The Sloppy Boys - 202. Lone Ranger

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

The guys make a summery sparkling wine cocktail from famed bartender Jeffrey Morgenthaler.LONE RANGER RECIPE1.5oz/45ml TEQUILA 1oz/30ml LEMON JUICE .5oz/15ml RICH SIMPLE SYRUP 2oz/60ml BRUT ROSÉ SPARKLING WINEAdd ingredients (except Rosé) to a shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled. Add the Rosé and strain into a Collins glass filled with ice. Garnish with a lemon twist.Recipe via Liquor.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. The Sloppy Boys, the best choice for you. Oh, that's good. I'm Jeff Dutton, along with Mike Hanford. That's right. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up? We're hosts of the best podcast, the best comedy podcast in the whole world that's true we have uh

expanded ascended and no we've ascended expanded and conquered conquered now so when that's done now we're doing what's the new catchphrase retained and retained i thought you just said it to jeff as you oh i i saw a thing at the grocery store today it said the best choice for you and i said that could work on a pod that could work for anybody that's pretty good who's making a choice i like those ones like um you know in mad men when he says lucky strike it's toasted and then they're like but don all of the all tobacco and cigarettes is toasted he's like yeah yeah but it's toasted so it sounds nice even though it's true so yeah like sloppy boys podcast you listen to it get a little of this well we could also to make it a little more modern we can say put this in your ear hole

oh i like that you do yeah that's actually awesome. We should rename this podcast Booze for the Earhole. That sucks. Okay, we got to call out the elephant in the room. Odd sort of recording situation today. Mike is in LA. We're all in LA. But me and Mike are in the same apartment at different ends of it. So we're recording online.

Everything failed to get this podcast together. I was supposed to be home by now. I was supposed to be at a red eye last night. I woke it up in, in New York city at 5. AM. And we were going to record me back in my house. Cause you know, I've been at a, we've either been live or I've been in a

fucking hotel room for the past couple. Right. And today we were going to get back down to business. Who knows if my microphone is set up right? I believe it is. Man, after all those shows, you were going to take a red eye home and then do a pod the next day. I mean, that's the grind. We've got to wake up

and grind it out. Yeah, see, folks, for you you this is free entertainment yeah especially you freeloaders aren't on the patreon but for us it's a job okay what what freeloaders that aren't on the patreon i actually at this point i think it would be weird to borrow a phrase you'd have to write you'd be actually weird if you were listening to this cocktail podcast but not subscribed to patreon.com slash the sloppy boys five dollars a month for the blowout the better show i don't jeff i don't think anyone's doing that because that would be like i don't think it's weird it would be like

if you if you watched like a friends episode and just stopped halfway through and then the next next week you watch the next episode halfway through and stop yeah and you don't watch the better back half of friends right exactly you don't you watch the right because they come out they tried either way it's weird remember they had a bunch of episodes for free on nbc but then they were like uh-uh go to patreon.com slash friends once it hit the 11 minute mark 11 30 mark uh nedry came up and was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. He would come in from Seinfeld because they had him. Since they had him. Yeah, I mean, he's on the payroll.

May as well use him. Well, I think that graphic, too. I mean, I know Jurassic Park was cutting edge graphics wise, but even that simple ah was like that still costs over a million to get done it's like we have that we have nedry and yeah thursday night lineup let's use them let's use them they're like um what's his name nedry wayne knight wayne like wayne wayne um we have the thing we want you to do on we know you're on seinfeld we want you to do a thing for friends and we want you to do your thing for Jurassic Park. He'd be like,

well, what can't we just use the graphic that you had for the movie? Cause that was over a million dollars. That's the whole point you were talking about for the last minute. Ah, yes. Well, here's another thing that happened. So I was supposed to be on,

Jeff was supposed to be healthier. He's been, he's been sick. Yeah. Still I'm supposed to be. Yeah. Jeff, the plan was for you to be of good

health. And we, you know, Tim and I didn't help Jeff achieve better health when I was out here. We went to, you heard it on the blowout speaking of, we went to a We went to Raging Waters, which is my pitch by the way. A water park. I'm happy we went. And then we played a show

and then all these other things. Jeff, you're lucky to have been sidelined because we've had sort of a debaucherous run of night since then. There was a Hanford stand-up show that led to a late night. There was an Echo Park Rising bar crawl during the day. There was parties. There was drinking. There's been Chinese food in the mix. I am so bummed to have missed out on i mean this weekend was supposed

to be like a big fun weekend yep yeah i know we missed you i'm i'm very bummed to uh yeah but you got to play fortnight you're happy no no i did i did season four night yeah that's true or the new skins i don't know i hear mike said there's a new season there's all sorts of new skins it's a new season and i haven't even played yet so but if you know of any of any spoilers tim don't say them i don't think you do i don't i just don't know you you you find i wouldn't think you'd know so much about olivia rodriguez either but there we are okay we have different areas of expertise let's just agree on that that's true um i want to say this jeff now we we went to tim and i went to a birthday party that you also were invited to, but couldn't go because you were sick.

Now, the invite said, dress to impress. That was the fun thing. And Tim and I, the day before, we go out to the mall and get pretty rizzed up. That was the plan. Mike texts and say, hey, what do you say we go to the mall and get all rizzed up? Okay. Now, getting rizzed up means somebody used their charisma upon you. No, no. For us, the clothes themselves are rizzed up and we wear them. We bought rizzable clothes. The clothes made us rizzed. Okay. Got you.

So we're going to, I mean, it was such a great, but the party was great because everyone was dressed up nicely. It really puts everyone in a fun mood anyway i went and my god jeff i'm we're gonna post i'll when i get home i'll take a picture of myself in the outfit and we'll post it it's the coolest look you've ever seen you didn't take any pictures on the night i don't think so it wasn't that type of vibe yeah that's true here's an interesting thing about your little buddy hanford's brain jeff that you might not have known this He looked fantastic, okay? In an outfit you would never see me in ever.

A real statement item, one huge statement item shirt, and then some pants, and then some socks that fit the theme, but let me tell you this. Okay. All green, all different shades of green. Why did I think it was green? Because of the green suit that time. He and remember the green suit and then he has the

grinch song about green the guy has green on the gorge i am i've realized this about myself i've told you this in the past couple years i started getting new like you know what all these towels are gross let me just buy new towels and what am i holding on to these things we're just trying to wash them no more blue i'll get green but you know mean? And I was. I was doing a lot of mint green, seafoam green. I like green stuff. I think, I mean, I've realized in the past couple of years it's my favorite color. I'll say that when asked, when pressed. I know you don't mind a dollar bill either.

Well, that's me where it might be where it all stems. I love that. Ooh, those shades together. Maybe that's it. You cranked it. I'm a money man. And so, Mike, I know you're not afraid of a big swing. That's nice.

I can't wait to see what that is. But what about my boy, Tim? Tim had a classic look. I looked very rizzed up, but not as much statement. I looked kind of like how I look. You would say, yeah, Tim dresses like that, but all new. He looked a crisper version of his all black suit look, or all black. I looked like a guy who owns a diner, which of his all, all black suit look or all black.

I looked like a guy who owns a diner, which is kind of what I want to look like these days, but the rich, the guy who owns several diners, a chain, one of those diners, it's doing like a new version of a local chain of a diner, a beloved. Yeah. And this is the new generation. This is the millennial who's taken over and he's trying to, you know, really make some big choices, but here's, what's interesting shopping. I don't't really shop with anyone else ever so it's kind of funny to be shopping with another guy and be like i mean it's kind of funny to admit you like someone hey check out this i think this looks cool i think i'll look handsome in this but uh here's we we found our struck gold both at the same store for our shirts they were both zara oh boy we wanted fast fashion you went out searching for fast fashion you're boasting about on the pod great okay well because

we wanted big swings that wouldn't hurt the wallet yeah yeah okay and so when a dolphin is choking on your fucking green suit we know we we have heard the things we know about fast fashion look i got some zara everyone you know you walked on the street and a little plastic wrapper falls out of everyone's pocket at one point you know what i mean oh yeah okay so really good we're all having no more morality anywhere else in your life yes but that's i'm interested to see you guys in some zara fits so that's going to be a good look it was the most comfortable thing i've ever worn mike was looking at his shirt and then these young dudes, probably 20 years old,

three young dudes walk up and they go to Mike, they go, yo, that goes hard. And they're like, no, they were just talking to themselves. They're like,

Oh dude, this goes hard. And I was holding it. Cause I just tried it on. I popped it. I was like, yeah, it goes hard.

I'm getting it. And then they turned around and they were like, Oh, you got to do these shorts. And they gave me the same color shorts, like tiny. I was like, yeah, okay. I didn't even try them on. They were too small, oh, you got to do these shorts. And they gave me the same color shorts, like tiny. I was like, yeah, okay. I didn't even try them on.

They were too small. Damn, I got to see that. It was great, Jeff. Okay. I know you had to do it for this party. We should do Get Rizzed Up, if that's what you want to call it. Well, we thought about getting you, but you were. I didn't.

But in like six months, we'll do. Oh, no, I know. But you were kind of out of commission. Sure. We did one episode of the sloppy boys blowout that was about fashion. I can't remember what it was. Was it just best garment or something? Best garment maybe. Well, I feel like we talked about the brands. We,

we ended up after a few drinks talking about like what look were gravitate or, or when we talked about like handsomest guy, we were like, who do you try to look like? What makes a handsome guy? That was a good. Because I walked in there. I really didn't have a plan. And I think I went to some comfort zone.

Mike was not going into the comfort zone. And that was impressive. So it's interesting to see when you have options in front of you. You guys had or one of you had a big Hanford psychological breakthrough in that one, too. You were like, you picked Luke Wilson because you look like him. No, we all kind of. You thought I would. You thought I would.

You didn't pick it, and I was mad at you because I said someone that looked like me, and then Jeff said someone that looked like him. And then you threw it off. I forget who I picked. But I confronted you, and we worked it out. Tim, you said Marlon Brando, no? someone that looked like him and then i forget you threw it off i forget who i picked but i confronted you and we worked it out tim you said marlon brando no i said like classic yes i said i said brando and i'm not saying that i look like brando but i'm saying that no no no and that was not what we're going you could see that that would be what i would right the the ideal platonic ideal sure i'd be platonic friends with him that's for damn sure although he the the ideal platonic ideal. Sure.

I'd be platonic friends with him. That's for damn sure. Although he wasn't very platonic with Richard Pryor had sex with Richard Pryor. Marlon Brando did. Yes. That's so funny. It's like I don't even put them in the same time period, I guess, because we're talking about Brando. Well, one was old.

One was young. Well, we're just talking about Brando and his young look i think right now and it just well i mean when i say i look like want to look like brando i'm not even gunning for the young look i'm going for apocalypse now yeah i'm going for he has to be cloaked in shadows shot from the neck up i was hoping for a little bit of uh doctor island of dr moreau swinging on a big swing on a hammock give me a push i never saw that movie well are we getting some booze news hit it i just moments ago i said serena there was i called you out on the show once i said said something and you said like an Italian version.

I was like, why'd you do that? Now why? Oh, pastrami-o. A chile-a-cioni. Or even a salami. You got the motor down. Tried watching a Charlie Ciappolino. Another Midori?

Yes, I'll have one more. Bill Joel's thinking about his favorite author of Carawahio. Claptonino. All right. Now, why did you say Claptonino? The singles? Like the Kraft Singale? Now, why did you say Singale? You said singles, and then you said Singale. I'm feeling like, I'm like, here I'm talking about cheese.

I'm asking about cheese. I gotta spice it up somehow. Eh, what can you do? It's Booze News, you Italian dudes. Wow. Italiano Hanford was sent to us by Ad. A-D. Ad. And if you've got a Booze News theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast

at gmail.com. That was very impressive. Ad rock, I'm sure, that they're talking about from the Beastie Boys. That was pretty impressive. and it makes me realize that I have got to screw loose. And did I call you out every time? The same way. No, why did you do that? And me, I stay quiet.

We was in church, man. Let them figure it out, Jeff. They'll destroy each other soon. Let them figure it out, Jeff. They'll destroy each other soon. Folks, if you are a fan of Mike's weird behavior of taking words and making them Italian, go to thesloppyboys.com and buy some of our Sarbina Carpenterini merch. That's good merch. That shirt was a windfall for us.

We reposted somebody wearing it, and I was like, damn, that is a really cool shirt. Yes. It was on white. The logo on white. It had a nice fit. Well looked. Well done. I remember, Mike, when you pitched that, I'm sure I felt like I was busy or something like that.

And you were like, I have an idea. We do a Sarbina Carpenterini shirt that looks like this with a bunch of AI Sabrinas on it. Yeah. And I was like, I think he's just saying AI to make it sound like an easier job for me. Yeah. That's what I thought. I thought just AI, you just type it in, you get it. Type it in and you get it. Not so my boy.

Hey, I've got a, I've got a, I just had a Sabrina Carpenter, Sabrina Carpenter illumination recently. You know, Tim and I were talking about how her song uh espresso mi espresso is all there's so many weird phrases in it and it's like it it grabs into your ear because like i never heard that before uh you know proper nouns too like nintendo and mountain dew that seems like calculated but so then i thought to myself okay this sounds like a very good song and then it sounds like just just approximations of phrases and stuff. New versions.

And I said, well, what's so big these days, Mike, that everyone's talking about? And what do you think is on the cutting edge? And I thought to myself, AI image stuff. You get a picture that slightly looks like, you know, Jerry Seinfeld lifting weights with Donald Trump. You know, it's like just close enough. And I think, my friends, I think we have a societal collective mind saying we like things that are just off just a little bit. Yeah, it's got to be a little novel to stick in your head. Now, you remember all those years ago, everyone was drawing pictures of, you know, theons who looked like the sopranos or the x-men look like mashupy shit yeah but i think

that's what people are we're so bored of everything that we just want stuff that looks weird am am i i scrolled past this real fast so i could be mistaken but to support mike's point was there like a trend a week ago that was like AI, like pictures of like Donald Trump posing with pregnant Kamala, but it didn't look like Kamala? I saw, I've seen images like that, which is just like, there's so many of them out there. It was, but it was very big for a day. And I think it was because we were talking about where it's like, it's just looked off. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I don't know. know are we like tired of seeing ai shit like isn't there like

an ai-ness that you immediately clock you know yeah but i think i think the thing is the ones that you can immediately clock it could be out there too we don't know now jeff you your video screen's swapping back and forth he's flipping around yeah this is this weird thing though is like you look so different when you would think you mirror your face and it's the same, but no, you look like a whole different guy. Try it again. Jeff, flip yourself there. Well, it's because my face is so asymmetrical,

Tim. I got one eye that's actually about an inch higher than the other one. Wow, me too. Damn, I got a jaw problem over here. Mike's got a lower eyelid is his thing. my let my left the sinister eye oh my here you're right though about like something being a little off is like catchy yeah it's we talked about that Burger King commercial

to the BK have it your way it's like off off off what would that be off to i don't that's just like bad i don't it's like right yeah it's just like said but it's it sounds like not auto-tuned so it might be a little flat yeah but then just like yeah it's like you kind of said loudly rather than sung there's an episode of switched on pop about it but yeah like anything with a little nuance to it be it a sabrina carpenter lyric or a bk jingle um we hear so much paula's shit that just doesn't break through the noise that any any yeah we're we're in the age of slight nuance you can't go all the way to being a visionary artist no no no no no slight nuance yeah it's like we are farmers bump it up bump bump bump bump like it's just like that's a weird fucking yeah right right right but you but you like it's why people like remember

like all of a sudden you'll remember like jingles from your hometown radio station like oh because it's wasn't like anything in the real world so it's like sticks in your brain. Um, I also saw this great reel on Instagram where a guy was saying that like competition generally breeds sameness and that, um, you really got to think outside of the box to kind of cut through the noise. Like, you know, he said, use for example, Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola has been top dog forever. And you'd think if you were going to compete with Coke, you'd need something that tastes like tastes like coke but comes in a bigger bottle and is cheaper but he said the greatest threat to coca-cola has been red bull which comes in a small can oh and uh you know kind of tastes

like crap and um and it's and it costs a fortune and so that's been like the disruptor thing where you kind of got to zag. You always got to zag. So then maybe we shouldn't be saying the Sloppy Boys podcast, you listen to it. Maybe you don't listen to it. We might have to go back to Ascend, Expand, and Conquer. Yep.

Yeah. But what's the opposite of like, yeah, yeah, you don't listen to it or like the Sloppy Boys's a tv show what flip away now yeah i mean that wasn't that like a famous like like patagonia was like don't buy this shirt or volkswagen was like this car's a lemon yeah we go this route it's the sloppy boys podcast Boys podcast. It's toxic. It's toxic. We can use the... The Sloppy Boys. Don't you know that it's toxic?

Alright, what's the actual booze news? Holy shit. Okay, booze news. Here's the thing, guys. We are celebrating the release of our film, we not yes we are in full swing people are watching it man people are watching it's great blood sweat and beer is now available on apple and amazon um and you it would be fair to characterize this as a texan film would it not yes yes therefore it would be appropriate to have a little bit of

Texan booze news. Am I wrong? No. Okay, well. Jeff and I declare not following us through this. The rest of the show is going to be like this, by the way. Just questions yelled at you.

And you answer in unison. Okay, well, Jeff Dutton texted me this story uh out of texas booze news is robot at the ballpark folks and i just sent it to you in the chat at globe life field uh oh robot bartender at the bar at the ballpark robot bartender at the ballpark i guess robot would be interesting as well but robot bartender at the ballpark at globe life field in arlington texas where the texas rangers play um baseball they've got a robot bartender named adam making the drinks at one of the bars um and you can go online you can watch video this how's adam spelled hold on i bet it's got to be it's it's got to be a oh it's not a t-o-m okay no no a-d-a-m um

now there have been robot bartenders before as like you know in vegas or tokyo as more of a novelty at a theme bar or something. But this is kind of the first time that it's like, hey, you're just out at a ballpark. Oh, they put a jersey on them. Yeah, that's kind of cute. It's from this company that makes the like rich tech robotics, makes these like atom robots. So then the Rangers bought one and it's been served since the it's the whole back half of the MLB season. This thing has been

you program it makes any drink you want and and it's precise do you talk to it like a human or do you do you punch in buttons or that's what i couldn't find i was i was watching uh videos of it and i couldn't see whether you entered it on an ipad i feel like you probably do yeah i'm watching the clip right now and I have that, I have it muted and the guy is talking to the reporter and in the background, Adam is like maybe the YMCA or something. H-O-T-T-O-G-O maybe. Maybe.

It's just really funny to see. He's dancing by himself. You know what's the best? Remember watching videos of those As uh videos when he tripped on the stairs and fell it's so great watching like a modern marvel of technology do a shitty job just eat shit walking upstairs and then they pull out like a little courtesy curtain well how do we feel about the robot bartender are we are we worried is it gonna do a good job i don't think it's gonna do a good job

i think it's i think something like that is perfect for las vegas or a stadium or something but yeah sure going into a bar and talking to a bartender is like the thing like that's that's a huge part you gotta explain like i want like a whiskey soda but with like a lot of soda and like a lot of ice so put it in a big glass and they go so tall. The robot's not going to do that. Yeah, you're right. I need that human exchange of a person saying, just say the one word. You fool.

You can't explain a grimace piss to a robot. Well, they probably already know it anyway, because it's online. So Mike, you wouldn't put this up there with the sphere. You've talked about how we're kind of on the edge of something huge there. You've brought up how AI could be big at some point. I think it's already big. Politics. You said that you were getting into politics.

That hasn't gone away. That actually has. Being on the road and not having a TV on. In my house, I'll just put a TV on if I'm cleaning or something. So I haven't really been keeping up on politics. What TV do you put on? YouTube Live? No. What I've been doing is I've been going to CNN and then going to MSNBC and Fox and seeing what all the different perspectives are. But how do you have those apps?

Hulu. On Hulu TV. Hulu. Hulu. On Hulu TV. Hulu. Hulu. Very interesting out there, hearing all the different people talk about all this stuff. All the people talking all this stuff about me. I got to figure out who I'm going to vote for. I got to register. I got to register before Christmas.

Definitely before Christmas. You don't register? Long before Christmas., I will be registered. Definitely before Christmas. You're not registered? Long before Christmas. No, I'm registered. I'm registered. And I want you folks to get registered as well. Yeah, we'll do a big vote-a-thon. Yes, we should do.

Like Diddy had that vote or die thing. We should do rock the vote. Well, I don't really want to follow the footsteps of Diddy at all, to be honest with you. Well, in some ways. He's bad, but we should do Rock the Vote. Nah, probably not. Yeah, I don't think we're going to pull off the Platinum Albums part either. Ooh, it's warm.

Well, is that it for Booze News? Wrap it up. I love this. Ooh, Meeland. Wow, that's good. That was a fun one. Risqué. Yeah.

Well, with Boozoo's shrinking into the rear view, we push the gas forward and vault toward the drink of the day, the D of the D. Bye, S. That's how we do it here on the show this is how we do it okay so the d of the d huh the lone ranger you've had no no oh oh milan give me remember when i had echo on the fall highball. Give me some echo and then a whoosh after this. The Lone Ranger! Yeah, that's good. Put in a little of that like that type of stuff too.

Throughout the episode. Hey, bring back that Greek music from last week and play it the whole episode. Yeah, layer that on the whole episode. The Lone Ranger, you've heard? No. No, no, no. Did you not hear your boy talk about it in Booze News last week?

Oh, yeah, I guess I did. I thought we didn't really count that anymore. I think I did. I forget if I did. I think you did because we were talking about the band Alera. And we talked about the Lawn Wranglers. And we talked about the band wranglers and we talked about the band from airheads. Yeah.

So I've not had, and I hadn't heard at the start of 2024, but as we got into the summer here, you guys know what happens. I'm trying to enjoy myself. I have a nice little summer here in the dog days of summer, especially, but then what happens in the,

in the pocket of my bathing suit, sometimes wet bathing suit at the water park. Zap. Everybody else in the lazy river getting shocked with me. That's how it works, right? You can bring your phone in the water, but if somebody

texts you the whole everybody in that body of water gets zapped it's zapped it has not happened yet um okay well yeah this is a drink that it's getting the buzz folks a better home and gardens better homes and gardens called it the drink of the summer 2024 they did punch gave it a little write-up because we're getting tick tocks we're getting reels we're getting x posts we're getting i'm getting at mentions and dms from slop heads left and right and we the sloppy boys said well a buzzy drink that has the name the lone ranger that sounds rather texan we're promoting a texan documentary are we not yes yes rather texan i think anyone listening would agree that sounds rather and it would be perfect for some guys who

are on the promo cycle for their hit film available on apple and amazon yes so we decided to pull the trigger and do it this week because of the synergy. You know? Yeah. The scintillating synergy. That's serendipitous synergy. And you might get singed. Don't get singed by the synergy, Sloppy Boys Podcast.

That's pretty good. You'll listen to it. How about get singed in the synergy? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. You want to do it. Like we want to get singed in the synergy oh yeah oh that's good you want to do it like we want it get singed in the synergy um well all that texan stuff aside here's the funny thing this drink was actually invented 12 years ago in portland oregon oh how many years ago 12 in portland hey but we're going to be playing. We're doing a live podcast in Portland in November on our West coast pod tour.

Are we not the stripper capital of America? Yes. Maybe we redo the ranger, the lone ranger. Yeah. Well, maybe we visit the site of its birth. Ooh,

folks. Come see us on tour in Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Los Angeles, earth folks come see us on tour in vancouver seattle portland san francisco los angeles all in november take a look at our socials by the ticks folks yeah snatch them up um so 12 years ago in portland uh there was this famed bartender jeffrey morganthaler um he had a bar he was at a bar uh called clyde common which is now closed but now he still has bars called pacific standard and the sunset room but it was called clyde clyde common clyde common and it's closed clyde common closed he should have called it like opi uh opion

and it'd still be open hey that's where you get your haircut is an opium don't don't dox where i get my haircut where you go once a month for one hour not even opium not even i'm in and out in 25 minutes um that place is great folks if you're on hillhurst check out opium's hair it's two brothers who run it and one of them is an artist and he made the whole place look like middle earth there's a fountain inside and that's what it is i thought i thought it was like tuscan or no it's like middle it's like fantasy art yeah it's like but there's like blue waves and stuff on the wall right like or like blue little figures yeah i guess it's not like literally tolkien no i know i know but it is kind of, yeah, it looks like you're in the woods or in the water. I don't know what's going on over there.

Anyway. Well, at the closed Clyde Common, Jeffrey Morgenthaler was, he was doing a bit of a twist on the French 75, as you can see, kind of using that whole idea and swapping a few ingredients to update it while still keeping it brunchy and daytimey and fun uh it gained popularity and really only just blew up big this year and you can see how it's appealing uh and and a modern kind of a drink because it's got sparkling rose for the rose all day people it's got tequila so we're kind of riding the wave of the ranch water nam san um and uh i personally am happy to see that it's tequila not mezcal i would love to get back into more tequilas folks oh yeah the smoke is a joke tequila makes you feel really good for me um and and hey even though this is not a tean drink, we are here in the dog days of summer, sluggishly

slopping around, rewatching blood-sweating beers all day in the hot summer heat. Yeah, your eye in your sweaters, but you think, not yet, better just put on blood-sweating beers one more time. I'll just take the pilling off some of these sweaters. Yeah, I'll prep them. I'll prep them. Prep them up. But it's a good time. Late August is a good time to be sort of uh

refreshing reaching for a refresher and here are the ingredients which we got from liquor.com one and a half ounces of tequila, one ounce lemon juice, half ounce rich simple syrup. Usually simple syrup is a one to one water to sugar. But when they say rich simple syrup, we're talking that other possible ratio. You always hear of two to one, two sugars to one. So, Mike, I've got us since you're in my home right now. I've got normal simple syrup, but I also have some packets of sugar so we can sweeten it up a little more if we need. And thicken it up.

I wish I used to have good Demerara raunchy sugar syrup. Thick and rich. Calm down, Jeff. What? Two ounces Brut Rosé sparkling wine. We're talking about a pink Prosecco kind of a vibe here. I'm dry, folks. Brut means dry.

Go dry. As we were just talking about this in this episode, as we were leading up to this part, I thought to myself, oh, fuck, this is that drink that's got the Prosecco in it. I am not happy. But you liked Rosé that time. I like Rosé. Yeah. Prosecco is a different thing but an extra dry sparkling uh rose oh that's the thing i couldn't find something just called

sparkling rose it was called prosecco rose but it's got to be the same prosecco i found the stuff but i didn't want to get a 25 bottle so i just I just got sparkling rosé in cans. Oh, fuck. But here's the thing. Oh, yeah, that does seem like kind of a thing that was happening. I didn't think to look at the cans. But if the, um, I want the taste, you know, I want it to be properly balanced. And so I looked it up and they said

if you go with not a brute rosé, just sort of a classic rosé, it might be a little sweeter. So maybe then you are okay with a standard simple syrup. Well, get ready to have your hair blown back. This Prosecco rosé I got says extra dry. So even though it doesn't say brute, it said extra dry. Okay, and the garnish is going to be a lemon twist.

Here is the method. Add tequilaquila lemon juice simple syrup into a shaker with ice and shake until well chilled add the sparkling wine whoa add the sparkling wine strain into a collins glass filled with fresh ice garnish with a lemon twist i thought we would be topping after the strain pour but but no, no, no. No need to top. No need to top. So you're really measuring it out. But you're essentially making a French 75 here with a couple swaps.

I love it. And what we learned from that is when you're drinking these, you're thinking, oh, it's just a brunch drink. But it's actually kind of strong because it's got both the wine and the liquor. Huh. What do you think about that? I'm excited. Alright, folks. We're going to go shake up and then add

rosé to these drinks. And when we come back, you know it's first sips. That's right. Welcome to the science behind your salad. The series is about food. The podcast explores every nation, every crop in the world,

the challenges of growing food in today's context and really the future security of growing. I don't think there are many podcasts that really get under the skin of food like this podcast does. Be sure to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. and we're back alone rangers in hand yes yes i didn't get a great yield off my shaker yeah i i i had to add you guys put ice in there, right? Yes. I filled up ice. I got a perfect yield, but I'm not as pink as Jeff's. Jeff's looks nice and pink. I know.

Tim and I use the same ingredients, but shook ours differently. We each made our own. We each made our own. Our Prosecco Rose was not quite as pink as Jeff's stuff, I'm guessing. But this does look like a very nice late summer refresher, does it not? Yeah, I'll tell you how refreshing it looks. I just took a sip even before first sips was announced. It just drew me right to it.

We'll hold you in contempt of pod. That's how Mike judges things. If, if, when your hand is just going for it, that's when Mike knows he's into it. Yeah. All right. I'm sipping. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Interesting. I feel good after that one sip now the bubbly's coming through more than i expected i'm tasting it so i'm shocked that mike is on board still yeah um i said i put this cool uh green tim had a green straw here. It looks really nice. With the kind of yellowy. Yeah, yeah. We know you're a fucking, you got a green kink or something right now. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Is it a straw

or a swizzle stick? That's so funny. I wasn't even trying to make a joke. I was just drawn to this green thing. Wow. I'm prime suspect to get zapped up by those little green dudes. Probably a prospect, I think I wanted to get zapped up by those little green dudes Prime prospect I think I wanted to say that suspect Damn This is a refresher

I mean daytime drink Also here's I like this ice Jeff listen to this I'm having trouble with my freezer I'm having trouble with my freezer. I'm having trouble with my fridge. My fridge is like kind of like lukewarm. It's like barely colder than the kitchen.

But then my freezer is not cold. Have you found the knob? There's a knob. Oh, I've been twisting knobs. I've been doing everything. I think this thing's on its last legs. That's exciting though. Damn. The freezer is not cold enough to be really a freezer, but it's like a fridge. doing everything i think this thing's on its last legs but um that's exciting though the freezer

is not cold enough to be a really a freezer but it's like a fridge it's colder than the fridge fridge two it's fridge two fridge two um so my i i didn't have any ice in my uh freezer because my ice trays weren't weren't freezing so right before the pod i ran over to subway and god said can i have two large fountain drinks? And I just filled them to the top with ice. And it's nice. It's chunky ice out of a fountain thing. It's making for a good little, it melts kind of fast.

When my freezer is functional, it freezes my shit rock solid. And I set it on the coldest setting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of nice to have some warm ice that dilutes a little bit. It seems there always seems to be freezer problems any time anyone's over at the house. Yeah, you need some of that warm, soft ice with the sort of squishy ice. But think about it.

I always like a drink better when it gets a little melty, so I should have ice that's like just 32 degrees, not zero degrees. Ice that does that. I don't know. I don't know about that, Tim. I think you're going to want it as cold as possible and let it get down. I think there's something to that. It'll get there.

It'll get there, Tim. I need to still check into this. I haven't found a good one yet, but I need to find like a pellet ice tray or something that makes like 200 little pellets oh yeah i'm sure that exists i'm sure i got so many different kinds of ice mostly i just use normal and then big cube yeah you know what tim you've got these things that i i need to get it's a uh an ice container that makes the long like you know cubes that look like a stick of butter like a collins stick it down on a collins yeah yeah that's that's what i need i like they do that over at uh first time i ever saw that was over katana kitten in new york city nice and sometimes you see them

like really chop up the ice like they actually sculpt yeah that's really cool that's beautiful because it looks like it looks like this is going to be a crazy chunk and then all of a sudden it starts to take a smooth shape like a diamond yeah yeah it looks like smooth is going to be a crazy chunk. And then all of a sudden it starts to take a smooth shape, like a diamond. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like smooth as glass. They do that, Jeff.

I've seen that over a dead rabbit in New York city. I mean, this is, there's ice. The ice game in New York is all through the roof. Have you had the Irish coffee at dead rabbit? No. Damn.

No, I didn't. Dead rabbit's a cool place. I was initially didn't like it. Cause I found out, I was like, Oh, this old school place. And then I heard it was like, you know, opened in 2017 or something. I was initially didn't like it because I found out I was like, oh, this old school place.

And then I heard it was like, you know, opened in 2017 or something. I was like, oh, it's a fake place. But then I was I went up to like the bar upstairs. It's a fake place. No, it's just like this is a traditional. And I went to the bar upstairs. It's very nice. And even the bar downstairs is nice, too.

I just had to get it get over. I need over myself. It's a very very very respected bar and those bartenders are very respected stuff but also maybe this put a bad taste in your mouth i did i brought up the website one time on the show and i read the blurb and it was sort of like we stepped off the plane into new york and we took one look at the city and we're like this'll do and then we took over the this and it was like okay oh no but you never know who's writing the copy for the about section of the website so i've noticed that too with my uh

some of my uh stand-up stuff the picture that they use and i think probably the picture we me and my manager sent them was and the one i agreed on was the like my headshot pic and then but seeing in practice i'm like oh i should have i gotta get it um we posted that when you forgot to take an uzo selfie yeah i saw that it's a little bears it's also old i still see my my my first uh headshot and only i've never paid for a professional headshot but there was one where i was sitting in the in the driveway and chris van artdale and took a picture. And if you look over my shoulder,

you can still, you can see that I'm sitting in a lawn chair. Yeah. And you're wearing it. One of your just like t-shirts that you wear used to wear. It's like a wood fence. Like it's just in front of like a wood Brown fence. I was wearing a black t-shirt from cheapest teas.com.

I used to get a giant box of them. Well, I thought you were wearing the one that had that big eagle on it. That was a cool shirt. Yeah, I took my headshot for a while. It was in the backyard. Mine was on the side yard and you can see the yellow stucco in back of me and somebody was, I guess, like up on the balcony shooting down. So I'm kind of looking up. Why the hell did we need, oh, we probably needed a ucb picture we needed ucb

pictures and then we just tried to use we tried to milk every look we could out of that one shitty house that had really not any look to start with no i mean so much so that this house that we used to live in we like i don't know what it looks like you can't even picture it because it was on a hill at the bottom of a driveway with a big carport uh like what do you canopy but it's like built it's like metal but like oh like an overhang driveway lean to nothing well beginning looking to it was you're coming down on top of it and it's this big flat thing it might as well be like a world world war ii like pillbox yeah and then like you're in the house and of it and it's this big flat thing. It might as well be like a world, world war two,

like pillbox. Yeah. And then like you're in the house and it, it's got all the rooms that a house would have. It's just like, you can't ever get far enough away from it in any one direction to see it. Well, and the rooms, the bedroom stuff aren't upstairs.

It's downstairs. So you enter upstairs and you walk downstairs. You kind of like the house is built into the hill. So you don't see much of it you're right there's no shape to it but we lived there for years before i realized like oh this is just a cube the how the building is just a cube but i've never seen it you know what it reminds me of you know when you're like uh driving in uh the rural area so kind of getting toward towards some suburbs, maybe. But out in like a field, there's just like

a concrete room that has a huge antenna sticking out the top. You know, you're like, who needs to go in there every once in a while

to turn some knobs? It's like, you ever heard the phrase curb appeal? No, but I, it's about people who like curb

your enthusiasm. No, Tim. Damn it. I sure i if you're shopping for houses not a problem for any of us um they sort of rank on zillow like curb appeal like like does the house look nice from the curb and we would have scored a zero goose egg you couldn't see it from the curb because our hill was so drastic. You know what's weird about real estate agents and real estate in general is like when I flirted with buying a house and then I realized I would have to be seven hours outside of LA. What's weird is that character is not appreciated. I like when I walk into a house and I'm like, like oh the kitchen has spanish tile and like oh there's arches are like even if it's weird i'm like there's some character here but you notice every house uh that's like you know like a normal listing for the middle class people would maybe be buying it's like the same gray floor and the

same gray yeah well like splash back splash in the kitchen and no choices no interesting layout no no flair because people are so fucking stupid that they're they're like afraid of anything that they haven't seen before they're like but i'm spending money is i don't know if there should be a tile in the bathroom i don't know if it's the people so much as the builders are just like this is the most efficient thing let's boom boom boom get efficient but i mean you could choose well one different color once in a while but they're like no don't make any choices because it gets scare people away i saw a thread on x the other day from a guy who spoke like he had some authority but he was talking about how just like public space buildings and architecture in general in cities is getting more and more just like utilitarian.

No like flourish to it because there was a time when buildings were supposed to sort of decorate the city. And now a lot of it, you know, people try to make like pretty buildings as well. But I think a lot of it now is get it done as quick as possible and yeah cheap as possible especially with like fast food restaurants like you used to be able to look at a pizza hut and be like that's a fucking pizza hut you can take the sign off it and you can't sneak a pizza hut by anybody yeah or like even a wendy's with like the curved like greenhouse thing like restaurants all kind of looked different and then now they all just have this brutalist, like big corner slab with the logo on it. Like they all look the same.

It's like the slab look. It's like the concrete box with all the, it's like Lego-ish or something. I'm with you. It sucks. I'm with you. And I'll tell you what else about it in McDonald's, you know, as we're rocketing towards the future,

AI and all that. Oh yeah. tell you what else about it in McDonald's, you know, as we're rocketing towards the future, AI and all that. Oh yeah. Uh, anytime I've been to, into a McDonald's and use that self order kiosks, it's fucked up. And I, I need to like,

it messes, it always messes up. And I have to like, either not, I don't know what my number is. I always have to go to the counter and be like, okay, I don't know.

Something happened back there. Yeah. I never do that shit. Yeah. Try. Not even for never do that shit. I don't even try. Not even for a quick Big Mac? No, fuck that. Well, I'd love that if I could pay for it, get my number and receipt. The order's got to be

on point. Now, if Adam the bartender was there, I'd give that a try. Yeah, me too. I want to see him try and make a burger. That'd be fun. Yeah. Getting all fucking greasy. I want to see him toss somebody from the bar i want to see him have a conversation give me some advice have you tried complimenting maybe you need more electricity mike what was yours have you tried complimenting her circuit board it was

you know we're talking computers. There's got to be circuit boards. We know there's electricity. That's two very quick jokes from two smart guys. Hey, so as we rocket forward into round two, are you changing this drink? Is there anything to even change? I want to try this.

Tim, do you have any syrupy cherries? Luxardos. I'm dropping a Luxardo in here. I think I also have the Red Maraschino's if you like that as well. Tim, are you okay with him dropping a Luxardo in there? That's probably like $1.50. Yeah, you got to pay me. Venmo me $1.50.

I think that's why the other ones were just brought up. I'm thinking I might do one of the other ones. I like a nice electric red cherry in a lemony drink. Electric red. You know, so we were just talking to Jessica the other day and she was telling us a story and she used the term neon red

and I'd never heard that before. I was like, ooh, yeah. She was describing someone's eyes. Can't you say neon of any color? Neon green. You can, but I just but I always think neon green, neon yellow, neon purple even as a stretch. Or even neon red. You'd think like, oh, that's pink. No, no.

What about neon black? Oh, that's a good band name. That's got to be something. That's got to be something. That should be our next album title. Isn't there a film production company that's neon? There's one called just Neon. Neon.

Yeah. There's a band called Neon Black. There's a clothing. Neon Bible was a bit of an arcade fire. Oh, there's a band called Neon Black? Yeah, like a synth wave thing. That makes sense. I feel like any type of...

It seems like that would be a round. They're not big, though. You can swipe it. Ooh. All right. Well, for my round, I'm going to poke through the fridge and see if there's anything I can add. But I'm happy. I'm pretty happy.

I know. I'm kind of just reaching just to try some stuff. I'm liking lemon with tequila. You always have lime with tequila, but this is kind of fun. Yeah. I, interesting. I've got an idea about that,

Tim. Oh, for the, for the goodbyes. Switch to lime. All right, folks, we're going to go make round two.

And when we come back, final thoughts. Oh, shit. every crop in the world, the challenges of growing food in today's context, and really the future security of growing. I don't think there are many podcasts that really get under the skin of food like this podcast does. Be sure to follow and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with final thoughts on the Lone Ranger. Michael.

Well, I made for my second round. I put some of that pink. Oh, you're right. Cherry juice in there. Well, I made for my second round. I put some of that pink cherry juice in there. Tim left out some. He put out the maraschinos and I opened the thing and Tim, I don't know if you know, but it's just a mush down there. The cherries and the juice are mush. It's because it was in the fridge.

Which is weird because my fridge is warm. It's crazy. You're not supposed to keep Luxardo's in the fridge. apologize but so i put i put just the regular a regular cherry in there that's good so good too many tweaks i think i just accidentally made the best drink of all time instead of simple syrup i used grenadine because i got some good pomegranate grenadine. And this drink is like, you know, the problem with a Dirty Shirley is it's cloyingly sweet

because it's Sprite plus grenadine. But if you were doing like vodka, lemon, grenadine, and seltzer, then maybe a Dirty Shirley would be better. So this is just very refreshing, but it's like a Ricky. Damn. Because I got to say, it started off pretty balanced it's like a Ricky. Damn. Cause I gotta say it started off pretty balanced.

So I went into my fridge. I was hoping I had a Canada dry ginger ale. Ooh, Jeff. I kind of wanted to like make a long drink even longer, you know, but I didn't have any ginger ale. I did have ginger beer. And so I did two ounces of that. And then on first sips

in the kitchen, in the test kitchen. What was it replacing? Not replacing anything. Just adding it to the existing. That's because you're sick and you just want ginger ale to make you well. No, Tim. I like the taste. Also, that would be wrong.

Don't cure your ailments. I feel like ginger ale would have gone along a little better. This tastes, in the kitchen, I thought like I'd ruined it. And now that it's a little bit meltier, I'm like, yeah, it's fine. But folks, I feel like you got to make this one to the letter of the law. That's my final thought. Yeah, I think you're right. What about when you, instead of rich, simple syrup, you you put grenadine jeff let me ask you this though

before i get to my final thoughts yeah doesn't it look like there's a scary guy standing in the room with mike look look the reflection over here yes a slenderman there's the glow of the venetian blinds and then there's a slenderman shadow mike do you see it this right here right yeah yeah yeah what is it it's um it's your it's your oh it's my pineapple thing yeah and and the two thing here is because it's in front of a mirror it looks like you got you got a weird body on top of two little stick legs just yeah yeah hovering Yeah, yeah. Hovering nearby. Mike, your thoughts, please. My thoughts are, order again. Straight up. Nothing about it.

The first time, I was scared about the Prosecco, but as we discussed, I like Rosé. So the Prosecco Rosé is okay. This is a shocking turn. I'm also going to order again. This is great. But this is a shocking turn of events in the pod. Mike Hanford, champagne hater. Yeah.

Likes rosé so much that he likes sparkling rosé. Tim, I can hear you in the other room louder than I can hear you on my phone. Louder than the earphones. That's because I project. That's our show. Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time. If you can't get enough boys,

patreon.com slash the sloppy boys. You know it's there. You're just putting it off. That's how you get the double laughs every week and you get a whole back catalog. It's there and it's been there. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's time. It's time there. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. It's time. It's time. Wait, Jeff, did you give your final thought or did I miss it? Yeah, I said order again and it's a well-balanced drink and all that. Yes, great. I agree. Well, any plugs?

Um. Yeah. I mean, see the sloppy boys, but I'm doing some stand-up in october in toronto october 5th that's a saturday two shows that night at the comedy what is it called i think it's called the comedy comedy i don't know what it's called mike i'm bummed i missed your lyric show because i know i was bummed too it was very funny i I know. I was bummed, too. It was very funny. I was there. It was funny. I laughed my ass off. Mike was funny. Carmen Christopher, funny, funny night.

Carmen Christopher was super funny. He's got that special. I watched his special on Veep. Now, here's kind of a funny end to that night, Jeff. Yes. Mike does a great show. We're saying, let's go get a drink. And Carmen's like, I can do a drink.

We're like, yeah, we'll keep it classy. We go, a drink. We go to Edendale. Classy place. You're sitting outside's go get a drink. And Carm's like, I can do a drink. We're like, yeah, we'll keep it classy. We'll do a drink. We go to Edendale. Classy place. You're sitting outside. We have a drink. Ferguson's with us. David Ferguson's with us.

We're having a drink. Nice guys just having one drink. We have the one drink, and then we leave. Well, Tim and I had two drinks, and everyone else had one. But then we left. Then we left. Well, then this is rather telling. The two guys that had two drinks.

Sure. Mike says, hey, where are we going now? And I say, well, the drawing room. And then we go and we get completely fucking cross-eyed drunk at the drawing room for no reason. But this is a Friday night, Tim. This is good. This is the end of a hard week. But you know when you find

yourself walking in there, it's like one when we walk in and then we're stumbling out at two you can't be doing this and there's a pizza waiting on the doorstep hanford doesn't even eat any of it i eat two pizzas and fall asleep i don't remember eating them the next night we come home just as as late hanford eats four slices we can't be doing this type of thing. It's all lopsided with this pizza, Jeff. Why is it that the guys can't

each eat one slice of pizza? Why is it one guy has two, one guy has four? Oh, I pizza'd all. You said one drink. That was the whole thing. Right. One drink turned into a weekend of pizza binge. It was nuts, Jeff. You're lucky to be sick and indoors at home. No, no.

I'm sad I missed it. We were sad, too. Mike, what was the drink that the bartender gave us? It was Cactus Cooler. Rancher Cooler. Yeah, Cactus Cooler. Right, right, right. I was going to say Rancher Cooler.

Entirely different than the Cactus Cooler drink that we had at the Venice Room. Oh. And also entirely different than the soda cactus as well oh yeah oh that was funny at the venice room when i was like i looked at the menu saw a cocktail called the cactus cooler and we had established that the the waiter didn't drink and i was like i'll have a cactus cooler and he's like oh we don't have that but we have pepsi seven up and i was like oh no the cocktail i would never be so bold as to just sit down in a restaurant and say at a restaurant and be like, give me some of that fucking sunny D shit. Yeah.

Just picking a soda. You sometimes see like a squirt, please. That was super funny because every time we were so interested in the drinks, we'd be like, rule of heart. What's in that? He'd be like, I don't know, but I can have to ask. I'm not interested in this topic. Bye, folks. Bye, folks. Bye, folks.

Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys. Give it up for your boys