The Sloppy Boys - 183. Rum and Coke Spiced
Episode Date: April 19, 2024The guys put a spin on a classic-- Coca Cola's latest variant boasts "spice" and a hint of raspberry flavor.RUM & COKE SPICED RECIPE: 2oz/60ml RUM4oz/120ml COCA-COLA SPICED Combine ...ingredients in a highball glass filled with ice and stir.Recipe via Mike Hanford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I have to confess, I was very excited to call 911.
Finally, a good one, you know?
And I realize that while what I'm about to say is true,
it sounds suspicious.
So I'm like, my wife fell down the stairs.
From his multiple Netflix specials,
comedian Tom Segura brings his new tour, Come Together,
to Scotiabank Arena, Saturday, September 28th.
Tickets on sale now at Ticketmaster.ca.
Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.
Hi, hi.
And Tim Kalpakis.
What he is up.
Oh, back in the same room once again enjoying each other's company.
Back in L.A.
L.A. Strong.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Trying to get the word out, L.A. Strong.
You gotta make bracelets, man.
What is the New York Strong, L.A. Strong?
Is it or something?
Liv Strong was.
Was the cyclist.
Yeah.
The disgraced cyclist.
Uh-huh.
Former lover of Sheryl Crow.
Yes.
Her music and her personnel.
Armstrong.
Lance Armstrong.
Yeah.
Like Boston Strong was something I think after the bombing, the marathon. Marathon shooting. Lance Armstrong. Yeah. Like Boston Strong was something. I think after the
bombing, the marathon
shooting. Was that Boston Strong?
What about Stiller Strong?
I forget what that is. You know what was
thrilling was one time
back in the day, we were doing
a show at UCB in LA.
UCB Franklin. This is where the pod gets
good. A story from back in the day.
Back in that day.
It's a little bit of retro rewind.
This was a little black box theater, and we're doing a show, and Robin Williams pops in and does the show.
There was an era where there was a summer where he's popping in a lot.
He lived close to there or something?
Yeah.
I think it also came out that he had maybe fallen off the wagon that summer. He needed close to there or something? Yeah. I mean, I think it also kind of came out that he had maybe kind of fallen off the wagon
that summer. Yeah, he needed
some structure or something. But on one
particular night, a show that we were in
the lineup for, he pops in, he's doing
some wacky Robin
I never understood what he was saying. He didn't
really make any sense, but
his little buddy that he brought with him
that was sitting in the front row watching was
Lance Armstrong. Oh, right. Yeah, they had a sitting in the front row watching was Lance Armstrong.
Oh,
right.
Yeah. They had a,
they had a real bromance going there.
So Lance Armstrong has seen the birthday boy sketch group perform.
He's one of the lucky ones.
Cause not everyone has.
I forgot all about that.
Yeah.
Huh?
That's nuts.
I remember one time,
uh,
Christopher guest,
we probably talked about this too.
Christopher guest came into a show.
He was, he was watching the show
before us or something and then stuck around.
It was like, oh man, that guy's
funny. I hope he thinks
I'm funny. There was a show we did up in the
Valley. It was like
one of those weird
friend of a friend shows.
Jimmy Kimmel and
his production staff or his writer's
room came because Kimmel's niece was also or like his writer's room came because
Kimmel's niece was also performing that night and we looked out in the curtain and saw him asleep
in the stands like if you're Kimmel you have a tv show you don't have 12 midnight on a weekday
uh Jimmy Kimmel is a guy I feel like I really uh i've warmed up to him not that i ever disliked
jimmy kimmel but when i was watching him host the oscars this year i was like he has the appropriate
like detachment you know like you never catch him being like oh my god we've got a great show
i would never make fun of another comedian i'm a, so you don't know what I'm saying.
But oh, my God, we've got Reggie Watts is here.
We've got a great show.
My stomach is full of baffles.
I'm a bleep that.
Meehan, bleep that because we don't body shame on the show.
No, we don't.
Could be anyone.
Could be anyone.
That's not true.
I'm not pregnant.
But you know what I mean?
Like the trick to hosting the Oscars is to not revere it.
To not, to just be like, oh yeah, like, hey, here's some big celebrities.
And then that's.
He's a good like comedy first guy, even on his show.
Like he speaks to both sides and people like him.
And he likes to, he he likes to pick on celebrities.
I think that's fun.
Yeah, it's great.
He's fun.
Well, he's been awful to Matt Damon over the years.
That's true.
Will they ever figure that out?
That longstanding feud.
I think even at the Oscars, it ended with a Matt Damon joke or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Too bad for Matt.
Too bad for Ben.
Did I tell you this Instagram video i saw recently where ben talked about the
money he this is my favorite topic in the world he said how much he got paid for uh goodwill hunting
oh right right it was not was it pitifully small well no but but it was um well kind of it was
1996 right or 1998 so so adjust in your head for numbers but Yeah, I'm good at that.
The script fee for Good Will Hunting is $300,000.
He co-wrote the movie with Matt Damon, so they split it.
They each get $150,000.
But also reps and stuff.
Reps.
Agent, manager, lawyer, taxes.
Taxes. You get half of that money.
So he said he got $75,000 and he bought a $56, 000 car oh and then he's like so i'm like the
toast to hollywood and i think i'm not shit but i'd like i'm like i need a job you know
i wonder what car he got to that year like he said it was like a big douchey suv okay it wasn't
like because like well i think i think it was like a luxury suv uh-huh we thought it was like i got
the toyota Corolla that year
and I was feeling good.
Um,
what do we,
how do we feel?
Let me ask you about this shirt.
Look at this shirt.
I have strong,
positive feelings for this shirt.
It's big.
It's blousey.
It's a women's shirt.
It's,
it's tangerine colored,
let's say.
So the buttons are on the lady side?
The buttons are on the lady side,
but I brought,
I bought it for,
uh,
for like a show shirt.
I think that's kind of fun, but it is like like i just was walking around and i caught myself in a full
length mirror and i look like a big bell it's like no people know that that's not your body
shape they know not but also not the body shame that's a body shape but they'll say that's a
funny shaped shirt on a lean man they won't say it's a bell shaped man. Yeah, that's true. But I do like how loose and flowy it is.
It's nice.
When I walked into Jeff's place here,
I looked at you were lounging on the couch and I,
it was like,
you were looking like you were on vacation.
I feel like I'm on vacation.
Um,
do you know why women's buttons are on the other side?
Yes.
Yes.
It's because men used to have people button their stuff for them.
Yes.
And wrap around.
I used to have people, women stuff for them. So the And wrap around. I used to have people button their stuff for them.
So the wealthy dudes still had to do it themselves, huh?
Yeah, the poor, even Louis XIV himself.
Oh, right.
Yeah, okay.
Yes, I get you.
I had to do it in my head.
Also, I was missing a button, too, so if you see a big...
Beep.
...pore hole.
Sometimes, though, you wear a belt the wrong way, and that'll throw you off. You know? Like, if you're wearing a strange belt, let's say you wear a belt the wrong way and that'll throw you off.
You know, like if you're wearing a strange belt, let's say you borrow a belt.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you put it in.
Right.
Cause there's that one, one, uh, a hole that like it all works so well, but you got to
go maybe down a hole.
If it's not your belt, if it's not your belt, sometimes you put on upside down or backwards
and you can't get
the thing off i got a big honking leather belt i want to wear more but it's so stiff but the only
way i can break it in is to wear it but i don't want to wear it it adds two pounds of the pants
i don't want to wear it but i have to wear it in order to break it you can break in the belt
other ways you could beat someone with it.
That's true.
I could just go around.
I could beat my rugs.
Get back here.
Get my dust out of my rugs.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd rather beat rugs than another human.
Fellow humans, Jeff.
Than your fellow man.
You're a humanitarian.
Only in that respect.
In this one regard.
Should we talk about the live shows we have coming up?
Should we mention Chicago, Milwaukee? Should we reminisce about live shows we have coming up? Should we mention Chicago?
Should we reminisce about the ones we've already done?
We should.
What have we got all lost?
We are recording.
I just don't see a timer on the Wii.
No.
Okay.
Do no video this week?
Or say, sorry, folks, late start.
I think I don't like video to begin with.
I think it's well we know what
let's just the wrong tree let's not put it out this week and see if people go nuts
okay you know and let's keep all this in let them let them know sure whatever you want that's
awesome there's a peek behind the curtain and everyone knows that he's fault videos on the
chopping block well it is my fault why but because i didn't press start start recording
this was a harry
getting also i'll say this what's it doing for us half our shit isn't monetizable because we
use people songs and we do mashups even our own stuff gets flagged people don't get to know our
finances but when it's monetized how much do we make off of an episode of the show i'm sure it's
okay so well that's bleeped um but i i'll say this even though you might think i
look fantastic right now you do um i don't really i never i'm not never camera ready you know i'm
not shaved i'm not showered i always feel like shit and then it's like every in my life no bleep
that i don't want to say what night we record okay fun weeps so all one week anybody
want to say their social security number or anything but you know what i mean like in my
normal life i only have to be camera ready like twice a year like i'm going to a wedding or
cast to say one line on a tv show that time yeah that was one of the two times that year
yeah you look great thank you um but the idea
that weekly i have to be camera ready on it sucks bleep that day we don't want to say what day we
record no we will no i don't like people knowing and then uh because then they'll show up to my
house and know that i'm in the back recording and they'll go to the kitchen, help themselves. He's indisposed. He's like, this mortadella is up for grabs.
Cause Tim's recording in the back.
I'm on my tomahawk steak.
Between the hours of PM,
Tim is indisposed.
We're going to bleep all that though.
It's all bleeped.
A one big long minute long bleep.
Um,
we're scrappy pod.
People don't expect us to look like
we're the sloppy boys i think that makes sense right or his counterpart edward cullen edward
cullen we were making we had a joke recently that edward was scared of vampires or something
he read the it was backstage recently he was like uh he read the script for um
twilight and he was like he got on set he's like what we're vampires wait wait wait what was we
were laughing at a vampire thing yeah is that it yeah it was that if we could only remember what
it was that was so funny to us. He was afraid. Sorry, folks.
Okay.
Oh, he wanted garlic repellent.
That's what it was.
He ordered garlic repellent.
Because garlic repels vampires, so he figured he needed garlic repellent.
So many repellents.
I said that, and that's not what I intended, but that is good logic.
That's funnier logic.
Mine was just, I wanted, I should have said vampire repellent.
Vampire repellent.
I should have said that.
But, heavy accent, now it's funny.
Hey, a little free punch up.
Yeah.
That ain't bad.
You know what's funny is, when you said repellent, you weren't trying to necessarily make a Batman reference.
You were just talking about garlic and vampires.
But, in the Adam West Batman movie, he's getting, there's a shark getting him and he's like robin
give me the shark repellent and and that's something i rented that vhs tape when i was
like five and i watched it and i didn't get that that was joke and i was like okay good
and then but like at like 10 years old i was like shark repellent
like in the back of the car like shark repellent man that bomb joke
is the funniest shit ever oh he's running around with the bomb yeah and he's like trying to find
a place to ditch this like comically large bomb and it's like a group of nuns a group of kids
like and then uh so he runs through like five different options and then keeps going and he's
back to the beginning again it's like the nuns again or something i forget what he ends up doing like throwing it over i don't remember i i
saw that movie so long like as a kid i don't remember any of it but i do know it's funny
it's very naked gunnish that moment yeah that's a show i want to watch too uh the naked gun show
i've seen the movie too movies too movies uh police squad right police squad naked gun from
the files of police squad ah what does naked gun
refer to it's just a funny phrase i don't know maybe it's like a maybe it's like i think it's
it's like a parody of those like erotic thrillers like uh indecent proposal and stuff like that
it would have been before indeed i think yeah because it's like 86.
Okay.
What are those other ones, though? There's Indecent Fatal Attraction. Basic.
Basic Instinct. Basic Instinct, I mean.
Those are fun movies. Basic.
That's a show about me.
Basic. From the makers
of Mid.
We stay in Mid.
Hmm. Well, is that enough shit chat?
No, we were gonna
reminisce about shows
past which is not
necessary
and then promote
shows future
yeah we've had some
really good shows
recently
yeah thanks to
everyone who came
out to the LA show
LA shows we had two
yeah
we played on the
Sunset Strip
secret show
a secret show
at the Rainbow Bar
and Grill
secret warm up show
Irrelevant Elephants
asked us to basically
open for them
they will too by the way because one of those
dudes zach bartended your birthday jeff and we befriended him and then what was the best about
this show was we're fucking where's hey before the show where's our green room where's our backstage
where do we hang out we get the nook the very spot where where Alice Cooper, Mickey Dolan, John Lennon, Ringo Starr, Harry Wilson.
You should.
Yeah.
These guys used to hang and drink up there.
Keith Moon.
Keith Moon.
I should tell John Lennon about it.
Keith Moon was in that group too, yeah.
But I felt very cool waiting to play a set while sitting in that
most historic of rooms tiny it's like you have to like duck in to get in there you still the
instruments in there and sometimes you see a giant cockroach oh jeff wow that was a big boy
that was big that was funny you guys were like careful tim we saw a cockroach and i i was like
oh boy and you're like you can see his body right there.
So he was, he was still there, but you guys had killed him, but he was just still sitting
there.
Yeah.
I read it.
Cause he was closest to, I was like, you got to stop that thing.
And he did a little bit.
And I was like, it's still, that was a double stop.
Yeah.
It was huge.
But, um, I watched a feature length documentary about the rainbow that day.
It's on YouTube.
Ah.
And there's all this uh you know it's
lemmy from motorhead most famously hung out there like every day he'd sit at the end of the bar
and play video poker um and yeah they've got they've got like a statue of him and the patio
and then on tvs and stuff there was just like a uh lemmy video montage montage that'd be funny
if that's a fellow gamer well i wonder if that montage was playing while he was there um but then what uh john belushi ate his last meal there
lentil soup joe dimaggio met uh marilyn monroe there uh jonesy from the sex pistols said that
he got a blow job under every table there under every oh i get the person other person was on the table not him no he would go under the table focus oh god i was thinking like
two people going under a table to you know explore explore each other's sexuality you
had a surprise one in that in that list on stage you said that's where Dr. Dre saw Eminem.
Oh, signed him.
Yes.
Signed him or saw him?
Discovered him.
Discovered.
I think he signed his body.
He wrote Dr. Dre in his arm.
Can I get your autograph?
Wait, he saw him perform?
According to this documentary, Dr. Dre saw Eminem there.
Funny little space that was where we're in it was it was
hey can i see they never had a never had a stay a real stage there no because it wasn't famous in
this documentary they weren't saying like this is a famous music venue they're saying this is a
famous restaurant and all the music happened at the roxy and the whiskey and the viper room yeah
man that's funny though though. Remember that?
There's that building that looks like a house across the street and a little bit closer to us.
It used to be called the Red Room or the Red.
Oh, yeah. Are you familiar with this?
Red Rocks?
Not Red Rocks.
That's the amphitheater.
But it was.
Maybe Red Rock.
Red Rock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where we saw Papa Roach.
We went there one time was that the same time where
we tried to go upstairs and we couldn't go up there because dr dre and his entourage were up
there oh so that's funny that dr dre at least twice yeah you don't think of that being like a
hip-hop producer stomping around you think of it being a uh maybe it's just a music like that the
sunset strip is just like if you make music i would also say that dr dre is like out of touch like he's not an indie sleaze
guy right um but i would say dr did you watch defiant ones it's like he hangs out at his
mansion in malibu yes and he's from south central he's out of touch in a billionaire way right like
he's not just a door no but you're
saying like the bar that he hangs out yeah you don't like you you wouldn't have been like oh
yeah why is he not like at fuck the shortstop or something oh yeah right where mark furman hung out
is i wonder what dr dre's favorite band is like rock me who's listening to nirvana and the defiant ones ah
rappers love nirvana i always long before like grunge came back always rappers are like
kurt cobain interesting maybe because he told like it is he's a bad boy because he's cool
he's cool yeah he's cool oh i just watched did i talk about this last podcast i just watched uh
nirvana live at the paramount
i forget what it is it was a bunch of clips i saw on youtube but it was a really cool i think it's
a feature like a concert movie from them but uh it looks so cool it's just like kind of like the
lodge room it was like a stage uh that looked like kind of wood flooring and uh just a bunch
of people out there everyone going nuts like a small space too so people a smallish space so
people could really feel
intimate. Love the lodge room, by the way.
Yeah, love the lodge room. I mean, it's funny to go
from like the more storied
Sunset Strip to the lodge room,
which is like, you know, Highland Park. It's a Masonic
lodge that's got stories of its own.
Stories of its own. But not.
You know, this is one where they're mic'ing the
kick drum and there's subwoofers under the
stage. Show's show business.
They got a crew helping you.
They got a nice big crew.
Really nice.
The mixers are so pro and great.
The mixers are mixing.
Can I say something about Red Rock for once?
Yes.
Yes.
I don't know if you guys were with me.
I think you were.
Standing on the sidewalk out front, we sawacoby shattuck's aka kobe dick
from papa roach and uh he took his dick out and he was like waggling it around i don't remember
that he was like show showing off and trying to be funny and then also that same night i want to say
we had a friend named from ithaca and he got punched and he got in a fight with someone
and yeah i got punched and like that scary
thing of like falling back and hitting your head
he hit his head and his head bled out
onto the sidewalk
he was ultimately fine but I think
that type of stuff I hate those types of things
where it's like oh yeah he got in a bar fight
got hit wrong and now he's like paralyzed
oh you hate that?
I hate that
but I didn't realize
I never asked your pet PA now he's like paralyzed oh you hate that but i didn't realize i never had stories like these
guys i never asked your pet p.s it just goes to show you that the human life can be so fragile
that's what hanford's don'ts yeah don't mess with anybody when you're out yeah don't get involved in
a fight don't fight i was there that night unless you guys went to the red rock a lot
no no it was the one time right that was the one time okay yeah now it's
called like le petit yeah they had a new name it was petite maison i do like those places i like
that place and uh uh rainbow we say in rainbow room because that's rainbow new york is it's
called the rainbow bar and grill i think you could just say the rainbow the rainbow okay
uh it's cool it's like familiar with it yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm at the rainbow.
No, I like those bars that are like old houses.
Yes.
Because the rainbow had so many like different stairways all around.
It felt really good.
Oh, yeah.
It's a real maze of like split levels and stuff.
And you really feel like you're in a weird dream because the people you're seeing are frozen in time.
And you'll see some girl.
You're like, well, she's from 1986 because she's got the teased bangs.
And she's wearing sunset strip hair metal era clothes.
But you're like, but she's like 20 years old.
So she wasn't around.
I'm doing the math and I don't think she was around.
This was the major observation from our episode of the Sloppy Boys blowout where we just kind of toured the strip yes carousing mm-hmm and chicken and I saw people you
know hustling down the street with instrument cases who looked like they
were from 79 right an aesthetic that has persevered in that one area yeah I guess
if you're that type of person all over the world you move to the Sunset Strip
to beat to find your people but your bandanas around your neck and your knee but it's funny what your brain does is when you see something
like that like like the dudes in the bands or the groupie girls with them you for a second my brain
is like oh they're cool but then you're like no they're actually like huge dorks like what's
dorkier than picking what are you talking about you talking about? Because it's like, I mean, I like it.
It's a little cosplay-ish.
But it is like, yeah, like it's just that they're choosing like, I think I kind of want to be like this.
Is that okay?
You know?
It's like if you see goth people, you know, in goth attire, it almost seems like the same thing.
I mean, it's kind of very similar music, but it's like, yeah, cosplaying like like a different look like a non-normal look and
i mean i i think when i see a goth i do think that's a dork like i'm rarely like i don't know
man i mean i don't know the gods you're seeing man there's a lot of overlap between goths and
dorks but i think there's some cool looking goths for sure for sure but uh that's a timeless
uh i don't know when it started when you get elf ears, that's where I start to check out.
Oh, yeah.
That's where I hop on.
That's where Tim checks in.
That's where I hop it on.
That's where Dunstan checks in.
I said, that's where Dunstan checks in.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
That monkey, that orangutan who ran the hotel.
We had a joke about Dunstan in the comedy bang bang writers room
it was about dunstan checks out or i don't know i don't know uh i was i just heard a funny little
quote on instagram or tiktok or something uh somebody was like it's my theory that all
goths no all metalheads are nice people.
Nice people.
Sorry.
What is it?
So I'm online, right?
Yeah.
Logging on. I'm scrolling.
Metalheads are nice people cosplaying as metalheads,
and hippies are mean people cosplaying as hippies.
Interesting.
I thought, oh, that's not so.
The metalheads I've met have been very nice, and I've met some shitty hippies. Interesting. I thought, oh, that's not so, the metalheads I've met have been very nice
and I've met some shitty hippies.
That's true.
The goths are outwardly scary, huh?
But they are often tortured souls inside.
I don't, yeah.
What do you mean by goth?
Just like sensitive folks who like are,
they have like a sort of a porcupine approach to life
where they're like,
they're like,
just to protect themselves.
They look a little scary.
Right.
Stay away from me.
Yeah.
I'll only get hurt by you.
I tried to pivot to the lodge room and we pivoted right back to the sunset strip.
Whoops.
Pitch it to the lodge room.
Do we talk about a lot?
We just play with don't stop or we'll die in Lamar woods.
And we rocked it.
It was great. Rip. So our words crushed woods crushed we crushed i played a solo with lamar
that was awesome that was cool it was lamar woods phil jackson and uh you know microphones and then
carl tart was dj um djing yeah i guess on the ones and twos yeah and twos carl took dj classes
he's a legit dj that sounds weird to me to say DJing a concert because I always think of DJs
just like dance music.
Like sure.
Something people dance to.
Three MCs and one DJ.
Right,
right,
right,
right.
Yeah.
What do you think of that?
Yeah.
What's your thoughts?
Uh,
not my favorite of the beastie boys songs.
Whoa.
Hope Mark's not listening.
Shit.
Was he on that?
No.
What if we've had a,
what if we found out that money mark is a huge
fan of the podcast and listens every week and subscribes to the patreon i'd like that i would
like that tell your friends let's talk about the new stuff what's coming out what's coming to
a theater near you uh well sweat and beers we we already did our online watch party of the movie
blood sweat and beers yes uh which is a documentary about us making the album sonic ranch We already did our online watch party of the movie Blood, Sweat, and Beers. Yes.
Which is a documentary about us making the album Sonic Ranch.
So a lot of people have now witnessed it on their computer.
But what you're going to want to do is first.
First and foremost.
First and foremost, come see us play live shows in Chicago at Beat Kitchen and live shows in Milwaukee at Cactus Club.
Second show at a Cactus Club, by the way.
Yes, second show at Beat Kitchen in Chicago as well.
Yes.
But then April 9th at the Chelsea Music Hall in Manhattan.
May 9th.
May 9th.
What did I say?
April.
You know I meant May.
Come see the movie.
We're going to be there with the director and we're going to do a Q&A type stuff and
have a fun night at the Chelsea Music Hall.
May 9th.
Then the very next night in Brooklyn at Littlefield, we're playing a huge fat set.
The longest set we've ever played.
We're playing two sets.
We're playing two sets.
We're taking a break in the middle. It's an all night thrill.
Yeah. No opening band.
It's us, baby. They asked us, do you want a local
opener? And we said, we'll open
for ourselves. We're local as hell.
We'll do it. And
then...
Yes, the 11th. The very
next day, we're going to be up in Westerly,
Rhode Island, playing the alternative
comedy festival with Big Grande. That's funny going to be up in westerly Rhode Island playing the alternative comedy
festival with big grande.
That's funny.
That is up in.
I thought I'm thinking of Rhode Island is under Manhattan.
You're right.
No, it's up.
It's up.
It's up.
Up and over.
Up past Connecticut.
You're away to Massachusetts.
With big grande.
You love big grande.
We know that.
And then the very next day, we're going to do a movie screening there.
Also at the United Theater.
Mother's Day.
Maybe you bring mom.
Maybe mom wants to see.
Give her a little brunch on the way and the car ride over.
Then spend the whole next week with your mom, but get out to Pennsylvania, folks, because May 24th.
Yes.
We're playing at Bottle Rocket
Social Hall
In Pittsburgh
In Pittsburgh
That's a good place
That's going to be a super fun one
And that's what I told you about
The
I had played a
Stand up show there
And the owner
Or the guy who runs the
Yeah I guess owner
Texted me
He was like
Hey any
Any thoughts
Maybe having the Sloppy Boys
Do a show here
Somebody in the supermarket
Just said to me
Hey when are you
Going to book the Sloppy Boys Wow He texted here? Somebody in the supermarket just said to me, hey, when are you going to book the Sloppy Boys?
Wow. He always goes to the supermarket
for his booking ideas.
What are people listening to?
They're playing Eve 6
on the radio. I'm going to book them.
I guess this guy can't walk down the street anymore
with people yelling at him
about the Sloppy Boys.
The next day,
May 25th, Philadelphia. may saturday may 25th
at philomoka we are doing a screening q a type of vibe of the movie but then we're also playing a
big fat show there wow now that screening sold out so fast but then there's more tickets you
could buy just to come in they'll move about the chairs and fit a few more people in for the rock show. Right.
But then let's say you didn't get to
see the movie. Then I'll be sad
only for that one night because the next day
there's a matinee to come see the movie. We'll be there
again. Sunday, May 26th
to Philomoco. Wow.
And then we're done for a while and I can relax.
We can rest up,
write another, write and record a new album,
make a documentary about that, roll it out next year.
This is a lot of stuff.
I can't actually think of another podcast that has so much quite going on in their lives.
Or band.
No, and yeah.
And also a lot of podcasts, like even just the podcast itself is bad.
So if you take the fact that we have a good podcast,
and then we're a band that recently came out with an album.
And the band's even better than that.
It's dropping videos and stuff.
And then we're playing live shows, but then we also have a movie coming out.
It's sort of like a groovement.
That's right.
The pod's even a groovement.
The pod's a groovement.
The pod is more of a advertisement for the live stuff.
And the blowout.
Sure. Yeah. The way that Marvel movies are just advertisements for the live stuff. And the blowout. Sure, yeah.
The way that Marvel movies are just advertisements for the rides.
Yeah, you actually lose money.
It's a loss leader, but it gets people in the door.
So maybe Walmart will sell a new movie for like $8.99,
but it gets you in the door and then you buy $200 worth of stuff.
Worth of movies.
We should change the name of this podcast to Lost Leader.
All right. Should we get into Booze News? good i just said oh you're gonna get to that quiz let me say something
oppressed meat bits that's like what it is
should we split a um nitrous pop pop I hate those characters in movies
that are like
I just said
let me say something
it's booze news you
nitrous pop
um
um good one
that was
that was meat bits That was That was Meat Bits
Sent to us by
Alan Press
And if you have a
Booze News theme
Email it to the
Sloppy Boys Podcast
At gmail.com
When you said
Oppressed
Did you mean processed?
Probably
We were high right?
I
Yeah
Probably That was the THc was it the thc
who was that adam press we haven't heard from him press i'm impressed
yeah i've never heard that he's on the scene right on press man watch your ass kanger we
don't know it's a person it could be like alan press like it's a uh a firm oh yeah
a whole a whole legion of people it's a firm. Oh, yeah. A whole legion of people.
It's a print media outlet.
It's owned by Rupert Murdoch.
Alan!
You have a press.
Better than that Gutenberg press.
This guy, this is one of the guys who watches
Secession and says, that's how I would be like
that. Yeah. Secession or Succession?
Secession.
Put down secession.
Every day I put on HBO
and I watch secession.
HBO.
HBO sucks.
They got secession.
It's cheaper
than HBO.
Sopranos.
Anchorage. Anchorage.
Anchorage.
Anchorage.
Well, that's a sketch and we'll show it.
Okay, do you want to hear some booze news?
Yes.
Yeah, I think it's about time.
I would. This was
shared with me by my sister of all people.
Hey!
Nice.
Lele Kay.
Yeah.
Who's got a cookbook coming out, by the way.
That's exciting.
Out there.
It's a book about small kitchen cooking.
Nice.
Let's see your camper life off the grid type of person.
Clear a space in your kitchen for this book, folks.
She's got drinks in there.
She's got an Amaro Spritz, the batch.
You know, if you're camping.
Yeah.
We should have a book. She, absolutely. All right, we can take this out if we don't want to talk too much about her
but built a house yes built her own she and her boyfriend built on her own house first
and also before they even could get to that point to build the house they bought like a 70s winnebago
camper and renovated that so that i would have some place to live while building the house, they bought like a 70s Winnebago camper and renovated that so they would have some place to live
while building the house.
This is like their big COVID project.
Damn, this is their big COVID project.
Two living spaces.
Living spaces.
Anyway, she brought this to my attention, which was,
do you guys follow Britney Spears on Instagram?
No, but I see some of the things.
A lot of people are obsessed with her.
You saw the knife dance.
Well, you remember the whole Britney thing.
People theorized that she was being suppressed.
Yes.
And oppressed.
From her father.
And like, you know,
truthers were like dissecting every little eye movement for like,
she needs help and all this stuff.
This was back during the conservatorship?
Pre-conservatorship. And then it all came to light that it was like true not not that not that every
little eye twitch was a cry for oh yeah but that yes something was wrong and that it did kind of
blossom into this whole uh releasing her of the conservatorship crazy so yeah sorry um britney on
insta i when she got out of her conservatorship, apparently she had celebrated with a glass of champagne.
She broke her sobriety.
Nothing wrong with it.
Oh, well.
Okay.
But anyway, more recently, there was some weird stuff happening on her.
You know, you always hear, I've heard rumors about stuff with her,
but she had some cryptic kind of posts
about like people, you know,
like people trying to control her or whatever.
And then she like deactivated.
And I think as of now,
as of the taping of this pod,
she is deactivated from Instagram.
But in the mix,
there were some weird posts,
but there was one post
where she, the caption was,
everything is totally fine.
And then the monkey covering his eyes face, everything's totally fine.
But the picture is a little bottle of Vouv Clicquot champagne and a little bottle of Tahin.
And also, does it look like there's ice in her champagne flute uh yeah looks like it yeah that's not as weird as uh tahini next to your voove though
now is the team tahini going into the yeah that is what's the plan here britney it looks posed
as if she's telling the world that there's a new drinking town that's dashing maybe she dashes a
little tahini in there yeah like i'm zooming in on her champagne
flute and it doesn't look very tanned but that's my interpretation is the uh the britney is a
champagne person but so that she now drinks champagne with tahini in it mike you put tahini
rim on your tahini tahini we've covered a lot of tahini uh there was that that that hip-hop song that i brought in
it's the year of tahini going in the drinks folks there was the tiktok trend uh there's
tahini on the rim tahini tahini it's here to stay folks here to stay now damn yeah it does seem like
you know it's not gonna be like drink of the summer but we could we could maybe call it like
you know,
it's not going to be like drink of the summer,
but we can,
we can maybe call it like ingredient of the summer.
Garnish of the summer.
Oh yeah.
Yeah. Like salt of the summer,
even red,
red salt of the summer,
red salt of the summer.
Cause there was a Himalayan salt summer at one point.
I was going to say it might be spice of the summer,
but I think that's going to go to dune too.
Oh yeah.
It could be a spice.
I mean,
it could be a movie.
Um, I haven't watched this spices like they're like unobtainium or like uh yeah basically yeah arachis is spice and also fuel stuff i think
it's a precious mineral it enables hyperspace travel it also uh it enables people to like
meditate really deeply is that what the fremen are all about yeah it's like so it's like a
spiritual thing and it's also enables like hyperspace
travels.
I enjoyed that movie.
I enjoyed.
Yeah.
But let's talk about the popcorn container.
That to me was a little heavy.
Yeah.
What was that?
Was it just big?
It was like the sandworm.
No.
Like a fleshlight.
Oh.
Like a big nasty sci-fi fleshlight.
I ain't putting my hand in that thing,
man.
I don't know,
man.
Are people going to be putting teens on a petite teen in their batangas at this point
but see you can't just put teen on anything it's i don't think it's welcome just anywhere
i wouldn't put it in champagne that's fucked up yeah that sounds weird that's that's like one of
the weirdest ones yeah it might just be one of those things you know like sometimes when people
say like oh i like chocolate with a little salt on it. When I first heard that, I was like, what the hell?
Yeah.
I don't particularly like it, but I can see maybe the teen just does something.
Here's what's really interesting.
You put OG and champagne into mimosa.
I could imagine a mimosa rimmed with tahini.
Okay.
Kind of.
But then the orange because of the citrus.
Right.
Now I'm back on board.
Now it's bringing it into Michelada territory sort of-ish.
I have a feeling tahini could also go very well into a bloody.
Oh, yes.
That might be nice.
Oh, yeah.
I've seen that.
Well, we got some big plans for next week.
Yeah, big time.
I mean, you know, I'm excited for the drink of the day this week.
I'm also excited because it's Jeffy's time to shine next week.
Next week.
I think finally, at long last last I've gathered up enough dust.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's all I'll say.
Damn.
That's all I'll say.
He's gathered enough dust?
Mm-hmm.
Done dust?
Imagine gathering dust to be a positive thing.
What is that supposed to mean?
I know.
That's nice.
Normally you don't want to be gathering dust.
Maybe it's just that you're saying it about someone who's just sitting on the sidelines,
you know?
Yeah.
But this guy's been in the test kitchen gathering dust.
Okay.
Wrap it up.
All right.
So today's the day.
I've got a, I told you guys this for a couple of weeks.
I had a, an idea for a drink.
Did it go in the test kitchen?
No.
I don't know what it's going to taste like.
No.
I have not tasted this.
Tim is so on me about doing the test kitchen for the next episode.
You reveal too much to Tim.
Don't tell Tim what you're up to.
You bring it here without a test kitchen?
We went through this with the grimace piss.
That's how confident i am
and here's the thing i'm gonna reveal in just a second but i've gotta move over
before i do this is a totally different story from last time i'm gonna tell you this
what's a totally different story grimace piss oh yes yeah that was
i've come around that was a mess that was somewhat of a mess. You posted your L.
This is a product that came out, just came out, a new version of a product on February 19th.
Wow.
So let me get over there.
I'll reveal. It's too late for Valentine's Day.
I'm not thinking hearts.
I'm not thinking chocolates.
But it is interesting that you brought up, we were talking about Tahim, yes?
Yes.
Hold on, Mike.
I'm going gonna get the
camera ready we gotta monetize everything around here jesus christ today we are having something
hold on wait wait before you do guys there's like uh just for listeners to picture there's there's
like a stump there's like a little coffee table drum type of side table step side table and then
on top of that mike has put put an upside down grocery bag.
A Trader Joe's brown paper bag.
A wrinkly brown bag on top.
And it looks, it's like the sheath, it's like he's like a magician about to pull the sheath off of a bird cage.
Well, that wouldn't be what a magician is.
If there's a rabbit under here, I'm dead meat.
Right.
Okay, so we are going to try, make and try tonight.
The rum and spiced Coke.
Coke spiced.
Oh, my God.
Spiced Coca-Cola. And the word spice was just being thrown around and you zipped the lip.
That's what I'm saying.
I have not had Coke spice.
I had the one that they came out with like a couple years ago that was like
starlight or whatever yeah yeah and it tasted like cotton candy weird yeah they had a few other ones
they had like something called movement too like coke movement they had something that uh i guess
flavors don't have to be based on anything anymore in 2024 like celsius does this too my beloved
celsius it's the new red Bull to me. They have one called
they throw on the word vibe a lot
because they're Gen Z. So it'll be like peach
vibe. I mean, you know that's peach.
It's not peach taste, it's just peach vibe.
But it actually tastes very
peach like. But there's one called Arctic
vibe. Maybe it's nectarine.
Furry nectarine. But there's
one called Arctic vibe that is just like blue
and it tastes like blue gatorade and
it's and it's all right oh like that's what arctic right or no they own power right sorry oh i don't
know but um powerade owns gatorade anyway there's also they they throw around like tropical vibe
arctic vibe galaxy vibe this is the way coke does like yeah this one's um starlight flavored yeah
there was another one i forget what it was called uh it may be called transition but it was uh you know the
the pop singer uh uh rosalia she's no she's dating the dude from the bear uh oh yeah yeah she they
had a a collab with her and i think it was called transition and the description of it was like
it sort of like changes the the taste changes in your mouth a little bit
or something i had this one and i didn't know that was the concept i drank it and i just thought it
was like really sweet okay that's such a bizarre thing to try and do like you're trying to mass
produce basically like a trinidad sour or something right pinging and banging um but this what i read
i haven't tried one of these coke spice coca-cola spiced yet and you got some fresh we have three
let's before we
go to make the drink let's each take a sip and just see what that tastes yeah let's do that but
um that came uh uh oh so it tastes apparently it tastes like raspberry coke with like a little bit
of spice to it oh i have heard this it's raspberry four yeah and the thing that's funny is that was like the you know the coke freestyle
machines yeah those were just gathering information oh no whoa what's going on out there
they're just starting to figure out paying us yeah that's that's what this one article said
i'm gonna go with it people were hitting the raspberry i guess so yeah the people were liking
i never once hit that raspberry button.
I'm a vanilla guy from way back.
Me, I don't.
I just want straight up Coke or cherry.
I don't do the rest.
Well, cherry.
Or Sprite.
Cherry.
You got to give it to cherry.
You got to give it.
You got to give it.
Here's an interesting thing.
Coke spiced, right?
Is it spiced or spiced?
Spiced.
Spiced. Yeah. Past tense. The Coke's been spiced, right? Is it spiced or spiced? Spiced. Spiced.
Past tense.
The Coke's been spiced.
What are the two ingredients of a Calpe Cordial?
Cherry Coke and spiced rum.
So let's say you make a Calpe Cordial with this stuff.
It's spiced and spiced.
Interesting.
You go up to a bartender,
can I get a spiced and spiced?
Can I get a spiced and spiced?
Spiced and spiced.
Well, here's what we're going to do to make it.
We're doing.
Yeah. What's the official recipe?
Calpy Cordial.
My shirt says Calpy Cordial.
My family gave me this.
That's a nice crest.
Yeah.
A crest on the shirt breast.
Yeah.
Continue.
This is going to be, yeah, it's basically, we're just going to do rum and Coke.
Great.
So it's going to be two ounces of what I bought.
Bacardi white rum.
Great.
You bought that?
Well, I have one that I have in the freezer.
And then.
Top up?
Yeah.
Ice, two ounces of Bacardi top up with Coke.
Lime option.
I'm taking it.
Lime option.
I'm not going to take it until I've, you know.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm going to go wedge and then I'm going to squeeze.
Yeah.
That's good.
Well, that's a spiced Cuba Libre.
That's okay, though.
It's a rumbatanga with spiced Coke.
Rumbatanga.
I got a spiced and spiced rumbatanga.
I won't take the lime option. And I'm saying it could be either a highball glass or a shorty rocks glass.
What do you have here, Jeff?
I got all that.
Okay.
Can I say something really quick?
Yeah.
Looking at Tim, he looks like Wilson from Home Improvement to me.
My computer's blocking me.
Yeah, I'm seeing the bridge of his nose up.
Do I spell wisdoms
um we recently uh uh you know uh went to see bruce springsteen and we'll talk we we would that
is for patreon that's the blow subscribers to hear us talk about that but one funny fact is
uh on that night we met at my place and i made us some batangas then the next night we were at
that rainbow show my friend tristan was in town and he had been he had had a batanga at my place
and when we were at the bar i was like tristan let me get you a drink and i said i'll have a
jack and coke to the bartender i say tristan what do you want and he goes tequila coke
he got a batanga wow Because he had gotten one before.
Because he was going to eat part of the taste for it.
Wow.
Did that bartender know the word?
I said tequila Coke, and then she didn't say, oh, a Batonga?
I was hoping for, oh, a Batonga?
I had a little trouble with the upstairs bartender.
Yeah.
At one point, I was like, do you have any 16-ounce beers?
She was like, no.
I was like, what beers do you have?
Because she didn't have a list or anything.
And she opened up the cooler, and she she had uh several different types of 16 ounce beers 16 i
can picture 22 ounces that's the thing a tall boy's 22 no 16 is like uh isn't that 16 oh yeah
i guess like the big highlifes yeah yeah one of those but i had a beer that was um a uh uh iron
maiden style beer oh Oh, sure.
Well, you guys want to take some sips?
Yeah, let's take a sip of that spiced and then make up the Bacardi.
Let's see if the spiced is nice. Yes.
Timmy?
Thank you.
How come you guys are smarter than I am?
How come we...
This is just a drink that you...
When you make a rum and coke, you just kind of stir it up right
why don't you shake a drink like that
it's just not necessary
oh of course
I saw another TikTok thing
hmm
interesting
okay
it is very raspberry-y.
I'm not getting any spice.
It tastes like something else to me.
Another nostalgic taste that is bringing me back to...
The article I read that was describing it said,
a lot of people said Robitussin cough syrup.
I'm thinking of something that would bring me joy, though.
You mean losing that...
That racking cough is
about robo tripping man well we should talk about that sometime too i think it's a little spice
something like i not cinnamon clove but there's something doing that to my mouth a little bit
it doesn't taste like a coke to me really you know what no i am raspberry mainly and good raspberry
not like fake raspberry like i feel like like the taste of a good fresh raspberry.
And then my breath after, I feel like a little like all spice.
Yeah.
Like I had some Jamaican jerk chicken or something.
This is like holiday-ish.
Yeah.
This feels weird to debut come summer.
It's very sweet.
Or in the spring.
I guess raspberry.
I gotta stop drinking so much of this.
Raspberry, I'm so good.
It's interesting.
I love it.
All right.
Great.
Let's get in there and start mixing these up.
I like it.
And then these suckers can listen to the ads.
Fools.
This would be a good time for them to do that.
Foolish all.
Okay, folks, we'll see you right back here after this.
I have to confess, I was very excited to call 911.
Finally, a good one, you know?
And I realize that while what I'm about to say is true,
it sounds suspicious.
So I'm like, my wife fell down the stairs.
From his multiple Netflix specials,
comedian Tom Segura brings his new tour,
Come Together, to Scotiabank Arena,
Saturday, September 28th. Tickets on sale now at ticketmaster.ca
and we're back rum and Coke spiced in hand.
Rum and Coke spiced.
Rum and Coke spiced.
Spiced and spiced.
Now, I did look up, like, if this is, I'm sure anyone could put this together and probably has in the last two months.
But I only saw recipes for spiced rum and Coke and not rum and Coke spiced.
Rum and Coke spiced.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Bottoms up.
Mmm. rum and coke spiced here we go bottoms up aromatic already hitting the nose
on that first sip
hey that's not bad
what the fuck does this remind me of
it's driving me crazy
I didn't think it was going to come through
I'm getting still the raspberry
even with the rum
that's not bad
I think it brought out the flavor
it kind of like tamped it down or something no no not tamped Yeah, that's not bad. I think it brought out the flavor.
It kind of like tamped it down or something.
Like the vodka kind of... No, no, no, not tamped.
It brought it out.
It brought out something else.
A third thing.
Guys, you know what's appropriate?
What?
What season is this?
Spring.
Springtime.
Is springtime not bramble season?
Is not time for bramble ramble?
Are we not having a raspberry Is springtime not bramble season? Is not time for bramble ramble? And are we not having a raspberry tasting springtime?
That must have just been in my bones, ingrained in my bones.
Yeah, the human body needs raspberry.
It's time of year.
So you could have a Popo Nono on your hands.
Oh.
You get yourself a 20 ounce bottle of, is that 20 ounce or is that 16 those
big coke bottles that i think is 20 take a glug out of there then pour your uh bacardi nip in
there you're walking around one of these a-cab cops guys tries to fuck with you and you gun them
down don't do that don't do that and then tell you that our podcast don't do that Don't do that. Guys, don't do that and then tell you that our podcast
Don't do that.
Don't do that. Jeez, Louis.
We do shoot cops around here, though, at the Sloppy Boys LLC.
I know, but he hit pause right after the tip.
On sight.
Our thing is more that, like, yeah, it should be more like
haha, you're getting away with something.
It's a little bit of a crime to have a drink
and the cop didn't arrest you.
You don't have to murder the guy no this
glass you you poured me this this is an old-fashioned glass but a lot of my old-fashioned
glasses are like double old-fashioned this is like a single lowball glass which is beautiful
jeff this is yours yeah you can get those at ikea my man beautiful classic cup i bet they're cheap
is that like a dollar yes great um now mike makes this up for me and you
know what it reminded me of is in risky business yes uh is uh tom cruise makes it's like my parents
are out of town i'm making myself a drink so he he makes himself like a is it a rum and tab
i think it's a tab yeah i think but he the joke is that he fills it all the way up with rum and
then drop of tab.
I remember it's very pleasant glass to look at, and this gave me a flash of that.
I just really like a – oh, I think it's a whiskey tab.
I think it's a –
That makes sense.
I feel like I've heard of a whiskey tab.
Whiskey business.
Whiskey business.
Hey, did you see – when that movie got so successful, I mean, it was so big,
they were going to do another – like a whole genre of like risky business type movies.
And there was a guy, I think it was going to be Michael J. Fox, was going to do pretty
much the same movie.
But while his parents were out of town, he was running their bread bakery and he was
going to do, it was called Risky Biscuit.
Right. And they never made it they never made it yeah because he went on to do he michael j fox wanted to do star wars or whatever
that back in the future or whatever yeah right but he could have done whiskey biscuit they couldn't
they couldn't do whiskey biscuit yeah now it's called whiskey biscuit now everyone knows it as
whiskey now it is that's how we know it as whiskey business. The movies that never got made.
A whiskey biscuit sounds pretty good.
Like that story sounds cool.
You mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Risky business is about a guy whose parents go out of town and he makes his house like a casino in a whorehouse.
Yeah.
It's a brothel.
And in this one, it would be that his parents are out of town and
he runs their bread factory hmm yeah i guess so i will they never got around to rewrites because
the thing got shut down because he wanted to do they were only going to do with michael j so he's
helping he's helping his out-of-town parents as opposed to getting away with something hurting
them hurting them the way that tom cruise is hurting his parents in that movie
yeah
you hurt our feelings
the evil pimp
in Risky Business
is Joey Pants
right
oh
young
but he was never
really young
was he
I don't think
he was born bald
I don't think
born bald and bitter
we were all born bald
and then we end bald
but Joey Pants
he wrote it all
he stuck with it that'd be so funny
to see like you know like somebody in like seventh grade and they have male pattern baldness all the
way back it just was like a a sitcom but maybe like a charlie brown yeah charlie brown but like
he's like eight it was like a nickelodeon show or movie or something like the kid was
does that ring a bell to anybody bald kid yeah maybe i can't
remember what the i've been wrestling with this p-pop screen my my wind screen yeah be like me
and put a black sock on it actually what i just did worked there you go wow you tighten it up
you don't sound like a haunted house door for once.
I thought the fucking trickster
was going to walk in. I know. Oh my god.
Well, don't say his name. You never know, you know.
I was so close to contacting
one of the local
foes, menaces, about
maybe getting this drink out to us, but
a plan didn't come together.
I'm good. I'm glad.
We don't need to, you know, seek them out.
We don't need to court.
No, we don't want to court that sort of thing.
You guys ever use like a Ouija board?
Were you warned away from Ouija boards?
I did a Ouija board once and it was.
I was told not to court such things.
I never believed in it.
Never tried it.
I thought it was stupid.
Yeah, but.
Yeah, it was like you get like you get
answers or something but you're just like somebody's moving it no i'm nobody's moving it
yeah yeah do you know what that thing is called the ouija board planchette planchette oh what do
you mean that thing is called a planchette what is the thing you're touching? Oh Blanchette Named after Blanchette
Named after Kate Blanchette
She could have been
Poorly named after
She could have been
A whiskey biscuit too
Yeah I know
Around the same age
I don't know
But any of that
Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
Type shit
Any weird
I would do the
My friends and I
Did the Bloody Mary
Thing once
Yeah Mirrors in the, I don't like.
Mirrors in the dark, all right.
Mirrors in the bathroom.
Say it for the blowout.
Save it for the blowout.
This is where you got to have a guy like Mitch around who believes in the devil.
Right, and he, yeah.
That's so cute.
He would have scary stories about, you know, exorcisms and Bloody Marys and Light as a Feather.
That he witnessed?
No, just.
Oh, okay.
I've never seen anyone do the light.
The Light as a Feather thing I thought was the coolest, like, idea, but I never.
Never works.
No.
How could you?
How could it work?
Yeah.
Little kids lifting up people with their fingers.
Yeah, I've got 30 of them and it wouldn't be impressive.
You can reach.
Not all of them could fit around the body to be lifted.
I really think it's, well, I'm going to alienate some listeners right now, but why not?
We're no stranger to that here at the Slavic Boys LLC.
Somebody right now listening, did he just mention us?
Alienate?
Did he just mention us?
Well, let's go back to Zorgonorgan blabber take me to your podcaster um take me to your host i have real trouble when people by the lot look i i grew up uh
catholic i went to catholic school and stuff so so i know christian people and i and i respect
their religion, right?
This is going to upset people.
Yeah.
But then they want to get into heaven, right?
They believe in heaven.
This is going to ruffle a few feathers.
And I respect that.
I don't want to step on anyone's faith.
I encourage it.
If people believe in things I don't, that's great.
Here it comes, Mike.
Because who's going to get people's panties in the toilet? By definition, if you believe in heaven, by definition, you believe in hell, right?
Well, not really.
Are there people who just think there's heaven and then there's purgatory and limbo, but there's no.
I know the Jewish religion doesn't believe in hell.
Yeah, I'm talking.
That's why I'm talking about these Catholics I grew up with.
Okay.
Well, consistency.
They're not known for their consistency, Tim, but go ahead.
I just think it's very funny if
an adult believes in hell i think i think believing in heaven sounds like a nice idea and i and i would
like to try to believe in heaven and i i wouldn't slag off anyone for their wonderful faith but if
you think you go to a fiery place and there's a devil-y guy and he's red and he has little horns
and he pokes you with a fork and it's like ouch. Oh man, I'm down here forever. It's worse than that, but yeah.
And there's a little bit of fire. Oh my ass, man.
Not only a little bit of fire, it's the worst you can do. Oh my ass, man. What kind of stone is that? Brim?
I got burned right on my poke mark from before.
Oh, right in the same spot. Wait, what's brimstone? Fire and brimstone.
I don't know. All you know is it doesn't smell what's brimstone fire and brimstone i don't know you know all you know
is it doesn't smell good when they like fire and brimstone that's like sulfur yeah i always thought
i always just pictured brimstone as like if you had a log that was burning and you broke it up
into like the cinders or something oh brimstone i have no idea we don't even know what brimstone is
well if you're a listener and you know what brimstone is uh let us maybe that'll maybe
make me come around maybe brimstone is so legit that i'm like oh yeah hell's real well i just i
just uh uh good because you you said that but because you have such evidence right here's the
thing this is now this is where it's no but here's what's interesting i i am merely a guinea pig the
things i'm saying right now are merely what a human man says once he's drinking a rum and Coke spiced.
Yeah.
If you want to eat a little spicy.
Raise a man Catholic.
Wait till he's 40.
Give him a rum and Coke spiced.
He'll say this exact shit.
He'll stop believing in hell.
I'll tell you what.
I drank half of this.
It hit me kind of hard because I haven't eaten in several hours.
We had lunch together, but it's later now.
We had all that pho. We had all that pho.
We had all that pho.
You had pho.
I had tom ka.
And Mike had curry.
Beef curry.
All right.
I apologize.
But I'll tell you this.
Cube beef.
I drank half of it.
It hit me and I started making fun of Catholics.
I've already forgotten.
I've already forgotten about that.
That's good pot fodder.
And also, Tim. No, nobody's making fun. You're just expressing your ideas forgotten. I've already forgotten about that. That's good pot fodder. And also, Tim.
No, nobody's making fun.
You're just expressing your ideas and we're having a conversation about it.
I'm merely a guinea pig.
Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage and you guys are watching.
But I also say this.
I took one more sip.
I've forgotten about the hell thing.
I've moved on to fantasizing about those Mama Celeste pizzas that Mike got us.
Okay, no wait.
They're in Jeff's fridge.
We're going to have three frozen pizzas after this.
Suprema, deluxe, and pepperoni sausage.
Hey, there are no ribs from ButcherBox, but they'll do.
Oh, God, that was beautiful.
That was a beautiful time.
I don't think that...
I hope that most modern-day Catholics
don't actually believe that when you die,
you go to live on a cloud and a bearded God says, great job.
And it's nice.
That's great.
It does.
With all your friends.
And it's like, well, what if you had multiple wives?
Like, no, you got to like pick.
You got to know everyone's getting along.
That's true.
Seventy virgins waiting for you up there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you can't conceive of the happiness of it all.
And you can't conceive of the pain of hell.
That's the other thing.
But, you know, we all know that heaven and hell are places on earth.
They're states of mind.
It's right here sometimes.
I feel like that's.
Between you and I.
I would hope for anyone's sake that they're not living for some potential afterlife.
I think this is how you're supposed to live.
Don't live in fear.
Live in. Beer. Act well. That's appropriate sometimes. life but i think you this is how you're supposed to live don't live in fear live in beer act well
that's appropriate sometimes live in active positive service towards your fellow man
oh michael that i agree with and i'll tell you one thing i just mentioned my friend tristan right
my high school friend who was visiting came to springsteen with us yes this guy was uh straight out of uh high school he was a marine and now he's he's a firefighter right
yeah and i've been out with him in public and like let's say so he went from opening fire to
closing down fire yes when you shoot you open fire when you extinguish fire you're closing down fire now he has um uh
and he doesn't listen to the pod but his wife does and here's the interesting thing his name
is tristan and her name is kristen rhyming names yes yes if you date someone with a rhyming name
you're probably gonna get married wasn't like that one uh summer i dated that bike
with a rhyming name, you're probably going to get married.
Wasn't it like that one summer I dated that bike?
Huffy?
Oh, those folks tore my ass up.
I remember you riding that thing where you took
the seat off and the bike was just going right
up the Hershey Highway.
What I was going to say about Tristan,
so just notice this drink,
first it was the Catholic stuff
and then it was the Mama Celeste
Tristan doesn't listen
It's about public service
You were talking about
What did you say about
Keep it in your head
Tristan doesn't listen but Kristen
Yes she do
Yes she do
Who are you
You said something about like service?
Yes, active service.
Right.
For others.
So just I've been out in public with Tristan.
And like, let's say you're in like a parking lot and like an old lady's loading groceries into her trunk of her car.
He'll be like, man, would you like some help?
And she's like, yes.
And then he does it.
Or like you're walking across a crosswalk and there's like, you know, somebody is like
old guys carrying something.
It's like, would you like it?
Or what?
It's not always only carrying.
Yeah.
But he, I was like, he was like, he's like, I help people.
And I was like, what?
And he's like, yeah, you know, like, uh, I, I, when I like see people that need help,
I help them.
And I was like, oh, right.
Because you were a Marine and you're a firefighter and you exist on earth to make life better for the people around fantastic that's interesting that yeah like he's
gotten a two service jobs go ahead yeah I've I've had um one or two of those kind of come my way
where I just felt compelled to help because it was just such an obvious scenario where I was like
I'm an able-bodied dude walking by this person who's like can't get up the stairs underneath this barrel truly like
a neighbor the other day like a woman i i apparently like fell out of her wheelchair
or something like that and her son or an assistant were having trouble kind of like pulling her up
the stairs and in your building and you just just next door and you can't walk by a scenario like
that i don't know but But, but I would jump.
I would Ollie my skateboard.
But Tristan, it feels like helping with a grocery.
I walk.
I feel like I walk by that all the time.
Now I feel a bit selfish.
I'll help people on the subway.
I, if I see people like trying to get down the stairs with a big like cart, I'm like,
I can get that for you.
And I'm like, no, I've seen you do that.
In the subway once somebody had like a bikeiker like a big bag and you and you ran
it up the stairs like because the train was coming oh yeah i can get them up there i also
that that got it was like a uh it was her like grocery cart and this woman she had some kids
too so she was kind of wrangling the kid like two kids kind of i had to like helped her up but the train was coming so i was moving really fast with her and
i like kind of was like pushing her and she was like hold on hold on i was like pushing
i was like oh sorry she's like please stop please stop you're hurting me so mike heaven jeff heaven
tristan heaven tim well listen to this when I'm on a flight
and the flight lands and then we all stand
up and the overhead compartment
is open I'm pulling down bags for
there you go
you little lady you get a bag
some of the older men
that's maybe the only time I help a stranger
the other thing that I do this kind of also helps
everyone you're setting off a good karma bomb
thank you we gotta talk about airlines in a second too.
You should do stand up about airlines.
I have some shit locked up in those fuckers.
A thing about me is that this is lazy.
And I think also if you just give us money, it's easy.
But quite often I'll leave like a weirdly big tip.
If somebody does a good job or somebody seems nice, I'll leave a hundred percent tip sometimes.
Big fat tip.
And it's selfish almost because I feel like the rest of the day I'm like, I'm a wonderful man.
Sure.
But I'll leave a Santa Claus-y tip, like a huge one, maybe once a month and I'll sneak off.
I had a good interaction with a bartender recently. And then my tab was like $27.
And I left a $27 tip.
And I tiptoed away.
Perfect.
Off I go.
There you go.
I one time, I was in San Francisco.
We were doing the sketch fest.
Off I go.
And I was up there.
I whisper that as I run.
Off I go.
I was up there a day early because I was doing a stand-up show.
And then we were doing Birthday Boys and Sloppy Boys the next day.
So I was a day early, and I just went into some bar that no one was really at,
and I was talking to the bartender, and he was saying he was trying to take his family to Hawaii.
He had a big trip planned, but something happened with their house or their car.
He had to, like, something happened.
They had to get, like, repairs done, so they went down, and I was like, like something, something happened. They had to get like repairs done.
So they went down
and I was like,
oh, that sucks.
I was getting drunk by myself
and talking to him.
And then the other night
I left like a hundred dollar tip.
Nice.
And I was like,
what the fuck am I doing?
This guy.
I did that too far.
Well,
what's so funny
is that you're,
with a bartender,
it's like you're drunk
when it's happening to you.
Yes.
Cause I did the very same thing last summer.
I was at the Jersey Shore and I was getting drunk during the day at a boardwalk.
And the bartender, she was from Haiti on like an exchange program.
And she was so excited to be in America because she wanted to be like a journalist.
And she was going to school in America, but she was talking about like it's really schools expensive and everything.
So, yeah, I only had like three beers but then i left a hundred dollar tip and i was like oh i feel so good about myself and then like the buzz uh wears
off and i'm like what did i fucking do message but like message received with like half that much
you know yeah right right or it doesn't you don't have to go above and beyond just leave
i think i wrote like enjoy hawaii 100 is such a clean whopper of a number come on it's like
math was easy when i was if you're like a big spender like a rich dude and just like
peeling off hundreds for valet people damn you know i've heard as a notoriously poor
tippers michael jordan have you heard this? Really? I had heard that. Was that in the documentary?
I don't know.
I'll tell you what. When we're in Chicago, we go to Michael Jordan's steakhouse and we stiff the wait staff.
Yeah, that'll get back to him.
He's like, he calls it, how are the tips tonight at the restaurant?
I remember hearing, I read the uh the tiger woods
book that came out a few years ago oh that was that thing of us uh swinging and hitting ball
toward hole i think it was called the tiger swinging swinging and hitting ball toward hole
yeah better than most of the guys that you play that's a roar
the cover had a uh little chip in it watch shoot but he he did some stuff where like at the time
when he was like on top of the world and just money flowing in he his father died but i think
his father was like a marine or a navy guy and he would go and train with the navy seals tigerwood
tigerwood yeah he would i saw this in the doc. He would do his, like do the, the situations where like,
it's dorky,
pull a hood off your face and you've got a gun and you just like deal with
whatever situation.
Anyway,
but the story was that I read that he would go out to,
you know,
lunch with these guys afterwards and not pay or like,
not like say like,
it's on me.
Like the whole tiger thing and being like raised in an extreme by an extreme dad
nuts but that's how you get your beyonces that's how you get your michael jackson's that's how you
get your but there's probably so many examples of that of extreme dads who didn't know what they
were saying or doing and they just made a kid miserable for no reason the thing with tiger
though i what i got from the book was like his dad was really like, hey, go into the garage and like start hitting balls.
Yeah.
His mom was also very involved, too.
And he also liked it a lot.
It's when you get a kid who's like, I don't want to do that.
It's like, no, do it.
He just like could hit it.
OK.
I think with any like athlete or super celebrity or you know
where it comes down to just like repetition and discipline it's like this person needs to be
obsessed with yeah like in sort of like a weird way where you're just like i'm shooting free
throws every single day a thousand you're singularly focused on one thing i like it too
it's not like it's not like this is work The way that we grew up just podcasting and speaking into
any microphone we could get our hands on.
Now look at us.
Guy Lafleur, you know, famous
Montreal Canadian Guy Lafleur. And he ended up on
the Rangers eventually, didn't he? Did he?
He had that thing where it was like the era of
the helmet, but he was grandfathered and didn't
have to wear a helmet. I feel like every big
athlete has like, like Jordan played for
the Wizards for a second. gresky played for rangers the rangers in st louis yeah for like a
hot second anyway what was i saying jeff what's going on about repetition and being a
gila fleur he loved no let's get off the hockey something about trying to get away from his brain
so he just loved to be out on the ice skating like it was like beautiful for him
yeah but it's a little faster than walking but but a little colder dude you're not getting the
beauty of this jeff i've skated it runs to me you don't skate you don't skate like gila flurry
backwards crossovers flower the flower i can skate like pretty good. Where stick meets puck, Guy Lafleur tops me every time.
Sure, sure.
Not to mention where puck meets net.
Well, puck meets net, you might have Ken Dryden to deal with if we're talking about the Montreal Canadiens of yours.
Sure, I read that little tidbit in Ken Dryden's book.
Okay.
What position was Jean Beliveau?
He must have been a forward.
I'm guessing.
This is killing me.
Tim, this must be how you feel when we bring up, like, geek shit like Fortnite.
Yeah.
Maurice Richard was, I believe, a winner.
This is dead time.
I'm hitting the forward 15 seconds on my podcast listening app.
I don't know what Denis Savard played.
I don't like when you guys talk geek shit because.
You don't have a way in.
Actually, maybe the hockey thing would be similar, Jeff, because I don't like.
It's okay that in real life what you guys are talking about.
But when you guys talk about Fortnite on the pod.
Biggest video game in the world.
Sure, absolutely.
But there's something about it being on a pod where I didn't want to be a podcaster with my life.
So then sometimes we're talking about video games on a pod.
We're talking about Waluigi or Toad.
Yeah, I love that shit.
And I'm like, oh, I'm on a podcast talking about videos.
I've lost.
Because you're just doing the most podcasty thing.
But I would say sports, there's probably more sports podcasts than
geek podcasts, possibly.
I wonder.
I mean, sports is the biggest thing.
Sports is the biggest thing.
Geek shit, by definition,
is, well, I mean, what's the handoff?
Are we calling Marvel and Boone
geek shit?
We're not calling it. You are.
Also, the idea of a sports nerd was a thing that has kind of is a recent invention
to me because it used to be like jock shit to me.
But now there I've met a lot of fans of sports who are not athletic in and of themselves.
They just love statistics.
Exactly.
They love to watch like physical excellence on the screen.
When you watch like analysts talk about like the game that just happened or like the games
that are coming up,
that's no different than
Extra, where it's like, here, Brad Pitt
and Jolie did this old news.
But also, I think of podcasts
being geekier, but now
podcasts are just, that's just a new
form of media that doesn't have any sort
of like, it doesn't have a geek bent anymore.
No, no, no. It's not technological at all.
You can't say that television is geek geeky yeah right right but um we were talking earlier today about like nerds who
aren't smart like the nerd in your school wasn't smart and uh uh sports wise there was a kid in my
hometown that i was friends with where it was like his older brother was like a lacrosse playing athlete type guy and
then this guy the younger brother was like a frail nerd but he was really into sports like statistics
and he knew all the mets players and all the mets statistics and and i remember like the soundbite
we'd be like well you know this one guy's great at sports but then the other guys he's really smart with the statistics and stuff they both have their thing going and uh and uh like uh i i looked it up uh
kind of uh recently and it was like they both like the statistics guy didn't go on to be a smart
whiz he was just a loser and then the sports guy didn't go on to be a professional athlete
he's coaching at a local
high school and you're just like oh yeah like you thought you had michael jordan and jordan
and meanwhile i'm timothy jordan go back and said i'm a big
over there and uh i'm state new york um but you know it's like in your in your own little microcosm
of your small world like oh yeah this was this big thing but it's like no i remember like playing
hockey and like if there was like a better kid on team like wow that guy's gonna go to the nhl
it's gonna be cool but when you anyone who's ever played in the nhl when they were in like peewee
hockey they dominated in such an obvious way that
it was it's comical to work they're all the best kids on there like different species this is like
playing it's not it's not like oh yeah two goals tonight it's like oh he had 10 goals every night
well Mike you you haven't touched your uh rum and coca-cola it's very sweet i powered right through
mine check me out have you gotten to the mama celeste portion are you still up there at the
hell i've been brimstone portion i'm at the i feel like it's losing its like power a little bit
i think the ice melting is fucking sort of lost its groove polar ice caps um tim how you doing
on yours?
I finished it a long time ago And I feel a little tipsy and happy
And I love the drink
And I want another one
Now to do different
I'm going to
Do you have spiced rum at all?
Like a Captain Romano
Yeah I got some Captains
I'm going to try a spiced
Spiced and spiced
But lime though?
Lime though now or no?
No
Up to you
Ah
Hey second round is
Your call Do you know how hard it is to have Two lime To have me looking at two limes Lime though now or no? No. Up to you. Hey, second round is your call.
Do you know how hard it is to have me looking at two limes?
Two really nice, shiny limes.
Two nice big juicers, gushers, just waiting to be squeezed.
Squeezed.
It feels like the citrus wouldn't go, but then you're right.
With lime and raspberries, it's classic.
Like a lime-
Am I not drinking a raspberry lime seltzer as we speak?
He is folks.
He is.
You got to do that.
I'm going to put a lime in my spiced and spiced.
Me too.
Yeah.
My spiced and spiced.
All right,
folks,
we'll be right back after these messages,
more sloppy boys coming up.
I have to confess.
I was very excited to call 911.
Finally, a good one, you know?
And I realize that while what I'm about to say is true, it sounds suspicious.
So I'm like, my wife fell down the stairs. From his multiple Netflix specials, comedian Tom Segura brings his new tour, Come Together, to Scotiabank Arena Saturday, September 28.
Tickets on sale now at Ticketmaster.ca.
Jingle, jingle, jingle.
Ooh, that smells good, the Spiced and Spiced.
Mmm.
That's right, folks.
We're back with round two.
With a lime.
With a lime.
You put the lime.
I'm not using my lime.
Oh, wow.
This is even more like flavorful.
Who knows what spice is in the spiced rum?
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Is that a question?
Yeah.
I mean.
Did you know the answer to that? No, not that I.
But like you could say spiced and there are a million spices.
Could be pepper.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Captain Morgan, it tastes kind of like vanilla.
Yeah.
This intrepid brave
cola
is still coming through.
I can still taste
raspberry.
A hint of raspberry sweet
up top.
You know what I did too with mine?
I put in less cola
in this one.
You did?
Yeah.
In mine too?
No, I put you up to the top
but I stopped mine
here because I wanted to
just see if I could get more of that
vodka flavor.
Or the
I also added more cubes hmm wow it's good i just uh got us uh smell a hint in uh of uh
a hint of a whiff a hint of a uh my uh good and play oh That's still not the nostalgic brain fart that I can't think of.
It's a pretty good drink.
Okay.
Final thoughts.
I love it.
I love it.
It's better than a rum and Coke.
Yeah.
For some, we just kind of whipped it.
I mean, obviously, those drinks are easy to put together.
Just two ingredients.
But yeah, it's good. I love a Cuba Libre.
It was one of the discoveries of the pod.
Mike, I made some last night. Did you see me?
You did? Sucking them down. Did you see me?
What were we watching?
We were watching
Curb. We were watching
YouTube videos. YouTube videos and Curb.
YouTube videos of what? That's a pretty broad
category. We watched a lot
of Scottish kids
Scottish kid blooper videos.
Oh my god. It's not charging.
I love that school. And the other one that's like
It's not charging my iPad because it's got
used to your iPad.
You idiot. I hope you're happy because I've told mom.
Got used to it.
Idiot. You idiot.
And then there's another one which I love where a guy's trying to catch a bat in his
kitchen and his friend who's holding the camera is like, get it Denny.
Denny, get it Denny or Derry.
Derry.
It sounds like he's saying daddy, which is really funny.
Cause when I first saw it, I was like, why is this like able-bodied, I don't know, 40
year old guy filming his like 65 year old friend hobbling around trying to catch a bat being like, you've got it, daddy.
You've got it.
Oh, man.
Would you catch him, Derry?
I went to a wedding in St. Andrews, Scotland one time.
And a guy says, have you had any scotch since you've been in town?
And I said, yeah, actually, I got off the plane at the airport.
They gave me a free shot of Glen Fittich.
And he goes, Glen Fittich is piss.
Wow.
So now I know.
Don't drink Glen Fittich.
Do you remember the scotch brands in Scotland?
I don't know what he would have said was not piss.
I mean, what, Laphroaig?
Yeah.
There's some flies around here, huh?
They've been buzzing around me for weeks.
I think it's the stink lines.
I'm like Pigpen.
They're attracted to the stink.
Well, it's an order again for me.
It's not as good as a Kugelabri, let's be honest.
Wait, can I tell you something?
Yeah.
This fly remembered me. Remember me. Remember me. honest wait can i can i tell you something yeah um this fly you remember me that uh why am i drunk off of one of these you haven't eaten all day i'm a world class but we ate a
huge lunch you need a celeste you need a celeste i need a celeste until celeste is the best
um the fly reminded me of a bit that i thought was funny which was that during my brief stint
as a guest writer for snl for two weeks yes i it happened to be one of the weeks was um
fly week uh it was the anniversary i don't know if it's an album cover or a magazine cover whatever
but you know that picture of janet jackson Jackson and somebody's reaching around from the back of the cover? It's a Rolling Stone cover.
Rolling Stone.
It was like the 30th anniversary of that cover
so I pitched a weekend update bit where that
guy was on and
the reveal was that he hadn't
washed his hands in 30 years.
And when
he held up his hands, there was going to be
we're going to animate flies around him.
It's like dirt and flies. It could have been very funny. Any SNL writers listening, you should When he held up his hands, we're going to animate flies around him. Like dirt. Like birds.
Like hair.
Very funny.
Any SNL writers listening,
you should use that tonight.
Try that.
Yeah.
When it's,
when it's the 40th anniversary of that picture.
Yeah.
You just,
we're almost there.
Yeah.
We're in 35 anniversary.
Try that.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media at the Sloppy Boys where we release these
recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get
enough boys, go to patreon.com
slash the sloppy boys
and you can unlock the sloppy boys blow
out the better show we talk about all the time.
This week we talked about going to a little
Bruce Springsteen concert. Yes, we did.
I like that guy. I like his music.
Bruce!
Bruce!
Bruce! And then folks folks like we said check follow the socials for all the stuff we got coming up this
spring it's a busy spring for us we got screenings we got shows we want to see you out there on the
road come on out folks opportunities for it and i know some people are gonna say well when do you
come to texas we'll get there when we get there. We're already in Texas.
That's true.
When do you come to Florida?
We'll come to Florida when we get there.
We'll just come to Florida.
Invite us sometime.
I would love to go to Florida because...
He's a gator boy.
I want to go to Don the Beach Comber.
Yeah, where's that Don the Beach Comber place?
I don't think...
I mean, if we did Florida, we'd probably go to Miami, but I think it's more on the beach I mean if we
did Florida
we'd probably
go to like
Miami but
I think it's
more on the
Tampa side
Gulf side
there's two
types of people
in this world
Miami types
and Tampa types
I'm a Key West
type
I love the Keys
you're like
Moondog
I love Moondog
yeah
and I like
Tallahassee.
Bye, folks.
Bye.
Bye.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys. The Lord is with you.