The Sloppy Boys - 156. Three Wise Men
Episode Date: October 13, 2023Three Wise Men for Three Wise Guys on the pod's three year anniversary. Honestly, it's a just a huge coincidence. THREE WISE MEN SHOT RECIPE1/2 ounce Johnnie Walker Scotch Whisky1/2 ounce​ Jack Dani...el's Tennessee Whiskey1/2 ounce​ Jim Beam Bourbon WhiskeyGather the ingredients. Pour into a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake well. Strain into a shot glass and....well, you know the rest ;) (Recipe via The Spruce Eats) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.
Hello!
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up third anniversary stylies?
Wow! That's right folks! What is up third anniversary stylies? Wow.
That's right, folks.
Three years going strong, going long.
What is that song?
It's one of the free Apple jingles, of course.
That's my favorite song.
It's so funny when you hear stuff like that and you're like how do i know that oh
it's just because uh there's media afoot yeah there's media so so to speak so to speak i once
heard a um you know like flight of the concords wrote so many like good funny songs for their
show we do that but then like one time i heard a free apple jingle in this in their hbo show and i
thought you know not everybody you know nobody's immune from having to use a free Apple jingle in their HBO show, and I thought, you know, not everybody,
you know, nobody's immune from having to use a free tune every once in a while.
I love hearing backing music.
Stuff we used to use on the Birthday Boys show on IFC will pop up in commercials and
like curb your enthusiasm and stuff.
You're like, ha ha.
That's great.
Our theme song was just for the Birthday Boys show is just something from a free database or from a free what have.
I think it was APM.
It was a Louie Louie sound alike on the APM music archive.
It was called Keg Party.
And we eventually found a version that has lyrics.
I think it's on YouTube.
It's like, we're having a party and we're drinking a keg.
There was one, a really good one.
It was like an Allman Brothers fake out.
Oh, yeah.
But it had a really funny name.
It was called like...
Making Time.
Making Time.
Like Making Georgia.
Yeah, Making Time.
It was the sound of their song, Jessica.
I'm coughing.
Jeez, Louise. Get a drink of water should we should
we just start the drink so he can wet his nose this is good this is good i would imagine people
like that maybe a little more than chewing on the mic though let me tell you one of the hosts dying
i took a covid test so i'm i don't have code but i've been coughing ever since the el paso film
festival where our film blood sweat andat and Beers was a hit.
And the director, Robert O'Geen, won El Paso Filmmaker of the Year.
And we were lauded and we were feted and we were wined and dined.
Oh, Jeff, I have a feeling you're going to have a lot of fun with that drop.
It's a good one.
That's good to have loaded.
Yes, the film festival was great.
They didn't do it, but they should have had a little standing ovation for us.
Yeah, for the stars.
Would it kill them to do one of those, the palm door?
Palm door.
They said, oh, they said it's too hot to stand.
I said, what's crazy?
We should have zapped their chairs.
They should have given me the palm da-utton.
Da-utton.
Palm da-utton.
We won the palm da-utton.
Hello, everyone.
It's time to read the palm da-utton winner, Dutz, for his album?
That's right.
Guys, I just Googled third anniversary.
You know every anniversary of a marriage, there's little gifts you give each other that are made of different things.
Yes.
Little tricks and treats.
Like, I think 25th is diamond.
Third anniversary, leather.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
So we should have dressed like leather daddies.
Well, so you're saying I got to start saving up for a diamond?
Leather for my pleasure.
Ew.
Leather.
Ooh, kinky.
Ooh, kinky stuff.
Watch your shut up.
Maybe I should bring out the leather slapper from that blowout episode.
Oh, yeah.
Bend you guys over.
Ow.
They told me one side's for noise.
Mike, you rushed home to make this podcast.
You were in a tizzy.
You were sweaty.
Now the shirt's off.
The hair's slicked back.
The shirt is gone.
I live up on the fourth floor, and I came up here, and I guess it was hot today because
my apartment is very hot.
You come up those stairs. you know, and now I'm yelling.
It's just been a week.
You do a very environmentally friendly thing when you turn your AC off when you leave your place.
Makes sense.
Why cool an empty apartment?
But here's the thing for me.
The whole point for me is to enter into that cool apartment.
I would rather have it on while I'm gone, enter, and then turn it off when I'm home.
But just to walk into the cold is the whole point.
Well, yeah, I just can't do it for 12 hours while I'm out.
But I will say this.
I do, yes, it's environmentally friendly, but I do, every time I go out, throw a tin can into the sewer grate.
Right, to make up for it.
To make up for it. See, I feed my tin cans
to goats. Yeah. And I
ain't talking LeBron.
Oh, maybe Michael
Jordan. Is it Michael Jordan, Tim?
Yeah, it's Michael Jordan. Speaking of
Michael Jordan, we got a little bit of a
surprise coming out for you guys soon.
You listeners, you listeners. Oh, okay.
For me?
No, no, no.
Nothing can surprise you at this point, I'm sure.
I've seen it all.
Yes, yes, because as Tim was alluding to,
it's three years.
Thank you.
Do you guys have any good memories?
No.
Of this?
No.
Not of this.
What about rock bottom?
Just good timing to be having this anniversary
because I feel like there's momentum.
There's times you're listening to a podcast and you're like, oh, they made an episode.
Oh, they've made another episode.
They made another episode.
This got stale.
But our podcast has crazy momentum.
And then you got us putting out albums, putting out a movie, going north carolina and playing a music festival
appearing at a film festival we are saturating culture yes yeah sort of a multimedia approach
multimedia moguls in a way if you really stopped if you actually stop to think about it yeah and
i did i am i'm thinking about right now i'm also thinking about how if people that subscribe to
our patreon they're also
in the midst of Zababovabunth and they're
listening to us talk about zombie movies.
That's another prong of
our several prong attack. That's a whole other
prong. Are you not getting all the prongs?
You're listening to the free thing? You're not getting that extra prong?
Plus, we're on social media.
That's true. Yeah.
Yet another media that we're on form thereof yes yes i'd say to answer
your question i'd say my favorite memory of the podcast was when we went to hawaii that's pretty
easy you don't say an awesome trip that was my fave yeah that was the best probably the best
little tax write-off there ever could be.
That was a good one. We had some drinks.
Jeff threw up in the ocean.
The water was fine.
Fine and dandy.
Hey, and we're almost
done. The IBA list, our initial
goal, if you remember. Yes.
International Bartenders Association.
Am I right in saying there's always
88 drinks on that list
and they change some every year?
I don't know, T.
I see some lists that-
Periodically, they change them.
I don't even know if there's 88, though.
I feel like sometimes I've seen over 100.
I'm probably thinking of the number of keys on a piano.
Yes.
Or the number of miles per hour that the flux capacitor requires.
I love geek shit.
Sure.
Or Eric Lindros' number.
Yes, sure.
Or you could be thinking of two infinity signs just vertical and right next to each other.
That's what I was thinking of, yeah.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
It kind of did take us three years to conquer that list, huh?
The IBA nobody cares about.
That was the big-
The list we're not done with yet.
The list we're not done yet.
And we also discovered
quickly after starting the pod,
nobody cares about
the International Bartenders Association.
No, bartenders haven't heard of it.
No, but they do like structure.
Wikipedia cares about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There must be form
and then no form at all.
Oh.
Where there is form,
there is also no form at all no form yes yes forms the weirdest
word to say don't you think yeah form uh we're we're getting to some weirdies too on the iba
this today's is not an iba drink but uh oh you mean tipperary yeah uh hello sir i'll have a
tipperary some interesting ones well the tipperary fans are going to love it.
There's one called the Old Cuban that sounds good, and the Spicy 50 sounds kind of cool.
No, they sound interesting, but we'll do that one on our 50th anniversary. They sound interesting.
It's just I just have never heard of them before.
You've never heard of the V-E-N-T-O?
Oh, Levento?
You've never heard of the Bloody Mary?
That's a good one.
We haven't done the Bloody Mary yet, huh?
Wow.
No.
We should do it on New Year's Day because it's sort of a brunchy day.
Kind of a brunch drink, sure.
That's good.
Yeah, and I'm a brunch bitch.
And I'm a brunch bitch.
I'm a brunch bitch, baby.
Don't mess with me.
Scratch my itch because I'm a grunch bitch.
Scratch my itch?
Scratch your itch because I'm a grunch bat. Grunch. Scratch my itch. Scratch your itch.
Nasty.
Like she, you know, if you give her some Eggs Benedict, it scratches the itch for brunch.
Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Scratch my egg itch.
Yeah, my egg itch.
Hey, wait a second.
Before we get into any booze news, I want to say,
you ever go to Say Cheese on Hyperion in Silver Lake?
North side of the street's Lowe's Fields, but the south side of the street is Silver Lake.
Say Cheese is a cheese shop.
You ever been there?
No, I've heard, though.
I've never been, but I've been to cheese shops before,
and I like to make my...
Spend a little time in there.
This cheese shop has a lot of potato chips
and fancy flavors.
This is a brand that's like Torres or Tori or
something like that that has
caviar potato chips and
foie gras potato
chips, but Prosecco, like
bubbly effervescent Prosecco potato
chips. I just
saw a bag of chips yesterday morning.
Fried egg.
Oh, I don't
know about that for me. I don't know about that
for me.
I don't think so. That's a pass.
Sulfur fart chip flavor.
Egg fart chip.
Well, Mike, you were saying
that potato chips smell like farts to you already,
so now you're adding egg to the mix?
I know. Is this what you want?
That's a no for me, dog.
So when you crack a fresh bag, you pop a bag, Mike.
You're saying P.U.? No, it's like I like me, dog. So when you crack a fresh bag, you pop a bag, Mike. You're saying P-U?
No, it's like I like it, kind of.
I'm getting off on it.
I don't know, man.
It's just a lot.
Like, it's a whole big smell.
I don't like it.
It's a whole vibe?
A whole ass vibe?
It's a whole vibe, yeah.
And in this case, the vibe is in shambles.
All right, Mike, you're a peculiar man.
Well, who said it, somebody said it best.
They said the weirdest normal person around.
The weirdest version of a normal guy.
Yep.
Oh, I wanted to say this about cheese shops.
I went to Murray.
I think it's called Murray's Cheese Shop here in New York.
I was just walking by.
I said, cheese shop. I was just walking by. It's not a cheese shop.
I got the time.
So I went in and I sort of played dumb with the person behind the counter.
I was like, what?
No, what kind?
No, is this Swiss?
You don't have many just like Swiss.
He's like, oh, this is a Swiss that you actually cut off the block.
Like, oh, interesting.
One of the few cheeses you can identify on site is Swiss.
Yeah, I know.
But I was trying to get across it like, I only see them in slices.
And he's like oh no
and i was like what about hard cheeses because this seems pretty soft he's like oh well this
is a very good hard cheese like oh yeah he's like would you like try i said um okay sure like
don't make it like don't be like yes yes of course yeah no oh i should try all these you
can bilk these people out of a pound before you leave they're fucking chumps, man. They're gullible. Yeah, well, they also,
and then if one person buys
an ounce of cheese,
they rack up what I just did.
Damn.
It's expensive,
some of this cheese.
Yeah, and the cheese game.
That math didn't work out,
of course,
but you understand what I'm saying.
Yes, of course.
Yep.
Well, did we get into
some booze news?
Yes.
Booze news yes booze news hit it
winning was getting nasty the reds had three nasty characters to prove it
hi folks hey folks what is uh they were called the nasty boys and they were the hardest throwing
bullpen in the majors oh god what oh they're dreaded flythrowing bullpen in the majors.
Uh-oh, the dreaded fly ball.
Well, the ball's in the air.
Who knows what's going to happen?
I tried, coach.
Oh, you didn't?
Oh, just take me out.
Take me out to the Bip Bip Bip Booze News Tatsumaki Senpukyaku
Take me out to the Bip Bip
was sent to us by Tommy aka
Teenage Fan Sub on our
Discord and hey if you want to befriend Tommy
go to
patreon.com slash the sloppy boys
subscribe you'll get the sloppy
boys blowout you'll get questions for Lennon
you can get access to the Discord
and be good close friends with Tommy.
And if you have a booze news theme,
email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com.
Thanks,
Tommy.
Thanks,
Tommy.
Man,
I can't believe we talked about baseball that much,
or I wonder if we just talked about baseball in a long clump and he took all
of that.
Yeah.
Just the one time.
I remember saying something about fly,
when you're in little,
in Major League Baseball,
fly ball means an automatic out
and that in Little League,
there's a fly ball and it's like,
oh shit.
Yeah, yeah.
This could go any way.
But hey, very seasonal topical
because we're in the midst of post-season baseball.
So that went perfectly
with the certain fall crisp to the air.
Who do you think is going to win?
Hey, if you say so, Tim.
Take my word for it.
Jeff, you're a non-sports fan.
Correct.
Can you name any of the teams in the playoffs right now?
Sure, the Marlins.
Oof.
They're not a team anymore.
Not even a team anymore
fuck right they're not a team anymore what about the expos no they're not a team anymore what the
fuck where are these teams going wait you knew that no i didn't they've been disappearing and
they need the nasty boys to go investigate oh no The nasty boys need to go find the hidden teams.
Wait, what are the Florida Marlins are still a team, but they're called something?
They're the Miami Marlins.
They were the Florida Marlins, now they're the Miami Marlins.
Right, right.
Okay.
I'll give you that, Jeff.
But no, they're not in the playoffs.
I don't believe it.
That's all you get out of me.
Two guesses.
Sorry.
All right.
You couldn't even say the Los Angeles Dodgers, Jeff, your home team?
No. No, I don't know. No, no. I couldn't even say the Los Angeles Dodgers, Jeff, your home team. Oh, no.
No, I don't know.
No, no, I wouldn't say it.
The Marlins, were they a wildcard team, maybe?
I feel like they were in the mix at one point.
You're in the mix.
Maybe Jeff's a baseball genius.
Anyway, let me get to the booze news, which is it's our third anniversary.
And I wanted to talk about checking in with the story we've been tracking
for nearly the run of the whole pod.
And this is very exciting.
Sorry to cut you off, Tim.
This just in, the Marlins are playing the Phillies
in the wildcard round.
If you want to date this pod.
My apologies to you, Jeff.
Date my pod.
That could be a TV show, Date My Pod.
We interview a bunch of people
who want to date our pod and we sort of
we sit back in adjudication
of them.
Can I share my fucking
story for once?
Yeah, do it.
The story we've been trying
for a long time is do you guys remember
me talking about a
documentary called uh the dawn of tiki about don the beach corner so don as we know and listeners
of this pod uh would know is that this is a guy who opened the first tiki bar like in the 30s in
la and set off the whole tiki culture craze originally set off the whole thing man and a couple years ago i talked about
how like hey here's this project uh like on instagram somebody's like crowdfunding it
and uh we didn't donate but we signal boosted did we not oh yeah we drove traffic yeah and you know
that's better than donating in a lot of cases they probably made millions it's one or the other you
can't do both well i follow them on instagram and I've been sort of checking in and be with them
being like, Hey, we met our goal and Hey, we're now we're shooting and now we're editing
and stuff.
And I checked in recently to say, Hey, what's been going on with the Dawn of Tiki movie?
And, uh, there's no release date yet, but we do have a trailer, a full trailer.
That's dope as hell.
Cause this guy's life is extremely interesting.
I've talked about him in little bits and pieces here and there and then i feel like last month i was about to do
a whole history on him but then jeff you surprised me with mitch being a guest so i just i did the
old kind of tore up my notes and threw them over my shoulder and i you know kind of in the way of
the dow i sort of followed the way and i, I'm not going to stick to the plan.
I'm going to go with what's happening on the pod.
But for anyone that wants to know about this guy, this movie is going to be awesome.
I brought, it's like a four minute trailer.
So I didn't bring the whole thing, but here's an interesting little clip that I clipped out of the trailer to give you a taste of the type of thing. What Don started doing was he started creating secrecy in the syrups and secrecy in the recipes.
Everything had a number.
Sounds like Harry Potter.
Don had mix number one, mix number two.
So nobody knew exactly what those mixes were.
Even his bartenders didn't know what was in there.
It worked. It actually worked.
And it stopped that hemorrhaging of bar talent going to other places
he's like kaiser soze people don't even know they're working for him and they don't even
know what they're doing oh my god he must have had to tell somebody
yeah he told me we should find out and take the secrecy back out of the syrups
is secrecy the syrups.
Is secrecy the syrups, the name of the doc?
That's the name of our next album, I'll tell you that much.
If you watch this trailer, you would recognize some of the talking heads in that very clip. It's like the white haired guy from the Tiki Tea, the lady that owns the Tonga Hut.
These are familiar faces talking.
Tiki Tea and Tonga Hut. from the tiki tea the lady that owns the tonga hut these are familiar faces talking tiki tea
and tonga oh timmy i was just at the tiki tea with my high school friends keith rob and oh nice did
you get a painkiller did you get a mai tai what did you order yes to both yes painkiller yes
and then also the jim's special have you had this it's like a variation on a Mai Tai. It's a little drier. I like that. And then I met Jim. He was right there.
He said, I'm Jim.
Really?
Yeah.
What a guy.
Oh, I think I know this guy.
And I'm Jeff.
Get the F away from me.
I'm going to give you a Jeff special right here.
Did I tell you that I was talking to one of the regular barfly type guys there one time
and he was like hey you got to get get a rum and coke but get it my way they do it special for me
and then i said to the bartender i was like hey i want to like a rum and coke but like his what is
it that you do for for that guy and the bartender looked at that guy and he goes, it's just a normal ramen coat. That's great.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
This guy's an idiot.
That guy was like cross-eyed drunk by me.
Like, oh, they do something real special for me.
Living in a lie, he doesn't care.
It's a few drops of piss.
It's a little bit of my piss.
Now, Tim, didn't you at some point
talk to a woman who was involved in this documentary?
Yes.
What was that?
It was the lady that owns the Tonga Hut.
I kind of sweet talked her and got us a table during the pandemic.
Oh, nice.
I bore witness.
Now, Jeff, did your friends enjoy the Tiki Tea?
Was it like, whoa, this is crazy?
Oh, my God.
It was great.
And I'll tell you what, we did the right move, which was start at the Tiki Tea. We wouldn't normally start with the strongest drinks of the
night, but here's the thing. It's a small place. It's an intimate place. It's a special place.
So you'll wait in line and you don't want to wait in line after you've been to like a bar or two.
You don't want to stop down for 20 minutes. Because you got to pee. Do the 20 minutes up top,
have a Mai Tai or two, and then continue on your way.
Yeah, baby.
On your way.
That's nice.
Continue on your way always makes me think, that phrase always makes me think of like
something in a Hobbit, Lord of the Rings-ish type world where you, like some traveler is
going into some town, like going to the tavern for some beef stew, and then I'll be on my
way.
I'll be on my way back to the ridg going to the tavern for some beef stew and then i'll be on my way i'll be on
my way back to the ridgeline of the mountains uh and then so uh that i'm just promoting that
this movie is coming out keep your eyes on on the instagram and then one last thing on the topic of
don the beachcomber remember i also said that a restaurant group last year uh had acquired the
name don the beachcomber and they
were going to be relaunching a restaurant chain called don the beachcomber and they had the rights
to the image and the name and the original drink recipes and everything well i checked back in and
i found that they are making moves three restaurants they're starting with three two of them are coming
next year but one is going to open any day in Central
Florida on the website. It says
fall 2023.
Wow. So that's now.
So keep your eyes peeled. We need some
slop heads to report back. That's great.
Yeah. Florida slops. Let's
hear it. That's exciting news, Tim, and exciting
news for cinema that there are so many
great documentaries
trying to find
distribution i know oh yeah where's do we know where this is going to be just distributed
distributed distributed that's what i would say i feel like when you crowd fund the movie then it
just i don't know doesn't it just come out to those people or or i don't know but let's say
you're a big buyer let's say you're a big buyer. Let's say you're a 24. Get the sloppy boys movie.
Get the Don Beach movie.
Send them into the IMAX multiplex.
Show the people.
They want to see.
Show the people what they want to see.
Show the people what they want to see.
Because if you get the thing, you got to show them what to see.
I have a little booze news.
You want to see it?
I have to run and get it.
Sure.
Go and get it.
That's nice. Mike will keep on saying, going to show the news. You want to see it? I have to run and get it. Sure. Go and get it. That's nice.
Me and Mike will keep on saying,
going to show the people what they want to see.
Show the people what they want to see.
Dunn Beach did the thing.
Dunn Beach did the thing.
When is that going to come out as a remix track?
I know.
I mean, I listened to the original, but not the remix track.
God, I wish Jeff would show back up.
Where's Jeff? Jeff, I miss him. I God, I wish Jeff would show back up. Where's Jeff?
Jeff, I miss him.
I'd give anything for Jeff to be back.
How you doing, Tim?
You feeling good?
You feeling right?
What is your shirt there?
Cantor's Deli.
Hey, I'm back.
No more shirt talk.
You know I don't like that.
Wait a minute.
How'd you hear that?
Cantor's Deli.
It's kind of deli talk, too, though.
I'll allow it.
If you really think about it.
All right, this came up on Booze News.
I don't know if we ever followed up, but check me out.
Oh, okay.
Check out what I found.
Ready?
I'm going to do a little slow reveal here for the camera.
Jack Daniels Coca-Cola Jack and Coke can.
In a can.
Jefferson.
I saw those the other day, and I meant to bring it up.
Those look...
Have you had one?
I have, and I'm going to do a live sip and just sort of pretend that I'm just sipping for the first time.
It looks cool.
Ooh, 7% alcohol.
Very good.
You'd think they just added Jack and Coke, but here's the problem, folks.
Somehow, someway, a little too sweet.
Of course.
Of course.
I could see if Coke was saying like, hey, we're gonna do
Jack Daniel's or Coke. It's gonna be more Coke.
Like, it's specifically like more
Coke syrup. You know what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm. Right. They had to
bungle it. And it's this annoying thing where that definitely
needs to be good as it be poured out onto
ice, but then the whole convenience was getting
into the can. And you're just gonna dilute
it. Eh, I don't know.
So yeah, I will sit here and sip it.
But, uh, you fucked up,
Coke.
Anyway, is that it for Booze News?
Wrap it up.
Ooh!
Booze News.
Was that used
was that in a birthday boy sketch
I think it might have been
when we go
I think it's when we go to the NAACP
for our NAACP award
oh yeah that's right
well well well
third anniversary
you say, yes?
We say.
Yes, sort of the vibe here.
Well, today we're doing a very celebratory drink.
I had it, the first time I had it or heard of it was on my 21st birthday or thereabouts.
A shot, it's a shot now, you understand?
Called the Three Wise Men.
Yeah, lightning. understand called the three wise men yeah lightning now before we talk about i'll tell you what's in it so we can uh chit chat about it is whoa let me find it here whoa
boom boom boom let me hear you say way ho okay it's called the three wise men half ounce
okay it's called the three wise men half ounce boom boom boom let me say way oh that's one of my favorite web videos i love that girl i was just i was just showing that to somebody at work
the other day they hadn't seen it it was i think we watched the full three minute video it was
great come on guys come on guys let me hear you say way ho i also like mike i like you keeping
it upbeat here because last time you presented a drink, you got kind of angry and you were yelling at Wikipedia.
But so now this time you're keeping it jovial.
I like that.
Yeah.
I listened back to the tape and I had to bury my hand in my face.
I said, what am I doing?
I'm with my friends.
This is my fun job.
This is so fun.
Why am I?
These guys don't care if I get some things wrong or it takes me a second to find my notes.
They love it.
They got my back.
And the audience got my back too.
Our audience is all
ride or dies.
I love that about them and they love that about us
because we arrive or die with them too.
Ingredients.
Half ounce Johnny Walker Scotch Whiskey.
Half ounce Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey. ingredients half ounce johnny walker scotch whiskey half ounce jack daniels tennessee whiskey
half ounce jim beam bourbon whiskey you take all those things you put them in a shaker
with ice you shake them and then you put them into a shot glass and you do it as a shot
wow i got red label because it was cheaper jeff i I saw you have black label Johnny Walker. Yeah, just what I had.
I saw it to use red as well.
Yeah, I don't think it's really going to matter.
It's going to be mixed in with two other potent whiskeys.
This is the price point.
This is such a simple recipe.
I'm on thespruceats.com.
And number one is gather the ingredients.
That's step one?
Yeah, because it's such an easy.
Go all around town.
I bet you don't even have to put it in a shaker.
It's just, I mean, I know you don't, but it's like, we can't just say pour into a glass and drink.
Combine them.
I like a chilled shot, though.
I mean, this is just going to, it's three whiskeys.
It's just going to taste like whiskey, but chilling a shot turns it into something.
But chilling a shot, I chilled tequila all the time.
Never chilled whiskey in my damn life.
Me neither.
I got my three whiskeys chilling at the moment as we speak.
And also, when you hear about it, it's like, whoa, all three of those?
But it's still just a shot glass.
But what happens when you mix all those rums for a tiki?
Magic.
Magic.
There's some alchemy.
Magic occurs.
There's a strength multiplier.
We're going to taste.
I'm wondering if we're going to taste.
Ooh, there's the bourbon.
Ooh, there's the Tennessee.
Ooh, there's the scotch whiskey. Ooh. Ooh, there's the bourbon. Oh, there's the Tennessee. Oh, there's the scotch whiskey.
Oh, there's a little Jim.
Oh, and a little Jack.
I'm getting a hint of scotch.
Now, Mike, you said chilled.
Is your whiskey in the freezer right now?
It's in the freezer.
Are you going to shake it on ice there?
Are you going to dilute?
I'm going to shake it on ice.
So when you shake, your cubes are going to melt less.
So you might have a little bit stiffer shot than me and Jeff,
who will be shaking up warm room temp whiskey and taking a little more dilution off of those cubes.
This is not going to be a good scene for me because I had very little to eat today.
Hmm.
And you know how.
Keto?
No, just busy day and didn't have much time.
I had sandwich.
I had an egg sandwich in the morning, a half a sandwich in the afternoon, a brownie, and half a Reese's Cup.
Ooh, sweet tooth.
Do you order restaurant lunch or are you provided like cafeteria lunch?
Today was provided by somebody sent it in.
I forget who, but I'll just get cafeteria because there's
a cafeteria there at
30 Rock.
Or I will sometimes go out for a burrito.
I miss cafeterias, Mike. I'm glad you get to have that
experience. It's fun. It's nice.
That's cool. Sometimes I go to the salad bar.
They just weigh how much you put in the box.
Yeah.
Give me this.
That's 15 ounces of food.
So this, yes.
Let me tell you, the first time I heard about this, I had just turned 21 at Ithaca College.
Yep.
And I don't think it was the day of my birthday, but my brother came down that weekend.
And I was the first one who turned 21 of our friends.
So no one could go to the bars except
me so my brother and i went to a bar and he's like you're gonna know three wise men and it was
also funny because like we were in a bar with a bunch of people who uh they were all seniors i
was a junior and you know i don't know any of the seniors i'd never been this bar so it was just like
he and i kind of talking while other people were having a party like saying hi to each other so we did it i had a lot it tasted good but i mean it tasted like
it was disgusting because i was a newbie to drinking had never had a an ounce of liquor
before my life wink wink mike and uh we had it and it stuck with me and i it's i uh the history
on this drink is there isn't much one but the articles i read said you know it's around that dark ages assumed it's around that dark ages
where where uh people just invented uh drinks that had funny names like the slippery nipple
or sex on the beach or the uh what are some of the other ones the kamikaze shot probably was around
that blowjob shot yeah it's just people like like, let's make it fun and have fun at night.
So I like this idea.
And I'm excited to drink.
When you guys take shots with a group,
do you clink and then thunk on the table
and then go up?
You ever do that?
Clink, thunk.
Well, we talked about it.
I do it.
Yes, I do do it.
After I ask somebody what it's all about,
and people have different reasons for why they do it,
but yeah, I do it too.
I often miss the thunk.
What was your reason?
My reason is for the bar.
I heard people say, you do it for the bar and the bartenders.
Why do they care?
I don't know.
But some people do it, like military people do it for their people and their-
Comrades.
Other comrades.
Some people do it for firemen.
Some people do it for whatever. Anything. Some people do it for whatever,
anything,
anything you want.
You have your own reason.
This one's for my old daddy.
I always,
my old daddy.
I do it for Zababoo's.
Yeah.
I love them because they're funny.
You tap it down,
it comes up green.
What the fuck?
Zabba.
This thing turned into a Zaba.
Now, so it's pretty simple.
It's pretty straightforward.
But it does have some fun little variations.
Oh.
So a Three Wise Men Go Hunting is those guys.
And Wild Turkey Bourbon.
Oh.
Oh, additional.
So four.
Yeah.
Wow.
And then Three Wise Men Visit Mexico is made with Jose Cuervo.
Yeah, I was going to say.
I saw a bunch of Cuervos.
Yeah, they visit Mexico.
Well, you could have fun.
You could make up a ton of them.
You could be the Three Wise Men Go Up Into the Banana Factory.
Yeah.
I'd say Three Wise Men take a
bath in DeSorono.
There's just much more DeSorono
in that one.
The Three Wise Men finish a pizza and there's a crust
in there.
Dunk your crust. That's a drink.
Dunk your fucking crust. You think you're so fucking smart.
No, I don't think I'm that smart.
So that's it.
Let's do it up.
Damn, that sounds so good, Mike.
This is going to be tough.
I think I'm going to do a shot.
I'm going to bring a beer along with me with this shot because I don't think I'm going
to be doing shot after shot on this pod today.
Yeah, I don't know.
And also, this could be a drink you just throw on ice in a coupe glass.
A sipper.
A sipper.
Yeah, sure.
A sipper.
A sweet sipper.
What was a southern sipper?
I was just telling our buddy Haskell about drinks we made on this pod.
That's mine.
I invented it.
Ugh.
It's a Calpacus original.
You know, it's peach schnapps and what is it?
Rye and patient?
Yeah. Packers original. You know, it's peach schnapps and what is it? Rye and Peychaud's?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's equal parts whiskey and peach schnapps and then a couple of dashes of Peychaud's
bitters.
It's divine.
A little.
It was good though, right?
It wasn't like the Grimace piss where there was mixed reviews.
What did you guys say?
That was a fun moment.
Surprisingly, my drink that I put a lot of thought and care into and taste tested,
my drink was better than the drink that you invented theoretically
and drank it for the first time.
Of course, of course, we all agreed this was a communal drink we all made up.
My name got tacked on to it in just a moment.
Yeah, you were the fall guy for that.
Yeah, I was the fall guy.
Is that what a
straw man is that you know a straw man is when you make like a fake opponent in an argument to
sound like a fake argument that you know you could be oh yeah oh slender man yeah you're the slender
man scapegoat fall guy fall guy southern sipper we liked. Yeah. That was good. I invented it and it was amazing.
I know you invented it. I get that.
But my point
is this.
What did you two say? One of you said when we did
the Grimace Piss, it was like
not in order again and not even
think of it. Don't even order
in the first place.
Don't order in the first place.
I remember that. The initial reaction
sipping the Grimace Pist
was just laughter.
It was good.
If you're a sweet tooth,
you're going to love
the Grimace Pist.
Go back and listen
to that episode.
All right.
But for now,
but for now,
we're talking.
You know what I want?
Okay, okay.
I'm going to bring this up
after we do our shot.
After coming up,
this is whatever
Hanford just thought of.
But for now, hey, folks, we're going to go make these three wise men.
And you can stay tuned and listen to the ads.
Yeah.
Oh, you're going to hear.
We're going to make our three wise men.
And you're going to hear soon three wise men talking to you.
We'll be right back. and we're back with three wise men the three wise uh yes but why don't you mention the drink
god oh god um look at this teetering right on the top with surface tension.
I know.
I know.
It's like a little beer with foam on it.
It is.
Hey, what's your favorite wise man?
You know what?
You're not going to believe this.
Probably Jack.
Yeah.
Probably Johnny Walker.
I was going to say, I know he's picking Jim, right?
No.
Does anybody go Jim Beam? I would go Jim over. I'm not a scotch guy. I like bourbon, Yeah I was gonna say Nobody's picking Jim right No Does anybody go Jim Beam
I would go Jim over
I'm not a scotch guy
I like bourbon
So I go Jack or Jim
Yeah
And I know Jack says
Kentucky whiskey
But I looked it up
And it's pretty much
The same as bourbon
But they choose to go
By Kentucky whiskey
Yeah
They're kind of
Trying to make their own lane
Tennessee whiskey
I mean fuck
Tennessee
Oh
My DMs are gonna be
A shit show
But like look
That's a fake distinction.
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
All right, here we go.
Shooting it?
Hey, bottoms up.
Hey.
To three years.
Salud.
Salud.
Clink.
Bump.
And one for the bar.
One for the Zababoos down the hatch.
One for the firemen.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
Chilled, chilled, chilled.
Okay.
That was a pretty easy shot to do.
Chilled.
Catching up to me now a little bit, though.
Yeah.
You got away with that one, huh?
No way.
Yeah.
Yep, yep, yep.
I did that.
Okay. that one huh no way yeah yep yep yep i did that um you know it's still it's a a shot to hot shot
but that's uh goes down smoother than warm whiskey that wasn't diluted at all yeah sure
yeah now are the three whiskeys coming together to become greater than the sum of their parts
yeah i don't know i can't i can't tell i thought i was good i was hoping for getting some like
different uh different tastes going but it's all kind of the same thing to me.
Tastes like wet whiskey.
Yeah.
And I don't know these enough to be like, ooh, yes, it tastes more like...
Well, I would say like Johnny Walker is one that I started doing like, ooh, Johnny Walker is a good whiskey.
I should start buying that.
Like in the wake of Birthday Boys, I would just johnny walker on the rocks um but i
don't love it i would go probably jack over that but i could pick out i could pick jack i could
pick out johnny walker over jack oh yeah a taste test would be interesting you would you definitely
i mean johnny walker tastes a lot different than the other two to me because it's got that. Peaty.
Peaty.
Yeah, that scotchy scotch.
I love scotch.
Ron Burgundy, let me off at the top.
Today was not a good day to be choosing milk.
Right, right, right.
Milk for me on this day.
You got it.
Not the best choice for me.
Good for me.
There are other beverages I could have chosen.
In Act 1, Tim, you said something, he got the whole thing started,
and I said, he got the whole thing started.
That comes from, if you saw a couple years ago on the Golden Globes.
They all know, Mike, but yeah, go ahead and tell them. They do know.
No, no, no way.
Have we said this before?
Jeff Bridges won like a
Cecil B. DeMille award or something
Lifetime Achievement Award
and he goes
up and gives the funniest speech
he's like naming just names all these people
I think I think got the whole thing
started was his first
movie I forget the director but he was like yeah
he got he kicked off the whole thing
he got the whole thing started man he kicked off the whole thing but look it up on youtube just jeff
bridges golden globes he talks for like 20 minutes people are like laughing at him because he's he's
just not laughing at him but like with him he's naming all these names it's very funny yeah chris
pine is on stage just sort of like laughing at everything he's saying he's like so tickled by it i saw a movie oh i saw this movie year of the dragon i want to say yes yes it's a um young
mickey rourke movie and um anytime i see because michael chimino is just like a writer and director
from uh the 70s yeah that's like but but to us it was the funniest because he was rambling on
like different names that nobody knew and he got really excited for like oh michael germino and he could have said anything but
we really grabbed on to michael germino oh pete cadlin
it's good look it up look it up this drink though i'm kind of confused because i can't
parse out the flavors it just yeah punches you boom there's really no there's no re it's the
not it's a novelty drink you're saying three wise men and and us being three wise podcasters on our
third anniversary it's then it's quite novel indeed it's novel maybe maybe the four horsemen
was another one where you add another i think uh jack is it a horse theme? No, it's just another whiskey.
What would another one be?
Johnny Walker.
Bullet.
Jameson.
Oh, Jameson.
Because it's like another name.
That's a different taste.
That's an Irish whiskey.
I've heard people talk about Three Wise Men Take a Bath in DeSarono.
Is that one?
That's kind of a popular one.
Yeah.
I'm seeing that now on the something, the IMDB list.
Why is it all J names? Why is it all Jack, Jim, Johnny Jameson?
I think it's just because it's names.
And Jose is also a J.
Yeah.
That is interesting, Jeff.
It's sort of like how all the cartoon cats have old names and they all have orange stripes.
Oh, yeah. What the hell happened to Coolidge?
Coolidge.
Yeah, we're working on it.
Everyone talks about Garfield.
Everyone talks about Heathcliff,
but no one talks about the other orange cat
with a old-timey president name.
Mm-hmm.
Coolidge.
Coolidge.
Coolidge the Coolidge.
What was his catchphrase?
I'm here too or something like that? It's like, what's it to you?
It's like, I'm doing it this way.
Like, out of my way.
Yes, I'm sure it's out there somewhere.
We were supposed to launch a whole t-shirt line of those, and we kind of crapped up.
Well, we got busy with the album launch and the movie launch.
And at some point, you just can't do it all.
Right.
Yeah.
Because then the work suffers.
You don't want to expand too fast, spread too thin.
And that's when Coolidge suffers.
Yeah, that's when your t-shirt ideas shuffer.
Shuffer.
That's when your t-shirt ideas shuffer.
Your t-shirt shuffer.
Okay, the three wise men have moved into my brain permanently.
Ooh.
Oh, this is what I was going to say before the break.
We should, here's a hashtag people can tag us on.
It's the three-year anniversary.
We want to hear what your favorite episode was.
I like that.
I was going to say.
And maybe why.
I don't know.
Say why.
Your favorite moment.
And also, look back and tell us that, but also look forward and say,
what do you want to see more of on the pod?
What do you want to see less of on the pod?
Oh, yeah. What do you like? What don't you like? I mean, what do you want to see more of on the pod? What do you want to see less of on the pod? Oh, yeah.
What do you like?
What don't you like?
I mean, we're not going to necessarily change anything, but.
We're not doing anything different, but we are interested.
Probably a lot of people out there, I love booze news.
I don't love the drink of the day.
That'd be a good episode.
Just all booze news.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oops, all booze news.
We should do, you know how, like.
All shit chat.
The Daily Show did, like, Indecision, whatever the election year was.
We should do one of those for election, the election year.
That would be awful, us having to do election coverage.
We tried to do like a Karnacki, whatever touch screen he has.
No.
We couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.
Man, I'm not ready for an election year. Are you guys ready to
watch a whole election and then
snark the competition?
This guy's laughably bad. No!
That guy's laughably bad! Oh my
God! Tim, it's gonna be a circus
this year, or next year. I just
know it. I just know it.
I just know it.
And I'll probably need a couple four horsemen to get through it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What about three wise men taking a bath in DeSarono?
Yeah, that could be something.
What's it called when you lose a lot?
They say when you lose a lot of money on an investment, you took a bath.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know where that comes from.
I say sometimes if I get a whole bunch of warm water and some suds and I lay naked in it,
I'm like, oh, I took a bath on that one.
I'm going to go lose some money in the bathroom.
And it's a good thing because to me, taking a bath is good.
Oh, you love baths.
Yeah.
Right.
That's probably your favorite blowout.
Anybody who listens to the blowout knows that we famously took a bath.
Not together.
We took our own bath.
Didn't you have orange slices
in your bath? Yes, of course. I did the whole night.
You did? Of course. Yes.
I know you did a bath bomb and that stuff, but orange
slices. Candles. Oranges.
Well, didn't
salt. Didn't some of the citric acid
get in your, you know.
My urethra?
Yes. Yes? Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
It stings to this day.
But wait, there's a,
I wanted to talk about why does it,
you shouldn't be able to say,
you shouldn't say, oh, I took a bath
and that's bad and that's negative.
Right, right, right.
No, that's not good.
Should be good.
We should be encouraging bathing for hygiene for the next generation.
Taking a bath should be good.
I won some money at the casino.
Yeah, I see.
I'm out there.
I've met a lot of stinky Gen Zers.
Let's go, guys.
Like, hey, I invested a lot in Yahoo before it blew up, and boy, did I take a bath.
Exactly.
I enjoyed a bath on that deal.
A nice steamy bath.
I relaxed with my cash.
Hey, what would you change about the pod?
About the pod?
About the pod.
Wow.
Oh.
I'd keep the hosts exactly the same.
Maybe a different subject.
Just get rid of the booze entirely i mean we can still drink
we just don't have to talk about it oh wait did you just say just we can drink
whoa nice is that a seltzer thanks for that sound effect ad uh no this is a drink this is remember
i went to that um a trivia night at this brewery in Queens called Single Cut. It's
an IPA called
Weird and
Gilly.
You know what's great in Queens?
Remember we went to that
Bohemian Beer Garden.
Beer Hall. Yeah, I should do that this October.
Hell of a place.
It was called Bohemian.
You had it.
I loved it
I met Mike DeCenzo there
What the fuck is all this shit
Wait
Where's the beer garden I went to
Is that just the High Line
That's probably
A little more basic maybe
There's yeah like
The Standard Hotel
Near the High Line
Yeah probably that one
But that's like a garden
You know
Sure
It's outdoor isn't it
Hey there's flour in there But that's like a garden, you know? Sure. It's outdoor, isn't it? Shoot.
Hey, there's flour in there.
Well, don't dodge the question, Tim.
What would you change about the pod?
Well, well, well, well, well, I would say well less.
But I would say that you got three podcasters, right?
So they would each be talking one third of the time, you would think.
But sometimes I'll skip.
You know, there's that little skip ahead button on your phone.
30 seconds, 30 seconds.
I'll be skipping through a podcast and I hear my voice and I skip and I hear my voice and I skip and I hear my voice.
And I'll skip all the way through it.
Maybe one or two Hanford's squeaked in there.
But there's a lot of the T-man windbagging.
So here's what I would say.
For year four, I'm going to try to not speak past my one-third quota.
Tim.
Well, this is still year...
We're going into year three, right?
So you can still do this.
That's the name of the game is windbagging.
I wouldn't change a damn thing about that.
Yeah, you're stretching us to...
Hey, we're at 52 minutes
right now. Hey, you know what I would change?
You know what I would change? I think we
would all agree. The listenership.
Shrink it or grow it. I wouldn't mind
a more affluent, clean towel.
I wouldn't mind getting
a couple more of them.
You know?
I would like to boil it down,
cut a few toxic ones out,
boil it down to the good ones.
And because there's some,
Mike,
you know,
some that aren't,
they're just not loyal.
Yeah.
There are people,
I've heard other people,
people who listen to other podcasts.
Yeah,
see,
because I go onto the Discord
and they're talking about
Teacher's Lounge.
That's rude.
If you listen to the Sloppy Boys, you can't be listening to fucking flagrant ones.
No.
Somebody invites you over to dinner.
You eat half and then go over to someone else's house to eat the other half.
What's the matter with you?
That's fucked up.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I don't like it.
You listen to the sloppy boys, then you turn your phone off, and then you go to bed.
I don't care what time it is.
You wake up tomorrow and listen to the Sloppy Boys again.
And if you're out of episodes, you wait one week and you power your phone back on.
But I listen to the Sloppy Boys on the way to work.
Guess what?
You're not going to work.
Day off.
Find a new job.
You're fucking fired for being stupid.
Oh yeah.
This is a good drink.
Okay.
We do have,
we should,
we should do another round.
Yeah,
sure.
Do we tweak?
Can I tell you what I'm going to do?
Yeah.
I'm going to do just one shot of one of the,
I'm going to do a shot of Jim Beam.
That's,
I feel like I haven't had just a shot of that before. That's good. Maybe I have. Are you going to chill it? You're going to do just one shot of one of them. I'm going to do a shot of Jim Beam. I feel like I haven't had just a shot of that before.
That's good.
Maybe I have.
Are you going to chill it?
Are you going to chill it or no?
Yeah, I'll shake it up.
Maybe I'll just do not chilled or chill it and just sip it rather than shoot it.
Oh, you could put it on the rocks.
Rocks?
I'm going to do three wise men on the rocks.
I like that.
Me too.
But also, though, I'm going to bring each of the bottles and just kind of sip as I want to.
Yeah, I'm going to pop one of them up my butt and the other one down my throat and one in the ear.
You're just spinning around in one of those gyrosphere things.
All right, folks.
We're going to go ready those drinks, that second round.
And I want you to listen to these zaps.
Pull out your wallets. Open up your ears. that second round. And why don't you listen to these zaps,
pull out your wallets,
open up your ears,
and we'll be right back.
And we're back, folks,
with our second round of Three Wise Men.
Yahoo!
Check it out.
Three cubes.
Rocks, baby. This is good, because now I can taste the flavor profiles.
Wow.
That Jim Beam on its own is funky.
That's kind of like the cheapy one, no?
I think of the three, I would say that's the cheaper.
Or like it sounds, it feels like the most like-
Slightly. I mean, those are all-
Yeah.
Like those are like all-
Yeah.
Mid-shelf, like those are like the Coca-Colas of-
Yeah. Jim Beam and Jack seem to be around the same level.
But Jim Beam is like the most like 80s uncle.
I do notice Jim is usually a couple dollars cheaper than Jack, but yeah, they're like direct competitors.
And Johnny Walker is somewhat elevated.
More regal.
Yeah, more regal.
But there's also the different label colors on, like Johnny Walker, red is cheap, black is expensive, and then blue, I think, is the very expensive one.
Super expensive.
But Jim Beam feels like, you know, Woods beer, but the liquor version.
Yeah.
It was tough to find a nip of that.
I had to get like a small hip flask style. Woods beer, but the liquor version. Yeah. It was tough to find a nip of that.
I had to get like a small hip flask style.
I got nips at Los Feliz Liquors.
The fuck?
Oh, that's nice.
I got my Johnny and Jack on the way home tonight.
And I was buying them and I said to the guy, I was like, oh, it's going to be a gonna be a long night and he had fun with it hey it's funny you can do that you can do both those names with the
same voice johnny jack oh yeah yeah because jack says johnny you have to clip off the here's yeah
you do yeah but it works you have to clip off the here's clip off the here's for the pod it's good for the pod johnny jack i'm jack and one time in a film i said
johnny
ah very good very good and i bet you we can find somewhere where he says
jim probably you mean to tell me jack nicholson doesn't say jim in any movies
he's never been recorded on film 35 millimeter film saying the name jim i bet in
the outtakes of uh uh terms of endearment he would say jim brooks was that a good take oh
it's good or like or like hey we're about to shoot hold on to this slim Jim for me.
Which is allowed because we trimmed off the years before Johnny,
so we can trip off the slim Jim. You trim all that too.
It's allowed.
Yep.
There's precedent.
I can't come to set right now.
I'm watching my favorite show, The Office, and my favorite character, Creed.
You like Creed?
Oh, God. Dude's a great. Dude's a great creed's a funny character i like creed
and also hey hey let's bring it let's let's just tell the people let's just let's just admit it
we stayed up late watching the office in el paso at the airbnb and it's good i'm currently going
through the office i've seen it before but I've started at the beginning.
And I'm on season five, and I brought
these guys into my world.
It's great. It's funny.
It's great. We gotta have
apparently Kid on.
He's probably 21 now. When he can
drink, we're gonna give him a, we're gonna buy him
a Three Wise Men shot.
Apparently, Kid, if you hear this,
come on the pod, defend yourself.
I'd love to have one.
I can't tell. I'm sipping this and I'm like,
am I even looking for the different tastes or is that a fool's errand? It's just sort of
like, this tastes like whiskey. Yeah, I think
it's just a whiskey on the rocks. And that's it.
And that is all
she wrote.
Now, real quick, I just want to
see. Remember when I invented a drink called the captain
jack there was captain morgan and jack daniels mixed together on the rocks i was drinking them
at the christmas party funny or die probably 2010 2011 got so blotto that i barfed don't love that
now you didn't you didn't throw up like a bunch of cheese hot dogs, did you?
Yes, because it was a night where it was catered by both In-N-Out Burger and Pink's Hot Dogs.
I had had a cheeseburger and I had had a chili dog and I barfed them both up, so.
I tell you what, I could go for a chili dog right about now.
What are you, Sonic the Hedgehog?
Suck it on, chili dog.
I got a question for you.
Is Sonic a chili?
Does he eat chili?
Yeah, he famously loves chili dogs.
Is that real?
Yeah.
No.
It's maybe the third or fourth most important fact about him.
What are the other two?
Well, he's fast.
He's fast, first of all.
That shouldn't even be one of them.
He collects rings.
He does rings.
But wait, Tim.
He does rings.
What I liked about that was that you were just ordering it as a captain jack and then explained to the
bartender right like you were trying to get it going yeah i would ask for it to see if they
would get it and they didn't and then i'd explain and they go oh okay like right this is a comedy
party people are trying to be funny this guy's's completely hilarious. Well, I'd love to hear your final thoughts on this drink.
Final thoughts for me.
This is a fun little shot.
I don't think it tastes...
It doesn't taste...
If you like whiskey, you'll like this shot.
If you don't like whiskey, you won't like this shot.
But it's a fun little...
Three Wisemen.
Why is it called that?
Oh, this, this, and this.
Oh, I love it.
I get it.
Three Wisemen. Wiseman. Like Jake Wisemen. Why is it called that? Oh, this, this, and this. Oh, I love it. I get it. Three Wisemen.
Wiseman.
Like Jake Wiseman.
Who is that motherfucker?
The comedian.
Oh, from, yes, from corporate.
But anyway, this is an okay drink.
Should you do it?
I guess you should just to celebrate the boys.
You got to celebrate the boys.
Get some of your, you got to celebrate the sloppy boys.
Get two friends together.
Right, because like we said, we want to boost the listenership, kind of goose it.
Well, it's also fine too.
You bring the Jim, you bring the Jack.
I got the Johnny.
Yeah.
If you're bringing your friends together, you get the more expensive one.
I got the Johnny.
I got the Johnny. I got the Johnny.
The Johnny Walker.
Yeah.
Tim.
It's weird that Jim is Jim and he's not James.
It's an order again for me.
That's my final answer.
Yeah, it's an order again.
Dog.
It's an order again.
I'm shocked.
On what grounds?
It's fun?
Yeah.
Because it's not a not order again. You know what I mean? Right. I guess it's a yeah because because it's not a not order again you know what i mean
right i guess it's a fun novelty do it once and you say we did this we did this once i mean there's
no just in case anyone's listening and they don't have these drinks don't feel bad you don't got
them don't do nothing but yeah you're not missing anything kind of funny do it because it's kind of
funny do it once once is enough do it once you know what this reminds
me of kind of not kind of no basis for reminding me of this you remember um el chavo el chavito
yeah that was that was a great place a beloved bandera shot beloved east side bar yeah bandera
shots they would come out like a traffic light unlike this they come out in three shot glasses
red clear and green what were the different what were the shots chartreuse like a traffic light is
red and clear and green yeah yeah uh it was it was like spicy tomato lime juice and tequila oh
right oh yeah and you go down the line but it would come out on like a little pallet, like a flight.
And then when you would order one, it would set it down.
It would just set off a chain reaction because people would go, oh.
What's that?
What's that?
I want that.
I want that.
It's a head turner.
I want to be the talk of the party.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And you will be, my dear, if you buy this drink.
I want to be completely dynamic.
How would you do that, though?
Just do one, then the next one, then the next one? Yes. It's the way that when you take a shot, you do salt, shot, lime. Oh, buy this drink. That would be completely dynamic. How would you do that, though? Just do one, then the next one, then the next one?
Yes, it's the way that when you take a shot, you do salt, shot, lime.
Oh, yes.
This you do like tomato, shot, lime.
Bing, bang, boom.
I love flights.
I think those are fun.
I agree.
I love that bar, but there was one bartender I hated who would purposely keep his eyes down,
never look up while he's working on a drink, and then when he's completely done, he'd look up and you have to get his attention.
But my whole thing is I just want eye contact and say, he'll be with you in a second.
Or even just a wink.
I've witnessed it.
But this guy purposely, look at his fucking shoes.
I wanted to fucking give him an old knuckle sandwich.
This guy thinks he's in a shoegaze band this guy thinks he's in my bloody valentine or
something no right right right right right right this guy thinks he's in les mis look down look
down no this guy needs to think that he is kid cuddy in adam mckay's latest film film. And look up. And look up.
I would say he needs to be a hilarious BBC
comedian and look around you.
Oh, that's the best of all,
Tim. That's good, that's good.
That's good.
You know what I would like to say now?
Oh, when we were in El Paso.
Sure. I did something I think was a
faux pas, but the
bar staff
was very nice and accommodating to us.
And we bought a bunch of drinks, so I don't
think it mattered. But a waitress,
we were sitting at a table, waitress coming around
and giving our orders.
I, at one point, they weren't coming around for a while,
the bar was filling up, and I went over to the bar
and ordered drinks, and I said, we weren't coming around for a while. The bar was filling up. And I went over to the bar and ordered drinks.
And I said, we're sitting over there.
Yeah.
And I think that's kind of a faux pas.
I don't think you're supposed to do that.
But I helped them bring the drinks over.
It was just trying to get going quicker.
No, I mean, I think, like, there are uptight bars in LA and New York where they're like, we don't do that. But, like, I think cool bars are down to roll with it.
Yeah.
And that was a cool bar. Tap and that was a cool bar. Tap.
It was a cool bar. Tap, the best fucking bar.
That place was sick. Oh my god.
Yeah, that was cool. The best nachos in the world
at Tap in El Paso. Tap
in El Paso. Tell them, Tim.
Why were they the best?
Okay, folks. Now, our director
Robert O'Geen had given us a little heads up.
They got great nachos here. And I thought, yeah,
yeah, yeah, I've had great nachos. But I was picturing nachos
like you know them, you love them,
big pile of nachos. No, this
place had large
nachos because instead of cutting a tortilla
into little wedges, they were
basically just cutting a tortilla in half and
frying it. So it was like a half moon, you know,
half circle. Then
these nachos folks, so they're big
chips, they're laid out on the plate individually
dressed so the cook was making sure that there's cheese peppers brisket on each chip dressed them
each chip almost you felt like you were reaching for a small slice of pizza with toppings all over
it nicely dispersed nicely dispersed yeah how many times have you gotten the nachos only to find a big pile of dry nachos in the middle?
Yes, yes.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
They thought of everything.
Loved it.
You must be thinking, oh, probably a small plate, though.
Probably a small tray.
Nope.
Nope.
Nice big tray.
Big.
Spread them out.
Big stuff.
Yep.
Mr. Big stuff.
When you walk into the tap, you go, ooh, decor is pretty nice in here.
Nice big red booths.
Ooh, I'm walking past the bar.
Ooh, is this a dance floor?
They have a little dance floor with a disco ball?
And what's that in the way back?
Pool.
Pool table.
Pool.
Pool's fun.
Billiards.
You know they got touch tunes on the jukebox.
You can't play the Sloppy Boys yet.
Ah. That's why we need you
also some el paso locals bought us some shots they said that they're like this is i'm the only
getting el paso they said the name of the shot i didn't recognize it was a kind of spanish word
started with a p and then it was like a watermelon schnapps it had tahini on the rim do you guys
remember this did you get this? Have you seen this?
Oh, I didn't have that.
I think I had probably left already.
It was a large, large shot
with watermelon schnapps and tahini,
and it was fun.
That's good.
Also, we got shots from somebody else,
mezcal shots,
and I thought they were coming from another couple
who had said hello to me before the screening. They saw the screening, shots and I thought they were coming from another couple who
said hello to me before the screening.
They saw the screening and I
met them. And I thought they were at
this bar. They so happened to be at this bar.
I thought they came from them so I was waving. I was like,
come on over here. Let's do the shots.
And then I realized it wasn't them.
And you were the weird one,
Mike. I was weird that day.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media, at The Sloppy Boys,
where we release these recipes ahead of time.
And if you can't get enough of us boys,
you know it's patreon.com slash thesloppyboys.
That's where you can unlock the bonus weekly episode,
The Sloppy Boys Blowout,
where we talk about other stuff that's not booze.
Other stuff like...
Zop-a-woofers. like... Zobberwoofers.
Zobberwoofers.
Like Dawn of the Dead, 1978, George A. Romero.
Good episode, dudes.
Love film, love Zobbers.
Hey, good year.
Good year, good three years.
Here's to three more.
And that is it.
Uh, yes. Bye, to three more. And that is it. Uh, yes.
Bye, folks.
Yes! We love you.
Wait, can I say something real fast? Can I say something really fast? Do it. Now's the
time to do it. As long as it's fast.
Mookie told me that Alan Michaels has
never eaten a vegetable. Okay, goodbye.
Okay, we will get into that
next episode. That might be a whole damn
blowout. Give it up for your boys.
Bye, folks.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys