The Sloppy Boys - 177. Canchanchara

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

The guys mix up the "first Cuban cocktail," created by guerrilla fighters during the 10 Years War of Cuban independence.2oz/60ml CUBAN AGUARDIENTE .5oz/ 15ml LIME JUICE.5oz/15ml RAW HONEY1.7oz/50ml WATERMix honey with water and lime juice and spread the mixture on the bottom and sides of the glass.Add cracked ice, then the rum. End by energetically stirring from bottom to top. Garnish with lime wedge.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association I www.iba-world.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drink that you love. The drink. We do the same drink every week, so tune in. That's an interesting flub. Oh gosh, keep that in. I'm your host Keep that in I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford Hello And Tim Kalpakis Jeff Dutton, beet red today

Yeah, I don't know what it is You got a little something going on with your camera I think, you got a new camera? Yeah, we're working on cameras but I look like Heatmiser You look like maybe just, I don't know, a little nervous To be working with Tim and Mike. Episode one 77 nervous to be. Hey guys,

hope you enjoy my stuff today. You look, you look, you do look like you just came back from the beach. Uh, I came out from the rain. Does that help? No,

I guess you'd be the opposite color blue. Um, this is, uh, this is, this is a frazzled episode for the sloppy boys i i just got back home from joshua tree mike you said you're frazzled jeffy came in from the rain where we were our nerves are on edge i just i usually live my life in a sort of constant state of frazility what's going on i gotta do something i think. I think, um, listen to this, uh, blunder.

I just made that was quite bad. Remember last week I was like, uh, talking about how I ate a big ramen before the show. Yeah. Well, I did that again, but guess what?

I spilled the worst possible thing to spill in a kitchen. Honey, I spilled a jar of fly by jing chili crisp so it's like goopy oil oh and precious and so delicious and precious i mean it's like 16 a jar and it got on me it got into my ramen it got on me it got splattered on the cabinets it got on me and it got into i got these little like mats in the kitchen. It got soaked into the little carpets. This was the hardest cleanup ever.

I was just like wiping oil on the tiles. And you're going to be picking out little chili crisp nuggets, little chili flakes. For years. That happened to me once. I dropped a bottle of olive oil and it's like, what? This is going to take forever to clean up. And it was just kind of every day you keep going over the same thing over and over it's a slippery little spot i kind of it kind of buffs the floor i was like wiping it down and like buffed it was like polished

the floor a little bit you do the whole apartment uh here's something here's a little kitchen uh innovation i came upon yesterday i'm drinking a scotch, right? It's the end of the night. Scotch, scotch, scotch. I got a scotch on the rocks. I've come to like it, the peaty scotch. I've gotten used to it. Didn't take long.

Nasty. But it was a little too peaty. I wasn't in that mood. So I said, you know what? I had some peaty. I had some maple syrup out. Because I just had pancakes for dinner. I ate pancakes for dinner.

Dork. Well, it's my right to do it. So I had the pancake stuff out. So it was kind of room temperature, so it was a little runnier. I dunked a little bit of that into the scotch. That is what I've been looking for with my, you know, those maple old fashions you can get yeah sometimes what you're looking for has been in front of you this whole time in front of

me the whole time thank you jeff mike was it a little bit like the rusty nail which had drambuie he doesn't remember tim though that's a useless question for a guy like me years ago i'm sure i didn't drink the rusted nail. I think I drank something different. Rusty nail. Rusted root is the band though. I had a rusty nail at Bigfoot recently. Quite delicious. Nice.

I got to try that again. Another little liquor innovation I had over the weekend. Not an innovation, just kind of struck me. You know, you go to your liquor bottle sometimes and they're covered in dust. The Galliano doesn't get that much use yeah unless it's summertime and you're going to a park and you're bringing a whole bottle of yellowbird well i was walking around my house the other day i was i had one of those spray uh air duster things getting uh my tvs and stuff and i go by the tv and where my liquor cabinet is i said oh wait oh, wait a minute. Start blowing off the dust. Looks like a brand new

looks like a brand new. Yes, yes. The can duster. Did I not make that clear? It looks like brand new bar over here. Hey, Mike, do yourself a favor. Give yourself a little two to that. Yeah, I'm a little dusty myself. One for daddy. Blowing dust off your face.

Whew. But do that One for daddy. Blowing dust off your face. But do that, folks. Do that. That's a tough spot to clean. Sometimes you can just get that like wand in there or something. Yeah, mine's gross. Get it out of there. Get the bottles. Yeah, you get that magic wand.

You try to clean your bottles with that. It doesn't work. Not that type of wand. You know what I'm talking about. Old duster wand. No. Not that type of wine. You know what I'm talking about. Old duster wine. No. Not a dildo. Electronic dildo. Here's my innovation. I didn't have any Coke this weekend. Coca-Cola in the fridge.

How are you going to make a Batonga? How am I going to make a Fernandito? That was my real question for myself. I'm watching movies and I said, God, I would love to have, I got a brand new bottle of Fernet. I got no Coke. And then I realized deep in the back of my fridge, a lone Dr. Pepper.

Oh, Jeff, that's good. What's a lone Dr. Pepper doing? That's nice. I know. That's nice. I couldn't believe it. I was in there with a flashlight and I parted the ferns and I saw Dr. Pepper hanging in the back.

And then, so I put them together and I made a little Dr. Fernetter. How about that? That's good. And the taste was good. Did the Fernette kind of just dominate it or could you taste a little bit of the doctor? Well, you know the Fernette is dominant. But just like the Coke, the Dr. Pepper gives you that little bit of sweet. That's nice.

Oh, that's nice. I poured myself a big Mr. Pibb from a Coke freestyle machine when I went to see Madam Web the other day. You saw Madam Web? I did too. I'll tell you about that. It had no taste. I had to dump the whole thing back. I went to a different machine.

I tried it. It's still no taste. I dumped out three Mr. Pibbs and then I had a lemonade. it wasn't pib extra it was just normal pib i tried them all this these these freestyle machines had no fucking taste those freestyle machines are insane they're supposed to have every day they don't have any taste that are at all good it's too much shit it's too much for the for the populace to have give enough rope to hang themselves yeah i went to uh i saw madam webb uh i think on opening weekend i went with some friends you know our buddy uh nick nanny he was who's been on questions for lennon he was with us

personally i call him nick nanny but nick nanny i should too that's how he pronounced it he says maybe get on board with that i think you gotta's got to get on board. I learned it as Nanny, and then, you know, I thought it was Namy for a while. Like, name. Anyway. I had a cat named Namy. Continue. I knew about that. So, we went to the Madam Web in the 40X, you know, those seats that go up and down in the

Spitwark. Oh, that's so funny. And we get to Nick's seat. It had a full water puddle in it. And we were like, well, yeah, you're you're not sitting there so we found some other seats because no one was there and yeah that was he must have seen water world they put a quart of water in the seat so we found a couple other seats and then the trailers start uh and to show off how the how the seats work and ours isn't moving at all i'm like oh they didn't turn them on because nobody bought these seats so we had to find him another seat kind of away from us but

it was very fun uh that movie was you know it needed a rewrite but i think uh i still had a good time wow yeah were there any easter eggs oh yes i'm sure there were but i don't really know no but at the end did people gasp when Wolverine came out? Did they do anything? No, he didn't come out. They didn't have a scene at the end. I was like, what the f... I thought this was like every Marvel. There wasn't a post-credits, but

there was a... I mean, the movie ends with pretty much like a commercial for the next movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not making another one of those. I don't know. You think with Sidney Sweeney on board, they're not going to make another movie? They'll make the Sidney Sweeney show. Yeah, yeah. They're not making another one of those. I don't know. You think with Sidney Sweeney on board, they're not going to make another movie? They'll make the Sidney Sweeney show. Yeah, I bet you they will do that. I saw Sidney Sweeney and Billie Eilish next to each other.

I thought they were the same person. They look like twins. Yeah. Yeah, they both have that sleepy-eyed, doe-eyed, 70s lady eye. We got to start having that sleepy-eyed look. Yeah. I know. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

So blow off your liquor bottles, folks. You know what's a fun accessory? You're talking about the can of air to dust stuff. How about the electric tennis racket for hitting bugs, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got one of those. That should be another zap challenge. We got too much.

You got to deal with your voodoo zaps first. Oh, right. I'm up to like eight bags. Hey, we got to do that drink when I'm in LA. I know, yeah. Because that's going to be. I meant to do it for Mardi Gras, and it came and went. Yeah.

Yeah, but we did the Ramos fizz. Yes. We sure did. We sure did. We sure. As we close out the IBA, it's nice to knock these off, right? Yeah. Yep.

Well, did we get in some booze news? Jeff, what are you Yeah, I was going to say, what are you taking your time for over there? You like to get right into booze news. No, you like to get right in. You're the rush guy. Me? No, I am the Well, here's the thing. I'm the rush guy. I love shit chat. I will do that for the full hour if we need to.

Because you don't like talking cocktails. I don't like cocktails. You like pancakes for dinner. No, I'm saying, yeah, I'll do everything a little backwards. I'm saying, Jeff, I don't like this idea of like, okay, we did all this crap and now it's drink time.

Now we got nothing to say. What are we going to say for the next? I say as long as we have things to say, keep it rolling. I'm getting notes of lime. I'm getting notes of lime I'm getting notes of honey Okay we're ready for booze news Hit it When the beer feels like slip Will the booze be the news

Will the drink of the day Have fondue or chartreuse As I ring dong Daringo Like hosai ch chai cause the main Podcast host is A hell of a guy Bip to

Spip was sent to us by Paige Reagan aka Pagan Rage and if you Have a booze news theme email it to the Sloppy Boys podcast at gmail.com That was a nice little jam that reminded the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com. That was a nice little jam that reminded me of, uh, I don't exactly know if they sound like this,

but if we're like the band, um, Jamestown Massacre. Oh yeah. They're in that documentary dig with the Dandy Warhols. They were the other band. Jamestown Massacre. Brian Jonestown.

Brian Jonestown. But, uh, this song, this was this was a built to spill uh that's a built to spell but it's kind of that trippy dreamy rock it's some rock is that shoegaze you know people talk about shoegaze what's that all about that's my bloody valentine that's my bloody valentine and i can't even think of even one other reference that's what you say if people ask you say my bloody valentine and it's because they were staring at their pedals mike their pedals that's why it's called shoegaze oh i thought it was shoegaze because the audience is just like whatever and looking at their feet pretty much but it's the guy on stage damn damn um you guys want to hear some booze news i would love to this This is what we like to call quick bips.

Bipping around, kind of checking in the follow-ups to some stories that we've been tracking here. The first one, we asked for it, we got it. The first of the new Don the Beach Comber restaurants has opened. the new Don the Beach Comber restaurants has opened. I just sent you guys a link so you can see the article and I love the Berg, which I think is St. Petersburg or Florida news. Are you,

are you paying for this? Remember you got Tampa news once. Yeah, I probably paid $120 for this. Yeah. Well, I was accidentally subscribing to the Tampa, like Tampa business insider for a year on my own credit card um in in uh madera beach madera beach florida um they we got more a restaurant group had acquired the rights to don the beachcomber and don the beachcomber's

recipes and stuff like that a year ago. We were waiting for these to open. Now, here they come. I'm looking at some pictures here. It looks a little chainy dinky. It doesn't look, it doesn't smack of authenticity. It looks like a set. It looks like a Disney XD show set or something.

It's very bright. You know what's the difference here with like this and something like uh tiki tea and in like the first place and so we're like there's too much space on the walls right you know what i mean like i hate going to tiki bars and it's like we got a few of those hanging things but not many right it's got to be cluttery and you can't see the wall at all yeah Yeah. You need jokey things on the wall. You need a big skeleton who's wearing a pirate hat maybe. Right. Yeah. Funny, campy stuff.

And this stuff has just, has a little bit of that party city look to it as opposed to Yeah. Yeah. Like stuff that was brought back from the aisles.

Yeah. Yes. I agree. There's a wood, like a sign carved that says Don the Beachcomber, but you can tell that wasn't whittled into the wood.

That's like a piece of plastic. It's like 3d printed plastic. Also, it's just so bright. Like you want, you want a dank, funky place like Tiki tea. They could smoke cigarettes inside until like 12 months ago. It's that way for decades. Like it's got to have a little bit of a dank. This does not look dank, but this looks almost like the more recent Margaritavilles.

But the food looks good, right? Look at these wings and tenders. That kind of looks... And ribs. A lot of chicken satay and crab rangoon. Finger food. That'll be fun. But I don't know.

I think a place you got to go in there and soak it up. So Slopheads in Florida, make your way to the Don the Beachcomber restaurants and tell us. Send us a tape. We want to hear what it's like. Yeah, send us a tape. Does it say they're going to open any more of these? Yeah, there's like two more coming immediately and possibly more

beyond that. In Florida? Yep. In the southeast, starting with Florida, but I think it's allowed to trickle its way up into Georgia. I don't know if I knew this. Don Beach beach maybe this rings familiar but uh his name is ernest gant yeah yeah we know we know that okay that's uh a lame don beach is much cooler than ernest gant yeah you'd change it too and also just the don the beach comer changed his

legal name to don beach like yeah and why N's? He's an interesting man. Weird. Yeah. He's constantly iterating. I like that. Well, you know, in the morning when he gets out of the shower,

he's a beachcomber. Yeah. Hmm? Yeah, you get out of the shower after you dry your hair, maybe. You got to get that hair in order. Comber. Okay.

He's Don Beach. See, I don't use a comb, so that didn't hit me. Yeah, don't use a comb, so that didn't hit me. Yeah, don't use a comb. You use a brush. I don't even do that. You're telling me. That's just a natural. Whatever happens, happens up there. Wow. Michael,

I just used my fingers as well. Are you a comb man? No, I comb. I got a comb. Because my hair is so fine and like it looks stupid all the time. Oh, it's fine. It's so fine. It's so fine. Doodle-ang, doodle- the time all right it's so fine it's so fine doodling doodling no it's just like flops down i gotta i gotta comb it into some shape now does it get confusing that you one of your best friends from uh school as a kid was tom combs and now you comb your hair yeah well i did it back then too and did before i even knew him so

oh okay it was easier i would get more confused about who he was who are you the first time you saw him all right who are you okay um and then as long as hey as long as we're following up on don the beachcomber things uh the don the beachcomber documentary the dawn of tiki does not have a release date yet but their their instagram is going strong now if you go take a look at the dawn of tiki you're gonna see clips there's like animation there's like stop motion and there's drawings in disney style and their their clips are coming in it looks like a very fun film. Hey, maybe a movie theater in the country, all the movie theaters in the country could show

a double play of us and our documentary in the Down the Beachcomber. Yes! Good, Michael. Very good. Might be good to cross integrate. That would be, that's a good idea for every theater in the country to do that. Even just play ours. I don't care about that movie. Every theater plays

our movie. That'd be great. Well, is that it for Booze News? Well, then the last thing that I just wanted to mention is, have you guys ever seen the show Lost LA? No. It's a local LA KCET show hosted by this nerdy guy, Nathan Masters. Anyway, it just came back. I haven't watched it yet, but there's an episode called

Tiki Bars and Their Hollywood Origins. So yet another Don the Beachcomber thing just dropped. 2024 is the year of Ernest Gant. Nice. You can't get away from Ernest Gant in this year. People want to. I just can't, can't, can't get away from that Gant, Gant, Gant. Get away from that Gant, Gant.

It rolls off the tongue. It's so memorable. Is that finally it for Booze News? Wrap it up! That's it for Booze News. I don't even remember Booze News. I feel like I got my... Dream.

My skull scraped. Is that what the men in black baton is called? Skull scraper? That's got a name. Vaporizer? Ionizer? Yeah. Skull scraper is gauche. That's ghastly.

Yeah, that's ghastly. Don't call it that. Don't call it that. Tommy Lee and Will Smith. I know that Willith called it a memory thing here mind eraser something neural neuralizer we use one of those at the end of a sloppy boy sketch or a birthday boy sketch folks tune in at the end of the episode to find out which sketch it was we're not gonna play it for you nope we'll tell you which one also for you to be on the lookout listen out for you know any types of uh things that might uh bring us to a

sloppy boy song to play at the end oh yeah plug a song put the tunes if you're listening for it love that oh and it's somebody's it's somebody's pick this time, isn't it? It was because I did it last time. Sure, but ideally it doesn't have to be anyone's pick. That's true. There's just a great song for us to all love and play at the end. That's true, but it should come down to somebody. Somebody should feel a pressure by the end. Somebody's in the hot seat.

I'm going to put some of that. Sweating bullets. That's too stressful. Not this episode. Because you might choose wrong. You might choose the wrong song and it's a bad episode. You want me stuck with a bad one? Oh, something else I want to say about the...

Are you guys liking the video? I'm enjoying the video part of this. Doing a video pod? Yeah, it's all right. I think people are really responding. I think people are really respectful. They could respond a little more, maybe, and tell their friends

and have their friends also watch. One thing I do want to figure figure out though my my my camera is backwards jeff yours is forward yours is forward why is my camera backwards you can flip it i've noticed that when i watched the youtube link it's like you'll be one way when you're when we're in thirds like this and then if it cuts to justford, it'll flip them around correctly in that moment. It's rather dynamic. Well, I,

um, I'm just putting it down on my, uh, weekly schedule here to have a long conversation with our editor. Meeland. Yeah. Chew them up. I,

you're listening to this right now. Meeland, uh, expect a call. I actually don't think he listens to these. I think he just chops them and passes them along. I'm kidding. He's doing a great job. Well, with booze news behind us,

we turn our attention to the drink of the day. Oh, Mike, you flipped. Michael. I went off the grid. Now I'm disoriented. I know I am too. No, he's good. There you go. There we go.

Yeah, I've been working on plants around here. Now I'm disoriented. I know I am too. No, he's good. There you go. There we go. Yeah. But working on our plants around here. Okay. The drink of the day. We didn't even discuss who was going to introduce this. I assume it's me, right? No. If you would, Tim, that would be nice.

I had a presentation. Oh, I'm just going to drag that to trash. Go ahead, Tim. I had a whole thing, but. The conchonchara. Now I looked at it at i wanted to say canchanchara but it's it's cuban and when there's accent in the middle syllable i think this means you emphasize the middle syllable so conchonchara you've had no no no no no no no i what about the

canchanchara i feel like we've said the word Canchanchara for something else, maybe. Cachasa, it's similar. That's probably what I'm thinking of. Canchanchara, Cachasa, something. So this, have you guys heard or had? No. Neither. Me neither.

And it has become famous to us as something that we scroll past on the IBA cocktail list. As we have been making our way through all of the drinks in the international bartenders association cocktail list, we're, we're getting, is it down to just two? Is it this? And then the daiquiri?

Yeah. Yeah. So we're almost done. We're almost, this is huge. I was hoping this, this podcast would fizzle out before we got to the end of it. Well, it still might. because there's one left.

Yeah, that's true. It's funny. We're going to keep going after and we have exciting things in store. But this was one of these ones where we were kicking the can, much like the Vento. If the name is challenging and then you click and the ingredients are challenging, we were like, let's save that for another week. And then finally, we said, let's end on the,

it'll be thrilling to end with the daiquiri. So then let's do this obscure one right before. You guys don't think it'll be thrilling? It's funny because it's like, the daiquiri is one you know, but it's like, it's not like, oh, the daiquiri. Also, like we said, we've backed into it. We've done all these different daiquiris and spinoffs of the daiquiri also we like we said we've backed into it we've done all these different daiquiris and spin-offs of the daiquiri yeah to just go back to the main daiquiri is like okay

well this is gonna piss you off even more because this drink was in the section of the iba cocktail list that's called new era drinks there's unforgettable contemporary classics so we were like, what is this new ass drink? We've never heard of it. We just are trying to get to that grand finale of the daiquiri. Everyone's going to lose their shit over. I Google this fucker.

Turns out it's old as fuck. This is the oldest cocktail in Cuba and believe it or not, it's like a direct precursor to the daiquiri. Oh, this is great news. So this worked out great for us. So I was mad, but I guess we're happy.

Happy, Tim. Hey, I'm happy. This is what becomes the daiquiri, becomes all the other lime sugar rum-ish drinks we've talked about because it's really old this is we're talking 1800s it's back it dates back to the 10 years war between cuban guerrilla forces and spain it also uh it was like a healing drink around that time they're drinking it out of little clay pots called uh copas de barro um and then it's like the um come on what's it called cantarito the little clay cantaritos that's the word i was thinking of little clay pots yeah yes yes yes not can't

canchanchara but the canchanchara nobody knows what that word means uh there's theories uh and they all sounded wrong to me so it's just a word that somebody said it's not only you well people like oh maybe it's some like onomatopoeia for like uh like shaking ice or something like that oh that'd be cool um but yeah it spreads from cuba to trinidad gets really big in trinidad it's still big in trinidad but uh this is just a drink that is a nice simple drink and. And the IBA was wrong, wrong, wrong about it being new. It's an old sour. And here.

Their first strike. Are the ingredients. 60 milliliters, two ounces. Cuban Aguardiente. Aguardiente. Cuban Aguardiente. Never heard of it. No.

We've got a lot to say about that. Yeah. 15 milliliters, half an ounce of joisteline, fresh lime juice. 15 milliliters, half an ounce raw honey. Don't be cooking that honey. Michael? Not a syrup, Mike. 50 milliliters water.

Oh, I missed that when I was looking at it. That's kind of funny. Ooh, it's kind of like that grog we had on Doughboys. Yeah. And okay, here's the method. Mix honey with water and lime juice and spread the mixture on the bottom and sides of the glass. This is interesting. Spread.

Okay. Add cracked ice, then the rum. See, they're even using the word rum right now. And by energetically stirring from bottom to top. I'm going to say this again. Mix honey with water and lime juice and spread the mixture on the bottom and sides of the glass. Add cracked ice, then the rum,

and by energetically stirring the bottom to top. Conchandera as you stir. Garnish with a lime wedge. Okay. So did we all try to find Aguardiente? Yes. And none of us actually found it. No. I was looking for some sort of rum.

And then I did see that it was like sugar cane based. I had a spirited interaction with the top line spirits guy. He was typing away. I wish I recorded it because he was so boisterous about it. And he was looking through and he's like, we haven't had it. We've had it for 30 years and suddenly we don't have it. I don't know what the story is. Nobody can find it. He said, he looked online and said, it's similar to Reiki from France,

Uzo from Greece, Sambuca from Italy. And he said no no no that's not right so this guy clearly has had it before and knows what he's talking about and he said he came back to it's got to be that what's that sugar cane thing and i said cachaca and he lit up he lit up like a christmas tree he couldn't be happy um and so we we kind of determined what what would be great is 80 cachaca 20 of that star anise flavor that you get from the Sambuca. Okay. Okay. Here's what I have to say, Jeff.

I ain't doing that. I'm not doing that shit. Well, I happen to have that stuff. So that's what I'm going to do. Well, you do what you want to do. But here's what I have to say to the guy at Top Line Liquors. I think that he, according to my research, I think he's thinking of Colombian Aguardiente. Because I watched some YouTube videos about Aguardientes.

The word means like fire water. So it's kind of like just saying like alcohol or like schnapps or something. But it sounded to me, I watched some reviews of guys drinking uh the colombian version and they're like yep got that black licorice it's like tequila and black licorice uh uh and then people i saw some bartenders tasting the cuban stuff yes and uh they were saying that it tasted more like rum and that it had the but they but they mentioned an earthy grassiness so i think cachaça is uh on is on the right track split base here's what i'm i think i'm gonna split cachaça and white rum yeah bacardi yeah um and so what were the measurements on

the cachaça i think i must have it from the last time well it's you're supposed to do two ounces of aguardiente so you know maybe one ounce of cachaca and one ounce of rum but um or just do cachaca but um what what's the what makes me think cachaca is definitely going to be right is not only they did they mention a grassy earthiness but this is it's a it's like another cheap liquor that's made from a byproduct of sugar cane. So like, um, I'm going to get this wrong and real, real booze. People are going to be angry with me, but they'll get over it.

You know, rum, it's like there's sugar cane and you can make a few things from it. And there's like, like rum is like made from the molasses and cachaça is made from like the leftover cane juice or, or whatever. All of these are coming from sugar cane,

but a guardiente, much like cachaaca is like a like a less desirable part of the process of the sugar cane okay yeah it's like a laborer's drink or whatever right all right because cachaca was like using the no that's something else another drink yeah cachaca was something that like the like enslaved workers were making in the rum fields okay so um like for themselves so i think aguardiente is different but i think cachaca sounds correct to me nice and what we're looking at with the honey it makes sense this is a precursor to a a daiquiri because honey would just be like a thing you got and so maybe this will be kind of a little now i don't i don't have warmer i don't have raw honey but what is raw honey just straight

out the comb i have straight out the comb wait okay so you got tom comes your friend you got combing hair now you got honeycomb me want honeycomb jeez um i have raw honey i'll report back i don't i haven't tasted it but um it, but because this was a healing drink, this was sometimes served hot. And I could imagine this being nice hot with the honey. It kind of sounds like a hot toddy kind of a wine. Yeah, it does. I feel like I'm going to have to go a little lighter on that water because I do want that pace to go around the rim of the glass. I think the water is going to make it not a oh you're going all the

way up you're coating it from the base all the way to the rim that's what it said right the bottom and then down up on the walls a little bit yeah don't forget to stir energetically energetically enough to make that sound cantantura cantantura all right great you guys want to get to it yeah

all right folks open up your ears open up your wallets open up your hearts here come the ads we'll be right back after this and we're back conchchantra's in hand. Can-chan-chara! Is that what it is? No, no, it's conchantra. Okay, fine.

Okay, Michael, yours is very light compared to ours. What did you guys put in yours? We used raw honey. How about you? I used just honey. So I guess we learned that raw honey is Yellower Well what liquors did you have? I did white rum And a little bit of Cachasa Yeah me too

And did you guys have that same issue Where once that honey hits that cold Water, that cold lime juice It turns into a blob That's why you have to vigorously stir it Well I was trying to makeously stir it well i was trying to make the syrup and like it was just like okay there's a bunch of the liquid and then there's just like a gummy booger of honey i'm trying to work around i thought it was really going to

crust around the side of the room because you typically drinks we make work uh you're using honey syrup that we've pre-mixed but this one the fact that they were saying put honey in there i thought we were really going to be like spreading it on a glass. That didn't happen at all. At all. That's why I say if you add water to it, it's immediately just going to make it slipperier. And what was with spreading the mixture on the bottom and sides of the glass, but then we're going to end by energetically stirring anyway. This is flawed. And also, stirring bottom from top, from bottom to top, you can't stir the bottom without stirring the top as well.

There's no way to do it. It's true. No, I can't stir the bottom without stirring the top as well there's no way to do it it's true no i was only stirring the bottom should we take a sip before these yeah let's do bubbling hot sippies okay it's not all bad it's that it's that honey though huh no it's the cachaça for me i do really yeah i don't like it's the cachaza for me um i'm getting the grassiness from that i do like the honey the honey adds kind of a warmth that makes it less like it's not just like a tropical drink it's got something it's it's like caramelized you know wood. You picture a brown bear. Molasses-y. Yeah. Ooh.

Mmm. Okay. Ooh, you know what I'm going to do for my round two is make one of those Scotch Old Fashions I was just telling you about. Mike, okay, you've had one sip of the drink. We haven't even swallowed our sips, and you're talking about making a... I took two sips. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I have a feeling this is going to get much better once this ice goes down. I like the cracked ice, too. Yeah, I got cracked ice. You did cracked? I did normal cubes. Yeah, I cracked it.

You know, I did it, too. I put it all in a sandwich bag and just whacked it against the wall a few times. Yeah, you throw it on a tile floor or whack it against the wall. Perfect. Whack it off. Michael, I was just yelling at you. I hope this is the apology. And I want to say I'm dearly sorry.

Dearly. I'm very sorry, but it reminded me also that I got beef with you. Oh, baby. Oh, no. Here we go. I got to dig in. There's an issue that something occurred to me, and then it pissed me off all week. week um last week folks he did it again i haven't i haven't slept a wink

ratings spike incoming tim go for it tim goes off oh this gives me a good idea finish your thing we should have those youtube thumbnails where i'm like oh tim goes off i was just gonna say we should take a few seconds here to like angrily yell at each other and then use that clip for like the clip hey fuck you what the fuck fuck you oh i wasn't ready okay three two one i don't know what to say. Just finish your thing, Tim. Maybe something will come up. Where's my beef? Last week on our best podcast, like this show's okay. The Pagato Show.

It's okay. Our better podcast, if you go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys, you can pay $5 a month and listen to the sloppy boys blow out. It's a better show. That's a show. That's a good show. Yeah. I don't like this, but I actually really connect with that one. I would have listened to that

show. Yeah. Last week we did an episode called Handsomest Guy. Yes. And we each elected. We shouldn't reveal who won because that's kind of just for the people beyond the paywall. But is it part of the beef? Nah, but it's part of the beef.

I don't have to say who won, but it's part of the beef. You can also have to say who won, but it's part of the beef. You can also say who won. I don't think anyone won. Well, I imagine he's not mad at the guy who also didn't win. No, it actually doesn't have anything to do with winning. What it has to do with was just I had a little theory. I was quite excited about my little theory. And when I have a little theory i want it to

be confirmed okay okay um sure and he'll do whatever it takes to confirm that theory yes a man of science when i was i sat down to write a list of who i thought the handsomest guy could be and i mentioned i went to the top of that list, Tim. This isn't beef. This is jealousy. No, my beef is that I'm jealous. When I was brainstorming, I wrote down a list of guys and I told you guys, I noticed they were all white guys with dark brown hair. And I said, oh, it's interesting that like my, my idea of handsome is based on what I see in the mirror, but better. of handsome is based on what I see in the mirror,

but better. I see my own flaws and I think about what I vicariously wish the best version of, if you're dealt the hand that I've been dealt. Well, like your, your animal brain, your animal brain is going back to the earliest Tim, uh,

Calpacus tribes where everybody kind of looks the same, different variations of Tim. Me as a baby looking into the mirror. As a baby looking into the pond, seeing my reflection on top of a river. I wonder if you... Coming out of the ocean. You look back for one goodbye. Hey, man.

The earliest scalp agas makes it to land in Sprout's feet. It happens separately for each family it's not just mankind the humans it's like the first kelp agus emerges from the swamp he's got a mustache and a wide jaw that's so funny so all my guys uh were like better versions of me and then the guy that i elected as handsomest guy was marlon brando and you could look at me and you could see how I would want to look that Marlon Brando is the ideal best version of a guy who kind of looks like me. I spilled this theory to you guys and I was hoping. I just spilled some fucking ice on me. Mike. I did.

Mike, you're going to get him remanded. I know, I know, I know. I want to hear what the beef is. Give me a second beef. Now, then Jeff elected as his handsomest guy um uh michael fastbender and i said this supports my theory because he's he's a he's a he's dutton-esque yeah he's a delightful dutton i felt called out when you said that but it uh i mean i was calling myself out then you and then now hanford you chose john ham john ham is the handsomest guy

and i could see of us i would say you look the most like john ham so it didn't it didn't fuck up my theory majorly but i something was stuck in my crawl all week and i was like hanford hanford what is it what is this i'm thinking i'm like i'm thinking of this kind of flappy haired guy and i'm like who who should he have chosen and then i it occurred to me who i've i think that who you are a big fan of and it is luke wilson in bottle rocket and that's what you look like and that should be the platonic ideal of a handman that's not too far off timmy he did come into my uh my list a little bit but i just thought with uh you know he's not the most popular uh guy right now and i'm trying to think of like

who everyone would think is the right you wanted to win the competition and then john ham is is is synonymous with handsome but there's also a funny thing we tried to not we were trying to do it on like your face and not have too much context but there is if you would have paused luke wilson like after tenenbaums or something we'd be like that's an amazing actor i think luke wilson is a very good actor but like the career of the last few years probably we we probably haven't been thinking about him he's not top of mind or you even like movies like super ex girlfriend or whatever.

You may be living a hold against his handsomeness, but yeah, either way, my beef is that I think that you think, I think that you think the handsomest man in the world is Luke Wilson. Me too. I don't think that at all. He's not going to,

he's not going to cop to it on. I'll talk to you about this off pod, Tim, and I will say everything you want to hear. But in this public space, I'm the king. You know what's funny is the Wilson brothers back on Bottle Rocket, that was like their first movie based on this short they did. Yeah.

Luke Wilson, long hair. Owen Wilson, short hair. And then from that movie forward, they switched. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like Owen became the floppy guy, and then Luke was the short hair guy. Owen Wilson's my favorite of the Wilson brothers. Yeah, he's the best.

Let's just say, just so everyone... You don't like Future Man? A Future Man's a hunk. Let's just say that if Don McLean's American Pie, Day of the Music Died style, if our plane goes down, the Sloppy Boys, and we die, and somebody wants to make a movie of us,

let's just say it's Luke Wilson, it's Michael Fassbender, and it's Marlon Brando dug up from the dead. They'll try for Fassbender. They won't get him. They'll get Steve Zahn. Yeah, that's true. They'll get DJ Qualls for me.

And Tim Fred Flintstone, a little animated. A little animated Fred Flintstone. And if they can't do that, they'll get the guy who played him in the Flintstones 2. Wait, wait. It wasn't John Goodman.

John Goodman was just one? Oh, I thought it... No, you know what I'm thinking of? What a Viva Rock Vegas. I'm conflating a lot of things. Remember when they came out with Blues Brothers 2000 and John Goodman was the Belushi role? Or I don't know if he was playing that character,

but he was that guy. Right. I thought it should have been, what's his brother's name? Jim Belushi? Who is now, right? Not that I thought it should have or shouldn't have been, but I'm thinking that that happened to John Goodman in the Flintstones movies,

which I don't think was the case. Wait, but Jim Belushi was like not in Blues Brothers for a while, but is now, isn't that right? Yeah, I thought we saw him doing something. I can't imagine John Goodman did two Flintstones movies. Can that be? I think he did Flintstones on Viva Rock Vegas. Flintstones 2. It's my belief.

No, it's Mark Addy. Mark Addy became Fred Flintstone and Stephen Baldwin became Barney Rubble. Yeah, I was going to say Baldwin was in there somewhere. Yeah. Oh, Mark Addy should definitely play me. He's good.

Yeah, Rick Moranis was Barney before. Hey, Liz Taylor. I got to see this movie. Liz Taylor. Elizabeth Taylor. Jonathan Winters is in it. Rosie O'Donnell. Halle Berry.

This is an all-star cast. Flintstones 1, 1994. I saw this movie at a drive-in paired up with Jurassic Park. No shit. Ooh. They played this one first, I assume. I had to see Beethoven's second to see Jurassic Park in a drive-in. That's a bad pairing.

You should have been a dino movie pairing like me. I saw Ghostbusters 2 at a drive-in. Yeah, but that dog looks really big on a big screen. Yeah, that's true. Almost Tyrannosaurus-like. Almost Dinosauric. Dinosauric. This dog has dinosaur qualities.

This dog is downright Dinosauric. This dirty dog is downright dinosauric. This dirty dog is downright dinosauric. That's good. Hey, you can't say any more D words in this movie. We ran out of Ds. All right, Ds nuts. Here we go. All right.

At work, I was walking down a row of cubicles, and I looked at somebody in my office's cubicle and they had a very cool little trinket on the shelf it was a mosquito in amber that's a cool little thing to have on your shelf you know what i wanted i needed to replace the shift knob in my car and i said wouldn't it be cool if i had an amber mosquito as the shifter in my car yeah yeah damn what i gotta come to your office and steal that guy's trinket, Tim. You don't get that. Jeff, now, what's going on with your car?

It was kind of having some problems recently, but did you fix it or did it... Mike? You got a fix yet? We're back in business. With that car or a new car? Mazda 6. The Mazda 6. Let's go...

When I come out to LA, let's go car shopping. Let's go fucking do donuts in this thing. Let's go fucking Tesla shopping. You and a Tesla? We're not getting a good Tesla. I know, let's go car shopping. Let's go fucking do donuts in this thing. Let's go fucking Tesla shopping. You and a Tesla? We're not getting a good Tesla. I know, but we can drive them. On a podcaster's salary? Mike.

Well, maybe if our fans, quote unquote, did their job and spread the word. Have you seen the, what's that Tesla truck called? Like the land truck? Cybertruck. Cybertruck. I saw, I was walking in Griffith Park the other day. I see a Cybertruck and I saw like. Oh, one of those weird, they're like kind of weird and like trapezoidal.

It's like a tinfoil trapezoid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a trapezoid. But I know, I saw like three of them this week. Fucking Bender's wet dream. Stop. If you're a Futurama fan. Bender's wet dream.

I saw one of these driving Griffith Park. I said, at that tim it's a cyber truck and then while i was looking at you you're like admiring like they're they're electric and they're quiet and they're so smooth and as i was watching it like backfired it was like like a model d like a like a fucking jalopy like a chitty chitty bang bang i'm wondering if they built in like it backfires like a real car but it's like backfire is only something i've ever seen movies in like the 80s it's never it doesn't and for like plot points of like oh my god a gun went off sounds yeah exactly yeah or like uh kramer does it and this sounds like a starter pistol and the rate yeah yeah that's exactly what I'm thinking. Oh man.

Cosmo Kramer and Jerry Seinfeld. Cosmopolitan Kramer. As this gets melty, I'm loving it. The molasses-y caramel nature of the honey is, it's reminding me of cane juice. Giving cane juice. Giving cane juice. Cane juice. You know it's got juice cane. Juice cane.

Planter's Punch. Planter's Punch. That's the Planter's Punch song. Oh, this tastes exactly like Planter's Punch. Yeah. No, Planter's Punch is even better. But Planter's Punch, Tim, also boasted to having healing qualities. Remember?

There you go. And I had had one i had a couple that night and i woke up right as rain never felt better than after a couple planters punches damn i should start doing that every night and every morning when i wake up this is curing me i had a i had a bad i had a bad case of um good taste in mouth, so this is curing that right quick. I can't believe it's that nasty. I'm getting more... I'm going to, for my round two, I'm not going to use any cachaça. I'm just using rum. Yeah.

It is funny. We've had probably 16 rum-lime drinks, but this is, apparently, this is the origin story. It's going way, way back. What were those years, Tim, that you were talking about with this? Oh, like the late 1800s, second half of the 1800s.

Cool. You want to make a second round? Y'all's. Let's do it. Folks, we'll be right back after this. Y'all's. and we're back with round two of can't change harris i just did hot water to make the process easier oh to make your honey soft yeah but that's a good idea then i'm definitely not spreading the goop around it's just like a liquid ingredient that's going in you weren not spreading the goop around. It's just like a liquid ingredient that's going in first. You weren't spreading the goop anyway. And you mentioned hot.

Jeff, look, I made a hot conchonchera. Oh, wow. It's a healing. A tiny guy. Yeah, not a big yield, as Jeff would say. Oh, I guess the ice is gone. The cubes would really fill it up. Yeah.

And Mike, what did you make? I just did rum. I made the same thing, except without the concha. What the fuck are we talking about? Conchinchara. Cachacha, I did not put in. Cachacha. Sips.

I like that name though, cachacha. I wish I liked cachacha. Oh, I took my sip. Something's wrong with it. It's a little bit weird. Cachacha is funny because it's got a lot of C's in it, and they're all pronounced differently. You got C-A-C-A-C-A.

Oh, yeah. That's cool. They're using every part of the buffalo. It's like that reminds me of that quick brown fox jumps over the hedge or something is like a lazy brown fox jumps over the hedge. It uses all the letters of the alphabet yeah what is that quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog yes z you got the z and y and lazy boom you throw a q in there quick q you you're done you're done you're fucking done

this hot one is uh yeah it's not as diluted without the ice, so it's pretty strong. I'm like, it's zippy. Damn, if I knew the name of the guy who hosts Hot One, after you said that to him, I would have been like, okay, somebody call. Sean Evans. Sean Evans. Get Evans on the horn. I got a celebrity who's got a metal tongue. We could use the Evans bump.

Sean Evans is, is a sort of a mysterious man. He's very plain, not a hair on his head. And, um, not a hair out of place, not a hair on his head. We don't know anything about him other than he's a fantastic interviewer, right? The questions on Hot Ones are, are extremely good questions and, and Hot Ones is hugely successful we don't know much about the man and then he was in a news item he was dating a porn star he went to the super bowl with this porn star big news and then like two days later he dumps her and then if that was that i guess he it's like we knew one fact about you sir and then you said no no that i'll take that fact were they dating or did he just was his date to the

Super Bowl? They were in love, Mike. It could have just been in one of those pigskin dates, you know? Yeah. Hey, come on out to the Super Bowl game. We'll talk about our careers. Okay. Enough shit chat. The time has come to judge the

drink. Timothy drink judges. I love shit chat. The time has come to judge the drink. Timothy? Drink, judges. I love it. I think this might be sacrilege. We'll see how things play out next week, but I might like it better than just a daiquiri. I'm more of a rum guy than a

cachaça, so I'm guessing a guardiente wouldn't be my cup of tea either, but the honey adds just a little certain something that was very nice i like it it's an order again i like all of the lime sugar rum drinks i like of course you like it here on the pod yeah here on the sloppy boys whether it's grog or planters punch whether it's mojito or conchandra. A conchandra at lunch. Yeah, at lunch.

A lot of times poems need to rhyme. This is a not order again for me. It's a not order again? Yeah, this is no good. Have you considered the taste? I've considered the taste. That was the big tip off for me to say, I'm not going to do this again. This is going to, I'll put it to you this way, Jeff.

For the blowout, when we record that after this, better episodes, better pod, better vibe. Better ingredients, better pizza. I am going to be cracking open one of my Angry Orchard beers. Ciders, I should say. Wow,'d rather but drink a store-bought angry orchard over this not store-bought given to us by a beloved brand sorry a brand gifted angry orchard over a painstakingly prepared cocktail wow and for me it's an order again but here's the thing folks kind of a pain in the ass drink whenever you're dealing with raw honey use honey syrup yes make honey syrup um and don't worry so much about oh coat the side stir from the bottom to the top that's a mess you're just making a daiquiri with honey instead of other and you

know the cachas is good to make it earthy make it a little different my my honey when i went in the second time and stir around i use the used the same ice, huge clump of honey down there. Yeah. My honey was so raw it had a honeycomb in it. A big stick of honeycomb. Jesus. Stop. How about that? I love that. That's our show.

Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough of The Boys, go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. Plunk down the five and get double the pleasure. We know you can't get enough of the boys. You listen every week, don't you? Yes.

Yes. You love it. Says all the listeners. Yes, we do. We're sheep. It's probably the best community of the week, Friday. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, right. Imagine having the week. Friday. Oh yeah, right. Imagine having that Wednesday as well.

Wow, pretty good. Yeah. Now you're sitting pretty. Wednesday's middle of the week, you're kind of like, I've talked to everyone at work about what I know. Oh, I'm going to talk about the, what I learned on the blowout and have that opinion. Just talk about blowout. Everybody at work gather all around you. Whoa, where did you learn this thing? Mike likes Jon Hamm. Cool. Who's Mike again? That's your fact. Whoa, where did you learn this thing? Mike likes Jon Hamm. Cool. Who's Mike again?

That's your fact. Hey, everyone gather around. Mike likes Jon Hamm. Yeah, you get to work here another week. Now, did anything from the pod here make you think of any of our songs? Okay, what did we discuss?

We talked about Honey. We talked what did we okay we talked about honey we talked about luke wilson we talked about having beef yeah beef we had yeah having anger we talked about cuba anger for your fellow man your friend beef okay this is an easy one beef uh uh smashing the plates love it what do you put beef on? Oh, you went beef to plate. Yeah. Also, this was this drink. We were, we had to energetically stir. We had to smear.

I could see this is a dishware. Yes, this is very much a dishware episode. And that's a song that takes place at Williams-Sonoma. I could, I could, if I, if I had a gift card for Williams-Sonoma, I'd probably buy some stuff to make some conchoncheros. And a guy at Topline Liquor said it was like Reiki from France or Uzo from Greece. He was wrong. Greece came up.

My, you know, the person I went to my, my sort of specialty liquor store in the neighborhood that I go when we do something like this, I was talking to the guy about, uh, say the name of this stuff again, Aqua, uh, Aguente. Aguardiente. Aguardante. Aguardiente. Aguardiente. Aguardiente. I had to show him the list.

I'm like, this word. He was saying that he thought maybe they didn't get it much anymore because of the Cuban trading embargo. Missile crisis. Okay. But he was saying in the neighborhood, the Cuban people that live in our neighborhood, they'll have it every once in a while. They'll get it somehow. Yeah. Life finds a way yeah i like that i was confused because yeah you can't get cuban cigars and stuff but i do have havana club rum on my shelf i was like how did i get this shit i wonder if it was a distilled like in the u.s or something because i always thought

havana club was one of those things where it was even like i thought it was like called bacardi in america but it's fan club elsewhere i'm wrong i'm wrong about that i could be wrong like hellman's best foods yeah i can be still be a good person but i've been wrong about things and i have remorse for that yeah well tim's a guy who's always working always listening yeah i thought he was frozen for a second but he was holding a stern he's holding a stern face. He's holding a stern, thoughtful, pensive face. Holding stern. Yeah, holding stern. That's what Howard's wife does, I'm sure, on Special Occasion.

Stop. I was just thinking about Howard Stern and his phrase of when he has sex, he's like, it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. All right. Good episode, guys. And good episode, those of you listening at home. Yeah. Peace.

Tell a friend next time, why don't you? Yes, please. And enjoy this. We got plenty of room here. Plenty of room here on the pod. Oh, yeah. Folks, if you're thinking like, oh, I can't bring all my friends because there's no bandwidth. We've got plenty of bandwidth.

Everyone can listen. Don't gatekeep the laughs, folks. Bring a friend. Yeah, don't be an asshole. Don't be an asshole. Everyone can listen. Don't gatekeep the laughs, folks. Bring your friend. Yeah, don't be an asshole. Don't be an asshole. Bye, folks. You little freaks. We love you. Enjoy Smashing the Plates by the Slotty Boys. Give it up for your boys.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys I walked right into Williams-Sonoma Everything was nice and fancy, Myers I was having fun, I was having a moment And then I got a little too wild I started smashing the plates Yeah, I was having fun, I was having a moment And then I got a little too wild I started smashing the plagues Yeah, I was smashing the plagues Oh, I was smashing the plagues

And I was smashing the plagues What can I say? I was having fun What can I say? I'm Greek An ancient desire, an inner instinct To yon us onto the Kumbha streak. I was smashing the plates! Yeah, I was smashing the plates! Oh, I was smashing the plates!

And I was smashing the plates! I strolled over to Crate and Barrel and Ethan Allen and Sir LaTop. You know what I did? What I did right then? I ran back to Williams Sonoma started smashing the place

Yeah, I was smashing the place Oh, I was Smashing the place Yeah, I was smashing the place And it's true Yes, it's true Yes, it's true Yeah, it's true Oh, it's true

Figs and melon and cacciatore They're gonna be laying all over the floor Eat pickles and peppers and cornichons There's no circle surface to be laying them on No fine pine china, no ceramic receptacles for your limes, your pine nuts, your yams, your vegetables. No porcelain place for your gherkins and dates.

Somebody went and trashed all the platters, but it's not my fault. What were they thinking? Sure, I guess I'd feel remorse, but you gotta understand the risk you're running. You can't let a freak in a preppy plate store, and it's not just plates, it's metaphor-y Greater, grander allegory

The plates are fierce, the food is love And me, I'm an angel from above Cheeses and scones may break your bones When they're falling all over old Bills and Gnomes Sharp, sharp, sharp, there's no shartsy or partier But it's a part of me nonetheless Cause I was smashing the plates Yeah, I was smashing the plates

Oh, I was smashing the plates And I was smashing the plates Yeah, I was smashing the plates Oh, I was smashing the plates Yeah, I was smashing the plates And I was smashing the plates I was smashing the place. And I was smashing the place. I was smashing the place.