The Sloppy Boys - 145. Strawberry Daiquiri

Episode Date: July 28, 2023

The guys cover the coldest drink they can fathom-- at the behest of the mysterious Freezester!STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRI RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Rum1oz/30ml Simple Syrup.75oz/22ml Lime Juice4-5 Large Strawberries1 cup IceCombine ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into hurricane glass or wine glass. Garnish with edible orchid (optional).Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do your head DUTTS! Hey everyone, DUTTS here. My debut album as a solo artist, Beyond Cool, is live on all platforms. It's a journey into the thrilling highs and crushing lows of the nightlife, where passion rules supreme. Ten not-safe-for-work tracks from pop music's most captivating auteur. Dutz. An intimate portrait. An ambitious opus.

A daring expose. Beyond Cool. The debut album from Dutz. Now streaming. Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Ooh, yeah. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up?

And we are your hosts, the band, the Sloppy Boys. Shooting into the stratosphere. I got a good feeling, Jeff. The new Dutz album is out and I'm feeling good. Ooh, thanks, Mike. Dutz. It's hot. This is, we're peak summer.

Dutz album dropped today. It's hot. Jeff's wearing a tank top. It's hot and it's summer and it's heating up. One of the warmer seasons of the year, mind you. He's currently Tank Man. Tank Man? Oh, what's that from?

Candy Dick? Yeah, that's from like a MTV Movie Awards opening where it was like the batman the christian bale batman he's flying from rooftops is that one yeah yeah yeah he's in a tank he's flying is he tank man so wait a second why uh oh that's right that's funny but why am i thinking the tank man is like a lemon party type internet prank was there a guy isn't there a guy that like, chops himself in half? Oh, Tim, that's sick internet shit. Don't bring that into the pod. I think that there's like a rotten.com picture of a guy

who got all like, chopped in half and he's named Tank Man or a guy who sucks his God. Let's try to go away from that idea and get more towards Jeff's new album. Okay, proper talk, Jeff. Congrats on your new album. Hey, thanks, buddy. It's live, folks. Check it out on Spotify

or wherever you stream your tunes. It's wild. This whole time I thought you were talking about Dutz. I got the album. I was like, he doesn't have jack shit. He's bluffing. He's bluffing. I thought I would play on the MP3s and it would be empty.

Silence. A full album of nothing. Sorry, I couldn't do it. I couldn't get it done. It was true and real the whole time. Wow. It was all too real. Yeah, all too real.

And you know what else is going to become real all too soon? Yes. Sonic Ranch from the Sloppy Boys. Oh, fucking album. So your album came out today, but then next week we put out an album produced by Money Mark and it was it was recorded in Texas. And furthermore, are you saying that there's a listening party in Brooklyn on August 3rd? That's right. The night before it drops at Littlefield in Brooklyn. Damn! Look, we had a great time in LA at El Cid. People came out

in droves. It was wonderful seeing everyone listening to the albums. Now we're doing it on the other coast. It's Coastal Elite gets to hear the album. That's what we're going for. And look, I know, you know, to all the Brooklyn people,

all the New York people who stopped me on the street, Oh, sloppy boys are so great. You gotta, you gotta take a picture with me. Come to little field. That's where it's happening. I wanted to ask you guys though,

per on a personal note, the two of you, how is it? Does it seem like almost too much sloppy boys coming out with so much content coming out? Like, and then it's not even, that's not even all of it.

We still have like more surprises coming this fall. Yeah. out with so much content coming out like and then it's not even that's not even all of it we still have like more surprises coming this fall yeah do you guys think that's cool it's cool for me but if i could be if i was the audience i'm like what's the other thing i know it's huge but what is it and look it is huge but i would be tearing my hair out trying to think of this yeah losing sleep tearing out hair i just wonder if people this stuff. Losing sleep, tearing out hair. I just wonder if people are like... Failing at my job, probably. Okay, I listen to this cocktail podcast, I laugh my ass off. I subscribe

to the Patreon. I hear extra bonus podcasts, I laugh. I see these guys... I spin my ass off. I go to the Hopscotch Music Festival in Raleigh, North Carolina in September to see the Sloppy Boys. There's other stuff. It's so ever present

in my life. It's getting to the point where Tim is pretty much my boy at this point. Yeah. I love Tim and I love his two co-hosts. Can I tell you something about one of his co-hosts? Me? Can I give you a little insight here? I'm going to spill the beans wide open.

The bean jar wide open. Yeah. Okay. I got day drunk today. Michael! You did? That's right. Now, could you tell,

the listener doesn't know this, but the three of us had a meeting before this. We had to deal with some stuff. I've drunk the whole time. Mike, it was imperceptible. Your sharpest attack. The only thing that I think is strange about you right now I've drunk the whole time. Mike, it was imperceptible. You're sharp as a tack. The only thing that I think is strange about you right now is it's kind of dark in your apartment and maybe the TV's on.

So the focus keeps shifting where sometimes you're silhouetted, other times you're lit. Other times you're silhouetted. Other times he's lit bright green. The sun is going down here. I don't have my overhead light on and and I have the, what is this, Mets White Sox game on. Nice. Two teams I don't care about, but I'm getting,

there's just enough light in here that I need it. But so I went to, speaking of sports, I went to the Liberty games, the New York Liberty basketball game today. I won. Is that WNBA? 1 p.m. It's WNBA. It was very fun.

They lost, unfortunately, but I had a great time. They're with podcast favorites, Neil, Fran, and a bevy of other New York funsters. What you drinking? Yeah. Crack and bruise?

Just beers. And I said to myself, Mike, you can handle this. You're an adult. You'll sober up by the time this all goes down. Yeah. My coworkers won't know the difference. No, my coworkers will appreciate it because here's a guy who's going out living the way we talk all the time.

No, we don't walk the walk here, Mike. I did. I walked the walk today. I can't believe my coworkers drunk. I am tired. Yeah. Jeez. I'm. I walked and walked today. I can't believe my co-worker's drunk. I am tired. Yeah. Ooh. Jeez.

I'm not even drunk anymore. I'm just tired. That's what the day drinking will do. You really can't have a night. And I was going to say that the day drinking is what was going on with Mike. If you're wondering what's been going on with me, can you tell I'm fresh back from Idaho? Do I have that? Yeah, you look tan.

You clearly just came back from Idaho. Everyone goes, I'm great on that boat. Oh, thank you. But it was a lot of – it was with high school friends and we had a blast. I'm on a boat. I'm eating ribeyes. I'm drinking rainier beer. One of my – my friend Sean gave us a little presentation on rum and we did a rum tasting. Oh, that's

cool. Tristan brought us to the place, one of the best ribeye steaks I ever had. Were you ribeyes on the boat? No, no. I was cooking a big tomahawk ribeye at our house, Airbnb. Did the rum cut through the ribeye the same way or was it very different? I was waiting to see if

like a martini, it would cut through the ribeye, but it just kind of. It feels like. Piled up on top of the ribeye and infiltrated it. I feel like rum just sort of slaps around the steak. And whereas, you know, we all know the martini right through it. It's just like a beat down down there. Probably the rum comes sailing down the the the

esophagus and then as it hits the as it hits the ribeye boom yeah it bounces back up and out my mouth it all bends out i'm throwing up here um that did happen but also what i was gonna say it was a lot it was being out on a trip like that where it was like, hey, we're at the beach during the day. We're stand-up paddle boarding or we have a pontoon boat. There was a lot of morning drinking beers in the morning. Probably some morning wood, too. And there's simply – it's – you really have – it cuts your day. Wait, what did you say?

Probably some morning wood, too. Stop. Oh, my God. That's not proper talk. That's nasty. That's not proper talk. That's nasty. That's not proper talk at all. Yeah, Jeff, that's not proper talk at all. At all.

Sorry, Tim, go ahead. You're on a boat with a steak. You're out there paddle boarding with a brewski. But did you see a shark? I did see a shark and it bit my dick off. Oh, my God. In Idaho? I meant like a lawyer who wins every dick off. Oh, my God. In Idaho? I meant like a lawyer who wins every case, you know, a really aggressive lawyer.

Oh, no, Tim, don't say those things. Mike, you have a new color flashing. Did you change the channel or is that the Mets or is that the White Sox? I think it's on a commercial now. This will all change once I turn the light on and turn the TV off, it'll be fine. I'd love to have half-drunk co-hosts half-paying attention because there's a game on in the background. What's going on here, Mike?

I'm barely watching this game. It's the Mets versus the White Sox. You're being kind of loud to those teams. You've already watched the Liberty game today, and now you're watching the White Sox and the Mets. You have an obsession with professional sports, and it's all twisted up with your alcoholism. Here's the problem with you two, and I have never said this on the pod,

but the problem with you two is you don't give me any space to express myself. Right. No, that's true. That's true. We'll cop to that. He's right. Look, I can't wait until we get to the make the drink section of the show where I can get away and turn the lights on.

But I'm tethered to this thing. You guys keep me so chained. Yeah. The podcast. Well, before we get to the drink of the day, though, Mike, you know how we do it. I know. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Bip, bip, booze news, hit it.

I think it would be kind of fun to take a life on vacation. It's always better on holiday. I think it would be sort of fun to take a life on vacation. So much better on holiday. That's why we go on work when we need the money. I bet I can still get paid while I'm on my phone vacation. Yeah, money's spent. I need the money.

But my work days are done. Lifelong Holiday Machine was sent to us by Drew Pauly. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to the sloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Nice, Drew. Wow, what was that pulling from? That was our song, Lifelong Vacation and then some gecks. And then I want to say Franz Ferdinand.

Holiday? It's a triple mashup. It sounds like a Trent Reznor nightmare. It's so cool hearing Mike Hanford's isolated vocal. Yeah, how'd they do that? Did they run it through a machine? AI?

That vocal is awful. Michael, don't talk like that about my friend Mike. Yeah, well, right now, you're his only friend. Yeah. Because even Mike doesn't. He's not friends with him. Yeah. Anyway, Tim, you had some booze news you want to talk friend. Yeah. Because even Mike doesn't. He's not friends with him. Yeah. Anyway, Tim, you had some booze news you want to talk about?

Yeah. This was nice. You know when we've been talking about something, hearing whispers saying, hmm, I read an article about this, blah, blah, blah, blah, but then it finally pops up in the New York Times and you're like, okay, that's official. This is real.

Big article. It just got real. Lots of slot pads. This was in the New York Times and you're like, okay, that's official. This is real. Big article. Lots of slot heads. This was in the New York Times. It said the martini has lost its mind. And it was a big fat article talking about whether it's the hip bars in New York and across the world or on TikTok. They've been seeing oyster martinis, caprese martinis, squid ink, radish water, MSG, chicken bouillon, seaweed, pepperoncini, pickle, olive oil,

all the different martinis that are going on and saying, this is kooky. And it kind of ends on the conversation of the debate what what defines a martini you know because if you can swap out almost mike you went and had that green mango martini and it was a oh yeah yeah yeah it was a fucking tequila drink yeah that was there was nothing martini-ish about that other than the the look really or the glass um so what was interesting to me, it was saying like, hey, a lot of these drinks are great, but if you swapped out all the ingredients, what makes a martini? It ends on a quote. One guy says juice.

Like if you're adding juice to it, then it ceases to be a martini. But I mean, I also think – Oh, it ceases. Okay. Oh, I see. Yeah. That's crossing the line into a different type of drink. Well, olive juice.

Oh, olive brine. It's not juice. I think we're talking like fruit juice. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But it's weird though because I don't know. I think that – for me, I think I would say just it's stupid.

I don't call them martinis, but maybe it's just anything in a martini glass. Right. Doesn't that feel like vodka? That could be. I think – oh, no. You a martini glass. Right. Doesn't that feel like vodka? That could be. I think, oh no, you're right. Cause gin. Yeah. The problem is that gin is more popular than vodka as a martini, right?

Or rivals it. So that kicked down the door. That kicked down the door to like, it's anything now? I think that vodka is more popular with dirty martinis. And a lot of these, the pickle one we did was vodka. It feels like a lot of these noobs are using vodka. But I even remember like 10 years ago, you'd go to a restaurant and they would have a martini menu and those were all like fruit ones. You know, like here's a blue one and here's a red one.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was appletini era. That's the problem too is that adding teeny as a suffix is too attractive. People can't resist it. Yeah. Mar-teeny.

Yeah, Mar, Mar-a-Lago, teeny. Is that what Trump's drinking down there in Florida? Ugh. Ugh. Makes me sick. If he's a gin martini guy, I'm done with that drink. I don't buy that for a second. You guzzled my mic.

I'd stop. Look, I'm no Trump fan, but I will say I like him as a president. You like his politics. Yeah, I like his politics, and I like all of his kind of when he hosted The Apprentice, of course.

I liked when he was in Home Alone 2. And I liked when he had all those failed businesses where – and he would rip off architects and stuff like that. I like his fashion sense and that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. How he carries himself, how he stands, how he walks. Sure.

Oh, God. Have we gotten – has this whole podcast gotten political? Oh, shit. Yeah. This feels like it's kind of like the new Jon Stewart show. This is sort of a choppo. Have we fully gone? Red state, blue state? Yeah. Wow. Well, the nation is divided, honestly, at this

point. Politically, yeah. Is that it for Moose News? No, I meant that it's divided into, you know, states, counties. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. I mean, like I meant that it's divided into, you know, states, counties. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean, like political boundaries. It's divided into 50 fun shapes. I have some booze news.

Hell yeah. Oh. I was at a show a couple weeks ago, a show, a stand-up show I was doing, and I did my set, of course, played to laughter and applause, and at the end, I go, I'm standing by the bar, and this guy next to me taps me on the shoulder

and he says, what is up? I said, oh, Sloppy Boy's fan. This guy's name, his name is D, just the letter D. And he actually, he tagged us all. Dee Snider? He posted about it on Instagram. Dee's nuts. Yeah, yeah.

Damn. Sorry. No, I'm sorry. So I'm talking to him for a second, and he's like, hey, let me bring my fiance over. Lane. Her name is Lane. She comes over and I say hello. And he said, I got to tell you this story. This weekend, we went on a bramble ramble. I said, oh, that's great. He said, we went on a bramble ramble up a mountain like we did a big hike. And I said, that's great. And he said, but a lot of work for a ramble. That's a lot of that's a big, big ramble. And Lane, his his now fiancee said she thought she was just going up like they were going to do this bramble ramble and then take pictures and tag us. But what D did, he pulls out a ring and he proposes up there. Oh, God, he's a romantic.

So we got a bramble ramble turned into a romantic proposal. I love it. And I think, I think that's the first proposal we've had, or the first fiancéing we've had. Yeah. I didn't realize that D was such a lover boy. My God.

D, I feel like I just met this guy and I'm learning so much about him. No, the D, he... He's a fool in love. He's in love with his woman. He's quite amorous for Lane, I'll tell you that. Yep, yep, yep, yep. So I wish them both happy trails.

And Lane and D, if you're out there, we love you. Congrats. Congratulations. Dan really raising the bar for a ramble. Yeah, who else is doing exciting things on a ramble? Yeah, your move, Dan Padley. I saw Padley. I saw Padley recently, too.

He came to a different show I was doing. Love to see him. He and his dad. Did he propose to Lane? He proposed to me. I said, Padley, let's take this a little slower. All right, well, if everybody has booze news, I'm going to say a little something. You know how we always bring up that Billy Joel clip where he's saying, stop letting the audience.

Yeah. Billy Joel freaks out. Billy Joel freaks out. He's playing in like Germany. No, he's playing in Russia. Russia. Yeah. That's what you search on YouTube.

Well, I just got a message on Patreon, which you can subscribe to at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys and have direct access to Dutz. Dutz. This is from our Patron, Ian. can subscribe to at patreon.com slash the sloppy boys and have direct access to duds duds this is from our patron ian direct access he says hi sloppy boys perhaps others have mentioned this but regarding billy joel freaking out about lighting the audience the concert took place shortly after the fall of the ussr and when the audience was lit they were worried they'd be caught enjoying themselves on camera and later punished and he says he quotes from vice.com who said the soviet crowd raised by decades of iron curtain austerity stopped dancing and froze like deer in headlights when they were lit up petrified that the security guards would crack down on them then the lights would go out again

and they'd resume dancing lights off dancing, dancing. Lights on, frozen stiff. This went on and on like a game of red light, green light, one, two, three. With each flick of the lights, the perfectionist Joel saw his hard-earned connection fading away. Wow. How about it? I was aware that this clip came from a concert film that was all about like, oh shit, he's playing in the Soviet Union. I didn't realize that you weren't allowed to publicly have fun. That sucks. It's a good thing our shows are not in the old USSR because our audiences have so much fun out there. My God.

They're moving, they're grooving. I saw a guy doing the Watusi. Good. Did he feel good about it? The other – the video that i always watch after i watch that is when he crowd surfs so folks look up billy joel crowd surfing it'll be a nice well shot video it's where he's singing for the longest time acapella version with his band watch the whole video you'll see a guy sit into the crowd and crowd is that that the one where they don't, they don't bring them back to the stage? They don't bring them back. He keeps pointing.

And then the guy at the end, I hadn't seen the end, a guy like jumps out of the crowd and like Billy Joel, like scoots away from him, but then like shakes his hand. That's fun. It's all, it's,

it's very wild. Damn. It's a wild time. Was that it for booze news? He, he, he, he. All right. That's good. It's a wild time. Was that it for Booze News? Before we get to the drink of the day, I think it might help us to replay, to recap a message that came

through that sort of invaded the broadcast last week. Last minute. This is a message from an entity known only as the freezester freeze to me too sloppy boys it is i the freezester you'll have to excuse my violent interruption before I come to you in a time of great need. You see, for one such as I, the summer is no time to celebrate.

It's too hot, too many degrees for to freeze. I've been listening to your show, hoping to discover the drink that will help me beat the heat once and for all. But none of them have been cold enough. I need something colder than a dish of revenge. Could you find it in your warm heart to help me pretty freeze. Oh, so she says in your warm heart. It's maybe like how we would be like,

oh, the Grinch, could he find it in his cold heart? But to her, it's a flip. I like how the Freezster just comes on and says, I'm the Freezster. Like, we know about the Freezster throughout. Well, when you pick up the phone, you probably say, hey, this free stir. Like we know about the free stir throughout. Well, when you pick up the phone, you probably say, hey, this is Mike. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. But if I know it's people I've never met before, I say, this is Mike. I'm, you know, here are my credentials. Yeah. Here's my whole deal. One such as me. I can't believe that last year we were fully terrorized by the trickster. And we thought, that's

the end of it. No odd, strange maniacs are going to take over our show. And then you mean to tell me that the freezer is able to tap right into our broadcast and ask a favor from us. And ask a favor?

Is that last year the trickster? Yeah. The trickster was last year? Wow. Yeah, time flies. And here's the thing. When that message, when that transmission first came in, I thought, I don't know.

I don't think we should do it. But now, in LA, Mike, it's been so hot, I'm sort of on the free-ster side. Oh, man, it's hot out here, too. We need a free-ster. We need to save us all. We came up with a very cold drink. The coldest we could conceive.

If you have a thermometer, we should see what the temperature of this drink is. Probably sub-zero. Tim, what did we settle on? Well, we talked a lot. I mean, we talked about all kinds of stuff, didn't we? Yes, we certainly did. Yes, we did. But then we settled on a certain chunky cruncher, a certain fruited drink with a name.

Snickers bar. Totally satisfies. And this drink is entitled The Strawberry daiquiri you've had. I'm sure I've had, but I can't remember. Like I can't place when I've had one. Yeah, same. Like I feel like one of those has come across my purview. We said, what's a blended, icy blended drink?

And we looked at a few different ones. And we said, this is probably other than just the frozen marg this is probably the when because we've already done the pina colada on the pod which was our only frozen drink on the pod so we said we want to get out the blenders we want to get out the cubes and we want to do a little wow my hand right cubes dude i'll say this about the Dak. You know, it's a popular one. We picked it for its flickability. But I would say it's such a distant third.

Like, I've had tons of frozen pina coladas, tons of frozen margaritas, and probably a bunch of other frozen stuff, too. We talked about a painkiller, for example. A lot of painkillers out there. The Daiquiri is like, despite being famous, kind of like a dark horse. I've probably only had like one. You know, it's funny because I feel like it has waned in popularity. And I even feel like I sort of have an aversion to it now when someone says, hey, strawberry daiquiris. I'm like, yeah, whatever. But I think that I've definitely had, and oh, I've heard. But I used to have a virgin

drink that you've had, but you haven't heard. Wow. That would be awesome. What was this called? What if you went to a masquerade ball and you can't see what's happening? Oh, that's good. Some eyes wide shut shit. Yeah. Hatting, not hurting. But my vibe on the drink is i'd say that growing up it was it was very present to me i think of it as a a pool bar like a hotel slushy machine alongside

like you're saying next to the frozen pina coladas in the marks ubiquitousiquitous, yes. It's a big blender drink. It's a sugar. It's a red, pink sugar bomb, baby. I mean, I sort of think of it. In my mind, I think it's a sweet drink for moms. It's a sweet drink for teens. Big kids love it too. Well, I really did used to go to the Gateway Diner in Kingston, New York and order a virgin strawberry daiquiri because it was like a delicious milkshake. It was like sorbet drink.

What I think is weird is I feel like, I don't know if this is your experience, but I learned about this drink first, the big red blendy strawberry daiquiri. And then as an adult, I had an original daiquiri and I said, what the fuck? This is a whole other thing. This, the original daiquiri, rum, sugar, lime,

is a stiff little cocktail in a little cocktail glass. And it's dry and it's elegant and it's kind of fancy. And I said, what the what? And what's funny is I could have sworn we did the daiquiri, the original daiquiri on this show. Sworn. Hemingway. Hemingway style. We've done the Hemingway, which is the grapefruit maraschino take on it. We had a whole run where we were like – We did the grog on Doughboys on the double and that was rum sugar lime. We did

Planter's Punch on our show, which is rum sugar lime. We did Caipirinha. We've done a lot of that type of drink. We love. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, the original daiquiri. So we're going a little out of order here, which is fine. We needed to help the free stir, so we jumped straight to strawberry daiquiri. This is more about the free stir than us keeping up appearances on our podcast. Yeah, and someday we

will get to the original daiquiri and we'll talk about how it was invented in Cuba in the early 1900s and how the word daiquiri is a beach or it's a small village in Cuba and there's a few things named daiquiri around there. And it was invented by an American engineer named Jennings Cox,

they think. Could you imagine if you were like, oh, I went to daiquiri High School. What the fuck? That must have been the best time ever. Oh, no, it was just the name of the town. School sucks. They're actually really strict. Yeah, they make us do our homework twice.

That would fucking suck, honestly. Sorry, Jimmy, you were saying? Moi? I was saying that when you look at the strawberry daiquiri, it's a little bit unclear. We know that the first recorded recipe for the strawberry daiquiri was in 1952 in a little booklet that came with an electric blender. Wow. So it's a blender drink. Oh, that's cool.

It's possible that strawberries were in the mix way back in the day in Cuba. They do grow strawberries in Cuba and lots of fruits were getting mixed into daiquiris. So nobody knows who made the first one, but it is about the blender. 50s and 60s cocktails get very frozen and blended. Kind of like after the tiki boom, we're transitioning to fern bars, to cruise ships, to all the way to podcasts and freezers. And we looked on the IBA list and we did not see the strawberry daiquiri. But when we checked our trusty old liquor.com, we found a nice, clear, straightforward

strawberry daiquiri recipe that is icy and cold and that's what today needed to be for the freezers benefit here's the ingredients one and a half ounces of rum usually you know uh white rum silver rum but you could do whatever you want one ounce simple syrup three quarter ounce juice, freshly squeezed four to five large strawberries, one cup ice garnish, edible orchid optional. Wow. Okay. I didn't hear the steps. Combine the rum, simple syrup, lime juice, strawberries and ice in a blender and blend until smooth.

lime juice, strawberries, and ice in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into a hurricane-style glass or wine glass. Garnish with an optional edible orchid. An optional edible? It's like the incredible edible egg. Now, are you guys taking the option for the edible orchid? I didn't. I got some inedible stuff that I shouldn't be eating, but no,

no orchids for me. Tim, I declined the option. I declined the option as well, nor did I look for an edible orchid, nor am I really interested in eating a flower. I'll go to, you know, sometimes you go to like a restaurant and it's a nice restaurant and the salad has like- Tim, I'm interested in eating a flower, if you know what I mean. Mike, go ahead. Yeah, for sure. Enough of that crap. Enough. Oh, God. Well, no, I don't even want to say what I... Well, I was talking about you go to a nice restaurant and there's a salad and it's got flowers

in it and you're supposed to eat them. I'm never really too comfortable in eating those. Yeah, and they say it's edible and I'm like, yeah, I know. Not all that's edible is eatable. Sure. Or does it even taste good? I could eat my fucking shoe if I needed to. Yeah, I'll eat my fucking foot in your ass right now.

Now, here's my question. I've got a blender. The daiquiris, what I think I've had a daiquiri or a pina colada, it's been that really fine ice blend. You know what I mean? It's almost like a slushy. Yeah, you pay good money for that sort of. Yeah, yeah.

But I feel like I don't know if my blender is going to give me the blend. No, no, no, no. No, no, it's not. No, it's not. We're going to have a light on the alcohol drink. We're going to have icy chunkers. Hard to drink. Oh, yeah, this is a light on the alcohol drink.

That's going to be a problem. I also share your concern, Mike, for when you're making a blender drink, the ice chunks are just ice. It's just water in there. Whereas if you go up to like a slurpy machine type of thing, they put like mix and booze in there so the frozen particles

are made of drink. The thing, yes. Yes. They're made of drink. This thing, yes. They're made of drink. This is why slushies... Wait, no. What's 7-Eleven? Slurpees are better than slush puppies because slush puppies just have a squirt of flavor in blank slush.

We didn't know what we were doing back then. That was early on. The slush puppy, yes. The slush puppy is like the Grimace Piss taste. It's just the squirt of the good taste. The slurpees got it infused. Infused. I heard Slurpees are carbonated by nature.

Is that right? I think that's what it is. There's a Coca-Cola one. I'm not surprised because when you, you know, when you like drink a Slurpee, kind of by the end, like the top gets a little like all the flavors sucked out of it. Like there's a little bit that just looks like white, like you got all the coloring out of it. Yeah, the Slurpee. Oh, so then maybe my theory is wrong.

If it's leaving blank ice. I think your theory is right, Tim, but eventually there's got to be a tipping point where you're just getting – Yeah, that's true. There must be some remains. Is that what Malcolm Gladwell was talking about in the tipping point? I think so. Yeah, that's what it is. That book's one page long and it's like, when you finish your Slurpee.

You'll notice a little bit of white ice atop the Slurpee. Okay, brainiac. Thanks, Malcolm. You dork. Chapter two, the brain freeze. All right. Why don't we take a little break? And when we come back, we're going to have the coldest drink of all in hand.

Can you imagine? Wait, that's so perfect. Because I was just saying at the top of the show, it's hot, hot summer. Music's coming out. Events are happening. It's a good time to beat the heat. Yeah. Agreed.

All right, folks. We'll see you right back here after these messages. Toodaloo. Now we're back. Strawberry daiquiris in hand. Look at this. Look how red they are. Looking good.

Ooh, Mike. You got a nice blob. You got a nice frozen blob. Little lumper. It looks like it's like- Blobfish. Ketchup flavored frozen yogurt. Looks like a blobfish. I had a lot more left,

but I just put it in my, kept the blender in the fridge. Now, I'm pretty surprised that we all nailed the color. Like, we didn't really know if this was going to be a recipe with fresh strawberries or strawberry syrup. And then Liquor.com said fresh strawberries. We went for it.

I thought my strawberries were pretty ugly. They were like, you know, factory farm Albertson strawberries. And when I was pulling them out, I was like, these are the kind. They're all white in the middle. What the fuck? Then I blended it all up and I have this iconic red drink. Iconic. I think sometimes the strawberry knows what the maker needs and it says i don't know i know what the strawberry knows forever uh i know when i when i was blending this up i was like oh good it kind of looks like

something i've seen or had before so that's good mine had a frozen smoothie setting and it kind of did it's like like an oscillating thing where it gave it a couple pumps and it would chill out and then i go over really hard again and then it went fucking ape shit at the end and didn't stop and i was like it's too blended and so i think it's kind of watery it's. Mine's like really watery. It would ape shit. Mine's watery. I have a Vitamix that is, you know, meant for like you can put like a pumpkin in a Vitamix and it turns it into hot pumpkin soup.

That's like a chainsaw, yeah. Mine, this, I would liquefied this to liquid for sure. But it's better than ice chunks because I really expected we'd be drinking like shitty slush puppy ice chunks. Agreed. My thing, I hit the ice setting so it was really going. It just kind of

falls into this pattern where the ice isn't going down into the blades anymore so you're just watching nothing happening. You got to reach your hand in and push down hard on the ice. Wait a minute. He's joking, folks. We don't need the lawsuit. Now, I just want to make a joking, folks. We don't need the lawsuit. Now, I just want to make a prediction before sips.

I think this is going to be a very weak drink, but I think it's probably by design, right? You know, these are always weak. And it's like when you hear people like, oh, I had too many daiquiris. It's like, yeah, you have a lot of them because you don't taste anything. Yeah, yeah, that's true. First sips. Mmm. I fucking spilled on myself my goodness well i made a mess mine tastes like white strawberries that have they're not ripe and that are purchased at albertsons i should have gone to the farmer's market and made a farm farm to table. No. Mine really just tastes strawberry.

Like I maybe didn't put enough simple syrup in or enough lime juice or something. It's just like, yeah, this is what a strawberry tastes like. It's more smoothie than cocktail, huh? Yeah, okay. I'll give you that because, I mean, I think this is dynamite. The taste is great. It's cool. It's crisp.

It's berry. It's going to help the freezer for sure. I know. I feel like I got almost a brain freeze coming on. Yikes. Hey, want to hear something weird? Everyone in the world calls it a brain freeze. Yeah.

My parents are from Montreal, so maybe this has something to do with it. Can I guess? Yeah. Ice cream headache? That's another one. Yes yeah ice cream headache that that's another one yes ice cream headache i was gonna say nose cold really i've heard ice cream headache and nose cold but you'd think if my parents are from montreal they would just say being cold would be normal to them so they would say normal nose Montreal, they would just say being cold would be normal to them.

So they would say normal nose. Yeah, I have brain. Yeah. I have normal temperature brain. The brain freeze always messed me up as a kid because I'd get it, but it would hurt more my throat than I guess I do get it in the brain. But the first feeling was throat, and I was like, oh, this is a brain freeze. Like, you're doing it.

They tell you to rub your tongue in the roof of your mouth, but that's never helped me. Try it. I'm doing it now. Brain freeze is one of those things like wasabi where it sucks, and then all of a sudden, it's completely gone. Ooh, I like the wasabi, whatever that is. Me too. The burn. Hey, how come there's no wasabi cocktails, huh?

We like a little horseradish in a bloody. Why not wasabi? Tim, that's great. There's got to be. You've got to exploit the hole in the market. You've got to exploit the hole in the market. Yes. Yes, yes.

And bring your little friends along, too. No, I'm going to ditch you guys. Have fun in your two-piece band. I'm raking in wasabi money. We should do that. Tim, I got my fish oil. Not fish oil. I keep saying that. Yule sauce cocktail and wasabi money. We should do that. Tim, I got my fish oil. Not fish oil. I keep saying that.

Yule sauce cocktail and wasabi cocktail. Mike, you got to come up with a- I did. Grimace Piss last week. It was a failure, and I haven't learned from it. No, it has to be savory and Japanese. It has to be like a sushi-inspired one. Ooh, that's good.

I'll think of one. I never made my Sichuan chili oil martini either. Tim, get off your ass, man. Why don't you kick that to your friend Mike? Well, yeah. I think there was also a little dollop of chili oil on that green mango martini that he had, so I've been scooped.

I think I know exactly what would mix well with that. Maybe orange soda and gin. Slice. mix well with that. Maybe orange soda and gin with a slice. That could be good. I could ring your little neck for that.

Oh, come on. Oh, one of these days I'm going to get my mitts on you, Mike, and it's going to be ugly. Try to catch me. I would love to see you try to chase me down.

That could be a good, what if there's a Patreon episode where Mike strips down, butters up, and he runs around and I kind of chase him? Yeah, we both have headset mics on, and for the 40 minutes, 50 minutes, that's

what we do. Jeff, you're on the sidelines cheering us on. You're not mic'd up, though, so we can only get you through our mics if we're close enough. No mic for me. You better talk loud. Talk loud, Jeff. No, it's up to us to get by you a lot so you can have comments. There you go.

This is really exciting. I hope you run forever. You know what sort of – I just thought about why this drink – not this particular one I'm drinking right now, but in general, why this drink is odd to me. Daiquiri sounds tropical. Strawberry, I don't think of as a tropical fruit. Strawberry, you're going to some strawberry orchard here in California. Yeah. But a daiquiri should, you know, banana daiquiri, huh?

Yeah. Coconut, maybe. Pineapple? Strawberry, you're iniri, huh? Yeah. Coconut, maybe. Pineapple? Strawberry, you're in the heartland. Yeah. You wouldn't have a potato daiquiri. No, you'd have a potato mash potato, sure. Baked potato might be nice with a daiquiri.

Three mashed potatoes and three daiquiris for the three of us. I mentioned that I was just in Idaho, did I not? You did. You did. You did. Did you get any potatoes? When in your life have you ever said that a potato was noticeably bad? Well, probably never. I was eating mashed potatoes at this restaurant in Idaho.

They were local Idaho mashed potatoes. We all tasted them. We were like, these are bad. We were like, is this mashed cauliflower? Like a health thing? I was like, no, these are bad. And we were like, is this mashed cauliflower? Like a health thing? And I was like, no, these are Idaho potatoes. Then a couple of nights later, we're at a different – we're at a steakhouse. We ordered a twice-baked potato.

Potato comes out, remarkably bad. We all were like, this potato – Really? What the fuck? Will they ship out all the good ones? This is potato country. Maybe they're stuck with the bads. They send – they're so generous.

They send out the good potatoes to the rest of the world and they keep the runs. We'll eat the bad ones and our tourists will. Now, Mike, you're sort of a mashed potato wunderkind. I just made some beautiful mashed potatoes the other day. Now, do you mix a russet with a golden or a fingerling or – No, it's all the same, whatever it is. You pick one spud, you commit to it. Yeah.

I don't think anyone, I don't know if that's a thing. That would be interesting though. Oh, I saw online people like to mix and match. Really? Yeah. I have been going for the fingerlings lately and- You were consulted? Jeff explained this whole concept and you're like, do people do that?

And then he said, yes. And you went, really? You weren't impressed when it first came up, but then when it was confirmed. I need to confirm that this is actually happening. Your eyes, I saw your pupils dilate. That's very exciting. The dirty down under vegetables are very exciting to me. I agree. The big part of it, something exciting to me. I agree.

The big part of it, some of them made these potatoes. Yikes. They made these mashed potatoes so good that I made sour cream. A lot of people forget about that. You put a lot of sour cream in there. Also, if you haven't heard the show before, Mike likes to slice up a little Vlasic too. I'm talking pickles, folks. Pretty good.

And you know what I've been doing too lately? Putting a lot of garlic salt in it. Mike, try a little celery salt. Ooh, or onion salt. Onion powder? I got them both. Onion powder. I got both.

Mike, if you can make a potato-derived cocktail, that'd be good too. Maybe even just a garnish. A little fingerling perched atop the glass. Right, right. Wait a second. There is vodka made out of potatoes, and I have a potato gin. Think of your savory drinks, your Bloody Marys, your Bullshots.

Imagine, imagine just maybe an ounce of mashed potato also in there as a thickening agent. As a thickening agent. As a thickening agent. Thickening agent. I hate when my drinks are thin. Is that what people want? Yeah. I would say, this is a nice thick drink what we got going on here. What about ditching the liquid

and going more like, what about a bowl of mashed potatoes that's got two ounces of vodka in it so you're eating? Wow. And you're getting drunk. And infused. Infused. Interesting. This is like Soviet Russia porridge. It's the, you know,

people put the vodka bottle in a watermelon and eat that. They're eating their booze. Let's do that, Mike, when you're in town. Let's do that vodka and watermelon. Oh, I would do that. Hell, let's do that potato thing, too. Yeah, why not? I'm surprised we haven't done that vodka watermelon thing.

So you take an entire, what is it? We would do a fifth, not a handle, right? Depends on the size of the watermelon. Big one. Big one. Big. What about minuscule? Big and huge.

Let's get a square watermelon. How long does it take for that watermelon to go? I think overnight, right? You leave it overnight or something? Put it in the tub, leave it overnight. Now why do you put it in the tub? You get in the tub with you in your bath? In case there's spillage. No, not a full

tub. Just a receptacle. Just in case it spills. Alright, if we could get serious for a moment. Thank you. What would you change? A double the rum. Ooh. I might even, for me, I've got some unripe, terrible

strawberries, so I might do more simple syrup to try to make this taste good. I can't really blame the drink or the recipe, but I have to say some very bad produce I'm working with here. I got strawberries at Albertsons also in like

the clear little plastic thing, right? They had a few different options because there's like the organic section, there's a big container, but I feel like I should have even just like inspected my strawberries more. I could tell that these ones, even from the outside, you

look down at the little tip and it was white. You want a red strawberry, red to the core. You know what I'm going to do in this next round? I'm going to add a little bit of southern comfort because I'm trying to figure out something to do with that shit. I see it every day

on my cart and I say, what is your thing? A little SoCo. It's maddening to you. That's my SoCo. And I'm going to add a little bit of OJ to give it a different, a new flavor. Yeah, because I feel like if we're talking about martinis can be anything. This has just opened my eyes. Wow, I forgot I have a blender and I can put fruit and booze in it and it comes out good.

You could do honeydew in this. I'll tell you what I got because I saw it online. They said, hey, do yourself a favor. Get a peach. Fill a little peach in there also. Strawberries, half a peach. Damn, that's a good combo. I like that.

I was just going to say that I'm really wondering I might enjoy had I had strawberry syrup from say that I'm really wondering like I might enjoy had I had strawberry syrup from a bottle, it might be better than this unripe strawberry. I tried to do the fresh healthy thing, but maybe it would have just been better to have a bottle.

Do you have any Hiram Walker with a cartoon strawberry on it? Oh, I wish. You know what would be nice? Bag of frozen strawberries. Then you don't even need the cubes. Yes. That's a good idea. Ooh.

Hey, remember that? When we were working on the Birthday Boys show on IFC, when we were writing, our writer's assistant, Stu, used to make us goop every day. And he'd blend up all kinds of fruits and flaxseed and avocado. And we were healthy as hell. I think he put peanut butter or peanuts or something in there. It was almond butter. It was a thickening agent. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah. I think your head's got a thickening agent. All right, folks, we're going to take a little break. And when we come back, final thoughts. Yes. Final thoughts Yes And we're back How did you guys finish so quickly? I just added liquid to mine And just kept it

Because I had more stuff blended I don't want stuff laid out Damn Plus I focused, Jeff. I stayed focused. I feel like we can get into the fiasco of it. Let's just talk about it. It's a pain to get the blender out. It's a pain to cut

fruit. But it's fun to have the blender out and it's fun. I think it would be fun if you knew a good daiquiri recipe as far as the rum lime sugar and then you could always be experimenting with different fruits in your kitchen that sounds fun to me I just don't know that I've

dialed it in yeah I know what you mean though about the fiasco Jeff is like the other option is just pouring like a quick whiskey on the rocks and I'm done yeah sure well like a lot of the drinks we've done here you're

gathering like a lot of ingredients occasionally we get we get a drink that like calls for a lot of calls for a lot of ingredients or just like a lot of extra steps or messy steps and this is kind of one of them sure all right sips sippy oh my oJ made this flabby of course The SoCo I put an ounce and a half of SoCo in there just to get the taste It's nice to have like an alcoholic taste coming through

and not just, because before with the vodka or the rum rather, it was nothing I feel like I'm doing something here I doubled my rum Doubled? Yeah, because I wanted to come through There's nothing. I feel like I'm doing something here. I doubled my rum. Doubled? Yeah, because I wanted to come through. And then I therefore doubled my simple syrup to try to keep up with it.

Still, my strawberries are bad. I don't know what brand. I don't think they were Driscoll, but they were some other large brand. I'm simply tasting unripe berry. I'm simply tasting unripe berry I did a little more rum but only like two full ounces I'm loving it, I've loved all these

I don't think I needed to put orange juice in this The OJ and SoCo didn't lock it in The way you talk to me sometimes No, you treat me like I'm a fool. The SoCo was whatever, but I just wanted a more like a fruitier taste and orange juice went a different way. You know, pineapple juice would be good in this. Oh, Mike, you know, I realize orange juice and SoCo, that sounds familiar. Yeah, what is that?

Alabama Slamma. Alabama Slamma. Oh, of course. Not to mention a bunch of other weird stuff like slow gin and amaretto. That was one of the weird ones. Four weird tastes. Yeah, not necessary. I'm still happy with this drink.

Me too. By the way, I put the peach in there. Yeah. That's great. You put the peach in there. Yeah. That's great. You can put anything in there. Just make sure your strawberries are good. Please, people. Not small, hard, bitter, white, a cow package strawberries. Big, beautiful, plump, red,

Dutton strawberry. These were solid white, even from the outside. What you do, folks, go to the farmer's market, squeeze the berries. Maybe you have a meat cute.

Maybe you're a big city. Have a conversation with your grower. It's quite possible you'd be a big city magazine executive. You leave New York, you go to Vermont, you're at the farmer's market and there's be a big CD magazine executive. You leave New York. You go to Vermont. You're at the farmer's market, and there's a hunky guy selling strawberries. And you, oh, I'll squeeze these strawberries. Why don't you squeeze my nipples later on tonight?

Jesus. Oh, my lord. That seems a little forward. That's not a meet cute. That's not a meet cute. That's a dirty, nasty meet up. That's a nasty meet up. That's not a meat cute. That's a dirty, nasty meat up. That's a nasty man meat up. That's a meat nasty.

That's a sloppy voice movie, meat nasty. Well, let's wind into our final thoughts. What do you think? I say order again. Yeah. I'm ordering this again. I probably won't make it again for myself, though. Really?

I mean, I might if the occasion called for it. But like if someone came over and said, you know, I could really I could really go for a decorate. I'm not going to make this again. Really? I might. Well, I was also complaining about like, oh, you got to do all this stuff. And I you got me wanting to break out the blender. That's good.

Break out the blender. I do, I do some smoothies from time to time. So my blender isn't so far away. Cool. You know what's nice? My blender isn't so far away. For cocktails, if you have a magic bullet blender, you just, you blend up one drink right into the cup.

You drink right out of the blender cup. That's right. Leo drinks out of the blender in. It's a bit on time in Hollywood. Is whiskey sours? Yeah, it's whiskey sours, but he's got them in like a giant pitcher blender.

Yeah. He's probably doing ice in there too. That's so funny when he's laying in the pool, listening to his lines. I might watch that movie tonight. Might not. Hey, let me tell you about a movie watching

flub that happened to me recently. I wanted to watch the movie Lincoln. Remember Lincoln? Yeah. And I ended up buying it instead of renting it. It was only a dollar more, but I was looking at it and I couldn't tell which button was lit up.

Like which one meant which. So I ended up buying it. So now I own Lincoln. I still haven't finished it. You better watch it now, now, now. That's what got me thinking about it because one of you said that on the pod recently. I was like, yes, Lincoln. And it's a

fantastic performance. Do you remember that ad campaign? Are it's a fantastic performance. I'm thinking Lincoln. Do you remember that ad campaign? Are you thinking Lincoln? Yeah, I'm thinking Lincoln. Let's go to the theater right now. It's like a Taco Bell commercial or like the Jack in the Box late night munchie menu when it's like two guys are like, are you thinking Lincoln?

Okay, we've heard from me. What about you guys? Do you like this drink? No, I sort of piggybacked and I said, yeah, it's an order again. And I would make a bunch of these. Is it bad to have a bunch of fruit in one night? I don't think so. For like sugar's sake or anything? Could I just eat a whole thing of strawberries?

Sure. Are you still going to the gym, by the way? Yeah, man. I can't tell. No, I can. I can. Yes thing of strawberries. Sure. Are you still going to the gym, by the way? Yeah, man. I can't tell. No, I can. I can. Yes, of course. Of course.

Tim, your thoughts? Submit them, please. You know, it's an odd one for me because what have I done here? I would say order again in order to have a good one. These were bad. I shouldn't buy white strawberries. And my whole thing about going into the farmer's market having a meat

nasty. That is funny. This is an interesting situation. Ah, your tits up my ass. That's meat nasty. What? Just relax, buddy. Let me just relax. She had a strawberry

and now her tits up his ass. I know she did. I know, but I don't need to hear about it every 10 seconds. Every 10 seconds. Or once in an hour, yeah. Well, no, first you and now Jeff brings it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is an interesting drink because for Tim, because he's had this before, he likes it.

But on this time, he didn't. So he would not order again for this one, but he would order again a good one. That's interesting. I would go back to the diner of my youth and order one that was probably made from mix. That's kind of how I felt about the Piccolini. I was like, I bet

you there's a good drink in here somewhere, but I didn't crack it today. I didn't love the Piccolini. The more I think about it, I think you there's a good drink in here somewhere, but I didn't crack it today. I didn't love the pickle tea. The more I think about it, I think Fran brought one up today. Oh, sloppy boys. I love this frigging frozen drink. It really is the bees freeze. as the bees freeze.

Yes, the people of Freezalvania, where I rule supreme as Ice President, are indebted to you. We've erected a great statue in your honor and grant you safe passage through our lands. Until our paths cross again,

remember, with great power comes great responsibility and may the fourth be with you wow holy smokes wow so we can pass through the freezelvania unscathed mike easily wow that's i didn't know that that's something we wanted to do Freezelvania lands easily. Wow. I didn't know that's something we wanted to do. That opens up some touring possibilities for us. I had no idea a whole land was at stake. Also, May the 4th just passed

so we have to get that kind of a while until that's relevant. Yeah, we learned more about the Freezer here on her outgoing message than the initial message. A lot to parse. Yeah. She's the queen of the land, or she's the president?

Ice president. Oh, so she might be the... Now, is that vice president and there's a president above her? Well, it seems like she rules the roost. Yeah. If it's even a woman. It seems like she rules the roost. Yeah.

If it's even a woman. But she was doing voice, like using puns otherwise, like ice puns. Freeze to meet you. Yeah. So I'm wondering if she's an ice president or, yeah, the bees. Is that vice president? Okay. Well, I'm glad we could help.

Although I will say that's not an invitation for other weird freaks to send in their little weird requests. I know. I think we got two of them, the trickster and the freester. We are done. Let's stop. Let's stop it there. Let's stop opening up the lines of communication of these freaks. We can't just let them tap into the connection is the issue. Well, I'm going to put up a firewall.

There you go. Thank you. I thought you had done that already. Okay. So you haven't done that yet. Nope. Gotcha. Gotcha.

That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. There you can unlock a wonderful array of beautiful content. I'm talking the sloppy boys blowout. That's the weekly bonus. And don't forget,

questions for Lennon, the monthly bonus. Yeah, that's a good show. That's going to be a good one. Who we got coming up? Do we know? Oh, we got a really good guest for August. You're sitting right next to him.

Yes, and he's got quite a shit-eating grin, doesn't he? Nice get, Michael. Musician Tim Kaltagas. I went through the right channels and got him to sign up. Yeah, I talked to UTA and Artists First, my reps. Anyone who wants to book me, reach out to UTA and artists first. For your silly podcast. Great episode, guys.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And great episode, those of you listening at home. Go ahead and tell a friend next time. More the merrier over here. Rank and report. Let's see you online. We've got a website. Check out the t-shirts that's all fun and hey if you're in the new york area why don't you come on out come to the album

listening party listen to the album august 3rd little field get all into the sloppy boys this summer it's a whole thing it's a groovement, it's a movement. Bye, folks. Bye. Bye.