The Sloppy Boys - 139. Lavender Haze Lemonade

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

The guys make the new, viral drink from Taylor Swift's Eras Tour using a recipe listed in Cosmo that calls for way too much gin.LAVENDER HAZE LEMONADE RECIPE5oz/150ml Empress 1908 Gin (we think they m...eant 1.5oz)1.5oz/45ml Falernum Liqueur1.5oz/45ml Lemon Juice3 dashes Rhubarb BittersElderflower Tonic to topAdd gin, falernum and lemon juice into a shaker. Add bitters and a handful of ice. Shake and strain into a tall glass filled with ice and top off with tonic. Garnish with lemon peel.Recipe via Cosmopolitan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey folks, Dutz here. We realized after recording this episode that the recipe that we were following from Cosmopolitan.com might have been a misprint. As printed, it calls for 5 ounces of Empress Gin in this drink, which did seem like a lot. And we're seeing recipes online that call for less. It seems like Cosmo might have meant an ounce and a half. But anyway, enjoy us drinking the very strong version of a very interesting drink. Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Yo-ho! And Tim Kalpakis. What is
Starting point is 00:00:48 up? Swifty Stylies. Ooh! Hiss hiss. Hiss hiss, bitch. It's Swifty, bitch. Your reputation is on the line tonight. Look what you made me do. Her drink reputation is on the line. Yes, her
Starting point is 00:01:04 drink reputation. Does she have what it takes? I don't know if she's my favorite bartender. I think she's my fave. Yeah. And where are your hosts, the band The Sloppy Boys? Like the type of band that would have like a hit single like Gardens of Gomorrah streaming on Spotify?
Starting point is 00:01:22 Oh, yeah. It would sound a little something like... streaming on Spotify? It would sound a little something like... Gotten a lot of in-person... A lot of in-person congrats on that song. And people saying it is a very cool song. It's very memorable. Like the hook is working.
Starting point is 00:01:40 And a lot of people being like, this is not what I expected out of a Sloppy Boys sound. We thought you were going to suck ass again. Yeah. What the fuck? Don't say that to me. Guess what? We got three albums out now.
Starting point is 00:01:52 We fucking learned how to do it. You say that to me? Here? Now? Oh! Oh! Grrr! Yikes
Starting point is 00:02:05 That was a good run The whale We'll have a new good run on this show See I'm trying to rehash old stuff We'll do some good stuff I've been coming in with fresh stuff They love prescriptions They love nasty man
Starting point is 00:02:21 We haven't said prescriptions in a long time Nasty man's good That's the past The future is Prescriptions. They love Nasty Man. Oh, God, we haven't said prescriptions in a long time. Nasty Man's good. Yeah, shit. But that's the past. Yeah. The future is... Ooh, that'd be cool. Make that your ringtone, folks.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Yeah, do something with that. Make it your midi ringtone. Make that your ringtone. Make that your ringtee. Yeah, I will after I get my prescription. I've fallen off that show. You fell off Sopranos? I just haven't.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Not that I dislike it. I just haven't gone back to it in a while. Where did you leave off? You were doing so good. Season five, I think. We were so proud of you. Mike, you missed your moment. There was a cultural moment of pandemic rewatches.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Now, you can't do it. The culture has already been influenced. We're living in a bupkis world now. Sure. Yeah. Now, Mike, you go back, you finish it, people say, so what? So what? No, because I'll catch people who are watching it
Starting point is 00:03:25 again for the third fourth time oh people are always re-watching also i don't do i don't do what culture is doing i think that's very clear with the way i dress what i talk about what are you talking about you always uh you know boil up artichokes tim you, but not an hour ago I finished a kind of joke here in the home. Was it boiled whole? Steamed. Steamed. Yeah, I put it in a bigger pot,
Starting point is 00:03:55 a little thing that kind of... What's the... Is that turret or tuffet? You put a hot something on it, like a hot... Turret. Tuffet. No, but you know what I'm talking about. A little mizmuffin.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yes, yes. It begins with a T. No, we'll come up with it soon. Yeah. Anyway, I put it in there and I steam some water around it. Do a 20-minute Admiral War flip it. It's fine. It's great.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Mike, when you go keto... These were humongous art charts. When you go keto, right, you're probably thinking like, oh, I'm in this scary wilderness of new foods. You probably remembered your old friend the artichoke, and it probably put you at ease, huh? You know what I'm thinking? I didn't look it up, but I wonder if that's like
Starting point is 00:04:39 carrots where it's like, oh, there is a lot of sugar in this. You can't eat it. Oh, God. Hmm. I don't even want to look it up right now. I'm still riding that high, baby. I've eaten an art joke. Yeah. Riding that keto high, baby.
Starting point is 00:04:56 I have been eating less. Go ahead. That's not good. You got to eat more. You look in your Zoom screen, we can barely see you're shrinking away down to the bottom. Yes. I'm slight. When I'm on the beach now everyone's like oh who's that slight guy yeah your thin thin microphone is covering up your whole body yeah somebody somebody hold this
Starting point is 00:05:17 rope and tie it around my ankle and stick the other ankle in the just tie it to something i wonder if jeff getting jacked by by June and Mike doing keto and losing weight, we've probably maintained the total weight of the pod hosts. This is just shifting around from coast to coast a little bit. And Tim, you're the steady fulcrum in the center. Oddly enough, even though I'm not doing anything or trying anything, I bet my weight fluctuated more than either of you. I bet I've gained and lost like 18 pounds while just watching you guys talk about it like yep
Starting point is 00:05:50 you know it's funny i mean this is going to be the most obvious statement ever but when you think about it made me oh when you eat food you're eating food say you buy a you eat a pound of meat now you just have an extra pound in you like it's that one-to-one where it's like i ate it it's in me now yeah it's pretty straightforward if i go on the scale i'm gonna be a pound heavier yeah aren't that interesting because of the purple chicken mike when we wrap the podcast tonight um i want to tell you i'll i want to talk to you off pod and explain there's a way that after you put food in your body you wait a little while there's a way there's a way of getting it out i've heard about this but it's not immediate no no no sometimes it sucks and it comes out
Starting point is 00:06:35 different it's but still edible well let me put it this way when uh it's too nasty you've seen pet cemetery when they bury the cat in a native american graveyard and the cat comes back and they're like our cat's back but the cat is a little off yeah uh-huh you've seen i've had this experience where i'm like hey i remember eating that pepperoni pizza i loved that pepperoni pizza then sure this way it's just not the same I don't love it quite the same way that I used to I'd argue it's more than a little off
Starting point is 00:07:11 it's unrecognizable quite frankly thanks for saying it every property of the thing, smell, taste shape, weight I'm digging through my toilet, what is this? this is not what I wanted. This is all on.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Where's the salmon? Where's the asparagus? Where's the salmon? Where's my glorious, glorious asparagus? There's not a green or pink in here. Well, if those two colors were combined with almost every other color, yes. All I can find is the chocolate. Of which I ate very little today what the hell
Starting point is 00:07:46 this is all wrong all wrong this is the perfect way to kick off the taylor swift episode oh yeah i know you're right i was saying to you guys before that we started recording today like this would be great we'll get a lot of new listeners checking out the pod i'm sure the Swifties are pumped. This is disgusting. We're basically doing a pump and dump, I guess. You get a lot of listeners and you gross them out with turd talk.
Starting point is 00:08:14 That's disgusting. I'm disgusted. Even if it was just our regular listeners and not scores and scores of Swifty fans. Swifties are the fans. Swift is the person. The Swifty fans are Swifties are the fans. Yes. Swift is the person. Yeah. The Swifty fans are
Starting point is 00:08:27 the three of us. Yeah, we're fans of the fans. Anyway, they're probably we shouldn't be talking like that for our usual slopheads. That's improper talk and we apologize. Nasty.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Well, that's it for Turd Talk. It's time for Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, Booze News. Hit it! Ooh, uh, also... Ooh, uh, also... Also. Also. Also. It's.
Starting point is 00:09:15 You. Don't eat. Numerical. Down with the sloppiness was sent to us by teenage fan sub from the sloppy boys discord and if you have a booze news theme email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com and subscribe to our patreon if you want to mix it up on the discord with teenage fan sub now nice nice job that was uh that was a take on down with the sickness by a group called disturbed yep yeah disturbed we we've been doing a lot of new meta lately huh yeah we have and also
Starting point is 00:09:53 yeah because we talked about toxicity and then stuff like that but then also on our patreon hit show the blowout one time we we were talking about our favorite web videos and we played the supercut of karaoke people trying to go and it's such a good youtube watch that we had a challenge here on the pod on the blowout one time maybe it wasn't even on the blowout where we tried to do that we used to do more singing challenges yeah we used to do we may have covered them all we tried to go as low as possible we tried to go as high as the danny try to go as high as possible. Was it the Danny Boy challenge on St. Patrick's Day? Yeah, that was good. What was that?
Starting point is 00:10:28 We were trying to remember the words to it or something? Yeah, I challenged you guys to, to sing, because I noticed, it was St. Patrick's Day and I noticed there's like
Starting point is 00:10:35 lots of words and verses to Danny Boy that I didn't know and I was going to see if you guys, it's in a wordy song, I was going to see if you guys could take turns
Starting point is 00:10:43 singing it and see if you could hit it. But little did I know that Jeff didn't know the melody of danny boy whatsoever whatsoever so it kind of turned into oh danny boy oh danny boy that's good oh it wasn't the winner knee boy was it whoever could sing it sweeter, better? Yeah, who could be the most moving? Who could give the best vocal performance, and I was going to be the judge. That's good. We should keep doing that.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I actually heard there's a movement in Dublin to redo it in the way that I did it. In Dublin. Yeah, really. I've heard about that movement in Dublin. Holy shit. Well, what's the booze news? well what's the booze news well folks it's it's the time of year where we are starting to track we're putting out the feelers and we're starting to start to start to start thinking about what will be the drink of the summer right yeah and right here on this podcast we like to be out
Starting point is 00:11:39 there mixing it up all summer long meeting the people hey. Hey, how's it going? I'm Tim. Oh, you love all my stuff that I do. And, uh, you know, kind of chit chatting with people, seeing what they're drinking. And then by the end, by like Labor Day weekend, we usually kind of look back and say, Oh, the drink of the summer. Was it the dirty Shirley? Was it the espresso martini? Was it the spaghetti? What's going on? Um, Oh, speaking of which I've been kind of putting it to the test. Jeff, we were at a Caipirinha bar recently and you ordered a spaghetti. But our server didn't know what it was. So you had to explain and order all its elements separately.
Starting point is 00:12:17 And they did it kindly for you. I was at Little Joy in Echo Park, which recently had the new refurbish. And it's fantastic. And I said, hey, do you guys do a spaghetti? joy in echo park which recently had the new refurbish and it's fantastic and i said hey do you guys do a spaghetti and one the one bartender i was talking to was like what's that and when i started to explain it um a different bartender stepped in it was like yeah we do that it's just called the blank and i forget it was like a message in a bottle or a there was some other uh bottle name but once he said that she was, yeah, I'll do that for you.
Starting point is 00:12:46 And here was what was cool. She gave me the bottle of Miller High Life. And you know how usually if you're making yourself a spaghet, you take a glug first. So there's room for Aperol and lemon. She poured me a shot of beer and handed it to me. So I got to sip my little beer while she made the spaghet for me. That's good thinking. Good looking out.
Starting point is 00:13:07 But now it's 2023. We are looking for what will be the drink of the summer this summer. And there's an article from Jezebel that a lot of people just sent to me. And they said, here's your cocktail of the summer. The pickle juice martini. Hey, we were just talking about those no we're talking about you mentioned tim a place that does peppercini martini the peppercini martini i saw on the menu at bad roman in columbus circle in manhattan mike you had the green mango martini
Starting point is 00:13:41 yeah right which didn't have any martini stuff in it. I keep blanking on the name of that place. What's it called? Super Bueno. Super Bueno. So this Jesler article, it wasn't saying any one particular spot. They said there's one place in Williamsburg, but they're popping up elsewhere. But I feel like we have in general over the last couple years heard about pickle
Starting point is 00:14:06 juice drink like different takes on the martini savory martinis msg martini and stuff like that olive oil martini popping up and we've been reticent to that really think it's going to be the drink of the summer because like a martini right isn't really drink of the summerish to us yet here is another big article saying yet again pickle a martini so so i simply don't know but i gotta say the the drink of the day we're about to get into is also a contender for drink of the summer because this was like a viral sensation yeah for sure just because of sheer numbers sheer numbers the the the the era's tour is hitting all the biggest stadiums in the land so like every night the 80,000 people.
Starting point is 00:14:45 The best publicity a drink could ask for. They're getting a lot of word of mouth. Maybe we do the Piccolini next week. That could rock. There's a pickle martini at Verdugo in LA over in, what is that, Glossopark? I mean, we all love picklebacks, do we not? We do. But here's the thing I think we've discussed.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I like a nice solid punch of pickle juice. I don't know if I want to sit there sipping pickle juice. They're in these martinis, Jay. Mixed with other things. You're using it in lieu of the olive brine. I was in Catskill, New York at New York Restaurant, a Polish place with really good food.
Starting point is 00:15:29 And they had a pickle martini on the menu and it was perfectly balanced. It was just the way that olive brine is used in a slightly dirty martini. Okay. But am I going to be able to make a good one with some Vlasic? You can. I just don't think drink of the summer. I think it'll be a nice evening drink in the fall or something. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah, I can't think of when you would drink a pickle martini. I can think of why you would drink it. You have a steak sitting in your stomach. Oh, and you need to. Nearly whole. Nearly whole. You swallowed it whole? Nearly whole. Nearly whole. You swallowed it whole? Nearly whole.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And you're like, God, I forgot to use that thin, sharp thing next to the fork. Oh. What do I do? Fork's sharp friend, the knife. And then you remember, oh, maybe I take this little martini. Sailing down the esophagus um you know in goldfinger when james bond is strapped to the table and uh and uh wait goldfinger gold and i know gold finger yeah the old one yeah there's a laser between james bond's legs and it's working its way up to his crotch. Are you sure you don't mean itchy and scratchy?
Starting point is 00:16:47 Itchy and scratchy inspired this James Bond stunt. But sometimes a nice cold martini will do that to the stake in your stomach. As it's toppling down your esophagus, cuts through. Well, and faster than the James Bond one was like a slow sort of dramatic tension builder. This is fast. Right, but if we ever make a movie of this, we should do it slow. And the throat swallows really slow. And here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:17:12 The steak is sitting there whole, right? And here comes the martini. All these cuts really fast. The steak doesn't even know it's been cut, right? It sort of like blinks for a second. And then the pieces like fall apart. Like in a John Woo movie. And then a few hours later after digestion,
Starting point is 00:17:28 then Sean Connery looks in the toilet and he's like, there's something different about this steak. Yeah, because Sean Connery's the lead. Yeah. Oh, my steak
Starting point is 00:17:44 is back, but something's changed it doesn't have that meaty smell it had once had connery get your nose out of the toilet sorry okay um what was that well i guess just a call to slop heads keep your eye out for these pickle martinis i'm gonna try to have all of the the martini variations but i still have this secret hope in the back of my head that the wisdom we gleaned in the spring about bramble rambles and stuff i think berry liqueurs kier beers little drizzlers and perhaps even into now that the spaghet is like pretty much a mainstream drink i i think it's gonna be either miller high life or modelo or other clear glass bottle beers that are gonna get little drizzlers and i could
Starting point is 00:18:32 see it being creme de cassis oh you think creme de cassis is gonna be the big name of liqueurs or sham board or oh yeah sham board oh wait is sham board oh yeah i meant to say sweetie i meant Or Shambord. Oh, yeah. Like a Shambord. Oh, wait. Is Shambord... Oh, yeah. I meant to say Shambord. That's a little sweetie. I meant to say Shambord because people are going to enjoy buying the Shambord bottle. Yeah. And what was the other one?
Starting point is 00:18:53 Creme de Mere. Creme de Mere. Creme de Mere. Yeah. Creme de Mere. Yeah. That's a good, Tim. That's a good forecast because, you know, if you want to get the drink of the summer
Starting point is 00:19:02 nailed down, you got to start strong. Yeah. Yeah. Keep your eye out there we also uh slop heads who are uh been listening to the blowout from last year from since last year we will probably do another song in the summer oh yeah oh we'll do something we'll also do a song our song like uh summer playlist. Ooh, that's good. Sloppy Boys 23. Oh, yeah. We made a nice Spotify playlist of songs we love so that the Slopheads can rock along with us. Yeah. I think we talked about it on the show.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Tap your foot. Tap your foot. Tell your friend to boogie down. Is that it for Booze News? All right. You guys thinking about getting another drink of the day, huh? That would be great. I thought that might be appropriate.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Lavender Haze, you've had? No. No. You've heard. I've heard. Yeah, only because of the pod. Yes. Yeah, wasn't this the uh booze news from last week
Starting point is 00:20:06 this was last week's booze news and we said let's go with it let's run with the story if it bleeds it leads beb um yeah so it all starts with a song by tay tay um you know there's the album midnights came out this past fall and track one is a song called lavender haze and this phrase the phrase that pays you know i tell you all about it but why not listen to taylor herself oh nice let's listen to the clip lavender haze is track one on midnights and i happened upon the phrase lavender haze when i was watching mad men Nice. Let's listen to the clip. Lavender Haze is track one on Midnight's, and I happened upon the phrase Lavender Haze when I was watching Mad Men. Look at you. You're in the Lavender Haze.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I looked it up because I thought it sounded cool, and it turns out that it's a common phrase used in the 50s where they would just describe being in love. Like, if you were in the lavender haze, then that meant that you were in that all-encompassing love glow. And I thought that was really beautiful. She's so beautiful and happy. She's a model and she's from a good family and she's educated. What's her name? Elizabeth. Betty. Theoretically when you're in the lavender haze you'll do anything to stay there and not let people bring you down off of
Starting point is 00:21:32 that cloud. I want to ask her to marry me. Oh Dick that's wonderful. We live in the era of social media and if the world finds out that you're in love with somebody they're gonna weigh in on it um like my relationship for six years we've had to dodge weird rumors tabloid stuff and we just ignore it um and so this song is sort of about the act of ignoring that stuff to predict to protect the real stuff so already a little dated because she was talking about her boyfriend joe alwyn who she broke up with more recently and they were dating for six years they certainly were he was like the london boy in their one song he's kind of like an actor from is he a movie star oh he's an actor okay yes yes yes okay um then she dated maddie healy the 1975 guy and then there was the whole thing with ice spice and he's kind of a piece of shit but i'm behind this drink we're getting at is she's on
Starting point is 00:22:33 dating taylor a lot oh boy mike i'm team edward as far as I know. Still am. She's on tour right now. The Aras tour is huge, playing every giant, gigantic. I mean, and in the case of North Jersey, giant stadium problem. Is this still called giant stadium? I think it's MetLife Stadium. Yeah, she played here already. Great.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Fuck my life. Corporate shit. I'm going to see her at SoFi in LA in August. So as we talked about on Booze News, when you go to the bar to get a drink at the concessions at the Eras Tour, there are two Taylor Swift themed drinks. One is Bad Blood Sangria. Cool. And the other one is the Lavender Haze Lemonade. And it has become very beloved by fans saying it looks beautiful and it is delicious and then it kind of people were approximating it they were talking about on twitter and then they were making it on tiktok and then cosmopolitan cosmo um reached out to taylor's
Starting point is 00:23:40 camp and just flat out got the official recipe and you just gotta ask sometimes yeah they they forked it over and then we read it on booze news last week and we're like damn this shit's fancy it's got stuff you wouldn't expect a stadium drink to have in it and then also we were looking at the ingredients just now this fucker is strong it's a big drink made for a big 30 stadium cup or something yeah it's a big stadium glugger it's because yeah so you can drink it the whole night through i uh yeah when i saw what's it's well say what's in it tim go ahead oh tim also i heard that this started on social media like this started as a tiktok thing that somebody made inspired by the song and taylor said hey i'm
Starting point is 00:24:22 gonna make it the official thing so are you pointing out the fact that i didn't do enough research no i'm supplementing ah perfect um i didn't know that but that sounds uh i'll do a thing where i sort of skim an article you know what i mean yeah oh what's over here what's down there oh what's way back up top again i don't know um but it's nice you know the song lavender haze and then this is uh you know it's got a purple gin in it that makes a nice lavender haze looking thing so here is the official recipe that makes one cocktail they point that out because there's big pores of all this shit yeah five ounces empress 1908 gin which gives it its color five ounces of gin jesus christ it's a lot we're gonna be swift yeah um one and a half ounces of falernum liqueur do
Starting point is 00:25:15 you guys have got it i have we bought falernum for our second episode right um yeah that was the first weird uh weird ingredient that we had tough time pronouncing and we got a kick out of saying falernum and it sucked because our first episode was tom collins nice and easy and then we were like let's go straight to the zombie and then we're it was a don don the beachcomber recipe and we're like fuck we have to buy 10 bottles and it was like 100 bucks um i still have that old bottle of falernum, which is like, it's got a cloviness to it. One and a half ounces of lemon juice, three dashes rhubarb bitters.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Jeff, you found this for us. Yeah, that's a Fee Brothers, I believe. I love Fee Brothers. And I'll say this, when I was making Tim a little bottle of rhubarb bitters, I caught the smell and it was weirdly nostalgic to me. Interesting. Oh, I've smelled this before,
Starting point is 00:26:11 almost as like a flavor more than anything. I conflate it with like fake strawberry flavor or something, like popsicle flavor. Because of strawberry rhubarb pie is the only time I've eaten rhubarb. Strawberry rhubarb pie. But as I smelled it, I thought, man, am I actually a big rhubarb fan? And? Yeah, yeah, yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:26:32 You are? Okay. Yes. I was not able to finish this recipe, Tim. Well, I was going to say, I'm a big fan of rhubarb, but I'm not a big fan of rude barbers. Yeah, you might want to say what that is. I think it's something to go with it. Rude barbers yeah you might want to say what that is i think it's self-explanatory um rude barbers rude barbers was a nickname for women that didn't like women that aren't interested in us but specifically wait well it was well but hey we're not the type of guys they're like hey you
Starting point is 00:27:00 turn down my advances and i'm turning rude no No, no, no. We're good, great, great kinds of guys. Good men. I think the origin of this was the time that we were up at Sapphire in the Valley, now Laurel Tavern, and we stepped in the front door and we immediately, two girls looked at us and then they turned to each other and one of them goes, let's get out of here. These white guys are so ugly.
Starting point is 00:27:29 We didn't say nothing to them but lady later on we said we bumped into a couple of rude barbers okay the final ingredient is elderflower tonic water now i know elderflower as like what saint germain liqueur has in it i've never had elderflower tonic water jeff you found it at cap and cork and los feliz q sure i found it easily like it's it's that like something tree i don't have a fever tree fever tree that's right i love that that sounds like some harry potter shit to me but it is out there a lot of people make elderflower tonic yeah um what is elderflower is it just a flower old yeah but it's popular with gin. That's why it's always tonic. Any flower, when it gets old enough, is an elderflower.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah. Okay, here are the steps here. Add the gin, falernum, and then lemon juice, in that order, to a shaker. Add the bitters and a handful of ice and shake thoroughly for five seconds. Pour into a rocks glass. Fill the glass with ice, then top off with tonic. Stir and garnish with a lemon peel after
Starting point is 00:28:29 expressing the peel around the rim of your glass. Okay. I noticed we strain, yeah? We're straining? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like a lot of steps. They're not doing that in a stadium setting. Well, they're batching it for stadiums. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of steps. They're not doing that in a stadium setting.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Well, they're batching it for stadiums. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we're doing it the way you would, I guess. We made something kind of recently that was like, oh, it's a gin sour, and then you top it. Oh, the bramble. So it's kind of like that. Or a lot of high balls, you shake up the – you make a little sour,
Starting point is 00:29:03 you shake it up, and then you top it off with uh soda i i didn't see the shaking part and i was i was under the impression this is a stirred drink but now i'm saying yeah i thought it was going to be a gradient drink you've got to shake it off shake it off interesting but i guess it's just purple just plain purple that's a taylor Swift song I was mentioning there. Go ahead. Oh! No, yeah, we know. So I couldn't get rhubarb bitters.
Starting point is 00:29:31 I went to four places. I went to a nice place, a regular place. In my neighborhood, I couldn't find it. But I did get my hands on some ginger bitters. Now, that's going to be a different taste. I might do that for my... I don't know. I think I'm going to do it without.
Starting point is 00:29:49 I think I'm going to do it without first. I just got ginger bitters. Sounds good. The guy said, yeah, this might work. Maybe I should just do Angostura bitters. Something. I don't know, Jeff. When we tasted this rhubarb bitters,
Starting point is 00:30:02 it wasn't very Angostura. It was kind of sour and fruity and bright sour fruit yeah i maybe just hold the bitters mike or use the ginger whatever you want to do but i don't think that angostura really does i don't know i don't know well you'll figure something out knowing you you'll figure i'm gonna have to sometimes in life you gotta improvise, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I do. Yes, and can we go make these drinks? Oh, don't do that yes and joke.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Sorry. Fuck. There's a lot of improvisers out there that would not appreciate that. I can handle it. Oh, yeah? What about Rob Riggle? What would he have to say?'d say you're done yeah guys what kind of it says rocks glass but this this is for a gigantic drink huge i'm gonna put in this is
Starting point is 00:30:57 clearly the first recipe that cosmo has posted in a long time because i'm noticing a lot of missed steps no mention of straining how are we going to put all that in a long time. Because I'm noticing a lot of missteps. No mention of straining. How are we going to put all that in a rocks glass? Hey, there's no IBA. I'm going to do it in a rocks glass, but I'm just going to pour what fills up a rocks glass. And then my subskin drinks will just be out of the shaker. I might use a fucking... Martini glass?
Starting point is 00:31:21 No, what's the hurricane glass? Oh, that could be fun. A big boy. It comes the's the the hurricane glass oh that could be fun a big boy it comes the story of the hurricane glass all right you wanna go do it yes folks we'll be right back after this and we're back lavender hazes in hand let's see them oh beautiful jeff in that in oh mike too we're looking good looking good here yours guy yours is darker than mine mine's fucking huge jeff's is really. You're filling up a whole hurricane lantern. I didn't need to add too much tonic. Yeah, it didn't seem like I scooped some ice out
Starting point is 00:32:12 to make room so I could get some tonic. I have the rest of my shaker in my freezer right now. I didn't want to make a huge glass. Nice. Sips? Yeah. Sips! I will say when I poured it into my my glass it was a nice haze effect lavender oh you know it looks pearlescent sips
Starting point is 00:32:33 oh yeah oh wow taylor you've done it again boy you don't taste any of that five shots of alcohol or whatever. I'm a little confused at how this thing got this sweet. Is falernum that sweet? I guess so. Yeah, it must be. Also, the tonic's got some sweet, too. Yeah, did you try the tonic on its own? It's delicious, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Herbal. Herbal. Herbal essences. Still, though, I was like, Empress Gin, I tasted it, and it's just gin. herbal herbal essences still though i was like um empress gin i tasted it it's just gin it doesn't taste purple or so we're getting all this we didn't have any simple syrup or anything so it's really a little bit of the from the tonic and a lot from the florinum but man this uh yeah it was hard to fit in the glass so i don't know if i added the appropriate amount of tonic water you did it's very uh it's
Starting point is 00:33:26 it's very sweet and it's very boozy it's a lot of everything but you know if if you're going to the concession stand you want to get one drink to last you all night yes imagine me front row at the taylor concert with basically a giant fucking bramble in my hand i couldn't be happier hell yeah you take you drink that one thing for four hours i'll tell you what it's also this is gonna get us tanked and that's really fun when you're at a concert and i'll probably have oh yeah you can never tell when i go to the show in in august but also right now i'm just like think about the the meaning that we just learned from mad men and from something like out lavender haze like there's a lot going on in the aftertaste of this drink it's very floral and i'm breathing and i'm like yeah there's the weird falernum and
Starting point is 00:34:18 there's the rhubarb bitters and there's elder and also there's the gin there's yeah there's the steam coming off the alcohol there really is but i do feel like there's like gin. There's the steam coming off the alcohol. There really is. But I do feel like there's like a mist around me and my breath. And like, I do feel like that haze. Tim, you look beautiful. Do I have that feeling like I just fell in love and no one has ruined it for me? Yeah. Rosy-cheeked.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Yeah. No haters for miles. And I see behind you there, Tim, on your desk, you just have a brand new copy of Heathcliff's Collected Cartoons. Is that what you're in love with? What are you talking about? I don't have shit. You're full of shit.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Oh, I'm just being silly. I'm a few sips deep and I'm getting a little loose. Already? I don't care hey how about this garfield orange cat with an old timey name james garfield president uh uh heathcliff orange cat with an old timey name from like jane austin but both orange cats and they both have old names there could be a lawsuit uh to look into in the record books there to see if they ever went head to head. I just don't know if I have a legal stance to sue myself, like to me get involved.
Starting point is 00:35:35 No, I wouldn't get involved. I would just look at it. It could be a class action suit for everyone who enjoys the work of those cats. I'm guessing this suit has already happened. No, no, no. If there was going to be a suit, it would have happened already. So here's what we did. On suits. We debut the new Sloppy Boys mascot, Coolidge
Starting point is 00:35:54 the Orange Cat. Everyone loves Coolidge. Everyone loves Coolidge the Orange Cat. It's cool because cool is written. But he doesn't have stripes. This cat may look a little like Chester Cheetah. Oh, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:36:13 His name is Chester. Yeah. Hey, Orange Cat is a good timey name. Orange cats have old names. Okay, wait a second, though. Chester A. Arthur was a president. James Garfield was a president. If only there had been a president named Heathcliff,
Starting point is 00:36:28 then this would be such a good thing. I bet there was somebody trying to be president named Heathcliff. What if we just do a Mandela effect type thing where we just announce that? We just say, like, isn't it crazy? The three orange cats have three president names and Mandela effect. There's got to be more orange cats
Starting point is 00:36:46 too, damn it. Yeah, I've never seen an orange cat named Jaden. Right. The name's too new. The name's too new, you see. Yeah, we don't have any Jadens as presidents yet. Yep. Damn. We got a dick.
Starting point is 00:37:01 No, do we? Come on. Richard Nixon, I guess. I would say Joe Biden is a dick as well. Let's go, Brandon, baby. Oh, no. Shit. No, Tim, you can't do that. Because all our new Taylor Swift fans who are listening right now are like, what?
Starting point is 00:37:21 Who? Yeah. What did I sign on to? I love this podcast. Oh, yeah. i can't stop listening i i get all my dirt talk from here so i gotta keep listening their thumb is shaking over the pause button they can't press it i can't stop this wonderful podcast of idiots no matter how much i hate it it makes me so sad in my life i want to get a coolidge t-shirt if they would only make them
Starting point is 00:37:46 the snarky the snarky solid orange yellow cat you know it'd be funny like uh he's the coolidge is sort of standing there cool with his arms crossed on the t-shirt and his bubble says uh what's it to you something like that that's his attitude yeah what's it to you leave me alone what's it to me what's it to you did you guys know that sonic was created as a counterpoint to mario yeah i mean i just did you know that i didn't have to learn it i just i just knew it and they said uh you know mario was created to be welcoming and they said oh yeah well sonic's created to be cool yeah yeah well that worked he was he was cool knuckles was a badass yeah knuckles made sonic knuckles mario wait is it is it miles
Starting point is 00:38:42 or tails tails tails but his name is miles miles his name is miles but his nickname oh well yeah Wait, is it Miles or Tails? Tails. Tails, but his name is Miles. His name is Miles, but his nickname is Tails. Do you think that Tails, I think that Tails was created as a counterpoint to Luigi first before the Sonic Mario thing. And then they worked their way backwards. They said, who's going to be the main guys though? We got the side guys. Well, then who's the Toad?
Starting point is 00:39:02 Yeah, who's Toad? Oh God. Well, we know he's 32, so let's build his characteristics backwards from that okay he's 32 he's uh lives with his friends to clarify for the swifties who just tuned in and fell in love with us um ah yes we looked up toad and he's 32 canonically toad's age is 32 i guess it never changed look it up yourself google it you don't believe me he doesn't love googling your your precious taylor lyrics try googling this for try googling our lyrics you know what you know what i should find i have them right here yes
Starting point is 00:39:36 i have them i have them right here mock-ups for coolidge designs i forgot you know that because there was a Taylor song that was, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling Toad is 32. Oh! But that was a Booze News theme, not a mashup. So I can't play it. Maybe we'll play it at the end. Let's play it at the end.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Wait, wait. You made this? No, no. Remember, this was an old episode where somebody sent in a Taylor. I don't know about you, but Toad is 32. That's so funny. You don't remember this? I don't remember that either.
Starting point is 00:40:11 I was drunk. Okay, we're playing it at the end of the episode. That was a really good booze news, whoever sent that in. I think I didn't realize it was Taylor Swift if I did hear it. Yes. Swift-y. Oh, by the way, on the blowoutout this week we're talking about our favorite taylor swift songs of which there are a ton she's been around for a long time it's crazy i'll say this
Starting point is 00:40:33 to me it's worth mentioning on the main i just started listening to midnights lately because uh you mentioned it and we're doing this drink yeah man it's great so that's my shit you're doing the deluxe edition? You're going all the way to... I started with the standard. I'll get to the deluxe. Is that her latest, Midnight? Yeah, and it's more poppy, which is kind of my version of Taylor.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Sure. Taylor, Jefferson's version. Oh, my gosh. You redo all her songs? But that one's Jack Antonoff as opposed to 1989 is max martin okay um yeah i mean 1989 is a classic and that's my shit but i will also admit that i'm getting drunk off this drink are you guys yeah look how far i've gotten i've gotten gotten an inch down. It's really refreshing, too. The hurricane glass. I meant to say bigger than the whole sky,
Starting point is 00:41:28 and I said bigger than the big sky. And I'm realizing I didn't stir it or maybe drink from the top. I was drinking from the bottom, and I got all the gin first, and I'm getting hit. I feel very pink-cheeked and sweaty in a euphoric way.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Like when you first fall in love, it's intoxicating. Tim, you're in the lavender haze mom this guy can't get out of love this is this drink is tastes really good and it's just it makes you refreshed yeah it also turns you on and i'm also kind of like uh thinking like oh this kind of looks like the grape gatorade i like. So maybe I'm thinking that too. Arctic Freeze? If this was brown, I'd be like... Yeah, Arctic Freeze is my fave. If this was brown, I'd be like, maybe I'm not loving this as much.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Hold on. But it's a color of a drink I like. Frost, maybe. Yeah, purple frost. Purple frost, purple Gatorade. What's it called? Arctic Freeze is blue. Oh. What's the one on... Purple Freeze. Oh,. Purple Gatorade. What's it called? Arctic Freeze is blue. Oh.
Starting point is 00:42:26 What's the one on... Purple Freeze. Oh, Riptide Rush? Yeah, I guess so. I don't even look at the label. I just say, it's light purple. I'll take it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:36 I'll take that drink. Fierce Grape. You know what I've never had? I don't think I... What's 50 Cent's company? Vitamin Water. I don't know if I've ever had a vitamin water. You haven't had Power Triple S?
Starting point is 00:42:47 Tig's favorite drink is pomegranate. I know, I haven't had it. Your niece. I know. I always feel like the vitamin water, the look of it is just like, it looks like a, looks like a, oh, some sort of medical drink or something. I don't, the label looks too medical for me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Yeah. Man, that's why 50 Cent's rich, by the way. Vitamin water. Right. That's his big thing. What about in the club bottle of bub? Yeah, that's pretty good too. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Starting point is 00:43:19 You know what? A big, we should write a birthday song. Because that's not a birthday song, but it does start off with, Hey, shorty, it's your birthday. You got to write a song that has another thing. It has a little thing to it. Yeah. We need to write a song that they would play in every stadium across the world.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Oh, I got one for you. It's this. Why are they? If we like riffs what about or hey we just we just flipped that last one so it goes it almost sounded like it was getting to the curb your enthusiasm. I like when the note isn't necessarily ascending what the volume is. I can see a crowd of European soccer fans going... And their team capturing soccer's win. A goal.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Soccer's ultimate move. The goal. The kick into the goal. The kick of the cleat and the ball in the net. The boots on the pitch. It's the ultimate move. The ball spinning and being slowed only by the thin nylon of the net. Hey, make all the passes you want.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Yeah. You're still going to get topped by the goal. Yeah. You can have the best pass in the world. A better play is a goal. And don't forget the shin guard. Ouch. Yep.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah, that's the sound of just putting them on. Imagine getting hit with them. You're going to need that shin guard when it comes time for slide tackle, yowch! Yowch! Yeah, there's a guy sliding right off the field out of the stadium. Yowch! Wow! Wow!
Starting point is 00:45:20 Oh man. I'm hitting the showers. What's the very end? one season three i think you should leave which sketch ends with wow there's like a freeze i don't remember oh yeah yeah the such i just we've all watched season three the uh the endings of those are all so funny every time it's you know even when they don't even like have some crazy funny thing like that then they just get out they just like they never overstay their welcome they're just gone that like and that music pops in that's so fun yeah and they're just like best of all for those like yeah you know they they
Starting point is 00:46:01 really tightened up like how we're gonna get out of each and every one of these. They tight. Son of a, like, the Patty Harrison Rat Queen sketch is like, we're out. And then the Connor O'Malley went, like, Tim is, like, scrolling Connor's Tasty Time video sketches. And just the credits roll. They're just like, I don't know. We got to go. Yeah. Well, it's also, it's like, it did exactly what it was supposed to do. Make us laugh.
Starting point is 00:46:23 And it was great. And what else? Who cares? The night that that – I told you guys this, but I'll tell our pod listeners. I'm a huge fan of I Think You Should Leave. I was very excited for the day it came out. I wanted to watch at midnight, and I came home from a barbecue because it was Memorial Day weekend, and I had eaten three burgers,
Starting point is 00:46:45 two hot dogs. Oh, full hot dogs. Kind of, yeah, that's like a royal straight flush though because when we lived at the Oakwood apartment, Oh, yes. That's what it was. We used to get a full house and three hot dogs, two burgers. So mine was burgers over dogs.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Burgers over dogs. Ooh, that sounds pretty good. On Memorial Day. Burgs over dogs, read them and weep. I had a full house burgers over dogs, two spaghets and a Pabst, like a THC Pabst.
Starting point is 00:47:21 How was that? Timmy, those are great, aren't they? If you're me, it's a good thing to drink if you want to fall silent at a barbecue and not talk to the people who are hosting you. Yeah. But they're good. They're very good.
Starting point is 00:47:34 You just have to know your limits because it's got like 10 milligrams of THC and then five milligrams of something called THC-V, which kicks in a little faster because, you know, edibles take so long to kick in. Yeah, you're right. So they had,
Starting point is 00:47:48 they put this thing that will work a little quicker and then burn off a little quicker to bridge the gap. But Tim, I did hear tales of your monk, like calm. Yeah. So I got home, I'm sitting on my couch gray and I'm looking at the clock.
Starting point is 00:48:04 And I said, it's 7 30 p.m and i want to watch i think you should leave at midnight on the dot because i can't i love tim robinson so much i can't allow anyone on earth to see this show before me sure also 7 30 p.m maybe the worst time to be drunk and too full yes so full holding my stomach you're not you're not coming back from anything i'm going oh my stomach and i said i was like i can't believe it's 7 30 i have nothing to do what am i gonna do till midnight and i like had the thought like i wish i could time warp to midnight but what i'm gonna do and god heard my prayer and at 7 30 i fell asleep and had one of those dreamless instant sleeps where opened my eyes and it was 2 a.m and i was like hey i did it i did i slept
Starting point is 00:48:57 i slept from 7 30 to 2 a.m and then i put on i think you should leave and i watched the whole thing laughed my ass off in the middle of the night like a doorknob by myself so fucking funny so funny and watching it like i there were this hasn't happened to me in years like pausing stuff to like laugh and calm down so i can continue so i could yeah also that's like such a strong uh covid lockdown feeling of laughing my ass off by myself in my living room yeah like everything's fine it's but it's a sign of a good show because normally it it helps to watch with people but when you're oh man sitting alone and laughing out loud you know that like well that's undeniably great i know i i like to watch i watch it by myself and then i've watched it a bunch now with other people and I like watching their
Starting point is 00:49:45 reaction. Like I'm a wise old guru. Who's like, yes, you will like this next, next, but, um,
Starting point is 00:49:52 every sketch, every sketch is funny. Like every, Oh yeah. Thing. It's crazy. But, but the,
Starting point is 00:49:58 that thing of pausing to laugh, I, I backed it up so many times in the first episode, that doggy door sketch, the last like three lines are so what times in the first episode, that doggy door sketch, the last like three lines are so what he was like. Yes. He has the thing about his wife
Starting point is 00:50:12 flipped by a swing dancer and then he's sad because for 50 seconds he thought there was monsters on the world. But then like a picture in picture over shoulder shot of himself pops up over his shoulder to say, we really know very little and then after that he says for 50 seconds i thought there were monsters on the world it's like the three funniest lines i've ever heard in a row all on top of each other
Starting point is 00:50:39 and i had to back it up and back it up. It's so fucking funny. Oh my God. Honestly, the first episode too coming right out the gate with the fake water splash. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first sketch in the first episode, right? Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:50:56 The first one is on my phone. The pundit who goes on his phone. Yeah. The second sketch is, we know that guy too, Bardiaia right uh he's funny as hell and and uh he's great when they're doing the splashes hey look at this guys look look at that look at the haze in the drink i didn't really realize how it's not just lavender it's but it's lavender haze ah well that's uh that's for because of the linen
Starting point is 00:51:19 oh look at that oh shit i'm dripping on my laptop oh boy condensation that dry condensation jeffy gotta watch out now look we've had a great time discussing this drink and tim robinson and taylor and all that stuff would you change anything about this contender for perhaps drink of the summer i would change i would put the rhubarb bittersons i'm missing that but this is so good they're coming through i'll tell you what three dashes three dashes in that whole thing though i did three pretty big dashes because i wanted to taste it you're a dash master it smells like do you remember slush puppies like the possibly the shittiest version of a slush yeah yeah yeah yeah it smells like that to me
Starting point is 00:52:06 interesting the rhubarb does yeah interesting it's weirdly like sweet sour fakey fruit is rhubarb does it kind of look like celery like it takes that shape mike i couldn't tell you i can't tell me it does yes it is that yeah it's a When you eat a strawberry rhubarb pie, you can sometimes get a little look at some cubes of it. So wait, is this the purple celery? That's chard. That's Swiss chard. Oh my God. I don't know shit about rhubarb.
Starting point is 00:52:33 That I see. I think the only thing I would change is a bigger cup because I want to put more ice so it can get meltier and I want to put more tonic water to chill it out a bit because it's pretty intense. See, I don't feel like it is too intense. Maybe it's because I
Starting point is 00:52:51 added more of the elderflower tonic than you guys did. I'm using a pint glass. The fuck? Here's what I would change. I wish I had paid $30 for at a taylor swift concert front row tim can you can you we can bleep it can you tell us how much you paid for your taylor swift ticket
Starting point is 00:53:15 to at sofi we're not believing it um 400 bucks two tickets 800 bucks probably what uh where and then this is ultimate nosebleeds back row top wow but damn that reminds me you're asking me about the the show in august at sofi but i did go to the one at um metlife you did it's corporate ass venues you i wanted to i actually you were here you were here on the east coast i didn't even know that it was just last weekend i think i just wanted to slip in and out i i i flew into yeah okay i didn't want to bother you um i get you but i actually had a kind of an interesting experience i didn't want to change the topic but did you guys want to hear about it sure uh sure yeah so i mean we were gonna go to break but i mean if you if you got something to say it's your pod it's your platform we'll go to break and we'll make our changes but real fast i
Starting point is 00:54:10 want to share with you that i'm at this taylor swift eras tour show and i'm i'm hearing all my favorite songs now we got bad blood you know yeah you gotta no you gotta no you got a blank space. Loving all the songs. But I get a little bit thirsty and parched and I wanted a drink. So I go down to the concessions, you know, and I'm thinking, what am I going to get? Yeah. Yeah, maybe the lavender haze you could try. Well, it's funny you mentioned that because i looked at the sign yeah and i saw two drinks that were for sale one was the bad blood sangria and i said i don't want that i
Starting point is 00:54:50 love sangria i had a reason in the pod but i don't want that then there was this other we heard booze news yeah yeah yeah we heard so there was this other drink other than the bad blood sangria there was another drink and i was like i'll get that one right right yeah this is the other drink so the other drink i'm waiting in line they then my moment comes and you know if you wait in a long stadium line when they finally it's your turn you can get a little flustered it's time to work yeah yeah yeah because you make the decision and then you get all that time and it's like wait fuck i made this what if you forget what if you get stressed out so you you know, the person at the concession lady is like, what can I get you? And I throw a deer in the headlights.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Right. And they got to turn them around too, so the pressure is on. Exactly. People are lining up behind me. Hey, we're waiting here. You know? Hurry up. What is up?
Starting point is 00:55:43 Oh, you know me from the pod? Yeah, and we don't like the pod. Oh. Hey. Just keep it to yourself. Okay. Hey, that's your typical Swifty. Hey, hurry up.
Starting point is 00:55:56 They've got a gravelly voice. They know about the Sloppy Boys podcast. I want to make it back in time for Antihero. Well, you've heard that song a million times on the radio ashing a big cigar out on your foot it's the only one i know it's the only one i know it's the only one enough about the gex but on a serious enough um back to so i'm blanking and the concession lady's like what do you want and i was like well i i yeah i'm blank spacing i'm saying i want the new hot drink that everyone's talking about on twitter and tiktok and everything and it's it's a it's a purple it's a light purple drink and she's like yeah for even a moment do you think the lady was like he wants me to heat up some frost gatorade yes she turned to the other
Starting point is 00:56:42 person yeah because he wants the hot drink so that's why she would say that yeah so she started to do that and i told her to put away the the hot plate the bunsen burner and and she's like well what is it what if not the complicated tubes and valves that took some time okay we won't eat it put it all away's like, if not that, then what do you want? And I go, well, it's a drink, and I think it's named after a song, but it's like a light purple.
Starting point is 00:57:15 And again, let's go from back over your shoulder. Yeah, it's taking a while. Come on, I'm not feeling 22. Anyway. I'm with you. Anyway. uh uh come on i'm not feeling 22 um anyway i i was like i wish i could just think of the name of this drink song type situation and i get think of it oh my gosh just then i get a tap on the shoulder that's the tap?
Starting point is 00:57:46 I turn around. Taylor Swift. Oh my God. I shit you not. What the hell? I shit you not. So she probably had a costume change, took that time to jump out to the concessions? You're exactly right. It was during one of her costume changes.
Starting point is 00:58:01 to those concessions. You're exactly right. It was during one of our costume changes. And Hanford, a lot of times these big stadium shows, they're so dialed in that you might even see a body double on stage
Starting point is 00:58:12 for a moment when the real artist has something else to do. Right. That's why they build in those moments. I wonder if Tim was dealing with the real or fake Taylor. Go ahead, Tim.
Starting point is 00:58:21 Maybe you'll answer that. You'll see this with Melania Trump and you'll see this with Taylor. Yeah. I think on stage in this moment, I think Jack Anginoff was doing the robot and everyone was clapping, so she had a couple of minutes. Jack! Jack!
Starting point is 00:58:35 Jack, you're going to have to do your beatboxing robot for a second. I need to go to concessions. Alright, Swifty! I was like, Taylor! Taylor, I love concessions so she goes all right swifty i was like taylor i i turned her late taylor i love your directing and i love all the ones like was taylor like you talking to me like no not you no that didn't that wasn't it would have been funny that shouldn't happen i mean i would love it but it was taylor swift and i was like, I love all your songs and all your everything.
Starting point is 00:59:05 But, um, and I heard you, um, there's this drink. I'm trying to remember it. It's kind of a light purple foggy type of thing. And I think that it's based on when your songs or something. And she sort of, you know, she can get kind of a knowing smile. This story is about the length of an era's tour show. Well, here's what happened. No, Tim, I know.
Starting point is 00:59:30 The knowing smile. Knowing smile. She goes, oh, you're talking about a certain light purple foggy drink based on one of my songs. Still not saying it, though. Well, she takes out a guitar and she says to me, she goes, She takes out a guitar and she says to me, she goes, she says, well, I think this song might jog your memory. I go, oh, a song.
Starting point is 00:59:55 I think it is based on a song. She's like, yeah, it's based on a song. And she says, well, listen to this. And there's no more dragging out. She does it. She plays the song. I take out my phone and I hit record. Oh, good, good, good, good, good. Oh. Lavender haze.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Lavender haze. Lavender haze. Lavender haze, lavender haze, lavender haze, lavender haze, lavender haze, lavender haze, lavender haze. And it's all purple Purpy, warpy, whirlpool And it's got falernum And keep in mind It's named after one of my songs And the bitters are rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb The gin is all purple, purple, purple
Starting point is 01:01:00 I'm not gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake Stir the drink, stir the drink And you really should listen, listen, listen To my song about it, about it, about it And you know it's called, called, called, called, called Lavender Haze But you do shake it, you do, Taylor We learned that you do
Starting point is 01:01:24 You do, you do, you do You didn't do that You know, this just, You do, Taylor. We learned that you do. You do. You do. You do. You didn't do that. You know, this just, that's very interesting, Tim. And that's so cool that you got one of the biggest pop stars in the world ever to, you got a little private concert. Sort of do a side concert at the concert. Right. This does completely fulfill my theory that I always knew that
Starting point is 01:01:45 Taylor used some type of voice modification. Right, because this was the raw, unfiltered, no auto-tune. Yeah, and she sounds not like she sounds on her albums or in her concerts. Well, she's a real human being, Mike.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Yeah, that's true. She's been through a lot. She went through a breakup, you know? And she's starting to sound more like some sort of cookie monster. Kind of a raspy Greek vibe to her, if you ask me. I don't really know. Sort of a middle-aged man falls asleep on the couch
Starting point is 01:02:17 at 7.30 p.m. I guess what I'm getting is I kind of thought that she would sing a different song if you wanted to remind would sing a different song if you wanted to remind someone of a certain song you would think that she might sing that other song any any time sure any time uh one of us brings up these stories with recordings that we may or may not have uh i can never tell if it's helpful or not helping to ask a lot of questions.
Starting point is 01:02:47 Helps. Very much helps, yeah. Okay, good. I'm drunk off this drink. I got the five ounces of gin in my first slurp, I guess. My man. All right. Well, hey, I'm not going to go make a second round,
Starting point is 01:02:59 but we do need to take a break. I'm going to put a scoop of ice into this drink. That's what I'm going to do. Smart. Freshen it up. I'm going to put a scoop of ice into this drink. That's what I'm going to do. Smart. Freshen it up. I'm going to fill up my glass again. Okay, great. And folks, open up your ears and your
Starting point is 01:03:11 wallets and make way for this train of ads. And we're back with our final thoughts on the lavender haze. I... Oh, when I got my second round, I just tasted a little of that lavender or that elderflower tonic. That's where the sweet's coming from. You think so? We got some right here.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Oh, shit. I never put my ginger bitters in. Damn, I'm going to do that right now. Yeah, it's a little sweet. I think mine is an order again. Yes. For sure. I will get this at a bar this summer if they're doing it at bar.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Yeah, I would too. All right. I'm going to get my ginger bitters. You guys go ahead. Sure, sure sure sure i would say um i'm gonna make this again probably in my apartment because i have that purple gin you know damn if you got the purple gin you might as well do it your your house gets the guests are gonna be very lucky this summer they got the jay man mixing up lavender haze lemonade it's it's
Starting point is 01:04:20 funny to make what is going to be this is a 30 stadium drink we don't know the actual price but i can't imagine that it's not like 28 bucks yeah yes exactly and i get to make it for the for the low low price of this drink probably cost me nine dollars to me yeah that's a lot for it being in your house um i gotta say i love it order again hot drink and i would say honestly like truly delicious and contender for drink of the summer but it's a little too weird there's so many ingredients yeah it's a little too weird i would just say folks if you're a slophead and you're listening and you're like i'm not gonna get falernum or or rhubarb bitters i think that this could be this could catch on as just like empress gin and elderflower tonic water it's a gin and tonic yeah and it's just the taylor swift gin and tonic
Starting point is 01:05:17 but i don't think i think if you put isn't there an easier wasn't there an easier way to make it yeah cosmo listed another recipe but it was weirder and it also had you making lavender syrup which is no no no here's the thing this is a take on a gin and tonic is it not so just make it a gin and tonic when you make a gin and tonic yeah sure you have a lemon wedge in there but you don't always squeeze it in. I think Empress gin, elderflower tonic water, a lemon wedge. That's the drink that people could actually feasibly make. Nobody's buying falernum or rhubarb bitters. Sorry, Taylor.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Sure. So wait, why does this have such a berry vibe to me? And I compare it to the bramble, which was the drink of the spring for me. I don't know. It's a combination of everything i think because there's no berry ton of gin ton of lemon yeah this uh this ginger bitter is just adding just a little bit of a little tiny bite you barely you barely even taste it but it's just a little pinch on the side of your tongue by the way way, my round two, I just added fresh cubes and a little bit more tonic water to fill it out.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Just to ride through the blowout. This is a very good drink. It needs the cubes. It's got to be a big icy drink. Like a gin and tonic should be very icy. I had never heard of Empress. Have you guys? Nope.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Is it new? I wonder if it's new. No, it's 1908. Oh heard of Empress. Have you guys? Nope. Is it new? I wonder if it's new. No, it's 1908. Oh, of course. But is that another fake year? You know, we come across a lot of fake years. Hendrix. Hendrix, they put the gin bottle says established,
Starting point is 01:06:57 but they're talking, that's when Hendrix was established. They didn't start making gin until like 2004 or something. And I bet you Remy Martin isn't even 1738. Quite possible. You guys ever listen to Remi Wolf? Huh? Oh, no, I like Remi Wolf, Sexy Villain. That song's great.
Starting point is 01:07:18 Yeah, I love Remi Wolf. She's another sort of DIY pop-o-tour like Dutz. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Dutz. And she's from LA too. I think she went to USC. Tim, I seen her at Tabula Rasa. No shit.
Starting point is 01:07:32 Yep. That's cool. Tell her I like the song Michael and the song Prescription. Yeah, Prescription. Yeah, I like the song Prescription too. All right. You know what that means, folks. Folks.
Starting point is 01:07:44 Folks. And all the new listeners out there all the swifties welcome aboard all the swifties welcome aboard swift nation yeah swifties swift nation slop nation collab swifties uh people on the sloppy boys discord welcome the swifties when they cut when they get to the Discord. Yeah, and let them finish. I'm letting them finish. Tim. Topical.
Starting point is 01:08:13 Oh, I can't be completely funny? That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And hey, if you can't get enough enough boys go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys tune in turn on drop out yeah drop out of society and make your whole life about the pod if you don't get it we'll just spell it out for you we're a band with an album coming out cool singles we have podcasts where we talk about cocktails. Then we have this extra bonus podcast where we talk about dope shit.
Starting point is 01:08:50 It's a whole groovement. Get into it or get out. It is a groovement. And don't forget the bonus bonus questions for Lennon. Oh, you think I would forget that? Mike Mitchell this week. We got Mike Mitchell on there. Very funny.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Woo. Can I plug something too? Plug it, baby. Chicago! Chicago! I will be in Chicago at the Lincoln Lodge. That's right. Come on! I will be at the Lincoln Lodge
Starting point is 01:09:19 performing my brand of stand-up comedy I'm headlining, so I'll probably do like 45 minutes. maybe an hour. And you're sort of doing like an absurd Dadaism thing, right? Nope, I'm doing stand-up comedy. It's very fun, very funny. Don't listen to what Jeff's talking about.
Starting point is 01:09:36 I don't know. If that throws you, disregard it. Come to the show. It's that weird shit you love to do. It's at the Lincoln Lodge on July 28th and 29th. Go to their website and find tickets. And one of the shows, I think the first show, is selling pretty well. So get tickets before they are gone.
Starting point is 01:09:56 So, Mike, you're playing the Lincoln Lodge. And over here, I'm playing with Lincoln Logs. That's right. Jeff, I wish you were on tour with me. This is the type of humor you can expect in sets outside of mine. I'm building a small fucking cabin over here. What am I going to have my fucking Han Solo figure live in that? With a troll?
Starting point is 01:10:20 Yeah, what am I going to have? A stage Chewie out front chopping some blocks? For Firewood. More for Han because he doesn't, you know. He doesn't have the body hair, you see. Chewie's furry, you know that. You see Chewie. Come on, Tim, get into it.
Starting point is 01:10:40 All of a sudden you're not, hey! There he is. I thought he lost his Star Wars flair. No, he loves that geek shit. I love it. I mean, I really think that Mace Windu is a great character. Cause I'm a geek.
Starting point is 01:10:58 Alright, Radiohead. And I'm a Greedo. Alright, Greedo. What the hell am I flying here? Millennium Falcon. Okay. Are you guys drunk? I don't know how I'm going to record the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:11:16 I think I must be feeling a little something because of that parody song I just did. Now Mike's scaring the Swifties with all that geek shit. No, no, no. Swifties. We'll see you at our shows. Yeah. Alright, folks. Good episode this week. Oh, yeah. We'll see you next week for an even better one. How about that? We're promising now. We're committing to it
Starting point is 01:11:39 now. Next week's episode? Even better than this one. Yeah, oh yeah. They get better and better. I hope it rocks. Bye. Bye bye Swifties Toad is 32 Toad I love geek shit I tried to tell you guys this
Starting point is 01:12:01 Toad is 32 love geek shit. I tried to tell you guys this. Toe 3-2. It's booze news, you mushroom-headed bitches. Give it up for your boys

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