The Sloppy Boys - 181. Mudslide

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

The guys dig into the "dark ages" of cocktails with this sweet sipper from the '70s. Invented at Wreck Bar on Grand Cayman Island, the mudslide quickly became a favorite of fern bars and their family restaurant contemporaries.MUDSLIDE RECIPE:1oz/30ml VODKA1oz/30ml COFFEE LIQUEUR1oz/30ml BAILEYS IRISH CREAM1.5oz/45ml HEAVY CREAMAdd ingredients to a shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled. Strain into a chilled fizz or coupe. Garnish with freshly shaved chocolate.Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford and Tim Kalpakis. What is up? You got his name right. Maybe we do more of a serious talk. Sort of a Charlie Rose thing. Sort of somber. How's it going for you guys?

Well, you know, this week is my tax week. You know, when you do tax week, it takes me a week to fill out this thing that my tax preparer gives to me that i you know makes it easier on her mike it just takes me a week to build up the gumption to tackle it i like today today was just like getting the pages all out on like my task every page i'm like everything i think is printed and i i was like yeah okay i can fill out my name and address i know those my social sure i'll do the easy stuff in certain easy stuff tonight like as if tomorrow because today i thought it was like i'm gonna sit down at it and just do it what's there to do you

just do it add up the numbers you have to dig into all these stupid fucking things and it's like oh i need to get that thing but my password doesn't. So I do the password reset and my email's not showing up. And it's just like, you're going down this rabbit hole of stupid bullshit. And I'm not going to reset my password, like write down my password because, uh, it's an app or it's a website.

He was once a year. Tim, you, you once used the term allergic to paperwork and I feel like that's just nails it. I was like worried for you, and I feel like that just nails it. I'm just worried for you. I'm physically averse to it. Yeah, I'll kind of break out.

Well, Tim will swell up. I will kind of break out into a cold sweat. But here's what's especially bad about taxes. Some years, you do that full questionnaire, you jump through all the hoops, you add up the deductions, and you didn't even beat the standard deduction, and you could have just not done any of it the whole time. What does the standard deduction mean? It's like you can go through and do all your write-offs, or you could assume you're like the common man

and we'll just give you this number. You know, like assume that this much of it was work-related. Three hit podcasters common man yeah i prefer to stand out thank you very much yeah i'd rather pay more in taxes if i could stand out but i think they they assume everybody is like uh getting a you know i don't know a certain chunk of it back and you could just say yeah give me the normal chunk and if you do like turbo tax or something you should probably just do that but it can be a lot of wasted work you pay a tax later lady a ton of money and she says jokes on you dude you blew it um now i wanted to ask you guys we are about a

week out from it's a week has passed since the episode where jeff called mike out for talking talking too much on the pod for not nothing i believe that and and i listened back mike you immediately turned to you pointed at me and said he talks 33 you talk too much, Tim. You're talking more than your 33%. In fact, this incident has re-inspired me. I get on board with my 2024 New Year's resolution, only speak 33% of the pod or less. But between you guys, this was brutal stuff.

And I was an innocent bystander and it was nasty. It got nasty. Is this a gotcha interview? Like a little post show interview? I just want to follow up. Andy Cohen would probably follow up if there had been a brutal fight. We should get him on the show. I wonder if he listens to the show or if he talks about this show on What's

Up Next. They have guest bartenders on Watch What's Happening Live, so they probably do. I wonder what his signature drink is. I bet Schramm. Oh, he must have a signature. Schramm knows. I bet Schramm's done that. He's a deadhead. I'll tell you that. Who is? Andy Cohen. Oh, that's cool. No.

But he's so buttoned up. Maybe the three of us will see him when we go to the sphere to see fish. The three of us. Yeah, jury's still out on Jeff. It's not out. The jury's in. He's not going. Jeff might now just come to Vegas, he said, but not go to the show. Which, when he gets there, he's going to the show.

No. That'd be worse. That'd be worse. You guys go to that sphere. I'm going to go to the LA sphere. The practice sphere. You've seen it. The practice sphere.

And we can compare spheres. Now, wait a minute. We were getting back to something. Yes something yes tim that was an electric event uh did you upon looking at the tape i haven't re-looked the tape but i haven't heard it back yet did you feel like anyone was at fault you're asking me or tim i'm asking tim fault like if this was a car accident who would have caused the thing now yeah what's our what's our sober audit of the situation here's what who if i had to blame one person it would be gustav pat pabst for starting the pabst company and winning the

blue ribbon cut to 100 years later but tim he practically years ago. He practically quenched your indie sleaze era. He did, and I thank him for that. And your grunge era. And my grunge era. Party on, Wayne. Here we are, three good Christian men, trying to host a podcast, and he comes out

with his descendants come out with the THC, so it gets us high. And they put some thcv in there too yeah that was the hand for talking you got jeff grumpin you got two g you got two i haven't seen you fucking like bust out like that in a long time yeah it happens it happens yeah it happened when i was messing with mookie one time. Oh my God. Oh yes. And there's a common culprit that THC. Well, that was, that was, that was a great night. It was every time I, we went to a Grateful Dead tribute band together at the lodge room. It was great.

But every time I looked over at Mike and Mookie, Mike was either lecturing Mookie or yelling at Mookie. And they just make a very funny duo. If you're kind of like, I was like with them, but I had fallen silent and I was doing my own thing. I'm sure I had done. I'm sure I was like being jokingly yelling at him.

I don't think I was actually, well, there's two, there was two incidents. Once I looked over and you were honestly pontificating like, that's the thing with America, man. It's corporate shit. shit oh you figured it out

and mookie wasn't listening and i laughed and i was like he doesn't give a fuck and i lost my mind but then the next time it was like an hour later we were watching the band mookie's watching the band we're sitting right up front oh yeah yeah yeah he's back to the stage and mookie is wearing a teenage mutant ninja turtle shirt and the lettering is sort of Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hanford has his back to the stage. Bad move. Mookie is wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt, and the lettering is sort of splotchy and red. And Hanford goes, yo, look, you look like you got spaghetti sauce on your shirt.

Yelling at him. I owe him an apology when I see him. Yeah. Poor guy was just trying to have a night on the town. His friend was lambasting him. Well, you know, going back to that, the incident as it's now being called, we, I think Jeff and I are over it, but I could see that bubbling up for Jeff and I've been playing Fortnite.

Okay. And when we're on there, maybe sometimes Mike isn't doing the exact thing Jeff wants. Don't play on the Fortnite. You got, Mike's got the gift of gab, you see. Yeah,

I won't stop. But sometimes you get, you put a little THCV on them and you, and you just get, it sort of, it sort of doubles or triples. Yeah, or triples.

I like that it's not the THC. We've narrowed it down to the thcv it's that one there are only certain cannabinoids that will make hanford uh chat wait did we did we get the word out about who uh you know we were gonna play a show in la i mean as of the airing of this podcast, it happens tomorrow night in. Oh, that's right. Laudrum Highland Park. Well, now we were going to play last month in March, remember? Mm-hmm. And did we say who bounced us?

No, we, oh, we haven't told this whole thing. Oh, this is good. Now, Jeff, you'll love this story. Jeff, buckle up, buddy. You know this story, but you're going to. Okay, go for it. Jog me. All right. you know this story but you're gonna okay go go for it jog me all right so march 15th the sloppy boys were hold on let me just point out real quick mike you were waiting like i was

gonna tell the story and i almost told the story and then i said no tim 33 percent you know very good well and usually i let that usually i do i if there's pause, I say, Tim's got it. He knows what's going on. But then I don't know. I need to now step up and tell the story. Okay, Jeff, you remember back in March 15th, we were supposed to open for Don't Stop or We'll Die. Yes? Yes.

Now that didn't happen because we got bumped. The whole show got bumped and we found out the show got put then pushed to april 6th that's happening tomorrow ah that's what's happening ah now now we know but we got bumped on that first show by you'll never guess weezer the band weezer playing the entire blue album beginning to end as a warm-up for their tour and this particular show had dog star open keanu's band that's so fucking crazy i thought that that was like a joke they're like from the 90s like we all know that like the celebrity band that you make fun of is dog star and they're still active they dog star i think that that there

were some articles about him last year like he's getting them back together they're playing shows again but i think the reason for that line any word on um 12 odd foot of grunts is that uh cameron crow yeah no no it's uh cameron russell russell crow russell crow what was that name jeff 12 12 odd foot of grunts. Meaning if you laid all the guys down, they'd be like 12 odd feet long. Oh. That's what they...

That's the joke. So there's like two people in it? Three people, maybe? Or they're just very short. Maybe they're all short. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead.

Go ahead, Tim. Yeah, we just decided thatsell crowe is two feet tall yeah we cracked the case six people in this band i had heard that i saw an instagram video of rivers cuomo uh telling the story that there was some with early days of weezer in la there was a club that they really wanted to play at and he would like call all the time trying to of Weezer in LA. There was a club that they really wanted to play at. And he would like call all the time, trying to get Weezer booked and they wouldn't do it.

They wouldn't book them. And the club owner was like, um, like nah dudes. And then one day he called rivers up, uh, like last minute, like,

Hey, we just had a band drop out. Can you come play tonight? We need someone to open for Dogstar. So that was like an affirmative LA gig for Weezer in the early 90s was opening for Dogstar. So now the tables have turned. Have they not, Keanu? What have you done in the last 30 years, Keanu?

Yeah, come on, Keanu. Keanu Robb. Keanu. Keanu Robbs. All right. Damn. Well, should we get into some booze news? Mm-hmm.

Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip. Booze news, hit it. Ah. The handman keeps fucking up again. And the drink tastes nothing like it should just tip

our bed at him again cause it's not made correctly okay Sandman was sent to us by Okay. Sandman was sent to us by Fonzie. And if you have a booze news theme, email it to the sloppy boys podcast at gmail.com.

Now that was a parody of the built to spill. The plan to spill. I was going to say, is that turnstile? One of the only built to spill songs I know. Good song. song well what do you think of the lyrical content of this that's good for them if they want to have that type of fun i don't think you guys are ever i don't think you guys are ever mad at me about the ingredients that i choose to put no no no it's for talking too much it's for no well it's i love the movie make me so happy if mike becomes known as the guy who talks too much

now mike i thought you you said you've muted that channel right the uh when people are talking you on on discord you don't take a look anymore well you gotta mute the haters tim you gotta meet the haters but i you know on this i have to listen to the booze news themes or whatever uh i i can see that the the bar has certainly fallen for the booze news themes or whatever uh i can see that the the bar has certainly fallen for the booze news themes in quality yeah quality in quality and content how do you feel about your co-host giving the haters a platform that's kind of weird yeah what the hell is going on with that tim um you looked like you were you did look like you were frozen but your eyes were blinking and moving like a creepy painting yeah oh i i thought it was halloween but it's not um i chose that because here's what happens right before we start the podcast every week i open up the sloppy boys

podcast at gmail.com i'm overwhelmed there's too many booze news themes lots of people are getting overlooked it's a complete shit show and if i I click on one, it makes me laugh. And I'm sorry, Fonzie made me laugh. He was coming for my boy. No, I think it's great. I, I, uh, I love it. I don't take any offense to it. Uh, I make the drinks pretty much spot on every time these days. So I'm not worried about it. It's a very Trumpian interpretation of the actual event. I kind of make them perfectly every time. Shit, I was just going to say something. Oh, Tim, for those who want to do Booze News themes,

where, not where, what helps sort of highlight you picking a Booze News theme? Oh, that's good. This is a good inside tip. Oh, I'm going to open this one because the subject has a cool emoji in it. Okay. This is so cool because here I am, the editor-in-chief of Booze News. I'm used to asking the questions as a journalist. And now here I am kind of being interviewed. Does it feel weird? Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of being interviewed does it feel weird yeah yeah i'm i'm kind of uh freaking out a little bit um here's here if i could give a i listen to them all no

one's gonna get not listened to but what happens is between the listen there's no process between getting clicked on and making onto the show because the inbox is a mess i try i try to have labels funny one you know or timely i try to get the timely ones or seasonal ones on the these ones suck we put those ones over there the ones that suck well the the there aren't too many sucky ones the slop heads are a clever bunch and but i feel like here's the thing i'll listen to one and i'll say it's funny and then i'll listen to another one and i'll be like, Oh, I got to do that for St. Patrick's day or whatever.

And then meanwhile, the one that was like, it's funny is forgotten. Right. Yeah. It's tough. Damn. Sorry.

Damn. Yeah. Can I tell you the actual news though? Yeah. The actual news would be great. Not, not news about the booze news process. I wanted to check in with the

X-Sphere. We never see the inside of Dan Rather's office, okay? Well, it's funny because sometimes the news becomes the news. Matt Lauer. Interesting. Do you think they'll do a whole morning show style drama show about us

and the making of this pod? Hmm. Yes, I think so. Yeah, I hope so. All right, go ahead.

Booze news. Okay. Have you heard of a thing that was on Twitter? The Kiki Palmer, a drink. That's a drink. I have just, uh, messaged it to you in our chat.

I like Kiki Palmer. Okay. So recently, ex-user Raji the Don tweeted a picture of an Arnold Palmer and said, Lemonade and iced tea. What do you call this in your city or state? I'm from Jersey. It's an uptown. Oh, an uptown.

And then you got a lot of people chiming in saying Arnold Palmer. You got people saying half and half, 50-50. Oh, you got a lot of people chime in saying Arnold Palmer Palmer Palmer. Yeah. People saying half and half 50 50. And then it gets a retweet or an ex repost quote style from actress singer Kiki Palmer. And she says it's an Arnold Palmer. But if you add some tequila, it becomes a Kiki Palmer. And then this goes viral. A lot of people are talking a lot of slop heads sending it to me. It's an Arnold Palmer, but if you add some tequila, it becomes a Kiki Palmer. That's cool. And then this goes viral.

A lot of people are talking. A lot of slopheads sending it to me. You know that we love Arnold Palmers. We just talked about him with Nick Weiger on this very pod. We like the Nick Weiger, too. Oh, right. Nick Weiger, which is more iced tea than lemonade. It's the original.

Yeah, it's the original Arnold Palmer. Yeah. iced tea than lemonade it's the original it's yeah it's the original arnold palmer yeah now have you guys worked that into your uh the name drink name and if it's a 50 50 you call it uh a half and half or whatever but then when you measure the ratios and then you say this is an original arnold uh that's what i would say yes the answer is yes yes always yes uh i am gonna try that kiki palmer drink i like that idea hers has a nice gradient to it it looks like a tequila sunrise you see that oh that is nice oh from yellow to brown um everybody knows the vodka version is called the john daly because he's a vodka golfer. Um, but he's a renowned drunk.

I always thought that it was like, Oh, that's funny. Like, uh, he's a drunk and then that drink is called the John Daly. But I saw, I clicked on an article about him recently. He's like, Hey, it is vodka specifically and he said he was like there was a time in his life he was drinking like a handle a day like i didn't know that that i didn't know one could do that yeah i have been leaning into the arnold palmer's more in general though that's nice i'm making it a point when I go somewhere I say can this happen here? what I'm about to describe

can this happen here? I guess you'll have to describe it before I can give the answer ah yes let me proceed damn was that it for Booze News? wrap it up that's it for Booze News

get in my belly well now the booze news is out of the way sure would be nice to figure out what we're doing this week well we're doing a drink that i've been wanting to do for a while but you couldn't for a while could you tim because i was shackled by the IBA cocktail list. Yes, we all were. It was stuck. Like a chain gang. Made to drink only certain drinks. We're now like NSYNC when the No Strings Tour,

when it's like, we got to come under that record label. We can be the real us. We got to Photoshop that, man. Come on, man. Get on it. Somebody's on there. Come on, Ghost of Craig T. But there's five of them.

There's only three of us. Oh, the cheers thing? No, on the NSYNC album cover and the no strings attached. That's going to be a big decision for that person to make. It could be Joey Fatone and Lance Bass. Yeah, just keep the good ones.

So did that album, it's not like that was an indie album or something, right? It just means that they, was it like Lou Pearlman wasn't bossing them around anymore or something? It was marketing shit. I wonder if it was a thing where like they like got more, they could get more money for themselves or something. Or like maybe they wrote some of their own songs.

Is that conceivable? The one thing I learned that's interesting Is Lou Pearlman owned both Backstreet Boys and NSYNC and didn't tell them And like pitted them against each other in competition Wow Or like managed the both of them Yeah yeah yeah He had Backstreet Boys first and he was like

Hmm everywhere there's Coke There's Pepsi Everywhere there's McDonald's there's Burger King Why don't we have McDonald's and Burger King and created the other group? That's so smart. And then Avril Lavigne's like, ain't you heard about Wendy's? Don't forget about me. Wendy's. I'm Wendy. I'm the Wendy's. Now, what if someone made a Photoshop of like the Wendy's logo, but it's wearing a loose necktie and

it's like avril and it's what you know that's good that's good why is the beef so complicated something like that of craig t get on that one come on craig t's gonna be busy at the end of this episode we better shut up hey craig you can be busy as fuck um okay so yeah when we got free from the iba this was the first drink that came to my mind because I'd been wanting to do it. This is a TGI Fridays. It's middle class fancy. It's dark age cocktail stuff. It's fern bars from the fern bar to Bennigan's to Rudigan's to JP Skadoo's.

Moe's family feedback is the vibe. I've heard all my life, but I've never had the mudslide. Have you had? Never had heard. Never.

It's also one of these drinks kind of like the kind of like the daiquiri where I thought it was a much bigger production. Yeah. We'll talk about what it is where I thought it was a much bigger production. Yeah. We'll talk about what it is. I thought it was a milkshake.

It often is. God damn it. I got to get the T. When I say that word, I say often. I looked it up. It's often. Yeah. Yeah.

I say the T and I can't stop. Often. I'm crazy for that T. Oftentimes. I thought your name begins with a T. That's probably why I want to be. You're biased towards the T and I can't stop I'm crazy for that T oftentimes your name begins with a T that's probably why I want to be you're biased towards the T I leave the T out because I

in my entire name I have no Ts people get on me for saying onion instead of onion what do you say? how do you say it? onion ung? onion

onion like U-N-G? onion so people get on you for saying the wrong word for saying it wrong yeah for saying it wrong why do people get on you for just saying it completely wrong it's got gives a little bounce also i can't tell what what the difference like i can tell there is a difference but i can't tell you're saying like ung onion onion well don't just say what are you saying can't hear it though when't just say it. What are you saying? Can you hear it though when I say it? Now, Jeff, are you able to chalk this up to being a New Hampshire thing?

Yeah, I am too. Yes. Unequivocally, yes. Were you raised on onions? I also say I'm going to my room. Yeah, you say rum. So that's a classic. Yeah.

Is that New Hampshire though? I think that's a classic. Yeah. Is that New Hampshire though? I think that's a New England thing. It's something. A lot of people say that. I thought I was raised by a weird dad or something. I think it's like an old timey thing. My dad also says milk instead of milk. That's weird.

No explanation for that. I've heard that in New Jersey. I hear vanilla a lot. Oh, vanilla. Water? No, not that. That's like Delaware or Pittsburgh or Pennsylvania. That's for the Margeras. Oh, we got to look

up that movie that he's in, Ming Hags. No, Ming Hags is the sequel to Haggard. We got to watch Haggard first. We got to find something. Okay, this is not what we're talking about. This is not. This is not what we're talking about. I think not. This is not what we're talking about. I think it kind of is.

Well, what I wanted to do right here is that I listened to a really good conversation between David Wondrich and Noah Rothbaum. There's an old podcast called Life Behind Bars. They're like cocktail historians, you know. cocktail historians you know and uh they i listened to an episode about the dark ages of cocktails which is basically the whole second half of the uh 20th century i also read some articles and i thought it would be a good moment for us here to do a quick reset to set the scene for a lot of drinks that we are going to be doing soon here on the pod yeah wow perfect fun drinks finally we got a lot of fun ones on the way while you read this tim can we uh just kind of take it easy um you can basically chill out hang around

do you remember in um adam sandler's old hbo stand-up special he covered bruce springsteen's out on the street and uh it It's not a funny song, so he's like, okay, now I'm going to do a cover of a song. You guys can have fun, goof off, do whatever you want. He just plays a three-minute Springsteen song, and kids in the crowd are goofing off.

It's a lot of the material from They're All Gonna Laugh At You, but it's live. Ooh. But we're not here to talk about that no no here's a little nutshell of my understanding of why cocktails in the second half of the 20th century are bartenders say it's the dark ages basically it's like when the 1900s start you got original cocktail culture totally popping off you know uh all the old timey drinks and then if we go into prohibition we get you know there's the speakeasies and the

bootleggers and the flappers and the roaring 20s type of stuff it kind of keeps going okay through prohibition it's just under the table and then through the 30s dreaming stop that is actually a dave matthews album though yep yeah i i don't i keep with it tim tim you're doing good no feel free to bring up any i told you to goof off and that's how you're choosing yeah how do i goof the thing here is world war ii guys that would that would be an event that would change things right it's kind of a big deal oh yeah not just in the cocktail world ww2 yep so a bar a lot of bartenders get drafted b uh a lot of American distilleries. They're used to pouring the drafts. Yes.

How confusing would that be? You can imagine how disorienting that must be for them. You're going to draft me? It's almost as if Uncle Sam was the bartender of the troops. Yes. But also American whiskey distilleries are getting shut down. It's wartime, so importing and exporting is all weird.ies are like getting shut down. It's wartime. So importing and exporting is all weird. You're not getting premium spirits shipped into America.

So that puts a wrinkle of things. But then as the war ends, think about the 50s. You know, we're talking the mid-century, like space age, supermarket, Betty Crocker, the type of stuff that you see on that instagram account we like 70s dinner party you know like that vibe that pops up in the middle of the 1900s it's like people like that this there's no fresh fruit juices because people are like oh canned juice can go concentrate in the freezer they like the they think it's modern and they think they're like the jetsons they're like that's cool ah yes a popular cartoon that would soon come yes they didn't know it was coming yet the way it was paved for that

jetson family these fools didn't see what was coming um oh it's true now even though like whiskey and stuff is uh kind of out of style weirdly vodka remains popular through this era and it's like uh able you're able to import it even though it's cold war time that's kind of weird to me um but you know vodka is just so straightforward and alcoholy so it gets starts getting used a lot in like bloody marys and screwdrivers where it's like drinks where the alcohol disappears you know you never notice it exactly people start saying like that thing of like hey try this you can barely taste the alcohol as if that's like a good thing um but and then uh i mean i guess through this whole era of dry martinis are like the one old timey drink that persists.

Stuck around? It stuck around. You had like Dale DeGroff making them at the Rainbow Room. They're still eating steaks and, you know. Yeah. You can, you know. Something needs to cut those things. You need something.

You can't have an entire ribeye sitting in your stomach. Unchung. No. Unchung. Okay. We're up in the 50s now, right? Exactamundo. I like this. I like uh little tour through here well thank you um i spent my afternoon uh reading and now i'm kind of like sharing it with my two co-hosts it shows it shows um the here's the thing guys with the juice then the drinks get bigger

right uh and and uh we start to get a little juicier we start to get a little juicier. We start to get a little sweeter. And then in the 70s, we get the fern bars, brass rails, stained glass lamps, yuppies in New York and San Francisco. We're allowing in women now. We sort of skipped the 60s. We skipped the...

That was sort of a tumultuous time in America. I thought so too. You had Vietnam. Based on some of the books I read. Peace and Love, Women's Lib. Here's what's funny about that. JFK. We've all watched Mad Men.

In Mad Men, they're all drinking old fashions and Gibsons and martinis and Manhattans. So maybe. So they're just out of style guys. Like that's just like business guy. Grandpas. Maybe those are the guys on Madison Avenue that were keeping that thing alive. Yeah, I think you're right. And those are the guys keeping dames out of the bars.

I call them women. When they start to age out, that's when the fern bars are like, actually, we like having young single people come out, and it's kind of more everybody get in here. That's right, Jeff, because the first fern bar is the original tgi fridays on the upper east side which is known to be the first singles bar that said hey ladies come on in by yourself sit sit at the bar by yourself and maybe a nice man will buy you a harvey wallbanger come on in nothing's gonna happen to. Is there out in the street?

Hey, lady. Is this? Okay. I forget. Is the original TGI Fridays still there? No. No. But you can see it in Cocktail.

Yes. Yes. Well, we don't know if they actually shot there, but that was the idea. There was like an exterior of OG Fridays. I haven't looked up the location. And it was a wild party spot if you remember mike most certainly was yes i'm sure um fern bar drinks 70s done then you got all kinds of fern bars and it's like yuppies are drinking yeah the harvey wallbanger and the fuzzy navel and the snake bite and the alabama slammer we're getting sweeter we're getting bigger into the 80s

um here's a funny thing oh this is what i heard from wondrich on that podcast at one point premium spirits were so out of style that chartreuse which there's currently a shortage of which we know is like made by monks in france very fancy in the 70s they were not selling any chartreuse in america so they came out with a drink called uh what did i write swamp water and uh it was chartreuse and pineapple juice and they had these collectible glasses you could buy and they're like everybody's drinking swamp water i feel like i've heard that before that sounds cool i would drink i would chug some swamp water yeah i googled have some short we should track down some of these glasses it's it's it's a cool

era i mean i don't really love sweet drinks but it is all this stuff is very funny to me um but then yeah through the 80s we got sex in theze, Woo Woo, all these ones that spun off from the Cape Codder, which was invented by Ocean Spray. Mm-hmm. Plus, 80s, 90s, the moms are drinking Barl's and James and wine coolers, white wine spritzers. That rides us right through the 90s. We got the Sex and the City, Appletini type thing. Right. And just as the 20th century ends.

Before we get to the nineties, though, like you're right. Eighties. I like all these like technological developments, like canned drinks and all this stuff. That's great. But eighties were also marked by just like the economy was good. We were a little bit more optimistic in the wake. It wasn't like the gritty seventies. It wasn't like De Niro taxi driver, Scorsese deniro taxi driver scorsese it's like hey we're all kind of doing okay it's the spielberg 80s and everything's um maximalist and a little tacky and a little tasteless isn't that when uh it was sort of republican run united states yeah a certain demographic is benefiting from the Reagan 80s. And then there's a lot of people

that the trickle down is not trickling down to. Let's just say you got the war on drugs for Christ's sake. Jeff, you also have Bart Simpson not obeying his parents

like at all. Having a cow or not wanting to people to have cows. Bart Simpson saying I'm not getting that. Well, we got you got Reagan

and then Bush, right? Yeah. Boom. Let's keep going. Bring in Bill, baby. Come on. Then Bill. And then Hillary.

And then Hillary. Hillary. Okay, for real. 80s, 90s. So then just right at the end of the 90s, in the Appletini, Carrie Bradshaw type era, that's just, it's only right at the Y2K thing that you start to get original cocktail culture coming back in New York. And then you start to get some hipster guys with some waxy mustaches. And then there's kind of foodiedom and they want to make some old cocktails. And then Mad Men and then Bing Bang Boom.

We're kind of at a peak of cocktails right now like this is well because of the sloppy boys podcast very true that's true you mean at another peak you think this is the peak after the uh mad men era i think it's probably it's we've hung out there we've continued to sell a lot of uh cocktails and liquor for cocktails and stuff like that. But I don't know. I think we're like jumping the shark now where a lot of the, a lot of the articles I've been reading about on like punch and stuff like that right now is like, we're kind of,

I don't know. Like, I don't know what the next step is, but a lot of drinks to me are reading as like kind of just trying to, or, you know, when you're reading articles of like the drink of the summer is this thing you've never heard of it's the dune to the dude who swizzle i think if you ask me i think we're stuck in the in the

the dark ages of the fucking hey here this drink has mescal oh you know you can swap in i went to a mescal bar it It's a mezcal-aria. I feel like we've talked about this before. Should we do the drink and maybe we can talk about... Yeah, it's getting late. Okay, Tim, keep going there. Hey, but you know what? This is just going to be one of those ones where the drink comes later.

Listener, if you have a problem with that, fuck right off. The episode's not going to be any longer. No, Jeff, you cut me off. Fuck off. Oh, shit. Jeff, you haven't taken a breath. Would you let Mike talk? No, I'm owed breaths. You're owed more than a breath.

I'm going to knock you out. I'm going to give you a knuckle, Sam, once the next time I see you. Send you to the planetarium. Remember that, Jeff? Trip to the planetarium. You're seeing stars. Boozearium stars sorry go ahead mike no i was just gonna say we should do an episode where mike takes all the breaths that he didn't take last week

um okay so this particular drink uh how it factors in was a little surprising to me because it was actually invented in the cayman islands at the wreck bar Bar, W-R-E-C-K, like a shipwreck, at Rum Point Beach Club on Grand Cayman Island. It doesn't seem like a beach drink, but it was the 70s. And it was like a 70s guy tourist went to that bar and asked for a white Russian, which is a very fern barry loungy disco drink um and they made him this with that added baileys to the mix maybe they didn't have cream or something so they just did the baileys or i don't know but so yeah it's from the cayman islands but then it quickly gets popular in america fern bars familyants and we are going to be doing the Liquor.com

version of this is the very kind of straightforward original. It eventually became what you guys were expecting with the big scoops of ice cream in it, big giant glass. But this is kind of the original, which is one ounce vodka,

one ounce coffee liqueur, like Kahlua, one ounce Bailey's Irish cream, or other Irish cream, one and a half ounce heavy cream, add the vodka, coffee, liqueur, Bailey's, and cream to a shaker with ice

and shake until well chilled. Strain into a chilled fizz glass or coupe. Garnish with freshly shaved chocolate. Ooh. This is gonna be good. Yeah. Better be. I'm just remembering, I'm looking it up here on Liquor.com and the

banner ads are for Kettle One. I have Kettle One in my free shirt. Oh, Michael. Michael. I've got the name brand Bailey's. I've got the name brand Kahlua. Oh yeah yeah so the kalua i also have that mr black yep the cold brew yep now now it seems like kalua is kind of more the tgi friday's vibe though huh the vibe but mr mr black is sweet right it has sugar in it yeah does mr black have a an alcohol in it though. It's what they use for the espresso martinis.

It's very cold brew tasting. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I have an idea for an elevated round two. I'm going to go Fern Bar round one. Okay. I like that. Okay. All right.

Folks, here come the ads. We'll be right back after these messages. And we're back. Mudslides in hand. Let's see them. Ooh. Bouge. This is probably the best looking drink I've made on the pot.

Mike. Wow. Come on. This is probably the best looking drink I've made on the pot. Wow. Come on. A liberal chocolate shaving coating for Tim. I went a little nuts by accident. I'm going to drink mine because I don't want to spill it. Yeah. Ooh. Oh, yeah.

Now, first impression, it's not too much different than the other ones of this ilk no i mean it's just very funny to taste kalua and baileys at the same time because you you choose baileys or kalua you know yeah like kalua really does have its own, like as I was pouring it, I was smelling it and like, it's got its own like stinky, like. Yeah. I like this drink though. I like that chocolate. So wait, chocolate mudslide.

That's what I thought it was. The same way that you hear like daiquiri, you think strawberry daiquiri, which is like a tweak on it. I thought it was the same way that you hear like daiquiri, you think strawberry daiquiri, which is like a tweak on it. I always heard of it as like, oh, a chocolate mudslide is the big stupid TGI Friday's Applebee's thing. That's maybe the shake. I've never heard that, but that makes sense. Cause a lot of these ones I'm looking at are syrupy. The mental image I had was like, not necessarily ice creamy, but, um, I thought it would be on the rocks. I thought it would be like big and on the rocks. And it sounds nice to me, like, be on the rocks. I thought it would be like big and on the rocks. And it sounds nice to me, like, like on the rocks for some reason,

like a you who on the rocks. This is like, this is like a little, a touch bit too strong of a taste. And I think, I think it is that Kahlua taste. If I did the Kahlua in half, I think this would be spot on. Yeah, because on the Liquor.com thing, they were saying there's a lot of sweet and there's a lot of cream. So you need that vodka to shing, slice through. And it's not slicing.

It's a dessert with a little vodka in there. You could put a lot more vodka and still not notice it in this. It tastes a little bit like when you're eating the chocolate a chocolate part the chocolate on the top is great yes what did you use for chocolate oh i bought i've seen these before tony's you ever seen this wrapping before oh yeah tony's choccoloni yeah yeah it's great it's like that's like a big silly cartoon bar i've always seen these things i know they look like uh they look like wonka yeah wonka bars um and what did you shave it with like a cheese shredder yeah like a potato or a carrot peeler oh oh so each peel was hard-earned very hard-earned

damn i used um trader joe's cocoaffles, which I think you guys saw. Oh, I did see them, yeah. On your counter. Simply decadent. Sinful. Hey, you guys shave your pubes? Watch yourself, Jeff. Watch it, buddy.

Manscaped is a wonderful product. They also got Manscaped Body Wash, Manscaped Shampoo. The Lawnmower 2.0. They stopped sponsoring us, but... You know what? I think they caught on. They're like, those guys don't have pubes. They couldn't grow pubes if they tried. Those guys rip them out by the roots.

We're going to the salon every day and getting waxed and plucked. Rip them out by the roots. Like grass in the outfield. I just bought a Hershey bar and I used a cheese grater um just one of those flat things or julienne thing when nice this is man if i had a scoop of vanilla ice cream here i would add it to my next one damn i got a freezer full of jenny's but it's all kooky flavors yeah yeah i'm getting backed up i owe them some instagram videos it's a rough life i know it's getting hard out there for everybody

you know i'm gonna write a novel that's uh like like uh grapes of wrath dust bowl type vibe but it's about a guy who's backed up on artisan ice cream and has the best oh it's too many instagrams oh boy i wanted to ask you guys when you think of tgi fridays and all the restaurants of that ilk not the chain ones but but in in did you have in my town it well it is a chain but me and my brother would be like, mom, dad, can we go to the ground round? Oh, yeah. It was a burger place, but it was like there was a balloon man walking around.

There was popcorn baskets on the tables. There's silent cartoons playing. Yeah, like Three Stooges films playing on a projector. Popcorn, right. In Rhinebeck, we had a knockoff hard rock cafe called the rolling rock cafe where i first had buffalo wings and then really nice and this also makes me think like we had in the mall we had a restaurant called the coyote cafe where you would get like a frozen margarita or whatever but in this the genre of a whole lot of crap on the

walls did you have like a beloved one that your family went to? Not one that wasn't a chain. We had Ruby Tuesdays and Applebee's, but... Did you like those? No, you know, I think I went to Applebee's when I was in like, I don't think I went as a kid, but I went in college and I was like, this food is fucking terrible. It is like so mushed.

It's like when you get a McDonald's hamburger and what you see on tv is like a big fluffy burger that flops down uh this was like that that version where it's like oh this food is smushed that's so funny when it comes in a takeout bag you expect a little smush but when it shows up on like a nice plate in a restaurant you're like what smushed it smushed it on its way out of the kitchen i smushed it well did you guys have the 99 that maybe that was like an east coast thing that's more recent in my town we got it like within the last decade i think wow i i feel like that's a fern bar i don't know if it had so much crap on the walls i only went to it once but when the the Outback Steakhouse showed up, that was a

fun one. Oh, yeah. Man, we were crazy for Australia back then, huh? Yeah, fake Australia, kind of. Yeah, like Crocodile Dundee and Fosters and all that shit and the Simpsons one episode and the Crocodile Hunter. Yeah, we just couldn't get enough

of that. Tasmanian Devil, I can keep going. Stop. I wish you would. it's funny that if q jackman was born born raised at that time it felt like exotic and funny and now it's just like so many of our biggest actors are australian you know i've been there before yes you went on a comedy bang bang tour tour, huh? Oh my God, you're right. Now, you're spread out. Is it spread out? Well, we did Sydney, Brisbane, and Melbourne, and then Perth, which is on the other side of the country. So, it was really funny going to Perth, like on the other side of the world, being in a brand new country on a weird time.

Like, your schedule's all off for a few days. And you're like, OK, and now we're going across this country. And it's like we did too, right? That's pretty big. I liked it. It's Sydney was the is like the main the big main city there. Most populated city, I think. And it was kind of a whirlwind.

And we had to get it was like show show show and then kind of gone but we did have a couple days off to sort of get on the right schedule show show show is that is that like a song that you sang on stage show show show show show your booty show your booty show show show wow i'm looking here uh Australia is nearly... It's pretty much the size of the United States. Oh. It's huge, man. It's huge. Now, New Zealand, very small.

Oh, yes. So small. Fits on the head of a pin. You know, I was watching... It's like Horton Hears a Who. Watching some of those Lord of the Rings movies on the flight back from seeing you guys. Oh. I watched a little bit of the second one.

Two Towers. Did I tell you I read the book? That as an in-flight movie. Yeah, it was a weird one. I read the first one, not The Hobbit, the first Lord of the Rings Fellowship a couple summers ago. Did we talk about this? No.

You're such a reader. I'm such a voracious reader. Thank you. I had it This guy read Dune This guy read Dune By Frank Kramer He tried to read Dune

I fucked Dune sucked Mike was recently Staying at my place I check in on him He's laying on the couch Reading Lincoln and the Bardo Oh that was a great book

I'm a little late That was the big thing Like in I think 2017 It came out But my brother got it For me for Christmas Great book Really really Really really well written There's no devil in the white city but yeah a

great book another one of my faves we're supposed to read that for the pod and then talk about how it's the same chicago world's fair as pabst blue ribbon ah that's right it's a good book it would be really funny to just one day have a blowout that is a book and just not even address that it's weird and it's like we're kind of drunk and we don't get to it for 40 minutes we didn't we didn't like talk about leading up to it so the audience isn't like reading it's not like sloppy boy's book club it's like what are you i'm reading a book now i'm reading uh tropic of capricorn by henry miller i didn't i didn't know anything about it other than it was mentioned in seinfeld and as a horny

book i think you're right it hasn't gotten there yet i'm only like 50 pages in but that also might be the next one tropic of cancer or that the first one i forget but i found this book in a uh you know in new New York people just leave like boxes on their house of stuff they're getting rid of and I saw this book I said oh I'm gonna take that do you check it for bedbugs knowledge I shook it out book bugs and they all stayed in you guys survive with me you're pretty tough you can ride with the hand man you ride up top on my shoulder um duddy are you reading novels no the last thing i read was uh rick rubin's book oh the the art of creativity the creative act the art of the novel is back

read the novel the novel is back i haven't read a novel in forever is that a thing of the novel is back. Read the novel. The novel is back. I haven't read a novel in forever. Is that a thing? Is the novel back? No, I don't know. Reading is not back. Culturally, reading is not back. It is gone. Speaking of, to tie this in, I've told you guys about the time I was at a bar out here and I saw the guy reading the Anthony Kiedis book and he used a $100 bill for the book market. Cool. That's a fern barern bar move yeah it is sit down with a big old book um where was that at a coffee shop that was at a bar that was a pardon me that was friday night at a bar disgusting like late at 10 30 this was his plan was to

be out a lot of times people reading in public feels like they're trying too hard to get asked about their book. Oh, guys, remember we were at the Dresden and the doorman who like had a lot going on. Let's say there was a ponytail. There was a vest. There was a lot going on. He was reading Infinite Jest. No, the stereotype. And he was like one page into it.

Oh, no. Striking up conversations with ladies like, I love your hair color. That's awesome. But this is the doorman or the bartender? The doorman. That's also a book that's like so unwieldy to hold. Yeah. It's like a thousand pages.

Well, that's the funniest to just be like towards the beginning of the thing, Justin, bringing it out of the house like, yeah, so far so good. Like, come on, man. The first page is really good. Yeah. This is for show. Let's be clear. I do see that sometimes.

Like, I caught myself because I was going to Instagram a page, an insight, a good insight that struck me in the Rick Rubin book. And then I noticed that it was on like page 22. And I said, yeah, you can't Instagram page 22 of a book. It just feels, it feels for show versus like, you know, page 97. You're going out the other end at that point. Hey, I want to, I want to take it back to the drink. Cause I have big plans. Can I say one more book thing?

Sure. I'm reading a book. You know, when you're reading a book, you get the first couple chapters are like two pages long. Yeah. And you're like, this is great. You're going to whiz through this thing. And then like the sixth chapter is thick. That's how I felt in school.

Yeah. I think I tried to say this at stand up. Maybe you guys read that show. But I would like it's so frustrating. You get there, you're like, we had a good thing going. We could have gotten blown through this. You blew it. You blew it.

All right, bring it back to the drink, Jeffy. Also, after Jeff brings it back to the drink, I have something I want to say about restaurants. Okay. Well, round two for me, I'm doing a little Mr. mr black which is less creamy than your kalua it's not much stronger i want to say it's maybe five percent more abv um and then i bet you guys still have it too i want to use that absolute vanilla oh i'm gonna do that Jeff. That's what I needed this whole time. Fuck you. Fuck me.

For having a good idea. It's funny because you're going to add yet another taste to this mix. Yeah, chocolate and vanilla and coffee. I think the vanilla will be... I'm going to do what you just said, Jeff, but I'm taking my... I'm going to do a quarter ounce of Kahlua. Ooh, taking it way down. I just don't think I need that taste. Let's see what happens. Let's see what we got. Now, Tim, your restaurant observation. Oh, well, here's how I got here. I was, we were talking about restaurants. You guys mentioned

Outback Steakhouse. And I remembered there was a two location chain in Poughkeepsie and Albany called Bugaboo Creek. Oh, I've heard of that. It was a Canadian theme. I've heard it advertised. And stuff. It was,

it had a song. It was like Bugaboo Creek. Party with the Reds. Uh oh. It tipped it. Uh oh. But anyway, that then had me thinking

and then I thought of a funny thing. Mike, I know you know this. Jeff, Jeff, have I ever, have you ever heard my story about my friend who had never been

to a restaurant before? No. Actually, this rings a bell, but go ahead. His name's and I just don't want to dox him because he's a good dude. And actually bleeped that one, Meelan. Yeah. We know how you try to let him sneak through.

Kind of dox our friends. So one time after a Little League game that was an afternoon game, my parents were like, hey, Tim, we're going into Kingston and we're going to have Chinese food at this place. It was called the Kingston Tea Garden or something like that. Kingston's booming. We're getting Chinese for dinner

and I say, hey, can my friend, my teammate, come with me? They're like, yeah. You know, he's short shortstop he was catcher okay okay oh okay i take it back so anyway uh so he comes with us and then we uh we go to this chinese restaurant and we're eating a poopoo platter right which is really fun for kids and uh and and this kid is going to town man he is grabbing the food he's like oliver uh he's like annie he's like either way he's eating and oliver food food glorious food

food glorious food there you go he's eating the crab rangoon he's eating the butterfly shrimp he's eating the egg rolls he's dipping it in the duck sauce. The noodles are going into the hot mustard and he's sucking on his fingers. And he's having the time of his life. And we're like watching it. We're like, wow. And he's like, wow, man, this is so good. I've never been to a restaurant before. And we're like, oh.

And then my parents are like, my mom's like, Oh, you've never been to a Chinese restaurant before. He's like, no, I've never been to a restaurant before. And mind you, this kid, his, his, uh, uh, his parents are professors. They had a beautiful house, but they were an eat at home type of family. Yep. And that's really fun. And we're like, so you, you've never been out to a restaurant. He's like, never been to a restaurant and he loved it. And we finished this meal and he was like wow this was so great um cut to 20 years later i i'm in the uh comedy bang bang on ifc writer's room with hanford and i tell this story and then we're like oh we should look at that kid we should see what he's up to now. Because I hadn't talked to him since then. And so I go on Facebook and I look him up.

And his profile picture on Facebook, he's at a restaurant. He's holding a huge Coke. It's like a giant soft drink. And he's smiling and he's taking a sip. And you started his journey, Tim. I opened up his world to the world of restaurants. Tim, I read an article at one point. And this is like a study that people

have done where they said that adults that report the greatest happiness in their life found a work that is somehow related to the thing that made them happy when they were between eight and 10 years old specifically. Like if there's something that really lit your fire between eight and 10, there's like a really lit your fire between eight and ten there's like a magical window that if you if your employment has something to do with that decades later these are the humans that report the greatest happiness in their lives you might hit them right in the sweet spot i hit him in the sweet spot but what are you doing i'm a goddamn comedy writer i was eight to ten i was that was i was probably watching SNL and saying, Oh.

Oh. I found space most fascinating. It's 8 to 9. And aren't you sort of a hobbyist astronaut on the side? Don't you kind of go there? No, my fucking heads are in the fucking clouds sometimes. He's a space cadet. Earth to Hanford.

We're doing a pod. Earth to Hanford. I hear a lot. And he likes to give people trips to the planetarium that's nice booze you're seeing stars alright folks we're going to make round two of these drinks

we'll see you right back here after a couple more ads oh it's AC time up here too damn I'm making mine on the rocks

okay see ya wow Okay, see ya. Wow. And we're back. Round two of Mudslides. Rocks. Fancy edition. Ooh. Same, except for less Kaloo.

And the, yeah, the vanilla. Sips. Okay. Hmm. Okay, interesting. It's missing something with the more Kahlua. There's like, that had some body to it. It's thicker.

This is different. It's not, it's more more balanced maybe in a bad way it's like it's got less of an identity for me i think you're right jeff i think you're exactly right the identity before was too sweet but at least it was something it's something it's cutting through the noise you know yeah um this on the rocks right now it tastes exactly the same but i feel like when this gets melty that would be my preferred version is a little bit diluted. Well, you like a little clonk, clonk, clonk. Yeah. Listen to this.

Yeah. The foamy, the foamy cube. That's so, why is it that an ice cube in dairy is pleasing to us? But it is, I'm not an ASMR guy, but this really like. Ice cube and liquor though is pleasing to me too just ice cubes i guess true i think yeah asmr is horny though huh people are like it's not a sex thing that's the first thing they say people love it but it's a it's it's it's it's sensual it's sensory and sensual is it not but and there are are ASMRs that are like fully like, I'm your girlfriend putting you to bed.

Like they're the... Wow. Yeah. It's like, get in there deep, Jeff. You might never come out. Drop me a link, dude. I've seen one on YouTube that's like a lady's like fixing your hair, like reaching to the camera like, oh, let me brush it off. Oh.

But... it's like a lady's like fixing your hair like reaching to the camera like oh let me brush but oh this is a strong i don't think it like i see i see what is like comforting about something like that but i will say that the noise the asmr crumple of paper whatever that is i don't really get do you guys get that does that hit, you guys have the frequency for that? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Nice. But you're talking about like you get a little goosebumps when you hear like the nails

tapping on like the keyboard and like those little, those little noises. Yeah. I don't. Me, yes, I do. Wow. So the blood is shooting

to your extremities, Mike, in those cases. Is that good? All the extremities, the hands, the feet. Does it turn you on? Does it turn you on is myities, Mike, in those cases. Is that good? All the extremities. The hands, the feet. Does it turn you on? Does it turn you on is my question, Mike. Jeff. Is it a sexual thing? No, I use it for bed. Confirm or

deny. Okay. Well, it's funny. It's interesting because Mike is also the one who watches pimple popper videos and me and Jeff do not. He's a sick fuck, man. He's a perv. Jeff, you watch him, you said. Tim, your co-host is a perv, dude. Bad news for Tim.

Hold on. Jeff, you also watch the Pimple Popper. Yes, because you got me into him. I learned it watching you. What the hell? One of my favorite Instagram guys is Luke Foods. He's some young guy who sits in his car

and eats fast food is Luke Foods. He's some young guy who sits in his car and eats fast food. Luke Foods. Luke Foods reviews a lot of the chain restaurants we would have talked about on this very pod. And he sits in his car and he eats food and he reviews it. And I love him. He's a very lovable guy. But he also just spun off. He was like, I'm getting a lot of requests for um mukbang and

asmr so i have a separate account for that so when he like you know he'll go to like applebee's or whatever and get a burger and sit in his car and eat it and he'll post his review on one account and then on the other account a super cut of bites and slurps and and i oh i can't to me not to yuck anyone's yums but i i followed that account i was watching and i was like this is just a guy slopping down food and it sounds like yeah the food food asmr i don't think would be good well because it's the very thing that we avoid here like when we eat food, Jeff tells us to lean away from the microphones because we get comments saying it's gross. Yeah, Jeff says a lot of crazy things on this.

Yes, no, it's good policy. But why do the slopheads DM Jeff and say it's gross when, meanwhile, the whole fucking internet wants to hear Luke Foods eat a burrito? You're basically, the listeners who are complaining are driving the show down

you just want to snack on mike and you're no different tim i'm snacking on mike right now i'm i'm eating these shavings i definitely had an ulterior motive last week when we were high and i was saying oh did i happen to bring fritos into the pod? I saw right through your little ruse. Oh, speaking of that, after we drank PBR high seltzers and we were a little bit choked up, we were hanging at Jeff's and we were like, we're going to watch Freddy Got Fingered, which you should subscribe to our Patreon and hear us talk about Freddy Got Fingered. You got to mention the ribs, too.

Now, we had eaten. Jeff had made some delicious ribs that were sent to us by Butcher Box, a wonderful product. And then we ate the ribs, and they were delicious, but it was just barely not enough food. We each had three ribs, and we needed a little more. But we were a little munchy. This is good. So I said, well, we were talking about ordering food, and then I was was like you know what i'm in the mood for is like chain pizza like pizza hut and then yeah we ordered pizza hut and uh i got a supreme pie with a stuffed crust first timer right here then i got a pepperoni

pan pizza and then i got some crazy bread or something. But you hit order on that thing. It's going to take an hour. And then, meanwhile, Duddy has been making some curly fries. Curly fries. Arby's curly fries. Arby's brand. He had them. He had them.

I've hit send on this order. Jeff swoops in with the most delicious big baking sheet of curly fries. We're watching the movie. We're dipping in the ketchup and other dips Jeff has. And we three pretty much get full because at the end of the curly fries,

we've now eaten ribs and curly fries. That's a dinner, right? Don't speak for me when I'm full. I know when I've had my fill. But then I feel like we're pretty much full when this large pizza order arrives. Tim, you don't have unique insight into the stomach of Mike Hanford. I wish I had an ultrasound so I could look in there and see what's going on. You're putting the gel on his stomach when he's watching Freddie got fingered and bringing out

the tools. Either way, there was a lot of pizza left over cause I got us a lot. And then Mike packed it up, brought it back to my place. Mike flew back to New York. Now I find myself with an entire pizza hut pizza in my fridge. I wish I never, I wish I brought that with me as your carry on or check it. No, we put it on the conveyor belt. But I will say this on, on the night, I think I geeked out over the ribs and uh and fries more and and wasn't hungry for the pizza but i gotta tell you i had a whole week of waking up and having one slice of pizza pizza for breakfast every morning nuking up and it kept so well in the fridge and it nuked up pizza normally doesn't because it's not food how pizza is the only pizza on earth that would nuke up well um but i just had the best week of my life eating pizza for breakfast every morning it was so good

it was better that's exciting damn um that was that was my first supreme pizza i remember i took i took a bite and stuffed crust yeah i think i'd had stuffed crust before and i've definitely had pizza pizza hut before i did book it didn't i yeah um yeah you did i got the x-men vhs tapes don't i um but i didn't know that like they were known for pizza was known for its supreme pizza yeah yeah that's a nice big like doughy casserole of a bite you know other places don't call it a supreme right that's a pizza no they say deluxe or whatever their house special is or whatever but taco bell says supreme but it doesn't mean the same thing it's slightly different there's something about like i would never get

excited about a black olive on its own but there's something about a pizza that went that has like the sausage and the green pepper and the black olive and the pepper and you bite into all of it and you say, oh mama. Plus now you're telling me that the crust is stuffed? And the cheese in the crust is so good. It's like polio string cheese. Yeah.

It ain't just stuffed with more crust stuffing. I thought it was undercooked. And I said, I was going to say, guys, guys, the crust is still doughy. The crust isn't a must. And then I noticed there was undercooked. And I said, I was going to say, guys, guys, the crust is still doughy. The crust isn't a must. And then I noticed there was a little zing. And I said, is this fucking cheese? I don't know.

I give Pizza Hut a really good review. And I think as much as we lament that Pizza Hut locations don't exist, like the sit-down version we all love, the pizza has been cheapened and cheapened and shrink, shrink, flated, shrink, flated. Still,

I still love it. There's a butteriness to pizza hut that takes me back in the way. I always say, I wish I had the McDonald's nostalgia that you guys have. I have it for pizza. So it's baked in a buttery, crispy crust. Tim, I have that one too. I have, for Pizza Hut. So it's baked in a buttery, crispy crust. Tim, I have that one too.

I have that. But I have like the Ratatouille food critic moment of taking a bite and being shot back to your child. I'll have the Ratatouille. I miss the aesthetic of the Pizza Hut dining, what, lunch buffet? Yeah, the buffet. When they used kale as a decoration.

Back when you didn't eat kale. You used it as decor. You put it in an Easter basket or something. And at the end of the buffet line, the salad buffet, there was a tub of pudding. A tub of pudding that you'd put on the same plate and it would get into your salad. It also, like, the one i'm thinking

of have had brass rails and so like sort of like wendy's wendy's would have brass rails and stuff and they would have like a um like a greenhouse sloped what i thought it was a fern bar door yeah like they both have like fern bar aesthetics and it's funny you mentioned the the pudding because at my wendy's in kingston the dessert on the buffet there was like a no salad bar that's weird you had a salad bar at a yes we had like a because you know they have potatoes there i think that maybe you could maybe put your own bacon bits and cheese on your potato but there's a salad bar at w Wendy's and the dessert on there was ambrosia. You know, it was like marshmallow fluff that has grapes and it's pink. And so straight that,

that does. It's like when McDonald's and Wendy's, when people refer to them as restaurants, that's like the last bastion of that being a restaurant that I, that I think of as a restaurant as a Greek, it would be cool if I ate ambrosia a lot because that's what, isn't that like what they ate on Mount Olympus? Yeah, it would be cool as a Greek if you did that.

You guys wouldn't understand. We wouldn't mind. There should be a separate little segment of this podcast that's just Greek talk and you guys have to check out for a second. You should do it. That could be another tier. Christos Anestio. Mm-hmm.

Yes. Okay, so I love this drink specifically as an after-dinner sweet drink, like a Brandy Alexander or a Grasshopper. And it did successfully conjure what I wanted, which was the family restaurant. Mom having one of these, not my mom, but somebody's mom having one of these as dessert. It's great. I think you just said grasshopper, Tim.

This would be great with a thin mint or a Oreo crumbled up on top of it. That would be good. This is great. This is an order again for me. And I was going to say, I'm excited to try it like at a restaurant, like at a professional restaurant, but I use top shelf brands here. I use name brand, Kahlua.

They're not going to top that at Applebee's. You're not going to top it. This is it. I don't know what else they can do. I'm happy to hear you say you, I thought you were going to say it was pretty good, but you're not going to order it again because it's so weird and dessert-y. No, I'll order it do. I'm happy to hear you say you. I thought you were going to say it was pretty good, but you're not going to order it again because it's so weird and deserty. No, I'll order it again.

I'm glad to hear that. I'm going to order again as well. And I don't think it's one of the goats or whatever we say. Stone Cold Classic. It's not. It's not. But it's a good. What's the word?

Harbinger of what's to come on the Sloppy Boys podcast. Was it worth Tim's hype? Yes. There you go. Yeah, it was because we'd never had it before. Yeah, it was great. You know what else would be good in this? Go the other way with a put some crushed up Nilla wafers on top.

Oh. Nilla. Nilla wafers go good with banana. We should have banana liqueur, vodka, heavy cream, crush up Nilla wafers on top of that. Hey, Nilla wafers are coming back. It's called the banana boat. I just invented it.

Do you remember Vienna fingers? Not vanilla fingers. Vienna fingers. Lady fingers. Huh? Are they in tiramisu? No. These are cookies. They're a little long.

They're sandwich cookies. Vienna fingers. I think they were by Sunshine. I could be wrong. Or Nabisco. Not to offend Nabisco. Wait, wait, wait. Say it one more time.

I'm Googling it. What is it called? Vienna fingers. They were in like a red blister wrap oh jeff i'm seeing keebler vienna fingers that are like a cream filled it looks like a golden oreo yeah okay i was gonna say i i don't remember this keebler edition i remember like an even older edition that i can't even find oh yeah here it is oh i'm seeing i'm seeing an old version that seems like something you would have at high t in in europe or something yeah the big red box uh the the red one anyway um i missed vienna fingers and then i had a golden oreo and i said they're back they're just circles now

jeff is a big oreo guy he loves lime he loves oreo flavor all the different new oreos he likes them all he was at the Oscar party. He was eating some type of Oreo. It was like a double stuff or something, Jeff? It was like a... Mitch had the dirt pie Oreos. That's what it was. Dirt pie.

Dirt cake. Tim brought the caramel coconut Oreos. Oh, those are bangers. I didn't try those. And listen to this. I brought a big bag of Dots pretzel sticks. And I didn't get the back pats and handshakes that I thought I deserved.

And this was to our friend Mitch's. And then next day I thought, I thought I'd been long forgotten. Yeah. Mitch texts me cat man. I said, yeah, did you,

did you bring the dots pretzel sticks? I said, yeah. He goes, these are so good. And I say, thank you. There you go. And now they got cheese curls with a little seal on them that say certified with the same dust as their pretzel sticks. No way they certified the dust.

I tried to find, first of all, I feel like shit. What are we doing here? We're talking about pizza and chips. Let's get the hell out of here. This is important stuff. Oh shit, this is a long episode. Mitch had me bring fruit. Did no one eat it? No, people nibbled at it, but

you think I'm getting backpacks for fruit? He asked me to buy a veggie tray, which I did. What the fuck, Mitch? You're going to provide a square meal when people visit your house to watch the Oscars? I didn't bring anything. I slipped them a 20. I said, you know I'm good for it. Was it the Oscars

or the Super Bowl? It was the Oscars. I mean, we did both, but Oscars was this one. Anyway, Jeff, it supports your theory. Every new Oreo is very good. That's our show! That's our show! That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys

where we release these recipes at a time. Go to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys and get all that new good stuff we always talk about. This week, it's Freddy Got Fingered. You're going to want to hear about that. It's on Criterion. It's brand new. It's being appreciated for the very first time.

Also on Plex. I'm watching it on Plex. Plex? Oh. And with ads, it's free TV. It's Plex. Right on. Good episode, dudes.

This was a very fun, silly one. Real good. It feels good to be unshackled by the IBA. Me too. No strings attached here on the Sloppy Boys podcast. I'm curious what we're going to do next. But, excuse me, I think for the end of this one. No spoilies, though, right?

No spoilies, but for the end of this episode, let's throw in a song where we mention the word mud. College Night, Harvey Mudd. A college, one of the Claremont Colleges in Pomona, California. Booyah! Here you go, folks. Enjoy. Crank it. And open up the windows. And go under the table and get dreaming,

because it's that type of a song. And anything else to add, Mike? Nope, I'm starting my AC. Okay, bye, folks. Bye, folks. Bye, folks. And Gonzaga! Yeah, Gonzaga! Oh, Gonzaga! Hey, Gonzaga! And also RISD! It's college night, it's college night It's college night out on the quad

It's college night, It's college night It's college night It's college night on every quad Oh but the deans The deans are gone Oh the deans They're gone.

And they're crying, crying, they're gone. To Fire Island, Maine, or Vermont. Island Maine or Vermont They're gone And they're all alone In the summer homes

Until fall semester Cause they couldn't bear it Couldn't bear it Couldn't bear it And they'll never See all those grads Again Never relive

The times that they've had As friends Cause they're gone They're long Gone But that's the life of a teen You gotta touch the teens You say goodbye and then

You know it all again You say goodbye and then You do it all again Here we go It's college night It's college night It's college night Out on the quad It's college night

It's college night It's college night. It's college night. It's college night for everyone. Oh, that valedictorian's up in her dorm kicking herself, man. Oh, she's full of regrets. Oh, but that's what she gets. She should've

gone to wing night. She should've gone to wing night. A dip of celery stick in the blue cheese dip Got that big tech job waiting for her out in the bay, boy Ah, but she never danced, and now she missed the chance What once were ones and twos are now ones and zeros What once were ones and tw twos? And now one's in zeros. What once a one's in twos?

And now one's in zeros. What once a one's in twos? And now one's in zeros. Cash out your meal plan, my baby got time. Cash out your meal plan, my baby got time. Cash out your meal plan, my baby got time. Cash out your meal plan, my baby got time Fill your pockets up with the ketchup

It's college night, it's college night It's college night out on the quad. It's college night. It's college night. It's college night. Oh, Christ. Oh, God. Them townies hoisting each other up that south campus wall. Oh, they just want to peek.

Oh, yeah, they just want to see. Grad night bannersanners flags flying high up until then it's all greek because the town is can't read i'm just keeping out that one man just messing around with that one don't keep my ass man just having a little fun

cause it's two for one two for one two for one soco soco 2 for 1, 2 for 1, 2 for 1, 2 for 1, SoCo, SoCo, 3 for 1, 3 for 1, faux for one, come because they should, come because they should. Faux for one, faux for one, bottles of Dom Perignon, baby. It's cottage night, it's cottage night, it's cottage night out on the quad. It's cottage night, it's cottage night, it's cottage night for Asheroff. Farewell! Reeperdeer's G!

Adios! Adios! Later, dude. Later, dude.