The Sloppy Boys - 149. Mai Tai

Episode Date: August 25, 2023

The guys encounter a titan of tiki culture, invented by Victor J. Bergeron in 1944 at his Oakland, California restaurant, Trader Vic's. Plus, big news as The Slops are headed to the big screen!MAI TAI RECIPE1oz/30 ml Amber Jamaican Rum1oz/30 ml Martinique Molasses Rhum*.5oz/15 ml Orange Curacao.5oz/15 ml Orgeat Syrup (Almond)1oz/30 ml Fresh Lime Juice.25oz/7.5 ml Simple SyrupAdd all ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake and pour into a double rocks glass or a highball glass. Garnish with pineapple spear, mint leaves, and lime peel.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with the bad boys of podcasting, Mike, the big hand bopper Hanford. Hey everybody, how's it going out there? And Timmy Calpike, the Greek freak. What is up? Timmy Calpike. Before I knew you were Greek, Tim, I just thought you were a freak.

A freaky man. I'm super freaky. Guys, what a satisfying summer to be a slophead. This is a big one. Huge. Do you agree? Huge summer. Sure, we had to cancel a tour sure okay listeners listeners not thinking about that they don't care about that i they're thinking

beginning of summer i put my chips on the slops and they paid off big time yep the two albums have come out i'm i'm cranking them i've shaken my butt every conceivable way. It's almost off. My pussy's popped. Every direction. To the point where it's blown out and I got to see my primary care physician. Okay, that's a Dutz album. Why not the gyno?

Why not the gyno? Why are you going to primary care? And my penis, if I have one, is all tangled up like a Snyder sourdough. Hard pretzel? Yeah, the stubby little hard one. Mine's more like the honey mustard nuggets all crunched up. Covered in dust. Crunched up and covered in dust.

Dude, this is not how we start this podcast. Well, we have a big announcement, Mike. The gravy train isn't over. Well, say it already. There's more on the way, is there not? There is. Yeah, and we sort of have been coy boys and have been teasing through the spring and early summer that there was more to come. Yeah.

The eagle-eyed internet user might already know what we're going to say. Yeah, if you have access to Google, maybe. The Crown Jewels, Ranch album 4 from the Sloppy Boys. You know the tracks. You love the tracks. What if I told you that cameras were rolling the whole time? The whole time? The whole time?

Surely they didn't capture any of me. Oh, did they? You can see every inch of the big hand bopper. Oh, stop. Folks, we see every inch of the big hand bopper. Oh, stop. Folks, we got a documentary coming out directed by Robert O'Geen, the Prince of El Paso.

Woo! The Sloppy Boys. A feature-length, a feature-length movie, a full feature-length doc. This is right up there with Hoop Dreams. Fly on the wall. If you want to see Tim spit fucking fire, dude, for the verses in Gardens of Gamora,

you got it. Yes. If you want to see Dutz struggle to drum to a click, you got it. If you want to see Hanford play a guitar solo that fucking rips? You'll get it.

That was yuppie, man. Yes. What is the title of this documentary? I'm sure that people want to know why it's blood, sweat and beers. Of course. This is great. I'm so pumped for people to get to see this movie. pumped for people to get to see this movie and uh where it's premiering at the el paso film festival on september 29th so get your butt down to el paso i guess we're gonna be there yeah come

on out geez buy a ticket folks we'll see you there go online google your way online and get tickets at the el paso film festival website um is fun, basically, is what we're saying. This is cool and it's good. You're going to see the process of the album. You're going to see some funny funniness along the way. You're basically living with us for a week. It's the Beatles, Don't Let Me Down or whatever. Coming All back.

What was the name of the thing? Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Tim and I were talking about this before the podcast. He and I feel both that we have not woken up today. I agree.

Okay, and I am trying here, and I can't remember the name of a Beatles documentary. You know what I took the other day? You're a Beatle maniac. You guys ever hear of Unisom? No. Unisav? It's a sleep aid. It used to be prescription.

It's not anymore. It should still be prescription, because I took one, and it knocked me the fuck out for like a day and a half. I slept fantastically, but then I never woke up like the whole next day. Well, let me break down the etymology of that word. Unisom. Okay. Som comes from insomnia.

If it's insomnia means you can't sleep. Som means sleep. Una is universal. So this pill gives you a universal sleep. Jesus Christ. Maybe go up there and take a nap with some of those minions. If you want such universal sleep. Huh?

Oh, okay. Yes. Huh? I'm choking over here on my own spit. You know what I'm drinking? You guys ever had I'm drinking a Canada Dry product. It's called Black Cherry Wishniak. Have you ever heard of this?

What the fuck? No. And it's written small off to the side in like Times New Roman font. What the fuck is that? It looks small off to the side and like Times New Roman font. What the fuck is that? It looks fake. And Wyschniak is like a Polish last name. Well, let me. I've never had this before.

And I picked it up the other day. I was ginger ale shopping and I picked this up. And I freaking. Hold on. I want to. Wyschniak is a. It's like Wozniak. It's Wyschniak originally is a liquor made in Russia consisting of sugar, cherries, and vodka.

But this is a soda, old-fashioned soda with genuine black cherry flavor. It is so good. It tastes... It's just thick. It's a... I don't even remember. I opened this yesterday and I didn't drink all of it, but I don't even remember any fizz in it.

It's just... It feels like a mixer. Like a syrup. I mean, this is just like add, drink a sip of it and add like two shots of vodka and you got a drink, I think. Damn. Wishniak. That's good Wishniak.

Nyak, nyak. This is Wishniak season for me. Yeah. Nyak, nyak. So I guess there's two things we wanted to say. A, there's a feature-length documentary about us that's coming out. But also, equally importantly, Wishniac. It's a Wishniac day.

I guess the documentary is brought to you by Wishniac. Not even Canada Dry Brand. It's the National Council of wishniacs got together just in general damn that's funny when that happens you know when you when you see commercial like got milk or beef it's what's for dinner or pork the other white meat it's like not one brand it's just like all the farmers were like let's all chip in a coalition of farmers that's so funny we're going in on an ad you You want to get in on this? I'd love to. Let's get our stuff sold here.

And with that, do we turn to Booze News? We do. Yes, let's turn to Bip, Bip, Bip, Bip, Bip, Booze News. Hit it. Bip, Bip, Bip, Bip, Bip, Bip. Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer is one of the summer's most hotly anticipated event movies, but the age gap between Cillian Murphy and Florence Pugh has caused some controversy. Speaking of age gaps...

Grimace is 52. Grimace is 52. Toad is 32. Grimace is 52. Toad is 32. Grimace is 52. Toad is 32. Grimace is 52.

Toad is 32. Grimace is 52. It's almost like you're pulling down your reading glasses. Grimace is 52. Looking at the sheet. Ah, yes. We know Toad is 32 and Grimace is 52. Looking at the sheet. Ah, yes. We know Toad is 32 and Grimace is 52. Grimace's age divided by 2 plus 7 is 33, so I guess it's okay.

Whoa. Is Grimace too old for Toad? Was sent to us by Mary and Sean from Baltimore. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. It's like a found footage. Something. They did all my work for me at the end.

Yeah, what do you got to say now? Hot shot. Nice. I'm just speechless. Did we say on the podcast that the rule is your age cut it half divided by two plus seven or is that just common knowledge i've heard that before yeah yeah no but so it's okay yeah it's okay only this podcast is breaking stories about the ages of Grimace.

And then Grimace is fucking toad, apparently. Yeah, where'd that come from? Why are we talking about that? Who'd want that? Oh, boy. That's a blast from the past, Timbo. Who wouldn't love that? Who'd love that?

Do you guys want to hear my booze news yeah sure now's the time well this is really really very special booze news because this is not this is not a headline that i read or something that was sent to me but i just wanted to share with you guys an anecdote of something that i lived in this past week because you we talk a lot about drinks here. Hey, I read this, I did this. But we're on Zoom. We're all cooped up. But sometimes you got to get out there in the wild.

You got to see what's going on. So Tim, this is like a human interest story. It's like a human interest story. Exactly. Humid interest with the heat these days. Oh, okay. It was the heat. Yeah, you're right.

Squeezed by with that one. That was was close jeff i got out of that one that could have been rough much like kanye did to taylor i should have let you finish okay um here's the story he did let her finish here's the story um you guys know i was just in new jersey i i did a vacation to the Jersey shore towns, right? Yes, yes, yes. Hey, we're talking Asbury Park, Seaside Heights, Atlantic City, Wildwood, Cape May. But everybody knows that.

But some people may not know. There's also, toward the end of the trip, I spent a night in Princeton, New Jersey. Ever been to Princeton, New Jersey? Yeah, I went there for four years. Don't do not correct me on that one. Those four years where you had to go clean up turds and all. That's it.

I was going to say shit in a bathroom. In the hall. Four years. You two are surely not princeton lads um okay so princeton obviously uh uh you know quaint college town with the big fat ivy league campus there and i go i'm walking around right so there's a row of restaurants just off campus yeah restaurant row i had just had the spiciest ramen i ever did have really now let me paint a picture i'm walking i'm walking in front of me walk in the same direction so i'm behind them a couple of girls in princeton students i want to call them they're

young i'm gonna say freshman sophomore students walk in same direction as me in front of me you're following them just to be. You're following them. Just to be clear, you're following two college girls. I'm tracking them. I'm not saying anything, but you can hear me breathing. No, I'm walking my own business. They're walking. Everyone's just walking.

But in the other direction coming towards us, three college boys, also young freshman sophomores, you know and they these guys got the kind of tick-tock hair you know like the bushy bangs kind of sure no no cap bussing type guys and they're walking toward me and and i'm i'm watching this is very good people watching for me these guys clock these girls right and they're they walk past and then as they pass one of the guys tall tall good-lookingest guy of the gang turns to the girls and says hey borg and the girls stop and go what and he goes dirty borg and they're like and they're like dirty borg tonight and he says an address and uh he's inviting them to a board party he sees these girls or we're going to a board party i'm gonna invite the girls so he's like yep dirty i don't know what dirty borg is i'm guessing that it's like your pun names for

your borg are supposed to be pornographic um and he's like okay over there to a dirty board party okay and then the guys walk off and the girls are like what and they keep walking away and i'm watching them keep walking away and then they'll they stop and be like don't worry i got the address we'll all go together dirty board uh they go and then they go and then they turn around and they walk in the same day in the direction of the boys and they decided to go to the borg party whoa right then and there so i just i got to witness you know we've drank borgs on the show and we talked about borgs but for me it's mainly coming from tiktok or news articles or or whatever so to see some 19-year-olds

and to hear that this is what they do on a Saturday night on an Ivy League campus, they're drinking Borgs, folks. Wow. You saw it with your own eyes. I'm still surprised they're drinking Borgs at college. That seemed like a fad that would have been gone by now.

Also, we learned that usually we drink a Borg out of a darty, a daytime party. Right. But this was night. Narty. I bet this is the type of thing where people get there, it's like, it's a Borg party, but whatever,

we're drinking beers too. Mike, you sound like someone who's never been to a darty or a narty. Have you been to a narty? I've never been to a darty or a narty, but I think the Borg is over. We should have a big, in LA, we should have a sloppy boys narty. I think the Borg is over and these guys are promoting an out of fashion party. Wow.

Shots fired at Princeton. Also, I don't like our Princeton kids drinking Borgs and ruining their big brains. We need them. We need those big brains. Yeah, these are the leaders big brains. We need them. We need those big brains. Yeah, these are the leaders of tomorrow. We need these guys. And it's kind of funny that like college kids are just college kids and you could be at,

you know, like whether it's like ASU or Princeton, there's a guy with like bushy bangs going Borg. I love that too. He's just like Borg and not like, hey, there's a Borg party tonight. Yeah, was that just a way to to like keep them off balance is that like a pickup type thing where you you just like you spin around at some girls and you say something like borg and they're like what and then it did it did feel like a thing

like yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't call it a neg because it's not negative but it did it does sort of throw you off kilter it's like wham bam i just i just said a weird word i just blurted out the word like the other person has to ask a question it's like what's boring oh now we're talking i mean i'm sure these i'm sure everybody involved knows what a bore it's a blackout rage gown and they're college kids and they would know but it just the way he blurted it out it's like if he just went hot dog and you're like what you're like i'm having, hot dog. And you're like, what? And you're like, I'm having a hot dog. Hot dog. Oh, very nice.

And I'm inviting you to my hot dog dinner. Well, I don't like our Princeton men and women drinking or eating hot dogs either. Mike, we're going to get you down there and straighten up the place. I know. I was down there for four years. My booze news I already talked about. Black Wishniak. Black Cherry Wishniak.

Brought to you by Black Cherry Wishniak. If you see it, folks, pick one up and just try it. I don't think it... This thing probably didn't cost me more than $3. And that's Canada Dry. That's Canada Dry. The makers of your classic ginger ale and your ginger ale bold right don't forget ginger ale bold diet i think they have an orange one okay ginger ale here's what's weird is it's a little redundant to say black cherry wishniac because now i'm

i just googled wishniac and it is like black cherry yeah it's a it's a black cherry drink chai tea it would be i think if if they just put wishniac on this people would be like i have no idea what that is but black cherry i've heard of before well then it's like if you're gonna say black cherry just lose the wish you just say black cherry drink why yeah why are they insisting on writing wishniac on their product you know the uh kind of word no one's ever seen before i think think the people at Canada Dry have done their marketing research, and they know what they're doing. There's no accident what goes on these labels. I mean, think about it.

Hot summer day, you're in the sun, you're sweaty, you need to hydrate, you reach for a Wishne. Have me a Wishne-ack. I got home from a run today. I was soaked with sweat. I was so hot. I came in. Remember the candida that we did last week?

Oh, yeah. I had some of the grapefruit juice left, and I drank that grape juice right down, baby. Grapefruit juice. Wait, what does that have to do with the candida shot? Oh, you mean the cantarito. Cantarito, sorry. The cantarito. What was the candida shot? That's the

cayenne ginger face melter we did. Oh, God. I told you I was tired. Those are behind the paywall on the Patreon. Whoops. I shouldn't be talking about that. No, we should. We want people back there.

Yeah, plug it. Everybody, hey, subscribe on a serious note. Subscribe. Subscribe. And now it's only $5. That's awesome. It was $5 before. Another cool thing about our Patreon is last, there was a video episode that we had shot with Money Mark on the Sonic Ranch in Texas.

And we put that on YouTube. For all. If you go on there on our YouTube channel, watch this hour long interview, us interviewing Money Mark. If you like that, that's you experiencing the sloppy boys blowout. Then go to our Patreon. That's what's happening. That's you experiencing that. That what that's you experiencing the sloppy boys blowout then go to our page that's what's happening that's you experiencing that's what's happening the the what's actually happening in your brain if you were to see the neural pathways yeah is your you're experiencing the sloppy boys blowout so then you should go to patreon and subscribe pleasure centers are just

lighting up yeah is that it for booze news wrap it up Yeah Is that it for Booze News? Wrap it up Oof Oof Video game Ouch That's not Duck Hunt

No Duck Man? I know it Donkey Kong Oh yes Ah The Big Ape Yes

The barrel throwing monkey That you love to topple Donkey Man Yes Okay you guys ready to talk about the drink of the day? Finally yeah Ah The barrel-throwing monkey that you love to topple. Donkey man. Yes. Okay, you guys ready to talk about the drink of the day? Finally, yeah. Ah.

Aloha. Mahalo. Yeah. It's the Mai Tai you've had. Wow, yes. You took me by surprise. We're doing what today? Wow. Ma-ma-ma a big boy. That's one

of the greats. A doozy. Where was that one? Every time we thumb through the Rolodex, through the IBA, we're like, oh, this one sucks. This one sucks. We skipped right by my tie? I think, yeah. We would see it and go, we'll do this eventually. Ace up the

sleeve. Because we love it. We know it. We love it. We wanted to make sure we became expert podcasters before we tackled the big boy. Yes. So you guys have both had. Tell me what comes to mind. What's your image of the Mai Tai? What's your connotation with the Mai Tai?

You and Mike Mitchell getting them a lot. Mai Tais. Even before the Tiki Boom, Mitch was was always into them he orders them at normal bars yeah which is questionable like a dive bar he'd be like can you make a Mai Tai and they'd be like uh I think so they'd be like I'll make you something with fruit juice in it

one time on a plane because it was Hawaiian Airlines do you have a Mai Tai and the flight attendant was like no you have a mai tai and the flight attendant was like uh no but i can make you something similar and i was like he's probably gonna do pineapple juice and rum and it's gonna be way wrong but he did orange juice and amaretto and i thought that was clever because the almond and the orange that's the taste of my time i'm i'm uh looking forward to this i haven't had a mai tai in a long time yeah i conflate it with

a lot of the other tiki drinks like we've discussed before a lot of tiki drinks are kind of similar but this one is kind of the the big dog it's the most well-rounded and it's kind of my go-to this and the zombie are my um kind of my go-tos yeah i'm with you jeff because i don't really know the other ones and i'm just like those are two i know and there's usually a huge line i was zombie i haven't zombie is like when you're trying to do some damage you know like my tie yeah is i i think my tie is like the big boy it's like the budweiser of tiki drinks or something and it's like i think of it as i always my first time at a new tiki bar i order the my tie does like a gauge i just start with that is my first drink to be like do they do it right or do they do it well zombie to me is like i don't want to have to order two drinks

this one if you only have 30 minutes before um grown-ups two starts across the street get yourself get yourself a mai tai split a scorpion bowl with somebody and walk out the door but yeah so this is people that don't know tiki or even us before we were enlightened you you conflate other tropical you might think like oh pina colada or strawberry daiquiri or margarita like the big yeah those are not tiki we're talking t tiki, tiki, tiki. Mai Tai is the big one. And the history is this. You know, when we're talking tiki, you're talking about two main dudes, Don the Beachcomber and Trader Vic. And while Don the Beachcomber came first and he was in L.A. And he invented that your beloved zombie and a bunch of other cocktails.

This one, the Big Mama, is actually attributed to trader vick about 10 years later because because uh don the beachcomber is like early 30s in la and then trader vick opened trader vicks in uh oakland and uh invented this drink in 1944 or in the early 40s and this is his big contribution there's a fight a lot of you know don the beachcomber said i actually invented it and and the trader vick ripped me off but then people say like oh that's not true but there was a very similar drink like like trader vick was clearly influenced by don the beachcomber and sort of ripping them off a little bit but the the recipe that we know and

love yeah is like the original trader vick recipe so this is like jack white versus the black keys almost yeah okay jack white his beef with dan auerbach from the black keys was about the he thought he was a rip-off artist and then and then he was mad that their sons went to the same school or something like that like man i can't get away from this motherfucker who's the guy that jack white beat up the von bondy's guy yes the von bondy's guy i don't know his name and the von bondy's guy instead of like wiping the blood off his face was like take a picture of me take a picture to last longer and now get this blood off me that's cool that Jack White's a bad boy. Was Trader, he's also a tall boy.

He's a tall guy. Yeah, he's a tall boy. Was Trader Vicks, is that a chain? Like, were there a bunch of them? Yeah. Yeah, and they still exist. There's just not as many. There was one downtown in LA.

There's still one at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills. Yeah. They kind of reformatted it and it has barely any tiki theme but yeah they were all over the place and that's why his name checked in uh werewolves of london yeah that's what i was just thinking and also in in booze news we we talked about that um somebody just bought the rights to dawn beach on the beach restaurants so we could be seeing some competition are there any i'm looking up if there's a trader vicks in new york is there one you said it's uh the only existing one is that beverly hills hilton one uh no the there's one in uh oakland not the original location but they've

opened a big fat one like on a pier in oakland there's plenty of trader joe's around but no trader vicks same thing there's um there's also that don the beachcomber documentary that's coming out uh we we beat them we're coming out with our own documentary first sorry boys i uh the the name my tie oh yeah the legend of it is supposedly the first person to try the cocktail uh was said to cry out my tie which is a tahitian for the best out of this world wow they said all that so my means the best and time um and then um uh trader vick from there he brought it to hawaii in the 50s when he designed the cocktail menu at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel,

which we've been to the Mai Tai Bar. We've been. We've been. The Big Pink Hotel. In our Blue Hawaiian episode, we recorded on the scene there at the original. What a time that was. Oh, I wanted to mention too. Well, speaking of Hawaii, I jotted down here.

If you want to donate, you know they had these crazy fires in Lahaina on Maui. To anyone that wants to donate to the fire relief funds, the New York Times said the good ones to donate to are Hawaii Community Foundation, Maui United Way, American Red Cross, and Maui Food Bank. We should put those in the show description. Phonies. Yeah. Yes, yes.

There's also some scammers that have been ripping people off, so make sure you go to the good ones. If have any uh hawaiian listeners we're thinking about you and hoping you're doing all right yeah baby we certainly are but my speaking of hawaii my this is a tiki is weirdly californian right and it's just like these like white restauranteurs in california were creating this fakey version of polynesian culture because they didn't really in Tahiti in Hawaii they didn't really like drink alcohol or anything until more recently but my first Mai Tai ever I'd heard of it forever and then the first time I went to Hawaii in flight like you know you assume they're just gonna have the normal uh cocktail menu but because it was Hawaiian Airlines they had pog uh you know the passion oh yeah passion orange guava and then they had my a mai tai and i said i'll have a mai tai

and it was the trader vicks mix so it wasn't like this fancy mai tai we're gonna have today but it's it i drank it and it was delicious and i said i love mai tais and then the rest of that trip i was drinking them and i finally got to have some of these trader vicks originals and what really struck me is this flavor you don't think about it but almond and orange coming together it's an odd pairing and that every tiki drink has multiple rums and lime like we said but then there's always something weird on top of that and in this one you're going to get almond and orange and on a lot of um bar menus a lot of times our house mai tai sucks but if you see that they have the like it's too juicy but if you see that they say

trader vicks original go with that one because that's going to be more closer to this recipe that we're going to do now nice do you want to hear it yeah this is on the iba cocktail list so rather than go digging up the Trader Vic's original recipe, you could do that on your own time, but we're going with the international bar. This is our association. And, and they did,

they did a good job trying to make it similar. In fact, I do think this looks like the Trader Vic recipe ingredients, one ounce, Amber, Jamaican rum. Wait, what real quick,

uh, Amber, Jamaican rum. That's like pretty specific versus a lot of the drinks that we do where it's just like white rum or dark rum um if you're uh you know joe six-pack what would you sub for something like that like a captain morgan's um i would get maybe not captain morgan's because that's spiced rum. I'd be closer to just like the normal white Bacardi. But if you see something with like Bacardi gold or any rum that is gold or has some color to it.

But kind of what they're saying is they probably mentioned amber to say not dark rum like Myers. But then a lot of Mai Tais do have that little dark float on top and that can be fun especially if it's like a sweeter if it's like whaler or crack and it can be nice and that brings us to the next one then the next room here is martinique molasses rum now i learned recently from my friend sean kiernan that when you see rum spelled r-h-u-m that's french so you're talking about the french colonies and martinique is it was a french island you know french colony and they treat rum like kind of cognac but i asked the guy cap and cork do you have martinique molasses rum and he's like no

they don't really sell that anymore here here's martinique agricole and i bought that and then quickly jeff you sent me a link to red Reddit where people talk about this type of stuff. And they were like, agricole is way different than Martinique molasses rum. So we don't have the exact totally right thing. But we did use blackstrap molasses rum for something on the podcast. And I do have it. Oh, right. Maybe I'll put a splash. Didn't we just use blackstrap molasses?

Well, that was me doing the Yule M mule yeah oh right i think what i've read here and there's a little well actually i'll finish the ingredients 15 milliliters half an ounce of orange curacao i got some of the fancy stuff of that that's also a it's a french liqueur made from orange peels similar to a triple sec and i would sub triple sec if you don't have curacao 15 milliliters half an ounce of orgeat syrup that's an almondy syrup best known for like coffee drinks that's a pretty that's a tiki staple you should you should get that folks yeah we've used that before and stuff yeah i've got a few different brands of it i love this stuff and if you can't find it at your local supermarket, check the coffee section with all those like Italian flavor syrups.

Probably there. Ah, smart. One ounce of fresh lime juice. Yes. Fuck yeah. Seven and a half milliliters, a quarter ounce of simple syrup. Interesting with Orgeat to also need simple syrup. The method is add on ingredients to a shaker with ice.

Shake and pour into a double rocks glass or a highball glass boo double rocks glass and there's an asterisk here that says the martinique molasses rum used by trader vick was not agricole rum but a type of rummy in quotes rummy r-u-m-m-y from molasses but i think the takeaway here and i googled and learned as much is that you're not looking for like a a fancy polished rum trader vick was at a kind of a raunchy rum flavor so slop heads come buy any two rums whatever's around i don't care if it's myers yeah like poor man's poor man's are we doing bacardi and myers great you know cardian myers would be great and i'm not even gonna poo- poo poo the, the, the, the captain Morgan either, honestly, sure. Sure. Uh, Bacardi and captain and all this talk of agricole not being right.

The only reason that was on a Reddit is because it's such a common substitution. So I don't think we're in the wrong to be doing agricole for round one. Exactly. It's because it's the other one from Martinique. The difference though, is whether the rum is made from sugar cane juice or the molasses like the byproduct you know there's that middle step of making molasses it reminds me of like cachaca when we when we were making the um ah yes caipirinhas we learned about you can make some drinks from sugar cane you make other drinks

but by things that you made with sugar cane first yeah anyway garnish this drink with a pineapple spear mint leaves and a lime peel i forgot all that stuff sometimes you see a nice little purple orchid on there and that's nice i've also heard uh pineapple gets foisted onto the mai tai what do you mean it doesn't belong like you know people get a little people get a little excited to add pineapple to anything tiki and that maybe you know a lot of times you get to add pineapple to anything tiki. And that maybe, you know, a lot of times you get Mai Tais and they don't come with pineapple. I agree.

And definitely, certainly not. I forgot to get mint leaves. Certainly not pineapple juice. Like look at this recipe, folks. The only fresh juice in here, the only fruit juice is lime. We're getting our orange taste just from Curacao and we're getting our sweetness from

orgeat almond syrup so don't go juicing this up stop it with the oj and the doll stop it now pineapple juice not always welcome welcome to the j man you know it's good to have a little extra pineapple juice around jav it's, it's good to have, Tim. This is enough. Jav! This is enough of this talk. You know, because it makes the semen less bitter. Tim, take it away. Oh, okay.

No, absolutely. Stop, Jav. I didn't know what you were getting at, and you were getting at that. We'll go right ahead. Can we please go make this drink? I am disgusted. Oh, Michael.

It's, I gotta hit my, I gotta turn my AC on, too. Don't clutch your pearls around me. Go ahead and turn it on. Folks, we're going to go make these drinks. And when we come back, first sips. Ooh, now I'm too cold. And we're back. Mai Tai's in hand.

Let's see. Yes. Huh? Oh, beautiful work, guys. Nice, Jeff. I use one of the little tiki stirrers, you know? Yeah, that looks like it's in a little, what is that, Jeff? It's like a- It's got a swizzle stick.

So this is from Sol vang it's the high rollers tiki club oh i see what it is it's like a lady uh like a 50s pinup girl and then um i got i do have mint and we'll talk about that and i got a little pineapple wedge and then i've never seen lime peel uh before as a garnish but i i tried to do like a little twist. Limes are weird because the skin is so thin compared to a lemon. I just did a little triangle of lime. That's a wedge, Mike. That's a wedge. Sorry.

Wait, so the recipe said peel. I feel like what I normally see at a Tiki, like the Tiki tea does like a very iconic original one of these. And I think that they just throw in like the discarded lime. Yeah. The shell,

like the spent line. And that like sometimes a tiki bar, that'll be even be lit on fire with a cube, like at the Tonga hut. Oh yeah. Turn it outside down, put a one 51 and a sugar cube and later. Have you tried that?

Cause I tried it with just like, um, a blob of sugar. Cause I didn't have a cube, but you actually do need it to be a cube to like hold together. It makes the fire a lot better. Like otherwise it'll just kind of like spread out.

Yeah, it turns into mush. When we did the scorpion bowl all together, remember we lit it up with a cube and we were like, this is amazing. It really does, like that 151 really burned hard. Well, should we? Let's go in. Oh guys, check this out. I have pebble ice.

I had a bag of pebble ice. I have the real iconic fucking thing. Nice. I did crushed up ice, too. I put it in a bag and smashed it. Smart. Just normal for me. Sips. Ooh, I'm swayed by the smell. Ooh. Nice.

I think I did a little too much on the lime there maybe that's the taste i i would say that i i did think it was odd adding simple syrup after having put the orgeat and this is very sugary um yeah but it is that it is that original trader vic Vic type recipe taste. I just did extra orgeat. I didn't want to do simple syrup. Yeah, I did no simple syrup. Normally, I'm a letter of the law guy. Ooh, that's good. But you want, it's nice to get more of that almond coming through because that's part of the taste. I feel like I'm lacking

it a little bit. Yeah. I gotta say, I'm, this feels a little light or thin to me. Like, first reaction, like, it feels a little weak. I wonder if I did something wrong. You mean alcohol-wise or like viscosity? Just alcohol-wise.

Like I'm not getting that like that harsh molasses flavor or just boozy flavor. So it's got two and a half ounces of booze, right? So one ounce of each rum and then half an ounce of curacao but i agree jeff that i think it's because i got that martinique agricole which is a very gentle cognac frenchy rum i feel like if our other rum if you did just use the myers or kraken or whatever other weird thing you got maybe r raunch it up a little bit more. Because this is going down for me kind of like, not unlike a daiquiri. It's like sugar, lime,

and I want to taste more orange, and I want to taste more almond. Hey, I'll be honest. A lot of these mixes, like the Trader Vic's mix is not bad. It's very good if you just only want to buy rum in a mix. I mean, this is pretty good,

but I agree with you. It's just not exactly what I've had before, but I don't dislike it. Could this be because we didn't use the black or the molasses-y rum? I think a dark rum floater on top of this would really help. It would really kick it up.

Ah, yeah. What did we use that blackstrap rum for? Yeah, what the fuck? We used blackstrap rum? Or just the blackstrap molasses? I own blackstrap rum. Definitely for Jeff's Yule Mule, we had molasses.

Yeah. And every time I see it in my fridge, I'm like, why do I? Oh, right, right, right. We have a giant jar. It's sold in one size jar molasses. Here's what you do, Mike. Make some toast, put some peanut butter on it, put some banana on that, and drizzle a little molasses.

Boom. That's a good idea. You know, I am cutting back on the carbs again. Again? I was going out of control, man. We never really got to see you in your downward spiral of eating carbs. It was wild. No, I'm eating rice and stuff, but I'm just trying to not do bread as much.

Sure. But I really like the bagels we had last time I saw you. So who knows? Have some of those. Mike, go for the brown rice. It's got that husk on there that's a little more fibrous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why I own black. I've searched my email for black strap, and it showed a lot of my BDSM wear.

My order's from adamandeve.com yeah but uh but it's the only thing i have in there is jeff's recipe for the yule mules blackstrap molasses so maybe i on my own decided to buy blackstrap rum odd move to me weird flex you're a weird guy hey you guys want to hear a story about mint yes yes. Yes. Just a little tale. Jet blue mint or? No, no, no. I wish. Okay. Okay.

Tim, do you remember last time you gave me some mint for the Hugo Spritz? Sure. I put it in my fridge. Allegedly going to be the drink of the summer, proven to not be so. Continue. Yeah. Not so. You gave it to me midday.

I put it in my fridge saying, this will be great for the pod in a few hours. Oh, you mentioned this when that happened. Yeah. The pod starts up. I open the fridge. Withered. Weak. Wobbly.

My mint looked like the poor unfortunate souls from The Little Mermaid. And I said, and I was at the grocery store today. I said oh here we go mint again do i get the one that's expensive and it's planted in the dirt because that's that tastes good or i said jeffy how about you learn from your mistake and get the normal mint at the normal grocery store for the common man and do it right and you know what i did i remember somebody on the discord saying,

you didn't shock your mint, Jeff. Jeff, you didn't shock your mint. Is that slapping? No, no, this is even weirder. I found this website. Maybe I'll put this in the show description too. What they tell you to do is take your mint, take off like the bottom leaf.

So it's just sort of like you get some long stems on there. Put it upside down in ice water, fully submerged for 15 minutes, or they even say 14, specifically 14. Also, you're going to want to snip the tips, the stumps at an angle like you would for a Christmas tree or some roses to expose maybe more of the goodness. I do that with my roses. Yeah need to expose maybe more of the goodness. Yeah, I do that with my roses, yeah. Yeah, yeah, perfect. It's just like that.

So you submerge it for 14 minutes in ice water. You take them out, shake it off, and you put them in a cup filled with hot water. What the fuck? Okay. You would think Wilt City, yes? Yes. These things perked up

like Carmen Electra strutted into the room were you watching them as they perked no i went i was like i guess whatever this is doing and i i went into my um bedroom came back 10 minutes later time lapse video this thing was like you wouldn't believe these things wait these are the ones the old ones do you mean old? The old ones that you got from Tim. This is just my grocery store mint, but they tell you. A new, okay, gotcha. And then you put it in this cup of hot water. On the website, they're showing it coming out of a kettle, so boiling.

I didn't go that far. And they said it'll stay poofed up and beautiful for like five days. Wow. It's crazy. So now I have like a nice looking little ornament in my kitchen of all poofed up mint. That's great. That's beautiful. That's a lot of steps to go through for.

No, it's worth it, Mike. Wait till you see this mint. I think you should just start farming mint in your house. It seems like you're using a lot. How much could a mint seed cost? A cent? Sure. Per seed?

That'd be funny if you had like a bunch of like black lights in your apartment and a whole set up and it looked like you're growing drugs, but it was mint for cocktails. It's all like basil and mint. Ah, that was good. You know what?

You know what I like about Tiki places, the couple that I've been to? I always like when they have a little like waterfall scene or something happening. You say, oh, that I've been to, I always like when they have a little waterfall scene or something happening. You say, oh, that's nice. You hear the kind of water dribbling down. A water feature. A water feature is nice. Sort of like a mini golf

course or like the line at the Indiana Jones ride. Well, there's that one in San Francisco that we went to, Tonga? Tonga Room? That water feature was a giant pool in the middle that a band would play on, and then all of a sudden it would rain on it. Like every 20 minutes there was a rainstorm.

Yeah. So it was the hotel pool, and they decided to put a boat in the pool that has a band set up. Isn't that crazy? It's no more the pool, the hotel pool. Yeah. It's just a water spot. By the way, that might have been the first place I had a Mai Tai. Isn't that crazy? It would make sense.

Like early on Sketchfest when we would go up there, I don't feel like we were doing tiki bars specifically around LA. Yeah. And then up there they got a bunch. Because also tiki drinks are so expensive and we started doing that festival when we were you know, dirt poor.

23. There was something there I used to order that was called like a pineapple Royale because they would hand you a whole pineapple. What's the other tiki bar up there. That's not the Tonga room that smugglers cove. Yeah. Smugglers. Yeah.

That's a fun. They're real famous. And they have like a famous cocktail book and stuff. I do remember somebody puking downstairs and it just kind of made the whole place smell. That's what I remember. I remember that. I don't remember smelling that, but that's the story i remember it's like it smelled bad in the basement the basement bar the floor upstairs the floor you walk in on is very like

pirates of the caribbean and and and it's got like a water feature to and and skulls and dark and it's that vibe and then you walk downstairs and we were like it was just people drinking cans of tecate and barfing. Kind of a different vibe down there. I like a tiki bar. I feel like this drink supports this where tiki is less beach bar, pool bar culture. I like a tiki bar. I like to be in a cold city.

Let's say you're in Detroit in in february you know and you step down into a basement bar and you open a curtain and you're whisked away you want to go on vacation you got a vacation in the neighborhood yeah and it's a little it's a little dark cavey oasis and there's some fog and a water feature and the drinks are really strong and people try to make fun of sweet drinks, but tiki drinks sometimes have like four shots of rum in the oven. Yeah, don't make fun of tiki drinks

around the sloppy boys. We'll kill you. Yeah, we'll have to beat you up. Yeah. Yeah. You know what this drink could use for me a splash of black cherry wishniac yes canada dry makes black cherry wishniac that i am no stranger to anymore wishniac for wasniac what a seamless ad read that was that was oh my, I guess that did kind of sound like an ad read. I don't know. Who's the guy who would interview

people? I mean, there's a bunch of them. Who's the guy I'm thinking of? Charlie Rose. No. Older. Never mind. Larry King. Walter Cronkite. Too serious. This is more of a

fun guy. Who's Sawyer? Toad. No. Who's the guy who was on after Conan? Oh, Tom Snyder. No, Snyder. After Letterman before the Kilborn days.

Oh, yeah. After Conan was Bob Costas. I'm thinking of... Oh, shit oh shit hold on now i just need to say it dick cavett is who i was thinking of oh dick cavett all right look you've mentioned a lot of tiki bars yeah we've talked about the tonga hut the tonga room smugglers cove we didn't talk about tiki tea we've talked about it before though yeah but not here on this episode I like when someone does the bowl some toro toro drink and then you come out of the bathroom

and the bowl is going crazy and you're like what the hell just happened I remember we went there the night before we left on tour it was our stop on the yes it was a stop on LA it was a stop on the tour it's funny to have the LA stop on the west coast tour was a stop on la it was a stop on the tour on the uh it's funny to have the

la stop on the west coast tour and you're back in your in your bed by the way the best thing in the world to like you know you you leave and you pack up and you go on you hit the road and then three nights in you get to sleep in your own bed and shower it's so nice change your underpants but i was at did i tell you guys when i was at tiki Tea, I noticed one of the bartenders I didn't recognize. He wasn't the usual bartender there. He was sort of this like older dude, black dude in like really good shape, really jacked. And I didn't recognize him yet. Okay.

Mm-hmm. And I was asking him like, what's the best drink here? Yeah. I waited in the line for like 40 minutes because Tiki Tea is pretty small. And I was asking him like, what's the best, you know, what's the best drink here? Yeah. I waited in the line for like 40 minutes because Tiki Tea is pretty small. And. Rainy night too. And he was like, Jeff, right?

And I was like, yeah, Jeff. He's like, yeah, I love the pod, man. You guys are hitting the road. I said, yeah, we're on. We're actually on the road. It's cool when you get to actually sleep in your own bed. And he's like, yeah, yeah, no, I know. I know because I'm a musician myself.

Oh, the bartender was a musician. Gotcha. And it's starting to add up for me a little bit. But at the time- I'm still sharpening my number two pencil here, baby. It's not adding up for me at all yet. Okay, anyway, so I'm in Tiki Tea. New bartender I haven't seen before. He's a musician.

And I'm asking him, all I'm concerned about is what's the best drink? What do I get? Yeah. Because now's my chance to get it. Right. And he leans into me and he whispers this. Bass. Total satisfaction

Going through my mind It's got two rooms and some lime juice My time But you know we're at it For us to unwind Some Cobra South and Orchard 2 Something like a phenomenon Go and tell everyone on the planet

My time Tell your friends Mike is here For the fame Can you believe that? No! Wait a minute. Jimmy. He said, go and tell everyone on the pod that Mai Tais are the fave. Oh! I don't know if you can hear the words. Who was that music artist?

Was that LL Cool J? No, because I said, I was like, Grandmaster Flash. And he said, no, Melly Mel. I'm Melly Mel, and I sing on that song. Melly Mel. Not Grandmaster Flash. I see. And what is usually, how does he usually sing that song?

I think it's White Lines. Okay. I think. Yeah. He might I think. Yeah. He might think that too. That's cool that you met him. Yeah. And you didn't tell us, because we were there with you, that you didn't say, hey.

Well, he whispered it to Jeff, so we didn't overhear it. Right. And he said, tell your friends Mike and Tim. So he figured the information got to you. Yeah. He didn't say that you should do it right away or wait till a podcast. Yeah. Now it's

a year later just wait hold off until the very right moment you'll know when it is that's cool that is cool how did he how did you did you record that or did you send did he send you a recording of it um no like i said he sort of leaned in and whispered it, and luckily my phone was right there in my hand. Oh, perfect. Yeah. That you recorded. Well, would you change anything about the drink? Other than adding some cherry Wischniak, I would lessen the lime. How dare you, Mike?

Well, it's because I also, that wedge of lime, I also like squeeze that and put it in. So I had a little too much of the lime. I might, for round two, I might put a splash of a raunchier rum, like some sort of dark rum. But I want more almond and I want more Curacao. Because like, you know, there's different Orgeats. I used to have one that was the Spirit Guides brand. It was really. What you got?

Right now I'm using trader vicks which has a nice amaretto ish taste but it's kind of just like it's clear it's like simple syrup and then i have fee brothers yeah that's what i'm doing oh remember i did you guys ever i had the spirit guides uh or jott that was like really nutty it was like brown like it was just wild like a man it was like mashed up almonds in there and it was really good. So I say go for the raunchier rums and the raunchier almond options. If you don't have or shot, use Amaretto, folks. Use DeSorono.

That's pretty fun. Use Amaretto. Use DeSorono. You know what? Part of me didn't like almond for a long time you know why why pink almond hand soap from schools oh yeah why did it always had this like nasty like almond smell to it's a slippery pink stuff that i grew up with my whole life and i decided i don't like almond it smells like bathroom soap at my school and that's not for kids like like uh the

taste of almond like like marzipan and nougat and all these different desserts. It's not for kids. It's wasted on kids. Kids soap should smell like fruity pebbles or dunkaroos or sage. So dunkaroos

is not the flavor of the dip but the cookie itself. Yes. A gram cookie. All right. I might actually do the poor man's version and just do Bacardi and Myers. See what that gets me. Great. I'm going to raunch mine up a little bit, and I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to just do that.

I'm going to look on my cart. Oh, I got, I'm going to do, I'm going to do Captain Morgan's. I see a little Captain Morgan's over there. Yoo-hoo. Hey there how are you i want to talk to you all right folks sit tight and listen to these ads we'll be right back after this and we're back i found the two darker rums that i was thinking of goslings we had for the dark and stormy black rum and then also from forever ago i found some uh hamilton 86 demerara rum oh that stuff's good ah i like that we maybe had that for like the zombie episode two or something i had it like in one of the little bottles on the way back was it like uh was it like you had to blow some dust like finding an old spell book

um this looks really good i ended up doing the what's the amber you got tim the amber really good i ended up doing the what's the amber you got tim the amber rum um appleton estate i did the appleton estate and myers so i didn't go bacardi i went amber and molasses nice appleton is gives it that taste like that you don't usually have in your home that's like that tiki tea taste it's giving taste it's it's giving professional bartender I did double shot of spiced rum of Captain Morgan's spiced rum. I ronched mine up a bit. I just did kind of more of everything and a little splash of black molasses. Nice. Rum.

I did a little more or shot a little more Curacao as well. Let's do it. Bottoms up. Not bad. Yeah. Oh, there's the taste. Yeah, baby. yeah oh there's the taste yeah baby even though this has like the fakie you know spiced rum taste i would expect more of this taste at a tiki place than the version i made before like it's got more

of a thing to it well and you have multiple you had to the captain morgan but did you also have the other rums in there too no i just did i just did instead of the two rums copy two times the morgan's mine hasn't just i mixed rums together i built a little splash of a bunch of rums and more lime more orgeat more cursive more everything and it's working it's just it's kitchen sinky i don't i feel like the iba recipe is yeah a little, a little something. I think that a slophead should do some Googling and figure out use the original Trader Vic's recipe.

And I think we could even explore in a future episode the Vic's 44 original. The original. Hey! That could be next episode. That would be crazy. What follow through? That'd be good. Not tomorrow, next week.

Yeah, man. Because I still feel like I'm not getting... When I get one of these at a Tonga room or a Tonga hut, you take a sip and you're like, ooh, that's fruity and juicy and jet fuel powerful. I'm not feeling that like, oh boy, I better sit down. I feel like the IBA didn't want to give us because it's two ounces of rum, half

an ounce of Curacao. So two and a half hours. They didn't want to hit us with what you get at a tiki bar, which is like four shots of rum and in bigger glasses. I mean, these are small. Well, whose fault is that, Mike? Yeah, look at mine. Mine's like, well, I just that's what the recipes told us. You guys

didn't comment on my beautiful glass from Mama's Fish House in Maui. Ooh, is that a little face, is that a little carving in there? Wow, so that's like a rocks glass with a little pedestal on it. Yeah, and it's a tiki face, but it's clear. And yeah, and it just reminded me, I do like it when the Mai Tai has a little dark rum floater on top. Yes. You know? Yes.

That's nice. Do we want to get into. You know? Yes. That's nice. Do we want to get into our final thoughts? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Let's start with Tim. I mean, this is probably maybe my favorite cocktail. Well, it's between the martini and the Mai Tai. And I've made many of both.

I've probably made more martinis than Mai Tais, but I still made a fucking shitload of Mai Tais. And it's my favorite tiki drink. It's an all-timer, big part of my life. I love the Mai Tai. Now, this recipe was a little wimpy, but I'm not going to hold that against the cocktail. It's in order again. I love it with all your heart. It's the Mai Tai.

It's in order again. It's a love it with all your heart. It's the Mai Tai. And you know what? The word Mai Tai comes from is Tahitian for the best out of this world. Can't do any better than the Mai Tai. This drink has a pretty great taste if you're talking about earthly taste. Yeah, I'll agree with that, Tim. This is just a knock against the IBA, I think.

This is a great drink. I've had better than this one, and I want to perfect it. I want to perfect it on the pod, if you can believe it. Yeah, me too. You may have your chance. Pretty soon, we'll be out from under the thumb of tyranny. Out from under the IBA in no time, folks. We're closing in on the end of the IBA list.

out from under the IBA in no time, folks. We're closing in on the end of the IBA list. It's like a recording artist being like, once I get these two records done, I can get away from this contract and do my own thing. I'm trying to get away from this association that has no idea we exist. Does not give a fuck.

It's an independent podcast. We do ourselves. It is our choice to be beholden to this weird association that nobody's heard of. I'll tell you what, this Mai Tai just hit me. I wasn't feeling a buzz. And then I just got the warmest. It's funny because drunk is drunk.

It's just like alcohol in your blood. Sure. But when it's a tiki drink. It's great. You trick yourself. Well, you trick yourself and feel that warm feeling. It was like you took me to the islands a little bit. Ooh.

For me, this drink, look, if you like this drink, give me a hell yeah, because this is a Stone Cold Classic. Hooray. This is a Stone Cold Classic. Yeah, it's so good. How can you not? This is an A plus gold drink. Kind of a sneaker-upper.

Out of this world? Wow. So, wait a second. You guys... Yeah. Did one of you guys mention the Mai Tai? Yeah, we've been mentioning it this whole time. It came up.

Okay, well, that kind of made me think about how there there's there's one type of my tie which is yes it's got the curacao and the rum and the orange on all that stuff but let's say that you are happen to be inside my closet you might find a different type of my tie yes we're talking neck folks, and it's time for the My Tie Quiz. Wow. Nice. These are quiz questions about Tim Kalpakis' tie collection, necktie collection. And you guys are going to showdown against each other in kind of a vicious battle.

Sure. And the winner will get scratch off money. Great. I'm guessing this is a, this is a blur. Do we have to buzz in Tim? Do we have to buzz in? It's a blurter.

Blur out your answers. Okay. We didn't know. We didn't know at first, but I didn't get a clear answer. You've heard of Mai Tai, the drink, but you were, you were, there's a different type of Mai Tai. You, we were to know at first. But I didn't get a clear answer from you guys. You've heard of Mai Tai, the drink, but were you aware there's a different type of Mai Tai? We heard us say yes.

Yeah, your closet, Tim's closet of ties, neckties. Yeah, Tim's neck adornments is a different type of- I feel like you don't have a quiz, and that's why you're stalling. You're stalling, Tim. Okay, here we go. Oh, really? If you have a quiz, then where's question number one? Okay, there we go.

Shit. Question number one? Okay, there we go. Shit. Question number one. One of my ties. Yeah, nice. Looks like this musical instrument. Piano. Fuck. Michael has it.

I knew that was going to be one of the questions. I didn't think it was going to be the first question. Well, I wore it to Michael Cassidy's wedding and you wore piano suspenders and we posed for an Instagram picture. Did we not? In truth, I have to agree. Do we get any side points for saying that Ty also made an appearance in the

video for Let's Party? Yes, you got one side point. But you have to decide now. You can't just carry it in your back pocket. You have to decide now. You can't just carry it in your back pocket. You have to decide now whether or not you want to put that point into play. In this quiz. Or not.

Yeah. Okay. I would like to put it into play. Okay. Jeff has one Mike. Can I match his side point and have one too? Yes. Okay. So Jeff has one. Mike has two. Alright. He's good. I feel like I'm worse off in a way keep going tim question number two at a recent friend's wedding in santa fe bolo i infamous fuck fuck yes

see tim you had me thinking traditional tie and then already a curveball. Wow, this is an interesting quiz if I ever was in the middle of one. I should have mentioned that my tie quiz, by question number two, you're on the oddball questions. It's kind of crazy. Wow. Well, look at the quiz master. Right. Okay, question number three.

Right. Right. Yeah, totally. Okay, question number three one of my ties was designed by this jam band jay garcia wizard garcia jefferson dutton has it it's a jay garcia tie um so this is very funny i remember these ties being hot shit in the 90s i got one maybe from a from like a salvation army do you think jerry garcia were they paintings he did and they used them for ties or was that's what i thought there was some there's something like yeah but they don't look like i mean the one i

had because i had one or two in my uh you know my catholic school yeah they looked like normal ties but they were colorful like it wasn't like crazy hippie art it was like they they took crazy hippie art and they kaleidoscoped it into like more of a normal tie i remember seeing him being like this is not at all like the great the dancing bears or anything like that what is this who is this man i like the one that i have it's just like abstract art i say keep it i say keep it in the wardrobe and tim so you don't have any of these ties handy to show off to us or anything? I could. It's six feet away. I could reach and go get it.

Six feet from stardom. There's a documentary about that. Who is that? Tina Turner or something? Who is that about? It's a documentary about background singers. It's great. Okay.

Question number three. A lot of my ties. Why is it always in italics when you have to say that? Well, there was a drink called my tie. But every question. Closet. My neck adornments, Jeff. Okay.

closet. My neck adornments, Jeff. Okay. A lot of my ties are purchased for free using my MasterCard credit card points at this old legacy men's clothing store. Men's Warehouse.

J.Crew? No. Macy's. J.Crew? Gap? No. No. Men's Legacy? Hold on. Hold on. I should have said Legacy Men's Warehouse. Everyoneacy's. No. No. Men's Legacy? Hold on. Hold on. I should have said Legacy Men's World. Everyone slow down. An old company. Woolworths. You're saying department stores, but I'm talking about the brand.

Like they would have a table within a department store. Polo. A men's like Hilfiger. Tommy Hilfiger. Ralph Lauren. Okay. Here's a hint. Versace. Hold on. The ties are adorned with little international flags as well as the letters BB.

Brooks Brothers. Fuck, fuck. Brooks Brothers. Michael has four. Jeff has two. Brooks Brothers was hot shit even when I was in high school. Can you imagine? Really?

Yeah. I always think of it as like a dusty old man's store. Yeah, but it was expensive so like rich richy rich little fuckers liked it that's why you gotta get the mastercard credit points here we go to question what's the what's the current score there tim for those of us who are feeling the drink of the day mike has four and you have two I'm going to shift focus a little bit from my ties to somebody else's ties. Michael Hanford has a wonderful tie, and I have coveted it. He wore it in the IFC series, The Birthday Boys, in a sketch where he confronts his proctologist, played by Chris Elliott.

What is the aforementioned tie adorned with? Floral. Yes, it's flowers. It's a funny flowery tie that is very funny. It's a female tie from Liz Clayburn. Fun. It's got a big, it's kind of wide. Now, was it a wardrobe on the show and you kept it,

or did you previously own it? I think I owned it. I think I got it from a, oh, no, wait, that no wait that may have just been from you said it's kind of wide it's a little wider yeah oh like something like diane keaton would wear something like that yeah and hall i can't remember where i got that but i'm glad to know it's coveted i bet you got a goodwill it has that type of a vibe you know yeah um okay question number one two three four five well six in a famed old photo of us the three sloppy boys yep where we are attending the wedding of our friend eric shiner yeah in state college pennsylvania i can picture. I'm wearing a red tie. Striped. Mike is wearing a red and green plaid

tie. But what color tie is Jeff's enormous big fat tie? Blue and yellow striped. Jeff, I'm going to give it to you, but it's yellow. It's primarily yellow. With blue stripes. Okay, okay.

Jesus Christ. Well, I would say it's it's big thick yellow stripes fighting for my life in the fucking my tie quiz i that is stuck in my brain forever because it's the fattest tie it covers your whole torso it's a chubby tie it's a chubby tie okay i think that's on our instagram so yeah it's all it's a chubby tie okay i think that's on our instagram yeah it's all it's all yellow and then there's some paper thin blue stripes going through there but man that was back in the days where like we would just wear our sketch comedy suits to weddings like our friends would already be like getting married and having stable jobs and we would go to their east coast weddings in our like sketch comedy suits that have been balled up a million times.

No sense of style or fashion. And yeah, just no choices. Just be like, Oh, suit. Okay. And my one pair of dress shoes.

That was a very fancy wedding at a very nice venue. And Jeff, you it's impressive that you're wearing a suit. Me and Hanford are doing the sort of khakis and, and blazer that you do when you're wearing a suit. Me and Hanford are doing the sort of khakis and blazer look that you do when you're 22. Yeah. Okay. Final question.

Is a true or false? Okay. What's the score? I know I'm losing. Mike has one, two, three, four, five. Yeah. And Jeff, you have one, two, three. But I should mention this final question is worth 77 points.

77 points 77 points yeah so that could it could it has the potential to put either one of you up in the leaderboard position okay true or false tim knows how to tie a bow tie incorrect true false Incorrect. True. False. Jefferson Dutton is correct. Tim does not know how to. And Mike, you have one, two, three, four, five points. Jeff, you get 77 and you have 80. So Jeff wins 82-5. There's no way I can come back.

That was the last question. It's over. Damn, Tim. Nobody knows how to tie a bow tie. Mike, have you tried? I've never tried. I think my brother knows how to do it. No way.

Kyle? Yeah, I think he can do one. Because I've seen him wear them before. I had a dress code in high school, and I had to wear a tie, and I only learned the easy. I never even learned a double Windsor, just a single Windsor that's like a fast loose bad beat. I never even got to the double Windsor. I didn't have time for a double. Damn. Well, it's funny because all three of us wore ties in high school.

Is that right? Yeah, tie school. Tie high. Now that's a show we should do a show called my tie high and we're three fucking teachers and we're drunk all the time man if you read it you you're like oh there's a show called my tie high and then the long line is three teachers are drunk all the time oh it moved to Hawaii because we I don't know, we thought we could

start up a tiki bar. It flopped in our face. We can't get back home, so now we gotta figure out something and teach at the school. It's kind of the premise of Another Round, the Mads Mikkelsen movie we covered on the blowout. Very true. Teachers, drinking during the day. Sure.

It would be the American remake. Mai Tai Hai. Hollywood, when you figure this strike stuff out, we're here. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. If you can't get enough boys, or you just want to laugh so fucking hard, go to patreon.com slash The Sl boys and unlock the sloppy boys blowout

the weekly bonus episode and the monthly bonus episode questions for lennon oh yeah good episode guys that's cool great really cool yeah we were really actually funny we were on one and um i'm still very excited about this doc coming soon a feature length movie about us making a doc and here's the thing we should clarify this is not making an album

go ahead what did I say? about us making a doc now that would be good I guess the way we are it is about us making a doc because Now that would be good. It is about us making a doc because we're just doing our thing. But yes. It's not Spinal Tap, folks.

It's not a mockumentary. This is really us really recording. And we're really under the gun. And we have a week to record an album. We're really trying hard. Yeah, that's a good point to clarify that. It is like Get Back. It's more like the Beatles thing. It's more like if the Beatles were bad than

like we're clowning on rock docs. It's a real rock doc. Folks, we'll see you at the movies. Hell yeah. Bye, folks. Bye. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Hell yeah. Bye, folks. Bye. I love you.