The Sloppy Boys - 150. Mai Tai (Don the Beachcomber's version)

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

The guys try the other famous Mai Tai recipe from Trader Vic's tiki nemesis, "American adventurer" Donn Beach (born Ernest Raymond Gantt.) Celebrity podcaster Mike Mitchell also drops in.MAI TAI RECIP...E1.5oz/45ml Dark Jamaican Rum 1oz/30ml Gold Cuban Rum1oz/30ml Grapefruit Juice.5oz/15ml Cointreau.75/22ml Lime Juice.25oz/7ml Falernum6 drops Pernod1 dash AngosturaAdd all ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into an old fashioned glass filled with shaved or pebble ice. Garnish with mint sprig.Recipe via Don the Beachcomber Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm sitting here with Michael Patrick Hanford. Hello! And Timothy Jordan. Galpakis? What is up, Jordan? Jordan, like MJ, baby.
Starting point is 00:00:25 The Dunker. TJ. Ooh, swish. That must have been in the 90s. Being a 90s kid, as you are, Tim, that must have been so cool to have the middle name Jordan. It led to a lot of confusion. People would confuse the two of us quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Hey, Jordan, shouldn't you be at the Space Jam premiere? No, I'm but a boy. Oh. I'm just a boy. I don't even play basketball. I don't even own a basketball. Really? Michael Jordan doesn't own a basketball.
Starting point is 00:00:53 I'm not Michael Jordan. I probably never owned a classic orange basketball. I lived out in a rural area in upstate New York, so we had like a shed full of all sporting crap you could ever want. But we weren't a basketball family. So I had a lot of like glow-in-the-dark basketballs and small basketballs that you could palm and all kinds of things. But I don't think I ever owned one official. You like comedy basketballs. Yeah, because I grew up to be a comedy writer.
Starting point is 00:01:24 So my parents wanted to set that going early on. They were all comedy basketballs yeah because i'm a com i grew up to be a comedy writer so my parents wanted to set that going early on they were all goof basketballs we had a basketball that at our in our garage that was like very smooth and very hard it was like the old basketball yeah you sure not thinking of a bowling ball yeah you i'd throw this basketball at a pin i i remember doing uh i played like hockey and soccer and and and football as a young boy but um i remember i only i went to one basketball practice and you know how practice is we've talked about it in reference to like instruments how there's some teachers that can make it no fun but if you show a kid like yeah power chords then they have fun in their guitar and they stick with their instrument i remember with basketball like fucking fourth grade or something i went to the first practice and we were in uh in the gym and the coaches had
Starting point is 00:02:16 set up like stations where you wouldn't like you know i wanted to just like shoot the ball at the hoop kind of uh and they had set up all these stations where you learn different fundamentals. And the first one I walked up to was there was a coach like, okay, here we're going to, he took a small group of the kids because there's like 50 kids. We're going to pivot. Everyone ready to pivot. And they gave him a ball. You plant one foot, you know, because you're trying to not like double dribble or whatever.
Starting point is 00:02:41 So you plant one foot and then you, you move your, you can move your other foot around but you keep gotta keep that one foot planted and it's like we're pivoting and i was like fuck this i'm out this like i truly don't think i made it past pivot i was like i'm gonna call my dad this shit sucks oh man i am not gonna do this tim are you where are you wearing basketball jersey? What are the odds we're talking basketball? I'm wearing Jaguar basketball. This is definitely from a birthday boy sketch at some point. I don't know why I would have like a, it's like a penny. It looks reversible.
Starting point is 00:03:17 It is. It's white on the inside, maroon on the outside. That's the thing about pivoting is like, I get like that's that makes no sense like i don't nobody pivots when i watch basketball on tv is like of course they are but the kids aren't told like hey this is a big part of the game mj had a thousand pivots and you don't see though the air jordan logo it's not his silhouette uh doing a pivot and there was no i did a dunk station uh where they show me how to dunk right right right yeah of course that's like karate too like i already know how to not punch
Starting point is 00:03:54 somebody yeah i remember doing a lesson of one karate lesson and uh just like we learned the stance in the hour we were there, learned the stance and the punching. And that was it. And I wasn't hooked. And my mom asked if I wanted to keep going. I said, I don't think so. That's a great way to dissuade kids from getting into karate is send them to one lesson where you keep your fists like balled up at your sides
Starting point is 00:04:21 and you just punch straight out like a dork. Yeah. Like a dork. I did have, for some reason, I got a white belt. I got to keep the white belt. No way. Mm-hmm. I'll wear it down the street sometimes and people are like, whoa, sorry, sir.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Right this way. Don't completely chop me into oblivion. You have one lesson more than I've ever had, so you might know how to... Well, but you got to be patient with it too and use it just so. I feel like we've touched on this before, but just how disrespectful it is for our generation of dumb American boys that we just thought we could do karate. Like, you know, it's this martial art that you train your whole life. But I just thought like karate, chop, bad gotcha right right it like takes so much training to get to the level that you would see in like ninja turtles cartoons or whatever i just thought i was there i was like i'm a ninja
Starting point is 00:05:16 that's a way of life for me too pretty sure i'm a ninja oh you guys seen the ninja turtles movie that's been out for a while? You know I have. It's great. It's fucking good, man. I was laughing my ass off. Were they doing... Is it the vintage sense of humor? Like, is Michelangelo being very Mikey?
Starting point is 00:05:35 No, not really. A little bit. They're like actually teenagers. So they're just looking at TikTok on their phones the whole movie? What the fuck? I mean, they use phones. It was like very modern but anyway as i was watching i was like oh yeah a big part of the teenage mutant ninja turtles is their teenagers right instead of adult voices who eat pizza the way i was used to it yeah true i saw a bunch of stuff about seth rogan saying like
Starting point is 00:05:58 yeah the teenage part seemed like relatively unexplored for this thing that's been out for 30 years. Right. Yeah, I thought it was great. It's a smart thing to throw in there because we can't tell, when you're looking at muscly humanoid turtles, they could be any age,
Starting point is 00:06:15 but if you tell a kid that they're watching a teenager, like when you're 10, there's nothing cooler than an 18-year-old, you know? And when you're eight, there's nothing cooler than a 16-year-old. Right. And when you're eight there's nothing cooler than a 16 year old right uh-huh yeah and when you're 32 you there's nothing cooler than a 50 year old it just keeps going i i like all i'm 40 and i'm like really geeking out over 48 year olds right now i think they're so cool that'd be funny if there's like a guy who's uh
Starting point is 00:06:44 what's the oldest person in the world, like 110, and he's like, I don't think anybody's cool. Oh, come on. He just thinks of imaginary cool guys that are 118. To me, it goes all the way around, and I think a baby's cool. It goes all the way around, sir. For me, it goes all the way around. All the way around.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Fuck it, it goes all the way around. Okay the way around. It goes all the way around. Okay, fine. I think a sequoia tree is cool. Those are 500 years old, sir. I can't win. Well, keep in mind, my brain is not all there. Okay, fine.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Well, get the fuck out of here, you old geezer. Oh. Oh, man. You old weezer geezer. Get you a home. Of all the Weezer geezer. Get you a hug. Of all the Weezer songs to sing, an album cut from Pinkerton. Also, the way he wagged his finger like an old man.
Starting point is 00:07:35 That really sold me on that. That was an acting move for me to get me into the voice. Get you a hug. Finger wagging. All right. Do you guys feel caught up with your boys i feel good and caught up now i can we can move on in our journey yeah sure oh also i'll say that it was very charming how donatello's whoever played donatello they found him like firmly in the grasp of puberty his voice is cracking the whole movie. It's very funny. There was a moment in the movie, I won't explain the whole movie,
Starting point is 00:08:07 but the four turtles are like, just kind of hanging out, doing something, they're talking to April, and all four of them are being like, silly teenage kids. Yes. And it's just like,
Starting point is 00:08:18 oh man, that is exactly how teenage kids, hey, they just like, all go off at the same time, and they're excited about shit. They're talking over each other, showing off and stuff.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Yeah. So it was good. Enough turtle talk, though. Yeah. It's time for Booze News. Hit it. What is up? Tim, Mike and Jefferson D.
Starting point is 00:08:39 What you gonna drink this day? Can't you just tell it to me? It's Booze News. What is up? Tim, Mike, and Jefferson D. It's Booze News. What you gonna drink this time? Can't you just tell it to me?
Starting point is 00:08:56 It's Booze News. So I got that going for me, which is nice. Theme from Sloppy Shack was sent to us by Red, a.k.a. Danny Noonan on the Discord. How appropriate. That's great. Subscribe to our Patreon if you want access to the Discord so you can chop it up with Danny
Starting point is 00:09:15 Noonan and the other Slopheads. And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com. Nice. Dan, that was good. I'm not used to being called Jefferson. Jefferson D. Not in the modern era. Not unless I'm in deep trouble. at gmail.com nice damn that was good i'm not used to being called jefferson jefferson d not not in the modern era not unless i'm in deep trouble i feel like i used to call you jefferson a lot now you these days you're duds or my little daddy buddy oh yeah thank you thank you the jd very few people will insist on no i like jefferson well i remember you saying that
Starting point is 00:09:43 your your mom back like when you were like a but a church boy people call you jeff and you say his name is jefferson i would get a phone call and they'd say hey oh is jeff there and i would hear her say his name is jefferson oh mortifying is jeff there it's raf i want to see if he wants to meet up with me, Mikey, Donatello, and Leonardo. Donnie just fixed the pizza thrower. I love in this song, though, I love how Tim, Mike, Jefferson D. As lyricists, the three of us know the feeling of trying to get something to fit. And you're like, I could call him Jeff.
Starting point is 00:10:23 No, I'll call him jefferson d when something hit fits that when you're writing a song or a parody song and something fits and you're just like oh awesome that's great i don't have to make some weird phrase uh going to jefferson going back to jefferson i was uh we all know ben axelrod buddy of ours sure front of the pot we were uh actually we saw the turtles movie together and we were walking around in uh outside the theater and this guy walked by who was like tall taller than you jeff thinner than you but like had longer blonde hair and like i pointed him out to to uh ben because i was like hey look it's uh rich jeff dutton because he had like linen pants on and like nice sunglasses and a nice like blue kind of flowy shirt. Did you snap a pic?
Starting point is 00:11:08 No, I tried to. But Ben was like, that's a guy who really should be called Jefferson Dutton. He like put the Jefferson in Jeff Dutton. He lives up to the name. You bequeath the name to him. Here you go. You've earned it. I've been doing that a lot i've been seeing a lot of versions of people that i saw uh you saw a fake out dave ferguson yeah this guy was so close to ferg i couldn't believe it that was great i i saw a fake out ferg the other
Starting point is 00:11:37 day and i wanted to take a picture so i could text it to you guys on that same chain and then this guy kind of clocked me taking getting a little too excited to see him and turning around with my phone and i i had to act like i was just checking my stocks they're up down oh um you guys want to hear today's booze news yes please uh sent to me by danny t on instagram um this is a recent article from the New York Times. The new look in cocktails? Layers and stripes. Really? Layers and stripes in cocktails. So not
Starting point is 00:12:14 on the runways of Milan. No, that's all checkers and polka dots. Not in your wardrobe, but in your glass? In your liquid, shape-shifting liquid drink. Layers and stripes. Yes, in your liquid, shape-shifting liquid drink. Layers and stripes. Yes, in your wet, wet, watery receptacles.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Before you go on, before you go on, Tim, how many of you remember 1, 2, 3 Jell-O? Not me. I can picture it, but I don't think I've ever had it. It was Jell-O that had three layers. I don't think I've ever had it. It was Jell-O that had three layers. A classic Jell-O, like a lighter version, and then like a foam on top. It was like three layers of Jell-O.
Starting point is 00:12:54 A foam. Like a pudding, you mean? Or like a flan? Like a meringue up top. Tim, go ahead. Is it something that you liked or it just existed? Or was it big in the Dutton household? I remember wanting it and then tasting it and being like, I think I just like Jell-O.
Starting point is 00:13:12 Mom, I think I just like Jell-O. I thought you would, Jefferson, so I got you orange. Yeah, you texted it. You looked up at your parents. You said, Mom, Dad, this is a fail. Post your L, Dad. No flying the W for you. So this is Layers and Stripes.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Are you guys seeing this? Because I feel like it is ringing a bell. We're talking about floaters. Oh. And we're talking about sinkers. Sinker is when you pour something, a heavy thing that sinks down to the bottom of your drink, like a tequila sunrise.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Yeah, the sinker doesn't get the love that the floater gets. Yeah. Hey, here's a heavy, dense thing. Check it out. Can I get a Coke with a whiskey sinker? Ooh, this sinker is a stinker. It's the same thing, just like you're pouring the Amari or whatever it is. If it's heavy, it goes down the bottom.
Starting point is 00:14:11 It's a sinker. If it's light, it stays up top like the Grand Marnier in a Cadillac Margarita. Beautiful. That there is a floater. I'm looking at this. The article lists a bunch of places in Brooklyn. It mentions Bad Roman in Manhattan. And then all across the country, we're talking about hip spots and brunchy drinks and stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Flashing colors and stripes and gradients. Jeff, you're a fan of the gradient. Oh, I love a gradient. Ooh, I love a gradient. You think a tequila sunrise is in this world? Mm-hmm. Yes, Mike. Nice. I mean, I think that's kind of the OG.
Starting point is 00:14:48 And then these are all the drinks mentioned in the article are sort of like new concoctions. But it feels like the tequila sunrise is almost like the icon that you're chasing. The North Star. But it made me also think about our beloved Bramble. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. How the hell? What in the fuck?
Starting point is 00:15:13 What's the meaning of this? Okay, for the listener, Mike Mitchell just came into the chat. This is unprecedented. You think you can record an episode about Mai Tais without Mai Tai Mitch? Damn! Damn! We told him last episode, we said Mitch was the guy who would, I think, have Mai Tais. He's an ordering guy.
Starting point is 00:15:37 And we got a lot of heat for not bringing in Mitch last episode. And here we are. We got lambasted in the press. You think your boy's not going to talk about my ties for a few minutes with you? For a few minutes. No, stay the hour. Just a few minutes. I was told just a few minutes.
Starting point is 00:15:57 49? Maybe a little less. As I live and breathe, we got Twisted Metal's own Mike Mitchell right here. That's right. Wow. Congrats on the show, Mitch. You're a star. Thank you, Catman.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Yeah, congrats on the show. You're great on it. And let me tell you, if there was no Mai Tais in the post-apocalypse, I wouldn't want to live. That's how I feel about them. Hey, spoiler alert. Oh, this is a post-apocalypse? Yeah, people who don't want to even look at the trailer poster. All right, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I was going to say it would be weird if there was an apocalypse and there were Mai Tais. And if that were the only drink that had survived is a very complicated old tea. Tim, you know that it's an easy drink to make. It's not that hard. Mitch. Well, it's not that hard mitch well it's a it's a it's uh do you in your liquor cabinet actually for you i've been in your kitchen it's a counter it's a corner of the counter with a lot of great liquor options do you have uh like curacao and does the fridge have orgeat or do you have
Starting point is 00:16:59 all that how do you do it because there's a lot of different ones the simple the one that i've probably have you gotten into the talk of my ties yeah or am i jumping the gun this is the second episode of my ties so because we did one last year now last week and now we're doing a new variation on it not new but just different we last week we did the classic we used the the international bartenders association recipe and then we were like, it was like trader Vic style. It was trader Vic style. And then we were like, Hey,
Starting point is 00:17:28 maybe next we'll do the trader Vic original. And then we looked up and we're like, no, it was pretty much what we did. So we're about to do the Don, the beach Comer original, which is because they had a rivalry, but this is an entirely different ingredients.
Starting point is 00:17:41 But I think when people say my tie, they're thinking of the trader Vic one one with Orgeat and Curacao. I got that dry Curacao, which is great. You're making them at home, Mitch? Yeah. I can make them at home. I can make them pretty decent. I did not expect that.
Starting point is 00:17:58 I've got a bunch of different rums. Catman, you saw a few of them when you were... Catman's got the Mai Tai eye. That's what I call it.man's got the Mai Tai eye. That's what I call it. He's got a Mai Tai eye. You can see it when you look at my face. Prowling the room. Mai Tai.
Starting point is 00:18:16 You saw the rums on my table. Actually, you know what? I should go see what I have and I'll bring back – I wonder if I have successful ingredients for Mai Tai. I'll be right back. I'm going to check. Success. Successful. Let'm going to check. Success. Successful. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Talk amongst yourselves. Yeah, we got to wrap up Booze News. All right, that's it for Booze News. Great. Also, Mitch, it was so funny. You said, okay, I'm going to go to the kitchen and get my rums. You're sitting on your couch. You left out the screen one way
Starting point is 00:18:45 and then and then two set you're off the screen and then two seconds later you were behind the couch walking you did a full pass through the frame again because the way your sectional couch works you had to walk away from the kitchen go behind the couch but it was a real cartoonish like pass by like you were gonna do an austin powers bit like a first of all who sanctioned this uh mitchell coming on the show what was what is this mitch i you were angrily trying at just random video conference rooms until you found our meeting i've been in a bunch of zen caster rooms they're like no we're making the scorpion here oh fuck cool i'm looking for the
Starting point is 00:19:27 my time i was on the cat was that the cat ranch for a second oh yeah all the different podcasts you stopped by smartless yeah i was on smartless i was on wtf i was on the joe rogan experience for oh jre that's big and let me tell, he's got some good ideas. Wait a minute. I grabbed every MyTie-related booze except I left some Myers Dark Rum over there. I didn't grab every single bit of booze.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Real quick, Mitch, what are you watching? Honestly, just in the background, I'm not watching it as Zombieland 2 Double Tap. Just for my view, it looks exactly I'm not watching it as Zombieland 2 double tap. Okay. Just for my view, it looks exactly like you're watching it because your eyes are going back and forth on a screen behind your computer. And it's flashing on your face. I'm not watching it, but it does add light to the room.
Starting point is 00:20:16 It just was on in the background on mute. I know. I'm fugly. This is the post credits. Al Roker has just turned into a zombie and bill murray is uh is uh is is fighting zombies oh they got him back well i'm sorry i asked keep going they got him back he comes he came back for oh jeff i didn't know i thought you were saying like he's he's back he's like out of trouble no no no he's still in trouble because it was like a cameo in the first one it's weird to then have
Starting point is 00:20:42 this surprise cameo be like yeah and he's in this yeah he's at the end of of two uh i believe i mean from what i'm seeing right here it looks like he's if my eyes aren't deceiving me it looks like they got him for more than a day spoiler alert this is a big this is murray is like really fighting zombies here at the Garfield three, uh, premier or something. Oh my God. Uh, anyway, I got, uh, I got, I got some boozes here. This is Tim.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I think you're going to like some of these. What about his friend, Jeff? Yeah. Jeff and Mike, Jeff and Mike Hanford. Don't have to worry about it. Uh, but Tim should be,
Starting point is 00:21:16 I told you, Tim's got the, my tie. Oh, Tim's the chugger. Tim's got the, my tie. You're such a fan of Tim.
Starting point is 00:21:24 We all know you looked up to him Mai Tai on. Tim does this. You're such a fan of Tim. What does that say? You looked up to him in college, and now it's this. We didn't. Well, I didn't know Mitch in college, but he knew of me because I was sort of a big fan of him. Jesus Christ. And it's lasted all this. Tim, is it okay if I have this type of booze in my liquor cabinet?
Starting point is 00:21:39 You know what you got? What? Brown eye. What does that mean? Eye for shit? It means butthole, doesn't it? Yeah, but I think we all got that. Mitch, you're still very loud.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Can you turn down just a little bit? I came down a little bit. What a fancy mic. Oh, look at that microphone. It was all like touch. This is a Shure. Shure microphone. I'm sure it is.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Mike Shure. Yeah. It'm sure it is. Mike sure. It's hard to, if you work in show business, there's Mike sure. There's sure. Mike's confusing for certain people. Did this come, did it come down when I did that? It did. Okay. A little bit.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Okay. Mitch, tell us before you show us the rums you have, you said you didn't bring Myers over me and Jeff. We're just talking Myers earlier today. What do you think of Myers dark Jamaican rum? I like it. Were you guys bad-mouthing it? Because I think it's great.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I mean, look, with your topper, this is your floater in the Mai Tai, right? With your dark rum. That's a go-to floater in a lot of things for me. Yeah. I mean, when I'm thinking about the classic mai tai a lot do some of them don't even call for i call myself the mai tai guy now i'm asking you guys questions that they don't even they don't a lot of them don't even ask for the floater right like that's only in some yeah last week's i didn't think haven't no but all the recipes we're seeing
Starting point is 00:23:00 across the board have two rums one's gold one's dark so there's always dark in the mix uh for the most actually no that's not even true of last week so i'm talking about my ass but i i quite commonly see the dark floater on top mitch but it's not in either of trader vick or donna beachcomber's original recipes look a floater with rum not too bad a floater with rum, not too bad. A floater when you go into the bathroom. What do you care what it's doing in there? No, that's the worst. Once it's outside of you, why do you give a shit? Why is it?
Starting point is 00:23:41 What's with a floater? What happens there? It's like you ate, you had too much cotton candy. Yeah, you ate too much air. Or eat too much helium. Mitch, if I could just swing this away from the turd talking into back to the Mai Tai. When did you start drinking these? What's your history?
Starting point is 00:24:01 When did you say, oh, this is a Mitchie fave? Look, I drank illegally when I was younger. start drinking these what's your history when did you say oh this is a mitchy fave i'm look i drank illegally when i was younger but having like a mixed i think that there was a combo of a thing of like my mom and dad being like try this tropical drink and being like oh this is like i don't like booze when i'm little but this is like close close enough to something i like and then as soon as i probably when I was like 21 or look we all I think everyone's first introduction to Mai Tais is like more like a jungle juice right that's that's I mean like that's like the gateway I'm I was picturing like you were on
Starting point is 00:24:37 you were on vacation somewhere and try one's like oh I'm gonna see if these around in my real life I think that that was Hanford probably like I went to Aruba when I was a senior in college, and I feel like I had some Mai Tais then and liked them. But I always liked rum. I was always a rum. I've always been a big rum fan. I think it's my favorite booze. That's good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Nice. Does anyone ever do rum shots? I guess there's like rum types of rum, like mix shots or something. Yeah, I feel like college kids, like idiots, yeah. But you don't just like, give me a shot of rum like mix shots or something yeah i like feel like college kid like idiots yeah but you don't you don't just like give me a shot of rum captain morgan's was big there was sort of a bacardi era when we were in college uh around the time of that song it was like girls are on the way with a bacardi yet hey but i don't feel like people do rum and gin are not uh shot shooters i feel like gin even maybe i would have a shot of more when i was young like i i feel like that's funny to say because i feel
Starting point is 00:25:33 like i wouldn't know i would love to see what i ordered in college i'm sure that i ordered shots of bullshit like that but vodka and tequila and whiskey vodka shots i feel like we're more like my first introduction of shots it's like we got vodka that one of the whiskey vodka shots i feel like we're more like my first introduction of shots it's like we got vodka that one of the cheapest things but i like mitch the speaking of you ordering things and bringing it back to the mai tai you as a mai tai enthusiast you're pretty bold about ordering mai tais like i order a mai tai at a tiki bar and it's it's my favorite tiki drink and i wear them a lot i feel like i've been sitting with you at a normal restaurant and then it's just there's no cocktail menu and they say sir tim what would you like to drink i said i'll have a budweiser and then
Starting point is 00:26:13 mitch what would you like to drink and go do you do mai tai and i've seen you get them made for you you know at birds a chicken restaurant uh they've They've made you like a big orange juicy juice bomb Mai Tai. A rooster walks across the bar with a drink on its back right up to me. That's what, for people who didn't go to Bird's, that was their thing. They had live roosters. There's feathers in this damn drink. Tim, you're right. I am not a Mai Tai snob.
Starting point is 00:26:48 I'll try any attempt at a Mai Tai because that is basically the break. Probably the Mai Tai that I tried first is like one that had orange juice in it. Those are also technically, I guess, Mai Tais of like orange juice and what? Pineapple juice and rum. That's probably what made me fall in love with it. A lot of house Mai Tais. Places will be like, there's our house Mai Tai and then our Trader Vic. And the house usually has pineapple juice in it or orange juice or something like that.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Oh, and you know what? The house always wins. Yeah. No, he you know what? The house always wins. Yeah. No, he's right. Hell. Yeah. And when it comes to Fox on Thursday nights in the early 2000s,
Starting point is 00:27:38 house always wins. Yeah, the demo. The demo. The demographic. Tim and I were running around that Fox lot back when the house was king. House was king. Yeah, I met Hugh Laurie because I brought James L. Brooks' script to him for him to read. And then he went in his trailer and he was like, I'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:27:59 And then he came back in like 10 minutes and I was like, dude, you didn't fucking read the whole feature. You just read your lines. Get your little British butt back up there and read the whole thing did you know i was a sketch comedian before this i'll tell james okay uh and for me uh a house truck a truck from the show house delivering a piece of medical equipment i think like an mri machine that they used on they used like real medical equipment uh tore off my bumper and then it was in my car for for like a year if you that's what that was yes i do remember to have your bumper in your in your back seat for a while yeah that's it went it went from the back seat basically into the front seat it was like yeah it actually went from the trunk into the back seat almost into the front seat it was it was did they pay for that yeah eventually but it was like a huge pain in the ass and cost
Starting point is 00:28:54 me money it was one of those things where it was like i truly got fucked over bad because of it did it move did the bumper move from the trunk to the back seat because there were so many birthday boy sketch props in the trunk that there was no room anymore? 100%. I think it was a divider between wigs and wardrobe. That was a black hole of props. It was a huge pain in the ass, and it took me so long to get it fixed, of course. And the car was parked when it happened.
Starting point is 00:29:25 And then I do remember, I think I kicked Hugh Laurie's ass. What are you, what is the meaning of this? Ouch. I'm trying to read a script, young man. But Tim, I'm with you in the, I mean, my favorite type
Starting point is 00:29:44 is like a good tiki, a good tiki bar Mai Tai. And let me tell you, I went to the Tiki Tea recently, and I feel like people can be tough on Tiki Tea and be like – I was with my mom and sister. I mean – Oh, newcomers. Okay. Yeah. Look, I even think that Tiki Tea can have days where the drinks are great and then days where the drinks are not as good.
Starting point is 00:30:09 There's too many ways to fuck it up. There's too many stops on the fuck it up train. Yeah, it's not welcoming. It's one of the best bars in the world, even though it's annoying to even get into. Yes. I just mean a Tiki drink in general has so many ingredients that one thing could flip it off. It's such the gold standard for Tiki that my brain doesn't work. I feel like if whatever they do is correct, then I'm just like, I guess I don't like a painkiller.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Or I guess I don't like a scorpion. And then if you don't like the vibe, you're like, I guess I don't like tiki bars. To me, that's the thing. But last time I was there, they knocked it out of the park. That's where I got this hat., they knocked it out of the park. That's where I got this hat. They really knocked it out of the park. I went to Tiki No not too long ago, and I actually had a pretty good Mai Tai there, too.
Starting point is 00:30:53 I like Tiki No. That's a great place up in the valley, right? I like it, too, but it is so much more of a bar. It's more of a bar than a Tiki bar, I feel like. Okay. I'm saying it is so much more of a place where people are going to go and have beers. And you can get tiki drinks too.
Starting point is 00:31:11 And it does have tiki theme. It just feels like a place where you're going to get a lot of... That's true. If you go to Tonga Room... Oh, sorry. It's at Tonga Hut. Tonga Hut. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:22 If you go to Tonga Hut and you go to Tiki Tea, those are two places where like... Those are the hardcore ones where they don't care about anything else. Yeah. Yes. I don't even know if you can get beers in Tiki Tea. I don't think you can. At Tiki Tea, there's kind of a funny thing they have there. It's like there's one can
Starting point is 00:31:39 of beer that's been there since the 80s and it's like, nobody orders this. Or you have to drink it. The price keeps going up. It's like a can of Corona for $30 and they're like it's the last beer. Yeah and I mean I'm getting a Mai Tai anyways but I like the classic Mai Tai and Tim and the rest
Starting point is 00:31:56 he just has the thank you. He's got the Mai Tai eye. Who sanctioned this? Not even Tim. Well I guess that kind of narrows it down it was you mike oh dry curacao very nice yeah baby that's good stuff oh i like that i like that what's the name of that brand that stuff's so good pierre ferrand how do you say it here i'm gonna show you yeah pierre ferrand pierre ferrand that's like, people act like Curacao and Triple Sec are interchangeable,
Starting point is 00:32:27 but when you get that fancy, dry, Frenchy stuff, it really is dry and it really is delicious. Is it like the way vermouth can be dry? Like that same kind of taste? I have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh, no, it doesn't taste like vermouth, but it's just drier, less sweet. Ah. Remember Pierre Bernard and his recliner of rage?
Starting point is 00:32:46 Yeah. On Conan. You got a recliner of rage. Was that Conan out here in LA or when he was in New York? No, I think that was New York. Dawn of the Dead remake is on. Duts. Nice.
Starting point is 00:33:00 You got the zombie eye. Tim doesn't like zombie movies. He doesn't want to watch them. Tim! I love zombie movies. Zombie doesn't like zombie movies. He doesn't want to watch them. Tim! I love zombie movies. Zombie movies are laughably bad. Last week, I pitched watching Night, Dawn, and Day in October, and they poo-pooed me, Mitch.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Can you believe that? We didn't poo-poo. We said, why don't we do four movies? You can curate. Tim poo-pooed. Tim poo-pooed. Well, Tim, he's playing his character. I would have done it if you had pitched a fourth movie, but to say, hey, it's zombie movie month, and we're watching three zombie movies all month.
Starting point is 00:33:29 What the fuck's wrong with you? All right, we'll do four. We'll do four. That's what I'm saying, Jeff. Just curate a movie month. All right, all right. I pitched Hubie Halloween, and you shit all over me. I also can't.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Mitch is so loud, I'm turning him down, and now I can't hear you guys. I'm cutting over everybody. You got to keep touching that fancy mic. It's adjusted itself. It wants me to be louder. I turn it down more. The star of the show.
Starting point is 00:33:54 It's AI, man. I think that you, Jeff, you could watch all of the Romero. I mean, you could just watch all the Romero. Yeah, I don't want to watch Land of the Dead. What about One Cut of the Dead, a new one? Ooh, that's a good one. One cut of the dead. One cut is deeper. Day of the Dead. What about One Cut of the Dead, a new one? Ooh, that's a good one. One cut of the dead, one cut is deeper.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Day of the Dead is my favorite Romero. That's the best one. Anyway. When do they go into the mall? I used to be a dawn guy, and now I'm a day guy. Day's the best one. It is, it is, it is. Next bottle, please.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Yeah, next bottle, please. Next bottle, please. Angrily, next bottle. I got some Orjot. This is from Liquid Alchemist. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, baby. It's not my favorite of all the Orjets I've had, but it's still okay.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Yeah. That's a good one. I think in general, it's the nuttier, the better. And you can see by the top of that bottle, the fact that it's congealed a bit. That's a good sign. It means it's a nutty one. Yeah, we got some nut up top. Mitchell.
Starting point is 00:34:48 There's your floater. We're dealing with some. Look at that. It's clear. And then we got some nut right at the top. Oh, brother. Oh, God. That or John isn't even open.
Starting point is 00:34:59 This man's never made a Mai Tai in his home in his life. Now, Hanford, I got three different rums, honestly, here. I'm not a rum guy. Talk to these guys. You wanted to be included, and now... Ooh, that one's real nice. Hold it up. What is that?
Starting point is 00:35:16 Ooh, it's got a rope around it. This is Plantation Jamaican Rum, and this is... I've heard of that. This is Zamaica Special Dry. X-A-Y-M-A-C-A. rum and this is i've heard of that this is zameca special dry uh x a y m a c a right so this is like a gold or an amber rum that looks great that's cool with it's got like a roll product and it looks like you you caught it with a net is that how you got it yeah i caught it with a net it comes with in a decorative net it was floating by your house you don't have a lot of snare traps
Starting point is 00:35:43 around your house. Hurricane Hillary, I was fishing for some bottles going by. That's what I got. I haven't opened this yet. I actually haven't. I have three. I mean, I guess we should probably try. I told you that my plan was, Catman, when we did the lineup, i told you my plan was to do a mai tai tasting
Starting point is 00:36:07 um because this is another plantation rum and this is isle of fiji another one i caught in the hurricane looks fun another amber gold fella it's a big step up for fiji usually they're just making water but now they're making amber rum it was the only two drinks in fiji he still got it um and finally this is the big one this is this is the big boy this is the big one appleton estate eight reserve it's the hard one to get oh yes oh mitch all throwing down the big bucks for the for the reserve. Me and Jeff are drinking Signature, which is about half the price of that stuff. That is really, if you want to taste a Ketiki bar, that's the secret.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Appleton Estates, that fancy shit. I did see somebody was recommending for today's drink Bacardi 8, and I couldn't come across it. Bacardi 8, and I couldn't come across it. I did find Bacardi 10, which I almost got, but I did pivot right back to the Appleton because it's just so tiki-friendly. Pivot like me on the basketball court. So people like Bacardi 8, eh? That would be a substitute for it.
Starting point is 00:37:22 It was like a good substitute for this. For the dark room? Yeah, we haven't even gotten into the recipe yet. Oh, yeah. Maybe we should do that. We got to make these things. I want to drink these. Yeah, we got to make them.
Starting point is 00:37:31 I mean, I have a whole history of Don the Beachcomber and the whole, and the drink. Do I do that or do I skip it or whatever? You're going to bore Mitch? Well, Mitch, are you making the drink with us? No, let me hear. I want to hear. I know, but are you making the drink too? I may. Maybe I'll try to make one.
Starting point is 00:37:48 I mean, I don't know. I think your volume's loud because you're shouting. I need limes, right? That's the big thing is I need some limes. Yeah. I mean, it's a thing. I have lime juice, but man. Perfect. It's not going to be as good. No, it's not. There you go. Like roses?
Starting point is 00:38:03 Roses like the the the bottle yeah hey that'll work it'll be like an 80s mai tai that's fine um i want to play for okay i'm gonna i'm gonna i was gonna talk for a long time about don the beachcomber and trader vick and their debacle over who invented the mai tai i'm gonna skip it but i do have one thing i want to play which is a tape i brought and uh and this would be educational and even mitch will be interested in this two minute tape hit it nice what is up cal pk here uh reporting live on the scene in hollywood i'm gonna go see where the original don the beachcomber was um right now uh I'm standing on the corner of Hollywood Boulevard
Starting point is 00:38:47 and Mcadden Mcadden Place is where the store was so I'm on the north side of Hollywood when I when I look East I'm seeing kind of like over there would be like Musso and Frank which you may know from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and this this is kind of the stretch that they drive, Cliff Booth and Dalton, Rick Dalton drive through here. Like, you would recognize this apartment building. It's a Scientology building, but it's in the movie. I'm across from the Egyptian Theater, and right next to it, Mr. Tempo,
Starting point is 00:39:21 which used to be the Pig and Whistle. And below that was Cloak and Dagger, where Middle Ditch did his swinging. And when I look to the west, I see the center of Hollywood, El Capitan, the Disney Theater. And, you know, where Jimmy Kimmel live shoots. But directly here on the corner of McAdden and Hollywood Boulevard is none other than a Starbucks where they sell sous vide egg bites. And, hey, there's a Taco Bell cantina. We should go there for the pod because they serve tequila. Okay, I'm rounding the corner at the Museum of Illusions, which is one of these kind of fake museums nobody cares about.
Starting point is 00:40:00 And I'm looking up at McHatton Place. And folks, as expected with everything in L.A. that is now gone, it is luxury apartments. It says, it's like a big cube. And it says beautiful apartments now leasing. Whack. So that's at 1722. There's kind of, there's a little empty lot here at 1720. And then at 1724 is the apartment. So somewhere around here was a dope little hideaway. This is cool because you're very close to the middle of Hollywood during the big Hollywood golden age years, but you're kind of
Starting point is 00:40:42 tucked away in a little back alley and then after two years they moved across the street here to uh was 1727 and that is luxury apartments beautiful square cube buildings um and what's so funny about these luxury apartments and everything in hollywood is like i don't care when stuff gets, it's like, oh, old stuff goes away and new stuff comes. But who's buying and leasing these apartments? Who, to have enough money to live in the center of Hollywood, but to be stupid enough to want to live in the center of Hollywood takes a real fucking moron type of a person. Okay, back to the studio. okay back to the studio so on that very spot in 1933 the day after prohibition ended don the beachcomber opened the first tiki bar ever wow and now we are going to make his mai tai recipe
Starting point is 00:41:37 not trader vick's mai tai recipe that came out of oakland 10 later, but listen to the recipe that his widow eventually shared because he was very secretive. One ounce gold rum, one and a half ounce dark rum, one ounce grapefruit juice, three quarters of an ounce lime juice, half an ounce Cointreau or triple sec, a quarter ounce falernum. We have some of that from when we made zombies it's a classic weirdo clovey dawn beach ingredient um six drops of pernode which tastes like black licorice uh dash of angostura bitters mint sprig to garnish place all ingredients except mint in a cocktail shaker filled with ice shake well and pour unstrained into a double old-fashioned glass garnish with fresh mint so it's very different guys it's got grapefruit and falernum instead of or shot fuck i don't have
Starting point is 00:42:36 mint i don't have mint god damn it neither do i uh mitch i just sent you last week's recipe in case that gets you any closer to the hole i think i could make last week's recipe in case that gets you any closer to the hole. I think I could make last week's recipe. Oh, nice. By the way, just an update. Thomas Middleditch also in Zombieland double tap. Perfect. And Jeff, they just played the intro to Dawn of the Dead, which is a great, the remake. It's the best part, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:03 What year is that from? At Hanford, I saw the preview for, they showed the entire intro preview on cable. I believe maybe after like a WWE show. Uh-huh. And I watched it in the Emerson Suites. Ah. At Ithaca with Matt Grano. And I think you came and got dinner with us.
Starting point is 00:43:21 So 2004, maybe? 2003? That's wild specific memory interesting what now was that the one where they it's it starts in a mall uh it ends up in a mall gotcha okay i'm all clooney uh yeah um one of my internships in la was at strike entertainment which was a short-lived production company but they have a credit on Dawn of the Dead. And now we're striking! That's right. Hanford! It's how it works.
Starting point is 00:43:47 It's very cyclical. Very cyclical. Wow! I also want to give one shout-out to a drink I used to make back in the day that's probably Mai Tai inspired, in a way. Can I say it? Yeah. The Hurricane Mitch? That's right, Dutz.
Starting point is 00:44:03 I remember that. What is it? It's right, Dutz. I remember that. What is it? It's orange juice and what? Rum and orange juice? It's Captain Morgan's and orange juice, right? Captain Morgan's, orange juice, and ice. That's good. I can make one of those right now.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I got the ingredients. Hanford, I think you'll love it. No, that should be its own episode. We should have you back. We'll do that for real. Yeah, we should do that sometime. Yeah, that's great. We'll do another.
Starting point is 00:44:23 We go to Mitch's house and get trashed. We'll do another lineup, too. Another lineup? Jesus Christ. Why not? Just treating lineups like it's like, yeah, we'll have some Hurricane Mitches. Maybe we'll have a few lineups as well. I got a friend out here. You guys know him.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Tommy McNamara. He listens to the podcast. He's a comedian out here. Funny guy. He wants to do a lineup. He's also on my summer basketball team. And we're like, okay, after this one game at, you know, we had a 10 o'clock in the morning game. I was like, let's do it.
Starting point is 00:44:54 I got nothing to do all day. And we're like, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. We're going to do lineups at 11 o'clock in the morning. And he got to the game and I was hung over for the game. And like, I could, he was late. I could tell he had a night out too. And we didn't talk about the whole game.
Starting point is 00:45:07 And afterwards I was like, so what do you think about this lineup thing? He's like, ah, you know, if we didn't do it today, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. So we haven't done it yet. Doing it after some sort of physical activity. And I think it's a good way to do it. But we were like, we got to go eat like a whole pizza and then go do it. So we were just like on fumes from playing basketball.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Also, we realized it'd probably be like $100 at a bar to do one of those. Yeah, it's not unexpensive. Alright, well should we do it? Should we make it? Yeah, let's go do it and folks, why don't you sit tight and listen to these ads and we'll be right back
Starting point is 00:45:43 after this. Does our jet go bad now we're back let's see him michael michael get here beautiful iconic oh jeff with the garnishes. Looking nice. Ooh, a little tajin pineapple up top. Mine looks a little bit cloudy. We all look the same. Even though Mitch had a different recipe,
Starting point is 00:46:13 we all have sort of a plum-colored cloudy duck sauce. Yeah, mine looks like cider. Yeah, duck sauce is the better. Hey, speaking of duck sauce, I knew that crab rangoon was invented at a tiki bar it's it's not like uh it was it's invented at a trader vicks um it's not an authentic dish but i just learned that don the beachcomber invented the poo-poo platter wow wow really yep that's like solid east coast chinese food east coast american chinese food or at least from my perspective he
Starting point is 00:46:46 traveled the south pacific then when he came to inventing drinks he was kind of biting the uh the planters punch from jamaica but then when it came to food he was kind of do just like doing like americanized chinese food it's a it's a funny amalgamation i mean it's funny too because i think a lot of us discovered tiki drinks through Americanized Chinese food. Like there's no real reason why the Maple Garden in London, Nary, New Hampshire would serve Mai Tais, but they did. Jeff, that's almost every East Coast. I mean, not every, but so many East Coast Chinese food restaurants are also tiki bars.
Starting point is 00:47:19 That is- Carrying the torch for tiki. Yeah. It's funny that it's more than- We had that too. Eng's in Kingston was like the old Chinese restaurant and it had a full tiki yeah it's it's funny that it's more than we had that too engs in kingston was like the old uh chinese restaurant and it had a full tiki menu and but i've read articles saying like nationwide that happens but it is like mostly a new england thing that like that the chinese restaurants have the tiki staples yeah i love it mike's
Starting point is 00:47:43 buried in his mobile he's mike's late getting back from making the dream. Hello! And now he's looking at tweets and Twitter and everything. I'm tweets, I'm twittering, and I'm getting on X, and I'm getting on threads. If you like tweets, you gotta get on X. Hey, did you guys find it weird to shake? I had crushed ice, and it said to shake with crushed ice.
Starting point is 00:48:03 When you put crushed ice in a shaker, it dilutes to water. I heard that too, Jeff. I heard it too. Do you guys think it's weird to shit? I mean, that was my next question. Is it weird to shit? Yes. I did it with regular.
Starting point is 00:48:18 I shook with regular ice and then poured it into crushed ice. Yeah, I just did regular. I got a Mai Tai Pho Pa. I wasn't able to into crushed ice. Yeah, I just did regular. I got a Mai Tai Pho Pa. I wasn't able to crush my ice. So I got full cubes. Me too. Full cubes. I have a bag of crushed ice,
Starting point is 00:48:35 pebble ice in my fridge for this very occasion. Oh, Mike, nice garnish. What you got there? I know I didn't have any mint, but I put a little cherry on top there. Hamford, yours looks more pink than ours. Yeah, it's because of the... This is common on the show, Mitch.
Starting point is 00:48:48 It's because... Because of the brain size of the mixologist. It's the ingredients I put in. That's what makes it pink. It's the pink grapefruit. I think I put extra grapefruit juice because I like it. You mentioned duck sauce, Tim. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:04 First of all, I could drink a whole glass of duck sauce. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. But they don't got duck sauce on the West Coast like they do on the East Coast. Yeah. It's different. You got to order some. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:15 In Boston, the duck sauce is, from my memory, is more of a- Brown. Probably a corn syrup. Yeah. Brown. But it's not a thick it's not like applesauce right i'm picturing like mott's applesauce oh oh okay but but hey i don't know it's just this is again uh maple garden london area new hampshire out here what you get is you
Starting point is 00:49:38 get the you get the the the pink duck sauce that's like that's that's what the it's like a sweet and sour it's like it's the sweet and sour sauce i agree and that's like, that's, that's what the, it's like a sweet and sour. It's like, it's the sweet and sour sauce. I agree. And that's bad. I want, I want that plummy,
Starting point is 00:49:50 plummy ducks. Yeah. I want that tan lumpy one. Plummy, plummy ducky. All right. Can we do some sips? Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:55 And let's hear Mitch's review first. Cause he's having a trader Vic and then we're having Don beach. So I looked at that bartender's the, what is that website? I sent you the, the IBA list that we've been beholden to for years. Wasn't that down for a while? Because I was trying to look it up stuff on that and it was down. It sucks.
Starting point is 00:50:14 It's a fake organization, fake website. Bartenders have never heard of it. It's in milliliters, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember when you used to go to Van Arsalan's website and it would say under construction and there was a picture of a buff
Starting point is 00:50:29 construction hunk with his face on it? He's working around the clock. He's like that for months. Okay, sippy. Let me tell you, boys. I'm into it. Let me tell you. Uh-oh yeah this is fucking good there you go see mitch this is what you could be doing every day if you wanted to
Starting point is 00:50:55 drinking this is good this is good tone does it have the tiki bar taste mitch tim you nailed it you knocked out of the park you got the mai tai in the mai tai year get here the uh that that appleton estate is just fucking doing a lot of the heavy work i got i got two big big league uh you know it's like uh when you got you got your you got your mlb team and you got two heavy hitters on there the offense is gonna still be all right no matter what brothers they got the bash brothers so if you got two heavy hitters on there, the offense is going to still be all right. No matter what. Bash brothers. They got the bash brothers. So if you got the bash brothers, you're going to get some runs.
Starting point is 00:51:33 You know, you're going to knock some runs in no matter what, even if they're solo homers. And this is even with a – because I used Rose's lime juice, which is good. Yeah. Which is a good lime juice. But I did two parts. I did like two ounces Myers Dark Rum, two ounces of the Appleton Estate. Ooh, you made a little stiffy.
Starting point is 00:51:54 And then I did one ounce of the Dry Curacao, one ounce of the Orgette, and then one and three quarters ounce of lime juice. I had no simple syrup. But I think with the sweet of lime juice. I had no simple syrup, but I think with the sweetened lime juice, I didn't really need it. That lime juice is sweetened. We kind of had the same conversation last week.
Starting point is 00:52:13 It's like, it's enough. It's enough. And that just adds sugar, but no taste. Whereas you want the or shot to be doing the sweetening. Cause it's flavoring along the way. This is,
Starting point is 00:52:22 this is, this is fantastic. I'm like shocked that it's as good as it is. I know, you get the right ingredients. Jeff and Tim, let me see your drinks again. Brown. Yeah, okay. See, mine's a little it's a little browner than you might think, but it's kind of
Starting point is 00:52:36 pinkish. Yours is good. It's damn good, I'll tell you that. And it's doing its job. I have the same knee-jerk reaction that I did last time, which was that it tastes like a sneaker-upper. Like, it's not pounding me over the head with tiki flavor, and it's not pounding me over the head with like, oh my god, this is strong. This is dangerous zone. But, you know, it does have the sort of, yeah, sneaker-upper.
Starting point is 00:52:59 It's like a Trojan horse in there somewhere. Highway to the dangerous zone. That's a music bed. Keep talking okay keep going um while this doesn't taste like that that almondy trader vick flavor there's something else the the twang of this don beach drink it's it is very good and it is very complex and it's very tiki and it's like that thing where you're like the the falernum and the pernode make it just weird enough that you're like oh don you got me a brilliant bastard it's it's it's weird in a good way tim you've got a specific way with words twang is just the right word you're sitting with this much like Dwayne Eddy's guitar playing. That's right. I like this.
Starting point is 00:53:46 I like the grapefruit in this much better than last week's drink. Like last week didn't have grapefruit juice, obviously. And I like the addition. I really do. This feels more Tonga Room ready. Mm-hmm. Tim, this is like, I take a sip of this and I'm in
Starting point is 00:54:01 relaxatory confinement. The old birthday boy sketch that we performed once. That's right. I think it's the second sketch we ever did, maybe. Yeah, it was early on. Or it's close to it. It's in the first few. I want to say it was like 23, 24 when we did that.
Starting point is 00:54:18 And I had never had a Mai Tai. I think the second sketch we did, it was a take on that improv show that was on TV called like... Oh, thank God you're here. Yeah, thank God you're here. Thank God you're here. Thank God you're here. And then I was like, well, that show doesn't exist or make sense. We'll never do that sketch again.
Starting point is 00:54:39 The premise is that Tim got put into solitary confinement. And then a guy... And then the prison got I don't know if I was in this sketch I think in some way so Tim gets put into like the back door and the door shuts and then so you can't see him but you hear that that song that's like
Starting point is 00:54:55 do do do do do Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny I mean that was meant to be score theater of the mind but yeah the premise is a guy gets put in solitary confinement and he likes it because he's relaxing. And Mitch kept being like, no, no, no, no relaxing in there.
Starting point is 00:55:12 And then at one point I was drinking a Mai Tai. I'd love to see the tape of that and the sure confidence I had as that. Now you're on a sure mic. I have the tape and I've been waiting for a good moment to sit down with you watch the tape and talk about improvements in your performance run it run it run it for a second time 13 years later 13 years even probably even longer than that that's my guess october is the 10th anniversary of the birthday boys show on IFC.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Wow. Yeah. So it's more than 13 years even that we did that sketch. Probably like 16 years ago. Yeah. 16. But can you believe 10 years since the IFC show? That's wild.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Yeah. Are we going to do a show to commemorate it? Yes. Yes. IFC show? That's wild. Are we going to do a show to commemorate it? Yes! I think we've got to do a panel show at Carnegie Hall. Bob told me, I had lunch with Bob, and Bob was like, you've got to do a show!
Starting point is 00:56:17 Do a show! Do a live show! Do one! That's what he was saying to me. He did say he should do one. He's right. He ain't wrong. And then I was like, what are you up to? He was like, I'm going to go do one. That's what he was saying to me. He did say he should do one. He's right. He ain't wrong. And then I was like, what do you have to do? He's like, I'm going to go do a show. And then he went to Chicago and he did a show.
Starting point is 00:56:30 A show? Yeah, that's all he can talk about. Where did you have lunch with Bob? And can I guess, was it? It was not. Crazy enough,
Starting point is 00:56:38 we went to the, we went to the, that Cuban restaurant. Cuban Pete's? That's, yeah, we went to the that uh cuban restaurant uh cuban pete's that's yeah we went to cuban what cuban restaurant i think i remember as cuban he kept saying uh chick chicky uh no right by fat dragon you know that what i'm talking about in the little uh in hollywood oh come on now you guys are forgetting oh oh in uh in silver lake uh by millie's over there yeah yeah right next to millie's what is the fuck is the name it used to be all great now it's uh cochito yes yeah did you get a cuban sandwich or what kind of food was it? Got a Cubano, hand man. You're right. Nice. I think that's what it's called.
Starting point is 00:57:25 El Cochinito. Yeah. That's what it's called. Cochinito. That's what it's called. Had a great Cubano. Do a show. That was his vice.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Yeah, we'll do a show. We'll do a show. Mitch just set that up. I'll be in it. Oh, you will? Well, he's committing to it now. I'll make a guest appearance. Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:57:48 I'll do it. I was the guy who kind of handled that stuff back in the day, if I remember correctly. Yeah, get on the horn. Organizing emails. I feel like if we called Dave or texted Dave and was like, hey, we want to do a show. You want to maybe help get that organized? He'd be like, yes, I used to do that a long time ago. I used to help put a long time ago. I used to help
Starting point is 00:58:07 put the birthday boy shows together, but that was years ago. Katie, can I do it one more time? Just one more time. He pulls out his old planter and blows dust off it. Yes, I remember this. Oh, man. It's gonna happen, folks.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Call up Dynasty Typewriter. Call up, uh, uh no we said Carnegie Hall just see what dates they have Mitch call Carnegie and Dynasty and just see what the dates they have bidding war Carnegie Hall and Dynasty Typewriter just loop them in put them on an email chain
Starting point is 00:58:41 together take yourself off have them figure it out you fight it out. You fight it out. Yeah. Email me when you guys have figured it out. I actually already do have a bidding war, but it's Carnegie Deli and cats. We have to work a shift in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:59:01 Isn't one of those, Carnegie's not around, right? Carnegie closed, but they still have the carnegie the fake carnegie delia msg and you know what i got to experience it because of my boy the cat man and i went there together do you remember that it's true yeah we went there i remember gawking at some guy had the biggest plate of food i'd ever seen. I think it was brisket. Was it Mitch? Huge pile. It was across from you. It's this guy across from me who I'm talking to right now. Well, Mitch, now you have to name
Starting point is 00:59:32 other restaurants that you went with only Jeff and with only Mike. Hamper and I think I went to Raw Kitchen Cafe. Raw Chicken Cafe. Raw Kitchen Cafe. That's right. That's what I meant to say that drink's hitting it certainly is
Starting point is 00:59:50 I know what I'm going to say come on baby little jewel of New Orleans oh that's a great one I was thinking of the one that this is more of a birthday boys one but I was thinking of the one that I went to with you the most, probably. Paquito?
Starting point is 01:00:07 Which is Paquito Mas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a classic. When were you two in New Orleans together? No, Little Jewel of New Orleans downtown. It's like a po' boy place. We went there when we couldn't get Howlin' Rays. Was that it?
Starting point is 01:00:21 I forget. I think that's what it was. I would like to see you two go to New Orleans and see a documentary on that. Hey, you bankroll it. We'll do it. Your dreams can come true, Mike. I'll do it. I'll do it. I will do it. I play the lotto every week. Raw Kitchen Cafe.
Starting point is 01:00:41 This guy doesn't cook raw kitchens. He cooks raw chickens in the kitchen. It still kind of works. Yeah. The contents of the kitchen are raw. Mitch, here's a good thing to talk about because you and I have not connected about this in real life,
Starting point is 01:00:57 so it'll be raw talk on the pod. Raw talk. Ooh. Speaking of eating at restaurants, you and I recently ate at the delicious indian pizzeria pija palace in silverlake certainly did i loved it from my point of view this was on a wild day for me in which i blacked out and i don't even mean like i mean like i was an unconscious blacked out guy and And then I came to.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Should we say what the event was? Yeah, it was a Sloppy Boys listening party at El Cid in LA. People handed us a lot of shots on stage. That was a lot of day drinking. Well, it's Hanford's fault. Yeah. Slopheads were giving you shots left and right. It was crazy.
Starting point is 01:01:38 They really were, but I was taking them all. It was six drinks in 20 minutes because we were, it was nuts. And usually toward the tail end of a particularly fun and raucous Sloppy Boys concert, taking them all it was it was six drinks in 20 minutes because we were it was nuts and usually toward the tail end of us of a particularly fun and raucous sloppy boys concert michael say hey if you if you if you want to get us shots you can take one with us on stage but this was a afternoon 2 p.m industry event we had empty stomachs we had not not hydrated. I hadn't eaten lunch. And right off the bat, Hanford goes, hey, bring shots up. We'll do it on stage. So a lot of shit went haywire that day to the point where we had to have a band meeting the next day to iron out what actually put together the timeline of what happened.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Iron out certain people's responsibilities and lack of responsibilities the day of certain certain all certain all three of us but um i from mitch's point of view uh as as an outsider mitch i i had had a very wild afternoon in in my memory i don't remember talking to you about going to this place nor going to to this place and i come to at a wonder at a wonderful dinner with lamb pasta it was delicious and curry pizza and it was so good did from did you was i talking and madeline with that that was it was the four of us it was it was it was uh no this is this is what happened i remember like i got to the slop sloppy boy show and i talked to hamford i was like hamford is sure being warm and energetic
Starting point is 01:03:11 he usually doesn't say even hello to me when i see him and then uh and then uh i love you buddy and then i like talked to two other people and i talked I talked to Hanford again. I was like, oh, he's gone. You were fucking gone. Oh, no. And then Dutz and Tim, when I saw you, I was like, ooh, Tim is maybe even more in the zone than Handman. Dutz, you were very level-headed of the crew. You were kind of contained. That's kind of strange, because I also had four or five shots on stage. But Jeff recently bulked up and got jacked by june so maybe maybe me and
Starting point is 01:03:46 mike are lightweights and you're the biggest guy i don't know about that the muscles took in some of the booze but i afterwards i was i was shocked because there were people who've been partying all day and i i had only had just a couple drinks and uh i want to go to pisa palace and uh tim i give you credit because you're like i'm in you're down so but when i said that did you know that you were taking like a catatonic guy like where my eyes crossed i didn't know that you were i didn't know that you were catatonic because you honestly you it seemed honestly better to me because you because because uh you know i saw hanford fall on his ass like a child near the uh t-shirt table that is because we were taking photographs okay yeah and there was a big group and i was leaning back on somebody
Starting point is 01:04:33 and they moved and i tumbled down that was not because i have a problem so they shouldn't have moved somebody near me moved someone near me moved too quick it threw my balance i literally wasn't saying that because i was saying like it literally like it was like a child falling on their bottom you kind of just like went straight down yeah you could see uh we we posted a picture of that group photo like pose on instagram and and like when when mike fell and you if you look at there's a there's Mike fell and you, if you look at, there's a, there's a booth behind us.
Starting point is 01:05:07 And if you look down below our friend, Andrea, you can see her little boots because she dove out of the way and she was like lying on the ground to get out. Cause the table got knocked toward her. She said, he's going down. You,
Starting point is 01:05:19 you, you guys are, everyone was having a blast. Everyone was partying. And Tim, I was, we, we went to the 4100.
Starting point is 01:05:26 We walked over there and we were relaxed and you seemed with it. And you were with it. But did you see me? I had our friend Brett and I were having a heart to heart and I cried in his arms and I sobbed on his shoulders. Did you see that? I did not see that, but I had a heart to heart with Brett too. And he made me feel great. He's good at that. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:05:47 It's feast or famine with old Brett, goddamn. I had a nice conversation too. I'd say it was a heart-to-heart, but it didn't get too deep. It was about the atrium and the ventricles of the heart. Well, no, he's like, is Tim okay? You might need to help him out. I said, he's fine. Leave me alone. He's like, you really gotta help Tim out? I said,
Starting point is 01:06:03 would you leave me alone? He's fine. Give me a. He's like, you really got to help Tim out? I said, would you leave me alone? He's fine. Give me a hand. Pull me up from the ground, Brett. I've been down here for an half an hour. Tim, honestly, you were pretty, we went, I was surprised that you, just because you guys have been partying so much. And then you, you know what? It didn't stop you from eating.
Starting point is 01:06:19 I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Tim, if you ever had any concerns about your food consumption while drunk, don't worry about it. You're good. That really puts my mind at ease because I've been worrying that I will starve while drunk. Your body goes back and right back into autopilot. Honestly, at the dinner, the only time – because we all got drinks even at the dinner. And the only time where I could tell that I was like, it was we finished dessert. And I looked over and you were snoot.
Starting point is 01:06:52 You were like wimpy under his tree. You'd eaten your food and you had fallen asleep again. Back to sleep. Man, in my memory, I was like, I rallied and came back to life. But that's funny that I. No, honestly, you were pretty good for the whole dinner and then it was just after eating you're still you're still you got turned down even a little bit more mitch i'm so sorry it's so loud even that even you were it was still impressive it got louder when you turned it down no no it's
Starting point is 01:07:20 good is it good is it better it's better uh better. You did rally quite a bit, and the food was great. I've read people be mixed about that place, and that place is fucking great. It's an Indian restaurant that specializes in pizza? That's very unique. It's an Indian American food that's like a bar. It's like a sports bar. P-I-J-A, Peeja? G-G, right?
Starting point is 01:07:43 Or J-J or G-J? J-J. P-I-J-J-A? G-G, right? Or J-J or G-G? J-J. P-I-J-J-A. Okay. A. Okay. Yeah. So I had heard about it forever.
Starting point is 01:07:51 It's like an Indian sports bar and it has pizza, but you would assume Indian pizza would be like on naan bread, like a flatbread. But no, we were eating it. We were saying this is like Cape Cod bar pie kind of. It was like bar pizza and and does it have like like uh traditional indian food like on it like the tandoori chicken yes yeah there were curry options and sog options and other but then who knew that also the pastas
Starting point is 01:08:18 we're talking about like a lamb kind of like a very gamey, delicious lamb, deep, dark pasta dish. That was amazing. I go to that Indian food buffet in Los Feliz, kind of near. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it's called India Buffet or India's Restaurant. India's Restaurant. Yeah. Indian food is one of those things where I don't see it often, so I don't eat it a lot.
Starting point is 01:08:40 But when I have it, I'm like, oh, this is such, it's so good. There used to be a great place called Cowboys and Turbans. Do you remember that place? Oh, yeah. They did a chicken tikka masala burrito that was so fucking good, and they got shut down at some point. But I think it was just like the health board shut them down, but it was so good.
Starting point is 01:08:58 I really miss it. So I'm definitely checking out Puget Palace. You got to go. We should go there. We got a bar pie that just had like a green sauce on it right tim was like kind of like a green curry sauce or something i i don't know what it was but it was fucking great i would i would get a sog is like this is the spinach right was it but it was more it was brighter green and more pasty but it was very good everything was the right
Starting point is 01:09:19 amount of spice i don't remember ordering my cocktail but when i came to i was like oh this is like a mango this is like a mango. This is like a mango curry cocktail. You grab stew by the lapels, like, who the hell ordered this? Because I want to shake their hand. It's delicious. It's funny that I was ordering cocktails while Blackout drunk.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Damn. All right. Let me impose a little structure here if i may what would you change about this drink this new version mike and tim i think nothing because if you change it it becomes a different version of a mai tai yeah like like this is uh this is great yeah why why add any or genre amaretto or try to do that just let it be what it is and it's a little it's a little per notey it's sharp right it's a stringent it's got edges to it now when you go to when you go to like tkt let's say and you order a mai tai can you say give me a vix or a beachcomber a lot of times they'll list different ones like same with the zombie they'll be like here's our zombie and then
Starting point is 01:10:19 there's the 1934 one or whatever geez i would be almost interested in going there and doing uh side by side i want to do a side-by-side. I want to do a side-by-side because here's the thing, guys. And Mitch, you can interject. I wasn't trying to shut you up or anything. Oh, I did remember a thing Tim did at Pija Palace. You did get up at one point and you said, I'm the prince of Pija Palace.
Starting point is 01:10:41 And you took a tablecloth off and put it around like a robe and you did start around the restaurant. That's when I had sobered up a little bit. He wasn't wearing clothes at that point, so that was probably the best. It was good that we got something around him. Yeah, and I remember the owner and everyone that worked there was like,
Starting point is 01:10:57 right, all hail the prince. Absolutely. We were expecting your arrival. At the Tiki Tea you might want to you might assume they do a Trader Vic's Mai Tai but the whole thing with the Tiki Tea is the old guy behind the bar
Starting point is 01:11:14 his dad is Ray of Ray's Mistake, Ray Boone and Ray Boone had been a bar back at the original Don the Beachcomber so they probably are leaning more toward Don Beach ingredients than Vic Bergeron ingredients. We should go taste. Tim, you're saying that now. I'm like, I'm drinking this Mai Tai, which is fantastic.
Starting point is 01:11:35 Way better than I thought it was. When I drink that Tiki Mai Tai, which I now want one bad, there is like a little bit of fruitiness to it, right? Like there's something. Like maybe the grapefruit juice that we're having. Maybe they put some sort of juice in there. Because I don't know what their recipe is. I think they list it in the drink menu,
Starting point is 01:11:56 but I don't know if that's like, you know, if they're not telling us something too. But it's fucking great. They better tell us. What are you hiding? Where's Rachel? You guys, after this recording, you should go to Tiki Tea and
Starting point is 01:12:08 drink them up. Oh, boy. You don't have to. It's closed tonight, but we'll go very soon. I would have too. Almost had to socialize. I know, me too. Monday night, Tiki Tea. I'm sure there's other tiki places you guys can go.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Shut up, would ya? Take him out. Jeff, pick up Mitch and Tim and take him out. Take him out for a night in the town. Now, are you more of a tiki tea or a Tonga for all of you? Are you Tonga Hut or tiki tea? Tiki tea. I think Tonga just because I can get in and out of that place.
Starting point is 01:12:45 Yeah, me too. Tiki tea, I'm like waiting in line. Last think Tonga just because I can get in and out of that place. Yeah, me too. Tiki Tea, I'm like waiting in line. Last time I was there, I was waiting in line for half an hour. Come with me. It's fun, but it's cramped. I've had more fun at Tonga. And Tonga, you get to wobble across the street to see like Grown Ups 2. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:59 Yeah, that is good. True. They always play Grown Ups 2 at that theater. Mitch, I don't want to make this a big conversation, but have you seen the new Turtles movie? I have. It's great. We were just talking about it on the show.
Starting point is 01:13:13 Mitch saw it with me. I saw it with Dutz. There you go. It's wonderful, wonderful filmmaking. Animation is back. Animation is fun. Not enough Krang, though. We could have used some more Krang. Yeah, we could use. Yeah, what Not enough Krang, though. We could have used some more Krang. Yeah, we could use...
Starting point is 01:13:27 What happened to Krang? He's coming. He's coming. Let's take a little break and when we come back, final thoughts. Mitch, are you going to stick around? I mean, at this point, it's up to you. Yeah, I'm here. I'm here. You know what? We're wrapping it up anyway. Look, we're coming right back. I looked it up. The Mai Tai at Tiki Tea.
Starting point is 01:13:43 Tim, I was right. Sorry, I keep talking to Tim about this. He's got. The Mai Tai at Tiki Tea. Tim, I was right. Sorry, I keep talking to Tim about this. He's got the Mai Tai. This Tiki Tea version is made with passion. That's all it says is passion. Passion fruit. Is there a little bit of passion fruit in there? Come.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Lime, Orgette syrup, amber rum, and floated with Jamaican dark rum. And I'm like, there's definitely a little more sweetness in that Tiki Tea. Okay, so passion fruit syrup or puree. We've had that for when we made the original Hurricane, and it's utterly delicious. And it's kind of having a moment right now in fancy cocktails. I could see it being in there. There's something.
Starting point is 01:14:18 There's something. Well, round two, I'm just going to freestyle. Since Mai Tai seems so open-ended, I'm going to do me. Me Tai. I'm still working on this one, but I'm going to splash some Orgeat in there and see what happens. Nice. I am done. I might do what Jeff does and go buck wild.
Starting point is 01:14:36 All right, folks. We'll see you right back here in a bit. and we're back with our final thoughts on the mai tai swizzle is that the technical name tim i think we'll just call it don the beachcombers mai tai but yeah he called it a mai tai swizzle hmm all right i'm gonna say uh it's it great. I think I like it better than the last one. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I know. I'm with you, Jeff.
Starting point is 01:15:10 I said the last one was a Stone Cold classic, and this is not far off, so I'll say this is Stone Cold. Hell yeah. The IBA version needed tweaks, did it not? We all tweaked it. That's true. That's true.
Starting point is 01:15:22 I give this one an order again forever why was why was stone cold so old what hell yeah i haven't been body slammed why is it in italy is tim go ahead um i mean i liked last week but yeah then we had to tweak it a little bit and i think the thing with last week was we were like, this is a little light. I think that we, if you use stinkier rums and then use just or shot and no simple, you'd be better off. I love that. And I love this one.
Starting point is 01:15:54 But then in round two here, guys, I just added a little or shot, just a half ounce of or shot to the Don beach. And it just made earth's best Mai Tai ever. It rounded out the edge a little bit. It balanced it out and it's pretty perfect. It's as complex as Don Beach but as sweet as Trader Vic.
Starting point is 01:16:15 I did a little tweak on mine too. I thought mine was a little too juicy and sweet so I made a classic dirty martini. A lot of tweaks. That was a pretty severe tweak for round two there. Yeah, almost nothing in common. Nothing carried over from the last recipe, it seems like.
Starting point is 01:16:31 Yeah, really, nothing. I guess, well, the shaker. There was a shaker. Gin instead of rum. Vermouth instead of full urnum. Mitch, what are your thoughts about Mai Tais just in a general way? Well, Dutz, I'll say this. We know he likes them.
Starting point is 01:16:46 That's why he's here. They call me Mai Tai Mitch for a reason. I mean, no one has until this day, and it's myself that's been calling myself it. But I call myself Mai Tai Mitch for a reason. It's because I love these things. And also, I think a great part of them is that there is a mystery to them, Dutz. You get a Mai Tai that's orange juice, pineapple juice, and rum, and that's a Mai Tai. And you can get this Don Beachcomber one, and you can get the original Mai Tai, and they all count as a Mai Tai, and they're all great in their own way.
Starting point is 01:17:19 That's it. There's mystery of the secret. it there's mystery of like of like the secret you know don the beachcomber when he got sick of being ripped off he started naming his his he'd like pre-bottle his mixes and put numbers on the bottles so the bartenders in kaiser soze fashion yeah the bartenders didn't even know because when we made a zombie we had something called don's number two we had don's mix oh that's it that's cool so he had like eight of those mixes and then he also so people worked for him and didn't know how to recreate the cocktails after the fact but it all makes it sort of the curse of the tiki very mysterious was he
Starting point is 01:17:55 kind of like a like an anxious weirdo guy or was this just like he was getting ripped off so much no cool laid back uh trader vick did rip him off so he needed to uh do stuff like that why was he a beachcomber combed beaches he um he he like worked on boats but as like just he wasn't in the navy until later but he was just like a trader going island island like hustling like benedict arnold i might be an old man navy guy i might join up well mitch you could because the thing don don had this reputation during like after like world war one but he didn't even serve but then world war ii he became they created a position he was like the colonel of hospitality or something for for the the u.s military wow they they invented it for him they'd
Starting point is 01:18:46 be like oh truman is going to visit uh uh winston churchill and they need 40 barrels of rum don don what can you do it's war times and he'd like go to jamaica and get rum for them and like that was his job that's the sloppy boys movie yeah don the beachcomber is like sick for the weekend the three of us have to get some booze across the Pacific. That's super funny. That's like how Elvis was like an honorary DEA agent or whatever that was. Yeah, yeah. Did they get into that in the
Starting point is 01:19:14 Elvis movie? Probably not, huh? That's just like a weird little thing. I bailed halfway through. Maybe I could be corporal podcaster. You could be corporal punishment. They're like, quick navy seals need the navy seals need a podcast fast uh how many forks they're bored they need they need you to eat mcdonald's i i love a mai tai i i don't think you get you know like any i'm gonna like any mai tai i'm gonna like the shittiest version of one i mean I'm going to like the shittiest version of one.
Starting point is 01:19:45 I mean, I'm not going to love the shittiest version of one, but I'm going to still even kind of enjoy a shitty Mai Tai. I'm going to really, really love the best version of one. So that's where I'm at. It's like pizza for you. Pizza, you know, everyone says like, there's no such thing as bad pizza. There is, obviously, but
Starting point is 01:20:01 for the most part, it's pretty good. Yeah, I'm always, I mean, people talk about that, like, there's no such thing as bad pizza and bad sex. I'm like, that's not true for either. Yeah, I was fucking a pepperoni the other day. I couldn't get this thing off. I'm fucking a slice
Starting point is 01:20:17 of... Yes? Pepperoni? What? A slice of what? I was having sex with an old Detroit slice the other day. It was square pie. And I couldn't get this thing to come. Okay. My vote for worst pizza on earth, I vote Cheech's pizza in Los Feliz, and I still eat it.
Starting point is 01:20:41 I don't mind Cheech's. I still like it. Worse than like 7-eleven pizza i see what you're saying yes it's still yes i think it's the worst on earth but i still will eat it cheech's is pretty bad and and thank you for it cheech's is like if it's the one i'm thinking of it's kind of like uh got a uh sweet the the crust is sweet yeah it's like a sweet foamy crust it's bizarre yes yes it's like cake pizza cake it's like a sweet, foamy crust. It's bizarre. Yes, yes, it's like cake. Pizza cake.
Starting point is 01:21:05 It's like that BuzzFeed thing. You bite into the pizza and it's cake with the fuck. Doesn't this remind you, though, of being in a tropical locale or in a tiki bar? One of the two. Yes, we've covered that very much. Doesn't this kind of remind you of having a Mai Tai in your hand? I really like the distinction though, Mitch. Mai Tai, I think, is more a pina colada.
Starting point is 01:21:31 I'm sitting out at the beach or on a cruise. Mai Tai, I almost want to be in Detroit on a rainy night, but I step into a little steamy oasis and there's a water feature and I have a Mai Tai. Isn't that funny? You mentioned that last week, the idea of like, and there's a water feature and I have a Mai Tai. Isn't that funny? You mentioned that last week, the idea of like,
Starting point is 01:21:45 it's like an easy vacation to take in an afternoon or a day. Get away from your kids, all your daughters. Buy us dresses. Buy us the latest BTS dress. What? We're on the rag.
Starting point is 01:21:59 When I take a sip, Mai Tai brings me back to any town USA. Any time USA. Anytime USA. I love it. It can be anywhere. Anytime. USA. My tie. I gotta tell you guys, I also went to
Starting point is 01:22:17 a tiki bar in San Diego when I was just down there. Oh, was it Test Pilot? No, that's Santa Barbara. No, not Test Pilot. The Coconut Club? Not the Coconut Club.
Starting point is 01:22:33 Not False Idol. Oh, the Pineapple Palace. That's more South. Was it the Pernod Pit? Yes, it was the Pernod Pit. Come down the pit.. Yes, it was the Pernod Pit. Come down the pit. I feel like it was...
Starting point is 01:22:48 Was it False Idol? Maybe it was False Idol. Yes. I think it was maybe False Idol, but that doesn't sound right. Yeah, it does. Maybe it was the Falernum Foyer. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:03 I thought there was a compass in the, in the, you're thinking broken compass up in the, up in the Valley. Yeah. Ooh, I'm feeling hot in the face. Me too.
Starting point is 01:23:14 You know, I'll tell you, I'm feeling hot right under my chin here. I shaved today and I'm, I'm like, of course I'm sweating like crazy here. Cause I'm so fucking hot. But,
Starting point is 01:23:23 uh, did you use your Manscaped products? I've run out of those. Those were a sponsor of ours way too long ago. I've gone dry. But right under my chin is stinging because it's like the salty sweat.
Starting point is 01:23:38 Mitch, I see why you keep that beard so much. It sops up the sweat. That would explain the smell of the thing. Mitch, last time I saw you, I hugged you. I thought I was going to vomit. That thing is so gross. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 01:23:59 Rude and crude to our guest. The problem is the way you hug. Usually you go one side or the other, but you hug him dead on and you bury your nose in his beard. I go right up under the chin. I said, this guy has got to get the sweat out of here. You say, where's my eyeline? I'm going in.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Straight. No, I'm kidding. That was supposed to be more of a dirty beard joke. Yeah, you take that out, Wolf. It wasn't that good. No, keep it in. I like that. Keep it in.
Starting point is 01:24:22 It's good. Also, I think everyone knows knows this but wolf is our new editor he's doing a great job so when you hear us say take that out wolf and it stays in and to all the listeners if you hear an episode and it's a nice tight edit you got to go oh the wolf the wolf dead oh god we're gonna get litigated. It was false idol. That's the bar. And you know what?
Starting point is 01:24:48 It was a blast. Oh, yeah. The Mango Mansion is a little north of that place. Right, right. The Mango Mansion. When we were in that bar, at the end of the night, you had a great comeback. But it looks like you were in the back of a flatbed truck at the end there. But just for the very last two minutes we were there.
Starting point is 01:25:11 But I'll tell you, at False Idol, we did a – I was there with Fran and Neil and Weiger. Oh, because you did Sombrero on Doughboys. Yes, yes. We did Sombrero, and then we went there afterwards. She brings me Mexican food from Sombrero just because. Do you know that I'm the only person who didn't know that song? I don't know if I've ever heard it before. Really?
Starting point is 01:25:32 I don't know if I've ever. I must have heard it at your guy's house at one point. And Mitch, you're one of the coolest dudes. I know. I don't get it myself. I'm thinking about going up to the Gorge for Dave Matthews for a three-day Dave Matthews weekend. Oh, that's fun. Dude, I'd do that to the Gorge for Dave Matthews for a three-day Dave Matthews weekend. Oh, that's fun. Dude, I'd do that.
Starting point is 01:25:47 The Gorge is cool. I've always wanted to see a show at the Gorge. It might be a pain in the ass. Get one of those tricked-out sprinter vans with a bed in the back and take it up there and camp out. Ooh, I like that. That would be fucking cool. Take these two with you. They'll love it.
Starting point is 01:26:02 Dutz, you like Dave Matthews enough. Yeah, I do. I took him to a fish show recently. They had the best time of their lives, they said. Yeah. At False Idol, I had a scorpion bowl, which was great, and a Mai Tai and one other drink, and I was as cross-eyed as... You had a scorpion bowl to yourself?
Starting point is 01:26:18 No, no, I shared it. But I was as cross-eyed as a Sloppy Boys release party. We need to work hard to change that look. That's a bad look. That's an okay look. It doesn't have to be you. It can be fun and people are enjoying themselves. There's nothing wrong with that.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Scorpion Bowl is a Trader Vic creation, and that's where we drank those at the Cantiki the night we got Super Blotto. And Mitch, I believe you drove me through Del Taco that night. This is the night we got super blotto and mitch i believe you drove me through del taco that night this is the night we famously found we found a mystery chest of iced cold beers oh the chest yeah oh fresh core cores lights and we chugged them and it was great that was great and they're out of business now or are they they or they're moving they moved a little treasure chest just for us yeah x marks the spot a boys oh that was so great like have you ever found a a chest and then like oh what's in here and
Starting point is 01:27:14 you open up and it's ice cold beers never i love i i was in there and i love this story it's a chest of beers and i've it has a very specific picture in my mind. And like opening it up and like ice cold beers. Ice cold is the best. It was like the Pulp Fiction briefcase. It was like, oh. Normally you find something like that and you open it up and it's like, oh, beers. And they're sitting in warm water and they've been there for like a week.
Starting point is 01:27:39 Yeah. This was like ready for Duddy. Freshly packed. And it was in a bar. You're like, these canly packed. And it was in a bar. You're like, these can't be here. We're in a bar. That's where they sell these behind the counter. This can't be here.
Starting point is 01:27:53 And we just fucking sucked them down. These can't be here. This can't be here. What was it for? Was it for like a comedy show or maybe some karaoke show or something? It was for something. Yeah, it got to be. It must have been a show was happening.
Starting point is 01:28:04 Probably not for us. I'm pretty sure Billy Joel came It was for something. Yeah, it got to be. It must have been the show was happening. Probably not for us. I'm pretty sure Billy Joel came up after we left. Yeah. I think we drank all Billy Joel's beers. What do you think he drinks? I bet he drinks red wine, huh? Yeah, a bottle of red. A bottle of white.
Starting point is 01:28:19 There you go. It's pretty good. I guess it depends upon his appetite. That's our show. Follow us on social media at TheSloppyBoys. We can't leave on a stinker. We'll cut it. It was great.
Starting point is 01:28:31 We'll cut off something good. You're left on a floater. A floater? That floater stinks. Follow us on social media at TheSloppyBoys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And go to Patreon.com slash TheSl boys and get the bonus that's the sloppy boys blowout and the bonus bonus that's the monthly show questions for lennon can i say one last thing fine tiki torches they're back on the good side now sorry who brought them brought them back? I'm bringing them back.
Starting point is 01:29:05 Now they're good again. Yeah. I'm with you, Mitch. Don't bring them back, man. And you mean like in the traditional sense, like white polo, holding the torch, marching around, right? That's good. I mean, I'm in a white polo, but I'm saying I'm bringing them back to the good side. Tiki stuff got taken over to the bad side. It's coming back. It's coming back. It's good. It's great. 2023 Tiki torches it back to the good side. Tiki stuff got taken over to the bad side. It's coming back.
Starting point is 01:29:25 It's coming back. It's good. It's great. 2023 Tiki torches are back on the good side. Happy to hear it. Yeah. Reclaiming them. Well, this was great.
Starting point is 01:29:35 Thanks for listening. Mitch, thanks for joining us. Also, yeah, we didn't think this would be a whole episode thing. It's great. What a gift. What a treat. What a treat. It was fun.
Starting point is 01:29:43 If you're out there, if you got Peacock, or if you don't have Peacock, get Peacock and watch Twisted Metal. My boy Mitch is on it, and he's crushing it. That's nice of you to say, because I won't promote it. You can't. He won't. He can't. He'll go to jail. Maybe with the strike, I'm not supposed to promote it either, but you didn't hear it from me, folks.
Starting point is 01:30:03 You didn't hear it from me. Hey, it was a blast to be here. I got to free my tie out of the whole thing. Yeah, that wasn't a promo. That's just me talking to my friends saying Mitch is great on the show. That doesn't mean I'm promoting. Don't kick me out of the union, all. You just watched a show that you liked, and you're just saying that.
Starting point is 01:30:19 You're a viewer. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. You're just reporting your feelings. That's good. That's helpful. Hampered, I'm going to go out there with you. I wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. You're just reporting your feelings. That's good. That's healthy. Hamper, I'm going to go out there with you.
Starting point is 01:30:26 I love young Sheldon. Yeah. Thank you. Of which I'm the star. Thank you. It was a weird choice, but they have me in a green screen ping pong suit for every episode. Hamper, look at you. Talking Don the Beachcomber.
Starting point is 01:30:44 You look like Mike the Haircomber. Your hair looks nice. That boy is slick. It's because I'm sweating and I'm just going slick. What if there was a bar called Mike the Haircomber and you're like, what the fuck are you walking about? The bartender has his hair combed. You're like, oh, that's Mike.
Starting point is 01:31:02 Hey, we're going down to Mike the Haircomber's. Why are you going there? Everything else is too full. You'll find out. Every sip you take, you're like... A little bit of hair. A little short and curly. He combs his pubes too.
Starting point is 01:31:20 We have a few menu items. We got chicken, air fried chicken. That's a little tender. I want to say this before we leave. The Beachcombers, the original name of the band, The Who. No shit. I thought they were called The Detours. Look at Mr. Knowledge.
Starting point is 01:31:37 We won't get fooled again, folks. We won't get fooled again. All right. Good episode, guys. Bye, everybody. Thanks, Mitch. Thanks, Deuce. Good stuff. See you next week. Peace. We won't get fooled again Alright good episode guys Bye everybody thanks Mitch Thanks Deuce Good stuff
Starting point is 01:31:47 See you next week Peace Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys Boys

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