The Sloppy Boys - 169. Caesar
Episode Date: January 12, 2024The guys make the Bloody Mary’s clammy cousin. Will they say “Hail Caesar,” or “Et tu, Bruti?”CAESAR RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Vodka4oz/120ml Clamato2 dashes Worcestershire2 dashes TabascoPrepared Ho...rseradish to taste (optional)Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.
Hello, hello.
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up?
And we are your hosts refreshed and reborn into the new year.
Yes, we've launched into 2024 like the baby New Year's.
In our diapers.
Like the babies get launched.
Baby New Year got launched in 2024 and he saw the three of us.
Come with us, little friend.
We'll have a fun time.
Let's see if I can stick to my resolution.
You guys remember I said that this year I'm going to speak.
Oh, you want to talk less.
A third less.
I don't like this.
I'm going to speak 33% of this podcast.
One third of the pod.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
Because sometimes I hit three thirds.
Well, our episodes will be a third shorter now.
Jeff, I see you over there
drinking an Angry Orchard.
Oh, yeah.
You know I'm cracking AOs over here.
A-O, A-O, A-O, A-O.
Now that's a Bastille drink
for you, baby.
Angry Orchard.
They sent us each two 12 packs
because we did
one of their drinks
can you believe it
Angry Falls
we love it
it only took three years
it was great
somebody sent us booze
we love product
it's nice to have
a little Angry Orchard
in the house
because you're there
you say
oh I don't want a beer
I don't want to mix a drink
oh here's something
with a light little crisp taste
yeah it's like a motz
with some edge
yeah it's motz it's mommy and daddy's motz
oh speaking of motz is coming up later in the episode tim go ahead
well yeah let's plug it real hard and maybe motz sends us a little clamato
i've got a uh going back to ao i was was trying to, John Haskell, he's the guest on Questions for Lennon this month.
Very funny guy.
You know him.
He's directed some videos.
He and I have been in College Guys, that show, that Instagram show that drops every so often.
This, I was trying to figure out this joke and it wasn't working because I kind of realized I was wrong.
But here's the joke.
How come, oh, oh yeah.
Artificial intelligence.
That must be...
That must have been made by some New Jersey mobsters.
You know, aye, aye.
And as I was saying it, I was like, oh, the Sopranos people say, aye, oh.
Yeah.
So we had to kind of pretend like hey
hey that's what people say
um
this is a really good opportunity for
me here Mike to rain on your parade where
I used to work with John
this is eating into your time by the way
oh fuck no I'll forego
it oh no no it's good
I want to hear about the time no keep this going
because you used to work with John.
I used to work with John at I love you America with Sarah Silverman.
I love the guy.
Hey,
some might say that I introduced him to,
to you.
Well,
yeah,
I brought him in direct to videos.
Um,
he's the best.
Uh,
and,
but then I,
he makes videos that I used to,
we used to,
I used to joke.
I never called him a ripoff of Tim and Eric,
but I would say you're Tim and Eric derivative, or I would call him a ripoff of Tim and Eric, but I would say, you're Tim and Eric derivative.
Or I would call him a ripoff and he would correct me and say,
I thought you said I was just derivative.
Anyway, it's been a long time running joke.
Anyway, Tim and Eric were on the picket lines this summer
getting interviewed by a news crew about the WGA strike,
and they were asked about AI,
and then Tim goes,
AI think that we should be doing the writing ourselves,
and Eric said AI,
and they went into a whole thing.
So basically, this is an opportunity for me
to accuse John Haskell of being derivative
of Tim and Eric yet again.
Yet again.
Ouch.
Okay, well, that's good to know.
Gotcha, John.
Gotcha, John.
That was a real gotcha.
Now I won't talk for the next nine minutes, but I used it to make my friend feel worse.
Well, here's some, I got something for you to talk about here, Tim.
Great.
Something you're going to love.
But you can't talk.
Jeff, I'll talk about it with you.
I had a brain, I had a brainstorm recently. Okay. I have can't talk. Jeff, I'll talk about it with you. I had a brainstorm
recently, okay?
I have some time off. I have a week
off in February, okay?
Nice. I'm not going to tell you which week because
we'll discuss specifics off air.
I don't want the audience to know when I have time
off. Valentine's trip.
I'm thinking this.
I say the three of us go to Sun Valley,
Idaho. For Valentine's Day?
Not for Valentine's Day
For a couple days, from a Sunday to Thursday
From the 12th to 14th?
We're not, just stop
Tim, would you come in and help me out here?
Well
I could see us on the 14th all having a romantic
dinner together, I like that
Sun Valley, now this is
this is the fancy place.
This is Aspen level.
Yeah, but it's not going to be well.
It's going to be February, so it's not going to be like the holiday crowd.
There'll be some skiers.
No, but you can ski, though, right?
But it'll be in the week.
We can ski.
And if you don't want to ski, you're still in Sun Valley.
You can apres ski.
That's right.
I think this would be a fun idea for us.
I think the
I think this could be a fun idea for
us. To go on vacation?
I think the us
playing the Aspen residency is not
going to happen.
Fuck my whole life. I just don't think that's
happening. It's too late in the
planning process. But if the
three of us get up to sun
valley and do some skiing i don't even care if you guys ski i just want to ski but we can get a
nice place sun valley i'm typing it in that's dope so sun valley i've been to i was in mccall
idaho this summer it was beautiful okay sun valley is getting into like you're near like
ketchum or hemingway uh ketchum ketchum I think is where like the main, if I was reading my
maps correctly, that was where the main
It's a whole chunk of the country that I've neglected
I've always wanted to go to like
Kanye Country, Wyoming
Jackson Hole, Grand Teton
all of that stuff. Jackson Hole
You've always wanted to go to Jackson Hole?
Yes, I've always wanted to go to Jackson Hole. I don't buy it
I'm looking for ski places
and I'm looking for an opportunity to hang out with my buds on a trip and I'm looking for those buds to go to a nice town I love it
I love it you go you want to do this I'm gonna start looking at prices and things okay
prices and things Mike you book it you charge we'll go. I charge on the card.
Charge on the...
No, no, the Mike Hanford card.
The one with no one else's name on it.
That's what I don't want to get into.
Okay.
Spending my own cash.
You're trying to avoid that type of thing.
I'm starting to think that this trip...
Mike has wanted to do this trip regardless
and that we are mere write-off tools for him. We're a fucking
write-off? He's trying to
fund his own ski trip
and his Opry friends are going to be getting
drunk?
Something they love to do.
My thought was, ooh, these
are some nice verbos I'd like to stay
in. Too expensive. How can I cut the
price? I know two more. I knew
two friends of mine who would love to stay in. Too expensive. How can I cut the price? I know two more. I knew two friends of mine
who would love it.
Okay.
I know a couple of verbos.
My point is,
it would be fun during that week
to go somewhere and do something.
Yes, we're interested.
Ah, but are you available?
Ooh, I got another idea.
I'm going to think about it.
I'll get back to you.
Ooh, a good cliffhanger.
It's good podcasting, man.
Just for you two.
I'm writing for digman right now
so if i do this trip just a heads up to anyone that watches digman on comedy central and paramount
plus if there's ever like a scene where the characters are not talking and there's there's
just like a minute and a half yeah it's because i went to sun valley and got drunk in a verbal
yeah what do they say well the thing is uh three three days of anime or three minutes of animation
takes about three days so yeah yeah if there's three missing of animation takes about three days.
So if there's three missing minutes.
Three ski days, yeah.
Three ski days.
Tim was gone for exactly three days.
Ah, shit.
Tim was gone for three days.
Yeah, it happens a lot in TV if you keep your eyes peeled for it.
Skiing, let the wind whip through his hair.
Meeting interesting, fun people.
I bet we could score a show down there.
I bet we could.
I'm coming around on this now that we might be meeting interesting, fun people. I bet we could score a show down there. I bet we did. I'm coming around on this now that we might be meeting interesting, fun people.
I got to get out of my shell a little bit, you know?
Yes.
You meet all these uptight, stiff people.
You need to get out to the mountains.
You two, both of you.
And put some skis on your feet.
You guys both need to get out and ski more.
Yeah, right.
What about a board?
Do that. I don't care.
As long as you're paying a third of
the verbo. Yes, right, right.
Or bring friends.
We start splitting this thing up. It pays us.
No, I'm going there to meet interesting friends.
I'm not going to bring my boring LA friends.
Right, right. Good point.
I brought my tax lady, Elise.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Jeez, okay.
Well, Elise didn't know.
You kept awfully quiet about the fact that you could rip up a half pipe.
Actually, can I tell you something about Elise?
Does she do our taxes?
No, that's somebody else who Jeff deals with.
Yeah, you're thinking Marta or Jordana.
Yeah. Marta helped me with my S corp anyway though back to my to at
least absolute rock stars don't comes to yeah we don't need to bleep them dox them yeah actually
let's take all that out because i don't want anyone to work with them because they're very
good and i want them to myself elise has been doing my taxes for a long time and um she's like you know an octogenarian
accountant and uh and and i found out about her past life she worked at the at the playboy mansion
and she was the house bunny and she was like a playboy playmate in the heyday of like the playboy
club like in the 60s version when it was like come on to down to the playboy is the house bunny just a waitress she was like a hostess or a concierge i think she she so she
wrote a book about this and it's about her experiences i can't read this book yeah it's
tell and then it goes all the way up into her her tax clients and she spills the beans on them too
so finally in this last
chapter, let me tell you about the bozo who's been
coming in here. Let me tell you about my tax client
who has a huge uvula.
Oh yeah.
We gotta talk about that. Let's get into that.
Let's save that for booze news, but let me just put a bow on this
skiing trip.
Think to yourself
and you can even answer me, what's keeping
you from a trip like this?
Me?
Either of you.
I know you're going to say money.
The money.
I get that.
I get that.
I crave travel and experience.
It's only just about timing and schedules working out.
The timing and structure.
You're my yes man, Tim.
I love that.
Jeff, i want to
see a little y-e-s's from your mouth a little more less n-o-n-o yeah i bet see here's the thing
i don't crave travel nor experiences hey you don't you don't travel i have plenty
here in my chair looking at my boys in the comfort of my own apartment yep yep it's it's funny jeff it's
like it's not like you got a fear of flight right you're comfortable on a plane it's a hatred
it's a i resent it oh you don't like because you get fucked with so much with your layovers and
yeah well that's because it's not the flying itself right it's it's it's travel he loves it
all the barrel rolls the loop-de-loops. No, the hassle. It's the hassle.
I'm even pre-checked now.
Still, the hassle.
I don't mind the hassle, man.
I'll go to LAX 20 times a year.
I'm talking sitting outside on a porch with a fireplace and a cold drink in your hand,
looking out over a snow-covered piste.
Beautiful.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Jeez.
And then, guess what?
We find ourselves a little hot pool action.
Hot tub pool.
Oh, yeah.
You're outside.
It's snowy.
Tim, I know you're into this stuff.
Yeah, Tim just did it.
I mean, I won an episode of the Sloppy Boys blowout Patreon show called Best Winter Wonder,
and I said, hot tub outside, snow falls, is the best winter wonder. And now, that I said hot tub outside Snow Falls
is the best winter wonder.
That's a hot tub the size of a pool.
Alright, sit on it, think about it. I'll get some
numbers together. I'll get my best guys crunching
some numbers and we'll talk about when we're gonna
go and where. Alright, great. Can we get into some
fucking booze news, please? Thank you!
Nobody's stopping you.
Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip!
Hit it! Oh, that's fun.
The directions are like a Cardi B song.
Shaking.
Slap it.
Slap it.
Do this shit like a drum.
Slap it, shake it, move it around.
Pick me all the way downtown.
Hey, hey.
Beat it up.
I'm in love with my boyfriend. Hey, hey. Shake that ass hey I'm in love with my boyfriend
Hey, hey
I'm in love with my boyfriend
Major K-pop
Major K-pop
We don't let it stop
We don't let it stop
It's booze news, you whipshots
Oh god, that sounds terrible.
I feel like the person got strangled by that thing.
You hear the mouth, just pure mouth.
Mouth sound.
Cardi Booze News was sent to us by Drew.
And if you have a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com.
That was based on when I brought in the the uh cardi b whip shots vodka whipped cream
and it was it was uh the physics were flawed you have to slap it and shake it so much that you
couldn't you couldn't even have fun that was a good that was good drew dj drew i think uh i was
expecting a little more energy in and more like a cardi b so like a bust out yeah where does it
drop but um hey i like that he pulled samples
from a bunch of spots.
Where were we doing?
Yeah, I think that's great.
Drew, I love it.
Just as a great first draft.
We'll see you next week, Drew.
Send it back in.
Send it back in.
Boost it up.
Listen to pop music.
See what's happening.
Where did he get that?
When we were saying like major key pop,
was that from something else?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't remember doing that.
I don't know what that was from.
Major key pop.
It also reminds me, remember we had one that was like digital.
Digital techno.
Digital techno, but somebody turned it into like a charming,
folky analog song.
It was like digital techno.
Folks, when you do one of these assignments,
listen carefully to the assignment.
Yeah.
Folks, when you do one of these assignments, listen carefully to the assignment.
Yeah.
I think, you know, one day we're going to take all these episodes, feed them through AI,
and then you just type a phrase and it'll say, oh, it was in this episode.
Here's the entire script for that episode.
Sure.
I bet you that exists now.
AI.
One day soon. I don't think we should do that.
Oh.
Absolutely.
That's bad.
I got the
components of the joke in my head first,
and then I started talking and said, you didn't
check your ending, buddy.
But I gotta go with the joke. You're flying blind
on this punchline, dude.
Alright,
what's the actual booze news? Enough nonsense.
Well, you remind me,
I had some booze news I was going to talk about that's getting bumped
because here on Booze News, if it bleeds, it leads.
And we just mentioned my uvula.
Yeah, oh yeah.
And this is booze.
It's not just news because it happened recently,
but it was booze related.
Anyone that listens to the pod knows I've had a a journey with all my the holes
of my face which i hope to one day have kind of be a nice hollow channel from from the outdoor air
all the way to my lungs but uh as of now i have a deviated septum i have a large uvula and i have
enlarged tonsils and i have sleep apnea and all kinds of stuff going on. You do sound a little enlarged, a little engorged.
I feel a little engorged.
I also talked about how I was losing a note in my vocal range.
Yeah, we got to get that note back.
We got to get that note back.
Otherwise, no more music.
But some slopheads have DMed me and said it might be nodes on my vocal cords.
So there's a lot of stuff going on.
Anyway, a year ago, I had talked to a surgeon who was like yeah tim i'll deviate your septum and i'll take out your tonsils and while i'm in there i'll snip off the uvula free of charge won't even have
to won't even have to mark that down on the clipboard um so i'm aware of this uvula issue, but over the holiday, I was on vacation.
My first day on vacation in Montreal, Quebec.
I wake up with raging strep throat, which you can notice from white dots in the back of your throat.
But then also I noticed a swollen uvula.
So I say, fuck my my life and i go to urgent
care i get a steroid pill and i get a five-day cycle of azithromycin the antibiotic right right
now have you guys yeah so your your uvula is supposed to look like a little speed bag back
there you know but yours looked like a full-size Everlast.
Yeah.
The body bag that you really sidle up to it.
That's actually the perfect analogy.
Thank you.
It was hanging heavy like that.
I've had it before where it was just long.
It doesn't get rounder.
It just gets long and you can feel it like a worm. At at this point it was just bulgy we'll call it um thick but when you guys are told
don't drink on a medication do you heed that advice because some people are like oh you had
ibuprofen you can't drink you need a seed of benefit and i'm like well i'm sure if i made a
habit i'd eventually kill my liver of doing that.
But I don't tend to heed that advice.
Do you?
No, if it's like prescription drugs,
I don't put it.
Yeah, that's what he says.
He's taking antibiotics and shit.
Yeah, antibiotics, I don't mess with that.
What would be your guess is what happens
if you take an antibiotic?
Like, because, I don't know.
I don't know. don't know i just i
never thought of it because here's what it did to me i i thought like oh i'll be fine it basically
just makes the antibiotic not work so like i gave it a couple days and then i was out at like a
restaurant i was excited to go to so i'm i was having red wine and i i was at uh i was floating
around at a one one of those,
these outdoor spas, uh, out on the mountain.
And I'm like, of course I'm going to drink a little red wine.
So like, I think I kind of shut down the antibiotic by drinking this red wine.
And then the next morning I wake up fully sick again.
So I go, Tim, you gotta stop drinking.
And then by the time I finished my five day cycle, I simply just don't think that antibiotic ever got to kill the infection, right?
Oh, shit.
So it still was going.
I didn't feel –
Maybe even made it a little stronger.
Well, that's what they tell you.
If you don't finish your antibiotics, you're kind of creating like super bacteria, you know?
Ugh.
Monsters.
So slowly over the next week, I go down to New York. Slowly over the next week i go down to new york slowly over the
next week i'm waking up feeling a little feverish a little flourish kind of clocking that uvula is
getting big again ignoring it but i got no more antibiotics to take no more steroids they only
give me the one and then eventually that gets to a day it is fucking uh new year's day in fact
i wake up and i'm laying on my back and i'm like
whoa there's something in the back of my throat i feel this fucker and i sit up and i'm like oh boy
there's what's in the back of my throat and i go to the bathroom and i turn on the uh the flashlight
on my phone and i look in the mirror my uvula is hanging
so low it disappears
behind the horizon of my tongue
and I can't breathe. I've had that before.
You have?
Just long baby. Oh god.
What made it happen to you?
I don't think it was strep throat
but it was when I was like coughing or
feeling like a flu-ish
or something
oh jesus christ so could you did you have trouble breathing yeah not really because it wasn't that
fat as i'm saying well mine was long and thin oh god that's that's gross i know i didn't want to
talk about it well mine was a healthy girthy uvula. Oh, God.
But it was huge.
Dangling on a string.
I joked to my family that it was like a deli salami hanging from a ceiling,
but it was probably not unlike a cocktail weenie.
Are we talking like a grape?
Or like, what are we talking like?
Longer than a grape.
Picture the longer.
And you couldn't breathe.
So, well, I could feel it in my throat
And it was kind of
Blocking the airwave
It was making me a little
It was like a little toe yeah
It was making me a little nervous
But then
When I leaned forward
Into the mirror
To look at it
It swung forward
I cough
And then
It folds forward
And it gets
It blocks my sinuses
So I can't breathe
Through my nose
What the fuck
And then I'm like
I didn't know it could do that Neither did I can't breathe through my nose. What the fuck? And then I'm like...
I didn't know it could do that.
Neither did I.
Jesus.
That's wild.
I'm dying.
I'm choking to death with no air.
I grab a glass of water and chug
and the water knocks it back.
And then I tell my family,
I got to go to the fucking emergency room.
I can't breathe.
So we go to an emergency room
and they look at my throat
and they're like,
oh boy, that's
a big old uvula.
So did you, when you were going, were you just looking down the whole time?
So the uvula would be like hanging in the negative space of your mouth?
I laid back.
In fact, I had it, that was making me nervous and the negative space wasn't, uh, wasn't
large enough.
So I put my seat back and I, I was comforted by the fact that I could feel it along the
back of my throat and there was air
that passed in front of it. But if I sat forward
it would wobble forward and block the throat.
God, that's crazy.
You know what has happened to me is if I've
thrown up and like, you know, sometimes
you throw up like stomach acid
whatever it is that irritates it.
That's when I've had it before.
Well, the answer was
I could feel but never that i couldn't
like breathe or something or it's like a physical object you need to manage and clock where it is
that's so weird that sucks man that's the funny thing too is the when you're in the middle of a
thing like that you kind of forget what normal life was so i was like asking other people like
how aware of your uvula are you not but they gave me a steroid shot in my arm and within an hour the thing shrunk and then i was
like give me a lot of the they gave me like eight days of steroid pills so that's keeping it shrunk
but i think i'm probably just in general i don't want to live like wondering about my uvula so i'm
probably gonna do the snip snip give it the snip give it the snip because we we learned all it
really does all it really does
is give you that extra little drip of saliva you already have it yeah you got if you're if it's
getting in the way and it's already getting infected like if this happens more often you
don't want that no you don't want that it's the little you know when you um you make an old
fashion and you express the orange zest over the top that's the amount of saliva that your uvula is giving
because there's already saliva
coming in from glands on the side, but then just
a little, there's a little,
as your food's going down your throat. I don't need that.
I don't need that. Nobody does.
With all the, with modern
cups and drinking water,
oh my god, no, you don't need that.
Yeah.
There is modern cups and drinking water. The advancements in modern drinking water. Damn, Tim, well, I hope you don't need that. Yeah, there is modern cups in drinking water.
The advancements in modern drinking water.
Damn, Tim, well, I hope you're back on the mend
and keep us posted on the uvula adventures.
Yeah, keep us abreast of just above your breast.
A little farther above the breast, but...
Breast bone, at least.
We need to come up with ideas for what to do with this uh uvula once I get it clipped
out oh you want to put it on
display somewhere well we probably will eventually
do that um sloppy boys
uh music museum
has nothing to do with the podcast just the body
part museum
it's all our foreskins
and uvula
I hope we don't find out that the hidden note
was actually like hidden in the uvulae? I hope we don't find out that the hidden note was actually like hidden in the uvula.
The missing note.
The one that he can't hit anymore?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm hoping to clip it.
I am hoping the uvula was playing defense and blocking that note when I get it out.
The note comes back.
I'm free.
That's a big note.
We use it, folks.
It's the beginning of Tom Collins.
Hi, Santa!
Hey, wait.
It's coming in.
Do, re, mi.
Do.
Sing it.
Just random do.
Do, re, mi.
Fa, sol, la, ti.
Do.
Do.
Do.
That's what you want to do, Tim.
Do.
Mike, you should be on The Voice.
Well, hey, is there any actual booze news?
Or is it just you villain news today?
Okay, that's fine.
You've news.
You've news.
That's it for you've news.
Ooh.
What's that?
And with you've news safely behind us,
we now turn our attention to the drink of the day.
This is exciting.
Oh, my God.
The drink of the day.
The Caesar you've had?
No.
Have had.
I had my first about a week ago.
And when you ordered it, had you heard?
I had heard.
We just did the Bloody Mary.
On the Discord, people were saying, now you got to do the Caesar.
Now you got to do the Caesar.
Yes.
Now you got to do, now you got to do.
We'll do what we got to do.
And me, I like Clamato.
I'm not, I ain't, I ain't afraid of no clam.
I've never had.
I'm a little afraid of it.
I've never, but I'm sure.
But, so I saw it on the menu at this, at Wreckers down in the Bahamas.
Yes, I was down in the Bahamas.
Oh, cool.
And they do Caesars all up and down that little island.
Oh, that's cool.
And it showed up, because I was looking for something Bloody Mary-ish,
and I looked at it and I said, this is a Caesar.
What the?
They didn't have a Bloody, just the Caesar.
Were you like, what, the deuce?
You've been watching a lot of Family Guy?
Mm-hmm.
The fat man.
Mike, don't throw me off on a minute.
Who's introducing this?
Was it made by a bartender,
or was it a canned thing that was poured over ice for you?
Bartender, bartender, bartender.
Oh.
Yeah, we know what you said to get his attention.
Well, how did he make it?
Michael?
Bartender, bartender, bartender.
Tim, you said... I would like a Caesar. i pitched on the chain hey why don't we do
caesar we'll follow up the bloody mary and you say i just had one and i said i just had one
and mike was suspiciously silent i said i don't know what you two were talking about
mike was white as a ghost um well i had just had one because i was texting you from montreal and
did you know that the caesar is the official drink national drink of canada get out of here
really it is very popular up there more popular than the bloody mary it's kind of the go-to of
the tomato drinks um hold on one second keep talking i'll be back in two seconds here's a
thing to talk there's a spider on the wall that I gotta get hold on
oh I wanna hear this though
this is good potting
keep talking
it's good
he's begging for his life
I think he went to get a tool of destruction
this is why we need a video podcast
we could see this we could share this
yeah it could be viral
got him video podcast. We could see this. We could share this. Yeah, it could be viral.
Got him.
That poor soul.
He was going around near the door and he was walking out the front door.
And I said, oh, no, no, no, you don't.
He was walking out the front door and you killed him?
Underneath the, yeah.
I didn't want him coming back in.
That's true. He's probably going to tell his friends.
He was substantial.
It was like one of those spindly ones
you can barely see.
I would have been...
I said, fine.
When they've got some hefty...
When you can spot them across the room,
that's the time to...
Yeah.
All right.
I don't like a spider.
Leave your pod and squish.
Squish.
Squish.
Well, now that all the arachnid murder
is out of the way,
should we get back into the drink of the
day yes i'm so sorry i'm cutting off jeff i'm going to do this thing okay go ahead the caesar
aka the bloody caesar the official drink of canada now this one yeah lots of people are when
we did the bloody we're telling us to make it because it's sort of the clammy cousin made often
made with clamato sort of like clammy cousin in my family oh great or clammy cousin, often made with Clamato. Sort of like clammy cousin in my family.
Oh, greater clammy cousin
here. Hi, everybody.
Sort of pale and damp to the touch.
My friend's uvula
is longer than mine.
If you think mine is long,
you should see his.
Have you heard about Tim?
Hi, dude.
Hi, my you know Tib?
Hi, my name is Stefan. This is my girlfriend
Stefan E.
My neighbors who
lived next to me in a condo off campus
when I went to Ithaca College.
Yeah, we would hear this guy sneezing
like crazy through the wall.
We knew his name was Stefan, so we
said, hi, my name's Stefan.
And we pretended his girlfriend's name was Stefan E.
Stefan E.
Stefan E.
All right.
We are way off topic, way off track.
Back to the Caesar.
Clammy cousin.
We love it.
The clammy cousin.
Okay.
So, you know, according to David Wondrich, cocktailich cocktail historian there's in the mid-20th century
there were a few clammy tomatoey cocktails floating around some people arriving at the
same between the but who's king clam uh king clam will uh definitely be walter chell but before
walter chell there was uh floating around new y, there was the Smirnoff Smiler.
And then Mott's, the brand, when they came out with Clamato in the early 60s, they were pushing the Clam Digger.
And then we also, I have found out that since that I was looking into, some people use Clamato in a michelada.
And I was trying to get to the bottom of like, is that authentic Mexican?
And I found out that that was a Mott's idea that they pushed.
Really?
Of course.
So the Mott's people have their Don Drapers out there pushing the products.
They seem so innocent.
We're just mushing up apples.
It's the same guys uh they're like pushing down and stepping on apples and be like no no it's just this we don't care no no we're
not trying to revolutionize brunch cocktailing the story that that that launches this drink
into the stratosphere is calgary canada alberta right calgary's probably in alberta
um yep home of the calgary flames lanny mcdonald theo flurry theo flurry okay johnny goudreau i
don't think he plays there anymore um formerly keith tuchuk who now plays for the florida panthers
um i think played up there actually
the calgary in a big hotel in calgary in 1969 they um had a bartender there uh i think it was
like the the owl bar walter chell a montenegrin guy was uh working there and the hotel was opening
a an italian restaurant and they said to this bartender hey we need a signature drink
for this new italian restaurant and he took inspiration from spaghetti spaghetti vagnoli
spaghetti and clams and he was thinking oh tomato clam sauce you guys know tomato like a mariner and
clams yeah yeah so he was inspired by this he he didn't use Clamato. He mixed tomato juice with clam juice and vodka, Tabasco, Worcestershire. And he called it a Caesar because it's an Italian restaurant. And he was referencing Julius Caesar.
spreads all over canada uh it becomes like i said more popular than the bloody and uh the first time i had it was um i was at joe beef in montreal and when i was like to prove that this
is a canadian beloved drink the bartender asked me what i want i was like give me something that's
really canadian and he made a and he made me a caesar and is a fancy place. So he was like shucking and dripping and,
and wow.
Like shells were flying around,
but you have to duck from the shells.
I also had one at a Montreal steak.
I was moist.
And they made it with Clamato.
You mainly see this made with Clamato.
And sure.
Mott's wants it that way.
Why don't, why isn't it Clamato? We don't say tomato juice that's like the fancy british way i know yeah they should call it clamato hey well that's how
when i asked for it at the store today i was like uh do you have any clamato and i knew it was
clamato but i was saying it that way i just because i was saying it and he was like yeah hold on and
he uh went back back for a while and brought back tomato juice.
I was like, no, no.
You fool.
No, no, no.
I had when I was at this spa in Canada recently, I ordered one at a bar and they poured me.
They had a big Mott's can pre-mixed Caesar and they poured it over the rocks.
And they still rimmed the glass and stuff. But so it's a it's a popular it's very popular is what i'm getting at and it is not on
the iba list we're doing it because we uh wanted to follow up the bloody mary uh which was the iba
but we're taking our recipe today from good old trusty um liquor.com nice straight and i
cross-checked this with a lot of the classic recipes.
And this tends to be pretty much the go-to.
So we are going to be making this with celery salt to rim glass.
One and a half ounces of vodka.
Four ounces of tomato juice.
Two dashes of Worcestershire sauce.
Two dashes of Tabasco sauce, prepared horseradish
to taste optional, garnish celery salt, garnish cucumber spear, garnish lime wedge.
Here are the steps.
Stock.
Coat the rim of the tall.
Yeah, baby.
Coat the rim of a tall glass with celery celery salt fill with ice and set aside that's
nice add the vodka clamato juice worcestershire tabasco horseradish into mixing glass with ice
pour back and forth into another mixing glass a few times to combine. Interesting. Strain into a prepared glass.
Garnish with a celery stalk,
cucumber spear, and lime wedge.
So is this, this is iceless?
Is that what we're doing here?
No, ice is in the glass.
Oh, right.
Ice is in the prepared glass.
Yeah.
But here's the thing that killed me.
No lemon juice?
I know.
I got lemon thinking it was lemon, but it's lime.
I'm putting lemon.
No, no.
I mean, there's not even lime juice as part of it.
I know.
Oh, yeah, right.
If you're comparing this to a Bloody Mary, you think like, oh, a solid little part of
this is your citrus juice.
Interesting.
It's probably because Clamato is pretty zippy.
It might have some citrus already in there.
Yeah, I think it might be. It's probably because Clamato is pretty zippy. It might have some citrus already in there. Yeah.
It's not like, you know, because tomato juice is pretty dull on its own.
Clamato is.
It's kind of a cocktail on its own, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's souped up.
Souped up.
Damn.
What a weird drink.
When you, I went to Albertsons and I bought Clamato and they had like Clamato and Clamato
Picante and a few options.
And I like the stuff, but it's so weird that there's like a whole shelf of it.
And you're like, if they stock this, it means means somebody's buying it they wouldn't just be rotting so people are
going there and they're buying clamato the one i had was covered in dust but oh yeah i uh i went
to the corner store and i got a nice glass bottle of regular and picante damn i saw one that was
like a michelada mix yeah right because clamato brand finds its way into Budweiser with Clamato.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes, yes.
I've seen that.
But hey, at the grocery store where I picked up all this stuff,
I got two things that looked like cucumbers.
Now, this is the Armenian corner store.
I can't read all the signs.
You got to tell me.
First, I grabbed this.
Thinking, that's a cucumber, right?
That looks like a classic cucumber. Looks like a pickle.
That looks like Pickle Rick.
Looks like Pickle Rick?
Why, that looks like Pickle Rick.
But then what do you make of this guy?
That's a cucumber, baby.
Is that a zucchini?
Maybe?
Or a squash?
Maybe that's like one of those little...
What the hell?
I don't know what that is.
I don't know, but these are the two I got.
I'll do a quick bite test.
The bumpier one looks more cucumber-y, I would say, right?
Yeah, because it looks like a...
Zucchinis are smooth.
Cucumber.
Ooh, that's a good crunch.
That's a cuke.
And now zook.
Now I'm going to bite this squash or whatever.
Zook.
While Jeff's chewing, I'll take this opportunity to
before
Campbell's corrections hits me
I said Keith to Chuck before
Keith to Chuck played in the 90s his son
is who I was trying to find Matthew
to Chuck played for the Flames and now plays
for the Florida Panthers good player
and then just to wrap this up
both kukes different
I knew it different breeds of kuk I knew it two kukes no zukes two k up, both Cukes. Yeah, I knew it. Different breeds of Cuke.
Two Cukes, no Zooks.
Two Cukes, no Zooks.
And that's a win for the J-Man.
Folks, we're going to go make these drinks.
When we come back, we'll have first sips.
That's a win for the J-Man.
Isn't it funny that no Zooks is good news for your Clamato beverage, but no Zooks is bad news for your podcast.
You got to have Jason Montzoukis.
Bad news for your comedy bang-bang episode.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Yeah, it's so weird.
It's so weird.
Let's have Zooks on this show.
All right, folks, we'll see you in a minute.
And we're back.
Caesar's in hand.
Let's see him.
Pretty classic looking.
A lot of green.
Classic, classic.
A lot of green in that red.
It's not as dark as a Bloody Mary.
Yeah.
You got to put more of that Worcestershire.
That's true.
I thought I did a pretty good job. The one I had in the Bahamas was browner.
I remember thinking it looked more like beef stew.
So maybe they were shucking clams down there.
Did you guys take the horseradish option i did yes i did i forewent
i'm not a big fan of the horseradish in well actually maybe in a caesar of my i complained
on our bloody mary episode said that it makes it taste like too much like cocktail sauce but
hey maybe that's clammy that's kind of what i want i want it to taste like cocktail sauce, but hey, maybe that's clammy. That's kind of what I want.
I want it to taste like cocktail sauce because if it's going to be clammy like this, that's what I want.
Well, did you steal a sip of the Clamato yet, Mike?
I was afraid.
Okay, well, then I won't.
Is there clam in this?
What is going on?
Is that actually clam in here?
We'll get into it.
Sips?
Here we go, sips.
Oh.
Ooh.
Oh, that's pretty good.
None of us have straws, so with all the celery stalks bumping into our foreheads, it's so funny.
I know.
I have straws.
I have a whole bucket of them over there, and I don't even use them.
That celery salt rim is so good.
Yeah.
I had a tough time getting the celery salt on there.
It's a thin little glass, so it's got the tiniest little amount on the rim.
I did Lowry's again.
I didn't have celery salt, but it's a good sub, folks.
Oh, that's good.
I thought I put too much Tabasco, but I didn't.
Ooh!
Celery salt's the best taste on earth.
I was going to do spicy Clamato because I had it,
but then I realized spicy Clamato is probably for when you're on the go
and you don't have the Tabasco.
You don't have the Worcestershire.
You don't have the horseradish.
You're on the go.
Grab and go.
You've got to get to work in the morning.
You need your Clamato. You need that Caesaresar to get going you need a spicy clamato michael it's your first experience with clamato on the mic sorry yeah me too no chewing no chewing jeff will be mad at us
um yes it's your first experience with Clamato, Mike. Are you detecting any clam?
Not really.
Let me take another sip.
I don't.
Even when you drink it straight from the bottle, I really don't.
Really?
There's not a little bit of that briny clam?
I'm tasting more of just like the horseradish and lemon.
Yeah.
Even in Clamato, it's like a broth.
It's like a stock.
It adds a briny saltiness.
It's dehydrated clam broth.
Which is so gross.
No, it's not.
But it's not bad.
It's better.
I mean, clam juice sounds a lot worse than like, oh, okay, it's like Old Bay or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I get you.
But I like putting the other stuff in here.
The horseradish, which I wish I had for my tomato, my Bloody Mary last week.
Was that last week?
Two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
Last week it was industry sour.
Right.
You know what I did?
I got myself a bottle of Kettle One for this one.
I went, I really.
Wow, Mike.
It was like $5 more than the Tito's.
I said, you know what?
I'm going for it. I love's an investment and i looked on the the uh differeds guide and they said they said specifically kettle one now if you were making a smirnoff smiler you'd want to use
smirnoff of course that's so funny so this was this was smirnoff vodka as a Smirnoff smiler. Yeah.
Have you seen there's clam juice for sale
at grocery stores
the brand Bar Harbor. It's like
a little glass bottle clam juice. You would use
it for like making clam chowders.
You ever seen that? You guys
are both leaning back away from your mics
chewing your celery stalks.
Yeah, I put my celery stalk away because I can't not chew on a celery when it's around.
So I took a bite.
Now I'm chomping on it.
I know it's bad.
I don't know, man.
This is not quite as good on first sips as that bloody.
I love it because that celery salt rim and the fucking...
that bloody. I love it because that celery salt rim and the
fucking... Kalamata
is better than plain ass
Campbell's tomato juice, so you're starting
from a better spot. What's
nice though is, Jeff, you can take the
elements you like of this and just do it with
your Bloody Mary and no harm, no
foul. True. No harm,
no foul.
Like that salt rim glass
you guys didn't salt the rim last time
what were we doing
I didn't call for it did I
the IBA one so there you go
I still haven't done my voodoo rim
my zaps voodoo dust
rim
but do I have five empty bags of
voodoo pretzel sticks
yes so I'm gonna gather up that dust.
I can probably do one rim with it.
You know, I've been talking about my drink,
my drink that's been in the test kitchen for a while.
Yeah.
That has a rimmed element.
Oh, a rimmed element.
Your butt.
The rim of the glass. not my vibes let's get those all out of the way before we finally do the episode where i show you my new drink um can i
share my uh gross anecdote but it's not about a rimmed butt um i was bringing up bar harbor brand
clam juice you might recognize it it's on the shelves. Well, one time,
around the holidays, back
home with the fam, I wanted to make fancy
Caesars.
And I was like, guys,
I'm not going to use Clamato.
I'm going to go to the supermarket
and I'm going to get a little glass bottle
of this Bar Harbor clam juice.
Okay, whatever you want, son.
Bye. Nobody cared, but i went there and the grocery store didn't have this clam juice bottle that i wanted
but what they did have was a little can of clams yeah okay i said well think about it that's where you get the juice from the clam yeah it's just the
juice tim you got back at home you got a blender waiting for you what if you blend the clams
therefore you got a family full of iron stomachs so i went home i thought there would be enough
brine like just in the can and there wasn't so i dumped a can of clams into the the the uh blender poured in tomato juice and all my ingredients and when i blended it
it made like a thick milky clam milkshake and nobody wanted it nobody i drank one or two i
choked down thick caesars and then that was like the holidays and when i left i put the the there was an extra big
like picture of it i put in the freezer like you guys can help yourself to this clam well clam tim
this is one thing this is one great thing about you is you're like george washington you know
you don't put your troops through anything you wouldn't go through yourself like that that time
you brought uh what did you brought something to a party. Campari. Campari.
Just Campari.
Before I knew jack shit about cocktails.
And you were like, ooh, Campari.
And then you were like, I'm going to just have a couple glasses of this Campari just
so people see that it's safe and see kind of who's going to take it and like it.
When you were saying, like, you're walking around like, hey, people are doing Campari
in the kitchen.
There's Campari over there.
Well, it was before I knew about Negronis or anything.
So I just brought a bottle of Campari. No one was was drinking it so then i poured myself a campari on the rocks
i was like hey everyone you see they got campari hey why are we taking advantage of the free
campari come on not free for me of course because i bought but come on folks and it's funny because
of course if you go to campari.com they're like yeah you can have a Campari neat, or you can have a Campari on the rocks. You can have a Campari in soda.
Ooh.
Now, go on.
I went on to
Google image search to look at
clam juices. If you just...
Because I was looking for that Bar Harbor bottle.
Anyway, which I do recognize.
If you look up just image search for
clam juices, none of the packaging,
none of these looks are very inviting at all.
The labels on the cups.
Right.
Sorry, the jars.
They're so weird.
They're just all so like early 80s and that's where we stopped.
Mike, if you're in the market for clam juice, that ship has sailed.
You're not going to be thrown one way or the other by a label.
They want the clam juice.
It's pretty great. This one boasts no MSG.
La Monica.
That's a good one. It's got some
clams, but then two clamming ships
out in the distance.
Snow's
Bumblebee. Very nice.
The classics. Deep Harvest.
This Clamato
to me has the vibe of like not just like tomato
juice or clam juice but it feels like there's some like corn syrup at play or some concentrators
you know it's kind of a it's it's clamato the clamato has something going it's kind of
glassy i don't know what's going on corn syrup at play yeah i bet you there is yes water tomato
concentrate high fructose corn syrup and then other things a lot of stuff monosodium glutamate
oh that's msg oh that right yeah i know that i would guess hey also in there you got some
dried clam dried clam vinegar, natural flavors.
Who knows what those are?
Clam?
Red chili pepper.
Oh.
Garlic powder, onion.
Give it away now.
Citric acid.
So that's why you don't need your lemon.
Ah.
This is pretty good, though.
I'm not chugging this down, but I wouldn't expect to on a Bloody Mary, either.
I kind of am chugging. Yeah, I finished don't, wouldn't expect to on a Bloody Mary. I kind of am chugging.
Yeah, I finished mine. It was fucking great.
God damn. Okay.
This is
pretty good though.
I made mine nice and hot too, which I like.
With Tabasco? Temperature wise?
With, with,
yeah, with Tabasco,
but more so the horse
radish.
I didn't put enough. I did like half
a teaspoon. Half a teaspoon.
Oh, yeah. Because I wanted to be like...
What did you do?
I took a cocktail serving spoon.
Yeah, that's what I wanted.
I took a cocktail spoon and just...
Wow.
A big plop? A dollop? A healthy dollop?
And you know what?
When I was eating the pot roast I made today,
I made a nice big pot roast with mashed potatoes.
I took some of that horseradish and mixed it in with the potatoes
and just had it for the pot roast itself.
It was pretty good.
Brought out the old Instant Pot.
That's what happens when I'm not.
You should start your own Tam-O-Shanter, Mike. The Han-O-Shanter. when I'm out Start your own Tam-O-Shanter, Mike
The Han-O-Shanter
I know, I basically could
Han-O-Shanter
Han-O-Shanter
People come into your apartment
You cook them a big rice
I think there's like a
There's an app or something like that
Where you can go to
Get like
Home-cooked meals by like
You know, an old grandmother or something but you go to her house
and she like cooks for you
oh man I would love that
there's like things like that like there's an app where you can have
people make stuff for you and it's like a home
cooked meal
wooden spoon I want to say I want to say it's called
wooden spoon
nanacook.com
yeah
geezersongravy.com? Yeah, yeah.
GeasersonGravy.com.
Geasers on the grill.
Yeah, grill the geaser.
Would you change anything about the drink?
I could go more vodka just to see,
because this was only an ounce and a half of vodka,
which is what we call an American shot.
But most cocktails are a two ounce liquor base.
So I might bump up the vodka and see.
Me too.
I'm going to do,
because I'm about halfway done,
I'm just going to kind of keep,
I'm going to add a little bit of each to fill up the glass again.
Sure.
I'm going to do a spicy,
spicy picante this time.
And also more lime juice.
Needs more zip.
Oh, he knows what he wants
folks we'll see you right back here after the ads
and we're back with round two the ca Caesar. I did spicier, limier.
To the max?
More vodka.
Man, why do I love that celery salt so much?
I took a little, I licked my finger and I plunged it on the,
it's like the best taste on earth.
Do you use celery salt for marinating?
Yes.
Or just once the thing is done.
Okay.
I'll use it for anything.
Dress it up, dress it down,
night at home, night on the town.
Is that the little black dress?
Yeah.
I made mine stronger on the vodka
and it still works.
You don't have to...
I think I might have over spiced, if I'm being honest, but it's good.
I don't know if I dialed in my perfect Caesar this episode.
Okay, Jerry Hallowell.
What?
Over spiced.
Spice girls.
Come on.
What do you think?
Final thoughts?
Delish.
I love it.
Order again.
Order again.
Stone Cold Classic.
One of the best.
Right up there.
order again stone cold classic uh one of the best right up there i mean i if if i how would you even distinguish this from a bloody mary because they're both customizable you can both
spice them up spice them down you don't notice the difference between tomato juice and clamato
this might be as good if not better yeah that's maybe the takeaway for listeners because i know
that people were uh people people
take a little pause when you start throwing around a phrase like clam juice um go ahead and try it
because it's not that weird it's not that different no not at all it's a nice little alternative to
the yeah the other one i think it's a stone cold stone cold classic as well i just wish i really
dialed in my perfect caesar you know yeah yeah damn yeah. Damn. Everyone, you know, just do it on your own time. Don't rush yourself.
Please, yeah,
do it on your own time.
Not while the listeners
are paying their...
Not on the pod.
Not on the pod.
No, I'm going to,
next time I find myself
at a country club,
which isn't often,
I'm going to say,
give me a Caesar.
Mike, make a special trip.
I wonder if it's as breakfast-y.
Or a brunch, too, which I'm also not very often at brunch.
I wonder if the Canadians only drink these, you know,
because bloodies are brunchy plane drinks.
But I wonder if Canadians are drinking these at night.
I would love to be out at night drinking a Caesar with my boys.
Maybe when we're in Sun Valley, we get a round of Caesars.
I love that idea, Tim.
Thanks for bringing that back.
That sounds good.
Hey, last time I was on a plane.
Oh, God.
The lady next to me, I'm not one to make conversation on a plane.
Lady next to me, though, orders tomato juice.
And I said, and my earbuds were off.
This is like time to talk.
And I said, hey, that's funny.
Do you drink those on the ground?
Or like, you know, because some people on a plane, they drink tomato juice.
And it's kind of a weird little thing they do on a plane.
She goes, I drink them all the time.
I drink them all the time.
I shared a fun fact in the Bloody Mary episode.
I was trying to give you a bit of my charm.
At 30,000 feet.
It ain't working.
This lady, if you track this lady down, I would like to have a little talk with her.
What about my anecdote?
Doesn't work on me, you little pipsqueak.
But lady, the elevation impedes the taste buds.
Now move, I need to pee again.
Again?
You've been drinking too much of that juice.
Now move, would ya?
Piss in the can.
I'm looking at Jackson Hole stuff right now.
This is going to be a good trip for us.
That's true that that will be a good trip,
but we're done talking about the drink,
but the drink was good.
Did one of you guys mention that it was from Canada?
I think you did. One of us did, yeah. One of us did. Yeah, well, one of the three of us it was from Canada? I think you did.
One of us did, yeah.
One of us did.
Yeah, well, one of the three of us.
It was me, yeah.
It's hard to tell because we each talk only 33% of the time.
Yeah, yeah.
It could be anyone.
Yes.
Now, you've heard of a drink that is from Canada,
and that much is true.
Yeah.
But are you prepared for the Canada Challenge?
Oh, no.
Wait, the Canada Challenge?
Yes.
Are you prepared for the Canada Challenge?
Are you prepared for that?
There it is again.
Okay.
No.
So, okay.
I'm curious to see how this.
Okay.
Well, that's our show.
Check us out on Patreon.
I'm not ready.
No, no, no.
How does it differ from one of our famous quizzes, I wonder?
Well, I can't even talk about it
while Mike's Googling Jackson Hole left and right.
How could you tell?
Because I see Verbo reflecting in your glasses.
Damn, I told my optometrist I didn't want that to happen.
I was like, what's...
All right, all's... All right.
All right.
Okay, here's how it is going to work.
Canada, let's be honest, there are neighbors to the north, are they not?
Yeah, if we're being honest.
God damn it, I keep choking on spices.
I over spiced it.
You probably got your uvula all out of whack.
No, mine's good.
spices. I overspiced it. You probably got your uvula all out of whack. No,
mine's good. Guys,
this is a buzzy
episode for us at our Neighbors in the
North. People look at our episode guide,
they click on the drinks that appeal to them,
so a lot of our aforementioned
Neighbors to the North, as they like to
be called, are going to be...
No, I've never checked out this show. I hear it's fun.
Like who, Liz? Oh my god, Liz!
Yes, come on! Oh yeah, Liz. Oh, like who? Liz? Oh, my God. Liz. Yes. Come on. Oh, yeah.
Liz is from there.
Vancouver citizen Liz.
They're going to be...
Well, she listens to the show anyway, but people who've never sampled the show are going
to be clicking and they're going to be listening.
And it would be nice for us to do the polite service of sort of paying a little homage
to them.
So... Yeah. uh the polite service of sort of paying a little homage to them so yeah we're gonna we're gonna show how much we appreciate and care about their culture um with this little challenge uh jeff's
gonna go first mike is gonna go second oh interesting and the way that this works is is yeah i have just uh in our little zoom screen in the chat jefferson sent you the lyrics to the
canadian national anthem yes yes you did and i'm going to have you perform a vocal an acapella oh
this is vocal performance of the canadian national anthem and i will listen closely and i will be judging on phrasing and pitch timothy
and heart tim i know you're you've got your little fingers crossed you want another danny
boy situation on your hands i see what's going on here i don't know what you're talking about
i never listened to that episode does he know the canadian the tune of the canadian national
anthem that's a good... But even if he
does, his co-host Tim
is going to be judging him on phrasing
and pitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get you.
I get you. This is kind of long for singing.
Okay, here we go.
It's a national anthem. It's not as long as a...
As what?
Armageddon. Okay, sure.
Ready? Here we go. Would you refuse to
play live? No, I don't refuse i will i
will do it but first things first michael the canadian national anthem as sung by dots
clear that throat oh canada our home and native land.
Fuck, he knows it.
True patriot, love in all of us command.
With glowing hearts, we see thee rise.
The true north strong and free
From far and wide
Oh Canada
We stand on guard for thee
It speeds up a little bit
It speeds up there
It gets a little cranny
They do that
God keep our land glorious and free
Oh Canada Keep our land glorious and free.
Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Wow.
Unbelievable.
Now, Jefferson, I am very impressed.
I thought this was going to be another Danny Boy situation as like what happened to our iconic Irish slammer
episode.
But here's,
here's what you had,
Jeff.
You had,
you had the melody.
You had it.
Yeah.
When it came to the phrasing,
some of the syllables were not perfectly aligned.
Oh,
and now we turn to your little Tim.
You know,
when Mariah Carey sings the National Anthem...
She makes it her own.
She takes liberties.
She kind of makes it her own.
So we're talking about these were...
That was panache points.
Yep.
Yeah, that's what we're saying.
That is what we're saying.
Okay, well...
Nicely done.
Steve panache.
You're duds.
You're a pop star.
You made it your own.
Thanks.
That Steve panache joke is a joke for
the canadian football basketball fans our neighbors to the steve nash steve nash was a yes okay now
michael yes i uh you are a hockey fan so i imagine you've heard this song so i was able to laugh at Jeff because I knew he was singing it incorrectly.
Okay, but he did have the melody.
His phrasing was a little off.
And now it's your chance to see if you can trounce him and give a perfect performance.
He's singing the same song?
Let me take a sip of my Clamato Caesar here to loosen.
I always sing the Canadian National, but the better after a few Caesars. Oh, Canada, our home and native land.
Oh, my God. True patriot love in all of us commands.
I'm crying.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise, thee Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
This is maybe some rousing drums, maybe fireworks if they do that.
God keep our land glorious and free Oh Canada
We stand on guard for thee
And then I'm used to
Oh Canada
We stand on guard
For thee
That was moving, Mike. stand on. Oh my god. For thee.
That was moving, Mike.
That's not bad.
That's very good, and even with the advantage of going second and having
been teed up by Jeff, you nailed the
phrasing. Mike, you have won the
Canada Challenge. Thank you. That's the whole challenge?
What do I get, a Canada Dry?
But Jeff. What?
What? What? What do I get? A can of the dry? But Jeff. What? What?
You do get a can of dry.
Now, Jeff, I had prepared some
tiebreaker questions in case
you guys had tied. And
you know what? I've heard that our
neighbors to the north have a certain thing where
if you
Yeah?
This is interesting.
No, Mike, let him finish.
I have one, two, three, four, five, six questions here.
If you can get five of the six questions,
then you usurp the throne.
Wow.
Five of the six.
Is he going against me or are they just on his own?
He's going against you.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
He's going on his own.
Oh, no.
To make the loss more humiliating?
I don't appreciate that.
Tim, you seem flip-floppy.
What would our neighbors to the north do? Our neighbors to the north would have Jeff go alone. I'm going to ask him one, two, three-floppy. What would they do in, you know, what would our neighbors to the north do?
Our neighbors to the north would have Jeff go alone.
I'm going to ask him one, two, three, four, five, six questions.
Or we should just do, or I get first ups.
You know what I mean?
Okay, how about that?
Oh, that's good.
It's like you get first ups.
We'll just do one.
Like if Mike can't get the question,
then it's like, okay, nobody got it.
We keep moving.
Nobody could get it because he's like the Canadian quiz champ.
So if he can't get it, no one.
I bet Tim doesn't even know the answer.
It's funny that nobody's brought up that Mike went to college in Canada for like, what was it, a year?
A year.
Plus, we all mentioned that I played hockey and I've watched hockey games.
I've heard that.
So you're like the Canada guy.
And then Tim's got a Canadian blood games. I've heard that song. So you're like the Canada guy. And then Tim's got Canadian blood pumping through his veins.
I'm the Canadian goose.
Tim's got Canadian blood pumping through his little veins.
Yeah.
Canadian gang.
You grew up close to Canada, though.
All right.
Here we go.
Okay.
Jeff.
Mm-hmm.
The 1980s sketch group, The Kids in the Hall, hailed from this Ontario city.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
You know this, Jeff.
Why would you think I know this?
Montreal?
Eh.
No, he said Ontario.
I don't know that shit.
Toronto.
Hanford has it.
Yeah.
He's on the board.
If you gave me two guesses, I would have got it.
Okay, well, let's see it.
One of the three.
Yeah, it's like that Vancouver mantra.
Yeah, right.
Let's see how you do on the next one.
Yeah.
You need to get everyone right now.
Yeah, no.
Well, I don't know if that's what the neighbors to the north would do.
The 1980s sketch show SCTVv was filmed in this alberta city
this alberta city
mario
he does put a lot of sauce on his
i would give him that one i'm gonna give him that one it's just very authentic He does put a lot of sauce on his...
Yeah, I would give him that one.
I'm going to give it to him.
I would give him that one.
It's just very authentic.
So yes, Jeff, the answer.
I was looking for Edmonton, but yeah, you put a nice sauce on it.
Okay.
Next question.
mm-hmm this 2000s sketch era sketch comedy groups.
Yeah.
Nova Scotia.
Nova Scotia City.
Hmm.
Do I know a single city in Nova Scotia?
Do I even know the big one?
You know what that sound means, Jeff?
That ice clinking sound means you got to hurry up.
Uh-uh.
Oh, he buzzed himself. Michael? I'm going to guess Halifax. Oh, he buzzed himself.
Michael?
I'm going to guess Halifax.
Yes, Michael.
It is Halifax, Nova Scotia.
I think that's the only city I know in Nova Scotia.
Damn.
Well, you're lucky because thanks to that, you just won the Canada Challenge.
Woo.
So two cans of Canada Dry for me.
Yep, coming your way.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media, at The Sloppy Boys,
where we release these recipes ahead of time.
And if you can't get enough boys,
go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys for The Sloppy Boys Blowout.
That's our weekly bonus episode,
where we talk about other fun stuff,
like the best music video.
Oh, that's fun. That's this week.
That was a fun one.
That rocks.
Rocks and rolls. It's ready to rip.
Good episode, guys. Yes, very good.
A good episode, those of you
listening at home.
Wow. We love you.
See you next week. Bye. Peace.
And ladies
and gentlemen, here comes
the Danny Boy Challenge.
Hit it.
Oh, Danny Boy.
The pipes.
The pipes.
Oh, no.
Oh, this is a train wreck.
Let me begin. Please start. Please start. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is a train wreck. Let me begin.
Please start.
Please start, Jeff.
Oh, yeah, start.
I meant I was going to say.
That was good, though.
Oh, Tim, I hate you so much.
That was really good, though, what we heard.
Yeah, I bet it was.
Here we go.
Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes.
The pipes are calling from glen to glen and down the mountainside. Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.