The Sloppy Boys - 167. Bloody Mary
Episode Date: December 29, 2023The guys honor the king of the brunch drinks! Invented as early as 1921, this spicy-tomato-and-vodka concoction has become a favorite hangover cure worldwide.1.5oz/45ml VODKA 3oz/90ml TOMATO JUIC...E.5oz/15ml LEMON JUICE2 dashes WORCESTERSHIREto taste TABASCO, PEPPER, CELERY SALTStir ingredients gently in a mixing glass with ice and pour into rocks glass. If requested served with ice, pour into highball glass.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association I www.iba-world.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you
love.
I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford.
Ooh, goodbye 2023, almost.
Bye bye.
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up but in a way hello 2024 in a way oh tim you bring up a good point stylies stylies in a way yes yes this is awesome kick fucking ass dude
awesome old year sucks new year's cool oh. Oh yeah. Isn't it like,
uh,
it's become now in these,
uh,
what I like to call dumpster fire times.
Thank you.
Um,
that,
uh,
like every year it's like,
Ooh,
finally that year's a 2021 is over 2022.
Yeah.
And it's like,
everyone's got that meme of,
uh,
like me 2023 and it's all busted up. 2024 is like brand new.
I know. And it's funny.
Cause we had a couple of years where that was like justified for something to
be universal. But I remember lots of people memes about good riddance,
2019. And we were all like, yeah, that did kind of,
kind of suck a little bit yeah yeah but then
then we had two years of like objectively bad and then yeah i've been seeing him again where it's
like me like 2023 fucking sucked and i'm like possibly but that's not really there's no like
there's no uh no one to pin it on anymore oh yeah what about hunter Biden? That's very true. That's true. That's my president's son.
That guy ruined my whole year with his whole laptop fiasco.
I know. Well, you're such a news, you know, liberals only news junkie.
And when you see the libs being taken down, you say, oh, no, this is bad.
This is fake content.
The Hunter Biden thing got me so upset that I took my MacBook down to the Apple store
and I said, I don't want this anymore.
Get it away from me.
Because it's a laptop?
It's a laptop.
I don't want to have one of these.
Oh, that thing Hunter Biden has?
I thought you were saying like, because this is where like Hunter Biden news comes in,
but it's just cause. No,
no,
no.
I still have my phone to read about Hunter all day,
but I just don't want to be associated with the guy.
I don't want to use his tools of mischief.
Now this is very Loki,
the Asgardian trickster himself.
Sure. Um,
I feel like this,
what'd I say?
The year was a dumpster fire.
Yes.
I know I had such a terrible first half of 2023 because I,
we were all talking about Hunter Biden, Hunter Biden.
I'm thinking, here I'm thinking his name's Hunter Bunter.
And I'm like, oh God, I can't believe what they found on Hunter Bunter's emails
and lock her up and lock him up and Hunter Bunter this.
And I said.
You're saying Hunter Bununter all up and down
Manhattan Island
yeah
up until
the first of January
six months in
first of
I'm sorry
first of June
so I think
you had a good
first half of the year
just saying that
with blissful ignorance
and then the shame
after the fact
yeah
and I just
I hope it doesn't
carry into 2024
yeah
Joe Biden's son
Hunter Bunter
and that's all I would add to conversations I would read up up on it tons I just, I hope it doesn't carry into 2024. Joe Biden's son, Hunter Bunter.
And that's all I would add to conversations.
I would read up on it tons, but still.
It's an easy mistake to make,
even though there's no one named Bunter.
I think a lot of times you assume that someone's last name is going to rhyme with their first name.
Hey, if anyone out there listening is,
because I know we have a lot of new listeners
because this is an exciting new episode with an exciting drink and it's festive uh if someone out
there's last name is bunter hashtag us with uh i'm a bunter bud or first name if your first name
is bunter yeah i guess so yeah i'll take any bunter at this point you're thinking bunter biden
yeah at this point we just need any bunter Biden? Yeah, at this point, we just need any bunter.
You sound like my fucking baseball team.
Oh, you had bunting problems?
What's the matter?
Bunting problems?
I had all these sluggers in the lineup.
Nobody bunting.
We have no short game.
I guess you don't really want a short game in baseball.
Too many sluggers.
Nobody can bunt.
Good morning, you sluggers.
Please try bunting.
I remember bunting felt like the secret weapon in Little League. Like, oh, he's nobody can bunt. Good morning, you sluggers. Please try bunting. I remember bunting felt like the secret weapon in Little League.
Like, oh, he's going to bunt.
And I think you couldn't even do it in Little League.
But now it's very anticlimactic, the bunt.
You don't want to bunt.
You've got to be strategic.
You need your bunts.
There's certain times when I think a bunt is, well, here's the thing about me.
Sometimes I'll bunt that ball right over the fucking fence.
Grand slam, four bagger,ger baby you hit a home run you say hey bring some more people out here let's do a home runner i have four bagger damn that's so funny if we ever did a sports movie you try to
bunt it just goes flying out of the park and then you're sad even though you win the game i wanted
to bunt i wanted to do a squeeze play, man.
Another unsuccessful bunt.
That's not what the coach called for.
Yeah, the coach wanted a sack bunt.
Yeah.
Sacrifice.
I have a for real update about my 2023 to put a button on the year.
This is, you know, good storytelling.
Sometimes there's like one problem gets resolved
and then a new one is presented.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
So maybe this whole year is like one big act two for me.
I started the year with odd, strange snoring problems.
Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. I've been tracking this. tracking this not just oh tim snores midway
through the year and conspicuously right after i had had covid for the second time
i started to have this snore that was like it wasn't even like normal snores oh we know we
know anyone who's uh been on tour with tim. Anyone listening who's been on tour as well.
So then I talked about it on the pod.
I had a lot of people reach out.
I went to see some doctors.
One guy was like, okay, buddy, I'm going to undeviate your septum.
I'm going to lose your uvula.
I'm going to lose your tonsils.
He's going to make a big, huge tunnel leading from nose to stomach.
He's going to scrape you out like a jack-o'-lantern and see what happens see what's left this is
going to be one big sock puppet uh and then a lot of people my parents didn't want me to do that
they were you know but i think parents are afraid of their son having any elective surgery, but they were also like, well, Tim, your voice, you beautiful singing voice.
And I was like,
I did have some slopheads DM me say
they had that either I should
do it or I shouldn't do it. One guy said he did it
and he was happy with it. And I was like, is your
voice different? And he was like, yeah. And I was like,
how so? And he's like, I don't know how to explain it. It's just different.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Oh yeah, you told us about that. Did you get my email? I said, I don't know how to explain it. It's just different. Yeah, I don't like that. Oh yeah, you told us about that.
Did you get my email?
I said, I don't care either way.
You're like, this topic bores me
and please don't bring it up in the Bloody Mary episode.
No, it doesn't bore me,
but I just don't, you do one way or the other.
No, I do care one way or the other,
but I'll never tell you.
My sleep lab proved that I had apnea,
but weirdly not the kind where you choke yourself awake and then my oxygen levels were fine.
So I was just having many events of my throat relaxing too much.
Anyway, I got a sleep apnea being a normal guy who snores normally.
Okay.
It just,
it just happened.
So I use the snore lab app and I was hitting a 200 out of 200 epic loud.
It's called.
And now,
now I'm back to like modern.
I'm like a 60 out of 200 and I'm just like a normal guy who sometimes snores.
But guys, here's the new problem that got presented.
Oh, unintended consequences.
Oh, shit.
Sets up for a sequel.
This will worry any fans of my vocalism.
I'm having trouble.
In my vocal range, there's a note that I can no longer sing.
Oh. What song? It comes up a lot in Sloppy Boy. in my vocal range, there's a note that I can no longer sing. Oh,
what song or what's up? It comes up a lot in,
in sloppy voice.
I don't know what it,
I should do go on the piano and figure out what it is,
but I find when I try to sing,
it was fine in shows this year because I was drunk,
I guess.
I just want to just blared it out,
but it's not middle C is it?
No,
no,
it's up high,
but I might turn into one of these guys like Robert plant or, morrison's or something where they had one voice until they were 40 and then they had a
second different lower voice for the rest of their life they evolved like a pokemon yeah i it's wait
let's see it's like do re mi fa so la ti do perfect do re mi fa so that one so
perfect do re mi fa so that one so i can go up higher wait a minute wait a minute so you're you're just your throat your
cords in there just can't handle it they're shaking weird just on that one note and here's
my question to any throat doctors uh throat goats they call them oh that's what throat goat refers to the greatest of
all time at examining and diagnosing that's what i'm to understand yeah yeah i it could be apnea
related or maybe just time caught up with me and i've been honking this throat too loud but do you
remember i i went through kind of a pothead phase earlier in the year? I'm not so much in it right now, but I, uh, I was in Arizona with our friend Ben and one
night I, I poked too hard on a tiny little pipe and I was, I'm such a noob.
I was lighting it with, I was lighting it with the whole fucking lighter.
And it was, I think he's been a little bit too much tonight.
I'm not, I'm, I'm used to like a, a, a bowl or a joint, but this was a pipe, a short piece.
And I pulled too hard and I lit through, I pulled flames into my throat.
Whoa.
Timmy, this happened to me in college and I got a yeast infection.
Whoa.
In my throat.
I had one of those in my pussy.
What?
Oh, am I?
Are we just going to, we're podcasters and we're going to let somebody say yeast infection.
And I'm looking at you guys.
No one's going to say a joke about a vagina.
We're trying to draw in new listeners.
People say, oh, I know this drink.
At least let's hear what they got to say.
Oh, Bloody Mary is a buzzy episode.
So they probably don't even want to update some of my throat anyway.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Hold on a second.
This sucks.
No, Tim, this is good news.
But you're right.
You blew out that note, huh?
Yeah.
Maybe you sang it too much.
It's got nothing to do with weed, nothing to do with sleep.
It is kind of like, I said to Venmo to Bevmo.
It's like my favorite note.
Yikes.
That's it.
That's the big, like, it's the Tom Collins note.
That's why, because you use it too much.
You lean on it too hard.
You got to be like me, who's, I treat every note very much the same.
And I use them all the same appreciate
every note wow i never i have never used some of the notes down here or up here by the way
you know when uh my dad told me when i was a kid i was playing with the uh
the button that makes the window go up and down in the car.
And my dad was like, stop clicking that.
It's going to break.
And I was like, why would it break?
He's like, you only have so many clicks on a window, but it's only meant to be used so many times before it'll break. And I remember being like, well, what's the number of times?
And still now decades later in my T-Bird, I'm like still pretty easy about putting the windows up and down.
Because I'm like, might run run out of not many more left who would know i sang all my ease my high yeah tim i
thought that you only had so many swears before you go to hell oh wow yeah i'm going there my uh
my uh my dad once joking around when i was a kid was was like, he's like, hey, pick that up.
He's like, I'd do it, but I've got only so many bends in the knees.
And I was like, oh, shit.
Dad's on borrowed time.
Dad's knees are going out.
Like spawn.
Hey, can I do one quick thing?
Yeah.
Fine.
Maybe I'll save it for Booze News. You want to talk about Booze thing? Yeah. Fine. Maybe I'll save it for Booze News.
You want to talk about Booze News?
Yeah.
Great.
Sure.
So you're not a Sloppy Boys Patreon subscriber?
Are you dumb?
You don't know what the fuck you're missing.
Hold on.
Bleep that.
You get it.
The Big Head Boppers.
Jeff Purple P.
Dutton.
Julian Chalazzo.
And Wolfman Tim.
Whoa.
All right, get out of here, Julian. Quip-pishoo. Julian Chalazzo And Wolfman Tim I know these names
Better than I know my own
Grandmothers
What's your excuse dude
My damn dick don't work
Ease up
Woah baby let's get it on
Random
It's only about 10 bucks a month
You shithead.
So go down to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys and join now.
All right.
That was sent to us by.
Oops.
Okay.
That booze news thing was sent to us by Steve Jerkle.
And if you have a booze news theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com.
Love that he's plugging our Patreon because it's a great show and everyone should subscribe.
But I'm a little confused why Tim Robinson got to be in the mix so much.
Yeah, that's who that was.
Yes, I recognize that voice.
Three different quotes from him.
My own grandmothers. I mean, I come on this podcast. I come like, what is it? Three different quotes from him. My own grandmothers.
I mean, I come on this podcast.
I come here to unwind.
Yeah.
Not to be hearing from my coworker at my day job, the voice of Swooper on Digman, Tim
Robinson.
Check it out on Paramount Plus.
Oh, you know what?
When Neil came to town once, he gave me, he's like, hey, pick a Digman pin.
And I picked the Swooper pin.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
He had a bunch of different, uh, characters.
Characters.
Does this, does Swooper remind you of, uh, anyone, this character design?
You?
No, no.
He was, he was lightly sort of, uh, modeled after, uh, David Crosby.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I get that big time now yeah that's good
um hey you want to do the actual booze news before my stupid thing wait a minute i need to say steve
jerkel i feel like i've heard that name on uh the internet the discord no you can connect with
slopheads maybe on x ah steve jerkel good job that was good good job steve good job steven and yeah now go home steve
subscribe to the patreon listen to the sloppy boys blow out and then also join the discord and
befriend steve jerkel here's the booze news it's end of the year i wanted to hit a couple stories
that a lot of slop heads have alerted me to that i didn't get to hit yet oh this is nice these are
quick bips and i well i just have
three of them oh i love quick bips because i'm on the go tim one looking forward optimism about
2024 here uh uh uh drink masters has season two coming on netflix that's interesting if you like
cocktails that features julie reiner as one of the, and she's the owner of the Clover Club.
And, you know, Dale DeGroff pops up on there.
So, I mean, I can't actually say I like the show. In fact, I think it was pretty stupid how a lot of the cocktails they make are like you had to design a whole plate of food with your cocktail.
And they're a little too enamored with smoke and steam and presentation.
But it's cool to have a cocktail show to watch.
It's good for TV though, Tim.
Yeah, it's good to have the medium alive.
Me, I'm a Digman writer.
I want the medium to continue.
Survive and thrive, yeah.
Next up, Mike, this will be of interest to you.
Michael Imperioli.
Oh, yes.
Opened a bar in New York.
I've heard about this.
Very chic cocktail bar.
Opened it with his wife.
She did the decor.
He's, you know, the cocktail kind of restaurateur guy.
It looks cool.
I want to check it out.
What's it called again?
It's Scarlet.
Scarlet.
Ah, right.
Because Scarlet, like all the blood they poured on that show.
On the Soprano show.
Scarlet Bar.
I'm looking it up to see where
it is.
What?
What the fuck?
Huh?
Scarlet Lounge.
Keep going. I'm just doing my own. Are you just
scrolling through the map of Manhattan?
Like, no, no.
And I found it pretty quickly
i want to say that it's on the upper west side it's flat iron oh it is yes it is upper west side
they're all they oh i think they have a a different bar in the flat iron area and then this
one is upper west side all right and then one other thing i'm tracking we'll see if this hits a fever
pitch and we have to do it on the pod but just i've been monitoring a tiktok trend where there's
a rumor started from a tiktok comment sent to some beverage reviewer somebody said that the sangria at hooters is made out of red wine and mountain dew and people have been
making it home and trying it and saying it's actually pretty good so it's kind of a thing
that's been bopping around tiktok well you know we don't jump on every internet trend around here
tim just because we do johnny's dream and the borg and countless others no we wait until it
has timeless integrity.
Yes.
Yeah, the Borg really shot us in the foot.
That didn't go anywhere.
Are you nuts?
I went to Princeton.
I was walking around campus and I heard some dudes say to some girls,
yo, Borg.
No, I know.
But I thought it was going to turn into,
oh, these guys know what's on, got their finger on the pulse.
Let's listen to this podcast.
Viral for us. Yeah, that's 2024 24 we're going nuts with the virality guys if you recall at the end of
last year or at the right around the years we had our our astrology charts read oh yeah and stevie
goldstein from uh what's your sign pod yeah she she told us 2023 is gonna be big for us as far as doing a
lot of work but she said 2024 is really the fruits of our labor it pays off so if you're telling me
that uh we came out with an album and uh we made a movie and now you're telling me we're entering
our year where the fruits of our labor will be enjoyed my basket is ready for the fruits to fall
guys clear out your bank accounts get them ready for the fruits to fall. Guys, clear out your bank accounts.
Get them ready for the payload.
That's all old, disgusting money.
You don't want that mixing together.
That Patreon money, yuck.
Well, yeah, Jeff, you had something to say about Booze News, right?
Well, here's the funny thing.
Yeah, we're still on Booze News.
But it's not, no, but yours is in Booze News, but you want to say it.
You took it out of shit chat and you want to say it and you're kind of almost renting out a little portion of booze
news for a little yeah it's a lease event i sort of annexed a little a little section of real estate
from booze news to bring to you normally i don't like when we talk about shirts or haircuts because
it doesn't work well on pod look at this shirt out. Check this shirt out.
Wow, a shirt of a haircut.
Oh, my God.
What does that say on the bottom there, Jeff? Let me see what you got there.
That's a cocktail shirt.
Tim, I thought the same thing.
It's not a cocktail shirt,
but it's an arrangement of ingredients, is it not?
Yeah, for a cocktail.
I'm seeing an orange juice, what looks like Campbell's soup,
a little nip, I think, and then like a prepared drink.
To be used for cocktails.
What does it say underneath it, though?
That's what I couldn't see.
Morir soñando.
What's that?
This is a Dominican cold drink made by mixing condensed milk and orange juice, sometimes with vanilla extract.
Wait, is that like an orange Julius? That's going to
taste pretty Julius-y. Yes.
And Maria Sonando
means to die dreaming.
Oh, baby. Oh.
The recipe's on the back. Check it out.
But I wore it
and I wanted to discuss it because we
got dry January coming up and I thought it was
a cocktail. It kind of is, but it's N.A.
I say we make it into a cocktail.
Yeah, I know.
It's like we should have done this on the pot and had some rum.
Wait a minute, we're not doing dry January for the whole January, are we?
No, but we did water last year as a nod.
And then, you know, this is, hey, this is more exciting than water, is it not?
That was a cute episode.
How about I've got a dry january pitch for you
yeah arnold palmer classic that's a good one arnold palmer and that is a sort of drink if
i'm not i mean it's rare that i'm not drinking but uh if i if i am not drinking and i want to
fit in arnold palmer makes you feel like you ordered something it's just not a diet coke
you made them work for a little bit yeah you're mixing something it's in a fun glass you're like i'm not
drinking alcohol they're like oh good this will be easy but oh shit what arnold palmer two things
you have to mix ah you fuck fuck you oh did i say i want ice and straw
is that it for booze news wrap it up okay wow this is huge guys we are how many episodes in the pod 168 or something like that
seven yeah and have we not gotten to this it's because we patience my boy that's what you have
i'm i'm commending you for yes i'm not i'm not wagging my finger That's what you have. I'm commending you for it. Yes.
I'm not wagging my finger.
I'm saying you have had patience, my boy.
Because of your virtuous patience.
We said, when we started this podcast, I think we were like, let's not blow all of our favorites right in a row.
We all love martinis.
We all love Mai Tais.
We've done those.
I feel like this is the other favorite of ours that we wanted to wait till we had a reason.
And one might say that next week we are going to be having a, is there not New Year's Day, which is sort of a brunchy hair of the doggy type of day drinking type of day.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
I might grab a little brunch that day.
I usually don't do brunch.
Yeah, you're anti-brunch, but on that day, it's one day it's called for,
and it's really that hair of the dog that necessitates it, you know?
Well, if you did New Year's Eve right, yeah, you're going to need a little hair of the dog.
Yep, if you were parked on that couch watching Dick Clark count it down, man.
Count it down, Dickie boy!
Man, how many times have we had brunch drinks and we've said i don't know if i do this over
a bloody mary right right right right this is sort of the sort of the yardstick i was pretty
shocked how many articles are in in researching this this week the number of people that opted
for the the mimosa as number one shocking to me no way because we're not really fans i i like it i drink it but i only
put a teeny splash of oj but i do think bottomless mimosa culture is what took over brunch but
yes yes we all know that orangey champagne drink but there's a certain other cocktail that there is that exists okay it's funny to do this coy boy uh
thing because they know what the ad the thing's silent i know and we just talked about i think
we already said no no leap that this is good mystique this is good podcasting let them cook
i'm painting a picture because this is sort of a whole experience. Close your eyes.
I'm dazzled, Tim.
You're at brunch.
You look around and there's a certain red liquid donning every table.
Not blood.
Well, that word is used in one of the words.
Oh, no.
As patrons would take part in Hair of the dog next what are the words how about this one
how about this actually has his eyes closed by the way he's a dork thanks jeff i'm buying in i
want the full experience he's going for the ride my boy you see next this this is another one i
bet you didn't think about you're on a plane and there's a certain
first class.
I can picture that.
Not of your me.
Uh,
there's a certain crimson beverage upon several of the tray tables.
And there's,
that's the,
it's,
this drink is very much associated with air travel and is more popular in
the sky for a reason.
Cause science says that when you're up at a high
elevation your taste buds are impeded in a way that blocks out some of the earthy taste that
people some people on land don't like and they're just getting a salty treat that they do like up
in the air isn't that interesting that is interesting that is interesting and they get
that from the crimson yeah this crimson badson liquid. Yes, the crimson beverage that I mentioned.
Okay, next.
What is this crimson liquid?
You're watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,
and Cliff Booth chomps down on a big celery stalk.
Ow!
From a certain scarlet libation.
You're watching Mad Men,
and in the middle of the conference room table,
there's a certain tomato-y pitcher.
Oh.
You're listening to Adam Sandler's classic comedy album,
They're All Gonna Laugh At You,
and you hear a sketch where David Spade says,
it's a bloody buddy.
You're listening to the latest Whitmer Thomas album,
and he says that a certain drink is a Buffalo wing in a glass.
Yes,
folks.
Finally,
after three years of the pod,
we've gotten to the big boy that is on the international,
our tenders association cocktail list.
And we have been patient and it's time to have the bloody Mary.
You've had many, many many a bloody many mary it's a tough drink uh
is that tough drink to make but sometimes you go to here's what i'll say it's the type it's the
most fucked up drink i think what it's screwed up a lot it's a drink where anytime i order it or at least it's
been for me anytime i order blay mary i kind of you know say all right let's see what is going to
come out because there's a whole spectrum i think it's the most customizable drink like yeah martinis
are very people are particular but there's not so many moves i feel like uh with bloody mary's yeah
they give you enough rope to hang yourself. Exactly.
And this recipe we're going to do has no horseradish in it.
And I would say I happen to, in life, I like horseradish.
But a lot of times, Mike, when you say you order when you get a bad Bloody Mary,
I feel like a lot of times somebody put way too much horseradish in it
and just made it taste like cocktail sauce.
Yeah, yeah.
Mookie doesn't like buddies, and I think it's because of the
horseradish. I feel like
if you put it in there, it should just
be barely perceptible, and the heat
shouldn't come from that. The heat should come from
hot sauce, you know? That's true. But I do
love, hey, in another
scenario entirely,
we all love the sweet sting
of wasabi, do we not yeah
that's what got me into sushi
which we all know you're famously into yeah i like sushi but that's that's horseradish basically
right at least american wasabi it's a root it's a shaved root i think the thing is like wasabi
in the u.s is not at all different wasabi i've heard this
so many times but i wonder i must have at some point eaten real wasabi i've gone to sushi bars
and paid a lot of money oh yeah right that should be real no they're not giving you the real stuff
dude they see a sucker when you walk in there i'm thinking the real stuff probably isn't that
bright green well yeah maybe that's died but for you guys i feel
like aside from from the the airlines or or the the brunch culture this drink to you specifically
there's this association when you two live together here in los feliz you you had some
bloody merry parties and you guys would make a big vat of the stuff that was great those were
fun all that super fun big old vatat. We had like a table of fixins
too you can put. Oh, I have
olives. I'm going to put olives in. Pickles.
Olives. Cocktail onions.
Yep. Bacon. It's so fun to have
the fixins. Also, when we were in
St. Paul, Minnesota for Dave Ferguson's wedding,
the day after, there was a Bloody Mary
bar with all the fixins and it's so fun to go.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah. In the hotel lobby. I remember
getting a big one of those. This will be the first time that i'll have made a bloody mary uh single
serving yeah yeah right right we did the bloody mary party like three maybe even four years in a
row in a giant jug from smart and final like yeah buying like full-on restaurant gear to make
giant giant batches of this stuff but they were were really good. Yeah, those were fun parties. I make them singles for myself all the time,
but I use either Zing Zang Mix or Tabasco brand mix.
Tabasco, son.
Bob Odenkirk, Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Okay, very quick history on the drink.
Obviously, a big famous drink like this
that's 100 years old,
there's going to be some uh myths and
stuff but oh yeah the very common the bar it's most associated with is a bar that comes up all
the time on this pod because it's one of the harry's harry mccalone's uh bar harry's new york
bar in paris one of these uh 1920s immovable not immovable movable feast uh uh bars um is it has been credited with inventing the
bloody mary that we know and i've been there and i've had it and it was delicious um but then also
laying claim there's like um the 21 club in manhattan which is, I've always wanted to go there until actually, I think Trump went
there the night that he was elected. He went there to celebrate and then, uh, I kind of killed the
vibe time, which time he was elected. Jefferson Jeff. Okay. Okay. The second time when, when,
when we couldn't stop the steel, but it But it's like, you may have seen it.
It's like, it's this down, you step downstairs into the restaurant.
So up on the street, you just see these, like, there's a bunch of jockeys, like garden gnome size horse jockeys for the steakhouse.
They, anyway, they claim, have a claim to it a hundred years ago.
And then also a place where
was that again too i i the uh the 21 club oh okay and then here's a place that i've been to and i
think you have mike uh the the the king cole bar at the saint regis in midtown manhattan that's a
cool place king cole famed because they have the big king cole painting old king cole featured in uh uh this
side of paradise by f scott fitzgerald i good martini bar and then i think i talked about on
the podcast once because i was there and i saw like a classic scene out of mad men where two
big fat midwestern businessmen were in town and they were talking to what was very clearly like two, like Eastern European sex workers that they were like on dates with.
And I was like, look at that.
They look at these big Chicago boys having a New York night.
Anyway.
So there's a,
there's a bartender at Harry's in Paris called Fernand Petoit.
And the, who, who made them. But then there's also,
there's this comedian, American comedian named George Jessel, who sometimes is created it. But
here, here's my take. I just, I read 20 articles about this. And I think that in Palm Beach,
Florida, a hundred years ago, this rich comedian guy,orge jessel went on a bender and then the
next morning he was trying to like wake himself up with hair of the dog drink and he vodka was
sort of a recent import from russia that people were excited about and canned tomato juice was
sort of a new 20th century thing so he made a drink that was just half vodka half tomato juice oh wow um then he went up to new york and started ordering it
jessup jessup so i think the 21 club maybe started making it for him but it was just half and half
dan fernand over in paris took that inspiration but he added the tabasco the salt and the lemon
and started making the the the kicked up bloody the kicked up Bloody Mary that we know.
And it caught on in Paris and the Hemingways and stuff like that. We're drinking it.
Then Fernand moves back and moves to New York and he's working at the King Cole at the St. Regis.
And he has his spicy kicked up version of it. But the bartender there wants, doesn't like the name
Bloody Mary, which is either named after
a waitress or an ex-girlfriend of one of these guys and he thought uh the owner of uh the saint
regis thought it was maybe too intense so they started calling it the red snapper so either way
by the time we're getting in the 30s you could pretty much around new york order either a red
snap or a bloody mary and it isn't just vodka and tomato
juice it's got spicy stuff and the zing and the zap to it cool wow i was like watching forrest
gump or something seeing seeing the whole arc of it yeah because i uh i i have his same level of
intelligence um the iba recipe is a nice straightforward one i'm excited to try thank god too i this is uh i
like this one they've butchered a few drinks folks oh i feel like i might go a wild out a bit on round
two but for round one here's the iba recipe 45 milliliters ounce and a half vodka 90 milliliters
three ounces tomato juice 15 milliliters half half an ounce, fresh juiced lemon juice.
Two dashes, Worcestershire sauce.
That's going to be a big dash.
Dish dash.
And now, Tabasco, celery salt, and pepper, up to taste.
Tabasco, celery salt, and pepper up to taste.
I was excited to get celery salt for this one.
I never had.
I love celery salt.
I always have it.
It's my secret weapon.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Here's the method.
Ooh.
I was surprised by this.
Listen to this.
Keep going, Tim.
Tim, continue while we keep this bed going.
I talk over that.
Stir gently all the ingredients in a mixing glass with ice.
Pour into rocks glass.
No ice, dudes.
But then there's a note here.
If requested, served with ice.
Pour into a highball glass. Wow.
Okay.
That's, I'm doing it this way because I've never done it that way, but that's unique.
You're doing, you're going up.
I'm going to do up in a rocks glass.
This is the International Bartenders Association after all.
They don't do it how we do it in over here in the US.
Hashtag America.
Yeah.
Sometimes they don't do it the way anyone ever makes it.
Ice all day over here.
Garnish. This is important. Morocco. Yeah. Sometimes they don't do it the way anyone ever makes it. Ice all day over here. Um,
garnish.
This is important.
Garnish with celery or an optional lemon wedge.
Uh,
guys,
the celery was later added at,
uh,
in Chicago,
maybe 10,
20 years after the people in New York and Paris were drinking this,
somebody in Chicago at the pump room,
instead of using a swizzle stick,
put in a celery stick and it stuck.
And I think it's a big part of the experience because you want to
feel like Cliff Booth.
Damn, I didn't get the celery stick.
Damn. I'll have to
garnish with a lemon thing.
Oh, that
just sucks. They don't go ape shit
with all the add-ons either. It's very
international, not American.
I like these add-ons, though, because they're functional.
Celery stick, you can swizzle with it and you can eat it.
Lemon wedge, notice it's not just like a lemon wheel for looks.
It's a wedge, so you can squeeze it in there if you want.
You get all the juice.
Squeeze.
And you brighten it up, folks.
Yeah.
That's nice.
I'm going to put, even in my first one, I'm putting in an olive.
But let's talk about different variations on these when we get back oh yeah
oh yeah that's good you want to get into it i would love to all right folks we're gonna go
make these bloody marys we'll meet you right back here after these messages and we're back bloody mary's in hand not a big yield yeah not a big yield off
this recipe iba but this is also this is what their picture looks like it doesn't really fill
their glass it's the little guy look at this so i kind of i kind of went i usually don't do a garnish cornichon
cornichon of olive and olive in a lemon wow beautiful um i'm looking at the recipe they
didn't say strain oh stir gently all ingredients in a mixing glass with ice pour into rocks glass
but you're right wait what does the picture on the iba look like no it's but you're right. Wait, what does the picture on the IBA look like? No, it's yeah,
you're right.
The picture is it's neat.
It looks neat.
Yeah.
Odd.
And then they said,
if requested,
serve with ice,
pour into a highball glass.
So I think we've come,
we've come across this before.
It's also interesting to that.
They're gently stir.
You don't see that too often.
Maybe they don't want it watered down too much.
I was, I was wondering about that too because it's like there's nothing
this is kind of just like a
rugged drink.
Yeah. If you had to say that. But
yeah, I don't know what would be so bruising here.
Man, mine was this
cocktails making session was a mess for me.
My Dasher on my
Worcestershire sauce was like
Dasher? Tim, that was last week.
Come on.
It just went gathunk, and it was a huge dash.
And then my pepper, the top fell off.
Pepper goes all over the thing.
Oh, no.
Everything crazy.
But I think I salvaged it.
I'll say I didn't have celery salt.
I thought I did.
I did a little dash of Lowry's.
Oh. Ooh, that's about right.
Interesting.
That's spicy, savory salt.
Spicy salt.
Okay, sips?
Yeah.
We squeezing that lemon or are we letting it ride for now?
I'm going to let it ride for the first one.
Let it ride for now.
Happy New Year.
Hair of the dog.
But seriously.
Oh. Oh, yes. Zingy. Hair of the dog. But seriously. Oh.
Oh, yes.
Zingy.
Ping, ping, pingy.
Damn, I spiced that thing right up.
Me too.
I kind of went a little ham with the Tabasco.
Yeah.
John Ham.
And look, folks, you might go into that cabinet and see oh my worcestershire i got it i
got a big old bottle it's expired oh my tabasco is expired too who cares you'll be all right
go ahead go ahead who cares who cares it's just a bloody as long as your tomato juice has been like
in a can like the one thing to do wrong is to have all this like mixed up and sitting around i think
all the spicy weirdies are just like salt water and vinegar water and stuff they're made they're
preservatives do you guys remember we had really good bloody mary's in portland oregon we walked
nearby we were staying at the ace hotel and then we walked to some old-timey bar that we really
loved and we were served at the bar by like a guy in a white coat that was really old timey they did like oysters and stuff right yes
it was like an old one of those old bars where everything like is thick like the uh the the
wood is all thick and the uh bar top is thick yeah one of the waitresses was thick yeah and
our bodies at the time were thick yeah now we're felt as well we love the bloody marys and i asked the bartender i was like
you making this mix in-house or or is this a mix you bought and he was like well check this out
and he had it was like just the stuff no tomato there was a little bottle of of like store-bought
brand that i i probably have a picture on my phone of the brand but everything but the mater
yes it was just like a it was like a peppery
briny stew that you squirt and then you add the vodka and you add the tomato oh keep your tomato
fresh to order that sounds great now when i was at the grocery store getting this worcestershire
sauce by the way i don't even know what worcestershire sauce is it's vinegar it is
unwrap the flavor.
I like that.
Other stuff, too.
It's got tons of stuff.
I know it has anchovy in there.
It's all these different.
You're looking.
Do you have the papery, the Lee and Perkins papery bottle?
Is that what you got?
Yeah, that's what I got, too.
I got distilled white vinegar, molasses, sugar, water, salt, onions, anchovies, garlic, cloves, tamarind extract.
Wow. Molasses. Love that, tamarind extract. Wow.
Molasses.
Love that.
Tamarind is really good.
And if you have other tamarindy ingredients are good for bloodies and micheladas and stuff.
But note that if you're vegan, careful with the Worcestershire because it's got anchovies.
Yeah, vegetarian too.
Man, I am flying through this thing.
This thing says, it says for a zesty or Bloody Mary,
add two teaspoons of Leah and Perrin's Worcestershire sauce.
That's interesting.
For a zesty or Bloody Mary, we already got it in there, dude.
We did dashes.
for a zestier Bloody Mary.
We already got it in there, dude.
We did dashes.
Jeff, you have strong rules about biting and chewing on microphone.
Yeah.
Can I request that I'm allowed to bite my celery stalk?
Just this once.
Because that's a pretty classic bite sound, Jeff.
That's a classic bite.
Last one of the year.
Here we go.
That was pretty good.
You put a little reverb on that.
Mike, I'm going to indulge.
Do you want to do it?
I don't have a celery.
Bite your lemon.
Well, yeah, while you bite my ass, I'll bite on this.
Yeah, why don't you bite his ass?
I'll bite on this cornichon pickle.
Here we go.
I didn't hear anything.
Must not be a Vlasic.
It's not as good or it's not as
base as a Vlasic, but it's also not
and I like Vlasic, but it's not as
expensive as those ones where you
kind of pull the elevator up
and they kind of get out of the water.
They pull the elevator.
I've never had those. I think I gotta
save up and get some of those elevator gherkins.
They're like seven bucks.
Elevator coming up.
First, top floor.
My fucking mouth.
Mike.
You're about to go to the bottom floor real quick.
Michael.
Hey, speaking of top floor, Ace Hotel downtown.
Going out of business. la yeah oh really the
whole company sold it still exists and they're gonna have hotels elsewhere but the la one
gone which sucks because they had a cool theater i went with my friends from out of town uh we went
to the rooftop pool one day fantastic time smallest pool on earth smallest pool on earth yes
very good cocktails very good cocktails and if you just want like a little bitest pool on earth. Smallest pool on earth, yes. Very good cocktails.
Very good cocktails.
And if you just want like a little bit of pool on the top of a skyscraper, come on.
It's great.
I like rooftop stuff.
Anytime I go to a rooftop bar around here, I love it.
I try to get as close to the window as I can and just look out. You got to go to the rooftop pool at the Bonaventure Hotel in Montreal.
Hot pool in the winter snow falls.
I love that.
Damn, I got to get up.
I got to do a ski trip in Montreal.
Go to the rooftop.
And we're supposed to do a residency in Aspen all winter, I think.
Oh, right.
Shit, right.
Who's going to?
Yeah, where are we on that?
Somebody, one of the Discord guys booked that.
Yeah, I think it's
i think it's happening you know what i like with a bloody mary oh when i was starting to say
Worcestershire sauce i went to get uh that and then i was looking for horseradish because i
wanted to do that for my second round and they didn't have horseradish at the grocery store i
couldn't believe it but um that's what i really like that taste when it's done right and you get kind of a
little bit of thickness and chew into it yeah what are the uh dimensions what are the proportions
if you were to put in some uh horseradish because i might have some i bet that's the taste as well
here's what i like to do jay you can tell me anything What's the measurement for good taste?
I'd like to take that horseradish jar.
I put a fork or a spoon into it.
I press down, unlocking a lot of that liquid.
You just want the juice.
I pour that juice onto my vodka rocks sometimes.
That nice chalky, grippy horseradishy. Yes, that thick.
It's like using the pasta water in your
fucking sauce are people doing that pasta water in the sauce yeah you always save a little bit
of the water and put it in the sauce hey i don't know about this because you're fucking
because you don't know how to make gravy for 50 guys.
Guilty as charged.
Isn't that from God?
Probably just like, hey, Michael, come over here.
I got it.
In case you need to make gravy for 20 guys.
Yeah.
Take the gun, leave the gun, only for 50 guys.
Yeah.
Take the gun, leave the gun, only for 50 guys.
You cut the garlic with a razor blade.
Is that Goodfellas or Bronx Tale?
Goodfellas.
I'm picturing Paul Sorvino, though.
Yeah, I think it's Goodfellas.
I think you're right.
Ah.
Because I know it ain't heat.
I'm surprised how much I like this.
Yes.
Oh, why?
Did you just watch Heat?
No.
I've seen it before.
Haven't I? It's very good.
Ooh, I was big into Heat when I was 13.
Yeah, Heat's good.
I put it on the other night. I saw it was on one of the streamers.
I was like, oh, Heat, great. I love that opening
heist.
And I turned it on.
It's not opening. It doesn't open with that.
So I was like, oh, I don't remember.
You're thinking Dark Knight, which heavily references it.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, I don't remember.
You're thinking Dark Knight, which heavily references it. Yeah.
You know what?
I had something I wanted to tell you guys, kind of a cool story that in a way sort of relates back to this drink a little bit in a way.
Nice.
Oh, nice.
Well, 2023, we've been reflective talking about how about the years coming to an end.
I think for me, it was really a year of, I did a lot of kind of searching, soul searching and asking the big questions in life.
Yeah.
Right.
And which is good.
Dutz, you did a little bit of that when you went solo.
Yeah.
Careful with that stuff, Tim.
You never know where it's going to take you. Well, it took me on a kind of an interesting, here did a little bit of that when you went solo. Yeah, and careful with that stuff, Tim. You never know where it's going to take you.
Well, it took me on kind of an interesting...
Here's a weird path.
I was asking the big questions, searching, soul searching.
Doing the work, yeah.
Having a curiosity about things.
Careful curiosity killed the cat man.
That's very true, but I like to save the cat.
I'm a screen reader, you see.
the cat man that's very true but i like to save the cat i'm a screenwriter you see anyway what i uh what happened to me i actually started to get into a little bit of christian rock uh
which i had i'd been pretty ignorant of uh lately and especially the band creed you know they're
back they're on tour oh you guys know creed creed's back i know scott stapp the creed we
know and love scott stapp, lead singer of Creed.
The Creed We Know and Love.
They're back.
They were sort of heavily memed ironically for a while,
but now they're back and they're on tour
and they're putting out a new album and stuff.
But I got really into them
and I actually had an opportunity to go see them on tour
and I hung out with them after the show.
I got a backstage pass because they're fans of the pod actually.
So really I got to go.
Yeah.
They love,
they said they,
they feel like I'm pretty much their boy at this point.
And they said they love me and they love my two co-hosts.
Awesome.
And they said,
he said the show has timeless integrity.
Nice.
They're,
they really are listeners.
Yeah.
What is up anyway? So there I am in this year where i'm like searching and asking big questions in life yeah i'm i'm backstage with
scott stapp and the boys and we start fucking chopping it up we're shooting this shit you know
and we did sort of hit it off we were bonding about this like you know like about how we're
both have this sort of curiosity and asking the big questions and like searching and that type
of thing um but you don't really have a specific question doesn't sound like no because i didn't
well it's i guess it's different for each person what each person wants to know about
and like he's searching for the questions too. Right. Well, sometimes you don't know what question to ask,
but that's a big part of it.
I had different questions than they had,
but they were talking and then they had to go back out on stage.
Cause they're,
the crowd was going nuts.
They do an encore.
This is in the middle of the show.
We thought the show was over.
They finished their final song,
but turns out sometimes the crowd will clap and you go home.
That's anytime I go to a concert now and there's an encore,
I'll be like, Hey, stop talking to podcasters back there and get out here and let us go home.
Get back out here.
So they go back out on stage and I'm left in the green room backstage by myself.
To your own devices.
You know me.
I hacked Scott Stapp's laptop.
You what?
You hacked Scott Stapp's laptop? I hacked Scott Stapp's laptop. You what? You hacked Scott Stapp's laptop?
I hacked Scott Stapp's laptop.
Laptop.
I stopped.
I stocked.
What was this?
I hacked Stapp's laptop.
That's a tough one to say.
And I couldn't help myself.
You know how I like to get my little groin.
I found an early version of one of their songs.
I put it on a flash drive.
I tucked that flash drive in down into my BBDs.
Right.
Kind of.
With all the others.
Under my dick on top of my scrotum.
The others clanging around from, you know,
from Billy Joel's compound and all the other places.
Just when you put those at your,
leave those at home in a little,
little box or something.
I know,
I know.
I shouldn't,
when I change,
when I change my underwear each day,
I shouldn't bring the flash drives along.
You know,
uh,
that's smart.
But what's cool is I listen,
I,
I was listening to this early version of kind of big of the biggest hit song,
totally different lyrics than we know.
But interesting. They're always, always you know asking the big questions it was really interesting to hear
yeah and it was interesting to hear what this early version of the song is because it's sort
of in a way relates to some of the conversation from today uh jeff i brought the mp3 i gave you
the flash drive oh that's the flash drive okay yeah actually okay yeah you
might want to rinse it off a little bit oh
when drinking i'm guided to a certain word time and time again.
A certain word?
Yes.
At brunch time,
I'll never make a peep cause I don't want
my pronunciation
to be a disgrace.
Cause there's tomato
and pepper to taste
Then of course the lemon but wait
It's in my bloody
I must denunciate carefully and Perkins
But how do I say
Is it
Worcestershire
Or do you
say it
differently
Is it
Worcestershire
With the paste of anchovy Is it Warchester Shire?
With the paste of anchovies.
Whoa, Scott Staff is missing the same note that I am. Yeah, he has the same issue with his throat.
Weird.
He must have smoked a pipe or had a CPAP machine or something.
That was excellent.
They should have done that for the real release instead of take me higher. me i know can you take me higher is what they changed it to but
also that can you take me higher i believe is sort of asking the big questions searching and that type
of thing so oh oh i see i see uh but this was your or yes okay his big question right well it's
worcestershire worcestershire and but when you read it it looks like worcestershire Worcestershire but when you read it it looks like
Worcestershire
is what it looks like
you know my mom
I think I mentioned this before
my mom used to
make me laugh
by saying
Worcestershire
yep
you know
Tim
as I was listening to that
because sometimes
when we bring in songs
it's like
why would they bring in this song
oh it actually does
have something to do
with the drink
great
and I was waiting as he was singing the song.
And then it just clicked for me.
Because I recognized the song.
And it just clicked at one point.
Oh, this is going to be.
I see what word is going to become.
Because you were picking off or he was picking off all the ingredients.
And when it hit, I really laughed at it.
Right.
Yeah.
It hits different though, right?
Yeah.
Certain things hit different than other things.
I can tell you that much.
Yeah, they do.
Hey, speaking of hitting different, what would you change about the drink?
I love this mix.
It was bright.
It was peppy.
I tend to like a darker, more umami Bloody Mary.
And I thought that this would not be to my liking, but this was fantastic.
But maybe on this round, I will try kicking up my Worcestershire until it's like a dark drink.
Yikes.
Yikes.
I would do it with, this mix was really good, like this amounts and stuff.
But I would do it probably with ice and then add the horseradish.
I'm going to look for horseradish.
I know I have some pickles on there.
I'm throwing in.
Oh, pickle juice.
That's really good.
You know what else is?
Yeah.
The olive brine.
That's very popular.
Tell you what, if you don't have Worcestershire and you want to have a kind of an umami taste, the
teeniest splash of soy sauce will get that done for you.
Nice.
Oh, you know what I have?
Fish sauce?
Yes.
Eel sauce.
Maybe the eel sauce works its way into here.
Finally, at long last.
I think this is a good candidate.
At long last.
Oh, I think I have to do it. Folks, if you haven't heard, I had a hit a good candidate. Long last. Ooh, I think I have to do it.
Folks, if you haven't heard, I had a hit drink this summer.
You probably saw it.
It's called the Black Lagoon.
Sorry.
This autumn time, spooky season.
Yes.
The Black Lagoon.
And it's made with eel sauce, the molasses of the sea.
So I got a big old batch of that stuff, and I think it'll work just right in the old bloody marriage.
Jeff, you should have gone backstage at a...
What?
At a what?
Jimmy Resnick?
What's his name?
Johnny Resnick?
Johnny Resnick.
A Goo Goo Dolls show?
Goo Goo Dolls show.
Baby's Black Lagoon makes me cry.
You know, back here.
I should have gone there.
Yeah.
Too bad, Jeff, you didn't on that episode.
You hadn't run into those guys.
You should have gone there, but you didn't go there.
Maybe Black Lagoon, too.
I if we do a second round of this, I'm going to do gin instead of vodka.
Whoa, Michael.
All right, let's do it.
Which is called something. It's a bloody bulldog or something. All right, let's do it. Which is called something.
It's a bloody bulldog or something.
All right, folks, you sit tight.
We'll be back here with our second round after this.
And we're back with round two.
I did a pint glass.
Oh, big boy.
Brunch style.
He's pickles.
Add pickles.
I made mine a little smaller to put ice.
Oh, petite.
I also took my little, my first round glass.
I took some of the new Bloody Mary, right?
And I put in a nice little dollop of eel sauce.
of the new Bloody Mary, right?
And I put in a nice little dollop of eel sauce.
And it sat in there like a little black bead of goo that I had to break up with my celery stick.
Not looking forward to it.
Here comes the sip.
Not looking forward to it.
Ooh.
It's fine.
It's great.
Hey, all right.
Fishy.
Jeffy's Black lagoon makes him cry
this uh with the gin is good i made this in with good proportions it's it's uh pretty much masked
by all the other stuff like gin and vodka the slight is the the taste is so slight that
it probably wouldn't be able to i like the sound of it that's nice i mean gin's coming for the
crown where it comes to vodka drinks huh i think. I mean, gin's coming for the crown when it comes to vodka drinks, huh?
I think you might be right.
Gin is going for the crown?
Yeah.
He's coming for vodka's thunder.
Yeah, I think vodka's boring these days.
Get gin.
Gin is in.
Gin is probably going to be the spirit of 2024.
Yep.
I mean, it was in a lavender haze lemonade.
I went ham on the Worcestershire, and it still wasn't dark enough,
and I wanted it to look dark like Kohl's downtown LA.
So I put a little splash of soy sauce in there like I was mentioning.
Mmm.
Pow!
That's a deep, dark.
Ooh.
Deep, deep umami.
Umami. that's good.
Umami.
I'm going to need a glass of water after this because I feel so dehydrated.
That was the lesson learned after the Bloody Mary party.
I really did think you can just kind of have infinity of any drink as long as you don't drink too much.
No, the salt.
But the salt knocked me out.
Three big Bloody Marys, I was down for the count.
It's weird drinking these at night.
It's a daytime, it's a morning drink.
But what I tend to do when I order these out, I order a Bloody, I drink it halfway down,
and then I order a shot of vodka, splash it in there, and I keep drinking.
Because if you have two Bloody Marys, you're kind of putting a lot of zing in your system.
Yeah, better to have two Bloody Marys, you're kind of putting a lot of zing in your system. Yeah, better to have
two alcohols.
Any doctor would tell you that. Order again.
Stone Cold Classic. Yeah.
I mean, we don't need to say this. This is Stone Cold.
Yeah, it's great. This is part
of my holy trinity.
Martini, Mai Tai, Bloody Mary, the three
best cocktails on earth.
Man, and hey, congrats I, for not fucking this one up.
Sometimes it happens.
Yeah.
I was going to say, even this version of it is great.
Yeah.
This is an order again and again.
My last one that I had was in Vegas last month.
And it was in this place called Hash House A Go-Go.
And I walked in and was like, oh, this will be a fun, like, crazy biscuits and gravy type place.
And it was basically just trumped up Denny's.
But they made a really good Bloody Mary.
And the food was good.
So order again.
Stone Cold Classic.
Nice.
Well, as the year is coming to a close.
Yeah, that's sad.
You do start to look back at things, you know, ask the big questions.
Yeah.
Ask the big questions, searching.
I got some big questions for you guys, actually.
Oh.
If you can believe it.
Nothing too personal, I hope.
No, no.
It only takes the form of the 2023 drink quiz.
No.
Oh, Jefferson.
This could be tough to do.
We've done this before.
I like this.
We have, but it's been a while.
There's a whole crop of new drinks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's going to go something like this.
So no oldies, right?
No oldies.
I will read episode descriptions from this past year, 2023.
Yeah.
And you will name the drink we covered.
Damn.
Okay.
Now, you know, I go to great pains not to mention the name of the drink in the description.
Yeah.
To do so would be poor writing.
Yeah, I agree.
I will say this.
Three drinks not included on this quiz.
The Grimace Piss.
The Black Lagoon,
and the Fall Highball.
Those are test kitchen drinks
that are not in the running.
Those do not qualify for the quiz, I see.
Wait, wait, wait.
I was just,
I remembered something that I had to do
and then I was thinking about that thing
that I had to do
and I didn't listen to what this quiz is. It's's a cocktail 2023 cocktail quiz, but you're not going to
mention the grimace piss, the fall high ball or what else? Black Lagoon. So that our test kitchen
drinks. So I pulled those out of my brain, set them aside. Yeah. They will not be in the running.
Are you ready? Yep. Question number one. Ooh.
The guys stir up a 70s staple named after the Gene Hackman film.
French Connection.
That.
Correct.
French Connection, episode 117. I love film, and I also love cognac with scotch.
Ooh.
Very good.
That was good.
Yeah, that was a good drink.
Or was that the Godfather?
Oh, no, no.
Godfather is...
Cognac and scotch.
No, it's Di Serrano and...
Oh.
Rye.
Oh, yeah.
So I think you're right.
I think you're right.
So then what's the French connection?
Well, now we got to look it up.
Now we don't have to.
No, we don't have to.
The whole idea here was to move quickly through this quiz.
Yeah, you're right.
The whole idea is to get Hanford to bed.
That's not the idea.
The idea is to savor it, Mike.
The whole idea.
I don't like the savory taste of this drink.
Yeah.
Number two, to celebrate the release of their new album, Sonic Ranch,
the guys look back at their time spent in Texas with a whiskey crafted and distilled from 100%
Abasolo.
Abasolo.
100% Mexican Cacao Zintel Corn.
Abasolo. That was good.
Ancient corn whiskey. Delicious.
So that was Tim, yeah?
They're all going to be Tim. Just mark them now.
They might be. Number three.
The guys make a garden fresh guzzler
from across the pond.
Bramble. Pim's Cup. Bramble. Pim's Cup.
Yes, Tim Pim's Cup.
They ought to call this Bloody Mary like a gardener's delight or something.
Mike, be the change you want to see in the world.
All the gardener's delight.
What's that?
It's Bloody Mary.
Number four.
Yeah.
The guys make the new viral drink from taylor swift's eras tour lemonade
lemonade lemonade that was maybe my fave of the year that was a good one that was very good that
came around bramble season didn't it it sure did those were all good number five the guys make a
popular twist on the piña colada created in the 70s at the soggy dollar bar in the British Virgin Islands.
Oh, motherfucker, painkiller.
Timmy!
Mike, how do you feel, buddy?
I want side points.
I want redos.
Well, Mike, you're lucky because this next one.
Oh.
Grimace piss?
No matter who.
The fall highball.
The person who answers this next question correctly, their opponent gets three points.
Their opponent?
Whoa.
Yes.
Okay.
The opponent gets the three points.
Number six.
The guys revisit an 80s smash that is neither French nor martini.
Okay, I know, but I don't want to say it.
So I'm going to say pina colada.
The French martini?
Yes!
Yes!
Thank you.
Okay.
So Mike is still at zero points.
Tim now has eight points.
I'm glad I didn't go down less points.
Yeah.
You know, yeah.
And hey, a lot of things can happen in the 2023 drink quiz.
Oh, a lot of things can happen.
There's a lot of side points and interesting
sort of like little departures that
could happen.
Number seven.
The guys encounter a titan of
tiki culture invented by
Victor J. Bergeron in 1944.
Mai Tai. Yes.
The Mai Tai. Trader Vic's Mai Tai.
At his Oakland, California restaurant, Trader Vic's.
Now, this question, number eight, is worth eight points.
Whoa.
Yes.
Yes.
Crazy eights.
Ready?
Mike, this would put you back in the fighting range real quick.
Fighting range, but not tied.
You'd be almost tied.
But also remember, the whole point of this quiz was to keep it moving, wasn't it?
Maybe for some.
For some of the East Coast.
I'll tell you what, we're going to keep the blowout moving real quick.
Folks, we apologize for the 15-minute blowout if you listened on Wednesday.
Here we go.
Number eight, the guys make a cocktail
they can't refuse.
The Godfather.
I heard Tim on that one.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. You gotta be kidding me.
That is the
home field advantage.
The Los Feliz advantage.
Yeah, the Los Feliz connection.
Direct connect.
Unbelievable.
Number nine.
The guys finally get past the weird name and weird ingredients and tackle the newest drink on the IBA list.
Bento.
Bento.
Number 10.
Number 10.
Anyone's game.
I have nothing to say.
All I have to say is I didn't think of it as quick.
Oh, oh. All I can do is is I didn't think of it as quick. Oh, oh.
All I can do is go.
The guys make a fruity fizzy refresher from Jalisco, Mexico, traditionally served in a
little clay.
Cantorito.
Here's the thing.
I remember that little click.
I should have said this.
The thing with question 10
oh shit is that you actually should you should have said this what i should have said this
it would have affected how you play the game to be honest oh no i'm so sad you didn't say it
this if you answer number 10 correctly you actually lose 10 points. Fuck! Oh, I wish I would have known
that. So am I in the lead now with one?
Let me see. Let me do
the math here. What one did you get?
Uh, Godfather.
I got that.
No, you didn't get that. Tim got that.
Oh, that's right, but it's the one I knew at least.
Okay, so Tim loses 10 points.
So it's 0-0.
Tim loses 10 points, but he's still in the lead.
8-0.
Wait, oh, because of my, yeah, okay.
Oh, he gained 8 points.
Wow.
No, no.
Yeah, yeah.
He had 8.
I got it.
I had 8?
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, what is that?
It ate?
It ate? Apparently, kid. Wait, what is that? It ate? It ate?
Apparently, kid.
It was great.
It was great?
It was great, yeah, yeah.
I was thinking, it could have had a center, right?
Grandpa watched the Powerball.
Number 11.
The guys take a break from the booze to celebrate one of the building blocks of life.
Water.
Water.
Ooh, that's Timmy.
Damn, I really thought that was both even if even though we
tied it tim got one got them all i don't know if i'm got them all compensating for the lag
coming from brooklyn yeah that's okay number 12 the guys make an iconic two- two tiki adjacent yeah what was this one because it was like it was layered
top and bottom i think mine just mixed right together well they could be two side to side tim
yeah mine i mine mixed right together too and we did it recently and it was
don't sneaky peeky i can look at my own booze bottles uh i thought you're looking at the
internet okay two-tone tiki adjacent is what's fucking me up uh was port in it no
no it's really only two ingredients if you really actually stop and think about it.
I'm not going to stop and think about that.
I got to just keep going, keep moving, you know?
Normally, I would not let this hang time ride, but it's so deliciously devilish.
Yeah.
Okay.
Was that a hit?
No.
It is the...
It's two-tone, two ingredients.
Yeah.
And it's a blank and blank.
I want to say we did it kind of recently, but sometimes I say that.
I was like, oh yeah, we did that last year.
Two-tone.
Two ingredients named the blank and blank.
Blood and sand.
No.
Black and tan?
No. Oh, that's two. Black and Tan? No.
Oh, that's two tones.
Give it to him.
Dark and Stormy.
Michael.
Tiki adjacent to Tone.
That's right.
I always mix up a Black and Tan and a Dark and Stormy.
Hey, look at me.
Here's the great thing about number 12.
I won.
It's worth 12 points, Mike.
Was that number 12? That was number 12. It's worth 12 points, Mike. Was that number 12?
That was number 12.
Fuck!
Damn!
Did I win?
No, but you are now in the lead.
That's exciting.
Congrats, Mike.
Mike leads Tim 12 to 9 as we head into number 13.
Here on the 2023 Drink Quiz.
Is 2023 the amount of questions that we have to answer?
No.
Koi boy.
Number 13.
The guys take on a mysterious drink from a viral tweet.
Borg.
Johnny's Dream.
Johnny's Dream.
Don't worry, Mike.
You're still comfortably two points ahead.
Number 14. The guys investigate
whispers of a new summer drink
craze. But can those
vinegary cukes make the leap from your
sandwich to your cocktail glass?
Pickle martini? Yes, Michael.
Vinegary cukes.
Wow.
Three-point lead for the Hey Man.
Thank you. Number 15. The guys add
citric acid powder to orange juice
in order to free Joe Saunders from the
clutches of the trickster. Acid adjusted
orange juice old fashioned.
Eh eh.
Old fashioned? Eh eh.
Acid adjusted orange juice whiskey
sour. Yes Tim.
This is funny because I never, me and Mike never read these.
You write them and then they just go out to the listeners, but I never read these.
Yeah, I know.
They're funny.
Number 16.
The guys break out the blackberry for an 80s drink from very good Timothy.
Break out the blackberry.
That's good.
Bramble ramble.
And folks, if you're just checking out the show, this spring we did a lot of blackberry
drinks, but Tim knew.
Yes, and bramble ramble was one of the main features of the whole run of this pod.
That was a whole era.
Springtime bramble rambles.
Number 17.
The guys make the super hydrating drink that's taking college campuses by storm.
Morton.
I fucked up.
Damn.
I fucked up.
You are now tied. How many questions are on this quiz seriously
30 fucking questions this is supposed to move quickly guys please um pay attention to the
questions oh yeah okay we know we should number 18 the guys cover the coldest drink they can
fathom at the behest of the mysterious Freezter.
Oh yeah.
Okay, Glada? No.
Strawberry Daiquiri. Yes. Daiquiri.
It was Daiquiri. The coldest drink they can imagine.
It's such a friendly
drink. Yeah, this was the year of meeting
bad guys and villains.
Super villains. We lived through all
of it. It's great. Number 19.
The guys shake up a pineapple-y Prohibition-era cocktail named for a star of the silver screen.
Mary Pickford.
Yes, Timothy.
We're in the homestretch now.
Number 20.
This is a real Java Lanch of questions.
I think we're doing 23 questions yes exactly right
actually mike for knowing that i don't care we're just
i don't care what the point thing is guessing the number of questions great just you get 23 points
that's exciting.
Congrats, Mike.
Well played.
Thank you.
It's just going to take me a minute to write all these little hash things.
Take you a minute.
Oh, boy.
This next one is worth triple points.
Triple of one. We heard you. Well, it could be like triple of one.
Weird.
Well, it could be like triple of 20 or something.
Number 20. The guys sample a classic from Jerry Thomas or a saloon in Martinez,
California.
That might be Martinez, but probably yes.
That might be, but probably isn't the precursor to the martini martinez yes tim you get it and
that's worth triple points right ho 21 the guys sample a new drink combining the monarch's favorite
liquors but at the end of the day king charles king charles oh mike gets it fuck mike you you
faked me out you looked it's kind of you had sunk down in your chair. You were dazed out, and I thought that I could beat you.
No, you were sharp as a tack.
It's called the rope-a-dope, Tim.
It worked for the Muhammad Ali.
It works for me.
Similar vibe, the two of you.
Float like a butterfly, answer questions like a bee.
Stink like a beet.
Number 22. The guys batch up a
Dionysian crowd pleaser in celebration
of their new single Gardens of
Gomorrah. Oh. Sangria.
Yes, Tim.
Correct. I don't practice
sangria. You know, on TikTok, they say that
a Hooters sangria recipe is
just red wine and Mountain Dew.
Tim, if you went to Hooters, you
wouldn't know what to do yourself. Wouldn't know to
Dooters. We went to one on tour.
Wouldn't know to Dooters shelf.
Okay.
The next question
is worth 23 points.
Wow. Number
23.
The guys
try that thing where
you cut a hole.
Watermelon. Spotted a watermelon.
Spiked watermelon.
Yes, Timothy.
That was an interesting one.
Go back and listen to that one, folks.
You might learn a thing or two.
Yeah?
About cocktails.
And while I tally the points, you guys vamp.
Well, I was going to say, Mike, you did a great job for someone who's not super interested in cocktails.
One time you said if you had one wish of knowledge that could be implanted into your brain,
you said you wish you could have the knowledge of how to play piano.
And I yelled at you and said, what about cocktail knowledge?
You always have a cocktail pot.
And you said, I'm not interested in that.
I'm not interested.
I'm more interested in goofing around with you two than the subject matter.
Right.
But then if you knew how to play piano,
then you'd probably go solo on your own podcast,
Ebeneez and Ivories with Mike Hanford.
Yeah, that wouldn't be so bad either.
Damn, what a close one.
No.
Even with all those point switches.
I think I answered 21 out of 23 questions right,
but let's see how the points check out.
Coming in with 37 points.
An impressive display by Mike Hanford.
Thank you.
But topping him, besting him at every turn, it might seem.
With 42 points, Tim Kalpakis.
It's so funny that you totaled up all of that nonsense.
Okay, just to still have me win nonsense
all of that up and down and all those voiceable shit still i just want
it didn't matter tim what are you gonna do with all that scratch off money i i'm gonna go
uh and i'm gonna go to 7-eleven i'm gonna buy scratch offs and play them
and then with my winnings i'm gonna go to Morongo and play some slot machines.
Here's a little homework assignment.
Win-win.
For the people out there.
Tally up who's won all these quizzes and stuff.
And who's won the most quizzes so far?
I'm curious.
I feel like there is a tally of that.
Somebody's got that going.
They are?
Yeah, on the Discord.
Well, make it public.
Here's the thing.
I asked for a Wikipedia
just to legitimize us as a podcast.
And they were like,
we'll make a Wikipedia.
And then they went crazy
going down this rabbit hole
of who won all the quizzes
and all that shit.
All I wanted is something on Wikipedia
that you could click on
and says that you exist
and you're legitimate.
Clickopedia.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time.
And if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys.
For only $5, you get two podcasts a week.
That's right.
You get the bonus.
The Sloppy Boys blowout.
The better show that we actually care about, work hard on,
put our whole hearts into it.
Thanks for a great year, and on a serious
note, thank you for a really good
year. We'll see you in
2024 where we've got
tons planned.
Thanks, folks. Tons more
in 24. Thanks,
folks, and thanks to my co-hosts
yeah
and thanks to you Jeff
you do a lot of hard work
on this show
oh thank you
and you too Tim
you do a lot of work
on this show too
well thank you Mike
I just show up and say
are we done yet
yeah but if not for you
the show would never end
every week
so
yeah
hey you're welcome folks
bye folks
bye Hey, you're welcome, folks. Bye, folks. Bye.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.