The Sloppy Boys - 133. Acid-Adjusted Orange Juice Whiskey Sour

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

The guys add citric acid powder to orange juice in order to free Joe Saunders from the clutches of the Trickster.ACID-ADJUSTED ORANGE JUICE WHISKEY SOUR RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Bourbon Whiskey.8oz/25ml Acid-Adjusted Orange Juice*.66oz/20ml Simple Syrup.66oz/20ml Egg White (optional)Pour ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake well. Strain into chilled cocktail glass, or an old fashioned glass filled with ice.*To adjust orange juice, add 52 grams of citric acid powder per liter.For a handy breakdown of acid-adjustment, check out this article from Vinepair featuring celebrity bartender Jack Schramm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And we are your hosts, the Sloppy Boys. All right, stop. Stop everything.

We have a new summer due on the podcast. No, stop. Jeff is looking good. Snippy boy. Snip, snip, bitch. No. Yes. Yes.

No. I got a haircut, and look. If you show a barber A picture of hair You better say I want to look like this It better be long hair They're going to subtract Two or three weeks of growth If you show him a picture

I showed him a picture of me with like semi long hair And I came out looking like Class president young republican No I don't think so You look like a, you look like a kind of a future punk guy. Yeah. Who time traveled.

That sort of punk look. That's like, you'd fit right in it. Like a, a nineties offspring concert right now. Nice. No, you know who you look like?

You look like now in the bathroom. Yeah. You look like a David Arquette from, uh, airheads. Yes. david arquette from uh airheads yes david arquette from airhead you look like a guy who's being held hostage by a man you picked the lamest punk possible no not the lamest punk name a lamer punk uh no you know what i was watching a dune the other day the old dune and sting popped up that's right you look like that guy his hair goals now jeff you got a cool bleachy yeah did you do the cool

bleach job or did you do the cool bleach job by yourself and then you just get a snip i just did the bleach in the bathroom here you gotta bleach first because it really beats the shit out of your hair and then you go to the hair guy and he cuts off all the dead tips. The hair guy. Yeah. Hey, hair guy. Can I go on like kind of a viral rant? Sure.

Here on the pod? Yeah. What's it going to be about? I could do it off pod just for you guys. It's going to be about hair and movies. Okay. Do it. Okay.

So why are all these superhero movies are always too long right and marvel movies are too long and i always say why are you making a movie foreign markets foreign markets i told you that but listen i thought jeff told me that no i told you told me i pulled jeff aside i said i i hopped off the podcast i was like jeff can i talk to you alone i was like tim i got a question about marvel movies can you help me well um okay foreign markets love you know i'm watching these movies and it's like you know the fucking industry the whole thing is like oh it's hard to make money in movies these days and then you like yet they're making movies that are too so long that they're not enjoyable doing a bad job making the movie because there's too much movie so i say make less movie therefore making the movie better

save 50 million dollars do less do it better for all i care if black panther were half an hour shorter and 50 million dollars less it would be a better movie right so they should do that now let me tie it in with the hair you go into a hair place you say i just want a little snip and they give you a big snip why are you doing more of your job than i want more more than i want to pay for i i every time i get a haircut i say this is going to be so subtle i don't even want to look like i have a haircut so you know take out the clippers taper up the bottom a little bit but really and then they just take out the shears and hack away for an hour they do more work than they were asked than they were contracted to do cut less hair cut less hair now and by cutting more hair they're keeping you away from the barber

longer yes exactly yes they're putting themselves they're sinking their own industry i think same thing with these superhero movies they want to sell them abroad but ain't nobody gonna go much longer in the good old hashtag murica. I think you, Tim, have been going to people who love their job and are just like, ooh, I love to cut my hair. I'm going to keep cutting until I'm fulfilled. Well, they're probably excited. They see. They're like,

this is what's great about my job. I got a famous comedy writer in my chair. A famous satirist and his big brained head full of stinky Greek hair. Yeah, I gotta be careful with this. I better not put the scissors right through the frontal lobe of this guy or else his career

is done. Frontal lobe? Listen to the anatomy knowledge. Ah, come on. Give me a break. Is that enough shit chat? Should we get into the boozings? No, that's not enough because I wanted to say something about haircuts which I've now forgotten. Now, I will talk about, going back to Tim's other point about the long movies, the Super Mario Brothers movie is about an hour and a half long.

Beautiful. Perfect timing. That's really good. Damn. I'll tell you what else. I saw a hell of a movie last night. Mike, you might have seen it. Puss in Boots, Last Wish. Puss in Boots, Last Wish.

Puss in Boots, I did see. Yes, I did see with Tig. Last Wish? Dynamite. Dynamite. Yeah. Loved it. Yeah, Jeff loved it. Nice. It's funny.

It's dynamic. It's got a lot of pathos in it. It's got our very own friend Betsy Sodaro in it. Betsy pops up. Mulaney's in there. Sure. What more could you, Jeff, ask for? And don't forget, puss.

Yeah? Shrek's cat. Yeah, Shrek's cat. Usually when I go in for a... This is the other thing I was going to say. When I go in for a haircut, I just say, comb it, and I head out. That's all I was going to say. Can I say something, or am I not allowed to talk on the fucking phone?

You're allowed to talk on the you're allowed to talk freely sure here um jeff's new summer do reminded me hey i know spring has been springing on this pod for a long time but we're kind of rounding the uh i don't know what it's like in new york mike but la is sizzly hot yep jeff's getting his hair cut snip snip i would you know i went out i went for a uh i did the frog town crawl this weekend where you walk around to all the frog town very hip part of town because in la you don't really get a lot of like businesses is in residential neighborhoods but in frog town you're walking past houses and oh a little vegan cafe oh i'm walking past more houses oh a little

brewery but it's all along the la river which as much as the la beautiful river beautification society wants you to believe it's beautiful it's the most hideous fucking shit in the world but we now have like spoke is this like bike bicycle bar that's on the water looking out at it's like a coffee joint and lingua franca and they have beers too the lingua franca is like a real hip restaurant with natural wines and all that shit you're looking out at the water la now kind of has a waterfront i did a crawl where i was drinking a beer at noon it's hot outside i'm walking to next place good have some orange wine or something good summer is almost sprung.

No, it's not sprung yet, but it's going to. I feel like spring has been springing so long. It probably is summer at this point. If you have a triple spring from spring, you get triple sprung. Spring leads to summer. Yeah, the weather here is that we've had a few 80 degree days, which we all said, oh, that's too much. But boy, this weekend, I was out in the park. Let me tell you, I was going to save this for Booze News.

Central? But I made, huh? Central or Prospect? Fort Green. Beautiful. I made. That's not one you hear about. No, that's not one you hear about.

But still designed by the same guy who did Central and Prospect Park, a man named Olmsted. The Olmsted brothers. From the guys that brought did Central and Prospect Park, a man named Olmsted. The Olmsted brothers. From the guys that brought you Central and Prospect? Cool. Olmsted, just one guy named Olmsted. But what about the other Olmsted brother? There were two of them, no?

There were? Well, maybe one wasn't in the park designing business. This is the first I'm hearing about it. Anyway, I do want to get back to the Olmsted stuff real quick, Jeff. Later in the episode, I do want to get back to the Olmstead stuff real quick, Jeff. Later in the episode, we do want to get back to that. If you must. I made the cocktails for a group. We were having a picnic, and I made the cocktails.

I made the bramble, and everyone loved it. Yes, it's the drink of the summer, baby. Go have yourself a bramble ramble. And I did it Hanford's way. No creme de mure, creme de cassis. Oh, Hanford's way. I like that. And I put it a little extra.

Yep. You know, I love it. We want people going for Bramble Rambles with the Pim's Cup stopping off for Clover Club. And I want us to give a heartfelt apology to the slopheads that follow us on Instagram. You know, we told them, hey him hey we said tag us in your bramble rambles and i i know people are out there taking brambles for rambles i've done a real bad job of staying on top of the twitter the instagram dms because when we canceled our tour we got a lot kind of an onslaught of messages so it was like maybe like 300 messages so i've not been able to comb through

the instagram as well sort of like when i try to find a booze news theme i do a bad job in the inbox no so if you tag this in a bramble ramble and you thought the sloppy boys should have reshared this yeah we should have but i'm sleeping on the job oh can i can i just piggyback on that thought for a second here yeah before. Before we get to the park. Before we get to Olmstead. We'll go back to that. I haven't looked anything up. Are we going back?

Oh, no. Okay. I Googled it. Olmstead Brothers. Once upon a time, Nomad Ice Pops gave us alcoholic ice pops. Oh, yeah. And I said, thanks, dude. I'm going to gram these.

And it's been a year. And they're still in my freezer. And I still haven't grammed damn he actually sent two rounds tim i have a bag for you too i love that for me but uh we got to get around to gramming those nomads sorry nomads we do and let me tell you this frederick olmstead was a famous landscape architect had two sons frederick j and John. How about that? Yeah. Frederick Law Olmsted was

the guy who did the parks, and Olmsted Jr. was his son. So the two boys that I'm talking about, what did they do for a living? They don't have to. They didn't do jack shit. Their dad did parks. No, they did stuff too, it looks like

the the two brothers john charles olmstead and frederick law olmstead did landscaping i like this i i think that landscaping they mowed the park it's cool along with our theme of uh spring and bramble rambles and all that landscape architecture is a very interesting profession and when you really look at a park new york has some beautiful parks la quite frankly has the biggest municipal park in america griffith really is within the city limits entirely and there's no bigger park that is within a city limits like that wow but i could see slop heads like going into parks and admiring the landscape architecture while they get drunk yeah it's not it's not bad and you do kind of have to think like oh yeah somebody had to design all this stuff you know frederick

senior had to design all this frederick olmstead frederick law olmsted Sr. designed the Chicago's World Fair Park landscape. That's how I know him because I read the book Devil in the White City. All right, all right, all right. Read it now. I've told you about it. Getting all wound up and not even to booze news yet. Jesus Christ. I'm waiting for you to get us out of this.

All right, can we do the booze news, please? Yes. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Booze News! Booze News! Booze News!

Yeah! Booze News! Booze News! It's Booze News, yes. Booze News was sent to us by James Bishop. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to the sloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Nice. That was an original composition, it sounded like. Yeah, that was kind of punk rock style.

Yeah, that was intense. That reminded me of the LA punk scene that I used to be involved in. Mike, you're wearing a shirt of the 930 club which is the dc punk scene that's right i mean that's the scene i meant i was part of no no i was never a part of the punk scene except for the sloppy boys some people have described as punk music sure sure have you guys ever seen the decline of western civilization i never had the ramones no it's uh directed by i want to say penelope penelope spheras who directed wayne's world but is that the ramones documentary no it's like the

ramones one is uh end of the century this one is a little more classic it's uh it's about yeah it's about it's about a bunch of bands it's about the punk scene yeah the first one is about black flag circle jerks the germs stuff like that and then the second one is about Black Flag, Circle Jerks, The Germs, stuff like that. And then the second one is about like, the second one's about like Ozzy and Megadeth. Ah. I saw the third one the other day. It's great. But it's more about gutter punks in LA, like unhoused youth of the 80s and 90s.

Or like, no, of like 94. I see. You know, it's a very interesting career is penelope spheras because that's like a documentary but then she went on to direct like black sheep you know she did like beverly hillbilly oh wayne's world is the big one i'm trying to think of it and that's really cool uh to become really good at big studio comedies wow bever. Beverly Hillbillies, Little Rascals. Really dominated by two female movie directors, Amy Heckerling,

Penelope Spheeris, did a lot of really big 80s and 90s comics, huh? Yeah. Gadouche. And so did. And a lot of kind of like, yeah,

that's interesting stuff that you almost think of as like dude touchstones movies. That's cool. Wait, and a woman directed Billy Madison too. Yeah, Tamara Davis directed Half Baked. Yeah, Tamara Davis. Oh, did she do Billy Madison too? Yeah, Half Baked and Billy Madison. It's Mike D's wife.

Really? Cool. Wow, cool. Those are two huge comedy movies. Like you guys were just saying, I was kind of half listening because i was looking up stuff but yes i agree with your points completely um yeah i mean talk about what movies that they're not just comedies like those are those are comedies that loom large in the minds of boys like generation defining right right right i love that um tommy boy is my favorite but like tommy boy uh happy madison uh happy good morning yeah yeah uh and uh wayne's world and

stuff like that i love the era of comedy that we grew up with where the they're scored with like these big scores you know like they're like dumb bro stoner comedies, but it's like... And it's like they're... That's exactly the notes. Those are exactly the notes I was thinking. Yeah. And then it's like they're really sweet.

Like Tommy Boy is a very sweet movie. They're like family execution of movies where the premise is like a shithead wants to fart they make like a big sweet movie out of it farley didn't want to be like a brake pad guy growing up but uh tommy boy is so chris farley like you understand him and the capsule that it's almost like a judd apatow uh semi-autobiography yes yeah interesting it's the original uh king of staten island and they did i mean yeah like uh chris farley did have like a big fat midwestern dad that he idolized and um so there's not brake pads but uh there there's certainly like the tommy character was written

for him there's a weird thing though with like screenplay credit and arbitration and stuff like i always thought the tommy boy was written by fred wolf an snl writer who was chris farley's good friend but it's actually credited to bonnie and terry turner who then who wrote a bunch of movies and then created that 70s show but they were like they were lauren michaels's hot shit writers and then went on to be big in their own right but like they're credited as the tommy boy writers i believe but i think fred wolf may have probably written a lot of the jokes we know and love interesting wolf wolfy god you sound like me when I'm at Spago and the chef won't come out to give me my food. Wolfie! Get out here!

Tell me how you made it. Is that it for Booze News? How'd you make it in the culinary scene? We haven't gotten to story one from Booze News. Oh, here's this. Well, I want to do something kind of cool, which is sometimes I'm scouring the news media for booze news. Other times we're out there pounding the pavement, talking to people, getting the sense was unseen. Now, sure.

Mike, this I'm looking at you, dude. I recently, I believe last week on the podcast was making an early prediction saying we've done the drizzling of the Amari into the different winter, the spritzes and stuff like that. Thank you. the amari into the different into the spritzes and stuff like that thank you but now that spring is sprung in 2023 i was support kind of predicting that berry liqueurs yes we're going to start getting drizzled into drinks in a modern fashion and what happened this weekend you texted me that you met a man who said a thing about this type of thing. That's right. That is right. What was said?

Oh, yes, of course. I'd love to know. That's our show. I'm hanging out with Haskell's brother, and Haskell, and his brother, Matt, is telling me about something called, what was the name of it now? I'm forgetting. Cure beer.

Creme de cassis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A cure beer. Creme de cassis mixed with the champagne of beers. High life. Beautiful. This is exactly like the evolution from the Aperol Spritz to the Spagaghet this is exactly what i'm talking about you got a bottle of creme de cassis and you're gonna dribble it into a miller highlife you can have

a cure beer oh look what i found i looked at the cure wiki because remember i mentioned that there's a lot of alts down at the bottom on wikipedia for the keyer and we mentioned the pink russian where you sub out uh instead of the wine you use milk which is a little bizarre right under it it has a listing for the tarantino made with lager or light ale aka a keyer beer nice why tarantino? Interesting. I wonder if he... Hmm. Hall. He Hall. I had the Tarantino margarita at Casa Vega in the Valley where they go and get drunk in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. They've got a special Tarantino margarita. I'm seeing this.

I just looked up Kierbier really quickly. I think it's like I think it's like there's all different types of recipes for it so we should do a Keir beer next week and sort of make our own look up recipes and stuff but see what we can yeah I kind of want to just take a bottle of

high life and drizzle in just half an ounce of creme de cassis I think but let's be honest dudes chambord would be very good fuck man yeah Just half an ounce of creme de cassis. But let's be honest, dudes. Chambord would be very good. Fuck, man. Yeah.

Sure. Yeah, that's the big one. Any blackberry liqueur, I think, will work here. And I'll tell you what. I remember last year we made quite a meal of the spaghetti. I feel like the spaghetti was sort of having a moment. I don't remember if it was... Did we call it the drink of the summer last year? I think it won that, didn't it?

It might've been called. Yeah, I think we did. Yeah. I think that's going to continue. And we kind of said beers with things in them. And it's continued as far as hitting the mainstream. Contest winner and corrector, Neil Campbell texted me the other day.

He was in San Diego to see a play and he went to a bar and the spaghetti was on the menu. We're talking about spaghetti showing up in print on menus. It's no longer just a funny thing for people in Baltimore. It's coast to coast mainstream now. When you guys are at a bar,

are you looking at the menu to see what drinks they have? Are you ordering? I guess it depends on the bar. Are you looking at their pre-made or pre-designed cocktails? Yeah. I'll tell you what I do. But I like to see some classics on there. I look at the menu. I see a bunch of

long, punny sentence names that piss me off. And then I say, can I have a rum and diet? Yeah. Unless it's a really good cocktail bar where i i kind of want to see what they're up to i kind of just look at it and go i don't know what any of these are and then say my own thing that's why you go to the dresden that's where they have a couple silly ones if you want to have a forgetting sarah marshall or whatever for netting sarah for netting sarah

marshall it's so funny though Their whole menu is classic classics and then Frenetting Sarah Marshall. That's pretty good. It's because it's like a tropical drink with Frenet. That's like a Hawaiian movie. There's also a great one at Tim, have you been to Bolero?

It's just south of Alma's, our favorite cider bar. Bolero, yay. Virgil Village, I have not been there. Damn. It is also a Fernet and Coke and Lime. I bet you it's very similar to the Fernetting Sarah Marshall. Yum, yum, yum. Oh, man, this just reminded me.

I did the most obnoxious thing ever last week. I went to, I was at like a party, like a wrap party for a tv show and i'm standing at the bar and the bartenders is not seeing me you know when you're standing there you're kind of hoping for some eye contact you're not getting it i was standing on one side of the bar and then and that's fine i'm patient but i noticed people are like in the past what you were told to not do has kind of become the norm to do now where I thought you fan out and just stand at the bar. But people were lining up like at the mat, like by the brass rails where. Oh, really?

You know, at like at like ye rustic, they yell at you if you stand there. Yeah. But this place, a few people like five deep while I was already waiting, started to line up there and she was serving the people in this line. So I'm like, oh fuck. It's been like honestly 15 minutes. This is not a busy bar, but I'm going to go line up and I go and I line up and she serves everyone.

Then it gets to my turn and she looks over to where I was standing. And there's a new lady and she says, what can I get you? And I, so I'm 20 minutes into trying to get a drink at an empty bar uh she goes to this other lady what can i get you and i i was so rude i raised my hand i go me me me me me and she looks over and i go me like that and she goes okay let me serve him first and then i and and uh was with saw it, and I had to be like, I'm not normally.

That's not reflective of my character. That's not who I am. You understand, I was up there for a long time. That's what you guys didn't see. Gave the lady a nice big tip because I felt guilty, but I yelled at a lady. Look, she's not experienced. You're not supposed to court people standing in line at the brass rails and the mat. You're not supposed to court people standing in line at the brass rails and the mat. You're not supposed to encourage that.

Maybe now she learned a lesson that people at the brass rails at the mat were rude like I was. Maybe she should fan out a little bit more. Tim, that's not on you. You just happen to be the white blood cell of society coming in to correct an error. Exactly. That's all that was. And what's really funny is for the lady who almost got a drink before me that was over where I had been, she didn't know nothing. She just walked up to the bar and said, big fat asshole.

Be like, me, me, me. Me, feed me. Feed me. I was at a bar this weekend. Nice cocktail bar. I got myself a martini. He made it fantastically. But before he did that, we ordered a couple drinks.

He brought mine out with the other drinks. And I said, oh, no. And he had it with a twist, with a lemon twist. I said, no, no, dirty. And he like, I did say dirty because that's how I ordered my drinks. And he took, it was busy, but he took it and just like dumped it in the sink. And he goes, you didn't say dirty. And I was like, rude.

Rude, but I could tell he didn't mean what he was saying. But I think that's like the first thing of like bartenders, especially in a nice place, is just like whatever is said or not said. Yeah, man, it's a hard job. It's a demanding job. He's by himself, too. And that he probably has been dealing with annoying people.

It's a whole thing. I don't blame him, but... Yeah. Yeah, you internalized that. I worked at a pizzeria forever for seven years. I could have strangled everybody that walked in there, but I didn't.

And then while I was waiting for the drink, I was wearing that sweatshirt I have with the little... On the breast it says, it's got the Curb Your Enthusiasm logo. And this guy comes up to me and he goes, hey, I bet that drink you just ordered is going to be pretty, pretty, pretty good. And I said, oh, the sweatshirt.

And he said, ah. I said, what's your name? I think he said it was Tom. It was Tom. I think it was Tom. Was it Tom Cahill, my grade school name? I think he said it was Tom. It was Tom. I think it was Tom. Was it Tom Cahill, my grade school friend? Could have been. Was it Tom Crop, Jeff's friend from high school?

Yes. It was two different Toms? Yes. Damn. We all have Toms in our past. Isn't that nice? Wow. And Tims in our future.

A past checkered with Toms A trail of Toms marks his past Alright, is that it for Booze News? Yeah Did we even get to the Booze News? Yeah, we did It was Mike's Cure Beer Okay

It seems like we talked about so many other things That's good, it's zeitgeisty That's good Alright, that's it it's zeitgeisty that's good all right that's it for booze news yes it's time we face down the drink of the day oh shit now last i recalled some shit went down last week yes last week's episode was going off without a hitch beautiful episode and then what, I don't know if you remember, there was like a little bit of like a tech kerfuffle,

and then there's sort of like an audio message invaded the broadcast. Yeah. I'll play it. I'll play it because I have it handy. Boys, boys, boys. I don't like being lied to. I don't like being lied to. There's been so much talk of citric acid and acid-adjusted orange juice and so little action.

I've tried so hard to be patient. Maybe what you need is a little push. It would be a shame if something terrible happened to someone near and dear to you. Guys. Guys, it's Joe. Joe Saunders. You gotta help me. I'm in some sort of chemical plant.

Enough! The game is simple, sloppy boys. Either you make an acid-adjusted cocktail, or I do a little acid-adjusting of my own. I look forward to your next episode Oh damn I forgot Saunders has been tied up all week Yeah so it seems like Joe's been chained up above a vat of acid

For a week And he's a family man So that's bad for him He's got a white kid Joe Saunders of Breadcast fame Great bread podcast TV writer. TV writer.

Tennis player. I play tennis with him from time to time. That's true. That's true. So we had to come up with an acid-adjusted cocktail because, look, it's true. We have frequently brought up the idea that I got myself some citric acid. I was very excited about it and we'd heard about bartenders that have been putting citric acid in orange juice to bring it up to the acidity of a lemon juice hell yeah to uh

make orange juice less quote-unquote flabby as they say to take out the water weight of an orange juice but keep the orange flavor now a lot of people on discord have quite honestly taken shots at us for not following through. And I think the trickster shares their sentiments. Okay. He most likely is on the Discord is sort of what we kind of figured out. Could be. Well, he'd have to be a paying patron in that case.

That's kind of weird. Right. He really, the trickster really escalated his villainy because the first time he visited us, he was very intimidating, but he basically gave us a nice gift and we smoked our cocktails and had a good time. This time, our friend might get submerging acid and die. So this is just, there's more stakes to it this time. Oh, right. Yeah. And he was a nice, he was nice the first time.

And he is a fan, the trickster. Yeah, he's a fan. I don't know. I don't know why you keep saying he's nice the first time, and he is a fan, the trickster. Yeah, he's a fan. I don't know why you keep saying he's nice. Well, he was. No, all right. I know. He comes across as mean. He's mean.

He's mean. He's mean. I know he's mean. Well, he's smug. He's not nice. Boys, boys, boys. Yeah. Also, I do think, if I'm going to ding, if I'm going to, you know, give notes on the trickster.

Sure. He kind of got away from rhyming. That was a big thing early on. It was all in rhymes. I agree. I agree. Maybe he'll come back to that. Maybe he was in a poetry class at the time.

Rhymes and riddles. No such thing this time. He's just kind of talking right to you. Yeah. I noticed on this time we talked to the trickster, I noticed he says the word and very quickly. He says and. Interesting. Something interesting.

I don't know if that's his real voice or if his real voice is distorted by something, but it seems like he's... Well, maybe the phonetics lab down at LAPD can sort of use that to track him down. Yeah, that's perfect. That's what I'm thinking. That's what they need.

That's what I'm sort of thinking. There track him down. Yeah, that's perfect. That's what I'm thinking. That's what they need. That's what I'm sort of thinking. There's this guy. He says and really quickly. Brought it. And he's got Joe. He has some sort of voice speeder, and it makes the word and real fast. Yeah.

Oh, and also, thanks everybody for jumping on hashtag don't dunk Joe. Yeah. I don't think it worked, because as far as we know, Joe is still held captive. But we don't know if he's dunked or not. He better not be dunked. We didn't get all these ingredients so that our friend could be dunked. So what are we going to do? Our friend is about to get dunked.

We're scared. Our hands are shaking. And we have to make a drink using the acid adjusted. What do we do? What do we do? All right. We talked about this, about this and we said like what's a good drink to do because you know we got to drink this thing what's a simple one that all the slop heads can get on board and do themselves at home and have fun and we came up with the acid adjusted whiskey sour yeah because we said if you're going to use citrus in a drink the most bare-bones straightforward

thing is a sour of some sort and the most popular sour is a whiskey sour because let's be honest it's whiskey lemon juice simple syrup yes so if we wanted to make an orange whiskey sour right and swap out that lemon juice, it's kind of the best taster because it's simple. So I've only, I don't know about your herd head situations on this, but I only heard about acid adjusting within the last year. I heard about it from our friend celebrity bartender Jack Schramm. And the only time I've actually had it was he was doing a solid wiggles pop-up at Thunderbolt

in Filipino town out here and I went and I had a delicious drink he made that where he oh you he adjusted the uh the OJ with acid so it wasn't so flabby I think I had that same thing Tim well damn so the goal here this acid do I want to talk about what's in it jeff oh yeah well first of all i we had to do a little research so i just searched acid adjusted orange juice and one of the first hits i found was vine pair.com's article which you can all find and it's a great breakdown and it's called the title of it is bartenders are acid adjusting citrus for completely customized cocktails and who should pop up but Jack Schramm. Nice.

The man himself. He says, quote, acid-adjusting is the process of adding either citric acid or citric and malic acids to a juice with low titratable acidity, i.e. pineapple, grapefruit, or orange juice, the flabby ones, to bring the total acid level to the same as that of lemon or lime. That's a pretty nice little breakdown. Lower down in the article, they list these ratios. And the one that we're looking at is bringing orange to lemon. That requires 52 grams of citric

acid powder per liter. So if you have a liter of orange juice, you add 52 grams of citric acid powder, which we all have. We all managed to get our citric acid. Yeah. We ordered citric acid on Amazon. Amazon. Anybody can get it. Yeah. And what we're doing here is we're just turning OJ into something that's as sour as lemon juice, so it can be used in a cocktail as you would with lemon juice. So hopefully, once we've made that adjustment, I made mine earlier today. Me too. Oh, I have not made. Then we should just be able to follow the normal IBA recipe for the whiskey sour, which is as follows. 45 mil bourbon whiskey shot and a half, 25 mil fresh lemon juice,

20 mil sugar syrup, 20 mil egg white optional optional pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice shake well strain into a cobbler glass if served on the rocks strain ingredients into an old-fashioned glass filled with ice I'm going on the rocks note if egg white is used

shake a little harder to release and incorporate the foam from the egg white garnish with half an orange slice so we picked good we picked good and maraschino cherry oh yes beautiful now here's a weird thing slop heads you'll notice all of those measurements were milliliters or ounces you know that type of thing but when it comes to this citric acid it's a powder we're talking grams we're talking weight i flipped my shit this morning when i realized i didn't even give it any thought we're talking weight not volume so i texted celebrity bartender jack shram and i said whoa whoa whoa hold on dude we got acid we're adjusting but we can't just measure that out

with our milliliter cup measuring cups we're gonna have to weigh this and he takes a bag yes you got you gotta weigh it you get you need to have a little scale like you weigh drugs with if you're a drug dealer and then you you weigh it and we're you're going by weight but now jeff you weighed it and you found that the weight of the grams was pretty similar. A gram of this powder kind of weighed like a milliliter of space. I put 52 grams into a measuring glass and it looked about 50 milliliters. How about that?

Okay. Now, are you sure we're talking grams and not milligrams? Yes. Great. Of that I you sure we're talking grams and not milligrams? Yes. Great. Of that I am sure. Great. So what I'm going to do, because I don't want to make a whole liter of this stuff because I don't need a liter of acid justice. So I'm going to do half.

So I'm going to do a half a liter, which is 500 milliliters. Right. And then 26 milliliters. Yeah, 26 milliliters. Yeah, 26 milliliters. Or, Jeff, I mean, wait. We said for 52 grams, it was 50 milliliters. So do 25 milliliters. Gotcha.

Okay. But everybody, go to vinepair.com, read this article, and use the scale. It says it's 52 grams to a liter. Do your own math. If you got a scale, weigh it out, man. Yeah. Or order the exact same acid powder that we got off Amazon. Jeff, do you know the brand? The one I got right here is called Plant Guru.

Okay. Well, if you get Plant Guru, know that it's about 50 milliliters worth of that for a liter. Nice. I fucked up so bad, dude. I wanted to fresh squeeze my Oj so that it would be just like a lemon yeah yeah i did all the work i squeezed a quarter of a uh a liter of oj and it was delicious and then i dumped 50 milliliters worth of powder into that and i had forgot to cut that into a quarter because i only should have put 12 and a half. So I had to go back to the store, buy a second bag of oranges.

And even on the second time, I think I put a little too much powder, but I tasted it. It tasted delicious, fresh squeezed and sour like lemon juice. So I was happy. Oh, wow. I'm so happy. Fresh squeezed all those oranges. I chickened out. I just went with a simply.

That'll work. A simply orange. But here's the thing, folks. My Simply is exactly, pretty much, a third of a liter. So the math is really easy. Oh, yes. How about that? I just dumped in 17 grams. Okay, we gotta make this drink. I'm pumped.

Enough math talk. Let's go make some drinks, and these suckers can listen to the ads. Nice. Great. Peace. drinks and these suckers can listen to the ads nice great peace and we're back with acid adjusted orange juice whiskey sours in hand wow looking beautiful jeff went coupe glass mike you went rocks roxy boy i'm the rock i went rocks as well but i gotta tell you i fucked up why you know how my first batch of i squeezed a whole bag of oranges and i put too much acid yeah my second round i squeezed too many oranges because i was absent-minded. Maybe back to flabby?

I squeezed a half liter of oranges and then used like a quarter liter's worth of acid. I realized that, but then I tasted it, and you know, I told you I thought I maybe put too much powder. It tasted like the amount of sourness that lemon juice should, so I quit while I was ahead.

I didn't monkey with it. I'm just going to taste this and see if this is okay. We're not the math boys, folks. No. Yeah, we're the stupid assholes. I did my acid adjusted, and I took a sip of it, and I was like, whoa, that is nuts that you just put a little powder in something,

and it makes it taste like a limon. A limon. All right, here we go. Here we go. Sips. Oh, wow. Oh, Timmy Kalpakis. The last name got in there?

Interesting. Oh, Timmy Kalpakis. Now, I do need some more acid in here because mine is a little... With all of that simple syrup it's mine is veering sweet but it's very fun to be drinking a whiskey cocktail that's got an orange flavor to it damn and i think we all did egg white it looks like tim you did i did i did not see i did egg white but you might be thinking dots chose to go up instead of on ice what What the fuck? What's wrong with him? Whiskey sour is one of the few drinks that I will get up when I'm

out. When you go to the Dresden... But you don't like up and you don't like a cocktail glass. You don't like walking around the room with a stemmed glass. It's too tippy. It's too tippy. But it's good for this and also one thing the bars do often is they'll do a little Angostura spray on top, give you a little design.

Ah. We've seen that. Hey, I was just having this conversation the bars do often is they'll do a little angostura spray on top give you a little design ah we've seen that hey is i was just having this conversation with somebody and i'm not close enough to my angostura bitters to check it is there alcohol in angostura or pichodes yes both tiny bit sour mike not not even a tiny that's it's very alcoholic you just 80 proof just used to using very little that That's what I thought. I got to talk to these people. I don't even remember who it was, but I said it. Let me ask you guys this.

I'm trying to find the culprit here. My first sip was quite divine. As I'm sipping, you know when you drink a diet beverage? Yeah. And you keep going and you're like, this is actually kind of nasty? Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is cloyingly sweet in a way that I will blame on my mistake, but it almost is like, it doesn't just...

Maybe my simple syrup is really strong or something because this almost tastes like one of those fake diet drinks that's like crazy fake sweet. Like it has a Splenda packet in or something. I don't know what's going on over here. I wonder if, I mean, are we, is this kind of like fake lemon juice, what we're doing? So maybe it's just like because it's not coming directly from the lemon. It's just the acid. It's not, no fake sweetener. Oh, yeah, the acid. Now, is there a chance you use too much citric acid tim you would know right because you had it

when it was well i have the other batch i have the what could i if i wish i had a math brain but i've what i've got is i have some orange juice that is quadruple the amount of acid that i need then i have some orange juice that's half the amount of acid i need if i mix together you gotta add them together but if i add them together it won't make it correct it'll it'll be like it'll be still i don't fucking know that's good i don't humiliating like i felt my brain try to think there for a second you need a calculator and a graph that says what to what. Yes. Anyway, I'm tasting this, and I'm saying to myself,

it's very tart. Mine's tart. Mine's perfect. I'm not tasting the whiskey as much. Mine is Dresden ready, baby. Look what I got. What type of whiskey did you guys use? Makers.

I went to a place. It's kind of a wine shop type of a place. And I got something called from American Distilling Company. Interesting. It looks kind of like an indie batch. Classic oak cask. I was going to...

Don't sip it straight from the bottle there, Mike. I was going to buy some nice uh uh makers which is my go-to on the company dime as well but it was really expensive so i got i bought jim beam because the handle was only 19 jim beam's not very good but i was perusing my options and listen to this in your your understanding do you think of jack daniels as bourbon yeah i guess so was it technically tennessee whiskey or something yeah i i always just i always thought jack daniels was bourbon but it when you look at it it says tennessee sour mash whiskey or something and i just googled it and it says the google results jack daniels chooses not to call itself bourbon but the historic brand applies

for federal label approval under the class of bourbon and tennessee whiskey is listed as straight bourbon north america blah blah and then there's other ones i don't know the difference between a jim beam has bourbon right on the label label right right so that's why I bought it damn I like using I like whiskey in a in a cocktail with with fruit you know you often have old fashions and Manhattans but when you do you know when a bar does almost like a tiki-ish drink something with like pineapple and whiskey I always love it sure i think you should live it up any whiskey drink with a twist of like a lemon or an orange or a lemon twist get it going this definitely has a um much more of a sharp taste than the rounder old-fashioned i'm used to so you've got a lot of the rounder whiskey sour you're used to

oh oh no sorry i'm thinking of a router old-fashioned you're right you're right i for a second thought i made myself an old-fashioned here's what i'm wondering might be the problem with mine yeah if mine is maybe if it's if it's not acidy enough, I put a fucking raw egg white in this thing and the acid is what cooks the egg white. So I might be like tasting raw egg and I maybe didn't cook. Maybe I didn't have enough acid to cook the egg.

When I got this citric acid, I was just like, I'm just going to throw some in a cocktail. And after a quick Google, it said, don't just throw some in a cocktail because it's acid and you don't want it in your fingers and you don't want it in a cocktail. And after a quick Google, it said, don't just throw some in a cocktail because it's acid and you don't want it in your fingers and you don't want it in your eyes. You're going to burn yourself if you're not careful. However, in your case, I think you should take a pinch of citric acid and just sprinkle

it in there so you don't get salmonella. Yeah. Ooh. I'm sad. Just give it a little toot. Yeah, but Rocky used to eat the eggs. It worked out for me. I ended up marrying Adrian.

Hey, no spoilers. I haven't seen the movie. Well, that's in the cold open. Nod. Nod. Well, would you change anything? It sounds like Tim's got a lot to change. I changed who my two co-hosts are.

I'm going to start from scratch. I'm going to put more acid into my OJ. I'm going to make a second round that's real and good. I'm putting some more. I'm going to put some of those maraschino cherries liquid in there. Ooh, some of the juice. Yeah, I like the juice. Oh, you like the juice?

Yeah, I like the juice. Folks, we're going to go make a second round while you open up your wallet and buy every single thing on the advertisement slate. Thanks for doing that, everyone. Thanks, folks. Peace. Peace. And we're back with round two acid adjusted orange juice whiskey sours

i just did rocks beautiful tim looking much better how you feeling looking much better i i fixed my acid and i used less egg sure measuring out 20 mil is kind of, well, it's nice that they give you a measurement for this one. But 20 mil of egg white is difficult to wrangle. It's a lot. Yeah. Tim, what's your shirt there? You're wearing a yellow shirt just like your drink. What is on the shirt?

This shirt says 3 o'clock rock. um three o'clock rock we did a um a birthday boy show at cobs comedy club in san francisco during sf sketch fest one year and a nice man came up to me at the t-shirt table and said hey i teach music classes here in town and i show my drum students keeping the beat my classic classic sketch keeping the beat look it up on youtube if you haven't seen good satire in a while um and he said i hear i want to give you this shirt that's my music school where i teach kids music and uh so it's a little it's a girl playing drums and i loved the shirt and i i jog in it all the time there you go nice are you are you coming from a jog now are you you post-jog? I haven't really been jogging much in the last week. I fell off. I don't know what it is.

It's tough. It's tough. I just don't have the time. See, Tim, this is why M-Drive doesn't sponsor you. It's true. You're not putting in the work. M-Drive did eventually give it and send me more free product. I'm back on the drive. My thought process is if I drink enough M Drive, I don't have to run anymore.

Enough. Yeah. Bingo. I'm laying around on the couch just sucking down shakes all day. Nasty boy. Here's the thing to think about, though, as a podcast. Listeners, is it interesting when we call out each other's T-shirts and haircuts? Do the listeners like that, or is that lazy, low-hanging fruit?

I wonder. Here's the thing, though. We've talked about your summer do, my T-shirt, and Mike's 930 Club T-shirt. Yeah. But they lead to more things. If I was just like, oh, Tim, that's a nice T-shirt. He was like, thanks. That would be different.

But it led to a story. I guess so. Yeah, there's the human element, I suppose. I guess from now on, I'll be like, oh, Jeff, your voice is sounding different. It's because I'm going through changes, Mike. Ch-ch-ch-changes! All right, can we zip? David Bowie, ladies and gentlemen.

David Bowie. Sips. Sips. I already took my sip. We don't do that on the second round. Really? I don't wait for it. Second round sips are...

Sips. Oh, it's delectable. Unless you're doing something really weird, then you're like, oh, I put a whole different liquor in here. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, man. I'm already feeling this drink. I'm getting...

Me too. I'm hot-faced. Nice. Nice. Okay. Much improved. I taste a lot more orange for some reason, probably because I cut down on the egg.

But still, something's not right. I think it's just too much. Maybe my simple syrup's too strong, or maybe I don't like... Oh, didn't you say that you had mold growing in your simple syrup? I threw that out. I bought a new one. Okay. What are simple syrups supposed

to be? Is it half sugar, half water? Yes. One to one. I don't know, man. This is this tastes like I'm drinking Splenda. I can't get to the bottom of it. Hmm. Perhaps you ought to stick with just a whiskey sour. Yeah.

Maybe the egg is throwing you. Yeah. But that's all the time we have for the drink for today. It's time to log our final thoughts. Hmm. Hmm. Mike, you want to start? This is a not order again for me.

What? I'm not a big, huge whiskey sour guy as it is and uh i would do the acid adjusted with i would like to see it back to back with a professional making it sure you know what i mean yeah a lot of these you sort of wonder like i did okay but what would a pro do? This one is like, the science is all crazy. This is a big science episode for us today. In the blowout, we're talking science. We're talking AI.

Oh yeah, folks, check out the AI blowout. Yeah, so that's interesting. We're getting very popular mechanics vibes these days. Yes, yes. Timothy, your thoughts? Submit them. I'm going to say that

I think I made it wrong and I assume all responsibility, but this is bad. Wow! But would you order it again? Because when I tasted my OJ just now, I was like, yeah, man, that is an orange flavor, delicious, fresh-cured orange juice that's as sour as lemon juice.

So I don't know why this is weird. I think I just... Too much simple syrup. I blame the IBA's recipe. I'll amend mine to make it a little more clear. This, what I made today here, this thing I i have designed i would not order this again okay but i would order this drink again this here that i designed this is not ordered again for me man well i hope uh i mean i hope joe's fate doesn't hang on us liking the drink oh no that it was no

we just were supposed to make just yeah. That's what I understood it as. I'll say I adore it. I think it's a great twist on a drink. I am a big whiskey sour guy. That's something I get quite often. I'll get it at Lily's Bar near the old 101. I'll get it at the Dresden aforementioned. Is Lily's Bar the

old... The old mini bar. Mini bar. Yeah, that was a cool place. Is a cool place. It remains a cool place. Is Lily's Bar the old, what's- The old mini bar. Mini bar, yeah, that was a cool place. Is a cool place. It remains a cool place. And what's 101 called now? It's called the Clark Street? Yeah, Clark Street Diner.

Clark Street Diner. I really enjoy getting whiskey sours in old fashions at dive bars that are not going to make them fancy. And I love like the Roost or Drawing Room getting a whiskey sour. It's just whiskey and sour mix. I love it yeah well folks uh i would do this and i think you know if you're a big time slop head and you're gonna make a bunch of weird drinks it's not a bad idea to have some citric acid around

also they say this can be used for canning get into some canning oh canning could be fun preserving you know make yourself a jam. Or you can use it to clean or make soap. Or you can listen to the jams we've already made on our three albums. No, those are some tasty jams. Did somebody's phone buzz? Jeff, I think you're getting a call. Oh, actually, oh, I missed a call from Joe.

Oh. Hey, guys, it's Joe. I just wanted to say thanks for making that cocktail and saving me from the trickster. I'm back home with the family now, and everyone's a little shaken up, but I think we're going to be okay. Anyway, let me know if you want to grab a drink sometime.

I'm around. Also, Mike, whenever you're back in L.A., we've got to play tennis. Okay, look, I'll talk to you later. Take it easy. Bye. Wow, he's already back home. Oh, Mike, whenever you're back in LA, we got to play tennis. Okay. Look, I'll talk to you later. Take it easy. Bye. Wow. He's already back home. Oh my God. So laid back for someone who's being held by a super villain and almost dunked in a vat of acid. He's Joe's a, Joe's an even keel guy. That's what you love about him. I, I will say with a little bit of guilt that, um, throughout this whole episode, as we were, I was worried more about making this drink collect, I kind

of forgot about Joe and his fate. Yeah. You did? It was always on the top of my brain. You did? You forget that here? You say that about forgetting? Now? Yeah, well, hey, good. Great that Joe's back.

I wonder if we're going to hear from the trickster himself anymore, though. Probably not. Okay, good. I can't imagine why we would. Nah, he let Joe go, and he has nothing to say about it. That's probably going to be it for a while. Yeah, that's interesting.

I kind of would have thought we would have gone, boys, boys, boys, but instead it was just Joe calling. Yeah. Actually, I'm kind of relieved. I don't know if I could hear that voice again. Yeah, me too, me too, me too. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys

where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough Sloppy Boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys and unlock every episode for five dollars of the sloppy boys blow out the real show where we talk about the shit we really care about nice like for example that ai drake song and that ai oasis album and all sorts of ai music and what it means for the future yes yeah because we're're sort of like we are that type of podcast we see how tech shapes society.

And then we make our predictions based on the data we have. Sure. Yep. Well, good episode guys. Yes, and to you and yours. And a great episode. You listening at home.

Bye folks, thank you later bye All right.