The Sloppy Boys - 193. Han Slammer

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

The guys make a tiki-inspired drink fresh outta Hanford's test kitchen! Is it the drink of the summer... or a classic blunder?HAN SLAMMER RECIPE 1.50z/45ml CAPTAIN MORGAN1oz/30ml DISARONNO2oz/60ml GRAPEFRUIT JUICE.5oz/15ml LIME JUICE.5oz/15ml ORGEATAdd ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake well and, with some gusto, SLAM the contents, ice and all, into a chilled rocks glass. Garnish (optional) with one Fabri Amarena cherry. If this option is exercised, it is referred to as a "Han Slammer with a Bee Sting"Recipe via Mike Hanford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. Hello. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? And we are your hosts, the Sloppy Boys, expanding, ascending, and conquering once again. And retaining. Oh yeah, we added one.

Oh, right. Expand, ascend, conquer, retain. Maybe it should be retain, then conquer. We gotta iron out the order of the wall, I think. But we're getting paranoid that as we ascend, expand, and conquer, that people might think that we're losing our old listeners. So we're adding retain just so that they don't jump ship. Because look, a lot of the great conquerors of history, yeah, they conquered. But then what happened?

It got taken away. They lost it. It got taken right away. You're right. Give that it. Taken right away. You're right. Give that back. Give that right back. And, you know, some of them did. Some didn't.

But we will. Well, how you guys living? Living good. I live in large. If if anyone listening wants to say to me, hey, we can hear your AC. It's going to be on for this one. I mean, you're starting off slick forehead. I think it's got to be on.

But Mike, it wasn't the idea was that you were going to buy a plug in with your own money, but you don't know what a plug in is. We we Mielen and I have not talked about that yet. He's got the info. He just needs to find me the plug in. Right. AC remover a plug-in for specifically for air conditioning you i like the idea you you buy a physical it looks like a glade plug-in but it goes into your computer and it erases the sound of air conditioning units only by the by the mere click of a button it's that easy wow now if only it existed somewhere tim how you live this is when we need this is hold on a second

jeff tim i want to get to you i want to hear what tim has said tim i'm gonna let you finish uh i want to hear i want one of our you know the person who made the sloppy boys drink page or the person who made the sloppy boys, uh, virtual fighter. I want them to figure out this plugin thing. Yeah. Virtual fighter. Remember, remember the, the, um, beat saber, beat saber. Oh yes. Well, virtual fighter is the off, the off brand one that we have. Wait, virtual fighter was a fighting game, I think i think yeah it was like a polygonal looking guy remember you could be a cheetah guy all right uh jeff you were about to ask tim something yeah tim how's it how's it going man how's your life i'm fully in summer mode it happened it happened

over here and i'm fucking full it's just it's it's, it's, it's here. I'm looking forward to, I'm looking forward to playing in Chicago on July 25th, doing a live podcast and a show. Yeah. I'm looking forward to other fun stuff. I'm going to, I'm looking forward to being out in New York on the 4th of July. Me and Hanford are going to get up to some shit. Oh yeah.

We're probably gonna get down to that, that Joey chestnut-less hot dog competition. Well, that leaves a hole for us to swoop right in and win that thing for once. He's not doing it anymore. He and Kobayashi are doing something else, I hear. Some other thing.

You know, you could wait backstage for everybody to go on, and then right as they're announcing people, you go scoop them back there and put on their go on and then right as they're announcing people you go yeah scoop them back scoop them back there and put on their clothes and then it's you guys up there i could put a big pillow under my shirt oh i just ate a bunch of course i warmed up too much here's what's gonna happen i'm gonna sneak in there they're gonna i'll be on the stage and they can't don't give the hot dogs to me i eat them all i eat all the hot dogs faster than anyone most

hot dogs and they go tim you won the competition and i say uh there was a competition that was a regular lunch for me wow what competition what are all these people doing here i was wondering yeah tim i mean you're a writer uh what is it emmy nominated uh brought the anyway i would think maybe a better i think maybe a better line could come out than uh oh this was a competition you know what i you make a good point i think i used up all my brain cells getting my emmy nomination and my two wga nominations and i don award nominations. I don't think I have anything left up top. You sold them? You sold them away, didn't

you, to Hollywood? We need those cells for the pod, Tim. Wait, do you know why? Do you guys know why Joey Chesnut is not involved anymore? No. Scandal? No, he got sponsored by Impossible Meats.

And either they said he couldn't do it or Nathan said he couldn't come back. That's pretty rough. If Impossible said he couldn't come back, that's his very claim to fame. They must have given him a shitload of money to retire from his happiest thing. Well, do we know what's his happiest thing? He might not like it at all. Is it educated guests? How about this?

What if I got sponsored by a guitar company and they said, Tim, no more notes and scales? Yeah. Then yes, they would have to pay you an absorbent amount of money for you to take that deal. I'm just out there with pickups and frets on stage. I don't know about this. Hold it.

What? How? Just atonal clonks and bonks. I can turn these knobs up, but they're not connected to anything. Ugh. Well, hey, is anyone going to ask how I'm doing? We thought you'd just tell us.

You're the host, Jeff, so you have to say, well, now it's time for me to say how I'm feeling. You can see how my vibe is prompting you. Yeah, you're in a bad mood. You got a bad vibe going. What's with the vibe and the mood?

Well, I got cut out. Oh, man. Okay. Now, I know from that tone he's feeling bad, but what the hell is he talking about? Were you in a movie? I got cut out of the big Hollywood movie. Uh-huh. It just came out. And I'm nowhere to be seen. Fuck. a movie? I got cut out of the big Hollywood movie. Uh-huh. It just came out.

And I'm nowhere to be seen. Fuck. Which movie? What movie are you talking about? I put in a year and a half of dialogue acting. And there's not even a trace of my character in this thing. Mike, do you know what movie he's talking about? I don't remember him ever.

He's not talking about Furiosa because he said he hasn't seen it yet. And I've seen it. I'll take you back a little bit. I'm surprised I didn't tell you guys about this but a year and a half ago there was a lunch between pixar executives like pete doctor and other ones whose names i can't remember and me and they said jeff if you thanks for coming we love the pod we love your voice and uh did you have you seen inside out and i said yeah inside i've seen it it's great Jeff, thanks for coming. We love the pod. We love your voice. And have you seen Inside Out?

And I said, yeah, Inside Out. I've seen it. It's great. And I said, well, don't tell anybody. We're making Inside Out 2. And there's going to be a lot of new emotions in 2 because Riley's going into puberty. Right. Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

And they said, we think it'd be great for Horny. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And I said, we think it'd be great for horny. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And I said, guys, I don't know about this. Are you sure about this? And they're like, we know. We know. We're Pixar.

We're Pete Docter. We're some of those other guys. And they said, like, it's going to be tasteful. And we might rename him, what was it? Amorous. Because you can't say it. That's good. That's good it too yeah yeah you can well he was going to be a a pink blob that um would swell up i can see why you would enjoy like connect to a pink blob and you can you see my concern also mike what? What, the swelling up? No, for doing a character named Horny in a Pixar movie.

I thought it was going to be amorous. Oh, yeah. Well, we stuck with Horny for a while. And then I do voices for a year and a half. I fell in love with the character and they cut me out. Yeah, hold on a second. They cut you out. First of all, I didn't even know you were working with Pixar. That is huge jeff i know a year and a half you never mentioned this to us

nda you sign an end i talk to you every single week a couple times a week so is that how nda works is you can't say anything while you're working on it and then the very second you're done you can say anything you want you talk shit on a podcast but tim you know you know how how long these cartoons take yeah i'm an industry guy i write for digman on comedy central uh the drawing the flipping you lay it down it takes some months to two years to come up with this stuff and so here i am i fall in love with the character i'm like well they know what they're doing and now uh reports is there's no horny in the movie at all. They brought in envy on we anxiety. You mean to tell me this? This is a character going through puberty and there's no horny or amorous.

Yeah. And I didn't get paid. Well, that sucks even worse. So it was that the deal was that the deal, the contract you signed? You gave him a year and a half of your life, and you didn't negotiate for any money. I fell in love with the character. Now, Jeff, you might have to forgive me.

You seem to, and again, you might have to forgive me on this. You're taking a tone sort of that uh either all three of us take usually later in the show and we want to talk about a track we have do you have a track to play because it seems like you're really well you're sort of leading up i actually don't see i see yes no that's the that's the whole story and i was so mad about it i didn't even turn it into a demolition or anything like that. I just needed to, in case I'm in a mood, it's cause I got cut.

It's cause you got, okay. And you don't have any sound of it. I thought maybe you'd have some. No. Well, maybe the listeners could come up with some, uh,

you know what? You know, maybe next week I'll come in with some of the dialogue that I recorded. That sounds good. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe in the voice that you did. We could play act.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's okay. Even though you signed an Nnda it's okay for you to bring in the script now and now it's fine yeah yeah it's that was good they just don't want it happening while you're in a record session yeah that would be bad yeah and you know what the other crazy thing is if you google this there's no record of my involvement at all that's that sucks because that pisses me off you know why because i like you jeff and i know you could do a good

job with it thanks they should have a whole imdb for people that were cut out of stuff uh you know imdb ceo is internet movie database cut out. Yeah, it's me. It's Eric Roberts. Stoltz. Yes, Stoltz. Well, Eric, I'm sure he was cut out of something. I pray Eric Roberts has been cut out of some stuff. Hey, you know, your namesake Dutton on the TV, that TV show, Kevin Costner was cut out of the Big Chill.

Only his hairline remains. Oh, no. It's Big Chill, a Brat Pack movie, Tim. No, it's a boomer. Oh, it's a boomer movie. Did I tell you one time uh i think this was during season two of the birthday boys i was looking on imdb at my own imdb great show great season and uh i saw that i was a name i was i was like a name in i think the new uh incredibles 2 movie

you were a name i was like i was like listed. My name was listed as like one of the voice actors. I was like, whoa. Didn't you do like a loop group? I did for, for, uh, for Monsters University. That's basically a loop group is when it's almost like voice extras. They brought a bunch of UCB people in and we spent the day. They'd be like, okay, somebody, uh, these guys are running across the campus. You guys all need to say like, whoa, watch out. Don't step on my lunch. Did you get cut? No, i don't i haven't seen that movie but uh neil was doing it with us and apparently you can you can hear his voice or he said he can hear some of our voices but uh yeah it was imdb it said i was one of the voices in in a new a pixar movie that was about to

come out and are about to like get made. And I was like, well, wait, did I get cast in this? And I don't know. Like within a day had gone down. I was like, no, I didn't know. Well,

do we get in some booze news? Please. Yes. That would be nice. Hit it. Hey there, Jeff, Mike,

Tim in LA and New York city. I'm a thousand miles away. Cause I live in a different city And your pod Each week I listen to your pod And I applaud I love the chit chat and the quiz Jeff always loses Some would say those are their favorite parts

But I would say Booze News is where I choose To hear what booze is in the news hey there delilah it makes my skin crawl it's so cringe hey there jeff mike tim was sent to us by slop heads dave mulhernhern and Chris Finke and if you have a booze news theme email it to the sloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com they didn't let me finish my sentence there I said that song makes me cringe makes my skin

crawl but I admitted that it was a guilty pleasure at one point I wasn't just talking shit on a bad song I was saying that it's so it's hard for me to admit that what that, when that came on, it did get stuck in my head a lot.

And I was like, Oh damn, I like this. Damn. Yeah. Have you heard the Drake version? Um, yeah.

What is it? Hey, Kendrick, uh, you know, and I'm sure there's more to it. Uh, you have heard my feelings.

Uh, yeah, nah, it's like he's doing Hey There, Delilah, but he kind of put the beef aside to do this like silly song. Oh, this is mid-beef? Or is it a new beef he has with the plain white teas? It's Wagwan Delilah. And it's like Toronto slang.

Jeff, didn't you shit your pants mid beef once wait what mid beef yeah of course mid way through a beef nasty stuff man Jeff the things you do you're a nasty man

the things you do the things Jeff does for nasty boyness we should do a song in the next album with me and mike singing about the stuff jeff does oh the things he does you're back there on the drums and we're both oh no the things he does it's like that thing you do that would be funny to to do not like a thing that he does but like we like him so much but he's just right behind us how are we gonna tell him to the tune of that thing we do oh those things he does oh jeff oh jeff um what else was i? I was going to say something about something.

Now, what was it? What were you just talking about? Drake, Kendrick, Beef. I was going to say Finky. Chris Finky. We've had that name before, haven't we? Oh, yeah. Finky's got his finger on the pulse.

Stinky Finky? Stinky Finky. And now he's in cahoots with Dave Mulhern? Now they're unstoppable. Oh, here's what it was. Finky and Mulhern together? Ew. Jeff, I had a funny moment on the Zoom here where they made fun of you for the quizzes you always lose.

Yeah, I heard that. And it was just like in the Blink-182 video for First Date when you see Tom DeLong mouth, what the fuck? I saw you kind of, what the fuck? Yeah, I didn't appreciate that. And look, I don't always lose have i won the fewest of them yes but i'm not out there putting up l's like all the time if you've won the fewest does that mean i've won the most see there's the other thing the slot pads like keep track of this stuff i don't even appreciate that if i'm being honest. You don't?

No, not with me in last place, I don't. Oh, I like it. If I'm in first place, I would guess that I'm probably in first place. Of the quizzes? Perhaps. I mean, that's crazy because you do a lot of quizzes, and you can't win the ones you do oh maybe that maybe i'm getting hosting points okay can we get to booze news for christ's sake we got a big show

we got a big drink jeff was the voice of horny and inside out too there's a lot going on here um this is actually great interesting booze news This is why I have a podcast is to learn stuff like this. All year, we've been talking on this podcast. It's coming up a lot. We've been talking about the early 2000s. We did the Porn Star Martini. We've referenced other early 2000s aughts. Drinks and culture.

And we've had several times we've chatted about indie sleaze and then several times we've said well what do you call the mainstream equivalent of indie sleaze and we jeff you offered von dutch and we said yeah we'll call it the von dutch era and this has come up so many times this year on the podcast and we and we just sort of you know never we're like okay i guess it's just that we'll call it that whatever you know and here's what's great we get a message from a guy a slophead named dan raby dan dan raby like rabies but singular baby baby r-a-b-y he's docs sorry dan i don't know if you wanted me to say your name, but it's been said because you're a great guy. Here's what he said. He reached out and

he said, Tim, I'm an aestheticist. Oh, okay. I do this. What you're talking about, aesthetics of eras and stuff, that's a real thing that people do and I do that. And he told me about this place called the Kari's that's a real thing that people do and i do that and he told me about this place

called the cari institute that's like creative arts research institute where they do this they track this stuff and i'm thinking i'm that makes me think a birthday boy season one episode one that's a very good tv show and you can watch it on pluto with ads lime oh lime you can watch it on a lime scooter i said like online oh you can watch it online okay no what are you gonna say here it is guys are you ready to hear yes i'm also simultaneously i'm gonna say it and then i'm going to also message you a link to the institute article about this the name of the aesthetic vibe we've been talking about officially from the early 2000s to the late 2000s is mick bling oh capital m lowercase c capital b bling as in uh you know a bling being we're talking post-hiphop

bling but then into this sort of tacky um mass-produced bling yes democratized yes listen to this blurb yeah this is great the period from approximately 2000 2008 a hard shift away from the minimalist futurism of the y2k aesthetic we all know that era towards maximalist remixes of mainly 1970s and early 80s trends and motifs yeah it is throwbacky but with this tackiness says aspirational luxury in all forms tattoo motifs oversized designer glasses celebutants designer ripped jeans pink hummers bedazzled electronics fashion phones mcmansions nihilistic and hedonistic overtones overly flourishy vector art grunge effects applied to gothic fonts reality tv shows paris hilton tuscan

inspired everything in home furnishing. That's huge. Luxury trips around the world, excessive overbuilding of homes, global housing bubble, designer dogs, Dubai, bling, spinning rims,

trucker hats, Vaughn Dutch, Ed Hardy, spray tans, track suit, juicy couture, American fly inspired clothing post nine 11. And there's a bunch of picks here.

Isn't that fascinating? Just here. It actually said by someone who actually does the fucking thing that's that's really cool uh i'm gonna look at this i'm gonna look at all these other different different things too yeah there's pictures here like josie and the pussycats and bratz dolls and playstation 2 that's pink all kinds of stuff i think about that stuff all the time. Cause I don't know much. I like design and I like good design and I like architecture, but I'll look around.

And since I don't have much of a background or any background in any of it, I will be like, wow, why that look like that. And I've noticed that this era, like there's, it's funny to see like, oh yeah,

there's somebody who's categorized all this, but I'm just like, I wonder if there's connected at all. It's funny. There's a little overlap though, with the indie sleaze though, huh? I mean, I guess like it's, it's so happening all at the same time, but there's like the, this is the mainstream. I mean, they're both sleaze, you know? Yeah, exactly. The tackiness is the thing. But man, when I saw grunge effects applied to Gothic fonts, I was like, what was that fucking brand that I can't think of? And I think it was called Affliction. Yep. Do you remember that?

Yeah. No. That's like, it wasn't nearly as popular as your Ed Hardy's and your Von Dutch's and stuff. But it was like, yeah, Affliction was like the sort of badass ripped up black t-shirts that like, you know, want to be scary. You guys were, I wonder what our era is now. You can't tell when you're in it. You got to look back. Yeah, that's true. I think it's ascend, expand, conquer, and retain. i feel like i can't i can't put

a finger on it now just because with the internet i i feel like you everything is so fractured yeah like i think that might be it fractured it is like all all subcultures are happening at once just on the internet. Yeah. Right. You can do anything. There's a scene for it now. Yeah. Well, this is kind of a scene.

It was a groove, but that's for sure. Yeah. It's a groomer for sure. That's absolutely. That goes without saying. That's really cool. I,

I, I'm, I'm a Tim. Where'd you find this person again? This was a DM from a genius. Love it. We need more geniuses DMing us. I just, I like, I'm going to click around this institute, this Kari Institute website more because I love, you know, whenever I try to talk architecture, I don't know shit about architecture, but I wish I did because it's fun to look, but I'll, I run out of words so fast.

I'll be like, hey, that's Art Deco. Well, this one here is not art deco at all just say see how light the facades appeal it almost gives it a sense of floating or say oh this is a very heavy grounded building that's it yeah how does it play with nature that's also i took one architecture class uh one semester in college i really enjoyed it but damn what i forgot that's good though i just i i was just gonna say as far as booze news goes with this now that we know the word and this has been defined for us no mention here of any drinks and i think that we kind of think mojito yeah mojito for sure did and porn star martini i didn't hear of it at the time but it was a

cool thing in london but um i would like to expand ascend and conquer the the drinks of that era i it got to be like you know uh energy drinks and yeah honestly dawn of energy drinks is is a i mean rock sparks maybe yeah yeah sparks kind of came and went but um i imagine like a bang started then and just was kind of too small to leave a dent and now it's now it's known um also no food you know i kind of feel like pinkberry should be in here at least oh pinkberry for sure and the uh and the starbucks uh frappuccino with the whipped cream on top like the big ass Starbucks. I feel like that was a status symbol for a bit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, speaking of Pinkberry, just that just made me think of L.A. because I was in L.A. when that was big. I just saw the huge Arby's hat. Arby's on Hollywood is closing. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that's a bummer.

Because, Mike, you were their only customer and you moved to New York and now they're fucked. And the times that we did go there it was it sucked it was a bad scene fucking war zone yeah yeah it was a bad scene i i literally saw an armed robbery going down there and i saw the cops pull up and swarm the place you think the big cowboy hat would scare people away so authoritative sheriff um that's where van arts and i shot uh downton arby's for yahoo sketchy that was huge back when everybody had a had a sketch single but that was richard kind very nice funny man richard kind he was cracking me up so much in the uh everyone's in la the millennia stuff dude the promos for that were like oh my favorite use of richard kind like yeah those long shots those extreme long shots oh those like zoomed in from far away and he's fretting and melanie's like okay so it's so it's weezer and it's this person and he's richard kind of just

like pacing around he's like that's a lot of show it's pacing around pulling on his lip being like yeah okay yeah like why is he so funny like he's just the co-host like it's not like he's the executive producer that has to make things all happen that's a lot of show it's a big show i don't know it's a lot of show it's really funny to advertise your show as like being in the weeds like hey there's a new show coming out and we're kind of fucked in the fucking weeds here i love the little promotion there was one where john was just rallying off the show and he and uh richard kind was like and how are you doing he's like you know no one's asked me that but it wasn't like it was just like such a small turn

i love it those guys are so good um i got a small bit of booze news uh not small it's huge news in fact but um it should take me no time to say it uh mike hanford is going out on tour in august stand-up comedy tour it's uh we're just getting the dates together now right now we've got uh me i've got uh aug August 3rd at Cactus Club in Milwaukee. Love it there. Two shows that night on early and late. The Hereafter in Seattle, Washington on the 7th, August

7th. And then the next night, August 8th, Kelly's Olympian in Portland. That's fun. Stay tuned for more. Watch this space for more dates added. I believe an LA date will be thrown in there soon. Now, Mike, you got a,

you got an early show in a late show. That's nice. Yeah. You kind of go blue in that second show. I don't know what I'm going to do in that second show. I might go bright red. Guys, I got no material.

So I'm blushing. Get out of here. The only tough thing about the audience. Get out of here. The only tough thing about doing like early shows in the summer is that the sun is still out. And if anyone walks into a venue like the light comes in, you're under a microscope. So that's it, folks. I'm going to be on the road.

If the you know, if the numbers prove anything, the laughs have been through the roof. He's going to be on the road. And folks, if you're going to be on the road, go to see the show. Yeah, go on the road to where I'm going. Or if you live on one of those roads. The stars have aligned. Is that it for Booze News? Wrap it up up Wrapped

Well, well, well, well Today is the big day, huh? The two of you guys wanna You've been needling me You wanna know so bad What has Mike been up to in the test kitchen? Oh Well, today's the big day

For you two to find out what I've been up to. I attacked, you know, I've made some drinks on this show before. We won't mention them, but drinks that have fallen either to the ground, literally, or figuratively to the wayside. We're talking about the Grimace Piss mostly. Fallen from Gracia. Yeah. So today, I wanted to make up a drink, and I wanted to work on a tiki drink. Cause I don't know.

I don't like, you know, I don't do tiki very often. So I had some stuff and I was mixing some stuff around the other night. I felt I, I, the only thing, you know, I, people say what, what inspired this drink? And I just felt like it was time. You know what I mean? Oh, time to just create father time inspired you. Cause how do you, how can you tell when an,

when an idea is ready? No, it's never ready. How about that? How can you tell when I, an idea is formed? It's so cloudy. This is,

it's a magical process. People say, you know, people, writers or painters. So I'm, I'm this age. I haven't done anything yet.

No, you're building up all this kinetic energy and eventually or no potential energy and then eventually boom it's gonna fly like it did here today with a drink that i'm calling let me get my notes here the hand slammer you've heard a lot of editorializing you know you're kind of celebrating the drink already we're just kind of figuring out what it is oh yeah yeah yeah well hey this is interesting i wrote down my uh my uh recipe in my dale de groff recipe book more on that beautiful later folks you're gonna hear about how we got these soon enough isn't't Dale, Dale DeGroff's a legend in the cocktail world. That's right.

That is right. And, uh, I got this, I got this notebook directly from him. Okay, here we go. You guys want to know what's in this thing?

I would love to. I'd love to. The hand slammer. Tiki inspired. Here we go. 1.5 ounces. Captain Morgan spiced rum. Yes. Nice. 0.5 ounces Captain Morgan spiced rum. Yes.

Nice. 0.5 ounces Orgeat. Oh, already getting pretty fancy for the handman, if you ask me. Orgeat. Look at you. Yeah, I know. 0.5 ounces Joie de Lime. That's lime juice for the non-Francophile.

And then two ounces of Joouaze de pink grapefruit. Pink grapefruit juice. And then here's the thing. So I had all those mixing around and I tasted it. And this is probably a drink anyway somewhere. And then I said to myself, wait a minute. One ounce di serono ought to do this just nice that's what got my ears perked up on the text chain mike i said he's up to something let him cook and i looked i looked online i i

typed all these ingredients i couldn't find a drink because i feel like tiki drinks these are all tiki ingredients they're gonna pretty much yeah Pretty much, yeah. You would think they'd show up somewhere. I think it's the pink grapefruit. Okay, so for the method, add all ingredients into a shaker with ice and shake well. We're looking for ice chips here. Okay. You know what I mean? It's that shake.

You want it so shaken so much you can't even hold it anymore. Flakes. Okay. shaking so much you can't even hold it anymore flakes okay with some gusto slam the contents of the shaker ice and all into a chilled old-fashioned glass that's why we call it a hand slammer so we're not we're not draining in onto new cubes we're opening up the shaker and dumping and i and i i underline some gusto here i'll send you guys this just so you can have it i order underline some gusto just so you know you want to you don't want to make a mess but you want to you want to give it one pop right in there yeah great okay you're like garnish optional one fabry amorena cherry. Okay. Brand specific.

Brand specific, but I also put your favorite, quote unquote, fancy cherry is an acceptable substitute. Tim, that was a phrase from you, fancy cherry. That just means Luxardo. It just means- Brandied. Yeah, brandied cherries, Bordeaux cherries yes yeah who bordeaux something you're not just gonna it's not some cherry off the street a cherry that expresses you exactly thank you and now i should say this too when garnished option is exercised

the drink is referred to as a hand slammer with a bee sting okay okay that's what it's referred to as wow i like when the uh the the instructions have like a little bit of like extra pageantry to it yeah yeah especially when it's just for the new name for the car when it's garnished but i guess martinis do that uh gibson you know come on on. Yeah, of course. Wow. I'm sending you guys my little thing here just so you can have something to look at. But I'm excited. I'm excited for you guys to try it. I think you are going to like it. We're going to have some discussion about maybe dialing in some of the amounts and spices here.

We'll take a drink. Well, hey, that's what the pod's for, Mike. This is good. I know. Oh, I thought it was to entertain the listeners. I just want to say, Mike, to you, I want to say this is very exciting. Thank you

for bringing this to us. Really great. Can I talk to Jeff for a second? Please. I'll look at my book. What's up, man? Jeff, here's what he's doing. There's aspects of this that are really exciting to me. It's a tiki thing. It's sort of a take on what he's doing. Look, there's aspects of this that are really exciting to me. You know, it's a tiki thing. It's sort of a take on a, he's doing,

what he's doing here is a bit of a take on Mai Tai with also like an element of an Alabama slammer, whether he intended that or not. I am seeing crossover. I'm sure he did, Tim. I bet he did. He's shaking his head. The guy, here's what I like.

He likes grapefruit, so he incorporated grapefruit. Here's what he said is just grapefruit on its own might be flabby, so I'm going to put some lime in there to sharpen it up. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I found some lime. That's good. So there's things here that are exciting. But then when I look at this list, there are some elements of this

that are challenging for me to witness. Oh, like what? What's that? Wait, Mike, you can't't hear you can't hear this all right i'm not here no no i i well i i'm gonna i'm gonna think about it during the break i'm gonna formulate my thoughts and see and see if i can articulate it but i'm gonna i'm gonna hold off judgment just for now and i'll make the drink and i just want to have an eloquent way of saying to mike what i feel when i read these ingredients, but I'll, I need a minute

while I shake up the drink. I'll think on it. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait to hear. All right. As long as you have time to think and Tim, if you're away from your microphone, while you're shaking up and you have a thought, have your phone handy so you can record any, record anything if you need to, if you need yeah i have an iphone 14 x max perfect great perfect all right folks we're gonna go shake up these drinks and when we come back more sloppy boys and we're back with hand slammers in hand i like the look of it it's a nice color how does it look how does it smell not bad it looks great it smells great it's not you know what's really nice it's good it's a

shake shaking drink because when you're shaking up citrus like that, it's really beautiful with the cloudy. It's opaque, you know? Mm-hmm. Did you guys use Captain Morgan's? I did. I have an ancient bottle. I used Sailor Jerry. Oh, his nautical friend.

His nautical friend. I'm remiss to say this, Mike, but I did fuck up the drink, but I feel like it might be poetic justice in a way. That's okay. I think, yeah, it's like all of our ingredient lists or recipes. Sometimes they put in absolute vodka citrone and you go with what you got. Well, I mean, I feel like early on you were talking about grapefruit soda and then it changed to juice at one point. So I had soda. Oh, I know it always be pink grapefruit and i got i got like uh well it's pink for sure pink grapefruit juice jeff you have like the italian style or squirt like or like the big

bottle with the pink uh option c fever tree oh oh that's what you use. Oh, sorry. I thought, okay. But it's still the same amounts. Yeah, I think I told you guys. I went down the... You know when you go to the juice aisle that's not refrigerated? You're like, what are these glass bottled juices? Yeah, these tall glass Italian juices. That's where I got my pink grapefruit juice. Okay. Sips? Yeah okay sips yeah sips

oh michael you've done it mike you've been holding out on us it's all right there isn't it you've been holding out you've been i feel hustled like a pool shark you made weird drinks for four years and now you got it now you're really on something that's jeff thank you very much that's why i am so convinced this actually is an already existing drink it's what the brilliance mike the brilliance of what you've done, you madman, is that grapefruit is harsh. I'm using Florida's natural pink grapefruit. I love it, but it's a bitter drink, right? But we've softened the edges with this sweetness.

And it tastes like candy. It's not too sweet, but it's like candy. If you gave me this and told me it was a mai tai i would be like well what is the deal with this brilliant mai tai this is like something you'd get at a at a bar and and it's like their take on a mind like you could call this a tie me up daddy tai and go sell it for 20 bucks damn i should right we all should the three of us specifically a tie-me-up daddy. We'll go

around, we'll get a cooler of these things going. We'll just walk up and down in the parks and sell them. Mike, I like the name hand slammer, and I did do the slam. I did it to the letter of the law. Good, good. And it does feel satisfying to get a little whoosh and a clunk. So that's you

slamming it down into the glass oh you know what would be smart is i because we built it in the shaker i didn't know how many cubes to add ah yeah i did too many cubes it might be smart to build it in the drink then dump it in the shaker shake the shit out of it and then slam it back down into the glass so you have the right amount ah that's a good idea that's a good idea just i i can't i because when you slammed it it like mine mine went like shot up way to the top and i had a little extra i said yeah i did have extra yeah i put too many cubes in so mine mine overflowed when i slammed it i have a little bit of a flood in the kitchen yeah you know what you could also do you could also if you wanted to avoid the slamming put uh some spillage in the slamming get a bigger thing than a collins glass

i did a collins glass just because i like it fills it up nice oh yeah uh old old-fashioned oh sorry sorry uh old-fashioned but a collins glass might be more appropriate if you really want to slam my god mike good right it's so. When in life do you ever get to have grapefruit, but then have it go down this smooth? And it's so balanced, I wouldn't necessarily say it's grapefruit if I didn't know. I would just be like, it's a hand slammer. That's what it is. It's a hand slammer.

And I'll tell you something. I did do, I made it first one way, and then I was like, let me try to replicate that. I did. And I said said something's wrong here so i made another one and pulled back on the i don't know my recipe book in front of me but i think i pulled back on the orgeat and lime juice i think those were an ounce each first and you dial it down to half and and maybe the maybe the disaronno was like

one and a half minutes so it was like too much of everything. So you were losing your grapefruit was what was happening probably, right? With all those other tastes. Losing the taste of it. Yes, yes, yes. Di Serrano brings a little sweetness too. Mm-hmm. I like it how it's kind of like brownish, tiki.

Yeah, light brown, light tiki brown. Tiki stuff is always so like bright and exciting except the drink itself looks like mud water you know what it would be nice is i get a little pebble ice in here somehow that's what the that's what the hard shaking is supposed to do but if you jeff if you shook if you shook well enough you could you would have created pebble ice on your own you gotta get jacked dude yeah i have big pebbles big pebbles i'm trying to get jacked how dare you oh jeff how's the jacking going the jacking that's that's different that's a whole other thing for that you go behind the paywall folks

i was in i was in the fucking i was in the gym today i got on so many machines mike i like that you're getting in there with the machines man you gotta do the machine i i got on so many machines mike i like that you're getting there with the machines man you gotta do the machine i i have to we've talked about this before i need to do it a lot so i feel like i'm not uh every time i go there i'm like well how does this all work i forget you forget in the interim every time well just like it when i'm there every day i feel like i'm allowed to be there every day yeah my personality is not one that fits easily into a weight room. So it's to go every day is like, yeah, okay. It's not me at my best.

It's not, you know, it's not, if you meet me at the gym, that's not my strong suit. Yeah, you're going to meet me being like, get the fuck off those weights, you fucking asshole. Did you wipe that down? Yeah, I just, I'm in the middle of a set. We'll wipe it down between sets you're fucking stinky old weirdo jeff did you you never got over that hump of self-consciousness like like you you it went down but you still when you're at the gym

you're a little aware that you might use a machine kind of wrong and some meatheads will laugh at you? Well, the problem with, I keep a pretty small repertoire and I would probably be more fit if I branched out onto other machines, but I just sort of found the ones that I liked and could figure out and, and I just stuck with them. So I could probably work a lot more like little giblet muscles if I would do weird machines, but I just kind of like, you know, a bench press, I know how to do that. And some of these rowing things, but the people who are in really good shape know all those weird, uh, the weird machines where you're, you're kind of like standing up and like pulling a zip cord past your body, you know, like weird stuff, like weird exercises that take up like a lot of space and people are like oh i don't do that that stuff i i don't i don't i haven't

gotten my place to a point yet where i go i hope i don't ever get there but you get to know the machines mike that's good you just get in there and like look i'm getting to know you you're getting to know me you know i said oh this is what i'm gonna say uh tim you were saying like do you feel self-conscious you guys and jeff that the other day today i was walking through and i my shirt was all sweaty and it was like clinging to my body so i could see like my you know a protrusion in the stomach area i was like oh shit man that doesn't look good you know these are these are fraction of a second thoughts yeah yeah I'm thinking, that doesn't look so good. And I'm looking at the other guys, oh man, these guys are more cut. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm doing the thing here.

I'm doing the, I don't have to worry about what I look like here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm working on it. You can't beat yourself up while you're at the gym. But I think that's a big thing of people doing it like at, like when they go, they're like, oh, you know, it's a tough thing to compete with all the people but it's like you're there already you're doing better than 99 of everyone do you find that people are supportive too like

even like douchebag uh comments that that come across like instagram or whatever whenever you see somebody who's like out of shape and at the gym and there are people in the comments talking shit there are way more people being like shut the the fuck up. He's doing the work. Yeah, that's insane to make fun of somebody. People love to flex their knowledge, but they're not necessarily trying to make you feel bad. They just want to get to show off that they have knowledge. So I would imagine at the gym, I wouldn't know. I don't go to the gym.

But I imagine if some guy walks over, he's like, hey, bro, actually, you should do it this way. He's not trying to make you feel bad. He's trying to make himself feel good. Yeah. Or, or you to avoid a huge injury, which I feel like I'm doing on every thing I do. There's a guy at the gym by us. Uh, he's, he's quite loud. His name is, well, I don't want to say his name, but, um, he talks a lot, uh, especially to the women. And I think he's been told to dial it down, but he will come by and like, he'll, he'll like, he'll be like a trainer, but a floater. So like, you'll, you'll just kind of be doing stuff and

he'll be like, cool, tilt those knuckles forward and like, keep your shoulders back. Cool. And he keeps moving. And I actually like a little bit of guidance because I've found that when my form is better, I can't do as much weight and I got to go down and wait, but that's what you should be doing. Going down and wait. Yeah. Like maybe you should be doing. Going down and wait. Yeah. Like maybe you shouldn't be doing 40 pounds. You should be doing 30 pounds properly or, you know?

Oh, oh, oh, oh yeah. I see what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

No, no. I say push it to the limit. Form doesn't matter. It's getting those big number up in the air, baby. You want those muscles to get tight. You want those muscles to rip because then once the muscles are ripped, they can heal big.

They heal themselves. They heal bigger. Bigger and better than before. Come back bigger, baby. Woo! Bigger and better. Strong. Build back better.

Oh, going back to the drink. I was writing in my DeGroff recipe book, and I wanted to make it look good. And that looked good. going back to the drink, I was writing in my DeGroff recipe book, and I wanted to make it look good, and we'll not look good. I wanted to look somewhat like something, so we can post out the thing. Something. I got Lee Kalpak's

new book. Now that's a book. That's why. It's a cookbook out there, a camper cookbook. Out there by Lee Kalpak is available on Amazon. Mike, and you made something from it already. I made the spiced honey roasted peanut granola. Holy shit. It was good.

That's a fun little snack. It was really good. It was super easy. It was like basically taking oats, honey roasted peanuts, and honey and putting it on a baking sheet and let it bake and then crumble it back up. Oh, that's nice. Crispy. I like it. That's a good one for you to choose. You're kind of a gorky guy.

Yeah. You are a gorky guy. Isn't your handle online is at gorky guy? You're sort of like a Subaru, Thule, Patagonia, Camelback, Cliff Bar guy. Cliff Bar. Hey, let's play. Hey Bar Guy. Cliff Bar Guy. Hey, we got away from this. We stopped playing.

Let's play Bonnaroo at the end of this episode. Bonnaroo. Let's play fucking Bonnaroo. I love Bonnaroo. I think it's such a tight groove, and it's one that we rarely will crack open a word document and write verses together, and that's one where we did do that. Oh, it's a triple, right? This song still hasn't gotten its day in the sun.

I don't think, Hey, we're the, we're the keepers of it. Let's play it. It's good. It's a great song. Cause it's like,

it's, it's also no, no bridge, no guitar solo. Just the, we, when we were doing screen movie screenings on the road, somebody at one of the Q and A's asked us about like who writes what for

what? And I was trying to think of examples but yeah this song didn't come up but it's a good example of mike used to walk around our old house saying something along the lines of because you like wanted to go to bonnaroo and then you didn't go to bonnaroo but i remember you being in the kitchen like cooking and be like yeah I think it was it was the idea of somebody acting like that around Bonnaroo right and it was I don't even really know the melody but then years later I remembered you doing that and then I was like what if that's a chorus of a song and then what if I write some

verses so I wrote that first verse uh Cliff Fox Cliff Foxconn boss, Luna bus too. And had the, the, the, the progression and stuff and then sent it out to you guys. And then I, like I sang your chorus, but like saying it kind of differently. And then we were like, yeah, let's work on this as a song. And then when we got in the studio, it was on the big screen typing formatting. Hey, put in a little of that. Uh, yeah, typing. Formatting. Hey, Milan, put in a little of that. Yeah, that's good.

All three of us. All of us, one finger on the keyboard. Now just two, Milan. That's a good unsung meme picture is like the music engineer guy standing over the board. You know, there's like a guy with like long dreadlocks, like looking down at board uh oh yeah i don't know if i recognize that one yeah you use it for when it's like people are like working on some you know collaborating on something they're doing what they're doing looks smart so you say it for something stupid like me and my friends trying to you know find porno or something yeah yeah it does it does have like a strong sense of like on a mission it's like the engineer is like standing up but uh crouched and he's got the

mouse in his hand and he's got that thousand yard stare and everybody's looking up at him yeah another funny one like that is um uh taika waititi holding up his iPad. Oh yeah. To wait, hell, what was her name? The actor, Kate Blanchett. Yeah. Kate Blanchett's like towering over him in this,

like they're in her crazy, like Thor get up and he's showing her an iPad and she's just like, has no expression on her face at all. I'm guessing it was like a, it was like the script on set, like punch up jokes or something on set. But I've seen people use it to be like, like when my girlfriend gets home from her job and I show her the high score,

I said on a video. Yeah, that's funny. A lot of good memes out there online. We got to get out there. Yeah. Here's one. My wife,

me explaining why I need to buy more fish in aquariums you know what memes are what a funny what a what a funny little art form it is it works it works on me i know and that's a that's a subculture that i would never think of like guys who spend too much money on fish in aquariums. Yeah. Like needing to bond over that. It's probably a whole subreddit. As this got meltier, it got even better as expected. It's a delicious drink.

So, look, good drink in hand, happy Tim in a way, right? Right, in a way. Okay. In a way. Good drink in hand, happy Tim in a way right right in a way in a way good drinking hand happy tim in a way so so in a way my my fears have been alleviated and i'm a little tipsy and i'm and i'm feeling it so i'm trying to loosen up my grip on on some of my old old-fashioned old-school values and beliefs but wait yeah so so tim this moment right right now, this is paying off the moment that you set up in Act 1. This is good.

I got to pay attention. Well, I was having a bit of a quandary when I looked at the ingredients list. That quandary. And then I was kind of mulling it over because I was like, I don't really know how to express what I need to express. But when we took a break to go make this drink, I had my ingredients all laid out, so I knew it wasn't going to take long. So first, I just needed to clear my head, and he needed to just go for a walk. So I just stepped outside. Yeah.

Yeah, got to clear your head. Wow. Yeah, so that was a quick walk, too, then. It was a short walk, but here's what's cool. As you know right now, I'm staying at a hotel on the Sunset Strip. So as soon as I stepped out there, I was right on the Strip, which is a great place to be in. Because, folks, you don't know where we are when we do this stuff.

The world of the Sloppy Boys is so expansive that we could be anywhere. I'm at home. Jeff is home. Tim is at a hotel on the Sunset. He's on the Sunset Strip, and that's normal for him. Tim, take it away. I was just ambling down the strip like breathing in the that sunset strip air i was thinking to myself tim mike's drink you're happy for your

friend this something's irking you about these ingredients but you want to tell him but but you don't want to you want to congratulate him so you got but there's just aspects of it that are challenging and i was having this thought and i could I was like visibly sort of like this guy needs, is having a hard time. What hotel are you staying at over there? Ondaz. Very nice. What?

Okay. Formerly the Continental Hyatt house, Riot house. Now it's the Ondaz. Guys, I get a tap on my shoulder and I turn around, guess who it is? On the sunset strip. I got to imagine some rocker like slasher like some pop star or something pop starlet sabrina carpenter okay okay have like the moment girl of the summer you're saying this is

she is the moment she is the moment that's what i i've been trying i couldn't think of it she is the moment she is the moment that's what i i've been trying to say i couldn't think of it she is the fucking moment this summer but she could help you articulate that because that's what she did for me i said hey you're the moment she's like yeah but you look like you're she took it in stride yeah mikey just put on a sweatband real fast and he looked like mark knopfler himself and he looked cool put a sweatband i had a a sweat band within arm's reach. You look like Michael Cassidy on stage with Don't Stop or We'll Die. I'm hoping to look like the star of Dumb Money. Oh. Paul Dano. Paul Dano. I saw that and liked it. Me too. I watched it on a plane. It was good. Tim, continue with your

story. Sabrina Carpenter, is there tapping Tim on the shoulder? She probably wants to know what is up. She tapping Tim on the shoulder she probably wants to know what is up she tapped me on the shoulder I turned around I saw her I asked her if she's a moment she said yes

she said what's up with you though you seem he's kind of pouty and I said well so I go this podcast and the cocktails

and blah blah blah and Mike made this drink and it's just I don't know what to say to him and she was like well let me help you unpack this.

She was like, tell him the truth. For someone who's so busy, for someone so busy, I'm talking about Sabrina, to sit down and say, let's unpack this, stranger, awesome. She's so cool. And you must have been going through it, though. You must have been going through it. She's so, I mean, I didn't have time to even take in the enormity of how cool it is that this huge star is here, because I was lost in my own thoughts. And she's so i mean i didn't have time to even like take in the enormity of how cool this it is this

huge star is here because i was lost in my own thoughts right and she's so down to earth she just like she's so cool and she didn't want to talk about like all the the hoopla of the pop star shit she just want to help me out and i said did you want to talk about her famous boyfriend barry keegan um i asked her about that oscar nominated the rap boy i asked her if he was in salt burn and she said yes oh did you ask her about that last shot she probably gets enough of that at home yeah right is he like i saw the last shot believe me well she says when she sees the movie she now at this point she walks out before the last shot because she's like, I don't need to see that in the movie. I got it at home.

Wow. Anyway, she says, Tim, you're troubled. When was the last time you felt this way? Oh, when is the last time you felt this way? I said, I guess I felt this feeling. Well, this story is going to take a long time. She was trying to help me figure out all my feelings. I says to her, I was was like i don't know i guess i feel this kind of way a few weeks ago when we did

the porn star martini on the podcast and uh you know i was a little troubled by it and she said i remember you were feeling some type of way i was i was i was in it and and she said porn star martinis that's that it's like that it's got passion fruit liqueur and passion pureed invented by uh douglas ankra and i was like yeah she's like oh yeah okay and then she's like that it's got passion fruit liqueur and passion pureed invented by uh douglas ankra and i was like yeah she's like oh yeah okay and then she's like let me see the recipe and i i took out my phone and i showed her the recipe for the hand slammer and yeah a big smile comes over her face and whoa that iconic smile of hers and she goes tim i think i i think i know what the deal is here i was like yeah and she was like i i think i know i was like okay great well what should i do what should i say what should i tell

mike and she's like she's like you go back there on that pod and you tell mike this great okay and uh as she starts talking i pull up my phone which was smart for me to have that phone on me. Good thing I told you to bring that. That's great. I hit record and just in time to hear her say this. Yeah. And what she's doing is she's articulating your second thoughts about the original recipe as laid out by Mike. Okay.

How I should express myself to Mike about his ingredient list. Right. I interrupted so much I lost the thread of what was going on. Nice. I got all the hit recording on. She was kind of grooving around at this part. Yeah. Nice.

She gave a lead up here. I know you have a new drink. I know you worked hard, Mike. I appreciate you toiling in your test kitchen all night. I promise to be open-minded. All co-hosts can make mistakes, but oh, Mike. All I'm asking, Michael, please, please, please use grapefruit and lime. And please, please, please use any rum that you like.

And it's cool you chose spice but orgeat's one almond thing amaretto's another it's redundant to use them both motherfucker oh please please

please that's what it was Amaretto liqueur And orgeat syrup In the same drink Yes It was that they were redundant Much like when Douglas Ancora

Used passion fruit puree And passion fruit liqueur In the porn star martini Wow Yeah Wow Okay now what was I didn't

I haven't heard her I am assuming please please please yes that was espresso it was it was espresso but she was biff at every note left and right she's really bad when she doesn't have auto-tune she's really bad she's like a first timer on guitar hero just like well that's amazing i i'm uh yeah well good for her i guess we're figuring that out and what a what a smart young woman so incisive yeah she and she got to the bottom of it i suppose was that was that your problem yeah you tell us sim was that your problem was that your problem my problem was the redundancy

of uh the two amaretto having amaretto and orgeat they're both hypothetically almond flavor sometimes you can use other you can use the pits of stone fruits or you can use other nuts or whatever. But I found that if a slop head is listening to this podcast, if they don't have Di Serrano, they can just use a little bit more Orgeat. If they don't have Orgeat, they could just use a little bit more Di Serrano. I am drinking the drink right now. It's absolutely delicious, but I just would say to any slopheads out there, don't feel discouraged if you don't have two almond flavored ingredients. That's good. Thank you, Tim.

Because a lot of the, a lot of, it's very brand specific, as Jeff mentioned before. But for this, for round two, I'm going to do no or shot. And I guess do an ounce and a half of DeSaron. I'll try that you're gonna heed her advice i'm gonna heed her advice and see if she's right because because like disaronno's got that punch orgeat and see that they're the same in they're the same flavor wise but you're gonna want the you're gonna want the proof off that disaronno i know i think orgeat probably rounds it off a little bit well how about this then wouldn't you maybe roll back the rum to roll back the to one ounce so that you have you're not

overdoing the alcohol well we don't we will we don't mind overdoing the alcohol here on the pod well i did you have well i just um i think what i'm using trader vick's brand or jott what do you guys got fee brothers don't squeeze use fees no it's it's it's in my fridge but it's it's don't squeeze your almonds i feel like i got it at trader joe's does that sound crazy um hey we didn't talk about jeff what type of uh of uh cherry did you use i i the Luxardo. I didn't take the bee sting option, Tim. Okay. Normally, I would do a Luxardo, but hey, I'm fresh out. I can't believe it.

Normally, I have one of those tanks of $30 cherries just floating around. Mine, I've got the same one I've been using for probably two years now. And it's got like the cherries, some of them that if they're like out of the sort of syrupy brine instead of syrup. Yeah, yeah. They get like crusty and sugary. Ooh, they're so good. They're like, you pull them out and they're like white. They look like E.T. on the fucking riverbank.

Well, hold on. Is that mold? What do we do? They shouldn't be white. That's appetizing E.T. on the fucking riverbank well hold on is that mold what do we do that's that's that's appetizing eat tea on the fucking riverbank dude no it's just like it's like crystallized and like dried out sugar yeah the sugar i know um i don't know what i'm doing for round two this is you nailed it you nailed it mike um mine's a little too sweet uh not not too sweet it's sweeter than what you have because i went grapefruit soda.

Right. Which is, the Feverfree is tangy. I am getting grapefruit taste through and through. Is it giving you some fizz too? Yeah, barely. You know what I mean? That's not bad. This would be a good batch drink.

I topped up. I obviously didn't shake it. You wouldn't shake a soda. You'd wait. Yeah, right, right, right. You put aside two ounces and then you do it after the fact. So maybe I will try and just dial down the sweetness a little bit, which I guess would just be not doing Orgeat.

Maybe I'll just skip the Orgeat, because I'm getting, like Sabrina says, that almond amaretto-y. I'm going to try skipping the Orgeat, too, and see what happens. Yeah, okay, great. I'm going to do the opposite of you guys. I have a surplus of Orgeat and Di Serono is my beloved sacred

ingredient that I try to hold on to. I'm going to skip my precious. I'm going to skip the Di Serono. So I'm going to do more rum, more Orgeat, no Di Serono, and I'm going to see if I get the same results. Okay. Alright, folks.

These are some big thoughts. Big thoughts from the three co-hosts. From some small men. And this is a good episode. This is what you want from the show. This is probably one of the best. Peak slops. This is peak slops. I'm going to be listening to this Please, Please, Please song. Oh, watch the video

because Barry Keoghan's in it I'll play the video while I'm making it And also just specifically This song man is so cool because it's like It's a pop song but it's like a Country vocal and she goes You motherfucker It's like so weird and so cool

Is this all like off of first album Or is she just putting singles out 1v1 Yeah Her first album isn't out yet putting singles out one b one yeah the the first her first album isn't out yet no it is well there was an album and then the one that espresso and please please please are from the upcoming album upcoming but like feather and nonsense were from the previous album we don't care about that and we'll get into it we'll get into her feather and nonsense that sounds like my nonsense knobs and broomsticks it sounds like my ren fair improv team all right all right hey this is a

good episode we're getting a little a little yes let's tighten it up and land this plane we gotta make these drinks we gotta get out of here get a little sweaty in here too i'm fucking sweaty and we gotta do the blowout after this? The better show? I know. This is enough. This is too much. Folks, here come the ads and when we come back, final thoughts. Yes!

And we're back with round two of the hand slammer. Here we go. I tried, you know, like I said, no or shot. I got the grapefruit soda. So a little sweetness there. The DeSaron is a little sweet and it's got that almond flavor. Here we go. Ooh, Jeffy happy.

Ooh, Michael, I'm beside myself. I don't know. I don't know. How'd you do it? How did you do this? How'd you do it? You just kind of. You put in the time.

I know you put in the time. From the mouths of babes. Yeah, you're around the stuff for so long. You just 10,000 hours, man. You become an expert. It just clicked. Um, you know, I heard, um, uh, Joey Ramone saying this about Johnny Ramone. One time he said like, you know, the Ramones were just the Ramones who just played power chords and stuff, but we played so many shows. We got so good.

And he was like, I remember listening to, looking at Johnny during soundcheck and he was playing power chords, but I was hearing a whole orchestra come out of that amp. Because who better, who can play power chords better in the world than Johnny? So, you know, there's a certain expertise that comes from being a sloppy boy.

And the power of repetition. Like, you know, we know. We go out on the road. We play shows all the time. We're a band. We're a band more than we're a podcast. That's for sure. We're very good, and we've gotten better this spring on tour.

I agree. I think there's sort of a renaissance happening. There's a zenith. It's something exciting. There's an infectiousness about our performances yeah there's sort of a groovement happening out there in the world and um and it does happen when you you just play night after night to screaming fucking crowds and uh the best stuff comes out it's funny when we see tape of us at the end of a tour and we're like damn uh you play different you play differently versus

the beginning yeah because then you're also you got it locked in and then you're doing little things for yourself you know you have a little bit of fun for once there's a really funny video of taylor uh the beginning and the end of the heiress tour and like the first one you can see she's just trying to like she's singing well and she's getting her steps in and at the end she's just like playing fast and loose with it. Totally. You're having fun with it. You know where the things are,

you know, it's half. Have you seen her snot video? Sorry, what? Uh, Taylor, the Taylor Swift snot video.

She thought we were trying to keep this episode tight. Oh, I thought, I thought, I thought we were doing a nasty boy episode. No, there's, there's a clip

that's been going around online where she's wearing the glimmery shimmery eras to her thing she's walking on stage and she reaches and she like just very subtly like touches her nose with her hand and looks like nothing and then she keeps walking and then they zoomed in on her hand down at her side right after and there's is dripping like a gigantic amount of snot giant boog a huge huge but that she was so easily able to like well in the split second while her hand was passing her nose she blew earth's biggest snot rocket and it's just these little tricks as being on stage you know what that's really cool i think it's cool as hell yeah but if she was like a post malone type she'd just

be able to do that thing where you put one finger on the nostril yeah yeah and you just like blow out a little hurricane of snot that's what you gotta do it's so fun i i've i've seen some videos like not this not one but some of like you know her screwing up or something it's like well you know what it's still pretty impressive the whole thing yeah it's extreme the idea of trying to make a video being like oh my god now this is not or trying to make a big thing of it at all is like so you combed through like 200 concert performances and you're like i found one thing that was off yeah and you think there's not snot at a sloppy boy show you got another thing jesus christ yeah don't even come around the drums they're covered in snot uh in the final song of our final show on tour in philadelphia we came out for the final song tom collins uh encore i moved my i i moved my

i don't know if you guys noticed i moved my mic stand and i was singing like off to stage right instead of singing out and it was because I would notice I was I had been spitting so much that whole show I knew I was like like gonna sing the final song and that's an extra spitty song and I didn't want to hit anyone because the crowd was great they were all up in my face so I turned away and I just was rocketing it off into the wings that's good man can't wait to get back out there oh i did i did no i did no orgeat in this one yeah uh i i think it needs the orgeat i think it needs a little this just feels like life did you not put enough disarono to counteract did you bump it up no i kept

everything the same except just no orgeat. So I did the opposite, right? I skipped the Di Serrano. I tripled the Orgeat and then I bumped the rum up from an ounce and a half to two ounces. And I'll say this. I now have, it balanced itself out again and it still tastes like a hand slammer. But Di Serrano tastes better than Orgeat to me yeah and di serono is a darker caramelized uh taste and my this orgeat i have is a little bit bright and sugary yeah so i think that it's better if you if you had to eliminate one i i think you're better off uh eliminating

the orgeat but i gotta say my opinion be. Thank you to Sabrina Carpenter for helping me articulate my feelings. But I got it. I think that the best, I think that the original recipe is the best Mike. It's good. Cause look, Tim, they didn't make a bunch of,

they didn't make a fleet of sexy commercials for a shot. Did they? No, no, no, they did not. They tried. Oh,

they tried to feed brothers. Hey, the fee brothers with their little mustaches were out there trying to be like, hey, you got to have or shot. I got to send a thank you out to who knows who, but at the Philadelphia show is where I got this DeSarona bottle. Remember? So just, it was just there.

Oh, shit. And at the end of that, you guys were flying back and someone was like, does anyone want that? It was like a half a DeSarona. Do you remember that? That was from Caro. That was from Caro. And she was giving the shots of these i would have instead of all the fucking other shit i was drinking i would love to know it's just be i just found it behind the merch table it was just sitting there and i said no we were divvying it

out at the end of the like we're all flying home like who wants this who wants this yeah but so this this drink would not have gotten made if that hadn't been there. Wow. Damn. Here's what you do. Damn indeed. Get yourself some vanilla ice cream. And you could even, you know, sometimes I'll even get like dryers, like the sugar-free, low-fat kind of ice cream, because then I'm going to dump a bunch of Di Serrano on top,

and it's the best, best thing on earth. I can't think of a worse name for an ice cream brand than Dryers. What about Bryers? Bryers I like better than Dryers. Dryers is dry. They must be the same company, right? Is that East Coast and West Coast?

Oh, maybe. Like Best Foods and Hellman's? Yeah. Hardee's and Carl's Jr. Okay, our final thoughts. Mike, you Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr. Okay. Our final thoughts, Mike, you're going last. Can I go first? Yeah. Tim, you go first. The Yule Mule, the Southern Sipper, the Calpe Cordial, the Russian Root. Yep. There's a long tradition of sloppy boys created drinks and as proud as i am of my contribution and as shocked as i am to say this this is the best ever sloppy boys created

it's so good mike you've redeemed yourself for the grim as piss the worst drink that we've ever had on the show i am so happy happy. You guys said that I was, were you, did you think this was going to be a mess? What did you think? No, I was interested on site. Oh,

because I gave you the ingredients that I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be great, but I thought it was, um, when you just said Tiki, um, I was like, well,

he's going to use multiple rums and lime. Uh, he didn't, he used one room, but he went with spice room. And then i was wondering what your next ingredient i thought you go with something creamy or something or something like just weird um but i don't know this is just a real drink like made by a real like a real mixologist bartender would really make this it's really good i i feel like the drinks i was making before and almost like the black lagoon jeff i bet you

had this feeling too, where you wanted to have a, what's, what's the one weird thing that someone's like, Oh my God. Like, like a shocking, like a hook,

like a gimmick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then even that, like me, me going from the textbook saying like, Oh Mike,

I think it's redundant to use these, like to have Amaretto and Orgeat in the same drink. Me, that's me condescending because i think i have great knowledge but if i was talking to some cool bartender in new york and they were telling me about their drink they'd be like you know when i was dialing this in i realized it needed both amaretto and or shot because it needed both it wasn't balanced so it kind of is just the perfect i shouldn't have fucked with it thank you to sabrina for helping me but it was unnecessary i i just you know i i thank you for that and i'm just waiting for a countdown of days until

someone finds online that this is a real drink somewhere i can't believe it either mike this is good it's it's an order again and i actually think bear with me on this one the weakness here might be the name if this was if this was me I was you, this drink would be called the Mike Hanford. Just put your whole fucking name on this thing. Okay. Like, this thing's going places. You could ride this thing's coattails to the top. Yeah.

Jeff, can I remind you of this clever wink that Mike didn't even intend? But hey, this happens. Sometimes this happens. Do you remember when he did the Alabama slammer on the show? Yeah, I think he intended it. He intended it. It's a... I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's slow gin and it's Southern comfort. Yeah. Slow gin and Southern comfort, right? But then OJ and Amaretto. So he has Amaretto here, the best kind. That was the weirdest. That was a fucking weird one, folks. Go listen to that.

That was a fucking weird drink. But then he swapped out grapefruit for the OJ and then like, you know, like Spiced Rum instead of SoCo in Slogin. So it's in dialogue with the Alabama Slammer, a cocktail famously referenced by Anthony Kiedis. So I personally like the name. Yeah. And look, Mike Hanford, it sounds,

it doesn't sound like hand slammer. Sounds like a fun, tiki summer drink. I think a person's full name, a Jefferson Dutton is like a classier drink. You know what I mean? Yeah. In a cocktail glass.

And it's kind of, yeah, you wouldn't have a tiki drink named like the Jefferson Dutton. You know what I mean? In a cocktail glass. Yeah, you wouldn't have a tiki drink named like the Jefferson Dutton. You know what I mean? Jefferson Dutton. Like the Mary Pickford was like, you know, a strong little drink

in a cocktail glass. Yeah, you're right. You don't want it to sound like a country club, young Republican society thing. This is a slammer. Mike, it's great. I agree. I do think it's i do think it's the best sloppy drink the the best the best drink to come from the brain trust right i tell you what when we start we got to get a trademark on this soon because when we start you

know batching our own cocktails and making sloppyoppy Boy brand cocktails. This is the one. We should reach out to Red Brick. Mm-hmm. You know? The whiskey company we love? Yeah. And, you know, because I just went home recently and my parents were like, you guys should make your own liquors. Yeah.

And I was like, yeah, add that to the pile. Great idea. Like, it is a great idea. But what, Mike and Tim are going to start distilling in their studio apartments we would have to invest in a distillery not not do it ourselves red brick already likes this is what i'm saying red brick they've given us stuff uh uh red wood all the red companies red wood whiskey also hooked us up with some really delicious stuff i would say this to all the

distillers listen to the show if you could get me in one bottle this is good bidding war bidding war tim instead of having spiced rum and an amaretto amaretto and ogerat give me like a almondy rum like one spirit that's like almond rum then i'm just going out to the beach with my grapefruit juice and my one bottle of red red brick almond rum then you got a little cop up popo no no no popo no no no thank you very much and that's like ready to go tiki so wait what so this has got rum and amaretto in it is what you're saying yeah that's great now you just add your add your favorite juice well we shouldn't be talking this on the pod we should be we should be talking to a lawyer about this not the yeah we should this will all be bleeped but like separate bleeps for each word

for the whole each word that's funny yeah and maybe in morse code it'll spell something out oh jeff take it away. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. And if you can't get enough boys, you know it's patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. That's where you enter your bank information. And that's where you double your pleasure every week. Can you imagine that?

And also, folks. I can imagine it. Well, I should be doing it. But also, if you're not subscribed yet, we think you're going to like it so much, so much, that we might have a little surprise coming up for the whole month of July. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. What could that be? What could that be? July's coming up. What could that be? What could that be? July's coming up. What could that be? Hmm. We don't know, but it'll be cool. And now to play us out from our second album, Dancing on the Wind,

here is a song co-written by all three sloppy boys, Bonnaroo. We'll see you next time. Don't forget your new Nalgy Coachella cuties with your bumper shirt booties Get your groove out of Bonnaroo Alright Alright Head the road to Tennessee. Camelback in my new Thule. Rooftop adapter because my car's a weird size. REI matched my price online.

Some of these festivals, man, they're just too corporate. Other festivals, well, they're just too corporate Other festivals, well, they're not corporate enough Catch a groove down the bottom roof Alright Alright Got no time for the smaller tens Point me right to the main event Go and watch whoever you want

I like the bands with the biggest fonts Bonnaroo, man, it's my second home Maybe next year I won't go alone Catch a groove down in Bonnaroo Alright! Alright! Get your groove down and follow the groove Alright Alright