The Sloppy Boys - 20. Irish Coffee
Episode Date: March 5, 2021The guys spike their bean juice.IRISH COFFEE RECIPE1.7oz/50 ml Irish Whiskey4oz/120 ml hot coffee1.7oz/50 ml fresh cream1 teaspoon sugarPour coffee into a pre-heated Irish coffee glass. Add whiskey an...d sugar and stir until dissolved. Carefully pour fresh thick chilled cream over the back of a spoon held just above the surface of the coffee. The layer of cream will float on the coffee without mixing.Recipe via the International Bartenders Association (https://www.iba-world.com/) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford.
All right, what's happening, Jeff?
Hey, all right.
And Tim Kalpakis.
Hey, top of the morning to you.
Oh, I like that.
That's a nice thing to hear.
Yep, yep, yep.
Now, you guys ever kiss the Blarney Stone?
Come on.
That thing's covered in piss.
I wish you would kiss my ass.
Come on now.
That thing's covered in piss, too.
Hey, wait.
You guys are...
You're Irish, right?
You guys?
Yes, I am, Tim. Yeah, hold on. Mike, why is your ass covered in piss too. Hey, wait. You guys are... You're Irish, right? You guys? Yes, I am, Tim. Yeah, hold on. Mike, why is your ass covered in
piss?
No, no. His is. His is. Not me.
This guy's having some toilet issues.
Here's why we're talking about Irish stuff.
St.
Patrick's Day is coming
and we're preparing by
pepping up slowly
with a peppy drink. Yes. We're preparing. Yeah, up slowly with a peppy drink.
Yes, we're preparing.
Yes, St. Pat's draws nigh.
Make sure you have a green sock to wear.
My advent calendar, it says 17 days,
and each day I open up one,
and it shows a little Guinness beer inside.
I should have a little drip of beer that you beer. Yeah, there's a skanky
ass old drip of beer.
You know what I like?
When the old, like the leprechaun
guys would have
that long white pipe.
Kind of like Gandalf's pipe. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Those are cool.
Those are pretty cool. We gotta get those.
Like from Celtic folklore.
Yeah, remember I bought one of those, Jeff.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
The big long pipe.
Yeah.
Did you pack it up with a little Pineapple Express Maui Waui?
Yeah.
Yeah, we took our cues from Rogan that day.
Well, didn't it not work or something?
No, it worked great.
No, it didn't work great.
It was like more show.
I mean, it worked. Like, it wasn't
actual pipe. But
it was more, I just
looked up Gandalf pipe on Amazon and I got
whatever came up. Oh boy,
I am looking at pipefails.com
and it's got a picture of you guys with this thing.
No, no, no.
Didn't get away from there. Looks like you put it up the
wrong end. Come on now.
Hey, what do we got for booze news? Do we have any booze news?
Oh, yeah. We should do.
We got a fan submitted theme song.
Hit it.
It's
Booze News.
Whoa.
It's Booze News.
It's Booze News.
It's
Booze News.
You son of a bitch.
Oh.
Whoa.
Booze News Fiesta.
Okay, kind of a culture clash for our St. Pat's episode. That was Booze News Fiesta by Gavin Heingel.
And I got to say, it reminds me of Sicko Mode, how you kind of start with one song and then we got a whole different song going.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, I liked it, Gavin.
Good job.
That was great.
I like that the Booze News, everyone's taking your cue of using that high voiced thing and saying booze news
oh right that was my voice too and i did not license that to gavin
get ready you're gonna be hearing from my lawyer dude uh that's our first booze news blunder here
on the pod lawyer up lawyer up gavin not a good look dude not a good look my man well what are we talking
about today i mean we have the hugest booze news of all ever which is that we this week became
master mixi bartender boys yeah we were we worked hard at it and we did it we stuck to it basically
what happened is this, folks.
We took one class.
And you can probably hear a difference in our voices and we probably seem more masterful.
A bartender by the name of Jack Schramm from a company called Gush reached out and said,
look, love the pod.
You guys, would you like to have a strong grasp of the fundamentals?
He heard our
podcast said i don't think you guys are doing everything right it's possible that you've made
an error or two or two well i think we invited that when we said we didn't like some fan favorites
like the mark like the manhattan like the negroni you know folks just because we don't love your favorite drink
don't get up our ass leave us be let us have our opinion yeah maybe we fucked it up that's
our right maybe we like fucking up and we're doing it on our own no but jack's point was a good one
which is like hey you might uh it's anyone making cocktails you probably will have more fun doing it.
If you have,
if you know the fundamentals.
And I do think on this show, when we take a little break and I go into my kitchen to make the drink,
I'm starting from scratch.
Knowledge wise.
I,
I got to remind myself of the ABCs and the one,
two threes.
I'm starting from scratch and I'm going fast.
Cause I'm trying to get back into the podcast here.
So it's like just throwing everything in.
Yeah.
Amounts are all over the place.
Yeah.
Jack had a lot of cool just little things and little reasons why you do different things
when you're building a drink, which I thought that was cool.
They have a thing they do.
Friday nights, they do something called High Bar where anyone can watch and make drinks
along and it's awesome and you should check it out.
It's cool.
They send you all the ingredients for it yeah you can you can get the stuff or you can
also do a spectator pass and just watch along if you don't want to you know just want some
entertainment i guess but we had a private lesson because we're podcast illuminati royalty we are basically rogan plus dax equals koenig and
no jeff you kind of groaned where what happens when rogan dax and koenig have a threesome
oh michael okay we're the Love Child.
Oh, Jeff, lean on that edit button, buddy.
Please.
Please.
We had a private class where we covered the basics.
We did four cocktails.
One was built in a glass, the old-fashioned.
The other was stirred, the martini.
The other was shaken, a gimlet.
And then a highball, the Tom Collins.
So we learned the like the little what
kind of tips and tricks did you guys pick up uh one i thought was interesting you use if you're
shaking a drink use more ice than you think you need i thought that was interesting yep and i feel
like we've been learning that but then it was also like even way more ice use yeah yeah and i think
where you're like you
want the glass you're pouring into to be cold yeah and even if it's up without ice you put ice in it
and then you chuck the ice when you pour the drink in it because you want the glass to be cold
or like we're going to do tonight you want to pour your thing into a warmed mug
a little foreshadowing these are good little are good little tips. Little tips, little tricks.
And yeah, I mean, he's worked at like big,
like a real cocktail-y bar type places.
The Nomad in Manhattan.
He knows what's going on.
I felt like what I picked up,
a little, like yeah, when you're like stirring,
the way you stir along the outside of the glass
and you stir until it gets cold.
Yeah, it was a bad stirrer.
I got better at that.
It's still kind of tricky. Shake shake until you're you can't shake anymore
because it's too cold for your little handies yeah and uh and like squeezing the squeezing the
orange and the lemon like getting as not a zest doing the express properly expressing it yes and
getting just a little bit of pith to hold it all together. No fruit. You want just a little bit.
No flesh.
No fruit.
No flesh.
Also, he cautioned against combining olive juice with vermouth.
Yeah.
They kind of do the same job or like-
Yeah, they don't go together.
They cancel each other out in a bad way.
So you kind of want to pick one.
Yeah.
Oh, you just reminded me of another thing he does.
This is the slop heads should do this.
When you're making a drink, ice is the last thing because you can never correct.
Once you have the ice in there, that's the drink.
But when you're building a cocktail, be it in a mixing glass or a shaker or right in the glass,
you start with the smallest amount thing and you go to the bigger volumes.
So you start with the bitters, then the the liqueur then the gin or whatever the main
liquor is and the whole reason is if you fuck up then you can stop and you're wasting less but if
you do what i do which is a big glass of ice and then gin and then the wrong thing i say honey
where's the dumpster well i just say well it looks like i'm drinking a bad drink yeah me too uh yeah
that was like he said that's a bartender thing like a bar owner is like if you're going to have to
throw out a drink throw out the cheap stuff before you add the last uh expensive thing that's a good
like fundamentals thing yeah you know like that's like hey if you want to get into this world these
are the building blocks to a good craft and now we know all that stuff and now we are... Unassailable.
Yeah.
If you could see us right now
on the Zoom,
we're all wearing fedoras
and we have waxy mustaches
and vests.
We look awesome.
We look awesome.
That was a fun time.
I had fun.
Thanks, Jack.
Thanks.
I think he listened,
so thanks to Jack for having us.
Anything else for Booze News?
No, that's it for Booze News.
Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
Woo, let's get into the fucking drink.
Yikes.
Today we're talking about Irish coffee.
Oh, pep, pep.
Ooh, I wish we were playing some little Irish music right here, Jeff.
Ooh, that would be nice.
Yeah, maybe it comes on right now.
Yes. Ooh, I hear it it i can see the rolling hills now for a long time
people have been adding spirits to coffee since the mid-19th century people were doing it in
france they were doing it in germany they were doing it in austria some of them even had whipped
cream but they weren't irish coffee like we're talking about today. No, no, no. That shit doesn't
count. There are, like a lot
of our drinks, dueling
origin stories.
But here's the big one.
In 1942,
Joe Sheridan, head chef at the restaurant and coffee
shop at Foyne's Air Base
in Ireland, added
Irish whiskey to some passengers' coffee
after some particularly rough and cold flights.
Ten years later, Stanton Delaplane was a travel writer.
He was born to do that sort of thing.
For the San Francisco Chronicle.
He had it in Ireland, and then he liked it so much
he brought the recipe to Buena Vista Cafe in San Francisco,
which served it in November 1952,
and where Joe Sheridan later came to work once he emigrated to the U.S.
Oh.
How about that?
So it's not like they stole his recipe.
He said, hey, you're doing it over there.
I'm going to come over there.
Steal it back.
And then a different Joe, Joe Jackson of the Ulster Hotel in Donegal, North Ireland, takes issue with this origin story. He says that I did this in my hotel.
I served black coffee with sugar, Irish whiskey and a layer of cream.
I invented the Irish coffee.
And he says that he got it from his time in the Merchant Navy in World War Two.
The Navy would mix rum and coffee to ward off hypothermia and stay awake at night.
And so he experimented and he came up with what we now call the Irish coffee,
which is 50 milliliters Irish whiskey, 120 milliliters hot coffee.
Ouch.
Four ounces. Not too hot. You might burn yourself. Not too hot. Another 50 milliliters hot coffee. Ouch. Four ounces.
Not too hot.
You might burn yourself.
Not too hot.
Another 50 milliliters fresh cream.
Oh.
And who could forget a teaspoon of sugar.
How do you put them all together?
You're probably wondering.
Yeah.
I thought it was just take each separately and then have them mix in your stomach.
No? Mike, have them mix in your stomach. No?
Mike, have you learned nothing?
No.
Warm black coffee is poured into a preheated Irish coffee glass.
Whiskey and at least one teaspoon of sugar is added and stirred until dissolved.
Then, fresh, thick, chilled cream is carefully poured over the back of a spoon held just above the surface of the coffee.
Just so.
The layer of cream will float on the coffee without mixing.
Fun.
And that's how you serve it, and that's how you drink it.
You drink the coffee through the cream.
You drink the coffee.
Yes, you definitely drink the coffee.
But what about my giant mustache?
Is the cream going to get tickled up in there?
Oh, Tim, you're fucked.
Jeff, is there a garnish?
No.
Really?
I mean, is the cream a garnish?
No.
No, I guess not.
The cream's part of the drink.
Some say no.
A lot of people would agree.
Some say no, and everyone else would also say no. A lot of people would agree. Some say no, and everyone else would also say no.
And one of the things that I'm going to do today that I pulled from Jack,
because I couldn't get any good coffee or any really high quality whiskey,
is I'm going to whip my own cream in the shaker.
Me too.
Oh, yeah.
I got cream from the grocery store.
I'm going to shake the hell out of it.
I might listen to that one Devo song while I'm doing it.
Yes, their cover
of Satisfaction. Oh, for
crying out loud. Continue.
That's
it. Wow.
I'm going to take a little page out of Jack's
book and I got some
Indian
cinnamon and I'm going to
right over the top.
I am going to do this to the letter of the law
iba style um but then yeah jack makes it with a few fancy ingredients that we can explain later
but what do you i want to ask you guys have you had this because i feel like i'm like irish coffee
sure i've probably had that and i can picture a few brunches where I've ordered a coffee
that was spiked but then
I was watching some YouTube videos of this
place in San Francisco the
Buena Vista Cafe and as much as
we talk about the bars of San Francisco
on this show we have not
been to the Buena Vista Cafe it's like
we've been near it because it's
near Ghirardelli Square
over by the Fisherman's Market, like touristy type area.
And it's a cool looking cafe with a cool neon sign.
But I watched a YouTube video.
They line up these glasses and they're not coffee cups.
They're like little pedestal liquor glasses.
Yeah.
And the dude, it's very cool the way he tosses a bunch of sugar cubes,
then he dumps a whole pot of coffee and splashes all over the place,
and he puts it in like 20 glasses at once.
Then he goes down the line with Tullamore Dew,
and then he fraps up the cream with like a metal cut.
With what?
Like a fucking ice cream shake maker looking thing that fraps up
the cream oh um and when i looked at the finished product i was like oh no i've not had this i uh
i've never seen it have you guys uh witnessed this i can tell you tim with all my irish honesty
i've never had one wow well and the famed Irish, honesty would really make sure that you're telling the truth.
Dutz?
Jeff, have you?
I've probably tried to add like, you know,
I've clumsily maybe added like whiskey to coffee like once or twice.
And you know what?
This drink's got a little uphill battle with the J-Man.
Oh.
He's not liking it. But before we
get into all that...
You want to make these drinks? Yeah, baby!
Yes. Alright.
Folks, we'll be right back.
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to slow down for a second and talk about
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We're back in.
Irish coffee's in hand.
Did you guys overshake your cream and turn it into butter?
Almost.
No.
My cream is still creamy.
I shook it a ton.
I shook mine so hard that I churned it,
and now I got country crock on top.
This whole thing, I think, is going to be terrible. Okay, let's sip. I got country crock on top. This whole thing I think is going to be terrible.
Okay, let's sip.
I got a lot to say.
Oh, baby.
That is delectable.
Ooh, Mike, you made a face.
What's going on, buddy?
Use your words.
Tell your friends.
I don't want to use my words.
Well, and a podcast is a very
verbal medium mike well uh yeah especially if we're talking about uh usual suspects anyway
oh what a movie buff verbal can't look it up folks well here's my biggest problem let's not
start with the problems what What do you guys think?
No!
You kicked us off with a frown.
The cat's out of the bag.
What are you... Come on, you're having a great time over there.
Let's hear about all the weird mistakes you made.
Did you use an ashy glass?
What did you do?
Okay, so
I got decaf
coffee. Sure.
Because it's late here.
It's 9.15.
I'm going to put a, it's not late, but it's too late for coffee.
Okay, but you didn't just get decaf coffee.
You got.
I got instant coffee because they didn't have any other type of decaf coffee.
And I don't have a coffee maker.
So what the hell am I going to do?
Sure.
And I think that is a big problem here.
This does not taste good.
You should have gone to Starbucks and got a nice, good decaf.
Oh, that's not a bad idea, Timmy.
But Mike, you boiled water and you added the decaf crystals to the...
That's how you do it, right?
Yeah.
I don't use instant.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
I don't drink coffee, and this is bad.
I've had coffee before, and this is not good.
And I guess I didn't shake the cream enough.
The cream is not as hard as I'd like it to be.
And instead of sugar, I used simple syrup.
That was the recommendation.
Well, that seems okay.
It almost seems like simple syrup you could was the... Well, that seems okay. The recommendation. It almost seems like simple syrup
you could use like in any coffee, huh?
Yeah.
It would dissolve quicker.
Something for you coffee drinkers out there.
When you're at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf,
they do have a little bottle of syrup on there.
That's the same.
Well, I usually pop in there
if I'm making a cocktail.
Mike, let's talk cream.
Yeah.
I went looking for heavy whipping cream in a small bottle.
It's fucking impossible to find.
That's what I got.
I got that.
I was just trying not to come home with a half gallon of heavy cream.
And so I got regular.
It just said whipping cream in a small bottle, not heavy whipping cream, which was also there in a big bottle. I got the little bottle of whipping cream and you know what suits me just fine.
I like that Jeff. I'm glad. Well, I'm going to mix this up a little more. Maybe that's the
problem. It's just not, I shook the hell out of it, but I didn't want to end up with a solid
like a Jack warned. I didn't hear that warning and i if i had heard it i'd have heeded
it it was in an email damn um my cream situation is guess what my cream is from uh leftover from
the golden dream because i was that's old cream that's a long time ago it was a very long time
ago and i was so insistent i'm like you je, Jeff. I was like, I'm not going to buy yet another big cream just to dump it all out in a month.
And I had a big-ass cream in my fridge, and I was like, I'm using it.
And yesterday, I looked at the label, and it is a week past expiration.
All right.
And I smelled it, and it smelled only a little funky
but i said maybe that's just like around the cap yeah so i used it and it worked okay that's good
on the cap did you did you though you know you're gonna use your own cream do you still go to the
store and say i'm not using this cream because i got some at home yeah i don't need to use this
the guy at albertson said that for future reference,
like when you want to use your own creams,
you don't need to go to the dairy section and fill them in about that at all.
Like you can just go ahead and they don't care.
They just don't care.
He's like,
don't lecture me.
I have stuff to do.
I don't know you and I don't like you.
Let's talk whiskey.
Whiskey makes me frisky. What else? What else is there to say? I didn't get you, and I don't like you. Let's talk whiskey. Whiskey makes me frisky.
What else is there to say?
I didn't get the fancy stuff.
I did Jameson's, a classic standby Irish whiskey.
Jeff, you're not alone.
I'm with you, my man.
Jameson's.
Yes.
Whiskeroo.
You guys, hold on one second, because Timmy's on board.
He got Jameson.
Oh, it's Jameson time.
Zazu.
But this is interesting
because our cocktail genius friend, Jack,
said that he likes to use Powers whiskey
because it's full bottled.
And at full bottled.
Full bodied.
I guess it's full bottled.
Because they sell a full bottle of it.
It is full bottled.
You'll find most liquors are sold full bottle.
The Buena Vista Cafe in San Francisco uses Tullamore Dew because it's gentle.
And they did warn against some of the harsher ones.
So when I'm tasting this coffee, I got to say it's working for me.
And I'm kind of loving this kind of velvety mouthfeel.
But Jameson's is kind of a sharp, harsh taste.
It's poking out.
I like it, though.
I'm tasting the Jameson's, cutting through pretty good here.
I like the proportions, too.
Whenever we make these drinks, I'm always like,
only a half a cup of coffee?
Like a literal half cup.
Right.
And I think that's not enough to make anything I want to drink.
Sure enough, the proportions
work so great. Loved it on the first
sip. I'm still loving it.
Well, my other issue with the coffee,
as I was pouring it into my mug,
well, don't you know, it
spilled out onto my fingers and burned my fingers.
Yeah, this was
a mess to me. Boiling hot water.
Between making coffee and boiling water and shaking
cream, my kitchen's a fucking mess after making this tiny drink. It was a mess to me. Boiling hot water. Between making coffee and boiling water and shaking cream,
my kitchen's a fucking mess after making this tiny drink.
It was a lot to do.
The cream's all over.
I mean, with all that work and all that prep,
the writing is on the wall that this might be appointment only,
but I'm not going to get to that for until the-
Don't get ahead of yourself.
And we don't know, like, maybe Hanford will come around
and love his drink by a fine chance.
Yeah, maybe I'll get so drunk off this whiskey that I love anything.
Hey, I wanted to ask you guys about Jameson though.
What do you want to know, Tim?
A, I got my ass reamed because I said one week,
I didn't know what the difference between bourbon and rye was.
And I was talking out of my ass and I said that rye and Irish whiskey are similar.
They are. I'm tasting this right now. It tastes a lot like rye. But my question for you guys is, Jameson as a
brand used to be king. Yeah. I remember we heard from a bartender, maybe at Bird's, that people
would order Jameson two to one more than any other name brand liquor at all. Yeah. Okay.
I feel like it's fallen off, right?
Is Jameson's not as popular as it once was?
I still hear like shots of Jameson.
You know, I feel like it's good in the shot community.
But you're right.
I mean, the name doesn't have the panache it once had.
It's a nicer whiskey than like Jack Daniels and Jim Beam, right?
Gotta be.
Considered.
You're talking about a different genre.
So like it's got its own levels of Jameson even, you know, and you can go right up the shelves with, you know,
separately Irish whiskey versus bourbon versus rye.
But their name brand recognition, I feel like they they were king and then like 10 years ago i started seeing billboards and ads for um bush mills and
then i started hearing about tullamore dew and then more recently i think i um somebody on youtube
said that proper 12 is is really good for irish coffee and then it's catching up to Jameson in popularity overall. But maybe
Jameson is...
They haven't made enough zigs and zags.
Flop era.
They haven't really done anything to say,
hey, for Gen Z.
They need to come out with a
fiery sort of cinnamony
shot fireball type of thing.
They need a TikTok dance.
Yeah, really. And they need to go viral like yesterday. shot fireball type of thing. They need a TikTok dance.
Yeah, really.
They need a TikTok dance and they need to go viral
like yesterday.
When I went to the liquor store,
the one I found that had Powers,
I went there and I said,
okay, let me see this Powers here.
It's a huge bottle for $70.
I was like,
I think I'll take that tiny bottle you
got right behind you there for whatever five goodbye and as far as that bottle of powers
why don't you take it put it up your own ass and leave me alone guys i was just licking the cream
out of my glass me too i got this glass stuck on my chin and i panicked while you guys were
talking i hope you didn't see but but it suctioned onto my chin.
Oh, boy.
I pulled it and went.
Oh.
I think that happens to a lot of the San Franciscans that drink.
You know, it happens to Joe Rogan all the time.
That's like somebody from Aesop's people getting their head stuck in a jar.
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
Or Winnie the Pooh, was that his thing?
You know what this reminds me of?
What?
I'm going to tell it.
We might cut it.
Tell it!
We were all at a bachelor party.
Oh, yeah.
One of the...
Do you know what I'm going to say?
Yes, I know this one.
Say it, but you'll bleep my name.
Tell it for Tim, but cut it.
Okay, we got some exotic dancers
no funny business and we you know i mean it's a funny business to be in but continue yeah oh yeah
uh and we said help yourself to our snacks and you know there's some drinks over here whatever
and one of them got their hands stuck in a family-sized carton of goldfish because they
wouldn't they grabbed too big a handful of goldfish
and they were trying to shake the carton off their hands.
And it reminded me of,
there is like a Grimm's fairy tale or something
about like a squirrel who got stuck in a trap
because they couldn't, their greed put them at risk.
You know, like if they only grabbed just enough they would have
been fine but they were too greedy and they got stuck in the trap and they shall have none i
remember that even as that that parable being updated like like maybe on like the tv show
dinosaurs it was like oh you reached for too many pickles and you can't get your hand out of the pickle jar. It's a timeless tale.
Oh, my God.
Well, yeah, my chin wanted so much cream that I got stuck.
And I did panic for one second.
Like, my heart skipped a beat.
And I had that feeling of, like, I'm stuck.
You know when you get, like, you're in a car and the seatbelt gets, like, stuck tight.
You're like, oh, my God, I'm never getting out of this.
Oh, that's terrible.
They got too overzealous with the seatbelt.
Anyway.
Did you put cinnamon in your under drink?
Oh, fuck.
I totally forgot.
I had a fun time, you know, kind of microplaning it in there.
And I think the cinnamon is good.
So you have a stick and a grater?
I got a stick, yeah.
And cinnamon was a tip from Jack, right?
Right. Yes. I went to the
spice store he recommended
and somewhere in
Manhattan, I forget what it's called.
It's a bazaar.
I forget what it's called.
Is it Rockefeller Center, I want to say?
Yeah, yeah.
30 Rock. It was the gift shop of 30 Rock.
Yeah.
And you walk in there and my, you know,
believe me when I tell you,
I've never seen so much spice in my entire life.
It was rows and walls of spices and lentils
and this and that.
Oh, man.
And people are buying this stuff.
And I said, you know what you're doing here.
Only in New York.
I long for the days where people would be like famous merchants
because they would come to port with all the finest silks and spices.
Well, Jeff, all you'll need to do to find a good story about spices
is when Doom comes out in theaters next summer.
Doom?
Oh, Dune.
Did I say Doom?
No, it's just
all garbled from the internet.
They should put Doom on
theaters. That would be dope.
Could you imagine playing Doom on a
theater screen? Let's bring it back
to the drink. Yeah. Why?
Because
I have something to say. Because you want to talk
about something that sucks? I have something to
say. Me, Jefferson Dutton.
Finally, it is my time.
Isn't that the strangers with candy thing she says all the time?
I have something to say.
I don't know.
I'm not really a comedy fan.
Continue.
How do you feel about this versus the hot toddy?
A hot toddy.
Well, I love them both.
This is more exciting
Well this is sort of a Sophie's Choice situation then
Here's what I'm thinking
At late at night
Cozied up on the couch
Watching a film
I'm reaching for the hot toddy
Out at brunch
With my boys looking to start the day off
Right?
I'm reaching for the irish coffee one goes
up one goes down yeah you better not be drinking this on the couch at night tim you'll be up
till you'll need another coffee in the morning um on a serious note i'm probably gonna have to
have some z-quill tonight in order to sleep um yeah you probably will yeah i I did decaf. I'll admit it. Here's what I say to the hot toddy and this Irish coffee.
I say dump them both out and give me a goddamn tequila sunrise.
Awesome.
That's right, folks.
He's the best.
I want to drink tequila sunrise.
He's the king.
Thank you. I go this over tequila sunrise. He's the king. Thank you.
I go this over hot toddy.
Absolutely.
Ten times out of ten.
It's delicious.
I bet this is like one of those ones if I,
if somebody makes it for me properly,
I will enjoy it.
Let me ask you,
we should do a little bit of,, to quote, uh, Linda Richmond coffee talk.
What is your Mike? You've been getting off the coffee lately, Jeff. You, what is your daily
coffee in intake? Because coffee at night, I never have it, but I was watching an episode of
all in the family and they brought out
after dinner coffee.
And then I feel like I've seen that in the old days, people would have coffee or, you
know, you're at a diner, like in high school, people would drink coffee and diner.
Do you ever have coffee other than the morning, Joe, and then the afternoon pick me up?
I would, I drink two cups of uh in the morning soon as i wake up
but one after the other like you you one after the other railroaded cannonballed is that out of like
is that out of like boredom out of what well out of like boredom because when i was drinking coffee
a lot i would have three in the morning just because it was like something to do yeah i don't
know honestly i do the bad thing they tell you not to do when you wake up,
which is like I do a solid like half hour of looking at my phone
and drinking coffee before I shower and whatever else.
Me too.
I do that thing where I wake up, I go for a five-mile run,
I read the entire newspaper and get a lot of writing done
before I even eat breakfast.
Michael.
I do that.
Tell me the newspaper isn't the gray lady it's the whole thing too and
then i have insightful conversations for the rest of the day oh shit i hate that thing
as far as the after dinner coffee thing i feel like we've had we've had big dinners or whatever
where they come around say dessert coffee and occasionally people will say, like, I'll do a coffee.
And if I know we're going to hang out after dinner or something, I'll do a coffee.
That's nice.
At an Italian restaurant, instead of dessert, you get cappuccino.
It looks so fun, but I'm too scared of the caffeine.
Especially an espresso.
Mike, what's your take on espresso?
Why do they call it espresso?
Is it because it just makes you move?
Okay, now, Jeffff you were saying i just don't know why they call it expresso that's all go ahead that's it uh yeah i don't know
fuck i know the the coffee the coffee after the the dinner is feels like an old time an old like
80s 90s thing adults would do it adults but i don't know i wonder if
adults are doing it now what about all the 90s people in seattle hanging around the coffee shops
and they're saying hey give me a latte give me a macchiato tim do you remember a time this was
when we were living in la or like we didn't have we still have like day jobs and we had to go in the morning to drive through traffic to do a day job.
Do you remember when I drank a bunch of coffee in the morning and got to work and I got on instant messenger or whatever and started talking to you about Pavement, the band?
No, I got like I was like firing.
I got really excited about Pavement and I was like firing off all these messages to you.
And we were talking about it.
I was like, oh man, sorry.
I think I had like way too much coffee this morning.
I do have a memory of like you and I being into Gold Sounds or some of the Cro crooked rain stuff. Maybe it was
all influenced by caffeine.
It was all, yeah, it was a conversation
that was fueled by
coffee and it just felt like
the closest I've been
to a cocaine high where I'm getting a lot
done, but it's just coffee and talking to you
about a band.
Mike, I don't remember you
not drinking coffee. I know you do tea sometimes
but it is is this a recent thing yeah this was when uh i went to the doctor my blood pressure
was in a super hypertension level and i they thought the level that says go see a doctor
immediately okay it was the time i went to the doctor yeah i went to the doctor and my blood
pressure was i went for like my knee something with my knee and they took my blood pressure
because i hadn't been to the doctor a while they're like whoa this is really high they're
like let's just they did like try to take it a few more times they're like just see the doctor
and then um and then uh before leave, we'll take it again.
Just see if it calmed down or something.
I was like, okay.
And they took it again.
They're like, okay, go home.
Come back in four hours and we're going to do it again.
So I went back to the doctor.
I went back to the doctor.
And I sat in his office.
And the nurse came in to do my blood pressure.
And she did it. And she was like, whoa, it's really high I was like oh man she's like hold on and she went out into the hallway
where she talked to the doctor and she was like okay the blood pressure guy's back
I was I was known in the office as the blood pressure guy because it was like
it was something like 200 over 100
going off all the instruments
it was insane
you can hear them on the whole
the fucking guy he's back
we hate when he comes here
she said
before she said the blood pressure guy's back
she showed it to another nurse
a different nurse and the other nurse was like oh shit before she said the blood pressure guy's back, she showed it to another nurse,
a different nurse,
and the other nurse was like,
oh, shit.
They had this conversation right outside my little waiting room.
Okay.
You're like a famous, fabled patient to them.
So if you got a pinprick,
the blood would just shoot out of you.
I'm under control now.
But yeah, they said stay off coffee and other things, I guess.
I've had the embarrassing thing of, because I'm like,
they told me I'm not Hanford levels, but I'm like borderline.
So when I go in for my annual physical, I'll, they'll kind of be like,
yeah, home, uh, one, one 35 over 90. That's a little high. Do you have any blood pressure in
your high blood pressure in your family? And I'll be like, yeah, I do. And they're like,
and so right now, like, are you nervous? And it's so embarrassing. Like the idea I'm like,
I don't know. Maybe I have no idea, but, but but but it's it's it's so funny that that's an
aspect to it that you could just be sitting in a doctor's office and they know that you're your
blood pressure went up and i can't lie to them i've had that thing where i accidentally hold
my breath when they do it right right right right and they have to and i and i and they're like oh
it's like you're dying or something. My heart will just be like, the fuck?
The fuck?
You flatline.
Yeah.
So then I have to be like, oh, sorry, I held my breath.
But I kind of instinctively will do that sometimes.
Well, it's a weird thing.
It is a weird thing.
But then again, life can be weird.
Hey, would you guys mind if I just change the subject for a second?
Sure.
So I was online the other
day, the internet, and I came across
this guy who does movie
reviews. And I said, wow, this
would be a cool segment for the show. So I
contacted him. His name is Zuby Condorino.
He's a great guy.
And he
agreed that he'd come on
the show and record a little piece for us
and do a movie review.
He said he I've said we could call it Booze News Movie Reviews.
That might be funny.
Yeah.
He reviewed a movie that came out and did it specifically for us.
And here we go.
Oh, yeah.
So this is Zuby Condorino with the with his movie review.
Hey, OK.
movie review hey okay hey welcome movie goers to booze news movie reviews with me zuby condorino today i'm talking about the latest from warner animation
tom and jerry now let me just ask you something let me just no hold on let me just ask this one thing i just gotta ask who the hell
gives two bullshits about a cartoon from the 1940s okay no no no please enlighten me are you honestly
gonna take time during your day put money down and say you know something i think i want to go
see a silent cartoon cat and mouse from the fuckin' 40s clown around for an hour
and a half.
Who the fuck has time for this movie?
Now hey, no, no, come on, no, no, no, don't get me wrong, okay?
I don't have anything against silent mice on a movie screen, alright?
I think the Sorcerer's Apprentice segment on Fantasia
is one of the most eloquently
designed and executed
pieces of cinema
bar none.
But as for Tom and Jerry,
I watched 30 seconds
of the trailer for this
10-ton pile of
hog shit, and I could
feel my chicken piccata lunch about to jump back
out of my throat and pay me a little visit all over my laptop screen.
And trust me, getting barf all over my brand new Dell Inspiron 5000 with a 15.6 inch screen doesn't particularly interest me.
It's brand new.
Got it from Best Buy Computers.
Very good condition.
Okay, now, hey, wait.
Let me return back to the point that I'm trying to make here, alright? make it all right i was furious at myself for even watching 30 seconds of this rottweiler diarrhea
stain of a trailer got me all riled up i had to take a steam bath just to unwind now as any fan
of my channel knows i am trying to live my life to the, comprehending that every breath could be my last.
And here I am, watching the Grim Reaper inch closer and closer while I'm looking at a screen with the likes of Chloe Grace Martez having a failing comedic quip exchange with a few thousand cells of feline animation.
Not my idea of a good time at the movies. So it comes down to this. My final grade
for this scum bucket of loose toed fecal matter of a movie is an F. But hey, look, no, hey, come on.
If you want to go, no, hey, no, no, but hey, look, if you want to go watch 101 minutes of your life being sucked out for all eternity time,
I guarantee you will not get back.
Then by all means, be my guest, okay?
But I got to tell you, I don't know when this thing comes out.
I don't know what theaters it's going to be in.
And I don't even know if it's streaming anywhere.
And honestly, I don't give a flying rat shit fuck.
All right, I got to cut it right here
because I got to jump on the phone
with a representative from the Jersey City Ocean Adventures Company.
I'm trying to get back my money from a whale watching endeavor
that was canceled in October due to COVID restrictions.
that was canceled in October due to COVID restrictions if you actually believe that this pandemic isn't a full-blown hoax.
That's it for Booze News Movie Reviews with your host,
which is me, Zuby Condorino.
And as always, grab me a popcorn, would ya?
And no salt, I got a sodium thing.
Take it easy.
Okay, there we go.
That's Zuby Condorino's movie,
Booze News movie review.
Okay.
You heard it here first, folks.
Tom and Jerry, skip it.
Zuby is not a fan.
In his many words, skip it. Zuby is not a fan. In as many words, skip it.
You know, I asked him, I said,
Zuby, can I cut this down at all? He said,
don't touch a thing. I said, alright. I don't know
what you would cut. I mean, the thing about his
Dell Inspiron computer?
No, he wants to get all
the info out.
He wants to get out there.
He's a journalist.
Thanks, Zuby.
Thanks, Zuby.
Folks, we'll be right back.
Guys, I would not normally make a whiskey ginger with rye.
I'm not going to tell anybody.
Hey, that's a secret.
I got one of these San Pellegrino ginger beers.
Oh, I've never had that.
It looks great.
It's a little not as good as the Bundaberg.
All right.
Hey, folks, we're back with our final thoughts on the Irish coffee.
What do you think?
Michael, we know you don't like it. No, I'm not drinking this again. No way. We're back with our final thoughts on the Irish coffee. What do you think, Michael?
We know you don't like it.
No, I'm not drinking this again.
No way.
I'm not making it myself.
That's for sure.
No way.
No way.
No way.
No how.
Yeah, this was a combination of bad coffee.
And I honestly think it's the bad coffee that did it.
Damn.
Well, let's say you had maybe the highest quality coffee.
Yeah, what if it was simply delectable?
Oh my God, I would have one every morning.
Timothy?
I love it. I'm going to have it a lot
and I thought of an anecdote I wanted to share.
Ooh.
I was just thinking during the break
about, I was thinking of coffee
and then I was Who could blame you? Is it for closers? Yes. No, I was just thinking during the break about, I was thinking of coffee.
Sure.
Who could blame you?
Is it for closers?
Yes.
No, I was just thinking, Mike, do you remember, we were in Seattle for the birthday boys doing Sketch Fest, and then we went to the original Starbucks.
Were you both there for that?
Jeff, were you there for that?
No.
When was this?
10 years ago.
We were in Seattle for the, oh, I don't know.
No, I think it was just us, because here was a funny adventure.
We went to...
There's the place out there where they throw a fish at you, and you go, whoa, and then
you walk around the touristy spot.
And we went to the original Starbucks, and I got a coffee, and that was the thing.
But then, me and Mike had some time to kill before we went back to the airport to fly
to LA.
So we were just walking around the city,
killing a whole Sunday afternoon.
And we both had these big backpacks because we had a camping sketch that we
were doing.
And we had all of our clothes for the weekend in these camping packs.
So we were like hauling them everywhere.
And Mike,
do you remember we were like at near like the Marina or whatever.
And a dude,
like an older guy walked up to us and
he was like hey just want to say i really admire what you guys are doing like we're like we're
trekking around the country yeah he he was like an old kerouac uh on the road guy and he thought
that we were just going where the wind takes us and and he went on a whole thing about how cool
what that it was and he was happy so you were doing it and then we i got it and i was like
i'm not gonna say anything and then mike you were like well yeah because we're flying back to
burbank later and like we have we explained like we both have like entertainment jobs in los angeles
in offices what could be the least?
Well, thanks, sir.
But we're flying back to Burbank now.
I wasn't too, you know, I wasn't hyped on that trip.
That was a rough one.
They were mean to us.
Tim and I stayed in a shitty, the whole, the whole sketch fest put you up in like, not in a hotel, but like people volunteered and you could stay at their house.
you up in like not in a hotel but like people volunteered and you could stay at their house uh yeah we stayed tim and i stayed upstairs in this guy's attic that wasn't finished and like
you could hear wind like coming through the cracks and walls and stuff it was freezing it was freezing
i slept on a military car it was so cold and the guy was in a ne Young cover band. Yeah. That's back when like any city could be like,
uh, Sketchfest Bangor, Maine.
We were like, we'll fly.
We'll pay our own way.
Yeah, we'll fly.
But we did have some great Cuban sandwiches at one point.
Yes, we went to Paseo in Fremont
and had some delicious Cubanos.
Jeff, what are your final thoughts on the Irish coffee?
It rules.
Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's great.
Yeah, it's great. Honestly, it's even better than appointment only.
And also, appointment only isn't a distinction of quality necessarily. It's not like, oh, it's so bad, I only want it when it's appointment only.
It's a certain distinction.
Oh, I love a certain distinction. as long as it's that little distinction
it's not a mark of like a lack of stars you know of low quality but this this is like i wouldn't
do this all the time because it's like a weird thing to have a bunch of caffeine and um you know
what do they call it uh a speedball it's kind of a, it's like a poor man's speedball. It's like an upper and a downer at the same time. It's a little confusing to the system.
Yeah. I think that you should write a book about cocktails and it's called appointment only. And
then when they adapt that to be a movie, they don't want to use the same title. So they call
it a certain distinction. A certain distinction sounds like an erotic fanfic i know like a 50 shades
it's it's kind of like a cocktail guy who's a real take charge he's got a little black
book with appointments for all of his drinks don't end up in my book i've got you at the
end of the movie he's like i've got you penciled in for februth. He fell in love.
Well, I'll say this.
Irish coffee, I've got you pegged.
Well, surely somebody has an additional segment.
Oh, that's it for the Irish coffee.
Okay.
Now, here we go.
Let's put this baby to bed.
The coffee has not kicked in yet, if you know what I mean.
No, no, no.
We've been talking.
I think one of you guys mentioned coffee during this podcast.
Oh, yeah.
And that means that it's time for the javalanche.
What was that sound?
That was the sound of the javalanche.
Yeah, that means it's time for the...
Okay.
Did I toast out here?
I'll hold it farther.
It's time for the...
The javalanche.
Oh, much better.
Night and day, Tim.
Go on.
Okay, well, that MP3 was called Avalanche Sound Effect,
so I don't think it did its job.
Maybe I over-modulated it. Tim, I thought it did its job maybe i over modulated tim i thought
it was a coffee bean grinder that's what i thought maybe it was coffee beans in an avalanche yeah was
it a coffee bean avalanche tim yes i searched uh a sound archive for a coffee bean how did you pick
here's basically i mean you've had um you've heard of quizzes and you could imagine what a coffee
quiz would be like and you could imagine that I would put together a coffee quiz that has like a
lot of interesting facts that are kind of cool.
Right.
And,
but let's say that there's not just a couple of questions.
What if there's so many questions that it's almost a
javelin.
Yeah. What if indeed?
Yeah, what if?
But that's not this, is it?
Oh, I brought
it up as a hypothetical and now the twist
turn is that it's happening today.
Oh, fuck. Oh my god.
And we're stuck in the middle of it.
Yeah, you're stuck and you can't
get out of it. Guys, you're stuck and you can't get out of it.
Guys, I'm going to ask you trivia questions about coffee,
and you are going to blurt them out.
You don't buzz in.
You don't say your name.
You just try to win the game.
Nice.
Are you ready for the – I'm not going to play the sound effect again,
but, you know, it's the Java Lanch.
Okay, Java Lanch.
Java Lanch begins, and here we go with question number one.
The classic 80s commercial Peter Comes Home.
Folgers.
Was an at... Oh, my God.
Michael is fast.
Folgers.
What did you even say?
Folgers?
Folgers.
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
Now, keep it moving as part of the Java Lange.
Next question.
Yeah, yeah.
Java Lange doesn't slow down.
Abigail Folger, the heiress to the Folgers coffee fortune,
was murdered by what deranged hippie family?
Whoa, Manson.
Yes, Michael.
I was thinking of deranged hippie families.
I was like, what's the one?
There are so many to choose from.
What industrial rock band recorded a hit album in the house where Abigail Folger was murdered?
Nine Inch Nails.
Yes.
Michael, how do you feel about that?
I was about my first thought was, what is industrial rock exactly?
Now, quick, before we move on, not to hold up the javelin.
I thought that that was the Sharon Tate house, but it's not.
It is.
It is?
Was she hanging out with Tate?
She and Jay Sebring, a famous hairstylist, were hanging out with Sharon Tate.
Oh, interesting.
I wonder if they named the Sebring convertible after that guy.
If there are any Pontiac people listening, reach out.
Let us know where the Sebring car name came from.
Moving on.
Even if there's any Chrysler people.
Guys, honestly, it's time for more of the...
Chabalange.
Yeah, keep it coming.
Okay. I'm amped up now in this coffee this decaf coffee in the 1990s which brand of coffee made a series of soap opera style commercials telling the ongoing
house no telling the ongoing love story about a couple dating bonding over a certain brand of folders no fuck you can
keep guessing i know this you can guess all you know this yeah taster's choice yes oh fuck
my parents love that shit that's so funny i didn't realize it's like the two hands that
are like kind of petting each other like they're touching they they revisited it over years like they they would
like slowly dole out what's going on with this couple like they meet for coffee but then they're
not dating but then they are and then eventually they get married and eventually they became the
nest cafe gold blend couple that was like when they were married okay moving on with the Javalanche. Name the film that this quote comes from.
You ready?
Yes.
Goddamn, Jimmy.
This is some serious gourmet.
Twin Peaks.
This is some serious gourmet shit.
Usually me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried taster's choice.
Yes, it is Pulp Fiction.
Goddamn it.
Also, Twin Peaks is a show, not a movie.
I was going to say Fire Walk With Me.
I should have had a Twin Peaks question because of the damn fine coffee, but I didn't think to do it.
That's where I was going.
Was that Sam Jackson who did that line?
Because you did a great impression.
Thank you.
And he's talking to Quentin Tarantino in the kitchen there.
Very funny.
Wow, Tarantino.
Okay, moving on.
Who said this?
Uh-huh.
very funny okay moving on who said this uh-huh you cannot pee into a mr coffee and get taster's yes dana carvey he's critiquing uh well water world yummy yummy in a 1998 commercial for the 10-10-2-20 long-distance phone call code,
which famous comedian said this?
Wow, buck 75 for a cup of Joe?
Spade.
Oh, no.
Close.
No.
Buzz Melman.
No.
Bud Melman.
He was once impersonated by Dana Carvey on Weekend Update.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit.
I know his fucking name.
Dennis Miller.
No.
Yes, that's the one.
Okay, now...
Wait.
Just to slow things down.
Who's the guy...
You can't stop the Java Ledge.
Who's the blonde Boston comedian who's like...
Dennis Leary. A real snarky dennis larry it sounds like a
a dennis larry type line also that was funny remember 10 10 220 and then 10 10 3 2 1 had
david arquette and it was like a whole thing like dial down the dial down the center um okay here
we go here's a film question so So, Jeff, you better get ready.
Okay.
In Back to the Future.
Marty and Doc.
Marty goes to a diner and he served a cup of black coffee.
What line did he say that prompted the server to give him that cup of coffee?
They've got a whole little who's on first thing going on. Back to future one back to the future part one coke diet cola he starts off by saying i'll have a tab and the guy says
deb you haven't even eaten yet and then he says i'll have a pepsi free and he says if you
you're gonna pay for it and And then Marty gives up and he says, just give me something without any sugar in it.
Okay.
And out comes the coffee moving on with the job.
Here's another film in the hit film,
Jack and Jill,
Adam Sandler's character shows Al Pacino,
a rough cut of the Dunk
of Donuts.
Yes, but listen. He shows
Pacino a rough cut of the
Dunk of Chino commercial they've made together.
Yes, yes. What is Al Pacino's
response? Burn this!
Burn every, all copies.
That is, that's really
funny. It's so funny.
I don't even know if i've seen that whole movie
but i've jeff i think told me about the duncacino thing um you know what i heard you know what i
heard about that was that like first of all robert smigel directed that commercial i don't think he
directed all of jack and jill maybe he did well you you just stepped on the next question and
blew it but yes you're right he's not a he's not a credited writer on
the film overall but genius.com did give him songwriting credit for that song so i think
somebody told me a story about how like it was it was taking too long to shoot and uh
pacino was there standing like looking like an idiot and he was like robert robert oh it's so funny and pacino's so good in it i always hate celebrity cameos in comedies
and he his dancing is so great and he and just the idea like it's not al anymore the name's dunk
dunk and to see him go so like hard into committing to it and then watching it and being
like burn this it's so funny what was he thinking what do you think was happening when he was like
hey he's a committed actor he was good on the day guys i would love to talk pacino and smigel but
it's time for more draw the lunch okay and it's still a film question. The film Coffee and Cigarettes was directed by whom?
Jim Jarmusch.
Yes.
Duddy Buddy is catching up.
I almost said Jake Jarmusch.
Would that have been acceptable?
Yes, but you didn't say.
For anyone interested, I just watched Ghost Dog.
I always like Down by Law.
Very funny one.
Okay, moving on.
When you are greeted at Starbucks, what does the barista say?
What can I prepare for you?
So close.
What can I get started for you?
There it is, Michael Hanford.
What can I get started for you today?
Gadoosh.
That's not what they say to me when I go to Starbucks.
They say, oh, shit.
Here comes that dude.
Here comes that dude. Here comes that motherfucker.
And now, I'm going to give you a famous song lyric, and you give me the name of the band.
Ooh.
The best soy latte that you've ever had.
Oh.
Is this some, like, Seattle 90s bullshit?
Nope.
It's a hit song you know the best soy latte that you ever had
oh boy i'm gonna give you the song title and then you still have to say the band
okay drops of jupiter train jefferson rain oh uh sticking with a little bit of music here.
Mitsubishi Makiato was the working title of the most recent album by which current American rock band?
Foo Fighter.
What?
Foo Fighter.
The album was eventually officially titled Father of the Bride.
Ah, Vampire Weekend.
Oh, fuck.
I was going to say it.
Fuck.
Also, that's not my band.
I shouldn't have that point.
Mike, you should have that point.
I gave Mike the point.
Wait, was there?
No, there was no.
I was just very close to getting it.
Tim, I was so close to getting it.
Okay, okay, okay.
Here we go.
Can you put that down?
Stan the Java Man was a hit character on this. Seinfeld mad tv it's curb curb curb it's mad tv god damn it fuck what am i wait who's
the one from curb java joe java joe but jeff i'm gonna give you uh a side point because the guy
that played stan the java man plays the bizarro version of Kramer in the Bizarro World episode.
Oh, my God.
So, congratulations.
Okay, I'll take it.
You take it when you can get it.
Now, the SidePoint can be traded in for one real point, or you can just keep it on the side.
You decide later.
Ooh.
Tim, I'm going to think about it.
Okay, you think about it.
Tim, I'm going to think about it.
Okay, you think about it.
Which comedy group did an episode of their Comedy Central series called Coffee Shop,
where they all opened their own coffee shop?
Stella.
Yes, Michael.
Fuck.
I was a millisecond behind.
Boy, this really is a java lanche.
Where's the end of this java lanche?
We're in the homestretch, and you're going to feel it, because here we go.
We're going to feel it.
Are you feeling it? We're're gonna feel that we don't like this okay the question is other there are three left guys
oh this feels like the way um zooby condorino you wouldn't shut up no no this is really good
this is you didn't know when to stop zoobie zoobie would
love this segment if you can hear it but that's why it's a java lunch final three questions on
the morning the sloppy boys filmed their hit music video lifeguard life who stopped at starbucks and
picked up a 96 ounce coffee traveler for the whole crew. Tim did. Yes. Tim did. For the whole crew.
A warm hearted man.
The whole crew of us and two other people.
Five people in that building total.
The entire crew.
Okay.
On the hit podcast, The Sloppy Boys.
Ooh.
Booze News editor in chief, Tim Kalapagas,
once sampled which brand of hard coffee?
Babs.
Yes.
Oh, nice.
Now, see, I'm not very good at the quizzes, I think, historically.
I feel like I'm in the lead now.
Tim, is that incorrect?
That can't be true.
I'm counting.
Yeah, what is it?
20 to 21?
No. Well, it all depends. Jeffff do you want to use your side point
you know tim i've thought about it i'd like to exchange my side point for a point okay um oh no
this could fuck me i'm just doing the conversion right here okay yeah this shouldn't take too long
jeff you have one to one uh no it's a half oh fuck um you have six. I thought it was one to one. No, it's a half. Oh, fuck. You have six and a half.
Mike has 10.
What the fuck?
I think.
I don't know.
I had a lot of Jameson.
Okay, I'll take it.
Here's what you're not going to believe.
Michael, with your consent,
I'm going to make the final question for all the marbles.
Yes, I want to do that.
He consented.
I need to do that.
Okay, so Michael agreed.
Jeff has traded in his side point
we are the winner of this
takes all okay
oh man what
does Michael Scott's
coffee mug say
world's best boss Jefferson
Dutton has won the
world's greatest boss
oh careful does it say greatest
or best wait what did you say
i said world's best boss i gotta look it up this is the judges are reviewing oh no the judges
didn't have the answer is it world's greatest best oh God. I do not know what the judges would have done
if that was wrong. That would have been fucked.
Jeff,
you won the Java Lange, so that means
that Michael has to give you some scratch-off money.
Damn it. Alright, I'll send that your way.
Hey, Mike, pay up.
I had it. I should have agreed to that
final point gets the whole thing.
Yep. And also,
it didn't benefit you in any way.
It's not like it would have doubled your winnings.
But.
No.
Thanks for playing the Java Lanch.
I wouldn't even gotten more scratch-off money.
Hey, that's a good, we should do more lanches.
Yeah, especially when it's the Java Lanch.
Goodbye. Oh, Tim got swept away in the Java Lanch. Oh, my God, he's gone. Java Lynch. Goodbye!
Oh, Tim got swept away in the Java Lynch.
Oh my god, he's gone.
All right, let's wrap this turkey up.
That's our show.
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where we release these recipes ahead of time.
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plunge. Yeah, we love those Patrons.
Get in there. We're having some fun.
We're doing a lot of crazy crap over
there. We are
spouting off over there if you really think about it.
What have we done recently, I'm trying to think, on the Patreon?
We've done the songs we've hated the most, our most hated songs.
Best cover songs.
Best cover song.
We did Slapshot, the movie.
We ran a mile.
Each of us ran a mile.
Oh, that was miserable.
Discuss that.
This is must-listen stuff.
It's awesome.
It's fucking fun. This podcast kind of sucks, but the Patreon is great. Oh, that was miserable. Discuss that. This is must-listen stuff. It's awesome. It's fucking fun.
This podcast kind of sucks, but
the Patreon is great. Oh, the Patreon.
You didn't hear it here, but this shit sucks.
Patreon sucks.
Goodbye, everyone. Bye.
See you next week. Bye, everybody.
Oh, and also
kiss the Blarney Stone. Next week is
St. Paddy's Day.
Woo! Don't kiss the Blarney Stone. Next week is St. Paddy's Day. Woo!
Don't kiss the Blarney Stone.
The locals pee on it.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys.
Give it up for your boys. Always