. Now, all the while, Cuba's been home to what's become the biggest name in rum. Bacardi, baby. You know Bacardi. Oh, now we're getting somewhere.

And as part of U.S. presence in Cuba, newly exported Coca-Cola is arriving in Havana. Okay. Coke bottled for the first time right around the 1900s. And Havana, despite being a real warm weather city, is known for its iced drinks. Because it's such a hub, it's got a pipeline for ice shipped down from the cooler north. Huh. The stage is set. You got American soldiers with the coke.

Cubans got the best rum. Boom. They're mixing them together, celebrating Cuba's freedom. And the slogan of Cuban independence is Cuba Libre. Free Cuba. Damn. Wow. It's simple, cheap, the ingredients are ubiquitous, and it's hard

to fuck up. That is cool, yeah. I did read that, I think on the Wikipedia it was like a hard drink to mess up. Cool believer. That's cool that it's like the name of the drink is about an event. It's a revolution. A drink with some significance. Yeah. It's not like sex on the beach.

I guess that's an event too. We have a lot of drinks on this show where it's just like, hey, a bartender made it up, but then this other bartender said that maybe he made it up. It's nice to know this one has significance. And for that first generation of people drinking it, they felt like they were supporting a cause. Yeah. Well, I feel like our listeners can support a cause here. Our podcast, if you make this drink and listen, you're supporting the podcast.

Yeah, it's very important. Thanks for supporting the podcast. Yeah, support the pod. I feel like where do you guys in your life, where'd you encounter rum and coke? Because I didn't know any of that history. It makes sense it came out of Cuba. And I had not heard the

term Cuba Libre until fairly recently. But rum and coke is like i remember old bacardi ads and there's like really great looking magazine ads from bacardi but i feel like i think of a rum and coke as being like this kind of yuppie if you're like a a worldly new yorker in the 80s and you, well, usually I drink white wine or Heineken or a Bartles and James wine. One of these new cosmos everyone's talking about. Yeah, exactly. Hanging out at fern bars. I feel like the rum and Coke, I think of that like a worldly yuppie in New York getting a rum and Coke because they had it on vacation down in the Caribbean or something like

that. It's funny. I think of it also, we have called this drink many times a Roman Coke as a joke of splashing those words together. But I had always thought of a rum and Coke as like a not, you know, when you hear like, Oh, if someone orders chicken at a steakhouse, they just kind of don't really know what they're doing.

I kind of feel like this know what they're doing. I kind of feel like this is one of those drinks. It's one of those where like, if you're talking to someone at a bar and they're like, okay, what do you want? And you're like, Oh, um,

just give me a rum and Coke. It's like, uh, I know what that is easy or Jack and Coke type of thing too. It's just like, uh, I know it's two things I know how to say. You can't really fuck it up.

I haven't thought about this much. Give that to me. It feels collegey because in college, you're not even drinking Jack Daniels. It's't thought about this much. Give that to me. It feels college-y because in college you're not even drinking Jack Daniels. It's like college, you're going for sweet rums over bitey whiskeys, tangy whiskeys.

Right, it does feel college-y because of how easy it is too. The same way a screwdriver feels easy in college. It's two things that are readily available and also it's kind of got this lowbrow, it's kind of got like a lowbrow vibe. You know, if it didn't have this revolutionary war backstory, we would dismiss it entirely. Right. Well, I think it's lowbrow to our generation,

but I do think having a Bacardian Coke was sort of like an interesting move in the 70s and 80s. But we came of age in like the most boring cocktail time where it really was just a liquor and a mixer. And it would just be like vodka, cranberry, blank and blank or blank and blank. And then like rum and Coke was one of those. But I don't feel people order these a lot. And I could imagine making a comeback because it's kind of healthy. If you get a rum and diet, it's only like 60 calories or something. So, and it's easy to make.

It seems, I have an association with it in like a clear plastic Miller light glass, a cup, you know what I mean? Like you go to a bowling bar a bowling alley bar and you get like a rum and coke in one of those types of cups you're making my mouth water it's just that's the sort of so same way this uh mgd feels like it's found in the woods i don't know just the connection yeah i'm just pulling these feel i'm pulling the vibes together over here well this writer charles coulomb who seems like a bozo otherwise. I love his prose.

Yeah. He had a nice little write-up. And he says that the Cuba Libre is, quote, a potent symbol of a changing world order. The marriage of rum, lubricant of the old colonial empires, and Coca-Cola, icon of modern American global capitalism, seems to reflect perfectly the historical elements of the old colonial empires and Coca-Cola icon of modern American global capitalism seems to reflect perfectly the historical elements of the modern world. And I said, Charles, you got that one right there. Yeah.

I feel it. I like Chuck. You guys want to get into the recipe? Yeah. Yes. It's a pretty simple one. A nice easy one for a change. And you can see this in the show notes. You got your rum.

I'm going to do this in milliliters because it's so much easier. I'm going to lead with milliliters. 50 milliliters of rum or 1.69 ounces. Okay. Right. 120 milliliters of Coca-Cola or four ounces. 10 milliliters of lime juice or 0.33 ounces. Although if you look this up, you'll see IBA is kind of being sticklers here. Any proportions can be used. Traditionally,

it's light rum, although others have been used. Some early recipes also call for bitters or gin instead of rum. Other colas have been used, even Moxie. And in Cuba, Coca-Cola has not been imported since the U.S. embargo of 1960, so they use the domestic Tukola. So this thing is insanely flexible. It's ever-shifting. It's ever-shifting.

But here's the hard line, and this is what I want, this is what's really important to me and to us on the whole pod here. Yeah. Lime. Lime is what distinguishes the Cuba Libre from the rum and Coke. That was news to me. Although, depending on where you order a rum and Coke, you might also end up with a lime in it.

It always comes with a lime on the garnish. Not the bowling alley. It's the same drink. Let's be honest. No, no. Tim, I've gotten a rum and Coke. You don't get a lime. You always get a lime on the, you know, a garnish wedge. He doesn't always

get a lime. He knows what a lime is. Look at him. He's not stupid. Oh, shit. Hey, don't tell me about a lime. He looks like an idiot, but he's not stupid. What do you think that green fruit is perched on the top of your glass all the time? Why? How long has that been there? I thought that was nothing but a

unripe banana. Well, let's make these things up. I'm getting... Hey, wait, no, hold on real quick. Remember when we lived together and we had a lemon tree? Yeah. When we first moved in, some of the lemons were unripe and they were green and the other lemons were ripe and they were yellow. And we thought the green ones were limes. We were like, oh, it's a sprite tree. Yes, yes. Yes, we were very smart.

We moved into that house when we were in fifth grade. Yeah. Well, you guys want to get to it? Yes. Great. See ya. Folks, we'll be right back talking about the cuba libre peace okay folks we're back talking about the cuba libre welcome back to the show

yeah welcome back to the pod this one took me a little longer because i actually juiced a lime wow yeah you juiced it what do you mean you like put it in a juicer no i got one of those handle things where you take half a lime and you squeeze it between like two cups and it squirts out the the nectar two cups one jeff yeah oh no that's gonna go viral and i used a uh mexican coke me too oh no corn syrup just straight sugar baby cool sugar you know people talk about how much better these are so So I used one and I love it, but then I also had a normal Coke in my fridge and I said, me too.

I bought one of each. Have you tasted them? Cause I'm going to going back and forth on the, on the right now. You're doing too many taste tests tonight. Just enjoy it. Let's do first sips and then we'll talk about Cokes and stuff. Wait,

what if my whole thing was taste test, Tim, like at find me online at taste test Tim. Yeah, like you can do your own podcast or something with that. You can get the fuck out of here. I'm not doing that shit. Dude, I would take the first ticket out of here that I could find.

If I had the chance to do my own podcast, I would. And then you guys would be trying to replace me with some, hey, welcome to Sloppy Way Show. It's Mike and Jeff and Rick Casino. then you guys would be trying to uh replace me with some uh hey welcome to uh slobby way show it's mike and jeff and uh a rick casino rick casino how do you do it man do you have rick casino's contact info rick casino you you search on google like kelpacus like people and then you get all these different guys come out it's like Dirk Winnebago

alright first sips okay first sips here we go well I've got something floating in mine and I don't like placing the straw into the mouth crumb of some sort holy shit that's good that's good. Holy shit, that's good.

That's good. That lime, which I've never had in one of these before, that makes it. Oh yeah. The lime, come on. I didn't feel like I was squeezing that much lime, but that is limey. I have a lime,

this is a little bit of a lime on the older side and it was rock hard. I had to like saw through it with a serrated knife. I don't know. How do you pick a lime? Are they supposed to be soft? Yeah, I mean they're just supposed to be like an orange or whatever, but like this was

old. Like we had it around for a while. I was petrified by the fridge. Mine was, it had the feeling in my hand of almost like a beanbag. It was like a brown beanbag. It was a turd. This is shocking to me because when I think of a rum and Coke, usually I guess I, most people would use, or I have used spice rum like Captain Morgan or something. Yeah. rum like captain morgan or something yeah and then it it does that sort of vanilla you know

it makes it taste like milkshakey or some or cinnamony or something this is not this is a whole different affair did you guys get bacardi me too i did i did bacardi white white bacardi um i put mine i got a little one i put in the freezer, which I always forget to do that with liquors, but it's nice. It comes out cold. I did mine to the letter, although I did add maybe a little more lime juice, and I'm glad I did. Me too. Since I'm not used to having limes in this, I dumped a ton in,

and I ain't complaining. When you walked into your kitchen, you were like, there's some limes in this house. there's some limes in this house. There's some limes in this house. Not for long. I will say, one of my biggest blunders in this drink, I put ice in the ice trays like right before, I don't know, like 7 o'clock. And they did that thing where like,

it's like an ice cube with a lot of water on the inside. Yeah. They're like little aquariums. Yeah. Yeah, it's like an ice cube with a lot of water on the inside yeah oh yeah they're like little aquariums yeah yeah it's a little snow globe it's fun um so what's happening now have they kind of caved in at this point yeah a lot of them are just kind of like down to just like the thickest sheet man this is so much better than the um than a rum and coke well i can't wait to talk about rum and cokes on the rum and coke episode tim we're not doing a rum and coke episode and if you you know what i want to wring your little neck yeah good luck on the iba list i

think it says uh also known as a rum and coke no it's absolutely also known as no No. No, no. This is a Cuba Libre. Cuba Libre. I like it. Guys, let me draw your attention back to the movie Cocktail. Sure. Ordering a Cuba Libre. Can I please have a glass of water? She doesn't know how to make it.

Where's my Jim Beam on the rock? It's coming. I'm not leaving till I get my Cuba Libre. Excuse me. Can I have an order, Allison? This is what I ordered. Ordering a Cuba Libre. sounds like Tim you gotta picture that the audio of that is great but you have to picture that Tom Cruise is freaking out. He's looking up the cocktail in his little

bartender's manual, but he's also just acting so much. He's all over the place. It's nuts. And it's so funny that this is a guy we're supposed to sympathize with that he turns to the waitress and says, you bitch! Well, that's what I told Tim. I was on the phone with Tim. I was like,

okay, so Tim, we're going to do the Cuba Libre. And you were like, what? It's like, yeah, it's from Cuba. It's got like a coconut rum. Well, just call it rum and coke, you bitch. All right, man. You bitch! So he's saying Cuba Libre there.

And we're saying Libre. Because I think we're saying it right. We're saying it right. But I think Cuba's right because people from Cuba say Cuba as their hometown and Americans tend to add a Q sound. That's like the Spanish way of saying Cuba

is Cuba, I believe. Right. So I think with the drink, I think it's Cuba Libre. Cuba Libre. Cuba Libra is not right. And if we're wrong, we apologize. But that is

the association I had with a drink was the type of that bar. That's the... Fern bar. Upper East Side Fern bar in 1987. That's rum and coke central, baby. That's rum and coke country for you. See, I'm still sticking with just give me

a rum and coke because I don't know what I want. See, I'm still sticking with, just give me a rum and Coke. Cause I don't know what I want. Yeah. It's like when you're a kid and you've only had Milwaukee's best, and then you go to a bar for the first time and they're like, what'll it be kid? And you're like, Oh, Roman Coke, please. I remember the, the only thing I could think of before the, I remember the only thing I could think of before the craft beer boom, when I had only ever had just kind of Bush and Keystone and then other normalish beers. I remember that Newcastle was the only beer that I knew of that was like a fancy one. Yeah. And I couldn't afford it. And then eventually being like, actually,ender pour me a new castle we had those

a lot when we first moved to la for some reason i don't know why but uh yeah because i had just won the lottery i think yeah no i think they were like a lot of the bars we went to uh maybe they had made a big push or maybe we just like for whatever reason decided like you know when you're a kid all beer is kind of the same right well it also was like back you have to discover like which beers you like there wasn't too too much to taste before the big explosion it was just like hey well i mean if you have a then you have a budweiser you can't you can't act like one was way different than the other one. You can, but you might be wrong. Here's what I want to ask you guys is I think of those as like when we were in college, I'm an open book. Oh, thank you. Uh, Jeff, are you open to this or are you kind of

closed off? Um, let's hear the question first. Actually, I'm listening. I want to ask you what you, what do you think this term means? Ready? Tell me the first ingredients that come to mind. You're not going to say Cuba Libre, are you? No. Okay. Thank God.

Nor will I say it's synonym rum and Coke. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to say something entitled highball. Yeah. Yeah. What about it? Oh, what the drink is? What do you something entitled highball. Yeah. Yeah. What about it? Oh, what the,

what do you think the highball is? What do you think the word means? Gin. A tall glass. In a, in a Collins glass. Gin in a Collins glass. And Mike,

you just said a tall glass. Just the glass. But that doesn't make sense because it's a highball glass. So a highball must be a cocktail. I, um, you're aware of the Chappaquiddick incident, right? Mm-hmm. The Kennedy thing? The Kennedy thing.

Ted Kennedy. I'm intimately familiar with it. I wrote my dissertation on it. Oh, my God. It's so weird. You, a guy who only has a bachelor's degree, wrote a dissertation. You can write a dissertation anytime you want. Yeah, Tim, let's be clear.

You can write a dissertation. You can write a dissertation anytime you want. Yeah, Tim, let's be clear. You can write a dissertation. Anyone can write a dissertation. It just doesn't hold any weight if you're not in a postgraduate. Sure, I guess I just don't really understand the motivation to get one written. It's just a thirst for knowledge, let's say. Cool.

And I'm wanting to impress a teacher. Oh, a little bit of hot for teacher going on a teacher's bed like that show a t-shirt a t-shirt okay go ahead oh now you're uh uh making me want to watch a fashion show okay hold on let me get back to what i was saying here highball i was reading one time yeah ted ted kennedy it was like this awful tragedy ted kennedy uh got drunk and was driving a car in martha's vineyard and he crashed off a bridge into some water. And then he left a woman in the car and then she died. But he also didn't report it to the police.

He said he dived down and blah, blah, blah, blah. People, you know what it is. It was an awful thing. But I was reading about that night. He was in Martha's Vineyard for a regatta, like a sailboat race. And then on the Wikipedia page, it said. Are you sure he wasn Vineyard for a regatta like a sailboat race and then on the Wikipedia page it said are you sure he wasn't there for a ricotta yeah they said that there was an Italian cheese out on the island and he was there looking for it that's just what I've got to get out to

Chamaquiddick for a ricotta he's the he's the type of guy who will drop everything and go looking for a good ricotta wait what did you say what just say? There's a ricotta out there? Ted Kennedy, by the way. Ted Kennedy, there's a guy with a nice wide face. It's a good look. Yeah, that is a look. Ted Kennedy. It's good to look like him these days is what I'll say.

Yeah, well. According to Wikipedia or wherever I was reading, they were kind of tracking how much he had had to drink that night. And they're like, oh, well, he was having a drink with the boiler room girls after the ricotta. They were like, he had two highballs here and then he had three highballs there and then he had four. And it was like he had eight highballs. And then I read I wanted to corroborate the sources because I'm a journalist. You know me from Booze News.

I read another article that did the same math on how many drinks he had. And they were saying he had two rum and Cokes here. And then he had one rum and Coke there. And then he had a rum and Coke on the boat. And they were interchangeably saying highball with rum and Coke. I thought a highball was whiskey and seltzer, like a Suntory highball or something. whiskey and seltzer, like a Suntory highball or something. I didn't think it was rum and coke. So I looked it up. Turns out highball is a mixed alcoholic drink composed of alcohol-based spirit and a larger portion of a non-alcoholic mixer, often a carbonated beverage. So basically it's liquor and soda, any liquor and any soda. Oh, so this is a highball. it's liquor and soda any liquor and any so so this is a high ball this is a type of high ball but they also said it's alcoholic based spirit and a larger portion of non-alcoholic mixer so any

mixer well any but these are considered long drinks by the iba because they're yeah kind of big kind of weak and um so you're what you're saying is it's another square to rectangle situation where every every cuba libre is a high ball but not all high balls are cuba libre exactamundo and i think that high ball the term when we were in high school i would have just said mixed drink like i would have never said the word cocktail but it was like when there's a mixer and liquor, it's a mixed drink. So that's what a highball is. Damn.

Oh God. I don't even want to tell you guys this. It's so stupid. Mike, go ahead. I heard. We're your friends. I heard.

God. I heard. We were talking about the Guinness book of world records before the tallest man, the Guinness book of world records had a high ball, but you know i see why you didn't really want to i don't want to talk like that well and you're a classy guy it's awful he had one high ball you know among others it said among other among other among

other yes he had one high ball next to his other high ball. Right. But, you know, just because he's so tall, we got to say that. Come on. That's gross. We don't like that. We don't like that. That's the type of thing that other podcasts talk about.

And then we will kind of scoff and we'll text each other. But we don't bring that up here. I know. And I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have said it. No, I know. I mean, you did it reluctantly and we kind of forced you you see you see what i'm getting at um did you know so we're doing the uh cuba libre here now this made me think what nothing keep going reorienting

back to the cuba libre this made me think of whenever I think of Cuba, I often think of remember the song in The Masked Cuban Pete? Yeah. What's his name in that? Stanley Ipkiss. Yeah, Ipkiss. He's kind of surrounded and he's in the mask look and he

sings the Cuban Pete song. We all know the song. It's very lively. I think Desi Arnaz was like... Lucy's husband. That's right. Originally they had a different version of it in the movie and we can listen to it. I have the original version and we

can see why they changed it. It was a different person. It wasn't Cuban Pete they were talking about and the person they were talking about just didn't have the, it just made the song different. So let's take a listen to what that is. Crank it up there, Jeff, so we can hear. Yeah, sure. Curious how you got your hands

on this, but here we go. Hit it! They call me Cuban. Vincent. Yeah. Dance club, dance floor. Clomp clumpy dimp, clomp clumpy dimp. Yeah, like not way different, right? It's different. It's just a low energy and like clomp clumpy dimp doesn't come off the tongue very easily. It's not great. And his name is Vincent? They got to work with that because his name is Vincent?

Yeah, like he was the guy doing it and he was like i'll just do it my way okay well my that was a really good impression mike what you just i know i've been listening to the tape for a long time the weird thing is like yeah the the lyrics in this version are weirder and stuff and like kind of clunky but like i also just you know i'm a musician so i have an ear for this type of thing i didn't really love the production here that the i know the instrumentals really dipped all the way to zero right during those different lyrics well it's nice when they were went into fixed lyrics they were like well let's bring those instruments back up the whole song yeah yeah well they the originally the original version of it, I did some digging of my own.

And this guy, Vincent, had such a weak voice that he kind of had to, all the instruments needed to stop for you to hear them. Oh, okay. At specific moments, like when he said his name. Yeah. But he could sing the other parts, But yeah, it was really weird. That's cool. You found it.

It's cool. I found it. A friend of mine in the Hollywood Music Archives owed me a favor. Wow. Yeah. So it's good to keep friends like that around because you might need to pull something from the Hollywood Archives. I always forget to sort of make sure that people know that they owe me one. Like, I'll go to the Hollywood archives and, you know, do something. I'll take someone out to a really nice dinner and then I'll forget to, you know, get a favor back from them.

Right, right, right. You know, some people say, yeah, I owe you one. You're probably, yeah, no, you don't. They do. They owe you. Hey, you know what the mask reminds me of? Yeah. Is I went on a vacation with my parents once to Mexico.

Ooh. And I saw ads for a nightclub where the mascots, they had two mascots. One was the mask. The other one was Beetlejuice. Wait, the nightclub had uh oh yeah how do you mean mascots like what did they do they were there they were like on all the signs and stuff and it was like come come have a blast and it's called coco bongo and they have dual mascots the mask and beetlejuice crazy they couldn't pick one. They had to say both.

You get a sense of both those dudes have tropical aspirations, let's say. Uh-huh. They're both American movie characters with tropical aspirations. Wait, what does Beetlejuice want to do? They're cutting loose. Beetlejuice has...

Deo. Has Deo. I like that you said aspirations. They both sing Caribbean songs. I never really took it to be that they one day aspire to be there. That's what I got from that whole movie, is that Beetlejuice wanted to go to that Caribbean spot. Call it an aspiration.

Call it a bent. Call it a most fervent wish. A lot of, you know, I used to work in the industry of clubs and when they would be choosing their mascots, they tended to be like, look, we need two mascots, but they can't just be random. We want to link them together in some way. And it is pretty common to go by aspiration.

When you start a nightclub, I wanted to start a nightclub before COVID hit and it was going to be R2-D2 and Optimus Prime. Who both aspire to continue to be robotic. Who was with me? Maybe Jeff?

It was sort of a dance thing. Like they love to dance. We went to that club in Hollywood, or that bar in Hollywood that was like the Beetlejuice bar. Oh, man. But that's, yes, that's different. You walk in and it's like, it's kind of got like an eerie feel to it. And kind of a ghostly guy comes out. And he's like, tells you all to wait.

And he reads you this like poem about how we're crossing over into this undead world or something where everyone's just like can we please get in so we go inside it's a really pretty crappy bar like uh aesthetically and you look around and it's like oh there's a beetlejuice thing and then also there's like a nightmare before christmas thing and edward scissors scissorhands thing yes And you're like, oh, this is just a... Lightly Tim Burton inspired bar. But like stuff that you'd see that was just like, oh, that's like the most expensive stuff you can buy at Hot Topic.

They just put it in a bar. It was really strange. There's this tradition of pop-up theme bars in LA and just the Beetlejuice bar we'd heard so much about. And it was by far the worst. Yeah. I don't even think we stayed for a drink. It was more just like a,

to see what it was. It was a walkthrough. We got kind of sad when we went to the Glendale, um, Austin powers bar. Yeah. You might have. I like,

I like the glosses. I like the, uh, Glendale Austin powers bar electric pussy cat. They call it, check it out folks. That can't still be around. And especially during COVID. I like the Glendale Austin Powers bar. Electric Pussycat, they call it. Check it out, folks. That can't still be around, and especially during COVID. I like...

It can't be full swing. I like a lazy theme. Like, there's a big kind of a famous seafood restaurant in Scranton, Pennsylvania called Cooper's Seafood. And it's kind of one of those ones where there's lobster traps and netting hanging from the walls and stuff. But so it's like a nautical theme. In fact, I think the roof is like a shipwreck. But then what I was walking to the men's room and there was a little window display, like a shadow box. And I look in and it was all of the Flintstones characters, like the toys.

I was like, okay, they get the Flintstones. And then I went into the bathroom and it was all of the Flintstones characters, like the toys. I was like, okay, they got the Flintstones. And then I went into the bathroom and it was an Elvis theme. And then I came out of the bathroom. Jessica was in the ladies room. She came out and she was like, it's in the ladies room. It's a Beatles theme. So it's almost like the theme of that restaurant is themes. Man, have you guys been to Cafe Jack?

No. What's that? That is the Titanic themed restaurant on Western. It's like near us. And it's just got all this, like it's specifically DiCaprio's character from Titanic. But it's, but like I'm looking up photos of it now and it's did this come out when that movie was popular in 97 no well i don't know what it came out but looking it up it's like

they've got sushi and um it's on western boulevard there's some outdoor seating and then there's a building but it's got the front of a barge that looks like the titanic built into the building wow i think i i kind of remember i'll tell you what i would do if i ran that restaurant i would have that some tables that are seated at like early in the night they get to eat off the fancy menu that the vanderbilt's eat off and then if you kind of but if you're not there at the right time you have to eat off you have to eat grime and gruel off the lower class level but then if you kind of, but if you're not there at the right time, you have to eat off, you have to eat grime and gruel off the lower class level. But then if you go downstairs late at night, everybody's dancing. It's the good party down there.

We'll be right back. Hey folks, we're back talking Cuba Libre. Hey. What are your final thoughts? I will go with this is an order again. This is good. Yeah. We all kind of know what it was going to taste like. No surprises here.

You know what Coke tastes like. You know what Bacardi tastes like. And probably a lime. This is an easy mix up at home. No way to screw it up. We often say, would you go for a second rounder?

Well, tonight I made myself a double. So I'm already deep into the second round, baby. And I'm loving it. Sometimes I'll be watching that Matt Damon movie, Rounders, and I'll say, I could go for a second Rounders. They should do that. They, as in Gus Van Zandt?

No, did he do, was it Gus Van Zandt? No, no, he did Good Will Hunting. I mean, get back together, Damon and Norton and Malkovich and the gang and do Rounders 2. Oh my God. I'd watch. If we pitch that, do we have to have them attached

or can we just pitch that and then assume they'll get cast in it? It could be Rounders, the new generation. Let's consider this the pitch. Also, Rounders is amongst poker players the best movie. Oh! Like, a lot of movies

depict gambling in a dramatic way and stuff, and they kind of fuck a lot of things up, and they say that Rounders is the best poker movie. I enjoyed it, watching it as I am a poker player. Wow. Yep, straight flush.

Do you ever run the table and win the pot? No, no, no, no. I sit down and bet high and leave early. Well, what happened? You were so confident a second ago. No, I play a lot, but I lose even more. That's why we call him Mike No Limit Handful. No, I play a lot, but I lose even more. That's why we call him Mike No Limit Handful.

No rounder guy he. Tim, what do you think? Final thought on the Cuba Libre is, I mean, it's delicious. I would drink a thousand of them. But here's what I want to use my final thought time to say. One of my heady

ruminations that you guys love you know what i'll kind of muse about a topic and i'll pontificate oh yeah i was just thinking how weird is cola right it's like that it's as popular as it is that it's not it's not you guys can talk amongst yourself as i do it's not a flavor that we know. Like there are famous, you know, you're like Sprite is lemon and lime and we know lemons and limes and all these different things. For cola to be as ubiquitous as it is, and it's made from the cacao plant or something, and it's this weird, like I wouldn't even be able to think of it.

Like dominantly, but then it's just like cola is this flavor that is actually little pinches of 15 different flavors yeah and leaves from south america and i've had 400 000 coca-colas in my life and i wouldn't be able to describe it to you that's weird furthermore i am i just tasted a normal coke right next to my mexican coke and the mexican is way better that that that cane sugar gives it a little molasses caramelized deliciousness and that's it for the final thoughts well hold on hold on i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna expand on those final thoughts tim well but mike you're gonna say so do we have to uh i was gonna say what's what kind of sugar is not cane sugar like what type of sugar is regular high fructose corn syrup and so basically what high fructose corn

syrup does is it circumvents the message that your body gets from having too much sugar and being like okay i'm like full from sugar high fructose corn syrup is a version of sugar that doesn't tell your body to do that just stop drinking it yeah wow so you can you can like you don't have that immuno response that you have to having way too much sugar yeah and i don't think it's a drug man i don't think they filtered my coke enough because there's a lot of kernels floating around in this one. Coca-Colonels? Corn from the corn syrup. Oh, from the corn syrup. While I was doing my research about the war and such,

I was curious, did the Coca-Cola that they use upon the advent of the Cuba Libre, did it have cocaine in it? I was like, I want to be as close to the real thing. So I actually got in contact with some people

and I got a little pinch of cocaine and I sprinkled it. And just kidding, folks. Look, I went to the Wikipedia and I'm going to read what it says to you about the times and dates of the cocaine content people in Coca-Cola. There were two guys, Pemberton and Candler, and they invented the early taste. Pemberton called for five ounces of coca leaf

per gallon of syrup, approximately 37 grams per liter, a significant dose. In 1891, Candler claimed his formula, altered extensively from Pemberton's original, contained only a tenth of this amount. Coca-Cola once contained an estimated nine milligrams of cocaine per glass. For comparison, a typical line of cocaine is 50 to 75 milligrams. In 1903, it was removed. So we might think that by the time we're making cuba libres we're not dealing with any actual cocaine i see because that would be wild to have cocaine and

rum at the same time it would be a little bit of a i bet there's some party guys who do that never i i don't i was googling have there ever been any party guys who do and then the search bar was full and i couldn't get anything else well that's it for that who's ready for a quiz me okay so uh basically we've been talking a lot about the rum and coke uh sorry tim what are you referring to you two are at odds it's a variant of the Cuba Libre that has the exact same ingredients and taste gotcha gotcha gotcha

everyone this whole show rum and coke rum and coke but here's a quiz called rum or coke that's right it's a kind of a fast, rapid fire, easy question

type of a quiz where the answer is either rum or coke. And you want to quiz me? That's exactly what I intend to do. And Mike? I'll be good at this because I'm drinking a rum and

coke. No no forget about that that's going to confuse you rum or coke separate the ingredients in your mind okay um i'm going to keep track what you do is you just blurt out the answer you don't have to buzz in this is uh this is kind of um it's a blurter it's a blurter as they say in the biz and we got a whole big stack of questions. And question one is, or not a question. What do you call it? It's more of a prompt.

I'll describe one. I'll describe one of you. And then you say rum or Coke. Here we go. This one is bubbly and brown. Coke. Jefferson, you got that one. Okay.

I think we've got the feel the, the feel for this game. It's basically this, uh, this one once made me barf through my friends. He was never going to go to Coke's in a row right up top. Oh, you think that, but what was that?

It was going to make you, it made you barf at your friends through my friends' fingers. I think I told you that before, but one time I was in college, But what was that that made you barf at your friends? Through my friends' fingers. I think I told you that before. One time I was in college. I was passed out face down on a balcony, and Eric Leszczynski picked me up, and his fingers were going over my lips. And if you guys don't know Eric Leszczynski,

he had the nicest fingers. Used to. Used to. But I threw up while he was carrying me and then the fingers the fingers created like segments and i launched three different directions why did he not take his hand off your face is he like using your holding your face up it was too late i said grip me grip me tight eric take me it was like a it was like a play-doh fun factory just shooting out of three different holes you guys each have one and here we go to the next prompt which is right

this one is in the title of a novel by the gonzo guy himself hunter st rum the rum diaries damn i was gonna say can we have a tiebreaker but je Jeff did it. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to give that. You guys tied on saying rum, but then Jeff had the title right out. Okay, here we go. If you want to make a joke about cocaine, you can use this one in your wordplay. Coke. Yes. Okay. What? Let's leave it. We don't have to re reexamine all of them. You got it right.

What do you care? Okay. This one is associated with pirates. Rum. Rum. That sounded like Jeff to me. Mike, did you say? Oh, I had it way early.

Maybe it's on a leg. He got a little crunchy. He got a little crunchy. I see. Okay. Give it to Jeff so we're tied. Six. Yeah. Jeff gets it. You're tied. Mike, you're penalized

for having crunchy audio levels. Fuck. This one is in a Long Island iced tea. Rum. Rum. Both wrong. It was a trick question because both are in a Long Island iced tea. Tim! I should have said rum and coke yes okay this one

damn this one is what don draper himself thought about while meditating on a cola michael you got it wait was it coke i I just missed it. It was Coke. Yeah. Fuck. Sally Draper accidentally put this one on Don's French toast instead of Mrs. Butterworth's. Rum. Michael. What? Okay. Yes. The daughter made the French toast for her dad and she put rum.

It's a very funny scene. He says it's actually not that bad. Okay. And then the final question of the quiz, Don Draper was played. It's more of a Mad Men quiz. Where are we going with this? I don't know Mad Men. Keep going. The Mad Men show. Hey, you should watch it. It's really good. Don Draper was played by an actor who later appeared in the Between Two Ferns movie. And in one scene, Zach Galifianakis said to him, quote, Bradley Cooper co-wrote, directed and starred in A Star is Born. Are you hoping that will open doors for other hot idiots? This line of dialogue was written by which Los Angeles-based comedy writer?

Tim. Tim Kalpakis? Michael, you got it. What the fuck? That was such a walk. And Mike, you won the quiz. That is just a blatant self-promotion. No, it was kind of in the trivia.

When I was doing my research, it seemed like something that was hard to avoid. Well, it seemed like this did turn into a madman quiz. So that makes sense. More actually more of a Draper quiz, Draper and family. Yeah. And I'm kind of a little bit of a hashtag Draper myself. I would not here, not now, but I would make an argument against it. Hey, as long as it's not here and not now. We'll do it some other time. As long as you're hip-pocketing that sort of thing, we'll come back to it. And Mike, since you won the quiz, Jeff, you have to give him scratch-off money at some point.

Wait, what's scratch-off money? Okay. Scratch-off money. We were doing a quiz once and you said you wanted scratch off money. The hell does that mean? I don't know.

Plus, but after that zombie. Yeah. I think Don the Beachcomber had possessed you in that moment. Scratch off money is a funny thing to say though.

Yeah. Well, you're a funny guy. Like if you open a birthday card and you get like $2, like what the fuck's this? It's scratch off money. you're a funny guy. Like if you open a birthday card and you get like $2, like what the fuck's this? It's scratch off money.

That's a funny gift when you give somebody scratch offs in a birthday card. You're like, here's the, I didn't spend a lot of money, but you get the potential to have a lot of money. But then if like, as they're doing it, you're like, fuck, I hope they don't win. When we were writing Comedy Bang Bang, Scott Aukerman gave me a scratch off and I scratched it off and I won 10 bucks and I spent it on a selfie stick.

I was thinking the other day about like if you won the lottery, you know, you're like everyone who wins the lottery, their life ends up turning to shit somehow. I would if I if some all of a sudden I have like. Is that true? Somehow I would, if I, if some, all of a sudden I have like, is that true?

Well, like a lot of people, apparently people come out of the woodwork and want money from them and stuff like that. If I want all that money, I wouldn't tell anybody. I would just quietly live off $50 million. Mike, I think I would put it together.

If I saw you walking around with a new mink coat, a new coat at all, you'd probably think I came into some money. Look at Hanford new mink coat. A new coat at all? You'd probably think I came into some money. Look at Hanford's wearing a coat. What the hell? With the lottery? Folks, that's our show. You know, you can follow us on social media

at The Sloppy Boys. We're going to release these recipes ahead of time. Also, be sure to check out our Patreon where subscribers can unlock The Sloppy Boys Blowout, our weekly bonus episode where we talk about anything that's not a cocktail. That's patreon.com

slash the Sloppy Boys. Love the Patreon crowd. Thank you to the Patreon. Love those Patreons. You guys suck shit. XOXO. Thanks for listening. See you next week.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. See you next week Free Cuba Oh god I can't believe I brought up that highball thing We'll cut out most of what we record Oh god it's so embarrassing and stupid