The Sloppy Boys - 171. Gin Fizz
Episode Date: January 26, 2024The guys make a frothy, fizzy gin sour that first appeared in the 1876 edition of Jerry Thomas' The Bartenders Guide.GIN FIZZ RECIPE2oz/60ml GIN1oz/30ml LEMON JUICE.75oz/22ml SIMPLE SYRUP .5...oz/15ml EGG WHITECLUB SODA to top (about 1oz/30ml)Add ingredients (except soda) to a shaker and vigorously dry shake (without ice) for 15 seconds. Add3-4 ice cubes and shake until chilled. Strain into chilled collins glass and top with club soda.Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.
Hey!
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up?
And we're your hosts, putting in the work week after week.
Now Jeff, when you say deep dive, what are you picturing?
Actually, you and Tim, are you picturing someone diving deep into like a lagoon with a scuba
stuff on it or like a deep dive?
Like they've gone way up high and they're diving deep off a platform.
Like a high dive?
Yeah.
Kind of both.
Because you need that initial height to go to go down deep gotcha gotcha i think
the visual in my head uh 170 something times when jeff has said that is is actually like it's it's
it's a guy maybe it's jeff but i wasn't really focusing on the face but i picture a guy
with a big book like those big dictionaries they have at the library open up big and he's kind of
he's like pouring over it.
Like that type of deep dive.
But then there was a little bit of motion.
Like maybe he's diving physically diving into the book as well.
Yeah.
Maybe he's on a ship or something.
It's in the library room of a big yacht.
Yeah.
We're kind of doing both.
Yeah.
We're doing both now in a way.
Um,
that's good to know.
Have you guys ever been snorkeling or scuba diving?
I've only been snorkeling. I have, uh scuba i'm not certified you see all right you got you get
certified i've been snorkeling i love it i'd love to see all the fish down there i went snorkeling
once and there was a wreck um really i think this was i think this was off the coast of the Bahamas, but like Abaco, I want to say. This was like when I was 10. Avatar.
Avatar on Pandora.
No, no, no.
There's a boat that had sunk, and it had been
there for a while, and they just kind of kept it as a snorkeling
tourist attraction, so it's covered in barnacles
and moss and stuff, but you get to feel like you're
sort of going through the
Titanic or something.
Yeah, you know. But the crazier
one was, we had the FunSaver underwater cameras. Yeah. But the, the crazier one was we had the fun saver
underwater cameras, you know, like the, but it had a plastic shell. Sure. So I was taking photos
underwater and my dad and I were like, what's that over there? It looks like a jellyfish,
but it's upside down. And wouldn't you know, it was like this upside down half circle with all
these tendrils coming out of it.
Like this is a very confused jellyfish or something.
We get closer.
Turtle shell poached, gutted, entrails spilling up into the water.
Disgusting.
Sad.
Sad.
Very sad.
But I took a picture of it.
Yeah, it was sad.
I think everybody in that era took a waterproof and a plastic case Insta camera down to Florida.
Yes.
I know we did.
It's sad when you see a turtle who's been murdered because, you know, turtles live long lives.
So it's not like he was going to die the next day anyway.
He could have lived to 80.
Right.
Yeah.
He probably remembers the age of president grant
yeah eight years ago um yeah maybe you're right i went to one time in uh kawaii i went to the
queen's bath people talk about where it's this natural pool that's formed by the tides
in the rocks and there's a bunch of turtles there mike you did you go there no i i remember seeing it on my uh my uh
looking around at places to go in kawaii but i didn't go um it's funny because you you're like
oh this is where these turtles swim when you go watch and these turtles were getting fucking
creamed by the waves and they were like wow they were like upside down and they were like drowning
and i was like is this what they do all day every day they're just here like living in hell uh they didn't seem to want to be there but they're not getting bashed
are they they're getting like bashed against coral they're getting bashed and trashed it was
black rocks like like volcanic rocks and they were like swimming and then as the tide goes out
it like leaves this pool but like i guess during the hours when the tide is coming in or something
like that it's just smashing around it turns into a blender for turtles they were like hitting their
heads on the rocks and be like it's so funny we're drowning like an animal an animal like
they're they work on such instincts to like see one get caught unawares like that
it's so funny like oh shit
even though they do it every single day
that's funny
I agree it's funny that's why I told the story
you see just living in fear
do they ever do they ever pop up on
right next to you and go whoo pretty lucky we got
these shells on huh well going back
in whoo you know what actually happened? I was at my
luxury hotel. I was in my
luxury hotel swimming in the pool and they came
and they watched me and they were like, ha ha, look how
he flops around in there.
Look at his little dick.
Yeah. I said,
no, don't look at my little dick. Leave it unseen.
It's smaller than my tail.
Leave me be. Leave it unseen. Leave's smaller than my tail. Leave me be.
Leave it unseen.
Leave me be.
Unseen and unspoken of.
That's good.
What do you feel?
It feels like kind of a chill vibe.
I feel like I'm in a very tired state.
Not even tired.
Because we all had the day off of work today.
We're recording early because you requested it. it now you're telling me you're tired yeah could you imagine if it was later
today though oh you're right you'd be wearing a sleeping cap and blowing out a can now you
mentioned it that's good no i'm not tired i just feel very it just seems all right i might not be
have the highs and the lows in this episode you're low energy jeb bush that's okay that's okay for
this one mike you could always get rid of the lows we don episode. It's your low energy Jeb Bush. That's okay. That's okay for this one. Mike, you could always
get rid of the lows. We don't really need
the lows.
Lows, I won't yet, but I'll just
maintain this sort of mid-level.
If this drink is really great, I go,
alright, pretty great. Mike, don't do
a level that's mid. Don't be
mid. We have a lot of Gen Z listeners now.
Wait, so what's mid? That's no good.
No, they don't like mid
middle of the road do they like bad they prefer bad you know the 80s everything was bad now it's
mid do you ever listen to other podcasts and everyone is no i kind of really don't either
but when i stopped when we started ours yeah i really did I'm not gonna I I never actually really
I didn't listen to any podcasts like this I like ones that are like produced like uh switched on
pop or something like that or like cereal I guess I listen to Las Culturistas a lot and that's very
funny and that's just a riff sesh but um for the most part I don't listen to pods and then when I
do everyone is so laid back and they're like yeah
and then i'm like why why am i screaming my my head off every weekend especially then after this
we record our patreon shows and i'm screaming because i'm tipsy you don't need to scream
you got that espresso martini energy it's coursing through your veins you need to get it out
it's so funny when when we do these recordings like any one of my neighbors outside my door is
just hearing one end of three different people talking about something stupid and to hear
someone like wow to just hear you be like, this is an O-A. Hey, O-A-O.
You just hear one side move.
Hey, O-A-O.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Ugh.
When you listen to your own recordings.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Hey, can we get into some booze news, please?
Yeah.
I would love that.
Do, do, do, do you have it?
Dust.
I'm collecting the dust. I'm up to three bags. Do you have it? Dust. I'm collecting the dust. I'm up to three bags.
Do you have it? Do I have five
empty bags of my Zaps
voodoo dust?
Gather up that dust.
Zaps of voodoo dust.
Three empty bags
of voodoo dust. Dust.
Do you have it?
Dust was sent to us by
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And if you have a Booze News theme, email it
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and then you and Finkinky will be palling around
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theme song. And if you don't like Finky,
we can get you a friend that we guarantee you
like. Yeah, we'll match you up with just
the right person to go on
lunch dates with and talk about
the latest season of
King of Thrones.
King of Thrones? the latest season of uh king of thrones it was at the king of queens game of thrones matchup i'm trying to get that going they shouldn't do that what's the new game of thrones called it's
it's like house of dragon house of the dragon um yes um yeah did you see that viral video the night that that
premiered there was like a video
of a building in
an apartment building in New York
and you could that show is so
popular that you could see by the lights
flashing that like several
of the apartments were watching the show
yeah it's like three out of five apartments in this building
is watching and you can tell the way that like
they're all flickering in unison. That's cool.
I wish our podcast was like that.
We all had dragon fever back then, didn't we?
I would like the Sloppy Boys to be so popular that if you're listening in your house and you go out to run errands,
you can just leave the house and you would hear it in a car passing by and then a bus and then somebody listening on a boom box and you
walk into the store and the store is playing it so all the same song or just different songs
no no no this is a podcast episode i guess oh oh oh or the band which what do you rather
probably the band i don't like either if you had to pick one that blows up the band
band i don't like either if you had to pick one that blows up the band yeah the band oh yeah for sure by a mile sorry folks yeah you're right there are other things we like doing better than this
and just like being a podcast that blows up is like uh oh there's another one i mean just being
a being a famous man just the most fun thing on earth being a famous podcaster is just like
you make more money but you're doing the same
fucking shit here's the thing none of us no none of us and nobody who has a podcast grew up loving
podcasts right so there's there's no there's no like it's hard to be proud of this is hard to be
proud of oh you're pioneers you're pioneers now yeah i guess there is a there's this disconnect and i
think that's the reason jay is like i've noticed this where first like say a joe rogan gets huge
uh and mark maron gets huge from their podcasts but their stand-ups and they want to keep doing
stand-ups so now suddenly their stand-up tours are bigger and bigger theaters and then arenas.
And then their specials are popular and stuff like that. But it's not really their stand-up comedy that got them there, but they just have this big fan base.
And I feel like in the last, especially in the last just couple of years, there are some comics that are hugely popular podcasts with terrible stand-ups like that are
bombing at their own shows but they have they're playing to like 10 000 people because their
podcasts where they interview like their friends yeah it's like now you can fill the house and bomb
yeah exactly and it's also just like you're not you're not even working on this material you're
just like oh i'm gonna go on the road and make some money. But I think that they have it in their minds.
Like we were saying, it's like, I'm a stand-up, so that's what I do.
And so I got to do the thing I set out to do.
No, Tim, I'm glad you brought up that stand-up stuff because it segues beautifully into me
announcing that I am going to be doing a show in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at Bottle Rocket.
Doing an hour of stand-up there.
I'm sure they're going to have some openers for me.
February 3rd
in Pittsburgh. Bottle Rocket.
I'm excited to check it out. Mike, that is so
admirable that you have a fucking hour. They put French
fries on their sandwiches and
salads there. What?
Hold on. I'm getting two things here.
Thank you, Jeff. It's not that admirable.
It's just a hour of jokes
there's no i'm working on it i'm really trying to fine-tune something and then tim you said
something about french fries i mentioned french fries on salad um french fries on salad they put
french fries on salad there um i've never been i've always wanted to go it seems like a cool
like uh like well you know warhol's from there for sure but you know you could also just kind I've never been. I've always wanted to go. It seems like a cool, like a, like.
Well, you know, Warhol's from there.
For sure.
But, you know, you could also just kind of go down in the coal mines and, you know, get some Carnegie steel.
That's what it is.
Steel mines.
Steel.
Get some of that steel for home.
I bet it's cheaper if I get it from the source.
What's steel made of?
You can just find steel on the ground.
Yeah, it's cheaper.
Steel and iron, I think.
I don't know.
Well, hey, hold on.
How come on our show, we play the Booze News theme,
and then we continue to jack off for like five minutes
and then talk about the Booze News?
I know, it's stupid because we already do chit-chat
at the top of the show,
and then it's time to get down to business,
and then we do more chit-chat.
Fuck.
Okay, well, here's today's booze news.
I don't mind it.
I have some booze news too.
I have a clip, Jeff.
Play my clip.
Taylor Swift allegedly has a new favorite cocktail.
This is how to make the French blonde.
This drink is very different than her previous go-to, which was a vodka diet Coke.
This one is super sophisticated and delicious sounding.
It starts with three quarters of an ounce of St. Germain,
followed by an ounce of a London dry gin. But I i have hendrix use what you have two ounces of
lily block two ounces fresh peas grapefruit juice and three dashes of lemon bitters if you have them
let me know what you think of blondie's new favorite drinks that was a wow that came fast
yeah it was i didn't warn you that it was going to be tiktok speed um but um taylor swift we've covered her lavender haze um lemonade yeah dynamite dynamite listen to
that drink that folks wait and what did they just say her old go-to drink was what vodka soda vodka
vodka diet coke vodka diet coke oh that's just brutally utilitarian to me but i've been seeing
that around like even in fact saturday night i was at a party and I saw somebody having that, but. Yeah, they're doing a
T-Swift. Taylor was recently out
like the Kansas City Chiefs Wags were having a girls night
and they went to a bar in Kansas City
and this is what they were ordering. And then the owner reported this, that that's
what they were drinking. So she's moved on.
It sounds good.
I like the St. Germain.
It's another pink drink.
So it kind of is similar to the lavender haze lemonade, but St. Germain, gin, grapefruit,
Lillet Blanc, lemon bitters.
It feels to me a similar vibe.
It's a little bitter, but pinky and fresh and bright.
What's that called?
Something blonde?
Fringe blonde? French blonde. French. French. French. Okay. little bitter but pinky and fresh and bright what's that called something blonde fringe blonde french french french french okay uh saint germain that's your elderflower liqueur yes
correct them on no day ah we got that for something yeah we got that we got a lot of
that we got that lily blanc little blank yeah i think if this drink like catches on we should
do it as of now it's just one viral tiktok
who knows if people are making it but um i i do think it looks like a good drink so it wouldn't
even oh wouldn't just be a novelty wait it's a drink for taylor swift yeah it's gonna go viral
yeah she's actually pretty famous she did um an heirs tour um yeah oh yeah she did a really good
heirs tour because other people have done heirs tours that don't go so well no um she did a really good heiress tour because other people have done heiress tours that don't go so well
no I did a new era tour where
I was just showing off some of my hats
your baseball caps
yeah this one's the Dodgers and it's
blue
this one is
the color of the USC
Trojans
Mike I lost that one.
I know.
I'm pissed.
A nice maroon and gold Dodger hat.
Ooh, that was a good look.
I wore it in the fall, you know, sort of a fall color scheme.
Yeah, that was a good look.
But now what do I do? I'm nothing but a hairhead.
I got a tiny bit of booze news.
So last night I get home.
I was just having a night in after some errands and such.
And I said to myself, I want to have a little bit of a sort of a fun, kind of a tiki-ish drink.
And I said, I don't really want to make anything.
And then I bought Ocean Spray Crayon Tropical Cranberry Mango Guava Orange flavored stuff.
And I said, all right right i'm just gonna take
an ounce and a half two ounces of tequila mix it with that and put ice it was delicious
it's expecting rum but yeah tequila would be good in that too i know not to kid not to eat but i was
trying i was wanting like a fruity margarita yes that sounds great it's hanford we're talking here
there's gonna be something surprising like when, when the tahini happens,
you're like,
Oh,
martini with the heen.
And then you're like,
Whoa,
all of right.
Oh,
lemon juice.
Holy shit.
And there's no tea in the drink.
The teen is only,
he is,
is it right?
That was an order again for me,
but this is,
it was such a,
a fun little quick one.
Just a,
Ooh,
I need a little something extra besides just a whiskey on the rocks or a beer.
Splash, splash.
Done.
Hold on.
What's that called?
Crayon Tropical?
Crayon Tropical.
It's from the Ocean Spray line.
Very good.
Oh, from the guys who brought you a cranberry cocktail.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Give it a whirl.
Give it a try.
Crave the wave.
Basically, what I'm saying is don't be scared in the cocktail test kitchen.
Try it out.
I really like that ocean spray logo me too hey who was the guy who went viral drinking ocean spray listening to fleetwood oh yeah fleetwood mad dog mad dog big dog dog face dog face
he's good dog face that was a funny thing because it's like that video gets big on tiktok
and then now it's like he's like okay i have a big tiktok account so i checked in like a month
later and he was just like dancing in his kitchen like everybody else yeah for a while he was
drinking ocean spray to like other bands from this uh it was you have to admit that first video was a whole ass mood oh my god it was this just this
yeah that's the tweet that's the tweet that's the tiktok tweet when we did the cape cotter
they we learned that ocean spray had a funny they changed their name to ocean spray but it was
something like it was like like massachusetts municipal cranberry farm very dry
name it's like what like a hipster would make like their bar called like the uh portland main
eatery uh it just you know what i mean yeah outpost anyway let me jump off this subject
because i'm not making any sense um shoot what were we
just talking about ocean spray is remember we were talking about the uh we had clamato the other day
i started getting and we were starting we were looking up different types of clam juices for
to look at their labels i was on some website the other news website and i saw like a thing for like
main clam juice.
And I was like, Oh, what is this? Is this part of the story? I was like, Oh no, I'm getting a
targeted ads. You're a clam freak now, Mike. Yeah. So, so it seemed. I saw the funniest Instagram
ad recently where I hadn't come across this. Have you guys seen some ads that are like AI?
where I hadn't come across this.
Have you guys seen some ads that are like AI?
Um,
there's a lot of trickery in Instagram ads.
Sometimes like there's a thing they'll do where they put Joe Rogan,
uh, talking about some vitamin,
but then they put the,
like the subtitles over his lips.
So you can't tell that,
but he was actually talking about something else.
But I saw this like weight loss ad Instagram is trying to body shame me,
I guess,
but it was,
um,
they had taken an interview with John Goodman or not an interview. I mean, just AI John Goodman was talking about this weight loss
thing. And it was very convincing face, very convincing voice. But the copy they had written
for him was like, I have used this product and I have lost a hundred pounds and i recommend this product so
that's so funny that the ai has gotten good but you can still spot it because it's got like
fishing grammar right you're like you read a bogus email you're like is this from facebook or is it
no it's the grammar is all weird and the punctuation is all weird and then you add to
the fact that if you take that type of grammar and then you say it all out loud say it all out
loud it's all the
weirder damn that's i mean it's just the times that we're living in though tech stuff anyway
wrap it up yeah for sure all right is that it for booze news yep wrap it up wrap it up
wario geek shit wario for sure for the win. Yeah, man.
Was he playing tennis in that one or golf?
No, he's racing a cart in that one.
Ooh.
Probably got hit by a peel.
Oh, right, from Wario Racers.
Right, right, right.
Wario's Wacky Racers.
Wario's Wario Racers.
All right, enough shenanigans.
What do you have to get to
so much here?
You have to get to something so important, some topic?
I'm interested in the drink of the day, Mike.
You're supposed to be. You're one of the hosts.
I am interested.
Who's got it? Okay, the drink of
the day. I've got it.
It's a gin fizz you've had?
Damn, I don't think so.
We've had slow gin fizz on this show,
right? And a Collins. How different
from a Collins is what I wonder.
Well, this is its eggy cousin, Jeff. That's the thing.
Ooh.
Yeah, Tom Collins was
our very first episode.
And
here's the interesting thing about that
is Tom Collins first
popped up in Jerry Thomas' book. Jerry Thomas from the 1800s about that is Tom Collins first popped up in the Jerry Thomas's book.
Jerry Thomas from the 1800s, like we were kind of the first big cocktail book guy long before Harry Craddock or Harry Maclone.
There was Jerry Thomas in New York.
And in our Tom Collins episode, we talked about how the Tom Collins first popped up there.
popped up there well in an updated version a couple years later i think in that very the very same dude jerry thomas putting out his book included the gin fizz so it's really a very
similar drink coming from very similar circumstances but what we can learn from it is the word fizz
is basically a sour with soda um so that's a spirit a citrus a sugar and soda and much like a sour
it can be frothed up with egg white so that's why this is eggy but like if you imagine
yeah a gin sour and then you know that's a gin fizz um nice and there's lots of different yeah
we did the slow gin fizz which is a take on this and then uh the most popular fizz
that we will get to someday on the spot is the ramos gin fizz which is like kind of a crazy one
with cream in it and you're supposed to shake it for 14 minutes or something like that but um this
is the nice good old-fashioned og gin fizz and it was formerly on the IBA list, and for some reason, they updated every year, and this one got the boot, and some other fizzes are on there.
So our recipe we're using is from Liquor.com.
Nice, straightforward recipe, and it is two ounces of gin, one ounce lemon juice, Joie de Lemon, freshly squeezed, three-quarter ounce simple syrup. One egg white,
which is about half an ounce.
Club soda to top, about one ounce.
Oh, interesting.
And here's the steps. Add the gin,
lemon juice, and simple syrup, and
egg white to a shaker, and
vigorously dry shake.
Now, a dry shake is when you do it without
the ice.
Fifteen seconds to combine those ingredients and get the egg all whipped in.
I can't remember when we've done that last.
Yeah, we did do that for something.
It's usually for an egg drink.
Yeah.
Because you just don't want the cubes to get in the way of the mixing.
So then after 15 seconds of your dry shake, add three or four ice cubes,
shake vigorously until well chilled.
Three or four ice cubes shake vigorously until well chilled.
Double strain into a chilled Collins glass and top with club soda.
So I don't think you're putting cubes in your Collins glass. I think this is getting strained and it's just a frothy thing in a Collins glass.
And then you top with an ounce of soda.
Collins glass.
Okay.
That's like a long glass.
Like a highball.
Yeah. I don't think I have those. Collins glass. Okay. That's like a long, like a high ball. Yeah.
I don't think I have
those,
but it's exciting.
Well,
Jeff can probably use
his pomegranate juice
glass.
My palm,
my palm,
wonderful palm tea
glasses.
Yeah,
that's,
I still use it.
I got two of them.
They serve me well.
All right,
folks,
we're going to go
make these.
This looks good.
I'm excited.
Yeah,
we're going to go
make these drinks.
And then when you guys listen to the ads of course
Unless you're plunking down $10 on the Patreon
And we'll be back after this
What kind of gin are you guys using?
Seagram's
Nice And we're back.
Gin fizzes.
Oh, I bit my cheek there.
Gin fizzes in hand.
Gin fizzes.
Gin fizzes.
Gin fizzes.
I ended up putting mine in a coupe.
Not a great yield off this thing, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess we need smaller glasses.
Jeff, you were shaking and futzing for so long that my drink separated,
but it's supposed to be all frothed up altogether.
Mine's separated too.
Shit.
Fuck.
Yeah.
All right.
Sips?
Yeah.
I'm frothing. Oh, boy, that's good. It's I'm frothing.
Oh, boy, that's good.
It's a bubbly sour.
Oh, wow.
Mmm.
Mmm.
That's pretty good.
An eggy Tom Collins.
He likes it.
Mikey likes it.
Ooh.
Wow.
Yeah, I was afraid to add too much because it said to top and this thing was only
half full with cocktail coming out of the shaker yeah and then it said like to top to top it with
one ounce like well like one ounce so yeah i just did like a big ounce um i think this would be
better in a rocks glass it feels like you could leave leave the cubes i think leave the cubes in
there why did we take the cubes out?
They're so futsy with the ice.
Because it's a nice sound.
To get the foam and
the ice, you get that clonk.
They sort of clonk around. They don't
clink like a normal ice cubes.
They clonk because of the foam.
Oh, yeah. Clonk, yeah.
When I was doing my
dry shake, my cocktail shaker burst open.
Like it created the egg and the seltzer created so much pressure that it popped off and spilled.
In your hands?
All in my hands and it dripped all the way down to my testicles, my penis.
I got some on my anus.
No, I mean it blew up.
It trickled down and around yeah and then it went
down under and then started going back up okay oh this is starting to remind me of um nasty world
the that movie that never got made nasty world where gravity works in a u-shape if you drop
poker chips they go up your butt poker chips only they if you drop something
it goes up your up your rectum that's too bad over there in nasty world yeah um yeah it's happened
to me before where i've shaken a drink poured it out and then just put the cap back on yes and then
the it'll just like ping it'll shoot the top off i'm like yeah because it's still like fizzing
and carbonating in the earth or something in's something to do with like the cool and the, I don't know.
If you put the cap back on the shaker, I'll go sit down and like five minutes into a movie, I hear bing, bong, bing, bong.
Yeah.
Ah, they're shooting at us.
Mmm.
I'll tell you what, my egg white, my eggs, I must have got the eggs with extra white.
Really?
Tiny little yolks. This recipe was
saying, was saying, egg white?
Yeah, that's half an ounce of
half an ounce of egg white per egg.
Ounce and a half
over here. Whoa! That's a big
yolk. I had to discard
some white. No.
Little, and the yolks were
like little jelly beans.
You look over, carton of the chicken that lay the eggs and you're like, sorry.
Sorry.
What happened to you?
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm getting weird.
Oops, all whites.
I've only ever made small jelly bean size yolks how big's the shell basketball
how often are chickens laying eggs because of it every day on the daily that's kind of a i mean
that's more if an egg is a menstrual period then that's a pretty fast cycle i guess but isn't it
funny that like eggs in a i I mean, chickens in a coop,
I'm picturing like eggs falling out and then farmers running around grabbing all the eggs.
But you feed a chicken all day, you house a chicken all day,
he makes you one fucking egg.
Wow.
I'm seeing here under ideal conditions,
chickens will lay an egg once every 24 to 26 hours.
So you really only get one egg.
I thought it was going to be what you were saying.
It's like a crop of eggs.
So they should be more expensive.
Yeah, like what they do in the cartoons.
I was like...
Everyone's complaining about egg prices,
but I'm thinking when I buy a dozen eggs,
that was a team of 12 chickens
working around the clock for a whole day.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't that nuts?
Working their feathers to the bone.
I paid $3.99 for that?
If they don't, if they don't, you know, get rid of the, if they don't give any eggs, you know what happens to them.
Oh boy.
They end up in your buffalo chicken dip.
Oh no.
If I'm paying $3.99 for 12 chickens for a 24-hour shift, I don't think they're getting union wages.
Well, they're not union workers.
I shouldn't support them.
They're feather-brained.
These chickens need to unionize.
It's up to the workers.
But yeah, that is nuts to think.
You've seen the chickens,
those shots of those big coop houses with all chickens
and it's like terrible living conditions.
And yeah, it's just to get those eggs, huh?
Man, I eat a lot of eggs too.
Yeah.
Weird.
I'm like at least two a day on eggs.
Weird food, the egg.
Weird food, the egg.
Yeah.
I guess.
As he sips his gin fizz with a wry smile on his face as he as he licks the froth
from his lips it is funny that eggs are like they're a very common thing jeff eats two a day
um and they're cheap but then like they are like oh you know there's like food porn where it's like
oh when you when you you have the ramen of the egg and when you cut into that jelly yolk and it spreads
and, and, and I agree that that is great.
And egg is fantastic and ramen and thinking some of the broth,
but it is like you put an egg on a burger and people are like, Oh,
there's an egg on the burger.
You put an egg on top of some like loaded fries and be like,
there's an egg on the fry.
You put an egg on a birthday cake. Oh my God.
You ruined the cake.
You ruined it.
The first time I saw an egg on a burger, I was like, whoa, that's interesting.
And then the next 400 times I was like, can I hold the egg?
I don't need that.
I don't need it.
Yeah, it is kind of not much going on.
It turns it into a juicy Lucy.
Like, is this thing going to squirt at me?
Nasty. You know what I don't like? We're talking about like fetishizing food. going on it turns it into a juicy lucy like yeah like is this thing gonna squirt at me nasty uh you
know what i don't like we're talking about like fetishizing food there's this thing that food
influencers do where they like split the sandwich open toward the camera and they show the inside of
it and it's always like oh and i it's just like gross and they're like black in the black uh
kitchen gloves oh yeah i guess that like i see those
all the time like those are kind of cool and you take a big knife and chop it open and open it up
like i don't know like my my beloved uh cafe los filas burrito somebody blew up that spot
some dumbass oh but there's a line there every day dude it's crazy oh really oh man this fucking
guy ruined it man i i since that article came out, like in the weekend, it's crazy.
But today I was walking past and there was a line at the door and I even heard somebody say,
geez, there's a lot more people there than usual.
It's amazing.
You could just turn a good restaurant, but not a hotspot could just turn into a hotspot.
And on Hillhurst, there already is Maru coffee and all time there
are long lines now it's all lines when you when I was walking to my haircut and you snapped a
picture of me from across the street yeah and texted it to you where were you you were at Alcove
uh were you just on foot you just walked I was just on I was just on foot coming home from
Albertson so I was on the other side of the street but I saw a duddy I zoomed in snapped a pic
and texted it to him
and Jeff you were on your way to a haircut
yeah I was on my way to a haircut
I sent you an audio message and I said
walking somewhere Jefferson
yeah
you think you can get that past me
cliff clop cliff clop eh Jeff
little right left action
over there huh good way to get around the
sidewalk spotted what is that coin is like what what's that emotion that's happening there oh
you're walking you thought that you could walk without me knowing maybe your friends spotted you
well see tim and i we sort of keep the streets safe we're sort of out there we got
the street beat we know what's going on you're not going to sneak anything by us nobody's going
to get a haircut without tim knowing i'm gonna i'm gonna know and then i saw you later that night
your hair was short and i was like i know how this happened i put a and b together baby uh
no but i walked by maru and um i i know hot maru is like a hot spot where people will like
line up and sit on the stoop of like the neighboring building to even get a flat white or
whatever they do this was the biggest line i'd have i've ever seen for maru it was like it was
like 50 people is it normally like that yeah it's normally's normally like that. I think it was a weekend or something. Like, why was it so, so, so bad?
I think that the thing with Maru specifically is that they wouldn't call that bad.
I think the line is a scene, man.
You put on your street wear.
You hit the line.
You're talking, hey, you in line?
Yeah, I'm in line, man.
Yeah, I'm in line, but I got my street wear.
I saw a sketch on Instagram.
Like, someone said, like, you know, like like that person who's in line at Maru.
The line is that famous.
Damn.
I had a funny thing happen recently where.
Wait, before you do this, I just got to call out Maru.
Because that's been a couple places.
That used to be a gelato place.
That used to be another coffee place.
And you used to go wait inside.
The line to the register wait inside the line the line to
the register was inside the building and now like they've really turned this thing yeah because of
covid now it's like a club now it's like the line is part of the draw like look how many people want
this coffee yeah the line is the thing open the club bottle full of Bob. A couple of days ago or a couple of months ago, a friend of mine was telling me about this steak spot that he had found.
He said, oh, this place is great.
I took my wife there.
Very nice.
I forget the name of the place, but it was in Park Slope.
And it was he's like very simple menu, easy menu.
I got a steak there.
No one was there.
It's such a good it was such a good steak for the price.
You got to go,
but I'm actually trying not to tell people about it.
So it doesn't blow up because this place is that good.
So great.
So our buddy Ben Axelrad comes to town.
I said,
I heard about the steak place.
We go.
It was probably the worst dining experience I've ever had.
Wow.
The steak was awful. They brought me red wine that was just like
tasted like it was out of like a box or something and like no one was in there except for like one
other table and our waiter didn't get to us for so long it was just like one thing after the other
was like worse than the next i the bad service thing is funny when you're when you're with a
friend and you're sort of like trying to have fun and then as it goes on you're
like this is not a good time yeah yeah it's like if this would just come we could all just move on
i'm impressed hearing mike hanford say that a wine wasn't good listen to this guy he's a
somalia over here yeah really where were you at frank family vineyards mike who could have used
you you're like what is this good or bad we Mike. The wine stuff for me is always like I can tell if someone gives me a good glass of wine
or type of wine said, this is good wine.
I taste it.
Oh, that is good.
And if someone tells me it's like, now try this bad one.
I can be like, oh, yes, that's horrible.
Like I can tell like the major swings of each.
How was your steak bad?
In what way?
It was really small. It was like a small, flat, like skirt steak swings of each how was your steak bad in what way it was really small it was
like a small flat like skirt steak kind of thing that's good if you're on the go and it was just
like so chewy and i didn't even order it you know medium well as i've been doing lately i was like
medium rare and it was just like way overdone and the sides were like you don't you've got a side
and you just kind of you fucking you just fucking spice
it to death yeah yeah that's what this was damn oh mike i'm so sorry to hear that you had a bad
steak experience well it's just funny to be like i'm not even going to tell people about this
because it's so good you're like good don't tell anybody about it you you went recently you went
with ben uh like a couple months ago yeah oh okay okay and and it was just just you and ben or you Good. You're like, good. Don't tell anybody about it. You went recently? You went with Ben?
Like a couple months ago, yeah.
Oh, okay, okay.
And it was just you and Ben or you went with somebody else?
Just me and Ben.
Ah, cool, cool.
Yeah.
I think this drink would be good with that lavender haze gin we got.
The Empress.
It'd be a good look.
The purple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Empress.
The purple.
The purple.
Light perp.
You know what? This also, because we're doing gin lemon this has been in recent years in recent episodes in recent weeks on this show i've really come around on
gin and lemon i was never a gin guy when we started this pretty nice little combo every
version of the gin lemons and i agree if it were me making this again
for round two i might even put a little fucking what's that purple shit we all love uh chartreuse
no come on mike shambord shambord shambord imagine a little shambord in there
counter that sour sour lemon with a little sweet berry i like it i agree with you on the gin lemon
thing it's like the gin like a gin and tonic is great and tom collins is great it's weird they're
not even more popular and i feel like bartenders love gin because i feel like gin was the big one
in like the prohibition era so i feel like anytime you tell uh if you're at a cocktail bar
and you tell a bartender like oh make me something uh just make me something good or whatever like
let them choose they're always giving you gin make me something good they don't want to do a
whiskey uh cocktail because whiskey is just like you buy good whiskey and you drink
good whiskey but gin is is the kind of the basis of a lot of the cocktails you're saying on its
own whiskey is just a drink and then but gin needs a little help i mean i've never in my
i love gin i've never once had a gin on the rocks or a gin neat nor will i nobody does well that
that's why it was so funny to me when, oh God, who was it?
Lil Thrilla and Dr. Benedicto.
Oh yeah, they won.
We came across one of their songs and there was a break in the middle that said,
everybody take a shot of gin.
Yeah, it's just those, that's, yeah.
And like, you don't think of gin as a shooter.
You think of whiskey as a shooter.
Those guys are off on a lot of stuff though.
You know, a lot of things they do are just a little off.
They're weird.
You don't shoot gin, but it is the basis for a lot of, you know, real cocktails.
Storied cocktails.
Everybody take a shot of gin.
That the bartender appreciates.
And for the record, I hope we don't ever hear from those guys again.
I mean, we haven't in maybe two years on the last two years,
but,
but there's,
I certainly hope they don't pop up.
I wonder if they've run out of ideas or if they just don't have time to work
on stuff.
I don't know.
I hope they don't have time.
A lot of time when people,
you don't see people popping up.
It's because they're,
they're actually working on a thing and they're busy.
Right.
A lot of my favorite,
uh,
Instagram.
Yes. Cause when, uh, think of my favorite, uh, Instagram comedians. Yes.
Cause when,
uh,
think of your favorite comedians on Instagram,
you're like,
Oh,
every day I watch this funny video and then suddenly they start getting jobs
and no more free content.
They're staffed up.
Yeah.
That's what happened with me and Lily Singh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
she's back on YouTube.
She's back.
I guess it was back in Z-Way.
They're all back on YouTube folks.
YouTube.
It's where it's at.
YouTube is where the tube is for you.
I liked Chet Hanks on Z-Way.
I like Chet Hanks.
Yeah,
sure.
Chet Hanks is good.
You love Chet Hanks.
He's probably my favorite Hanks.
No.
Yes.
Over Tom.
Oh, I forgot about Tom.
Oh.
Yeah, Tom.
Oh, I forgot about him.
And Colin.
I forgot about Tom.
I always thought it was just Colin and Chet.
Oh, yeah.
Their dad was, they've got a nepo dad.
Nepo dad.
I think Tom Hanks was in one of my dreams last night.
Oh, was it a big dream?
Yeah.
Was it a toy dream?
Or was it a nightmare where you would just cast it away?
Just cast it away.
Stop.
Stop this.
Not one more reference to a film title
that was he was in okay okay okay we'll end it we'll end it and jeff and i'll just go to a bachelor
party we have scheduled that's it we're gonna go make round two and they've listened to the ads
okay sorry folks you poke the bear you you're going to get the fire.
Oh, I thought you poked the hive.
You bowl, you get the thorns.
Yeah, you poke the bowl, get the thorns.
You poke the hive and then you get the bees.
Yeah, poke the hive, get a bee.
One bee.
One poke, one bee, one bee. One bee. One poke, one bee.
One sting.
For the...
All right, see you folks.
We're going to make round two.
We're back with round two.
Sorry, it took forever.
These kind of do take a while, huh?
Yep.
Oh, Jeff, yours is shamborded up.
Here's the thing.
It kills me to say.
Out of shambord.
Oh, sad.
Out of...
What did you scramble with?
Out of creme de mer.
What about cassis?
I had some cassis.
Cassis.
My least favorite of the three, but it's good.
I put an ounce in there and I put it on the wet shake, not the dry shake.
I didn't want to get in the way of the frog.
It looks kind of like a Jamba juice you got going on there.
Yeah.
I also put a protein boost.
Jeff.
In a cocktail? I did a Jamba juice. No no yeah i should have been an immune boost i
mine is cbd boosted sips did you do anything different um so mine i did the same thing but
uh the same drink as round one but i was curious about the dry shake so i didn't do it i just put
the egg and everything in with the cubes and shook it and look it's not frothy it looks like a tom collins you got a little
up top but yeah you're right crazy yeah not like three inches of froth here we go it must be a
react there must have been a reaction in there jeff that caused more froth but what would that of bin. Mmm.
Tastes good. Tastes good.
It still has that sour, astringent,
smacky quality, huh?
Smacky. It's nice to smack.
Smacky.
Clunking cubes and a smacky taste. Oh yeah, here's the cubes.
Cubes. Yeah, that's good.
That's like a white Russian sound.
Fine has the same taste as round one, but none of that frothy mouthfeel.
It's just more like a Tom Collins.
This is a good drink.
Good-ass drink.
Is that your final thought, Mike?
Yeah, it's an Oregon for me.
Me too.
Me too.
Me too.
Yeah.
too me too yeah and kind of it's sort of like we're not jumping uh up and down saying oh instant classic uh uh you know what's the word uh stone cold classic this is just like it's great
yes great can't a good drink just be good it should be popular and keep in mind that these
this egg white our recipe called for it but you don't always have
to make a gin fizz with egg white so how is that not the uh crazy popular drink just like a gin
sour with uh club soda like it's like a big tom collins people should be drinking these folks you
don't have to choose foam or bubbles you can have both you can have both Think about that
What about a
What
You just had a great moment
Okay that'll be our out
No no no do your thing I'm just saying
You had it
I don't have anything that's the thing
It was like oh it's just hanging there
That's our show
Yeah
Fuck yeah.
Fuck.
They fucking ended it on that shit.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time.
And hey, if you can't get enough boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys.
Plunk down the five and get double the pleasure every week.
Plunk ka-ching.
Listen, listen.
It's that simple, folks.
Did you know on the Patriot, on the blowout, we take the governor off this thing.
We really open it up.
We open it up.
Wang, wang.
That's a good show.
That's a real good show.
That's a show you're going to laugh at.
You're going to share with your friends.
What are you laughing at over there, dude?
All I'm laughing at is sloppy boy's blowout. Yeah. Don't be to share with your friends. What are you laughing at over there, dude? All I'm laughing at is Sloppy Boy's blowout.
Yeah.
Don't be like one of these guys.
What are you laughing at, dude?
Oh, nothing.
Get your own.
Mind your own business.
Yeah, don't gatekeep the laughs.
Yeah.
Share the laughs.
Share the laughs.
Share the love.
Yeah.
Share the laughs and share the carafts of wine.
Yeah. Share the laughs and share the carafts of wine yeah share the laughs and share the
rafts
unlike Rose
in the end of Titanic
couldn't she have helped him
she killed him
she basically killed him
because I think she saw
this is the life I want but it's so easy
to let it go
right now i have every possible excuse who wouldn't believe me yeah manslaughter on the high seas
bye folks peace come to bottle rocket in pittsburgh penn Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, February 3rd to see Mike Hanford do an hour of stand-up comedy. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys