The Sloppy Boys - 143. Johnny's Dream
Episode Date: July 14, 2023The guys take on a mysterious drink from a viral tweet!JOHNNY'S DREAM RECIPE"2 parts" Silver Tequila (we did 2 oz)"1 part" Aperol (we did 1oz).5oz/15ml Lime Juice4-5 drops Orange Bitters1 squeeze Oran...ge JuiceCombine ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into a cocktail glass. Serve up with an orange twist.Recipe via Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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All right.
Oh, hey.
It's coming soon, folks.
It's coming soon, the album?
Mm-hmm.
Both albums?
Uh-huh.
You're talking about Sonic Ranch, the new album by the Sloppy Boys?
And the debut album from Dutz, Beyond Cool?
Dutz.
Mm-hmm.
Nice.
But not only are they coming,
for those who are waiting,
you're telling me there's an exclusive Hollywood event
they can attend that's a listening party
to hear these albums before they come out?
Yeah, folks, this is not a live performance.
This is a dramatic, Drake-esque,
exclusive listening event.
Hell yeah.
Anyone in LA on the 22nd of July can come to El Cid at 2 p.m. for a fee.
Well, only $10.
$10 plus fees.
Wait, you said El Cid.
You said El Cid.
That's a place that has sangria, a very popular podcast drink of ours.
We're playing both Beyond Cool and the new one from the Sloppy Boys, Sonic Ranch.
You're going to bask in the technological marvels of two unreleased albums.
Wow.
You're going to come by.
You're going to shake hands with the creators.
Maybe get a little merch.
You're going to come up to me.
You're going to say, hey,
you know,
T-Boy,
I got to pull you aside and I got to tell you,
you know,
Tim,
you're pretty much my boy
at this point
and I love you
and I love your two co-hosts.
I'm going to say,
hey,
Dutz,
come over here.
My girlfriend really likes you
and your work got me
through some really tough times.
Yeah,
and you're going to be like,
hey,
Hanford,
come over here.
You clogged the toilet in the men's room
Here's your plunger
Get the fuck out of here
Hey Mike, oh yeah, hey
Did you like the album? No, no, I work with
The restaurant, you need to leave
With what you did in the bathroom
After what you did
You made a mess
You did that here
That's the Sloppy Boys And Dutz two-for-one listening party.
Saturday, July 22nd, 2 p.m. at El Cid on Sunset Boulevard.
Tickets available now.
Gotta do it. Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford.
Hello, and Jeff, I just turned my AC off.
I heard, thank you so much.
Good.
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up? AC is always off over here.
I'm respectful of the podcast on every episode of every week.
And we are your hosts, the Sloppy Boys, back once again.
Oh boy, here we are.
Oh boy.
No, I see. I gotta have that AC on because I'm so hot all the time.
Oh.
You understand?
I thought you liked the noise.
Yeah, I like the noise.
I'll tell you, I love the summer because it's the great equalizer for the sweaty guy.
Here I am, I'm putting in the work all year sweating.
It's Christmas morning, sweating.
New Year's Eve, sweating.
Cinco de Mayo Very sweaty
And then in the hot hot heat of the summer
Everybody's sweating and I love it
I look around and I say hey
Look at people pitting out
Look at people doing
You merely adopted the sweat
I was born in it
Yeah I got major problems with the sweat
Your sweat Tim
I don't like to see it.
I don't like to see my boy slick.
I like to be sweaty and then be able to point to a reason.
Like, if I'm sweaty, I'm like, hey, you know, it's hot.
And people are like, yeah.
I have that note.
I'll be in an air-conditioned office in January and be dripping with sweat.
And people are like, what's wrong?
I'm like, uh,
I'm Greek.
I didn't see you.
I saw you walking around Hillhurst the other day and you were just pointing
up at the sun.
People were not looking at your phone,
but hand in the air.
That's the source of it all.
Hey,
I think next year there's going to be a big solar eclipse.
Huh?
Oh,
we got to do a Patreon episode about it.
Next year.
So look out for that.
It's not far away.
A solar.
I think that's the big one
where it's like,
it gets kind of dark
and animals go nuts
and everything's wild.
Yeah.
But of course,
you didn't start listening
to this podcast, folks,
to hear me guess about eclipses.
We've talked about how astrology is really popular.
Maybe we become the guys who start getting into kind of hip pop astronomy
and posting memes and talking about that.
Oh,
astronomy.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Well,
Hey,
if you want to hear us talk about astrology,
go over to the Patreon page and sign up for the blowout.
Oh, that's a good one.
Because we did an episode all about it.
Yeah, with Stevie Goldstein.
Yeah.
Fantastic time.
Yeah, from the What's Your Sign podcast.
I think one of ours was that we were going to wear more interesting hats this year.
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, but don't forget that we were going to embrace the danger.
Oh, of the hats. And become were going to embrace the danger Of the hats
And become more collaborative
And creative
I guess we've done that
Nice
No, I don't know what you're talking about
We've only just made an album with money, Mark
Two singles are out
Jeff's got two singles out
We're on the top of the charts, we think
Album's on the way, folks.
Album's on the way.
Don't worry about Olivia Rodrigo's album.
Worry about Dutz.
She'll be fine.
Guts doesn't come out until September.
She's missing the whole summer.
Big mistake by Livrod.
Oh, her album's called Guts, you said, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's funny.
Guts versus Dutz, I love it.
Guts versus Duts, yeah.
I love it.
I absolutely love it.
Guys, I didn't eat enough today,
so I'm hoping I don't really love this drink
or I'm going to be wee-hoo-wee-hoo.
Yeah, Mike, you got to get yourself some of these.
Oh, yeah, goldfish.
Cheddar goldfish.
Don't eat on the mic.
Don't eat on the mic.
Turn off the AC.
That's a top snack.
I'm having the feeling that you had when you did keto where all I've eaten today is for breakfast.
I had some of last night's buffalo wings reheated and they were most delicious.
But when you only just eat the protein, it's not a big puffy amount of food in my stomach.
And I feel sort of sweaty and schizo.
Tim, you need a hearty bed of green vegetables.
Yeah, or a bag of cheddar goldfish.
Hey, wait a minute.
I didn't eat that much today either.
I just said that.
That's how you know I didn't eat that much today.
You heard it when you said it.
No, what I was going to say is I only had cereal in the morning with a ton of strawberries in it,
and then a salad for lunch.
Oh, well, Mike, you know what you're going to want to do?
What?
Put a little booze in that empty stomach.
I know.
Oh, boy. Well, I do have some chicken marinating, but I didn't get a chance to cook it.
Don't skip
that step.
Mr. Purple sinewy
chicken. I've tried before
skipping that step, and it does
not work out well.
Well, what do you say we get into some booze
news first? Perfect. I love it.
Great.
Ladies
and gentlemen, this is Booze News number five.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen.
Tim, are you okay?
I don't get what's going on here.
Booze News number five.
Awe.
Ooh.
Booze News number five was sent to us by Chris Fink.
And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast.gmail.com.
Wow, that awe at the end was from the end of Gardens of Gamora, our new singles.
Awe.
As I was listening, I was like, when did Tim count that much?
But it must have been from a quiz.
A quiz.
A quiz.
Tim, count that.
When would he have had like 20 questions?
Oh, I bet it was the Javalanche.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We haven't had an avalanche-themed quiz in a while.
Javalanche-themed quiz in a while. A java lanche.
Right?
I think in the espresso martini episode,
there are some other lanche ones, too.
There is a...
We should bring back the lanche.
The lanche.
Lanche week.
Both Blowout and Maine are lanche-oriented.
It's lanche week.
What the fuck?
Don't even listen.
Why am I still listening to this show?
Why did we buy an expensive
billboard that says Lanch Week?
I mean,
we bombed with Vermouth Month
and now Lanch Week?
No, that was a hit.
We didn't get
Madonna movie bud going.
We did one movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Pisses me right off.
Zabba boobas, too.
Jeff, do you have a fancy hydro flask you were just drinking water from?
What is it?
This is a Yeti.
Yeti.
Oh.
Yeah, it's a big boy, huh?
Jeffy's got the Yeti.
There's maybe 36 ounces in there.
It feels like though your your
water bottle of choice says a lot about you these days mike what do you use nalgene i i got a big
no i got kind of like a it doesn't have the straw like jeff but it's a big uh kind of medley one
like that bigger bigger than jeff's too wide i can't even get my hand around what's your rocking
tim what's your vessel my vessel is like theDrive container, but look at this on my desk.
I've got this big LL Bean Nalgene-looking thing that I've never used.
Ooh, that's nice.
It's got a shirt in it?
It's got a roadside emergency kit inside of it, I think.
Oh, okay.
Or like a hiking.
Oh, yeah, it's an outdoor survival in a bottle.
Why do I need outdoor survival in a bottle?
You go outside all the time.
Yeah, it's a Hillhurst Avenue.
Okay, let's get into booze news.
What if we get stuck on your way to sous vide
egg bites?
Tim, you and Jeff,
you two should start a street fair
called Chillhurst.
It's a great idea. You shut down the
streets. There's vendors.
There's music.
Maybe it's an great idea. And you shut down the streets. It's a great idea. There's vendors. There's music. People are...
Maybe it's an ice cream shop.
Mom, maybe it's an ice cream shop
and we're making ice cream.
Ooh, cool treats.
Chiller.
There is enough...
I mean, I guess you guys do need another
ice cream place on this.
Yeah, yeah.
We're really hard up for ice cream on all of it.
Okay, what's the actual booze news?
I'm getting restless yeah
this week is is what you call quick bips oh nice um uh first first bip is a little one
uh that i already feel dismissive of but uh slophead little sergio on instagram sent us
this article from bloomberg and the headline is orange julius inspired cocktails are the drink of the summer
at high-end cocktail bars and restaurants citrus is having a retro moment plus two recipes you can
make at home as an article saying it's like you know it's orange juliusy things i didn't even
read the article because at this point we're like no, I think the sloppy boys should write an article about how the news media, the mainstream news media, how trigger happy they have become with saying drink of the summer.
Scale it back, folks.
Scale it back.
These days, it's anything.
They want to say anything.
Let's say at the bare minimum, one earthling must have had the drink during the course of the summer before
you can start.
And to say,
to say like,
Ooh,
citrus is having a comeback at the bar.
It's like,
Ooh,
paper clips are back at the office.
Yeah.
They didn't go anywhere.
That's good,
Jeff.
Thanks.
But anyway,
I guess I just wanted to know,
I think that I'm going to dismiss
this as hearsay, but Slopheads,
if you do see some Orange Julius
creamsicle frozen drinks or
desserts with booze in them that
are citrusy, let me know.
I do like a Julius.
Yeah, what is in that? It's orange juice and you
said cream. Is it just vanilla? Yeah, it's like
orange vanilla. Ice cream, probably.
Creamsicle. and it's a drink
all right it's good very 90s but there is one in pasadena i think i want to say yeah it's very mall
mall uh centric for me all fair only to be beaten out by an auntie ann's oh yeah i like auntie ann
better than pretzel time i gotta tell you yeah the wet pretzel especially the nuggets you get
you get like a basically a soda cup full of just the little balls yep yep those are good i'm always
sad though when you walk up to auntie ann's or wetzel's hoping for the samples and there's no
samples and and you have to go so close in order to look at the samples i can help you and i was
like no i'm not here to spend. I'm here to receive.
I'm here to take.
What's your pretzel there?
I do cinnamon raisin or cinnamon sugar.
Original, but buttery, salty, original.
Wow.
Yeah.
What's the next bit?
The next little bit is this is a Philadelphia bit from Secret Pants Sam on Instagram.
This is a Philadelphia BIP from Secret Pants Sam on Instagram.
And do you guys remember, I did a little bit of Philadelphia news roundup recently, and we were talking about how Rita's, the Italian ice place, had come out with a beer, and we
were kind of pumped on that idea, but then it was a mango beer, and we're like, oh, that's
kind of odd.
Now, and we were saying that maybe there's the mango is delicious
but there's perhaps too many mango flavored things and it was an odd first choice but now uh
nashamony creek launches rita's lemon ale so now there is a alcoholic lemon ale from rita's looks
just like the mango one but it is lemon and that sounds more
like this sounds to me like line and kugel uh summer shandy and this sounds like something i
would drink i like say the say the name of it again the shame the name of the distillery or
the brewery is nishamany like nishamany creek nishiny Creek. I like that. Yep.
And what's the Kugel Shandy?
Oh, Leinenkugel.
Leinenkugel.
That's a Midwest thing.
Those are great, but you only would have one of them.
Then they get a little sweet to the taste.
No, I like that.
Those are good though.
I also like a Stiegel Radler, if we're talking about a grapefruit.
Yeah, I don't like the Radlers,
but didn't we have a Radler somewhere recently?
Radlers, Jeff was drinking Radlers in Bermuda
and we were talking about it.
I, somebody just tagged us,
somebody on social media tagged us in a thing of a drink
where they combined a Radler with a different,
like light beer and it was good.
Cause I do think Radlers can tend to be too juicy,
but I like that Stiegel one.
And it's,
it's a daytime thing when you're not looking to.
And then also at Bigfoot lodge,
you know,
they do a thing where you,
you put a little shot of tequila in there.
You kick it back up.
Yeah.
Yes.
Good,
good,
good.
Sort of a Paloma approach.
The Paloma approach.
Any other bips? Or wrap it up. Oh, good, good, good. Sort of a Paloma approach. The Paloma approach. Any other bips?
We'll wrap it up.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Well, that's it for Booze News, folks.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh!
Jeff, you've done it again!
Um.
Well.
Pfft.
Should we?
You know where that leaves us.
Yeah, should we? Shall we? we it's time for i'm excited booze dude
no the drink of the day of course of course wait real quick this is just right i don't know what
it was but the way i heard you guys in my ears reminded me of.
Do you guys you have AirPods?
Yes.
No.
Well, I've wired.
No, I just have this.
The wired ones.
Okay.
Well, I use AirPods and they've got like fancy noise cancellation and stuff like this, but
they also have a setting.
Sometimes I'll listen to our podcast laughing my ass off at how funny we are.
And there's the
setting that i forget it's some kind of special stereo setting where it keeps the person's voice
in one spot so let's say i'm walking up hillhurst and uh jeff is on my left and mike is on my right
if i turn to my right then it like it's like mike's in front of me and jeff oh yeah it's like
i'm standing in the studio kind of that's great so it's like 360 like
head proximity that's crazy as i'm turning and stuff if we go if i go hiking in griffith and
i'm going on a windy trail it's like you guys are wrapping all around my head wow which is my
i don't think i'd like that i'd like to wrap you on the head someday with a wrench. I mean, I can't really think of the purpose of it, right?
Like, it's not helpful for music,
and there's no reason for podcasters to be wrapping around your head.
Sometimes I think with, maybe it's for live concert stuff.
No, that would be stupid, too.
Ooh, that could be kind of cool.
I think sometimes Apple puts things out just to be like,
hey, look what we got.
Yeah, we have the technology.
Is this worth anything to you guys?
Will it get mentioned on the sloppy boys?
Yeah.
Tim Cook's laughing his way to the bank right now.
Speaking of Tim's, Tim Kalpakis has to get to the drink of the day.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Okay, I'm very excited.
This is a very fun one. Very buzzy, buzzy drink.
Johnny's dream you've had?
No.
No.
You've heard?
I've heard.
Oh, who hasn't, Tim?
If you're on Twitter, if you're on Elon's Twitter,
you've heard about this.
This was a viral tweet on the Twittersphere this very summer.
And maybe you saw this, maybe you didn't,
but it kind of blew up amongst the cocktail world online.
There was a tweet recently from a bartender named Daniel Ralston,
and he said,
had a truly bizarre encounter at the bar tonight.
An old guy gave me a business card.
It had no information on it except a drink recipe, his drink recipe.
He just said, make this if you can.
I did.
And then the next tweet in the thread, Daniel says, I will probably carry this around for the rest of my life.
And there's a picture of his fingers holding the business card that he got and it's so funny it's a full color photo
yeah yeah it's a full color it's not like some old old timey business card it's a it's a color
glossy and um and it looks like a clip art picture but i'm sure he took a picture of this drink
that's like in a martini glass and it's like an orange drink and it's called johnny's dream and then it lists
all the uh the ingredients and it doesn't say we don't know was this old guy johnny uh i would
assume so i looked around i found an old there's an old black and white movie called johnny's dream
and then i found some old like standard song called johnny's dream uh but i like to think that he's johnny and his dream is to be able to walk
into bars and have his cocktail made for him look at that i'm looking at it right now that's great
i did see a bunch of people online saying that these sorts of things are common cheat sheets
for bartenders but then i saw a bunch of people saying,
no,
I've worked in a bar for years and I've never seen this sort of thing.
Like,
like this card would be a,
like a little Rolodex cat or like,
I've seen like index cards of recipes.
Yeah.
That kind of thing.
Yeah.
I mean,
I've definitely ordered a drink.
I don't really ever go to a bar and order an off menu item.
But if the very few times I'd be like, I'm doing this thing for a podcast.
Would you mind making it?
People just like Google it and make the IBA recipe or the liquor.com recipe.
But I could imagine if these business cards, if he didn't have this made, it's possible that this was like a deck of cards.
And he worked at a bar and he just
kept this one because he liked johnny's dream the most but when we get into this recipe oh but also
if he's handing them out oh he needs many of them then he must have a ton of these he's probably
committed to memory because this bartender got to keep this card so maybe his dream maybe he's
trying to get this drink to catch on he's ordering it for himself but if you keep the card he's
thinking this will be my legacy um because it's hard to get a drink to catch on he's ordering it for himself but if you keep the card he's thinking this will be my legacy um because it's hard to get a drink to catch on
and like it's weird some of the drinks on the iba cocktail list haven't caught on we don't see them
anywhere and then there's some mondo popular drinks that never really i don't know well not
every drink can be a calpe cordial you know exactly i'll still go to bars and be like
yeah russian root and they're like what i'm like
this has been around for years
two years no it's been around for since and they say it got invented they say sir sir we're trying
to do something nice here they're friends of eva anderson i said you yeah you've been hanging out
with eva anderson too much she beat you to that bar wait mike when did you you invented the the russian route at a kentucky
derby party in what 2012 something like that let's say yeah let's say 2012 who knows there's ways to
find these things out nah um i could check my instagram well now that i'm looking at the
ingredients list that i'm about to read off here, I've changed my mind.
And this is definitely not an official bar thing because there's a little bit of quirk to these ingredients here.
Honestly, sounds like a good drink, good ingredients.
But listen here.
Two parts silver tequila.
So far, so good.
One part.
One part Aperol.
Half ounce lime juice. Two parts tequila. One part Aperol, half ounce lime juice.
Two parts tequila, one part Aperol, half ounce lime juice.
So the shift from parts to ounce makes me think that this is a shoddily made recipe.
Because when you say parts, when it's just in relation to the other ingredients, but now when you're saying half ounce, you're like, you don't know what part we chose.
You know?
Right.
And then now four to five drops of orange bitters,
a squeeze of orange juice,
shake well and serve up with a twist of orange.
And the picture on here, it's appetizing.
It has a little bit of a tequila sunrise gradient to
it with the aperol acting as the grenadine sort of um do you guys have orange bitters
i guess i do hell yeah um do you guys have orange juice or are you gonna squeeze a wedge
squeezing wedge i got some simply let use it. I'm squeezing the wedge.
So we're going to make this drink,
and we're going to see if we think Johnny's dream should live on.
Yeah.
Is it Johnny's dream or Jeffy's nightmare?
I got a feeling this is going to be pretty good just based on what I'm seeing in it.
Yeah.
So wait, Tim, you said let's pontificate a a little bit this looks a little bit like a tequila sunrise it looks that's what we're looking at i mean an orange drink orange juicy drink with tequila and then he said his
clever thing is kind of like aperol and i could you know there's there's like one tiki drink with campari the jungle bird but
aperol is sweeter i'm i'm guessing well what what parts i guess i'm gonna do ounces right
i think i'm gonna do two ounces of tequila one ounce aperol that'll be a decent portion of aperol
i do think this will be a good drink i think it'll i think i love aperol so
and i think it'll go well with orange. It's going to be good.
I was just looking up.
I posted a picture on my Instagram in Cinco de Mayo of 2012
that has the picture of the Russian root bottles,
but I don't know if I posted it on the day that it was made.
But 2012, I think, is the year.
Definitely the year.
I love it.
So what are you doing for the 11th anniversary?
Just trying to get the word out, I guess.
Going to a bar and ordering it and walking them through it.
Now we got to go out, we got to get root beer
because no one keeps root beer behind the bar anymore.
The work never ends.
Nope, it's going to be a long week for me.
Hanford's dream you know i i was gonna shit talk this uh uh four to five drops of orange bitters but i actually
liked the window four to five because don't you feel like when we're dashing there's such a weird
and we are dashing you have three dashing guys on the pod that's for sure but when you're dashing
bitters and it says like three dashes don't you feel like one of your dashes is huge the other is small and you're like
i don't know yes of course i bet it's just like they average it out it's like whatever yeah so
three of the four is four to five drops that's good i'm gonna try and do that actually good i'm
gonna i'm gonna do this to the letter me too that would be johnny's dream i'm gonna do this to the
letter i'm gonna make a prediction to all the Vegas odds makers, see if I can
make some money on this. My prediction is
this is going to be better on
the rocks, right? Because it's juicy
and stuff like that.
And then also, orange juice
is going to be a little flabby, perhaps.
Right, but it's only a squeeze
of orange juice is what's most interesting.
Yeah, true.
Oh, you get all the oranges from the Aperol, of course. I'm going to do a splash of orange juice is what's most interesting. Yeah, true. Oh, you get all the oranges
from the Aperol, of course. I'm going to do a
splash of orange juice.
Yeah, same here. I'm going to squeeze
the plastic jug. So you're doing two ounces
to one of Aperol.
All right, folks.
We're going to make these drinks and we'll be right back
after this.
Here's Johnny's dream.
We're right back here with you folks at the Sloppy Boys podcast.
Okay, so you weren't parodying Ed mcmahon you were doing jack nicholson and you were your parody of jack nicholson okay yep i see very cool here's jack
here's jackie boy here's jack nicholson does anyone want to say hi to Jack now that he's here? Say hi to him.
Okay, hi, Jack. No.
No, we don't.
Alright, Sips.
Wait, let's have looks first before
Sips. This is looking good over here.
Okay, Mike's looks exactly
the color of the
card.
I maybe juiced mine up a little bit
too much. Jeff's usually
pink and clear. Pink-orange. I maybe juiced mine up a little bit too much Jeff's usually good
pink and clear
pink orange
I think I put too much OJ
I did a lemon rind
instead of an orange rind
give a little something
oh okay
okay last looks for sips.
I'm doing the meme thing.
You know, the meme of that girl going,
Britney Broski drinking kombucha.
What's her name?
Broski.
Britney Broski.
Broski.
Okay. Now, Johnny, I would love to know if i made your dream right mine's mine's
i would call mine flabby the dreaded flabby when you make use orange but but now i'm thinking that
i i had a bottle of fresh squeezed orange juice and i used a plop instead of a squeeze of orange
juice i think if i would have just squeezed a wedge,
this would be less flabby.
I squeezed a wedge and yeah,
it doesn't feel flabby to me,
but it is very,
it's very tequila forward.
Yep.
I was,
I wouldn't mind it to be a little more at this point of the sipping,
a little more juicy.
Juicy. Yeah. i can't really i can't really tell if these ingredients are cooperating and becoming like i definitely am tasting tequila
and orange juice and my aperol when i think when i think bitter i'm like oh yeah it's over there
but it's it's the But the sum is equal.
Bitter, are you in here?
Oh, there you are.
Yep, over here.
Over here.
The whole is equal to the sum of its parts.
And they're all sort of separately in my mouth.
But I certainly don't dislike it.
I like orange juice and I like tequila.
I'm getting a lot of bitters here.
I did five dashes because they looked like they were small dashes. Five dashes?
Well, you had the four dash option.
Drops or dashes?
I tried to do five drops, like eyedropper drops.
And, of course, the first drop was a big old dash,
so it threw off the whole thing.
I did five dashes.
How many drops were in that dash?
Dash rendar.
Now, let me ask you this, guys.
Have you ever had a business card?
Oh, Michael, I had a great one.
You did?
No, no, a fake one.
Oh, you did have a good one.
I went to a wedding, and on the table where you sit and eat,
good one i went to a wedding and on the table where you sit and eat it had your name and what you were having for uh what we what your protein was gonna be and so it would be like oh mike
hanford steak tim kalpakis fish and so i i have a little business card that just says jefferson
dutton chicken that's good.
And in the business world, people are like,
hi, I'm looking to hire someone brave.
And you go, well, no.
You got the wrong guy.
Can I grab my card back?
That's very funny.
I never had a business card, and I don't think I need one.
But it's like, I do have like a plastic bag or whatever in my
junk drawer of like business cards i've collected it's like i will never look at these yeah they're
more they're more interesting to look at and be like oh my god this person or this time i was
doing so i still have business cards of people that we did like general meetings with pre-birthday
boys and it's like yeah i got a couple of those right here actually there's relics but i think maybe our generation's business card was like when we first moved to la i was like i
gotta get a website i gotta get jeffersondunton.com oh and now it's myspace they were they were um
they were cool for a minute and then they were quickly supplanted by like just be on facebook
just be on my space.
Yeah.
But then, uh, they sort of like came back as far as plopping your reel on there.
So I am happy I've had it, but I've had jeffersondutton.com now for damn near 20 years.
Wow.
Wait, I forgot.
I had a website.
I had a timkelpakis.com.
Yeah.
You got sketches on there.
I had a Squarespace that I linked to it.
And you know
what's funny is it actually didn't do too bad i would check the numbers on squarespace once a
while it's like basically my twitter bio like where my twitter website link was that so like
back in like the pandemic when i was tweeting all day like a weirdo i it did i would i would look
and see it would get like 25 hits in a day.
That's a good amount of people checking out the team.
Good traffic.
I got a Linktree, I think.
Oh, yeah.
I got a Linktree, too.
Linktree.
Yeah, link it up.
Link it up.
Linktree, link it up.
The best, I mean, I'm sure a lot of people know about this.
I know you guys do.
But the best business card thing is Steve Martin,in when he was like you know a big huge stand-up and the jerk probably he would carry business cards with him
maybe he still does and if somebody came up to him like a fan and was like hey steve martin oh my god
this is great he wouldn't say anything he would just pull out a business card that said uh i have
met steve martin and yeah he would walk away. It said something like, I've met Steve Martin,
and I found him to be a great pleasure.
That's really funny.
I think Judd Apatow has one of those cards or something.
I know Doug Jones, the guy who, if you listen to The Blowout,
told us about the Surf 2 movie that we did a couple weeks ago.
He had one.
It was like in the 80s.
He was crossing the street.
Man, Doug Jones also has one of the first weezer fan club cards this guy's a real card connoisseur yeah what was uh uh steve martin what was the thing with gurn blanston that was that was
his hotel check-in name his fake hotel he also said it in his uh stand-up i think what wasn't
that yeah he did but i don but I don't remember why.
It was something about, like, you want to have a good, strong name.
For showbiz, I'm changing my name to Gern Blanston.
Blanston?
And then didn't Paul Rudd have that email for a while?
That's what it was, Paul Rudd's email.
Email him, folks.
Ask him if he still got it.
That would be so funny if he still kept that.
I know a little piece of trivia that might get bleeped.
I saw a movie on the TV at Jay's Bar the other day.
Oh, yeah.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You've seen?
Sure.
I have seen.
Yeah, and I've had, at the Dresden i have drank the uh for netting sarah
marshall yeah that's it somebody mentioned this to me at one point you know that movie was written
by uh jason siegel about like a real life breakup i heard and i don't know if it's true linda
cartellini used to check into hotels as sarah marshall, because it was about her, right?
That was the...
I think he's mentioned that it's partially based on a breakup.
Wow.
Interesting.
That's cool.
An on-set Freaks and Geeks romance.
Yes.
And then she went on to do a procedural ER,
the same way that Kristen Bell was on, like, a cop show in the movie.
Damn.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Our first week in LA
I thought that if you saw
a celebrity or you were almost you
had to go talk to them so that you could tell people back
home you talked to them we were at the cat and fiddle
and I saw Jason Segel I went up to him and was like
hey man love your stuff and truly
at that point I had not seen him in anything
I eventually watched Freaks
and Geeks and thought he was great in that but I just thought
you had to talk like I saw Ryan Cabrera and I talked to him. I just thought you had to talk.
Yeah, I remember that.
We saw Jacoby Shaddix from Papa Roach and we talked to him.
I saw Jason Schwartzman maybe two weeks into being in LA.
We were down in the Barney's Beanery area, I want to say. I don't know where we were. We
weren't anywhere close to home, so we had no business being wherever we were.
I had just seen him on like a talk show
and he was talking about the Flaming Lips,
who I adored.
And so I went up to him and I was like,
yeah, man, I love the Flaming Lips too.
And he's like, cool.
Nice to meet you, man.
I'm here to talk to my friends.
Is that what he said?
I'm here to talk to my friends?
He had some very polite, like, I'm going to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
He's a big part of the new Spider-Man movie.
What?
No spoilers, Mike.
Across the Spider-Verse.
There's a multiverse thing going on.
It's a multiverse thing going on.
Yes, Tim, you're right.
You must have seen it.
And he's, I mean, it's just in the cast list, Jeff.
It's not a...
The Schwartzman?
But he's really funny.
That made me laugh.
This guy's everywhere.
He's in I Think You Should Leave.
He's in Asteroid City.
Come on.
Yeah, I wonder if there's a Schwartzman renaissance.
Hey, I ain't complaining.
That guy's great.
I got a Jason Schwartzman anecdote and a Paul Rudd anecdote.
Want to hear them both?
Or you guys can choose one.
At the same time?
Schwartzman.
Yeah, we're on Schwarzman topic.
Okay, Schwarzman. I was a
production assistant at Gracie Films
and I was working reception.
He came in to audition for a role
and he was a very quirky dude
and he comes up to me.
He's kind of nervous for his audition. He's like,
Hey, can you hold these for me?
And I was like, yeah. And he hands me his wallet and phone oh wow that is very trusting and then
he goes in we trust him he goes into the auditions he comes out all sweaty and like
exhausted he's like oh thanks and i gave him his wallet and phone that's nuts i I saw him once at a Phoenix concert at the Hollywood Bowl.
Cool.
Just out in the walking around area.
I said, hey, Jason Schwartzman, I'm a big fan.
He said, oh, thanks.
Bam.
Is that the Phoenix show that Daft Punk showed up at?
Yeah.
They're both French.
It would make sense.
They're both French.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They had the coolest, that was the coolest stage setup I've ever seen.
They had lights on the floor where they were all standing, which you couldn't see from
the crowd.
But behind them was a huge mirror tilted at an angle.
Like toward the audience, like 45 degrees.
So you could see down on them.
See down on them.
And it was just like, since the light was showing up from the bottom, it was like their
silhouettes dancing around. It was very cool. And it was just like, since the light was showing up from the bottom, it was like their silhouettes dancing around.
It was very cool.
And it took me a second to realize what was going on.
I was like, how does this work?
What is that?
What the hell?
Stop the music.
Tell me now.
Two bands?
Two bands, one silhouette of the other?
I'm surprised that France doesn uh hold a bigger stake of the
pop culture scene because you know people talk a lot about how how significant england is
music movies isn't it pretty comedy tv shows like for a tiny little country i mean i know
it has a big population but like like England has exported so much.
For a country that's like the size of New York State
has exported so much pop culture.
And then you think France, also historically significant
in the same kind of ways.
It's like rare.
You're like, oh, here's this fancy French guy.
And oh, you know, this lady's from France.
But it's not like there's not like,
you're not going down the billboard charts seeing French artists the way you're seeing British artists.
Ah, interesting.
That's true.
Maybe they're just, well,
it's probably because they're speaking French and English is.
That's exactly it.
Oh, that's exactly it.
That would be such a clean answer.
And it's not because America is not really open.
Like other than like bts and
bad bunny america doesn't really open its arms to other languages non-english speaking but the rest
of the world does like like american punk bands can go toward japan and and japanese people go
it's crazy yeah i also wonder though and i'm speaking out of my ass, France is less capitalistic, correct?
Like, they're more sort of like they're hanging out.
I am.
Like Italy.
They don't seem as hell-bent on working the populace to the bone
and taxing them a bunch and not giving a social priority.
I mean, it's not like it's a socialist country, is it?
No.
But they have a president.
Does that help?
Yeah, that does help.
That sets a precedent.
Does a lot for me.
Ah.
Is the president Macron?
Macron.
Macaroon.
Tim, you were just saying, talking about country being small.
Listen to this.
And this was told to me by Emma from the Doughboy Show.
Boston, the city limits of Bostonoston if you take that city you can fit 12 of them on the island of manhattan really really does that blow your mind
manhattan's what like seven miles tall and like one mile wide yeah something like that but but
boston i guess just like the city proper, you can walk across in a day.
Well, okay.
For a few hours, I mean.
But doesn't Boston have one of those things, though, where it's like, well, technically Boston is only this big, but every other cluster calls itself Boston, even though like, ah, that's Worcester.
Oh, that's Alston.
I mean, but New York has that, too.
So if you're just going Boston proper versus Manhattan proper, shocking.
Couldn't believe it.
I still don't believe it.
Couldn't believe it.
Doesn't mean one's better than the other.
I don't want our Boston fans to up in arms, come down here and say,
ah, what are you talking about?
Those things always trip me out when I see maps where like Europe,
just how there's a different language and food in every every country and the country or like the side of state.
Actually, here was a Twittery thing that I've seen a few times.
It's fun.
Have you seen?
This is just a jokier thing.
And it's more about the culture than the size.
People drew on Los Angeles, the New York boroughs, like kind of like, you know like uh los feliz and silver lake are are uh
are like brooklyn oh yeah and like it's very apt yeah they did a good job where they swiped like
the middle of the city is is manhattan but then they kind of when you look at it you're like oh
yeah i guess that is kind of like that's the queen. The valley is like Staten Island. Yeah.
Rather interesting indeed.
Rather interesting.
It's something to think about for sure.
I'm going to tell my Paul Rudd anecdote,
whether you guys want to hear it or not.
Oh, good.
Yes, yes, yes.
Do it.
My first writing job I ever got in my life.
I'm 25 years old. I'm a production assistant sitting at Gracie Films.
I get a call from Paulul rust he says hey me
and neil campbell are writing for the mtv movie awards and we were just talking to scott ocherman
we told him about you we said you can come and you can be a staff writer on the mtv awards if
you come here right now it's like midday on a wednesday so i turn to my i go to my uh uh
supervisor at gracie films i'm like hey you know i'm 25 and i want to be a writer
and i'm only a production assistant well i just got a call if i can go i can get my first writing
job and work on the show and he's like yeah man you could my boss was a cool guy not my big boss
my immediate supervisor seth was a cool guy he's like yeah you could go you just got to do one
quick run can you take paul rudd to the airport? So I drove Paul Rudd to the airport,
and I was like,
I really like what Hanna-Barclay Summer.
He's like, oh, thanks.
I was like, how'd you beat those guys?
He's like, well, we, you know, in New York,
I went to the Stella Show.
I was like, oh, good.
And then I drop him at L.S.
Just promise me you'll never be in a movie about an ant.
And he was like, I can't make that promise.
I won't make that promise. I paul rudd at the airport i turn around a hightail up to the valley go to scott ackerman's old condo
and you know what happens when i walk in we're writing monologue jokes about paul rudd i just
had paul right in my car so i had the inside You know, we got to do really good jokes about what he's like as a passenger.
This guy.
You know Paul Rudd.
He's got his feet up on the dash.
He's playing with the locks and the windows.
Andy Samberg saying this at the Gibson Amphitheater and the audience is laughing their ass off.
He's putting his seat back.
He's taking his seat belt off.
We've all driven him.
He's talking about wet hot.
He's not going to be an Ant-Man. If you ask him.
If you ask him.
If you ask, he talks.
Jeff.
Yes?
This is an Ant-Man question for you.
Okay.
Is it very out of the blue that he became a Marvel guy?
Like so much in the Marvel universe?
No.
Or is Ant-Man more popular than I think?
Ant-Man's old.
Tim has leaned away from the microphone.
Tim is disengaged.
Guys, wave your hands when you're done talking about this.
Ant-Man is the same as Giant-Man,
and he was an OG Avenger like Hulk and Thor and stuff,
just not as famous.
Okay.
So that's like he's also an OG dude.
So why would they bring him in then?
Just because there's more interesting things to do?
He's an Avenger.
And they were like, oh, we'll get Paul Wright and we'll do a funny one.
So are there other Avengers that weren't put in movies?
Yes.
There's a bunch.
But now everybody was an Avenger at some point.
Yeah.
You, me, Tim, everybody.
Black Panther was an Avenger at one point.
Spider-Man was an Avenger at one point.
Right, right, right.
He still is.
I just want to see Wolverine and Deadpoolpool cut it up you know what i mean what is that coming out what is that
coming out jeff let me know i'm gonna do some wisecracks text me when you see that trailer and
send me the trailer all right i will please do i hope you do i'll send you any trailer you want
i absolutely hope i hope you do see you guys had me reaching for the goldfish.
But you know what?
Why don't we go to break?
Yes.
And then I'm going to do a little ow, ow.
What are you going to do different?
How are you going to?
Jeff eats across his Los Feliz apartment.
He eats across his desk?
What are you going to do different?
I am empty.
I got to do some more stuff.
I am going to do round two.
First of all, ice.
Oh, yeah.
But what next of all?
I'm going to do a little less OJ.
Okay.
Hmm.
I feel like I want to add something to it.
I'm going to do like one dash of bitters.
That's all I'm doing.
I'm going to go more bitters.
More bitter, more better.
Ooh, maybe triple sec.
Would that be good?
Sort of like a McCartney Marg.
I'm going to switch out the triple sec, or the Aperol for triple sec.
Ooh.
Okay, so you're making...
It's a different drink.
That's a margarita, though, right?
Is it?
Tim?
Oh, yeah, because lime and...
Yeah, yeah.
It's a bit of a Paul McCartney
margarita because it's got the
juice.
Maybe I'll do that.
I'm going to freestyle. I'm going to see what I can
come up with. Alright.
Folks, we'll see you right back here
after the ads. Good luck to
you all.
Hey folks, we're back with round two.
I just want to say one thing real quick.
It's definitely two ounces
tequila, one ounce
Aperol, because I nailed
both glasses right on the brim
rounds one and two.
Doing those measurements.
Did you change anything?
What did you guys do differently?
I did more Aperol, just a little bit in there,
and then four or five dashes of orange bitters and barely any orange juice.
Okay.
I'm trying to get into Johnny's head here.
I want to see what he sees in this drink.
Yeah, where is he drink where is he from?
who is he?
I did that letter of the law
and last time I put too much OJ
so this time I really imagined a squeeze of OJ
me too
I did everything except for
I swapped out Aperol with the Triple Sec
sweet
man that really is like the McCartney Margarita
just about right
it's going gonna be good
yeah yeah look he loves it even with the even with the uh the bitters oh i guess not bitters
but uh as far as having triple sec and uh but mccartney's was weird it was like the juice from
one lime the juice from one orange and wasn't it like very little ice? Like you shake till the ice is gone and you serve it with no ice?
Yeah, it was like one ice cube, shake till it's gone.
It had some really weird specifications.
This, I will say, it was more flavorful the other way.
The Aperol is more, it has more sweetness.
Yeah, you're missing the bitterness.
Okay, that's better.
Oh, that's better.
Yeah, the bitter is better.
More Aperol.
So, because mine is less flabby this time, more well-balanced, but I still wish I was tasting Aperol more.
I did an ounce and a half Aperol.
There you go.
That's what you do.
Oh, I got it dialed in, Johnny.
Johnny, your dream lives on.
Johnny's dream, Jeff's version.
Mine doesn't even taste like a margarita.
I guess it's down in there somewhere, but it's really not flavorful at all.
Taking out the Aperol, your drink is like off-white.
Ours are bright pink-orange.
You know what I wonder if I did...
It's hot in my apartment, and I put the ice cubes
in the shaker and left that on the counter
and went to the bathroom, and then came out
and shook it. I wonder if it watered it down
too quick.
That seems crazy.
I mean, it says shake well.
Oh, I shook...
Oh, not well.
I shook poorly. I shook poorly poorly unwell um all right final thoughts uh this is an order again for me i didn't like it at first and it found its groove
there's something with that when you try a drink that you've never had before. I think your tongue might have to say,
it gives it a second to say,
let me work my way around this.
Yeah, let me acclimate.
And it does.
And you do.
Hey, this is part of the strength of our podcast.
Round two is so valuable.
I take it for granted too often.
To be able to go back
and to have a second chance yeah it's pretty nice valuable
very valuable yeah um i'm a little torn on it because i'm thinking like like i like it i think
it tastes good but as far as an order again i'm like what's the scenario is it is it a brunch
drink is it like i really wouldn't want to drink anything this juicy if i i mean i should have
tried it on the rocks because maybe then that would have been the key to the whole thing but
oh i did rocks as well yeah i kind of don't think it's an order again because i can't picture myself
ordering again not to say it's a bad drink johnny i like you i like your dream but i think i would
rather have a margarita or an Aperol Spritz.
Yeah, I agree.
It's in a clumsy middle.
But I didn't say it's an order again for me, too.
But, Tim, hey, you got a well-articulated opinion over there.
I get it.
Thank you. To each a Pozone on this one.
A Pizza Hut Pozone?
Have you ever had a Pozone?
I've never had one.
Yeah, they're great.
I missed my chance.
Pizza Hut brought back their calzones,
but they don't call them Pizzones anymore.
Oh.
I've got a Pizza Hut Pizza.
They call them Pizza Hut Zones.
I have a Pizza Hut Pizza in my freezer.
I took all the slices,
piled them up in a little Gladware container.
Every once in a while,
I take out a pizza,
nuke it,
one slice.
Damn.
Pizza Hut's good.
Yeah, it's great.
I'm trying to think of like,
what's the
last calzone i had was in ithaca what was the calzone place rogan's deepy dough deepy dough
oh my god yeah they're like hot pockets they're so good yeah the buffer zone i saw the guys making
that buffalo chicken one yeah you know those you those uh scrapers, like the scraped flour on a counter?
It kind of looks like a square.
It's a square piece of stainless steel with a handle on it.
I saw the guy making the buffalo chicken one, Calzone, one time,
and he had one of those scrapers, and then it was just a chicken patty,
the kind you would have had in school.
Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.
He diced it up with the scraper and put it in the thing,
and I was like, that's how you do it. Also, hey, remember that? Chicken patty day in school chop chop chop he diced it up with the scraper and put it in the thing and i was like that's how you do it also hey remember that chicken patty day in school it's
a hamburger bun a chicken patty and like if you're an adult there would have been like
mayo and a pickle or lettuce tomato onion no no i want to say i just ate it dry no no swirl
of ketchup swirl of ketchup ketchup those Those were good, though, man.
I remember everybody got psyched about Nuggets Day,
and then occasionally some people would like,
you get, back in my day, five lunch tickets a week.
And then sometimes people would be like,
I'm going to skip lunch today so I can get double nuggets on Thursday, man.
Wow, they left it up to the kids to monitor their tickets?
To triage it out, yeah.
Wow.
I remember how in seventh grade, junior high,
a lot of people loved Pizza Day on Friday.
Lots of people loved Taco Tuesday.
Nacho Boat was a hit, was like nachos with cheese.
But my friend Nate Robbins was the only guy in the school
who loved, uh,
looked forward to turkey cubes and,
uh,
it would be turkey cubes,
brown gravy and like,
or turkey gravy and like a scoop of like mashed potatoes that were kind of
fakey.
And it was so funny because that's a,
uh,
a meal that we didn't have very much,
maybe like a couple times a year.
And it was just because he was
the only person on the record loving it people would be like hey nate tomorrow's turkey cubes
well you know distance makes the heart grow fonder you know turkey cubes that's good that
reminds me of like uh remember we were getting moved to la and we were wistful for like the idea of a gobbler sandwich.
Oh, yeah.
Like a turkey cranberry stuffing on a sub.
Brioche bun.
Yeah.
Ooh, that sounds good.
Let me ask you guys this who are out there.
This is nobody will care about this, but is El Patio burrito still around?
No, it's gone.
Or did it move or anything?
Yeah, I think it was gone when I last checked.
I think it closed down when you left.
Oof.
I took the whole group away.
Yeah, they had that chorizo mode I was talking about recently.
Ah.
I wanted to take a kayak out on that thing.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media
at The Sloppy Boys
where we release
these recipes ahead of time.
Sorry.
Where we release
these recipes ahead of time.
That's a tough one.
Johnny's dream
getting on top of me.
And if you can't get enough boys,
go to patreon.com
slash the sloppy boys.
Type in your info,
your credit card info,
and gain access
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that we actually care about.
Yeah. That we put our
heart into it. Check out the
sloppyboys.com. We got all our t-shirts
and merch up there. And
Chicago, if you're in
Chicago, July
28th and 29th, come see me do
a headlining set of stand-up.
I'm doing 45 minutes to an hour.
Wow.
A stand-up at the Lincoln Lodge on the 28th and 29th of July.
Come on out for that.
Now, Mike, you've been promoting that for a while here on the show,
and you always say 45 minutes to an hour.
Do you have your 46th minute figured out yet?
I think I say that because I forget what I'm, what I,
they told me I had to do.
It's gonna be a long set. That's needless to say.
I think you know how many jokes you do, and I think
you're wondering how long the Chicago crowd
is gonna laugh for, so you can't really say
the length. This could be a
20 minute show.
It's funnier than George went.
Bye, folks.
Bye.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye. Give it up for your boys